THE GOLDEN EPISODE: The Yak Crew Learns About All About Gold | The Yak 4-29-26

Summary

The Yak 4-29-26: THE GOLDEN EPISODE — The Yak Crew Learns All About Gold

Podcast: The Yak
Date: April 29, 2026
Hosts: Kyle “KBNoSwag” Bauer, Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Big Cat, et al.
Special Guest: Dr. Michael Fuljenz (“America’s Gold Expert”)

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Episode Overview

This “Golden Episode” of The Yak is a hilarious, meandering, and surprisingly informative journey as the Yak crew delves into all things gold. Propelled by Steven Cheah’s newfound fascination with the topic, the episode is a freewheeling mix of banter, collective ignorance, genuine attempts at learning, and a rare expert intervention. The group discusses everything from how gold is bought, sold, and valued, to collecting novelty gold bars, the role of gold in tech, its place in human desire, and the cosmic origins of precious metals.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Yak Tackles the Topic of Gold (11:02–21:40)

• Steven Cheah’s Gold Questions (11:31): Steven kicks off the gold discussion with, “If you guys were handed a gold bar, how quickly could you turn that into money, and how much percent of worth do you think you can get for it?”
• Office Gold Collector Spider Joins (15:44): Spider explains how he collects branded, licensed gold bars (Barbie, Hot Wheels, NASCAR, Coca-Cola, etc.), merging his love of collecting, brand nostalgia, and (hopefully) investment:
  “You got a zig when people are zag.” – Spider [17:38]
• Investment v. Collectability: The crew debates whether branded novelty gold could ever have actual value, with Spider insisting there’s an “inbuilt fail-safe” because you can always melt them into their raw gold value.
• How Does One Sell Gold?: The crew expresses confusion about actually reselling physical gold: pawn shop, jeweler, eBay, or gold dealers? They realize most of what they “know” is from old TV commercials for “Cash 4 Gold.”
• Spider’s Humble Brag: “We’re up. We’re up. We’re up. We’re humbly up. I don’t want the IRS…” – Spider [19:47]

2. How Much is Gold Worth? (23:29–24:46)

• Steven Cheah announces: “$4,500 for an ounce.”
• Realization: Those classic “gold bars” (like in movies) are 27.4 pounds and worth roughly $2 million each (39:07).

3. What is Gold, Actually? (25:02–31:10)

• The group openly admits near-zero knowledge of gold’s origins and scientific formation:
  • “What is gold?” – Danny [25:05]
  • “Is gold cosmic, alien?” [28:29]
• Brief detour into gold's cosmic origin: “Gold is cosmic process dust from which the solar system formed.” [28:36]
• Ongoing attempts to unearth facts and flounder for meaning—equal parts hilarious and relatable.

4. Gold in Culture, History & Technology

• Riffing on Gold’s Allure/Value: Why does humanity adore shiny things? What is the “innate” appeal? (“We want gold. We don’t know why, but we want it” – Kyle [70:49].)
• Gold in Modern Applications: Steven Cheah:
  • 50% of gold goes into jewelry, 40% into bars/coins/investments, and 10% into tech (like phone connectors/satellites) [47:52, 47:55].
• Olympic Gold Medals are Mostly Silver: Mind-blowing for several in the group.
  • “Olympic gold medals are not pure gold, but they’re primarily composed of at least 92.5% silver.” – Stephen Cheah [35:55]
  • “Michael Phelps is the richest man on Earth.” – Brandon (jokingly) [35:47]

5. Guest Segment: Dr. Michael Fuljenz, America’s Gold Expert (50:31–66:15)

• Dr. Fuljenz provides clarity on:
  • How to buy and sell gold safely (“Know your dealer! Get information first.” [56:49])
  • The rise in gold value and role of central banks [55:45]
  • Real v. novelty gold, brand premiums, and counterfeiting concerns (“Any of those accessories cost you money in premiums. You’re investing in a collectible, not in the value of the gold as much.” [57:28])
  • Trusted places to sell gold and avoid scams
  • The process of how gold moves from earth to bar/coin
• Fun moment: Dr. Fuljenz flexes possessing “hundreds of thousands” in personal gold. [62:27]
• The expert’s cameo intentionally veers into college basketball/RPI rankings (he’s also a sports stats guru!).
• Jerry, his tech guy, becomes an immediate fan favorite for both holding the phone and being a low-key gold owner.

6. Gold’s Physicality, Origins, and Mystique

• More discussion reveals gaps in scientific knowledge, especially about gold’s origins (cosmic dust, meteorite impacts).
• Group admits to knowing less after an hour of talking—but is now desperate to acquire gold anyway.

7. Personal Collections and Value

• The crew compares Spider’s gold bars to personal obsessions (trading cards, T-shirts featuring Simpsonized Ken Griffey Jr., etc.).
  • “I don’t view it as a financial investment. I view it as a happiness investment.” – Kate [23:16]
• TJ: “The price of tungsten, by the way, is way up.” [32:18]

8. The Innate Human Drive for Gold (Reflection)

• Kyle: “We want gold. We don’t know why, but we want it.” [70:49]
• Kate: “It’s almost like human instinct. Since the dawn of time, we’ve wanted it.” [70:57]
• Riffing on monkeys, crows, fish and other animals seeking shiny things, drawing a line between ancient urges and gold's present-day value.

9. Finale: Banter, Birthdays, Food, and Gold’s Lingering Mystery

• Tommy’s 30th birthday is celebrated with awkward "CT" (Compliment Tommy) competition, baby photos, and discussions on living alone and life logging.
• The show closes with typical Yak flair—food talk (wings, Mountain Dew), planned soccer commentary, and plans to seek out gold for the office.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Spider’s Investment Strategy:
  “You got a zig when people are zag.” – Spider [17:38]
• Gold Standard Epiphany:
  “I don’t know. Gold’s not even 21 years old.” – Tommy (mis-fired joke about gold’s age) [26:13]
• Realization of Shared Ignorance:
  “But like can’t you—trees make oxygen, what makes gold?” – Brandon [25:25]
• On Collecting Gold as a Vibe:
  “We want gold. We don’t know why, but we want it.” – Kyle [70:49]
• Dr. Fuljenz’s Gold Advice:
  “Know your dealer. Before you buy anything, get information first.” [57:03]
• About Scarcity and Gold:
  “There’s a theory that Fort Knox is empty.” [14:41]
• Barstool Brand Moment:
  “Imagine being a 4 billion year old asteroid and ending up as Spongebob. What a shitty existence.” – Kyle [30:18]
• Olympic Gold Shocker:
  “Olympic gold medals are not pure gold, but they’re primarily composed of at least 92 and a half percent silver.” – Stephen J. [35:55]
• Aspirational Yak Office Decor:
  “Just a gold bar sitting in the middle would be so sick.” – Brandon [67:30]

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Noteworthy Segments (with Timestamps)

• Office Gold Collector Spider Interview: [15:44–21:40]
• Price & Sale of Gold Discussion: [23:29–24:46], [39:07–40:07]
• Dr. Michael Fuljenz, Gold Expert Call-In: [50:31–66:15]
• Personal Reflections on Wanting Gold: [70:49–71:01]

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Tone and Language

The Yak remains true to its signature rowdy, self-deprecating, tangent-filled, improv-comedy style. Members’ genuine curiosity, cluelessness, and willingness to riff on their own stupidity are on full display, making the gold conversation surprisingly fun and relatable for the average listener. Jokes, bits, and derailing asides are frequent, especially as new revelations stun the group or an earnest attempt to learn collapses into laughter.

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Skipped Sections

• Ads (Stella Blue Coffee, Roback, Aura Frames, Mountain Dew, DraftKings, etc.)
• Podcast intros/outros
• Brief, unrelated off-topic tangents/filler

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Conclusion

The Yak’s “Golden Episode” is classic Yak—equal parts comedy, chaos, and unexpected education. What starts as a goof on gold winds up as a semi-legit deep-dive complete with a real gold expert, only for the crew to emerge feeling slightly dumber but with a powerful, inexplicable craving for gold. For both fans and gold-curious newcomers, it’s a perfect encapsulation of The Yak’s blend of “boys goofing and learning badly”—with just enough insight to keep you coming back.

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Recommendation:
If you missed the episode, listen from [11:00–67:00] for the core gold discussions. Don’t miss Dr. Fuljenz’s segment for actual knowledge, and Spider’s appearance for the quirkiest collecting subplot in Barstool history.

Transcript

[Brandon]

Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Kyle]

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[Stephen J.]

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[Kyle]

You're the number one paparazzi guy.

[Danny]

That's crazy.

[Kyle]

Hey, it's the yak. Welcome in stellbluecoffee.com I'm gonna fix this

[Kate]

once and for all. Do we need like a full reset of where we sit with our mic stands? Okay.

[Kyle]

Stella Blue Coffee read Brandon St. Blue Coffee.

[Kate]

They save dogs. I believe last count we were up to yesterday was 31.

[Brandon]

A lot of dogs.

[Kate]

Was it seven you?

[Kyle]

We're back down to 30. Oh no.

[Kate]

What happens? We actually should do that one person.

[Kyle]

Have it be. Have it be like the stock market.

[Brandon]

Like wake up and you see 29.

[Kyle]

You guys really got to buy some more coffee cuz we're going backwards.

[Brandon]

Somebody adopted a dog, got a car accident on the way home.

[Kate]

It's made with 100%.

[Kyle]

You got a guy out shotgunning, you got to buy some coffee.

[Kate]

It's available in Espresso, Cafe mocha espresso. Sweet cream built for mornings, long days, everything in between. Drinks to all blue. Fuel your day. Help save a pets life. Sellbluecoffee.com hello.

[Kyle]

It's everyone. All right, I'm good. I think I'm good.

[Kate]

All right.

[Kyle]

I've tightened it.

[TJ]

I'm good.

[Kate]

Good. You're good?

[Tommy]

I'm good.

[Danny]

I have a question.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Danny]

What the hell happened after I farted into this microphone?

[Kate]

Right?

[Danny]

We.

[Kate]

We farted and left.

[Danny]

I farted and left, and you guys got existential.

[Kyle]

Do you guys want the cynical. Do you want the. Do you want the view that Kyle and I shared with each other yesterday, or you want, like, the. The nice view of it?

[Kate]

I want both.

[Whitney]

I'd like both.

[Kyle]

All right. The first view of it is that Kyle and I were laughing about yesterday. Is that. And this includes all of us, everyone here, we're just such terrible people. We joke about everything. Nothing is, like, serious. We're awful humans to each other. We're just busting balls and just mean to each other so that when we show just a tiny, tiny, tiny piece of humanity, a shred, people are like, oh, my God, that was incredible.

[Danny]

That was. Yeah.

[Mark]

I would say all you have to

[Danny]

do is say, I love my wife.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I don't even know who this woman is, but she's hot. I'm gonna sign her dm. Oh, yeah. That's how it happens.

[Stephen J.]

You have to have.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Hey, hey.

[Brandon]

I'm the wife guy.

[Kyle]

No, I did not.

[Kate]

You don't know who that is?

[Kyle]

I've been made aware.

[Kate]

Okay. Okay.

[Whitney]

That's the White House press secretary.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I've been made aware.

[TJ]

Imagine if we watch the end of this clip where Liam Blutman says, if that was the best part here, it. Does it count?

[Kyle]

That was the best part. But no, Kyle and I could not fart, and so we got stuck.

[Mark]

Oh, I could.

[Kyle]

Oh, you just wanted to.

[Mark]

If I waited long enough, I'd become the face of matrimony.

[Kyle]

And we would also just become righteous

[Mark]

mascot for all things good.

[Kyle]

We're conservative heroes. We just fixed. We just fixed the baby crisis in America, dude, during fart Eliminator.

[Brandon]

Kyle, you gotta move seats, man.

[Kyle]

No, we had fun.

[Mark]

Just fell into my lap.

[Kyle]

Yeah, no, we had fun. I actually thought the. The, like I. People, I think resonated because we don't get serious ever. And Kyle and I did have fun, like, just talking for 30 minutes while Stephen Che was bent over and Blutman was asking the technicalities of the fart eliminator.

[Kate]

How long did it take you guys?

[Kyle]

I was mind blown. I went 40 minutes.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Did you get one out?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Nice.

[Kyle]

Nice one.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Kate]

So you ended. All that nice talk was just two farts.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark]

The scope of farts. We had some outside people coming in.

[Kyle]

It was cool because Kyle and I don't really talk serious. So we just started. I think my first qu. I think the way we got into it was I just straight up asked him, what's your biggest fear? And then we just went.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

So it was fun and I appreciate the feedback because it is. We. We did hit on it during our talk yesterday of, like, the connection with the fans is the most important. The numbers don't matter. It's the connection. It's people being like, thank you so much for, you know, being part of my life. So we hit on it and then afterwards we were just laughing because we. It was like. Kyle and I think both felt uncomfortable being like, well, fuck, dude. We were just like. We mean to get that serious. Fuck that, dude. That was. That was gay of us. Like, that was lame.

[Mark]

It was.

[Kyle]

That was so lame. Chick. I'm going to hit up that Carolyn chick for sure.

[Brandon]

You're going to have to.

[Mark]

Who's that?

[Whitney]

She's pregnant.

[Kyle]

Pretty.

[Whitney]

Or maybe she's not.

[Tommy]

She's a White House.

[Danny]

She's on maternity leave.

[Kyle]

Well, how do you know?

[Kate]

There's the press secretary. She's very famous.

[Kyle]

I. I am so tapped out of all this.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I didn't even know that there was like a. I guess the. The thing that happened on Saturday. People think it was like a. A hoax for a ballroom. I didn't even know there was a ballroom issue.

[Kate]

You didn't. You didn't know there was an assassination attempt?

[Kyle]

I knew there's assassination attempt, but then people are like, oh, it's just because he wants to get a ballroom. I was like, why do they have a ballroom?

[Brandon]

But did you see the time traveler theory?

[Kyle]

No.

[Brandon]

Oh, okay, listen. I'm seeing that there was a Twitter account that tweeted the attempted Shooter's name in 2020. And his header is from this website called Time Travel eu. And it's a bunch of different colors, but if you stare at it long enough, it looks like Trump when he raised his fist when he got shot in. But.

[Kyle]

Whoa.

[Brandon]

So there's that as well. There's that theory.

[Kyle]

We don't have a ballroom.

[Brandon]

The White House doesn't.

[Kyle]

That was the whole thing. It's like, we don't have a ballroom.

[Brandon]

Who's out of Hilton.

[TJ]

He's trying to build a new ballroom and, like, demolish, like, part of the White House to do it.

[Kyle]

What's the point of being president if you can't build a ballroom? Why does he need approval to build a ballroom?

[Mark]

Who's.

[Brandon]

Yeah, who's he asking?

[Stephen J.]

I think it's gold. Am I off base on that? That's all I know it's made of. It's gold. Well, like, I hope.

[Kyle]

I hope there were some, like, conservative, like, leaders, like thought leaders tuning into this show being like, I think we might have found, like, the next Voice of America. And then they're watching us be like, burn Ballroom.

[Danny]

What is.

[Kyle]

I think it's gold.

[Danny]

What does the press secretary do who

[Mark]

lives in the White House?

[Danny]

She does the press conferences.

[Kate]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny]

And then we're also voice of the administration.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Right.

[Brandon]

We're painting.

[Kyle]

She does the Post game.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

He's the C.J. craig of the whole thing.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Brandon]

We're painting the reflection pool blue.

[Kyle]

So what?

[Whitney]

Wait, so they were painting it like a kind of a tacky swimming pool blue, and then I think everybody was on it. So now they're painting it like a much cooler, like.

[Danny]

Oh, like, like deeper blue. Turquoise. Yeah, Turquoise is cool.

[Kyle]

Again, I don't want Charlotte hornets. Yeah.

[Brandon]

That would be so sick.

[Danny]

Purple.

[Kyle]

I don't want to get into politics. And like, I. I didn't even know who this woman was. I've done a very good job of just shutting that off my brain and people like, oh, privilege, whatever. I don't care. I just. We're not here to talk about politics, but is Trump just, like, doing, like, whatever the he wants in terms of, like, making modifications like, that kind of rocks?

[Kate]

I mean, I. I don't think he's the. I think a lot of presidents have kind.

[Kyle]

I think I would do the same thing.

[Brandon]

You get to, like, thing to the White House, like, how I get elected.

[Kyle]

I would just be like, yeah, I'm emperor now.

[Brandon]

Oh, that'd be cool.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Mark]

I would do a lot with my house.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Renovation, quick Reno. Yeah.

[Brandon]

It's an old house.

[Kyle]

I put a. Put in like an extra deck or something.

[Whitney]

Roof ball.

[Nikki]

A deck.

[Kyle]

Roof ball at the White House.

[Kate]

You put a deck and a grill out there for sure.

[Whitney]

Can you imagine having, like, the commander of the army over to play roofball?

[Brandon]

Oh, my God.

[Whitney]

Sick. All the best. The best minds.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Yesterday got away from us, but I do appreciate all the people who reached out to me and Kyle. Cuz that was cool and blutman asking yeah.

[Whitney]

Did you earn brownie points with your wife? Was she like, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

She was like, this is cool. But then she also was like, you know, do it.

[Mark]

Don't say it.

[Kyle]

Well, no, I mean I do say it to her all the time. So I think I need to stop saying show me. He stopped saying.

[Kate]

You made the rest of us look like a bunch of farting. Yeah, just farting and running.

[Whitney]

Your mic got heavy rotation.

[Danny]

Oh, you're my guy.

[Kyle]

You're gonna get pink eye, dude.

[Whitney]

Became the de facto.

[Kyle]

The best part about that clip, if you can go to the end though, is like how we were. So we were in such a serious talk and then we matter of factly switch to like fart eliminator.

[Kate]

Like rules, officials, logistics.

[Kyle]

Like we. I didn't even. We didn't even blink change in life. But like go, go towards the end. I don't want to listen. That's my teammate.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

It's a special feeling. You should be excited. I didn't know how to break this, but no sound is made.

[Brandon]

Why?

[Kyle]

It doesn't count. Look at us though. We're like, doesn't count, dude.

[Brandon]

That is all always.

[Danny]

This is open's chairman.

[Kyle]

It's the perfect yak clip. It really is.

[Whitney]

Press secretary has Blutman.

[Kyle]

I did get, I did get like people were co opting like, like assigning politics to it. I'm like, dude, I just saying I love my wife. Just relax. This is not about politics. But you know, people immediately will jump

[Mark]

and just be like, yeah, hey, hey, everything's politics.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Serious.

[Mark]

Everything you said, including your wife, loving

[Brandon]

your wife, your wife.

[Kyle]

It's politics.

[Mark]

It's a good political move.

[Kyle]

It's politics.

[Stephen J.]

Can I ask a political money question or not really?

[Kyle]

Great.

[Stephen J.]

So you know, you know how gold is used to measure like the structure? Well, no.

[Kyle]

Is it like me to Caroline Levitt, you to gold. Things we learned about today.

[Danny]

I am.

[Stephen J.]

If you were handed a gold bar and it's worth.

[Kyle]

This guy just found out about the gold interruption.

[Danny]

Just watch like one 10 minute YouTube on gold.

[Kate]

This is your 70, Sam.

[Kyle]

Oh my God.

[Brandon]

This stuff's pretty nice.

[Kyle]

Stop talking about gold, dude.

[Mark]

I can't get into gold.

[Kyle]

Enough about gold, honestly.

[Danny]

Let's do gold.

[Stephen J.]

It's a question for you guys.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Stephen J.]

Guys were handed a gold bar. How quickly could you turn that into money? And how much percent of worth do you think you can get for it?

[Kate]

I wouldn't know what to do.

[Stephen J.]

I wouldn't know what to do either.

[Brandon]

Spider is currently buying a Bunch of gold bars. But he found this company, Spider, these little gold bars. I don't want to. I don't know if I want to. Out.

[Whitney]

He's.

[Brandon]

He's hoarding gold.

[Whitney]

And how does he know it's real?

[Brandon]

He's buying it off ebay, but they're all branded. So, like, he's buying Willy Wonka branded gold bars. We can get him in here. Is he here? Yeah. He's buying spongebob gold off this web website.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And he's, like, collecting all of this gold and he's seeing it just shoot up.

[Mark]

Is this a trend?

[Brandon]

But, like, the weirdest IPS will sell their rights to gold. You'll look at like, he's. He's big on the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory gold right now.

[Danny]

So is this an investment or is this just investing people for collection of, like, the.

[TJ]

But it's saying the price of gold is. Is going up. The price of gold across the board is going up. The price of the novelty item and the trading card industry is also going up.

[Danny]

So he put them together.

[TJ]

This is the combination of.

[Danny]

Got it.

[TJ]

The trading card industry and branding. And also gold's prices rising.

[Brandon]

He has some funny gold.

[TJ]

But I have a great collection.

[Kyle]

We should start doing great.

[Mark]

Collect.

[Kyle]

Like once a month. I would like to just have, like, make a list of the people, the most interesting weird people in this office and just be like, sit down and just tell us what you're doing.

[Brandon]

Spider comes up.

[Kate]

Spider's up to a lot of things.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Stephen J.]

He'll.

[Brandon]

He'll come up to me and just show me a chart on his phone of, like, his net worth skyrocketing.

[Kyle]

But it's over.

[Brandon]

Something so strange every time.

[Kyle]

Tj, we got to start organizing. Stephen, maybe you can start organizing it. Come up with a list, and I'll. I'll tell you who's on and off. And just like, just once a month, like a shark tank. Like, what's going on? What are you doing? I want to know if you're buying spongebob gold. Let me know.

[Brandon]

Spider is blush with spongebob Gold.

[Kate]

Hipster pirate.

[Kyle]

I don't want to miss out on this.

[TJ]

We might be blowing his spot up right now because now people are going to start trying to snipe his.

[Brandon]

But he has enough.

[Danny]

Good. If more demand might be time to sell. Great for him.

[Stephen J.]

Yeah, but how do you resell gold? Like, who's who?

[Kyle]

Well, how do you. The same way Spider's buying gold.

[Stephen J.]

Jeweler.

[TJ]

You can go to jeweler.

[Kyle]

No, but. But of Gold.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Don't.

[Kyle]

Yeah, hold on. Steven, just back up for a second.

[Kate]

How many times.

[Kyle]

Spider is buying gold, but he's. That means there's got to be a seller of gold. That Spider could then be the seller of gold, and another spider would buy his gold.

[Stephen J.]

I understand that, like, you. Yeah, you can list anything on ebay, but if you're looking for a quick cash transaction. How do you sell gold?

[Whitney]

You're saying, could I walk in a western unit and they just, like, a

[Kyle]

bar of gold in the bank.

[Mark]

Can you take it?

[TJ]

They would buy it, and then they would take it to, like, a melter. I can melt it like.

[Mark]

Like, why did you take the Middleman? Melt it myself.

[TJ]

Yeah. Or if you had, like, gold jewelry, you could take it to them, and then you would pay, like, they would take, like, a fee off of it because they're gonna melt it.

[Stephen J.]

Why are we measuring money? This feels like the least liquid item possible.

[Brandon]

The gold standard.

[Kate]

Yeah, well, Nixon took us off of that.

[Kyle]

Isn't it like our. Oh, he did?

[Spider]

Yeah.

[Kate]

That's what.

[Brandon]

Tommy Walker, you really are unplugged.

[Kyle]

Dude, it's great, but do we still. I just. I watch ball and just.

[Brandon]

Is Fort Knox still filled with gold?

[Whitney]

That's what I was about to ask.

[Kate]

There's a theory that it's not.

[Kyle]

What about the cheese place? We still got that.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

What?

[Kate]

Cheese. Missouri.

[Tommy]

The moon.

[Kate]

No, no.

[Kyle]

Yeah, the moon. We have.

[Kate]

We have still have that.

[Kyle]

Fun fact. The cheese place is actually getting away from us a little bit every. Okay. Yeah, you're right.

[Brandon]

The length of a fingernail.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

We gotta catch that cheese.

[Kate]

She retweets us today. There's God knows what.

[Kyle]

I hope she tuned in someone from the White House. Like, we gotta check out what's going on. Why is this guy asking about gold?

[Brandon]

This guy loves gold, but I think he just learned about it.

[Stephen J.]

Spider's gonna zoom in and give us the update.

[Brandon]

Yeah, because I don't. I don't think I did it justice.

[Stephen J.]

He's that soccer right now.

[Whitney]

The TV shows old people watch. The commercials are always trying to get them to buy gold. And how do you know the gold's not being, like, cut with nickel.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

How do you know there's always a celebrity for, like, the seventies selling you gold.

[Kyle]

What age do you start falling for all that? My grandfather, before he died, fell for all that stuff.

[Brandon]

Like, he would commemorative.

[Kyle]

He would, like, write in, like, thinking he was going to win money.

[Brandon]

Spidey.

[Kyle]

Spider.

[Spider]

What's up, guys?

[Kyle]

Hey, what's up with gold. Dude.

[Spider]

I just, it's just been something I've been kind of quietly stacking as a hobby. You know, I think it's cool that there's not only is there like raw gold, which seemingly is the popular thing that people are buying, I personally have been buying something more niche, which is like branded and licensed brands creating gold bullion products, including Coca Cola, Hot Wheels, to name a few. Barbie. I have Barbie piece. I just bought a tune piece to commemorate the new movie. So yeah, just quietly stacking gold. I'm trying to currently get to an ounce of gold and I think I'm about like 20 grams. I think it takes about 20. I think an ounce is like 28 point something grams. So I'm hoping to get about an ounce of all different licensed and branded gold products. And then there's also NASCAR ones. So there's NASCAR ones. I, I.

[Kyle]

What are you gonna do with.

[Spider]

Go ahead.

[Tommy]

Sorry.

[Kyle]

What are you gonna do with it? Where are you gonna put it?

[Spider]

So I'm just quietly stacking. Well, like these ones, for example, like everyone's after trading cards. I've been buying these gold ones and bringing them to the NASCAR race, having my buddies sign them. So now to me, that's cooler than any card anyone has. Now I have the gold bar and the story behind it.

[Kyle]

Oh, no.

[Danny]

Spider, does this itch your collection?

[Spider]

I don't understand what's, what's funny.

[Danny]

Is it it collector brain or your investor brain or

[Spider]

it's, it's simultaneously satisfying both niches.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Spider]

That's why I like it. It's kind of convergence culture. It's everything I love bundled up into one thing.

[Brandon]

It's a lot safer than, I guess, buying a card. It's gold.

[Spider]

Yeah, that's kind of my, that's kind of where my head's at. So it's, it's. And no one else is doing this. You got a zig when people are. Zach.

[Mark]

No one else is doing it.

[Danny]

If no one else is doing it, this can't be. That can't be good, right? If you're the only person that wants this stuff.

[Spider]

Listen, like, like that, that product in, in the photo there, I believe there's either 4 or 5, 000 total of those minted with the NASCAR insignia branding on there, whatever you want to call it under that license. So I'm just gonna slowly buy. Buy them up. Buy them up like shares. And then hopefully one day a couple years down the line in a rainy day, God forbid, if I ever need like a little you know, pocket change this. I will think back to this.

[Brandon]

You'll flip your Willy Wonka Gold.

[Danny]

But you need. You need people to badly want them for it to be worth money. Right? So at some point you gotta, like.

[Spider]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I. I hear. I hear what you're saying. But it to me, there's a fail safe built in. You can always scrap the gold and melt it down and take it out of the asset should it come to that. And at that point, you're essentially selling for, like, spot.

[Danny]

Okay.

[Spider]

Which would be a loss because you are paying a premium.

[Brandon]

Oh, you're paying a licensing.

[Spider]

But in my opinion, people, people look at. Have you guys ever watched, like, American Pickers or a show like that? There's people that spend thousands of dollars on Coca Cola vint signs and all this nonsense. And, you know, this is just the newest iteration, in my opinion.

[Kyle]

I love it.

[Brandon]

What are some. Yeah, it's brilliant. What are some other IP gold bars you have?

[Spider]

I have Barbie, I have Hot Wheels. I have Willy Wonka, I have Coca Cola. SpongeBob Pretty much, I think SpongeBob NASCAR. Yeah. If there's a brand that's making gold products, listen, if you want to get your brand hot, put it on a gold bar. That shit's gonna go. Should we do a yak supreme dropped in one.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Supreme.

[Spider]

Absolutely should. In fact, I. I called Barstool Gold and said, how can we make our own?

[Kyle]

Okay, okay.

[Spider]

Yeah, the supreme one's dropping. Thank you for bringing that up, tj. Good call. Out. That's one I'm in line for right now. I have thoughts. Ready to attack when that goes green.

[Kyle]

I love this.

[Spider]

So, yeah, just playing the market. Alternative investing, that's really the name of the game.

[Brandon]

And you showed me your.

[Spider]

Don't get me wrong, I'm still.

[Brandon]

You show me your app. You're up right now, aren't you?

[Spider]

Yeah, we're up. We're up. We're up. We're humbly up. I don't want the Iris

[Brandon]

humbly up.

[Danny]

You're quietly and humbly up. Very quietly.

[Spider]

And yeah, I have all that gold is. It doesn't exist. It's in a safe spot nowhere nearby.

[Kyle]

Me, I need. I need this to end with, like, you know, 10 years from now, you just like, all of a sudden, spider's like, number 17 on the Forbes top top 100. It's like this. This man has been quietly collecting all the spongebob gold, the second largest gold.

[Brandon]

You need a Saudi prince to fall in love with Hot Wheels. And gold.

[Spider]

Listen, someone's a hot Wheels collector out there somewhere, so all these people in their pocket now.

[Kyle]

I love it. Spider.

[Spider]

My future customers.

[Brandon]

He's one of our most interesting guys.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Mark]

Oh, my God.

[Kate]

All right.

[Kyle]

How's the soccer look?

[Spider]

Having me on, guys?

[Kyle]

Yeah, we're gonna be there soon. How's the soccer? Looks good.

[Spider]

It looks like it's gonna be fun. Yeah, it should be a good time. A lot of these guys are already, like, pooped out, so I'm just trying to conserve energy at this point.

[Kyle]

Let me see the field. Show us the field. Okay.

[Spider]

How do I spin this around? I'm in, like, a backfield now.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Spider]

But I will bring you to the main.

[Stephen J.]

That's cool.

[Spider]

The main area. I stepped in here because it's a little bit quieter.

[Kyle]

I just don't.

[Spider]

I'm hoping it's a nice facility. Oh, I'm probably meant to be in the meeting.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right. That's not that big.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

All right, all right, all right.

[Danny]

We'll be fine.

[Kyle]

That's not running. That's. That's walking.

[Mark]

Well, that means it'll be more aggressive than physical.

[Kyle]

Yeah, but that's walking. Okay. All right. Thank you, Spider. This is gonna be fun.

[Spider]

Thank you, guys. I'll see you later. All right.

[Danny]

All right, Spider.

[Kyle]

Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna release that sometime in a couple months.

[Danny]

I think we have a chance of doing numbies outside of America with this event. Like. Yeah, Getting clipped up and then, like, foreigners.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

This is American soccer. We're gonna get jawed up a lot of jaws.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

It's gonna be.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Fodder for that.

[Brandon]

Brandon, are you jealous of the golden because you've been real quiet brands.

[Mark]

Definitely jealous.

[Kyle]

I'm sure having a bunch of, like, Greg Maddox dolls will be just as.

[Kate]

No, I think. I do think following spiders.

[Kyle]

Wait, wait a second.

[Kate]

What?

[Kyle]

What's on your shirt?

[Brandon]

Hold on,

[Kyle]

hold on.

[Brandon]

I won't break. I won't break.

[Mark]

Try not to laugh.

[Spider]

Challenge.

[Kyle]

Put water in your mouth and look at it. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle]

Is that. Is that Ken Griffey Jr. As a Simpson? Simpson.

[Kate]

From the Simpsons episode Playing card.

[Danny]

Oh, there's so many layers.

[Kyle]

This guy did it again.

[Danny]

It's Ken Griffey Jr. As a Simpson, as a playing card. As a T shirt.

[Kyle]

On a grown ass man on a big ass body. Big body on a huge ass body.

[Brandon]

I've seen that on my TV screen, but never a big ass dude.

[Kate]

36, sure enough.

[Kyle]

Damn.

[Kate]

But yeah, I think Spider can have his gold. Dan. My T shirts.

[Kyle]

Oh man. I love Spider.

[Brandon]

Do. Do you think you up going to Jim and Steve's and just buying things?

[Kate]

Yeah, but I don't collect. I. I don't view it as a financial investment. I view it as a happiness investment. So it's a little different. I got other financial investments. You know I'm just doing that for fun. Funsies fair.

[Stephen J.]

Guess what the. The price is for an ounce of gold.

[Mark]

He's literally just literally every time button about gold.

[Danny]

Every time he says the word gold.

[Kyle]

We're never getting out of gold.

[Brandon]

We're stuck. How much is an ounce of gold, Steve?

[Stephen J.]

$4,500 for an ounce. For an ounce.

[TJ]

Now you're on.

[Brandon]

Gold is value.

[Kate]

This stuff's like gold.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen J.]

No, I. I would have thought that a gold bar is more than an ounce.

[Kate]

It's. I guess to answer your original question if somebody dropped a gold bar out of the ceiling into my lap, I idea what the next step.

[Kyle]

Go to a pawn shop.

[Kate]

Yeah, I'm not going to a pawn shop.

[Brandon]

They're gonna you so many of these stores say we buy gold.

[Mark]

Gold dealer.

[Brandon]

Cash for gold.

[Kyle]

Yeah, cash for gold.

[Kate]

You gotta go to a bank and ask them if you deposit it, what would you do?

[Kyle]

Like that you thought you were an idiot for that?

[Stephen J.]

No, I. No, I just think that's a funny image. Brandon, what do you think?

[Kate]

What should I do with this old humor?

[Danny]

I think there's some stand up material.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Danny]

Have you guys heard about this gold? I think you keep digging here you might value.

[Brandon]

So there's a real precious metal out there.

[Whitney]

Are there still people who make a living? Like there's the California gold rush and whole cities mean that like.

[Kate]

Like prospect rivers are still flowing.

[Whitney]

There's still probably a shit ton of gold.

[Mark]

Like we went to a gold panic

[Whitney]

place in Alaska and like actually do okay.

[Tommy]

I don't think.

[Mark]

I think like there's a lot in Nevada and I think they're dying.

[Kate]

I think they got the bulk of it. Right.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Okay.

[Kate]

I don't know. It's not renewable.

[Kyle]

Does it come from.

[Danny]

What is it?

[Brandon]

What's gold?

[Mark]

What is it?

[Stephen J.]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

Damn it even got me interested in gold. Yeah, but what. How does it. How does it like diamonds? We know like that's pressure over time over like thousands of years.

[Brandon]

Diamonds are coal.

[Danny]

It is. It just. Is it just gold?

[Brandon]

But like can't you trees make oxygen? What makes gold?

[Mark]

Can I say I have no idea.

[Whitney]

There's different kinds of dirts all around the world. Right? And then the layers and layers and the pressure and the different kinds of dirts squished together in pressure makes different kinds of minerals.

[Brandon]

Does gold come from the core of the earth?

[Kate]

We're so stupid.

[Whitney]

Am I right?

[Brandon]

What's gold?

[Whitney]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

Kate says dirt.

[Kyle]

No, no.

[Whitney]

Pressure. Dirt and pressure. But special dirt.

[Mark]

How does it get that?

[Brandon]

But then why have we figured out

[Kate]

how to make it?

[Kyle]

Where do the leprechauns come in?

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Nikki]

It's at the end of the ring.

[Whitney]

Ireland.

[Brandon]

They steal gold.

[Tommy]

Pirates.

[Whitney]

Fake pirates.

[Brandon]

Pirates like gold. Everybody likes.

[Kate]

Stephen. How much would a pot of gold be worth?

[Brandon]

Good Lord.

[Stephen J.]

I'm trying to figure out how they get it into bars.

[Kyle]

That's a.

[Danny]

Feels like we don't have. I don't know. Gold's not even 21 years old.

[Tommy]

Old humor.

[Brandon]

Oh, we're. We're doing a whole episode on you.

[Danny]

You see what I'm saying?

[Mark]

See what Mark just did?

[Danny]

Steve, that could be you.

[Kyle]

That was good.

[Stephen J.]

It's interesting.

[Kyle]

It really is, man. After they get.

[Nikki]

Take a vodka soda bar.

[Kate]

Gold tie.

[Brandon]

Gold walks into a bar.

[Danny]

How did he get.

[Whitney]

How the.

[Danny]

Did he.

[Brandon]

Stop me if you've heard this one,

[Kyle]

Stephen. This is good. Oh, Steven stuff, dude.

[Mark]

Gold.

[Kyle]

Gold. Who knew? Yeah. I hope we got some new audience from yesterday. That'd be so great if you saw this.

[Danny]

There's like, a guy struggling in his marriage.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

All the clip. And he's like, I should watch this show.

[Kyle]

These motivational speakers.

[Mark]

Upstanding men.

[Kate]

Right now these guys have it together.

[Spider]

Oh, man.

[Mark]

I need some tips.

[Brandon]

Some traditional family values.

[Danny]

Bring me closer to my wife.

[Kate]

This is what it's all about.

[Brandon]

What is gold?

[Danny]

What the. Is gold even?

[Kyle]

And we're off.

[Brandon]

And we still don't know.

[Kyle]

Nobody's ever gonna. No. Now we're at the part of the riff where we laugh about.

[Mark]

I like pressure seems right.

[Kyle]

Pressure does seem right.

[Whitney]

Pressure.

[Kate]

But it's not everywhere. It's just in certain.

[Whitney]

Pressure is everywhere.

[Mark]

Why does it get that gold isn't everywhere?

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Why is it.

[Mark]

So how did you find gold?

[Danny]

I thought the point of elements is you don't have to. You don't have to explain where they came from.

[Kyle]

So diamonds aren't enough.

[Danny]

They just started in the.

[Brandon]

No, Diamonds aren't an element.

[Danny]

No diamonds.

[Brandon]

Diamonds are carbon.

[Kyle]

They aren't an element.

[Danny]

No, they're not.

[Whitney]

That's also pressure and dirt.

[Brandon]

But they can make like they can lab grow diamonds now. Can we. We can't make gold.

[Mark]

I don'.

[TJ]

Like pressure turns carbon into diamonds.

[Mark]

Would you just like dig up tin? Yeah.

[TJ]

What if I told you that the explanation has to do with cosmic dust?

[Brandon]

Oh, so gold is alien.

[Mark]

Gold is cosmic.

[Kyle]

Okay. Golden.

[Brandon]

Okay, you were right.

[Kyle]

Cosmic process dust from which the solar system formed. So that's cool.

[Mark]

Like a space suit.

[Kate]

So this is why it's there. Be like a planet just made entirely.

[Kyle]

I think so.

[Brandon]

Isn't there an asteroid out there that's all diamonds?

[Mark]

Maybe our process.

[Kate]

Our process.

[TJ]

How does they turn it into bars?

[Kyle]

Still haven't. And how do they put spongebob?

[Brandon]

What's the R process, Brandon? It's getting a bunch of vaccines.

[Kyle]

Gold man. Stumped us.

[Mark]

Be honest. I want gold.

[Brandon]

I do too.

[Mark]

Yeah, I want the big gold.

[Brandon]

We're gonna have to rob Spider,

[Whitney]

you

[Brandon]

want a big gold bar.

[Kyle]

Asteroid impact, heavy bombardments.

[Brandon]

Why is. What's late Heavy bombardment.

[Whitney]

We got. Dude, so when that one big meteor hit, it's like.

[Kyle]

Yeah, no, you're right.

[Whitney]

For like a million years after that,

[Kyle]

by Ice Age 4, there's a bunch of them. Yeah, that's where I might research that brought the gold. I think so. Yeah.

[Whitney]

Well, I think. No, no, I think because all the gold was like in the molten core and then when that hit, it like rumbled it up.

[Kyle]

No, I think it came from space.

[Brandon]

But are we getting new gold?

[Danny]

It was already here. You're saying the asteroid, it was like. It was like Sonic and his rings. Like you got hit and just.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, some of it was.

[Whitney]

Did get put in, but then it like sunk down. It.

[TJ]

The gold's been in the planet since the beginning.

[Kate]

Oh, they were. They were planetesimals.

[Whitney]

That's what I'm saying. It was in there. It was like in there. And then the meteors hit and like.

[Brandon]

So it was a combo shit up.

[Kyle]

Imagine being a 4 billion year old asteroid and ending up as Spongebob. What a shitty existence.

[Brandon]

You travel through the infinite size of space to become spongebob and spiders apart.

[Mark]

Spiders.

[Kyle]

Oh. Oh, I love is pretty. We're a gold show now.

[Kate]

Gold man.

[Brandon]

Do we have a finite amount though, or is it just.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it sounds like it's a finite amount.

[Stephen J.]

I actually think. I think that's the one thing I know is that's why the price of gold fluctuates, is because there is finite amount and they are finding new gold. But like, I guess that impacts the price somehow.

[Danny]

I don't know what about.

[Kyle]

So you don't know, you just.

[Stephen J.]

I knew, I knew the Headline.

[Kyle]

You flew in confident and then you ended with a question.

[Danny]

They have lab grown.

[Brandon]

They don't do lab grown gold yet. Do we not know what gold is? Does nobody know know it's gold.

[Danny]

It's gold.

[Kyle]

But what color is it?

[Danny]

It's. What's oxygen?

[Kate]

That's oxygen.

[Brandon]

What color is, like, you can make new oxygen, right?

[Danny]

I don't. I don't know that.

[Brandon]

Why can't we make new oxygen?

[Kate]

When do we get new oxygen?

[Mark]

Trees.

[Kyle]

Trees, dude, trees. The Amazon makes it for us making their own. Yeah, we make not creating new oxygen air conditioning.

[TJ]

It's turning carbon dioxide into oxygen.

[Kyle]

That's new oxygen.

[Brandon]

But we can't make new oxygen.

[TJ]

They're like, isn't that.

[Danny]

We take the law of mass, turn it into carbon dioxide, and then trees

[Brandon]

turn the carbon dioxide.

[Kate]

I can't eat a Twix and turn into oxygen.

[Kyle]

You turn into farts.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny]

Fart.

[Whitney]

And then the tree sucks in the fart and turns it into oxygen.

[Kate]

Right.

[Kyle]

So you do methane gases.

[Kate]

So me and the Twix is the foundation of the universe.

[Brandon]

You're saving lives.

[Kyle]

Correct.

[Whitney]

Gold, but also is silver. Then also space rock and tungsten and all that.

[Kyle]

Oh, don't do that.

[Whitney]

But I'm saying, is every shiny metal

[Danny]

silver to a gold shell?

[Brandon]

Oh, big mistake.

[Kyle]

Broke boy over there talking silver.

[Whitney]

Platinum.

[Brandon]

There we go.

[TJ]

See, the price of tungsten, by the way, is way up.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah, Like.

[TJ]

Like Austin's big block is worth, like $20,000 now.

[Kate]

What do you buy?

[TJ]

$4,000.

[Brandon]

Oh, did he buy it for four?

[TJ]

I don't know. Yeah, he's like, up a lot on it.

[Kate]

Damn, that's depressing.

[Whitney]

You gotta start buying minerals, fellas.

[Brandon]

Right?

[TJ]

Octa. Spider.

[Kyle]

Spider.

[TJ]

You could buy his.

[Brandon]

I gotta get his Veruca Salt.

[Kate]

He's gonna have a love,

[Danny]

huh?

[Brandon]

I love learning, but I don't think we learned anything.

[Kyle]

No, we don't.

[Brandon]

Right at the beginning, a lot of

[Danny]

questions got no answers.

[Whitney]

Why rivers? Why is gold hanging out in rivers?

[Brandon]

You keep asking, are they in veins?

[Whitney]

I guess so. I guess the rivers kind of hit the veins sometimes.

[Kyle]

And then it's the epitome of the yak is we find something that we don't know about, then we start to learn a little bit, and then we get intimidated and we just make jokes about it.

[Danny]

The rivers disrupt the earth.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

So they're.

[Danny]

Yeah, the rivers are naturally, like, mixing up the. And then you notice the gold in the rivers for that reason.

[Kate]

Yeah. And then when the waters recede, you can look you can sift.

[Danny]

Yeah, that's what. That's right.

[Whitney]

Is a volcano like out gold?

[Kate]

Sometimes that's lava.

[Whitney]

I know, but the lava is coming from way deep down where the gold is. Does sometimes that come up and then.

[Kate]

That's lava.

[Whitney]

But is melted gold in the lava?

[Kyle]

No, it's lava.

[Kate]

Lava. Okay. That's lava.

[Mark]

It's pure lava.

[Kate]

You're thinking of lava when it's underground.

[Brandon]

It's magma.

[Kate]

Yeah, but.

[Kyle]

And then it becomes lava.

[Whitney]

But isn't there different kinds of shiny metals in that that get melted and

[Brandon]

hey, it's too hot.

[Kate]

You're talking about lava.

[Mark]

Lava.

[Whitney]

Okay.

[Danny]

I don't.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Mark]

Because it gets confused easily.

[Kyle]

She doesn't understand the difference between lava and.

[Whitney]

That's her only access to the middle of the earth is volcanoes.

[Kyle]

Kate goes to. Kate goes to a volcano with a big gold catcher.

[Brandon]

Comes the 49ers. 1949. Everybody went, hey, baby, what are you doing?

[Kyle]

You're going to get burned.

[Mark]

Her purse open trying to catch it.

[Brandon]

We're about to pull up a tab saying she's right.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Is probably a volcan.

[Mark]

That makes sense.

[TJ]

Lava might melt gold. Melting point of gold is 1900 degrees Fahrenheit. Temperature of lava is between 1300 and 2200 degrees Fahrenheit.

[Danny]

Lava.

[TJ]

There was gold in lava. It would probably just turn into liquid. Which is how you would turn into a bar. Steven.

[Whitney]

But then wouldn't it refreeze or whatever? Okay, never mind.

[Mark]

Forget it.

[Kate]

You've used.

[Brandon]

Gold bars are frozen. Hey, we all don't know anything.

[Mark]

So it can. It can be melted into a liquid.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yes.

[Whitney]

And gold. You can like scratch it with your nails. Like soft.

[Kyle]

It's.

[Brandon]

Gold is a soft metal. What I'd want liquid and very bendable.

[TJ]

That's how you turn it into like jewelry. You melt it down and then.

[Mark]

Make sense.

[TJ]

Put in a mold.

[Mark]

Oh, man.

[TJ]

Like a bar would just be one of the mold.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Spider's gold is just a little bit too teeny for me.

[Stephen J.]

So my first thought a couple minutes ago was of the Olympics gold medals. Because that has to be most of our gold, right?

[Brandon]

No, because I don't think they use. They just gold coat it. Right. So the most of our gold.

[Stephen J.]

If what Spider has freckles.

[Kyle]

Has all our gold.

[Stephen J.]

The Olympics is so. This is shocking.

[Brandon]

Michael Phelps is the richest man on Earth.

[Mark]

Michael Phelps has most of the gold on earth.

[Stephen J.]

Olympic gold medals are not pure gold, but they're primary compl. Primarily composed of at least 92 and a half percent silver.

[Brandon]

Gold medals are silver.

[Danny]

Shay, this is. You have. You have a full hour.

[Brandon]

This is a special.

[Danny]

This is unbelievable.

[Kyle]

Incredible. Dude, that's a crazy.

[Stephen J.]

That's a crazy fact.

[Kyle]

This is Raw with Stephen Shay.

[Brandon]

You genuinely have 45 clean minutes. Clean tight minutes on gold.

[Tommy]

Steve.

[Stephen J.]

Oh, man.

[Whitney]

She said does taste like bar.

[TJ]

Volcanoes produce.

[Brandon]

So it's not the volcano.

[Kyle]

The other day we do volcanoes. Oh, no.

[Mark]

Actively produce and release 10 kilogram.

[Kate]

I was hanging out at the volcano the other night.

[Brandon]

Hundreds of thousands mining like I always do.

[Whitney]

Mining, prospecting.

[Kyle]

Oh, that's every.

[Whitney]

I feel like every year some hoity toity bakery is like, here's our sundae that we put gold leaf, real gold leaf on top. Eat it.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Potatoes.

[Whitney]

Yeah. They put gold leaf on it and people just turn it into poopy.

[Brandon]

But it. There's no way we digest it.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Brandon]

You just shut out the gold.

[Kyle]

There's no. That's not real gold.

[Whitney]

I think gold leaf I think is okay.

[TJ]

Gold leaf is like such a microscopic measurement of.

[Kyle]

I don't respect that gold.

[TJ]

Oh, it says it's 1 250,000th of an inch thick.

[Brandon]

Big cat, can you buy us a big gold bar?

[Kyle]

I might have to.

[Whitney]

Can we just eat? Can we have a gold day where we just sit here eating gold or

[Brandon]

just a bar that we hold Run

[Mark]

of the mill gold bar.

[Kyle]

Toss it around, just see what we do with it.

[TJ]

A G O L D draft.

[Kate]

But you said an ounce is. Is 4, $500. What are those bars weigh?

[Danny]

How big of a bar would you picture when you. When you hear gold bar?

[Brandon]

Size of my forearm.

[Whitney]

Forearm kind Like a brick.

[Mark]

Like a brick.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

How much are those things?

[Brandon]

There's no way you could just buy one of those, right?

[Kate]

I don't know.

[Mark]

I want stacks of that.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Like a pound.

[Spider]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

A pound of gold. I don't know. How heavy would that be?

[Kate]

That's more than. Those things are more than a pound, right?

[Brandon]

Well, how heavy is.

[Kyle]

Oh, Lord.

[TJ]

Bruce Willis was carrying like 60k.

[Kyle]

Oh, Lord. So wait, hold on. I got to do a rope. We're so deep. I got to do best fit, best feel. Spring is coming. Which means Roback's azalea collection is back. Your favorite azalea design in several colors. New designs, new products. Secondly, Roback has launched two new products that you all should know about. First, their tailwind sports shirt. Might be the most comfortable. Nice shirt out there. It's made for date night. The perfect combo. Looking casual, but nice and still be comfortable. They also released a Sweater, polo that we're here for. Great stretch fabric, making it very comfortable and breathable. Use the code yak for 20% off your first purchase. That's 20% off all polos, hoodies, sports shirts, and more. Just use code YAK and head over to r h o-b a c k dot com. All right, go.

[Brandon]

Allure Gold has some old tweets.

[Kyle]

Gold was there on January 6th. Oh, no.

[Stephen J.]

So I think what we are thinking of is called a standard Good delivery gold.

[Kyle]

We're not thinking of anything.

[Brandon]

No, that's what. No, big cat.

[Kate]

You were thinking of the standard.

[Stephen J.]

So those weigh roughly 27.4 pounds.

[Brandon]

God damn.

[Kyle]

What?

[Kate]

And they were sleeping.

[Kyle]

Who?

[Kate]

60 grand a pound.

[Kyle]

Got it. Which is how much?

[Danny]

So that's hundreds of thousands of dollars.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Chasing.

[Kyle]

How much is that worth?

[Kate]

Dump trucks full of it.

[Brandon]

Tj, is there any for sale?

[Stephen J.]

Yes, though.

[Danny]

That guy.

[Brandon]

I want that.

[Kyle]

I want that.

[Mark]

I want a few of them.

[Spider]

What?

[Kyle]

How much is that?

[TJ]

Million dollar.

[Brandon]

Somebody meme that when you find the value of gold.

[Danny]

When I found out gold is valuable.

[Stephen J.]

No.

[Danny]

What?

[Mark]

Steve, what's going through your head right now?

[Stephen J.]

That's like almost $2 million.

[Danny]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Like a year.

[Danny]

Is this. I mean, is this like shocking to you that gold is.

[Stephen J.]

Well, no.

[Kyle]

Valuable.

[Stephen J.]

You said that whoever said that Spider was buying gold. I assumed he was buying one of those.

[Danny]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen J.]

Like what Spider had was like.

[Kyle]

Correct. He does not have $2 million to purchase gold.

[Tommy]

He's got.

[Stephen J.]

That's crazy.

[TJ]

Like these grams.

[Stephen J.]

Yes. Okay.

[Brandon]

He's got like, what's the size of.

[TJ]

Got this or less. One grammar. Some of his are less than a grass.

[Stephen J.]

27.4 pounds. And we're talking about like. Yeah, an ounce is worth thousands of dollars.

[Mark]

Yeah,

[Stephen J.]

I thought. I thought like old money rich guys had like rooms of those screws.

[Kate]

You thought they were screws?

[Danny]

Oh, money rich guys. You're thinking of a cartoon duck.

[Brandon]

Who was that one rich guy that would dive off a diving board into those? How'd he make his money?

[Kyle]

Jesus, Tj, check your test.

[Danny]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle]

Oh, man.

[Kate]

Oh, man. Gold, man.

[Kyle]

By the way, the barstool store, your. Your game. Who's the bad guy?

[Brandon]

Right.

[Kyle]

You can buy it now, Nick, you want to talk about who's the bad guy?

[Brandon]

Walmart.com. it's our version of Werewolf. It's a. Anybody can play you. Don't be a barstool fan. Connor Griffin's the narrator, so you don't need to have somebody sitting in. And Che and I tested it for like six months. And it's out now. And check it out out four to ten players.

[Stephen J.]

Very fun. Any game night is really fun.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Walmart.com snag it along with the dozen and supreme debate.

[Mark]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Cool. Oh my God.

[Kate]

Boy.

[Brandon]

I mean can we get like a. Can we book like a prospector?

[Kyle]

Oh my God.

[Whitney]

G ch I can see, you know those rich dudes in like Saudi Arabia who are out in the desert in their fancy cars and they have like the tiger on the hood.

[Spider]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

I can see them like playing cornhole with gold. With gold bars. Like there's some dudes out there who just have those.

[Kyle]

They for sure have going around.

[Mark]

Turkmenistan has a lot because oil is liquid gold.

[Brandon]

That's what they say.

[Kyle]

Say that. They say that a lot.

[Danny]

Yeah, that's right.

[Kyle]

We're gonna zoom in. Scrooge.

[Nikki]

Oh yeah.

[Kyle]

She's got some questions. Fish. So how did you get that swim?

[Brandon]

That would be our biggest guest ever.

[Kyle]

Ever.

[Whitney]

He's not available. We did get Huey, Dewey and Lou.

[Brandon]

Oh great.

[Nikki]

Captain Hook is on the other line.

[Kyle]

Oh, Jay, you're the best.

[Brandon]

That was a great conversation.

[Kate]

It did look fun as hell when tr.

[Danny]

Oh yeah.

[Brandon]

It would have to hurt.

[Kate]

He would break his neck immediately.

[Nikki]

Doesn't do much to wash. That's how

[Brandon]

I want to go.

[Stephen J.]

There's big time variance with how many reports of how many standard delivery gold bars exist in the world. I'm seeing 219,000. I'm seeing 400 to 500,000. And then somebody said 20 to 23 million.

[Kate]

So you just keep circling back to gold every time there's a lull in the conversation.

[Whitney]

But again, how do you prove that you have real gold?

[Brandon]

There's gotta be a way you could test it, right?

[Nikki]

Yeah, that has.

[TJ]

I feel like, I think also like if you had a gold plated coin and you put it in a kiln, melted it at the temperature that gold should melt. Like it would separate from from the nickel, from the palladium or the silver or whatever. Like the metals would separate or they would melt at different temperatures.

[Kate]

Do you have the clip of chase reaction?

[Kyle]

I sweet a picture of it reaction.

[Danny]

Finding out gold is worth a lot of money.

[Kyle]

Tom sent me the picture.

[Brandon]

If this was 2010, that would go crazy of just with the impact font.

[Whitney]

Gold.

[Danny]

Oh man.

[Kyle]

It's good. Jay. You've never been that shocked somehow looks like Deutsch. It's incredible finding out cold.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's how I capture when gold's expensive.

[Kyle]

The face. When you find out gold is worth A lot of money. I think it's gonna go super viral.

[Stephen J.]

I mean, prior to the show, if you had to guess how much one of those would be, I would think a lot. A couple thousand.

[Danny]

I would. I would have known a number, but

[Kyle]

I. I would have said a lot.

[Danny]

No number would have stunned me. No, I couldn't have.

[Kyle]

So it would have been in the middle.

[Danny]

Assumed. It's a lot of money.

[Stephen J.]

Oh, I would have thought like 10 grand.

[Kate]

$1.8 million.

[Kyle]

A lot of money.

[Stephen J.]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

And you should be collecting those, Brandon.

[Kate]

Instead, I'm collecting starting lineups from 1988.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Danny]

Ch. You want to work on some of the utility of gold, like, as your Google and back there.

[Stephen J.]

What does that mean?

[Danny]

Like.

[Mark]

Like what that means.

[Danny]

What. What. What is gold used for other than jewelry?

[Tommy]

Right.

[Danny]

I have no idea what I'm saying.

[Mark]

Getting started.

[Danny]

You're just scratching the surface.

[Brandon]

Is it used in tech?

[TJ]

I think I told you that, like, a lot of things in this room probably have gold in them.

[Stephen J.]

Yep.

[Kyle]

What?

[Brandon]

It's like a good conductor, like wires, A phone charger.

[Kyle]

Hold on a second.

[Brandon]

Surrounded by gold.

[Kyle]

Dj, put a minute on the clock. Not the mummy.

[Brandon]

Not the mummy.

[Kate]

No, no, Just paint.

[Kyle]

Jay, go find us gold.

[Brandon]

Do our cell phones have gold?

[Whitney]

J, go office prospecting. Our cell phones dig around. No, they might.

[Kyle]

They have. What's it called?

[Brandon]

Silver.

[Whitney]

No, copper.

[Kyle]

What's the thing that.

[Kate]

Lithium.

[Danny]

Lithium.

[Kyle]

Lithium batteries. But like Onyx or something.

[Whitney]

Don't a lot of tools have diamonds?

[Kate]

We're so stupid.

[Brandon]

Onyx, we know nothing.

[Kyle]

What Onyx is that a club?

[Kate]

The rap group?

[Mark]

No, microchips.

[Whitney]

Like turquoise. It's a stone.

[Kyle]

Oh, right. What's the thing that they. They have in China that they get. They put in the chip?

[Mark]

Yeah, that's the Taiwan.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Taiwan.

[Kate]

Taiwan.

[Kyle]

Taiwan.

[TJ]

Sriracha.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Lime. A hint of lime. All of our cell phones have a hint of lime.

[Brandon]

A tostito scoop.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, they do. I knew I could taste something when I put my cell phone in my mouth.

[Brandon]

Che, I. I need a purely gold standard.

[Kyle]

I need it so bad.

[Danny]

You could do an hour on this

[Kyle]

and we get you a big gold suit and just have you come out. Stephen J. A tight 45 on gold. An evening with gold brought to you by Stephen J.

[Stephen J.]

We just pretty binged 45.

[Kyle]

We did.

[Mark]

Kind of did it.

[Whitney]

There's gotta be like, a gold.

[Mark]

I need more information.

[Whitney]

A gold like gathering. Maybe we could get you to be there at thiners.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen J.]

Gold is primarily used in jewelry. Roughly 50%.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Stephen J.]

Financial investment.

[Whitney]

Wait, no kidding?

[Kyle]

Through the face this whole time when

[Mark]

gold is used in jewelry like necklaces and chains.

[Kyle]

No way.

[Danny]

Well, yeah.

[Brandon]

What about rings?

[Stephen J.]

That's expected. 40% in bars, coins and ETFs and 10 in industrial applications, which I guess is the wires and all that.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen J.]

Gold is used to coat satellites and spacecraft, so reflect reflect solar heat.

[Danny]

There you go.

[Stephen J.]

Protect instruments from radiation.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Mark]

Are you ready to like, hypothesize about gold?

[Stephen J.]

No.

[Whitney]

How dare you.

[Kyle]

Jesus Christ, Kyle.

[Danny]

That was insane.

[Whitney]

Just ask a man.

[Danny]

We're a few years away from

[Kyle]

God

[Brandon]

damn putting him on the name man.

[Kyle]

Why would you ask him such a personal question? Private dude. Never ask a man if he's ready to hypothesize.

[Mark]

High pride. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Ask a woman her weight. A man if he's ready to hypothesize about.

[Brandon]

Never ask a man that just learned about gold if he wants to talk about gold.

[Kate]

Study in that room though.

[Kyle]

It's further converse about gold.

[Kate]

Did you find some more gold,

[Kyle]

man?

[Danny]

Gold.

[Mark]

All right, we're an hour in.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God. We are.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I think we have a guest to Zion.

[Stephen J.]

Yes, I think they're figuring out.

[Kyle]

Okay. This is Dr. Michael Fulgence, America's gold expert. Hold on.

[Stephen J.]

I think he had Lance. Portrait locker, landscape lock.

[Kyle]

Michael Fulgens, America's gold expert.

[Brandon]

Big get.

[Kyle]

And Josh told me that. Josh is so good. He got him right away. He said that he's got to go right now. He's currently testifying in a court case as the gold expert.

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle]

Okay, we have Michael full. We got Dr. Michael Folgens on. Go ahead. Go pee. Yes.

[Whitney]

Silver behavior.

[Nikki]

Perfect. Time for golden shower. Brandon.

[Tommy]

He does.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Maserati Mike made the impact font. It's perfect.

[Kyle]

Brandon hates us.

[Mark]

Steven, you have questions.

[Kyle]

By the way, I think we're gonna put wet wheel back on. It's a take off final.

[Mark]

Wet.

[Danny]

We're gonna keep.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, just get rid of the word final.

[Kyle]

Yeah, get rid of the word.

[TJ]

It's back on.

[Kyle]

All right, just. Yeah, just get rid of the word final. Hey, Dr. Michael Folgen's now America's gold expert. How are you doing, doctor?

[Kate]

Somebody holding?

[Kyle]

Yeah. How is it moving with no hands? Can you hear us? We can't hear you. Is he in a gold palace?

[Nikki]

Oh, I don't know. I think you're on mute.

[Whitney]

Oh, we can't hear.

[Kyle]

Might be on mute. I like the. I like the look of this guy.

[Brandon]

There we go.

[Whitney]

We got it.

[Brandon]

This is fine.

[Kyle]

Yeah, this is fine. Put that Back in here.

[Brandon]

Good work, teach.

[Kyle]

Oh. Oh.

[Danny]

Okay.

[Kyle]

There we go.

[Whitney]

Perfect.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Danny]

So there we have it.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that answered a lot.

[Danny]

That's.

[Nikki]

Can we.

[Brandon]

We got full gens.

[Kyle]

We got full gens. We just can't get his mic to work.

[Brandon]

So close.

[Mark]

So close.

[Danny]

Keep going.

[Whitney]

I think speaks to gold is not easy to come by.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's a.

[Whitney]

It's.

[Brandon]

That's right. You got to work for it.

[Whitney]

It's kind of a metaphor.

[Kyle]

Michael Folgen. What a kid. He's got to be the goat in the gold industry, right?

[Mark]

He's one of them.

[Whitney]

Yeah. What's a gold expert doing in a court case? Like, what could that be about?

[Kyle]

Testifying.

[Stephen J.]

Have you guys ever been to a, like, buy gold place?

[Kyle]

It'd be great if he was like,

[Brandon]

no, I never had a jeweler.

[Kyle]

If he was at a court. If he was a court.

[Danny]

Jewelry store.

[Kyle]

He was just like. He was sitting in court and they just, like, deliver him on his, like. Nope, that's Squidward.

[Brandon]

Not.

[Nikki]

Testifying against the leprechaun.

[Kyle]

Nope, that's off Brand Barbie University. President of the Universal Coin and Bullion Precious Metals Trading company located in Beaumont, Texas.

[Brandon]

He's met.

[Kyle]

Num. Num. Numis. What is that word? New numismatist. Has his own new mismatist. New.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Okay, we'll have to figure out what that is. An author. What did he write?

[Kyle]

Gold coin guy. And he also wrote about college basketball.

[Brandon]

You gotta hire fulgents.

[Kyle]

Initially a school teacher in prison, then became the committee chairman of Annex, the Grading Authentication Service of the ana. Okay. Coin club. Huh. Wait, wait. He. Including awards? Investment book of the year.

[Mark]

Whoa.

[TJ]

Josh said he also wrote about college basketball for 10 years.

[Danny]

Okay, wait, what?

[TJ]

Right?

[Danny]

Wait, what? What? 10 years? I don't know.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Figure out what 10 years. I might pepper in a couple questions.

[Kate]

We're talking Folgens.

[Whitney]

Call it a gold pipeline.

[Danny]

College basketball writer.

[Kyle]

76. Sucks, Titus.

[Danny]

Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad.

[Kyle]

It's just. They're ruining everything.

[Danny]

Everything. Everything's bad. Everything sucks. We're all going to die.

[Kate]

That's.

[Kyle]

Everything's just getting worse. And they're just. And. And it's. You know what? You know what pisses me off more than anything about it is not even, like, the fact the bubble is going to be screwed. They're going to get shittier teams. It's like more that a bunch of, like, mediocre coaches are going to get to be, like. Went to the tournament.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Like, you, dude. No, you didn't. You were. You were 500 in. In Big Ten play sucks.

[Danny]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what we can do. I don't think there's anything new that just keeps happening.

[Spider]

We just.

[Kate]

Are we.

[Kyle]

This is just where we're at. I see that you also stumbled upon the very triggering topic for the hockey guys.

[Kate]

This is.

[Kyle]

This is a ongoing thing, them not being badass enough. The hockey.

[Danny]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I was loving about.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

Because we've.

[Kyle]

We've triggered Whitney many times by saying, if Connor McDavid's the best in the world, why does he come off the ice?

[Danny]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

He gets so mad about it.

[Danny]

We weren't even talking about, like, I was wasn't. I was triggering them because I'm trying to get there. I have an idea for hockey and I'm trying to get it across.

[Kyle]

The sudden death.

[Danny]

Yeah, yeah. So I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about that, but they're upset. They are upset.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I'm on a text chain with them. And they were like. Like biz was like, name another sport. I think his exact thing was like, name another sport where they go directly into the overtime. And I just. Was like, football, basketball, soccer, all of them. Bowling, pickleball, wiffle ball. And he just got more and more mad.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Literally every single one.

[TJ]

Doctor's back on.

[Kate]

Oh. Oh.

[Kyle]

Yan's actually posted your. Your game logs in this text. That's how you know you got them.

[Brandon]

Wait, Dr. Michael.

[Danny]

What?

[Kyle]

I missed that. Hey, Dr. Michael. How are you?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Hanging in there, guys. Here the word that is triggered, right?

[Kyle]

Yeah, we're. Well, listen, we're. We're. We just became very interested in gold in the last 30 minutes. And now you're on your America's gold expert. What can you tell us about gold?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Well, when Steve Forbes and I collaborated In November of 2023, we thought it might go to $2,600 from 1900. Now it's sitting above 4,500. It was going down a little earlier today, but anyway, it's long term. It's good. Central banks are buying demand out out has out face supply for five years in a row. And you just buy on the dips is what I would say.

[Kyle]

Okay. But also, like, how do we get. Where does gold come from and what is it?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Well, it's my. It. It's basically inert. It's used in rings. It's used in a lot of central banks. Hold it. Since 2500 BC, it's been money and gold is used as an asset that protects value value and so it's mined out of the earth and melted into bullion bars into bullion coins. The US Mint is the largest seller of bullion coins in the world. And you know you gotta be worried about counterfeits. There are a lot online coming from China. About 90% come from China. And so I would say know your dealer. Consumer protection guide for the Attorney General of Texas. I help the FTC and post office. They are. You've got to make sure the dealer if you're going to buy or sell gold is the dealer award winning? Has the dealer got any credentials as far as consulting? What is his expertise? How long in business? What's his rating of the bbb? Know your dealer. Before you buy anything, get information first.

[Whitney]

I want to ask a question but I don't even know how. We have a friend who is buying small grams of gold. Gold stamped with things like Barbie and SpongeBob and NASCAR is. Have you heard of this? I don't even know what to call it.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

That's fine. You can get gold silver with all sorts of stamping on it or colorized or everything. If you want the most gold near spot value, what the gold value is, you just want plain gold. Any of those accessories cost you money in premiums. You're not. You're investing in a collectible that you like not in the value of the gold as much. So be careful. A lot of things on late night TV are gold plated. They're not full gold. Again, know your dealer. Know the dealer's credibility in the industry.

[Brandon]

If we got a gold bar, what do we do with it?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

You go to a reputable professional misfits guild. Let's say that three times. That's like semi quincentennial. Our country's 250th anniversary with new coins coming out all over.

[Kate]

Oh wow.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

But if you say it three times, Beetlejuice might appear so.

[Whitney]

Okay.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Anyway, no, if you get a gold bar refield dealer look up the professional Nispas Guild. Find one of those in your area. You can look at their website and they can get. You should get right around spot value within a percent or two of spot for the. If you have a 1 ounce 10 ounce kilogram bar but find a very reputable dealer. Not a mail in, not a hotel buyer. Hotel buyers pay fractions. Soda mail. Mail order Professional Misfitness Guild World. It's a leading organization of reputable dealers.

[Kate]

Doctor, our most Asian member has a question.

[Tommy]

Hi.

[Stephen J.]

If we just had $1.9 million in our pocket and wanted to buy a standard delivery gold bar. Where would that be?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

You could call me Universal coin and bullion 800-822-4653. You should be gold, but you would pay about 1 to 2% depending on the size and the quantity over spot gold bullion coins like the US Minish use. The American Eagle is the most popular gold bullion coin. Would run you three and a half to 4% over spot per ounce.

[Whitney]

And do you have to drive there to pick it up or do they mail it to you?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

We can ship it to you. Any reputable dealer can ship it. They can send Brinks or armored car to you on your. Your 1.9 million. You got to hang around in your back pocket and. But if it's smaller amount, we just FedEx or Postal Service insurer.

[Stephen J.]

How much gold was lost with Sacajawea coins?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

How much gold? Sacajawea coins do not have gold. They're golden dollars, not gold gold Den.

[Kate]

You made this look like.

[Kyle]

Why would you ask idiots ask about golden grass.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Sacagawea making fun of you guys, you know.

[Kyle]

Yes. Yes. 76 teams. Right.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Can I tell you one others? It's nonsense. They count in their quad ratings a neutral court game in Mississippi State placed one hour from their home field with SEC officials. Yep. And that counts as a neutral quad, not a home quad.

[Kyle]

Thank you.

[Brandon]

How does everybody do at you?

[Kyle]

Thank you.

[Brandon]

What is it about you for 10

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

years and LG Tiger?

[Mark]

Okay.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

I love you guys. You are awesome. Awesome sauce.

[Kyle]

Thank you.

[Mark]

Thank you.

[Kyle]

That's awesome. Yeah. 76 though is terrible. Wouldn't you agree, doctor?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

I. I don't like that at all either. But I do think quad system is totally weighted to the power conferences and doesn't give enough credit for their wins.

[Kyle]

And, and you know what also is about the quad system? There's like. I, I think it happened. I, I'm. I went to Wisconsin this year. We beat Iowa so bad that it became like it went from a quad one win to a quad two win. So you like, like you should beat a team, a good team, but don't beat them so bad that they drop in the quads. How stupid is that?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

It is. I helped Jeff Sain and Jim Van Valkenberg. He did the rpi. The P. Rpi.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

With their ratings. And they both agreed. When I put a table for the sporting news of home away and neutral games, they altered their facts based on the home court advantage. Having your own officials playing at home. Your own officials at home. Is a big advantage. The NCAW can sit consider.

[Kyle]

Yep, great.

[Danny]

This is, this is, this is gold.

[Kyle]

This is gold.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

This is literally gold from gold at all.

[Danny]

But no, no, this is better.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, no, this is better.

[Danny]

It's really good.

[Kyle]

Are we making new? Can we find gold? Is there still.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Are we still not keeping up? Central bank buying and silver, my God. Industrial uses far outstripped demand. I mean the supply for five years and with AI needing silver. With silver used as the best conductivity material for solar panels and other things, I expect silver to trend higher over the next five years.

[Kyle]

Also as a gold guy though, as a gold guy, do you kind of look down on silver though? You're like come on.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

No, I like them both because silver is the entry point for a lot of people who can't afford gold to start with. I mean I was that way in my teenage years when I started collecting.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's a. It's a broke boys gold. How much gold do you have personally?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Personally I have have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of gold.

[Stephen J.]

First.

[Kyle]

Yes you do baller.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

But then in my vault. There we go for my business.

[Kyle]

Wow, love that.

[Stephen J.]

Have we ever thought about as a country putting more gold into Olympic gold medals? It seems like it's a fairly small

[Danny]

percentage country as a country.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

When you put them around your neck, which I have, they're pretty hefty.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Have you ever, have you ever dove off a diving board into your gold?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

No, but I feel like Scrooge McDuck sometimes.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yep.

[Danny]

Let me ask you this doctor. Do you think non conference games should be weighted as strongly as like later in the season conference games? And I asked you that because we're in like the transfer portal era and all these teams are new and a lot of times at the end of the year you're looking at resumes and you say to yourself like this team beat this other team in November, but like in November they weren't the teams that they are now. And I just, I don't. I don't know, I just wanted your thoughts on like they used to wait

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

it that way and really you know, if there was an injury, kind of think of football when the quarterback for Florida State went down and they dropped them way down even though they didn't lose again and it was justified. They weren't the same team. He was a great quarterback. But they should consider how a team finishes. Being a fan of mid majors, it's always frustrated me when mid major do win some games, typically on the road. It doesn't Even though it's a quad one win. Maybe they don't get the same credit as the power conferences build up their ratings. Just loading up on home games.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

One year, Syracuse Indiana did not play a game outside their own arena with their own officials.

[Kyle]

That. That's Duke. Duke does that every year. Duke never plays True road games out of conference.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Bunny ice cream. I prefer Haagen Dazs. I. I don't like Duke. Because they're really funny.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I didn't remember.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

It's a moment on the lips forever. On the hips.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that'. Right. Can you. Who's holding the camera for you? Can we shout them out?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

My tech guy, Jerry.

[Kyle]

Can you turn it around? I just want to say he's doing a great job.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

See you, Jerry. You don't want to see me, man.

[Kyle]

Come on, Jerry. Yeah, you know, Jerry, it's like an eclipse.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

You gotta look, you know, in a mirror like. Like Medusa. With Medusa, you don't want to turn to stone. You got.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Jerry, do you. Do you have a lot of gold?

[Kate]

I have a little bit.

[Kyle]

Fuck yeah, you do, Jerry.

[Brandon]

I have no gold.

[Whitney]

I have no gold. Should we be worried if we have no gold?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

I've got the best gold guide in the industry. Voted six times by our National Literary Guild. Y' all call me, give me an address. I'll send you the best gold guy. Then buy from any reputable PNG dealer. But at least get educated. Let me send you the best gold guys in the industry.

[Kyle]

I would love that. Does he have any spongebob gold?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

No, but I've. I've consoled a kid in my elevator for two hours and we're stuck by talking about spongebob.

[Kyle]

Wait, what? You were in an elevator, stuck for two hours?

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Football game, and I talked spongebob to a four year old and he quit crying. So I got that.

[Kyle]

You can do it all. Oh, all right. All right. Well, well, Doc, thank you so much. We appreciate it. It. Oh, who is that? Jerry. Who is that? Jerry. Wonderful.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

The manager just walked up. Anymore Box up my club sandwich.

[Kyle]

But I said no, no. Yeah, yeah, You're a clean plate guy. All right, well, thank you so much, Doctor. Thank you, Jerry. We appreciate it.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

And from y'. All.

[Kyle]

Yeah, we're gonna do more research and we'll. We'll maybe have you back on.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Call us anytime on that NCAA issue. Fine. Bomb will wait. John Caliperi and Dale Brown all agree with me when I've talked to him recently.

[Kyle]

All right, there we go. Okay. All right. Thank you so much, Doc.

[Danny]

Bye bye.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Brandon]

What a jack of all trades of the idea.

[Kyle]

I'm not gonna lie. Jerry's a star. We might have to hire Jerry.

[Mark]

I want him badly.

[Kyle]

I want we see Jerry again. That guy's got it.

[Danny]

Oh, man.

[Kate]

What the hell?

[Mark]

He just ultra mogged us. Yeah, every category.

[Danny]

Oh, Seamlessly shifting jokes, sports gold.

[Brandon]

Spongebob is a co host.

[Danny]

He's got. We got to have mostly.

[Whitney]

Mostly gold, man.

[Brandon]

Maral.

[Tommy]

Jerry.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, we need Jerry.

[Kyle]

Hey, we need. I know. I took one look at him. I said, I need that guy Jerry.

[Whitney]

And we have a gold guy. Now that's.

[Brandon]

Are any of you guys embarrassed that we don't have gold? I have no gold.

[Kyle]

I need to buy some gold. I'm going to have to get some gold.

[Brandon]

What did he say was the most common one? The American eagle.

[Kyle]

Yeah, the. Yeah, but then you got to pay 3 or 4% markup. I need. We need to get that gold, guys. Yeah, we got to get some gold. We got to get some gold in this studio. Got to like. We've been doing this show for a long time and we've never had a new gold.

[Brandon]

Just a gold bar sitting in the middle would be so sick.

[Mark]

Yeah, I'm like craving it.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Want to eat it? Oh, could we eat the gold? Why do you always want to eat everything, Donnie? We buy a shitload of gold and we eat it.

[Brandon]

That would be cool.

[Mark]

Decent investment.

[Kyle]

That would be really cool.

[Brandon]

But what if you really like it? Just start craving it. Yeah, I'm addicted to eating gold.

[Kyle]

Oh, man.

[Brandon]

It's been an hour.

[Kyle]

And try to go to rehab for my gold eating.

[Kate]

If gold is delicious, that is a problem.

[Kyle]

It's a very big problem. Them.

[Whitney]

Well, when people drink too much colloidal silver, they turn like blue. They turn like silvery blue.

[Brandon]

There was that cult leader that was making everybody drink.

[Whitney]

If we were drinking gold, would we turn gold? Could we become.

[Brandon]

That would be nice gold.

[Whitney]

The only all gold podcast.

[Mark]

I'd like to be gold. Undeniably a gold expert.

[Kyle]

Oh, without a doubt. Bonafide.

[Kate]

And just versed in college basketball.

[Danny]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

He just went right into the quads.

[Danny]

Got takes.

[Stephen J.]

Did he say that he helped craft rpi.

[Kyle]

USA Today? I remember when I first found out about his power ratings and I was like, I. I now have the answer key. Yeah, it wasn't. There he is. Aha. Jerry. This guy. I love him.

[Mark]

He's just his tech guy that follows him around.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Just holds his phone.

[Kate]

Interesting.

[Kyle]

Tells the waiter. No no, no. He's finishing his club.

[Mark]

He's gonna eat it.

[Kyle]

Don't even think about touching that club sandwich.

[Danny]

Never know when someone's gonna want to talk to you about what is gold and what do you think of NCAA tournament expansion all in the same interview. So you gotta have Jerry ready at any.

[Mark]

Jay, you were rendered speechless.

[Stephen J.]

I mean, that was cool. He answered a lot of questions, but. Oh, yeah, the. The Sacajawea coins came to me.

[Kyle]

I thought, yeah, you made us look. So did I.

[Danny]

Was bad. I like it.

[Kyle]

That was so dumb.

[Brandon]

Those were, like, advertised.

[Kyle]

Oh, man. If I could take anything back.

[TJ]

And a gold dollar.

[Brandon]

But there's a difference between golden and

[TJ]

gold and silver dollars. Used to be a dollar's worth of silver.

[Kate]

He thinks we're idiots.

[Danny]

Oh.

[Kyle]

Oh, dude. Fulgence and Jerry are sitting in a car right now being like, he really asked about the sex.

[Kate]

Oh, no. They're still sitting there eating that club.

[Brandon]

He's still picking up.

[Kyle]

What was that guy talking about with sackage away? Yeah, those guys are really smart. Except the sack guy.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

What was his. Dude.

[Stephen J.]

There was a time problem in New York where if you bought a train ticket with cash at a. An NJ Transit machine or an LR

[Kate]

machine, I don't know where they would own this.

[Kyle]

It would.

[Stephen J.]

It would give you your change in only sacrament dollars.

[Kyle]

So then it was definitely not gold.

[Stephen J.]

I mean, it was worth money.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's a dollar. It's a dollar, dude. It's literally in the name.

[Stephen J.]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

The coin was worth money, though.

[Danny]

Dollar bills.

[Kyle]

A quarter is worth. How much gold is in a quarter? 25 cents.

[Danny]

All right.

[Stephen J.]

I like learning stuff.

[Kyle]

Yeah. No, that was fun. That was great.

[Danny]

I do, too. But here's the thing. What did we.

[Kyle]

Nothing. Absolutely nothing learned.

[Kate]

I've retained nothing.

[Danny]

What did we.

[Kyle]

We. The only thing we learned was we want gold. We don't know why, but we want it.

[Danny]

Yes.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Bad.

[Kate]

Well, we do know why it's.

[Brandon]

It's valuable, but it's almost like human instinct. Since the dawn of time, we've wanted it.

[Kyle]

Yeah. We just never knew until this very moment.

[Brandon]

Took us a while.

[Danny]

Sparkly, shiny.

[Whitney]

Why do we like shiny stuff so much?

[Danny]

Just now we're wired monkeys.

[Nikki]

That.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Seriously. The shiny toy.

[Kyle]

No different than a barracuda.

[Whitney]

I think crows collect shiny stuff.

[Kate]

They do?

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

They do.

[Kate]

Fish like shiny.

[Brandon]

Did you guys watch Chef Donnie's video yesterday?

[Danny]

I did.

[Brandon]

Very.

[Danny]

I'll talk about it because he's not here.

[Brandon]

Very good.

[Danny]

It was very good. I don't Want him to hear you

[Kate]

were saying off the air that you thought it was phenomenal. And he's. He's very talented at what he does, but.

[Danny]

Yeah, yeah, don't let him hear. Oh, no. We're actually. We're actually in peacetime right now, and it's a little weird. Weird. I do see him in the halls, and it's. It's. Yeah, it's. We're in a good spot, but there's

[Kate]

still ice in his glare.

[Danny]

Yeah. Yeah, it can bubble.

[Kate]

It's.

[Danny]

It's like a. It's like a volcano can erupt before gold at any. We just. Just sitting there waiting to. We're a dormant volcano.

[Kate]

Right. Gold all over you.

[Danny]

Yeah, but that was very funny. I like that. Billy. Billy Sushi.

[Brandon]

He's the man.

[Danny]

Perfect last name for that guy, too.

[Brandon]

Billy Sushi. Yeah.

[Stephen J.]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That is nice.

[Danny]

Worked out well for him. Yeah.

[Kate]

Do you get it now, Kate, that it was lava the whole time?

[Whitney]

But the.

[Danny]

There was gold in there, though.

[Whitney]

It's like a mineral soup.

[Brandon]

Obsidian's lava. Right.

[Kate]

Give me this.

[Whitney]

Yes.

[Kate]

Aura frames is a solid upgrade from the usual Mother's Day flowers. You've gone Mother's Day shopping yet?

[Brandon]

Not yet.

[Whitney]

I did a bitchy post on my Instagram the other day saying, fellas, get for real without it being an ad. Get the aura fragrance frame and then take pictures of your lady.

[Kate]

Okay, well, here's.

[Whitney]

And put it on the aura frame.

[Nikki]

Kate, we're in the middle of an ad.

[Kate]

Thing is, it is an ad.

[Whitney]

I know, but I'm saying it is perfect. The perfect gift.

[Kate]

But you did it outside of an ad.

[Whitney]

I did it outside. I said take candid photos of your baby mom with the babies throughout the year. Then on Mother's Day, she wakes up. Or a frame filled with pictures of her with the kids.

[Kate]

You can add as many photos and videos as you want to an aura frame. You keep adding from anywhere, anytime means you can send your mom an aura frame. And if she's in Pennsylvania and you can just upload the photo, you send the photos right to the frame. Keep adding from anywhere at any time. Add a message before it arrives. Every frame comes packaged as a premium gift box with no price tag. Download the free Aura app or text photos straight from your frame. Straight to your frame. Make Mother's Day special with Aura Frames. Name number one by wirecutter. You can save on the gifts. Mom loves Mom's love by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $25 off their best selling Carver Matte Frame with code YACK. That's a U R A frames.com promo code YAK Y A K. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Once again, exclusive. $25 off the Carver mat frame at auraframes.com yak.

[Whitney]

I love mine.

[Brandon]

Great gift.

[Whitney]

And I did get one for my parents. And it is perfect because I upload the photos for them. Them, they're not good with technology.

[Kate]

Got like nine of them. They're the best strewn about the house. Yeah, they're really good.

[Whitney]

My kids watch it like it's a TV show. Which is fun. Big fan.

[Nikki]

Does Pat have to approve of the pictures of you before uploading them to or frame?

[Whitney]

Like, do I have to approve them?

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

No, but you can tell by watching it go which ones he put on and which ones I put on, so. But it's fun.

[Kate]

You're suggesting his are the better ones or his are the worst ones?

[Nikki]

Worse.

[Whitney]

His are like.

[Kate]

Everybody's like, oh, okay.

[Nikki]

All right.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah. You take great care with your pictures.

[Whitney]

I do.

[Nikki]

Every girl does.

[Whitney]

Yes. But no. I. I love him. Is he buying gold?

[Kate]

He might be buying gold.

[Whitney]

Probably buying gold behind.

[Kate]

If he came back in, like, a fully gold suit.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Just with a bar.

[Whitney]

He better not buy gold behind our backs.

[Danny]

Gold guy.

[Whitney]

That much.

[Kate]

Well, the rules of the yak state he has to use his money for our gain.

[Whitney]

Yes.

[Kate]

He can't use it for his own personal enjoyment or satisfaction. Remember when I smoked Danny in that office quiz yesterday?

[Brandon]

Oh, God, you did. Danny. Barely above half 72 to 54.

[Danny]

Danny, where do we go from here?

[Kate]

Like, he wouldn't even gotta.

[Nikki]

I. I tweeted today that maybe I was never a Die Hard fan. Maybe I was just a fan. Dying hard.

[Brandon]

What a realization. Profound.

[Nikki]

Brandon's picture over mine when Steve crawled behind me. Now, Brandon, now that's my chance to adopt a new show. Yeah, you just. You just retain TV information. Information better than me.

[Brandon]

That's.

[Nikki]

I need a recap every time you.

[Mark]

And you say you liked it more.

[Nikki]

Yeah, but correct.

[Kate]

You say you need to be in a re. Watch. I'm just in a constant state of rewatch. I'm never not rewatching.

[Brandon]

He watches and enjoys. You watch so you can get trivia.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

You're taking notes.

[Kate]

No, I watch just because, like, I breathe. Just has to happen.

[Nikki]

You just have one TV with the Office always replaying.

[Kate]

If you have TV or still cable or YouTube TV, there's a good chance Office is playing. Yes, there's like five marathons a day

[Kyle]

like that in Castaway and Family Guy Green.

[Kate]

There's eight Family Guy marathons a day on. On regular cable tv.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I'm not complaining.

[Kate]

Well, it's good. I enjoy it. I'll land there a lot.

[Kyle]

Can we. Can we talk about Whitney? I. I saw him laughing. That was the worst. Like, that was the worst thing I've ever seen.

[Kate]

That was so bad across all genres of things.

[Whitney]

He was fully aware. He was fully aware he was on camera.

[Mark]

He's left hard to use.

[Kyle]

I. He said that he. It would spill if he went full north to south. But then I think it's also like, he doesn't know how to pump up the crowd and drink at the same time. Because look at his left arm.

[Kate]

He, like, lost his right arm. Was wanting to pump up, too.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

It's almost like he kept thinking the camera was gonna go off him, so he kept, like, stopping.

[Kyle]

It's tough.

[Danny]

It's really tough stuff, so.

[Kyle]

Funny stuff. We got to get some of those sabers and try it out.

[TJ]

It seems like they might be really hard to drink out of, but this is another video of another.

[Kyle]

Yeah, but look at the guy on the left. Oh, yes. Guy on the right. Bad guy in the left. Great.

[Brandon]

He got disappointed while it was still pouring on him.

[Nikki]

And you.

[Kyle]

You just risked the spill every time.

[Nikki]

It's better than that.

[Kate]

But the spill is better than. Than what happened.

[Nikki]

That's what I'm saying.

[Stephen J.]

Pain.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

I'd rather spill.

[Brandon]

How is that tough to drink out of? That's just a long cup.

[Mark]

I don't get it.

[Kyle]

I don't either.

[Mark]

What's going on with that device?

[Kyle]

It dummied him.

[Kate]

Have a square mouth, like.

[Kyle]

Absolutely.

[Mark]

He wanted to raise the roof with his other hand.

[Kyle]

He just couldn't get.

[Whitney]

Trying to give a blow job on

[Kyle]

a Carnival cruise ship turns into a wave pool.

[Mark]

Looks like he was trying to keep it even.

[Kyle]

Oh, man, he's so funny.

[Danny]

But, yeah, you triggered the group chat's popping off.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I hear.

[Whitney]

Has he released a statement or anything?

[Kate]

You were just trying to give him your idea.

[Danny]

Yeah, I'm. I'm. I'm on their side.

[Whitney]

What's your idea?

[Danny]

Like they're missing.

[Kyle]

Let's see what you.

[Danny]

I think hockey. Hockey. When. When regulation ends, you shouldn't wait for overtime. You should just play it right away.

[Kyle]

Titus couldn't get more than 2.3 minutes per game. What the is he talking about? He got to break the entire game in fucking college.

[Kate]

This is about fandom. And watching a game.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And that's, that's a low blow.

[Mark]

What is the, Is it like a break? What is the break?

[Danny]

That's my whole, that was my whole brand for 20 years. It's no like you're watching a hot. So I, I, I'm not. I was coming at it from a place of like, I don't watch hockey in the regular season, but I love playoff hockey. The hockey games are so intense. And I'm a basketball guy, but I oftentimes find myself watching hockey or basketball because it's so intense sense. And you're in these, you're watching these Thai games and it's kind of the third period and there's three minutes left and both teams are trying to get the game winning goal. And you're on the edge of your seat and your butthole's tight and you just can't believe the tension. And then the horn sounds and they say, join us in 20 minutes when we resume this.

[Mark]

Like a full blown.

[Danny]

Yeah. As a guy who's like, why? Like a casual fan, I'm like, we gotta go. I'm in it now.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

And then oftentimes I'll like, you know, I'll be tired and I'll fall asleep or I'll move on.

[Mark]

20 minutes is a lot.

[Kate]

As I did last night.

[Danny]

Yeah, yeah. That Brian Walker.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Fell asleep.

[Kate]

I was intently watching the game and fell asleep right before the last call.

[Danny]

So I asked Blutman the best way to get this idea to the Chiclets boys, and I said, would they respond well if I. Because I know that, like, Whit likes to call the basketball guys. I was like, if I kind of went that avenue, would that get their attention? And then Blutman, I guess, gave me bad advice.

[Mark]

Oh, no.

[Danny]

And now they're, now I feel like they're taking their eye off the ball. They're not focusing on, on, on the idea of Brandon.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Anyway, is it possible, and I'm just throwing this out there, that Blutman is all sunshine and roses when talking to us? And then as he was texting, he said, this piece of Mark Titus. I am on this piece of Mark Titus.

[Nikki]

He had Dante in his ear.

[Kate]

Yeah, I chugging pussies.

[Kyle]

I don't think he did.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Okay. I just said, is it possible? Because I would do that if I were him.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

If I were in a group chat with a podcast that wasn't based here, I would talk shit about y' all all the time. Me and Brie do it. Whose throat made that? Was It.

[Nikki]

A burp, Kyle.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Danny]

Yeah, we had a tough look. But Kyle, what happened yesterday was also a. It was tough as to see your hero. Wait, and that was tough for.

[Kyle]

For.

[Danny]

For a guy like me. That was tough.

[Kyle]

Tough.

[Danny]

Like a lot of people that are Whitney fans saw the. The chug and they were like, that's tough. But for me, as a KB guy, yesterday was what? You got all the birthdays wrong.

[Kate]

Oh, he did the birthday.

[Kyle]

All of them.

[Kate]

All four of those birthdays are today.

[Tommy]

Damn.

[Mark]

I couldn't tell you how that happened.

[Kyle]

Yeah, let's just run it back.

[Kate]

So. But run it back. That spirited discussion.

[Brandon]

Well, who were yesterday's birthdays you want to do? Who knows today?

[Mark]

We might as well.

[Stephen J.]

It's.

[Mark]

It's. How did I do that?

[Kate]

Willie Nelson, Jerry Seinfeld, Dale Earnhardt, Daniel Day Lewis, all today.

[Brandon]

Tommy smokes.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

And that doesn't happen. That's never happened.

[Mark]

Did it switch?

[Nikki]

Did you type in today's birthdays or the. The day?

[Mark]

Danny, I'm seeing a gun to my head. I don't know what happened.

[Kyle]

Tommy actually pisses me off.

[Kate]

What could have happened when he does this little.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it actually makes me mad. I actually get. I don't know. I don't know because. Because he. Cuz it is hard of hearts. He wants people to.

[Kate]

Of course. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Get Tommy. Zoom in.

[Brandon]

That's what he wants.

[Kate]

Right now you're giving.

[Kyle]

No, we're not even. We're not even going to talk to him. How would we not keep my birthday a secret this year? So nobody even knows when it is. I know usually make a big stink of it, but I don't even want to acknowledge turning 30 because that'll feel too real. So don't expect to see any tweets from me about it.

[Kate]

Today,

[Brandon]

Tommy smokes 30.

[Mark]

Actually, he's right.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

That's.

[Kate]

I think zooming him in.

[Kyle]

Now. What if we zoom in and we don't talk to him?

[Kate]

We don't even mention him.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

Say like, what are you doing?

[Kate]

Put him in the corner.

[Kyle]

Yeah, Yeah. I should be like, what are you doing? Yeah, keep his mic on so he can talk. And she's like, what the. Yeah, that's the plan.

[Mark]

Or should we build him up to help our reputation?

[Kate]

We're probably gonna have to ask him about gold.

[Whitney]

Who do you. Somebody in this company's gotta have gold. Besides fighter.

[Kate]

No, not back to gold.

[Kyle]

I. Stephen, what's up with you? And you're. You're selectively choosing when you like the paparazzi. We Were talking about that before. Oh, no.

[Stephen J.]

I just thought what they did to. For like. I think paparazzi are fine. I think if you just give them a question, like, or pose for them or whatever they're looking for, like, they should go away and respect your privacy. I thought the video of TMZ falling around Frable in an airport for like two minutes and just bombarding him with questions is disgusting.

[Kate]

I want you to say the sentence you said to start that conversation.

[Mark]

Oh, this is about Vrabel.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen J.]

I. I started to feel bad for Mike Vral because if you watch that.

[Kyle]

Is that horrible?

[Stephen J.]

There's a guy standing two feet away from him, just videoing him and, you know, asking.

[Kyle]

It was uncomfortable, I'll give you that. The Spotify playlist was also very uncomfortable.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Why did she have Last Resort by Papa Roach on?

[Kyle]

It was.

[Brandon]

That's one of the better songs.

[Kate]

But that's not the spirit of what she was trying to tell him.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate]

She was trying to turn him around and get positive and she's like, cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort.

[Whitney]

I thought it was for him as he worked out to be thinking about. I thought it was almost like a weird gym.

[Kate]

Cuff it. Big energy, Breaking my soul. House party.

[Kyle]

And she sent this four game losing streak.

[Kate]

Don't these look like Kentucky Derby names?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kate]

God of Thunder.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Photograph Renegade. Renegade's great song.

[Kate]

I'd bet on House Party.

[Nikki]

Renegade. The jig is up.

[Kyle]

The jig is up. They just left clues everywhere. Yeah, Almost so many, it's insane.

[Brandon]

What's that called? Duper's Delight. When you're getting off on fetish right

[Whitney]

in front of people.

[Kyle]

Oh, is that a thing?

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Mark]

It is.

[Kyle]

It's like an arsonist watching their house. The house.

[Brandon]

It's like leaving a calling card.

[Kate]

The Wet Bandits.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Good time for Bathroom Bandits was more the Wet Band. Sticky Bandits.

[Brandon]

What were they most.

[Danny]

I can't believe.

[Kate]

But there were no. They came to fame as the West Wet Bandits, though.

[Brandon]

But like, don't you want to be known for your most recent work?

[Kate]

No, I think their. Their first thing. The first thing they ever did was Wet Bandits. And that's how the Wet Bandits.

[Kyle]

The Wet.

[Tommy]

I think I. I understand what's happening here.

[Kate]

The Wet Bandit.

[Whitney]

Brandon, you think they stole a lot of.

[Tommy]

Keep me in silent in the bottom of the screen and not acknowledge.

[Kate]

They might have. They tried. They probably tried.

[Tommy]

Is that what's happening here?

[Kyle]

Did you guys see the. The headline of who used to The Home Alone House.

[Whitney]

Oh, yes.

[Kate]

What do you do?

[Kyle]

I. Can you find it, tj? It was. It was a roller coaster of a. It's also like, that house is so.

[Spider]

I'm definitely.

[Kyle]

That house is so famous that that's what's listed in your, like, death.

[Kate]

You had the Home Alone. Yeah.

[Kyle]

That you owned it at one point.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Tj, Is Tommy through yet?

[Tommy]

I'm on. I'm on. I could see myself on the YouTube.

[Danny]

He was the guy who owned it. Like. Like. What do you mean owned? Like, the guy, like.

[Kyle]

All right, I'll read you that building. Like the headline was. All right, here it is. Former owner of Home Alone House found dead in Chicago.

[Tommy]

Alphabetical order to. Which me. Happy birthday.

[Kyle]

We could play after child sexual abuse material. Oh, no. Oh, no. It. Tommy, come back.

[Brandon]

Another episode.

[Kyle]

Tommy, come back. Hey, there he is. Hey, man.

[Brandon]

You want to just tell you how much we love you here?

[Kate]

Come here. Come on.

[Brandon]

Let's compliment the boy.

[Kyle]

Tommy, we wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Please come back. How you doing?

[Tommy]

It's happy birthday. It's worth it.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Look at this.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Mark]

30th.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Yeah.

[Stephen J.]

The big three up.

[Kate]

Thank you, guys.

[Kyle]

This is so perfect.

[Brandon]

I love this.

[Kyle]

Let's find another heinous thing.

[Brandon]

Tommy, how are you? How are you adapting? Have you swallowed the pill that is 30 years old?

[Tommy]

No. No. I'm trying to put it off and spiraling a little bit, but I have till 1004pm tonight till I turn 30, so I'm basically still teenager. I'm basically still in college.

[Kyle]

Oh, you're doing that. What, when you actually were born?

[Tommy]

Well, just for this year. Just for this year. Because I'm trying to put it off as long as possible.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

Well, you've said 27 until, like, today.

[Tommy]

I bought.

[Brandon]

You've always said you were like, 27.

[Tommy]

I've said 26. Yeah. So I'm just gonna. Yeah, I think. I think 35.

[Mark]

Whatever.

[Tommy]

I'll probably. I'll probably still keep lying in some degree. Did everyone get a happy birthday in Kate Titus?

[Danny]

Did we. Is it, in fact your birthday today?

[Tommy]

How did you know?

[Whitney]

Oh, well, it's not 10:36 yet.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Jump the gun.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Is that Eastern time?

[Tommy]

Eastern Time? P.m. yeah, Eastern Stand. Or I guess Eastern Daylight Time.

[Kate]

Do I need to wait till 10:04 my time to wish you happy or just.

[Kyle]

No.

[Tommy]

So it would be 9:04 York time.

[Danny]

I don't. I don't want to be. Really, because that's. That just comes across as desperate. A little bit. I'll go, I'll go to go first.

[Whitney]

I'm waiting till 9. O4.

[Tommy]

Oh, Danny's back. Danny. Everyone wish me happy birthday while you were in the bathroom.

[Kate]

Well, that's not true, Danny. We really.

[Nikki]

I'm more of a, I'm more of a happy belated birthday guy. I don't want it to get lost in the shuffle on the actual day.

[Kate]

I actually don't hate that Danny had cancer or something.

[Mark]

What city, what city were you born in?

[Tommy]

I just mini old.

[Kyle]

I just wish you happy birthday on Twitter.

[Tommy]

Wow.

[Kyle]

Does that count?

[Tommy]

I'm gonna, I, I'm gonna take a wild guess. That's the screenshot calling me a sex offender.

[Kyle]

Dead sexy. There he is.

[Brandon]

Look how happy. He must have really loved kids to

[Tommy]

make him that happy.

[Danny]

What is this?

[Tommy]

I mean, it would have been cool to own the home alone house.

[Mark]

Silver lining.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah, sort of. Sort of.

[Kyle]

Kind of jealous of that guy, would you say?

[Tommy]

A little. A bit of a coaster of a life?

[Kate]

I would say.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Are you doing anything? Any big special plans tonight?

[Tommy]

I'm going to dinner with my parents and then I'll celebrate with friends this weekend. And I did just spend a week in Vegas, so.

[Kyle]

Yeah, but you didn't.

[Tommy]

I mean, there's so, like. Honestly, ever Since I've turned 30, I've realized that there's so much more to life than, like, that.

[Kate]

You're not 30.

[Kyle]

You weren't 30. You're not 30 yet. And you weren't 30 last week. Yeah,

[Nikki]

yeah, it was, it had to be tough trying to convince him to sleep in the bathroom.

[Tommy]

That didn't help at all. The door got open the last night too, otherwise. And I, I did make everyone guess my age, so. People used to. When I was in the great country of El Salvadore, last year, I made one of the tour guides guess my age and he said 22. And I've been clinging on to that for a year.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

For a year.

[Tommy]

But now people, when I ask girls, they say like, oh, you look about 28, 29, which I guess is good, but it's kind of spot on. So it's, it's not as good as. It doesn't feel as good as the

[Kate]

guy literally were 29 when they said it.

[Tommy]

Yeah, exactly. So I was like, all right, I guess.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Thanks.

[Tommy]

Maybe you're right by a year.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Any who.

[Tommy]

Do you guys want to play a quick round of CT before I go?

[Brandon]

Compliment Tommy? No, thanks.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Tommy]

Everyone sort of goes in a circle and I, I, I Award a point to who gives me the best comment.

[Brandon]

We actually did that before you. We did that already.

[Tommy]

The first of 50 wins. Tough game.

[Whitney]

It's brutal.

[Mark]

First to 50.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I'll give you a comment. I think it's actually admirable that you pathetically beg to go on surviving all the time. And Jeff Probst is like, no, we're not gonna let this guy on, even though you do have some clout now and it would make sense for them to put you on. But you adamantly are like, I'm just gonna be a pathetic and just continue to beg to do this.

[Tommy]

Let me say no one swallows their pride and begs quite like Tommy. I did see Jeff, though, at a Survivor event recently. I was at it. Well, I don't know. Whatever. I was in the process a little bit this time. I talked to him, and I was like, hey, what the hell? Why didn't I get on? And he said. He said, tommy, you got to trust us. Like, everyone's time comes, like, so it made me think that, like, they're. They're waiting for the perfect season for me. Yep. So that.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Tommy]

That I would consider not that good of a compliment for CT.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Mark]

Okay. So first of 50.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Mark]

Wow. You were probably an easy birth.

[Tommy]

I.

[Mark]

Wet and bald.

[Tommy]

I think it was a C section.

[Mark]

You're probably so wet.

[Tommy]

I had a lot of hair. I had a lot of hair out there.

[Mark]

Really?

[Danny]

Really.

[Whitney]

I admire that you're always trying to. Trying to get girls that you don't quit.

[Tommy]

Yeah, I mean, you know, it's. It's not like a pathetic way.

[Whitney]

It's just like, you know, you always trying.

[Kyle]

All right, you guys want to picture

[Tommy]

me as a baby?

[Nikki]

Is there a timer?

[Tommy]

Yes, a timer.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

On ct.

[Nikki]

Brandon, you can go.

[Danny]

All right.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Kate]

The next time we speak, we'll be a. We'll be a combination compliment.

[Kyle]

Can't wait to see this picture of a baby. Let me guess. You're gonna look like a baby.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Danny]

I thought you wanted.

[Tommy]

I thought everyone was really excited to see this.

[Danny]

Pull up the folder.

[Tommy]

Oh, my God.

[Danny]

Pulled up the folder.

[Kyle]

Look at all that hair.

[Whitney]

That's a baby, and that is a cute baby. Oh, I'll say it.

[Kyle]

That could be the baby.

[Tommy]

A lot of hair. All right, so Kate, so far, would be in the lead. Santa's a cute baby.

[Kyle]

Oh, God, I wish we.

[Nikki]

I wish I knew we were playing.

[Brandon]

Tommy, I love how much you enjoy various things.

[Tommy]

All right. Not bad. Not quite specific, but yeah. So right now, Kate. Kate's got One, but tight. Race to 50, Tommy.

[Kate]

I believe that shirt is green.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

You would believe.

[Tommy]

Yeah, It's a dark. It's more of an olive, but that is great. Great eye. Brings out my eyes.

[Mark]

You'd be easy to save, I think, from like a. Like a tragedy. Like. Oh, you'd be easy to.

[Brandon]

You're also a sketch artist dream.

[Tommy]

All right, everyone. Everyone getting on the board.

[Kyle]

You kind of look like a Muppet. Oh, okay.

[Tommy]

That.

[Brandon]

That's a celeb.

[Tommy]

Sexy Muppet.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Sure.

[Whitney]

I can't see you draped in hands on arms. You know, like what you're saying.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Kate pulling away.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Are you still wearing that really long necklace? I love how long that necklace.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God. That's gold. What the heck?

[Brandon]

Is that gold?

[Nikki]

Is that real gold, Tommy?

[Tommy]

I don't know. It might. I don't know if it's. I mean, it's gold. I don't know if it's real gold.

[Whitney]

It's a long necklace.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's one of it. Yeah. He's got the longest in the office.

[Kyle]

Tommy, do you live by yourself now?

[Tommy]

I do, yeah.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Nikki]

Wow.

[Tommy]

Big step.

[Mark]

What was that?

[Kyle]

So you could die in your sleep and no one would know for a long time.

[Tommy]

And I think about that often. I thought about a long time in the shower last night.

[Whitney]

Necklace.

[Kyle]

If you have a medical emergency, no one will. Like, you choke on a piece of something, no one's there to save you.

[Tommy]

Well, I. So, yeah, that is an issue. And I have taken myself to the emergency room because I don't have a roommate to talk me down anymore. And Chat GBT told me I should go.

[Kyle]

For what?

[Tommy]

When? When? During the Yankee stream last October. Judge hit that big home run and Hubs elbowed me in the head a little bit.

[TJ]

Bit.

[Tommy]

And I convinced myself that I had a concussion. And I sent Chat GBT a picture of my pupils, and they said that they looked a little bit small. So then I took an Uber to the emergency room.

[Kyle]

And what did they say?

[Tommy]

They said that I was fine.

[Brandon]

Can we see a clip of the elbowing?

[Tommy]

I'll try to find it. TJ was. It was Judge's home run, like Game 3 against the Blue Jays.

[Danny]

Sift through the baby pictures.

[Kyle]

All right, Tommy, I don't want any

[Tommy]

more pictures of me at any age.

[Kyle]

No.

[Kate]

Do you have a picture of you at 11?

[Whitney]

Yes.

[Mark]

the Yankees game?

[Kyle]

Yeah, that picture's.

[Brandon]

Tommy, I do like how you keep a log of everything you do, and I'm envious of that.

[Mark]

I. Yeah. You want to. Can we give you a date.

[Tommy]

Yeah. So it starts May 2021, so it has to be from there.

[Kyle]

Oh, that's not.

[Kate]

What.

[Whitney]

So just at the end of every day, you keep like a notes and that going.

[Kate]

I have a Google.

[Tommy]

I wouldn't call it. Yeah, it's a Google Doc. I call it a life vlog, where I write down what I do every day.

[Kate]

Hold that thought. Out of boredom. Titus. Are you reading the Big Mac book?

[Danny]

I was going to cross reference.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Danny]

Oh, I was going to cross reference Tommy's day with.

[Whitney]

Whoa.

[Kate]

Donorski's Day.

[Whitney]

Yes, please.

[Mark]

All right.

[Danny]

And. And yeah, just to really set the stage, tell you what Don Gorski was doing on the day. Tommy was doing something, you know, so any day date.

[Tommy]

But what I started it May of 2021. So since then. But I'm behind about a month. It's been.

[Nikki]

I. I really.

[Kate]

So like March 19, 2022.

[Tommy]

I can do that. Yep. Let me.

[Kyle]

And then why don't you give us

[Danny]

10 years before March 2012?

[Tommy]

I can't. So that would have been 10th grade. March 19, 2022. I mean, it's two days after St. Patrick's Day, but I can't think of anything.

[Kyle]

What do you say?

[Whitney]

10th grade?

[Mark]

We're talking about gorse.

[Whitney]

2022.

[Tommy]

Wait, no.2012.

[Kate]

Oh, but you.

[Danny]

Did we talk. Did we talk about this already? That

[Tommy]

got my life log.

[Kate]

Hold on. Tommy.

[Kyle]

Shut up, Tommy.

[Danny]

Sorry.

[Whitney]

If.

[Danny]

If this is. There's a page in his book where he talks about all the Big Macs he ate at the crime scenes.

[Kyle]

Yeah, what?

[Danny]

The famous crime scene?

[Kyle]

I don't remember. I don't think we talked about that.

[Danny]

On August. August 20, 1991, he ate a big back. The sixth floor of Dallas. The Dallas book deposit.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God.

[Danny]

82694. Nicole Simpson's condo. Brentwood Height.

[Kyle]

Jesus Gorski.

[Whitney]

What the.

[Danny]

4502. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma cite a federal building.

[Mark]

Oh, my God.

[Danny]

I'm not kidding. It's on. On June 7th of 03, went to the 911. He went to the World Trade Center. So there you go. That's.

[Stephen J.]

Those are all kind of tourist sites, right?

[Kate]

Well, I don't know that Nicole Brown Simpson's Statue of Liberty apartment was.

[Whitney]

Oh, that's.

[Tommy]

I have March 19, 2022. It's sort of the perfect day. But I'm gonna have to leave out some names.

[Mark]

Okay, okay, redact them.

[Tommy]

So it's Saturday, March 19, 2022. Me and Rob went to Towel Bagels and Starbucks. That was My roommate at the time, we at Balcony watched UNC Balor. That must be the March Madness. Showered. A couple of our friends came over drinking on Balcony, then went to Stone street, but it was too crowded.

[Kate]

Oh, that UNC Baylor game, Mark, was interesting, wasn't it? One of the big.

[Danny]

Yeah, that was a big comeback.

[Kate]

Yeah, big. Yeah.

[Danny]

Huge comeback. Leaky black through a pass from half court. It just hit off the backboard. Is that in your notes? Sorry if I'm stepping. Sorry if I'm stepping on your thing.

[Tommy]

No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny]

Threw an errant pass, and it just, like, almost broke the backboard.

[Kate]

Yeah, but they were just down, like, 29.

[Danny]

They're down by a lot.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Danny]

And they came back and Baylor. Baylor was a 1 seed, I believe.

[Kate]

Yeah. This is a year after they won.

[Danny]

After they won the title, I believe. Baylor was a one seed and Carolina was an eight seed. Carolina, of course, goes on to the national championship game, where they lost. Reversal of fortune. Because they were. Because they were up by 20 or so on Kansas and then. And then lost to Kansas. So.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kate]

All right, Tommy.

[Tommy]

Anyway, so. So then my girl. So then my friend's girlfriend's friends came, and then this girl I was dating at the time came, came, and her friends came, and then.

[Kyle]

There's no way she came.

[Tommy]

Well, we'll get to that. So my friends. My friend was dating a girl at the time. She came with this awful hat on, this awful hat that we all thought was obnoxious and we hated her. And then he never saw her again. But then I went back to the girl I was dating's apartment at the time, and I, I. This is how I. I said. Walk back to Blank's apartment, had sex, ordered Taco Bell, then I left because my stomach hurt.

[Kate]

What a day.

[Tommy]

Gone to the perfect day. So the full. The full experience.

[Mark]

Damn.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

But Baylor. So was it Baylor or UNC that had the big league?

[Danny]

Yeah, it was. Baylor had the big lead and. Yeah, I think it went to overtime.

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Danny]

Went to overtime. And then Carolina held on in overtime.

[Kyle]

All right, Tommy. Yeah.

[Kate]

All right.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Happy birthday, dude.

[Tommy]

Yep. Thanks, guys.

[Kyle]

Happy. Made a big happy. You didn't make a big deal of it again.

[Nikki]

Again.

[Tommy]

Never do.

[Kyle]

I can't wait for 711 day.

[Kate]

Tell us about this slushy.

[Tommy]

That is a true smoke set.

[Kyle]

God damn it. I know too much about this guy. All right. See you, Tommy. Happy birthday.

[Danny]

Happy birthday, Tommy.

[Brandon]

Happy birthday, Tommy.

[Kyle]

Genuine. Happy birthday, Tommy.

[Danny]

Tommy. We joke a lot. From the bottom of my heart. Happy birthday, yeah.

[Kyle]

Happy birthday. Genuine happy birthday.

[Danny]

Happy birthday, man.

[Tommy]

I know. Around the ct, right? I'll just take that. I'll take the happy birthday.

[Kate]

I'll be sending. I'll be sending you an audio message

[Tommy]

like, okay, you do you. You owe me one.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

It would be cool for your gravestone if you died today.

[Tommy]

Come on.

[Kyle]

But it would.

[Tommy]

They want it. Want it.

[Kate]

Think about how perfect it would look.

[Danny]

So a lot of times I do like the thing.

[Tommy]

All right.

[Kyle]

1996 to 429.

[Danny]

2026. It's quick.

[Kyle]

Oh, my gosh.

[Danny]

People were when they died. Make it really easy.

[Kyle]

So easy. Just walk right by. Be like, oh, he was 30 on

[Whitney]

the dot after this.

[Kyle]

Well, I guess maybe not on the dot if he doesn't survive till 1034. 1004. What an odd duck way to describe him.

[Kate]

I love him.

[Brandon]

I really do, too.

[Kyle]

He's great. But he's an odd duck.

[Mark]

I think he's so funny.

[Kyle]

By the way. Mountain Dew. Summer's coming. Can't wait. Have some Mountain Dew. Backyard, beach, pool, ice cold Mountain Dew. Nothing goes better with the pool than hanging with your friends and refreshing citrus kick. A Mountain Dew.

[TJ]

Dew.

[Kyle]

We love Mountain Dew. It's been great since 48. Mountain Dew was proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee. It is an American staple. Mountain Dew. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew. An American original. We can't wait for barstool Camp this year. Mountain Dew has always been there for us. We love Mountain Dew. Grab a Dew. Tasting great since 48. It's a summer of dew. I'm gonna say it right now. Now crack open some dues this summer. Might get my kids. I might. I might have my kids have some Mountain Dew for first.

[Brandon]

What a moment.

[Kyle]

Changed their life.

[Danny]

Best.

[Kyle]

What else we got?

[Danny]

You know, Jacob was hit by a car.

[Kate]

What?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Mark]

With that mark on his.

[Danny]

Oh, you guys saw that for the first time.

[Brandon]

I didn't see that.

[Kyle]

Not only was it hit by a car, I'll send it to you. Tj.

[Brandon]

What was he.

[Tommy]

I.

[Kate]

Yes, Nick.

[Brandon]

No, it's too fresh.

[Kyle]

He was hit by a car in.

[Danny]

Actually, technically, like, he hit the car.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nikki]

No.

[Kyle]

A woman opened her Uber door on his scooter. Oh, my God.

[Spider]

That's.

[Mark]

Oh, real good.

[Danny]

God. Insane.

[Stephen J.]

It looks so much worse today.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Worse.

[Danny]

Yeah, it's worse. He showed me right before.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah. Go to the quote. Yeah. Memes. What are you guys thinking for text thread? I replied something good. Pizza, wings, sushi. And then at 5:12. And then Jacob replied at 5:13. There's a good chance I'm a little late tonight. I am in the hospital. I got hit by a car door opening into the bike lane while I was on my scooter. I'm okay. Just don't know when they'll let me out.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Out.

[Kyle]

And then Hank replied, sushi sounds good.

[Tommy]

Thanks.

[Kyle]

Oh, so good.

[Danny]

Sushi sounds good.

[Kyle]

Sushi sounds good. Yeah. It's a gnarly.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Bruise.

[Danny]

Crazy.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Danny]

And he told I. I. I was talking to him a little bit, and he said, Billy Napier missed out.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Like, I got trucked by this car.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Danny]

Got right back up. Back at work.

[Kyle]

He's ready to go. He's a football player.

[Danny]

Tried to. Tried to play football at Florida, and the coach said, you're not tough enough or whatever.

[Kyle]

He said, he's tough.

[Danny]

Tough enough.

[Kyle]

Oh, he is tough enough.

[Danny]

He's definitely tough enough. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Got to be careful.

[Mark]

He ate one at the site of a McDonald's massacre. That's.

[Danny]

That's like evil. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Eating him.

[Danny]

He went to. He went somewhere in New York, and then two days later was at Kent State. He did. He didn't.

[Mark]

He did the.

[Danny]

But he did two crime scenes in two days.

[Brandon]

What did he before that are decently far apart.

[Mark]

Sight of Susan Smith drowning her son.

[Kate]

Jesus Christ.

[Danny]

And then two days later, it was

[Mark]

like a rock star.

[Kate]

He was like, why would you go.

[Whitney]

Wait. He went there to eat a big mat.

[Mark]

Maybe he was there and.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

So he's a Big Mac slash crime enthusiast.

[Kyle]

Sounds like it.

[Whitney]

That's nuts.

[Kyle]

Columbine?

[Kate]

A little. No, he didn't.

[Mark]

In 03, he might have just been in Littleton, Colorado for another reason.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Danny]

Different reason.

[Brandon]

That's interesting, huh?

[Nikki]

Maybe he was just visiting these places.

[Brandon]

And he's always a big man.

[Kate]

Happily visiting the pond that Susan Smith drowned her kids in.

[Nikki]

Jeff's gonna love hearing this.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Later. Went to.

[Kate]

Oh, what? What if Jeff ends up getting a win out of all this?

[Brandon]

Yeah, he might.

[Stephen J.]

Some people are, like, really into true crime.

[Brandon]

That's too into it.

[Kate]

Absolutely.

[Stephen J.]

I don't disagree. That is. That is a bit weird.

[Kate]

But some people are eating a Big Mac over the crime is kind of wild.

[Nikki]

Just getting ketchup on the gravestone.

[Stephen J.]

There's no ketchup on a Big Mac, Danny.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Kate]

God damn it.

[Nikki]

Really Only had one my whole life.

[Brandon]

What?

[Nikki]

And I was forced to eat it.

[Kyle]

By who?

[Nikki]

My uncle.

[Kyle]

Your uncle forced you to eat a Big Mac?

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

I. I was probably 19. I never had one. And I Was just like I've waited long enough. And I used to work for him at a hardware store. He was grabbing McDonald's for lunch and somehow got brought up that I never had one. And then he just forced me to eat one.

[Kate]

One sounds like he just bought you one.

[Nikki]

It's a big lunch though. In the middle of the work day. I regretted it.

[Brandon]

It's not the biggest sandwich.

[Kate]

No, it's.

[Kyle]

It's.

[Nikki]

It's big. A Big Mac.

[Mark]

It's not a big lunch. Just the sandwich.

[Kate]

Standard size lunch.

[Kyle]

Yeah, no, that's more than that. Kind of a baby.

[Nikki]

Disagree.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Agree.

[Stephen J.]

What?

[Kate]

I don't know, Steven.

[Kyle]

What do you got else? What else you got? Anything? Anything?

[Brandon]

Steve, you are perfect tonight.

[Kyle]

No Incredible Stephen performance.

[Kate]

We got an afternoon full of soccer ahead of us. Boys.

[Kyle]

Are you going?

[Kate]

Brandon? I'm on commentary.

[Stephen J.]

Oh, Kylie Jenner didn't stand up and applaud for Jaylen Brunson's 39 point game when he checked out.

[Kyle]

Who cares? Oh, I saw Kelly Kees wanted to have sex with Connor Griffin.

[Tommy]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Oh, whoa.

[Brandon]

That's pretty cool how Conor react to that?

[Kate]

He was honored. Yeah, it's flattered.

[Kyle]

Does he?

[Kate]

I don't know like a. Oh yeah.

[Kyle]

I don't know. He's just been getting chicks throwing him and he's just like.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

Nah,

[Danny]

I know he. He broke up with his one girlfriend because she wouldn't suck him to his liking is what he said. I think that was a direct quote.

[Kyle]

Yeah, but makes sense.

[Danny]

I don't.

[Kyle]

You gotta end.

[Danny]

That's the only.

[Kyle]

Gotta end that.

[Danny]

That's the only piece of evidence I

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

have to go off.

[Kate]

Hands were tied on that one.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

What, what did he say? He said I don't like head. I like to face.

[Danny]

Like to face. That's what he said.

[Kyle]

Like to punish her throat. Yeah, right.

[Brandon]

Yes, the throat punisher. Conor,

[Kyle]

I can't come till she's crying.

[Danny]

Yes.

[Brandon]

He's obsessed with face.

[Danny]

Are you guys. You guys on the call with him with for soccer today?

[Stephen J.]

Yeah, bro.

[Danny]

That'll be fun. Be fun.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Let's just do that.

[Kate]

Okay. Yeah, that's the bit today. Connor's a face.

[Kyle]

He just is obsessed with well known face.

[Brandon]

There's so many girls are like Connor, you face me and never called me back. Bad guy. Mark. If you walked in on him doing that

[Kyle]

in face.

[Danny]

Just thrusting.

[Kyle]

Just really. He's got his pants and his ankles like a. Like a little boy.

[Brandon]

No, his dick's out through the zipper of his.

[Kyle]

He's his hands on the Wall.

[Nikki]

Quit getting snot on my dick.

[Kyle]

He's a special V boy. Yeah.

[Danny]

She's got tears going down her face. Her makeup's running.

[Kyle]

Oh, she's got Reebok pumps on. He stops to pump up a little. Hold on.

[Brandon]

She looks up for a second, he's already calling her Uber home, spitting up console.

[Kate]

What was.

[Nikki]

What were his reports from Spring Break House like on Mostly Danny, to be honest.

[Danny]

Really? Yeah, I was.

[Kate]

They talk about the girl, though. He's.

[Tommy]

He's.

[Kate]

He. He doesn't want us to ask.

[Kyle]

Well, that makes no sense.

[Kate]

He's a little.

[Danny]

Yeah, he downplayed the whole thing. Kind of put it on us that we're crazy for asking or wanting to

[Brandon]

know more of everybody on the cast.

[Kate]

Should have gone that approach last night.

[Kyle]

It was.

[Kate]

He honestly hit us with the guys. That's enough.

[Kyle]

Oh, that's never enough.

[Danny]

I'm not sure why I was there. Please stop asking. Yeah, that was all it was. Yeah.

[Mark]

What is your insight being there first time hand?

[Nikki]

Well, I was there following him around one night when that girl came back

[Kyle]

and they were shot hoops with.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I was K and Nikki, Your words.

[Nikki]

And so I was following around for that. And then by the end of the night, they exchanged numbers. And then afterwards, I was like, oh, you know, what's the deal? And he was like, oh, I. I don't know if I'm interested or not. And it seems so fishy to ask for a number then say that. So I was camping out, like, outside of his room or the bathroom room, thinking that he was going to sneak in the side door and follow her, but he never did. So I didn't know if you guys

[Danny]

had more intel, but I tried, and I got nowhere. At a certain point, I just was like, all right,

[Kate]

I think he just likes Lego titties.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

Honestly, I'd believe, you know?

[Kyle]

Yeah, make him do the Lego.

[Brandon]

We'll get some more out of them. Yeah.

[Kate]

Oh, we are doing commentary.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

Gold titties.

[Stephen J.]

All right, do you guys put pants on hangers or.

[Brandon]

No, we should end this.

[Kate]

My wife does.

[Kyle]

All right, let's do the wheel. But I do as well.

[Brandon]

I like being able to see him.

[Kyle]

Oh, do DraftKings, Steven. Sorry.

[Stephen J.]

You got it. DraftKings Derby Week is here. One of the biggest events of the year, the fastest two minutes in sports. And when it comes to betting, the Derby Derby, DraftKings is your home for horse racing. Gentlemen, suit up. Ladies, bring out those wide brimmed hats, because when those gates open, it's not Just a race. It's the best sweat in sports. And it's not over till it's over. Picking your horse is half the fun. Name jockey number, colors. Everyone's got a reason. All the odds, all the races, and the best promos with the same DraftKings experience you know and love. Right now, DraftKings has brought back their king of the Track promotion. All DraftKings customers can opt in and bet $5 or more on a horse to win the Derby. Derby. And if your pick crosses the finish line first, you'll win your share of $1 million in prizes. Who will reign supreme? Della Drat. The DK Horse Racing app. Use code YAK. That's code YAK. Y A K on DK Horse. Bet $5 or more on a horse to win the Derby for your shot at a piece of $1 million. Only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem.

[Brandon]

Call 1-800- GAMBLER 18 and over, 21 and over in certain states to open owner Access an advanced deposit wagering account in resident of state where DK horse or DK racing is available. Eligibility apply. Void where prohibited. First eligible bet only. Must win to share prize pool. Cash reward via click to claim that expires in 30 days. Limited time offer see [e-mail] bet offer details or racing.draftkings.com Great read, my friend.

[Kate]

Great read.

[Nikki]

Thanks.

[Kate]

All right.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

All right. Soccer time.

[Nikki]

We playing official rules?

[Kyle]

I think so.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

I don't even. I don't know the rules.

[Kate]

Rules. Even if we start off playing.

[Kyle]

Oh, I had one last thing.

[Kate]

Oh.

[Kyle]

Saw. Are you there? Yes, sir. Dude. Dude, the wings.

[Brandon]

Those were clean.

[Kyle]

Holy.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle]

Stop.

[Kate]

Pause.

[Kyle]

What the. Dude, they're starving kids in Africa. I understand. But dude, you might be. Look at those. My father would disown me if I didn't eat a wing. Like, it's my last. Look at those. You just. That's a crime scene. Because of that, I can't. I. I can only play home games when it comes to wings.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

Away games. Has to be boneless. Oh, I get. I get in there.

[Brandon]

But I mean, you probably get a noise complaint eating those.

[Kyle]

Now I get in there. Look like an archaeology site.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Those are ancient. They're good.

[Kyle]

They were good. The Costco. I don't know if you guys have ever had them. The Costco pre made ones. Very good. Probably top. We know you liked them at the very least. Top three wi I've had. That was. It's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen that. Required a lot of sucking now. They were good.

[Mark]

Good call.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I was like, I forgot about that. I stopped me in my tracks when I saw it. This. That's clean as a. Holy Z.

[Danny]

Things you have to do to get that bone. Every cooking cr.

[Kyle]

What that mouth do, bro.

[Whitney]

That should be fans. And that's all you did. I would pay to watch it.

[Danny]

That's Connor Griffin standard right there. That's what he wants out of a woman. That's what he's looking for. Nothing less will do.

[Kyle]

It's just a slideshow. Z's wings or Connor Griffin getting sucked off.

[Whitney]

Connor wants no meat left, just a pile of bones.

[Brandon]

I want you to suck my dick till it's gone to the bone. When you're done, I better have no dick.

[Kyle]

Ridiculous.

[Whitney]

I don't look like a Ken doll.

[Kyle]

All his girlfriends have beaver teeth.

[Brandon]

Oh, really?

[Kate]

Just.

[Kyle]

Just go on that thing. Just chisel it down. All right, let's spin the wheel. We got soccer to do. Let's not get injured, boys. Let's just.

[Danny]

This doesn't look like a lot of run.

[Kyle]

Yeah, looks a lot of.

[Danny]

Hopefully not a lot of running. We should just make handball legal too, I think. Yeah, just make it legal.

[Kyle]

H. Oh. Okay, Reset so far. Eliminator goes back on. Regular wet goes back on.

[Kate]

No, final wet.

[Kyle]

Regular wet goes back on card eliminator. Well, we. We could have hit final wet, but we didn't.

[Kate]

It was only one damage day, right?

[Kyle]

No, then we got a wheel reset.

[Kate]

We had it to. No, no, no. It's final wet.

[Stephen J.]

I saw a pretty cool idea in somewhere.

[Kate]

We got the draft on there, which is a much better thing.

[Kyle]

Yeah, different variations of wet.

[Stephen J.]

No, you keep. You keep final wet on, but then final wet stays on, but everyone has one final wet. So, like, Brandon will get wet one more time.

[Kyle]

Oh, I like that.

[Stephen J.]

One more time until the whole show is complete. But then once wet, there's a wheel of all.

[TJ]

The next time you get wet is your last time.

[Kyle]

I love that. Yeah, Brandon, Also, the. The Rob tweeted me, said the wet wheel, but it then goes to a secondary wheel, and there's different wets. There's like, you got to make five three pointers in a row. You got to get wet, you got to get juices wild. Yeah, There we go.

[Danny]

How about that, Brandon?

[Kyle]

Yeah, Spice it up.

[Whitney]

Isn't it wet like a cigarette lace with ketamine that.

[Brandon]

Whoa.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Whitney]

Smoke some wet.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you got to get wet.

[Danny]

You want to do it? You want to do it One more

[Kyle]

time or just say you hate the show. I don't want to get rid of the wheel.

[Kate]

I hate the wheel. I love the show. The wheel gets in the way of the show.

[Kyle]

No, it does.

[Dr. Michael Fulgence]

It literally.

[Kyle]

Literally doesn't. It's not a crutch. It's the last two minutes of the show. It's the opposite of a crutch.

[Nikki]

Tradition.

[Kyle]

There it is right there.

[TJ]

You could.

[Kyle]

That's. That's what. Brandon's trying to take it away from you. Easily taken. It's no different than. Than making 76 teams in the tournament on a minute. All your traditions.

[Kate]

Hair looks ridiculous in that logo.

[Kyle]

All your traditions are gone.

[Kate]

All right, so spend it again, I guess.

[Kyle]

Yeah. So be so funny if. If it was wet right now. Oh, man, that'd be so good. Oh.

[Whitney]

Ph.

[Kyle]

All right. See you guys tomorrow. Kb, you want to stay.

[Kate]

Act

[Kyle]

shop or do Yankee Bob is the act? It's the act.

[Tommy]

Hi, Mom.

[TJ]

Hi, dad. All right, love you guys. See you tomorrow.

[Kyle]

Bye.