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A
Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
B
Trust no one and accuse everyone and who's the Bad Guy? The official barstool sports social deduction game. From the brilliant mind of Nick to Rainey, in what's quickly becoming the most popular new party game around, players are secretly assigned unique roles with the good guys trying to expose the bad guys and the bad guys doing everything they can to stay stay hidden. Each game unfolds under alternating day and night phases with roles like the cool chick, the shy guy, the gambler, el presidente, the mentalist, the planner, the funny guy, and more. Every round is unpredictable, chaotic and ridiculously fun. Who's the Bad Guy is great for parties, pre games, family gatherings or groups who just love deception based games. Game night will never be the same. Shop now on Walmart.com.
C
Hello, it's the yak. Welcome in. Stellbluecoffee.com Stella Blue coffee ready to drink cans, cold brew K cups, ground coffee. All of it to save dogs. Stelbluecoffee.com and we have the Stell Blue Coffee hole for mini golf that is coming up after the yak today. Every 5,000 we sell at stellbluecoffee.com or Amazon. I'm gonna give away $100 to three people in the chat and then I'm also giving away anyone who hits the hole in one. $200.
A
That's the hardest hole on the course.
C
Yeah, we got to take that log out. I feel like there changes to this course before we start. Yeah, it's too hard.
D
It's hard. It's not even like a fun hard where like if you get it fun hard. There are some fun.
A
There's fun parts.
D
It's not even like if you get like a whole one, you're like, I conquered the beast. It's just like I was lucky as fuck.
C
Right?
A
It took big T44 attempts to get a hole in one on that one.
C
This, it's also daunting for me because we're gonna do the draft in a minute. But like having the, the basically the dictator of mini golf be the captain of the team I'm going up against. And Hank, like, he makes all the rules. He made the course.
D
So we're already. That actually makes a lot of sense, right? Hank did the course, right? That explains a lot actually.
C
So we're gonna do the draft in a minute, which would be great. We're gonna have two rounds today. Also, we have an announcement. We've actually, there's. It's gonna be 12 on 12, but 10 playing today on each side. Whoa. We've expanded the roster.
A
Yeah, that's right.
E
Where the new additions.
C
Well, last night, Blutman and Spider got screwed, which I thought was very funny content. But also, there's a part of me that was like, these guys played for five hours. That kind of sucks. So Tate is on my team.
A
This is genuine, too. I've never said he almost threw a club.
C
Yeah, I mean, it was five hours of their time, like, so they should get a shot. So Tate is on my team, and then Lucas, Blutman and Spider are on their team. On the young team. Okay. And then I was told last night that Mincy just decided he was on the young team, and there's, like, nothing we can do about it. I don't know.
E
Surely there's got to be something.
C
Hank said that, like, he just decided he was on the team. I don't know. But we've added Dante. So they have Mincy. We have Dante. It's 12v12.
B
Wow.
C
Yeah.
F
Okay.
C
10 playing today. 10 playing round one. 10 playing round two.
G
Cool.
C
So there'll be two people sitting out.
H
Danny, which team are you on?
A
Oh, Danny, that sucks. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah, you should be mad.
C
Oh, I am.
E
It was the worst possible outcome for him.
C
Yours came early, right?
E
I was the only one who didn't get picked. Well, actually, I got picked and unpicked.
C
That's where it's different than the Blutman and Spider. Like, if you had stayed five hours, whoever was in that spot of Blutman and Spider, I would have said he
A
had to stay and do social.
C
Oh, well, that's his job.
A
And then he didn't get to play a game.
E
That's fine. It's just, if it was anyone else besides Dante, I wouldn't care.
C
Yeah, that's kind of fucked up.
A
It's personal.
C
All right, well, we'll get Dante in here, and he can. He. I will give him the option of giving his spot to you. No, he will, then.
I
He will.
E
Yeah.
C
Okay.
E
I don't want. I don't want him to feel we
J
even get to that spot where you didn't get on the team.
E
Tate, they said it. They said at the start there's gonna be one person.
J
But how did you even get to the bottom three?
E
I think it was bottom like five. I was drafted, and then he saw I was down to two girls, and he was like, well, my mom raised me right.
I
You're gonna say the name.
C
This is gonna be great.
I
Say the name of the person you're picking.
C
And this was. This was the only thing that happened last night online. I don't know if you guys.
D
Yes.
H
Yeah.
C
That was it.
K
It was.
C
It. It was barstool mini golf. And we almost.
A
They cheated. Tate Lucas.
C
Yes. Yes, yes. And there also was a bomb that went off. Well, no. Trump called it back. Oh, good.
A
Okay, cool.
B
And the guy's ass was out at the Cubs game.
C
And the guy's ass. He doesn't know we're doing a joke.
J
I. I have.
C
I have a take on the 100% CH. Doesn't know we're doing.
A
I feel horrible for that guy.
D
Oh, absolutely.
A
I feel horrible.
H
I didn't see that.
A
It broke my heart to watch.
C
He got a ball.
E
He did.
C
So that's.
A
That's fair play at a Brewers game, isn't.
C
No, it. Ray's cup was.
A
Okay.
C
Oh, my God. His pants are already falling down. I actually think it might be fake. That or I just think we need. We need more context. Like, sometimes you stand on a rooftop at a really beautiful hotel in Sedona and you interlock your fingers with someone. Like, you need context.
H
I haven't been paying attention. Anything. I just want to double down on my point from yesterday that guys and girls can be friends.
C
Yeah.
H
And nothing more.
C
And bikay. B. I say to you all the time, like, dude, you want to lock up? Oh, yeah, flip it.
D
Yeah.
C
Like, we just do this.
A
Yeah. But you two are.
C
Yeah, I'm him for information. Damn it. Yeah. This was quite a story.
D
The top left is, but, Kate, do
A
you know this story?
D
You do that when you're at the office. It's also the only place you.
A
They're married to each other.
G
No.
D
No.
H
Well, then they're just good friends.
C
No one friends. No one is going to feel bad for me, and no one should. But, like, the fact that I. I personally know both of these people was like, I saw it on my phone last night. I was like, oh, what the fuck, man?
A
That's all you can do.
C
We came in because I was like, we have to talk about it. I said, that's all the guys. Like, we can't just ignore it. So we came in and we did a emergency segment on pmt. Probably didn't. I mean, I'm not going to fucking. I'm not going to shit on them on their worst moment, but I should have made some more jokes. I don't see the difference between that and Jay Glazer having 25 coaches at the pool with him, like, that's the same thing. That was a joke.
H
And that could be friends.
C
Okay, it was 100 a joke.
H
Maybe he's a handsy guy and he just wanted to like. And that is just. And she's too polite.
C
Well, I went through the range of the motions because last night I was like, yeah, you know what? That's nothing. And then I woke up this morning, I was like, that might not be nothing.
A
I went right to the Patriots sub.
D
This is. This is the funniest one to me. Well, so your whole story was like, there are a lot of. They did the Nathan Fielder tweet.
A
Yes.
D
All my friends are out of frame. Yeah, everyone's out of. Oh my God. I don't know how they cropped this picture. Cuz there are so many people outside of the frame.
A
And then see the resort, it's four couples. It's like build as a romantic getaway for couples.
D
Do you.
C
Do you ever have a moment where like you don't fully understand something until you have to explain it to someone else? Like, that's when it clicks. So last night, this story breaks and again I'm like, you know, everyone knows we've had both of these people on the show multiple times, and I consider both of them friends. So like, I was like, immediate. Like, you know, I don't want to on them. They're friends. And so I was like, yeah, maybe it was just nothing. 11:30 last night, I was in bed and I get a text from one. The only one that like, would ever text me at 11:30 at night. It was Diana. No, it was Stephen Che. And Che. And Stephen Che texted me and he said, I'm gonna fire off a tweet defending Diana. And I was like, he's like, is that cool? And I was like, just maybe pump the brakes. And he's like, why? They were at the coaches thing? And like, it's not a big deal. And I was like, ah, dude, they were at Sedona and there's a private roof deck. And he was like, oh. So I'd explain the whole situation, Stephen. And then it clicked for me. And I was like, yeah, this doesn't
J
listen that what we just saw was a coaches forum.
C
No, the coaches forum was in Scottsdale. That was two days before similar timing.
H
Yeah, but what she said she was at a girls thing. Right?
C
Right.
H
Hear me out. Say you're at a bachelor party.
C
Yeah.
H
With a bunch of non sports dudes. A bunch of dweebs.
C
Right.
H
And Mike Vrabel comes over, and you're like, you know what you would say? You'd say, let's go to the roof.
C
Let's lock up.
H
You'd say, let's go to the roof deck and talk ball.
C
Yeah, let's lock.
H
Let's leave these. So maybe she was at a girls weekend, and he came over just to say hi to the girls, and she's like, they don't know anything about football. You want to go talk ball on the roof?
D
They're hugging. Great conversation.
A
The only reason I could believe it, because it, like, so blatant that there's no way it could be what you're seeing.
C
Yeah. Yeah.
A
The Patriots subreddit, they were trying to say that maybe they were praying.
G
Oh.
C
But, yeah, in explaining to Stephen that's.
D
That's, yeah. Insane. I, I, it dawned on me my. My wife and I didn't do that at our. At the altar.
E
Yeah.
D
When you're getting married, you don't get, like, that intimate.
C
Yeah.
D
With your hands.
G
The.
C
So explaining to Stephen made me realize, like, oh, yeah, I'm an idiot.
H
But.
C
And I again, I'm not gonna.
D
Kate really doesn't want this to.
H
Because guys and girls can be friends. Well, Kate, maybe they're talking about when you have a pick six that hits the. The back line, you're locked the gridiron. Maybe they're doing gridiron hands.
A
I thought that, too.
H
K. You know what I mean?
D
Classic gridiron.
C
Yeah.
D
Yeah, yeah.
H
I've never been wrong before. I have good judgment. Yeah.
B
I feel like the hands pick the worst.
D
Oh, no.
H
Oh, yeah.
C
It's tough. Like, I, I, I do. Oh, spf. I do. I mean, I still consider them. I'm not gonna, like, totally. I'm gonna make. I should have made jokes about it. That's what I should have done.
D
Yeah.
C
And I told Memes. I was like, dude, I came in and I was like, dude, you can tweet whatever the you want. I don't care.
H
Isn't.
J
Is that the woman that Max already did on?
C
No. They have a soda rivalry. Yeah.
D
Yeah.
F
He farted on a plane next to her.
C
Yeah.
J
So.
C
Yeah. So. Yeah.
J
Okay.
H
Yeah.
C
It's not. What are you gonna do? It's not great.
D
None of this would have.
C
Great. It's not great.
D
None of this would have happened if the Patriots just won the super bowl and Variable cut his off.
A
Yeah, you're right.
C
I also had a.
D
You wouldn't had a. To use.
A
They might have scissored.
C
If I could do some PR for them real quick. I also think that there's a chance this could be like, you know when we were watching the World Baseball Classic and the Dominicans have like these awesome elaborate handshakes. What if that was just a interlock, hands hug, Hour at the pool, half hour, Jacuzzi handshake.
D
Yeah.
H
Yeah.
D
Watch the sun.
A
Yeah, right. I guess you could look at it that way.
C
It's just an elaborate day long handshake.
J
It doesn't look too intimate. Their body language looks a little bit awkward. Okay, so I don't think they were making love. I think they were just. Probably just hard.
C
Yeah.
J
Purely for.
A
Purely for the.
J
I think it was purely.
D
Okay, they're cheating on their spouses.
H
What if they're not?
A
Or they could be open.
D
How.
C
No, they could not be. Dj, do you have the picture case? You know that this is.
D
This is disgusting.
B
They have kids.
D
They're blowing up their families.
C
Kate and I went.
D
They're defending.
C
It's crazy. It's crazy. Kate.
D
Hold it yourself.
C
Hey.
K
Yeah.
H
I would never do something like that.
A
I always look to you for the moral high ground. What's going on? Right.
H
Nothing's good. I'm just saying I think people do that sometimes. It doesn't mean they're together. Sometimes you go under the train tracks, they link hands.
C
Yeah. They can't help.
H
Sometimes you're on a roof. And these are just friends.
E
Even if they were.
C
See, that's like normal.
A
Oh, that's fine.
C
That's totally normal.
H
Yeah.
C
What the guys.
H
Two friends talk.
C
Yeah.
A
That's just as rough.
C
We do this all the time. All the time. How does this exist?
H
That's two friends talking.
C
We went to test it out.
A
Oh, you actually.
C
And Kate and I just, like, we're staring at each other being like. Yeah.
H
I was like, yeah, this is really, really.
C
We were like, let's go see for ourselves. So. Yeah.
D
Yeah.
A
It's a weird situation, I imagine for you.
C
Yeah. Oh, very. But I mean, again, no one should feel bad for me. It's like, what are you gonna.
A
No, no. It's no a bad thing.
C
Yeah, it is. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna defend. I'm not gonna defend it. I. I hope that they're doing okay. Is like. I don't want them as people to
A
be like, you gotta feel bad for the.
F
The.
C
Oh, I feel terrible.
A
Husband.
C
Seeing kids see jokes. For sure. For sure. That sucks.
H
My only thinking with that stuff is like, how on earth do you think people aren't gonna.
F
Yeah.
E
How Exactly.
H
You're gonna get away with.
C
I also think that, like, those. Those cameras were like, someone was spying on.
H
On who took that picture.
C
Yeah. Cuz that's not like a regular person being like, oh, I think I know them.
H
Can I give you my Bravo house? Like tinfoil hat to you?
A
A spouse hired us. I'm thinking that too.
H
Yes, Pete.
J
Oh, yeah. That's a thing.
H
That's what I'm thinking.
J
It must have already been suspicion.
H
Yeah, Yeah.
D
I don't. Yeah. I'm trying to think of a scenario where I'm. I'm three miles away and I'm looking over and I'm like, is that. Is that the head coach?
C
Let me zoom in real quick.
D
Let me get my phone.
A
And that must be his wife.
C
And the pictures of them walking out of the pool was very much like a professional. I have to. I have to verify it's them. Like, these are pictures that you're like, you're verifying that the people that you're going to report on are the people you're reporting on.
B
You know, where do these photos come from? Because this is not from a separate roof deck, right?
C
No, that's a person who is like, spying on them.
E
How much you think you're getting paid? Paparazzi.
J
So I'm. I don't think this is paparazzi.
D
Right.
J
It's probably a PI.
C
I think it's a piece.
H
That's what I'm saying.
C
Paparazzi would be credited, wouldn't they? Yeah, yeah.
H
Yes.
F
Just.
C
Yeah.
J
It's obviously a private resort, right?
A
Yeah.
K
Yeah.
H
Who was the first one to release it?
A
Spy.
F
They use the word. A Page Six spy tells us that the pair, both married, had breakfast on the patio of the hotel at 10:30 before spending a leisurely hour or so at the pool and lounging side by side.
H
But, like, they're doing that so openly.
F
Our spy spotted Rabel.
C
Maybe they're in open relationships that.
A
That could save it.
C
Or.
H
Spy, that sucks.
A
We should hire a spy.
H
That would be kind of.
C
Yeah, but that's like a. That's a. That's like a regular, like, hotel with, like, regular people. Right.
A
That's like a family resort or something, I think. Yeah.
C
I was joking.
A
Oh, yeah, I know.
C
I'm just gonna joke my way out of this. I think that's.
E
That.
C
That should have been my initial reaction.
H
And.
C
Yeah.
D
Tough.
C
Awkward. Oh, yeah.
A
It's tough to feel sympathy other for those.
C
No, I know, I know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't. Yeah.
A
Professionally.
C
Yeah.
A
What happens.
C
Yeah.
D
I think she's. And he's not.
A
Unless it becomes a distraction for the team.
C
Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what the next. I don't know what happens.
A
I mean, what would the. What would like a Boston team do if they found out their head coach was cheating?
D
Great. Great question.
H
It's deflating their balls.
C
Yeah. So. Yeah, that's happening.
B
So a big domino in this. Or like what comes is the AJ Brown trade is big because she's pretty in front of that.
C
Yeah.
B
He was A.J. brown's former coach in Tennessee. They are. Or the Patriots are supposed to be getting A.J. brown post June 1, I believe. Like it's been loosely agreed upon per Diana.
C
That was my. My favorite rumor that potentially fall through. Well, my favorite rumor that came. Came out of this is that the Eagles were upset that AJ Brown was getting his like trade value deflated by reporting. And so they sent Big Dom and Big Dom was one.
D
I took the pictures.
C
Now that would be like EMT bingo. I don't know what. We'd have to do a documentary on that.
A
Yeah. But that would have to almost be like your last episode ever.
C
Yeah. Oh, 30 on that would be.
H
Could the Eagles have. Could suck?
C
I don't know. I don't know.
H
That crazy.
D
Is anyone else reporting that A.J. brown's going to the Patriots just Racini.
C
I don't know, Jay, because
D
is anyone else reporting that A.J. brown's going to the Patriots or is it just for Cini that's.
B
She was what she's always been way out in front of most Eagles news and AJ Brown for sure.
D
So I'm saying, like, is this even a real story or is it just something that like, I. I mean she's her.
B
Her sources and stuff. Her reporting is always very good. So I. When that comes out, I would put pretty good faith behind it.
C
Che, what was your. What was your tweet gonna say?
B
So I didn't know. I didn't know the details that it was in Sedona. I did think it was at the coaches meeting, which I don't think would be weird. Hypothetically, if this took place in wherever the coaches meeting was and it's at the team hotel, people in the media know that they are friends.
C
Yeah.
B
So I don't think that is that weird. The hand holding one I think is the only one that could be like
C
again, about the location. I lock fingers with everyone.
B
The zoomed out photo of them on the pro private roof makes it look way, way worse. I did not have those Details at the time of say, like, do we like. I feel like people's lives are being ruined. We don't know all the facts. But at the time, I guess I did not know all the facts.
J
Yeah.
C
Bad.
D
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
I mean it's a beautiful shot.
J
Unbelievable.
C
Look at that.
E
Wait, you know who else reported A.J. brown's to the Patriots?
G
Who?
C
Foley. Oh,
D
off of barstool.
C
Boston Foley. No, that was to the P. Pats.
A
Oh, yeah, he spelled it wrong.
C
Did he.
J
Did he spell it wrong?
C
Yeah, I think he did it as a joke on April Fools. But yeah.
J
So yeah, I mean that's the industry standard.
D
My anti scoop stakes just.
C
Yeah, it's looking good.
D
Continued. I'm just running up the scoreboard at this point.
J
Oh yeah. Imagine if Shefter had a. Oh, I
A
imagine in a world you're having a.
D
He's probably poking Chef probably imagines that fairly often.
H
Has he.
A
Has he googled surgeries once.
D
Definitely thought about it a lot.
A
He'd be the most powerful man in the world.
C
What if he had a perfect oh
A
my God chapter with a tight shaped.
C
You know.
J
You know he's trying flicking his dick around. You know, he's God damn poking it with a.
C
You know he's tried say he's saying a prayer before he goes to bed at night. He's waking up like, oh,
D
I would do anything.
E
Was he near me if I had a.
D
He would be the most powerful. He would.
A
He would have every bit of info ever. Every coach would be drained.
J
He's gotta write a memoir. If I had a.
D
That has to haunt him.
J
Yeah.
C
Like ojs.
D
Yes. He wakes up every morning and just like sprints to the mirror and it's
C
like he lifts the covers and it's the biggest side. Oh, another day pussyless. Oh, what wouldn't he know, Man?
D
Fun stuff.
J
Industry.
C
Yeah. The industry.
D
The industry, man.
C
The industry is crazy.
D
It is so crazy.
C
It's crazy, man. It's crazy out there. Crazy.
D
I am curious where she goes from here.
C
Yeah. I don't know.
D
I don't know what the play is.
C
I don't know.
H
Hiatus memoir.
J
Yeah.
C
Oh, yeah.
F
Podcast.
L
Podcast.
H
Yeah.
F
Call her daddy.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dana B.
D
What's up, Dana?
M
Come by me.
J
You want.
A
What a boy.
C
Yeah. I don't know what the next move is. I think maybe it's just like flood. Flood the zone. Interlock as many people as you can.
H
Yeah, yeah.
D
Every people do every person you greet.
C
Yeah. It's just gotta interlock. You gotta forget interlocker.
A
Yeah.
J
The Masters are coming up, but people do forget fast. The wrestler Kyle Snyder, like, now he's just, like, competing and.
C
Yeah, I've completely forgotten.
J
Do you even know what happened?
C
Yeah, I forgot it.
J
Right.
D
I remember when we were talking about
A
that, though, and everybody was.
C
Yeah, just remind me, though, because I forgot it.
J
He solicited a prostitution.
C
Oh.
A
He's a real big God guy, though, too.
E
Is he?
D
Big God guy?
J
Yeah, man of God. Married, kids.
C
Oh.
J
But then he's. He's been competing on the world circuit and doing interviews and.
A
Okay, so I guess they'll be.
J
No one talks about it. Yeah, they'll be fine.
C
Yeah.
L
Yeah.
C
Hey, Dana.
A
Dana.
G
What's up, guys? We talking about Rabes?
C
Yeah, yeah, my guy. Whatever.
A
You drove him a beer once, man.
G
I invited me to. Yeah.
D
Did you lock up?
G
Did you dapped?
C
Yeah. You lost. You said you lost.
A
You dap.
G
I don't recall, but I think we. It's just probably a normal dap.
C
You said you locked.
G
We could have locked.
C
Yeah, you definitely locked.
G
There's no way to tell unless there's footage somewhere.
C
Yeah, I remember you telling me that you. Yeah, we probably locked dude's lock. That's what we do.
G
I support coach no matter what.
C
We lock up, whatever he's doing.
D
Yeah, really?
C
Whatever. That's not true.
G
I support him.
C
I feel like there was a Penn State staffer who said that about 30 years ago that was. Didn't go well.
D
Oh, no.
C
Yeah, behind. Their fingers are locked behind there.
H
They're pinkies, I think. Yeah, pinky fingers, actually.
C
Dana's got his hand down his pants.
G
Wrinkliest shirt of all time.
C
You look good in that guy.
G
I used to be.
C
Hot damn. In the hair.
G
That was a customized can, remember?
C
Oh, yeah, you saved all those.
G
I gave one to him.
A
Wait, what were you doing down in Nashville?
G
I gave one to him. My mom and Dave.
E
You may need about another visit.
G
Yeah, I think Dave has it hanging up somewhere.
A
He has a can hanging up.
G
He's got it right, I bet.
A
Probably his house.
D
Those are cool.
G
Mm.
A
Is that the tattoo on your butt on the can?
C
Sure is nice. Dana, you didn't make the mini golf.
G
Yeah, I don't really.
A
I was floored by.
G
I don't understand it because I'm one of the few people there that actually, like, plays a decent amount of golf, and it wasn't the goal to get the best team. Yeah, I was the second person voted out.
J
Yeah, that was wild.
C
Yeah, that is wild.
D
But why were you voted out?
G
I don't know. They just. No one gave a reason.
A
Yeah, people just went and wrote his name. You didn't fuck up at all, did you?
G
I mean, I had one bet, I took one putt, and it wasn't great, but it's.
N
Whatever.
G
That's. It is what it is.
J
So we don't have you.
C
We don't have Big T. Big T got out. Yeah, I don't.
G
Yeah, I don't really understand here.
C
I'll get Hank in here. Let me do the roeback read. We use it. Will someone grab Hank, Steven, or text them? Roback Activewear. Best fit, best feel. Spring is here, which means Roback's azalea collection is back. Your favorite azalea design in several colors, new designs, and new products. Secondly, Roback has launched two new products that you all should know about. First, their tailwind sports shirt. Might be the most comfortable. Nice shirt out there. It's made for date night. The perfect combo of looking casual but nice and still be comfortable. They also released a sweater polo that we are here for. Great stretch fabric, making it very comfortable and breathable. Use the code yak for 20% off your first purchase. That's 20 off all polos, hoodies, sports shirts, and more. Just use code YAK and head over to r h O-B-K.com. hank, any comment about what we were talking about to start the show?
L
I wasn't watching. I was working. What'd you guys say?
C
We were trying to imagine if Chef had a.
A
Imagine unstoppable, but, like, a perfect hang.
C
Yeah, like the best pussy.
L
There's still time, right?
D
Yeah, like a really good.
C
The greatest one. You've never seen a pussy like his.
L
I feel like he's done pretty good without it.
D
That's the point, right?
C
Yeah.
D
We're saying imagine if he had it. Yeah, he did. He did. He's done everything he's done with zero. Imagine if he just had one. Imagine if he had two.
A
Oh, imagine double.
C
All right, so, Hank, are you ready?
L
Yeah.
C
Okay.
A
You need a distraction?
K
Yeah.
L
It's been a long day.
C
Yeah, long day. It's 12:15. I know.
L
One of those days.
C
You know those days. Okay. Do we have the teams? Do we have the. The graphic tj Possibly. Maybe.
H
All I know is that food smells so good.
C
Yeah.
A
Only for the young team.
H
I thought it was for us. I went. I really went running in there. And Chef Donnie was like, it's only for the young team.
L
So we open it up.
C
So we're teams.
L
Young teams fed.
C
Yeah. So we're drafting.
L
So we're drafting Nick the production team as well?
C
Yeah.
A
Oh, hell yeah.
C
Beautiful. And me, we're drafting round. So round one is going to start right after the act. Round two will be right after that. So it's back to back. The format is going to be alternate shot 2v2 and it's Ryder cup style. So there'll be five matches in the first round, five matches in the second round. And then tomorrow night we will play singles and it will be 12v12. So everyone will be in on that one. And it's forty thousand dollar prize. Any other rules or anything?
L
Sell blue hole in one. If someone gets a whole one, you're venmoing them.
C
I'm. I. No. So every $5,000 we sell, I will give away 300 in the chat, 100 each to three people. And then if someone hits the hole in one, I'm gonna give them 200.
L
So that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, for the. For the players.
C
Yeah, yeah, for the players on the course.
L
Go for it.
C
Okay. Do we have the graphic? We might not.
F
Jake Bass, gonna text you the list. There's no graphic.
K
Okay.
C
There's no. There's no graphic. All right, well, we'll make a graphic of the.
F
Of the correct as it goes. We'll make a graphic.
C
All right, so here are the teams. My team is pft, Che, Titus, Kate, Chaps, T. Bob Deutsch, Chief, Dante, and Tate. So Tate is the only one who's under 35. How old?
D
Don't love that.
C
Well, how old is Tate?
J
He's 33.
A
33.
D
Oh, really?
J
32.
L
And then teacher Tate is my favorite.
A
He broke out that voice so much yesterday.
C
Nikki spoke.
L
I can't get enough of it. And I feel where he's coming from. But it's very funny when he's like. He literally turns into a teacher of like sixth graders.
E
Yeah.
A
Everybody quiet. Nick, listen.
C
All right, and then your team, Hank, is you, Chef Donnie, Ebo, Max, Jerry, kb, Megan making money. Eddie. And then Spider Blutman and Lucas.
L
Mints and Mints.
C
Yes. And Mincy, who he is. So we each have a age inappropriate person. Yep.
A
Yeah.
L
Mincy, last night, I don't know if it was his. His mic was up the whole time, but he drafted his team and then mentioned how he drafted a great team no less than 700 times.
A
Yeah.
E
The whole time.
A
I don't think he said he did
J
re researched every player. He said he watched film on every player to pick the perfect team.
G
Is there, is there any world where Lucas being the only Producer is unfair to all the other producers.
L
Yes.
G
And he should be replaced with a content person that got.
C
I don't hate that.
L
I. Listen, I, I, They. They were given free reign to do whatever they wanted for the Survivor stream. And it is Survivor, which is built on twists, deceit, lies, and getting people upset. They did a good job, but it was. It was literally diabolical. So Lucas throwing his name in there
C
so he shouldn't be eligible because he's a producer.
L
I mean, it's.
C
It's.
L
I understand that sentiment, but as a producer who just wants to golf, I also understand where Lucas is coming from.
G
I strictly said it because I want to replace him.
L
But.
C
Yeah. So why don't we also Rick it.
L
Rick and Rick and the basketball is another.
G
Hank is a gray area.
M
Me.
G
And I would say we're gray. I mean, I'm content now.
C
You're content. Hank's content.
G
Yeah.
C
So I would be fine with that. If you want to do that. Should we leave it up to the chat? Chat gets a vote.
L
I'm fine with that.
F
I mean, it is.
L
Yeah.
C
Lucas, come down here. You.
G
Lucas.
D
Yeah.
A
What a twist.
C
Lucas, come down here.
G
Sometimes you just have to ask for things.
C
Yeah.
A
I never even think to do that.
G
Yeah.
C
I'm open. I want to hear Lucas's.
L
How does Danny feel about it?
E
I never had a shot. I was first out.
J
Nitpick, but I don't like Tate being on the. The whole thing is like young versus old.
C
He's pretty old. He's 33.
J
But. But it's the separation.
C
But we had to.
J
Then if that's the case, then the teams are.
D
Is there anybody older than Tate that's on the young team?
A
Mints.
C
Eddie and Eddie. How old is Eddie?
A
35.
E
35.
A
He's the cut off.
L
You thought he was younger than 35 when you made the list.
C
Got it.
L
And then last night, t was like, it's anyone. That's Eddie.
G
How old are he?
I
Like 35.
L
He's like anyone younger than 35 was like, oh, oops.
C
But Tate is. Tate is spiritually old. I think it's fine.
J
Fine. Yeah, it's. Come on. It's. But yeah, the team's.
C
You have miny. We have.
J
The age factor isn't, like, the selling point.
C
Yeah. I mean, we're for the majority of the team. It's old version. All right, so Lucas will come down here and pitch his case, and then we'll leave it up to a chat vote. I'm fine with that. Hank, if the chat wants to vote Dana in and Lucas out or Danny.
L
I was. I was fine with the. With the twist and the. The. It was again, like a crazy move, but, like, it's Survivor.
A
He better not hit us with a sob story like, oh, I need the money. No, that's not gonna.
C
I'm not gonna fly that.
L
If my team wins. I kind of want to just play someone on my team straight up.
C
For all of it.
L
Share my share.
J
Oh, should Nick get a cut?
A
Yeah.
C
What are we doing?
J
He's always commentating. He doesn't have an opportunity.
D
True.
J
In it for himself, but then he
L
also doesn't have mostwhere ones he doesn't want to do.
C
Yeah. He doesn't have to play basketball.
A
Yeah.
C
And then play flag football. Soccer.
G
No. That's what you get.
C
Sit down.
G
For putting us through the ringer.
C
Sit down.
G
You're pretty. All the producers upstairs, I'm sure, would like to be in the tournament.
N
They should have a show that determines who gets in the tournament then.
C
All right, I'll give you guys two options. One is chat vote. The other, integrity. The other is Wheel.
N
Came in the mail today. That's crazy. I got in fair and square. He got out fair.
C
Well, you. But. But you understand. You aren't content. Yes. And so every other producer who's working hard on behind the scenes mini golf is like, this is. Lucas is.
N
I don't care. They.
G
What? The tech team that was working on the show.
L
We're supposed to be producing the mini golf.
N
I was supposed to do scorekeeping, which a squirrel could do.
A
You're like, belittling your job. Yes.
G
Well, the hard working camera guys last
A
night, the lady holding a boom mic, the whole.
N
They would do the same thing if they were in this position. I wouldn't be like, oh, they shouldn't get to do it. Like you said, white boy Rick in the basketball thing, but he's kind of.
C
He's. He's does mostly hoops.
J
Yeah, that's.
N
That's not any more content than I am.
C
All right, so you don't want to do Wheel.
N
I think it's crazy that we went through all that last night and it like. Yeah, it's fucked up. But like, we. We played and we won three holes to get in. Dana got voted out. Maybe try a little harder.
G
No, I got. I fairly got voted out. I'm just crazy. Like, there's just a lot of producers up there.
N
It's crazy to go back on it and be like, well, what did you. You're not fighting for the Prod producers. You're fighting for yourself.
G
You're using them. No, this is for. This is for them. This is for Luke.
K
For them.
G
It's for hard working Luki Blutman out there that's standing up in it with the. The camera all night.
N
Ask Luke Bloodman. He's happy on it.
A
Luke Blutman's happy that you snaked his brother.
N
He might be more happy that I'm
C
saying let's get all the producers to come by and decide whether it's yes. Fighting for every producer gets a vote.
G
I was a producer for seven years. I understand the struggle.
N
I also, like, I'm not trying to
C
see every producer gets a vote.
G
I'm just looking up.
C
Round up all the producers and camera people.
B
I think they might be doing meetings right now to perfect.
C
Okay, go to the vote. Go, go. You know what? Take a blind vote.
B
Blind vote?
C
Yeah. Go for the options. It's Lucas is in or Dana's in.
E
Okay.
C
Blind vote the producers and.
K
And, and.
C
And camera.
N
You're a scumbag and I'm a scumbag.
G
Yeah, you are.
C
They have no problem with it. Lucas will stay in. Yeah, I wish I was in it. Go, go find them all. Blind vote so they don't have to say it out loud.
H
Stefan just went.
F
Lucas.
A
Yeah, he's stressed and busy with a
F
twist at the end of your four hour stream.
C
This is just the yak and I'm gonna respect whatever the producers and that's fine. Ask the question correctly.
G
We're in a twist off.
L
Why can't the meeting just come here?
C
Yeah, we could chase knocking. I also don't trust no one's in a meeting. Oh, no one's gonna.
F
I don't know why he said.
C
All right, wait, hold on. Jake Bass, can you get all everyone who's working behind the scenes to the court? They. Yeah, we'll have them come to the court and they'll vote. They'll do a blind vote, have them come to the court.
J
You're worried about this? Is your team, like not sticking up for you?
A
Yes.
B
Why?
L
I thought you do the same for them.
N
I would, but, like, it will be not. I'm not worried. If they don't pick me, it will feel so. It'll probably be the most embarrassing I've ever felt in this since working here. If all my peers line up and they're like, yeah, we don't want you in.
C
Oh, now I'm rooting. Yeah, hard suck. The other thing, I have to sit
N
here and listen to it.
L
About the the twist and tape pointed out. It's very fair and accurate. Is that Spider and Blutman barely beat Montoya and Smokes. If Montoya and Smokes had gone snake like that, everyone would have been like, that was hilarious.
C
Yeah.
L
It was more. It was the two people that got that it happened to. But that's just. You can't plan for that.
C
Yeah.
L
So that was just unlucky. But it was.
C
It was a. I would have. I would have. I would have done it for Montoya and Nick Smokes. The fact that they golf for five hours last night and then got that twist at the end, that four hours.
L
But there were. I mean, Danny, Dana.
C
Yeah. Rudy.
L
There's a lot of people that got just.
C
All right, Ella. Zah. Oh, I think we're gonna have to recuse a couple of these people.
N
That's not fair.
G
Yeah.
A
And also I want to see where
C
some people stand all quick. And then I'm going to go up and explain.
G
Are these the guys that built the set?
C
Yes.
G
Oh, hell yeah.
C
All right. Chevy draft season is here, which means everyone suddenly thinks they're a gm. This is great. I love this. Which is when you realize some picks just make sense. Like having a Chevy Silverado. Silverado has the power to haul pretty much everything. Gear, grills, tailgate setups. So whether you're driving to a draft party, a road game, or towing a boat to the lake, you need a truck with strength, reliability, and the drive to go to the distance. The same DNA you'll find in a Chevy Silverado. As capable and dependable as your top tier draft pick. Silverado shows up and gets the job done. It won't flinch when the pressure's on and doesn't take plays off when it comes to trucks. Make Chevy Silverado your number one overall pick. Check out the current offer and build your own Chevy Silverado. Chevy.com. all right, I'm going to go explain to them. We're going to do. We're going to do a Survivor style. We'll do like, write it on a piece of paper and then read the votes.
N
That's fine. That's fine. I think I have the paper upstairs, too. This is like a humiliation ritual.
A
That's what you have everybody, every Tuesday.
N
Yeah, but this is worse.
L
You know what? My lowest point I've ever felt that this company was when we had 15 players on the basketball court and lost to a team of three. I've never felt in my life. And that was on your show.
N
That's fun.
G
I got in several fights with My co workers.
L
As a man, it was like. It truly was. Like I couldn't live with myself. I've never wanted to leave this office in more shame in my life. I was like, I can't.
D
That was very embarrassing.
A
So you just think it's embarrassing having your peers vote?
N
Yes.
A
That was five hours.
N
This is real. That's fake.
A
And also, you know these guys. You interact with them every day. Why are you so nervous? Do you think they secretly don't like you?
N
No, it would just suck if I. Guys, I think they do like me, but it would suck.
H
What's Pete drinking?
C
Content.
A
I think it's bust.
C
Oh,
G
It doesn't have to be me. It doesn't have to be me.
C
Anyways, we just don't want him to get the money.
A
If he has to spend it on
C
us, we're fine with that. What the. They really hate you. Yeah, it's crazy. What do you mean?
G
I want me to get the money.
C
I think it's easier.
G
Just have Dana play Big Cat. Doesn't have to be me. It could be anyone.
C
Him playing would be funny. Okay, it could be anybody. Well, maybe we'll. We'll open up your spot.
G
We'll do it on a wheel.
M
So.
A
Wait, what would you.
H
Yeah, wheel's good.
J
All right.
C
Thank you.
J
I don't know.
N
I think.
M
All right.
N
Yeah.
J
What was that they just said?
C
If Lucas said. Is it that Lucas is playing? If you. If you think it's. Raise your hand. Every single person, Luke.
A
Every single person. Every single person.
C
No, these guys.
N
That's. I'm not arguing. It's not. It is, but it's our. And we planned it, and everyone was cool with it.
C
Well, this is like we're scumbags. I planned it.
N
You didn't plan this. You thought of it.
C
30 seconds, fair and square.
N
Exactly.
C
Shout out all of our producers behind the scenes. They're awesome. They make this thing go. And it's not easy, this whole mini golf thing. All right, so. So do we now, Hank? Should we go wheel for everyone? Give a redemption wheel.
G
That's cool. Yeah. No, I wasn't doing this for myself.
N
I was doing it for.
G
I was doing this for the hardware.
N
None of them are gonna be on the wheel.
C
It was just for you to get in that.
G
They don't have a great guy.
J
So what's. Where's Lucas at right now?
C
He's out.
J
Oh, you're out. So you failed and you're not a victim because no one has your back.
D
What about a small sliver for Lucas? On the wheel.
C
Lucas, I have.
D
Lucas.
C
Lucas, I have Cubs tickets for you this weekend. Where'd he go?
L
Have stopped.
C
He has.
J
You can't even complain to him.
C
Wait, Lucas. Lucas, come back.
D
Lucas.
H
Put a. Lucas.
C
Lucas.
H
Lucas. Short sized sliver.
C
Come back. Lucas.
H
Really small.
C
There was one thing that the producers did say. They're like, we just don't want him to get the money. So if he's willing to give up the money, then he's not.
L
I don't want that.
A
What's it. What's Lucas's share?
F
What if he plays for the rest of the producer?
C
He's gonna.
A
What if he splits his share with all the producers?
L
He should play on your team then.
F
100 bucks a person.
A
100 bucks a person.
C
I don't like the guy.
L
I will. I will give my share to the producers.
C
If I win, I will as well.
J
So their gripe is that he. They'd be bitter if he won the money.
C
Yeah. I mean, his job is to produce and be a cameraman and do all that stuff, and they all would love to play and they don't have the opportunity to play.
L
Yeah, there's like probably 10 or so of them that they're coming into work today to work the mini golf event.
C
Right.
J
So, yeah, he was one of them. He has no support.
L
And then he went from that to playing in it. And the people that are working are probably like, well, by the way, I
C
have tickets for you on Saturday.
N
Thank you.
C
You're welcome.
N
Thank you.
A
Can I have them?
C
Yeah, you can have Sunday. You want Sunday?
A
No, no, it's fine.
C
No, no, I have.
A
I have tickets for Saturday. That's all I need.
C
You can have Sunday.
A
No, no, no, no.
C
Or you can have Sunday. You can have Saturday.
A
I already have Saturday. I was just gonna.
N
I can take Sunday if you want to take Saturday.
A
No, no, I already have tickets for Saturday. I was just around.
C
Do you want both days, Lucas?
A
No, I talked to him. He wants Friday. Saturday, Sunday.
C
Lucas. The other thing they said that was like, if you played but you gave up all the money.
N
Everyone got like $20 that they said that, though.
C
They're like, we just don't want that. It's just that he.
N
I don't want to play. I want the money.
C
Okay, so then. Yeah, then you're out. Because that was the big thing. Yeah, they all were like, it's. He has a chance to win the money.
N
I want to play for the chance to the money.
C
Yeah, right.
N
Crazy. Be like getting.
C
But so does everyone else.
N
Great. They should Have a show that decides who plays in the.
A
Here, sit back down. Like.
N
Like, I get it. Like, yeah, I. I think all the produce. I think having producers play for money is great content because they're the people who need it and want it the most. Because. But like. And I get it does make sense because, like, they're not the content people.
C
But, like, okay, they sounds like you get it. Sounds like.
D
All right, well said. That was really well said.
N
I had the opportunity. Well, no, it wasn't even my idea. It was Tate's idea. He'll tell you that. Because I was against it, because I didn't want all the producers to be like, oh, he's inserting himself in. He's trying to be cons or whatever. That's not what I wanted.
C
Yeah, that's what you did.
N
Now I'm in it. And now, yes, I would like a chance to win.
A
Would you like to get Tate down here to defend you?
N
I think Tate would agree, and I think he would defend me. That it was his idea.
C
But that doesn't mean that just because his idea doesn't.
N
That's fine, but I.
C
Why is he getting railroad?
I
Because there's a couple things.
C
First of all, get up, Lucas, that's your shirt. That's your shirt.
J
That's not even your shirt.
C
Oh, he dressed for the golf. Look at him. This guy. Oh, man.
L
We're supposed to be in green, though.
G
Now I feel kind of bad. I need it.
C
Why?
G
I shouldn't, but you should.
I
No, listen, totally fair.
G
I've been in the trenches. Tate, I get where he's coming from. Yeah, I was doing a half joking. I didn't. But now look, I don't know.
I
Our thing was this very cool to. To plan the whole thing. We thought we did a good job, good stream. We're thinking there. It's like, all right, well, we have no chance of playing in it. How can we get ourselves a chance? It's one thing if we just ripped it from everyone but you.
C
Getting a chance would make sense.
I
Fine.
C
Is your content.
I
If I was to debate that, I would say this one. When we made the list, we included some producers. There are some producers that played last night that got booted as well. Some people that when they lost, they had to turn around and do social. Is.
J
Is.
I
Does Mikey Betts, Is he full time?
C
He's partial content.
I
I would argue Lucas's point that the After Dark show. He is just as much of a character on After Dark. He's not a. Behind the scenes. I sit there and do nothing guy.
C
So when he said. He said a job could be done by a squirrel.
N
Last night, the mini golf game where
C
I'm doing the scorecard.
I
Okay, so like, when we do things like. Like Rick.
C
I love Rick.
I
Rick just won $20,000 playing basketball.
C
But.
I
But Lucas, who had a good idea, executed it well. And then. And then beat Blutman, who.
A
So wait, that was Lucas's idea?
I
That was my idea.
M
Okay.
A
Okay.
I
I want. Well, I wanted to flip a double sided coin and just be in no matter what.
L
Okay.
I
That was my idea. We beat Blutman. Who again, if we're talking job titles, is Blutman a content guy?
C
Is.
J
You see what.
C
He's both.
I
Yeah.
L
And so.
C
But I would.
I
I would say if I was having his back. So is he.
C
What does he do? Squirrel content. He does a show every week where he's joking his own argument against him. Now we're in a quandary.
J
He's making a good boy. I mean, I get it.
A
So you just think those producers need to be working on a show where they have the opportunity to do that?
D
Should we?
N
The opportunity I was given.
C
Right.
A
So what.
C
I think it's just.
A
What happens if all those producers just decide to cancel everything, go on their own, go back?
I
If you guys wanted us to play 18 in the top 10, make it, then we would have done that. But you said after dark. Come up with an idea. We came up with an idea. It worked pretty well. And then we won the last round. I hate to have Lucas's back like this, but to just yank him off the challenge, it is.
D
It's an awesome.
C
All right, here's what we're. Here's what we're gonna do.
D
Playing it.
C
Here's what we're gonna.
D
It's an awesome idea.
C
Dana and Luke are gonna play 18 right now.
I
I like that.
F
Okay.
C
Okay.
J
Perfect.
C
Winner gets in and gets chance for the money.
G
Bald online.
C
That's fair.
G
It also. It doesn't have to be me.
C
Why anyone that was limited. Lucas, you did this entire.
D
Why don't you do. Well, I. I actually agree. I'll do it because now. Hold on.
C
Time out.
D
Let me speak on behalf. And I'm a data guy, but I'll speak on behalf of everyone else that played last night that got eliminated. Why does Dana get to be the one?
C
All right, that's fair.
J
Why not?
D
Why not everybody?
C
Here's what we're gonna do. Anyone who was playing in last night, who wants to be the last spot on. Well, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna play Survivor hole so that we played this before. Hank. Everyone shoots, and whoever has. So, like, if. Well, how do we do it? The lowest score keeps going.
D
Yeah, right. There's cut.
L
There's six people to start, and five of them make a two. They go on. The person doesn't moves on. If the next hole. There's five people left. One person makes a hole in one, and the other people don't. That person wins.
C
Wins.
K
All right, perfect.
L
So there's no denies.
A
Are you prepped to play golf right now?
I
He stinks.
A
The one thing about.
C
Oh, wait. Now I want him back in.
N
I'm not terrible.
C
Okay, wait.
A
You're making the other team better.
C
I know. This sucks. I. I really. Hey, look, that's the fairness of it, all right? So whoever was in last night, who wants another redemption chance can come down, and we will do Survivor Hole.
A
But why can't producers challenge Lucas for the spot?
I
Good point.
C
Maybe it should be all producers first.
G
Yes.
A
Yes.
K
Yeah.
D
Yes.
K
Yes.
D
Yeah, that's fair.
A
That's fair.
D
How is that not fair? Chance.
C
That's so fair. Does there's anyone who's, like, close by who wants to just stop by and have a chance?
G
Jacob,
A
your defense is that you have a show where you're able to do those kind of things.
C
Yes, that we do.
A
Unlike this.
C
No.
I
Which I'm fine with. Then there better be the same outrage. I hope you all get DMS all night. That's like scumbag, scumbag, scumbag.
C
You.
I
Yeah, that's the point. We were in charge of the show. That's why we planned it that way.
C
Right. But no, but he's got a chance now. He has bad. Did you watch last night? Exactly.
H
Oh, Zach wants to do it.
C
Great.
N
I'm not doing this.
C
Why give it to someone else? Cuz, like, it's. It's just go win it.
N
I'm not gonna win it, and that's not the point.
L
As your team captain, you can't have that attitude.
H
He's.
D
Just go win it. You're the only one dressed for this. Lucas, just go.
N
Because I thought I was on the team.
D
But that's gonna give you an advantage that they're not dressed to golf.
C
Give me an advantage? Wearing a polo?
L
Also, as your team cat, we're supposed to wear green.
N
You said white.
C
Or green. Also, white people got screwed over last night.
I
Are still in. Now we're just screwing over Luke. I'm out on defending him, but he's getting screwed over here.
C
TJ What Is the chat saying? Do they. They have an idea.
F
Honestly, it's a lot of El Dana.
C
Really? Oh, no. The backfire. Oh, no.
A
Lucas is all. El Dana's in chat.
N
Oh, he's a scumbag.
C
He knows he is.
I
Eddie, just tweet. I hate to Lucas.
C
You.
G
You put us through hell every week. We can with you once. We could with you one time.
N
Dude, I get with once.
D
All right?
C
I'm making a final judgment. Enough of this. Lucas, you're in, but you have to split all the money with the producers. What?
L
He's gonna try and lose? Yeah.
C
Over Hank, his friends. He gets a. His friends all just. His friends all just said.
N
We all just said I shouldn't get the money. Yeah, why should.
A
That's a fair point.
L
This friends all just was like, Lucas,
N
let him have it.
G
Let him stay. Just let him stay. Let him stay. I was just trying to create a little drama. Boy, am I allowed to start a little drama.
C
It's drama. No, this drama. This is supposed to let him stay.
G
Let him stay. I hope he gets crushed. How about that? Let him stay.
A
Lucas, what about this? Is there anything you could put on the line if your team loses tonight?
G
Oh, I like that.
I
A punishment.
A
Yeah.
C
Oh, all right. If you. All right, here. Here's here.
D
All right.
C
I like this punishment. If you win, you get to keep the money. If your team loses, you have to do an after dark punishment.
G
Rolls reversed.
C
I like another rules. And every producer can come up with an idea on your birthday. On your birthday. Yeah. Every producer can do anything they want to.
G
You sure?
C
Okay.
A
Is there anything he can wear to the Cubs game this weekend?
G
A napkin.
A
Just. You're the napkin at the gasket.
C
A napkin. A napkin. Just the napkin.
A
You can only wear one napkin.
C
You get that napkin, you could cover
D
any part of your body you want.
C
Napkin. That's it.
J
Good garment.
D
Pull.
A
Just wear a napkin to the Cubs game.
D
Stuff that he could wear.
G
How about a napkin?
C
Oh, man. Okay.
G
I did not. I did not expect people to be against me on this.
C
Wow, that's a stream last year where
I
Katic almost killed you. Yeah, I can't wait for that.
C
Oh, yeah. I. I'll. I'll say right now.
D
Look at this.
C
Okay.
B
Wow.
C
All right. So that's good. All right. Sorry. This decided. I think that's all fair all around. You get to keep the money if you win. If you lose, roll reverse stream.
I
No, that's good content.
C
This is good content. And it also. It also settles the. The Hank. Like, Hank is worried about where your head's at. He's gonna try his hardest now.
N
I was always gonna try my hardest. I'll say that.
C
Okay.
N
I do it for 100 bucks.
C
No.
D
What?
C
Why'd you say okay?
D
So his share is 100.
C
Yeah. I will in. And what I will do is if my team wins, I will give my share to the producers.
D
Wow.
G
Wow.
L
I said that first, but.
C
Yeah, but I'm gonna say it first now. Yeah, officially.
G
See, Lucas, look at what came of this. Look at what came of this is great.
N
Everyone hates it.
C
No, you knew everyone hated you. What are you talking about?
N
Didn't know. Didn't know like that. Didn't know like that.
K
And I'm.
N
I'm gonna make sure you don't win. So they don't get even $10?
C
Well, no, because if Hank wins, he's giving it to the producers.
N
I'll make sure it's a tie.
C
All right, so then they get all the money. If there's a tie, the producers get everything. Yeah. What a company. It's great.
G
It just.
C
It just turned off more content. Now we have the potential of another roles reverse stream. All right.
I
All right, thanks, guys. Yeah, see you.
M
All right.
A
Dana, what was happening to you, man?
G
I don't know. I just got my brain.
I
My.
G
My content brand was going a little bit.
C
No, that was. Oh, no, no, you. That was a funny.
A
Why are people mad at you?
G
I don't know. Who cares?
I
I don't give a.
C
No, here's what I'll say. And defend defensive of the fans. The reason why these streams work is because they get invested in it. So, like, they're the fans. Having the chat. Having a strong opinion is a good thing.
A
Also, imagine watching something you have nobody to root against right now.
C
We can. Now everyone can root. Now Lucas has a storyline. Otherwise now he has a content storyline.
A
There we go.
C
Because I think people do want to see Katic just fucking crush him again.
N
Which.
C
That will be my roles reversed idea. Idea.
F
There's also a lot of people voicing support for. For Danny in chat. Oh, Lucas was just getting like a spot and.
A
And.
F
And give it to himself. Then Danny should have a spot back.
C
Oh, what?
L
I mean, yeah, that was. That was the most. Probably the most up part was the very beginning.
C
What, Danny just not getting picked?
L
No, he got picked. He got chosen on a team.
A
He was wearing a jersey.
L
And then Dante had the choice to eliminate either, I think, Hannah or Anaka. And he said, I'm taking both of them and eliminating.
C
And he's your Guy.
E
It's gonna be a long week in Vegas.
A
You've done so much for him.
E
Not the way he sees it.
C
He's your guy.
B
Was.
H
You did his socials for all of
E
Lent and then some. I was this guy's secretary, basically.
A
I tried to do my one year anniversary bit with Dante yesterday. He's like, you've been here longer than that. And I was like, yeah, it's two years. He's like, that's what I thought.
C
All right, we got that settled.
J
It doesn't sound like it.
C
No, it is.
J
I think there's endless permutations of ways we can rearrange the teams at this point, if I'm being honest, and I'm. I'm not really committed to this argument, but I don't want Tate on your team.
C
I know. Why do you keep saying that? What do you want to do?
J
I think he's good.
A
Okay, then you guys should get mints.
L
True.
A
Yeah.
J
Why do we have mints the easiest
C
on the young Mints for tape, and then I'm eliminating mints from the whole thing. I'm not dealing with him on my team.
D
How did mince get on a team place?
L
He just decided basically during, like, he and you, the captain during the Survivor thing. And then Tate was like, vote off mince or Dante, and they voted off Dante. And then he's like, all right, you're the captain of. Of the young team. And then Mintz did his thing where he just said to everyone, like, oh, we got this. We're gonna win $40,000. Like, I got a free roll at $40,000. So he thought he was just going to be the captain without doing anything and get a chance to win.
E
We can't let this way he win more money.
L
He at least has to play.
D
So Mintz. Mintz did not earn a spot on the team.
A
He beat Dante in a vote.
D
So he did earn a spot.
L
Yeah,
C
he did his research.
A
So he's coaching, not cap.
D
Yeah.
A
Can I just make him not playing?
C
Can I make a pitch for why t should be on my team? Because I'm thinking content first.
J
Okay. And before we do this, I'm aggressively neutral about this. Okay.
C
I'm just gonna perform my brain. Okay. Now we have Lucas playing for the chance that he has to do a role. Reverse stream. I'll say right now, if Hank agrees to it on the final pairings on Thursday, we will match Tate and Lucas up head to head.
L
That's bad for us, but.
C
Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying, like, we want story Lines. Right. Like, we want. We want, like, Donnie and. And Titus and like, PFT and Hank. They play golf against you. Like, we want the storyline. So these matches have some juice to them. That would have juice to it. Tate versus Lucas.
J
So the ages are pretty arbitrary.
C
Just one. Yeah, okay, fine, fine. We'll. We'll. We'll switch it. What do you want to switch?
J
I don't care.
C
We get.
J
Yeah, I was pretending. Oh, man.
A
Yeah, that was pretty good.
C
I don't know.
J
How do you guys have passion full time?
C
You're such a dick. I don't.
J
I'm. Yeah, I just. I know.
C
It'll be such a boss move to get someone in a moral quandary. Like, I actually don't care.
A
Yeah, do what you want.
C
Here's this to put you in a twister and just be like, I don't care.
L
Let's do the matchups.
C
Do you want. Do you want to do the only other option? I. I will. If you want to switch Tate and Eddie, because Eddie is 35, I'm fine with that.
L
That clears your. That's good for your morals, for your
J
headspace, not a moral thing.
C
Let's see that. Like, Tate being on the opposite side of the. Of the rolls. Reverse stream is good. You know what I mean?
A
Him competing. He has paired with Lucas.
C
Like, it's a winner or loot. Like, either Lucas wins and gets, you know, a share of the money, or Tate wins and Lucas has to do.
I
Me versus Lucas is good. Me versus Spider is good because I just fucked him over. It's all good content.
L
Yeah, but the age.
A
Yeah, that's what it all. It's what the whole thing was billed as.
F
Chad is. Is heavy spamming for Danny to replace Mincy because Mincy just put himself on a team.
D
Okay, I still don't understand.
A
So Mincy's account with that.
D
You keep saying he just.
C
Yeah. Mincy could just be a captain. Danny will play.
M
Okay.
L
All right.
E
And our people are gonna be mad at me.
C
No, no, I don't think people are getting expansion on Mincy's dude defense.
E
But they're gonna say, oh, it should have been. It could be. Anyone who got taken out last night should have the chance.
D
Very true. We're back.
C
Dana, what did you do?
G
They're gonna complain no matter what.
C
It's true.
G
Let them complain, boys.
E
I'll do it fair and square.
J
Hey, what do we got?
H
Cream team.
C
Oh, oh, let's get this. Do we have an ad for this?
H
Hell, yeah.
C
Yes. Oh, yeah.
G
Thank you, sir.
C
Cream team. Segment Food Cream Team sponsored segment. The boy's been crushing it. They're getting sponsors. I love it.
L
SP of all time.
C
This segment is presented by JJ's Bakery Snack Pie, the number one snack pie in America. Over 1 million pies made every day. Individually wrapped fruit pies in 11 everyday flavors plus seasonal limited time flavors. Best selling flavors include cherry, apple, chocolate, Bosson cream and lemon. New for 2026. Strawberry, banana, and key lime pie. Coconut cream is newly refreshed for 2026 and now made. Wait, I want one of those. Zach, is there cherry apple? Okay, that's great. Great homemade taste. Real fruit and every fruit flavor freshly made every day. Great value made right? Filling snacks that fits real routines. Microwave for 15 seconds for a warm pie experience or get creative and add ice cream or pair with coffee. Grab a JJ's Bakery snack pie next time you're at a convenience store, grocery store, or major retailer and see why it's a number one snack pie in America. Great job, boys.
H
This apple pie with the vanilla ice cream is incredible to pie for, but look at it.
A
Kate, who's dressed exactly like me today.
H
Yeah. So this is what it feels like to be funny.
C
That's out of bounds.
A
White socks.
C
That's out of bounds. That's great job. Looks so good. All right, teams are shot. That was easy. Mincy's in because I. It's. If we do Danny, then it's going to be a whole everyone.
E
I would sell my squad popping up. Me and Mincy will just split the winnings.
D
Danny, you should have just put yourself on the team like Mincy did.
E
I was the option. It's a genius of mints.
C
If. If. Well, it was like the vote.
L
After the vote, Tate was like, all right, Mincy's now officially captain of the young team. And.
C
Right.
L
Me and the rest of the young team were kind of just like, can I.
E
Can I pull like what Tate did in basketball? And just like, I'll let Minty play, but he has to give me a percentage if he wins.
C
Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Yeah, I like that.
D
Cool.
B
Wow.
E
It's great.
C
Yeah. Mincy has to split at 50. 50 with you.
A
That was chaotic and a lot. I think we.
C
How do we end up here?
G
Yeah, I'mma.
C
All right, we ready for first round matchups?
J
Yep.
C
Let's do it. So do you want me to go and then you go or what? How do you want to do it?
L
Probably flip a Lucy.
C
Okay, Heads are tail. I'll go first. I'll go first and then you go first. The next time is it.
L
It's 1, 2, 2, 2.
C
Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna send out to start. These are the pairings for the first round. That's gonna start right after the yak. I'm gonna send out to start PFT and Mark Titus strong.
L
All right, so then we'll go Donnie and myself.
C
Love that.
M
All right.
C
Love that.
L
And then our second round, we will send out.
C
That's a great matchup.
L
Megan making money and Liam Blutman.
C
Okay. And I will counter that with Kate and Chaps. They both served. Yeah. Just a heads up.
L
Serving.
F
All right.
C
And then now I have the next
L
pick she said he was asking for with those pants.
A
That was great.
J
Funny.
C
I will send out Chief and White Socks Dave.
L
And we will send out Eddie and Ebo.
C
Love it.
L
Which leaves us with KB&SPIDER.
C
As our fourth round match, KB&SPIDER will be going up against T. Bob and Tate. That's great. Tate versus Spider, people. Looks good. Okay, and then my last pairing will be me and Stephen Shea.
L
And you'll be facing Jerry and Max.
C
Love it.
L
So there. So it's 12 people. Two people sit.
C
Two people sit. And then the next round again. Yeah. So my two sit to start are Dante and Deutsch. They will play in the afternoons.
L
And mine are Lucas and Mitch.
C
These are good matchups.
J
Yeah, they are.
C
Wow.
E
Graphics. That was quick.
C
That was quick.
J
They do that.
C
These are good matchups. We've got some good. We got a lot of backstory lines.
H
I might have to. Nancy Kerrigan, Megan.
C
Yeah, yeah, probably. That's probably the only match that doesn't have, like, real hatred involved.
L
Well, it's.
A
How are you and T. Bob?
L
Moms versus Moms and Ginger.
J
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
E
Chaps and Bloodman hate each other.
C
Yeah, that's true. I'm excited for that. That Eddie Verse, White Sox. Dave in Chief with a side of Ebo. Who'd you sit out?
L
Mintz and Lucas.
I
Okay.
C
Yeah. And I mean, I sat out Dante and Deutsch. Deutsch. I'm worried about Deutsche.
A
I saw you putting with him this morning.
C
I came in and Deutsch has. I think he's practiced the most out of anyone. And he said to me, I'm so bad at this. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, I'm just really, really bad at this.
H
This.
C
And I was like, well, Deutsch, I like, I see you as a guy who can do everything, and he's just like, can't do this, so. And I watched him miss so many putts.
L
Maybe he's got to, you know, take the nerves off.
C
Yeah. Do we have a bunch of putters?
L
Yeah.
C
Okay. All right. So that's happened right after. Yeah. Quick.
D
Yeah.
C
Quick, Quick draft. Are you. Are you. There is a question. Are you still changing the course up? I'm not doing anything, but the course is very, very difficult. Are we.
L
I. I am a captain of a team. I show up to play the course as it's presented that you created the course. Yeah. The course gets changed. There's different holes, there's different obstacles can get moved.
C
Is it on hard level right now, though? I don't.
L
I have been very busy today. I've not even got a chance to hit one.
C
It is on hard level.
H
It's on crazy hard level.
C
So should we tell someone to make it maybe a little less hard level so that we can have some good mini golf to start a little less
F
hard than it was yesterday?
E
Maybe, like, remove the net on the pink.
J
Whitney, the nets are. Yeah, some of the.
E
Maybe, like, three modifications are completely blocked.
H
But also, I feel like a lot of us have practiced and figured out the tricks to the hard holes. So then if it gets changed and
L
everyone's playing the same course.
C
Everyone's playing the same course. You're right. I was just thinking more like you. If you're. If there's a hard level, we should start easier and get harder.
J
I'd rather it be hard.
C
Okay.
J
Because nothing is worse. The worst part is the easy putts.
D
Is there. Is there a limit to the amount of strokes on a hole?
C
It's just straight.
D
Is it match play?
C
It's match play.
D
Okay.
C
Yeah. So it doesn't matter if you get a 10 on a hole. You just lose.
D
Because there are some holes where I feel like I could shoot like a 30.
L
Well, it's alternate shots.
C
You're gonna need your alternate shot switching tee boxes.
B
Yeah.
C
So it doesn't matter who ends the previous hole. That makes sense.
I
Yeah.
H
Yeah.
C
Yeah. Okay. Good job.
L
All right. 2:30.
C
Yeah. Like, two. Yeah, we. Yeah, we'll be ready to go.
H
I'll tell you this. I don't know if this will up the numbers of the stream. They sent. You know, they sent everybody golf clothes.
A
What do you. What are you wearing?
H
The women's outfits.
D
Will we have outfits?
A
Oh, to relax, Kyle.
H
They sent me. I'm gonna be.
J
Oh, dude, I don't know. It's something about the word
H
for me. I could see Paige Spiranek wearing something like it. Oh, it's a sleeveless number with a zipper down. The edit short. I should have brought boxer shorts. You guys are going to be scarred for life.
E
Said it'll help you.
C
Wow.
H
I got those Courtney Love legs with
D
the bruises all over them.
H
You're not going to want to see if I bend over to get a ball.
J
Yeah.
D
What do I say?
J
How do I respond to this? Yeah, like I don't want to anything
A
but you Kate alive or semi threatened to show her asshole.
D
Yeah.
A
Kyle, the floor is yours.
H
It's like a skin tight split.
J
Trying to be supportive but don't want to be weird. Yeah.
A
What's the prop? What's the appropriate response to this? Like nice or yuck? What route do we go here?
H
That's crazy.
A
Okay.
M
Okay.
J
Yeah, that's. Yeah, you're. Oh, man.
D
It's gonna be. What?
H
Looking forward to being out of the box. And I was like, holy moly, sheesh. I'm just self conscious about my arms.
M
Your arms?
A
Your arms.
H
Like, you know, ladies are self conscious about their arms.
J
Yeah.
E
You guys all worry about like the
H
flower dangler, the bingo wings and I,
E
we're self conscious about your arms too, if it makes you feel any better.
H
Okay. But it'll be fine. Tune in, Tune in.
A
What if it gets zero views five hours straight?
C
Cody's Waffle Stream. How did he finish up?
D
Yeah, I think he ate the waffles. He got tarred and feathered with syrup.
C
I went in and ate one for him.
D
Oh, you did?
C
He was so nervous. He's like, they're gonna say that it's illegal. And I was like, dude, just give me one waffle.
D
Awful.
C
Yeah. So I helped him out with one.
D
Yeah. Yeah.
J
It's impressive.
D
That was for last year. Because last year he picked Florida. Just by picking you're saying that team will not win the national championship and he picked Florida.
A
Is he doing this on purpose?
E
He puked my alarming amount of times.
F
Well, he made a big. He did like the big clip. When he picked Florida, he said, if you're gonna let the big dogs off the porch. Because he picked the number one team in the country when he did it.
D
Yeah. Florida had just won the SEC tournament. He was like, if you're gonna piss on the porch with the big dogs, let the little dog piss too. Said something.
A
What does that mean? As they say.
D
Said something like that. It was something kind of like, yeah, yeah, give me Florida. Another Florida one. I ain't scared. Give me Florida. And floor's like, okay, four to one. He was like.
H
And he could have picked Any team.
D
And then he did it again with Michigan. No, it's like, we. We do a thing with, like, the top 12, basically.
H
Okay.
D
There's, like, a little bit, but he
H
picked the number one.
D
But he picks, like. Yeah.
H
Okay.
D
He takes the big swing.
H
Okay.
D
And then he misses and pretends like he's. Pretends like he's a victim for. Yeah, he's really good at sewing. When it's time to reap, he's not as good. It's.
J
If every year you had to pick one of the. The big four major league teams to not win the title with no. With no stipulations, would you be undefeated?
C
Yes.
J
In your life?
C
Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think. The only times that you wouldn't. So maybe a Marlins World Series.
D
Yeah.
C
But even then, what are. You could look up? Like, what are the longest odds? But, like, even. Even, like, a year like that, you know who the absolute worst team's gonna be, right?
K
Yeah.
G
Yeah.
D
Leicester City.
A
Is there a chance, like, a New York Giants super bowl would have. They were wild card, Right?
C
The longest odds. Yeah. But even like that, like, you could just.
D
But you want to pick the Browns.
C
Yeah. You pick the Browns. Yeah. You'd pick someone who, like, doesn't have a quarterback, like, in baseball. You just be like, all right, I'll take the Rockies this year. Or, you know, I think it'd be pretty tough to that up, but it would be electric if you did.
J
Yeah.
C
It's basically like a pinky bet for every team.
E
You should make Lucas recreate the guy whose ass is falling out if he. If he takes your.
A
Yeah, he has to do that at the Cubs game.
F
Yeah.
M
Catch a foul ball.
C
Well, he will, because he's gonna be wearing a napkin. Why did you say napkin so quick, dog? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
I thought you meant, like, a literal nap.
G
Yeah, I've been human.
C
Like a little piece of napkin.
J
Yeah.
E
Like, Adam wears the leaf.
C
All right, we gotta. I heard there's maybe an update on our boy Reed, and I'm nervous.
L
Yeah.
J
Yeah.
C
I'm nervous.
J
Yeah.
A
Kate and I walked past him this morning, and we're like, hey, man, how's it going? He just goes, so cooked.
C
Yeah. But then he said. So he said the same thing to me. He goes, so cooked. And I was like, really? And he goes, maybe not. Okay, so he might not be cooked.
A
So the only advice he listens to is Kyle, because he. After the show yesterday, he. He sent Welp to the girl.
M
Yeah.
C
I don't know why. I don't know how that went. I don't know how well was the message.
J
I didn't think it was the best play, but I think that conveys. I was assuming she was well aware if she follows the act on Instagram, she. This came across to her and she would know what that whelp meant.
D
Yeah.
C
All right. Can someone get ready?
A
Someone
C
read Max. How you feeling?
H
Okay.
E
Good.
C
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J
Yeah, skin.
C
I. She must be trying to send me a message that I have like, some. Something wrong with.
A
Do you have any moles?
C
I. I mean, I have some, but, like, nothing screening.
A
Yeah.
C
Is that what I'm doing?
J
Yeah, yeah. They're the last. They're the only medical professional. Never mind.
C
But I. It's not on my radar, so, like, I'm showing up and what if they're like, oh, bad.
H
Well, then that's good.
A
That's bad.
C
Is it? I could have just been, like, going on my life. No, no, it's good that this is. I think you guys are talking about. Is this preventative care? Is that what.
A
Yeah, yeah, they might.
C
They might. They're gonna.
A
They're gonna look at you, maybe take some off.
C
Are they gonna look at my dick?
D
Yeah. Yeah.
C
No, that's what I was.
H
Yes.
C
No, they don't.
J
Who's giving me a thorough examination?
A
No, like the last. I went to the dermatologist and he lifted and looked it on.
C
Looked on. No. You guys are lying to me.
D
They do.
J
Yeah.
H
They go over every inch of your skin.
A
I had some scary. I have a scar on my stomach from getting one removed and they had to go back in and take more out. I went in this. They took like a 3D map of my body from every angle so I could see if anything's growing. I kind of want to tweet it out.
C
You should.
A
You look at me from heels up.
C
Are you guys.
A
What if I just Tweeted that one a full 360.
C
Are you guys with me?
M
No.
H
No.
C
I feel fully naked.
G
Yeah.
A
Last time, you know, he's gonna lift up your balls.
C
I feel like they're with me, Dana.
G
I don't think they are.
C
I'm not going.
H
They check inside your too.
C
Oh, yeah. I'm not going.
A
They will look in the crack, but.
H
Yeah, right.
A
I think you get moles in your.
E
No, you.
B
Are you a sunscreen guy, big cat or.
A
No.
C
Sometimes.
A
That's a no.
H
Yeah, you should go, cuz you get really tan.
A
When you were in Scottdale, did you put on sunscreen?
C
Sometimes.
A
This most recent time?
C
Yeah, sometimes like every other day. No, like I would one day. I didn't cuz I wanted to get a little, you know, get a little burn going.
E
Yeah, yeah, he checked.
A
He's checking every fold.
B
Here's a question for the group. If you're getting your going to the doctor and you may get naked. You trimming up the pubes a little
A
bit the night before?
C
Yeah. You got to, right?
I
Yeah, just.
B
Curtis.
C
Oh, I'm trimming tonight. If you guys are not with me. Yeah, I feel like. Yeah, it's just like. Yeah, I know you're with me. God damn it. I'm so stupid. Oh, I hate you.
A
What?
J
I know. I got checked.
C
You should. I should have. You should trim. All right. They're not looking at it because then
H
if you don't trim, they have to go through it like a monkey.
A
Yeah, yeah.
E
You're getting all this read.
K
Yeah, yeah. I'm just listening.
H
It's good to get your skin checked though.
D
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
A
I haven't been going enough. It's been years.
H
You should.
A
I know.
C
It's the first time ever.
H
I go every year.
C
Read.
K
Dude, we're fucking cooked.
C
Why?
K
Hundred percent fucking cooked. Dude, I got a text again at like 10:30 because.
C
All right, so tell us.
K
I talked to you at like 10. I was like, bro, we. We might still have a chance. Yeah, like, we're like, I think we're planning on going out on Saturday. But like it was still like a weird text. And then 10:30 bomb.
C
Wait, so walk us through from. From last night to today.
H
Baka. Starting at whelp.
D
Yeah.
C
You decided to go with Welp. We talked.
D
Everyone.
K
Everyone from the office is like, bro,
C
what do you do?
K
I was like, I don't know. And then she goes, huh? I didn't respond.
C
She responded. You said, welp. She said, huh?
K
Yeah, she said, huh.
C
Oh, no.
K
And then three hours pass. I. I Didn't text her. And I was like, do you want to hang out Friday?
J
Well, you didn't respond to.
L
Huh?
K
No. Yeah, I responded with, you want to hang out Friday?
J
Well, you didn't explain what the whelp meant.
C
No.
A
So welp.
G
Huh?
A
Do you want to hang out Friday? Yeah, that's kind of fine.
K
And then she was like, yeah, like, I can hang out with all my friends on Saturday. And like, all of my friends too. I was like, that's not what I meant. But I didn't say that. And then I didn't respond to that. And then she texted me in the. At 10:30 and was. And was like, yeah, like, I saw, like the yak. Like, I. I'm sorry, like, how you feel? Like, I just. I just want to be friends. Oh, friend zone. Absolute foot. All right, friend zone. We're cooked. We're fucking cooked now. I know. I like bro, but.
C
All right, so we're cooked. But here's. Can I.
A
Can I wait? Let's get the female perspective.
K
Yeah. Kate, what's up?
D
What's up?
C
Give us the exact wording that she said.
K
Do you want to. You want to see the text message?
D
Yeah, yeah, I got you.
C
Because we.
A
Was she upset at all?
K
No, no.
J
Not fine with you publicizing this.
G
Yeah.
J
You're sure?
C
Yeah, yeah. If she's watching right now. Donnie is single. Shut the.
K
Oh, dude, that's actually.
A
Are you hit by Donnie?
K
Yeah, yeah. He's a good looking guy.
D
He would do that to you 100. 100. Doesn't give a thought. He would do that.
F
All right.
C
Do you want to hang out Friday? I said, I think we may be going on Saturday if your friends are going out instead of Friday.
K
Like, bro, this is just being very
C
diplomatic and 1018, here we go.
E
Enough with the F word.
C
Right? And sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Elephant in the room. I won't pretend like I didn't see.
J
She knew what the welt meant.
C
If you want to chat about it, we can. And I appreciate everything you said and your feelings. I'm sorry if I misled you in any way. No, you didn't. But I thought we were hanging out as friends, but I understand from your POV so bad. All right.
D
Oh, man.
C
Okay.
H
She sounds lovely.
K
She sounds like great girl. Absolute wonderful woman.
H
She's trying to do the right.
D
She's like. She's perfect. The way she handled that is perfect.
K
All right.
C
We don't that shit.
D
No, it's not fucking exactly what you
C
want in a partner read. All right, here's the Good news is that you got a final answer.
K
Yeah, we're on to some toxic fucking blondes now.
C
Yeah, right. Like you. I think the biggest problem that you had with this when we started talking about this was it wasn't that you got initially friend zoned, it's that you then got invited watch a movie, which is very. That's a little bit of mixed signals now you know for sure. Now we move on.
K
I definitely have an answer now.
C
Yeah, now we're. Now we're on to great things.
A
You don't seem too beat up, though.
K
Yeah, I'm not like.
A
But I mean, hook her up with Chef Don, dude.
C
You guys are all wanting me to
K
get with Chef Don.
A
He's amazing, dude.
K
No, dude, we're not doing that, bro. Because that would actually happen.
A
Do you want the best for her?
K
Get the out of here, dude. I'm not getting.
H
He made us meatballs this morning. They were super good. He's really cool.
K
Are you trying to, like, turn me against Chef Donnie right now?
C
No, you guys are boys.
K
All right. Yeah, yeah, we're boys, dude.
C
But, yeah, you have an answer, so that's good.
K
Yeah, dude, onto something.
A
Like, on to the next.
C
Right? Like, you don't have to spend any more time. You could be friends with her, but you don't spend any more time thinking about, like, oh, well, you know.
K
Yeah, I'm about to get toxic as. Nah, dude.
C
Well, you'd be nice to her. She's n. No, no.
K
Like, like, not to her, but, like,
D
other girls take it out on other women.
K
Yeah, sure. You know, in your defense, it's demon time now.
E
Your offense. Her saying she just wants to be friends, then inviting you over for a solo movie is crazy.
C
That's crazy. She's not gonna like this.
K
She's probably watching, but that's.
A
That's, like.
E
That's too much.
C
That is very mistake. I don't know, right?
E
Yeah, I do.
J
I don't know what your friendship is rooted in. I don't know the history of your friendship.
C
Yeah, back our boy up.
N
I know, I know.
E
I know.
A
Someone to watch a movie with.
C
Call one of the girls.
H
Go the extra mile to, like, be nice to somebody when they know, like, it's hard to let somebody down because we feel bad. We're, like, always feeling guilty.
D
Read, Read.
J
You're gonna have to take this.
H
Not in a bad way.
D
She doesn't want you, but she just
A
stabbed you in the chest.
C
She feels bad for me, bro. She feels.
K
She wants hang out because she feels bad.
C
Hey, Remember what has transpired since the last time we had this conversation about guys and girls being friends?
D
Yeah.
C
Interlocking of fingers.
J
That's true.
C
Yeah.
K
I don't think I've ever in a lot interlocked with the fact that that
C
story came out last night after we had that conversation.
D
She wants you to want her. She loves that. So you have to, like, stop talking to her.
K
Yeah, yeah, for sure. I, I, Yeah, I definitely.
D
She's gonna, she wants to keep you around because she loves that you want her so badly.
K
Probably. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. You're so right about that.
D
I'm not even kidding.
K
Yeah, I know. I'm. Yeah, I'm done talking with her.
A
But the second that. Yeah, now, now you're in now, bro.
C
Now she's going to be like, all over.
K
I'm telling you, this woman, bro, these woman.
M
Ignore her.
K
Yeah, ignore.
D
You have to ignore.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
D
Oh.
J
Oh, no.
C
It's a good idea, right? Kate,
H
I am listening to the podcast about Roald Dahl. The guy who wrote James and the Giant Peach.
K
Yeah.
H
Guess how he got his wife of 35 years. They have five kids together. He stalked her.
C
Oh, no, let's not do that. Yeah, wait, hold on.
A
You're going home to listen to a podcast about rolled.
C
Yeah, that's the most boring podcast ever.
A
I'm writing the part where he was writing bfg.
H
He was a spy. He, Everyone.
C
You're regressing, Kate, because if you had said documentary, we would have been like, oh, okay, maybe that's it. A podcast about him.
A
What's it called?
H
The Life of Roaldo.
G
Yeah, that draws in.
A
I gotta check this one out.
H
He wrote 007, the fourth one with the evil cat. Okay. He had a smoking hot wife. He stalked her, he called her a ton of times until she finally caved.
A
You want to be like Roald Dahl.
K
No, I do not.
D
Yeah.
K
No. I'm Connor.
D
Yeah, I probably.
K
Yeah. Yeah, I'm done.
A
And then decades now you're in for sure.
H
Yeah, I want to marry him at all.
K
She just wanted gonna go out, hit the town on Friday, probably.
D
Oh, yeah.
H
Get the twins line.
M
You're.
A
You're gonna.
K
Yeah, give him the twins. I locked and loaded, dude.
A
You're gonna have six beers and texture.
K
I don't drink that much, though. I don't drink.
I
Oh, okay.
K
Yeah.
A
Well, you're gonna text her.
K
I don't think I will.
A
2:30 in the morning, dude.
K
Yeah, that's tough.
C
No, that got it. Way too horny. No, not already in the morning.
K
That's like my toxic hours. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you don't know what's gonna happen at 2:00 in the morning. Like, after the bars, you're just like, all right, let's. You know, let's get those. Yeah.
H
I think a 3am text from you, and it's just a picture of you way up in a tree in the
K
dark with Chef Donnie. No, actually, not with Chef Die. No. No, not with Chef Dying.
A
Have you talked to Chef Donnie today?
K
I just said hi to him.
A
He's horny as.
C
Sit. The.
A
He's looking.
K
No, no, no. That's bad.
C
Terrible. All right, Reed.
K
Well, yeah.
A
I'm sorry.
J
Don't.
C
No, I don't think this story is far from over. It would be bad if he was in and then this show got him out.
K
My heart.
C
He was out. He just got.
A
You were always out.
C
He got a reconfirmation that he's out.
E
You need a clarity.
D
But you got to stay out.
K
I'm staying out.
C
You stay out. There's so many. There's. You live in Chicago.
D
Like, there's a. Yeah. Toxic. Go get
K
it. I don't think Chicago summer.
C
Yeah.
H
Yeah. You didn't want to be.
J
Oh, don't put on a toxic mask. That only works for guys who are actually toxic.
M
Yeah.
C
You're a nice guy.
J
You're a nice guy.
C
You're right.
A
Do we know that?
C
Yeah, that's true.
J
I have no idea. I don't know.
D
You.
A
Yeah.
J
Really interested.
K
I don't know. We're gonna see. No, I'm a nice guy.
F
For sure.
C
Okay. Yeah.
G
All right.
C
All right. Thanks. Appreciate it. Do you want to play in the mini golf?
K
I have to. I have to clip it.
C
Yeah, but we have. We could. We could kick someone out.
K
No, but, like, I. I have to clip.
C
Okay.
K
Yeah.
C
Oh.
F
Took a while, but.
C
Oh, hang on.
D
You're back.
G
I'm getting a lot of mean tweets. I did not realize what. What I had created.
C
Yeah. Lucas, you're out.
G
Lucas, no, don't do that. I didn't realize how controversial this was. I was, like, half up. Yeah.
C
Dana, everything that I know around mini golf is controversial.
F
I know.
C
It's a pressure cook.
G
I was. But I was looking out for the producers. That's what I was looking out for.
C
Yeah. And we got. We got everything we wanted out of it. We got Lucas got to play Lucas. Maybe reverse stream, punishment stream. And we got Lucas to confirm that everyone hates his guts.
D
Yeah.
C
And be publicly embarrassed. This Is perfect.
D
I think Lucas knew deep down everyone hated him, but to see.
C
Yeah.
D
All those hands shoot up that fast, that has to sting a little bit.
J
Was it unanimous or just like, pretty unanimous?
D
I mean, I understand you didn't finish asking the question.
C
Yeah. From the producer's point of view, I completely understand where they're coming from. Like, they all would love to play in the mini golf tournament. It's one of the funnest things we do.
J
Huh.
C
It's been a whirlwind show, really. A lot of pieces.
G
Didn't realize that I was gonna get for that.
A
It's mini golf, man.
C
Yeah.
F
Okay.
A
It's what this company's built on.
G
Apologies to anybody that's angry at me.
C
My fault. Nick, how are you gonna handle as a announcer, my inevitable meltdown? Because you've announced all of them, I think.
A
Yeah. I just. I'll probably just watch the video of the last few years and just repeat exactly what I said, because it'll be the same exact thing. It'll be whole 13 on round two, I think, tomorrow.
C
Yeah.
A
You'll have. You'll be in first by three strokes, and then you will putt a. Like, you'll have like a. You're gonna get 13 on 13,
C
and
A
then it's just over. And then every time the camera cuts back to you, it's going to be you in the middle of saying it's over.
E
Say you think I told my men not to address big heads meltdown. God damn right.
M
Yeah.
A
It'll happen.
J
Yeah.
H
Have you been able to pinpoint where. What goes wrong?
C
It's just. I think. I think it's like the first round, I always play a little bit free because I'm like, oh, we got so much golf left. And then as soon as it's like, oh, there's real scores and there's real pressure, I just hold.
A
Just mini golf where you don't have a clutch gene.
J
It is. It's a completely different game. You don't have the adrenaline and norepinephrine.
K
Yeah.
J
Of being in motion and being physical. You're just standing still.
C
Yeah.
J
And especially when it's a short putt, your options are absolute catastrophe or nothing. Because you're just going to make a short putt and no one will care.
C
Yeah.
A
Kyle, are you hoping to get.
J
I was. That's why I was better. Dizzy.
C
Yeah.
B
Oh, wow.
A
Except you did start bleeding.
C
Yeah.
A
But last year, you got yourself. And you worked yourself into a pickle. You were in the middle of a screaming match due to your Putt. Right. Oh, I was.
J
Yeah. Really uncomfortable. Very. You guys just care. Like you guys are.
C
Oh, I remember.
J
Weird. Weird ass company. I get getting competitive and wanting to win the money, but then it.
C
You just started shrinking back in the. In the frame. I remember you were just like, I don't want that part of this.
J
Right. It's on camera.
C
Yeah.
J
Like, control yourself. Try to be likable.
C
It's crazy.
J
Try to appeal to the audience, please.
A
How do you not realize the 50 cameras around you?
C
I can't remember. What was the fight about?
J
There was a controversy. I think I was in the wrong.
A
Yeah, but then you got a reput and ended up getting it.
C
Oh, yeah, that's right.
J
I think we. I won't.
C
What was that?
J
That was blood from my elbow.
C
Oh.
J
How did it get there?
G
Yeah.
J
Flexible elbows.
A
You didn't use your fingers and then.
J
No, I did.
I
Okay.
E
Is Tate still gonna be, like, instructing everyone even though he's part of it now? Like, hold a hole like he was yesterday?
A
Well, he has no power today or tomorrow.
C
No, no.
A
Remember when yesterday was after dark? Today is a different thing.
E
Remember when Tate tweaked yesterday, Kyle?
J
What a tweak.
F
Someone.
I
Who was it?
E
Someone double tapped. And Tate immediately after like one redo
A
already picked up the ball.
C
Is they gotta do it over.
G
Like he smokes.
E
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some funny moments.
C
Oh, you know what the a fun wrinkle for this is? Do you guys know who our head rules official is? It's all business, Pete. So that'll be fun.
A
But he cares if people hate him. He'll be able to.
C
It's gonna be. He's perfect for it.
J
Yeah.
D
Is.
C
Yeah. He doesn't give a.
A
Why isn't he playing?
C
I guess we could.
A
He's old.
C
I guess we could kick Lucas out.
A
Dana.
G
I'm staying out of this one, boys.
C
I like it too, because you didn't. It wasn't like a planned thing.
I
You just.
C
You just said it. And then I was.
G
I was around.
C
Yeah.
G
And then it became real. And then. Yeah, whatever.
N
Farted.
C
What a fart.
D
What a fart.
C
Oh, yeah. You farted, right? I did.
D
Yeah.
C
You're just so nervous.
J
Yeah.
C
Wait, can we go back to the fart?
K
Yeah.
D
Do that again. I got to see this again.
G
Fart.
E
Great shot.
C
Oh, I love it. By the way, the barstool store. We finally built a game for the real ball knowers. Introducing Embrace debate, the new party game from Barstool Sports with two under the greatest sports debate topics. Now Available online at Walmart and Walmart everywhere. This is for the fans with takes. Loud ones, bad ones, irrational ones. You'll defend like your life depends on it. It's chaos in a box. You're pulling cards, picking sides, and arguing sports topics that escalate from legit debates to absolute nonsense in seconds. No stats, no Googling, no safety net. Just how you. How well you can sell your argument and win the room. Perfect for the pre games, tailgates and nights where everyone thinks they're the smartest sports fan alive. Embrace debate. Shop now@walmart.com or in stores nationwide. Let me use real quick. Oh, man.
A
Kyle, Is that.
C
It's.
A
For as long as I've known you, you've always broken tension with fart.
J
I have? Yeah. I use it as like a.
A
It's almost like a. Those lizards that spit.
J
Like a lizard that spits.
A
Yeah, it's much like. Like that.
J
It's an emergency tension dissolver.
C
You're not wrong.
A
Has it ever backfired? Like you're in the middle of an argument and there's like. Do you just fart and get more mad?
J
That's the thing. I think I'm like, pretty. My success rate is high. Yeah, it's. I mean, it's. It's universal.
A
You could make a tribesman laugh.
J
It's like a. Yeah, like a prop comic. I do overdo it at home before. Yeah, it loses. It gets a little stale after four years,
A
but. Are those like, you're still intentionally doing a fart to de. Escalate things?
J
Not anymore.
A
So if your cat tears up your couch and you guys are like, what do we do? Do you fart?
J
No.
A
Okay.
J
No. No. But I would do it in college all the time.
A
Like in class?
J
No, like with the boys.
D
Oh, yeah.
J
And it would work.
C
Yeah.
E
You tricked Connor into smelling your fart last night.
A
Every year I can get him pretty easily.
F
Yeah.
G
You're farting in that booth constantly.
J
Really?
A
Yeah. But last year I got Connor to smell my fart. I forgot how. I asked if he had like a. I don't know how you do it last year, but then yesterday I was. Just Had a sharpie with me and I was like pretending to. I was actually sniffing it the whole time and I was like, Connor, like, lean in. Does it smell like. Is there like a cloud of sharpie? And he put his head like. Like between my legs and I got him again. So now I gotta figure out how to get them next year
H
as Pat's from like a never fart family. They don't think it's funny. And he doesn't think farts are funny. And I'm from like a nutty professor family where we were around the kitchen table, like.
J
Yeah, my family. We were all farted.
H
Big fart family. And so he. I will come up with funny ways like that to get him.
E
Yeah.
H
And because he hates it. But then when we're actually like fighting and I have to fart, like, the thought of him hearing me fart makes me want to die. Like, when we're having a tough time, I'm like, I can't.
A
Can't fart right now.
H
Yeah. Because then other. I don't know if that makes sense.
A
My family is much like Pat's. It was almost like the town in Footloose where you can't dance about it. No Fart house.
H
You guys had to sneak out to
C
a barn in the woods.
A
No. And even poop. Like, we shower on. No, not really. Shower on and go to the basement.
D
Wow.
J
Yeah.
C
This is why I haven't proposed.
H
Yeah.
G
My dad definitely farted a lot. I mean, but like, I don't fart in front of people now.
A
No, I don't. Not really. I do it in front of Connor. I don't know what it is about him. Maybe I don't care.
D
Yeah.
K
Yeah.
D
I think it's a total lack of respect for him as a human being.
A
Nobody else.
D
Nobody else.
A
Nobody in here has ever.
M
Oh.
A
Besides Fart Eliminator. But other than that, I'm not ripping.
E
No.
G
Remember, Rico farted in mostly hoops.
D
That's right. He did.
G
It was so disrespectful.
D
It was like 9:00am too.
G
Yeah.
A
Oh, and.
G
Oh, that was so gross.
E
Some people just naturally have worse farts. Or is it always dependent on what you eat?
G
Because I feel like Rico Tate has really bad farts.
E
Yeah. Just all the time.
H
Kb, aren't you consistently.
J
No, no.
H
Not smell wise.
J
I love prolific.
A
Do yours reek?
J
Not really.
H
No.
J
Not sometimes. The heavy protein, huh?
H
Yeah.
J
Meat sticks.
B
Farting with kids is very fun because it's an instant.
C
Yeah.
H
Yes.
J
Love it.
H
I've been doing this on my finger with my five year old. He thinks it's like the funniest thing, which is, I guess, gross.
C
Spider Blutman out there practicing.
D
What a duo.
F
See the Brandon Walker news?
C
No.
D
Huge news.
C
Oh, that was as much of a dud as.
D
Yeah, that. That's pretty bad.
C
Yeah.
D
It was a pretty bad era.
C
Yeah.
A
Did he not play well?
D
I got nothing out of it.
C
No.
D
I think he was Injured, didn't play well. When he did play, I hate.
J
I'm seeing it all the time. I hate it. And I get it from the athlete, but these guys transfer and they do worse at the better school, and it's sad, but you understand why they take the money.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the money is like getting. You're 20. If you're 20, 21 years old, someone offers you $750,000 and you know you're not going to be an NBA.
J
Exactly.
C
It's like, how would you ever pass it? You can't. You cannot.
D
Nine minutes a game. Tough.
A
I hope he does really well somewhere else, though.
C
That would be awesome.
A
That would be amazing.
C
Like Ole Miss or something. Imagine could.
D
He could be getting forced, though. That's the thing with these.
C
Yeah, that's. A lot of them are about.
D
Is. They talk.
C
Yeah, yeah.
D
The coach.
C
The coach is just like, hey, we don't have a spot for you.
D
Everybody's like, the Portal's so good because these kids have agency over their own lives. Except they don't. No. It's the coach times when the coaches are like, running a business, please go anywhere but here.
J
Roster cap.
D
The kids just kind of stuck out in the cold, like.
J
And you're at four different schools, you never truly get to develop with a coach, a team, a playbook, friends.
C
It's a good point, Titus, because you do see a lot of guys go in the Portal and. And everyone's like, you know, people on them. It's like the coach could have easily just sat them down and been like, we're gonna give you zero dollars and not play.
D
Yeah. I don't know what happened with. With Brandon Walker, but, like, it happened. That does. That does happen, where it's like, we brought you in. We thought you were gonna be better than this. You suck.
E
Yeah.
D
Please leave.
A
I mean, Brandon Walker, we put you around talent.
D
Yeah.
A
And you just don't show up.
D
You don't show up.
C
Yeah. Wisconsin had a couple of those guys. The best player on Vermont this year, Gus Yalden. The Gus Bus.
D
Yeah.
C
And then the kid on Buffalo, Daniel Freetag.
D
He.
C
They were both badgers, and I think they sat him down, was just like, hey, we don't really have playing time for you. So they went lower conference, and they're doing well.
A
It's brutal, but it's kind of. There's kindness there. Like.
C
Yeah. It would be cool to be the man at a smaller school if. If you could. Like, if you said you get two pass in terms of your career and it's like one of them is big school, but play four or five minutes a game. The other is smaller school, be the stud and you go to, like, at least one tournament.
L
I think.
D
Yeah, like.
C
Like being the man.
J
Absolutely.
C
Like being the man at Vermont, like, if you ever win a tournament.
D
I think the ideal scenario is be the man at a big school that has not been good ever. Like, if you were the. The best player in Nebraska this year.
C
Yeah.
D
Or where they have. They have money. They're going to give you a ton of money. But you're still. But yeah. I don't know. Going to football school would be tough. You want to go to basketball.
C
I think the best. I think the best career you could have is be the man for like three to four years at a smaller. And then your. Your fourth or fifth year, go to like a Kentucky or Kansas and be good there because you're, like, older.
D
Yeah.
C
You know what I mean? Have one last year at a blue blood and actually contribute because you're. You've played college basketball for four years,
A
Titus, you're around during nil. Would you have ever considered taking the bait on a smaller school?
D
It's a good question. I was a unique case because I could have made some good money despite not being a good basketball player.
A
You don't give yourself enough credit.
D
But I mean, like, if, like, staying at Ohio State, I could have made a lot of money even though I didn't play because I had, like, my blog and.
A
Right. Connections and the networking.
C
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
D
So, like, I would have factored that in and been like, if I just stay here and start a YouTube channel, I could probably make more than if I put my abilities on the free market. I actually thought about transfer after my sophomore year, and then I didn't because of. I was just like, who gives a. If I go to a small school and average 10 points a game?
J
So you also probably enjoyed your time.
D
Yeah. I was like, this is awesome. This is sick. I get a front row to, like, the best games.
J
Yeah.
G
I will say, as a guy, that's pretty sick. A D2 school, like, there was one dude that got drafted, the NFL. And we're like, that guy's the man.
C
Yeah.
A
Oh, yeah.
G
And then the best player on the basketball team is like, he's the coolest
C
guy I've ever seen.
M
Right.
C
Yeah. Being the man at a school, I was a small pond.
D
I was never gonna play. I was realistic. So I was like, if I transfer, I'm transferring just because my ego wants me to play.
A
But if there was somebody offering you $200,000, that would have been different. Yeah.
J
The worst thing you could be is a 15 year old who's good but not great. And your dad is an asshole and he sees the dollar signs and he's stabbing you with peptides. He's putting you on vibrating plates and cryogenic therapy and he's making you float all day and under infrared therapy thinking you're gonna get him money.
D
Yeah.
C
Moving you to, you know, a good county in Florida, right?
J
Florida.
C
Yeah, that's. That's happening now.
J
It's happening like that.
C
That is going to be the new thing because you know, for the longest time it was, you know, people being unrealistic about their kids being professional athletes. Now the fact that you can get paid to play college sports, a lot of parents are probably like, oh well my kid has a real shot to make money.
D
It's way more realistic to make a profit off your child.
C
Correct. So it's dangerous.
D
Yeah, it is very dangerous. Yeah. I probably would have transferred.
M
Yeah.
C
One year like. Well once like bragging all them leave.
D
If we're assuming that I didn't have like a little bit side media thing going on and I was just getting $0 to be a walk on.
C
Imagine if you were.
A
I don't know dude. That would be tough though.
D
Like you and then some schools. I will give you. I don't know how much. Like $50,000 back then felt like 50 million. Imagine, you know what I mean?
C
So imagine Indiana State was like we're going to give you 25 minutes a game and $75,000. That would have been so sick.
D
That would have been so much money. Yeah, I would have, I would have transferred. Transferred.
G
Yeah.
D
And then I would have sucked. That's the thing. I would have got to do $75,000. I'm rich as I don't need to practice.
C
Yeah. It's like a.
D
You just want to retire.
J
Living like a king.
H
Do d2 or d3 guys ever go pro? Does that happen or.
C
No, you got to be every now and then.
G
Primarily, yeah.
J
Rare baseball. It seems more popular, right?
H
I don't know.
C
Well, it depends. There's a progression. Like the Bennett Sturts, the point guard for Iowa. He started as a D2 guy.
H
Okay.
C
He played it. He played at Drake last year. Iowa this year. He will go. He will play in the NBA.
D
Duncan Robinson was D3.
E
Yeah.
C
Wow. Amherst.
D
Went to Michigan and.
C
But it's not like there's no combine
H
where you can just go and.
C
Well, I don't think what you're asking. I don't think.
H
I don't know.
C
I don't know if there's ever a story of a D2 or D3 guy just getting drafted. Drafted. They usually Progress up to D1.
D
Okay, what was Scotty Pippen.
C
Oh, was he actually. What.
F
Where was the axle? Was it.
D
The axle was juco.
C
Yeah. But he ended up being obviously D1.
D
UAV was D1.
C
Maybe in the NFL. Because the NFL does a lot more on, like, traits like if you're this fast and this big, you could potentially have a chance.
B
There's non D1 guys every year in that kind of.
H
Drafted.
C
Yeah.
B
That. Not maybe not necessarily drafted, but like, make a team.
F
Ben Wallace.
C
People are saying, oh, yeah, that's a good one.
B
Charles Oakley.
C
Yep, yep.
B
Virginia.
H
You know, iup had guys that would go to the Steelers for a little
C
bit sometimes, maybe practice squad guys.
D
I do, I do think Pippin was. He went to Central Arkansas. I think they're D1 now, but I don't think they were back in the day when he was coming out.
F
Dennis Rodman.
D
Yeah, Dennis Rodman.
C
Oh. So there was.
H
There are.
D
There are guys. It's. It's rare.
F
Rare.
C
You guys ready?
D
Rarity.
C
Oh, well, I should.
H
I'm excited. It's been fun. Just like, hit me look the wrong side of the.
C
I look, I look at D
H
and as every year, I have this delusion that I'm going to actually like, like crush and shock.
C
Hey, you're on our team. You got to be good. You, when we went to Long Island, I think you were good. Right.
H
And then, then I fell apart towards the end.
C
Okay, stay strong.
H
Okay, I'm staying strong. But you do have this idea that you're, like, gonna go out there and have a magic round and I will.
D
I'm worried about my matchup with Donnie. I won't lie.
C
Why?
D
I mean, I own him mentally. There's no question about that. Like, I own that guy. But he grew up rich. He grew up in a country club. He had a silver spoon in his mouth. He had access to, you know, things that I didn't have access to. And I just, I am worried. His putting stroke is probably better than mine.
A
Yeah, but his vacations weren't to places that had putt putt courses.
D
It's true. Yeah, that's a good point.
C
You and PFT though, mentally dominate both those guys.
D
That's right. That's my only play. I do think he's better at golf than me, but I think you guys
C
Got to set the tone.
D
I'll get inside his head. I'll get inside Donnie's head for sure.
C
First match, set the tone.
D
I'll try to hold his hand, take no prisoners, try to interlock fingers.
A
Also, he's competing for money, which he doesn't need at all.
C
No.
D
Right, right. Good point.
A
So there's. He's not really playing for anything.
C
Tj Is there our guest here? Yeah.
H
Ow.
C
Schwalzy. What's up, dude?
J
Hey, what's up, fellas?
M
I'm live from the MLB Network. That's baseball and the NHL Network here in Secaucus, New Jersey. It's beautiful this time of year. So I appreciate you having me reoccurring guest at this point.
C
Yeah. So wait, so are you. Are you trying to, like, be a professional now?
I
You know what?
J
I like to play both sides of the ball.
M
Right. It's kind of like Mike Brable. Like, I like to be buttoned up, but I also like to have some side action. So that's where I'm at with these things. And I think I can articulate hockey and I like to talk it. So we're giving it a go. It's my league debut tonight.
C
Okay.
D
Love it.
C
Thank you. Jordan's on here because he texted me last night, and our teams are playing in the Frozen Four tomorrow. So Wisconsin is playing North Dakota State. Where is North Dakota?
J
Und.
C
North Dakota State.
M
Come on.
C
The Jackrabbits.
M
Yeah, the South Dakota State Jackrabbits.
C
Yeah. All right, so we're playing North Dakota verse versus Wisconsin, and he's like, we should bet something. And I initially said I want the rights to. That's porn. He's not willing to do it because he's about to lose that spaceball team, Dana. And so you. You threw out that you're going to make a video this summer where I would have to be goalie, which I've never played before.
M
Right.
C
You and your brother who plays in the NHL.
M
Correct. Yep. My cousin who plays in the American League, who's having a good season, myself out there, former first round pick, and Bob Gucci out there, just wiring one timers, like just sweet, sweet chin music in and around. Well, be respectful, big cat. But yeah, that's. That's what I proposed. You and net. Maybe we could do it at the Kohl Center Laban somewhere in Madison, but. Okay, you obliged.
C
Well, I obliged because you said that I get to decide my side, and I have decided my side. And I. If you can't give me my side, then I will have to back out.
M
Okay, that's fair.
C
All right, so you. Your brother plays in the league for. Remind me.
M
The Utah Mammoth.
C
Yeah. I want the Zamith.
H
Oh, that thing's sick.
J
Oh, my God.
C
I want. I want the Zamith.
M
So you want, like. Like, basically what you just did with the trough, you put it in your.
C
I want the Zammon. I want the Zammoth. You got to get it done for me. I want the Zameth.
D
Give me the.
M
You want the Zamith.
C
Okay, so.
D
Yeah.
C
So sweet.
M
I. I mean, I could. I could drive that to you right from Soak City, Utah.
G
No doubt.
M
100%.
C
So ask your brother. Your brothers could just go to the organization and be like, hey, listen, I. I got. My. My brother got me into a little of a pickle here, but we gotta. We gotta put up the Zth.
L
Right?
M
Well, the Zamith, it's not. I think they're just configuring it right now, so I don't know if it's. I think it's in production, so we can. Yeah, I can.
C
Oh, no, no, no, no.
G
That looks.
C
It's ready to go.
D
That's really.
C
I tried to.
A
Jordan, how many people are crammed on the Zamith?
M
Damn.
C
Yeah.
M
God damn that thing. Yeah, that could snort anything. They should put a hot tub in the back of that thing, really soak out and soak city.
C
Wait, so let me ask you a question. What. What hap. Like, if I'm in goal and you're just firing shots at me, I'm gonna get hurt?
M
Well, no, you're gonna have the proper protection on first off, and we won't be wired them at. We're not jackasses. You know what I mean? We're good Midwest people, so I think more so just be like a shootout challenge. We could come up with something. I'm not looking to hurt you, big cat.
K
Okay.
C
All right. Because I just don't want to get, like, 100 miles an hour off the face.
M
No, no, no. I would never do that to you. You know, we're. We're more than Facebook friends at this point, so you can trust me on that. I think we just do, like, a shootout challenge or something fun to get you out there in between the pipes.
C
Okay. All right. So let's. Let's amend it, because I don't know if you're gonna be able to get me the actual damage.
M
That might. That might be tough.
C
Okay.
A
Might be tough.
C
Here's. Here's the amendment. What if we did the shootout challenge in Chicago? So I Don't have to travel. And all I ask is that if I ever am in Utah when a mammoth game is going on, I get to ride on the Sammoth.
M
Yeah, I. I could. I don't want to under or over promise and under deliver, but I like to think as the people's insider, I could make that happen for you.
C
Yeah, that's a fair deal.
D
So.
C
And then also when you. When you. When you come out, we'll have all the. We'll have everyone on skates. We can make a whole video out of it.
M
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Porn on skates.
L
I like it.
C
Yeah, we could do a live yak from Johnny's Ice House.
M
That would be great. Yeah, we should do that.
C
Okay.
D
All right, I'll do that.
J
That'd be fun.
M
And we can get you some pads maybe from, I don't know, the Blackhawks or I know some goalies in the area, too, that are still playing pro hockey. That's easy.
C
Okay. Perfect.
L
Yeah.
C
All right, great deal. And then where can people watch you tonight?
M
NHL network, Local cable television, I believe. Yeah, everyone should have it. I think as long as you're, you know, rocking some sort of subscription. One of the 14 out there. But yeah, I think it's on national TV, baby.
C
Okay. And if you say that's baseball on air, like, we will be watching.
M
Yeah, I'm gonna. I got like, probably like a sheet I'm gonna come up with right now as I'm getting in the office right now of things that I need to say on air. That's baseball is one. Obviously, I got to mention the chin 93.1, which is my make believe radio station. So there's an array of things that I have written down that I'll work into this broadcast. You best believe it, baby.
C
Okay, but when you say that's baseball, maybe a mention of. And we're down.02 against Dana Beach.
J
Yep.
M
Or we. I could twist it in a positive sense. Say we got three at home. We got. We're going back home, baby. So. Yeah.
E
All right.
C
All right. Great. All right, so. So we have a deal. So we'll the.
G
The.
C
The North Dakota Wisconsin game tomorrow night. We'll decide if we will. If I will be getting in full pads and we'll be doing a yak live from Johnny's Ice House. Or we get a ride on the Zamith.
M
Yeah, that's confirmed. That's a fair deal. Yeah, that is per Adrian Wojanowski and Darren Drager from the NHL. But I want to say, are you Going to go to the national championship if Wisco wins, because I'm going to go. If North Dakota is going to win. But I'm going to be in Vegas boots on the ground Saturday. If they. If they beat Bucky here, I'm probably
C
not going to be able to make it because we have. We have IPCON.
B
Oh.
C
In Chicago. So we're going to be chasing goals live at the United center on Saturday.
M
Yeah. Throwing tequila ice shots at Federales at the bar before. Okay, I got it.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, we. Listen, Wisconsin, we already won the women's title five out of seven years. No big deal. So we're going to just. We're a hockey school now.
M
Yeah, yeah. You kind of. I mean, they fell off for a while. They're like, I was committed there way back in the day, and then they were just so brutal. I had to open up my commitment and take my talents west and north to North Dakota. So.
C
Yeah, I heard you were a coward about decommitting too.
J
I always wonder how people do that.
K
Yeah.
J
Make the call.
D
Yeah.
M
I was sitting in a two diamond, like Motel 6 in Sioux City, Iowa, because that's where I was gonna go play junior hockey. Just in bum nowhere. And I remember I called Mike Eaves off my LG flip phone, and I was like, michael, I hate to do this to you. I'm gonna decommit. And then he just me for like two minutes straight.
C
Yeah.
J
I always wonder. You're just allowed to with that.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
M
And I'm a. I'm a. A 15 year old kid at this point. Fellas, like, I don't know what to say. I had my buddy in the room because I needed, you know, some sort of emotional guidance. And I called him. I remember he just hung up. And his last words were just you. And I saw him like five years after that in a locker room, actually. No diddy on that, but in Verona, Wisconsin, and he was on the ice. He was like, coaching some kids before, and we. It was awkward. So.
D
Yeah.
M
That was my last encounter with Michael Eves.
C
Oh, man. Could have been a badger. Could have been a badger.
M
Could have been a badger, man.
C
All right, well, I'm excited for tomorrow. And then we'll. We'll. We'll settle up after that.
M
Sounds good. Yeah.
C
All right. Any last words? Any last words for Dana? You guys are in the middle of a series.
M
Yeah, it's. It's a big tilt. We're just working on our venue right now. I got some other things in the Works that. I'm not going to say live on air, but it's good luck, you know, it's gonna be tough.
C
I got an idea. I got a. What if there's, like, a private rooftop in, like, Sedona that we could do it at?
M
Oh, and then play that exact.
A
That's where friends go to chill.
M
I was gonna say we could. Yeah, that couple's massage spa treatment. Yeah, we could do that. As long as we can hold hands before as the national anthem is going on, I'm okay with it.
C
Okay.
G
All right, see you there.
C
All right, thanks, Jordan. We'll see you later.
D
All right, Jordan.
M
Have a good day.
C
See ya. Yep.
B
Peace.
F
I think they're closing the Johnny's Ice House right here.
C
What do you mean?
F
Pickleball bought it?
C
No,
H
but did you see the awesome ice thing they just opened up near the United Center?
C
No.
H
It's like a bunch of ice rinks, a bar, a restaurant, like, all this cool. It's. They just opened, like, that might be
C
where Johnny's is going.
H
Yeah, there's like a new really cool thing right in that area.
C
Damn. What area is this?
H
United center area. So, okay, I've been seeing a bunch of socials for it. Looks awesome. I just can't think of the name.
C
All right, good show, guys.
N
Yeah.
H
Yeah.
J
A lot happening.
C
And we're gonna be right into mini golf right after this, so get excited. And first two rounds, back to back. Let's go.
J
Let's go.
C
Yeah.
G
I just want to say, big cat, I don't care if the fans are mad at me. I don't want the producers here to be mad at me.
C
Oh, I don't think they are.
G
I was trying.
J
You're overthinking this.
G
I was looking out for them and
A
it's mini golf button.
E
No.
D
Why would they be, Maddie?
G
I don't know, Jake.
A
You fought for that.
J
You're overthinking.
D
Why would the producer.
G
I'm overthinking it, but.
D
Yeah.
C
Who gave you a bad look?
G
You almost look like he was disappointed at me.
D
You almost opened the door for them to participate.
C
Yeah. You were there.
G
That's what that was, my man.
A
You're there.
G
I want to apologize to Lucas as well, but I don't know. I want the producers to not hate
D
me because the only person in this office that should be mad at you is Lucas.
J
Yeah.
G
Yeah. Okay.
C
Yeah, yeah. Producers. You were the one who.
G
I've been thinking about it all show. I, I.
D
To be fair, Lucas. Lucas should hate your.
G
Yeah, fair. That's fair.
C
But also, if there's one guy to hate you, it's him because he cares.
A
He's a bad guy to have hat.
C
True.
G
You guys can tweet at me all you want. I don't give a. I don't want people here to hate me.
E
Dana, you're thinking too much. Distract yourself with something else. Like space.
C
I don't know. Space, dude. All right, let's spin the wheel. TJ
E
who was giving looks?
G
No, Jacob looked disappointed at me.
A
Oh.
G
But that was probably just.
F
I think that maybe their perspective is like you were once behind the scenes and now are in front of the camera and this was an opportunity. Yeah, they need to have that.
G
But I was saying the people behind the scenes should have a chance. In general, the whole squad should have. All right.
C
All right. See you guys tomorrow.
D
Yeah.
C
It's time to talk shop.
F
Go watch mini golf. See? Marley got.
Episode: Tensions Flare As Dana Beers And Lucas Fight For A Spot In Barstool Mini Golf Open | The Yak 4-8-26
Date: April 8, 2026
Hosts: Barstool Sports crew – Big Cat, KBNoSwag (Kyle), Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, and others
This episode of The Yak is a chaotic, hilarious, and sometimes heartfelt look at the drama around the Barstool Mini Golf Open – a tournament among Barstool talent and staff, capped by controversy as Dana Beers and Lucas battle for a coveted playing spot. The crew debates fairness, content, and producer inclusion while spinning out about the nature of competition, loyalty, and awkward office social politics. There’s also discussion about viral sports rumors, personal stories, and a (failed) office romance.
On Producer Inclusion/Fairness
On Office Romance and the Friendzone
On Rumor Speculation
On The Nature of Office Competition
Snarky, sarcastic, raucous, occasionally sentimental – the Yak blends sports talk, office reality TV, group therapy, and juvenile humor. The hosts riff loudly, bust each other's chops, and look for maximum entertainment and chaos, always with a meta-awareness that the audience is primed for both drama and laughs.
This episode of The Yak delivers everything that makes the show unique: genuine tension over fairness and merit in an office contest, comic debates on sports rumors and personal mishaps, and the kind of group dynamic that blurs the lines between coworkers, content creators, and reality show cast. With the Barstool Mini Golf Open serving as backdrop, the show sets the stage for both on-course drama and the more subtle social competitions that make Barstool content so addictively watchable.
Next up: The Barstool Mini Golf Open – streaming live after the show.