The Wonders of Science: A Donny Do Science Presentation | The Yak 2-10-26

Summary

The Yak – "The Wonders of Science: A Donny Do Science Presentation" (Feb 10, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this episode, the Yak crew—Brandon Walker, KBNoSwag (Kyle), Nick, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Big Cat (in spirit), and guest Chef Donnie—gather for a humorous, meandering, and surprisingly philosophical exploration of "doing science." The center of gravity is the much-anticipated "Donny Do Science" presentation, with Donnie pitching a globe-spanning self-improvement science quest to his skeptical but supportive Barstool colleagues. The show careens through group banter, hater rants, and eventually lands in China (conceptually) for Donnie’s proposal to restore his “chi” under the guidance of a Taoist master.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Pre-Donnie Banter: Illness, Haters, and Petty Grievances

• Kyle returns: After a bout of illness (rhino virus), the crew jokes about cold etiquette in the workplace (02:03).
• Office banter: Donnie and Jack’s relationship is scrutinized after a failed romantic date, and Jack laments his decrepit car; theft is encouraged as an act of mercy (09:10).
• The ‘James’ Sports Awards: Brandon claims the prestigious (and possibly fake) "James" Award for college football personality, prompting debate about the value of made-up accolades (11:01).
• Hate session proposal: Mid-show, “hater energy” peaks as Brandon suggests a future episode where everyone openly admits what they despise, from beanbag chairs to ping pong to Disneyland (55:08–68:45).
  • Quote: “This feels good. I just have my hate up. I like this type of flow state.” – Brandon (63:04)

The Prelude to Donnie’s Presentation

• The group grows impatient waiting for Donnie to finish his science Prezi, feigning concern for his well-being, and blaming Jack McCarthy for Donnie’s rising stress and newfound request for an "appearance fee" (74:08).
  • Quote: “We got to kill Jack McCarthy. He jinxed you. Jack ruined Chef, the one pure thing we had, and he ruined it.” – Nick (76:43–77:12)
• Donnie’s energy oscillates between excitable, defensive, and exasperated as he appears, takes comedic abuse, and finally readies his presentation (81:19).

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The Main Event: "Donny Do Science" Presentation

1. What Makes a Good Scientist? (76:09–77:54)

• Donnie opens with a tongue-in-cheek PowerPoint honoring “pioneers of science—like myself.”
• Science archetypes flash on the screen: Stephen Hawking, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Isaac Newton, and some that the crew can’t name.
• Key takeaway: A good scientist combines “A Beautiful Mind” (shown via movie references), “math,” and “love.”
  • Quote: “You can’t have science without love.” – Donnie (83:54)
• The group teases Donnie for mixing up math and science and for focusing on movie mathematicians.

2. Donnie’s Path to Scientific Greatness (84:08–85:49)

• The episode’s thesis emerges: Donnie must reset his chi before meaningful science can begin.
• To do so, he proposes a pilgrimage to China, training under “Master Goo” in the Wudang Mountains to realign his life force and achieve true scientific capability.

3. The China Science Quest: Methodology (88:49–95:04)

• Phase 1: The Sleeping Crane
  Donnie must sleep on a wooden bench or stone in a special “Taoist posture” so his gallbladder faces the meridian—step one on the enlightenment path.

• Phase 2: Internal Alchemy
  He will subsist on pine needles, goji berries, and mountain mist to “clear brain fog.”

• Phase 3: Bone Setting and Moxibustion
  He will undergo treatments designed to “reset all your bones” and clear “WiFi toxins.”

• Costs are estimated at $5,000–$10,000, including airfare and the program with Master Goo (95:04).

  • Quote: “Before I do any science, I have to get my chi set right. There’s no way around it.” – Donnie (100:55)

• The group is enthusiastic—if skeptical—about the wisdom of Donnie’s quest and the legitimacy of Goo, whose website, suspiciously, includes online classes and Western-friendly options.

4. Science Goals – Post-Chi Alignment (101:07-102:03)

• Upon returning, Donnie intends to:
  • Recreate famous (sometimes ill-fated) experiments, e.g., "Balloon boy" and being shot out of a cannon.
  • Explore “aerodynamics” and “human genome sequencing.”
  • Confirm that resetting his chi results in becoming a more “enlightened and cheerful person.”
• Proposal accepted: Brandon agrees to fund Donnie’s self-improvement science trip if he produces documentary content.

5. Reflections: Stress, Evil Influences, and Love

• The episode closes with mutual (and often backhanded) affirmations of Donnie’s curiosity—if not his intellect.
  • Quote: “Intellectual curiosity is probably the greatest thing you can have.” – Brandon (115:10)
• Donnie admits to live-show nervousness and genetics-based high blood pressure, then accepts the challenge of a “hate day” and further chi-related baseline testing.

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Notable Quotes and Moments (with Timestamps)

• On hater energy:
  “This is the type of flow state I like.” – Brandon (63:04)
• On ‘James’ Sport Awards:
  “Somebody sent me a new banner and it said awarded by James. So it’s got to count.” – Nick (10:44)
• On the Donnie/Jack dynamic:
  “Jack ruined Chef, the one pure thing we had, and he ruined it.” – Nick (76:43)
• On science and love:
  “You can’t have science without love. If you don’t love what you do, you’re never gonna be a good scientist.” – Donnie (83:54)
• On Master Goo and skepticism:
  “Does Master Goo exist?” – Kyle (90:39)
  “This guy might be a hoax.” – Donnie (97:16)
• On intellectual curiosity:
  “I think you are curious. Intellectual curiosity is probably the greatest thing you can have.” – Brandon (115:10)
• On Donnie’s scientific ambitions:
  “I’m going to do tests that even Brian Johnson hasn’t thought of. Human testing. On myself.” – Donnie (103:17)
• On readiness:
  “Before we even do science, you need to get your chi right.” – Mark (100:52)
• On the deliverable:
  “Donnie’s science project was: ‘Does send me on a free trip to China?’” – Nick (124:25)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Brandon proposes “Hate Day”: (55:08–68:45)
• Tensions mount as Donnie is late, requests fee: (73:25–77:00)
• Donny Do Science Presentation (main): (75:58–102:14)
• Master Goo/China Plan: (88:10–98:32)
• Immense banter and interventions about skepticism, friendship, and self-improvement: (102:14–110:00)
• Wrap-up, promises of China trip, further chi testing: (110:00–end)

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The Yak Tone & Comedic Spirit

The episode maintains the typical irreverent, fast-paced tone Yak fans expect: rapid-fire jokes, self-deprecation, a mix of serious musings and complete nonsense. Donnie’s blend of anxiety and wild optimism blends with the group’s loving ridicule, resulting in a unique, unpredictable show. At heart, the Yak is about the group’s chemistry—busting each other's chops, supporting goofy missions, and finding the comedy in everyday pettiness or grand adventures.

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Takeaways for Non-Listeners

• The Yak remains appointment listening for banter-fueled absurdity. This episode marries group therapy (“hate day”) with the mock earnestness of Donnie’s quixotic pursuit of “scientific” enlightenment.
• Donnie will travel to China (on Barstool’s dime), attempt to “reset his chi” under a Taoist master, and return to perform dangerous and/or hilarious experiments as an “improved” scientist—all for content.
• The team is deeply skeptical, but simultaneously supportive and excited about the potential for offbeat, genuinely funny material.

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For full science adventure coverage, tune in next episode when Donnie returns from China—or, at minimum, prepares for negative side effects from pine needle soup and bone setting.

Transcript

[Mark]

Hey, yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Brandon]

Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players.

[Mark]

But in the arena, they're prime time.

[Brandon]

And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back. With lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer.

[Mark]

Drops timeouts, overtime and playoffs.

[Brandon]

It's its city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi. Keep up. It's golf. Tune in to every match only on espn. Have you guys heard about this polar bear? He did the Pepsi Challenge and realized Pepsi Zero sugar tastes better than Coke Zero sugar. Isn't that right, Mr. Bear? Interesting. So in other words, you know how much taste matters. Do you have any techniques we could share with listeners to help them also accept who they really are? Interesting. So meditation, I think it's hard to read polar bears. Let's give it a go. Go out and try Pepsi zero sugar today. Let your taste decide.

[Mark]

I'm the coolest one out all of us.

[Brandon]

That was incredible. Hello, it's the Yak.

[Nick]

Whoa.

[Dave]

Hello?

[Brandon]

Are you still alive? Sell blue coffee dot com.

[Nick]

Wait, what?

[Brandon]

H. That stopped roughly. Did it not?

[Nick]

You sound fine.

[Mark]

It did.

[Eddie]

It did.

[Brandon]

Oh, tj, Good on my end.

[Nick]

All right. All right.

[Brandon]

Soul Blue coffee dot com. Go buy it right now. Ready to drink cans. Cold brew K cups. Hot coffee. Kyle's back.

[Kyle]

Back.

[Brandon]

Feels good to have you back.

[Nick]

Hey, Kyle.

[Kyle]

Yeah?

[Mark]

Little vocal rest?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I haven't said a word in two days.

[Brandon]

How do I sound?

[Donnie]

Better.

[Dave]

A lot better.

[Mark]

You're stuffy now, though.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Are you sick?

[Kyle]

Yeah, Cold. Ah. Which is kind of horrific.

[Brandon]

What do you mean, the common cold? Do you have one? When did you get it?

[Kyle]

Two days ago.

[Brandon]

And is this day three of symptoms?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Are you feeling worse? Better?

[Kyle]

No, Better.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle]

But I think we need to start like.

[Brandon]

I'm like hours away from going on vacation. I'll kill you.

[Kyle]

We need like a pro pacification. You won't kill campaign of the common cold.

[Eddie]

I agree.

[Kyle]

It's not.

[Donnie]

It's.

[Kyle]

Dude, I'm incessantly blowing, spraying and coughing up phlegm mucus.

[Nick]

And you're sitting right beside him.

[Brandon]

Right beside him.

[Kyle]

And yellow switch with Danny. Yellow coming out of my orifice. Just because I'm physically capable.

[Jack]

Probably rather.

[Kyle]

Be sick or repping 100. Doesn't mean I should please. Donating my entire environment with viral organ juice.

[Nick]

I think you're fine.

[Brandon]

Switch it, Danny.

[Kyle]

Let's call it what it is. Rhino virus.

[Nick]

Hey, get to work.

[Brandon]

Stop talking towards me and switch to Danny.

[Mark]

Bonnie, come here.

[Donnie]

Donnie.

[Brandon]

Well, Donnie hasn't done anything for his presentation yet.

[Eddie]

Donnie.

[Nick]

Now he's going to act like, oh, we're, we're holding him up.

[Brandon]

We said, hey, are you ready? He goes, yeah, I have till one.

[Nick]

Mark, go check.

[Mark]

You want me to go check? Mark.

[Brandon]

Are you.

[Eddie]

What is he? He's got an apron on.

[Nick]

He just cooked.

[Brandon]

Are you still contagious?

[Kyle]

No.

[Mark]

How do you know?

[Kyle]

Cuz it's like day four, three, oh, two. But no, I'm good. I'm at the point where I'm just clogged up and not.

[Mark]

It's the worst.

[Kyle]

Spraying yellow.

[Brandon]

What am I doing? I'm, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a beast.

[Nick]

Yeah, I'll be fine.

[Mark]

You're toast.

[Brandon]

I'll be fine.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Is that tri leg table in front of us?

[Brandon]

Wow, the Quran board.

[Kyle]

That's Black Cat.

[Brandon]

It's not as cool as the videos.

[Mark]

It's, that's powdered, not oiled.

[Dave]

I thought it was gonna be shiny.

[Brandon]

So I'm, I don't know what to do. I think we got a broken one.

[Mark]

Chef Donnie walked by and he goes, dude, karam. And he's like, I've been watching karam videos for three years. And I was like, dude, maybe if your presentation's good, you could bring it home. He was like, oh. And then he ran like, he can have it.

[Brandon]

I, I, I think it's a bust.

[Dave]

Look at that.

[Eddie]

That's not, that's not what we have.

[Dave]

That thing looks like it's floating.

[Nick]

So y' all saying we just need a big round thing like that?

[Jack]

I think that's dark oil on it.

[Mark]

Is that ours?

[Kyle]

Oh, that is not ours.

[Brandon]

Why is that guy looking at us like that?

[Dave]

Yeah. Wait.

[Donnie]

Oh, wait.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Oh, what's he, what's he going to do?

[Eddie]

How's he gonna get out of this predicament?

[Nick]

Wait a second.

[Brandon]

What the hell?

[Nick]

Wait, there's no way that.

[Eddie]

No, that's a way. No.

[Brandon]

That's so sick.

[Dave]

Yeah, I would. That guy.

[Nick]

What?

[Kyle]

What?

[Dave]

What? That's. How cool.

[Kyle]

Iranian.

[Eddie]

That's the one you want, though. How is this the same sport or.

[Brandon]

The same, I don't know, Kuwaiti? How we gotta bust is this like.

[Nick]

Augusta national of the Quran boards?

[Mark]

He's got like a big ass ditch.

[Brandon]

I want that board, I think that's marble, right?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

So that's the difference.

[Mark]

That looks too easy. It just pushes it in no matter what.

[Dave]

Has anyone tried it yet?

[Mark]

Yeah, it was easy.

[Eddie]

Oh, look at that shot. That's what I want to do.

[Dave]

So that's easy. Nick, you said bang.

[Mark]

For guys like me, I feel like.

[Nick]

We'Re ignoring the fact that chef Donnie didn't do anything.

[Brandon]

This is us.

[Mark]

I think that's for the best.

[Brandon]

All right, we'll give it a shot. Yeah. Chef Donnie has not done anything.

[Jack]

Will he still be presenting, though?

[Brandon]

Yeah, he said one o'. Clock. He'll be ready. He said no.

[Nick]

What topic is.

[Brandon]

I don't think do science.

[Mark]

Mark maybe go check.

[Eddie]

You want to go check?

[Mark]

I don't know.

[Dave]

Probably be helpful to him.

[Nick]

Somebody needs to check. And I think you're. You've got the best angle to get over there.

[Mark]

Just ask if the WI fi's on, if the WI fi is working.

[Nick]

And he's gonna complain that he got slowed down by Mark.

[Brandon]

Danny's it's still bring your girlfriend to work day.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Jack]

For the rest of the week.

[Brandon]

Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah. Go easy.

[Eddie]

Save room for visitors.

[Donnie]

Sure.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Jack]

She.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You guys had a video shoot together.

[Brandon]

But she's liking it.

[Jack]

She is. We showed her a little bit more of the city yesterday. Eddie took us on what was supposed to be a romantic date that just turned really uncomfortable to the sears tower last night.

[Brandon]

Oh, nice.

[Jack]

Saw the whole city.

[Kyle]

Is she moving here, or are you breaking up?

[Brandon]

Good question, Kyle. I was gonna.

[Jack]

I mean, slow point.

[Brandon]

Why are Those two options 10 minutes?

[Mark]

That definitely is the two options.

[Brandon]

Why?

[Nick]

Well, no, there's a third.

[Brandon]

Pregnant.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

That's how it works.

[Mark]

No, that. That's breaking up.

[Brandon]

No, that's not. No, no. You could be. You could have the kid and be kind of broken up, but have to still see each other all the time.

[Dave]

You resent the out of each other.

[Jack]

Just a nice vacation, that's all. Nothing to worry about here.

[Nick]

That was quick.

[Kyle]

Something to think about By Q.

[Brandon]

You did. In terms of weather, like, you nailed that. Starting to get nice.

[Kyle]

So Nice today, dude.

[Brandon]

35.

[Kyle]

Feels like amazing.

[Mark]

It's amazing. Tropical.

[Jack]

Yeah. Swimming weather.

[Nick]

How was it?

[Dave]

He's.

[Eddie]

He's got his apron. You can see right there. He's got his apron on. He's looking at the camera. I walk up and he's like, mark, not now. Not now. I'm filming something right now.

[Mark]

No, he's not.

[Dave]

And I said, oh, he just slammed his pet.

[Eddie]

I said, what about the presentation? He's like, I'll get to the presentation. I have to film this first. You're delaying me. And he lost his mind about it.

[Nick]

There's no way he's done by one o'. Clock.

[Brandon]

No way.

[Nick]

Because it started.

[Eddie]

Has not even started.

[Kyle]

I think he has some done. He knows how important this is.

[Dave]

Did you guys see that apron hand? Oh, look, he's not even looking at.

[Nick]

He's just.

[Dave]

He's a de. Is he a diva?

[Mark]

To. To Miller? Yes.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Stephen]

Wait, Danny, did Jackie see your car yet?

[Eddie]

No.

[Mark]

Dude, you got to show her. You got to show her.

[Jack]

It's like, the reason I didn't pick her up from the airport. I'm like, I don't have a car. I don't know where it is right now.

[Mark]

Let's get her down here.

[Nick]

So not having a car is more impressive than having your car?

[Jack]

Trust me. Yes. Big time. Big time.

[Dave]

What if we decorate it for Valentine's Day? What if you let me make it cute?

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Would you take it for.

[Mark]

There's nothing we're gonna do that it would be cute.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's not awful.

[Jack]

There's just a really rough patch of rust above one of the wheels, and it makes a lot of noise when you drive it.

[Nick]

Let's make it a heart.

[Jack]

Perpetually dusty, but other than that. Yeah, Pimp my ride for me.

[Dave]

I had a noisy car once. It's embarrassing to have a noisy car.

[Nick]

I've had a. Yeah, why don't you.

[Eddie]

Just get a new one?

[Jack]

Right now?

[Brandon]

I feel like getting these draftkings free bets.

[Eddie]

To buy a new car.

[Jack]

I don't really need one in the city right now. It's kind of more just a hassle. Like, maybe if I'm going shopping or something, but I'm not driving to work. It costs another 300 if I want to park in my building every day. Yeah, I'll save it.

[Nick]

I'll save it. A month or a year.

[Jack]

Yeah, a month.

[Mark]

Would it be, like, a huge relief if it got stolen?

[Jack]

Kind of.

[Brandon]

We could stage that.

[Mark]

Yeah, it's. If you guys are. If you guys are in the Chicago area, steal Danny's car.

[Dave]

Look for the.

[Eddie]

It's free.

[Dave]

Yeah, just look for the crummy car that's his.

[Jack]

I'm like, I just leave it in Roscoe Village by my buddies, and I'm just, like, shocked every time I see it still there.

[Brandon]

Not gonna get stolen there.

[Jack]

I know what is, but it's the closest.

[Kyle]

What is the piece that they Tend to steal.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

And how much does that run?

[Jack]

A lot.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Jack]

I don't know, though.

[Donnie]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

Maybe not a lot.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Did your old man used to nab those?

[Nick]

Yeah, he. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jack]

I guess it would be a funny prank if you all, like, pitched him together and got me a new car. I'd be. I'd be with that.

[Nick]

He tried to trick me into stealing with him one time, but I. I caught wise to it.

[Mark]

What was it?

[Nick]

He's like, we're going over to my buddy's house. He's letting me. He's letting me get some stuff out of the garage. I was like, all right. And I drove him over there. And we had to sneak behind through a fence. We had to hop a fence. And by the time we hopped the fence, I'm like, I don't think your buddy. I don't think your buddy lives here.

[Mark]

You should be way more fucked up, man.

[Nick]

Yeah, agreed.

[Mark]

You need Francis to write your story.

[Brandon]

He said it. He's like a. He's actually an incredible story.

[Mark]

It's unbelievable.

[Brandon]

You're the Sam Darnold of. Of.

[Nick]

Agreed. Yeah, yeah, agreed. I'm also the new, once again the number one college football media personality in the world for 2025.

[Brandon]

Oh, you boomer again.

[Nick]

No, I didn't get it from Big Game Boomer.

[Brandon]

Who'd you get it from?

[Nick]

James.

[Mark]

Oh, nice.

[Brandon]

Who's James?

[Eddie]

I mean, James. It's the real James. James.

[Nick]

James.

[Eddie]

I asked the same thing. It is the real James.

[Nick]

James.

[Eddie]

Not a parody.

[Nick]

Somebody sent me a new banner and it said awarded by James.

[Brandon]

Oh, okay. So it's got to count. What happened to Big Game Boomer?

[Nick]

I think the Internet got to him a little bit or he just got tired of it or sworn of those. He's a. I met him. He's a nice guy. So JSA proud to announce Brandon Walker Barstool Sports once again. That's James.

[Mark]

How many followers James have. That has four likes.

[Dave]

Four likes. 39.

[Brandon]

Sports.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Why didn't you say that? Well, I didn't know it was James Sports talking about.

[Mark]

That's a really good name for.

[Dave]

Have they given out other awards?

[Brandon]

You're not confused at all what he does.

[Eddie]

They're the James Sports Award Association. What other awards have they given out?

[Nick]

I think this might be the first one.

[Eddie]

First one.

[Nick]

The inaugural award. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Congrats on the. The James.

[Nick]

Thank you.

[Mark]

I mean, there had to be a first Grammy. Like, it doesn't award.

[Dave]

This is probably the same. The James Beard Award for food he probably does sports now. It could be same guy.

[Eddie]

That's a great point. That's a great. The first Oscar winner was probably just like a O.

[Mark]

Like Oscar.

[Eddie]

Never heard of him.

[Mark]

An Oscar and a James. It's not that much different.

[Jack]

Tony.

[Kyle]

It's just dude names the G. God. Yeah, the.

[Mark]

Yeah, you got the James of the.

[Nick]

So I got me a James.

[Brandon]

James.

[Nick]

What do we do until Donnie do science. We just sit here.

[Brandon]

I wanted Dana's back. I wanted to talk to him.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

Donnie. Danny, I owe you an apology.

[Kyle]

Go on.

[Mark]

I had the longest turd of my life yesterday.

[Kyle]

Go on.

[Mark]

Well, everybody that went to San Francisco ended up having long turds. And Danny text me, have your turds been longer? I didn't answer. And then a couple days later he sent me them out of the water.

[Jack]

Very long and narrow. I've never seen who else.

[Nick]

Always professionally long turted though.

[Jack]

Yeah, he's probably like thick and short, I would imagine.

[Mark]

I don't think Fasoli. I think he's more liquid. What are we doing?

[Jack]

Chronic diarrhea.

[Brandon]

By the way, the boys are. The boys are on the way to Turkey right now, I think.

[Jack]

I think they're like leaving in groups.

[Mark]

They're leaving. Friday is when they had to leave. Some people went to just take a little trip.

[Brandon]

Wait, so Minty left today?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh my God.

[Dave]

What's today? Tuesday.

[Mark]

The production team went today, pulling a chair and like Dave and Donnie.

[Nick]

Ben Metz hosting went with the production.

[Mark]

Team, I believe with and. And White Sox.

[Brandon]

David, I want him to get kidnapped so bad.

[Mark]

Now maybe it's. Maybe there's another reason. But I know everybody else that's getting a transplant is Friday.

[Nick]

Unbelievable.

[Brandon]

It would be so awesome if he got kidnapped.

[Donnie]

Like what?

[Kyle]

Like labor? Trafficked.

[Brandon]

I already. I already gave it price. Greer asked for a price. Said 15 basketballs and a 50 gift card to Barstool Sports.

[Donnie]

Pretty good.

[Brandon]

That's my final offer.

[Jack]

Pretty generous.

[Dave]

Is Miny good at withstanding pain?

[Mark]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

I feel like the fact that he's like runs long distances.

[Dave]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Brandon]

I actually credit to Nikki smokes. I initially typed out Nikki. I'd offered Nikki smokes for Minsy. And then I was like, wait, I wouldn't do that trade.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

That's huge.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I wouldn't.

[Eddie]

That's big for.

[Brandon]

Yeah, no, he's above him. Yeah. I would trade Mincy for Nicky smokes to get Nikki smokes back.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Eddie]

It's a huge come up for smokes.

[Brandon]

Huge.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

So yeah, the Worst person I know is. Is now the second worst person I know.

[Nick]

Wow.

[Mark]

I'm sure he.

[Nick]

Massive reshuffling of the deck here.

[Mark]

I'm sure he left for a reason.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Free food and, oh, Deutsch was moving in.

[Mark]

Oh, that's right.

[Nick]

The Deutsche stay there last night or tonight's first night?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I think tonight's his first night. I gave Deutsch some clothes.

[Jack]

Nice.

[Brandon]

He was pumped. It's cleaning out my office.

[Jack]

Yeah, I saw you had a pilot for grabs, and people were taking, like, your old deodorant.

[Brandon]

I was like, well, no, that was. That wasn't my old deodorant. It was like. Like, Dove sent me a care package. Gotcha.

[Mark]

Deutsch was so excited. I walked past his desk, and I was like, hey, what's going on, man? He's like, got a computer?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And I was like, what are you doing with it? He's like, I'm trying to log in.

[Brandon]

Was he typing? Was he trying to type the other day? Who. Who got that video? I thought I saw him trying to learn how to type. He hadn't had a computer for eight years.

[Eddie]

Is there a way to access his computer?

[Kyle]

I believe that door wings.

[Brandon]

I think you just have to ask.

[Mark]

Is he the most fishable guy on Earth?

[Brandon]

His password is probably beer.

[Mark]

His password's Deutsch.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Ron, is he even aware of fishing? He's been off computer so long, I'm.

[Eddie]

Just curious what he's doing.

[Dave]

Get him up to date.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Up his laptop. What happens next?

[Dave]

Yeah, I'd like to follow him down a rabbit hole. Like an Internet rabbit hole, see what he's looking into.

[Brandon]

It's got to be good.

[Mark]

It's gonna be great.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Jack]

Any updates on your laptop, Steve?

[Stephen]

Potentially, I have to call a number today. It looks like there might be a match in San Francisco, but I have to call to sort it out.

[Brandon]

What a pain in the ass. I would just give it up.

[Jack]

Is Pete not able to track.

[Brandon]

Oh, y. He is playing monkey ball.

[Dave]

That's.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that's from about eight years ago.

[Mark]

He was like, this is a blast.

[Donnie]

I got. I got to check this thing out and go home with it. It's yours, buddy.

[Dave]

Oh, like a library.

[Kyle]

I get to take it home.

[Mark]

Yeah, he'll be good. He'll be good.

[Brandon]

Be great. He's going to fit in.

[Mark]

Somebody did send me an idea for the battle beers. The bracket, I like.

[Brandon]

Those are two separate ideas.

[Mark]

Oh, the bracket beers.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Mark]

My apologies. The beer amount should be their seating, so if the one Seed wins. He drinks.

[Brandon]

Oh, I like that.

[Kyle]

That's perfect.

[Donnie]

Whoever something.

[Mark]

That was a good idea. So if this. If there's an upset, he's got to drink 16. 16 beers.

[Brandon]

Fairly Dickinson.

[Eddie]

I like that idea.

[Kyle]

Do you think you could drink all of the first round upset disparities in one day?

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Kyle]

You know what I mean?

[Mark]

Yeah. Deutsch isn't his most like 60.

[Jack]

He said like. Yeah, 50ish.

[Kyle]

Like, what would they add up to, though? It's going to be a lot of twelves beating fives. I think it would be a good challenge.

[Mark]

I think so too.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

He might die the way it's currently constructed.

[Brandon]

Let me see. I'm gonna look at.

[Kyle]

I'll probably be like in the 40.

[Eddie]

We'll drink 16 on Thursday, 16 on Friday. Than eight on Saturday, eight on Sunday.

[Brandon]

No, we're saying the seeds.

[Eddie]

I'm saying the way it's currently his current idea.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I'm a look right now.

[Eddie]

Which is like, I don't know.

[Brandon]

All right, you guys. You guys add. This would be one of the days. One plus nine.

[Kyle]

I got that. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Okay. Plus five. Plus four.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Plus six.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Brandon]

Plus three. Plus ten. Plus two. Plus one. You got it.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Plus eight.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Brandon]

Plus twelve. Plus four. Plus eleven. Three. Ten. Two.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

One hundred and twelve.

[Brandon]

Wait, that's not actually what it does. Was it?

[Kyle]

No, I lost.

[Brandon]

God damn it. You kept on. So you had it.

[Kyle]

It seemed. It seems as if it would be like in the 80 range.

[Brandon]

10. I'm gonna do it. You guys talk 19.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Nick]

The way.

[Eddie]

The way he wants to do it. The first two days will be 16 beers a piece.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And then after that, he's just like casually drinking beer.

[Nick]

Yeah. Saturday and Sunday are.

[Eddie]

Saturday And Sunday are eight beers.

[Nick]

And then sweet is two beers.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Four.

[Kyle]

Four.

[Eddie]

And then it becomes.

[Mark]

You get new foghorn. 91.

[Brandon]

91. Oh, that's a lot.

[Mark]

I did too many.

[Nick]

I did, Nick. I did.

[Mark]

Is he problematic?

[Nick]

Falcorn Lego. No, he's not problematic.

[Jack]

It does ring a bell, though.

[Nick]

He just talks in a southern voice.

[Jack]

That doesn't Got canceled for something.

[Nick]

Pepe Le Pew is canceled for being a cat rapist. But yeah, Foghorn Leghorn's fine. He's just talking to Southern accent.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Nick]

Yes, thank you for noticing my Foghorn.

[Dave]

Well, they say I do declare on the bottom.

[Nick]

They do.

[Dave]

That's fun.

[Jack]

Yeah, like a Go to Foghorn Leghorn Scandals.

[Nick]

He's not canceled. He's not canceled. Are we just canceling everybody that has a southern voice now?

[Jack]

Oh, yeah, he said it.

[Mark]

No way.

[Nick]

Did not say it.

[Stephen]

Yep.

[Kyle]

He.

[Nick]

Foghorn Leghorn has. Has never.

[Jack]

So you're telling me Wikipedia is lying?

[Mark]

Guess he did.

[Nick]

All right.

[Dave]

Heard he's also on the list.

[Nick]

Oh, come on.

[Mark]

He spelled it right, like he's.

[Nick]

Yeah, you probably should go check on him soon. But what did he try to spell in your video?

[Brandon]

Nick Edge.

[Mark]

Wedge.

[Donnie]

Wedge.

[Mark]

Yeah, he struggled with that.

[Nick]

We dig.

[Jack]

We.

[Mark]

Dag was his first one.

[Brandon]

All right, I got it. Deutsch can do for every fit. For every higher seed that wins, it counts as one. And then he ups any upset, he has to drink the difference. That would have been 30 beers.

[Mark]

That's possible.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's definitely possible. And that also adds some intrigue. Because if you have, like, a 14 over three, that's 11 beers, right?

[Mark]

And that'll happen.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

So that's it. That's what he has to do. Done. Happy we got that figured out. Check that off the box. Kate, did you list.

[Mark]

Did you declare war against a photo company?

[Dave]

Yeah, I did.

[Mark]

It has to be really up for you to be mad at something. Pretty mad publicly. What is it?

[Dave]

The Barksdale photo group. The Barksdale photo group? Yeah.

[Mark]

What do they do to you?

[Dave]

Yeah, you get your kids school pictures at the beginning of the year. And they send home the pamphlet. They're like, how many of these do you want? And the different whatevers. And I always go basic. Cause I feel like we don't really need school photos now. I have a million other cute photos of my kids. Whatever. But then he comes home, opens up his backpack yesterday, and he's really excited. And it's this whole magazine of cutout Valentine's cards with his face on one side and a little heart. And on the other side, it's like fruit puns. Like, I'm bananas for you. I'm whatever. And I'm like, they just sent home. I'm so dumb. I was like, they sent home free Valentine's cards from the Parksdale group. So I opened it up, and the first page is like, yeah, cut these out and share these with friends. There's nothing about paying or buying. And I'm like, okay, weird. And he's already. He's got the safety. We've been practicing cutting with scissors as a skill. So he's cutting one out to take to his piano teacher. Cause we're about to go to piano lessons. And then I open it up again. I'm like, let me look again. And buried in the middle of these, 36 Valentine's cards. It's like, that'll be $12 unless you send it back untouched in within 12 days. Oh, and I was like, what the fuck?

[Kyle]

Slimy.

[Brandon]

And then like send it home with.

[Mark]

The boy to get him excited.

[Dave]

And then why would I give it back and be like, here's 36 cute photos of you. Take it back to your teacher. I don't want it. Like, I could not.

[Brandon]

They got you.

[Mark]

They got you good.

[Dave]

But who.

[Nick]

What the.

[Dave]

I feel like we should all be more pissed about that.

[Kyle]

Is Parkdale. Is that. Is that like national?

[Dave]

They're Delco based, of course. Where I used to be a UPS driver helper in ASAP.

[Brandon]

Oh, so that's going straight to Oxy.

[Mark]

Yeah, that $12. How many bars is that?

[Dave]

Percocets actually would be the move there. Um, but yeah, I just. It like really pissed me off. I don't know why, but hey, there's.

[Mark]

So many things happen to you.

[Dave]

No, absolutely not. I'm gonna pay the $12 because I'm afraid they're gonna. Am I gonna get like, what if I don't pay the $12 now what happens?

[Mark]

Don't do it.

[Brandon]

But it does probably feel better to just get that off your chest because like, I would do nothing as well. Right? I'm. I'm Stephen. Trying to track this laptop is crazy to me. You just gotta be like, it's gone.

[Eddie]

Yeah, you lost your.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you lost your laptop.

[Dave]

But I got DMS from people being like, oh, yeah, they do it with keychains, mugs, all this. They like get people all year long. Not just this group, but like the school photo groups send it cuz like they already paid to make it.

[Eddie]

What are they going to do thr dumpster?

[Nick]

Legally, they can't force you to give them $12, can they?

[Dave]

I'm going to find out because this time I'm putting my foot down. I'm going to pay it. Yeah, not going to pay the.

[Nick]

Don't pay them.

[Dave]

But then does the. Do the teachers think I'm a who stole?

[Nick]

They're already talking yourself out of it. Don't pay it.

[Brandon]

They for sure think you're a piss.

[Dave]

Me off Barksdale photogroup. Please reach out to me. I'd like to talk to you.

[Mark]

Are they not going to let your.

[Brandon]

Boy graduate bar still photo group? Please reach out. Kate would like to apologize to.

[Dave]

Because now I am like, oh, wait.

[Mark]

Let'S people work there. Can our booker get somebody that works?

[Brandon]

Yeah, let's get. Talk to them. Yeah, yeah. What if it turns out I'M an idiot right now.

[Dave]

I'm a dumb, dumb idiot.

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[Dave]

But it ticked me off. I feel like they got me.

[Mark]

There's been so many things that have happened to you where I would be pissed forever. And this is the one thing that you took online.

[Dave]

$12. I was just stunned because I was so. I was excited. I was like, look at his face in the heart. Come on. How cool. Fell for it.

[Eddie]

No, but if. If they would have just been straight up, would you have paid $12 for.

[Dave]

If they had sent home a piece of paper that was like, hey, we'll send you a magazine of Valentine's cards with your kid for $12. Let us know. I'd be like, okay. But they sent the whole thing, right?

[Eddie]

So it's the principal.

[Dave]

It's the principal. They knew what they were doing.

[Eddie]

Business practices.

[Dave]

Yes. They knew what they were doing. That's what made me mad. But if you're. If you work there and you're a good person, I'm sorry. People need. I'm sure they're all bad, but, you know.

[Mark]

No, we'll get somebody fired for you.

[Dave]

Thank you. Yeah. No, I'm just kidding. That's all right. That's okay.

[Brandon]

I got a question for you guys. Well, let me do AD and I got a question. A couple takes I want to get off. Roback Roebuck Activewear. Best fit, best feel. You all know Roback. Best hoodies and joggers in the game. But what you may not know is best pants in the game, too. The Roback Delta pants are incredible. Really great fabric and fit for every day. They have a really nice stretch waistband for when those LBs keep stacking on. Find us pairing Robax Fulton vests with these pants to complete the fit. The vest is perfect for the winter months. Has nice zipper pockets and stretched side panels so it's still comfortable and easy to move. It. Use code YAK for 20 off your first purchase. That's 20% off all pants, joggers, vests, and more. Just use code YAK and head over to roback.com rhobac.com right now. Did. Did Sam Darnold and Kenneth Walker go to Disney World or Disneyland?

[Eddie]

Land Land.

[Brandon]

So in California, right?

[Mark]

Land has. La. World has or.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

That's a punishment. I'm sorry. The fact that they have to go ride teacups right after winning the Super bowl, it's the last thing I'd.

[Nick]

They probably did, though.

[Brandon]

Dude, no way. I want to be with my boys. I want to look at that.

[Dave]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

They're hungover. They just won the Super Bowl. Then they gotta ride that.

[Mark]

They're not spinning the cup.

[Nick]

Do they have kids? No. Either one of them have to know.

[Brandon]

That that's a punishment, Brandon.

[Mark]

I said that on Web this morning.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

I said they should. They should say, where do you, like. What are you doing next?

[Nick]

Strip club.

[Mark]

I'm going home.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I'm going to take a nap.

[Kyle]

I'll go home with, like, a team of social people filming everything.

[Brandon]

Like, I. The last thing I'd want to do if I want a Super bowl is.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Because especially you. You have, like. When a team wins a championship, you have, like, three days to party with your boys until the parade, and then everyone splits up and some of these guys you'll never know be on a team with again. I don't want to go to Disney World during that time. I want to go party.

[Mark]

It's the last thing I'd want to do.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dave]

What are you saying? They have to. Is that. Did they have an ad deal with Disney or something?

[Brandon]

Yeah, they always.

[Dave]

Is it.

[Mark]

Is it like. Or is it tradition?

[Brandon]

I feel like it's tradition, but who. Who made it tradition and why do we keep doing it?

[Nick]

Late 80s. They made a tradition.

[Brandon]

Can you stop it?

[Nick]

Me?

[Brandon]

Yeah. You're James Sports.

[Nick]

No. I think it's awesome.

[Brandon]

You'd want to. Well, you're not for the boys.

[Nick]

I have kids, and I assume Sam. Donald probably has a kid.

[Brandon]

Like, he does not. I'm not even married.

[Mark]

I'm sure they could.

[Nick]

Well, that doesn't matter.

[Mark]

They could go to Disney World at any point in time. It's probably a pretty correct. It's probably a pretty shitty vacation.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Did other Seahawks go like that? Tweet, tweet. Made it seem like others. Just those two.

[Brandon]

It's always the mvp. And then I think they're like, well, no one knows who Kenneth Walker is. Not his helmet on. So we'll send Sam Darnold, too.

[Eddie]

Just those two? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

That's horrible.

[Brandon]

That's horrendous.

[Kyle]

I'd rather lose a close game, put up a good stat line.

[Brandon]

Yeah. At least I don't have to go to Disneyland.

[Mark]

Christian Gonzalez feels way better than those guys right now.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Also the. The interviews after the game. Those two gave us zero. Nothing. No emotion.

[Brandon]

The other take I had was, I'm not impressed by Mike Tirico, like, everyone just being like, holy what.

[Nick]

I'm turning to give you my full attention for this day.

[Brandon]

I'm Just not impressed with.

[Nick]

By going from super bowl to Olympics or.

[Brandon]

Yeah, everyone's like sucking his dick.

[Nick]

I think Mike Tirico is amazing.

[Brandon]

I has nothing to do with Mike Tirico, okay? Everyone's sucking his dick that he went from the suit, he called the super bowl, now he's in Milan. Dude, he took the nicest private jet there.

[Mark]

Gets right back to the motherland.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he probably slept. He probably had a bed on the jet.

[Mark]

Yeah, he gets to go to Italy after that.

[Nick]

But, but, but, but I think going from his super bowl preparation to the super bowl and then he probably just walked in and was smooth as doing the Olympics.

[Eddie]

He's not calling live on the field, Brandon.

[Nick]

Yeah, but he's still.

[Eddie]

I'm with you. I'm on your side, first of all. I'm on your side. Calm down.

[Nick]

Got it.

[Eddie]

Secondly, he was doing it live on the field. The super bowl ends. He does all the, the post game things and it's like. And of course, we throw it over to women's curling. That's incredible.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

How do you have all the prep and then be able to like.

[Nick]

He's so prepped and prepping shit.

[Brandon]

He's just standing in his studio being like, how do we go to this?

[Nick]

Tirico's as smooth as we got.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but he's not. He's not.

[Dave]

Dad.

[Eddie]

If you're going after, we have no one left.

[Brandon]

I'm not going to have. I want it very clear the Olympic stuff he's doing is not hard. I calling the Super Bowl.

[Nick]

Not that many people can do it.

[Brandon]

Everyone could do that.

[Nick]

You have to be gonna get the pronunciation. You have to have gravitas. You've got to have gravitas.

[Brandon]

All right, well, that's not. Dude, that's a different argument then, like, you want someone with gravitas. I agree. Mike. Mike Trigo's got a ton of gravitas. But the actual, like, skill work, it's not, it's not like he's like, oh, man, I can't believe I'm not ready for the Olympics.

[Nick]

He just stands in the.

[Brandon]

He stands in a nice suit. He says, all right, now we're gonna go out to slalom.

[Dave]

This is sounding like somebody who wants to be hosting the Olympics.

[Brandon]

I do not. I do not. Especially not the Winter Olympics.

[Stephen]

Did you think it was impressive when Kevin Burkhard did that World Series to call in whatever game for Fox?

[Brandon]

No. Joe Buck did it every year.

[Eddie]

Just not impressed.

[Jack]

I agree.

[Stephen]

I think I must.

[Brandon]

Those guys are super talented. And Mike Tirico is awesome at his job.

[Eddie]

Gravitas.

[Brandon]

I just don't. Everyone was like, I can't believe he. He went from LA to Italy. I can.

[Kyle]

What was not on a flight calling this very new sport to him. He has to learn the. Like.

[Brandon]

He's not calling a sport. He's not calling any of them. He's hosting.

[Nick]

He's. He's in the studio and. And being the hub for everything.

[Brandon]

He was calling. Yes, I'd agree.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That's. He's all of a sudden just calling women's luge again. This is not against Mike Tico. I love Mike Trico.

[Nick]

You're just not impressed that he.

[Brandon]

Kirk Herb street when. Kirk Herb Street. Like, look at all the travel I had to do. Yeah, I know, but it. It's your job. And it was. I don't know.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Hey, like, do we get credit for going to the Beck gala and then being back the next day?

[Jack]

Yes.

[Nick]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

I don't.

[Nick]

The Beck.

[Brandon]

I'll give myself credit for that.

[Nick]

Dude, I don't think we did do that.

[Brandon]

We did that.

[Jack]

Holy.

[Brandon]

We went Chicago, Beck gala.

[Mark]

Chicago right back to the show.

[Brandon]

How about that?

[Dave]

Look at me. Widespread panic. One arm catch in San Francisco. He's our Mike Tirico.

[Nick]

And now he's on his way to Turkey.

[Dave]

Turkey.

[Brandon]

I think if he had taken a commercial flight, I would give him a lot of credit, but I flown on the 37G.

[Nick]

Wait, what was your.

[Brandon]

You know, the difference, DJ, you know the difference between flying commercial and private?

[Nick]

Of course.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

It is incredible.

[Brandon]

It's like flying private is a treat.

[Nick]

I just think even private, just rolling off that jet, right into that studio, just being Mike Tirico is still.

[Brandon]

I want to know if there was a. If there was a. If there was a bed on that plane.

[Mark]

No. Yeah. You had a full night's sleep and got to wake up in Italy.

[Dave]

Dude.

[Brandon]

Imagine being able to be on a plane with a. A full bed. That would be the greatest travel ever.

[Nick]

I bet he did have a bed. Yeah, but.

[Brandon]

But, dude, I just. You all tuckered out and you just fall asleep for, you know, 13 hours. Oh, that would rock.

[Mark]

The sounds of a plane put me to sleep.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Donnie]

Calming.

[Nick]

I can't sleep on a plane.

[Mark]

Really?

[Brandon]

Oh, I cannot do it with a bed.

[Nick]

I can't sleep sitting up with a bed. You could with a bed. I could. Although I. Whenever I've had those bed. Those beds in first class.

[Brandon]

Those are amazing.

[Nick]

Still haven't fallen asleep. I can't sleep on a plane. I can't sleep on a moving vehicle if, like, we're in a car. I can't sleep in a car.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that's ideal.

[Mark]

Zah, did our cricket team beat India?

[Brandon]

Almost. Almost. One of the guys. One of the guys got injured. I forgot his name, but, yeah, it was a pretty. Pretty damn.

[Mark]

How big of an upset would that have been?

[Brandon]

That would have been insane. I mean, India cricket is. They're like. They're. They're. Who can I equate them? The Patriots? I guess they're the Patriots of cricket.

[Mark]

Like dynasty. Yeah. They win a lot of World Cups.

[Brandon]

Historic Patriots. Not. Not the season.

[Kyle]

India Cricket's the most popular team in the world.

[Brandon]

The most popular. All right, so if we did win that, would you. What? How much time would you spend thinking about that?

[Mark]

I. I would be way more interested.

[Brandon]

But would you actually, I'd be amped up. That'd be a passing thought.

[Mark]

It's like, I would care about soccer more if we won.

[Jack]

Be, like, the fourth bullet point on our prep sheet. Probably.

[Brandon]

Zah, I need. I. I want every soccer guy in this. In this company. I needed you to write down exactly what success would look like for the World cup because I do not want changing of any type of goal posts when we lose, when we tie Iran, and everyone's like, that was actually really good.

[Donnie]

Getting out the groups for me.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Mark]

Out the.

[Brandon]

Getting out the groups. Winning a knockout game. Yeah, that. That would. That would do wonders for. For soccer here because, I mean, Americans love the whole playoff win or go home aspect of things.

[Nick]

So getting out the groups and at least winning one.

[Brandon]

One knockout game. Yeah, we're gonna get out of the group, and then we're gonna lose to Morocco 2 to 1, and everyone's gonna be like, dude, that really.

[Mark]

Yeah, that's the best team ever had a performance generation art to finish.

[Nick]

Have you seen the hair guy?

[Mark]

Who's the hair guy?

[Nick]

Who's the hair guy for? Manchester United.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick]

There's a guy in England who vowed never to cut his hair.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah. Looks like Ethan.

[Mark]

I got it right.

[Brandon]

Nah. So number five is today. Number five is in. In an hour.

[Mark]

He's got to be hoping they lose, right? This is his livelihood.

[Brandon]

Absolutely.

[Nick]

I just don't understand his hair, that's all.

[Mark]

And it hasn't been that many days. That's not 492 days a hair. That's huge. Until Man United win five games in a row.

[Eddie]

It's like, curly, but not that curly.

[Mark]

Does he tease it up?

[Nick]

Took a while to get Going first year.

[Mark]

His hair grows fast.

[Eddie]

His hair's not curly.

[Mark]

I think he started a 106. A 100.

[Eddie]

How does his hair change?

[Kyle]

What is going.

[Brandon]

He looks like. I think I'm on a hater mode.

[Nick]

John Ralphio.

[Brandon]

He looks like. He's wearing, like, the. The. The Jewish hat.

[Nick]

Now. It's starting to get.

[Jack]

It's growing upwards, though.

[Nick]

That's what I don't understand. Why is it not growing down in the back?

[Dave]

It's gotta be blood.

[Nick]

Where's the mullet?

[Brandon]

All right, you want my hater take?

[Nick]

Yes.

[Brandon]

That's just a guy who needs to get some. Because if he had a woman in his life, no way would he allowed be allowed to do that.

[Jack]

Agreed.

[Brandon]

It's probably right just on haters. I'm. I don't know. What's this?

[Nick]

That was maybe post super, right?

[Kyle]

That was intense.

[Nick]

You should be a post every year.

[Brandon]

What?

[Nick]

You should be a post Super Bowl.

[Brandon]

I think I am.

[Nick]

Like, the week after the super bowl is just hating week.

[Brandon]

Well, like that guy, if he got his dick sucked, he'd shave his head in a minute.

[Mark]

But also, like, that's a challenge where he has to do nothing and gets attention.

[Brandon]

Right? Yeah. Join me. I mean, it's good to be a hater.

[Kyle]

Look, that's.

[Brandon]

No way.

[Mark]

I think that's like a British.

[Kyle]

That's like a John Mayer.

[Brandon]

No.

[Mark]

Yeah, that's like.

[Kyle]

Damn right.

[Mark]

Induces gasps when he walks around.

[Nick]

Should we.

[Mark]

Perfect specimen.

[Nick]

Should we check on Donnie?

[Brandon]

Yeah, let's see. Off Mark. Oh, he had that up earlier real quick.

[Dave]

Yeah, he's paranoid.

[Brandon]

He's watching.

[Eddie]

Watching the show.

[Nick]

Well, he's watching the show. He's not working.

[Brandon]

Mark, go up there and write like, I love idiot working idiot at work.

[Nick]

Tell him we need the whiteboard.

[Brandon]

Quiet. Idiot at work.

[Mark]

Just try to sneak up.

[Brandon]

No. Gay chef. Chef.

[Mark]

Gay chef at work.

[Brandon]

He just said it was out of nowhere. Don't call me gay chef.

[Mark]

It was nuts.

[Nick]

They say nobody's ever called me gay chef or something.

[Mark]

It was like he was.

[Nick]

Nobody calls me gay.

[Mark]

It was so, so wasted. And he was just like. Yeah. He's like, nobody's ever called me gay chef. What are you talking about?

[Nick]

There we go. Where's the marker, though? Oh, it's on the floor.

[Brandon]

Oh, no, no.

[Mark]

I wonder how locked in he is.

[Dave]

Oh, where is he sneaking?

[Nick]

Oh, Mark's trying to sneak, I think slowly. Oh, he's trying to not. He's trying to change the board without tipping off these there. That's going to Be impossible.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Jack]

That marker ruined his plan.

[Eddie]

This.

[Nick]

Wait a second.

[Brandon]

My God. Is he watching the show?

[Jack]

He's not even wearing headphones.

[Donnie]

Right.

[Eddie]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God.

[Jack]

This guy's something else.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God. How?

[Mark]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God. See, there's no way. Don't want him to figure it out. There's no way.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Jack]

G.

[Mark]

You made it.

[Eddie]

Wait for.

[Kyle]

Can't.

[Donnie]

Good work.

[Eddie]

I kept waiting for him to.

[Donnie]

Good.

[Brandon]

So good. Yep. That's where the camera is.

[Eddie]

Oh, I'm so excited.

[Nick]

He's got 21.

[Eddie]

No hints whatsoever as to what this could possibly be. Nobody knows.

[Brandon]

Oh, he. I mean, he didn't know until 20 minutes ago. He waits till the very last. He said to me yesterday, he's like, oh, I have a whole day. You're not gonna use it.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

You got a whole two weeks.

[Brandon]

Two weeks.

[Nick]

He's really cocky about his ability to throw it together in an hour.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Which I guess is better because he doesn't have any time to check it.

[Kyle]

Yeah, no, it's better.

[Nick]

Yeah. But last time he. He did an hour and he didn't show up till like, 1:25. So he can't do it in an hour.

[Brandon]

No, he's not capable.

[Mark]

I am trying to pinpoint where it all went wrong for him.

[Nick]

All right.

[Mark]

Yeah, I think it's in New York. He was like, a really, really regular guy.

[Brandon]

I think it goes back to the.

[Dave]

Nobody was hiding it.

[Nick]

The hypnotist.

[Brandon]

No, I think it goes back to the feet.

[Mark]

Is it when we found out he had small feet.

[Brandon]

And I just think just like his brother's having big, normal sized feet.

[Nick]

We don't know. Was in that limitless pill he took, though.

[Brandon]

Do you think it shrunk his feet?

[Mark]

That could have been it.

[Brandon]

If we had a feet shrinker pill. And we just started slipping it to him and he just.

[Nick]

Just keeps getting smaller.

[Brandon]

And he ended up just like a pirate with peg legs.

[Nick]

Baby feet.

[Mark]

We need to get that hypnotist on.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jack]

I think there's, like, a certain trigger. Like, and get out. When you tap the cup and he just snaps back into it.

[Nick]

I think there's a world where Donnie's the only person in the world that believes that guy is a hypnotist.

[Dave]

No, he was on Dr. Drew a ton.

[Nick]

Was he?

[Brandon]

Oh, yes. He's confirmed. Like, he's a medical scientist.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Mark]

TV doctor.

[Brandon]

Dr. Donnie came up to me after.

[Mark]

The episode and said, please don't reach out to him. Please don't antagonize that guy.

[Brandon]

Oh, man.

[Mark]

Donnie's horrified of that guy.

[Brandon]

That guy, yeah.

[Dave]

What was in those pills?

[Mark]

Well, I think that guy can just snap and turn Donnie into somebody else.

[Donnie]

Exactly.

[Brandon]

Into a frog.

[Nick]

Put him in his place.

[Brandon]

Starts hopping around.

[Nick]

What do you guys think today might be about?

[Brandon]

Science.

[Nick]

Yeah, but what's he own right now? Is he. Is it. Does he have a.

[Eddie]

Does he understand that? The point as I understand it at least, was he's pitching to you experiments that.

[Brandon]

He wants to get a grant. Yeah.

[Eddie]

He wants to get the grant. Correct. I don't think he's gonna understand that part.

[Kyle]

No.

[Brandon]

I think it's coming up with theories.

[Eddie]

He should be coming up with experiments that he could do.

[Donnie]

Right.

[Eddie]

Needs the money to do them.

[Dave]

I'd say. Magnets.

[Mark]

Magnets.

[Dave]

Magnets.

[Eddie]

There's just gonna be a slide. This is magnets?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Nothing else?

[Mark]

I think vibration plates are varying right now. I can see him wanting to get vibrated.

[Nick]

Yeah, I have one of those.

[Mark]

Do you?

[Brandon]

What?

[Nick]

Yeah, Josh Pate sent me one.

[Brandon]

A vibration plate.

[Dave]

They say it's good for bone density.

[Nick]

Yeah. I think it was his way of trying to tell me to get my fat ass in shape, but I don't know if that's what that leaves that's even for. And I don't know why he sent it to me.

[Mark]

It was nice.

[Nick]

Is he trying to kill me?

[Mark]

No, no, no. Just trying to jiggle you a little bit.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Eddie]

What do you. How does it work?

[Nick]

I don't know. It just vibrates. You.

[Eddie]

You stand on it.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You'll Babe Ruth workout.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah. I don't even know where it is. It's got to be at the house. I'll give it to Donnie. Did somebody say they talked to the. The Matt people and they. The mad people said, you don't have to be naked.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

They sent stuff.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mark]

But I don't. Yeah, he's gonna. He's gonna push back on that.

[Eddie]

He's gonna say, they don't know.

[Mark]

We were so banked on him having this for the show, and now we're just waiting.

[Nick]

Well, we gotta.

[Eddie]

It is better this way. But it's frustrating that it's not right.

[Brandon]

It's very frustrating. But when he knows what time the show starts and he in his head was like, yeah, I always do it at one.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

It's like, well, there's an alternative.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You guys ever. Big science fair guys.

[Kyle]

Back in the day, Nick was a champ.

[Mark]

Undefeated. Four years in a row.

[Kyle]

First place.

[Mark]

And then I went on to the States and I Was the only person in my category. I've told this story. And so I was like, oh, fuck, I'm going to nationals. Because, like, I'm the only person in my science category. It was. It was at West Liberty University and I presented my project. I was cocky as shit. I was planning. I was already planning, like, my school days off for going to the national science fair. And then the evening came where they were giving the awards and it got to my category and they announced that I got second place because I didn't meet a point threshold. So I had to go up and accept my medal and stand on a podium with nobody on one. Yeah, it was horrifying. It was social sciences. I did a science experiment in the mall where I dressed up as a. Like a punk once and then as like a clean cut boy and was asking the same person for the time.

[Kyle]

That's actually good.

[Eddie]

You got second in a one person.

[Mark]

Yeah. It was devastating.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Mark]

I'd go up on stage and like, my parents were there and people clapped, but there was. I was the only one on stage, on a podium. Oh, devastating it me up for good. Yeah. So that's my science.

[Kyle]

You were still really good.

[Nick]

You did four in a row.

[Mark]

Well, we. Yeah, you had to do it like sixth, seventh, eighth grade. And I won every year. Fifth, sixth, something.

[Nick]

What was your best one?

[Mark]

Judaism. Went to a Catholic school and I just did it on. I went to a bat mitzvah the summer before and I was like, this is. This is crazy because all the judges were priests and I did it on Judaism.

[Kyle]

What was your hypothesis?

[Mark]

Yeah, that these guys are on to something. It was just about it.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Jack]

You won the macro dosing one a couple times too, right?

[Nick]

Yeah, but yeah, no, no, that's just because Aryan likes you.

[Mark]

No, my first one was good.

[Nick]

What was your second one was I didn't do one. And Aaron was like, oh, I did.

[Mark]

Forget about that one. Yeah. No, my first one was good.

[Nick]

What was it?

[Mark]

It was on poster boards.

[Nick]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. That was damn good.

[Jack]

Kate and I won this year. No, we showed him. We did the signs of breasts and we lift. We had a bunch of boobs on the poster board and we started talking about all these facts about breasts, breastfeeding, blah, blah. And then at the end, we did a reveal. Like, how much did you guys actually remember while staring at these tits?

[Stephen]

Whoa.

[Kyle]

It's a good experiment.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Dave]

They didn't retain a thing.

[Nick]

No.

[Mark]

Wow.

[Jack]

All right, Donnie.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Che. Pop quiz.

[Kyle]

More.

[Brandon]

More. Dominant franchise since 2000. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Seattle Seahawks.

[Stephen]

Both have two Super Bowls.

[Brandon]

Okay. More dominant since 2000.

[Stephen]

Yeah, probably the Seahawks. The Bucks were terrible. We didn't make the plays, like, 13 years.

[Nick]

Seahawks actually also went to a third Super Bowl. Went to a fourth. Oh, four. Yeah. They lost two.

[Brandon]

That's right.

[Stephen]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick]

So they have four NFC championships to year two.

[Stephen]

Yeah. No, that's fair. Seahawks are a good franchise. Their fans are kind of annoying.

[Nick]

Have they passed you?

[Brandon]

Why. Why haven't. I haven't come across any of their fans.

[Stephen]

Yeah. So I went to Super Bowl 48, which was at MetLife, and Seahawks fans stand the whole game. That seems fine if you're a neutral fan.

[Brandon]

Well, yeah.

[Stephen]

And you're not in, like, a Seahawks section is pretty annoying.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I got no problem with the fans.

[Mark]

I think the twelves thing is kind of. Kind of annoying.

[Eddie]

There's. They were standing. That was the issue the whole game.

[Nick]

They're at a football game.

[Brandon]

Yeah, they're at a football game. Their team's in the Super Bowl.

[Nick]

You wouldn't. You wouldn't last at a college football game.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that's.

[Nick]

That's. That's.

[Donnie]

Or.

[Brandon]

Or a concert is.

[Stephen]

It was a neutral, neutral field.

[Eddie]

That makes me like it more.

[Nick]

Right, but they're. They're not neutral. They're.

[Brandon]

They're.

[Nick]

They're at their team's game.

[Stephen]

Yeah, but you can understand how that could be a normal.

[Brandon]

You don't get rights to the field because it's neutral.

[Jack]

And was it all that?

[Nick]

Did you say? Excuse me, guys, Listen, I'm not a fan of either team. Please sit down.

[Stephen]

He was the only dude standing in the whole section.

[Mark]

It was one guy.

[Stephen]

It was one guy.

[Brandon]

Oh, so there's one Seahawk fan that's annoying?

[Stephen]

No, but, like, they all were in different sections, but I think it was like, Seahawks groups over here. This guy just had a random ticket with.

[Eddie]

Oh, all the Seahawks fans stand. But this. There's only one guy in your section.

[Nick]

I see where that would be annoying if. It would be annoying if there's a section of all Seahawks fans are all standing and this one guy's in section of everybody else, and he's standing.

[Brandon]

Did you give him a down in front still?

[Nick]

I guess it's.

[Stephen]

Yeah, we. We had a little. A little disagreement.

[Brandon]

What happened?

[Nick]

Little tip for tip.

[Stephen]

It just became a kind of a yelling match.

[Brandon]

And you yelled at Seahawks fan.

[Stephen]

Super annoying.

[Nick]

Did he win or did you win?

[Stephen]

I mean, he didn't stop standing.

[Kyle]

Oh, so he bodied you a yelling match?

[Stephen]

Yeah, I mean, it's Like a one.

[Eddie]

Lifetime event is standing, like, their thing.

[Stephen]

And it's not even. It's like, during all of gameplay. So it's like. Or not even all game, but, like, it's during timeouts. It's during it. Like, dude, chill out.

[Brandon]

We're so. What. At what point you have this argument.

[Nick]

We gotta send you to an SEC game, second quarter.

[Brandon]

And then he stood the rest of the time in your face.

[Stephen]

He was saying he's gonna stand the whole time.

[Brandon]

Was it right in front of you?

[Stephen]

It was one row in front, one over. But, like, that's a good part of.

[Brandon]

The field, what he said. I'm gonna stand right in you. Right. I'm gonna stand you like, dude, Seahawks fan.

[Stephen]

We stay in the whole game.

[Brandon]

It's like, oh, that's awesome.

[Eddie]

But if you're. If the Bucks are in the super bowl and you're doing like that and a fan, like a guy from. You know, if I was Dallas to sit next to you, and. And he's just. You know, he just bought a ticket to come to the game.

[Brandon]

Can you keep. Sir, can you please stop doing karate in my face?

[Eddie]

Yeah. And he said that. Like, how do you handle that?

[Stephen]

I think that's a fair objection. If I'm doing that for the entire game.

[Brandon]

And you do.

[Nick]

You would be.

[Stephen]

No, I don't do that the entire game. I do. If my team gets a first down.

[Nick]

If they get 29 first downs for.

[Stephen]

The Pats, that happen four times the first half.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Nick]

But if your team got 29 first downs, you do it 29 times.

[Stephen]

Sure.

[Eddie]

That's.

[Brandon]

Oh, man. I. Now I'm rooting for, like, a Bucks playoff game where they get, like, four first downs. I've even like, third quarter. He's still. I'm fresh. And it's like, dude, you're losing by a hundred.

[Nick]

I think I'm on both sides here. I'm on both sides. I support all fans.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Nick]

To stand. But if you're the one guy in a section.

[Stephen]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You could have.

[Mark]

I'm on.

[Nick]

Why don't you get a ticket in the Seahawks?

[Brandon]

I'm on the Seahawks fan side simply because even yelled at him, and the guy said, I'm gonna stand the whole game. And there's nothing Stephen could do.

[Mark]

I can't hear yelling.

[Brandon]

Match.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Mississippi State was in the national championship, and you were standing for the game.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Someone that doesn't care about either team told. Sit down.

[Nick]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon]

A neutral observer. Jaguar hair shows up.

[Nick]

You're right.

[Stephen]

If you're like, Three rows from the top of the stadium, and there's one guy in front of you standing the whole time. And there's several sections that are supposed to be Seahawks fans only.

[Brandon]

Oh, you're seeing that bad?

[Stephen]

Yeah, horrible.

[Nick]

How much did they cost you?

[Stephen]

We won the fan lottery, so. Got them for, like, under faces. 500 a ticket.

[Brandon]

Oh, I don't think you can complain with fan lottery.

[Stephen]

Yeah, no, it was awesome experience, but that guy, you know, so. So that's a little respect for people around you.

[Kyle]

You with your wife?

[Stephen]

No, I was with a buddy out.

[Brandon]

On Seahawks fans forever.

[Kyle]

It.

[Nick]

Yeah, those guys. Okay.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Nick]

Now I'm back on chase side.

[Brandon]

Nice. Yeah, I don't really know any.

[Mark]

I never knew Seahawk fans had the reputation of being annoying.

[Dave]

I think that is. Genuinely standing the whole time is one of their things that they, like, pride themselves on is that they sit down.

[Brandon]

Exhausting.

[Kyle]

That's. That kind of sucks.

[Dave]

I bet there's a bunch of them that are like, can we stop doing this now? But they're too afraid to say, yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, there's nothing. There's nothing better than when you, like, get to a big game and, like, everyone's standing for the first play, and you're like, are we gonna. And then everyone sits, and you're like, oh, thank God we're not doing this all game.

[Dave]

Same thing with the church. Sometimes back in the day, there's always one hero who finally sat, and everybody's.

[Brandon]

Like, oh, thank God. Yeah. They tell every standing is really shitty.

[Dave]

Yeah, standing sucks.

[Brandon]

It's actually one of the worst things you could do for your body.

[Mark]

I guess Americans are the only people that lean.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we are.

[Kyle]

We've been told.

[Mark]

I love leaning.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I love it. I love sitting. I love laying. Standing. Not for me.

[Mark]

I think I like sitting more than laying.

[Brandon]

Oh, I love laying.

[Dave]

Nice. In between a good recline. Give me a lazy boy.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Stephen]

Any of you adults have beanbag chairs?

[Brandon]

No.

[Nick]

Any who else is in the room?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Wait. Right.

[Stephen]

Well, no. Like, I mean, they're not viewed as an adult thing, but, I mean.

[Nick]

No, but the way you asked it, beanbag chairs suck.

[Mark]

I have an enormous one in the basement.

[Nick]

Oh, no, they suck. I don't think they suck.

[Brandon]

They're supposed to be, like, futuristic and cool. A regular chair doesn't need to be reinvented.

[Nick]

They suck getting in and out of. But when you're in them, they're.

[Brandon]

They're not that comfortable.

[Dave]

My uncle had, like, ginormous, like, biggest ones you've ever seen in his basement for watching movies. And it kind of was great.

[Brandon]

Flop.

[Mark]

I have one of those in my bed.

[Nick]

Mike Tirico and beanbags.

[Brandon]

Listen.

[Mark]

Yeah, that's a weird hill to die on.

[Brandon]

I would rather like. Give me any. You would. If you. If I put a comfortable chair next to a beanbag chair, you'd always pick the comfortable chair.

[Nick]

That's fine. But that doesn't mean beanbag chairs suck. But you can't just add the. Like, if I. If I put it. Oh, if I put a Ferrari but next to a Corvette, you're probably getting in the Ferrari. But a Corvette's a hell of a.

[Mark]

What if it's a chair next to.

[Jack]

A comfortable beanbag but you have no back.

[Brandon]

I'd take the chair.

[Mark]

You would not. Yes, I would take a metal fold.

[Brandon]

Out over, get all the way in. And then you gotta like jostle.

[Nick]

Yeah. But when you're in. When you're in, it's great.

[Dave]

I got my goddaughter, a giant one. And then the following year I got her because you got to keep it fluffed. You got to get replacement beans for the inside. There's Styrofoam back of my old Honda crv. And then I just kept forgetting to give it to her. So this bag of like 1 million beans kind of exploded in my car. And for two years after that, anytime I drove with the windows down, it was like I was in a snow globe.

[Nick]

You just shedding. Shedding Styrofoam.

[Dave]

Styrofoam balls everywhere. Because the vacuum there was so many and they stuck to everything. It was like there was nothing I could do.

[Brandon]

Do we have a beanbag here?

[Dave]

If you get a good one.

[Brandon]

We have here that I could try. I'll give you my honest review. We have to have one, right? Is anyone. Gambling cave. Can you find me a beanbag chair? Holy. That's dark. Yeah.

[Mark]

What's going on?

[Dave]

Yeah, it's like cockroaches in there.

[Brandon]

Now they're going to find a beanbag.

[Dave]

They're scattered.

[Jack]

I don't think so.

[Eddie]

Bloodman feels like he would know where a bean.

[Brandon]

How do we not have a beanbag chair here?

[Donnie]

I feel like maybe because they sponsored.

[Mark]

Like a raisin cane's one or something in the gambling cave.

[Brandon]

Ping pong sucks too. Whoa.

[Nick]

Come on.

[Kyle]

I think they are similar.

[Brandon]

Yeah. You see them together, you get so excited. They go together. Ping pong. Ping pong and bean bike chairs go together. They both suck. Yeah.

[Nick]

Ping pong is awesome. You're not going to hate on ping Pong.

[Jack]

The idea of them both is a lot cooler.

[Brandon]

No ping pong. Ping pong. Like, beer pong is better than ping pong.

[Nick]

It's not.

[Brandon]

That's what you use a ping pong table for.

[Nick]

It's not.

[Eddie]

Beer pong kind of sucks.

[Brandon]

No, beer pong does not suck.

[Mark]

Does suck.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You guys suck at beer pong.

[Mark]

No, I don't like playing people that like beer pong. People that like beer pong are my least favorite people to play with beer pong with.

[Eddie]

That's a great. I would play beer pong with people that hate beer pong.

[Nick]

Yes.

[Eddie]

But people who are excited to play beer pong.

[Donnie]

Elbow.

[Brandon]

You know, the dartboard's. The plastic dark Redemption sucks.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah. Never do that.

[Nick]

Yeah. Can I go give him a five minute warning?

[Brandon]

Sure.

[Jack]

All right.

[Nick]

Also, can I. Can I go pee? That's what.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I think, man, I've got some heat going.

[Dave]

Let it out. What else is on your mind?

[Brandon]

I think pool tables and houses kind of suck too, because it's never enough room.

[Kyle]

If I had to, like, bend my.

[Brandon]

Yeah, right. Like, I like pool. Throw it out in a pool hall. But like, when you're like, oh, my basement has a pool table. It's probably gonna suck because you're probably gonna be like, oh, I gotta bend around here.

[Mark]

You're naming things that visually look better in basements than they are in practice.

[Brandon]

Right. You think it's so sick. And then you walk in, you're like, this actually isn't that cool?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Jack]

You're using it as an actual table 95 of the time.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Right.

[Mark]

Are people still putting Jacuzzi tubs in?

[Kyle]

Oh, that's horrible too.

[Mark]

Yeah, nobody ever has indoor.

[Brandon]

Yes. Outdoor.

[Eddie]

Great.

[Brandon]

Outdoor. Incredible or amazing. Indoor.

[Dave]

So much water for one bath.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Mark]

The jets are always broke. That's a fail.

[Brandon]

Are you talking about the tubs that are.

[Mark]

That have the jets?

[Brandon]

Like, not a. Not an actual Jacuzzi?

[Mark]

Yeah, just a tub with tubs of jets.

[Brandon]

Agreed with you there. And you have to get, like, to a certain level. Otherwise, just spit in there.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Did he just say you're crazy?

[Brandon]

Name something else.

[Kyle]

All of those, like, tricked out fantasy Airbnbs. Fill me with.

[Brandon]

They suck, dude.

[Eddie]

It's.

[Brandon]

Oh, you're gonna go this Airbnb. And they have a. Dude.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Four pack adults.

[Mark]

Oh, dude, the. The Arcade one Up machine.

[Nick]

Yes.

[Mark]

They're just like a little bit smaller. Arcade cabinet.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah. They're like, oh, go rent this Airbnb because we've got Ninja Turtles in Not. It's not the real arcade game. It's the smaller version. It just sucks.

[Mark]

I went.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Like, I went Airbnb for a buddy's bachelor party and it was like, yeah, they have Ms. Pac Man.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Oh, they got. Oh, they got Gigantic Connect four.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Never gonna use it. No.

[Kyle]

We're gonna do cocaine and talk about private equity.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good. I feel. This feels good.

[Mark]

I just stayed at a place in Napa with pickleball, though, and that was amazing. Got up and played pickleball.

[Brandon]

Maybe we should do a special show next week where we all just come with a list of things we hate.

[Dave]

Hater day.

[Brandon]

Yeah, just a straight up hater day.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

And just be like that.

[Mark]

Military homecoming videos.

[Dave]

It kind of wore out there doesn't.

[Donnie]

Do it for me anymore.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Mark]

Whatever could be in this giant box.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Mark]

They're not actually surprised.

[Kyle]

And this box on my.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

This dad sized box.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Why is it. Why is that 50 year old man have a tuba? Is it like, like when they, like, they'll put like a military guy in like 20 band.

[Kyle]

Which offshoot has never seen that.

[Brandon]

Never seen that?

[Nick]

No, never.

[Brandon]

They'll be like, the military guy will come out of the band. Or like, they'll come out of, you know. Oh, I haven't seen Surprise.

[Kyle]

I just.

[Mark]

Ads and boxes.

[Brandon]

Yeah. The boxes are stupid tubas. Who cares?

[Mark]

Tuba.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Trumpet. That's what. That's a instrument. Trumpet in a saxophone. Saxophone is an instrument. It.

[Mark]

I'm. I kind of like the tuba. The tuba is great just for like, fat guy sound effects.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you got me there. But isn't that. Isn't that better with a trombone? That one? Okay. Yeah, maybe. All right. I strike my tube of hate off the record.

[Kyle]

Okay. Piano. For someone who's like, not a very trained pianist, piano is one of those.

[Brandon]

Ones that I always wish I could play. I think piano I just have a lot of respect for.

[Kyle]

I like.

[Brandon]

I think when someone's playing a piano, I think genius.

[Kyle]

I like piano just as a, like a piece of decor. I think it really makes a place.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Better.

[Mark]

It takes up a lot of space, too.

[Kyle]

Worth the space, I guess.

[Mark]

It's really easy to get a piano for free because people don't want to move them. If you go on, like, Facebook, Marketplace, millions of free pianos.

[Eddie]

Interesting.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Violins. No.

[Mark]

Really?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You're just hating on everything.

[Mark]

Yeah, I think it's a hot girl instrument.

[Brandon]

But like, I played a violin. Innocent.

[Dave]

Played the viola for many years.

[Brandon]

Oh, viola. A violinist. The ugly Girl in a symphony. Awesome. A violin solo. No.

[Nick]

That's beautiful.

[Jack]

It's like, rare enough to kind of be cool.

[Mark]

If you hear it like in a subway station, it's like. It's kind of beautiful.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but those are the guys doing, like the rock violins, I think.

[Kyle]

Like classical.

[Eddie]

Yeah. You go to a wedding and they're playing pop songs, but they're playing it slowly on a violin.

[Brandon]

But that's multiple instruments. That does one singular violin, right?

[Eddie]

Oh, it's one violin.

[Brandon]

I don't like that.

[Eddie]

An Asian lady playing violin.

[Nick]

I'd like to.

[Brandon]

There's always an Asian lady.

[Nick]

Can I report some disappointing news?

[Mark]

What?

[Brandon]

Yeah. He's not going to be ready.

[Nick]

Said five minute warning. He said no ten minute warning.

[Eddie]

Okay. He's not ready.

[Nick]

So apparently so. 105 is his death. So 105. We got to go get him.

[Brandon]

Give me some more things.

[Kyle]

A heavy bag. Don't train boxing in front of me.

[Brandon]

I see that.

[Kyle]

I don't shadow box and don't hit it in front of me.

[Brandon]

Don't have a natural feeling one way or the other. But I see that. Oh, the. The speed bag. No one knows how to use that, like, correctly.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

When used correctly, it's so cool. Pool. But like having that in your. In your garage.

[Nick]

Like, bro, you're not doing the layman. Can't do it.

[Kyle]

I don't want to. I don't want to be at a gym in my apartment and watch you train box.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

What about a heavy bag just at your house?

[Mark]

I think there's a lot of things people add to their house to put off buying a pool that try to make the fun.

[Brandon]

Yes. Yes.

[Mark]

It's a pool table with Pac man.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Mark]

It's beanbag chairs. It's a movie projector.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jack]

Better.

[Mark]

Every TV is better than a movie projector.

[Brandon]

So stupid.

[Nick]

Yeah, guys, you're just hating.

[Eddie]

I don't know what's going on.

[Donnie]

It's crazy.

[Nick]

Everything you just mentioned was awesome.

[Stephen]

Get a pool.

[Nick]

A heavy bag is awesome. Pool table is awesome.

[Brandon]

Grown up.

[Mark]

You want to be the fun house? Get a swimming.

[Brandon]

We're hit on pool.

[Nick]

We're hitting on movie projectors.

[Eddie]

We should have known when they started out. He opened up with Disneyland sucks. And Mike Turko.

[Nick]

Yeah, Mike Tirico and.

[Brandon]

Yeah, let's just get the hate out.

[Nick]

You guys have giant tribe sucks.

[Brandon]

By the way, giant chess is so stupid.

[Nick]

You guys just described the greatest house.

[Brandon]

Stupid giants.

[Mark]

How old are your. Are your boys playing with the arcade machine a lot.

[Brandon]

How often playing Pool.

[Nick]

We play cat. We play a lot. We play pool probably once or twice a week. We don't play pools, but we do play pool and we play ping pong a lot. We play all these.

[Mark]

You know what's cool?

[Brandon]

Do you know what you should get instead of ping pong table and a pool table? A bowling alley. That's cool.

[Mark]

That's the fun.

[Nick]

If we had a bowling alley, you.

[Brandon]

Would hate bowling alley. Clears all of them.

[Mark]

The maintenance would be right there.

[Kyle]

A bowling.

[Brandon]

That's something you could use.

[Mark]

Skee ball would be fun.

[Brandon]

Nah.

[Nick]

Damn.

[Brandon]

Nah.

[Eddie]

We got to get.

[Stephen]

I got a house take.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Stephen]

When I'm home by myself, I don't use any lights.

[Brandon]

What do you mean, house t?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen]

It's just dark.

[Brandon]

You're just the whole house.

[Stephen]

Yeah. I mean the. During daylight, but then at night time, no lights.

[Brandon]

That's. That's stupid.

[Jack]

Why you're running into.

[Brandon]

What do you mean? Like, you're just sitting in a dark.

[Stephen]

Room watching TV or something.

[Brandon]

But that's. Sure that's providing light. Are you. Are you like. Kitchen is dark. Yeah.

[Jack]

You're cooking in the dark.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Stephen]

There's no lights. I'm not. I'm not cooking after dark. If I need like a small thing for cooking, it's usually a microwave or oven. But yeah.

[Brandon]

When I'm home alone with the door open. Now that's.

[Mark]

Oh, I still close and lock when I.

[Brandon]

That's the best shim with the door open.

[Mark]

That just stinks up the whole house.

[Brandon]

I love it.

[Mark]

It's the one thing you.

[Brandon]

I was here.

[Mark]

A house that smells like over pink.

[Brandon]

Tell. I was here. Yeah. What else? What else they got?

[Mark]

Mark, Say something you hate.

[Kyle]

Like a wife. That's like too nice.

[Brandon]

Yeah. He's like, oh, what do you want to drink?

[Kyle]

What do you want?

[Brandon]

What do you always showing me up?

[Kyle]

Serving you. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah. When a guest comes, like, what do you want to drink? And I. I forgot.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I don't know. The kitchen's right there. Go get something to drink, dude.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You guys are just saying sentences now. They have no logic behind them whatsoever.

[Brandon]

I feel like I'm in a flow state though, of hate. I like it. Yeah. Say something, Mark. Say something.

[Eddie]

Lucas.

[Brandon]

Hate it.

[Mark]

Oh, hey.

[Brandon]

It's raining in Hawaii.

[Mark]

I'm glad about it.

[Brandon]

So happy. Oh, yeah, it was raining. Love it, bro.

[Jack]

Bought an umbrella, did he? Yeah. Not shocking you?

[Nick]

What can I hate a little bit? Yes.

[Brandon]

It feels good. We're just getting off. Silly fate.

[Nick]

We get done with the super bowl, right?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

You and PFT take these well needed, well deserved vacations.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And Lucas and Mikey Betts are in Hawaii and Florida.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I know them. I agree. Fuck them. Okay? Fuck them.

[Nick]

Lucas took a vacation. A post.

[Brandon]

I'll defend because that still looks great working for Frank. He should take more of it. Vacation.

[Nick]

He should be on the che plan.

[Brandon]

Lucas, he has to work one night a week. He probably does other stuff that I'm not realizing, but I don't care. I'm gonna keep it to one night.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And all he has to do there is just change rules.

[Mark]

Torture Tate and then.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And change the rules.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Every single stream.

[Nick]

Can everybody say happy birthday to my sister, please?

[Brandon]

I already did.

[Mark]

I did too.

[Dave]

Birthday, Kate.

[Kyle]

Happy birthday.

[Jack]

I remembered this year.

[Brandon]

I did before you.

[Mark]

You ask her for a dog every. She asks you for a dog every year?

[Nick]

No, she's been asking me for a dog for a while, but she never makes me pull the trigger on.

[Mark]

Makes you pull.

[Nick]

No, she never. I say, all right, let me know when you're ready for the dog. I'll pay. I got the money ready. Just tell me when. And she never tells me if she wants the dog. I'll pay for the dog right now. If she'll. If she wants to dog.

[Brandon]

I do hate having to be in a room when other people wish a happy birthday. Then you have to. I want to be able to do it on my own.

[Nick]

But what if you wouldn't do it? What if you would forget? What if you need the memory jogged?

[Brandon]

Who cares?

[Nick]

There you go.

[Brandon]

But like being like the, like you walk in a room and like, oh, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. And you're like, guess I have to say it too now.

[Mark]

Yeah, same with chat.

[Kyle]

Don't cut the cake for me.

[Brandon]

No.

[Mark]

What?

[Nick]

Yeah, don't.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And I want a big slice.

[Mark]

Yeah, you do.

[Brandon]

Don't be like, oh, you want the big small. I want a big slice. Yeah, I got my hate up. I like this. Feels good.

[Nick]

It's 105.

[Brandon]

TJ give me something I know you got. You got a lot of you like.

[Mark]

I hate your apartment being flooded.

[Brandon]

Oh, oh, oh. I kind of like that.

[Donnie]

I hate that my apartment's flooded.

[Nick]

Right Is Jim Halpert right now.

[Dave]

What happened?

[Donnie]

There's just like a bunch of water.

[Mark]

In my apartment right now.

[Brandon]

That would be flooded.

[Mark]

There's a bunch of guys in my.

[Donnie]

Apartment, like working on it, I think, but I'm not.

[Mark]

Hopefully it's not that bad.

[Brandon]

But that sounds like it's flooded.

[Donnie]

Yeah, there's a bunch of water in my apartment.

[Mark]

Right. Like literally right the second.

[Brandon]

Damn.

[Jack]

Where's it coming from?

[Donnie]

The wall. Oh.

[Mark]

Did you get out all your Japanese figurines?

[Kyle]

Nah.

[Nick]

Oh, no.

[Dave]

Remember that happened to Big T because somebody and you.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Dave]

Right.

[Kyle]

It did. Yeah.

[Dave]

Somebody was trying to put a bidet in.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Install a bidet by themselves.

[Dave]

Yeah. I can't do that.

[Kyle]

Let it like 20 units.

[Dave]

That's crazy.

[Kyle]

Yeah. What color is the water?

[Brandon]

DJ Whiteish.

[Donnie]

Like a little murky.

[Dave]

Oh.

[Kyle]

Oh, that's.

[Dave]

Oh. Does Pete live above, like, clear?

[Mark]

Oh, yeah. Pete's Brita tip.

[Donnie]

Oh. So, yeah, hopefully I have an apartment that's.

[Dave]

Sorry, dude.

[Brandon]

And imagine if you had. Imagine if you just had a shitload of beanbag chairs. They'd be ruined.

[Mark]

They'd be all, soak it up.

[Brandon]

Totally makes no sense. Yeah. By the way, Wayfair, the new year is here. Get back in into any. Into an at home routine you love and elevate your space with Wayfair. From bedding and mattresses to storage solutions for every room in the house, Wayfair is your one stop shop. Refresh your living room with accent pillows, mirrors and faux plants for way less storage for every space. Storing outdoor furniture, bathroom, kitchen essentials for easy weeknight dinners. Work from home. Study setups, desks, office chairs, bookcases. All of it. Wayfair. Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year. For way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W a Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. Here's a. Here's a opposite hate. You ready for this?

[Mark]

Not even near.

[Brandon]

You know, like the trope, the cliche. Oh, my wife has so many pillows on the. On the bed. It's the worst.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I love pillows. Give me as many pillows as you want.

[Kyle]

There's like 12.

[Mark]

What about like useless pillows that are made of burlap?

[Brandon]

And I have like throw them to the side.

[Donnie]

I don't care.

[Brandon]

But I like.

[Mark]

I don't like those.

[Brandon]

Oh, I like pillows. Yeah, I like pillows. I think that's a stupid cliche. I think most guys like pillows. They just don't want to admit it.

[Dave]

You don't want to plop on them.

[Kyle]

I think four is plenty.

[Mark]

What about couch pillows?

[Brandon]

The more the merrier.

[Mark]

Do you grab one and put it over your belly?

[Brandon]

I do everything you hate.

[Nick]

Disneyland, Mike Tirico. And I don't hate my beanbag chairs. But you pro pillow love pillow.

[Brandon]

I'M as pro pillow as you get.

[Mark]

A beanbag chair is a big pillow.

[Brandon]

The more pillows, the better.

[Mark]

Pillow fights have never been fun.

[Nick]

They're fun for the first hit and.

[Mark]

Then somebody takes it too.

[Nick]

Then it gets too fat, too far.

[Brandon]

Oh, I, Yeah, see, look, this is good. I totally disagree. I think pillow fights are awesome. You get it balled up at the bottom.

[Mark]

That's up. Yeah. It gets out of hand too fast. Yeah, you got. Not doing.

[Brandon]

Ah. Yeah, see, that was fine. Okay.

[Nick]

All right.

[Brandon]

I don't care. It's a pillow, dude. What a pill going to hurt you.

[Nick]

All right.

[Brandon]

Soft as a pillow.

[Kyle]

Tj.

[Donnie]

What did you say? I hate how expensive it is to go to a wedding.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

My bullshit is getting married in two weeks. I think I'm out fifteen hundred dollars.

[Brandon]

Yep. Bullshit.

[Donnie]

Hotel, flights, tuxedo, bachelor party gift.

[Brandon]

Yup. Agreed.

[Kyle]

But it's.

[Brandon]

No, it's stupid.

[Eddie]

It is.

[Nick]

Weddings are bullshit.

[Brandon]

Just have it at a bar.

[Dave]

That's what my cousin this summer during our Jersey Shore vacation week is getting married at our favorite bar.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Dave]

And I feel like the whole family has never looked forward to anything more.

[Brandon]

Yes. It's the best.

[Dave]

Can't wait.

[Brandon]

I'm excited. Sweating was awesome.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah. That's what I did.

[Brandon]

It's the best.

[Eddie]

Thanks.

[Brandon]

Just have dinner and get drunk with your friends. That's the memories you want to make.

[Eddie]

Was a good time.

[Dave]

People do talk about that as being a good time.

[Donnie]

It's.

[Dave]

Yes, you're hearing that or I've heard that. Like Brandon was talking about how trashed he got at your wedding.

[Nick]

Oh, my wife did.

[Dave]

Yeah. Everybody's happy.

[Nick]

I got pretty drunk.

[Eddie]

Can I say I went to dinner last night. Since the baby just come into my life, we, we don't get out much. We don't go to nice dinners. But my mother in law was in town. She was helping the wife while we were in the super bowl, you know, so she's still here. So my wife and I went out to a nice dinner the first time. And I got wine, I got a glass of wine. I, I did it all. I, I, I, I've been, I've been ianified. I have. I was sitting there, I'm in the restaurant, just.

[Mark]

Did you tilt? Going color.

[Eddie]

I'm tilting, I'm triangling. I'm sticking my nose in it.

[Mark]

Did you check the meniscus?

[Eddie]

And I'm looking around and obviously no one in the else in the restaurant is doing this. I was like, I know Ian Cobble.

[Kyle]

And you people don't amazing.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it was awesome. It was the first time I've done it outside of. Outside of this setting.

[Kyle]

I'm looking forward to that.

[Jack]

He's on the move.

[Mark]

Where's he going now?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I haven't done that yet. I'm gonna do that.

[Eddie]

I did it wild. And I was weekend and I ordered. I ordered a cab and I correctly guessed it was a cab that they brought.

[Donnie]

Whoa.

[Eddie]

They brought. So they brought the glass of wine and I was supposed.

[Mark]

They didn't mess up your order.

[Eddie]

Like that's a cab. And they're like, it is.

[Kyle]

You got it right?

[Eddie]

They got Bingo. Yeah.

[Nick]

Gotta get your fucking ass in here.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Nick]

What are you doing? What are you doing? You're supposed to be here at 1 o'.

[Brandon]

Clock.

[Dave]

Is he just eating snacks walking around.

[Donnie]

When I want to show up?

[Nick]

What?

[Donnie]

Jack McCarthy says I don't take any shit from you anymore. Especially you.

[Nick]

But. But yeah, you agreed to do this and you had two weeks.

[Brandon]

I will do it on my time.

[Eddie]

This is for your benefit, doc.

[Nick]

What do you mean your time? We have a show every day from 12 to 2.

[Brandon]

Your time.

[Donnie]

Hey, I'm ready.

[Brandon]

But like, are you ready to do it?

[Donnie]

Yeah, it's done.

[Nick]

Okay, then why are you yelling?

[Kyle]

Dive into it.

[Donnie]

I'm ready.

[Mark]

This is like you could follow your passion and get unlimited funding.

[Brandon]

Let's. Let's come in a better headspace.

[Donnie]

I'm in a good headspace.

[Brandon]

You're not eating pirates booty and screaming at us.

[Nick]

What were you doing over there?

[Brandon]

Just to angrily eating pirate's booty.

[Donnie]

Okay, I'm ready to go now.

[Brandon]

It's not a snack. You eat in an angry state of mind.

[Donnie]

I'm not even angry.

[Mark]

How can we go into this with a good state of mind? You want to talk about something that makes you happy?

[Donnie]

No, I'm good.

[Brandon]

How you. Oh, I hear something. You would have dominated flag football.

[Nick]

Would have been awesome.

[Donnie]

I'm not. I'm not going down that road.

[Brandon]

Oh, you should have been.

[Eddie]

He would have been. Yeah, you would have been.

[Kyle]

You think you.

[Donnie]

No, I don't. I don't even want to go down this road.

[Kyle]

I'm trying to think if you'd be.

[Donnie]

No, it looked like a fun week. It looked like an awesome time, actually.

[Brandon]

You.

[Nick]

You chose to start this project an hour.

[Donnie]

I didn't.

[Nick]

Yeah, how'd you not.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I chose to start an hour ago. Sure, but what is that supposed to mean?

[Brandon]

Yeah, exactly what you said, Brandon. You were right. But what does that.

[Nick]

It means that's why? You're late right now.

[Donnie]

I'm not late. I'm on time. I said 115. You said one and I said 115.

[Brandon]

You did say one.

[Donnie]

Well, 115, it's. What are we arguing over? It's semantics.

[Nick]

Have you got it ready? Well, no, it's.

[Brandon]

That's actually a good way to. Yeah, I guess. I guess if you're ever late, just be like. What are we arguing over here? Semantics. I'm.

[Donnie]

Look, The Japanese are 10 minutes early, so.

[Brandon]

And. But you're.

[Donnie]

You're making up and I'm not Japanese.

[Mark]

Yeah, you're right.

[Nick]

I'll be goddamn.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

So if you. If you start being early, people get the wrong idea.

[Donnie]

I'm perfectly on time.

[Brandon]

Or is it like if you start being early, you'll turn into Japanese?

[Donnie]

Look, guys, I had other. I had things to do.

[Dave]

So. The song is about.

[Donnie]

Jack McCarthy says a lot of things. A lot of things he says are smart.

[Brandon]

Jack McCarthy.

[Dave]

What's going on with Jack McCarthy?

[Donnie]

He said I need a fee. He said don't. You don't do any Prezis without a fee because the Prezi costs a lot of money.

[Nick]

Well, he's never been yet guest of the fucking year you have.

[Donnie]

I agree with you on that one. But Jack McCarthy says a lot of good things too.

[Brandon]

You think you should start modeling your life after Jack?

[Nick]

Everyone hates the well being.

[Mark]

Universally hated guy in this is the.

[Nick]

Well being poisoned by Jack MacArthur.

[Brandon]

The best thing that happened to Jack McCarthy in the last three years is Lucas got hired. That's it. That's the only thing he's got going for him.

[Donnie]

I stand by Jack McCarthy in this sense. McCarthyism worked.

[Brandon]

What?

[Mark]

What?

[Brandon]

That was good. No, McCarthyism worked.

[Nick]

Do you have your presentation?

[Donnie]

Yeah, I have what's left of it.

[Nick]

What do you.

[Dave]

What's left of it?

[Mark]

What do you mean, what's left of it? Something happened.

[Donnie]

What's beginning of it? I have the.

[Brandon]

I have.

[Donnie]

Let's go. What's this?

[Nick]

What percentage did you get?

[Donnie]

96.

[Nick]

Okay, that's.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's pretty good.

[Mark]

I don't want you going into this flustered because.

[Donnie]

Yeah, but the 4% is big. What?

[Mark]

What?

[Brandon]

So it's bigger than 4%.

[Mark]

It's a weighted.

[Donnie]

It's my. Yeah, I guess.

[Mark]

What percent? What percent of the representation is in that 4% relative?

[Donnie]

A lot.

[Brandon]

This is. This is to get you money?

[Mark]

Yeah. This is like.

[Donnie]

I know. I got a presentation. I got a good start. I. I need money for this.

[Mark]

I think they're incredibly Entertaining and funny and good at your job. And I. I hate to see you squander this away, Donnie.

[Eddie]

For the people. For the people just tuning in. What. What are you presenting here today?

[Donnie]

That's a good question, Mark. I don't actually know.

[Brandon]

I like that. I like that.

[Kyle]

I started.

[Donnie]

Look, if I had more time, I would have figured out new head. I know what you're about to say. And I said, yeah, I had two weeks, but I didn't use it, so I didn't have more. Technically, I didn't have more.

[Brandon]

They asked Donnie. Dave asked. They're like, hey, can chef Donnie come to flag football?

[Donnie]

That's.

[Brandon]

No.

[Donnie]

That's the lie.

[Brandon]

He's got to do his presentation.

[Donnie]

That's a lie. But that's flat out lie. You turn blue in a second.

[Brandon]

You gave what?

[Nick]

You gave yourself an hour to do this, huh? You gave yourself an hour to do either way.

[Donnie]

I only had an hour. Either way you look at it. I had an hour.

[Nick]

You had two weeks.

[Brandon]

No, that's not true.

[Donnie]

But I did it in an hour. Either way, you chose to do that.

[Brandon]

Well, all right, let's get to it. Go on. Let me do an ad and let's get to it.

[Eddie]

Further ado gnc.

[Brandon]

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[Jack]

Wait, I have what's beginning of it.

[Brandon]

Hold on.

[Donnie]

What's. Are we good? I have.

[Nick]

Oh.

[Brandon]

Explore what's new and what's next. Use code [e-mail] for 15 off your entire order exclusions apply. Use code BARSTOOL15 at GNC.com for 15 off YOUR entire order exclusions apply.

[Mark]

Chef, we are all on your side.

[Donnie]

I don't believe you for a second.

[Brandon]

I am, chef.

[Nick]

This is my favorite day of the week when you do these things.

[Brandon]

Oh, it's.

[Nick]

I love them.

[Donnie]

I love that it's not weekly. If it's not weekly. If it's weekly, I need an appearance fee. YouTube subs. Sub to my YouTube.

[Dave]

You work.

[Nick]

You work here?

[Donnie]

Look, man.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you do work.

[Nick]

You work here.

[Donnie]

This is all from McCarthy. I'm taking McCarthy.

[Nick]

Stop listening to McCarthy.

[Mark]

Where is he?

[Dave]

Yeah. Wait, did he reach out to you on his own?

[Mark]

You make.

[Brandon]

You already make good money.

[Donnie]

I understand that you don't give an.

[Nick]

Appearance, but you work here.

[Donnie]

I go on an appearance fee. I'm saying you got. If you guys are gonna bombard me, it's low, it raises my blood pressure.

[Kyle]

That is what you're saying.

[Nick]

Stop listening to McCarthy right now.

[Mark]

Why did he end up independently? Like get in your ear.

[Donnie]

What he did.

[Jack]

What do you know?

[Eddie]

He's gonna want to cut.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's fine. I don't need money. I don't want money. Can we just start the presentation?

[Nick]

It's on you.

[Donnie]

You. I don't know.

[Mark]

I don't like that you're on edge. I need to be relaxed.

[Nick]

So monthly, whatever it is, whenever you come in here, it's my favorite day.

[Donnie]

Okay, well, that's good.

[Kyle]

Are you excited about all the research you put in?

[Donnie]

Yeah, this is. I did. I found some interesting things.

[Kyle]

Will you be presenting a theory, an idea, or just facts?

[Nick]

McCarthy ruined Donnie.

[Mark]

Yeah, he did.

[Nick]

McCarthy got involved.

[Brandon]

McCarthy's a piece of.

[Donnie]

Okay, well, then I take back what I said.

[Brandon]

He's also trying to with you. You know that.

[Donnie]

I can't tell who's trying to with me at this point.

[Nick]

I, I, we're not.

[Dave]

Not us.

[Eddie]

We're on your maybe mark.

[Mark]

You're about to Mark.

[Brandon]

Definitely unlimited funding.

[Donnie]

All right, let's start.

[Brandon]

Okay. All right.

[Donnie]

The Wonders of Science Adani Do Science presentation. Okay. Exploring the science and celebrating the pioneers of science like myself.

[Nick]

Okay, Good start.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Donnie]

Next slide, please.

[Dave]

At the universe.

[Donnie]

What makes a good scientist? Click.

[Brandon]

Well, let's slow down here. Oh, no.

[Donnie]

What?

[Brandon]

Oh, Jesus.

[Nick]

Being in a wheelchair.

[Brandon]

That's a pedophile.

[Mark]

That's a pedophile.

[Donnie]

Can we slow down? Can we back up? Let's back up a slide.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Donnie]

What do you. You were supposed to say something.

[Brandon]

I want you to be in a better mood.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Donnie]

You want to walk back in?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Let's restart.

[Mark]

Back in.

[Brandon]

Let's restart. You know what? Let's refresh.

[Eddie]

Flush it all. Donnie.

[Brandon]

You know, I'm gonna go take a piss. Let's refresh that. Everything.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Cuz that was speedy. You were yelling that presentation at us.

[Nick]

We got to kill Jack McCarthy.

[Mark]

Yeah, he did.

[Nick]

You j.

[Brandon]

Compromise. Tell Jack to shut the. Up, Max.

[Donnie]

Jack, I need you in the room. I need you.

[Brandon]

No, you don't.

[Nick]

God damn it.

[Dave]

Why would Jack be meddling like this, though? What's in it for him?

[Nick]

Jack ruined Chef, the one pure thing we had, and he ruined it.

[Dave]

But why? Why would he do that?

[Mark]

That.

[Nick]

Cuz he's a piece of. Appearance fee.

[Kyle]

He works here.

[Mark]

Also, this is a presentation for a.

[Donnie]

Grant, which would be.

[Eddie]

Yeah, this is all for Donnie's benefit today.

[Mark]

McCarthy ruined him.

[Dave]

Now, is he just about to explain to us what scientists are for the next.

[Nick]

That's fine if he is.

[Dave]

It is. Yes. Totally nice. Just curious.

[Mark]

He's going to get the funding no matter what.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

What are you doing?

[Jack]

What is he doing?

[Mark]

Is he changing something?

[Nick]

He's doing the 4%.

[Dave]

And also we're. Yeah, the final 4%. Are we not just going to give him, like, five more minutes to finish? Was this like us?

[Nick]

Is he getting rid of the pedophile?

[Eddie]

The final 4% is half the presentation, right?

[Dave]

Oh, God.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I don't think he knew percentages. The 4%'s bigger than the 96.

[Donnie]

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[Brandon]

Mmm, tasty.

[Donnie]

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[Jack]

All right?

[Mark]

I don't want our boy compromised.

[Nick]

Everybody relax. Everybody chill out. It's been on the end of a long season. We're all going on vacation tomorrow.

[Eddie]

Look how tired.

[Dave]

Yeah. Look how Tired.

[Jack]

What if that he was this riled up after hanging with Jack McCarthy.

[Eddie]

Oh, my God.

[Nick]

What if he's just presenting. Wonder why he is.

[Kyle]

Oh.

[Eddie]

And he walks in and he's like what you've just saw. Look how tired.

[Nick]

That's how. That's how it would be if I didn't have my mat.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Nick]

I would. I'd be. If we'd have to get Big Cat sign off on it, but I would be on board with firing Jack McCarthy.

[Eddie]

I'm fine with that.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

I don't know what he's. I don't know what he does.

[Dave]

Kind of lurks around all day, skulks around.

[Nick]

Cocaine that.

[Jack]

Yeah. Gave Donnie something to make he's going a little less tired.

[Dave]

He is.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Dave]

He's gonna be even worse with hair.

[Mark]

I know.

[Nick]

They probably have cocaine in Turkey.

[Mark]

I think that gets. All right. We're doing a hard dude.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Everything nice.

[Nick]

Walk up here.

[Eddie]

Flush it all.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

No.

[Mark]

He's gonna think he's gonna take that.

[Eddie]

As come in with positive of vibes.

[Donnie]

So what do we do?

[Dave]

Darkness and light coming in here right now.

[Donnie]

I. For the board. I would do it.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I'll do anything with this.

[Nick]

I was going to give him the board.

[Mark]

Do anything for this.

[Brandon]

Let's play with it. Oh, actually this is good.

[Dave]

But cat's distracting him.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I think he just got himself a free Quran board.

[Eddie]

He's going to be. He's going to be in a good mood.

[Brandon]

Talk.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Mark]

You've been into Quran for a while.

[Nick]

You've been offer the Quran board.

[Brandon]

I've offered the K board. I also told him that he has to understand with my money and his. His brain, there's literally nothing we can't do.

[Nick]

Nothing.

[Brandon]

We're like Batman.

[Eddie]

So we're in a better spot now, Donnie.

[Donnie]

Yes, Mark. We're in a good spot.

[Mark]

What did I tell you before we got in? I said you could probably go home with that board. We're on your side.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I agree.

[Brandon]

And Brandon, you agree we're like Batman together.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I'm your Alfred.

[Donnie]

He's a joker.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Eddie]

And Brandon, you agreed to not bring up that he had two weeks to work on this and waited till afternoon.

[Donnie]

Brandon, start.

[Brandon]

You going to do that?

[Eddie]

Do you agree to do that?

[Donnie]

See what's going on here?

[Nick]

I didn't do it. I. I agree. I agree. I'm not bringing it up. Won't bring it up. We won't bring it up.

[Donnie]

So that's how you want to restart. That's how you Want to restart? Mark. Nice.

[Brandon]

Let's have a nice.

[Nick]

That's not how I restarted, Donnie. I am. I'm fully at attention right now.

[Eddie]

All right.

[Donnie]

Can we just start?

[Brandon]

Let's have a nice clean start.

[Eddie]

Clean start.

[Brandon]

And let's just agree. No pedophiles in the presentation. Fair.

[Nick]

All right?

[Donnie]

It's every scientist.

[Brandon]

You might be onto something.

[Donnie]

All right.

[Eddie]

But first slide. Never mind.

[Donnie]

What makes a good scientist.

[Eddie]

The first slide said you were. Ah.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Is he a scientist or is he.

[Donnie]

A. Yeah, keep clicking.

[Dave]

Who's that?

[Kyle]

Franklin.

[Donnie]

That's not Ben Franklin. It's Isaac Newton. Buddy.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Donnie]

Sorry. That's a Albert Einstein. Next.

[Brandon]

Married his cousin.

[Donnie]

Neil Degrasse Tyson. Next. Forget his name. Okay.

[Brandon]

George Foreman.

[Mark]

George Foreman Holyfield.

[Brandon]

That would be George Foreman.

[Donnie]

I actually don't know Foreman Grill.

[Mark]

Who is that?

[Donnie]

Next one.

[Nick]

That's Evander Holyfield.

[Brandon]

Either.

[Donnie]

Elon Musk. Almost a pedophile.

[Eddie]

Almost.

[Brandon]

Just barely missed it.

[Donnie]

Next slide. So now we. Boom.

[Brandon]

Oh, yo, Donnie. We're so back.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Donnie]

What makes scientists. So here we have some of my favorites. And then recently less of a favorite scientist. What makes them all good?

[Eddie]

What's it.

[Donnie]

Let's see. What's that? Next slide. Well, a lot of things.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Donnie]

Next slide. But mostly. Next slide. A Beautiful Mind.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Well done.

[Mark]

Getting good at Prezi.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Donnie]

Thank you.

[Brandon]

Yeah. We're in the universe right now.

[Donnie]

Now, that's actually a movie about a scientist. So it's a double.

[Brandon]

It's a double.

[Donnie]

So whatever you want to call that. It's a double meaning. Okay. So A Beautiful Mind. Next slide. Oh, Combined with.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Math.

[Eddie]

But mathematician.

[Donnie]

Yeah. What is math? What is math if it's not science?

[Kyle]

Math.

[Nick]

Oh. They have two different subjects in school.

[Brandon]

It's math and science. Though.

[Mark]

Is everything science?

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Nick]

That might be what we're building up to.

[Donnie]

Okay. Combined with. Next.

[Brandon]

That's an autistic autism.

[Donnie]

And love.

[Eddie]

A beautiful mind combined with love.

[Donnie]

That's what makes a good science brain.

[Jack]

Man.

[Brandon]

I love that.

[Donnie]

Another science movie. Ish.

[Brandon]

Ish. More math. Both math.

[Donnie]

What did I just say about math and science? Math and science intertwined.

[Brandon]

I'm on you. I'm the most on your side.

[Donnie]

Okay. Okay.

[Kyle]

And love is important.

[Donnie]

You can't have science without love. You don't love what you do. You're never gonna be a good scientist.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Facts.

[Donnie]

You'll never be a good scientist. God forbid we give you a test tube. Next slide.

[Mark]

God forbid.

[Donnie]

Okay. Pose a question. How do I myself. How do I achieve A Beautiful Mind with Love.

[Eddie]

What film is this?

[Donnie]

That's not. That's Nicholas Cage.

[Mark]

Huh.

[Donnie]

And I don't know who the woman is, but he.

[Brandon]

No. What's her name?

[Donnie]

Ryan, maybe. But to me, Nicholas Cage is the all encompassing beautiful mind. With love.

[Brandon]

I agree.

[Mark]

You love National Treasure.

[Donnie]

Favorite movie?

[Brandon]

Nicholas Cage is the best.

[Donnie]

Nicholas Cage is. Yeah.

[Eddie]

So this says. So this picture has nothing to do with Meg Ryan, per se. This is more of like.

[Donnie]

It's Nicholas Cage.

[Eddie]

It's Nicholas Cage.

[Brandon]

We're focused on Nick Cage.

[Eddie]

He's got a beautiful mind. Yes. With love.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Okay, so how do I achieve this? This is the ultimate goal is this photo. This is what I'm looking for. To be a good scientist.

[Brandon]

You actually are getting good at these presentations. We've got a. We've got a goal. And now we're gonna find a way to get to it.

[Donnie]

Yeah. And I did this all in no time. So imagine if I had two weeks. To be worse.

[Eddie]

Brandon. Brandon. You said you wouldn't bring it up.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Eddie]

I got your back, Donnie. Don't bring up the two weeks thing. Got you.

[Donnie]

What do you not understand, Brandon?

[Nick]

I didn't say. I didn't say anything.

[Donnie]

You gave me two weeks. I gave myself an hour.

[Nick]

But why didn't.

[Donnie]

Because.

[Brandon]

Works better under pressure.

[Donnie]

Thank you. What does pressure make?

[Mark]

Diamonds.

[Donnie]

What is that?

[Nick]

Science.

[Donnie]

Now we're getting something. Now we're learning. Now we're learning. Now we're learning. It's all science. Okay.

[Brandon]

Science. Okay.

[Donnie]

All right, next. Now we're getting somewhere. Next slide. Didn't realize I had that in there, but. Oh, yeah. How do I. Okay, let's do that again. How do. Yes. How do you achieve. How do I achieve a beautiful line with love.

[Brandon]

You.

[Eddie]

You. How do you do it?

[Donnie]

Good question.

[Eddie]

Sucking a. Nope. Sucking you.

[Donnie]

Just fucking ask. That's all you got to say? That's it. Is how? All I want you to say was how?

[Eddie]

Let's try it again. How do you guess me?

[Kyle]

You teed him up for that?

[Donnie]

Never mind. Next slide. Okay, Mark. You guess. Guess something. You guessed it. Next slide.

[Stephen]

China.

[Donnie]

Oh, here we go. We go to China.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Mark]

All roads.

[Donnie]

Now we're getting somewhere. Next slide.

[Brandon]

Was that just to hit the China quota?

[Donnie]

Why China? Nope. Why China? Okay, I just.

[Brandon]

Wait, hold. Let me take a picture.

[Dave]

They dreaming over there.

[Donnie]

Why China?

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Donnie]

Next slide. Thanks for asking. Nobody asked. But thank you for trying.

[Brandon]

Why China?

[Donnie]

Thank you. Next slide. Okay. In order to attain a beautiful mind, I have to reset my chi.

[Kyle]

Do you mean IQ or odor?

[Donnie]

That's how you pronounce chi?

[Mark]

That's chi, like the.

[Donnie]

The.

[Mark]

The life force in your body.

[Donnie]

Exactly.

[Eddie]

An odor to obtain a beautiful.

[Donnie]

Again, I did this under a time constraint, and I didn't have time to spell check.

[Brandon]

Sure you didn't give him a lot of time. Go back to it.

[Donnie]

That was just tight. Yeah, I didn't get a second round to go through it. Of course your spelled wrong. You ever wrote a first direct event of anything? Nothing spelled right.

[Mark]

You're a book.

[Donnie]

Yeah, nothing was spelled right the first time.

[Nick]

I bet some things were spelled right.

[Donnie]

The basic words. Yeah. Okay, again, order. Like. Yeah, I spelled chi right. None of you guys knew that.

[Brandon]

That's true.

[Nick]

I did. Me and Che.

[Donnie]

All right, so to become a good scientist, I need to get my chin or. What's up, Jay? Your hair looks sick.

[Stephen]

Thanks.

[Donnie]

Next slide. I can't hear him said thanks. This was. I delete the. This wasn't supposed to be.

[Kyle]

You want to go back?

[Nick]

I have some questions that Plato might have invented Socrates.

[Donnie]

Yeah, you never heard that theory that Plato just invented Socrates. So he sounded more insightful because Socrates has no written. He. Plato wrote all of Socrates's work down for him. He has never written anything himself. His written his. So his. All his work is done through Plato. So wait, he exists.

[Brandon]

So Nick, Plato, Brandon, Socrates.

[Mark]

I write for. I write for Socrates.

[Donnie]

What did I say about Nick?

[Mark]

No, never mind.

[Brandon]

About how Brandon just doesn't exist. It's just Nick writing Scott.

[Mark]

I'll put my foot down. Not true.

[Brandon]

True.

[Donnie]

Got it.

[Eddie]

Do you like Socrates?

[Donnie]

I'm indifferent.

[Brandon]

I think he was a pedophile.

[Donnie]

Yeah, but they all were Greeks.

[Mark]

That was just sexually.

[Nick]

I was, like, shaking hands back then.

[Brandon]

It's like a beanbag chair.

[Mark]

Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's happy in their basement.

[Brandon]

Everyone's got one. Everyone's got a little boy.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

What?

[Nick]

Nothing.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Do you like Socrates?

[Donnie]

You're gonna say Socrates nuts, aren't you? I thought you saw that coming.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you got that? All right.

[Donnie]

Don't even try. All right, so back to yeah. Okay, so enter Master Goo. Okay, so this is what I found in my hour of research. The apples ignore Isaac Newton. Okay. To reset your chi, I'm gonna have to travel to China. So this is all gonna start at. Yep, he's gonna start in China. There's a guy in the Wudang Mountains named Master Chi, and I will study under him to reset my chi and Master Goo. This is Master Goo.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Goo or Chi Goo. Goo resets my chi. It gets confusing.

[Kyle]

Gooch.

[Dave]

Goose. On first here. What's it.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

So I'm going goo. I'm going Goo to cheat.

[Brandon]

Goo accept you?

[Donnie]

Goo will accept me. He accepts all applicants.

[Eddie]

I love that you're going to China for some Gucci.

[Dave]

Gucci.

[Mark]

You could say that.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

That was nice.

[Nick]

Okay, well done, Mark.

[Brandon]

All right. I like this. So you need a. You need a trip to China. Done.

[Donnie]

Okay, so next slide, please. So what will I do with Master Goo? What I learned from Master Goo. That's again, not him. That's. But we didn't get time to Paul.

[Brandon]

Scottish man from a whiskey commercial.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I believe that's a scientist. What I learned from master Goo, I think. Next slide. Okay, so phase one is the sleeping crane. Okay, so this first protocol. Master Gu believes the westerners sleep wrong. And I'm very interested in sleep at the moment. So he's gonna make me sleep on a wooden bench or a stone of some sort with. In the Taoist posture where my gallbladder will be facing the meridian. That's the first step. So I have to sleep on wood or stone. Don't. Why is that funny?

[Nick]

Brandon?

[Brandon]

What is it? That guy sleeping correctly.

[Donnie]

Let's go back. So that's a. Yeah, that guy's. That's how I'll be sleeping.

[Mark]

I'm presume that guy's on fentanyl.

[Donnie]

Don't think so. Don't think so.

[Kyle]

Does Master Gu exist?

[Donnie]

Master who does it? Yeah, Master who's a real guy. Master Goo is a Wudong.

[Nick]

Master, this is what you will do.

[Donnie]

To go get science to reset my chi. This. Before I can do any science, I need to get a beautiful mind. This is how I get beautiful.

[Kyle]

You're pitching an experiment right now. You have to go to these mountains in China.

[Donnie]

Yeah. So in a way, this could be the first experiment.

[Nick]

But you've been to China, right? Did you ever hook up with Goo?

[Donnie]

No. This is before my time.

[Nick]

Goes. Not there now.

[Donnie]

What was before your time, Goose There now. Yeah, that was before my time of knowing science. That was before my path, my journey began.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Donnie]

Goo wasn't even on my radar.

[Nick]

So let's say you got a trip to China, like in May or June. You could go to Goo.

[Donnie]

I'll have to off to reach out to goo, but I'm sure that would work. Okay, it seems. Presumably, yes.

[Nick]

This is all to get you in the right head space to do the science.

[Mark]

Yeah, but it's science in turn. It's science.

[Donnie]

It's a meta. It's a meta.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Dave]

Now, speaking of science, can you explain the significance of the gallbladder facing the meridian? What is that doing?

[Donnie]

Don't know. That's more of a good question than me. That's. I. I don't. You know. Do you ask the master how to paint? No. You just do what he says.

[Kyle]

Okay. Right.

[Dave]

Yep.

[Donnie]

Back to the slideshow.

[Mark]

Is that the gallbladder? Donnie.

[Donnie]

That's a gallbladder.

[Mark]

So that's something we can get removed.

[Nick]

And live without him to tell you what to do. You have to ask him.

[Donnie]

So the gallbladder and that in the middle is a meridian. And on the left is a guy sleeping on stone. Okay.

[Nick]

All right.

[Kyle]

Is that the Prime Meridian?

[Donnie]

That would be the Prime Meridian.

[Brandon]

What is the prime meridian?

[Nick]

Kb the up and down equator.

[Donnie]

Exactly.

[Kyle]

It bisects the earth into the Western and Eastern hemisphere.

[Brandon]

Where is it?

[Kyle]

The middle of the world goes through England and Africa.

[Brandon]

Got it. It.

[Kyle]

So you would face that.

[Donnie]

So. Yeah. But presumably. Okay. So that's phase one of Master Goose training. There you go. Oh, so it might be that marine.

[Brandon]

Okay. Yep.

[Eddie]

Yeah. But that's not in China.

[Donnie]

You just got to face and face it.

[Mark]

So you mean you're going as far away as possible from that?

[Donnie]

Again. You're not supposed to be on it.

[Jack]

I'm not.

[Donnie]

I'm not questioning this guy's teachings.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Aren't you? Oh, well, I guess as long as you're going east or west. You're facing.

[Eddie]

You're facing it. We're facing it right now.

[Donnie]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

At least some of us are now. I am.

[Mark]

I'm getting close. I'm being hooked.

[Eddie]

I'm facing.

[Brandon]

You're facing it. I am as well. You are. Donnie. You're not.

[Donnie]

I'm not in China.

[Nick]

He's right.

[Brandon]

True.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Donnie]

Okay. So next slide. Sure. That's a little callback. Call it callback. Okay, Phase two. That's phase one. The sleeping crane. Phase two. Next slide. Okay. Internal alchemy. So this is where it gets interesting. Strict diet of pine needles, goji berries and mountain. Mountain mist to clear brain fog. So this is. This is Never done something like this before. I've never eaten pine needles. Goji berries. But that's Master goo up there. That's a guy eating a bowl of pine needles. Look healthy as a rock. And then that's a mountain.

[Mark]

That's healthy as rocks do live a long time.

[Donnie]

So this is what. This is the. This is all clearing my cheetah to.

[Mark]

Do you think your chi is clogged right now?

[Donnie]

Very. Extremely. The mat's helping. The shit is helping, but.

[Kyle]

So your current diet, this will fast. Would you say it's bad or just not that?

[Donnie]

It's not that. Yeah, it's not that. I wouldn't say it's great.

[Kyle]

For how long would you have to. To do this diet?

[Donnie]

Not sure how long this program is. Again, the research, I got to dive in a little further, but I got the outline, I got the big picture.

[Eddie]

And for the folks just tuning in, chi is what?

[Donnie]

Chi is your internal flow, state of life force, general life force, energy, you name it. It's everything. It's all everything at once and nothing at the same time.

[Mark]

It's like the force.

[Donnie]

You could say that. That's the most realistic way of putting it. Oh, it's.

[Eddie]

It's like the force. It's like the force.

[Donnie]

You're joking. You're serious. Move on.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Brandon]

I'm sending you to China.

[Donnie]

Yeah. So this is. This is going to cost you.

[Nick]

Very expensive.

[Donnie]

No, no, this is gonna. I did it. This program costs like a grand. Flights probably costing, you know, 1200.

[Brandon]

Done.

[Donnie]

So, you know, five grand, maybe, total.

[Brandon]

We forgot about the pine needles.

[Eddie]

A grand for the program, 1200 for the flight.

[Brandon]

How much is a rock can master Goo. Teach you math?

[Donnie]

Look, you always buffer when it comes to budgets. All right, you're right because you hate to go over it. Yeah, look, if I come back under a budget, you're gonna go, holy. Yeah, you're right if I go over budget. So you always go. You always say more. Maybe it might cost 10, who knows? Moves.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Donnie]

Okay, next slide.

[Brandon]

I want. I want this for you.

[Donnie]

So. Yeah, so by the end of it, I'll think. I'll. I'll come back. Ready? Next slide. Okay, then this is phase three. He does bone setting and moxibustion. Mox. Moxie busting. Bust. Musk.

[Jack]

You got it.

[Donnie]

Someone read that word.

[Brandon]

Moxie bustion.

[Donnie]

That's what I said the first time. So we're right. Yeah. So you basically burn sage on your body and any bones, it'll reset all your bones.

[Brandon]

Sounds like a drag queen name. Moxie.

[Donnie]

Yeah, it does.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And this is an ancient art of drawing out the WI FI toxin.

[Donnie]

Well, now. Now it focuses more on the WI.

[Brandon]

FI toxins Brandon's got.

[Mark]

What's the photo?

[Eddie]

The right.

[Donnie]

The photo. The right is a guy bone setting, not master chi. This is not an Asian man. He looks. He does look a little suspect. Now I'm looking at him.

[Jack]

He's got the Hitler stash.

[Mark]

Brandon.

[Nick]

Yeah. Science requires asking Questions.

[Donnie]

Of course.

[Nick]

What if Master Goo is full of shit? No, no, that's a question.

[Donnie]

I mean, there's only one way to find out.

[Brandon]

He's on Instagram.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I don't love that. Well, look at him.

[Nick]

I don't know, just looks.

[Brandon]

Oh, you can go to Romania. Have you ever come into Chicago?

[Mark]

I think he goes to the card convention.

[Brandon]

Okay, Master Goo, just a question.

[Nick]

Apologize. Mark texted me to ask it.

[Donnie]

Okay, well, stop doing that. That's not even allowed. No, I won't answer any. I won't field any more of your questions.

[Nick]

Me? I'm out of questions.

[Donnie]

You're out of questions?

[Brandon]

Oh, you could do an online academy.

[Donnie]

No, no, no.

[Nick]

He needs to go to China now.

[Donnie]

This guy.

[Mark]

It's just more WI fi.

[Donnie]

This might be a hoax.

[Kyle]

Oh, no.

[Brandon]

Oh, no, this is a clean website.

[Donnie]

See, I don't like that he has a website.

[Nick]

Seven day trial means he just wants your information and then charges you anyway.

[Donnie]

Well, there's. Look at the mountain. No, I. I'm back in. That's looks legit.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you're right.

[Brandon]

Look at that.

[Mark]

Is that goo?

[Brandon]

That's goofy. Can we hear them?

[Eddie]

Here we go.

[Kyle]

For the past 15 years, I have.

[Donnie]

Been teaching Tai chi, qigong and natural living in my home, the wonderful Wudang Mountains, China.

[Kyle]

Not everyone can get to China, but.

[Donnie]

I know you want wellness, practices you.

[Kyle]

Can fit into your everyday life.

[Donnie]

Now, I'm delighted to say, thanks to.

[Kyle]

Internet technology, I can come to you.

[Donnie]

Well, that defeats the purpose of everything.

[Mark]

No, no, you got to get there.

[Kyle]

The crane.

[Donnie]

We're going to go. I'm not doing online classes.

[Brandon]

You got to go to go.

[Donnie]

If I. I might have to find someone better than Goo if. If he's this kind of guy, but you get the concept. I gotta go to China to reset my cheat.

[Kyle]

Will you be master?

[Donnie]

Maybe. Learn Kung fu?

[Brandon]

Is he Asian? Grant Cardone. Ah, I would hate that. Yeah. Although you did like Grant Cardone.

[Donnie]

I know, but I don't want two of them. You know I won't.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but an Asian one.

[Donnie]

Either way, I think he's gonna do something for me.

[Brandon]

Yep. Agreed.

[Donnie]

Either way, if he. He resets my chi and helps me dream better, we've achieved something.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Donnie]

So it's an experiment in and of itself.

[Brandon]

Agreed.

[Donnie]

Is it not?

[Brandon]

Yeah. You're doing science on yourself.

[Donnie]

So this is. Yeah.

[Mark]

What's your hypothesis, Donnie?

[Donnie]

Will I become a more enlightened and cheerful person?

[Eddie]

That's not.

[Nick]

That's not a hypothesis.

[Donnie]

You ask a hypothesis, a question.

[Mark]

What do you think your thesis off.

[Brandon]

His hypothesis is he's wi fi. Is him up?

[Donnie]

Oh, we're doing a hypothesis and thesis. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The wifi this west, the Western world and the. You know, a lot of the lights in this studio and the atmosphere has.

[Brandon]

Up my cheese station. Yeah, yeah.

[Donnie]

My cheese bad. So will Master Goofy fix my.

[Brandon]

Reset it.

[Kyle]

How do you measure your chi to see if it has blood pressure?

[Donnie]

Is a good way to start.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And really, it doesn't even have to be China. It has to be anywhere that Mark isn't.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's probably helpful. Can I go with no, Absolutely not.

[Eddie]

Like that'd be a good experiment is to get maybe.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

That's yin and yang. Is that not a Chinese ideal?

[Mark]

No.

[Eddie]

Yin and yang. You have master goo. One shoulder.

[Brandon]

Say maybe.

[Eddie]

You have master goo on one shoulder. You have me on the other shoulder. Donnie, think about it. That is science.

[Brandon]

Also think about master goo and his broken English saying. No Mark. Stephen, can you give.

[Donnie]

It's interesting.

[Brandon]

It is interesting to say it.

[Donnie]

If he comes back a better person, it might be better for everyone. You're right.

[Brandon]

Correct.

[Donnie]

All right, it's interesting.

[Brandon]

Next slide.

[Donnie]

Next slide. Okay. Okay. Now I have a beautiful mind. I'm ready to do science, so.

[Brandon]

Oh, so this is just.

[Donnie]

This is just the beginning.

[Brandon]

This is just getting.

[Donnie]

Oh, that was just the beginning of Doosan.

[Brandon]

And what does that guy do? A cigarette.

[Donnie]

I just searched guy. Beautiful men.

[Brandon]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

The top right. What's he doing?

[Brandon]

He's a beautiful man as well.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Sitting there on the ground.

[Donnie]

Cool. Southern Asian. I want to say southeast maybe. And then. Yeah, so that was. So that's really the beginning of the Prezi. That's how it should have started. That's how it did start.

[Kyle]

Are you saying now you're ready?

[Donnie]

Now I'm ready.

[Mark]

Before we even do. Do science, you need to get your.

[Donnie]

I have to go to China to even start this journey.

[Mark]

Have to.

[Donnie]

Have to.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Donnie]

No questions asked.

[Dave]

Can I.

[Brandon]

Not asking any.

[Dave]

What was the 4% that we missed out on?

[Donnie]

Well, that. Now. So I have 2% of the 4% here. Next slide.

[Dave]

Oh, okay.

[Donnie]

Will I. Okay, again, I didn't get time to spell check. I will recreate some classic experiments.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Hell yes. This is all with good chi.

[Donnie]

Yeah, this is with good cheese. So they had bad chi. I'll have good chi.

[Mark]

That was an experiment.

[Brandon]

What wasn't in there?

[Eddie]

What is the experience?

[Donnie]

I know, but I'll. I'll see if he could have been in there. I'll put I like in a weather balloon and see if I can survive in a weather balloon and have the news go crazy.

[Nick]

What if you die?

[Brandon]

I love that.

[Donnie]

Well, you know what? We could all play what ifs. Brandon.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Jack]

Sure can.

[Donnie]

So that would be my first experiment. And then the next.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Donnie]

Shot of a human.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Donnie]

So I really want to do.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Donnie]

Science of aerodynamics. There's a lot of force. There's a lot of GS. Physics involved in this. So I'd like to find a circus that will let me do Shoot out of a human.

[Brandon]

I love this.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

This.

[Donnie]

And then next. Mark it up. I can't finish.

[Eddie]

Wait, you type this. You're not at the end yet.

[Donnie]

That's the end. This is.

[Nick]

You were.

[Donnie]

So that was. I was about to keep adding. That's the very experiments. And then you came over and started writing on my whiteboard and saying, time to go. Time to go.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

So now. Oh, it zooms in. I have time.

[Eddie]

You had time to add that and you finished.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I had time to. But what I would like to do, I'll go on. You know, just off the top of my head, anything Brian Johnson's done, sign me up. Liver transplant, blood transfusion.

[Mark]

You track your erections.

[Donnie]

That's the science I don't really care much about, but, you know, we'll see. I haven't looked into that one, but. And then mostly weather balloons and cannons and then human genome sequencing.

[Brandon]

So today we just need. We need to get your chi fixed.

[Donnie]

So. Yeah, I try it before I do anything. Put your hands down in.

[Eddie]

Can you be a pioneer of science if you're just doing everything that other people are doing?

[Donnie]

I don't know. What. I don't even know how to ask. What. That's not even a question.

[Eddie]

That was a pretty straightforward question that you're. You're seeking to become a pioneer of science.

[Donnie]

But I'm already a pioneer.

[Eddie]

You're doing Brian. You said you want to do what Brian Johnson does you want to do.

[Donnie]

I'm already a pioneer. I'm going to do tests that he hasn't even thought of. I'm going to do human testing.

[Mark]

On yourself?

[Donnie]

Yes, on myself.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Jack]

So you need to be so like.

[Nick]

This in order to. How long?

[Jack]

Circus stunt.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

No, I'm just gonna study the physics of it. That's not even. That's. Again, that's a bad question.

[Mark]

How. How long would you need to be in China?

[Donnie]

Could be a couple weeks. Probably at least a week. At least two weeks.

[Kyle]

Two Weeks. Get your cheese.

[Donnie]

Get my cheese set straight to the.

[Mark]

What if it doesn't take?

[Donnie]

Well, then we get. Then we started ground zero.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Well.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

How do we know it works?

[Brandon]

You're gonna go to. To New York?

[Donnie]

Yeah. We could start there. Yeah. That's a different. That's a different science that I don't want to do. Metal and steel beams and that's a lot of.

[Mark]

So we have your hypnotist on the line. He's been here the whole time.

[Donnie]

Who's that?

[Mark]

Your hypnotist. Do you want to talk?

[Donnie]

No, I don't.

[Brandon]

Why you.

[Jack]

Why are you so afraid of him?

[Kyle]

Get him on.

[Brandon]

Can he make you a frog?

[Nick]

Oh, my God.

[Jack]

Really?

[Mark]

Like.

[Brandon]

No. No, Donnie, we don't. We don't.

[Mark]

We don't.

[Brandon]

Don't.

[Dave]

It's okay.

[Mark]

Donnie, we don't.

[Brandon]

We don't.

[Dave]

Donnie, it's not your fault.

[Brandon]

Come back.

[Eddie]

Donnie.

[Mark]

We don't have your.

[Brandon]

We don't have him. Donnie.

[Eddie]

What happened with this hip?

[Mark]

Wait.

[Dave]

Something.

[Brandon]

Donnie, we got this guy's chi fixed.

[Dave]

His chi is.

[Nick]

Come on back.

[Brandon]

He's not here.

[Eddie]

He's.

[Brandon]

We're never reaching out to him.

[Eddie]

Donnie. Oh, no.

[Nick]

That's.

[Mark]

That's my bad.

[Nick]

I want to talk to Jack McCarthy.

[Mark]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Yeah. What's he made him scornful.

[Jack]

He's going from. From Jack McCarthy to Master Goo.

[Brandon]

Jack McCarthy up. His chi.

[Kyle]

His cheese.

[Donnie]

He's not on. Zoom in here.

[Nick]

No, he just said that.

[Mark]

Donnie, I was with you there. I apologize.

[Brandon]

There's something with this.

[Mark]

I shouldn't have done that. That was too far.

[Donnie]

I mean, I'll walk away.

[Brandon]

You've proven that.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Same. Same thing.

[Eddie]

Your chi is. Is not good right now.

[Brandon]

We gotta get your.

[Mark]

Is it not good or is it clogged? Is it not flowing?

[Donnie]

I'm not a chi expert.

[Brandon]

So when do you want to go to China? I'm in. You just gotta. The only person you got to worry about in this room is me. I mean.

[Donnie]

Right?

[Mark]

That is right.

[Brandon]

Forget all that. Them.

[Donnie]

Yeah. I would like to get. I don't know. I got to check my schedule.

[Brandon]

All right, check your schedule and we'll get. We'll get.

[Donnie]

I do have. I do have. Do have a full. You know, I got to. But I'll clear some path.

[Kyle]

So your mat doesn't help with your chi.

[Brandon]

Maybe july, fourth week.

[Donnie]

I'm gone that week.

[Nick]

I mean, do you care about your chi or not?

[Donnie]

That's a week. I. There's a. I have ceremonies.

[Mark]

Weddings.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Brandon]

What about the week Before I can find a week.

[Donnie]

I can carve out Memorial Day. I can carve out a week. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Barcelos here.

[Donnie]

So I can car. Okay. Yeah, probably that week.

[Eddie]

That works for me, too.

[Mark]

So could you go tomorrow?

[Donnie]

No, I can't go tomorrow. Okay. Can't.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

You want to do. You want to do last week of May?

[Donnie]

I don't know.

[Eddie]

I think that could work for me.

[Donnie]

You have a. You can't do mostly sports from China, buddy.

[Nick]

I got mostly sports. Don't worry about mostly sports.

[Brandon]

He was. He's big. James Sports.

[Nick]

Yeah. I won. I just won the James Award.

[Jack]

Will you be able to, like, document it all yourself?

[Donnie]

No, I'll bring Miller. Can I bring Miller?

[Nick]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Miller.

[Donnie]

Cool.

[Nick]

But now we're up to, like, the 5,000 number is going to be.

[Eddie]

I want to bring my. I want to bring my guy, too.

[Brandon]

No, I'm. I'm. I'm in for this.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

I think you can make some good content.

[Eddie]

I want to bring my guy.

[Mark]

I think it'll be great if you're.

[Brandon]

Making content out of it. In.

[Donnie]

Yeah. I'll go film the whole thing. I'll document it, and I'll come back to the Prezi video.

[Brandon]

Because we. I've been thinking, like, we haven't done a Donnie Does China.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, you're right.

[Kyle]

That would be real pioneer.

[Brandon]

First ever in barstool history.

[Donnie]

It's full circle. It's where I started, you know?

[Brandon]

Do you want. I still might want the other Donnie to come with you.

[Donnie]

Still my visa. We could.

[Brandon]

I mean, that would be cool.

[Donnie]

Could do a whole circle.

[Kyle]

Do you want to do some, like, pre good chi trials at the circus?

[Mark]

Yeah, you do need to figure out your baseline. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Your baseline chi. Could we could. Now, would you be open if we got someone in here who's a chi expert to test your.

[Donnie]

Yeah, we could do it. Yeah, that'd be. I'm not here next week. We could do. We could do.

[Brandon]

Where are you going to be?

[Jack]

Be.

[Donnie]

I'm gone next week.

[Mark]

Where?

[Brandon]

China.

[Donnie]

Not China, but skiing. I'm out next week.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

This is the trip I've had planned for years.

[Brandon]

No, I love that. Where are you going? There's no snow.

[Donnie]

Going to France.

[Brandon]

Oh, yes.

[Mark]

Should we give you, like, a baseline stress test?

[Donnie]

Yeah, we could do that.

[Brandon]

No, we need to get a chi expert in here.

[Mark]

Right. Like before and after or.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I'll do a chi expert in a stress test and. Yeah. Maybe get my levels checked.

[Mark]

What are you willing to do? Physically to your body.

[Donnie]

Anything besides, like a. I don't want to cut any organs out, but besides that, I'll do anything.

[Nick]

It's reasonable.

[Kyle]

Anything.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Or.

[Donnie]

I don't want to do. Bro. I want to do bone fractures. I don't want that.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Brandon]

No bone.

[Mark]

What was the bone resetting?

[Donnie]

I don't know. I think that's just, like, fancy alignment to get your.

[Mark]

Are you a chiropractor guy?

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah. Once a week.

[Brandon]

Steven, see if you can get a chi expert in here. The rest of this week I'll be out. But let's. Let's chi him up.

[Mark]

There has to be one in Chicago, right?

[Nick]

Okay. Why?

[Mark]

It's first three letters.

[Eddie]

One.

[Mark]

Wyatt has one, I think.

[Eddie]

I don't know. I assume that's what he sent us.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

How are French?

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

Or French cheese?

[Donnie]

French cheese.

[Mark]

Are they stinky?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Sticky, cheesy.

[Brandon]

Oh, we got the red light package here, too.

[Donnie]

Oh, did you actually.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

So it's whatever you want.

[Donnie]

Yeah. That's actually huge.

[Nick]

See?

[Brandon]

Again, it's a good day. Don't worry about Mark. Don't worry about Brandon.

[Eddie]

Yeah, don't worry about Brandon.

[Donnie]

I won't. I'm just talking to you.

[Brandon]

You got guys in here just talking to you.

[Mark]

Tell Donnie.

[Donnie]

Tell him he doesn't have to be. No. Yeah, next week I'm out. But this. Otherwise, I knew. Chi the week after or we'll do chi.

[Nick]

This week.

[Donnie]

This week.

[Brandon]

When do you leave?

[Donnie]

I leave on Saturday.

[Brandon]

That's an awesome trip.

[Donnie]

I'm stoked. Dude, they've been getting nuked with snow.

[Brandon]

Who. Who you going with?

[Donnie]

My younger brother and my younger brother and my younger sister.

[Nick]

Your siblings?

[Brandon]

Your brothers and your sisters?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

My three brother or two of my three brothers and my sister.

[Mark]

Are you bringing the brother you don't like?

[Donnie]

I like them all.

[Mark]

Okay, but the one that's not.

[Donnie]

He was invited. He's not coming, but okay.

[Brandon]

Good. That's actually good vibes.

[Donnie]

Yeah, it's good vibes.

[Eddie]

How are the brothers? Chi?

[Donnie]

One of them has really good chi. One of them as Chi. Chi. Chi like me a little bit. And one.

[Mark]

Rob's chi is good.

[Donnie]

Rob has no. He's angry chi. He's higher blood pressure than me.

[Brandon]

Who is the one we know going?

[Donnie]

Kevin.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Kevin's going.

[Brandon]

Yeah. He's got good cheese.

[Eddie]

He's got great.

[Brandon]

He's got great chi.

[Donnie]

Yeah. He's the most chi of the family.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You keep on bringing up your blood pressure. Is that something that's like it's concerning.

[Donnie]

I gotta get a doctor. Like I still haven't found one. I haven't looked but I gotta find one. Yeah, but it's bad.

[Mark]

Do you think it's from stress?

[Donnie]

I haven't looked.

[Brandon]

Oh, you haven't looked.

[Donnie]

I think it's genetics. Honestly, I think I'm. Because I'm Cuban.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you are.

[Donnie]

Humans have high blood pressure.

[Mark]

Didn't know that.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah. By the way, the Daytona 500 isn't just the start of NASCAR season. It's the moment when everything comes alive again and sets the tone for the entire year. It's iconic speed, pure spectacle and adrenaline filled moments wrapped into one larger than life American tradition. The great American race is prestigious without feeling stuffy and unpredictable in a way that keeps your heart in your throat for 500 miles. For drivers, it's the race that defines careers and etches their names into the history books forever. Full throttle three wide. Door to door racing. Action for the win. Clear your schedule, grab a drink, tune into the Daytona 500. Sunday, February 15th at 2:30pm Eastern on Fox. By the way, I really do think maybe next week, maybe midweek if everyone's here. We just do a hate day where we agree beforehand that like whatever we say can't be held against us. Just let it out. We all have takes. We all have hate.

[Kyle]

I would do a hate day.

[Mark]

We should all make a prezzy.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Just hate.

[Kyle]

Oh yeah.

[Brandon]

Whatever you hate. And we just are in a trust tree.

[Donnie]

Can I submit mine?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Just a picture.

[Brandon]

Give us something that's perfect.

[Donnie]

Why?

[Nick]

Why do you hate Mark so much?

[Donnie]

He started it. He started it.

[Brandon]

He did start it. You did start it.

[Donnie]

He started it. You started it.

[Eddie]

Started what?

[Donnie]

You want to turn a new leaf?

[Nick]

How'd he start it?

[Donnie]

He started the whole wheel thing. This guy lost me money, everything.

[Nick]

He was trying to help you.

[Donnie]

Right.

[Eddie]

That's what I thought you would one go watch yak guest of the year. Go, go. Rewatch that.

[Donnie]

I don't want to watch that.

[Nick]

And you got $1,000 for.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Donnie]

I understand. I'm very happy I got $1,000. I don't think it had anything to do with him.

[Mark]

It's fair.

[Donnie]

It's every. It's. It's. Big K got me the money.

[Brandon]

It's true. Did come out of my pocket.

[Mark]

Do you think there's any negative repercussions of getting your chi going? What? If you want to give it all up, you leave this. You go, you move to China, you become a monk.

[Donnie]

If you know what Then that's a Beautiful Mind. That's a. That's bring it full circle.

[Brandon]

I would love that for you. If you. If you. Whatever your findings are. I'm like. If you come back and you're like, hey guys, I've been thinking about it. I'm gay now. I'm cool with it.

[Nick]

Yeah. He said if.

[Eddie]

He said if you just want goo really bad.

[Donnie]

In what world? He said if Goo's a beautiful woman. Goose is my favorite woman.

[Kyle]

What the boy Who's a boy named Eileen Goofy.

[Nick]

Oh, oh, that's the tennis players girl.

[Brandon]

I keep thinking of Gru. Right?

[Donnie]

She's a skier.

[Mark]

Eileen. Goo.

[Donnie]

She's a skier. Yeah.

[Nick]

Multiple Goose.

[Donnie]

She just won silver. She's.

[Nick]

Oh, they're both good looking.

[Brandon]

They're probably.

[Nick]

They're Goo Goo dolls.

[Donnie]

It's pretty good.

[Eddie]

Thanks. All right. Well, Donnie, I. I'm rooting for you.

[Nick]

You could have wrote that one a little bit better.

[Eddie]

I hope.

[Mark]

My bad.

[Eddie]

I hope you get your chi figured out. I hope you get to go on this trip.

[Brandon]

Trip.

[Eddie]

And I hope it all works out.

[Nick]

That's very nice.

[Brandon]

I'm excited for this.

[Eddie]

And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

[Brandon]

I do think we need to do a follow up chi appointment to make sure that we have a baseline.

[Donnie]

I think. I think the things that need to happen. Baseline chi. And.

[Brandon]

Get in here.

[Donnie]

Baseline stress. What the stress.

[Brandon]

What the did you do to Donnie? He's totally different.

[Nick]

You poisoned him.

[Brandon]

What's your problem, man?

[Kyle]

Do anything to him?

[Brandon]

He.

[Kyle]

He brought the conversation to me.

[Nick]

And you told him to get an appearance fee?

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Nick]

Why?

[Eddie]

Why would you do that?

[Brandon]

Because I think he just got a trip to China.

[Nick]

He works here.

[Donnie]

Oh, good.

[Kyle]

That's. Then let's call it even.

[Donnie]

Give him your point though. Oh, you gotta. I think you gotta get a bit.

[Kyle]

Oh, you were very upset.

[Donnie]

I wasn't upset.

[Kyle]

You were very upset.

[Donnie]

I was stupid.

[Mark]

He said that every time he comes.

[Brandon]

On here he turns into an idiot.

[Mark]

And then he gets a million text.

[Brandon]

Being like, you're an idiot.

[Donnie]

You're an idiot.

[Brandon]

It.

[Donnie]

That is true.

[Kyle]

So he said. He said he should get paid for that.

[Donnie]

And I said. I didn't say I should get paid. You said I should get paid. I never said I needed to get paid.

[Brandon]

The word turns into turns.

[Mark]

I think you. I think you're excitable.

[Brandon]

The phrase turns into or not turns into just as an idiot.

[Kyle]

It shows he's an idiot.

[Brandon]

A Superman Clark Kent thing.

[Mark]

Do you think Donnie's an idiot?

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Mark]

I knew that before you listen.

[Eddie]

That's your guy. That's the guy.

[Brandon]

That's your guy.

[Dave]

Who it's listening to.

[Donnie]

I. Unfortunately I surround myself with bad people.

[Kyle]

Incorrect.

[Brandon]

If you all the people. Yeah, you surround your. You are a bad guy.

[Kyle]

Incorrect.

[Nick]

You're one of the worst.

[Brandon]

That's not true. If not compared to you.

[Nick]

Yes. Even compared you better.

[Brandon]

I said it earlier, but you better hope Lucas makes it back from Hawaii because you are the worst. If he's not around, I'm fine with that title.

[Donnie]

He's in Hawaii. That's sick.

[Mark]

It's raining.

[Dave]

Is it?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Awesome even. Do you hate Lucas?

[Donnie]

No, I have him indifferent.

[Brandon]

Different.

[Donnie]

It's just funny. It's just funny for me.

[Mark]

Donnie, on the record. I don't think you're an idiot.

[Nick]

Right.

[Brandon]

I don't think you're an idiot either.

[Eddie]

I think.

[Mark]

I think you're brave for diving into topics that you don't know anything about here.

[Brandon]

Yes, I. I think you are curious. Yeah, I am curious. Intellectual curiosity is probably the greatest thing you can have.

[Donnie]

I'm a curious man.

[Brandon]

Like people like Brandon who are not curious about anything.

[Nick]

Call you Whiskers. Their.

[Brandon]

Their life sucks.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I agree. I. Well, no, I mean, that's facts.

[Kyle]

People are reaching.

[Nick]

Agree with what?

[Donnie]

I agree with that. I agree it's full.

[Nick]

That I have my life.

[Donnie]

Oh, that. That. I'm curious.

[Brandon]

He's not curious about anything.

[Mark]

You might as well be dead if you're not curious.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I just get excitable sometimes.

[Mark]

And I think sometimes your mouth moves faster than your brain.

[Nick]

Can I throw a little counterpoint?

[Mark]

Yeah. If this was pre recorded, I think you would come off as a genius all the time.

[Donnie]

Well, that's not true.

[Nick]

You're going to China to fix your chi. Correct.

[Donnie]

What? There's multiple people talking.

[Brandon]

You ruined him, Jeff.

[Mark]

Ruin him.

[Kyle]

He's upset with me.

[Nick]

Look at me.

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Nick]

You're going to China to fix your cheeks.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Nick]

You don't want Mark to go correct.

[Donnie]

No.

[Nick]

But what if he went and fixed his chi and now he's somebody you like?

[Eddie]

I think, Jack, you should come with us as well. I've been three of us.

[Donnie]

Okay. Let's go to China.

[Eddie]

The three of us should take China. We should. We should take China.

[Brandon]

I wouldn't mind fixing Nikki. Smokes. Cheat.

[Donnie]

Oh, now we're talking like a lot.

[Nick]

Don't worry about the money. The money's these cheese.

[Brandon]

Got to get a recall.

[Mark]

I think to go alone.

[Donnie]

I'll go with Brandon. I mean, I'll go if I will.

[Nick]

You got it.

[Mark]

Huh?

[Donnie]

I'll go with dark Mark.

[Brandon]

You're going to China, buddy.

[Donnie]

I love it, dude.

[Brandon]

I'm getting ready to learn China.

[Donnie]

I'm so excited. I have my visa still. And from going to China. I. Yeah. My Chinese visa. I have a 10 year visa.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Nick]

All right.

[Brandon]

And Bill are gonna be able to go.

[Donnie]

Yeah, we'll get him a visa. We might have to fight a Hong Kong first, but I know a guy there.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Brandon]

Perfect.

[Kyle]

You Jack.

[Nick]

Yeah. Jack.

[Brandon]

You ruined our boy.

[Donnie]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm not dumb. I mean.

[Nick]

You're not dumb.

[Mark]

Not dumb.

[Donnie]

I don't think I found out I have adult dislike dyslexia, which I didn't know I ever had.

[Nick]

So that's just dyslexia.

[Kyle]

You have old acquaintances reaching out to you about.

[Donnie]

I do. Some old acquaintances reaching out, which is unfortunate.

[Kyle]

What are they saying?

[Donnie]

In due time. In due time.

[Mark]

But everybody's dumb when they start something new.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

You.

[Mark]

You haven't really podcast. You haven't really been on live air before.

[Donnie]

I'm not a live guy. I'm not a live guy. I was happy in my kitchen. I was doing. So I was doing my own science for years.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

And I was just having fun in there. Doing science. Doing food science.

[Mark]

So you regret this?

[Donnie]

No, I don't regret it. It's a new chapter of my life.

[Mark]

What have been. What's been the biggest negative?

[Donnie]

Well, I don't know. That's exactly not. I'm not sure.

[Nick]

You got a thousand dollars.

[Donnie]

Look, I'm not complaining. I've never complained.

[Nick]

All right. Okay.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Nick]

Sorry.

[Donnie]

I'm happy.

[Nick]

Sorry.

[Donnie]

I'm happy. I don't want it to seem like I'm ungrateful. I'm not ungrateful.

[Brandon]

I don't think you're ungrateful at all.

[Kyle]

Happy.

[Donnie]

I'm very grateful.

[Brandon]

I do not think you're ungrateful at all.

[Donnie]

I'm very grateful for that.

[Brandon]

I genuinely love you.

[Donnie]

And I love you.

[Nick]

We all love you.

[Brandon]

Brandon doesn't love you.

[Nick]

I do.

[Donnie]

Brandon and I have our own. Our own relationship. We have our own. Really?

[Nick]

And it's good, is it not?

[Donnie]

It's good. KB and I got grilled cheese together in New York.

[Nick]

I brought you cheese curds.

[Donnie]

Do you remember this? It was a very interesting lunch we had.

[Kyle]

Was this early on.

[Donnie]

Very early on.

[Kyle]

You were very.

[Donnie]

You brought me to a grilled cheese rest.

[Kyle]

Inquisitive about your future.

[Donnie]

Yes. And you gave me.

[Brandon]

And by the way, your future.

[Kyle]

What Did I tell you I would.

[Brandon]

Say Donnie, like, there was a time. Would you not agree? At this company, there was a time where you're maybe, like, trying to figure it out. You have figured it out.

[Donnie]

Yeah. There's a long time.

[Brandon]

You're crushing it.

[Donnie]

There's a time I had no idea. I was lost.

[Brandon]

Lost. And you are crushing it now.

[Donnie]

Well, thanks. I appreciate that. That means a lot.

[Mark]

Actually, you're one of my favorite people to work with.

[Donnie]

Man doing the most. Is that now?

[Brandon]

Yes. Yeah.

[Mark]

Came out Friday.

[Donnie]

Came out Friday.

[Brandon]

Anyone else want to compliment Donnie?

[Nick]

I already told him no.

[Donnie]

You guys, I don't need to be. I don't need to be.

[Eddie]

I don't like.

[Nick]

That's a good sweater.

[Donnie]

I think someone feels indifferent, sincere. I appreciate it. No, I really do. And I do enjoy coming on here as much as it seems like I don't. I. I appreciate the opportunity, the airwaves.

[Mark]

And you have to cut Jack McCarthy out of your life.

[Nick]

He's got to get.

[Donnie]

I know. He's like, what if you go all like, my roommate. They're just the guys that I love to death. But I At the same.

[Brandon]

Yeah. What if you go all the way to China and Goose just like Jack McCarthy.

[Mark]

It's McCarthy and rotten Peter and then.

[Brandon]

Put you back on a plane?

[Donnie]

I mean, that would be a waste of your money. But I don't think.

[Brandon]

No, I don't. I think it would be actually great if it. Fix your chi.

[Donnie]

Look, I. I'm Honestly, I. I'm excited to fix my chi chi.

[Eddie]

I'm excited for what comes after you fix your chi. I'm excited for Balloon boy, for Human rock.

[Brandon]

Possible gay stuff.

[Eddie]

Gay stuff.

[Mark]

The.

[Eddie]

You said you do anything with your body and you're curious.

[Mark]

Would you do something with your prostate?

[Donnie]

I mean, I saw the super bowl that you don't even need your finger in your ass anymore, so.

[Mark]

Oh, I did see that.

[Brandon]

Wait, that's true.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Blood.

[Mark]

Prick.

[Brandon]

I need that.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I want it soon.

[Donnie]

Well, too. I wouldn't. I don't know.

[Mark]

Know.

[Donnie]

I don't know. Prostate. Sure. Yeah. I'm curious. I'm open to it. I'm curious. Yeah, I know you're gonna try to throw the word buy in there. Don't even try. I'm not bi. Curious. I'm just curious.

[Eddie]

No one said you were bi. Curious.

[Donnie]

I know, but.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we actually didn't. We said you were just gay.

[Donnie]

Your leading question. Well, that you can't. I can't be just gay. That would be. That wouldn't make sense.

[Brandon]

What do you mean?

[Donnie]

It just wouldn't. I don't. I mean, whatever.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

What it.

[Donnie]

Huh?

[Eddie]

What?

[Kyle]

Oh, you've ejaculated on too many women.

[Mark]

Do you think there's a point where you, like, cross the sleep with too many women where you can't be gay one.

[Eddie]

It's like lifetime status.

[Brandon]

Yeah. If you've achieved, you're inelig. It's like trying to be president before age 35. You're ineligible.

[Donnie]

It's not what I meant.

[Brandon]

Ineligible for gay.

[Eddie]

Once you nut on enough women.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Ineligible for just gay. You can still be bi, bisexual, but.

[Mark]

Completely ineligible about to enter a woman. Hope you get upgraded.

[Brandon]

I've earned so many straight points. How could this be?

[Donnie]

I'm very comfortable with my sexuality if that doesn't come across.

[Brandon]

It does.

[Dave]

Does.

[Donnie]

I'm French in that sense.

[Mark]

That's gay.

[Brandon]

That's so gay.

[Donnie]

No.

[Brandon]

And a little mix of pedophilia.

[Mark]

French.

[Brandon]

Yeah. No. The French. The French get freaky.

[Mark]

Dude.

[Donnie]

The French, that's. It's a good culture.

[Dave]

I don't French tickler.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I'll report. I'll come back next weekend and see if there's any French. Any. Anything I pick up on that's in that sense.

[Brandon]

Then. Okay.

[Mark]

Do the best.

[Donnie]

Donnie.

[Brandon]

Donnie. Great job. Let's spin the wheel and let's check your chi. Yeah.

[Donnie]

I'm down to jack my cheek and.

[Brandon]

And I'm. I'm green lighting everything. I love it.

[Donnie]

Thank you.

[Eddie]

You gotta look up the dates, though. When Goo has seminars like Goo.

[Brandon]

If you don't get goo, you're probably gonna get it Goo Junior.

[Mark]

Yeah, I was gonna say. I'm looking at the website.

[Donnie]

It doesn't seem like I'll do more research to see if there's even a more remote island or something I can.

[Brandon]

Go to get something more expensive.

[Donnie]

I'll keep it within budget. I'll keep it under 10.

[Brandon]

What?

[Donnie]

They don't really guarantee.

[Mark]

They guarantee a talus master.

[Nick]

They don't get.

[Mark]

You're not guaranteed Goo.

[Donnie]

They're not guaranteed.

[Mark]

Maybe there are times where it guarantees.

[Donnie]

Goo, but I'm looking at. It's. There's a lot of.

[Mark]

Taught by a Chinese Taoist master.

[Donnie]

All right, so I'll do some more research.

[Brandon]

It's Goo or bo bust.

[Donnie]

It's. You can do. I'm not doing a webinar a year.

[Nick]

If you want to do a. Oh.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God. It's only 1500 50,000 cyn.

[Mark]

What is that in USD?

[Donnie]

I can't be going.

[Brandon]

No, you can't go for a year.

[Donnie]

It's the longest. I could go for two weeks.

[Kyle]

Yeah, there's an option to go for.

[Dave]

A year for only 25,000. That's like cheaper than living in the real world.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You get to live with a chi master. The rest.

[Donnie]

There are guys that. There's videos of guys that do kung fu for like 10 years and come back like. Not that I want to do that, but good learning.

[Kyle]

Veteran losers learning.

[Donnie]

Learning kung fu. No, they come back sick. They can backflip and they can break over their bodies. No, it's like the beginning of Batman Begins. That's like what I'm picturing this journey to be.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And again, I'm your Alfred.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's a good way of.

[Brandon]

Batman said that.

[Eddie]

Batman did a bunch of science like with the.

[Donnie]

Yes. So we'll. We'll focus more on you're Alfred. We'll focus more on Batman.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

And he was. He was. He had a dark side. He was a little. He was a little mad.

[Mark]

Is there a point where you'd ever want to become a vigilante?

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I do like breaking the law, but good to do good for good. So yeah, I'll be vigilante and I'll.

[Eddie]

Be the joker for you, Donnie. Good.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

That's what we need. And Mark, maybe we can fix this. Maybe we can. Maybe we can cross it. Maybe you can build a.

[Eddie]

Well said, Donnie. Well said. I agree.

[Kyle]

Nice man.

[Donnie]

I hope that makes you happy. Feel big. Hope you feel big, buddy.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

What if this buddy chi master comes in this week and like Mark's chi is perfect.

[Donnie]

He wouldn't. He would never say that.

[Brandon]

He never would.

[Nick]

All right.

[Brandon]

No chance someone that.

[Donnie]

That's. That. That, that. I'm done.

[Brandon]

All right, let's spin the wheels. See you, Donnie. He's going to China.

[Donnie]

I am going to China.

[Mark]

He's just new to live shows.

[Brandon]

I'm excited for him to go to goo.

[Kyle]

You think he's going to get goo.

[Brandon]

It's going to great.

[Eddie]

I think we're going to get great content out of there.

[Brandon]

Great.

[Nick]

We will. But it. His science project was. Does send me on a free trip to China.

[Brandon]

That's to get scammed. No, but he's not. This is not a mincy situation. No, it's not good content. But he's not going to show us water slides.

[Donnie]

He's not going to be allowed to film it.

[Nick]

It's just getting scammed.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he will.

[Donnie]

The whole thing is about anti.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but the guy's online, but him.

[Mark]

Coming back and regurgitating these stories will be phenomenal.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Donnie]

I don't think this guy. If, if.

[Brandon]

All right, so if we can't do this, then maybe we'll send him to one of those darkness.

[Nick]

No, he's going to China.

[Mark]

I don't think this guy's business model.

[Donnie]

Is going to allow him. Donnie.

[Mark]

To film and. And then a date journal free because then you wouldn't have to pay for the. The service. We'll cross that.

[Eddie]

But this, this isn't even the science. This is getting ready.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Eddie]

This is getting him in the right headspace.

[Brandon]

We're preparing the body for science.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Correct. Correct. Okay, good show. We'll check the chi. We'll get the chi.

[Dave]

Chi.

[Brandon]

All right. See, everyone?

[Donnie]

A Yankee Bob is the act.

[Brandon]

It's the actor tomorrow by.