RG3 Stops by and Joins Cheah's Wine Tasting Adventure | The Yak 2-4-26

Summary

The Yak – Episode Summary

Episode Title: RG3 Stops by and Joins Cheah's Wine Tasting Adventure
Date: February 4, 2026
Hosts/Panelists: Big Cat, Stephen Cheah, Kate, Hank, Brandon Walker, Foley, Ian Cobbler (Master Sommelier), and others
Special Guest: Robert Griffin III (RG3)

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Overview

This Super Bowl week episode of The Yak blends the show’s classic camaraderie, offbeat commentary, sports banter, and food adventures with a memorable wine tasting led by master sommelier Ian Cobbler—for the benefit (and confusion) of resident wine cynic Stephen Cheah. RG3’s casual drop-in sparks even more fun. Across two hours, the crew reflects on their flag football games, unforgettable dinners, and the “pathetic titans” legacy of Barstool. The show climaxes with a crash course in wine that’s both legitimately educational and riotously unorthodox.

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Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. Yak Super Bowl Week Vibes & Recap (00:31–13:58)

• Super Bowl week energy is high. Stephen Cheah opens by marking the “day 3” leadup and welcoming sommelier Ian Cobbler.
• The group recaps their flag football event, complete with legendary gaffes (White Sox Dave almost injuring a ref; Mincy’s random jumping).
• Notable Super Bowl dinners: Mincy orders four appetizers before anyone else’s drinks; Roan orders fish at a prime rib house, scandalizing the table.

Memorable Quotes:

• "He sat down, ordered four appetizers for himself — before people ordered drinks." (Kate, 05:00)
• "He had his whole arm in the chocolate mousse." (Stephen Cheah, 06:05)

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2. Barstool’s “Pathetic Titans” & Physical Ineptitude (24:03–27:28)

• The crew ruminates on Barstool's roster of tall, physically-blessed men wasted on desk jobs, prompted by KB’s prior rant about “pathetic titans.”
• Hogdale’s height (6'3") is spotlighted among Barstool’s “wasted” athletic potential.

Memorable Quotes:

• "We just waste our height. We all should be the pinnacle of everything — and we’re nothing." (Big Cat, 24:19)
• "Small Asian boy could do his job. We’re wasting 6’6 of man." (Big Cat, 25:30)

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3. Food, Drink, and Restaurant Stories (15:57–20:31, 46:48–47:48)

• Debates over prime rib: House of Prime Rib versus cut preference, prime rib’s tendency to look better than it tastes.
• At House of Prime Rib, Roan scandalizes by ordering fish; Rico gets agitated over a prank involving glasses of milk.
• The joys and dark arts of eating alone in hotel rooms: “The greatest pleasure.”

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4. Sports, NBA & NFL Hot Takes (13:12–20:00, 38:07–39:41, 63:36–65:14)

• Recap of Barstool’s flag football games, with self-deprecating commentary on game IQ and physical shape.
• NBA chatter—Harden’s nomadic behavior: “He’s really good at getting traded.”
• Bulls and Thunder trade news gets casually analyzed (“Most Gen Z superstar stars”).

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5. Master Sommelier Ian Cobbler’s Wine Class with Stephen Cheah (67:35–123:45)

Introduction (67:35–69:39)

• Ian Cobbler returns for a highly-anticipated wine tasting, joined by Cheah (wearing a Jaguars #69 jersey).
• Cheah admits he doesn’t like wine but wants to “get to a point where I can comfortably talk about it and enjoy it casually.”

Notable Insight:

• “I feel like 35% of lifelong wine drinkers don’t actually like wine…” (Hank, 02:58)
• “I would like for the barrier to entry to be lowered so everyone can just enjoy wine.” (Cheah, 03:44)

Blind Tasting and Colorful Descriptions (69:56–99:06)

• First wine: Cheah describes it as "smells like the outside of a fire extinguisher," “airy, like hydrogen," and "wet booze."
• Ian gently interprets and translates Cheah’s wild notes (“fruit, under ripe pear, oyster shell, no oak”).

Panel reactions:

• “There are 275 master sommeliers in the world, and he is sitting next to a guy in a #69 Jaguars jersey saying it smells like a church pew.” (Big Cat/Stephen Cheah, 72:07)

• Second wine: Cheah: “Smells like a balloon… like New Shoe smell.” Ian: “It’s classic Riesling, honey, saffron, balloon is… not crazy.”

• RG3 enters; jokes about notes of Hennessy and “Ethiopian wine” fly, further derailing the tasting.

• Cheah’s descriptors escalate to “cold lava,” “wet,” “tastes like honey but not hot," “balloon, Vaseline.”

Masterclass in Wine Tasting & Education (91:00–106:12)

• Ian explains the Master Somm exam process—including the theory, service, and blind tasting requirements.
• Panel tries mimicking a professional tasting (chewing, swirling, sniffing) with frequent comic asides and missteps.
• Ian exhibits patience while fielding questions about glassware, pouring technique, and odd sense-memory connections.

Final Tastes, Pairings, and Takeaways (112:18–125:20)

• Crew pairs the red wine with Pizza Hut pizza (“definitely enhances it. I’m getting pepperoni, cheese.” —Cheah).
• Ian’s personal wine (Napa Cabernet Sauvignon) is poured; panel showers it with praise.
• Cheah earnestly hopes the barrier to wine appreciation lowers for average people, despite his off-label palate (“I’d like wine to be more accessible.”)
• Panel learns about up-and-coming wine regions outside France/Italy: Croatia, Austria, Canada, Mexico.

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6. RG3 Drop-In & Miscellaneous Banter (82:28–85:56, 88:32–88:45)

• Robert Griffin III arrives mid-tasting: Sips, drops one-liners, and gets roasted. The crew jokes about "notes of Hennessy," “tastes Ethiopian,” and football–wine athlete crossovers.
• RG3’s involvement is brief but energizes the segment with his presence and charisma.

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7. Pepsi Challenge Segment & Spin the Wheel (127:51–131:44)

• Brandon Walker and Kate participate in the Pepsi Zero vs. Coke Zero blind test. Kate picks the “wrong” cola despite sponsorship, much to the hilarity (and worry) of the crew.

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Highlights, Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Mincy's Dinner Antics:
  “He sat down, ordered four appetizers for himself — before people ordered drinks.” (Kate, 05:00)

• On Flag Football Blunders and “Pathetic Titans”:
  “We just waste our height. We all should be the pinnacle of everything — and we’re nothing.” (Big Cat, 24:19)
  “White Sox Dave…almost swore the ref’s ACL on the first play of the game.” (Ian Cobbler, 09:46)
  "I puked last night. ... I think I'm concussed from lack of oxygen." (Stephen Cheah, 21:54)

• On Wine Tasting: “Smells like the outside of a fire extinguisher.” (Cheah, 71:14)
  “I would like for wine to be more accessible.” (Cheah, 89:48)
  “If honey was lava but not hot.” (Cheah, 83:28)
  “Balloon and new shoe smell.” (Cheah, 80:49)
  “Honey, wax, maybe a little green apple, and 10% not sure yet. Maybe Vaseline.” (Cheah, 74:02)

• On Barstool Height Wastage: “A small Asian boy could do his job. We’re wasting 6’6 of man.” (Big Cat, 25:30)

• On Room Service and Hotel Eating: “World’s greatest pleasure...” (Panel, 58:08)

• On Food/Wine Pairing Myths:
  “If you have steak and you have it rare…you could do it with white or Malbec. There’s a lot—it depends on the sauce.” (Ian Cobbler, 77:14)

• On Sommelier Exams:
  “You have to describe the color, clarity, reflection of light, viscosity, concentration of color...the speed of the tears." (Ian Cobbler, 91:10)

• RG3’s Entrance:
  “Who was he?" (Cheah, 88:39)
  “Notes of Hennessy.” (Panel, 85:06)

• Wine Tasting Summed Up:
  “Every time you talk to go to the doctor, something’s really wrong.” (Ian Cobbler, 125:32)

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The Yak’s Wine Adventure—Top Moments

• Cheah’s “unique” tasting notes: Consistently compared most wines to random non-edible objects (balloon, Vaseline, hydrogen, fire extinguisher).
• Ian Cobbler’s patience and encouragement as Cheah fumbles through wine tasting basics, all while wearing a #69 Jaguars jersey.
• RG3’s surprise appearance, uniting the worlds of football and fine wine.
• Educational crash course: Despite (or because of) chaos, genuine wine knowledge gets imparted, especially about wine geography, glassware, and how to spot “legs.”
• Pepsi Challenge “fail”: HR and sponsor tension as Kate misses a sponsored taste test, to great comic effect.

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Notable Timestamps

• 05:00 — Mincy’s dinner antics
• 09:46 — Flag football: White Sox Dave “destroys” a ref
• 24:19–25:30 — Pathetic Titans, Barstool Height Rant
• 67:35–123:45 — Extended Wine Tasting Segment
• 71:14, 80:49, 83:28, 74:02 — Cheah’s wild wine notes
• 82:28, 85:06, 88:39 — RG3’s entrance and jokes
• 91:10–106:12 — Sommelier exam breakdown, wine education
• 127:51–131:44 — Pepsi Challenge segment
• 79:43 — Ian Cobbler: “You’re supposed to hold it by the stem.”

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Tone and Style

The show is relentlessly irreverent, playful, and deeply self-deprecating—none more than Stephen Cheah, whose wine journey is an unfiltered parade of wild analogies and earnestly clumsy questions. The cast banters about sports, food, Barstool inside jokes, and shamelessly highlights their collective lack of athletic and culinary refinement. Moments of legitimate expertise (thanks to Ian) are consistently laced with humor, humility, and spontaneous pivots into the absurd.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Yak is a quintessential Barstool experience: a blur of sports, food, travel, and inimitable group dynamic, capped by an engaging—and side-splitting—wine seminar. Whether you’re a sports fan, aspiring food/wine snob, or just enjoy group chaos, this is a must-listen.

Transcript

[Brandon Walker]

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Kate]

Are you serious?

[Brandon Walker]

I just wanted to be an alien.

[Stephen Shea]

That was incredible. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in day three, the super bowl, and Ron has arrived.

[Che]

Wow. Wow. Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

We also have a master. Master Somalier. Ian Cobbler is going to be here in the second hour, which, if you remember, we had him on what, like a month ago?

[Che]

Yep.

[Stephen Shea]

And we're going to try some wine. He's bringing four bottles of wine for. For Che to taste test. We're going to get Che wasted.

[Che]

We're all going to do it though, right?

[Stephen Shea]

No, you're going to get wasted.

[Che]

I still don't like wine.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay, great. All right, cancel. What do you got on your jersey today?

[Ian Cobbler]

69. Number 69.

[Che]

All right, wording. Very literal.

[Foley]

Very literal.

[Stephen Shea]

I picked that out this morning. I was like, let' just go for it. Double 69.

[G]

At what point in your wine journey do you just give up and say, I don't like wine? I mean, I feel like you've had a lot of wine at this point, and you say you don't like wine. What if you just don't like wine?

[Che]

I've probably had like a dozen about there. There was one that was like, okay, but like, dozen.

[G]

A dozen wine.

[Che]

Yeah. Okay, that's fair, right?

[Foley]

Baker. Baker's dozen wine.

[Che]

Maybe. But yeah, I mean, I think if a, you know, a Pepsi is better than any wine, by kind of, by far.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay, yeah.

[G]

But what I'm saying is if it's by far, I would rather have tax. Waiter, can I get.

[Stephen Shea]

I got my 10.99 here.

[G]

But why not. Why not just give it up? Why not just be like.

[Che]

Because some people love it and I'm sure there are very. Like when we had the. Whatever wine you bought at Don't Point to me. Labor. Darden, which was like, insanely expensive. Was good. Very good.

[Stephen Shea]

I don't even remember that. I think Roan might have ordered that.

[Hank]

I did not. Oh, the price tag.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. We said, what's the most expensive? I want that.

[I]

Yeah.

[Che]

And then she said, you wouldn't like this. And you said, I want.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, yeah, that's right. She dared me. I was like, fuck you. You think we're. That was Rubes.

[Che]

That was pretty good. So I would like to get to a point where I can comfortably talk about it and enjoy it casually. I'm not there yet, but I like trying new things. And learning stuff.

[G]

So you like the culture, but you don't like the wine itself.

[Che]

That's fair to say.

[Hank]

Mark. I think that there's. I think that 35% of wine drinkers who drink it their entire life don't actually like wine. I don't think they do.

[I]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Hank]

I swear to God. People, like are obsessed with it, can differentiate, but don't even like wine.

[G]

It's a big NBA thing now.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[G]

A lot of NBA guys love.

[Hank]

Love wine, which is like, I think it's a status. It's like, I paid this much for this thing.

[G]

Jimmy Butler has like an entire cave in his house of wines.

[Stephen Shea]

LeBron gave his like five year old daughter wine.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

She said it tastes like rocks, which means he's also giving her rocks.

[G]

Yeah, that's a good point. It's a good point.

[Stephen Shea]

Double whammy.

[G]

You should do a collab with LeBron's five year old daughter.

[Stephen Shea]

But yeah, no, it's. It's a little hoity toity, but that's, you know, you could get there. Che.

[Che]

I would like. I would like for the barrier to entry to be lowered so that everyone can just enjoy wine.

[Stephen Shea]

Did you like, Kelly Keegs called you a nerd pervert today.

[Kate]

Did she?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. Kind of a nice compliment.

[Che]

Kind of fair. Yeah.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Hank]

Like, based on what?

[Stephen Shea]

She was just like, he's got pervert energy, but he's like a benign pervert. Like, not a machismo pervert. Which when they described it, her and Pat, like, it made sense. They were like, you don't want a pervert like a stu. Finer pervert. It's a little. You get a little worried sometimes.

[Kate]

That's an overt pervert.

[Hank]

He might act on it.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. Stephen Shea will be perverted, but he'll ask for consent first.

[Che]

Yeah. On the low when it's appropriate.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[I]

Consent on the low.

[Kate]

On the low.

[G]

I ask for consent when it's appropriate.

[Che]

Whisper.

[Stephen Shea]

How's. How's everyone feeling today?

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm.

[Stephen Shea]

My body's broken.

[G]

So sore.

[Stephen Shea]

My body is broken.

[Kate]

I feel fine.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I feel good.

[Stephen Shea]

You and Mincy had a moment.

[Kate]

We did. I mean, he had a moment.

[Brandon Walker]

He flew out here and did the coolest thing imaginable. Just flew right back.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, well, and then he did. Did you see the most recent Tate video?

[Kate]

I have a report from dinner last night.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay. Did you go to dinner with Mincy?

[Kate]

I didn't. I've been reported to from that dinner. There were 11 or 12 people there. Mincy apparently put on an Ordering show. Oh, yeah. At the dinner where I believe he sat down, ordered four appetizers for himself. And then someone else. Someone else at the other end of the table called the waiter over and said, what did he just do? And the waiter said, and then that person then had to order for the table.

[Ian Cobbler]

It was kind of worse than that. We sat down and the waiter came around to get everyone's drink. Like, everybody ordered a drink. And then they got to Mincey and Mincy ordered four appetizers.

[Stephen Shea]

Everybody ordered a beverage and. Well, he doesn't drink.

[Foley]

Well, it was a tapas restaurant where the idea was we were going to work as a team to order for.

[Stephen Shea]

All of us who was there.

[Foley]

It was a. It was a real yakagami of a group.

[Stephen Shea]

Run it down.

[Hank]

Run it down.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, give it to us.

[Foley]

White Sox, Dave, Chief Ebo, me, Danny Mincy, Tate, tj, Dom Moresh. Is that it?

[G]

Yep.

[Stephen Shea]

That's a good. That's a good list.

[Foley]

It was a good list. It was. It was fine list. But it was like supposed to order. You're supposed to order as like a team.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, but what is this photo?

[Ian Cobbler]

What is that?

[Foley]

He knocked his chair over and he.

[Stephen Shea]

He also. So Tate just posted. He had his hand in the chocolate mousse. Yeah, he had his whole arm in the chocolate mousse. Yeah, like he just accidentally just chocolate moussed himself.

[Foley]

I also, before we left for dinner, I was sitting in the lobby with him. And I think you probably all saw Gruden's video.

[Stephen Shea]

Wait, hold on. Here he is. He was eating with his hand. He was like a three year old.

[Brandon Walker]

Who had a mask in that mess.

[Ian Cobbler]

He grabbed a scalp gallop with his bare hands.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, God.

[Hank]

Is that like an atrophied forearm? What am I seeing?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, yeah, the Gruden video. I've watched it so many times. It's the most dudes rock video of all time. Yeah, they just contact.

[Che]

Just always.

[Foley]

But I'm talking about the one, the Mexican flag football team, the national Mexican flag football team is staying in our hotel. And I don't know if you've seen them. They travel in this big group of all bright red jackets and in huge words on the back, it says Mexico. You cannot miss it. I don't know if any of these guys turn around, but it's like 20 dudes with Mexico in huge letters. And they were in the lobby with us before we left last night. And they're turned around, you can see they're full everything. And Minty's like, wow, that's cool.

[Stephen Shea]

I wonder where they're from.

[Foley]

And I'm like, it's Mexico there. Says it everywhere.

[Stephen Shea]

It's like, I gotta. We gotta. We gotta play the Gruden Rich Gannon video. Cuz it's. Yeah, they just, they just are.

[G]

They just.

[Stephen Shea]

They're just joshing each other.

[Brandon Walker]

Looks like a fight. It looks like a fight.

[Stephen Shea]

Hey, I'm walking down San Francisco. I'm here for the super bowl and I run into this guy. I mean, the last time I saw this again, we were fighting on the side. How the hell are you? I'm walking down the street, I'm getting ready to go back to my hotel and some guy's yelling at me. I think, oh my gosh. Yeah, somebody wants an autograph. More importantly, I'm in the Bay Area. Somebody's want to yell. I turn around, he says, chuck the ball down, throw it, don't hold it. I'm like, wait a minute, I know that voice.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hey, we're going to the open coliseum.

[Brandon Walker]

Are they the two loudest dudes in San Francisco?

[Stephen Shea]

Greatest dude.

[Kate]

That place was special. That was, wasn't it? Yeah.

[I]

The only.

[Stephen Shea]

I love the place so much. The only thing that I. I get.

[Ian Cobbler]

Some chills sometimes is when I'm out there.

[Stephen Shea]

Blue 85.

[G]

Where did this come from?

[Stephen Shea]

No, no, get the three for the acres. L. No way.

[Ian Cobbler]

Tennessee on Monday.

[Stephen Shea]

Easy, easy.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hey, 98 bunch crunch. He goes, shut the up, Blue.

[G]

Like this.

[Ian Cobbler]

He goes, yeah.

[Kate]

What?

[Stephen Shea]

This is on the side of the street.

[Kate]

It's over count.

[Ian Cobbler]

Let's hear it.

[Stephen Shea]

I had a good one, bro. Let me Hear it. Blue 85. Blue 85. Two dogs wrestling at a dog park. Oh, man.

[Brandon Walker]

That would have happened without a camera. Yeah, that's what makes that so amazing.

[G]

They touched each other a thousand times.

[Hank]

What the were they talking about?

[I]

They didn't have a.

[Stephen Shea]

It wasn't a conversation. Oh, man.

[G]

Canon was like kind of COVID It's.

[Stephen Shea]

Kind of like nervous like what's Guden.

[G]

Going doing to me coming or something.

[Hank]

Probably had to stop titty twistering when he got in the media.

[Stephen Shea]

He's a famous purple nurple guy. Oh. But yeah, last night was fun. Thank you everyone for tuning in. We had all three games. Were incredible. We had an all time White sox Dave moment.

[Brandon Walker]

2 all time white Sox, all time.

[Stephen Shea]

White Sox Dave moment.

[Ian Cobbler]

He destroyed the ref.

[Stephen Shea]

He like almost swore the ref's ACL on the first play of the game.

[Kate]

No, I did see that.

[Brandon Walker]

He's the least sympathetic.

[Stephen Shea]

He slapped him on the back. He didn't help him up. He's like, get back out there. But, yeah, that one.

[Kate]

And then the CJ got trucked by kic.

[Che]

Yeah, that's.

[Stephen Shea]

I think the White Sox ain't not going out of bounds. As everyone was screaming, go out of bounds.

[Kate]

Did he not understand? Because he stopped and listen, Brandon, I.

[Stephen Shea]

Said it before the drive. I said it. I went to the huddle, I said, we're gonna score with, like, five seconds left, and we're gonna go for three because we can't stop anything.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

And it's still.

[Brandon Walker]

He didn't do it.

[Stephen Shea]

And he came to the sideline. He's like, everyone's calling me Todd Gurley. I was like, yeah, dude, you shouldn't have scored.

[Ian Cobbler]

What do you say in the huddle after.

[Stephen Shea]

He just didn't know. He just said everyone was yelling too much.

[Kate]

But you didn't say.

[G]

He pauses right before the goal line as I. Everyone's screaming, dave, Dave, Dave, Dave.

[Stephen Shea]

Out of bound. Get out of bounds. He's like a.

[G]

He's like a toddler holding a. He's like a toddler holding a vase. And he turned the corner like, no, put it down.

[Stephen Shea]

Put it down.

[G]

I'm going to do it.

[Stephen Shea]

I'm going to.

[G]

More clear, like, what the hell?

[Stephen Shea]

We all were screaming, get out of bed.

[G]

And then his excuse was everybody was yelling at me. I was confused, and I was like, we were yelling the same thing.

[Brandon Walker]

It should have been not confused sequence. It was like, you guys were all synced up.

[G]

We all y one thing for you to do, and you did the exact opposite.

[Stephen Shea]

Also, it's very obvious when the other team is letting you score that you don't do what the other team wants.

[G]

You think it was obvious to everyone but him? I think he thought he was sweet. I think he was like, did I just catch a pass in the backfield and, like, take it to the house? Am I the man?

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man. Yeah. We could have won that game. It was. It was a true quarterback duel.

[Ian Cobbler]

Even Smokes were.

[Stephen Shea]

But, yeah, that was. It was a lot of fun. Although I. The rule that we made. Tate's not here right now. But we were basically like, all right, our team, we're going to win the first game, then we're going to play in the finals against PFT's team. PFT only has five guys. They have to pick up someone from the last round in the finals to make it even, thinking it's going to be mincy. And then we lose, and they pick me up, and I think I play. I Think I got concussed just from lack of oxygen because I was on the field for what felt like three hours straight. And I just like, Dave kept on afterward. Dave was like, it was this. This call, this call. I was like, dude, I don't remember any calls. I just remember whenever you started yelling, I started yelling. I was like, I don't know what happened.

[Brandon Walker]

You look like you just got saved from like the wilderness.

[Stephen Shea]

I was so. Because we kept on scoring so fast, I. I played defense for two straight hours.

[Ian Cobbler]

These refs had no idea what they were getting into. Either one of them came in, he's like, wait, is that John Gruden?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, the ref. The head ref who Dave was arguing with is working the Super Bowl. He's not the ref on the super bowl, but he's doing the official stats for the Super Bowl. So, like, when Ch. I actually was talking to him because I was like, he's like, yeah, people like will complain all the time. I was like, I got the exact guy who complains to you. So like when it's like a four yard run, he'll log four yard run and Che's gonna get angry at him.

[G]

Very funny.

[Ian Cobbler]

Wow.

[G]

Yeah. You're gonna get mad at.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Che]

Dave's prop bets aren't super public. Right before the game.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, Dave was. Dave was like, mean to him. Yeah. Really mean.

[Brandon Walker]

Pretty hurtful things that were said.

[Che]

I will say the calls were a bit crazy.

[Stephen Shea]

I don't even know.

[Che]

There was the catch at the end of the first half that was ruled a touchdown on the field. And then they reviewed it and then overturned it. I thought was a bit.

[Kate]

Our game ended on a tackle.

[G]

Yeah, there's a lot.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[G]

Oh, dude.

[Stephen Shea]

The minute we. They didn't. They weren't calling anything. Dana Beers and I essentially wrestled for two hours.

[G]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Like, if you watch every play, we were just wrestling.

[G]

Marty Mosh got broken in half and the refs were like, that's football.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Bosco just went and trucked him for no reason.

[Hank]

Was Minty out of bounds on his one hander. On his one hander.

[Kate]

They reviewed it.

[Ian Cobbler]

Well, no.

[Brandon Walker]

PFT said he revokes the challenge.

[Hank]

I think that he was out of bounds.

[Stephen Shea]

He might have been.

[Kate]

I don't know. I don't want.

[Stephen Shea]

I was one of those ones. You have to have Mincy have that moment.

[Hank]

I totally agree, but it's like, if you're letting him have that moment, then you gotta. You can't overturn the other one in the. In like the other.

[Brandon Walker]

He wasn't out of bounds.

[Hank]

Are you sure? I think he had one foot. I think his right foot was on the line also.

[Stephen Shea]

Did Mincy was there? Did he think that like the. He can't touch the goal line? Did you see that clip of him just jumping for no reason?

[Kate]

Yeah, I've seen him jumping multiple times.

[Stephen Shea]

He was just jumping over the goal line like a pitcher. Like going over the. The third baseline.

[Hank]

Bad luck.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[I]

Yeah. He needed a moment.

[Brandon Walker]

Well, no, he didn't. Because afterwards he was like, these past six months have been such a heater for me. I was like, there was a week where everybody was just hated you a week.

[Stephen Shea]

But it was a good time.

[G]

I mean, this was another example of us just creating situations where we all get to be like, am I the man? Yeah, right, hol. Holy. A 12 yard touchdown catch.

[Stephen Shea]

Look at this. Oh, I don't know what that jump was.

[Kate]

He did a lot of random jumps.

[Hank]

It's like his user pressed the wrong button.

[Stephen Shea]

Woo.

[Kate]

That's him playing defense on his own guy.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man.

[I]

Doesn't matter. He got a free flight to San Francisco, scored a legacy defining touchdown catch, then got a fist full of chocolate.

[Ian Cobbler]

Day's work, man.

[Stephen Shea]

Raw dogging scallops. What a trip for him.

[G]

And he's gone just like that.

[Stephen Shea]

But that was a lot of fun.

[G]

Like it was fun.

[Che]

It was very fun.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. I hope we do that again next year because it was more fun than the skills competition.

[Che]

Last year was better.

[Hank]

Kate, who's the alpha orderer at your dinner last night?

[Foley]

Miny for himself, I guess, but Moresh kind of took. Knows his way around a menu. Knows his way. White Sox. Dave kind of took the lead on it too.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah. Mincy wasn't too crazy, but he, he ordered the appetizers while we were still on drinks, still got his own entree and his own dessert, but other than.

[Che]

That, yeah, it was pretty one in.

[Kate]

The business for himself.

[I]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

And he gave us a few things too.

[Stephen Shea]

He let you guys eat a little. Yeah, we went to House of Prime Ribbon. There was, I guess, controversy because Eddie Roan. Who else is with you? Marty.

[Hank]

Marty and Jeff.

[G]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

They came in halfway through our dinner and, and Rico, like, was just so mad because he's like, these guys didn't tell me they were having a dinner.

[Kate]

But he was a dinner with.

[G]

He was already at a dinner.

[Stephen Shea]

He was just pissed. And then they, and then Ron ordered milk and then sent us 10 glasses of milk. And Rico's like, I. They know I can't drink milk. This is so we Sent it back. The poor waiter was just standing there with a tray of milk, and we're like, we don't want it.

[Hank]

Why would you send it back?

[Stephen Shea]

He's like, so, no milk? He just kept on saying, so no milk.

[Ian Cobbler]

Well, we were.

[Hank]

There's a. There's somebody staying at our hotel that. There's, like, stories that, like, he loved white girls. And this an athlete.

[Stephen Shea]

And so Donald McNabb.

[Hank]

On the way over. On the way over, we're like, yeah, this guy loves milk. And then we cracked open the menu, and one of the. There's like, five things on the menu. Five things, and one of them was milk. And it's like a tall, frosty glass of milk. And the way they described it made it seem so appealing. It was 250 a cup. So we got a round of milk for us.

[Stephen Shea]

And it was.

[Hank]

It was nice. Yeah, it was kind of nice.

[Stephen Shea]

House of prime rib is awesome. It's. It's literally, the menu is there's big or small prime rib, medium prime rib, big prime rib, and then mashed potato or big potato.

[G]

That's it. That's all I got. Wow.

[Hank]

They also have fish.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, yeah. Ron had fish.

[G]

The fish at the House of Prime Rib.

[Stephen Shea]

He had fish. I was disgusted when I saw it.

[Hank]

Brandon, you might be with me on this one.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Hank]

I don't think that prime rib is the best cut of steak.

[Kate]

I think prime rib is the ultimate. It sounds so great on a menu, and sometimes you get disappointed. I'm sure house of prime rib is an elite prime rib, but I believe your general order in. In society, if you order prime rib, your mind and your heart come up with an idea that it never lives up.

[Stephen Shea]

You would never do the reverse. If you went to a house of fish, you would never get a prime rib.

[Hank]

Of course not. But I like. I like a great cut of fish more than I like a great cut of prime rib. I just. Whenever I'm having a steak, I want the outside. I want a sear on my steak. I want the flavor to be locked in and crust. There's, like, a rawness to a prime rib that just.

[Kate]

When you get to the middle, it's just all. All the same real estate. And it's all.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, it's very red.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's.

[Stephen Shea]

It's probably the reddest food you can eat. Yeah. Beat no.

[Hank]

Purple, dude.

[Kate]

Strawberry.

[Brandon Walker]

That's not red on the inside.

[Stephen Shea]

I don't know, man. This. This prime. It was just like a plate of red.

[Kate]

All right.

[Hank]

Was it amazing?

[Stephen Shea]

It was so Good.

[Hank]

Did you get the skinny cut or.

[Stephen Shea]

I got the medium cut. The thin cut. Medium.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Portion.

[Hank]

Is that. How was that?

[Stephen Shea]

That's delicious.

[Hank]

Yeah, that looked amazing.

[Kate]

I went to a phenomenal seafood place.

[G]

Yeah.

[Kate]

The Tadich Grill.

[Che]

Look at that.

[Kate]

That was a good looking prime rib.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. See a lot of red.

[Brandon Walker]

I think that was gross.

[Stephen Shea]

You can see what the picture was, why he took that picture.

[G]

Who's eating here?

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, Dave is just in his element of just walking around.

[Brandon Walker]

He's in a really good mood.

[Ian Cobbler]

He is.

[Stephen Shea]

He said that, ma, that he, like, ran into Dave for the first time and Dave just had a Patriots hat on and just looked at Max and just pointed to the Patriots hat and that's it. He didn't say anything to Max.

[Kate]

He pointed at your Steelers logo yesterday.

[Che]

Right.

[Brandon Walker]

He, like, rubbed my nipple area and he was like, this is all you got?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

He just saying that.

[Hank]

Is he turning into a grandpa? What's going on? That's grandpa behavior.

[Ian Cobbler]

It.

[Hank]

What did he have.

[Che]

Why.

[Hank]

Why was he doing that to Max? What did Max.

[G]

I don't know.

[Stephen Shea]

To everyone.

[G]

Yeah. He's just like randomly smiling. Yeah.

[Foley]

He came over and stole my nose.

[Stephen Shea]

Found a coin behind my ear, gave me a hard candy, said, someday you'll go to the Super Bowl.

[Foley]

He's handing out butterscotch. And we.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man. It's been a fun couple days, though.

[Hank]

Che looks so good.

[Stephen Shea]

Infuriating.

[Hank]

Are you gonna keep it? What's your plan? Are you gonna keep it for how long?

[Che]

The spots are gonna come out within a week and the bleach is gonna be here for a little bit.

[Stephen Shea]

So you're just gonna be like Eminem, I guess.

[Che]

Yeah. Or June Tao.

[Ian Cobbler]

Or June Tao.

[Che]

Did I tell you that the Junetao is actually. The white guy?

[Kate]

Is the white guy. It's his henchmen. I don't think we ever learned that guy's name, but I knew who you were talking about.

[Hank]

Wipe yourself off. You're bleeding.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Che]

That's a perfect impression. There was a switching gears back to the full thing. There was a moment. I felt so bad for you last night.

[Stephen Shea]

The whole time.

[Che]

The second. It was the second game. So you had just played a back to back game. You were on the bench and you were exhausted and the other team scored in one play.

[Stephen Shea]

Yes, One play that kept on happening.

[Che]

But then the next, I think it was maybe two plays into the drive. They were like at close to the goal line. And you fell down in the end zone and you go, help.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Che]

And you got up. You got up. And then you started covering the play. Was not even kidding. 11 seconds.

[Stephen Shea]

You just had to guard forever. And I had the realization last night because Lisa was like, why don't you just retire? And I realized I was like, I. I love competing and doing these things so much that I'm just gonna play until I have a catastrophic injury. Like, that's not. It's just. That's gonna be the end.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

So whenever that happens, that will be it. But I'm gonna play till that point.

[Che]

Because I will retire you.

[Stephen Shea]

I enjoy. I like getting out there. It's just fun.

[Ian Cobbler]

Fun.

[Stephen Shea]

And I'm so slow and so out of shape. I seriously think I was. I puked last night.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

After dinner. I think I'm concussed from lack of oxygen. I don't know if that's a thing.

[Hank]

That back.

[Stephen Shea]

I didn't breathe for two hours.

[Hank]

That back stretch is crucial, though. The Superman stretch. That's crazy.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man.

[Che]

Speaking of slow, the. The race yesterday. Oh, yeah, that was something.

[Stephen Shea]

He got Dave Portnoy. That poor kid flew all the way out here with his family.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Just to have Dave do Dave.

[Brandon Walker]

They had custom jackets made.

[Kate]

He had a midfield head start. He started at the middle of the field.

[Stephen Shea]

Brandon's the best in this picture. Brandon being like, how.

[Kate]

What are we doing?

[Stephen Shea]

You just have to expect it.

[Kate]

Look at his face.

[Stephen Shea]

I did it again. You kept on saying that. I did it again.

[Kate]

I don't know if the camera picked it up. When Taddeo started, he. He stumbled like, 5.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Kate]

15 yards.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Kate]

He kept, like, standing up and stumbling again like he should have won.

[Ian Cobbler]

But goddamn Dave, he was beat up over that loss, too.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Threw 20, 25 grand in there.

[Ian Cobbler]

Irrelevant.

[Stephen Shea]

Do you have ch. Do you have White Sox? Dave just absolutely crushing that ref. I'm actually surprised there wasn't a real injury. Look at this. This is the first play of the game.

[G]

He helps him.

[Hank]

Just taps him on.

[G]

Watch where you're going.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, he's the best. Did anybody talk to him afterwards? He seemed beat up.

[Stephen Shea]

Well, because it slowly kind of like when he came back to the bench, he's like, what happened? And we all were like, what do you mean, what happened? You. You did the thing that we all said don't do. And he, like, slowly kind of registered. He's like, oh, yeah, I did I that up? Was he. Was he okay at dinner?

[Foley]

He was okay. Physically, he, like, could not stand up.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, he played a lot of stuff.

[Foley]

Physically.

[Stephen Shea]

He was really struggling.

[Foley]

It seemed all those people this morning.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Is that Hogdale over there. I've never met Hogdale.

[Foley]

Where is he?

[Stephen Shea]

Hogdale over there.

[Kate]

Sneaky tall.

[Che]

He's up.

[Stephen Shea]

Sneaky tall. He's. He's.

[Ian Cobbler]

He.

[Stephen Shea]

He's joined our pathetic Titan group.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, he's another one.

[Brandon Walker]

Another one of the hundreds.

[Stephen Shea]

KB's rant a couple weeks ago. That barstool just creates pathetic Titans. We just all waste our height.

[Hank]

That's so funny.

[Stephen Shea]

Dana and Katic and Deutsch, Rick, Everybod.

[Brandon Walker]

So Brandon.

[Stephen Shea]

We all should just be like the pinnacle of everything and we're just nothing.

[I]

Then you play against each other.

[Ian Cobbler]

Play against each other and beat each other.

[I]

You're good. Like you're posting like highlights on X.

[Stephen Shea]

It was great. It was great too, cuz you went on the rant and that night it was. It was Dana, Kic and Deutsch playing beer pong and it was just the most pathetic Titans possible. We're a house of pathetic Titans.

[Hank]

That's so brutal.

[Stephen Shea]

But yeah, Hogdale's like 63 at least. Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Look at that.

[Stephen Shea]

How tall are you, Hogdale? Six three.

[Hank]

Yeah, Right on it.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

What a waste.

[Stephen Shea]

Add him to the line.

[Hank]

Who's the most pathetic to you of the Titans?

[I]

Who do we got?

[Brandon Walker]

White Boy Rick is a monster.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, White Boy Rick is a legit monster.

[Hank]

Like, he should be in the league. You mean like what?

[Brandon Walker]

I don't think he. He's never done anything.

[Stephen Shea]

He's just good at posting on Twitter.

[Brandon Walker]

You don't need to be huge for that.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, give it up.

[I]

Stealing our jobs.

[Stephen Shea]

A small Asian boy could do his job. We're just wasting 6. 6 of manes.

[I]

Just be throwing logs in Scandinavia doing L Jack games.

[Stephen Shea]

Instead he's posting old clips of the office because James Harden got trained again. Yeah, he should. Yeah, he should be like a captain of a ship or something.

[I]

Yeah. We got guys who are 65250.

[Brandon Walker]

God is mad at Rick.

[Hank]

At least going to battle. At least send him to war.

[Stephen Shea]

Strength. Like, yeah, he should have a kingdom.

[Hank]

Barstool has always been sneakily tall. When I first got hired 10 years ago that I feel like I was like kind of shocked at how tall everybody is.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, we waste it all.

[Hank]

Even like K's.

[I]

I kind of tall all of you guys.

[Stephen Shea]

This should be like, Ron, you're sneaky tall.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Che]

R you.

[Brandon Walker]

You're like six one.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Hank]

It's a waste.

[Che]

We all.

[Stephen Shea]

Every time I look at Danny Conrad's shoes, I'm like, are those like those. You don't have those size shoes? He is. He's a big man. 12, brother. You played well yesterday, Danny.

[Brandon Walker]

It's everybody but Kyle.

[G]

Yes, that's the number.

[I]

People meet me in person. They're like, holy, dude. I'm on a minstrel show with guys.

[G]

Who should be playing for the Sioux Fall Sky Force.

[I]

You guys should be G league centers. You guys are tall as hell. Stand up, like, reevaluate your lives.

[Ian Cobbler]

You're gonna shame us out of this job.

[Stephen Shea]

We do have the most wasted height of any job.

[Hank]

Easily trying to think if there's anything.

[Stephen Shea]

Else, because no part of our job needs, Needs height. Yeah, there's nothing.

[Hank]

There's so much sitting involved with.

[Stephen Shea]

True.

[Hank]

The job that it's, like, bad for the, the lumbar spine.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. I guess that would be the one thing. Like, you're gonna go funerals.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

You're built for podcast.

[I]

You guys are mass.

[Stephen Shea]

Check another pathetic titan off the box. Down the list. Oh, man. All right, let's do a quick ad. Draft Kings. What are we, what are we thinking? Have you made a bet yet, Brandon?

[Kate]

No, but I, I, I, I think Seahawks.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, I do, too.

[Che]

Four.

[Hank]

And as soon as the line came out, four and a half. Took the four and a half. Sorry.

[Stephen Shea]

I think there's going to be, I think there's blowout potential. I'm also taking tails for a lot.

[Kate]

Yeah, you said that yesterday, if you had won the 35k, you were going to put it all on tails.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, you kind of did win the 35k.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, but, yeah, but I was, I was a mercenary. I didn't take any of that.

[Kate]

He didn't captain win it.

[Stephen Shea]

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[J]

We.

[Stephen Shea]

We went to Santa Clara yesterday and interviewed Jake Bobo for Friday's PMT. And Max, he lied. Bet Jake Bobo 35 to 1 to score a touchdown. The NFC championship game hit. And then he invited Jake Bobo to his wedding. And I think Jake Bo is going to go. He was like, you helped pay for my wedding, so you get an invite. And he's like, okay, cool. I probably be there.

[Hank]

So sick. I love the question that you asked Cooper cup at media day.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, yeah. It was good, right? Can't win or must lose or must win or can't lose. Do you think Will's doing that on purpose? No, I don't either.

[Kate]

I don't think he's.

[Hank]

He has no idea he's doing it.

[Stephen Shea]

No. I think he's one of those guys that he sees something, and then the next day he wakes up, he's like, that was a good idea by me.

[G]

Yeah. Right?

[Brandon Walker]

You don't think he has the ability to be tongue and cheek.

[Ian Cobbler]

Cheek.

[Stephen Shea]

He does. I mean, Will's very, very funny, but I.

[Hank]

That wasn't. That.

[Stephen Shea]

That. Yeah. And then they did do which?

[Brandon Walker]

The invisible baseball.

[Stephen Shea]

They did the invisible baseball.

[Ian Cobbler]

They're gonna start riffing about pathetic Titans. Yeah.

[Che]

Soon.

[G]

First guys.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

There it is. They did it a mere 24 hours after we did it.

[G]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Foley]

But did he get two home runs or.

[Brandon Walker]

Probably.

[Ian Cobbler]

Did you see his tweet about the.

[J]

Pilot on the plane, too?

[Stephen Shea]

What have we done? Have we completed any tasks we update?

[Kate]

Well, we're. We're.

[Stephen Shea]

You're twinning.

[Kate]

We're twinning.

[G]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

I pooped. I have.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, yeah.

[Hank]

Wait.

[G]

I'm enjoying my week, too. I was one of my.

[Stephen Shea]

My shirt cold.

[Ian Cobbler]

This.

[Stephen Shea]

You bought this for Colton, right?

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

It actually. I feel like invincible in it.

[Che]

It's.

[Hank]

Why?

[Stephen Shea]

I don't know. I just like, something about it. It's like, you got to respect a guy in an 8XL shirt.

[Foley]

That's a big, like, at Myrtle Beach.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, that's a swim shirt.

[Kate]

What's your step count at Kate?

[Foley]

I'm hitting 50,000, so I'm like, about halfway.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Foley]

So I think I got that. And then I just have to find the power station. People sent me a few good power stations.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay.

[Foley]

So I can't get to the one right next to the stadium.

[Stephen Shea]

Steven, did you bond with anyone yesterday?

[Che]

Yes, some. I believe his name is Howie. He asked my autograph to sign a PMT car stick on the way out. So we talked for a minute.

[Stephen Shea]

Howie's a great bonding name.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Meet someone named Howie.

[Che]

Yeah. I don't know if he got to any of you guys to sign Carsic, but he was, like, kind of outside the hotel. Carsic. Very cool. Very niche thing for barstool.

[Ian Cobbler]

He was there to check out.

[Stephen Shea]

It's a stick.

[Che]

But is. Is that a proprietary thing like, we. I've never seen?

[Kate]

No.

[Stephen Shea]

Hank invented his stick.

[G]

Busin sells one. Bus has one too. So it's not really.

[J]

I don't.

[Brandon Walker]

They're waiting till Grit week to.

[Foley]

Well, yesterday during the flag football, people had started to gather around the edge and watch, and this guy had on the Yak sweatshirt.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, I saw him.

[Foley]

So I see him, and, you know, I'm talking. I see him out the corner of my eye, and I wave. I'm like, hey, the Yak. And he goes and he pulls out his kiss coin. And I was like, whoa, Shout out, Eli. We made out pretty hard. It was pretty sick.

[Stephen Shea]

So wait, so tell us about Howie.

[Che]

Howie was good. He's in town for the Super Bowl.

[I]

Weird.

[Stephen Shea]

Wow.

[Che]

He came early to enjoy.

[Ian Cobbler]

Interesting character.

[Kate]

Holy.

[Ian Cobbler]

He came early.

[Stephen Shea]

He found a one of one.

[Che]

Came early to enjoy the festivities. I. I didn't. I didn't get gathered. He was a fan of either team, but he was a local guy and. Or, sorry, not local to San Francisco, but he's a California guy and. Yeah, just here for the sights and to see Barcelona stuff and football stuff.

[G]

All right.

[Stephen Shea]

I don't like. I don't like San Francisco as a Super bowl city. I'll say it.

[Foley]

Why?

[Ian Cobbler]

I don't either.

[Stephen Shea]

I like San Francisco a lot. I just don't think it, like, meshes well with the super bowl because the.

[Foley]

Stadium'S so far away.

[Stephen Shea]

So far away. It's also like. I don't know, like, New Orleans is just the perfect. I think it's coming off of New Orleans, which is there. You just can't get a better because everything in New Orleans is right there.

[Foley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Tough act to follow.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, I know.

[Foley]

They're shutting down Chinatown today and turning into, like, a giant block party. So maybe that'll change your heart.

[Stephen Shea]

No, definitely not.

[Foley]

Okay.

[Brandon Walker]

Nothing screams super bowl like a Chinatown block party.

[Stephen Shea]

Like, when we were in New Orleans, like, you could feel the super bowl was there. Like here, it's just like, people are just going about their life.

[G]

Too much going on.

[Stephen Shea]

There happens to be a Super Bowl.

[Che]

Right.

[Hank]

You know, we got to put some memorabilia on the homeless just to kind of give it a little feel, a.

[Ian Cobbler]

Little up a little bit.

[Stephen Shea]

Get him some Sam Darnel jersey helmet.

[Hank]

Yeah, that'd be nice. Some fanatics gear.

[Stephen Shea]

Helmet fanatics gear. They probably be like this.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm not wearing this.

[Brandon Walker]

Not even wearing this on the field.

[Stephen Shea]

The numbers peeling off already. I didn't order this.

[Hank]

We got to talk to Michael Rubin about. About that.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, it's bad. He's too interested in the white party, which actually, I don't think he did this year.

[Che]

So what. What is the exact story with fanatics? You were kind of explaining it to me in the car last night.

[Brandon Walker]

The super bowl jerseys they're selling aren't the jerseys that they're wearing for the Super Bowl.

[Che]

How. How is that missed?

[Kate]

They're very cheap. How did.

[G]

How did they own the world? How did that happen? That kind of happened overnight. So they were probably.

[Hank]

He's got to be. He's got to have some kind of island. Yeah, there's some kind of deals that he's making that he got in there. And, I mean, he must have just promised a great deal, but it's come at the expense of the merchandise that everyone's wearing.

[G]

What do you think of the.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, they apologize. I mean, it's. It's a classic. Like, this is not to. To get into capitalism, but they. They basically monopolize the market, and then they can just make the product shitty.

[G]

Yeah. Do it.

[Stephen Shea]

And it's like, what are you going to do about it?

[G]

What do you think of the Jeff de Lo fication of the super bowl jerseys?

[Stephen Shea]

What do you mean?

[G]

Million patches. You see all the patches?

[Kate]

Oh, my God. There's a lot of patches.

[Foley]

A lot of patches on the actual jerseys.

[Kate]

Patch, patch, patch, patch, patch.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, no.

[Che]

Connor had a good tik tok about it.

[Foley]

It's like a nascar. Yeah.

[G]

Become just so many patches. Look at this.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, that's too many. What's the USA A lot of flare.

[Brandon Walker]

It's our 250 50th birthday.

[Stephen Shea]

That doesn't need to be. I agree. In the Super Bowl.

[Che]

I agree.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's gonna be everywhere.

[Kate]

C.J. says this is the year. We're gonna do it on every sport. Every. Everybody's gonna be wearing it.

[Ian Cobbler]

See a lot of that logo.

[Stephen Shea]

But the NFL doesn't even want to play football in America anymore.

[G]

Right.

[Stephen Shea]

So that's counterintuitive. They're gonna make us go to Australia.

[G]

That's just too many patches.

[I]

Too many patches and racism.

[Ian Cobbler]

1 still 50 is on the back of the helmet.

[Stephen Shea]

Stop the hate.

[Che]

Choose Love Seahawks, 50 50th season. So it's just for them.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay, so they have a 250 and a 50.

[Che]

Yeah.

[G]

Wow.

[Stephen Shea]

They should have just been. They should have been a 250 and then it divided by five. One patch.

[G]

Yeah, There should just be one patch. There should just be one.

[Brandon Walker]

300.

[Stephen Shea]

One big patch.

[G]

A lot of happened a bunch of years ago.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. Just like one big patch that just says, this patch is for whatever you want it to be. Choose your own adventure.

[G]

Cause here.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, you're at here.

[Hank]

But you know, someone's putting a penis on their shoulder if they do that.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, that's true.

[G]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Classic.

[G]

You ever go back and look at the bubble NBA jerseys?

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, my God.

[G]

Who's the education reform.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. It was like, child literacy.

[G]

That's so funny.

[Brandon Walker]

Wait, was instead on the back of their jersey?

[G]

Yeah, on the back of the jerseys. It would just say, like, education reform. Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Did you. By the way, did you. Did you talk to Mike Conley at all? I mean, he's not a bull anymore.

[G]

He's not a bull. Yeah. I think it's. Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

We were breaking it down.

[G]

I. I was going to text him right away, and then I thought about it, and I was like, this is. I'm going to curse because I. I do think there's, like, less than 1% chance that, like, somehow the paperwork gets up and he station. I want him in Chicago. That be awesome. It's not going to happen, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to jinx it. The. The waiting for it to. Officially.

[Stephen Shea]

When we broke down the Bulls trades on pmt, I said the first thought I had was, oh, Titus is really good. Friends of Mike Conley. He's probably going to come to the office. And then we taped it. And then like, two hours later is like, Mike Conley will not be playing.

[G]

There's no world is going to play for the Bulls. Yeah. I got very excited, though, when you called me.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[G]

You broke the news to me.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, I was excited 24 hours ago.

[G]

Yeah.

[Hank]

So where's he going to? He's just going to buy out and just wind up on a contender.

[G]

I don't know where.

[Hank]

Maybe Houston. Houston would make sense. Kind of need some point guard help. I don't know.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, you know, now you know. You. You tuned into the ball.

[Hank]

Do I know? James Harden trade. That's a big one and exciting.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, he's. Do you think he's like. Do you think he, like, just can't be in one place? Like, he has, like, a phobia of being in one place because it's gotten so ridiculous.

[G]

Gets antsy.

[Hank]

Leaving LA for Cleveland really proves that, because you think it's like, oh, that's the apex destination.

[Stephen Shea]

He also does it in such funny way. He just disappeared from the team. Like, they went to Phoenix. They asked Ty, Lou. They went to Phoenix. They had a game in Phoenix. They had a game like two days later. He just stayed in Arizona. Went to Arizona State game.

[G]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

And they're like, tyloo, where is he? Like, we don't really know. And like, the year that he got fat. He doesn't. He's really good at it. He's really good at getting treated.

[Che]

When he did that, he got like regular James Harden shape, like, almost instantly. As soon as he got treated, I.

[Stephen Shea]

Think he was just like. I think he just drank, like a lot of water right before the game. Just had his belly out.

[Hank]

I know. I'm just a fan who doesn't know the ins and outs of being a pro athlete, but is he a bad guy?

[Che]

He's a strip club guy. That doesn't make you a bad guy.

[Foley]

We have. We have strip club guys.

[Ian Cobbler]

Great guys are bad.

[Foley]

Yeah. Jack McCarthy.

[Hank]

Or maybe he's just a un. You know, a restless soul.

[Brandon Walker]

He's a vagabond.

[Ian Cobbler]

Misunderstood.

[G]

That's right.

[Stephen Shea]

Might be a true robber.

[Che]

That'd be cool.

[Stephen Shea]

He has to get out of town.

[Kate]

He has a horse. He has a horse tied up outside the arena.

[Stephen Shea]

He's like, I've been here for a year now. They're gonna get on to me. I gotta get out of here.

[Kate]

Gotta blow this joint.

[Che]

When was the last great bank robbery?

[Stephen Shea]

Good question.

[Kate]

The movie Heat.

[Stephen Shea]

I mean, those. Well, there was a bank robbery, but they. The Louvre, like, six months ago. Yeah, but they caught all those guys.

[Brandon Walker]

Did you see how did the crown Is.

[Stephen Shea]

Is it.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's crumpled it.

[Hank]

They were wearing it. They were like wearing it out.

[G]

Yeah, they're just.

[Hank]

They're like going to bur.

[Stephen Shea]

I mean, why else would you steal it?

[Brandon Walker]

They would blend in at Burger King.

[Stephen Shea]

When was the last great bank robbery that someone got away with?

[Che]

I watched some documentary maybe a year or two ago that there were. In Seattle. There was one guy who hit like, I think it was Seattle. Hit like eight banks. And he lived in like a tree. A very elaborate tree house in the forest. And that was just how he made his living. And he lived like a pretty.

[G]

I saw lavish lifestyle. I watched this one too.

[Che]

Yeah, it was interesting.

[G]

Like, treehouse is crazy.

[Che]

Yes. It was like a mansion in a tree.

[Kate]

Yeah, a tree mansion.

[Che]

Yeah. It was sick.

[Kate]

I'd like to see that part of it.

[G]

I almost like felt bad. I was almost like cheering for him. Yeah, Yeah. I was watching. I was like, this guy's awesome.

[Che]

But the way, the way it goes now with all the cell phone tracking and not even like the open the bag and the ink comes out but like there's so much.

[Hank]

People are getting away with it and they just don't want you to know. It doesn't make the. When somebody's doing it really well.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, they should. I. I still think it would be like, we have the dumbest Baghdad.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, wow.

[Che]

When was that?

[Stephen Shea]

We have the. We have the dumbest. Like who's. Who's still axe throwing. There's still axe throwing places everywhere. Why can't we make one of them? Like a bank robbery simulation bar would be amaz. Oh, that would be really. I mean that would be so much fun.

[Kate]

Like in a skate room kind of.

[Stephen Shea]

Business where you, you, you have to go like, stake it out. You rent it for an hour. You get like, you know, 30 minutes to plan with your. To survive. If you, if you get it, the money, you get like free drinks.

[G]

They should do that with Alcatraz. Do like a game show.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[G]

Escape from Alcatraz successfully.

[Stephen Shea]

They would be so awesome. I would love to do that.

[G]

Guards have like paintball guns.

[Brandon Walker]

That'll be. Oh my God. That'd be awesome.

[G]

You can't get hit by the guards.

[Ian Cobbler]

There was a kid from my high school who robbed a bank and Eddie interviewed him on dog walk.

[J]

I think he was living in like North Dakota.

[Che]

But they.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, I remember that guy.

[Ian Cobbler]

That was awesome interview. But they, they found out it was him because he used his credit card back in Chicago to buy the mask and they traced it back. They really know it was his own bank too, though.

[Che]

Ah.

[Stephen Shea]

The.

[Brandon Walker]

The town next to Kyle And I. They do. You could sign up for a prison riot and you could choose which side you want to be on.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, that's sick.

[Hank]

Which is more popular?

[Brandon Walker]

The cops.

[Stephen Shea]

The guys with the baton, they would.

[I]

Always try to get me to go. It's like, come on. You'll get pepper spray.

[Stephen Shea]

It's.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, yeah. Just get beat up in the yard.

[I]

Beat up.

[Brandon Walker]

Let's go down to the penitentiary.

[Stephen Shea]

Drunk.

[Foley]

Drunk driving simulator.

[Stephen Shea]

Goggles that we got.

[Foley]

Yeah, but an actual track. I get to actually.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, they should let you do that.

[Stephen Shea]

The wayos freak me out.

[Brandon Walker]

I, I, I done one every day.

[Stephen Shea]

Really?

[Che]

Every day?

[Ian Cobbler]

Day.

[Stephen Shea]

I can't do it.

[Che]

All right.

[I]

Wait.

[Stephen Shea]

What are we going to do? We're doing. What was it? Tj can you do Pizza Hut? Pizza Hut.

[G]

Oh, I'm supposed to go, right?

[Stephen Shea]

Let's go.

[G]

All right.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, we got a. We got a new trade too. The mavericks are trading 10 time NBA All Star Anthony Davis, Jaden Hardy, D' Angelo Russell and Dante Exum. Dante Exum still in the league?

[Kate]

I didn't know that either.

[Stephen Shea]

To the Washington Wizards for Chris Middleton, AJ Johnson, Malachi Branham and Marvin Bagg.

[I]

Ugly.

[Hank]

What the.

[Che]

There's no.

[Stephen Shea]

The Wizards are just so many names in that.

[Hank]

So the Wizards are all in.

[Che]

And two first round picks and three second rounders.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay.

[Hank]

But the Wizards are keeping Sar Koulibali, Bub Carrington.

[Che]

And they have Trey Young play.

[Hank]

Yeah, I mean that's. Are the Wizards stacked?

[Stephen Shea]

It might be.

[Hank]

Wizards might be stacked.

[Stephen Shea]

I actually like that because I don't want the Bulls to get the 9th or 10th seeding again.

[Hank]

Right.

[Stephen Shea]

That would suck playing. They're the playing Warriors. All right. Pizza Hut. Football's better with the big New Yorker from Pizza Hut. Big enough to feed your whole crew for the biggest game. Massive. With slices so big you have to fold them. Don't forget to pizza before the hut. And order the big New Yorker for just $10 for a limited time.

[Che]

Now.

[Stephen Shea]

And we have Titus over there. Pizza Hut pizza. That was great.

[Foley]

That was pretty good.

[Hank]

Canon with blush. Now give that, Give that mannequin a titty twister. Like a real football guy.

[Stephen Shea]

Rich Gannon. He's a good silver fox.

[Hank]

He is good St. Joe's Prep guy too.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Hank]

Same high school guys.

[Stephen Shea]

Delaware.

[Hank]

Delaware guy.

[Stephen Shea]

Delaware. Henry in.

[Che]

Oh.

[Stephen Shea]

Load it. There you go.

[Kate]

All right.

[Hank]

How apparatus is that?

[Brandon Walker]

Could we have just gotten a man for that?

[Stephen Shea]

Just had Foli. Fol would have loved to do that. He would have been.

[Hank]

Yeah. Foley, get in that get in those pads.

[G]

Come on.

[Stephen Shea]

Get in there.

[Ian Cobbler]

Fols.

[Brandon Walker]

Every day is the best day of his life.

[Stephen Shea]

He just. He went to. Went to flag football. Just flew his little drone around the whole time.

[Brandon Walker]

No, he did something better before that.

[Che]

What do.

[Brandon Walker]

Dave was complaining about his leg hurting.

[G]

Oh, my God. That was. That's way better.

[Hank]

That was awesome.

[Brandon Walker]

Dave was complaining about his leg hurting. And Fasoli pops out of nowhere and goes, you need Icy Hot. And it was an unused Icy Hot that I think he had ready, just if Dave.

[Stephen Shea]

Just in case Dave gets hurt.

[Brandon Walker]

So happy that Dave used his Icy Hot.

[Stephen Shea]

You are the.

[J]

He.

[Stephen Shea]

He's. What's his name? What's the guy's name in Veep? Buster Bluth?

[Hank]

Gary Tony Hale. Is that Gary?

[Stephen Shea]

Is it Gary?

[Ian Cobbler]

Gary?

[Che]

Yep.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, he's. He's Dave's Gary.

[G]

You got a high school mixtape, don't you?

[Brandon Walker]

There's the Icy Hot.

[Stephen Shea]

There's the ice yacht.

[G]

Don't. Do you have a high school mixtape?

[Hank]

Rivals. Let's see if he has.

[Stephen Shea]

T.j. please.

[G]

Yeah, we've. We've watched it before.

[Hank]

I love it.

[Stephen Shea]

So deep time guy. He's just a guy.

[Hank]

He said he's been spending a little bit of time at night just like thinking about what's. What's to come this week. You got to anticipate.

[Stephen Shea]

Where are you, Fasoli? This is the most high school football play ever.

[G]

All right, here we go.

[Stephen Shea]

Yep. Bang.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, that was a nice block.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay.

[Kate]

He'S up there somewhere.

[Stephen Shea]

Bang. Go right in the end zone.

[Hank]

What offense is this?

[Stephen Shea]

Mash together offense. Possible double wing only. Oh, that's awesome.

[Ian Cobbler]

That's insane.

[Stephen Shea]

The hardest football.

[Kate]

11 guys as close as possible.

[I]

Circle around everyone.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Why do they even have defensive backs on the field?

[I]

I'm a team, not a guy.

[Stephen Shea]

Are you running the tush push?

[Kate]

No, but doesn't have an arrow there.

[J]

Six foot five and he was the worst at this because he was way too tall for double wings.

[G]

He was 6 foot 5 with a cannon.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man.

[Hank]

This is disgusting. Your poor parents.

[Stephen Shea]

This is the clown car office.

[Brandon Walker]

Watch this every week.

[Hank]

Empty ass bleachers.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, just be like, great game for somebody, I think.

[Brandon Walker]

Was it? There's no way. This was fun.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, it was.

[G]

Poor quarterback.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man.

[Hank]

Detached tackles.

[G]

6, 5, 2, 3 Rocket arm. Great touch.

[Kate]

Our quarterback was a 6, 5 beast.

[G]

Unfortunately, we just had him hand off.

[Stephen Shea]

There's only in there. Oh. Yep.

[Hank]

Because the quarterback has to do a lot of blocking in this offense too, right?

[Stephen Shea]

Two of your four concussions. What were the other two One in.

[J]

College drunk and the other one was in college, but I passed out from heat exhaustion.

[I]

Not drunk.

[Ian Cobbler]

Not drunk.

[Stephen Shea]

Not drunk.

[Ian Cobbler]

Not drunk.

[I]

Jesus.

[G]

Yeah. These are the offense where the quarterback like gets.

[Che]

Yeah.

[G]

Puts his ass on the ground. That's like a high school thing. You don't see that at any other level.

[J]

Getting under center, too tall to do the pivoting.

[Stephen Shea]

How many passes did you guys throw?

[J]

Maybe one flag route.

[Stephen Shea]

Ever.

[Kate]

Ever.

[Brandon Walker]

This sucks.

[Che]

Yeah.

[J]

We're also like 4 and 50 by the time I graduate.

[Kate]

So.

[G]

It didn't even work.

[J]

Coach never changed.

[G]

Not only is it not always much, it's.

[Stephen Shea]

It's boring and ineffective. That's so good.

[Che]

So you're down by 20. Just running this down the field always.

[G]

If you're gonna lose, at least like have some fun. You're gonna lose. Air it out. Have some fun. Throw some picks. Who gives a.

[Hank]

Did you have receivers or what? Like just flankers? That kind of just.

[J]

We, we had receivers but like he just didn't like running like other offensive styles and then. But our quarterback, he actually tried out for the. The Packet packers last year.

[Kate]

What?

[J]

He's legit. Like he's been on NFL.

[Stephen Shea]

What's his name?

[J]

James Cahoon.

[Kate]

And he wasn't allowed to throw a pass in high school.

[Stephen Shea]

That's incredible.

[J]

James Cahoon. He tried to modern breath xfl. But he, he.

[Kate]

Your quarterback is in the XFL from this offense.

[Brandon Walker]

He's got a fresh arm. No wear and tear.

[G]

Dude.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh man.

[Che]

Would it be worse to be the quarterback or a receiver? Everyone, center, everyone.

[G]

I think the running back is having fun. And no one else running back ran for 370 yards a day and they lost 100 carries.

[Hank]

There was no long runs though. In your highlight tape. There wasn't even like a 12 yard run.

[Ian Cobbler]

There's 12.

[Hank]

There's a 12. I'm not criticizing you. That's nuts.

[I]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Ball, you were four and eight.

[G]

I know you got bullied.

[Che]

What do you mean by bully ball?

[G]

We're really be.

[Hank]

But low key center is like the most important part of that.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Big time.

[Hank]

So it's kind of nice for you.

[Kate]

Like to point out again, they were four and eight.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Is he still coaching there? No.

[Stephen Shea]

Where's your mic?

[Ian Cobbler]

He retired.

[Che]

They scrolled off with the mic. They molded the offense around Foli.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. The whole program went to.

[Che]

Yeah. They won like 10 games.

[J]

He was my math teacher. Teacher. And we called it max coloring class because I was so bad at math. But that's how I got through high School.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, I love you. Facility.

[Hank]

Like, we got this black kid at center.

[J]

I was the darkest kid.

[Brandon Walker]

You're one of the most ambiguous beings.

[Ian Cobbler]

I've ever seen in my life.

[Brandon Walker]

I can't tell.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, he could be a lot of races.

[Brandon Walker]

He could be Polynesian or like Middle Eastern.

[J]

I said it since the. Like I came here five years ago. He. He wanted to do a series about finding Fol's family, but just going to everywhere around the world.

[Brandon Walker]

I remember Wanton Don posted you on a story. He said, what is he? And then people were answering. They just couldn't figure it out.

[Stephen Shea]

It was like 200 replies. I still laugh every now and then about your. Your grandfather. Guido.

[J]

Yeah, Guido.

[Stephen Shea]

He has the same exact face as you. Look just the same smile.

[Kate]

Can I say what you did in the Uber last night?

[G]

What did I do?

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, yeah, Kyle.

[Kate]

We. We were at. We had an. A driver that was much like Fasoli. And he. He engaged, was in conversation. He was talking to us and he said, guess what? I am. And Kyle. Kyle goes, so what's your name? He told. Told your name.

[Hank]

What was it?

[Kate]

And then it was Ipsum. Ipsum. Muhammad, Something like that. It. I don't. I don't remember. But it was. It was something. Something to that effect.

[Hank]

So Muslim.

[Kate]

And then. And then his. He. Kyle said, are you northern or southern hemisphere? The guy says, close to the equator. And Kyle goes, you're Ethiopian. And the guy was Ethiopian.

[Ian Cobbler]

No, lost it.

[Kate]

And then Kyle spent the next 45 minutes telling the guy about Ethiopia.

[Stephen Shea]

You were telling him Ethiopia?

[I]

I was explaining it, yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Did you teach him anything?

[Ian Cobbler]

I did.

[I]

Dude. We. Me and Brandon were running like a swoon train on this.

[Kate]

Right?

[Hank]

Have a look. They have a specific.

[I]

We were talking about. It's the most beautiful race of women, at least in the world.

[Foley]

Okay.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[I]

Beautiful women and smoothest brown skin.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was a. It was. It was a great override.

[Hank]

They're also in the year 2017 or something like that.

[Kate]

What, Ethiopia?

[I]

Yeah, yeah. They're doing fidget spinners.

[Hank]

They have 13 months. They have 13 months of the year. And they're just like a couple years off from us.

[Foley]

Us.

[Stephen Shea]

And they're all just beast runners.

[Kate]

He was delightful.

[I]

It's a amazing place in the mountains. Ancient civilization.

[Stephen Shea]

The.

[I]

The capital is beautiful. Lots of greenery. Adisa Baba. It looks like a very nice modern city. East Africa.

[Hank]

I went to a wedding there.

[I]

You did what?

[Hank]

Yeah, in Ethiopia.

[Brandon Walker]

How'd you like it?

[Hank]

It's beautiful. The city's like separated into like districts of like, there's like the toilet district.

[I]

Yeah, there is the toilet.

[Hank]

You drive around. It's just toilets for blocks. Just like toilets outside. And they sent us to the. The wedding clothes district and they told us to, like, get clothes for the wedding. And we got traditional Ethiopian garb. We had to barter for all the clothes with people from Ethiopia with no Ethiopian guide. And we like. I was dressed like a waiter at a Polynesian resort. My wife had like a headdress and like jewels on her forehead. And we walked into the wedding and everybody was dressed in like, Tom Ford suits. We were the only, like, white people. And we were dressed like, like absolute circus clowns.

[Foley]

That Nancy Pelosi picture of her in the full garb.

[G]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Hank]

The kente cloth or whatever. The kente cloth. It was so embarrassing. People were coming up to take pictures with, with us and there's like eight Ethiopian, like, sects of like, different tribes. And we were even dressed for the wrong tribe, even if we had been within it. It was so shameful. Beautiful, Beautiful country, though.

[G]

Yep.

[I]

In the mountains. So not like hot like other African countries. Yeah, yeah.

[Hank]

It's very cool.

[I]

Cool language. The letters are like real long.

[Hank]

They've never been long letters.

[I]

Yeah, yeah. Like, look it up.

[Hank]

They've never been colonized.

[I]

They got tall ass letters like, oh, my God, what a long, long letter. It's going way too far down.

[Hank]

I think the Italians tried to colonize them. They're the only people that got close.

[I]

They got in a brutal war.

[Hank]

And so there's like just tons of spaghetti, like, everywhere.

[I]

Lot of spaghetti.

[Hank]

Spaghetti. There's still. You can get spaghetti everywhere. But they're like one of the only African countries, maybe the only one that's never been colonized.

[Kate]

Nice.

[Hank]

Is that the only one it could be? I'm not trying to hijack your facts.

[Brandon Walker]

I need to see these Ethiopian letters.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, no, I'm going to be impressed. Can they dunk?

[Hank]

No, the letters, those are fun.

[Stephen Shea]

Maybe those are pretty long.

[I]

You kind of got to look at them. Like when you see an Ethiopian video on tik tok and the comments are all like, goofy ass long letters.

[Che]

You're.

[Brandon Walker]

That's your algorithm.

[Stephen Shea]

You're watching Ethiopian TikTok.

[Brandon Walker]

Ethiopian TikTok.

[Che]

Tik toks.

[I]

Just like reviews. The only thing you can do.

[Ian Cobbler]

Ethiopian spaghetti review.

[Foley]

Kb, I saw a tik tok today from. I had like 600,000 likes, but it was a girl who got that same surgery as you.

[I]

I was sent and it was.

[Foley]

Oh, you were. I'm sure you Were tagged in a million times, but it's her trying to burp, and she does a burp, but it's not a normal burp.

[G]

Is she doing okay?

[Hank]

Your already sounds better than last week.

[Stephen Shea]

You do sound better.

[Foley]

You do. You sound a lot.

[I]

But I'm not, like, burping. I'm just bloated.

[Brandon Walker]

The whole purpose.

[I]

Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

[Foley]

It's a work in progress.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, those are.

[Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

See that little dangle?

[G]

There we go.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, they're long.

[Brandon Walker]

That was funny.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, that comment underneath. That's nice.

[G]

Malice.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

What are they saying?

[Hank]

It's, like, scrunched at the top. Get a transite on one of those.

[Kate]

Anyway, the guy was delighted when. When KB started dropping Ethiopia effects.

[Stephen Shea]

Did you guys go to dinner together?

[Kate]

No, no, we just brought them back from the. From the thing. I went to dinner with my wife.

[I]

I had a sushi rito in my bathtub.

[Stephen Shea]

A sushi rito?

[I]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Nice.

[Brandon Walker]

I had Chinese on the ottoman at.

[I]

The foot of the bed because only one seat.

[Che]

Yeah.

[I]

So the lady gets it.

[Stephen Shea]

Do you guys. When you guys are staying somewhere for like, a week like this, like, there looks like a bomb went off.

[Brandon Walker]

Absolutely.

[Stephen Shea]

It's. It's insane. How much is everywhere.

[Brandon Walker]

It's. Dana's wife picked something up from our room, and I was, like, embarrassed, so I just, like, handed.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

I was like, you can't. I don't want you to catch a whiff. I don't want you to see.

[Stephen Shea]

The cleaners could steal everything I own, and I wouldn't know for, like, days because I don't know where anyone. Anything is.

[Kate]

My wife is running our room. So I get back, it's a lot cleaner than when I left.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, my God. It's disgusting. I'm disgusted.

[G]

I'm treated like.

[I]

Yeah, I have, like, sauce on my hands. I wipe it on the lamp.

[Hank]

Why are you eating in your room?

[Kate]

Everywhere?

[Stephen Shea]

Like, what?

[Hank]

You're in a city. Like, you're. There's restaurants downstairs. Why are you eating in your room?

[Brandon Walker]

Every trip I go on, I do most of my meals in my room.

[I]

I don't know, I just, like. I think it's like, the world's greatest pleasure and I want to, like, fully enjoy.

[Stephen Shea]

Dude, room service is, like, the greatest. When you. When you're like, I don't have to do anything this morning. I'm just going to get way too much food and eat breakfast in my bed.

[Kate]

Well, we don't have room service. Right?

[Brandon Walker]

No, I tried.

[I]

We don't.

[Kate]

You don't no. So you had to go get it and bring it back.

[Stephen Shea]

Ah.

[Ian Cobbler]

My maids have been going like above.

[Brandon Walker]

And beyond there like three times a day.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah. But they like rearranged all like my.

[J]

My toothbrush, my contacts, they folded my clothes.

[Stephen Shea]

I was like, whoa.

[Ian Cobbler]

It was a little violating clothes. Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Room looks like I'm like an undercover cop because it's just tie dye everywhere. It's just strewn about.

[Hank]

Are you tipping day by day?

[Stephen Shea]

I tip at the end, yeah.

[I]

At the end?

[Hank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Day by day. Yeah.

[I]

Tip at the end, not tip at the end.

[Stephen Shea]

And I do a hefty tip because I know how disgusting my.

[Kate]

I also do a hefty tip. I do super happy whatever you do. I do just little.

[J]

She touched my Drake May jerseys and I got upset.

[Kate]

Oh, my.

[Stephen Shea]

Well, how did you get upset?

[J]

She moved them. Where did you have them hung up on? I kept them out of the closet cuz the AC was running so I didn't want them to get like moist.

[Ian Cobbler]

And then on your body they're going to get moist.

[J]

And then she moved them back into the closet.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, my God. And so they might have gotten moist.

[Kate]

You think the AC AC is so cold in your room, it's going to make.

[J]

It's going to ruin way down.

[Stephen Shea]

Imagine Foli showing to the super bowl with a. With a mildew Drake Majors moist jersey.

[G]

God, jersey's plural.

[J]

I have two Drakes and one Brady here.

[Stephen Shea]

And which one are you going to wear?

[Ian Cobbler]

The white Drake.

[Kate]

Gotta wear the Drake.

[Stephen Shea]

White Drake.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, my God. If Dave hugs you after a touchdown, he's like, what the.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, this smells gross.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, Foley, get out.

[G]

Patriots going all white.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Are you going to. Are you going to hug Dave? Yes. Okay. Have you planned, win or lose, what happens? He's a frail man. Man.

[G]

What if you guys get shut out? Do you think there'll be a hug?

[Brandon Walker]

No.

[G]

Like a.

[Hank]

That's a real possibility.

[Kate]

Have you practiced the hug?

[G]

You should.

[Stephen Shea]

I don't need to practice in his mind a million times.

[Kate]

Dave. Dave's a different size guy than a lot of people. So. So you're going to have to adjust your hug.

[J]

Same style with everyone.

[Brandon Walker]

If the Pats lose, will you cry?

[J]

Yes.

[Brandon Walker]

In front of Dave?

[Hank]

Yes.

[Kate]

If the Pats win, will you cry?

[Hank]

Yes.

[Che]

Okay.

[Stephen Shea]

What if they tie?

[J]

Can I. That can't happen.

[Stephen Shea]

No, it can't happen. That would be funny though.

[Ian Cobbler]

They should let that happen.

[Stephen Shea]

We didn't decide it this year is what it is.

[Hank]

I just want to see a hug kind of badly. I just Want to see what the hug would look like?

[Stephen Shea]

You can't steal, but, like, you can't. I don't know who's going to be in your suite, but there's probably a pecking order and hugs, and you're not number one. No offense. I know his girlfriend, Gaz. So where are you?

[Kate]

You think you're fifth, sixth? You know where you are?

[J]

Definitely not top ten.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay, well, no, you're top ten.

[Kate]

How many people are going to be in the suite?

[J]

17.

[Brandon Walker]

You're top 10.

[Stephen Shea]

Do we have a whole list of who's who Dave invited? Can we get a list? I want to see where you rank in the house.

[G]

Every Patriots touchdown, Dave's gonna hug everybody.

[J]

That'd be sick.

[Ian Cobbler]

That would be sick.

[Hank]

I think you're higher on the hug list than you think.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, I do too.

[Hank]

I think you're huggable and, like, you could. You have, like, good luck charm qualities where it's like, oh, let me keep on hugging Foli.

[G]

It's going good.

[J]

If it's a good luck thing, then sure.

[Kate]

I also think your Patriots fandom is as thick as it can possibly be. Like, you're. There's no question mark.

[Hank]

Hank's a fake fan.

[Stephen Shea]

Are we hugging?

[J]

I don't think Hank's a fake fan.

[Stephen Shea]

Are we hugging? On interceptions?

[J]

Yes.

[G]

I just like.

[Stephen Shea]

What about like. What about. Yes. Sacks, like, third and long.

[J]

Every positive Patriots play.

[Kate]

Every positive Patriots play a game of 5. 5.

[Stephen Shea]

What about a hug and there's a flag and you don't notice the flag?

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Let's say a 20 yard touchdown run. You're hugging. Flag on the field, holding, coming back. Oh, my God.

[I]

That's.

[Stephen Shea]

You haven't thought about.

[Ian Cobbler]

That's a tough situation.

[Stephen Shea]

You have to prepare for these things.

[J]

I got to be mentally aware.

[Ian Cobbler]

How many.

[Brandon Walker]

How many hugs are you thinking you're going to do with Dave?

[J]

With Dave?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yes.

[Foley]

Over.

[J]

Under two.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, I'd smash.

[Kate]

That was disappointing. Say 11 and a half.

[J]

Can't go crazy.

[G]

Yes.

[Ian Cobbler]

So when you said you were going.

[Brandon Walker]

To hug on every positive plan.

[J]

Me and Hog.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, you and Hog.

[Stephen Shea]

You and Hog.

[G]

So what, like, how are you? Do you have a strategy for when you're going to go for the Dave hug? Because, like, you might not even be.

[Stephen Shea]

In the suite with Dave.

[G]

Seahawks. Seahawks get ball. First they score, it's 7 nothing, and then the Patriots score to tie it up. I. I don't really feel. You can't. You can't go like, find Dave to all on the seventh score first Maybe you score first.

[J]

Maybe Seahawks ain't scoring first with Big Milt in the middle right there.

[Kate]

Oh, but they might.

[J]

Who knows Big Milt?

[G]

Oh, well, me then.

[Stephen Shea]

You know, you should know this, you idiot. Titus.

[G]

Seattle Seahawks would score a touchdown on Big Milt.

[Che]

So if the Patriots are wearing white, I'm seeing 16 of the past 21 winners have worn white. I knew that was, like, kind of a stat.

[Stephen Shea]

That does not.

[J]

We are undefeated in our whites this.

[Hank]

Year or this season.

[Ian Cobbler]

Got it.

[J]

Okay.

[Kate]

I mean, they're what, 15 and three overall or 16? Three overall.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Not too crazy. Not too crazy.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, oh, oh.

[G]

Jared McCain did the thunder.

[Kate]

That's a Tik Tok guy, right?

[Stephen Shea]

Oh.

[G]

First puts the Thunder in tox R.

[Stephen Shea]

Has he been playing this year? Is he even hurt?

[Brandon Walker]

He has.

[Hank]

He. He's like, something weird happened. I mean, he got injured, but he has, like. He hasn't been playing well this year, and he's been kind of trapped in the rotation behind Quentin Grimes, so he's redundant. He's redundant and also he can't run.

[Brandon Walker]

Was that his first picture?

[Stephen Shea]

I feel like this is a great trade for the Thunder. They just got another shooter, and the.

[Hank]

Rockets pick isn't, like, a great pick, but I don't know why the Thunder would need. The Thunder are so deep and they.

[Stephen Shea]

Have so many picks.

[Hank]

He's going to be like, his vibe is right for the Thunder, and his vibe never, ever match with the Sixers.

[Stephen Shea]

But I also think the Thunder in there are in that weird spot where, like, they have so many picks and so many guys. They just have to find cheap guys.

[Hank]

Yes.

[Stephen Shea]

Because like everyone else, they don't have.

[Hank]

Him on, like, a control contract.

[Stephen Shea]

Right. Making, like, whatever, like a few million a year.

[G]

He would be perfect on the Bulls as the third guy in the Caleb Williams pca.

[Che]

Oh, wow.

[Hank]

They got going on fingernails painted like.

[Stephen Shea]

The most Gen Z superstar stars.

[Hank]

Yeah, he's gonna go, and he's probably gonna light it up for them.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Sucks. He was awesome last year, but he could have won rookie of the year if he didn't get hurt last year.

[Stephen Shea]

But that. I like his Tik Toks, but he stopped.

[Hank]

He kind of, like, slowed down making them. He kind of seems, like, more bummed out this year.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, because this Tik Toks, like, people obviously, you know, like, masculine sports culture. Like, this is lame, but I. He had so much joy to doing them.

[Hank]

It's so much joy. He wanted to do them with Tyrese Maxi. Then Tyrese Maxi was like, I don't really do the dancing and tick tock stuff. Then we draft VJ Edgecomb this year. And Maxi's dancing with Edgecomb.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, no, no. He's gotta get traded.

[Hank]

Yes, exactly.

[Brandon Walker]

He's dancing alone.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Dancing all alone.

[Stephen Shea]

Dancing all alone. All right, let's do. Let's do another ad and then we got our master Somalia here, which we're very excited for. We're going to switch up the seating a little bit, so, Che, you can sit over here with him. Which one am I doing next? Oh, I'm doing Tax Act. Get up there, Brandon. Tax act makes filing easy. With step by step guidance, your maximum refund is guaranteed. You won't find a bigger refund with any other tax filing software. Tax act gives you tax tips throughout the filing process to help you along the way. With ad expert assist, you can talk to a credentialed Tax act expert located right here in the U.S. sign up with TaxAct for a chance to win the ultimate barstool experience. One lucky winner will score a trip for two barstool Chicago hq, flights and hotel included for behind the scenes access to shows like Pardon My, Take the Yak and mostly sports. Plus chance to watch the Yak live, hang out with barstool talent, shoot hoops, hit the golf simulator, grab ice cream from the famous soft serve machine. Three additional winners will take home exclusive barstool memorabilia from Brandon Walker's mantiquing collection. I didn't know that. Sign up now for a chance to win. For full rules, visit taxact.combarstool no purchase necessary. All right, Brandon, what do we got?

[Kate]

Whoa.

[Ian Cobbler]

He looks like a cardboard cutout.

[Kate]

Okay, Tax act gave me this gift because I'd filed my taxes early. And this gift is a. Wow. This is a signed Seahawks jersey. Steve, Larry, Sergeant hall of Famer right there. I think that is a sick, sick gift from Tax Act. Oh, thank you to Tax act for that. That is going right into the mantiquin collection.

[Stephen Shea]

Perhaps that might be mine.

[Kate]

That might be yours. That's why I said perhaps. Thank you to Tax Act.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay. All right, let's get our Master Somalia here. Kbu. Sit where? Next to Kate. Danny, you want to hop right there?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

You sit here. No, Brandon, you sit in your regular seat.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hey.

[Foley]

Oh, my gosh. Hi. No way. Ian, welcome.

[Stephen Shea]

Yes.

[G]

Jordan.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hello.

[Stephen Shea]

Bubble's here. Our master sommelier.

[Che]

See you again.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, yes.

[Che]

Hey, how we doing?

[Stephen Shea]

Little wine. Great to meet you. Thank you so much.

[Brandon Walker]

I'm very excited.

[Stephen Shea]

Sit right there next to Steven.

[Foley]

These are nice glasses, too. Gabriel.

[Che]

Glass.

[Stephen Shea]

Yes.

[I]

Yeah.

[Foley]

Ken, no big deal, but I've watched this documentary that he's in, like, 20 times over the last 20 years. Psalm. Highly recommend.

[Stephen Shea]

All right, let me tweet out the link.

[Kate]

Hey, M. Give me that glass you have, Brandon. Yeah. Come on. We doing. Thank you.

[Che]

You've had the most wine so far I've seen on the show.

[Kate]

I've had a ton of wine. Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay. So, Ian, great to have you. We're excited to have you. What are we doing today? What are we tasting? Are we testing?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, we're blind tasting four wines. Okay. I have more than that if you guys want, but we're going to go ahead and get going.

[Kate]

Sure.

[Ian Cobbler]

So who's. Who's the test subject today?

[Stephen Shea]

It's Stephen. Stephen is Somali Che.

[Kate]

It's always Steve.

[Ian Cobbler]

Did you cut your hair and.

[Che]

Yes, yes, yes. It's maybe slightly different than the last.

[Ian Cobbler]

I was just saying, like, I thought I knew you, but maybe not.

[G]

Show him Jersey, Jay.

[Che]

Yeah, show him the Jersey for a 69. The word 60 on the back.

[Foley]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Just in case you missed the 69.

[Ian Cobbler]

There's also a 60. Who's 69? Player?

[Che]

Who's that jersey up on the Jags? I'm not sure. The Bucks had a player. Demar dotson, who was 69.

[Kate]

The Bucks player.

[Che]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

It.

[Che]

It's. No, it's. We're. We're just repping.

[Stephen Shea]

Repping the fan of. He's a fan of the sex position.

[Ian Cobbler]

Well, that's what I was thinking. I wasn't so sure if you had a favorite player or a favorite position.

[Stephen Shea]

It's fine, though.

[Kate]

Did anybody notice yesterday's name plate out in public?

[Ian Cobbler]

No, I think.

[Che]

Where did I go? I. I went to Trader Joe's with it, but no, nobody said anything.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Stephen Shea]

All right. Stephen, would you be okay if I put your Social Security on the name plate tomorrow?

[Che]

No, just the last four.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, just last four.

[Kate]

By the way, why'd you have to think about this?

[Che]

Four is fine.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, I know. Why did he have to think about the last four? That every single security question is last four of your Social Security.

[Che]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe don't do that, though. Whatever. All right, here.

[Ian Cobbler]

All right, let's get going. Let's start with, like, a very basic question. New World or Old World? Anybody know what I'm talking about?

[Kate]

Of course.

[Stephen Shea]

Are you talking about nwo?

[Ian Cobbler]

That's exactly. It's exactly right. So you know when you're blind taste, the first thing you want to think about, is it New World or Old world. Old world is like old classic wines. Old oak, very earthy. New world is like a lot of polish. Almost like if you're getting into an old Corvette versus a new Bentley, they have a different aroma to them. So the old polish, like Bordeaux, that's 1961. It smells like an old car. Brand new Napa smells a little bit more like polish. A lot of fruit, a lot of oak, a lot of maybe toffee, chocolate from different oak characteristics. So when you're smelling the wine, does it smell more earthy or more fruity and oaky?

[Kate]

Ooh, fruity.

[Che]

I think that smells fruity.

[Kate]

Fruity.

[Che]

Are you right?

[Kate]

Is he right?

[Ian Cobbler]

No.

[Stephen Shea]

For one.

[Ian Cobbler]

All right, that's okay. So let's talk about. What are the aromas?

[Stephen Shea]

I smell alcohol.

[Ian Cobbler]

Alcohol. Anybody smelling a little bit like low tide or like a sushi wrapper? Kind of that salty ocean character.

[Stephen Shea]

That's what I was gonna smell like. Wet booze.

[Che]

This smells like there's alcohol.

[Ian Cobbler]

There's alcohol there.

[Che]

It smells like the outside of a fire extinguisher.

[Stephen Shea]

What the.

[Brandon Walker]

Do you know what that smells like.

[Che]

When you hold it?

[Ian Cobbler]

Dude, I. I can kind of get.

[Che]

A little bit of.

[Ian Cobbler]

No.

[Stephen Shea]

What are y' all smelling? Yeah, we gotta let Steven cook. Stephen, you go with whatever you got.

[Brandon Walker]

Steve.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay.

[Che]

It's just. It's just very airy. Almost like. I don't want to say like, hydrogen.

[Stephen Shea]

But, like, you don't know what hydrogen is?

[G]

Hydrogen.

[Ian Cobbler]

It smells like. It's like. Like wet hydrogen. What was that tasting last time?

[Che]

My last one, I think, was a church pew.

[Ian Cobbler]

Didn't you say it smelled?

[Stephen Shea]

I just need to say. I need to stop this for a second. Ian is so nice to be here. There are 250 of you, I think 275. 275 master somalieres in the entire world, and he is sitting on this set next to a guy in a 69. 69 Jaguars jersey saying that it smells like a church pew or a fire hydrant.

[Brandon Walker]

You don't need to be doing this at all.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm highly entertained. I'll come back anytime.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man.

[Ian Cobbler]

All right, so the fruit smells to me, it's more like an under ripe pear. Like, almost like a green pear you cut open. Like, almost too ripe to eat, but you try anyways, you know? And you're always like, I shouldn't eaten that. It's a little bit under ripe, salty. A little bit of this oyster shell smell. No oak. It almost smells for me like you're at the beach at, you know, low Tide almost.

[Che]

Okay.

[Stephen Shea]

Should we taste it?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Foley]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

You can chew it for about five or six seconds if you want.

[Foley]

Oh.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, that's pretty good.

[Foley]

It's got, like, a sharp ending, so that's.

[Ian Cobbler]

That's high. That's bright acidity.

[G]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Who's doing that noise? You're supposed to do that, dude.

[Ian Cobbler]

That's pretty good.

[Stephen Shea]

That's pretty good.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm impressed. You want a job? Welcome.

[Stephen Shea]

How are you?

[Hank]

I could never. I could never look as good as you do.

[Ian Cobbler]

All right, so the palate's got. The palate's dry, right? There's no sugar. Medium body has this flavor, almost like you just ate an oyster about a minute ago.

[Che]

If you don't like oysters, maybe I'm getting some honeycomb. And not necessarily honey, but, like, you know, if you chew.

[I]

Hairbrush.

[Stephen Shea]

He's got a hairbrush comb.

[G]

Honeycomb without the honey?

[Stephen Shea]

No, no, no.

[Kate]

Not necessarily honey.

[Che]

No, but it's the. I had one. I had one of these recently, and I wasn't. I think it was part of a dessert, and I wasn't supposed to eat it, but it was like honey.

[Stephen Shea]

You had a honeycomb?

[Brandon Walker]

Did you eat the candle of a cake?

[Che]

No, but it kind. It kind of was like a candle, but it's like. It's waxy, but it's honey. But it's not. It's not. It's not pure honey. It's a lot of wax.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Che]

Wax and honey.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay, so all the.

[Che]

That's what I'm getting from this.

[Ian Cobbler]

All wax and no honey.

[Che]

Not no honey. There's some honey in there.

[Ian Cobbler]

Like, all. No, cattle honey.

[Che]

Wax. And, like, maybe a little bit of, like, green apple.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay. 3% Honey, like you stole it from the honeycomb.

[Stephen Shea]

Right.

[Che]

And then 20% honey, 60% wax, 10% green apple, and then 10%. Not sure yet. Maybe Vaseline.

[Hank]

He's not sure, though. He's not sure.

[Stephen Shea]

We're tasting a little V gasoline in here.

[G]

Is it customary, Ian, to. To chug the entire glass as quickly.

[Ian Cobbler]

As if you had, like, a beer bong on set? We could use that.

[G]

You're out.

[Che]

I did. I did three. I did. I.

[Stephen Shea]

How expensive is this wine? Does vaseline?

[Ian Cobbler]

Just under $50. So yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's accessible for most people. It's actually in the store right now for $40, I think.

[Che]

Perfect.

[Ian Cobbler]

All right, let's try again. What's the final conclusion? You think old world? You want to grape Guess A grape. It's one of the Most famous. Top 10 grapes. For white and red. I didn't bring anything too weird.

[Che]

I don't think it's Sauvignon Blanc.

[Ian Cobbler]

You're correct. Yes.

[Hank]

All right.

[Che]

I haven't tried that many white wines. I liked. Help me out, Kate Germinor Ger demeanor. Okay. I liked that. I think my bag isn't as deep as on the whites. Let's say it is a Riesling.

[Stephen Shea]

Get that on the quote card.

[Ian Cobbler]

So this is a. Have you ever heard of Chablis?

[Che]

Have not.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay.

[Che]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

We're gonna get you a book to read.

[Che]

Okay?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Che]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

You know, because it's like. It's like music. If I. If I put a song on from the Rolling Stones. You've never heard of them before, and I played a song, you'd never know what it was. Right. So we gotta get you started. I'll send you some wine. I'll get you a wine book, and we'll get you to read, like, you know, spend a week reading about wine.

[Che]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

And this is an area that existed underneath the Shallow Ocean about 150 million years. The sea life decomposed, creating limestone. They planted Chardonnay, and it tastes like this.

[Stephen Shea]

Love it.

[Hank]

Why'd you say Riesling, Stephen?

[Che]

It's one of the white wines that I've heard of.

[I]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

It's really a 50, 50 proposition.

[G]

Che, were you. When you were out here, were you doing wine tours?

[Ian Cobbler]

I did.

[Che]

I did a wine tour at Hope Family Wines in Paso Robles. And that was the one wine that I. Aside from the Gervurch Diviner, I liked that. The Cabernet Sauvignon from there.

[Ian Cobbler]

Cool.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Foley]

All right.

[Ian Cobbler]

You guys want to try the second wine?

[Stephen Shea]

Yes.

[Che]

All right.

[Ian Cobbler]

Somebody help.

[Hank]

Pourish is coming up.

[Che]

So, wait, what is this, a Charbolis or a.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's called Chablis.

[Che]

Chablis.

[Ian Cobbler]

Chardonnay. So in France, they don't put the name of the grape on the bottle. I don't know why. But if it's from Bordeaux, the grape is Cabernet or Merlot, Pretty much. If it's from Chablis, the grape is Chardonnay. If it's from Sancerre, the grape is Sauvignon Blanc. If it's from Burgundy, the grape is Pinot Noir. Chardonnay.

[Che]

So this is Chardonnay.

[Ian Cobbler]

This is Chardonnay from Chablis. Yeah. So if you see. If you go to the store and you see Chablis looks like Chablis, C, H, A, B, L, I, S. It's all Chardonnay planted On limestone with no oak, stainless steel, or neutral.

[Che]

Yep.

[Ian Cobbler]

Really good with oysters, raw seafood, you know, seafood tower kind of thing, shrimp cocktail.

[Che]

The pairing thing confuses me a little bit because what I. And you might know this a bit better because you're a wine at dinner guy, but pairing, I think of steak and like, I guess burger. Like red meat go with red, and then fish and chicken go with white.

[Ian Cobbler]

It depends on the sauce. Like, if you have chicken with capers on it and lemon, it goes well with the white.

[Che]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

If you have chicken with barbecue sauce, you would want a red that's a little bit bigger, maybe sweeter, like Zinfandel. If you have steak and you have it like rare, and you have it with the chimichurri sauce, you can do it with white or malbec. There's a lot of things really depends on. On the sauce.

[Che]

Here's one. What if you have a red fish.

[Ian Cobbler]

Like a salmon, it goes really well with white. Depends on the style. Or you can have a light pinot noir. So, yeah, it's a.

[Che]

A red fish.

[Stephen Shea]

I got a question for you, Ian.

[Ian Cobbler]

What?

[Stephen Shea]

Like this is a chicken and egg question. Or did the vest come first? Or did the wine come first? Cuz, like, the vest. Like, were you a vest guy all the time? And then you're like, well, I might as well become a sommelier. Or were you sommelier? And be like, now I got to wear a vest.

[Ian Cobbler]

You know, it's a. So first and then is the vest okay? It's actually great question.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

It feels like it's just like there's something about your vet because you were wearing one the first time we had you on.

[Ian Cobbler]

I was. I was wearing a Patagonia blue.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Puffy coat that was.

[Stephen Shea]

It's a status symbol where it's like, this guy knows more than us.

[Hank]

But it's a Robert Redford hair, too. It's like that.

[Stephen Shea]

You got great hair. You too.

[Ian Cobbler]

Is that right?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, you got great hair.

[Che]

Thanks.

[Hank]

Can you give us a.

[Stephen Shea]

You're just vested up.

[Ian Cobbler]

You can't lie to us. This is so good.

[Stephen Shea]

You're messed it up.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm in a few suits.

[Hank]

Can you give us like a mini crash course on cool ways to hold a wine glass, please? I saw you holding it at the base like this.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay, so let's. So what you don't want to do.

[Foley]

I was holding mine like a cigarette.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

If you see anybody doing that, just like taking good him a beer, you know what I mean? All right. What you want to do? Is this if you really, really know what you're talking about and you're, like, ready for some guy who has a big seller, big cigar collection to come ask you confusing questions. You hold like that. You're attracting some collectors and stuff like that. Right? This is kind of a slightly douchey hold. I'll be honest. I like that that's what we're doing.

[G]

She's down here.

[Ian Cobbler]

You can do it like this, and you're holding. You're talking to people, but it just, you know, it's just a hair on the douchey side. Honestly, I didn't even realize I did it, so. Sorry about that. I thought it looked cool. Sometimes I'll do that. But, yeah, hold it by the stem. You don't really want to, like, hold it here because you're transferring the heat from your hand into the glass. So you want to hold it by the stem. That's why it's there. And one of the best glasses in the world, Gabriel Glass. So I sent you guys a dozen for the.

[Stephen Shea]

Yes, by the way.

[Kate]

Thank you.

[Ian Cobbler]

So. Because I was a little bit like, you know, you're trying to, like, taste out of plastic.

[Che]

Plastic. Yep.

[Ian Cobbler]

And you're like, oh, it tastes like a candy in a wrapper in your back. Back pocket. Because you're smelling the plastic.

[Stephen Shea]

Ian, he just had one of the best wine glasses in the world. He said it tastes like Vaseline. Yeah, I think.

[Brandon Walker]

Steve.

[Stephen Shea]

I don't think it was the glass.

[Brandon Walker]

Do you have chapstick on?

[Che]

No. Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay, okay. Can you smell anything other than Vaseline.

[Che]

Here in this one? Yes.

[Foley]

This one's crazy.

[Che]

Yeah. This one smells like a balloon.

[Stephen Shea]

He's right.

[Foley]

Am I wrong?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, I was gonna say it smells.

[Kate]

Like a tire swing.

[Ian Cobbler]

Listen, you guys aren't so far off. Like, a lot of people call it, like, diesel. This is a very classic area in Europe grown on slate. I'll give you a couple tips. It's like these. It looks like a. A billion chalkboards that were crushed and put on a hillside. Super steep terraces. One of the most special vineyards in the world. But, yeah, let's go ahead and smell. What do you guys. What do you guys smell other than a balloon? I mean, there's some fruit here. There's. There's some honey. This is where the honeycomb is, right? You guys will smell a little bit of honey and saffron.

[Brandon Walker]

I'm not good at this.

[Stephen Shea]

All right, Steven, give us. Give us some. Give us some. What you got?

[Che]

It's balloon and new shoe smell. Okay.

[Stephen Shea]

Nice.

[Che]

You guys got that on your own.

[Kate]

I don't get the shoe smell, but I got the balloon, and it tastes edible.

[Foley]

A different color than most wines to me.

[Ian Cobbler]

That.

[Foley]

That's very yellow.

[Ian Cobbler]

Gets older.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's. It's piss yellow.

[Che]

Yeah. This looks like my pee after I go to the movies.

[Ian Cobbler]

What? You don't drink water the whole movie?

[I]

Is that why.

[Che]

Yeah, you drink soda. You have a lot of popcorn.

[Ian Cobbler]

So that's. That's a. That's popcorn piss.

[Che]

Okay.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, I like this one. I like this one more than the first one. That's a really good wine.

[I]

And Ian agreed. Moan etiquette.

[Ian Cobbler]

Delicious.

[Stephen Shea]

What's that?

[I]

Moan etiquette.

[Ian Cobbler]

Like, if you want to moan after.

[I]

You'Re drinking is the proper, like, sound, if any.

[Ian Cobbler]

You know, just be yourself. I think, you know, if you want to moan, you can do it. I think, you know, everyone's going to be cool. Just let it.

[Stephen Shea]

Let it out.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hold it. Like a douche.

[G]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hold on.

[I]

We.

[Ian Cobbler]

We do it like that.

[G]

Should we all go around and do our douchiest sip?

[Che]

Yeah.

[G]

Submit the douchiest sip.

[Kate]

This is good.

[Stephen Shea]

It's really good.

[Ian Cobbler]

It.

[Kate]

It is.

[Ian Cobbler]

It is a mono. I would say that I've never said it about any wine in the world, but.

[Kate]

Oh, would you add moanable to your vocabulary of talking about wines? This is moanable.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm just gonna use that today and forget about it.

[Kate]

All right, good.

[J]

Smart.

[Ian Cobbler]

Ian, with balloon, I've already used tennis ball. Like, if you see this movie, some. I actually smelled tennis ball or, like, you know, fresh rubber hose.

[Foley]

Am I right to say the first wine was, like, drier, and this one's, like, real wet?

[Ian Cobbler]

So they're sweet. They're sweet. Sugar here. There's a little residual sugar.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay, Stephen, give us your. Your taste of this. RG3 just walked in.

[J]

Oh.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, what's he doing?

[Foley]

Does he want a glass of win?

[Stephen Shea]

Football player. Hey, what's going on?

[Foley]

Cheers.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hello.

[Kate]

Want some wine? The.

[G]

The Jeff Gordon jacket.

[Kate]

Damn good.

[G]

It's a hell of a jacket.

[Che]

It's very smooth. I think it's. I think it has a high acidity.

[Stephen Shea]

You sit. I got it. Oh, rg. What's up, dude? Hey, you want to try some wine? We got a master. So right here, we'll get you some wine.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Headphones right there. Us.

[Brandon Walker]

He has the stick mic.

[Foley]

Got to keep the hat on.

[Kate]

T shirt's too big.

[Che]

This tastes very honey to me.

[Ian Cobbler]

Like, very honey. Yeah. High acid.

[Kate]

You're just saying Honey. Every time. Time now.

[Che]

No. I mean, last time was, like, under notes. Funny, but more of the wax. This one is the honey, but it's smooth.

[Kate]

This.

[Ian Cobbler]

He's actually right this time. Last time was just complete bs.

[G]

Oh.

[Ian Cobbler]

Just kidding.

[Che]

It's.

[Stephen Shea]

It's so.

[Che]

It's almost like.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's delicious, though.

[Foley]

It's.

[Che]

If is. It's if honey was lava but not hot. You understand?

[Ian Cobbler]

Cold lava.

[Che]

Cold lava, yeah. But it's very smooth and the taste is pleasing.

[Kate]

But why would honey need to become lava in this scenario? Why wouldn't honey just be honey?

[G]

Honey. Cold honey.

[Brandon Walker]

It would just be honey, right?

[Che]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Foley]

I feel the need to explain. He's. He's never really had wine, and he's trying to learn to.

[Che]

Yes.

[Foley]

What it is and to like it. And he is, like, one of the biggest wine people in the world.

[Ian Cobbler]

He's the one.

[Foley]

So he's having.

[G]

We have literally the best wine, the Somalier in the world with the worst.

[Foley]

So.

[Kate]

In the world.

[Foley]

So we're learning. Here is what's happening.

[Che]

I've ever heard anyone describe wine as cold lava.

[G]

Cold lava.

[Stephen Shea]

Well, you missed. You missed.

[Kate]

You missed a balloon earlier. And Vaseline.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, don't forget vaseline.

[Kate]

Wine was 10% vaseline.

[Foley]

Who is this guy?

[G]

Did he.

[Stephen Shea]

This should be like you having a quarterback skills competition.

[Ian Cobbler]

I have two more wines if we have time, so.

[Kate]

Plenty of time.

[Stephen Shea]

I will stop distracting.

[Ian Cobbler]

I will stop distracting. I have all day.

[Stephen Shea]

Right.

[Ian Cobbler]

So.

[Che]

But.

[Ian Cobbler]

So what do we think this is?

[Hank]

It tastes Ethiopian.

[Brandon Walker]

Does it taste a little bit?

[Ian Cobbler]

So one of the major grapes of Ethiopia.

[I]

It tastes Ethiopian.

[Foley]

Are there wineries in Africa?

[Ian Cobbler]

I've been to some in Morocco.

[Stephen Shea]

It's a little black RG3.

[Kate]

Just throwing heat.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, God.

[G]

Notes of Hennessy.

[Kate]

Where am I? Where. Where am I right now?

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, my God. Put some black.

[Stephen Shea]

Ethiopia.

[Ian Cobbler]

And a balloon. And a balloon. Yeah.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ian Cobbler]

So based on that Black Hennessy balloon, where are we?

[Che]

I think it tastes. I think it tastes wet.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay, so let me.

[Stephen Shea]

It's liquid.

[Che]

It's liquid.

[Ian Cobbler]

Well, didn't you say it smelled wet last time? Yes.

[Che]

They can smell.

[Kate]

Smell wet.

[I]

This tastes wet.

[Ian Cobbler]

That's one thing you've said I do agree with.

[Che]

The tannin level is low.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yes.

[Che]

And the acidity level is high.

[Ian Cobbler]

This is correct.

[Che]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

Acidity's high. Sugar. So there's sugar and high acid. Based on that, it could be two things. Riesling or Chenin Blanc.

[Stephen Shea]

Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players, but in the arena they're prime time in season two of tgl, presented by Soldiers is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops timeouts, overtime and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL presented by SoFi. Keep up. It's golf. Tune in to every match only on espn.

[Che]

I've never heard of Shannon Blanc. I'm gonna stick with Riesling, dude.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ian Cobbler]

If somebody. My backpack's around the corner. If somebody could grab a bottle out of there. It's a 1989.

[Che]

Holy cowling.

[Ian Cobbler]

Didn't you just have a birthday? Are you 1986?

[Che]

Yes, I turned 40 yesterday. Yes.

[Ian Cobbler]

I tried to bring something close to your birthday.

[Che]

Wow. Thank you.

[Ian Cobbler]

89. But this is a great deal. I imported this from Germany. Never saw the light of day for what is that, 40 years? And then just arrived in America. $60 retail smoke and wine. Great with Thai food.

[Che]

This.

[I]

This is my favorite I've ever had.

[G]

Yes.

[Che]

Standing cool.

[Hank]

Yeah. Why do you. Why do you think it's so many people's favorite? Is it different than other Rieslings people would have tasted or what?

[Ian Cobbler]

It has a little sugar and it has 40 years of age. Right.

[I]

And what is the name?

[Ian Cobbler]

So Erdnur. So this is a Velenar Sonarnor. So the village is Velenin. The Sonar nor means the sundial of Velen. It's this big steep vineyard outside of the town of Velen. And it's Auslase, so means it was harvested a little bit late, has a little residual sugar. And if you tasted this when it was young, it would taste very sweet, like a. Like lemonade with way too much sugar in it. Every 10 years, the wine absorbs the sugar somehow. I don't understand the chemistry. And it ends up tasting, you know, kind of partially dry. Like a perfectly sweet glass of lemonade now.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Che]

Oh, wow.

[Ian Cobbler]

So Auslaise could be paired with dessert after 40 years. It's kind of better with Thai food. So Riesling in Thai food, if you are going to learn from one thing, I would say have Riesling with Thai food. Place called Lotus of Siam. If you ever get to Vegas, one of the greatest experiences you'll ever have. So cool.

[Che]

Is the older the wine, you're actually leaving Ethiopia.

[Ian Cobbler]

Taste of laugh. I would say.

[G]

I would say wine is a hell of a cameo. That's incredible.

[Hank]

If he said a word.

[Stephen Shea]

No TJ was just texting me. He was just like, yeah, RG3 is supposed to do micropod. We're trying to get him.

[Ian Cobbler]

So who was he?

[Che]

Robert Griffin, the third Robert from the 30s.

[Kate]

Mine's my trophy winner.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay. Well, what an honor.

[Che]

Wow.

[Stephen Shea]

Amazing.

[Ian Cobbler]

I wasn't so sure. He had great tasting notes though, you know.

[Che]

Was he rookie of the year in 2012?

[Stephen Shea]

I think so.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Che]

That's number two overall pick in 2012. Rookie of the year quarterback, good player.

[Ian Cobbler]

Should we try the third one?

[Kate]

Thanks, Steven.

[Stephen Shea]

Thanks, Stephen.

[G]

You said that like you were a tasting hit. Putting some Waco notes.

[Kate]

Definitely a dual threat.

[Foley]

Oh, thank you. You got a red here.

[Stephen Shea]

This might be the new series Ian. Ian teaches Stephen about wine and Stephen teaches Ian about football.

[Ian Cobbler]

Well, he's got it.

[J]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Knocked down, but he's got to first read a wine book.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

You know, and I've got to start watching the.

[Kate]

I don't know if he does.

[Stephen Shea]

No, I think we just kind of.

[Kate]

Want him like this.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

Untamed.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm down. Just continue to like.

[Hank]

Thank you.

[Stephen Shea]

There's a chance he might. There's a chance Stephen might change the wine game in like 10 years. We're all doing the Stephen Shea method.

[Brandon Walker]

He's going to be teaching you how to taste for notes of balloon.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Well, me have two buck. Chuck Ambassador.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Che]

I would like for wine to be more the barrier to entry to be lower and for everyone to feel comfortable doing it.

[Hank]

But wine guys don't want that. People who are like collecting the exclusivity makes it more appealing.

[G]

Also you can get very, very cheap wine. You can get barefoot Franzia, you know, for next to nothing.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah. I mean $99 two buck check now it's $2.99. I think you can, you can get into wine if you really want to. It's not that expensive.

[Stephen Shea]

I just like the idea that like we will like 10 years from now when you take your master some. How many tests did you have to take?

[Ian Cobbler]

Four major ones.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. So we're going to add a fifth and it's going to be like you have to pick a non edible item for every single wine. 1A10 tastes like Vaseline tires.

[Brandon Walker]

Something you can buy at Home Depot.

[Ian Cobbler]

So that's so the smell gun. That's reduction. So like you talk about like the smell of an off gassing mattress or a tennis ball or plastic. You said balloon. You said like a good year tire shop. If you have new tires and you're like looking at them, that's reduction so that's like wine starving for oxygen. If you smell wine and it smells like that, it will blow off usually within a few hours. Hours of air. Red wine smells like a Goodyear tire shop. Sometimes if you decant it for three hours, that'll go away.

[Hank]

Can you tell us a little bit about your tests that you have to take? Like the last test, like, what are they? What are they? Presenting, like five wines, and you have to say where they're from, what is it?

[Ian Cobbler]

So to go through the whole exam is pretty intense, but there's three parts of it. You have a theory exam, they sit you down for an hour, ask you questions about the whole world. Water, spirits, how they're made, where they come from, soil types, currents of different oceans around the world that affect the acidity and different personality of the grapes. Second part is a service exam. You go into a room with a bunch of master sommeliers. You're very intimidated because there's only a few hundred in the world. And they ask you questions and basically try to trip you up a little bit. And we'll give you budgets on food and wine pairing menus. They'll blind taste you on different spirits. At another table, you have to decant wine, decant cheese, champagne. That's the second part. Third part, you have a blind tasting of three wines. You have to describe the color, clarity, reflection of light, viscosity, concentration of color. You have to describe the speed of the tears. Basically telling you how much alcohol it has.

[G]

That's what that is. Because I was going to ask you about that. When you were on last time. You were saying something about you got to get the right glass, because that's part of it is watching it drip down. What does that tell us?

[Ian Cobbler]

That basically tells you the alcohol or the sugar. So if you have a glass of tequila. Tequila, it'll come down really slow. If you have a glass of honey and come down very slow. So if you have either a high sugar or high alcohol or both, they'll come down slow, right? And you can look at the color not with a green background, but like a white background. And you can tell there's a little bit of oranging on the reflection of the rim. And that kind of tells you what grape variety it might be. There's a few grape varieties that have an orange reflection on the rim. Sangiovese, Nebbiolo, Pinot Noir, Martin Merlot, and Tempranillo. So just looking at the color here, you're in the top five.

[G]

So if I was presenting to you A wine that you. You don't know what it is necessarily. And I was. I was gonna ask you to figure out what it is. How long until you're actually putting it in your mouth?

[Ian Cobbler]

Usually about 20 seconds.

[G]

Okay, so it's not that long because it feels like you're going through, like, a whole laundry list of things, but you just do it quickly.

[Hank]

But he's reading the details. He's like, yeah.

[Foley]

Can you like.

[Stephen Shea]

All right.

[Ian Cobbler]

This is a red wine, clear star, Brittany. The wine has a deep, kind of dark crimson core, almost a. With a ruby hue to it, but more of a garnet hue, moving to slightly garnet. Hints on the garnet and orange. On the reflection. On the reflection. Sorry. Concentration of color is moderate, plus you can see through it. Viscosity based on tears is medium plus bordering high. High. I would say high. There's some tears coming down slower on the nose. The wine's clean. The wine's youthful, showing signs of development. The wine has, like, maturing characters of strawberry, red, currant, cherry, but more of a sour cherry. There's a little bit of fennel, rose petal. It's kind of like, you know, picking up some damp leaves in the forest, if you know what I'm talking about. A little bit of Vaseline. I'm just kidding.

[Hank]

No, church pew.

[Ian Cobbler]

What you say?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, church pew. Right now, Steven, you go.

[Kate]

What do you think?

[Stephen Shea]

Now you go, Steven.

[Che]

My smelling re Wasn't crazy dissimilar. It was a I. With this before, it is a fireplace that has burned off the. Whatever. The wood has been burned, and you pour rubbing alcohol on it.

[Brandon Walker]

How is that similar?

[Stephen Shea]

Why would you do that?

[Che]

What?

[Stephen Shea]

Why would you pour rubbing alcohol on a fireplace?

[Che]

I'm saying that's what it smells like.

[Stephen Shea]

Is this fireplace in a lake.

[Ian Cobbler]

You want to know why he's doing it?

[Che]

Doing it.

[Ian Cobbler]

He want to test if there's still some embers in there. So smart.

[Che]

That's what it smells like to me. It smells very strong alcohol.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, you're right. You're right. And there's a little volatile acidity, which is classic age. Long time in barrel.

[Kate]

What else you getting? Getting more. Yeah, I saw you go back in for another.

[Stephen Shea]

Take a sip.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's like, let's.

[Stephen Shea]

Let's see what you got.

[Che]

It's like vodka.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, okay.

[Che]

You don't like.

[Kate]

Like this one.

[Ian Cobbler]

Are you smelling new oak, by the way? Because that's a big thing.

[Che]

New oak.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah. Oak is like vanilla, cinnamon, baking spices.

[G]

Oh.

[Che]

A little bit of that taste. You can taste Some spices.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay, what do you got?

[Che]

You can taste high tannin levels with this. My tongue has been dried out.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay, everybody, you can chew the wine better.

[Kate]

Not one of the first words he learned.

[Stephen Shea]

He's going to run the tannin play over and over.

[Ian Cobbler]

So I'm going take a break.

[Che]

Take this wine.

[Ian Cobbler]

Chew it for about five seconds with me.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay, Tell us what you taste, Stephen.

[Ian Cobbler]

And you see it pulls, like, almost like burlap on your gums. Yeah. And the top of your. You want fat. You want, like, some sort of pasta with this really good pizza one.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, wow.

[Che]

I feel like this might be a Cabernet Sauvignon.

[Ian Cobbler]

So for it to be Cabernet, would have to have a little bit of, like, this pyrazine, almost like green herbal character. Or it would have to be very dark if it was from Napa. So the color for Cabernet, if this was like a 1995 cabernet from Bordeaux, that. That's the right color. But this is light. Based on the oranging on the meniscus, you see that outside? Sangiovese, Nebbiolo, Pinot Noir, merlot, or Tempranillo are your five to choose.

[Che]

Okay, I'm gonna say Pinot Noir because I don't like Pinot Noir, and I don't really like this that much.

[Ian Cobbler]

Pinot Noir is moderate tannin, so this is high tannin.

[Kate]

Mmm.

[Che]

Damn it.

[Ian Cobbler]

So there's.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay, so now you're down to four.

[Ian Cobbler]

So there's two grapes that are high tannin. Nebbiolo from, like, Barolo and Barbara or Sangiovese from Chianti or Brunello to Montalcino.

[Che]

So. So what are my choices?

[Stephen Shea]

With some fava beans and a nice candy.

[Che]

Yeah. Oh, so this could be Chianti.

[Brandon Walker]

It makes you do that?

[Stephen Shea]

I was just doing Hannibal Lecter. I don't know why you looked at me like I had given you a Silence of the Lambs.

[Kate]

All right.

[Ian Cobbler]

I was like, favas. That's a good call. Favas and pasta, beef cheeks.

[Che]

Is this a Chianti?

[Ian Cobbler]

This is not. But that's a very close call.

[G]

Okay.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's a very close. Cool. So this is Nebbiola from Barbaresco. So in Piedmont.

[Che]

Any of those words.

[Ian Cobbler]

So you know where Milan is?

[Che]

Italy.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah. If you drive west over there, you have an area called Piedmont, which is at the foot of the mountains. These beautiful areas. You've heard of Torino? There used to be a Winter Olympics there.

[Che]

Gran Torino. Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

So there's this.

[Brandon Walker]

These rolling Hills.

[Ian Cobbler]

Piedmont means the foot of the mountain. There's these rolling green hills where they. On the south facing slopes, they have Nebbiolo. Right. Kind of refers to the. The fog. Barbaresco and Barolo are the most famous villages. This is about 50 bucks retail killer with any Italian dinner, lasagna, stuff like that. You know, tomato based pastas, even just like a steak or a burger. So.

[G]

Okay, you don't like this, Steve?

[Stephen Shea]

I don't really like too much tannin.

[G]

What. What don't you like about it?

[Che]

Does this have high tannin, low acidity.

[Ian Cobbler]

High acid, high tannin, high alcohol?

[Stephen Shea]

You have been so off on this.

[Ian Cobbler]

So let's. Let's check the acidity. So I want you to take a sip, check it a little bit, and then lift your tongue. Ready?

[Che]

I have a question before we start that. Sorry. When you say you chew it, what is your tongue doing when your mouth is closed?

[Ian Cobbler]

What do you do with you. When you, like, put mouthwash in your.

[Che]

Mouth, like, swirl it?

[Ian Cobbler]

Don't even worry about your tongue. Are you like, really, are you.

[Kate]

Tongue.

[Foley]

It's got a wide.

[Ian Cobbler]

Are you not supposed to put it on your tongue? No, you just have to just chew the. Chew it like I've been doing it.

[Che]

Wrong the whole time.

[Ian Cobbler]

When you're chewing your food, you're not really worried about your tongue.

[Brandon Walker]

How have you been drinking the wine?

[Foley]

What have you.

[Ian Cobbler]

Drinking the drink?

[Che]

Let it rest on my tongue.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just let your tongue chill out. Just don't even. Don't even think about.

[Stephen Shea]

Don't worry about the tongue.

[Kate]

Yeah, the tongue is of a little use here.

[Ian Cobbler]

There's only certain things you really got to think about your tongue in life.

[Kate]

Okay, yeah, we'll get to that later.

[Che]

All right. I. I'm more confused.

[Kate]

All right, just let your tongue sit in your mouth.

[Ian Cobbler]

No, no, no, no.

[Stephen Shea]

Not like that.

[Ian Cobbler]

So, so literally, just chew the wine. Lift your tongue like this.

[Stephen Shea]

The fact that he's doing this all with jaguar hair.

[Che]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

And you'll see that underneath your tongue will puddle heavily from a lot of saliva since there's so much acidity. Your palate's trying to correct the acidity.

[G]

You're not really moving.

[Stephen Shea]

Don't move the tongue.

[G]

You have other things done. There are other parts of your mouth, Steve, than your tongue.

[Stephen Shea]

Can you not just even.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's just tongue.

[G]

Move your jaw around.

[Che]

I really don't like this.

[Stephen Shea]

All right, let's do the last.

[Kate]

Last one.

[Che]

No, but I, I'm. I'm okay, like, not liking it. For, you know, 2 ounces or whatever.

[Ian Cobbler]

So what you got to do is go to a great Italian dinner and bring a bottle. A bottle of Nebula. You'll totally change your whole.

[Kate]

So if we had a big pan of lasagna here.

[Hank]

So maybe some Pizza Hut. Have a pizza.

[Kate]

Have a.

[Hank]

Have like, a little bite of Pizza Hut with it. Maybe that'll change.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you hand him a slice of pizza? Is that.

[Kate]

Do we have a fresh one? Bring us a fresh one out here.

[Ian Cobbler]

That's going to change it.

[Che]

Yeah, I could see that tomato.

[Brandon Walker]

Now you're naming things in pizz, dough, notes of tomato.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man.

[Kate]

Pepperoni, stuffed crust.

[Stephen Shea]

So that's a special boy, a cardboard box.

[Brandon Walker]

It's a 2026.

[Che]

Ian, what is your go to wine on? Like, you're not being taped. You're just wine watching TV on a Friday night. I guess it would depend on the food for you. Right?

[Ian Cobbler]

You know, I drink a lot of Pinot Noir from France, from Burgundy, for example. I drink a lot of Nebbiolo Sicilian wines, too, like Narella Mescalze from Mount Etna. All volcanic. White Burgundy. I drink a lot of white Burgundy. White Burgundy's Chardonnay from France. From Poligny, Monrocher, Merceau. She's Sonia, but yeah. So now try that.

[Che]

The Italian food does make it taste better.

[Hank]

Thoughts?

[Kate]

I'm still on the food.

[Ian Cobbler]

What are you tasting?

[Che]

Does definitely enhance it. I'm getting some pepperoni, cheese.

[Stephen Shea]

Now, where. Where would you say this pizza is from?

[Che]

I'm going to say San Francisco.

[Stephen Shea]

No, actually, wrong. It's the big New Yorker. Oh, Steve couldn't even get that pizza out the bus.

[Foley]

I have a question. You try to give. I feel like one of your things is you try to give shine to these wineries that might not have a lot of shine. You have the Wine club and all that stuff we were talking about. People were mentioning, like, Franzia and the box wines. Like, my dad loves drinking this box wine called the Big Sipper. It's like these boxes of big separate. Do the wineries, the small batch wineries. Look at those guys. Like a band that sold out. Are they, like, okay. Like, do they look at those farms like those guys are.

[Ian Cobbler]

Or. I mean, it's kind of like, you know, taking, like, good mortadella and comparing it with Oscar Meyer baloney.

[Foley]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

You know, if that makes sense.

[Foley]

Yes. But people aren't like, those farmers get the wine. Those are still wineries.

[Kate]

Right?

[Foley]

It's, like, still the same grapes.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, but it's Kind of like, I don't know, it's. It's really hard, different, but vibe. You know, you're looking at like the track lands when you're driving down the 5 freeway down here from LA and you see like a hundred, literally acres of vines that are being not kept up. They buy machines.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Foley]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

And they're.

[Hank]

It's not, it's next to a gas station.

[Ian Cobbler]

You know, not to say Franz is chemically farmed, but most of them are not going to like disrespect a brand online.

[Foley]

All right, just.

[Ian Cobbler]

But at the same time you, you want to, you know, drink small production wines that are made by people that care.

[Foley]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

And that's what I sell.

[Foley]

That's good too.

[Hank]

Are there any countries that you were talking about a lot about, about wines from France and from Italy. Are there any countries that would surprise us? It's like. Oh, they got pretty good wines out there.

[Ian Cobbler]

Croatia. Yeah, I was, I was in Croatia. The islands in Croatia are incredible. And if you have a friend that can afford a boat, do that, you know. But. All right, what I got you, I would say Austria is incredible. Outside Vienna, there's some really cool stuff off the Danube River. The Vaka, the Krumstal, the Comptal. Switzerland. Amazingly beautiful. Yeah, yeah. The, the areas of northern Italy, incredible. I mean you of course would know it.

[Stephen Shea]

Ball game that you roll the thing down.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hungary is incredible. Canada has some great wines, but Colona, Okanagan Valley, Mexico, Vita, Guadalupe, if you want to have a cool experience, you go down there.

[I]

What about.

[Stephen Shea]

No, I actually can't say cuz it's not a sponsor.

[I]

Ian, now that you've achieved the pinnacle of your craft like this globally exclusive master status, do you still have a competitive drive to pursuit something more or is it all for fun now, you know?

[Stephen Shea]

Good question.

[Brandon Walker]

God damn. Damn, Dean.

[Ian Cobbler]

Jesus.

[G]

Meaning anymore, right?

[Ian Cobbler]

No, I mean I wake up every day just trying to like, you know, bring my kids cool places and travel the world and have cool experiences, be around good people.

[I]

I look at you like, like Alex Honnold, who's achieved like the pinnacle of climbing.

[Foley]

You're the Michael Jordan of wine.

[I]

And now he's searching for more. Yeah, but what else is there?

[Ian Cobbler]

Contentment. Yeah.

[I]

Is there like, like competitions for sommelier?

[Hank]

Yeah.

[J]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

I did really well. I won the top sommelier of America. I won the best young sommelier in the world as well. But there's a competition called the ASI, so top 20 in the world I got. In 2012, I represented the United States you have to spend. You have to speak a second language the whole competition. So I speak fluent Spanish, but that was hard. So I got third place in the Americas. I was in the top 20. Got invited to Japan, but I got bit by a tick. Totally screwed me up.

[Che]

Whoa.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, yeah, you guys from the Northeast, you know, but yeah, here in Napa, you know, 2010 got bit, but took me four or five years to figure it out. But so, you know, part of me wants to go back and compete again, but it's going to take, you know, a year and a half of training. Then I'd have to, you know, probably live in Spain for a while and perfect my Spanish again because I haven't been speaking too much.

[Che]

How do you figure out four to five years post it happening? How do you figure out you got bit by a tick? I can't remember what I had for breakfast.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, yeah, you just, you just lose your ability to communicate properly and. Yeah, antisocial a little bit, but you're.

[Foley]

On the right show.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Foley]

You're in good company.

[Ian Cobbler]

But yeah, just, just be careful when you're in the forest because it's, you know, it definitely threw me for a loop, but.

[I]

Wow.

[Brandon Walker]

What's the prime age for a tongue? Like, do you age? Do you have a prime like video gamers are?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, yeah, a tongue. Like.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, like, is there what, like senior division?

[Foley]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

You're talking about when your palate develops and you have the prime ability to taste wine. Yeah, I don't think there is one. I think it depends on your development, your brain and your ability to comprehend what you're tasting. Okay. But I think at the end of the day, you know, 23, 24 years old, I really got into wine and then probably peaked in my tasting ability at 32 to 35. But it's like a muscle memory.

[Kate]

It's.

[Ian Cobbler]

It's almost like listening to a thousand thousand bands and trying to remember what everyone is.

[Che]

Okay.

[Stephen Shea]

Right.

[Ian Cobbler]

You would have to like. And then somebody plays a song for you.

[Stephen Shea]

Right.

[Ian Cobbler]

Same thing with blind tasting. You know, you're tasting wine, you're putting. You're imprinting in your brain, and then you have it again and you're trying to remember where it's from. So to pass the master SOMA exam, that's one of the hardest parts. It's not just blind tasting and be able to remember where it's from, but you have to accurately describe the nose, the palate, the structure. Structure. And then get it down to 75% correct on the test.

[I]

And it's crazy. It sounds like you also have extensive knowledge of the geography, geology, and culture of all these places. You have to know that.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

And, you know, like, you can study it. You know, Google's great. You can look at most places and look at maps.

[I]

Is there any performance enhancer that makes like a taste pop? Like, if you, like, have a little bit of thc, it's like, oh, wow.

[Ian Cobbler]

This is, you know, more notable, honestly, like, you know, maybe too much milligrams.

[I]

Yeah, right.

[Ian Cobbler]

Taste 2 milligrams, not 20. At 20, you're like trying to order Wendy's, you know, but.

[Che]

With wine, so much of it is senses and sensory. If you're trying to taste a wine, could I argue that it's best done in the dark? Because if you don't have your sense.

[Stephen Shea]

Of sight.

[Ian Cobbler]

You could argue that. But I don't think in order for it to really be enjoyable, I think it's the whole experience, the sight, the smell, the taste. But if you're, you know, if you want to entertain yourself, lock yourself in a dark closet. You know, go do it right now. I'm sure we could get a dark room.

[I]

Helen Keller would have been.

[Hank]

We got one more.

[Ian Cobbler]

A better sense of smell was really good. Cuz it was so focused. But yeah, One last wine I want.

[Hank]

To try with the big New Yorker.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Foley]

Is that.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm.

[Foley]

I'm good. Is anybody else drinking all their wine? Okay, good.

[Kate]

I got a little of pour here.

[G]

Be disrespectful not to. Got to drink it all.

[Foley]

Ian, is there a winery that sticks out in your mind because you've traveled to all these wineries that you're like, this is the craziest place I've ever been. I've never seen another winery do it like this.

[J]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Demanded budon B E U D O N You had to go to get on a gondola.

[Foley]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

In Switzerland, it's a town called Martini. And you literally show up to this little, like this like, box and it's literally like hanging on this old cable. And you're like, you push a button and like, it shuts the door. And you start going up like two miles on a cable. And you get to the top and there's this lady that was like pouring all these incredible wines on this 45 degree slope. And up in Switzerland, right, you're up in these mountains on this glacier.

[Foley]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

And then you look at this other building and I'm like, what's that? She's like, oh, that was the old gondola that broke. And I'm like, what happened? She's like, we don't need to talk about that.

[Foley]

That's what the wine's for. Loosen you. These are mine.

[Ian Cobbler]

But to me, to Boudon, it's really, really cool. Singular wines, that's probably the most unique experience I've ever had in the world of wine. But cool. I mean, Titus was there on his.

[Foley]

Honeymoon, so he knows. He's big Switzerland guy.

[Brandon Walker]

He's.

[G]

Yeah, I'm fluent in Swiss.

[Foley]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Which. Which language? There's multiple.

[I]

I'm just kidding.

[Ian Cobbler]

I know.

[G]

I was just pressing you for what was awareness off?

[Stephen Shea]

It was.

[G]

Yeah, we're on the same page. What am I looking for when I do this? I'm looking for how fast it comes down.

[Ian Cobbler]

So first, let's start with the basics. So it's tilted away from yourself and look down at, like, the chair. Like, white background.

[I]

Yeah, white background.

[Ian Cobbler]

The green is going to change everything. So white background. If you ever see somebody, like, looking up at the sky, you know, they're. They need to.

[G]

So this. This is a little darker than the other red wine. Yeah, Yeah, a little. And then the pull down, the drip down. What?

[Ian Cobbler]

So those are the tears. So it's coming down very slow because it's high alcohol.

[G]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay, so you have a very concentrated, I would say almost purple, dark garnet hue with a little pink on the meniscus. So this is showing a little bit of youth. And then the tears are coming down slow.

[G]

The speed of the tears is what we're looking for.

[Ian Cobbler]

And let's go ahead and smell it.

[Che]

Is tears also legs?

[Ian Cobbler]

Is that what tears and legs? Yeah. So the legs are. You know, people talk about, does it have good legs? And that's when the tears come down. Down, almost making it look like legs. Yeah. Please.

[Stephen Shea]

Purple tooth.

[Foley]

Brandon.

[G]

Brandon is here.

[Che]

What does. What does grip mean?

[Ian Cobbler]

So that's the tannin. Oh, like, does it grip like. Remember we tasted that wine and it, like, really gripped your palate.

[Che]

Gotcha.

[G]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

So it smells for me a little bit more fancy. Smells a little bit more polished.

[Foley]

I like this one a lot. This might be my favorite.

[Brandon Walker]

It's Christmas.

[J]

See?

[Ian Cobbler]

So that's the spice from the oak.

[Che]

Good.

[Kate]

It's good.

[Foley]

Getting, like, dates. Like a fig Newton.

[Che]

A little fig Newton. I think it kind of smells like shoe polish.

[Stephen Shea]

Okay.

[Che]

Am I crazy?

[Ian Cobbler]

So maybe like a new. Almost like a new car smell. You smell that? A little bit.

[Foley]

It does.

[Che]

Oh, I can't smell that a little bit.

[Ian Cobbler]

Like, if you just bought a New? Yeah, I would say like a. Like a new Mustang or something. You get in, like a glove box. There's a little leather, but there's also some of that other smell.

[Brandon Walker]

So you brought up a lot of places where wine is. Any Asian countries making wine?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, China.

[Che]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

China is up and coming. I have a good buddy, James Suckling, who lives in Hong Kong. Last time I was there, he. He blind tasted me on some project by Lafitte Rothschild, classic old school producer in Poyak in Bordeaux. They. They have some vineyards out there, but, yeah, China's a huge, huge place. And so there's. There's actually some great terroirs there, but it's slightly difficult. Other Asian places, what makes it difficult? Humidity, Rain? Yeah, those two things, they. They create fungal pressure. So you want to be in a place where it's not really going to rain until October, for example. California is great. You know, I would say anywhere. Anywhere around, like, Central Europe as well. France, Germany's great. Austria, Italy, Spain, California. Those are, like, the major ones.

[Hank]

Why don't our dry Middle Eastern brothers and sisters. Why can't they. They chef something up?

[Ian Cobbler]

Middle Eastern, right?

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

So the grapevine vitisiniferous actually came from the Middle east originally, so a lot of it came from Armenia and through Iran. A lot of. A lot of the great grapes. And then the, you know, the. The Romans kind of cropped them and spread them around Europe.

[Hank]

Got it.

[Ian Cobbler]

But yeah, so, you know, not the greatest terroir in the world, but there are some places in Eastern Europe and, you know, Armenia is really the cradle of winemaking.

[Foley]

I'm getting a little chatty here. Little glasses of wine. I have one more last question for me about wine. So, you know, you have all the great places where it's grown, but. So I grew up outside Philadelphia in the suburbs, and Chester county would have, like, a handful of wineries that you would go to. To that you're sitting there drinking it because it's cute that they're there, and that's fun. And I don't really know. So I'm like, yeah, this is just great because it's booze. Are there actually good wines, like, in the middle? Like. Like, is there a good Pennsylvania? Is there. Is there, like, the best Philly suburban wine? Or is it, like.

[Ian Cobbler]

No, I'd say it's more like you guys are having the best Philly cheesesteak, you know?

[Foley]

Okay, so. But it's, like, cute that they're there.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, maybe.

[Hank]

Is it cute?

[Ian Cobbler]

I don't know. Is it Chad.

[Foley]

Yes, that's the one.

[Ian Cobbler]

But, I mean, there's some good stuff in Virginia, some New York wines, but Philly, I don't know about that.

[Foley]

Okay. All right.

[Ian Cobbler]

But you know, like, you know, reach out. Find me at the. The Cobblestone and invite me. Invite me to your winery.

[Foley]

I'll come, you know, holding you to it.

[G]

They're trying. Yeah, that's all.

[Foley]

You know, it's fun that they're there.

[Brandon Walker]

And it's like, hey, Brandon, doing a killing, this wine. And you're eating the pizza and just setting it on the ground.

[Kate]

It's not on the ground. It's on my yak. It's on my yak.

[Stephen Shea]

Prep sheet, boys.

[J]

Angry drunk.

[I]

I'm getting. I'm pretty drunk.

[Che]

Today.

[Kate]

You look way better than you did two hours ago.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[I]

Guys want to.

[Ian Cobbler]

All right, everyone.

[Foley]

Tastes.

[Ian Cobbler]

All right, let's. Let's. Let's talk about the structure. Acid alcohol.

[G]

Yeah. Brandon, taste your next sip here.

[Ian Cobbler]

Tannin.

[Kate]

I'm all right. I'm all right. No, I'm okay.

[Foley]

Wait, can we have Che walk us through a full thing. Thing like Ian did with this one? The final test.

[Ian Cobbler]

Do the sight.

[Che]

All right. Sight is very purpley. It's got some. It's got some. It's a triangle shape. It is lighter on the outside, which makes sense.

[I]

Triangle shape.

[Brandon Walker]

What's triangle?

[G]

What.

[I]

What is that?

[Kate]

It's. It's no longer a triangle when you like, it looks.

[G]

Or.

[Che]

Yeah, I guess that's just the amount that I have in my glass, but it just kind of. That's what it looks like to me.

[Hank]

And liquid fills the container that it's in.

[Che]

Yeah, that's fair. All right. Triangle might have been a little off base. It looks like it's got some high alcohol content.

[Kate]

Are you about to hit your breaking point over there?

[Ian Cobbler]

No, I just think that it looks triangle. That it looks like a triangle. No. Yeah, that's pretty hilarious because. No, he's.

[Che]

He's right.

[Brandon Walker]

How is he right?

[Foley]

Right? Because.

[Ian Cobbler]

No, because it. It does have a triangle shape in the glass. I just would never think of saying that. Not like it's a pizza.

[Che]

You know, the smell is quite strong. It's.

[Kate]

Is he smelling it? Right?

[Che]

I was told you're supposed to, you know. Is that true?

[Ian Cobbler]

You can smell a little slower.

[Kate]

Okay, Slower.

[Che]

Is. Is smell not like.

[Ian Cobbler]

Not like a hose that was turned on and full. Maybe you just turned the hose on a little bit and, like, reversed it. Why is your mouth doing that?

[Che]

I was told you're supposed to open Your mouth when you smell. Is that wrong?

[Ian Cobbler]

You can gently. Yeah. But maybe a little less aggressive.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Engage the lower lip.

[Hank]

Stop snoring into the wine.

[Kate]

So what does it smell like?

[Che]

It smells like varnish to me. Is that wrong?

[Stephen Shea]

I don't know.

[Ian Cobbler]

I think we need to get your nose checked out.

[G]

Yeah.

[Che]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

Is there a doctor?

[Che]

The taste is interesting.

[Ian Cobbler]

Everything smells like a balloon and varnish and like, his back soccer. It's a sort of wood treatment.

[Che]

It tastes like a brown leather belt, not black.

[Ian Cobbler]

Dude. I'm not sure if there's a big.

[Che]

Difference, I think, between brown and black leather. Yes.

[Hank]

Get RG3 back.

[Che]

And some clementine.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Foley]

No, and belt in a clementine and a triangle.

[Hank]

Jay, I'm genuinely impressed that you're able to access this many ideas of what smells are such varied ideas. Years of like, oh, this.

[Che]

So I put out a video this morning. I did a tour of a winery in Paso Robles, and there was a wine there, and it had the most distinct smell I've ever smelled in my life. It was my elementary school hallway, and it was a specific spot.

[Ian Cobbler]

I can smell my elementary school that way, too. Yeah, I think everybody can.

[G]

Unique smell.

[Ian Cobbler]

Or the garage you grew up in. Right.

[Hank]

The stairway of your elementary school.

[Ian Cobbler]

Not that I grew up in a garage, but, you know, like your home house. Right. There's a smell to, like, your memories in childhood. And I think that's when you're tasting wine in general. You're. You're smelling and you're describing memories that kind of reflect these aromas and these. These. These things that actually aren't that. It does. It's not cherry. It's not BlackBerry. It's not oak. It is. It is technically oak, but these memories are kind of their ways to communicate about the wine. So when you're smelling certain things, it's. It's just your memory. It doesn't mean you're wrong or you're right. And it's just communicating about wine.

[Che]

Okay. I love it. What. So what are we dealing with here? What is this type of wine?

[Ian Cobbler]

Let's give you a little more.

[Che]

Okay. All right. Am I guessing?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, go ahead, Brandon.

[Foley]

Don't be shy.

[Ian Cobbler]

So do you have a guess? So new or old one? Let's all, as a group, let's hear.

[Foley]

Because Brandon. I feel like Brandon thinks he's better than everyone.

[Hank]

Yeah, he does.

[Foley]

I would like Brandon to.

[Kate]

At no point do I think I'm better than everyone. I enjoy wild wine with dinner.

[Foley]

I've had too much. Brandon thinks he's better than everybody.

[Ian Cobbler]

What's your go to. What are you. What are you drinking?

[Kate]

I always get a. Just a cab.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay.

[Kate]

That's always what I always get because that's what all my wife likes.

[Ian Cobbler]

Napa Cab. And I don't. That California.

[Kate]

I don't even try.

[G]

I say, whatever you learned today, Brandon, about wine.

[Kate]

I have learned that we need to do these shows once a week.

[Stephen Shea]

That's what I have learned. I.

[Che]

Hey, I.

[Ian Cobbler]

Every single two hours home, every single.

[Kate]

Wine you brought me, I have enjoyed every time.

[G]

Ian's, like, explaining each glass of wine, and he's like, so what you're going to find here when you taste it, I look over, Brandon is gone. He's like, so all of you haven't tasted it yet, but when you taste it, you might notice this. And Brandon's just.

[Kate]

You guys are treating this as a learning exercise. I just think this guy's bringing us incredible wines, and they're delicious.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'll send you guys some more anytime you want me on. I can zoom in from.

[Kate]

You can come in every goddamn day if you want.

[G]

It's fine.

[Kate]

I enjoy. I enjoy the wine.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay.

[Che]

All right.

[J]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

So newer, old World. Where are we at?

[Che]

Is this.

[Ian Cobbler]

Is this. Does this have oak more fancy, more new car, or is this old Corvette?

[Che]

You know, I feel like it has oak. What does that mean?

[Ian Cobbler]

So likely more New World, but that there's. There's. There's new oak and Old World wines, too. So it's more like, does it smell more fruity and oaky, or does it smell more earthy and like, you know, know you're. You're smelling the dirt.

[Brandon Walker]

I'm afraid to be wrong.

[Che]

I kind of smell dirt now that you say that.

[Ian Cobbler]

But still, you can still smell earth on New World wines, right?

[Foley]

So wait, can we all guess? Can we all do New World or Old World?

[Brandon Walker]

Let's do it.

[Foley]

And whoever's wrong has to chug another bottle of wine and then insult brandy.

[Ian Cobbler]

I have more wine.

[Kate]

I have more wine.

[Ian Cobbler]

I didn't want to, like.

[Kate]

How much did you bring?

[Hank]

How much did you bring?

[Che]

Bottles.

[Ian Cobbler]

No, I have two more.

[Foley]

Raise your hand if it's New World.

[Hank]

I think I'm going Old World.

[Che]

I. I'm with Kate, Nick, and J.

[Foley]

The big.

[Hank]

So I'll go Old World.

[G]

I'll go old.

[Kate]

I'm a throne. The cool guys, I guess, are just all going.

[Che]

Did you go.

[Brandon Walker]

I said new.

[Che]

All right.

[Ian Cobbler]

I said me, Kate, Nick. So this is a new world.

[Hank]

Get that out of here.

[Ian Cobbler]

Second guess for Life.

[Hank]

How so? So tell us again, now that we've tasted it, how exactly do we know that it's. That it's New World?

[Ian Cobbler]

Well, you smell it. There's like a lot of polish. It just smells very, I would say familiar. This is like this new leather kind of new wood smell some ripe fruits.

[Che]

What color leather?

[Hank]

See the triangle?

[Ian Cobbler]

What color leather? I'm getting the classic, you know, cognac brown.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

And a new BMW like X7 in particular.

[Che]

Okay.

[Hank]

Okay, that's getting close to henness.

[Ian Cobbler]

There is an open bottle of he in the trunk though, at the same time. There's some alcohol here.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Brandon, you're.

[G]

Brandon's gone.

[Ian Cobbler]

Remember? Remember, there's none of that.

[Kate]

I'm enjoying this.

[Stephen Shea]

No.

[I]

Oh, none of that.

[Ian Cobbler]

No, you can't do that. Do I look at it or. You can't do that. You're going to put all your guacamole that you're in your chips and all your fingerprints on.

[Hank]

Not even the thumb cake.

[Ian Cobbler]

You know, all the fingerprints.

[Foley]

I always thought red wine, you could hold the glass, cuz it's warm.

[Ian Cobbler]

You can do whatever you want. For the record.

[Kate]

Okay, I do what you tell me.

[Ian Cobbler]

I just can't ever hang out with you again.

[Hank]

What about people who hold the stem like they're trying to grip through? Like. Like they're. They're like crayon. Yeah, like a crayon.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Maybe you should take a Xanax or.

[Hank]

Something, relax a little bit.

[Ian Cobbler]

Brandon, are you. Meditation in the morning.

[Brandon Walker]

Are you getting horny?

[Kate]

No, not really. Come on. Did you think I was fondling my.

[Brandon Walker]

You like were licking your lips off in the distance?

[Kate]

No, I'm just terrified. When I drink red wine, I wear it on my lips and my teeth. So I was.

[Foley]

I'm texting his wife right now to warn her. Almost over.

[Brandon Walker]

He's drinking again.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, you guys want to know what this is?

[Stephen Shea]

Yes.

[Che]

Or do you want to guess?

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, fine.

[Hank]

Oh, shake it. Let him guess, let him guess.

[Ian Cobbler]

Region.

[Che]

New world region.

[Ian Cobbler]

You want to talk about new world areas?

[Che]

Yes.

[Ian Cobbler]

All right, so we got America. So California, South Africa. Technically, New World, Australia. New Zealand, Chile. Argentina.

[Che]

I'm going to say this is. Is American. More specifically California. Okay. Actually, no change. Oregon.

[Ian Cobbler]

No, that's just let it roll.

[Stephen Shea]

You're right.

[Che]

West Coast.

[Ian Cobbler]

West coast, yeah, West Coast. This is from.

[Che]

San Francisco.

[Ian Cobbler]

Close. No, it's too cold.

[Che]

Napa. Yes. Ah, Napa.

[Ian Cobbler]

Good, you caught you. So this is Cabernet Sauvignon. This is method. Anybody have the bottle? If you Want to grab it from my bag?

[Foley]

This is my favorite one. This was really good.

[Che]

This was your favorite? Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

So I make this.

[Kate]

I like this one. And the second one.

[Ian Cobbler]

This is my. This is my one. So I make this with my friend Trevor.

[I]

This is yours?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah. Wow.

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm glad you like it. Yeah, I would just left.

[G]

Wow.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah. So it's good. It's available Most. Most of the country. Retails not that expensive. About 35 retail.

[G]

Ian, important question for. For me at home. When. When you pour wine out of a bottle, how do you make sure it doesn't drip?

[Che]

Oh, that's a great question.

[Ian Cobbler]

Is there a method? Yeah, you just.

[G]

You have to just. You have to just deal with it and get the.

[Ian Cobbler]

So, you know, you pour it. You pour it, and then at the end, you kind of, like, got it like this. So that way the drop kind of goes down.

[G]

Okay.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah. Or you can get a pour stop.

[G]

Which you're not going to do because I feel like. Yeah, you get a nice bottle of wine, you're trying to set a mood, and then you pour it, and then you're like. And you go get a PA and then you're kind of just.

[Brandon Walker]

Paper towel ruins the movie.

[G]

Paper towel ruins the movie.

[Ian Cobbler]

Or you pour it all over your guest, you know? Yeah, just.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

All over their white dress. Sorry about that.

[I]

Yeah.

[Foley]

I have something to say about people that are. That are different than me.

[Che]

Let it out.

[Ian Cobbler]

What do you want? That stuff I spilled on you. Now you're a little buzz. Why don't you just let it out? Just whatever you want to.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

So just like, this turn. Boom. Yeah, you're good.

[G]

You gotta get the turn.

[Hank]

Yeah. If you had to put them in order from most expensive to least expensive.

[Che]

What.

[Hank]

What's one of the price points of the four that we tasted, the first.

[Ian Cobbler]

Wine was just under 40 bucks. The second wine was 59. The third wine was 48. The last wine was 35. So all relatively good price points. They're all. Yeah, they're all in the store at the cobblest. But yeah. Brought some stuff that's, you know, wine doesn't need to be. Be expensive.

[I]

Do you ever, like, blindfold your sommelier homies and then, like, prank them?

[Ian Cobbler]

Not really. I would say, like, blind tasting, you know, you need to. You need to see the site, you know?

[I]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah, I think, you know, we don't normally, like, lock people in a closet in a black room or something like that.

[Hank]

And how about when you're going out to. To, like, drink? Are you looking at a price range or are you looking for something specific?

[Ian Cobbler]

I'm usually looking for something specific. You know, if I'm going out to drink, depends on who I'm with. If you're splitting, you know, really nice bottles that are four or five hundred bucks with a group, or if it's just me and my wife, I'm looking for like, good French wine. Beaujolais, Burgundy, some good white burgundy. Usually, you know, 80 to 150 is kind of like my. My sweet spot.

[G]

What's your alcohol? Guilty pleasure.

[Ian Cobbler]

Mezcal.

[Hank]

The best.

[Ian Cobbler]

Mezcal margaritas by the pool.

[G]

The best.

[Ian Cobbler]

If you ever come to Napa, reach out in the summer, we have some fun parties. 30s, Big Green Egg going, smoking meat, drinking Mezcal.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh, man.

[Ian Cobbler]

People jumping in the pool.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Good God.

[G]

Yeah.

[Ian Cobbler]

Napa living is pretty good.

[Hank]

An incredible life.

[Ian Cobbler]

And it's, you know, and it's, you know, it's like 55 in the winter. Not like you guys.

[G]

Yeah, it's 2 degrees and snow in Chicago right now.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, you guys are all Chicago people.

[I]

Yeah.

[Foley]

Any good Chicago wines? Is there any?

[Ian Cobbler]

No.

[Stephen Shea]

I mean.

[Kate]

Shut the up, Brandon.

[Foley]

I dislike you so deeply.

[Ian Cobbler]

Up more of an Italian.

[Kate]

Every time you talk to go to.

[Foley]

The doctor, something's really wrong.

[Ian Cobbler]

The up the deep dish pizza and the Italian beef are probably the go to right person.

[Che]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Right.

[G]

Yeah.

[Che]

I have a question, Ian. As a Somalia, you're probably familiar with a lot of like, after effects and stuff like that of alcohol. Do you think four and a half minutes is too long to pee? Chase, shut the upper airplane.

[Ian Cobbler]

If you're on an airplane.

[Hank]

What do you mean four and a half minutes of peeing all coming out being.

[Che]

Being in the restroom?

[Ian Cobbler]

Well, I mean, how many beers did you have?

[Che]

Zero.

[Brandon Walker]

There you had a problem, Brandon. A guy sent me a video of him pissing for four and a half minutes.

[Foley]

That's impossible.

[I]

That's not possible.

[Brandon Walker]

Watched it.

[Stephen Shea]

And then if you walk into the.

[Kate]

Bathroom and you're six foot five, it takes you a minute.

[Brandon Walker]

It doesn't matter.

[Kate]

Yes, it does.

[Stephen Shea]

It takes you a minute to get.

[Kate]

To get adjusted to the bathroom. I got to turn and then I gotta turn the water on, do my hair real quick. And I gotta turn. I gotta put my knees on the toilet and sink to the right. I gotta hunch down so I can pee. I'm a minute and a half in. I haven't even peed yet.

[Brandon Walker]

And being a toilet, that doesn't count.

[Ian Cobbler]

That doesn't count the four and a half minutes.

[Kate]

No this was count.

[Ian Cobbler]

They.

[Kate]

They clocked my entire. From walking in to walking out.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh, you're taking the belt off and all that stuff.

[Kate]

Well, no, I'm not taking a belt, but I'm just. I gotta get in the right position. And then finally I gotta. I gotta concentrate, and I gotta convince myself to pee.

[G]

Pull your pants down your ankles.

[Che]

Yeah, sat down.

[Kate]

I didn't sit down.

[Che]

Oh, you just did your thing like you're sitting.

[Kate]

I can't stand in the bathroom. I have to get to a certain hunch where I'm. Where I'm peeing.

[Ian Cobbler]

I think you guys got to restart the timer when you turn the hose on and off.

[Kate]

Agreed, agreed. But they just. They did from seat to seat.

[Ian Cobbler]

No, that's not in the bathroom.

[Brandon Walker]

But you wait for some first row of first class. Right?

[Kate]

I was first row, first class.

[Brandon Walker]

But not a long walk to the bathroom.

[J]

No, but.

[Kate]

But still, it's just. It takes me a while. Hogdale, you know what I'm talking about? These. These. These airports, these airplane bathrooms, they take two minutes to get used to before you even pee. Thank you.

[Foley]

Hogdale is Hogdale the wine guy.

[I]

Get Hogdale a bottle.

[Hank]

Chug a bottle.

[Stephen Shea]

Come chuck a bottle.

[Ian Cobbler]

I mean, I've got an extra bottle.

[Foley]

Can we have a Hogdale wine tasting? Just bring them on it.

[Kate]

Let Hogdale do everything.

[Ian Cobbler]

We do have one. We have a couple more wines. Probably too much, though, before Hogdale.

[Brandon Walker]

Does that teach. Can I do this right now?

[Ian Cobbler]

Yes.

[Brandon Walker]

All right, I'm gonna do another taste test.

[Foley]

Perfect.

[Brandon Walker]

The Pepsi Challenge. Thank you to Pepsi for sponsoring Pepsi Super Bowl. LX spot brings light to a similar phenomenon of discovery and truth. The Pepsi paradox. The idea that when labels and bias disappear, cola drinkers prefer the taste of Pepsi. A phenomenon that blind taste tests have repeatedly proven. You can look at our board right now. It has proven that in the 2025 revival of the Pepsi Challenge, 66% of participants agreed. Pepsi Zero sugar tastes better than Coca Cola. Zero sugar. Pepsi wins on taste. Sometimes you have to flip your world upside down to discover what's been right there the entire time. Who. Who's doing the Pepsi Challenge today? Ah. We spin. You deserve taste. You deserve Pepsi zero sugar. Let your taste aside to go. Try it today. Taste. Superiority. All right, Time for the Pepsi Challenge presented by Pepsi.

[G]

All right.

[Ian Cobbler]

Okay.

[Hank]

Keep drinking.

[Ian Cobbler]

So what's the challenge like?

[Brandon Walker]

We have regular pop. Pepsi versus Pepsi, zero sugar.

[Ian Cobbler]

Versus Coca Cola, zero sugar.

[Brandon Walker]

And so far, we're 20 for Pepsi.

[Ian Cobbler]

We do it all week. Okay, Try both and then tell Me. Which one tastes better?

[Foley]

Good legs. Gross. Okay.

[Hank]

I love the Kate Brandon rivalry that's going on right now at only a long time.

[Brandon Walker]

Time coming.

[Hank]

Bottle of wine could unlock.

[Foley]

Guys, I'm so afraid these are both.

[Brandon Walker]

You two need to bang this out.

[Ian Cobbler]

Really? Did you hear that? Really got to do that.

[Hank]

They got six kids between them.

[Ian Cobbler]

Kate just wants to. She's just thirsty.

[Kate]

He's just used to drinking.

[Brandon Walker]

Now Kate's thirsty. She liked this one more.

[Ian Cobbler]

Oh.

[G]

I have bad taste.

[Foley]

But is it any surprise that I have bad taste?

[Stephen Shea]

Everybody knew I had bad taste.

[Hank]

You just said his wine's your favorite wine.

[Kate]

Record.

[Ian Cobbler]

You weren't very. She wasn't very sure she had to taste. 20 times was a big spot sponsorship.

[Kate]

Everybody knows she lost so much money.

[G]

Kate, look in the camera and apologize.

[Foley]

Sorry.

[I]

She genuinely.

[G]

I thought they at least tipped you off before you.

[Stephen Shea]

I thought we knew which was which.

[G]

I thought they both were.

[I]

Pepsi.

[G]

Holy dude.

[Ian Cobbler]

This is our livelihood.

[Hank]

It says 66%.

[I]

That's two out of three Coca Cola's in the war room celebrating.

[G]

Just suck. Dempsey, go get a shot of the Coke war room.

[Stephen Shea]

Just destroy the Coke war room.

[Che]

It's not a big deal. Come through.

[G]

It was that easy?

[Stephen Shea]

We're fucked, Sco.

[Ian Cobbler]

You fucked us.

[Foley]

I had tannins all over my tongue like a velvet rug. I couldn't taste anything.

[Ian Cobbler]

You can just blame me.

[Foley]

I have bad taste. I have bad taste.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[Foley]

I love Pepsi.

[Ian Cobbler]

Should we spin the wheel? Well, we just lost the sponsor, so it's fine.

[Kate]

We gotta spin the wheel.

[G]

We should spin the wheel.

[Kate]

Gonna get out of here. TJ sp.

[Stephen Shea]

This has been so illuminating though. Sales team so panicked over there. What do we do?

[Kate]

At least two of them are getting.

[Hank]

Laid off running up and down the hallways.

[Foley]

I want MB to like me.

[Kate]

So.

[I]

Pepsi's jumping out of the the window.

[Foley]

All right, me.

[G]

Good show.

[Kate]

We'll see you guys tomorrow.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yeah.

[G]

Thank you.

[Stephen Shea]

Thank you so much, man.

[Ian Cobbler]

Yes, pleasure, brother.

[Stephen Shea]

Thank you so much for coming.

[Ian Cobbler]

Thank you, guys.

[Stephen Shea]

It's the act.

[G]

Yeah.

[Hank]

It's time to talk shop.

[Che]

Or do a Yankee swap.

[Stephen Shea]

Is the act.

[Ian Cobbler]

Hell of an episode. See you guys tomorrow.

[Stephen Shea]

Go to radio tonight.

[Foley]

All right.

[Ian Cobbler]

Love you guys.

[Stephen Shea]

Bye.