Recapping Rico Bosco & Tate's A+ Trip to the Final Four | The Yak 4-6-26

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Yak | "Recapping Rico Bosco & Tate's A+ Trip to the Final Four" | April 6, 2026

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Main Theme / Purpose

In this episode, the Yak crew—Big Cat, Dave Portnoy, KBNoSwag, Kate, Eddie, Bosco, Donnie, and more—recap their memorable, chaotic, and hilarious trip to the NCAA Men’s Final Four in Indianapolis. They share behind-the-scenes stories, discuss Bosco and Tate’s dynamic as event correspondents, plan for Barstool’s Vegas Spring Break, and riff on everything from NBA player comparisons to awkward social encounters, bathroom artifacts, and tree climbing escapades.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap of the Final Four Trip

• The crew rehashes their adventures at the Final Four in Indy:
  • St. Elmo's Steakhouse Dinner: Standout moments include KC and Dana acting like the old Muppets in the private room and Dana's legendary belches, which had everyone both disgusted and in stitches.
    • "KC was just like, burping so loud in the middle of dinner…a belch at a dinner table is kind of a crazy move." – Dave Portnoy [16:14]
  • Bosco & Tate’s Final Four Coverage: Tate follows Bosco around, documenting his every move as he networks with coaches and collects phone numbers (close to 30, per Bosco). Tate is both impressed and mystified by Bosco’s energy and social maneuvering.
    • "He is one of the funniest people, if not the funniest person I’ve ever met in my entire life...It's the things you do on a second to second basis that are hilarious." – Tate/Kyle [22:06]
  • Wild Suite Life & Hotel Scenes: Illinois fans took over the hotel; Dave relished being booed by the crowd. The whole trip was an A+ experience in chaos, networking, and Barstool camaraderie.

2. Bosco's Schmoozing Style & Phone Number Quest

• Bosco’s obsessive phone number collecting is discussed at length:
  • He aims for relationships with every level of basketball staff, claiming it’s about connections, not just content.
  • The team teases the irrelevance of many of these contacts to Barstool operations.
  • "And again, just so everyone knows, like, these phone numbers do nothing for Barstool. Nothing." – Dante [25:43]

3. Viral Social Moments

• Cringe Table-Crashing: An unknown actor barges into their private dinner and delivers an unplanned, awkward beatbox performance, leading the guys to rehash the cringe in vivid detail.
  • "This guy comes into our private room...Dave goes, 'No, no, I think that was like the house magician.' And I was like, 'What, Dave? The guy's in Michigan gear.'" – Big Cat/Dave [19:07]
• Jack McCarthy Standing During Salute: Jack McCarthy, deep in dinner and slightly tipsy, stands for a military salute by mistake, creating a hilarious patriots-only moment.

4. Debates and Jokes: Hakeem Olajuwon’s Legacy

• Lucas defends Hakeem Olajuwon’s NBA greatness (while 16 beers deep), engaging in a passionate argument about player rankings.
  • "He's better than Tim Duncan for sure. If you put Hakeem in Tim Duncan's situation he wins more championships." – Lucas [12:11]
• The cast grills him on his online behavior, slinging playful barbs about his “dream shake” takes.

5. Barstool Spring Break in Vegas: Plans & Rivalries

• Announcement of the upcoming Barstool Spring Break event in Vegas, with talk of cast alliances and possible troublemakers.
  • "Vegas sounds like it's gonna be awesome." – Bosco [29:27]
  • The cast will stay in insane penthouse suites, and Dante hints at mysterious, epic party plans.
  • Fretting about room assignments, alliances, and who will sleep on the couch (forecasts favor Deutsch).

6. Bosco Bash 2027 Concept

• The group workshops the idea of a future "Bosco Bash" party at the Final Four, featuring a ribbon cutting, a guest wall to draw on, and “no phones for Bosco” to ensure he lives in the moment.
  • "No phone at the Bosco Bash. Everyone else can have a phone. You can't." – Dave [37:59]

7. Office Antics: Climbing Trees & Friendship

• Reed and Chef Donnie’s budding bromance is showcased, beginning with a literal tree climb outside the studio, as Donnie offers to mentor Reed in the art of climbing (and hopefully, content creation).
  • "You guys should be Chef’s sous chef in some videos." – Eddie [105:36]

8. Mini Golf & Barstool Event Coverage

• Details on the upcoming Barstool Chicago Mini Golf Open: Ryder Cup–style matches pitting old office members against younger staff, with Chef Donnie and Titus set for a thrilling rivalry.

9. Miscellaneous Banter & Office Culture

• Extended riffing on:
  • Useless “handout culture” at Barstool.
  • Installing a real Wrigley Field trough urinal and planning for a signature wall for famous visitors.
  • Chef Donnie’s advice to Reed on getting out of the friend zone, culminating in a public attempt to text a crush.
  • The team's skepticism and jokes about the lunar mission and the existence of “Portals” at Hoover Dam.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bosco’s Networking:
  "People kept being like, are we gonna eat? Are we gonna eat? I'm like, no, I run on emotions and phone numbers." – Bosco [25:22]

• On the Scottie Pippen–Hakeem Debate:
  "You're typing like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of its mouth..." – Dave to Lucas [08:24]

• On Their Suite & Hotel Experience:
  "Dave would just go in the lobby and everyone would stop and boom. And he just pretty loves it. Loves it. He's the perfect guy for that." – Big Cat [51:09]

• Bosco Bash Rules:
  "No phone at the Bosco Bash. Everyone else can have a phone. You can't." – Dave [37:59]

• Reed’s crush dilemma:
  "So basically, like...she's basically said, like, no, let's just be friends. And I'm like, God damn it..." – Chef Reed [89:09]

• On the Trough Urinal:
  "If you walk in there and don't use the trough, you might as well go to the woman's..." – Dave [64:54]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:15–16:18| Intro, Ernie's dog photo roast, Lucas's beer pyramid and the art of drunk enthusiasm | | 16:18–22:02| St. Elmo's antics, burp lore, suite and hotel energy during Final Four | | 22:03–26:13| Bosco’s social skills breakdown and Final Four networking techniques | | 29:14–34:35| Vegas Spring Break casting, alliances, what to expect | | 36:08–42:00| Plans for “Bosco Bash”, no-phone rule, and party ideas | | 51:02–53:45| Suite experience, picture quality at stadiums, Illinois fans, and Dave getting booed | | 83:55–102:44| Tree climbing segment—Reed and Donnie’s climb, emerging bromance | | 108:01–109:19| Pickup basketball and office games with Chef Donnie and Reed | | 112:55–114:49| Mini Golf Open preview—Donnie vs. Titus rivalry build-up |

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Other Highlights & Running Jokes

• House Magician Incident: Dave mistaking a random dinner crasher for an official entertainer.
• Deutsch's Beer Odyssey: Drinking 16 beers before noon and building state-shaped pyramids from the cans.
• Friend Zone Chronicles: Reed’s endearing yet misguided attempts to win over a crush, broadcast for the Yak audience’s amusement.
• Office Toilet Innovation: Elaborate plans around the office urinal trough, including celebrity signings.
• Conspiracy Banter: The group’s affectionate suspicion about the authenticity of current moon missions and "portals" at the Hoover Dam.

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Tone & Language

• Loose: Ragged, spontaneous, bro-banter—both supportive and ruthlessly mocking.
• Playful: The group riffs, teases, and invents without restraint.
• Intimately Barstool: Deep meta-commentary on office culture, running jokes, and inside references.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode is quintessential Yak: high-energy storytelling, relentless ball-busting, and a mix of absurdity and genuine camaraderie. The coverage of Rico Bosco’s Final Four antics, the brewing hype for Barstool Vegas Spring Break, and the live-action side quests like tree climbing make for a lively, unpredictable, and thoroughly entertaining listen—an episode that lands as much on heart as it does on hilarity.

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For More

Find every episode of The Yak on Barstool Yak, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube.

Transcript

[Big Cat]

Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[Bosco]

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[Dave Portnoy]

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[Big Cat]

Nice.

[Dave Portnoy]

She's running around barking at people.

[Big Cat]

So is this the commercial? I got a text from your assistant Dom asking for photos of Ernie. Yeah, and I sent one and they printed out and everybody's making fun of him.

[Deutsch]

Why?

[Big Cat]

Because he looks hideous.

[Eddie]

You altered that image.

[Big Cat]

No, I did not.

[Dave Portnoy]

That is as is, by the way. Lucas. Yeah, Lucas is here. Blutman is somehow doing chase job. Kate is wearing a hat. And Eddie's here.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, things are all things are normal.

[Kate]

Intro.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

What is going on? Where's Che?

[Eddie]

I'm guessing Easter Monday.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, I saw him earlier this morning. Yeah, that actually is a good guess.

[Big Cat]

Happy, happy Easter Monday, guy.

[Dave Portnoy]

Happy Easter Monday. Yeah. So wait, what were we talking about? Ernie?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, everyone. No, I didn't alter it. And then it was Peyton. It was like putting pictures in frames. I don't want to spoil this. I don't know what the shoot is, but they were just like, yeah, this is shocking. And then, Kyle, you were taken aback.

[Kate]

It's a funny picture.

[Big Cat]

People reached out to me and they were just like, this is not. This is horrid.

[Kate]

Not horrid. Anatomically, it looks not like.

[Dave Portnoy]

Send the picture.

[Big Cat]

We get the picture. Are going to be mean.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, I mean frog.

[Eddie]

You submitted the picture?

[Dave Portnoy]

I did.

[Big Cat]

I thought it was cute.

[Kate]

It is cute.

[Deutsch]

Remember those little Quiznos creatures?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, a sock monkey or something.

[Deutsch]

Monkey?

[Big Cat]

No, puppy monkey baby you're thinking of. No, that's Doritos.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Deutsch]

But similar energy. Similar energy.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think so.

[Deutsch]

Or Profiglio, if anybody knows.

[Eddie]

Is that a Super bowl thing? Puppy monkey baby.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, something monkeys.

[Dante]

Stephen.

[Eddie]

Happy Easter Monday, Steve.

[Dave Portnoy]

Happy Easter Monday, Steve. Thanks for coming in. I know you're celebrating Easter Monday. How's everyone doing? How's everyone's weekend? We always in indie. Do you want to talk to Tate and Rico?

[Reed]

Uhoh.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh no.

[Deutsch]

Something bad just happened.

[Dave Portnoy]

Deutsch. Go to Deutsch. Oh no. Did it fall again? Deutsch is drinking his beers.

[Kate]

Oh, he started.

[Big Cat]

Did something bad happen?

[Deutsch]

It's. How many?

[Dave Portnoy]

It's going to be about an hour till we get the camera that way

[Deutsch]

because Lucas, this guy looks concerned.

[Donnie]

Oh no.

[Big Cat]

That's a bad omen for Yukon.

[Deutsch]

Oh, onto the golf course.

[Titus]

Well, we said that last week too.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, they won. No, but who's fallen so far?

[Kyle]

Yukon.

[Big Cat]

Yukon fell twice.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

So it might be good.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay. Okay. Deutsch. Deutsch.

[Big Cat]

That is so much.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's been literally sitting under that, the. The silhouette of Illinois just drinking beers by himself for the last three hours.

[Big Cat]

This is his dream come true.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. So he is going to be drunk. So Lucas, just have your. I think deutsche is good on the. On the mic drop.

[Eddie]

He's already has 15 beers.

[Kate]

No, he has he already. What is his tally?

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Wait, you were tasked to help him?

[Dave Portnoy]

He came up and asked if anyone would like to help.

[Eddie]

I told him I would. Yeah, but it seemed like he. He had it. He's already had 15 today.

[Dave Portnoy]

Deutsch, come on in here real quick.

[Titus]

Gotta ask about the Titus text.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right. He is drunk, so. Deutsch, just, you know, remember you're live.

[Big Cat]

Yep, I'm good.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think you're good though.

[Big Cat]

What's your level of drunk?

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, no. Oh, we're going to put that down

[Eddie]

for a seven and a half.

[Big Cat]

About a five.

[Dave Portnoy]

Wait, you're not talking into the mic.

[Lucas]

Yeah, that could have happened at any point.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Lucas]

Okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right. So how many beers have you had?

[Lucas]

I think 16.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay. Starting when?

[Kate]

When did you start?

[Lucas]

9:30.

[Kate]

Oh my God.

[Lucas]

I wanted to start earlier, but I didn't know how. We were gonna be like filming stuff yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

So what Just said. What was the. Because Connecticut fell.

[Lucas]

Connecticut fell.

[Dave Portnoy]

And Connecticut fell already, though.

[Lucas]

It's fallen, like, seven times.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, I'm gonna get you. All right. Connecticut has fallen, so 16 beers. How many more do you have to go?

[Lucas]

Only, like, 21.

[Dave Portnoy]

I was gonna say that whatever number comes after only is gonna be a number we mortals would never want.

[Big Cat]

Mondays, man.

[Donnie]

Right.

[Lucas]

Yeah, I got a good jump on it. The biggest. I'm more upset about Connecticut falling.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Did you go out this weekend or did you lay low to prep for.

[Lucas]

Laid low. Did a full week sober. Drank 2 gallons of water a day. I went out Saturday just to watch the games, and I had two Diet Cokes and water.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Very good.

[Kate]

You seem good for 16.

[Lucas]

Yeah, I got. I got out of the woods. I'm back on track.

[Kate]

Do you feel sick or, like, are you good? Like, really good?

[Lucas]

No, I feel better than. Like I normally do.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[Lucas]

Like the perfect.

[Kate]

That's what I meant.

[Lucas]

Probably the perfect number.

[Big Cat]

Just to take the edge off.

[Lucas]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Do you think that Scottie Pippen's better than Hakeem Olajuan?

[Lucas]

No. You come across that?

[Dave Portnoy]

Lucas, do you have that?

[Big Cat]

You were up late. Was it last night?

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, and I guess.

[Lucas]

Yeah, it was last night.

[Dave Portnoy]

I gotta send it to Lucas. Lucas, the. On. I'll send you the text. The.

[Bosco]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Deutsch. Titus found you arguing about Hakeem Olajuwon in Instagram.

[Donnie]

Comments.

[Dave Portnoy]

And so you have. I've heard you argued on Hakeem's behalf before. You have. You're heavily invested in his cards.

[Lucas]

I have a lot of his cards.

[Dave Portnoy]

So you're just like. You have, say, 200, 300, Hakeem Elijah one cards. And the way that you're going to get the price to go up is just argue with people in comments sections about Hakeem.

[Lucas]

I don't care about the price of the cards. Yeah, if you put him in a better situation. If you put him in Tim Duncan situation. Yeah, if you put him in Kareem situation. How many championships does he have?

[Dave Portnoy]

Maybe more than two.

[Lucas]

Probably four.

[Dave Portnoy]

But you could do the opposite, too. Like, what if. If Michael Jordan ever retires to play baseball.

[Lucas]

Yeah, I don't like that one as much.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay. All right.

[Lucas]

I really don't like that one quite.

[Dave Portnoy]

As we pull it back up, Big

[Big Cat]

Cat's a big name in media. By him saying that that probably was like, a ding on your card's value.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that went down a few cents.

[Lucas]

I really don't care about the card's value. I just love Hakeem.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay? I do. I actually do too. By the way. I. I think the dream shake is one of my favor in any. Any Sport. Deep in 9394. Name the other All Stars. MJ and Pippen never won a title without an All Star. Teams can be deep without stars, man. Damn.

[Lucas]

The guy hit me with Mario. Ellie, you won't.

[Dave Portnoy]

You. You won't win a ring rang with just one player. You're typing like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of its mouth. Cassell and Hori have overachieved, but look at the gauntlet. How is someone type like a. A dog with.

[Eddie]

That's what they used to do to make it look like animals were talking to movies.

[Lucas]

No, he was just like kind of talking gibberish.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, got it.

[Lucas]

It just annoyed me and I was frustrated with the conversation, so I was trying to insult him.

[Dave Portnoy]

What time was it?

[Lucas]

Six p.m. maybe.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, okay. That's a normal argue about Hakeem Elijahan's legacy online time.

[Big Cat]

What was the. What was the post that this was under?

[Lucas]

I mean, I love Scotty Pippen, I really do. But to say he was like the best player from that era is crazy. What was the post that it was under between 90. I think it was. No, I think it was Scottie Pippen posting like a very nice shirtless photo.

[Big Cat]

It was a. So it was Scottie Pippen's Instagram?

[Lucas]

I believe so.

[Titus]

I believe so.

[Kyle]

And then.

[Lucas]

And he looked great. And I really, really like Scottie Pippen.

[Donnie]

Right.

[Lucas]

But to say that he was the best player from that era is crazy. From those three years that upset me.

[Big Cat]

Do you think Scotty saw these comments?

[Lucas]

I hope so.

[Titus]

No, cuz you like Scotty though.

[Lucas]

I do like Scotty, but if he thinks he's better than Hakeem for that four year window, he's out to lunch.

[Titus]

Yeah, but it's nothing against Scotty.

[Lucas]

There's nothing against Scotty.

[Kate]

Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

We're not trying to diss Scotty here.

[Big Cat]

And Scotty didn't claim that he was the best of that era, right?

[Lucas]

No, but I don't know, the other

[Dave Portnoy]

guy did, so that guy is a jerk.

[Big Cat]

So you saw a shirtless picture of Scotty Pippen. You went you. And you just started scrolling through the comments.

[Lucas]

Maybe one of them caught my eye.

[Big Cat]

What was the comment?

[Kate]

Wow, he looks.

[Lucas]

He looks phenomenal. And I love Scottie Pippen.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right. Again, we want it on the record,

[Big Cat]

Scotty, but how did you wind up in this situation?

[Lucas]

One of the comments must have just upset me.

[Dave Portnoy]

Are you actively looking for Hakeem Slander online?

[Lucas]

No, not at all.

[Dave Portnoy]

Could we potentially start to send you some?

[Chef]

You could.

[Dave Portnoy]

Three or four.

[Lucas]

Three or four times a year. I will get into it.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's it. Just three or four times a year. Just.

[Lucas]

If I see anything about centers that I don't agree with or 90s, like, just things I don't agree with.

[Dave Portnoy]

Three to four times a year is a very funny and specific quarterly.

[Lucas]

No, it's not a lot, but if I see something like, I will.

[Big Cat]

And is it always over Hakeem?

[Lucas]

It's always over Hakeem. I think that if he was in a better spot, he had some pretty

[Dave Portnoy]

good players on his team, though.

[Lucas]

Clyde Drexler and Barkley at the very tail end of their careers. Mario Elliott.

[Dave Portnoy]

Clyde wasn't all the way Barkley. Yes. I mean, Scotty was. Was a Rocket at the end of his career.

[Lucas]

Yeah, the tail end.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. I just love this. Yeah.

[Kate]

Hakeem won, like, some MVPs.

[Lucas]

Yes, he. 93, 94. He won the MVP. And then the next year.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's awesome. Probably best footwork of a big man ever. Like, I just remember what he played soccer as a kid. So he had, like, really good,

[Kyle]

you

[Lucas]

know, soccer and team handball.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Lucas]

My parents got me the vhs.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, his sideline, his baseline move where he would do the.

[Lucas]

You know, he was the dream.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

He would.

[Dave Portnoy]

He would fake one way and then fade away like the best. But, yeah, we gotta. Keem's legacy.

[Titus]

I'm trying to find the bracket. He got disrespected hard on that show.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh.

[Titus]

And I was on it.

[Chef]

I know.

[Titus]

Now I feel terrible.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay. Do you feel terrible?

[Kate]

I'm gonna say something, and you have to tell me if it's disrespectful toward Hakeem or not.

[Lucas]

That's fine.

[Kate]

He's not top 10 of all time.

[Lucas]

He's definitely top 10 of all time.

[Kate]

He's worse than Kevin Durant.

[Lucas]

No, he's not. He's better than Kevin Durant.

[Kate]

He's worse than Tim Duncan.

[Lucas]

He's better than Tim Duncan for sure. So, yeah, if you put Tim Dunk. If you put Hakeem in Tim Duncan situation, he wins more championships. Like, who did Durant win one with? That wasn't an all Star. And Golden State was, like, already very solidified before he got there. Hakeem won with Kenny the Jet, Mario, Ellie, Sam Cassell. Those guys overachieved. But I don't think you could plug

[Dave Portnoy]

in this man had 16 beers in the last two and a half hours.

[Big Cat]

Very, very defending.

[Kyle]

Well, this.

[Chef]

Well, this.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Maybe a little slow talking, but other than that, you're. You're so fun.

[Kate]

Makes.

[Chef]

No.

[Dave Portnoy]

I get.

[Lucas]

I feel like I get more comfortable.

[Kate]

Yeah, I'll have another 16.

[Bosco]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, by the way, we have the video. Lucas, can you play it? We gotta add Lucas to the Yak chat just for today, which sucks. Yeah, I don't want to do that. Che, can you send Lucas that video that TJ Just sent us? It's the moment Connecticut fell. This is heartbreaking.

[Lucas]

I need a box cutter, you know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, no.

[Deutsch]

You tried to save someone got seriously hurt.

[Big Cat]

Look at him.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's frozen.

[Big Cat]

Do you think if you weren't 16 deep, you would have been able to save that?

[Lucas]

No, it just happened so many times in the last five days.

[Big Cat]

But I wouldn't say it happened fast.

[Dave Portnoy]

Explaining that to someone, like, what happened to that man?

[Big Cat]

Connecticut has fallen.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. His beat. His outline of estate made out of beers has fallen for the third time this weekend. And he's just had 16 beers because Illinois. He made Illinois a little too big.

[Big Cat]

Illinois was too big.

[Lucas]

Illinois was the perfect size.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, actually, Illinois was the perfect size. Connecticut's too big.

[Lucas]

Illinois was a perfect shield.

[Titus]

It was.

[Lucas]

That would have held up for the whole year. Connecticut's been troublesome.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, well, so get back to drinking. Maybe we'll check in with you later on. And tonight or tomorrow, you're going to drink the. The losing state and then we'll put out on merch. I talked to Allison and Pilar. We got to put out the undrinkable. So do we do undrinkable with the state

[Big Cat]

Deutsch? What do you think?

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean, we're going to probably. Let's just realistically set expectations here. It's going to be about like 50 sold. But that's okay. I want.

[Big Cat]

Oh, I disagree.

[Dave Portnoy]

You think it's gonna be more. Yeah, it might be if Michigan wins

[Titus]

and it blends into Dave's collection that he's going to drop. It could.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Deutsch]

I like the shape of the state on the back in cans.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Deutsch]

Like the undrink.

[Big Cat]

One can with.

[Dave Portnoy]

Actually, we. Now that I'm thinking about. Eddie, your good point. Like, these are two pretty big barstool states.

[Titus]

Yes.

[Dave Portnoy]

And big barstool fan bases. And we will have stuff after they

[Kate]

are a little pompous for like, be.

[Dante]

And. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Connecticut or Michigan.

[Kate]

Connecticut's fan bases.

[Dave Portnoy]

Connecticut's not Michigan.

[Kate]

Is they would rock some joke shirt.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate]

Okay. Michigan wouldn't.

[Dave Portnoy]

Michigan would not.

[Big Cat]

I think merch bonus.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I think. I think we could get it.

[Big Cat]

I could use a little walking relic.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Lucas]

Walking around money.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, one last thing.

[Lucas]

Yep.

[Dave Portnoy]

I realized this weekend in watching. And we'll talk about this weekend, but we went to St. Elmo's on Friday night, and it was. If you've never been to St. Elmo's, one of the most famous steak restaurants. Definitely an indie. Maybe. You know, the shrimp cocktail. Famous private room, beautiful setup. KC And Dana were sitting on one end of the table. They were just like a drunk version of the old two old guys and muppets where they were never part of the conversation. They were just kind of observing. KCK was just like, burping so loud in the middle of dinner. That was just like, what is going on? But it made me realize you. Dana, kick. I need you guys to start tracking your ounces. I want to do an analytical breakdown

[Lucas]

of the ounces you drink weekly, monthly.

[Dave Portnoy]

I want all the number. I think it would be so interesting to be like, how many. How many ounces of beer have you drank analy? And by interesting, I mean about a five minute segment on this show.

[Lucas]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Just a quick breakdown.

[Lucas]

Yeah, I could track that.

[Dave Portnoy]

But I think I need my beer guys to start tracking like. Like someone tracks their steps.

[Titus]

His burps were hitting you on the other end of the table, dude.

[Dave Portnoy]

He was burping so loud. It was crazy. I said to him, I was like, katic, what do you like? It's. I'm not saying, like, everyone burps, but to burp, like, to belch. It was a belch.

[Big Cat]

Oh, a belt.

[Dave Portnoy]

A belch at a state. At a dinner table is kind of a crazy move.

[Big Cat]

Belch implies odor.

[Dave Portnoy]

I was on the other side, so I don't know, but it was so loud. That's a crazy move, right?

[Big Cat]

I think so, yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah. At Elmo's.

[Dave Portnoy]

And there was multiple.

[Big Cat]

Multiple belches, but they didn't seem intentional. Right.

[Reed]

They were just.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, I don't know.

[Titus]

Sometimes loud burps do sneak up on you, though.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Like, oh, I didn't know that'd be that loud or else I would have concealed it more.

[Eddie]

Not that often, though.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, there was a moment, too, where Dave, like, we. The private room had, like, a minimum, and we were far off of it. And so, like, they were like the last hour of dinner. They were just like. Like, bring us every beer.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And so how many belchers it was

[Dave Portnoy]

definitely two, possibly three.

[Big Cat]

I was expecting more, but, dude, they were so loud.

[Kate]

But did you reinforce it with laughter?

[Dave Portnoy]

No, I said, kid. What was that? Dude, he's like.

[Kate]

Yeah, he couldn't help it.

[Deutsch]

Yeah, but also, private room.

[Dave Portnoy]

It. It.

[Deutsch]

I feel like it's a treat of a private room that you can belt.

[Dave Portnoy]

True. Okay, good for you.

[Deutsch]

Like, it's a luxury of a private room.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, George, get back out there.

[Kate]

He's ready.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Portnoy]

Surprisingly with it.

[Big Cat]

That's. Oh, no, no, no.

[Eddie]

What happened to his neck?

[Big Cat]

He's just running, man.

[Eddie]

There had to have been a better picture.

[Big Cat]

That's the one I sent.

[Titus]

That's your dog?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kate]

What's going on here?

[Big Cat]

There.

[Chef]

No ears.

[Dave Portnoy]

What is.

[Big Cat]

Where are the ears?

[Dave Portnoy]

Back.

[Kate]

Is.

[Dave Portnoy]

Is he a circle?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I love him.

[Deutsch]

He's perfect.

[Big Cat]

But he has. He has really good teeth.

[Titus]

Perfect.

[Big Cat]

Straight. Yeah, Good teeth.

[Eddie]

That looks like a Pokemon.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. You know, it's an ugly dog. If you have to comment.

[Big Cat]

That's not an ugly dog. You said you were gonna be nice.

[Dave Portnoy]

I've seen your dog. Your dog is not ugly. That picture is bad.

[Big Cat]

It's not a great photo.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's a bad picture of your dog.

[Chef]

Who is.

[Big Cat]

I like that photo.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he's. He looks like a. What was it?

[Titus]

Furbies.

[Big Cat]

He looks like a Furby. A little.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Get in here. All right, great. Yeah, we gotta get Tate in here, too.

[Big Cat]

Was that a comedian that crashed your dinner?

[Bosco]

Something.

[Dave Portnoy]

An actor or something.

[Big Cat]

He was an actor.

[Kate]

Oh, that guy.

[Bosco]

The audacity on somebody. Somebody else's dinner.

[Donnie]

Thank you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, thank you. It was so crazy and cringeworthy and I. I don't know if it fully conveyed. But the problem was Dave is. And I said this to his face, so I have no problem saying here. Dave is maybe going a little senile. Just like a tiny bit. And so this guy comes into our private room and. And our security jumps up and kicks him out. And Dave goes, no, no. I think that was like the house magician. And I was like, what, Dave? The guy's in Michigan gear.

[Big Cat]

Kate, have you seen this?

[Deutsch]

I. I had a hard time watching because I figured.

[Big Cat]

I figured it would kill you.

[Dave Portnoy]

He also told me to shut.

[Kate]

He told you to shut the hell up.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. I had people being like, how do you let another man say. I'm like, what are you talking about? How do you.

[Kate]

What should you have done?

[Dave Portnoy]

It's a crazy guy. What do I care?

[Chef]

Going to him.

[Dave Portnoy]

No way. No way. The fact that he thought it was

[Kate]

a house is That a staple of any institution? A restaurant? A house magician.

[Bosco]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You've. You've done this?

[Big Cat]

I've seen magicians at times, but what

[Deutsch]

did he say when he first came in? He.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're just a regular guy. Guys, stop. Oh, shut up.

[Donnie]

Stop.

[Dave Portnoy]

I live in Los Angeles List.

[Kate]

Dave Poroy is my idol.

[Dave Portnoy]

Obviously. Cuz I went to Michigan.

[Bosco]

Look at him.

[Dave Portnoy]

Class 2016. I'm a beatbox. This is Dave. Dave, wake up. Then he spit all over our table.

[Bosco]

He had no plan. It's brutal.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes. Pretty good.

[Bosco]

But he did like six seconds of it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Bosco]

Then he's like, I got no plan. It just.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then he came back again.

[Deutsch]

This wasn't the second time.

[Dave Portnoy]

That was the first time. It was three times. Because he came in, got kicked out. We brought him back because Dave said he was a house magician and we're like, no, Dave, you're losing your mind. Turns out he wasn't. And then he came back another time.

[Big Cat]

What was the third time?

[Dave Portnoy]

Third time he just car. He. He's an actual actor. He was in a Ben Affleck and.

[Deutsch]

What.

[Titus]

He was in a lot of stuff.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's got.

[Titus]

He's got a Wikipedia.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Score.

[Dave Portnoy]

He has his own.

[Titus]

Yes. And there's like. It's not like a little short.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Titus]

IMDb. It's pretty.

[Eddie]

Is there a scandal site?

[Big Cat]

So what was his end goal here?

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know. It was so bizarre.

[Titus]

He's got to have horrendous scaries.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Was he drunk?

[Deutsch]

Yeah. Was he?

[Dave Portnoy]

Had to have been. Can you guys back me up?

[Kyle]

It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was so cringe worthy. It was so.

[Bosco]

I don't think he was drunk. Weirdly. I think that's his.

[Kate]

Confident.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like he's going to do.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Can you guys back me up on Cadix burps?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah. Horrendous Far side of the table.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

They were loud, like belches. Yeah.

[Kyle]

But there were beers flowing on that end of the table. Like, I see why he was burping.

[Dave Portnoy]

So good week. Great weekend.

[Kyle]

A plus, right? About A plus.

[Dave Portnoy]

A plus.

[Kyle]

A plus.

[Bosco]

It's a lot of fun.

[Dave Portnoy]

What did you learn, Tate, from following Bosco around?

[Chef]

I.

[Kyle]

He's gonna get mad when I say this, but I truly mean this as no compliment moment or as. As a complete start again. I truly mean this. He is one of the funniest people, if not the funniest person I've ever met in my entire life. But I do compare him and this is where he's gonna get mad.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, no.

[Kyle]

To. To a. To a minsy situation where it's the. It's the things.

[Titus]

Oh, my.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no. Tate.

[Kyle]

This could not be. This could not be just a note. This could not be more of a compliment. The you do on a second to second basis is hilarious. To the point where you always, like, joke with Dave and Dan. Oh, you want a guy? You want a guy? You should have a guy. Because you. The interactions you have with everyone from an Uber driver to just me is the funniest I've ever seen. So you cannot take that as you.

[Bosco]

No, no, no, I get it.

[Kyle]

Like, he. There's a couple things that he did that just. For example, when you're talking about Illinois, like, hierarchy. We saw Brett Bielema walking down the street. He didn't give a. He's like, nah, we got things.

[Dave Portnoy]

The head football coach.

[Kyle]

We saw Brad Underwood's kid. He sprinted across traffic, almost caused a car accident, all this, and then ran over like that.

[Bosco]

But he's one of my guys. Bielema, like, I don't need him.

[Kyle]

Doesn't give a. Yeah. The. The Coach Calipari thing where he was so concerned. He got the whale. That was. That's as big of a whale as you can get.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

To get full credit for it. He was so concerned that you would figure out that it was Cal. But every person we ran into, from the Nevada video coordinator to the Southeast Missouri State, like, Dobo, he would go. Yeah, he would go. He would go. You hear what I got? Yeah, I got cow graphics pre made.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

He's like, how did Dan figure out about Cap?

[Dave Portnoy]

This happens every time with Bosco. Because he was like, I'm not telling Dave and Dan that it's Cal because they'll, like, prepare for it.

[Bosco]

No, it's not that. It's that if it falls through.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, I. You.

[Bosco]

You had to prepare.

[Dave Portnoy]

I had multiple people reach out to me on Friday afternoon, being like, bosco got Cal. Because you tell everyone, and then you're shocked when I find out.

[Kyle]

I didn't get this on camera. But he walks into the hotel. White Boy Rick is sitting at the bar, and he does the. The fish and the reel in. And White boy Rick runs over. He's like, what are you doing? And Rick's like, dude, you just reeled me in. He goes, I wasn't reeling you in. I was showing you that I'm whale hunting. You hear who I got?

[Dante]

Cal.

[Kyle]

And he's like, how Dan find out about Cal. Yeah, he told everyone except for Dan.

[Big Cat]

So telling everybody something about what their plans are. Who does that remind you of?

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Bosco]

All right.

[Dave Portnoy]

That was actually my favorite part of the dinner, because the dinner was just like an. It was just an episode of Pick Them. We just did pick them for two hours. But Dave and I were being like. We were. We were antagonizing Bosco the whole dinner. And. And he knows that. And we were having fun. We're doing a little pick and roll. The maddest Bosco got was at Brandon, actually, because when Jack McCarthy said that, Bosco's like, miny. Bosco kept claiming that Brandon didn't weigh in fast enough. He just kept on saying, where. Why didn't you weigh in?

[Chef]

And that's why.

[Kyle]

You're hilarious.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Brandon weighed in, like, 30 seconds.

[Big Cat]

What did Brandon have to think about?

[Dave Portnoy]

He. Yeah, right. He didn't weigh in fast.

[Bosco]

Should have weighed in.

[Dave Portnoy]

He just kept on saying, why don't you weigh in?

[Bosco]

I think Tate's biggest struggle over the weekend was that I just. That people kept. He kept being like, are we gonna eat? We gonna eat? I'm like, no. I run on emotions and phone numbers. Like, if I. If you make me sit down, I'll eat something. But no, we got shit we did not eat.

[Dave Portnoy]

And how many phone numbers did you get?

[Bosco]

It's close to 30, I think.

[Dave Portnoy]

And. And again, just so everyone knows, like, these phone numbers do nothing for bars.

[Dante]

Nothing.

[Kyle]

Mike Greer put it in a. In a great way. At the Pumps party, Rico would call us over, like. And obviously, none of us are important. None of us are celebrities by any means, but he would call us over and introduce us to people that the. It should have gone the other way.

[Dave Portnoy]

He'd be like, take.

[Kyle]

Get over here, get over here. And he'd be like, this is the southeast Missouri status, right? Student man, Right. And Mike Greer is like, if anything introduces.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, the other way, he's the best.

[Bosco]

It was a lot of fun.

[Big Cat]

The Jewish coaches meeting or the. What was that? A dinner?

[Kyle]

JCA brunch.

[Big Cat]

Was there, like, prayer and stuff?

[Bosco]

Wasn't a prayer. There was a lot of good messages. It's one of the most impressive things I've been to in five years. Yeah, probably the most. When they started at Delhi, there was like, six. Six of them. I don't know, 25 guys. It's now like 400. They have some of the most prominent jobs. They cut down the nets. They had three guys in the Final Four last year. Good messages of, like, what they were doing.

[Dave Portnoy]

Who.

[Bosco]

Who's advocating for him?

[Dave Portnoy]

Just.

[Bosco]

It was. It was pretty impressive.

[Dave Portnoy]

You know, the central tweet of this

[Big Cat]

central tweet is what?

[Chef]

So.

[Dave Portnoy]

So. So I retweeted Sento every time I saw it.

[Kyle]

It's. It's all part of these documentary. Like Sento is officially a part of it. But oh yeah, Rico. Rico knew that the JCA would be. It could be like a touchy subject. So we were very respect. It was the best event we went to by far. But he. He's like, hey, you got to text Quigs like, Sentel can't handle this. And I said, and then live events.

[Dave Portnoy]

Lisa texted me because thought it was real.

[Kyle]

She thought it was real. And she was like, not okay with this. I said, that's quicks.

[Titus]

How's your Uber rating?

[Bosco]

Fine. He kept asking about that. A lot of it was my own problems.

[Kyle]

That guy had a flat tire. Bosco, you know he had a flat.

[Bosco]

Oh yeah. Guy had a flat and we had to make the show. We. We were going to be okay, but he gets out, he checks it. We get in and you hear like. Like, it's. I'm like, you're good.

[Eddie]

Like, you're good.

[Bosco]

Like, let's go. Like, yeah, we almost. Thursday, we almost caused the car accident.

[Kyle]

We.

[Bosco]

You were with me. I don't wait like time is money out there for the weekend. So I got shit to do, people to meet. I'll go across and just. And make them wait. The guy hit the brakes in the rain and skidded the guy behind him out of. Then skid. They almost crashed into each other walking the street. Jack was like, can you please stop?

[Kyle]

A legitimate, major car accident. It was. It was crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay, no worries.

[Kyle]

This is the flattest tire I've ever seen.

[Bosco]

Yeah, it was.

[Donnie]

It was bad.

[Kyle]

And Bosco hit and you just like,

[Dave Portnoy]

dude, you have to keep driving.

[Kyle]

He just kept telling him it was not a flat.

[Bosco]

I said it was okay. I didn't see it actually.

[Dante]

I never got out.

[Kyle]

You could hear it.

[Dave Portnoy]

So, yeah, that's flat. And you're just like it. Yeah, way to go.

[Big Cat]

What about the shoe throw? They.

[Bosco]

What? They didn't show selective editing. Was that Mulcahy Jack and him like, bodied me out. The shoe fell off. And then like, they weren't letting me get to it to pick it up because they were making fun of me because there was a white stain on there from probably dust or us walking through or whatever. Who knows? But yeah, I just threw it. That was.

[Kate]

Gotta throw it.

[Chef]

Yes.

[Dave Portnoy]

But it was Great. Great weekend. And then to follow it up, I think we can announce it now. Bosco's going to Vegas on the 18th is the start of barstool spring break, and Tate is going to document Bosco. And then who's documenting? You?

[Kyle]

No, Meek. No, Meek.

[Dave Portnoy]

Phil's documenting Bosco and Tate is documenting Meek. Phil documenting Bosco. Whoa.

[Kyle]

That's a Dave Portnoy idea.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. So go ahead.

[Kate]

What are you looking to do there? Like, what is your goal? What are your goals?

[Bosco]

Vegas sounds like it's gonna be awesome.

[Kate]

Just party and have fun.

[Bosco]

Yeah.

[Kate]

No networking or no.

[Bosco]

No network.

[Kate]

What are you worried about

[Bosco]

having to be in the same room as Phil?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a big worry. So we can announce the cast right now. The go ahead. So this is the. This is breaking news. The cast for barstool spring break in Vegas in 10, I think. Yeah, the 18th. So they're going to go for an entire week, and it's going to be similar to this, the summer summer house. So here's the cast. You got it. Lucas sent you the graphic. Well, one second. All right, let me do the robot. Let me do the rollback. Read where's. Where are you? And. Well, we'll talk about it. Roebuck Roeback activewear. Best fit, best feel. Spring is here, which means Robacks azalea collection is back. Your favorite azalea design in several colors. New designs, new products. Secondly, Roback has launched two new products that you all should know about. First, their tailwind sports shirt. Might be the most comfortable. Nice shirt out there. It's made for date night. Perfect combo for looking casual but nice and still be comfortable. They also released a sweater polo that we are here for. Great stretch fabric, making it very comfortable and breathable. Use code YAK for 20% off your first purchase. That's 20% off all polos, hoodies, sports shirts, and more. Use code yak and head over to Rhoba a C k dot com. All right, here's the cast. All right, so here it is. It is Moby Smelly, Mike Kick, Ronnie Deutsch, Dante, Rico Bosco, Nikki Smokes, Annika, Brianna, Danny Jackal, and Ella Griff.

[Big Cat]

That's a.

[Dave Portnoy]

What a cat.

[Big Cat]

That is a good crew.

[Dave Portnoy]

What a cast.

[Big Cat]

Now, Rico, if you had to pick one enemy and one best friend from that graphic that you think could be that. That could happen.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Yeah. Who are you going to have an alliance with?

[Big Cat]

Alliance and foe?

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know.

[Bosco]

K gets a little handsy. Like he's a shovey guy. Like, so you don't like that He's a big dude. He's just a big dude. So I guess I'd worry about him. And then alliance. Probably go.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know.

[Bosco]

Probably. Probably go. Big dogs.

[Dave Portnoy]

Who knows?

[Bosco]

I don't know. Brianna.

[Big Cat]

Brianna. Alliance.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Have you. Have you and Dante interacted much?

[Bosco]

Yeah, he took us. He hooked us up with dinner last night.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Of course.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Chef]

What?

[Titus]

Nothing.

[Kyle]

Say it.

[Bosco]

Ed, what's up?

[Titus]

We have a problem here. Big cat.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Titus]

Like, I feel like we are in the situation where I'm sure it's happening. Like, when someone asks you for a reservation before they look at open table,

[Dave Portnoy]

it's like, yeah, we doing. Yeah.

[Titus]

Like, there was Res's all day Boston.

[Dave Portnoy]

I agree.

[Titus]

Right?

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, I agree.

[Bosco]

It's more a recommendation.

[Titus]

Oh, you were like, we need a spot. Seven o'.

[Dave Portnoy]

Clock.

[Titus]

I was like, bro, I just looked at open table. Swift and stones, open 6, 45, 7, 7, 15.

[Bosco]

It was more recommendation. You know me, I speak fast. Half second.

[Titus]

Okay, okay. All right. That's fair.

[Dave Portnoy]

I agree, though, Eddie.

[Titus]

You know what I mean?

[Bosco]

Yeah, you're right. It was more.

[Dave Portnoy]

We got maybe a little bit of a handout culture going on. That's like.

[Titus]

I think people are maybe looking for that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Like, I don't. My wife actually gets mad at me because I don't like to get handouts because then I have to give something. You know what I mean? Like, when it comes to reservations stuff, she's like, we could go to any restaurant. Why don't you just ask? Like, they'd all. And I'm like, but I don't want to do that. Yeah, it's like, just be a regular person. Go to open table. Yeah.

[Titus]

I'm sorry.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's okay.

[Big Cat]

I thought it was Dante's actual account that posted. He is risen in front of the cross. Danny, was that you that made that?

[Eddie]

That was me.

[Big Cat]

I thought it was Dante that did that.

[Kyle]

He's back.

[Big Cat]

He's back on social media.

[Dave Portnoy]

Speaking of which, Dante. So we've. We've talked about it, but we have the Barstool Chicago Mini Golf Open this week, tomorrow night. So it's. It's going to be a Ryder cup style, three rounds starting on Wednesday. It's going to be the old people in the office 35 and up versus the young people in the office 35 and below. Tomorrow night, they're doing the qualifying for the 35 and below because we have so many more younger people. The funny wrinkle with this Though. Is that part of the qualifying group on. On Barcelona After Dark is Dante and Mincy. They're qualifying for the young group, which is perfect. Dante being like, I'm 28.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dante. So that's gonna be very fun.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

We put. Lucas and I planned the whole thing.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

That's gonna be funny. Hank texted yesterday, and he was like, hey. Or he asked Lucas, is this more about golf or more about Barcelona After Dark? And you're just gonna have to figure out tomorrow.

[Dave Portnoy]

I love that. I love.

[Bosco]

Good.

[Titus]

So.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Bosco]

What are your other takeaways from the weekend? It's the whole time we spent together ever.

[Kyle]

I had a good time. I. I would like to think that you realized that it was, like, a great thing for both of us. Like, I'm not blind to the fact that I got to then go to St. Elmo's and got to go to the final four and sit in the suite and everything. But also, if anyone sees it, other than just an absolute 50. 50, that's like the ice protest that never would have.

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[Kyle]

I seen the light of day. The NATO's thing that everything was. You're hilarious. And then you need someone with you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bosco]

I went in open arms.

[Dave Portnoy]

We're finding out how to capitalize on our eccentric brains.

[Kyle]

I do. You talked about. You talked to Deutsch before this. About ounces.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I'm not saying we have to do this, but I do think the. The plan is there. That obviously we can send some people on trips and document and. And get impressions. The next one has to be something with Deutsch, Katic and Dana.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Like, people are saying, like, I don't. I'm not saying we have to go over there, but, like, October Fest. Like, those are hilarious.

[Big Cat]

I. I'm. I'm intrigued by Deutsch. He has an apartment now, but there have been so many people that I hear in passing that, like, oh, Deutsch slept on my couch last night. Deutsche Deutsch slept at Dana's a couple nights. He slept at Goldfingers.

[Kate]

I think I'm meeting people who have

[Big Cat]

hosted outside of the office.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes.

[Kate]

He likes couches.

[Big Cat]

He's a. He likes couches that aren't in home.

[Kate]

He's a creature of habit. So he'll use one person's couch for a little bit and then regretfully go to the next.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I don't know if he sleeps at home.

[Dave Portnoy]

We got to get to the bottom of that.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I want to know if. If in the office, if. Or outside, if Deutsch has ever slept at your couch, let us know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

What are your takeaways, Bosco?

[Bosco]

It was good. It was. It was really, really, really good. I mean, I was. You know, that's what you do. You run. I. People were that. I know. Obviously we're going to Tate and being like, he's like the Energizer Bunny, him. Like you're just running around all weekend. You kind of saw how it's gonna go. This is some of the only times you get to see these people.

[Kyle]

So do you talk about the. You know.

[Bosco]

Yeah, there is one thing. We had three hour car ride, me, him and Jack yesterday in the Benzo. There's not a lot of parties that weekend with sponsors and, like, I know

[Dave Portnoy]

exactly where you're going. No.

[Bosco]

2027 Bosco Bash.

[Dave Portnoy]

No. Oh, Bosco Bash.

[Big Cat]

Maybe.

[Dave Portnoy]

What were you. I thought you were saying, like, barstool hosts a party. No, no.

[Bosco]

You have to cut the inaugural ribbon and then you can leave.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Bosco]

Just the one year we talk virtually. No, you're going to be there. Just come and cut.

[Dave Portnoy]

We got the big scissors.

[Bosco]

Cut the ribbon.

[Big Cat]

But they already have the scissors.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, they have this.

[Kate]

Oh, you already planned. All right, it's happening.

[Bosco]

No, the scissors were from a Planet Fitness thing in New York. We have big scissors.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay, so then, yeah, you got to do a party if we already have big scissors.

[Kyle]

He pitched ideas for the Bosco Bash for three hours. It was.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Where's it at next? Here.

[Kyle]

Detroit.

[Big Cat]

Okay, can you tell us an idea?

[Dave Portnoy]

Blob wall.

[Bosco]

Everybody comes, we have a big white wall. They draw it on the thing.

[Big Cat]

Draw what on the draw?

[Bosco]

Play on the wall.

[Big Cat]

Oh, okay.

[Bosco]

I like the resume. Box of resumes. Box of merch. But ultimately, it's a cool part. Jack was like, we need a cool party, too.

[Dave Portnoy]

So I'd be fully, fully in on this. Under 1 1, sure. What? You don't even.

[Bosco]

Go ahead.

[Dave Portnoy]

You can't have your phone.

[Kyle]

That is a great. That would have changed. That would have taken you from 75 million to 750 million.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm gonna have your phone.

[Bosco]

How so?

[Kyle]

Because you were. You were as gracious and you never once were like, yo, yo, yo. No, but you did have me on notifications the whole time and were aware of what was going on. You were great. No phone.

[Dave Portnoy]

No phone at the Bosco Bash.

[Bosco]

What if one of my guys got to get in?

[Dave Portnoy]

We'll have a sign. We'll have a sign in sheet that they can. They can leave their number for you. We can have a Bosco Journal. They can leave a note and a number for you so you can still collect numbers. No phone at the Bosco Bash. Everyone else can have a phone. You can.

[Bosco]

Why, Weiss?

[Dave Portnoy]

Because I want you living in the moment of Bosco bash.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Kyle]

We were thinking maybe you know how, like, at a high school basketball game, it's like tickets are eight bucks, but if you bring a canned food or a toy to the toy drive, you get in free. We're gonna do admission. Unless he brings a jumpsuit to Bosco. That's a good way to collect jumpsuits.

[Dave Portnoy]

A jumpsuit and a blob set.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I like that.

[Bosco]

There's not a lot of parties. Like, Thursday night's big party night. Saturdays, kind of figure out yourself. Friday there's some socials and stuff like that, but there's not really like a.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right. Bosco Bash, Big time party. I'm in. I'm in for it.

[Bosco]

I think we. I think we get a lot of. We get a lot of pub.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but it's coaches only.

[Bosco]

No, like friends of the pro.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Bosco]

I mean, that's going to be. Who's encouraged for it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Bosco]

Know about it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kyle]

But there were some idea, like, coaches. He wants a board of directors. Danny Sprinkle on the board of directors. But also maybe some things. Like if the Pistons don't play that night, can the dance team come by to. There was a lot of coaches with just polos at this. At this pump party. We got to make it a little.

[Dave Portnoy]

Trying to get more chicks.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Bosco]

I think that's what makes people go to parties.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay. Some of your coaches need chicks there. Is that what you're saying?

[Big Cat]

Wouldn't say that.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm just. I'm just let him let loose.

[Bosco]

You know, they watch somebody speak like, It's a.

[Donnie]

Let's.

[Dave Portnoy]

Are you gonna speak?

[Bosco]

I would. I don't know. Dave has mentioned that he doesn't like people being on the mic a lot.

[Dave Portnoy]

You might be.

[Bosco]

Yeah. Maybe I'll just do an opening welcome. Like, pump the people up.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Bosco]

Quick whistle blow.

[Titus]

It's your bash.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. It is your best.

[Kate]

It's a bash.

[Dave Portnoy]

The Bosco bash.

[Kyle]

Well, it was a Bosco brunch until other people got in his ear. The Bosco.

[Bosco]

We wanted to start low, obviously. You don't know how many people are going to come. It's going to be super stressful when you're like, the door's open.

[Dave Portnoy]

There's like. And you're not gonna have a phone on you. Yeah.

[Bosco]

Hey, Come through So, all right.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I'm in.

[Kate]

Nice. Who from the weekend?

[Bosco]

Whether we're gonna be positive about it or like.

[Chef]

No.

[Dave Portnoy]

God, no.

[Bosco]

What does that mean?

[Dave Portnoy]

Because, I mean, if we're gonna make content out of it, like, I have to.

[Kyle]

You.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, you have the Bosco Bash. Dave and I are going to treat it like the Bash Bosco. Oh, no,

[Kate]

you got to change the name.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Bash. I don't understand.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, if possible, Bash. I came here to Bash, boss.

[Bosco]

If it can make money, what's the problem?

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't think it will make money. Yeah, sure.

[Kyle]

He was thinking more like the BET Gala presented by.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah. No, I love this idea, but I'm just saying, like, you can't. You know how this works.

[Kate]

Would you ever be open to having a roast done on you?

[Bosco]

I think there's one already in the works.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Bosco]

Fortunately, Central. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Bosco. I'm not saying I'm gonna be negative. Like, I'm gonna make fun of it, and then when it goes off, I'm like, great job.

[Bosco]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. That's like how for everything that's a story. Like, what. What fun is it if I'm like, hey, Bosco Bash, this is gonna be so great and, like, not bust your balls about it.

[Bosco]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. It's gonna be great content.

[Bosco]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But Big Cat, would you be bummed if only, like, 11 people showed up?

[Dave Portnoy]

I would be over the moon.

[Bosco]

I think we could get more than 11 people. There were people.

[Dave Portnoy]

I want. I want the fucking.

[Bosco]

We go to the convention, people come.

[Dave Portnoy]

I want the Howard video guy, the Sam Houston State water boy. No one else.

[Kyle]

You'll get him.

[Dave Portnoy]

He.

[Kyle]

He keeps asking about takeaways. The guy has motion between, like, juco, naia up to like, low, low, low mid major.

[Bosco]

But even though I was justified, know some people notes I could hold court with golden and Pearl.

[Kyle]

Yes, He. He was Bosco. This is all complimentary, but I'm saying if you walk through the pumps, party people are stopping you just as much or stopping them. But he. And then he'll get like, hey, come over here. This is the student manager for Kansas. And then where I say he's funny and he doesn't even necessarily realize it is. Then he'll turn around and he'll go, bill, self check mark.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

It's like, that was not Bill's help.

[Bosco]

No, I'm eventually get them.

[Titus]

I will say feel them as. No, there's no reason.

[Kyle]

He like. Did you see the graphic going around yesterday? Dusty May was a student manager at usc.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

What if one day one of these guys. Bosco is. Then his guy is coaching in the national championship. He puts in work.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's the goal.

[Kate]

So do you keep up conversation? Like you talk to these like even like. Yeah, to student managers and the videographers.

[Bosco]

Talk to them.

[Kate]

What do you like, say, like, what's going on? Like, happy Friday.

[Dave Portnoy]

You talk.

[Bosco]

Oops, a little bit.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, yeah, maybe embarrassing level.

[Kyle]

Kyle.

[Dave Portnoy]

He wishes everyone in his phone happy Father's Day.

[Kate]

Oh, you're doing like the holiday.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that kind of stuff.

[Kyle]

Kyle, when do you think. So he got Calipari, which again, whale.

[Kate]

Right.

[Kyle]

When do you think the first text was sent? Not to Calipari, but the.

[Lucas]

The.

[Kyle]

The Calipari son. He kept up with him since this date. What do you think it was?

[Kate]

So you got Calipari's son's number?

[Bosco]

I already had him, but I had the idea to get Calipari at the live show. Okay, and when did that process start?

[Kyle]

And he showed me. And it was not like, hey, in this long can he do it? It was check in, check in, check in. Haha. Just saw they won. Maybe he won't be able to do this because he'll be playing in it. He kept on this whale, but for like a year. I mean, he did it at Christmas. He's Christmas.

[Kate]

It's Christmas.

[Big Cat]

And how did you get the son's contact info?

[Bosco]

We used to rip the dad. He came on bench mob and then became friendly with it. He's a good sport about it. So we became friends with him. He's a great kid.

[Dave Portnoy]

Actually. Brad's the best. Yeah, he's the one who has the tattoo earned, not given. Oh, Calpar's son.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Bosco]

So it's great too.

[Dante]

I like it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Maybe there's another week.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right.

[Bosco]

Me and Jerry real.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's a real tattoo.

[Kyle]

It's great.

[Big Cat]

No, yeah, he's.

[Bosco]

Me and Jerry have house call.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right. Good job, Bosco.

[Donnie]

Thanks.

[Kate]

Good week, guys.

[Dave Portnoy]

Also, we should mention. Oh, how are you with Lucas right now?

[Bosco]

Fine.

[Dave Portnoy]

I never. It's whatever. Okay, all right. That's not fine. No, I'm just asking. I was just asking.

[Kyle]

He wants to mend the. He truly wants to mend the relationship.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Kyle]

I know that for a fact.

[Big Cat]

Lucas, don't say that. Yeah, I'm not saying it. Personal, Luke.

[Dave Portnoy]

Lucas, you still a skill personal scale thing to say.

[Kyle]

Oh, has he talked to you yet? Lucas?

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[Reed]

Wait, can we get Bosco's stance on Reed being a scale?

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, I've told him. I was like, he's good, so he's. That was my fault. Also, we should mention that Tate spilled an entire glass of wine in my lap. Yeah, it was really bad in my lap.

[Big Cat]

Last place you'd want that.

[Kate]

That's a night.

[Big Cat]

Ruin.

[Kate]

Or Tate.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, my God. Was it a direct shot?

[Kyle]

I've never had.

[Big Cat]

Were you, like, sopping?

[Dave Portnoy]

I was. My. I, I. I had good reflexes and, like, did one of these really quick, but all the way down my jeans, shoes.

[Kyle]

I've never had more anxiety.

[Kate]

That's a move where, like, you pretend to seize afterwards.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah. Well, he also would. Tate was sitting next to me and then he texted me. He's like, I'll buy you another pair of jeans. No, no.

[Kyle]

My thing is you wouldn't say yes, but you have to offer if you ruin someone. Something fair.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but the text was weird. You should have just said it like we were sitting next to each other. You texted me. Like, I looked down and it's Tate, just text.

[Kyle]

I thought we had a great.

[Dave Portnoy]

You have the picture, Lucas, it was just. Yeah, it was.

[Kyle]

Bosco loved it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Loved it because the heat was off him for a minute.

[Kyle]

Bosco's two fair parts of the weekend, me spilling wine and Jack McCarthy standing up for the.

[Deutsch]

Oh.

[Dave Portnoy]

Which was so good.

[Kyle]

Salute the service.

[Dave Portnoy]

Did you see that K?

[Deutsch]

Yeah, I saw. So was it. And he accidentally was just standing.

[Dave Portnoy]

He just was. He was drunk and zoned out, and they're like, please rise if you've served in, you know, the United States military. And he just stood up. He's.

[Kyle]

He stood up. He thought it was, please rise to salute. I didn't get it on camera, but he took his hat off.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

And thought it was the last thing anybody wants.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. McCarthy to take his hat off.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Yeah, seriously. All right, good work.

[Kyle]

All right, great work. Afraid to ask you, but the Pirates are in town this weekend. Want your tickets?

[Chef]

I don't know about that.

[Titus]

Nick, your thoughts?

[Big Cat]

I already got some.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

I bought them. Lucas.

[Dave Portnoy]

Handout culture.

[Titus]

Yeah, that's the thing.

[Dave Portnoy]

Tickets probably are so cheap.

[Titus]

Early, early WRIGLEY April, probably 120, Friday.

[Dave Portnoy]

We'll see, Lucas. We'll see. Depends on what you can do for me, actually. I'll talk to you after.

[Big Cat]

I know. Last time I had a good scroll down offer.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he got. See, he got my jeans. He got. He got my shoes. He spilled it just all in my lap. Yeah, it was a tough one.

[Big Cat]

Are you sure that the Reed scale has been lifted?

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[Big Cat]

Okay. I'VE listened, okay, Because I've heard. I've heard things, too.

[Dave Portnoy]

We got to get reading. Donnie in here today.

[Big Cat]

Is Donnie back?

[Kate]

Yeah, Donnie's back to song.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's got a great tan from his skiing.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah, it's sunny up on the mountains.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[Dave Portnoy]

How was the show on Friday?

[Big Cat]

I don't remember.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Deutsch]

Yeah, must have been good. Must have been good.

[Dante]

We.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, we talked two hours.

[Dave Portnoy]

Great show.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's a great. We filled up the time.

[Dave Portnoy]

Chilled. Chilled.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it was fine. We're glad. We're glad you're back.

[Kate]

Glad we did it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Titus]

I think one of my favorite parts, too, is seeing Dave's disgusted face at them doing the Dana tries to that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, yeah, they did a Dana tries at the table. That was tough. That was a tough one. Dave. Dave was.

[Big Cat]

What's Dave like, though?

[Dave Portnoy]

So it was very funny watching this weekend because between St. Elmo's and the suite, it was basically Dave getting a crash course in, like, my crew because, you know, Dave is a little removed now.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And so, like, he doesn't Know White Boy Rick, Really? He doesn't like. And just having my crew be around Dave, I. I don't know. So there were some times where he looked at me like, what is going on?

[Deutsch]

Was he laughing at the belching? No, no. Okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, no. No one was.

[Titus]

So he just has his suite tonight and there's like four guys.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think it's Mutt, Jeff, Dlo and Jack Mac and Dave in like a 20 person.

[Big Cat]

That's a good crew. Yeah, that's a great. That's a damn good crew. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Mutt is just like. He's living the life.

[Big Cat]

So wait, he invited Jeff to the suite?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I think so.

[Big Cat]

So trivia's decided for the year?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, Jeff. So, like, no point in.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

I know people were like, where's Chuck? Where's Jack? Where's Jeff? All those guys I asked, they. I think they sat with friends on Saturday night. So that's why they weren't in the suite. And then because they had gotten tickets, they were all. I know Jack and Jeff were not coming. Like, they. That was a personal trip for them. Like, they paid their way out there. Yeah, but they'll be there tonight. They'll be there in the suite tonight. And yeah, that will be. Yes. Mutt went from flying out, staying like an hour away from Indianapolis to then he got my hotel suite, like, maybe a quarter mile from the stadium.

[Big Cat]

Big.

[Dave Portnoy]

And Jeff D. Love's sleeping on his couch.

[Big Cat]

I saw the picture of that.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Which is very fun.

[Deutsch]

Too bad.

[Big Cat]

Can I ask something? I'm sure the suite's amazing. Is it good for watching a basketball game?

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, so I actually think it's fine.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

People complain.

[Big Cat]

I've never been.

[Dave Portnoy]

And you could tell me. I don't. I don't know the technology behind it. I honestly think the iPhone camera has gotten so good that when you take a picture from your seats in a football stadium for a basketball game, it will always look terrible. But when you're there, it's not that bad because, like, you know how the wide lens and it looks like you're so far away and. Yeah, we were far away, but I. I watched the majority of the game on the court. Not the jumbotron.

[Big Cat]

Cody, was Cody in the suite?

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

No, because he posted a picture from fucking Jupiter. Yeah, but you finally at the Final Four. No, you're not.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but the one weren't there. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You did not go to the Final Four from where he was.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's just funny because I was saying that, like, every Year we the same like complaint happens. Like why are they playing this?

[Kate]

I mean that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

As far as did he do that?

[Big Cat]

There's just no way.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like why are they playing this game in a football stadium? They've been doing this for 25 years. We're never going back to a regular stadium.

[Big Cat]

And it's sold out at a minute.

[Dave Portnoy]

So it's. It's 50, 000 extra people can go to the final four.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Titus]

So is there energy in the building?

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

The Illinois took over.

[Titus]

Yeah. They were booing the out of Yukon.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, they were. There was like probably 70 Illinois for that game. And so sad going back to the hotel because I was at the Illinois hotel. Dave loved it every second. He'd just walk in and they'd all boo him. He just was smiling ear to ear.

[Big Cat]

Was. There was like a teen boy that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. The too small.

[Big Cat]

Too small to Dave.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

And that was after the game.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, that was before the game.

[Deutsch]

I was gonna say, I'm like, that's

[Dave Portnoy]

because our hotel was a zoo. It was just like a basically a pre game for all of Illinois. And so Dave would just go in the lobby and everyone would stop and boom. And he just pretty loves it. Loves it. He's the perfect guy for that.

[Deutsch]

I was in a hotel an hour north of Indianapolis and the entire hotel was people.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

For the final four.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

Couldn't the hotels downtown were like completely booked.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Do you have the video of Dave walking through and the kid doing the too small? It's very funny. And Dave just kept on saying, I bet you that kid's smaller than me.

[Big Cat]

That kid is small. Seems like a good weekend though.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Big Cat]

It's fun. Brandon.

[Dave Portnoy]

Not great by Brandon.

[Big Cat]

Okay, what do you do?

[Dave Portnoy]

He was just in full Brandon trying to leave but not leaving, but talking about leaving constantly.

[Big Cat]

And then was he getting upset when he left and people did stuff after he left?

[Dave Portnoy]

Correct.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, sounds right.

[Dave Portnoy]

He said to me probably 10 times like, I'm thinking about leaving on Sunday. I think he said it to Titus too. Like, hey could you just do mostly sports on Monday without me and Titus? Like, yeah, I guess. But like, you know, he's not going to leave. He just likes to talk about it.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Then he'll like give himself props for not leaving. You know, he said he was going

[Big Cat]

to that or does he want people be like, dude, please don't we need you? Like, I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's just basically talked out loud his anxiety out loud all weekend. Yeah.

[Deutsch]

So he Missed out in playing at the Hooer gym.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I think he went on his own.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he's. And then he got mad. I don't know. You can never. Can never fully figure out chances of

[Big Cat]

a sick day from him this week.

[Dave Portnoy]

So high.

[Titus]

But isn't he going. He's going to the master. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Titus]

He's gone for a while.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. I think that's part of it. He was like, I'm gone to the Masters after. I was like, I. Yeah. I guess the final four snuck up on everyone strip that we had planned.

[Titus]

Sorry.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, it'd be like me going to the super bowl and like, on Tuesday being like, pft. Cool if I just dip out? Like, no, we're working. Like, it sucks being away on the weekend, but. Yeah, there's certain weekends you got to do it. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Was he taking down a lot of wine at the dinner?

[Dave Portnoy]

He's having a good time.

[Eddie]

Sipping it off your lap.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He does like the wine on trips.

[Dave Portnoy]

He does.

[Reed]

There's a. There's a new number Rico might need.

[Donnie]

What?

[Reed]

Unc.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, wow.

[Chef]

Oh, no.

[Dave Portnoy]

Fanta. We just tried to get Fanta the job today for Unc. Yeah, we were really talking them up. We thought it would be. There'd be a chance.

[Titus]

This is a weird hire.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it is.

[Kate]

Michael Malone.

[Chef]

Why?

[Deutsch]

What's weird about.

[Titus]

It's like a known hard ass and, like, had a bad falling out.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, right.

[Titus]

Am I like.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, you're. You're not wrong.

[Deutsch]

So if you're a player, you're like, oh, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

But it does work in college.

[Titus]

True. But no. Has he. Where was he. Did he. Does he have college experience at all?

[Dave Portnoy]

So sorry.

[Kate]

Providence assistant.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Kate]

Manhattan assistant. Oakland assistant.

[Dave Portnoy]

I like him. Yeah.

[Titus]

He's a good coach. You're right.

[Dave Portnoy]

But good guy. Yeah, but that was. Yeah, that was 25 years ago. He was assistants and.

[Titus]

Huh.

[Dave Portnoy]

Interesting. Wow.

[Big Cat]

Ed, what do you think about Angel Reese getting traded?

[Titus]

End of an era.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Yeah. You know.

[Kate]

Where's she going?

[Big Cat]

Atlanta.

[Titus]

The Atlanta Dreams.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, what's this?

[Donnie]

Good.

[Big Cat]

The chat keeps asking me to pull up the moon. I don't know.

[Deutsch]

Oh, yeah. We're going around it right now, right?

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. What point are we? The furthest we've ever been from Earth.

[Kate]

We're on history Watch.

[Big Cat]

Well, they are going to be the furthest people have ever been. Wow.

[Dave Portnoy]

So this is them.

[Deutsch]

This is.

[Dave Portnoy]

This is a green screen.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

It looked like they just.

[Dante]

Their feet.

[Big Cat]

Cut.

[Dave Portnoy]

This is a green screen right now, right? I don't know.

[Reed]

This shit sucks.

[Kate]

You don't like any of it.

[Titus]

Oh, I love that.

[Big Cat]

Mission control.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

13 mission.

[Deutsch]

Three explorers set the record for the

[Dave Portnoy]

farthest distance humans have ever traveled from our home planet. That's cool.

[Deutsch]

At that time, over 55 years ago,

[Kyle]

Lovell, Swigert and Hayes flew 248, 655 statute miles.

[Dave Portnoy]

That guy's drinking. Come. Oh, no. That guy was drinking.

[Donnie]

Come.

[Big Cat]

Houston's drinking.

[Chef]

Oh, no.

[Dave Portnoy]

Houston, we have a problem. One of your guys drinking cum?

[Big Cat]

No, we spilled.

[Deutsch]

Come on. The computer. They're not coming back.

[Big Cat]

They're not coming back.

[Dave Portnoy]

So this is inside right now?

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And apparently they're cold as. Something's happening where they're. They're really cold.

[Deutsch]

What?

[Big Cat]

And they didn't pack sleeping bags?

[Kyle]

I guess.

[Chef]

Guess.

[Big Cat]

Did they ever figure out the toilet?

[Dave Portnoy]

They didn't check the weather.

[Big Cat]

They didn't check the weather out there.

[Deutsch]

Oh, I hate being cold.

[Dave Portnoy]

You don't say. Yeah, that chick is probably in hell.

[Deutsch]

I know. That's all. I'm thinking of her.

[Big Cat]

Oh, she has. She's so annoying.

[Dave Portnoy]

Explaining the whole trip,

[Kate]

guys. Why they talk me into this trip.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, is there a draft in here?

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie]

They've heard like 20 so far.

[Big Cat]

You guys aren't cold?

[Deutsch]

Guys, feel my hands. She keeps touching their necks. You got to feel how cold I am.

[Big Cat]

No, she's a brave, impressive genius.

[Deutsch]

Outside.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, good.

[Deutsch]

So this. Are we hitting the moment now where they're farthest away so they're on the

[Dave Portnoy]

other side of the moon right now?

[Deutsch]

Oh, it would be totally dark if they're on that side.

[Big Cat]

Oh, I don't know. What is the moon? I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

The moon doesn't rotate. Yeah, but there's a dark side of the moon.

[Deutsch]

It's just the side that we're not

[Big Cat]

facing away from Earth right now.

[Dave Portnoy]

What?

[Big Cat]

We're at the dark side that looks bright as shit right now facing away from the sun.

[Dave Portnoy]

A couple of potential names for those items or those areas. And we spent a bit of time this morning looking out the window with

[Deutsch]

their name in new parts of the

[Dave Portnoy]

moon now both with our naked eye and through the long lens. And so we feel this is a good time to send this down. And a special shout out to Kelsey for helping us with this. The first one we'd like to suggest is a named crater in honor of our great spacecraft integrity. And so if you were to look at. We're naming crane and shit now.

[Deutsch]

Craters. They're naming craters. But haven't satellites done this before without People and taking pictures and stuff.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

I'm not impressed. This is like big cat with the guy. Get a real skateboarded down that giant ramp.

[Big Cat]

That didn't look impressive either. That looked like he wasn't going that fast.

[Deutsch]

I just hate that they're cold now. That's all I'm going to think about.

[Titus]

Oh wow. Look at those concurrents.

[Big Cat]

How are they doing?

[Titus]

824.

[Big Cat]

Pretty good. That's pretty good.

[Deutsch]

How big are their windows?

[Big Cat]

That looks so cluttered. It looks like the Yak studio.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

I'd be very stressed out.

[Titus]

You into this, Kyle?

[Kate]

Not this part, but I've been loving the. The footage and the. The images of the earth.

[Titus]

Yeah. Do you see that Kane Corso going bananas at Walmart?

[Big Cat]

No, I didn't see that.

[Titus]

Crazy.

[Big Cat]

Let's pull. Turn this off. Let's see the dog going nuts in Walmart.

[Titus]

Who did Kane Corso.

[Dave Portnoy]

Who's that?

[Big Cat]

Those are scary.

[Deutsch]

They're the big dogs that are like puffed up pit bulls basically.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right, Big boy.

[Deutsch]

It's like kind of sick how they make them as big as they breed them to be.

[Kate]

Like Cane Corso.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Is that a species name or a dog's name?

[Big Cat]

That's a dog breed.

[Deutsch]

Dog breeding.

[Dave Portnoy]

I thought it was like an info.

[Kate]

It was like Lee's dog.

[Big Cat]

Oh no. Someone like that clavicular you let.

[Dave Portnoy]

Wouldn't that make sense?

[Deutsch]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Flipped out at a Walmart. That would be a Cane Corso just for maxing.

[Big Cat]

Eddie just out dogged you.

[Deutsch]

Is this AI?

[Bosco]

No.

[Titus]

I mean maybe I got got. I mean it doesn't do anything. It's got a muzzle on but.

[Big Cat]

Oh, I'd be scared. Why have that?

[Deutsch]

Why are you bringing that into a store?

[Big Cat]

Why have that as a dog?

[Titus]

Okay. It said it.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's okay. Good boy.

[Kate]

Good yo. Good boy.

[Dante]

Good boy.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's okay. It's okay.

[Big Cat]

Is it a dog food aisle?

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[Deutsch]

What?

[Titus]

Looks like it might be.

[Deutsch]

Well, look at all that cocaine around.

[Chef]

It's.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Stop. Good boy.

[Big Cat]

That was like on par with the space video. Equal. I thought it was going to be going. You said it was going bananas, Ed.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Maybe not banana like it wanted to. Yeah. Yeah.

[Titus]

Wanted to under a different scenario.

[Big Cat]

I'm. I'm mad at Julio.

[Dave Portnoy]

Why?

[Big Cat]

We went out with him on Saturday and it was revealed to us he. How many times has he been on the yak?

[Deutsch]

What, over 15 probably.

[Big Cat]

He's 39 years old with an XXXTENTACION tattoo.

[Dave Portnoy]

What?

[Dante]

Oh.

[Donnie]

Where?

[Big Cat]

On his arm.

[Deutsch]

What does it say?

[Dave Portnoy]

Is it.

[Big Cat]

It's the same tattoo that what the

[Deutsch]

rapper had on purpose.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm actually shocked. He's 39.

[Titus]

30.

[Dave Portnoy]

How do you think he was, like, 32?

[Deutsch]

Didn't xxxtended? Didn't he get got.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's dead.

[Deutsch]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

But he got it while he was alive.

[Donnie]

Huh.

[Dave Portnoy]

And wasn't he a snitch?

[Big Cat]

I don't know anything about?

[Eddie]

No, that.

[Dave Portnoy]

That. All right, there we go.

[Kyle]

He abused.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Deutsch]

Abused what? Drugs?

[Big Cat]

No, a little more.

[Dave Portnoy]

And this is the one he has.

[Big Cat]

No, he has the tree that he had on his face.

[Dave Portnoy]

Wow.

[Kate]

It was a quote, I think.

[Big Cat]

Does he have a quote as well?

[Dave Portnoy]

What?

[Deutsch]

Wait, why?

[Kate]

He said he respects what he's done for the culture.

[Deutsch]

What?

[Kate]

He's.

[Dave Portnoy]

What?

[Kate]

His, like, artistic genius and creativity, like, inspired him a lot.

[Big Cat]

Do you know how much dead energy we've had on the show?

[Kate]

And we had to stop laughing kind of.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And like, we were like, okay, well, listen, for the record, awful. But yeah, he's been hiding that from us.

[Deutsch]

Did he have any other tattoos?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he has a lot.

[Deutsch]

Julio?

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Deutsch]

Like what?

[Kate]

One from a former. He got a girl's name on his.

[Big Cat]

It says, like, for Jamie on his groin. That's not his wife's name.

[Deutsch]

Oh, no.

[Kate]

Julia.

[Big Cat]

Julia.

[Kate]

To Julia, comma.

[Big Cat]

It was an open ended letter that he has next to his penis. A girl he never really even dated.

[Deutsch]

Oh, no, I gotta get one for Pat.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he should have. He should have said that.

[Big Cat]

I know. It's up. Like, dude, like, really? He's been on anus 10 times.

[Kate]

Because I don't think he. He didn't think it was funny.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, you were.

[Bosco]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

I did start to go in and

[Kate]

he was like, oh, I actually got this. Like, I. I'm glad I got this.

[Big Cat]

He was like, yeah, he's a lot. Say what you want. I have no regrets. I'm like, wrong.

[Kate]

You were going in on it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Big Cat]

It was all in fun.

[Titus]

Is he the only bu. Tennis player that has that tattoo?

[Big Cat]

I almost certainly question only tennis player in the world.

[Deutsch]

Probably.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, maybe. Only tennis player. Wow. Interesting guy.

[Deutsch]

Is there a song I would know?

[Dave Portnoy]

That's the thing. I.

[Eddie]

Not.

[Kate]

He's.

[Eddie]

There's so many more people you could argue have, like, influenced the industry just as much, if not more. But then to just get an XXXTENTACION tattoo. Interesting, huh?

[Dave Portnoy]

Interesting guy. What can we get eyes on Deutsch?

[Eddie]

Hear a lot of taping going on.

[Kate]

Oh, no, he's wasting time.

[Big Cat]

I need to know how much Tape was used. I need final stats.

[Deutsch]

Yeah, it's a lot of tape.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's just sitting in that chair drinking beers.

[Big Cat]

This could potentially be the best day of his life.

[Dave Portnoy]

Probably is. Look, he's. Oh. Oh, John,

[Deutsch]

for a minute.

[Dave Portnoy]

By the way, the trough is set up.

[Big Cat]

Did you guys saw it? No. It's fun.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's actually. No, it's. It. The plumber's coming tomorrow to. I sent it to you, Lucas, a picture. It's. So we're not getting rid of the urinals, so people still have that option. It's on the. It's a cross in the urine, but

[Big Cat]

still, I'm gonna assume you're a. Yeah, if.

[Eddie]

Oh, there's nothing more emasculating than.

[Dave Portnoy]

Look at that.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that looks great.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's perfect.

[Kate]

The men's side.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it's the. Yeah, that's the men's side and the boys.

[Big Cat]

Oh, and like that's lined up up from the front door. So you're gonna walk in and see penis.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Co worker penis.

[Dave Portnoy]

Isn't it sick, Eddie?

[Titus]

Yes, if. And I'm happy you were able to do that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that's a yeah. And it's gonna be functional. Like someone else is buying that. Probably not making it still in use. We're gonna have it in use.

[Big Cat]

Keeping the legacy.

[Eddie]

If you walk in there and don't use the trough, you might as well go to the woman's.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes. Seriously.

[Big Cat]

I'm gonna assume you have the smallest penis ever.

[Dave Portnoy]

The two options are trough or sit down and pee. Right.

[Eddie]

You ever see a guy at Wrigley who passes up the trough and waits in line? You know, he's rocking a micro.

[Big Cat]

Even if you have a small penis and I see you pissing in the trough in my head, that's a bit.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Your man. Yeah. Yeah. It's big bros.

[Big Cat]

Yes. How are you going to use it?

[Kate]

Like I said, I'm going to like, get up there like I'm standing on a cliff about to jump into the water and I'd have to like, you know, like slap myself in the face

[Eddie]

and you're walk back on the diving board.

[Deutsch]

I ordered cheapies for the girls so we could use it too.

[Dave Portnoy]

What are she, peas?

[Deutsch]

It's this like, suction cup funnel. It lets you pee like a dude.

[Big Cat]

No fun. Have you ever used one?

[Deutsch]

No, but I've seen it for like, people who go hiking a lot.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. You're gonna have to break. Yeah, Break it in.

[Deutsch]

Yeah. People are mess free, apparently. You can write Your name if you want to. Like a guy.

[Big Cat]

Wow, look at that.

[Dave Portnoy]

We really don't talk about it enough. How. How much better it is to be a man.

[Big Cat]

That was the sheepy.

[Dave Portnoy]

You guys don't know peeing is fun. I know it's terrible socks for you

[Deutsch]

because it gets all over your feet. What if you're. If you're drunk and you're at a parade and you have to go in an alley?

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Deutsch]

Unless you're on an angle down slope. It's just. It hits the ground. It's the cement, and it just.

[Big Cat]

It just goes.

[Deutsch]

You gotta find a leaf pile or.

[Big Cat]

I never thought of that.

[Eddie]

You don't gotta stream like.

[Dave Portnoy]

Huh?

[Eddie]

What do you mean, the splashback?

[Deutsch]

Yes. It hits the ground and it goes to the side. It's. It's. It's not. Not as fun as you guys.

[Big Cat]

That after the case race is going to be crammed.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm.

[Big Cat]

I'm going to have people scoot over. Some fit in between.

[Titus]

So did people are saying they didn't clean it? Was it as dirty as it appeared?

[Big Cat]

It looks like it was almost just like fossilized.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, you can't. Yeah. They just gave it as is.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I appreciate.

[Titus]

How much was it? Have you revealed that?

[Dave Portnoy]

7,500. Oh,

[Big Cat]

I'm gonna say that's too much. And like, was it an auction or, like, just the price? It was the price that was never gonna sell.

[Donnie]

Maybe.

[Dave Portnoy]

Whatever.

[Titus]

All right.

[Chef]

If that was an auction, it's cool.

[Deutsch]

You gotta have a little plaque, though, that says what it is. I feel like.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

Special.

[Titus]

Good point.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

Or something.

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean, that. That's the Will Compton museum with the bills trough. Like, that bathroom's starting to have little aura to it. Yeah.

[Deutsch]

Whenever I give a tour, I'm like, please go in for a moment.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

And I tell people, we got to

[Dave Portnoy]

figure out what's next for that bathroom.

[Titus]

That's bathroom Artifacts should be more normalized. There's a stadium. It's called fill ins on Devon. And they had a plaque that said Michael Jordan stood here, like 20 years ago.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we should definitely. We should definitely put like a. I'll put a marker, a sharpie there on like a string. So any famous person that pees in the trough can sign the wall.

[Big Cat]

That's cool.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that would be really cool.

[Kate]

A sharpie on this.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kate]

On a string.

[Dave Portnoy]

String on a string.

[Big Cat]

That look nice.

[Dave Portnoy]

Do you see what I'm saying?

[Big Cat]

Like twine.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Titus]

Pan for itself, maybe.

[Dave Portnoy]

Not twine. Why? I don't want twine.

[Big Cat]

Twine's the best.

[Dave Portnoy]

String. No, I don't want twine.

[Big Cat]

You're gonna regret that.

[Kate]

A manlier.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Kate]

String.

[Big Cat]

Like a full. Like thick rope.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Rope.

[Big Cat]

A big ass robe.

[Deutsch]

A shipping rope. An anchor on the.

[Big Cat]

Like an anchor chain.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, what's up, Dante?

[Chef]

What's up?

[Big Cat]

We're live.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, sure, hold on. Let me do an ad real quick. Dante's here.

[Big Cat]

Happy belated Easter, my friend.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Kraken, the official crypto platform of Barstool Sports and the only investing platform that can't survive, or there can survive, whatever this show turns into. Let's be honest, most people think you have to be a genius when it comes to investing. You don't. You just haven't found the right platform. That's Kraken. Crypto, stocks, ETFs, all in one place. All on a platform that makes investing seamless. To navigate. Over 13 million people use Kraken because it's simple and reliable. Here's what you get.350 cryptos to trade 11k equities, including stocks and ETFs, recurring buys so you don't have to think about it. Rewards for holding certain assets. Geo restrictions apply up to 200 when friends sign up. Terms and conditions apply. That's cracking, Dante.

[Donnie]

Hello?

[Dante]

Hey, guys, what's up?

[Dave Portnoy]

What did you. Oh, wait. I have a call to action. It's crypto and stocks, but manageable, which is the best you can hope for. Kraken's giving you 25 in Bitcoin. New users. Go to kraken.com barcelona use code BARSTOOL25 when you sign up. Deposit and trade. A hundred dollars.

[Titus]

Boom.

[Dave Portnoy]

25 and bitcoins. Done. Disclaimer. Securities and brokerage services offered by Kraken Securities, LLC. Member FINRA, SIPC. Digital asset services offered by PayWord Interactive Inc. And MLS. ID 1843762A Finchen registered money service business. Not a member of FINRA or sipc. And not FDIC insured. Dante. What's up?

[Dante]

What's up, guys?

[Dave Portnoy]

What's up?

[Dante]

I thought Rico was here.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he is.

[Dante]

Where is he?

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, he's doing a show right now.

[Dante]

Oh, I just saw a little clip and it got cut off, so I didn't get to see. What did he say when you asked him if he knew me? Were you trying to, like, stir stuff up?

[Big Cat]

No, I didn't know you guys ever crossed paths.

[Dante]

Oh, how could we not?

[Big Cat]

You guys live in different areas.

[Dante]

I know, but we feel like knowing each other forever.

[Big Cat]

Didn't know that. Didn't know that.

[Donnie]

Do you.

[Dante]

What do you think me and Rico are going to have conflict in Vegas?

[Big Cat]

No, I think you guys will see eye to eye more than anybody.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I was going to see two Italians.

[Dante]

Yeah, I do too.

[Deutsch]

And you guys both have a lot of guys. You know what I mean?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I think you guys would be a hilarious duo together.

[Dante]

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it, honestly. We did the UNCLE Olympics in New York a couple months ago and he was my teammate. Couldn't have gone better.

[Big Cat]

I thought you were coming in here for the moon stuff. Well, while we have you, I guess when in Rome.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dante, do you want to say the thing that you're working on for us in the office? I can't. Oh, wait, is this. Is this an update?

[Big Cat]

Is that the dark side of the moon?

[Eddie]

Is that fake, Don?

[Dante]

I don't know what they're showing right now.

[Dave Portnoy]

It looks like the moon. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, good point.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dante]

Oh, that 8. Is that HD? Is that 8K? Look at that.

[Dave Portnoy]

The Apollo 13 record of farthest here.

[Kyle]

12:57pm Central Time, 1:57pm Eastern Time.

[Dante]

Don't even get me started.

[Kate]

Do you think it's silly?

[Dante]

Can I talk about that? Dan?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. It's your idea.

[Dante]

I didn't know if it was like. Like 100% greenlit.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes, I said do it.

[Dante]

We're getting a claw machine.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh,

[Kate]

I would have expected.

[Dante]

And. And there's a caveat.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Dante]

We're gonna put a lot of cash in one of the balls.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Dante]

And it's not gonna be cheap to play, but the money's gonna roll over every month. Might. Might make a donation to pause.

[Big Cat]

I'm going to rob your blind. I think I'm top 1% on Earth at claw machines there.

[Dave Portnoy]

So.

[Dante]

I didn't know this. I've done a lot of research. I've been talking with the company that custom builds them. You can set those claw settings to tile tight.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes.

[Dante]

Yeah, they're totally like. They're like.

[Big Cat]

They're that are broke.

[Dante]

They're like slot.

[Big Cat]

Really take advantage of.

[Dante]

Yeah, exactly. Like they make them loose so that you can never win. And then they make them so that you always win.

[Dave Portnoy]

Can you.

[Big Cat]

Can you make it like where it tightens for one round you.

[Dante]

It's like a slot.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Dante]

You can set it so that it like.

[Dave Portnoy]

So they making it. Custom building it like it will be a barstool logo and everything.

[Dante]

Yep.

[Dave Portnoy]

Fuck yes.

[Dante]

It's gonna be awesome.

[Big Cat]

You have a claw machine hookup.

[Dante]

I texted Dan the other night. I don't know what I was watching, but it, like, popped in my head. And I was like, oh, it would be awesome if we had something like that in the machine and we had a sick prize in it. And then I started thinking, like, all right, we put a lot of cash in the first month, and then we can just roll it over.

[Big Cat]

I love that.

[Dante]

Yeah, so that's a good idea, Dante. I have two different models. I'm gonna show Dan and have him pick on that.

[Dave Portnoy]

I want, like, cheap little, like, toys in there too.

[Dante]

Oh, yeah, there's gonna be a lot

[Dave Portnoy]

bouncy balls and stuff.

[Dante]

Like, a lot of gag gifts. A lot of empty balls.

[Titus]

Balls are cool.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, no, they're cool. Yeah, Cool for, like, a minute until you lose it. Yeah.

[Dante]

Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

[Dave Portnoy]

Throw it too far and it goes down the street.

[Eddie]

True, Dante. I received a clip yesterday from White Boy Rick. He sniped you after church, but at the end of it, you went and grabbed a random coffee that had been outside the whole time.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was tea, but you.

[Eddie]

So you left it outside during the mass and grabbed it after?

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Did you hide it?

[Dante]

I put it behind the sign because you can't bring. You can't bring that into church.

[Eddie]

I think you can bring a coffee into church.

[Dante]

I've got yelled at.

[Donnie]

Really?

[Eddie]

Well, the. The logical thing would be just to wait to buy the coffee till after

[Dave Portnoy]

church or finish it.

[Big Cat]

Was it cold?

[Dante]

No, it was scorching hot. So by the time I came out, it was. It was warm.

[Big Cat]

It was. How long was mass? An hour.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that's. There's. There's no way.

[Dante]

I like my. I like my tea, like, lukewarm.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but there's just no way it was.

[Big Cat]

You want me to touch your tea?

[Eddie]

I haven't touched a cup. You're going to drink that?

[Big Cat]

It's lukewarm.

[Dante]

Yeah, I. I like it. I like it warm. Sometimes I put an ice cube in it.

[Eddie]

He was picking his nose right before that.

[Dave Portnoy]

So are you back on social media?

[Dante]

Yeah, it's fucking.

[Eddie]

You never left.

[Dante]

Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right where I left it.

[Dante]

Just toxic and fucking hateful as hell. Like, I open it up this morning, people are just miserable. I'm like, why. Why did I sign up for this again?

[Titus]

What did you make out of that bubble graph where it said people's political alignings and their. Their reach?

[Dave Portnoy]

Do you see that?

[Bosco]

Yeah, I thought.

[Dante]

I thought it was fair. Yeah, I Think it's. I think it's pretty spot on. I mean, it's. Twitter's pretty much Elon's little right wing echo chamber now, which it showed. But I was glad to see Barstool Gray.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And do you think it would still be gray if your blogs were nerfed?

[Dante]

Yeah, I'm. I'm very down the middle.

[Big Cat]

Okay. I believe I agree. Yeah, I agree.

[Kate]

You said don't get you started on the moon.

[Big Cat]

Why are we doing this?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

How much is this costing?

[Dante]

This charade?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

However much it is. Rent a studio.

[Kate]

Yeah. For the tech. I mean, cgi.

[Dante]

I mean, NASA has unlimited budget. It's just a money pit.

[Eddie]

You once asked, why don't we go once a month?

[Dante]

Not once a month, but more often

[Eddie]

than every 50 years.

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean, we're not even going on the moon. Right.

[Dante]

Exactly.

[Big Cat]

Looping around.

[Dante]

Do you know why, Dan?

[Dave Portnoy]

Why?

[Dante]

We don't have the technology.

[Big Cat]

The next one's going up.

[Dante]

We didn't. We did in 1969, but we don't have the technology today to do that.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's interesting.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

That makes no sense.

[Dante]

No, it does.

[Titus]

We've.

[Dante]

We've regressed.

[Big Cat]

But why. What about, like, look.

[Dante]

Or look around this studio.

[Big Cat]

What about America? What about American enemies at the time, during the space race? Why wouldn't they come forward and be like, that's a lie. Forget I asked?

[Dante]

No, I mean, that's. That's a very valid question. Again, I'm just. I. I don't have any answers. I'm just.

[Eddie]

I'm just pointing out the questions.

[Dante]

I'm just asking questions myself.

[Dave Portnoy]

Sure.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Just asking questions. All right. Well, it's good to see you, Dante. All right. Glad to have you back on social.

[Dante]

What do you guys all think about this Vegas thing?

[Dave Portnoy]

It's gonna be great.

[Deutsch]

I think it's gonna be fun.

[Big Cat]

Are you going to be more in your element than you were at Beach House?

[Dante]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Vegas, you got a lot of connections, like promoters and owners.

[Dante]

Yeah, I help. I helped put together. We're gonna announce something later this week. It's going to be like the best part of the whole week.

[Eddie]

And you're not unk anymore.

[Dante]

I know. It's. I'm kind of glad that Deutsch is going. I'm really glad. I'm not kind of glad. I'm really glad you are going, but. And. And Rico, are you guys all staying

[Deutsch]

in the same house near the Strip or what do you do you know yet?

[Dante]

Can we. Can we say.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know, I don't think you're

[Big Cat]

allowed to say yet.

[Deutsch]

Okay.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I don't know what it is.

[Dante]

It's not a house.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's penthouse. Whoa.

[Deutsch]

But you're all together in it.

[Dante]

There's a guys and a girls, and they're ridiculous. Sweets.

[Titus]

Is it the famous one?

[Dante]

It's pretty. I mean, it's. It's absolutely ridiculous.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, Rochelle, like, Dave.

[Dante]

Like Dave and Gaz looked at the itinerary, and they were like, this is kind of bullshit. Like, this is nicer than anything that anyone in this company's ever done.

[Donnie]

It's.

[Dante]

It's ridiculous. Danny's coming too, by the way.

[Big Cat]

Is he going to be your guy?

[Bosco]

He was.

[Dante]

That was part of my negotiation to go back. Is Danny.

[Dave Portnoy]

You were in a space Danny had

[Dante]

to document for me.

[Big Cat]

Listen, I'm not going to go on this. All expensive paid. Yeah, you wouldn't have been.

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[Dante]

So. So Danny will be there, too.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's also funny being like, Danny has to come. The guy who does the best job of roasting Dante. Like, Danny's elite at finding funny things to make fun of Dante for.

[Deutsch]

I still think about the clip where you were looking for the girl you had brought back to the house with you, and she was in the living room with you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, there you are.

[Dante]

Didn't bring her back.

[Chef]

Kate.

[Deutsch]

Oh, she followed someone.

[Dante]

Yes.

[Deutsch]

Okay.

[Dante]

Someone invited her back.

[Deutsch]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Was this the Scream mask girl?

[Dave Portnoy]

No. Whoa.

[Kate]

The other one that was in his room? No, he was trying to make a song.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that's due in the morning.

[Dante]

There's gonna be a lot of Scream mask girls in Vegas, though.

[Kate]

Oh, you're gonna have a lot of weird sex.

[Dante]

No, I'm just saying, like, that type of. That personality. There's a lot of them out there.

[Kate]

It's got to be sleazy, right? You probably know some sleazy dudes in. In Vegas.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

How many times you've been to Vegas before, would you think?

[Kyle]

Well, you.

[Eddie]

You had, like, a mini residency there.

[Dante]

Not many. I was there every month.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[Dante]

Yeah, for two years.

[Dave Portnoy]

Damn.

[Eddie]

Your way around there.

[Dante]

When Zook opened up at Resorts World.

[Eddie]

That's right. That's right.

[Big Cat]

So are you going to feel like. Like, last one, you were kind of a mentor to the guys. Are you going to be the same role, or do you think you're going to try to. Since this is kind of home turf for you, let loose?

[Dante]

I'm gonna let. I'm gonna let loose.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Dante]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna have fun.

[Eddie]

I mean, you Let loose last time.

[Titus]

Can you give us a teaser of what you have planned?

[Dante]

I can't because I'm waiting for Tara and Gaz to coordinate the like, announcement or whatever. It's. It's gonna be sick.

[Kate]

Is it just like a pool party maybe?

[Dante]

No.

[Titus]

Is it a party of some sort?

[Deutsch]

Is there anyone from that list that you're worried about in Vegas that you're like, oh man, I don't know. Because there's like. There are like shady characters. You got to be on your

[Big Cat]

smelly

[Eddie]

Danny Jaguar's gonna prank your ass.

[Dante]

Nah.

[Big Cat]

I mean, maybe.

[Dante]

Maybe some of the girls. I think

[Dave Portnoy]

maybe.

[Dante]

Maybe Ella. I think Ella might. Because we got a lot of back to backs. We got a lot of like day parties at the pool and then we gotta go out at night.

[Dave Portnoy]

I can't wait to find out what. What couch Deutsch sleeps on.

[Big Cat]

Oh, he's gonna be. Yeah, there's gonna be a bunch of king sized beds. He's gonna dibs on the couch.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, man.

[Eddie]

Social guy sleeping on the ottoman.

[Kate]

He's gonna end up out of state.

[Bosco]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Deutsch.

[Kate]

Yeah. That' going to be a Hopi reservation.

[Big Cat]

Roswell.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Dante]

One thing I really want to do, but they won't tell me if we're doing yet, is visit Hoover Dam.

[Kate]

You'll love it, Dante.

[Big Cat]

I'm sure that crew would really want to leave Vegas to go.

[Dante]

So you've been kb it's amazing. Do you know about the. The portal in the time travel?

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah. Actually they actually sat me down and like did a seminar and like told me some things about the portal.

[Dante]

No, I'm being serious.

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[Deutsch]

Is that one of the places where they say the world is thin?

[Dante]

Yes.

[Deutsch]

Yes.

[Dante]

Kate knows.

[Titus]

Are you. It's that enjoyable? The Hoover Dam?

[Deutsch]

Genuinely. Probably one of my favorite places I've ever visited.

[Dante]

I've never been and I'm dying to

[Deutsch]

go like mind blowing wise where you're like, holy.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's pretty impressive.

[Deutsch]

Pretty impressive.

[Titus]

Chaps all over it. Like two weeks ago.

[Deutsch]

Really?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

Oh, I thought it ruled. And then the bridge that they built. I was there when they were building that bridge right across from it. That. That was crazy.

[Big Cat]

What's the portal, Dante?

[Dante]

I don't know.

[Deutsch]

There's places in the world where you can tell the.

[Big Cat]

The doorway between like a dimensional our

[Deutsch]

world and the next is very thin.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Deutsch]

And sometimes you can sense it. You're like, the veil is thin here.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's.

[Deutsch]

And the Hoover Dam is one of them.

[Lucas]

Where it's.

[Big Cat]

I would love that I would love that sensation.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but the astronauts.

[Dante]

I didn't say that.

[Bosco]

Got it.

[Kate]

There's a portal to another dimension.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but like they build. Do they go to our dam to hide the portal?

[Dante]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

I. Or it's just coincidentally in the Hoover Dam.

[Dante]

I don't know. I've. I've. I've read things and. And heard things. That's part of the reason I wanted to go and see for myself and experience.

[Deutsch]

Yeah.

[Dante]

If Kate.

[Deutsch]

You could feel it there. You could feel it.

[Dante]

That's awesome.

[Deutsch]

Yeah. Get sucked right through.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, Dante.

[Dante]

All right.

[Dave Portnoy]

See ya. Thanks, Steven. We do the American Home Shield ad.

[Reed]

You got it.

[Dave Portnoy]

We gotta get. I'm gonna take a piss. I'm gonna try to get Reed. I want to get Reed.

[Big Cat]

Oh, please.

[Reed]

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[Big Cat]

Nice.

[Eddie]

There we go. Steve.

[Big Cat]

Danny.

[Dante]

Did you.

[Big Cat]

Was that you just finding out that you're going to Vegas?

[Bosco]

No.

[Eddie]

No, no.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it was all kind of just revealed today, so I wasn't sure if I should.

[Big Cat]

Chef.

[Donnie]

What's up boys?

[Dave Portnoy]

Here, fresh off his ski trip. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Hey, look at this.

[Dave Portnoy]

One free kiss.

[Big Cat]

Wow.

[Dave Portnoy]

Let's go. Hell yes, Kingsley.

[Kate]

Was that a boycott?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm looking forward to that.

[Donnie]

Reed.

[Big Cat]

Donnie, why do you look so windswept?

[Eddie]

You look like a NASCAR driver.

[Donnie]

What do you mean? What is that supposed to mean?

[Big Cat]

You look windswept.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. You look like you just got off the mountain.

[Donnie]

I don't look windswept. My hair, it's getting too long. I'm trying to figure out what to do, how to do it and.

[Dave Portnoy]

Reed, you dressed up today.

[Chef]

Yeah, I mean, I put on my nice shirt.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Chef]

Nice collared shirt.

[Dave Portnoy]

Hell yeah.

[Eddie]

Combed your hair.

[Dave Portnoy]

Do you guys know each other?

[Donnie]

We've met in passing. We talked about buildings.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Chef]

About climbing, we talk.

[Donnie]

So we got it.

[Chef]

And yeah, no, I would love to. I just don't know really how to do it. I think you know how to do

[Donnie]

it right as much as the. Any other guy, I think.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[Chef]

I thought.

[Kate]

Comforting.

[Chef]

I thought you were like. Well, I know it's into that shit, though.

[Donnie]

I'm into that shit.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donnie]

It's that. It's a lot of just looking at buildings and going, I think I could get on that roof and then.

[Chef]

Fuck yeah, dude. That's what I want to do.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

It's sick.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's sick.

[Kate]

It's.

[Donnie]

There's a lot of good spots right over here. Really? Bandos over here?

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Kate]

So you're scaling the building from the outside or you're going inside?

[Donnie]

Some of them, you go on the

[Big Cat]

inside and take the steps that seems

[Kate]

the fire emergency less extreme.

[Donnie]

And then the. Some of them, you go from the outside type of guy.

[Dave Portnoy]

The inside or outside guy, he looks

[Donnie]

out, you look outside to me. Outside. Scaffolding. You ever climb scaffolding?

[Chef]

Nah. But like, how are you?

[Big Cat]

What have you climbed?

[Bosco]

Why?

[Kate]

Why so confident? Read. What have you done? What's your resume?

[Chef]

I'm like, athletic. Like, I feel like I can climb. Right.

[Kate]

Have you climbed a tree before? Like recently?

[Chef]

No.

[Big Cat]

You've never climbed a tree?

[Chef]

No, I've never climbed a tree.

[Donnie]

We should. So we should. You go climb a tree. Right there's.

[Chef]

I'm down. Yeah, yeah, I'm down to climb.

[Big Cat]

Do you have a good climbing tree? By you?

[Donnie]

I don't know by me. There's one by the office, though. There's a tree outside we can climb.

[Chef]

Fuck yeah. How close on the tree?

[Donnie]

I think right outside we could probably climb a tree in the right next to the parking lot.

[Chef]

Like now.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, go Climb the tree.

[Big Cat]

Are you guys similar areas?

[Chef]

No.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, kind of.

[Deutsch]

Ish.

[Donnie]

Where are you from?

[Dave Portnoy]

Wisconsin.

[Donnie]

Minnesota.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Donnie]

My roommate, Peter's from Wisconsin.

[Chef]

Really?

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And you know a Peter, too?

[Chef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peter's my dog.

[Dave Portnoy]

Peter's his roommate.

[Donnie]

Your roommates. We have the same. That's.

[Chef]

That's actually pretty cool.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's actually pretty. What the Is that. That's actually living with the same name, Peter.

[Chef]

No, no, no, no.

[Big Cat]

You're. You're with a rotten Peter. You're. Peter's chill.

[Chef]

I mean, yeah, he's a chiller for sure.

[Kate]

Oh, my Mary Jane had a piece of.

[Dave Portnoy]

But wait.

[Chef]

What? Wait.

[Donnie]

He's a bad dude.

[Chef]

Wait, why?

[Donnie]

He's just a piece of. But he's a good. Like a. You know, it's one of those guys that you love, but he's a piece.

[Chef]

Yeah, no, no, I feel you. I feel you on that.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's not your Peter.

[Chef]

No, no, no. I love my Peter.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

You know what I'm saying?

[Donnie]

I love my Peter, too.

[Chef]

I don't know, bro.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're saying, like, you're the Peter.

[Chef]

He's like, yo, he's a piece of.

[Donnie]

Like, all weekend. He was gone, too, last past week. And I said, did you lock the place? Is it locked? I go, yeah, I had my neighbor go check because I didn't trust him. Wide open, food on the counter. Just didn't.

[Chef]

Oh, that's a piece. Peter sucks. Kb.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's crazy.

[Big Cat]

So, wait, dude, Peter wasn't always your roommate, though.

[Donnie]

No, I. Wolf was my other. Come on. We don't have to go through your life, partner.

[Big Cat]

When you bummed when Wolf left, you had to replace him with Peter.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Yeah. 100.

[Dave Portnoy]

I will say that, Donnie. Like, just his vibe right now without Titus in the room is like.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You're relaxed.

[Donnie]

Yeah, it's. Yeah. He's the devil.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Titus]

He's the problem.

[Dave Portnoy]

He is.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Yeah. I think it would figure it out. I took my blood pressure after the yak once, and it was like a 185 over 50.

[Dave Portnoy]

Jesus.

[Donnie]

Deadly high.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know if that's that.

[Big Cat]

Titus could kill you.

[Donnie]

I'll probably get a doctor's note that says, stop doing whatever is making your blood pressure high, but I won't.

[Dave Portnoy]

What did you do with your look? You look awesome, right?

[Big Cat]

You look cool.

[Dave Portnoy]

You like it?

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You look beautiful, dude.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. You're gorgeous.

[Chef]

He did a lot. He looks gorgeous.

[Dave Portnoy]

Gorgeous right now.

[Donnie]

Any.

[Big Cat]

Any girl you wanted, you could have.

[Chef]

No.

[Donnie]

No, I don't Know about that?

[Chef]

Yeah, I think so. For sure. Yeah, I think you get a lot of girls. For sure.

[Donnie]

I don't, but thank you, Rita. I'm glad you asked.

[Chef]

Yeah, he told.

[Dave Portnoy]

He told. Glad you asked.

[Chef]

I told that dude, we could get any girl, too. No, no, no, no.

[Dave Portnoy]

I can't right now.

[Kate]

Any luck? What about this weekend?

[Chef]

No, dude, I'm not getting any girls. Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

Did you talk to any girls this week?

[Chef]

Yeah, I'm in, like, in a crazy one right now.

[Big Cat]

Do you want to talk about the blanket idea?

[Chef]

Yeah, I mean, I can talk about it for sure. Hopefully the girl's not listening. That'd be kind of bad.

[Big Cat]

That'd be bad.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

But, like, fuck it, right?

[Dave Portnoy]

Right?

[Deutsch]

Yeah.

[Chef]

All right. So basically, like, that's. No pressure from us, has basically said, like, no, let's just be friends. And I'm like, God damn it. You know what I'm saying? So then I'm talking to her. Talking to her. We're still friends, but we, like, talk a lot. You know what I'm saying? And then I went over to her crib, like. And we were, like, gonna watch a movie. So we watched a movie, but I didn't like to do anything because I was, like, scared because, like, she friend zoned me.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right, right.

[Chef]

So my idea.

[Kate]

Oh, no.

[Chef]

Is to have a blanket. You know what I'm saying? Like, put on a blanket and then, like, put, like. Like a little bit to the side. So, like, if she, like, comes in. You know what I'm saying, though.

[Kate]

Or no, wait, I guess not at all.

[Dave Portnoy]

But no, I actually think I follow this. He's saying that a move.

[Chef]

It's not a move.

[Dave Portnoy]

Not yet. He's establishing.

[Big Cat]

You're offering a little blank.

[Chef]

She's gonna listen.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's got a blanket on him. If she gets under the blanket with him, that's basically like, hey, listen, you know what?

[Chef]

I'm Friends.

[Dave Portnoy]

Friends don't go under blankets together.

[Donnie]

I think you're already. If you're watching a movie.

[Chef]

No, I'm telling you, bro, you're gonna bring a blanket.

[Dave Portnoy]

I actually agree with Donnie. If a girl invites you over to watch a mo, think she.

[Chef]

So you think I fumbled.

[Big Cat]

What was the movie?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

I don't even know the movie, bro. I was so like, oh, my God, what do I do? And I just didn't do anything.

[Big Cat]

You did. Were you on your phone or were you staring at the movie? Were you looking at her?

[Chef]

I was on my phone a lot.

[Dave Portnoy]

Describe what you remember from the movie.

[Chef]

I. I know, like, Nothing from the movie.

[Dave Portnoy]

Any.

[Big Cat]

Like, this was two days ago.

[Chef]

No, this is like a week ago.

[Dave Portnoy]

Actors.

[Chef]

She's gonna listen to this. And I'm.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, what was the name?

[Chef]

But it's low key. Like, all right. Like, I don't want to be friends. You know what I'm saying?

[Kate]

Like, it might work.

[Big Cat]

What's one of the actors or something? Anything. A sound.

[Chef]

A sound. Who's like, ah, I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dude, you don't remember a single thing from this movie?

[Big Cat]

Was it Sinners?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

How did you know that?

[Deutsch]

Did you.

[Kate]

Come on.

[Eddie]

How did you.

[Chef]

Did I tell you? Did I tell you? Yeah, I think I told you, like, last week. AD yeah, you did.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dude, you on your phone the whole time.

[Chef]

Dude, bro, she friend zoned me, so it's like, I can't make.

[Deutsch]

But then if you're still wondering about the blanket, if you think there's still a chance that you shouldn't be on your phone the whole time. Because if I'm on the fence and you're. I invite you over to a movie and you're on your phone the whole time, I'm like, never mind, I'm out.

[Chef]

I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Have you talked to her?

[Chef]

Like, now this is. Dude, if she listens to this, I'm so.

[Dave Portnoy]

What?

[Chef]

Right?

[Big Cat]

No, no, dude, this is, like, kind of romantic.

[Kate]

Yeah, you're being wholesome.

[Chef]

I'm like, shooting my shot on a live show.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but like, dude, like, you were so. You want this girl so bad, you're so into her that you're willing to embarrass yourself potentially for advice.

[Dave Portnoy]

Good. It's good.

[Kate]

She's beautiful to you.

[Chef]

So beautiful, bro.

[Kate]

Was she invested in the movie?

[Chef]

Oh, yeah, I think so.

[Dave Portnoy]

Tell her she's beautiful.

[Big Cat]

Dude, I invite her.

[Chef]

I. I invite her on a date, and she said, I just want to be friends.

[Dave Portnoy]

But then she's like, a lot for a movie.

[Big Cat]

Chef.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What do you think?

[Donnie]

I think if you get invited over to a girls, what time was the movie? Is it matinee or is it text

[Big Cat]

her saying, dante's gay matinee?

[Donnie]

Did you watch it?

[Big Cat]

What is that?

[Chef]

What is that? A matinee?

[Donnie]

Matinee is a movie in the night.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's those big, like, whale things.

[Chef]

No, it was just, like, at her crib. It was at her crib.

[Deutsch]

Was it a day or a night?

[Chef]

It was at night.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

You were in. You were what?

[Dave Portnoy]

What?

[Chef]

So I was in.

[Dave Portnoy]

So I fumbled what night of the week? So I fucking fumbled what night of the week?

[Chef]

This Is like, Tuesday night.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, dude.

[Kyle]

You fumbled Tuesday.

[Dave Portnoy]

No. Girl invites over. Dude, for a Tuesday night. Movie night.

[Big Cat]

Kate, from a woman's perspective, what night is your horniest?

[Deutsch]

Tuesday.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, Tuesday.

[Deutsch]

We go crazy on Tuesday.

[Chef]

And then I FaceTimed her, like, I think two nights ago, and I was like, yo, like, do you want to, like, hang out? And she said no in the night, 8 o'? Clock?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, because you watched your phone instead of the movie, dude.

[Big Cat]

So wait, you just. She just said no? Straight up.

[Chef]

She was like, it's late. I was like, all right, whatever.

[Donnie]

Well, you can't call. I've learned this story. You can't call, girl, 8pm Try to hang out that night. Night on a weekday.

[Big Cat]

You were trying it, like, 2am they don't love that. They don't love what you doing after.

[Dave Portnoy]

Why don't you text you right now and be like, you want to watch a movie tomorrow night?

[Titus]

Anything after.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's a Tuesday Again. Tuesday, movie night.

[Chef]

All right, let's do it.

[Big Cat]

I pick this time.

[Chef]

Later. I want to do it later.

[Dave Portnoy]

How'd you meet her?

[Chef]

It's my ex. Coworker.

[Titus]

Gotcha.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, nice. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And did you like her when you were working with her?

[Chef]

Dude, if she's listening to this, it's like, I'm already cooked, though, right?

[Big Cat]

Like, no.

[Dave Portnoy]

Cool.

[Big Cat]

There's no chance she's listening.

[Chef]

She's. Yeah, she definitely knows that I'm, like, on this. But, yeah, I liked her from the moment I laid eyes on her.

[Big Cat]

Chef, you're in his shoes.

[Donnie]

What do you do if I'm in his shoes?

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, if you. If you were in his shoes, you already would have her. That's.

[Chef]

Come on. No, I don't.

[Donnie]

I don't do that. I've got her flowers.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Made her chicken.

[Chef]

Yeah, dude, I bet that's a play. You can just, like, cook some up.

[Donnie]

Bro, I would ask.

[Dave Portnoy]

I got an idea.

[Donnie]

What's that?

[Dave Portnoy]

Why don't you invite her over for a movie?

[Chef]

No.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then you can find out if she likes.

[Bosco]

Read.

[Kyle]

He could.

[Chef]

He could easily take my girl, too.

[Big Cat]

Like.

[Chef]

Like, you know what I'm saying?

[Big Cat]

But if Chef breaks her heart.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

She's gonna come crawling to you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Chef breaks her heart, and then you're like, oh, nice guy, like Reed.

[Chef]

Yeah, but I don't think girls like those kind of guys, like. Like those.

[Kate]

Like.

[Chef]

Like, you know what I'm saying? Those polite, kind guys anymore. You know what I'm saying? You got to be a little mean.

[Kate]

Oh, no.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, no, no. You were.

[Eddie]

You Were on your phone the whole time.

[Big Cat]

Mean enough like, like, mean how?

[Chef]

Just a little, like, toxic, you know? You got to, like, you got to have some toxic energy for him, you know?

[Kate]

All right, respond. Little toxic. Reed, how was your day?

[Chef]

It's fine, dude.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was a little bit.

[Dave Portnoy]

That was a little toxic.

[Chef]

Yeah, fine.

[Kate]

Like, you don't ask how she. How her day was.

[Chef]

Yeah, no, no, no, no.

[Dave Portnoy]

Reed, do you want to go get dinner tonight? Toxic.

[Chef]

I mean, bro, like, I don't know. I have a lot on my plate right now. You know what I'm saying?

[Dave Portnoy]

Like what?

[Chef]

Like, dude, I got some other girls I got to talk to.

[Dave Portnoy]

Nice. Nice.

[Chef]

Killed that.

[Big Cat]

That'll work.

[Donnie]

That's.

[Dave Portnoy]

That was good, Chef.

[Donnie]

You could try gaslighting her.

[Chef]

I like that. Like how? Like how?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I say you weren't.

[Donnie]

You're on your phone the whole movie. You weren't watching it. Maybe we should watch it again.

[Dave Portnoy]

Just flipping. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chef]

Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't get that.

[Dave Portnoy]

I was just like, you tell her, hey, you want to come over and watch Sinners on Tuesday? And she'd be like, didn't we already watch that? And be like. But yeah, you were on your phone the whole time. Feel like you didn't watch it.

[Deutsch]

You convince her. She.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, gaslight the out.

[Chef]

I like that cat.

[Dave Portnoy]

I like, play some mind games.

[Chef]

There you go. Like that.

[Big Cat]

Is that what you would do, chef?

[Chef]

No, no. Yeah, you would. Yeah, chef, come.

[Donnie]

I would have watched National Treasure. I would have done the first. I would have done that. First of all.

[Chef]

Wait, why?

[Donnie]

Why? That's my go to first date movies.

[Bosco]

And there's all.

[Big Cat]

Also, why is that?

[Chef]

It wasn't. But the thing is, guys, it wasn't a date, dude.

[Big Cat]

It wasn't invited you over to watch

[Eddie]

a movie on a Tuesday.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's such a deal.

[Kate]

I think women will indirectly try to establish that you're just a friend by, like, bringing up other guys or.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah,

[Chef]

so many.

[Dave Portnoy]

But I wouldn't even have a friend. Like, if a friend invited me over to watch a movie, I'd be like, no, not a friend move. She could have easily. Yeah, yeah.

[Chef]

I don't know. We'll see. We'll see how this works out.

[Deutsch]

Hopefully you bring anything over to her place. Really? Like, I brought up. No.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, you should have. Like, Peter,

[Big Cat]

like, did you think there was a chance, like, that something would have happened that night?

[Chef]

Ah, yes. But I just didn't. I was just, I guess from your pubes.

[Dave Portnoy]

Shaved your balls.

[Chef]

Yeah, yeah, but like, I guess I was just scared because she already said we were friends. So it's like.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's mixed signals.

[Big Cat]

Chef, what do you do when you're friend zoned?

[Chef]

He's never friends.

[Big Cat]

Never ever.

[Chef]

Yeah, I'm chill like that.

[Dave Portnoy]

No,

[Donnie]

there's no way out. I don't think. You gotta just stop talking to somebody.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're so.

[Chef]

You think.

[Big Cat]

Oh, you're trying to her.

[Chef]

Yeah, no, that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Actually give her. Give the number to chef. He'll. He'll end this for you. Yeah, yeah. Like, hey, listen. Oh, my God. Reed doesn't want to talk anymore.

[Chef]

Are you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Go, go, go. Climb this tree.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Steven, will you grab the zoom? Oh, you got someone.

[Big Cat]

Is that vintage Donnie?

[Kate]

Yeah, why?

[Reed]

It's falling him.

[Dave Portnoy]

He looks so awesome. What a look.

[Titus]

What did he say, Nick?

[Big Cat]

I said, is that Vinci goes, nah, this is old.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[Titus]

AKA fired.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, let's go.

[Titus]

Huge.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's funny that we just had that conversation.

[Big Cat]

We have eyes on bets.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna give the old quote to you. Why? What do you do?

[Chef]

Yeah, I mean, she's. If it's already dead, she's gonna listen.

[Donnie]

If it's dead in the water already,

[Dave Portnoy]

your best bet is hope she sees that. Maybe her friend sends her A link. Oh, I like this.

[Deutsch]

Did they know? Do they know their audio is available right now?

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Cat]

This is really clear. And is it really nice out there today?

[Deutsch]

Yeah.

[Chef]

And then I'm like, yo, like, my bad on sinners.

[Dave Portnoy]

I should have been off my phone and into you. Yeah.

[Deutsch]

So, yes, that's the move.

[Chef]

That was my shot, if you think about it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, you blew it. You did. But, yeah.

[Chef]

You got a second shot.

[Dave Portnoy]

I got a second shot. I got luck.

[Big Cat]

All the neighbors are not gonna.

[Deutsch]

They're gonna break this branch onto that car.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, man, he's so.

[Deutsch]

He's so cool.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, man. So just do that.

[Deutsch]

That's.

[Dave Portnoy]

So do that.

[Dante]

Put your hand.

[Donnie]

Come on.

[Deutsch]

I didn't know he could hear.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, no. Read, read.

[Bosco]

Don't let go.

[Chef]

Read.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes. Reed. Oh, the backwards grip. Oh, where. Where are you going? Put your hand on this one up here.

[Kate]

Oh, no.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Donnie]

You good?

[Deutsch]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You're not.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. All right, now keep coming up here.

[Chef]

I'll move you.

[Donnie]

You take this branch.

[Dave Portnoy]

This is crazy.

[Big Cat]

This just needs to be a show.

[Dave Portnoy]

There's two dudes in a tree. Look at that, man. We're in a tree. Go. Wyatt.

[Kyle]

Wyatt.

[Dave Portnoy]

Let's see. Let's. I want to see it from a.

[Big Cat]

Let's see the height.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah,

[Deutsch]

okay.

[Big Cat]

All right. Donnie's high up. Donnie got up there quick.

[Dave Portnoy]

Reed is still in the beginner level.

[Kate]

Content.

[Dave Portnoy]

Reed.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's happy there. Reed doesn't climb trees for height.

[Dave Portnoy]

You can come up to this one.

[Donnie]

She got that branch next.

[Dave Portnoy]

Should Reed shoot his shot right now?

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Read facetimer from the tree. Do you have anything to say to the girl?

[Kate]

Make him higher.

[Chef]

He has to be.

[Big Cat]

He can't be lower than another man.

[Kate]

He's got to be higher than Donnie.

[Chef]

I want to watch a movie with you.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's all.

[Eddie]

Do like that. Could have been you in the tree. Kssing.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, that's good.

[Deutsch]

Could be us.

[Big Cat]

I need the branch to total this car.

[Deutsch]

That's a nice car.

[Eddie]

Could be us. But I was on my phone the whole time. Oh, look at the train in the background.

[Dave Portnoy]

Beautiful.

[Deutsch]

Oh, he's struggling.

[Big Cat]

I think he's nowhere fast. Yeah, he's. He's done.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, Donnie's gonna be disappointed. Paired him with a squid.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, tell him to come back in here. Wyatt.

[Big Cat]

Okay, guys, let's. Let's watch this.

[Dave Portnoy]

Let's watch him dismount. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kate]

Oh, let them just do whatever, I guess.

[Big Cat]

Oh, we gotta call the fire department.

[Deutsch]

Stuck. Yeah, Our boys are stuck. In a tree.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no.

[Deutsch]

Yeah, we'll dismount

[Chef]

first treat.

[Deutsch]

Yeah.

[Chef]

First tree wide.

[Dave Portnoy]

I. I would imagine that's a good tree. Donnie to get back in here. All right. Good job, boys. It's good to see that Him.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man, I hope they like each other.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think they might be good friends. Except for, like, I could see them being good friends, and then Reed just being like, Donnie's just stealing all my.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah. That's an issue.

[Dave Portnoy]

And he will.

[Big Cat]

That's the issue when you hang out with Chef. But you got to sign off on that. It happens.

[Dave Portnoy]

I love those two boys.

[Titus]

He should just be a sous chef.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Titus]

It's like, help them out in there.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that would be great.

[Dave Portnoy]

That would blow his mind. I'm cooking.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Holy.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Crazy, dude.

[Big Cat]

It was raw 15 minutes ago.

[Dave Portnoy]

Now it's.

[Big Cat]

I can eat it and not get sick.

[Dave Portnoy]

Holy. We just had bread right there. That's crazy.

[Big Cat]

And this will sustain me.

[Kate]

He's the most open to suggestions of anyone I've ever met.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Just tell him, great tree. Yeah. For his first tree, he didn't get very high.

[Big Cat]

The optics didn't look too high. It didn't look high.

[Dave Portnoy]

You didn't look like you. Donnie got a lot higher.

[Donnie]

Well, I was first.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Yes, I was, because I was ahead.

[Dave Portnoy]

Can I ask a question about climbing trees, Donnie?

[Donnie]

Sure. You're never too old.

[Dave Portnoy]

It wasn't the question. Does it. Because, like, it's hard to get, like, you know, there's little spots you got to get in and out of.

[Donnie]

I know where this is gone.

[Dave Portnoy]

Does the shoe size help? Yeah, it has.

[Donnie]

I said this for the beginning. It's quieter footsteps and better at climbing are the two benefits of. Yeah, Short feet.

[Dave Portnoy]

You should notice. You. You flew up that tree.

[Donnie]

I like to climb trees. And spring is sprung. That's the first tree of the year for me.

[Dave Portnoy]

Wow. His first tree ever for you.

[Chef]

Yeah. It was awesome, dude.

[Donnie]

So now you got. Now we'll do buildings.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. You've been trained. You went eight feet in the air. Now we're ready for your building approved. Yeah.

[Chef]

That's gonna be so much.

[Dave Portnoy]

You just got your building certification off of one tree.

[Donnie]

You're ready.

[Chef]

No, I'm down. Honestly.

[Dave Portnoy]

You guys should be. Eddie just said, too, that you should be chef's sous chef for some videos.

[Donnie]

You like to cook?

[Chef]

I can't cook for, but I mean, like, I'll try, but I. I don't cook, but I'll try.

[Donnie]

Yeah, okay. That's all you need is trying could

[Titus]

use a sue, right?

[Donnie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

You just gotta like, grab stuff for him and like.

[Chef]

I thought I could do that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Prep the sauce.

[Donnie]

Yeah, we could do that. We'll do. Maybe we'll do blind and deaf with Reed too.

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, man. That would.

[Big Cat]

Dude, I watched a super cut of like a non barstool channel, put out the blind and deaf. Best hits. Greatest hits.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Unbelievable.

[Dave Portnoy]

Awesome.

[Donnie]

It's fun. It's a lot of fun.

[Deutsch]

I feel like you are teaching him to climb trees and buildings.

[Chef]

He's like my role model on the way, dude.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he's big, bro.

[Donnie]

It's a good move movie.

[Deutsch]

What's something that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, KB's big bro. Sorry, my bad.

[Deutsch]

Teach him.

[Chef]

No, not big, dude. I don't even know. I would have to, like, contemplate on that. Honestly.

[Deutsch]

Skateboard. Well, you can skateboard.

[Donnie]

I can't skateboard.

[Deutsch]

There you go.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's where the feet thing.

[Chef]

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna have to like contemplate on that. Whether or not because I don't know, dude. Maybe.

[Donnie]

Do you draw? You an artist? You look like you can draw.

[Chef]

I can't draw for how to clip.

[Deutsch]

Clip.

[Bosco]

Yeah.

[Chef]

But I don't think he needs to do that.

[Eddie]

Well, you don't need to climb trees.

[Donnie]

I can clip.

[Chef]

Yeah, you can clip. I'll figure it out.

[Big Cat]

So you have no use for Reed.

[Donnie]

I like to. I'll teach him how to climb. That's fine. We can go to the. We can go to the actual gym too and put.

[Chef]

Oh, yeah, I'm down for that.

[Donnie]

Or we could.

[Eddie]

We could hit up the skyscraper guy.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah, we have.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

Do you know that guys got a skyscraper guy?

[Big Cat]

A guy that owns a sky.

[Donnie]

I've seen his tick tocks and.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

In the office.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah. All right. That we can. So we can climb on his building?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that'd be sick. It'd be so sick.

[Big Cat]

Did you jump out of a plane this past weekend?

[Donnie]

I did. I did.

[Big Cat]

How'd that go?

[Donnie]

Awesome. Sick as fun.

[Eddie]

No.

[Big Cat]

Are you afraid? Are you ever?

[Donnie]

Yeah, it's scary. I mean, it's scary every time. It's still scary.

[Big Cat]

You just jump right out. There's no, like, hesitation.

[Donnie]

Not at this point, no. But there's. It's still like.

[Big Cat]

Reed, would you jump out of a

[Chef]

bond I have before? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Donnie]

Hell yeah.

[Chef]

Yeah, I've skydived before. It's a good time.

[Dave Portnoy]

Nice.

[Donnie]

It's fun.

[Chef]

A lot of adrenaline. A lot of adrenaline.

[Donnie]

That trio did you. Your heart was pumping in the Tree,

[Chef]

dude, my heart's still pumping right now.

[Big Cat]

You were, like, the height of Sean, Brad.

[Dante]

I'm.

[Chef]

I'm gonna be honest. I don't.

[Big Cat]

You were the height of a tall man.

[Chef]

Yeah, dude.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Chef]

He's got to explain a lot, lot for me because he. He pulls out some, like, crazy that I'm like, who, me? Yeah, I'm just like. Like, I wish I knew that, but I just don't, you know?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I set you up for failure there. That's on me.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

The height of Wemby.

[Chef]

I know. Wendy for show.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay. So there you go. Okay.

[Donnie]

Where are you from?

[Chef]

Dated myself from Walatosa, Wisconsin.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Donnie's a badger.

[Chef]

Nice. Hell, yeah, we are.

[Dave Portnoy]

We're gonna watch Frozen 4.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Together.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Kate]

Yeah, we can hope.

[Chef]

Thursday, I can hoop.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Chef]

Yeah. I can teach him how to hoop.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's actually when I. I. It was the reading. I got off to a bad.

[Chef]

Oh, that was one, he.

[Dave Portnoy]

I thought he was a scale. And two, he. He played pickup with us the very first time, and he was full court, pressing, and I was just like, dude, what are we doing? Yeah, I know. I was like, we're. This is. This is a bad game of basketball. We're all here just to run up and down, not football gourd problems. Pick it up. Just picking up 90ft.

[Chef]

I told all my friends.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dude, what are you doing?

[Chef]

Yeah, I told all my friends. I was like, yeah, the cat yelled at me. Yeah, they're like, that's kind of sick.

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean, you are a good Hooper, but it was just like. Yeah, no, I was like, now you understand the. The tenor of these games are not. No, no, They're. They're a lot of. Just, like, trying to get a little exercise.

[Chef]

For sure.

[Dave Portnoy]

Have some fun with the boys.

[Donnie]

Yeah, my hooping's bad, so I could use help with that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, there you go.

[Big Cat]

There you go.

[Chef]

I could teach him how to.

[Big Cat]

Hoo.

[Kate]

How was your locker room culture and when you were playing basketball?

[Chef]

It was good. Yeah? Why?

[Kate]

I don't know. Because, like, some guys have, like, rambunctious stories.

[Chef]

Oh, I don't think we have any. Yeah, I don't think we have any, like, crazy stories.

[Kate]

Just showering and stuff.

[Chef]

Yeah, yeah, I've showered with the boys, for sure.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, we have the. Wyatt. Wyatt saw Reed get tripped out because he saw him. Do you see that? This is bad that Lucas isn't on the text chain today. Lucas, you're doing a great job, honey.

[Donnie]

Oh, Lucas is in the Booth.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, Lucas.

[Donnie]

What's up, Lucas?

[Dave Portnoy]

So everything's just a little slower. Lucas is actually doing a good job. I agree. You're doing a good job, Lucas.

[Big Cat]

He really wants those tickets.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he does.

[Donnie]

What are you getting tickets for?

[Dave Portnoy]

I have something we can figure out. Look at that. Reading himself. That's.

[Chef]

Oh, that's crazy. How.

[Big Cat]

And now, Reed, you're doing that?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

Again.

[Dave Portnoy]

Wait, hold on, Reed. I'm gonna take a picture.

[Chef]

You doing that while doing that? Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Look at yourself. Whoa.

[Chef]

That's pretty crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's nuts, dude. And then you're going to do that later with Peter.

[Chef]

He's. He's in Florida right now.

[Dave Portnoy]

What?

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Why he do that?

[Chef]

Yeah, like a little. Little trip. Yeah. So I'm kind of home alone.

[Donnie]

You can borrow my Peter.

[Big Cat]

I'm sick of him. You're sick of your Peter? Dude,

[Donnie]

trade.

[Big Cat]

Left the door open.

[Chef]

No, I'm home alone, which is, like, I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

You scared?

[Chef]

I get lonely, bro. I hate living alone.

[Big Cat]

Invite somebody over to watch a movie.

[Chef]

Yeah, we're gonna see. We're gonna see if this works out. We're gonna see if this works.

[Dave Portnoy]

Tell her. Text her and be like, hey, my. My roommate's away, and I'm a little bit of a scaredy kid. Look at that.

[Chef]

All right, all right, stop. Let's stop this. Let's stop.

[Dave Portnoy]

This is crazy, dude. This is great. And we could do it again. No, we're not. We can do it again. Oh, now it's just.

[Lucas]

Whoa.

[Chef]

This is like black mirror, I'm telling you. Yeah, you just keep on seeing all the screens and.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dude, text a girl and just be like, I'm a little.

[Chef]

Right now.

[Dave Portnoy]

You.

[Chef]

You want me to text a girl right now?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, just be like, you want to watch a movie tonight?

[Dante]

All.

[Kyle]

I will, I will.

[Dave Portnoy]

My roommate's out of town.

[Chef]

She's going to see this, bro.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, she's not.

[Eddie]

Does she watch or something?

[Chef]

Yeah, she. She, like, told me she. She saw the last two ones.

[Eddie]

Oh, you're.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Why did you say that?

[Big Cat]

You lead with that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

Guys, guys. But no, but I was telling Donnie,

[Donnie]

I was telling you, I think.

[Chef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donnie]

We were talking about this outside. I said, she'll probably see this, and it might be a third. It's a second chance.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

Either way. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Donnie]

Either way. It can't get worse. Yeah.

[Deutsch]

It could get worsened.

[Big Cat]

And you like hanging out with her.

[Chef]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

There's a chance you never hang out again.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, no, it could get Worse. She's watching and seeing that Donnie is single.

[Chef]

Yeah, I know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Look at how gorgeous he looks today.

[Chef]

That's why I don't. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Who's that guy that was higher than you in the tree? Way higher than.

[Chef]

Bro, if I was first, I would have gotten higher.

[Donnie]

Like. Yeah.

[Kate]

Didn't look like it read.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kate]

If anything, you wanted to. To be lower than you already were.

[Chef]

All right, all right, all right. That dude.

[Donnie]

No, it's his first tree. That was a good effort for a first tree.

[Chef]

Yeah, I climbed it at least. You know what I'm saying?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I do.

[Kate]

We do.

[Dave Portnoy]

100%.

[Chef]

100 p. I'm super excited and anxious to see what happens with this girl, though.

[Dave Portnoy]

For sure. I think you're in.

[Donnie]

I'm excited for him.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think you're in.

[Chef]

You think so?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You got to start playing it cool, cuz now you're, like, too obsessive. You talked about it too much.

[Chef]

Oh, yeah, I talked about this. I'm sorry. I talked about this the whole time.

[Kate]

No, I'm saying, like, she's gonna just, like, be more casual, like. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

There's gotta be some don't like about her.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, nothing. She's perfect. Damn, you got a perfect girl.

[Big Cat]

You hear that, chef?

[Eddie]

Dude, way to not be too obsessive.

[Dave Portnoy]

I.

[Donnie]

That's not my type.

[Big Cat]

Perfect.

[Donnie]

Be real mean.

[Chef]

I do like him a little toxic too.

[Donnie]

Oh, we might be alike.

[Chef]

Yeah, I know for sure. Love that.

[Dave Portnoy]

You excited for mini golf?

[Donnie]

Yeah, I'm pumped.

[Dave Portnoy]

So I. I think I've said it. I said it last week, but. So tomorrow night, we're doing the after dark stream, but Chef Donnie's got a sponsor's exemption, so he's in. Because I need to see Titus versus Chef Donnie with, like, there's a cash

[Kyle]

prize to this big.

[Dave Portnoy]

We're at 40. 40, I think. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that.

[Big Cat]

That's fine.

[Dave Portnoy]

Whoops. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Now it's ruined.

[Bosco]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I'm stoked. Thank you for letting me through. Do I. I still have to compete tomorrow, I'm assuming?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes, you do. Yeah. But you are sponsor exempt.

[Donnie]

Do I get to wear a jacket or something for it? Like.

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[Donnie]

What, like a penny? Like a sponsored? I don't know, like a. The one person already through wear something different?

[Dave Portnoy]

No, I think I just said that you're sponsored.

[Donnie]

All right. Okay. So everyone. All right. That's all huge.

[Big Cat]

That's a huge compliment to your.

[Dave Portnoy]

Your.

[Big Cat]

Your character. They.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but just think about, like, the Ryder cup, because it's it's the same format. It's going to be alternate shot teams of two for two rounds and then singles. Imagine if the singles come down to Titus and Chef Donnie the last match.

[Donnie]

Yeah, he'll be in hell. He's gonna be.

[Big Cat]

You're gonna get in his head.

[Donnie]

This is my element. He's not a golfer. I don't think. Look at him.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think he's actually a really good golfer.

[Donnie]

Not with those legs.

[Big Cat]

What about his legs?

[Donnie]

Tall and gangly.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I'm gonna win. I'll. If it's head to head with me and Titus, he isn't. I'll give him a handicap. Oh, not strokes. Not. Not like a stroke.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, you're gonna, like, hurt. You're gonna, like, paralyze him. Give him a handicap.

[Donnie]

Physical, handicap. No, I. I feel confident I can be Titus in any activity.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Donnie]

At this point.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay. Do we see what's Deutsch? Let's get one last eyes on Deutsche. Oh, God. Where is he?

[Dante]

Ron?

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, is that a water?

[Kate]

Wait, so he drank 16 from 9:30am until 11:30am it's like one every five minutes.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that was today.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Oh, wow.

[Donnie]

And then he's got the other tonight, right?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Deutsch]

And he came in here and spoke eloquently.

[Donnie]

I talked to him. I didn't realize he was gassing beers. Yeah, he sounded fine.

[Big Cat]

I wonder how many he's at now.

[Deutsch]

It's built different.

[Big Cat]

Said he only has 21 left. 2 left. 21 left. You're at 21.

[Deutsch]

Okay.

[Donnie]

I missed that.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know.

[Donnie]

I think he's done.

[Dave Portnoy]

Stop time tapping the mic.

[Chef]

Sorry.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's all right.

[Big Cat]

You're fine.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was very annoying. Sorry. It's cool, it's cool, it's cool.

[Eddie]

Tell your boys you got yelled at by Big Cat again.

[Chef]

Yeah, no, probably. No, No. I don't think that was like a skull, though.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, that wasn't advice. Stop talk. Touching the money.

[Chef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you, bro.

[Dave Portnoy]

Did you text her?

[Chef]

No, I feel like she's just gonna listen to it, so.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then that's all. You texted, like, did you watch the act movie, question mark?

[Big Cat]

Just be like that. Or like, I slipped up on the yak and accidentally called you purse. Perfect.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Chef]

Nah, that's too soft. That's too cheesy.

[Dave Portnoy]

You did.

[Chef]

You said that.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, just say, did you watch the yak. Dot, dot, dot, Movie, question mark.

[Chef]

It's Loki. Kind of hard.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Is there a chance she's the one?

[Chef]

I mean, yeah, bro, she's perfect. Bro.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but, like, marrying her.

[Deutsch]

Dude, don't answer these.

[Dave Portnoy]

How many kids?

[Donnie]

Don't answer that.

[Chef]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Two, three kids.

[Titus]

Four.

[Big Cat]

Have you thought about kids?

[Chef]

Dude, I don't a give a about her. You know what I'm saying?

[Deutsch]

There you go.

[Chef]

That's what that toxic right there.

[Eddie]

We just don't have it in between. I want to marry this girl or this.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, well, good show. Should we spin the wheel? I think Titus and Brandon are back tomorrow. We're going to be streaming the national championship tonight, so tune in last stream of March Madness. I really need and Connecticut to win.

[Big Cat]

Nice.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right. Thank you, Eddie. Thank you, Lucas. Good job, Reed. Donnie, see everyone tomorrow. Lucas, are we still live?

[Dante]

Yes.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, go ahead, Titus.

[Donnie]

I can't hear him.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, you can stop driving. Yeah, go ahead. I'm driving up to Chicago, listening to the yak. Reed is unbelievable. He's so funny. I don't think we need Don anymore.

[Bosco]

I think we have our guests of the year.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Okay, Mark, that's fine.

[Kyle]

My life.

[Donnie]

My heart rate gets better if that goes down, so that's fine.

[Chef]

I'll.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's.

[Donnie]

I'll go back to my peace and quiet in my kitchen then. Mark.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah?

[Big Cat]

We, like, don't really have a juice

[Dave Portnoy]

for Don anymore because we have read now.

[Donnie]

You're just. You're so. You're upset that I said I was going to beat you, just like I did in the. In the combine and everything else we've done at this entire office.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay.

[Donnie]

You didn't know. You didn't need to call in for that. I. I already. I took Reed into a tree. Idiot. I think he's incredible.

[Chef]

This is awesome.

[Dante]

All right.

[Donnie]

Is that all you had?

[Dave Portnoy]

All right, see you for tomorrow.

[Big Cat]

Tj's back tomorrow. Watch bar after dark.

[Dave Portnoy]

Mini golf survivor tomorrow.