We Are Using Big Cat For Clickbait | The Yak 2-13-26

Summary

The Yak — “We Are Using Big Cat For Clickbait” | February 13, 2026

Overview

This lively episode of The Yak brings together Kate, Brandon Walker, Francis, Eddie, Nick, and others for a classic freewheeling Barstool hangout. With several regulars (like Big Cat and Kyle) out or on vocal rest, the crew covers everything from hair transplants and nostalgia for 80s haircuts, to wedding etiquette, social media habits, feuds within Barstool, and some especially memorable live stunts that keep the show’s unpredictable energy alive. The conversation shifts rapidly through comedic anecdotes, lighthearted debates, and insider Barstool tales, all wrapped in the group's signature irreverent style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Missing Roster and Show Setup

• Roster Update: With Big Cat, Kyle, and Titus out, Kate steps in as host. The show immediately notes the absence: “We did send Kyle home—vocal rest. I told him to take next week if he needed it.” (02:44)
• Host vs. Hostess Language: Light banter about dropping gendered titles: “Is ‘hostess’ not a thing anymore?...they're saying calling ladies ‘actors’ now.” (02:53)

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80s Hair, Hair Transplants, and Embarrassing Hairstyles

• Barstool's Hair Transplant Trip: Kate and Brandon discuss colleagues traveling to Turkey for hair procedures, joking about people who are “bald-stool” and those who maybe don’t need it. (3:42–5:02)
• Destigmatizing Hair Procedures: Francis explains his own experience: “I did something called FUE,” — where individual follicles are transplanted — and the crew jokes about past horror stories with “plugs.” (08:05–08:44)
• Brandon on Losing Old Jokes: “One of my frustrations is the destigmatization of it. Losing a way to bust someone's balls…” (07:13)
• Body Hair & Maintenance: Kate shares she'd “rather just remove” hair permanently from anywhere but her head.

Notable Quote:
Brandon: “We don't see a horseshoe anymore...entire hairstyles of old sitcom characters are just gone.” (07:28)

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Freckles, High School, and Nostalgia

• Vanishing Freckles: Brandon opines that kids today don’t have as many freckles, possibly because they're inside more. “Did Covid kill freckles?” (09:09–09:45)
• High School Throwbacks: Stories of “smoking areas” in schools, daycares for students' kids, and the infamous Marilyn Monroe piercing as a teenage rite. (10:37–11:10)

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Content Standards, Anxiety, and Canned Work

• Canning Content: The hosts discuss projects they've never released. “We'll can ANUS episodes often…probably every other month.” (15:24)
• Anxiety Over Output: Kate admits to over 1,000 unpublished blog drafts and the nerves of pressing ‘post.’ (16:19)
• Social Media Strategy: Brandon outsources most of his Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok: “Katie Stats runs my Instagram.” (17:17)
• Facebook Monetization: There's surprise at Facebook payouts; Brandon realizes he may be missing out: “Maybe that's why Katie keeps doing it…” (18:09)

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Comedy, Relationships, and Candid Moments

• Francis’s Stand-Up: Francis talks about shelving a special focused on his marriage post-divorce: “It felt so dishonest... it would have been out of time with how things were.” (13:49)
• Valentine’s Day Planning: “Comedy show is one of the most underrated dates you can do.” (13:05)
• When Canned Content Helps: Francis admits that Tommy Walker is such a standout kid in his video series that “there are no other children who can hold a candle to Tommy Walker.” (19:27)

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Wedding Traditions & Speech Anxiety

• Best Man/Maid of Honor Speeches:
  • Eddie shares about recently giving one: “I went off the dome. I rehearsed it...it was at 9:30.” (30:01)
  • Francis is an old pro: “I have spoken at 14 of the 16 weddings that I’ve been to.” (33:33)
  • Kate: “Kept it quick—three quick jokes, something heartfelt.” (33:32)
• Changing Traditions: Less emphasis on family roles for speeches, more creative/varied entrances, and some regional traditions like the “dollar dance.” (35:03)
• Weddings at Barstool: “The couple met opening night at the Barstool bar in Chicago...I just fuck around. They lasted longer than the Barstool bar.” (34:39)

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Aging, Loss, and Reflecting on Life

• Friends Passing: “First 40 years of your life, you spend gaining friends. Then the last 40, you’re losing them.” (37:34)
• On Death in Small Towns: “Everybody knows everybody...all the people that raised us are just dropping out…” (38:07)

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Barstool Feuds & On-air Grievances

• The ‘Charity Case’ Tweet: Brandon vents displeasure about being called a “charity case” by Dante: “From that point on, I just saw white…when I rewatched, I got even madder.” (40:13)
• Clarifying Previous Jabs: Francis feels compelled to clarify comments from previous shows, especially regarding Jack Mac and Hannah Montoya, emphasizing respect for their work. (41:32–42:42)

Memorable Moment:
Brandon: “I was fucking seething on The Yak...I got madder on the rewatch…” (40:13)

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Barstool Character Roast: The Mincy/Whitney Feud

• Ryan Whitney Roasts Mintz: Whitney unleashes a diatribe about colleague Mincy’s oblivious behavior—airplane etiquette, freeloading, etc.—prompting group reflection. (51:02–54:04)
• Brandon’s Take: “...he is a good-hearted guy who does bad things. He isn’t a bad-hearted guy.” (58:45)
• The ‘Mincy Conundrum’: The crew debates whether being annoying but unaware is worse than intentionally being a jerk.

Notable Quote:
Francis: “You also can’t replicate it...He is just so singular...” (58:11)

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Gay Dating, Compliments, and Masculinity

• Connor Griffin’s ‘Gay Date’ Story: Connor shares being asked out by a male barber, which everyone treats with humor and as a compliment. Francis: “I get asked out by gay men so frequently that I would never tell anyone.” (66:13)
• Masculinity, Style, & Confidence: Francis reflects: “Men are enterprising…we’re hunter-gatherers…I think it’s just good style.” (66:41)

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Stunts, Gags & The Wheel

• The Infamous ‘Wet Wheel’ & Piss Punishment: The iconic Yak wheel lands on an especially wild penalty—one crew member has to pee himself on camera, sparking laughter, horror, and the kind of edge only Barstool pulls off. (101:05–109:19)

Memorable Moment:
Kate: “Just go ahead and...Yeah, towel up...Some people get shy and they have to get wrapped up in something to be able to do it.” (107:08)

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Miscellaneous Laughs, Candy, and Fudge

• Candy Shop Faves: Crew debates best candies (turtles, s’mores, fudge, bark, caramel apples), with some giving tips about getting post-Valentine’s chocolate on the cheap. (79:46–81:18)
• Bad Haircuts: Discussing terrible hairstyles and how they were received, even sharing embarrassing old photos and admitting they didn’t realize how bad it was until Barstool. (87:19–89:44)

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The Magic of Big Cat

• Clickbait in the Thumbnails: The show jokes about using Big Cat’s image and name to boost views even when he’s not present: “We got to find a way to get him on the thumbnail.” (92:37–92:50)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On losing old-age hair styles
  Brandon: “We have entire hairstyles of old sitcom characters that are just gone. And I wish we had them back.” [07:28]

• On the loss of childlike innocence
  Brandon: "Did Covid kill freckles?" [09:45]
  Kate: "You were walking around cross-eyed and freckled. That's disgusting." [09:55]

• On social media and monetization
  Brandon: “Katie Stats runs my Instagram. She...runs my Facebook.” [17:17]
  Francis: “I think people are not adjusted to this new era of me actually not having humongous reserves of open tickets available…” [13:09]

• On Mincy
  Whitney: “Everything that he does is just inconsiderate to others, constantly.” [51:00]
  Brandon: “It's good to see Whitney and them discover this.” [53:04]

• On childhood mishaps
  Brandon: “…I was the fall guy for a stolen Pringles ring…I didn't even do it it was somebody else…” [71:26]

• On masculinity and gay dating
  Francis: "I get asked out by gay men so frequently that I would never tell anyone." [66:13]

• On candid self-reflection
  Brandon: “If he had two straight eyes, this is fun.” [59:33]

• On the unpredictable Yak wheel
  “The wheel has a mind of its own…A 4-0 sweep means the person who got swept has to piss their pants on camera instead of going to get wet.” [105:01]

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Important Timestamps

• 02:44 – Roster update and Kate's vocal rest plan for Kyle
• 07:28 – Brandon laments disappearing 80s men’s hairstyles
• 13:49 – Francis discusses scrapping his divorce-related standup special
• 19:27 – Reflection on the failed attempt to make Tommy Walker's act a recurring series
• 33:33 – Francis reveals he’s spoken at 14 of 16 weddings
• 40:13 – Brandon vents about the “charity case” incident
• 49:46 – Francis breaks down the economics and etiquette of taking openers on the road for comedy
• 51:02–54:04 – Ryan Whitney rants about Mincy’s behavior
• 66:13 – Francis on being hit on by gay men
• 79:46–81:18 – Crew talk favorite fudge and candy shop items
• 101:05–109:19 – The “piss yourself” wheel stunt

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Conclusion & Tone

The episode is a textbook Yak: sharp banter, self-deprecating humor, personal stories, meta-commentary on life at Barstool, and bold, sometimes outrageous bits that push comfort zones and test camaraderie. There’s a constant undercurrent of ripping on friends, nostalgia, and an "anything goes" approach that keeps even a Big Cat- or Kyle-less show feeling fresh.

Final Sign-off:
Brandon: “Alright, we'll see you guys Monday. That’s Pissing himself.” [109:19]
Eddie: “Go piss yourself this weekend. Bye.” [110:18]

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For Yak newcomers

It’s an episode that encapsulates all things Yak: wild group dynamics, open-book honesty, relentless teasing, the surprise of live stunts, and an unapologetically Barstool vibe. Even with the regular headline names missing, the team keeps everything flowing, funny, and just a little bit dangerous.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[B]

What's up, guys?

[C]

It's Big Cat and Hank here, and.

[B]

The countdown to the biggest game of the season is on. Hank, how are you feeling about PFT potentially owing you $80,000 for the big game? I feel so good. I feel so confident.

[A]

I feel so excited that I already went out and stocked my fridge with twisted tea.

[B]

So I'm ready for the big game.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Love that. Twisted Tea is a refreshing, hard iced tea with 5% alcohol. It tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea, and it's smooth as hell, which is exactly what you'll need when you check in on Sunday night to see who has to pay who. So grab some twisted tea, good luck, and we'll see you in San Francisco. Twisted Tea Brewing Company, Cincinnati, Ohio. Please drink responsibly.

[D]

Three, two.

[C]

You the robot.

[A]

I'm the coolest one out of all of us.

[B]

That was incredible.

[C]

All right.

[B]

It's the yak. It's the rat. It's the yak. Here's the roster we're putting together right now. It's me and Kate. Danny's out recruiting. He's looking for Eddie. Nick is drunk, and he stumbled in right now.

[D]

No. You guys know what's happening?

[B]

What?

[D]

Everybody must be out looking for those Stella Blue cans.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

The ready to drink cans are here. I don't get this chance a lot, so back off. Welcome to the Yak. It's me, the host, Kate. Did everyone just log off? Crafted with 100% Colombian coffee. Uhoh. I'm falling apart.

[B]

Come on, come on. You got to finish. Finish.

[D]

Each can is a good source of protein, and it comes in two smooth flavors.

[B]

Okay, Br.

[D]

You got it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Oh, it's Francis.

[B]

Hey, Francis. She's going to finish the Stella Blue coffee ad.

[D]

Espresso cafe mocha, and espresso sweet cream. Whether you're braving your morning commute or chasing your pup, Stella Blue cans are for those who are always on the go. And for those who care, Stella Blue is more than just coffee. It's about giving back. The brand's named after Stella we all know and love, who inspired our mission to help more dogs find their forever homes. Every purchase supports animal rescue organizations. So when you drink Stella Blue, you're not just fueling your day. You're saving a dog's life. Try the new cans today. Taste the difference and make a difference.

[B]

We're back.

[E]

Welcome.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

So we did send. We sent Kyle home. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Vocal rest. I told him to take next week if he. Yes, you're right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You said you're the host. Do we stop adding S to things?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is hostess. Is it not a thing anymore?

[D]

I think host. I. I think they're saying calling ladies actors now and.

[A]

Yeah, I saw.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

That.

[D]

No more comedians. We're just comedians.

[B]

Stewards.

[D]

Stewards.

[A]

We're all stewards. Yeah. We dropped S's.

[D]

You could just call me.

[F]

I think you still hear waitress.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Waitress is gonna be tough to get rid of.

[A]

I mean, actress is still divided in the awards.

[C]

Right.

[D]

Yeah. Right.

[C]

Baroness remains.

[A]

Okay. Princess.

[B]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[C]

You don't have a whole lot of female princes.

[A]

No, no. We tried to recruit.

[B]

Dana's around. Right.

[A]

Baron office.

[B]

Eddie's.

[A]

Eddie's baroness office.

[B]

Well, we got. We got the bald stool group either is already on the way out or Mikey Betts is here. He's on the way out tonight. So that. That group is assembling in Turkey.

[D]

I did not realize Barstool Pat for the New York office is going. I thought he had great hair.

[B]

I think there are people going that shouldn't go. And I think Pat's one of them. Pat looks fine.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I haven't really looked at his scalp.

[D]

He's always been handsome. He's always had good hair in my mind. But you know how those gays are.

[A]

Right. When he's on his head.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

See the crown?

[B]

You probably can't notice the bald spot at that.

[A]

Yeah, definitely.

[D]

I love Pat and I. It makes me nervous that people I like. I don't care about the people I don't like getting an infection or something, but.

[C]

Right.

[D]

That makes me nervous.

[A]

I do feel if it's like a publicized thing, they're making content. These guys over there are going to be extra diligent.

[D]

Very true. It looks like they're having the best time, so.

[A]

He really does.

[B]

Yeah. Well, Mikey Betts is going. I don't know that he. I guess he's a little bald.

[A]

He needs it.

[B]

He could probably.

[A]

There was the second episode of. No, he went last year.

[B]

Oh, he went last year. Okay.

[A]

The second episode of barstool basketball came out yesterday, and Bets is the coach, and there are some angles where he looks like he needs it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's the right decision.

[B]

Well, let the guys go. That's what I say.

[A]

Francis, you got it stateside.

[C]

No, I did. I don't trust my. My head to those greasy the head.

[A]

Is an important part of the body.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It might be a sponsor.

[B]

How bad? I don't remember you being in bad shape as far as your hair.

[C]

No, I wasn't terrible. But, you know, yours was preventative. Yeah. You know where it's going. And if I could do it now when it. When it's less obvious or less dramatic, I'd rather do that. Had a really good guy here in Boston, Dave's Guy Lepresti. He's the man. Yeah.

[D]

I want to get mine removed. I want to do the opposite.

[B]

You want to go bald?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

From where?

[D]

Shave it everywhere but my head.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I've had friends who've gotten their legs done who say it's life changing to not have to shave your legs or your pits, actually.

[B]

Hair removal to where it just doesn't grow anymore.

[D]

Yeah. To never have to worry about that.

[A]

You're not a hairy guy, are you?

[B]

No.

[A]

I know your legs are pretty bare.

[B]

No, I don't. I don't have chest hair either. I have a barren.

[A]

I'm just. I'm covered.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. You don't seem like you would be.

[A]

Covered, like, pops out from.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Danny, what's your. What's your chest doing?

[F]

Oh, not much at all. Neither are the pits. Brandon, is any part of you salty that. You know this. This new hair. Hair transplant thing is becoming so popular and so accessible, and you were born with a natural full head of hair, and now everyone's on, like, the same playing field as you once they reach your age.

[B]

No, no, I. I think. Listen, I was born into a lot of problems, body wise. My ears are misshapen, my. My torso is odd. I look like a potato. But this luscious head of hair is a blessing, and that's the one I'm gonna ride to my death. So if you're trying to say that I. What are you trying to say?

[F]

I wasn't trying to even make a jab at you.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

I think a part of me. Part of me might be a little.

[A]

The one issue you don't have has been the one issue that's been solved.

[F]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That sucks.

[B]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[C]

I totally get what Danny was saying.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't. But also, I'm. I'm a hair drunk.

[A]

Are they still doing lipo now that ozempic's a thing? Because lipo is, like.

[B]

Good question.

[A]

Was it dangerous? And it was, like, pretty common.

[C]

I think they are. Yeah. I think they are. And I think to Danny's point, Brandon, the question Becomes. Are you frustrated that hair transplant is such an easy and destigmatized procedure and there isn't something to solve for or something that you.

[B]

Sure. I guess one of my frustrations is the destigmatization of it. I do feel like losing a way to make fun of somebody or busting their balls is kind of. We're losing a part of us because.

[A]

At least we had toupee, which you could also make fun of.

[B]

You could just make fun of. And also the hairstyles we used to have growing up in the 80s of our older men are just gone. Like the two rails on the side. The two rails. Oh, yeah. You don't see a horseshoe. That doesn't happen anymore. We don't see these hair. We have entire hairstyles of old sitcom characters that are just gone. And I wish we had them back. My cousin Brent, the candle guy, I believe he got hair plugs one time. I'm not sure, but I believe he did, and I want to make fun of him.

[A]

So plugs never looked good. Right. But I don't know what they are exactly.

[B]

Huh?

[F]

Plugs.

[B]

Oh, plugs. These called plug. These aren't plugs anymore.

[A]

No, those aren't plugs.

[B]

No.

[C]

I did something called fue.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I believe that's what they're getting. Something. Well, there's two. I don't think plugs are that common anymore. It may be obsolete.

[A]

Right. Because it was plugs. And then it was like you had the scar in the back of your head.

[C]

Yeah. There's the strip and there's the fue.

[A]

Now, which is the individual.

[C]

The fue is they take every individual follicle, like a thousand or something, and just move them to the front of your head.

[A]

When did you even recover for that? I don't recall.

[C]

It's such an easy thing. It didn't. It didn't. Didn't require a whole lot of.

[A]

They didn't have to shave your head or anything.

[C]

They did the sides and the back because that's the donor area.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But they didn't need to shave the front.

[B]

Me and Nick might have stumbled onto something in mostly sports, and I would like to hear your thought on this. When I was a kid, I felt like every kid around me, I felt like 50% of the kids I knew had freckles. And I don't think freckles are as ubiquitous as they once were.

[A]

Oh, you don't see freckled children.

[B]

You don't see as many freckled kids anymore. I think freckles have gone away.

[C]

Well, freckles, aren't they result of sun exposure, are they?

[B]

I thought they were all just born. I thought they were.

[A]

It's always redheads though, are they not?

[B]

Or oh God. As an 8 year old. An 8 year old kid with freckles. What did he have freckles as a baby?

[A]

I've never seen a freckle the way.

[B]

Yeah, babies aren't freckled.

[D]

Now I think dermatologists explain. Explained it to me was that freckles are the umbrellas of the skin. So if your skin was a beach and you have very sensitive skin and the sun keeps hitting it, little umbrellas are going to pop up.

[A]

But now kids are just spending their time inside. Did Covid kill freckles?

[D]

I know that in the summer when I'm outside I have freckles on my nose that get like darker to the point where my eyes. It's like so new to that my eyes will. I keep looking at my nose because they like pop up.

[A]

So you're walking around cross eyed and freckles. That's disgusting.

[D]

Here comes K. Mine do get like darker and stuff like I do.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

But you're right. There are some people that just naturally like. And then some women get them tattooed on their faces. Now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, now.

[D]

Yeah, it's the cute thing.

[A]

Do you remember when the dirty girls used to get the Marilyn Monroe piercing?

[D]

Oh yeah.

[A]

I was a sucker for.

[B]

That's that.

[D]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Like the Marilyn Monroe birth beauty mark. They would get that as a piercing.

[B]

Oh no. I don't know.

[A]

The dirtiest of the dirty.

[D]

Oh yeah, that was big. Like teen mom.

[A]

Oh, half the teen moms. If you got that you were pregnant within three months. My high squad, a daycare for all the students. Kids that good for that.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

Are you serious? Yeah, My homeroom was right next to the daycare.

[B]

My high school still had a smoking area.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

Yeah, we had a smoking area outside for the students and teachers to smoke together. That's cool because we, you know, the 18 year old students. But we never had a daycare.

[A]

Yeah, it was. It was filled. It was packed.

[F]

Were you just allowed to use tobacco in public schools?

[A]

There were a lot of guys that.

[F]

Would dip and then they wouldn't get in trouble if they were caught.

[A]

No, they wouldn't get in trouble.

[F]

Jeez.

[A]

A lot of people carried around spitters, but that was. Yeah, you weren't. Nobody was smoking.

[B]

Ever see a gun at school?

[A]

We had metal detectors.

[B]

Oh, we didn't have those I saw a gun at school. It was jarring.

[A]

Did you get hunting season off?

[B]

No, we didn't get it off, but we did. You got it off? Yeah. Wow.

[F]

Like the first day of it, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

You have kids riding tractors to school?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Certain. Yeah.

[A]

And they always won best car in the yearbook.

[B]

Oh, lifted up trucks and shit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Never won that one.

[A]

Do you ever have a lifted car?

[B]

No, I never did. I never got into it.

[A]

I lifted my Jeep.

[B]

Did you?

[A]

Yeah, it was sick.

[D]

Just.

[A]

I just didn't fit cuz I don't like make a noise sliding out.

[C]

Pretty high.

[D]

Diy. Did it yourself?

[A]

No, heavens no. No, no, no. I bought it lifted.

[B]

I. In school I only had small. I had small cars. And it wasn't till like 1920, when I was in college, I started getting SUVs and little bitty cars, little clown cars at a Ford Probe.

[A]

You've never really talked about your college experience.

[B]

Yeah. So you've a little warm.

[C]

I got hot. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

I would like to come to the show in Batavia tomorrow. No way.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Okay. Well, I guess not.

[C]

What? You took that as a.

[B]

Okay. Yes, yes.

[D]

Could I?

[A]

Of course.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think I'm still going ice fishing tomorrow.

[A]

What crowd are you expecting on Valentine's Day?

[C]

Couples. Yeah. You wouldn't believe how many messages I get from people saying, hey, Francis, my wife and I went through the process. We secured a babysitter and we were so excited. And then we saw that the tickets are sold out. Is there anything you can do? And I want to help them. I mean, I feel horrible for a couple that has set aside an evening and hired a babysitter. But it's like I have three different people that have sent me that.

[B]

Well, I mean, I gotta get the tickets first. Feel like if you're gonna. They don't get the tickets first, they skip the most important process. You don't get the babysitter before you get the tickets. You get the tickets first and then the babysitter.

[A]

A comedy show is one of the most underrated dates you can do.

[B]

I agree with this.

[C]

I think that people are not adjusted to this new era of me actually not having humongous reserves of open tickets available, which was the case for many years.

[A]

Credit sass. He put you on.

[B]

He put.

[C]

Did.

[D]

Are you switching it up a little bit? Are you gonna do a little love bantering in the next couple days?

[C]

Not really. I don't really talk to the crowd that often. I find that to be a little bit of a cheap trick. I let the material speak.

[A]

You working on a special?

[C]

I don't know. Really? I mean, I had one, but I dumped it.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You didn't like it?

[C]

No. It was a big decision.

[A]

Right. Because that's like a pretty. You got to invest in the.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I spent a good amount of money on it, but it was all stuff that was about my marriage and us trying to have kids. And I shot it at a time when, you know, my marriage was ending. So by the time we edited it, it was. It felt so dishonest to my. To my life that it would have been very out of time with how things were.

[B]

I was going to say that when I saw you, a lot of your act was about, you know, your wife and.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Trips you take in stuff like that, Right?

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

When it comes to bar stool workers, do you can much.

[C]

What do you mean by that?

[A]

Like, have you. Have you. Have you filmed much stuff and not put it out or you just like, fuck it?

[C]

Oh, you know. I had a whole series with Alex Bennett.

[B]

What?

[C]

That was like, going to be great. And we. Then she left.

[A]

You had a whole series with.

[C]

Yeah, we had like three or four pretty damn good videos shot, was the concept.

[D]

What was.

[C]

Was the finer things club type thing.

[A]

You guys were wealthy and existing.

[C]

Yeah. So we went and looked at. We like went and looked at like an $8 million apartment with some real estate agents in New York and toured it.

[A]

That's very interesting.

[C]

And then we went and did a like, champagne and caviar at a Russian caviar bar in New York. Some other things. It was cool. We had some cool things.

[B]

Yeah, that's an interesting thought. Do you have anything that you've recorded and never put out? Because I.

[A]

There's a lot of things and I add stuff. No, I. There's a lot of stuff I can.

[B]

I don't think I've ever canned anything.

[A]

We'll can Anus episodes often.

[C]

Really.

[A]

We'll finish.

[B]

I have. I have recorded anus with you that.

[A]

Y' all didn't ever put it out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We'll be like, that was just bad. And we don't put it out. And then we still put something out. It's probably not that good, but. Yeah, there's. There's probably like every other month we can Anus episode.

[C]

Wow, you guys are hard on yourselves.

[D]

That's. I've like over a thousand fully written blogs that I've never posted. Look at my drafts. They're like endless. And they took me forever. And then I'll Be like, that's not good enough. Same with videos. And then I'll look back a year later and be like, that was fine. Why didn't I put that out? I don't know. I don't know what that is.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

With blogs, when I was blogging, that was the most nervous I was to put anything out.

[D]

Yeah. And I don't have like a complex about it for some reason. I don't know.

[B]

That's interesting. You wouldn't allow yourself to just keep whittling at it. Whittling at it, whittling out. You just, you would just shelve it.

[D]

You can like look at my dress right now. It's like a thousand. It's crazy.

[F]

Over they personal stories or relating to current events.

[A]

Really anything you should personally start like putting them out.

[D]

Some of them are really well thought out. I have like a. My 10,000 pager about breastfeeding was going to do numbies. It's going to be great.

[A]

Oh yeah, that'd be good.

[D]

And I shall. Yeah. Then I'm like, that's not good enough. And then the next blog out it's like, guess this ass. Yeah.

[C]

Right.

[D]

I guess I could have posted mine and it, yeah.

[A]

Even like putting out a video. You put out something you work hard on, then it's right below something, it's quadruple the numbers and it's just like, here's me having a plum.

[D]

I know. Weird. Who knows?

[A]

You don't can anything.

[B]

I, I.

[A]

You don't run your own Instagram. You'll have some like pretty throwaway tweets. Then you'll post it on your grid of Instagram.

[B]

Yeah, well, this is my chicken. And Facebook too. I will, I'll have you post on Facebook. I'm, I'm actually pretty big on Facebook.

[A]

You've popped up somebody to add as my on my Facebook friend. We have one mutual friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who it is.

[B]

Who?

[A]

My dad.

[B]

Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. But, but it's all credit to Katie Stats. Katie Stats runs my Instagram. She and Ebo run my Tick Tock and she runs my Facebook.

[A]

So do you even log into Instagram at all? Do you like scroll it?

[B]

I will. She will text me and say x person DMs on Instagram. Go answer it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I'll be. And I'll go do that. And whenever I'm there I might look around. But, but other than that, that's on, that's on Facebook.

[A]

That eight 80K followers on Facebook.

[C]

79.

[D]

Damn.

[B]

Right now. Right now right now, it's not in college football season, which that isn't that many followers, but in college football season.

[A]

That'S a lot on Facebook.

[B]

All the videos do big numbers because Facebook is a breeding ground for football.

[A]

I've heard the payout of Facebook is crazy.

[C]

I've heard that too.

[A]

I was like, dave's pizza reviews. He didn't know he was getting a payout. And then all of a sudden they were like, here's a million dollars.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I don't see anything from payout on that. Okay, maybe I should check into it. Maybe that's why Katie keeps doing it. She's just getting. She's taking that payout what's good for her if she is deserved. But yeah, I don't know that I can. Anything. Everything I do, I do mostly live. I do this live. I do unnecessary roughness live a lot. So a lot of stuff just goes straight out. I don't even have to worry about it.

[A]

That is nice, huh?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You gotta start canon some stuff. It makes you feel proud a little bit. Like you have standards.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Rather than just no confidence.

[B]

Should we can that mostly episode we just did?

[A]

I don't. I got to.

[B]

I put that one on the shelf.

[A]

Yeah, I got too drunk.

[B]

We did can some of Tommy's answers from your kids show.

[C]

I understood.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I don't even mean it. Just like you were right about what you decided.

[B]

Yeah. We didn't want him to enter the political arena.

[C]

He had a great line, you know.

[A]

He'S about to get his driver's license.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

A boy that you film with 50 states of kids driving.

[C]

Well, he's always been precocious.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that was. That was a fun one.

[C]

Yeah, that was great. That was one of my favorite things I've ever put out. So much so that it actually led me to start a series around it. And then I came to find that there are no other children who can hold a candle to Tommy Walker.

[A]

Yeah, you started off too high.

[C]

Well, you just start traveling the country, you think you're gonna find more Tommy Walker's than there are none.

[A]

Also, like, everybody thinks their kid is hilarious.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

That was reaching out. You have a funny kid.

[C]

I met some cool people. I met some good kids. And there were some funny moments, but.

[A]

I really liked it.

[C]

It was a good idea. I just think. I just think you need like more submissions. And I'd get one kid from North Dakota and be like, okay, we're going to North Dakota.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you need like 30 kids. And you need to choose the best.

[B]

One that's one of those. I think you just got to take a lot of shots.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And eventually you're going to. You're going to sink two or three that are incredible.

[C]

Correct. But it was just so much travel, and I was trying to consolidate. I would say, okay, I've got a kid in North Dakota and South Dakota and Minnesota. So we'll hit those three and get them all to come as close to the border as possible. But, you know, you just. It just wasn't. It wasn't tenable.

[A]

How Cosby do it?

[B]

Well, how Cosby do a lot of things.

[A]

Pharmaceuticals.

[B]

Yep. Yep. Cosby was just. But that was when you're the point where you're huge and you're in LA and you can just bring them in. Bring them all in from all over.

[C]

The country and the team is vetting the kids and being like, this one's actually impressive. Whatever.

[B]

Just sit him in a room with Bill Cosby now. Be funny for five minutes.

[C]

Right?

[A]

He was good.

[B]

Oh, Bill. Oh, yeah. Yeah. One of the greats at a lot of things.

[A]

Yeah. Damn.

[B]

Yep. Stand up. Sitcoms, other stuff. Little Bill. Yep. Yep. Fat Albert.

[F]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

That Albert was Bill Cosby.

[A]

And he was Fat Albert or Bill.

[B]

Do we have or are the new kids cartoons. Will there ever be another Fat Albert?

[F]

Canceled.

[B]

Cancel. Right. They're not. Although body positivity. You would think maybe.

[A]

Yeah, but he'd just be Albert.

[B]

It'd just be Albert.

[E]

Ugly Betty.

[A]

Ugly Betty.

[D]

Ugly.

[A]

Buddy was not ugly.

[B]

Yeah, that was still.

[A]

She was supposed to be grotesque. She was just like a thick Latina.

[D]

Paw patrol does make little jabs at Rubble.

[B]

Do they?

[A]

Is Rubble chubby?

[B]

He.

[D]

Rubble loves his snacks. And then all the dogs laugh. And Rubble's like, so.

[B]

But Rubble's not even fat. Rubble's. No. Rubble's an English bulldog.

[D]

Muscular. He's got a square jaw.

[B]

Yeah. He's sturdy.

[D]

He's a sturdy boy.

[B]

Yeah, we don't. We don't have as many fats as we. I guess that's why barstool is such a great company.

[C]

Right?

[A]

There's a.

[B]

We got. We're. We're pushing our fats forward.

[D]

We're like a preserve.

[B]

That's right.

[F]

Imagine instead of like the hair transplant trip, we did Ozempic trip or fat.

[C]

Fat camp.

[F]

Fat camp. Fat camp.

[C]

Fat camp.

[A]

That is legs.

[C]

Boy, that's really good.

[A]

Yeah, but then they'd just get fired after they lost the weight.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you bring?

[C]

No Or. Or we could almost do it like a reverse fat camp. Everybody knows that on the Biggest Loser, all those people actually got more heavy afterwards. So the real prize would be who can lose the most weight and then gain the most back.

[B]

Oh, the race back.

[C]

The yo yo get back to fat.

[A]

What if we just sent our skinny people to get fat?

[D]

That too fat Doug would be great.

[B]

Ryan.

[A]

Fat Ryan.

[B]

Just making Ryan fat. Ryan's so skinny, it pisses me off. Saw him yesterday, I was like, God damn, he's thin. He's too skinny. Fuck you.

[D]

But he's also ripped.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, he is shockingly ripped.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is. Makes it surprising when he gets hurt every time he tries to do anything.

[A]

Yeah, maybe he's too skinny.

[B]

He got. Tried to get hurt. He got hurt being the goalie.

[A]

Yeah, he was dislocated shoulder, which has to hurt.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

What a.

[A]

There is nobody else in the office.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's dead. It's as dead as it gets. And there you go. What's his hand in his pants.

[D]

Hey, do you guys want to.

[B]

Yeah. Rick's hand was in his pants through.

[D]

The lame Valentine's cards I made for everybody.

[A]

He made Valentine's Day cards for everybody.

[B]

How lame are they?

[D]

They're so lame. I made them on my Instagram stories because I don't know how to edit still.

[B]

Okay, let me see him. Let us see him. Okay.

[D]

I sent him to dj. I don't know if he could pull him up.

[B]

Has.

[A]

Has be vassed to be your Be his Valentine yet?

[D]

Still waiting.

[A]

He'll do it.

[D]

We got a kid homesick today, so we're.

[A]

Is. Is he covered in spots still?

[D]

That was the other kid. This is. They traded out halfway through the week.

[C]

Oh, you didn't get them vaccinated?

[D]

No, no. You guys are vaccinating your kids. They've had every vaccine, and they're still. I don't know.

[B]

There's nothing. I mean, we have molded. It just gets a new untold sweetheart.

[A]

Oh. Okay.

[D]

That's me.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I didn't know who that was.

[D]

You're number one in my book.

[A]

Okay, you see?

[B]

Yep.

[D]

I can see where you edited Love you Valentine. No paws.

[B]

Beautiful.

[D]

Okay. You be the Jackie to my Danny, even though I have a crummy car.

[A]

Where are you guys?

[F]

There in bed at beach house.

[B]

That appears to be a bed. Nick.

[D]

The early days. My heart goes slam. Little Stephen Che hollering out that I love you.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Did you make the voice bubble look.

[D]

Like the devil and Shove. That's a heart. Roses are reds. Bad feet have bunion. I love so you so much I could eat a whole onion. Send that to somebody. Love girl. You got that number one john ham.

[B]

Yeah, I like the John.

[A]

That's a good one.

[D]

Nope, I do not love anyone else besides you.

[B]

That's double negative.

[C]

There's so many negatives in there. That was tough to follow.

[B]

Okay, Nope, I do not love anyone besides you. It rhymes.

[D]

A nope I do is a move that we do here.

[B]

Yeah. It's a yak thing that ruins my life.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That was my bad.

[D]

That was 30 seconds. All right, back to you guys.

[C]

Annie.

[A]

Is this your first Valentine's Day with Jackie?

[F]

Sure is. Sure is. We're going to.

[A]

You sound excited as.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

I feel like we talked about this. We went out Monday night with Addie. That's not Valentine's Day night at Gibson's. Tonight's my friend's birthday.

[B]

We're going. We're doing Whirly Ball.

[F]

Anyone ever done.

[A]

I want to do it so bad.

[B]

What is Whirly Ball?

[A]

It's like Rocket League.

[B]

I think I passed it. Is it on the interstate?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is this a Midwest thing?

[F]

I think it's just a Chicago thing.

[B]

Tell me what it is.

[F]

Basically like bumper cars and lacrosse. You kind of. You're driving on cars. I haven't done it like nine years. But you have like a little net. Like a lacrosse thing. And you try getting a ball into the.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

She's so pretty.

[B]

She is beautiful.

[C]

Who's that?

[B]

That's an Asian guy. Steve Chase.

[A]

Cousin Christy Kernst. Francis.

[C]

I'm in love.

[D]

Francis us a little bit more about this.

[A]

I can see you two together.

[B]

You're stunning. You point your stick to the left.

[A]

Let's get our booker to get her on.

[C]

Why did I expect him to have a really thick as?

[D]

There's two teams.

[B]

How does it work?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's really disappointing fr.

[C]

I was excited.

[D]

This is a 10 minute game. How does that even work? How does it stick up there?

[A]

I. I would expect it to look good.

[G]

Better.

[B]

Trying to get in the hole.

[A]

It looks pretty boring and shitty.

[B]

It didn't look great. Danny.

[F]

It's going to be great.

[B]

Brandon, you're going to play.

[F]

This is my workaround for not having to shore my car.

[B]

All right. What about tomorrow night? Tomorrow night's Valentine's Day.

[F]

No, she's leaving in the morning.

[B]

So you did content dinner with Eddie a Tuesday night. Which is the most romantic night of the week at Gibson's. You. You're going to your friend's birthday and then she's leaving.

[F]

Yeah, Valentine's Week.

[B]

That's not.

[F]

No, it's like Christmas Eve is better than Christmas.

[B]

Right, but that would mean tonight would be the night to not go to your friend's birthday. You go out for a nice drink.

[F]

She wanted to. We already did dinners. I know what I'm doing, Brandon.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Do you? Yeah. Okay. All right.

[F]

What's more romantic than bumper cars?

[B]

Last time you said that, you got cancer, so I didn't know what I was doing.

[A]

You don't want that again.

[B]

Yeah. You said you knew how to be a kid, and then you got cancer, so.

[F]

Yeah, and I. I beat the hell out of it. I. I kept my hair, Brandon, so I think you. I could say I didn't know what I was.

[A]

You didn't have your friends wearing bracelets for you, did you?

[F]

No, I refused. I refused. I didn't even like the hashtags.

[A]

But you had a hashtag, Danny Strong. It was live.

[F]

Like, Danny ssdc. Stay strong, Danny Conrad.

[A]

That sound ss?

[B]

Yeah, it sounded Nazi.

[D]

Ish.

[F]

I didn't make it up. But you're right. In hindsight, you can't. You can't make your own. Your own hashtags. That's just like, too, too cocky, too. Are they still seated?

[A]

Are they still doing wedding hashtags? I thought those sucked, too.

[D]

Yeah, I believe so.

[H]

Out on the course, they're the PGA.

[A]

Tour's best players, but in the arena, they're prime time.

[B]

And season two of TGL, presented by.

[H]

SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer.

[A]

Drops timeouts, overtime, and playoffs.

[H]

It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights.

[B]

It's TGL, presented by SoFi. Keep up.

[H]

It's golf.

[A]

Tune in to every match, only on espn.

[F]

Eddie, thank God.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

We have got on the bar out there in the lobby probably five to ten wedding invitations.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

There's a ton right here. I love getting them.

[A]

I do, too. One of these days, I'd really love to go.

[D]

Yeah, I should actually start taking note because I want. I want to party.

[F]

Wheel idea. Brandon.

[A]

Random wedding.

[B]

Random wedding.

[A]

Yeah, you have to go the next wedding.

[D]

I've talked about it on here before, but I told you, Pat and his friends hijacked somebody else's wedding hashtag once when the wedding party was, like, really shitty.

[A]

Oh, no.

[D]

Tried fighting them.

[A]

What?

[D]

Or it was like that. Somewhere in upstate New York. It was like the Travelers kind up there.

[B]

The.

[D]

And I guess was the other wedding party at the hotel. And these guys from the wedding party got drunk and started, like, harassing the wedding party Pat and them were in and, like, really messed things up and started a fight. So Pat and his friends, like, hijacked their wedding hashtag and made it all goofy. So if you clicked it, you would just see posts about, I don't know, gore. About gore and how awful these people were.

[F]

Eddie, you were a best man in a wedding last week, right?

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You give it a speech?

[G]

Gave a speech, yeah.

[A]

How'd you do? I'd imagine you're very good.

[G]

I did pretty decent. I. I went on. I. I rehearsed it. So I went off the dome. I feel like that's the best way.

[F]

To take another 10 points.

[A]

That's crazy serious.

[C]

That's amazing.

[G]

Yeah. I mean, you do it every fucking weekend.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

But, like, that would be why I would say it's easier.

[G]

Yeah, true.

[B]

I do it.

[D]

You.

[C]

You memorized a best man speech?

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

That's so impressive.

[A]

And after some drinks, I'd imagine I.

[G]

I kept it cool because I don't know what the line is for how many drinks before you do that. And I don't want to that up.

[C]

I'd go to.

[A]

Okay. I was gonna say four.

[G]

Yeah, I think I went to. I was in that range. And the speech was at 9:30.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But there's nothing better than when. That's when you're done with your speech. And then that first drink, you're like, now I can really take the governor off.

[G]

Loosen the T. So nice.

[C]

I've done my job, and everyone's coming up and congratulating me, and.

[G]

So nice.

[C]

And they're all paying for my drinks. Since this is not an open bar, Assuming.

[G]

Yeah, no, it was open. It was open. Confirmed open. Yeah. It was nice. It was nice.

[C]

How long was your speech?

[G]

I. You know what? There was. There was. We were co. Best men, so there was another one. So I. When I timed it, it was like four minutes.

[D]

Did you go before?

[A]

Was the other best man a brother of the groom?

[G]

No.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[G]

Just a friend. I went second.

[D]

Second. That's good, too. I think.

[G]

Yeah. So when second did you get.

[C]

Did you go for laughs or did you go for earnestness?

[F]

Tell them about that questionable joke you had.

[G]

Yeah, So I, like. So we were in the same frat, and this guy's just an absolute animal. Like, animal. It's one of those guys everyone knows as being an animal. And one of the things, like, Danny can confirm, like, just one of those guys everyone knows. And he's just. He's just. He's a cartoon character. And I told a story about how when we were sophomores, we would make. We would have the pledges smell his belly button. And I was like. I asked Danny beforehand, is that on? Is that, like, above board or, like, you know, is that fair?

[F]

Yeah, basically, like, making a joke about his hygiene.

[G]

350 people, right?

[F]

It's closest friends and family.

[G]

Danny said yes and started.

[F]

Because this is, like, that guy's rep. Yeah. You know, like, you're not. You're not exposing anything.

[C]

But the idea is that now he's reformed to some degree.

[A]

Did it land?

[G]

Exactly. Oh, yeah. People laugh. And I also came back to it at the end before the cheers. I said, hey, listen, everybody behave. Let's have a good time. Or I'm whipping out the Q tip and you're smelling his belly button. Oh, there's any fights or any people like that, you know.

[C]

Nice.

[G]

Nice loop back.

[B]

You're callback.

[C]

Yes.

[G]

You like call back, Joe?

[C]

I love a call back.

[G]

Yeah. So it's good. It was nice, but it's just. Just getting. Having a weight all day. Like, I'm sure you've done it. Like, has everyone done it before? Have you guys done it?

[A]

No.

[B]

No, I've never done it.

[G]

No.

[C]

You ready for this? I have spoken at 14 of the 16 weddings that I've been.

[A]

Francis, people love you.

[C]

No, I just. It's a natural thing. They know I'm the only comedian that anyone knows, so they're like, we want you to speak. And I'm not talking. Best man speech. It's usually the night. The night before.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

It's like when you have a truck and everyone's like, can you help me move? Kind of. It's like, we know that you can do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

But they also love you very much.

[G]

But that's a crazy part, too. They know Francis is very capable, obviously, because he does stand up there. There was a false perception of me. Because we do this for our job, we speak into a microphone, but that doesn't mean I'm used to speaking in front of 350 people.

[A]

You know, it's very different.

[C]

Different. But I would still. In that situation, I would still choose you.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

I think you're very funny and have stage presence and all that.

[G]

Thank you. But. Yeah, I know. I know what you mean. Have you done it. Kate, I feel like you. I could see you.

[D]

Yeah, I gave Matron of Honor speech back in the day and kept it. I tried to keep it quick because I've been at weddings where it's gone on for over 10 minutes where people start getting up and going to the bar. It's just brutal. So three jokes, three quick jokes in there. Something heartfelt.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Like what's perfect? What's the time frame?

[C]

Like, what do you guys think five minutes is. Is.

[A]

That's the very.

[C]

What? You should max it out. Yeah, I would say.

[G]

Agreed.

[D]

One inside thing that you just look at the bride and you're like real.

[A]

Heartfelt and then that's all you need and you're good. Brandon, at your wedding, who gave your best man speech?

[B]

So I don't know that where I'm from, we just do weddings the exact same as everybody else. We just didn't do speeches. I didn't have that big of a wedding. We went to the church, we had a reception afterwards, some catered food, somebody sang a song and that was. That was pretty much it. We didn't. We didn't do speeches. Yeah, we didn't. Didn't do any of that.

[G]

Another funny thing to bring back to that is they, the. The couple actually met the opening night at the Barstool bar in Chicago. Also kind of funny.

[F]

How many times have you told them that you're responsible for.

[G]

Well, yeah, I just fuck around.

[A]

They lasted longer than the barstool.

[G]

Exactly. That's why. That's why it was great. It was like the Friends and family night. And I. I don't know, you get tested and inviting groups of girls. So she was part of a group of girls that, that I knew and they met there and then that's, you know, kind of how everything started. So that was an easy working, you know, But I think you're right. There was a lot. Do you guys do the dollar dance?

[A]

What's the dollar?

[G]

No, no. I went to one in Southern Illinois that did the dollar dance.

[D]

Isn't that where you like. It's almost like they're strippers. You go up and put the money on them.

[F]

Isn't that for his like a Hispanic wedding?

[G]

Maybe? I don't know. I did one.

[F]

I did one.

[G]

It was like six hours south and that was it. It's kind of like everyone, like gets in a line and then you maybe dance with the bride of the groom a little bit and you gotta like, stuff the bucket. That's the only time I've ever seen.

[C]

Well, that was a Jamaican thing.

[G]

I don't know.

[F]

Is it becoming, like, less weird to not have your brother or sister as the best man or matron of honor? I'm seeing more and more how they don't. Like, you used to have the same number of groomsmen and bridesmaids. That's changing. You can have like three best men right now if you want.

[D]

I'm seeing ladies having dudes on their side.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

You know what's really dying out, which is nice, is the entrances. I feel.

[C]

Oh, I hate being in a wedding.

[A]

Party and having to do the entrance.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the couple before you steals the. Oh long snapping the bouquet.

[B]

You have to pivot.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you have to pivot.

[G]

Yeah. Don't you agree, though? I feel like they're dying.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's horrible.

[E]

I'm doing one in two weeks. It's just a group bridesmaids entrance and then a group groomsman's entrance. But we keep getting asked what song we want to do or what. What, like, skit. Like people do, like 30 second entrance. You have 30 seconds to do something. You got to come up with something. So I don't know what we're supposed.

[D]

To do, but it's all.

[E]

All the boys.

[F]

I think I'd rather get the heads up like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Can at least think about it for a second. As opposed.

[D]

I did one like that and all the brides movies. We did the Bernie. I'm dating myself. Remember the Bernie where you pretend Bernie was. Bring that back. Do the Bernie.

[G]

Agreed.

[A]

Oh, I was a groomsman once, and the bridesmaid I was paired with was also a dude, so we had to walk in together.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Very nice.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I. I think I just missed a little bit a lot of this experience because I have three best friends that have been my best friends in adulthood. Two of them never got married, so I just never, never got to do any of that. And the one that did get married was. He was first before everybody. It was like in 2002. And I just never really. Never really got it much.

[F]

Should we throw you a wedding so you could be a groomsman?

[B]

Oh, my God, no. I don't want that at all. I mean, I know we'll do it for you. I'm closer now to my kids weddings. I am to my friends.

[F]

You got a practice.

[C]

Brandon? Do you know a lot of people that are passing away?

[A]

I do.

[C]

You do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It sucks.

[C]

I saw Bill Burr, I think, said this. He was like the first 40 years of your life, you Spend gaining friends. And then the last 40 years of your life, you spend losing them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Really struck me.

[B]

I can't say I've lost any real. Like, I've lost many friends yet. That hasn't really happened. But this week was a little jarring when Vanderbeek, 48, and the lead singer of 3 Doors Down 47 both died within three days.

[G]

Did they say how he died?

[B]

They were both sick.

[A]

They were both cancer.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I haven't. Now everybody's. It's like every other week, everybody's parents are going. All my friends that were growing up, all the people that raised us, they're all just dropping out like flies, which I guess that's natural part of life.

[C]

But does that hit you hard?

[B]

Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, a little bit. Small town and everything. Everybody knows everybody.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But I haven't got to the contemporaries dying yet.

[A]

Have you ever dated somebody who's passed after. Maybe you weren't dating anymore?

[C]

I told this I was this girl's first kiss. She wasn't mine, but. All right. She was killed. All right.

[A]

Sorry to say that.

[C]

She was killed. Killed, yeah.

[A]

Good Lord. That has to feel really strange.

[C]

I hadn't spoken to her, you know.

[A]

Yeah, but it would still.

[C]

She wasn't a very good kisser.

[B]

Well, actually, you don't have to.

[F]

She didn't have to kill her.

[A]

She certainly wasn't your first kiss, though.

[B]

No, no, not close.

[G]

She was like, sixth.

[C]

Probably, like, third.

[B]

Okay, well, the third's pretty close to one, though.

[C]

Yeah, but back then, that's that matters.

[A]

You were a. Yeah.

[G]

Damn. Did you get into. You talking shit about Trinidad Chambliss yet or.

[B]

No, no, no. We did it all. Mostly a little bit. Yeah. It's just, you know, the fact that we're at a place where NCAA has no teeth to fight these things and these, these. The SEC is the one that's going to do it. The SEC taking their fights to judges that are rooting for their schools. You know, Alabama did a Tuscaloosa judge. Ole Miss does a Calhoun City judge. Like, just. It's embarrassing.

[A]

But what's the defense of, like, letting him. It's his sixth year.

[B]

Just. There are no rules, and they know that there are no rules.

[G]

I'm not talking about that at all.

[B]

What are you talking about?

[G]

I'm talking about you tweeting charity case. Oh, and everybody. I've never had more fun reading someone's replies.

[B]

So you see this? Yesterday? Yes, yesterday, right after the act. And I'll just say It. I was fucking seething on the act. I was very angry. Rightfully, I was really, really, really fucking mad to the point where when I got home last night, I went back to watch it, to see. Did you get mad for no reason? And I got madder on the rewatch when it. When it was because what I was trying to do. He was mad at you for not talking to him for the early days of Barstool because the fact that he. You were talking to Dave fucking Portnoy. Right.

[A]

Or his book.

[B]

Right. You were writing his book anyway. And I was going to say, you know, as an outsider, Dante, as an outsider, tell me the reason why you would be one of the great ones to talk to about this book. That was the question I was going to ask. And I said, as an outsider. And he goes, no, you're a charity case. And from that point on, I just saw White. And on the rewatch, I got even madder. I have no idea where this was going. Anyway, I tweeted out, charity case. Right after the Yak. Just because I was still thinking about it, I tweeted it out and then four or five hours later, the Chambliss ruling comes down and Ole Miss fans show up and they're like, you fucking idiot. You loser. Michigan State's going to keep losing. And you're just mad because Trinidad Chandler. I'm not. I wasn't talking about that, you idiots.

[G]

It was so perfect. But there was no way for those people to know.

[B]

No way for it. It was one of those coincidences, like. I see. If you're going to be a sensitive little homer that gets mad at everything that would have. I see where they're coming from.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was a complete and total. But, yeah. When I rewatched it, I got even madder last night than I was yesterday.

[A]

Have you talked to him?

[B]

No, I don't think I'm going to again.

[A]

Ever.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's it.

[C]

Well, if we're on the topic of correcting things that were said yesterday, I want to clarify two things that I said. One was. One was about Jack Mack and one was about Hannah Montoya. So I said, you asked me, Nick.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you ever get chagrined when I put something out and it doesn't.

[A]

It's something you aren't proud of, but it does.

[C]

Well, yeah. And I said, I'm dismayed by the success of Jack Mac. I didn't mean that like he's bad. I meant the format of what he does being so unbelievably. Popular at just this of. Or like, talking about an event. I was like, the fact that that is what as people want to watch on TikTok is tough for me because it means that I'm just like, wasting my time.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And I felt bad because I do like Jack Mac and I didn't. It obviously came off as a shot at him, but I. I should have been more clear. And then I threw in the Hannah Montoya thing and I was like, well, I can't compete with her. I don't know what's going on there. I meant like, I don't. She has a grasp of what Gen Z TikTok wants and I can't. I have. I'm not on top of that at all either.

[A]

In translation, though, just wanted to.

[C]

I like both of those people, so felt the need to.

[F]

I know what you meant to. How many of the replies do you think. Actually think that you meant that as opposed to them just like, trying to stir up, though?

[C]

Oh, I don't know.

[A]

Or just a joke.

[C]

Honestly, if I didn't. If I didn't like them, I don't think I would.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Clarification. But I do like both.

[A]

Who would you throw a job a shot at?

[C]

Dante.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's because I like watching him explode.

[A]

Oh, he scares me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very afraid of him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He takes so many meetings in the Anus Room and I just have to tiptoe in and grab my stuff.

[B]

Why is the Anus Room the hub for all people who. Who have activities to do? I don't know.

[A]

Because it's not exactly comfortable.

[C]

I slept in there for all of surviving Barstool.

[A]

Well, I'll be okay.

[C]

That was fun.

[A]

We forgot to take down the Riley Cooper jersey in the background. Every testimonial in that big budget program. Riley Cooper right in the background.

[G]

Yes. I think it's because it's the most centrally located studio that people actually populate. That's next to the.

[D]

There's that, but it's also always dark and it's like a cocoon.

[A]

Dark and cold.

[D]

Like a. A little.

[A]

And there's no. You can't tap into the cameras, right, tj?

[B]

Oh, yes, I can.

[C]

What?

[F]

I think you can't hear the audio, though, or something.

[A]

There's something that it doesn't have on.

[E]

The grid ever since MOOC Can't Sleep started.

[B]

I can go in there now.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[E]

Or it's actually since the 100k word stream.

[A]

Okay, so. But it's just the mook.

[E]

It depends on whatever camera he has put live.

[C]

Okay, Okay, I have a question. So Mook is coming to open for me in Houston because my normal beloved feature, Brandon Barrera is not available that weekend. So I'm very excited to have Mook. Harry has loaned him out to me, and my question for you guys was, and now he'll know, but do you think that I should treat him to just an unbo. Like, give him a really nice hotel room, tip him out thousands of dollars and just be like, yeah, thanks for coming. Act like that's my normal run of show one so that when he returns to working with Harry, he's like, man, this guy fucking 100%. Yeah, I thought about doing it that way.

[A]

When is he doing that for you?

[C]

I think that's in April. I think we're going to Houston.

[G]

Are you confident that Harry never does that?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I brought this up to Harry because I didn't want to make Harry look bad. So I was like, I don't want to tip him more than you do, even though I did. And he said that usually what he does is they'll do a bunch of shows together and then Harry will give him a sort of like a lump sum after a good portion of work. But, you know, everyone's different. Like, and this is a weird thing that I. I don't really know how this hasn't come out, and I'm not going to be the one to break the seal on it. But huge comedians, very, very popular comedians, the range of what they pay their openers is orders of magnitude different.

[A]

Well, why don't you put somebody up who's somebody who's notorious?

[C]

I'll say that. The most generous person I've ever heard of in my entire fucking life is Shane Gillis, okay? It is outrageous how much he pays his openers. Outrageous.

[A]

Have you ever opened Shame?

[C]

I've been asked to.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But I was not able to, sadly.

[F]

So the club gives the. The main. The main act all the money, then the main act issues distributed.

[C]

No, the club will have a fee baked in to pay their opener. But when you're starting out, if you're not selling tickets that well, like, I mean, the way it works is for many years I couldn't afford to even bring my own opener because I just was selling so poorly and getting paid the minimum, which was like 1800 bucks a weekend, but you cover your own flights, call that 500, and then you pay 10% to your agent, 10% to your manager on top of that, and then you're taxed on that remainder. So On a full weekend. I remember going to Richmond, Virginia. I got cut. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, five shows. Got me a check for 1800 bucks. I'm paying for my food the whole time and my flights. And then taxed on. I probably walked with net, like 400, 500 bucks. Wow.

[F]

It's probably a dumb question, but is it that beneficial to have an opener? Like, is it really?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So you work your way up to a point where now you can make the demand. And the club would just appoint. They like to cultivate their own local talent. And they're like, we want to use our openers. We want to use our own host. And then you get to a point where you're like, I'm bringing my own people, and don't tell me I'm not. And then you get to a point where you're like, get my people a hotel room. So I want. Now, that does come out of your bottom line, But I'm now at a point where I'm able to have my opener in a hotel room.

[A]

The same hotel you're staying in, doll.

[C]

Depends. I checked to see. I checked to see where the club has booked us. And if it's a decent hotel, I stay there with my opener.

[A]

And if some clubs have, like, apartments. No.

[C]

Yeah, condos.

[A]

Okay. How are those typically?

[C]

Usually pretty good.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

In Denver, we'll. We'll stay there. There's a famous one there. It's pretty fun. They've got, like, all kinds of funky stuff, like pinball machine and shit.

[G]

Now, do you want to do that because it's a rite of passage or because you feel better with your own opener?

[C]

So that's a great question. No, I want my own friend to come have breakfasts and lunches with me. It's companionship. And I know. I trust this person. They know how to set the table for me. I know that they're not gonna like. For years, when I had whoever the club was appointing to open, you'd have a host come on, and you never knew if they were gonna be any good. So they might just, like, cool the room off. Right. And then the feature would come on. And often the feature. This is how they make money, is they travel around featuring at clubs that know them. And so the feature, right. When their set ended, very often would be like, all right, everybody. So I'm not making any money, really for this. And I'll be out in the hallway after the show selling koozies and T shirts. I hope you'll buy them. I make nothing. Goodbye. Here's Francis and now all of a sudden, I'm coming up to, like, a QVC fucking commercial that's been. You know what I mean? Like.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And I didn't really like. You know, I understand, and I like that they need to make money, and I get that. But the club was paying them their 150 bucks a show, and I just didn't really like the commercialism of that. I don't sell merch.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And it felt very like you're hawking to the crowd that I brought in here. I didn't. I didn't really like that. So finally you get to a point where you bring your own people and you're like, I don't want you doing crowd work. Keep it relatively clean, whatever. And then you can kind of create a show.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I trust that my feature now is. Is very much a part of our show, and we together present an hour and a half of comedy that I trust will be good.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Yeah, it is interesting.

[A]

Interesting. Changing of subject a little bit. We just got a text. Did you see it?

[B]

I did not see it.

[A]

Like, you'll like it probably will.

[G]

Oh, you will love it.

[A]

I think Ryan Whitney responded to Benjamin Mintz.

[B]

Oh, I did see that. The Chiclets guys are. Are, are. They're in a feud with Mints now.

[H]

He's a very strong word. I do not minty at all. I don't even really know him.

[C]

That doesn't sound.

[H]

It just drives me nuts. He drives me nuts. Everything that he does is just inconsiderate to others constantly. And he has the greatest job in the world, and I don't get how he has it. And he's just there.

[B]

I just want to understand the burden Ron Whitney must carry around Earth every.

[H]

Day, being that negative and that just to you.

[B]

I've never heard him say anything positive. Not about you for five. You think he's talking to him?

[C]

Talk about his butt?

[B]

Look, I mean, I don't know. He was the one who once told Dave Fortnoy to choose love. And like Donnie does. Look in the mirror, Ryan. I don't know. Have you ever chosen love?

[G]

Say something positive about that video.

[H]

Donnie. Donnie looks great. White socks. Dave cracks me up. Always kind of gone to battle with him, but he's funny. But white talks. Dave works and he makes. He makes content. He's on a show. I think it's a daily show. He's on the dog. He does stuff. He does stuff. And Mincy, I'll tell you right now, please, God, please, God, don't ever Say you feel bad for me again. Mincy, I'm a grown adult with a wife and children and a job. And I show up to work and I do my job, and I don't lay my feet across seats on an airplane, and I don't lay wet bathing suits on my friend's house and ruin the $1,500 finishing of his wall. And I don't look around and walk around searching for free gifts and free items. And I do not grift my way through life. So you can't feel bad for me. Miny, I feel for you. I feel for the lack of ability that you have to ever notice that you're just ruining people's days?

[A]

Wow. I'll be.

[C]

That's as powerful. Hearkens to Harry Potter speech to Voldemort, where he's like, I don't hate you. I feel sorry for you, menses.

[A]

Voldemort.

[B]

I feel like. I don't know what a good metaphor for this is or what, but I feel like I've been screaming this for four or five years, and I was screaming into the void for so long. Finally, the veil has been lifted and the world is looking. Oh. Oh, he wasn't kidding. This guy really is an inconvenience to everybody.

[F]

But what were some of the things you saw early on? Because, like, we see stuff in the office, but, like, the plane thing, that's different. That strikes a different chord than him, like, showing up late or, like, showing up late to, like, a paid shoot or something.

[B]

You know, it was just always. I don't know. It was. I don't want to cross the line into real stuff at all, but. But I don't know. It was just. It was just always.

[F]

I guess the Thanksgiving thing was big.

[B]

I forgot about that. The Thanksgiving thing was big because I actually had him in my house, and he actually did rub my wife the wrong way.

[C]

And.

[B]

And.

[A]

Which has to be impossible.

[B]

Which was. Which was hard to do. It was hard to do because she's a very sweet lady. But anyway, it's just to keep it on the funny side. It was. It's good to see Whitney. Whitney and them discover this.

[A]

Did R.A. say something about him, too? T.J.

[B]

Lay yourself out on two seats of a plane so that your legs are dangling outside. I. If I was on the plate, I would have been praying for turbulence. And the beverage car gets away from the stewardess and Joe Theismans his leg. Like, I'm a tall guy. If I sit in the aisle, I get to watch my knees Just going into the thing. The fact that he splays out like that, leaves his legs dangling, puts the seat back on the guy next to him for no absolute reason. And then Donnie caught up with him at a Turkish fucking bath and he just like offered the worst excuse ever. Like, oh, I thought I could lay there. Bro, you're fucking six feet tall. You think your legs shrink when you're 35,000ft up? Like, look at that.

[H]

He's just the most inconsiderate person in the world. And it's very funny that he released a statement today. He just went after me. And I'm a miserable guy and I'm a dickhead and I'm living, I must be living a heavy life to be this miserable mint. I'm just somebody that will actually call you out because all these barstool goons, they just laugh at them and they're not laughing with them, they're laughing right at him. Right? And Dan just loves it. It's literally Dan's entertainment. It's like this clown in the circus.

[G]

I thought Dave hired him.

[H]

Well, Dave can't stand him. Dan said he hopes Dave legit. Can't stand him. D Dan, I believe, said he hopes he gets kidnapped in Turkey. And then Miny comes at me because he's obviously not going to go with them. But he came at me. I wish I was. That guy woke up and had his like, head in my lap and just like, boom, elbow right to the temple. Like, get out of my space. The middle space is shared by both of us. Not going to have you laying down on me. Just douche. He's, he's so like infuriated. Like it's just a guy who, it never seems to apologize or he does and they're like these half ass apologies and why do I care? He doesn't do anything to me. I don't really know. Brandon Walker could almost be like a Massachusetts guy because he just can be a real prick sometimes. But in a funny way, he's been saying for years, this guy sucks.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Wait, I, I, I did not realize this. That person that was in Miny's row was not.

[A]

No, that's gold finger.

[C]

That's gold.

[B]

That's one of ours. Okay. Okay.

[F]

And the guy behind him was Papa Best. Yak Idol, Bronze.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Oh, oh, was it all the best is out there.

[F]

Yeah, he's paying his way there.

[B]

I did kind of think when Papa Best was here for that incredible barstool, Idaho, Missouri, I did think he would, he would stick around and pop back up and things.

[F]

He's in my investigation videos. He's a forensic specialist.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

He hasn't left.

[B]

He wasn't right for that. Barstool, Missouri, because he. I don't think he was willing to turn himself green, but he. He should be around character. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, we could have picked anybody from that competition. And then they're a superstar.

[B]

It was. Could have been anybody. Anybody.

[F]

Let me ask something about Mincy. I brought this up before.

[B]

How.

[F]

How much more or less infuriating would it be if after something like the airplane sleep, he just simply said that he doesn't care that he's, like, being rude. Instead he says, like, I didn't know I was being.

[B]

I think it would be.

[F]

That's almost more inferior.

[B]

I think it would be better if he leaned into it as a personality trait where he leaned into being the bad guy.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Whereas his entire existence is being a bad guy and he's unaware.

[C]

Oh, I don't know if I agree, Brandon.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think that if he started making it intentional and owning it, it would lose, like, its charm in a way.

[B]

His intentional videos are never good at all. Yeah, so. So maybe I'm. I'm off. I'm off the mark on that. But just, just one time, wouldn't you like to say, hey, Mitzi, when you accidentally. When you accidentally showered that guy with Styrofoam when you were opening that bobblehead, what were you thinking when you did that? And he's like, fuck that guy.

[F]

Right.

[B]

One time. I wouldn't mind seeing that, just to see how I react to that.

[C]

Yeah, maybe true. Maybe true.

[G]

I did not realize until recently how much it's really bothering people. Is that something.

[F]

What I'm. What I'm kind of saying is I think what bothers people more than you think is the lack of awareness, which is like him saying, I don't know, as a. As opposed to saying, like, oh, I don't give a fuck.

[B]

I think the real thing where we. Where we are is a lot of people who are fighting for fighting and trying to find their thing and working and trying to find their thing and trying to matter in barstool and trying to get something and trying to. And then he just doesn't have to do anything and he's rewarded with the best life of all time.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, he has the best life of all time where he has to do nothing and everything's free. But. Are you jealous? No, you can't be jealous of that.

[C]

So it's a weird Thing you also can't replicate it. I don't think that that's anything that anyone could ever try to strive for. He is just so singular.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's a perfect storm. And look at how much time we spend talking about. Right.

[G]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean? Like, he's never gonna be gone from here even if. Even if people love to hate him now. So I don't know. I have a soft spot for.

[G]

Because that's what I'm even saying. Like outside the building, I was getting texts from like personal people like, hey, do you guys. How much longer are you guys gonna do this? Because I think I'm like gonna mute everything.

[B]

Yeah. I have started to get DM saying stop talking about yeah. And I'm sure I'll get those same DMS today. And this is the first time in five years that's happened.

[G]

How do you feel then? Like having to, you know, go into like dip into the circus so often then?

[B]

Well, I've said this before. I think that is a. He is a good hearted guy who does bad things. I don't think he's a bad hearted guy. So. So I don't. Yeah, I think he's. I don't know how I put it before, but he's a guy that just isn't aware of what he does to people and isn't aware. And I don't think he. That makes him a bad person.

[F]

I get it. Being annoying, but like it's so fascinating.

[B]

That it is fast.

[A]

I want to talk from afar, but it is here. It's so fucking.

[B]

It is a strike of lightning that it could happen. Like what other company, what other world would we.

[C]

And if he didn't have the body he does or didn't look the way he does, it wouldn't work. It's all has to be. It's this whole package.

[B]

If he had two straight eyes. This is fun.

[A]

Oh my God. Yeah.

[C]

What do you think this is pre surgery still?

[G]

Hey, what do you think?

[D]

I. I think if I needed help with something seriously and he did have a connection that could help me, he wouldn't hesitate.

[A]

I agree. I agree.

[D]

But he would go above and beyond. And sure, it would make him look.

[B]

The amount of credit he'd want.

[A]

Right. There's that.

[D]

But he would still do it directly.

[B]

On you one time.

[D]

That's fine. But again, I think that's just who he is. I kind of don't take it personal because I. In the moment I did. But like in the big picture, I don't take it too personal because I feel like he did. I don't want to say he had like a charmed like life or whatever, but I do think he's got these blind spots that like, it's not on purpose, but it is wild. But it's like. I don't think he's a bad guy. I just, I'm not like offended by him. I don't know. I know he makes people angry and I just don't feel that same.

[F]

Yeah, I agree because it's not intentional.

[A]

When I get angry, I have to just be like, what am I, what am I doing?

[D]

Yeah, I don't feel angry at him. I don't know. I think he'd help you if you needed it.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

So if I could help him. NASCAR the Daytona 500 isn't just the start of the NASCAR season. It's the moment when everything comes alive again and sets the tone for the entire year. It's iconic speed, pure spectacle and adrenaline filled moments wrapped into one larger than life American tradition. The great American race is prestigious without feeling stuffy and unpredictable in a way that keeps your heart in your throat for 500 miles. For drivers, it's the race that defines careers and etches their names into the history books forever. Full throttle three wide. Door to door racing. Action for the win. Clear your schedule, grab a drink, tune into the Daytona 500. Sunday, February 15th at 2:30pm Eastern on Friday Fox. So check that out. There's a thing on the prep sheet and I do a show with this guy every day and I have no idea what you're talking about. Steven Connor Griffin asked out on a gay date by a man. Question mark. What?

[A]

Asked out on a gay date by a man.

[B]

What did this happen? How did I miss it?

[C]

This was, if I'm being completely honest, this was overheard as I was making the prep sheet. I don't know if this was even for air, but I thought that it'd be.

[B]

It is now. Connor Griffin.

[C]

Connor.

[B]

Connor's got to get it because I did not know this. This is not something he brought to most esports. This is not something that probably even was forever. Guess what? Here we are. Connor got asked out on a gay date. Now he's been frequenting. He's been frequenting the areas.

[A]

What area?

[B]

Every story he ever tells on. Mostly he turns out he's right by this gay bar in his neighborhood.

[G]

Oh, really?

[B]

And I don't want to say the name of the the gay bars just case it's not a gay bar. I don't know anything about it, but anyway, sure.

[C]

I feel like it would help the story if you said the name.

[G]

Is it in Boys Town just for.

[C]

People to know in case, you know.

[A]

Rabbit hole.

[B]

Rabbit hole.

[A]

Oh, that is gay bar.

[B]

That is a gay bar.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. All right. I think. What?

[F]

I don't think so.

[A]

Is it not. Dude, I've been there with you on Thursdays.

[C]

On Thursdays after 9pm it is. And then on Saturday morning for brunch. Promo code Ellis for Sunday's the last.

[B]

Hi, Connor.

[C]

But you can go.

[A]

Wait, Danny, we have been there together.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

I don't know if it's the one on Clark.

[F]

Yeah, no, no, no.

[B]

There's.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

And there's one in Old Town.

[B]

Well, yeah, but if Connor goes. Well, Connor, sit down.

[F]

I don't think it's gay bar, but I do. I think it is gay people.

[B]

What is this? This. This thing? He. Connor Griffin asked out on a gay date by a man.

[A]

I don't know if it was a date.

[B]

It was. It was a.

[A]

A hangout for sure.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Where'd it happen?

[A]

See you all. I was getting my. My hair trimmed up a little bit yesterday and it was. Yeah. There was a guy who asked me A, If I was. If I had a partner. He said, partner? Yes.

[B]

Okay, well, I think we're.

[A]

And then B.

[B]

He said.

[A]

So he started off with that we're certainly. No, I didn't start off with that. Nice guy. And I'll go back. I think it did a solid job.

[B]

I was your barber.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I was getting my haircut. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, that makes it more interesting because then you can't go anywhere.

[A]

Well, no, but then he said, you know. You know, you're like my last client on that. Like, you want to grab a drink or something like that. And I said, no, I got to work. But it wasn't weird. It was fine. Did you have. Don't look at me. What time? When was this? This was last night at. My appointment was at 7. And you said you had to work. Yeah, I had to edit a vlog. Okay. So I was. I was doing that. But, yeah. No, it wasn't crazy. It wasn't anything. I shouldn't have said it in the first place. I was off the Henny and I just. I just kind of let it. I let it slip. How'd you know he was gay? I never necessarily asked. I never.

[B]

You did say, do you have a partner?

[A]

He did say that.

[C]

Because he cut his hair with hello Kitty.

[B]

No.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

It might have been In a part of town, right? It would be.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I feel like that's an unexpectable way to put you there.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Like that's.

[A]

I was there.

[D]

Battering. Yeah.

[B]

No, and that's what I was talking.

[A]

To Mad Dog and. And Mackenzie, and they're like, oh, that's. That's a compliment. I said, I guess. I suppose it was not weird. It was fine.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Was.

[C]

Do you have a partner?

[F]

Immediately followed up by, do you want to.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

There was a gap between.

[B]

You are. You are. You are not gay. You're heterosexual.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

You spend all. You spend all of your spare time in gay parts of town. No, I do not.

[A]

A lot of your stories come from you being a gay part.

[B]

100%. No stories.

[A]

Not my stories. The stories that you guys inflate to, you know, the ones you focus in on. I have other stories.

[B]

Where did this happen?

[C]

It happened.

[A]

I.

[F]

Boys Town.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was in Boys Town. Yes.

[B]

Uhhuh.

[A]

But it was fine. It was.

[C]

What's. Is that really what it's called?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Well, not anymore, right?

[G]

Yeah, not anymore.

[C]

I just like a location in Mad Max.

[H]

Yeah, it does.

[C]

Where you'd go to find fucking labor.

[F]

Always with a Z. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's it. But it was a great haircut, and I trust that guy to do my hair. He was fantastic.

[B]

You're gonna go back?

[A]

Yeah, I already scheduled the next appointment. I don't think you can go back.

[B]

I haven't.

[A]

He's gonna botch you. No, no, I'm telling you, this was the most in depth hair. And I mean, he barely took anything off, but he was like, we're going to set a good foundation. He was testing, like, my. My PH levels and my hair. It was great.

[B]

I got asked to dance by a gay man one time. I took it as one of the biggest compliments. Yeah.

[A]

No, there's nothing wrong. It would have to be.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I get asked out by gay men so frequently that I would never tell anyone.

[B]

Really?

[C]

The fact that Connor has, to me, feels very homophobic.

[B]

No, I just immediately reported it.

[A]

No, because I mentioned how. How often is it for you, Francis?

[C]

All the time.

[A]

Yeah. At clubs, at comedy clubs.

[C]

Just dms. Or I've gotten handed napkins at coffee shops with phone numbers on them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Far more. Far more than ever from women.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. Men are. Men are enterprising. They are. We are hunter gatherers. We have to. Even in gay community, you got to go out. You got to go out. You got to hunt what you kill.

[A]

What do you think it is about you.

[C]

I don't think it is anything about me. I think it's just that good style.

[D]

Takes care of himself. Handsome.

[C]

I don't know if they're even assuming that I'm gay. They're just like, in the same way that I would see a nice woman that I might be interested in and I might go up to her. I have no idea if she's fucking in a relationship or heterosexual or anything. You just take your shot. Who cares? There's no stakes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You got to put it out there.

[C]

Yeah. And when they do that, I'm not like, I'm straight. Correct them. Yeah, right. I'm just like, oh, no, sorry, I'm busy, or I'm in a relationship or some shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

How about the way Che worded that?

[A]

I. I didn't hear the. The intro to this.

[B]

Connor Griffin. It's on the prep sheet. Oh, it's on the prep sheet. Connor Griffin asked out on a gay date by a man, question mark.

[F]

Yeah. Little redundant.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, or just asked out on gay date.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[C]

No, it was.

[A]

I think it was just like, hey, let's grab a beer.

[C]

I was like, I don't know.

[A]

I can't, but thanks. It wasn't anything weird, but. Yeah, it was kind of complimentary. But anyway, that's all it was. Sorry, Chad, that was a bit of a letdown.

[C]

No, that was fun. Provided exactly what we needed. All right, cool, cool, cool.

[B]

And this. This gay man probably didn't know much about you. Certainly didn't know that right now. You're not busting.

[A]

No, he did not.

[B]

Because you're saving up for the dating show, which is. Which is right now. Pause. Yeah, well, we'll do it, but hold right now.

[A]

I don't know if we ever will, but.

[B]

Oh, we're gonna find you, love.

[F]

Yeah, someone's bound to apply.

[B]

I don't even care if it's a dating show me Nick. And we're gonna go find you a woman.

[A]

Thanks, man.

[B]

I appreciate. Yeah.

[D]

They're going crazy for him. By the way, I heard chit chat from some of the ladies here who were out and about in town.

[B]

Sure.

[D]

And he swung by, and after he left, all their girlfriends were like, oh, my God.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

He's got something going on.

[B]

Really.

[D]

He's got a heat. A certain je nes quoi.

[C]

Really hot voice. Thank you. Really hot.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Do you want to grab a beer after this?

[C]

No, I'm seeing a guy.

[A]

I barbed have a gay date with a man.

[F]

Here's the big twist.

[A]

You'll never guess who my gay dates in a million years.

[C]

Yeah. We're going to Manstown.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Solid Thursday night was our first office in Boys Town.

[E]

Close to it.

[B]

Yeah. It was.

[G]

Not quite, but okay. It's where the. The pride parade route goes down it. Yeah.

[A]

You see the rainbow crosswalks and whatnot?

[B]

East. East of Wrigley over there?

[G]

Yes.

[B]

Over in that area.

[G]

Yeah. Yeah. Tossed it.

[F]

I mean, if these girls are flocking you. Connor, it doesn't seem like you really do have that many problems in the dating world.

[A]

I also don't think you have the impulse for retention. I think if something happens this weekend, you're going to do it.

[B]

Yeah. You're going to bounce right on that shit.

[A]

I catch feelings, Nick.

[B]

That's. That's. He's not doing it for semen retention. He's doing it because if he hooks up with a girl, he's going to fall in love with her and dating shows out the window.

[A]

Absolutely. Well, don't stop that for a dating show that we may or may not. I know.

[C]

Know.

[B]

Although if you do catch feelings, just add her to the pool of the dating show.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's all you have to do. Yeah.

[A]

I got to figure it out. Exactly.

[B]

The last dating show we had, the last male dating show we had, was a. Was a gay man who hated women.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Didn't want to be there. And the second was over. Told them not to contact him ever again. Correct.

[A]

Right. That's right.

[B]

So the bar is low and he.

[A]

Got banned by a bar. Speaking of bars.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He could not go to a bar in town because she got him banned from it.

[G]

Really?

[A]

Will's North.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wills Northwood.

[C]

There.

[A]

There was a sign. I don't know if it's still there, but there was a sign for a while that just had Jake Malasek's profile picture on a piece of paper and it just had a line through it and said, this guy is not allowed in here.

[G]

It's a great bar.

[F]

Should have used the asexual graphic.

[A]

Asexual graphic is a gold.

[B]

Any of y' all ever been banned from a bar or restaurant or anything? I've never been banned from anything.

[F]

Ice cream machine.

[D]

Hometown 50s diner. I got a little. Got the boot.

[A]

A hometown 50.

[D]

I worked there for many years and then me and a few of the waitresses went out one night and got a little tipsy and cave. It was 24 hour. We wreaked a little havoc and we were asked to not come back For.

[A]

A hot minute to your own place of employment.

[D]

Yeah, I was fired. I was. Yeah. I was off to college anyway. I didn't need it anymore. It was fine. Have you ever.

[A]

I've never been fired.

[B]

I've been fired.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I was the fall guy for a stolen Pringles ring in a grocery store when I was 17. Actually, wasn't me. It was another kid who did it, and his mom worked there. And they ended up pinning it on a couple, me and Kendrick.

[A]

It's a Pringles ring.

[B]

We would walk in the back. We were bag boys and we were stock boys, and we would walk in the back and just open a can of Pringles and eat them. That's what they got us for, opening. But I didn't even do it. It was.

[A]

You never ate a. You never ate a stolen Pringle?

[B]

I didn't eat those ones that were caught. It was somebody else. Anyway, I got fired from that. And that was. Oh, you know what? This fat bitch. I had a job, okay? I was at the airport in 2000. Okay? I ended up working at the Delta counter in the airline. But before that, I was. I was working at National Car Rental on the desk. And then I was washing cars for Avis in the afternoon from 3 to 7 when a rental car would come in. I'd go wash it and I'd take it back. And I got this car one motherfucking time. And it smelled of weed. It just smelled of weed. And then I ended up having to take it into town and do something to get it detailed or something. When I brought it back, the people that owned the motherfucking detailing place had called my boss and said, yeah, we think this guy was smoking weed on the way over here. I had never smoked weed a time in my life. And she fired me for smoking weed in the car, even though it was the rental. Was a goddamn rental car, Nick and I.

[A]

That's not fair. Did you fight?

[B]

No, I just. I just didn't want the job anyway. And I just would rather go bass fishing. And I only had the job to impress my girlfriend. Anyway, it didn't matter. But I got fired for smoking weed in the car where I didn't even actually do it. Now that I say it, I'm two for two. And I just said I didn't do anything that I got fired for. I did have the Pringles. I did have the Pringles, but I did not smoke the weed.

[C]

That's big of you.

[B]

I was part of the Pringle Pringle gang.

[C]

Hey, Brandon, have you still never smoked weed?

[B]

Oh, I've smoked weed.

[C]

Oh, awesome.

[B]

I smoke weed on camera here. Yeah.

[C]

That's awesome.

[B]

Yeah, I've smoked weed before. Probably 20 times in my life. Not many, but that's a lot. The LA Super Bowl. I.

[A]

You were daily.

[B]

I was daily.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

There was one time at the LA super bowl that I was laying out by the pool and there was a group going to the Lakers game and we smoked some weed and they left and came back. And when they came back, I think I asked them if they were about to leave for the Lakers game or what it was because I just didn't. Yeah, I was just.

[C]

Time.

[B]

I was just out of it. Yeah. Cool. That was a. That was a fun time. That was a fun time.

[C]

That's awesome.

[F]

You're faded at Camp Arsenal, too.

[B]

No, that we did camp. I don't believe I did. That's. That's a lie.

[F]

Oh, maybe just drunk.

[B]

My bad.

[C]

Yeah, really drunk.

[B]

No, I didn't. I might have smoked a little too.

[F]

I don't know.

[A]

Francis, you would dominate camp barstool.

[B]

Yeah. What?

[C]

Why?

[A]

You're athletic and fast and strong.

[C]

I learned that my. I don't think I'm as spry as I used to be.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. I've been humbled lately.

[B]

By whom? What are you?

[C]

Tests. Athletic tests. Things.

[A]

You're 36.

[C]

36. Almost 37.

[B]

Well, we have our bi. Yearly combine coming up, I believe, Right?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

We do three com. Two or three combines a year. We've got one coming up. Test, everybody. The big question this year. Will Tate be able to lift 135 one time?

[C]

Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, he's. He's athletic.

[B]

He is athletic.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I guess he can do things.

[A]

But also there is. There's a different type of athleticism. Like he played basketball and.

[B]

But 135.

[A]

135.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

135, Connor.

[A]

It's a different set of muscles for each sport and everything. So maybe. I don't know, but I hope he can do it.

[B]

You know, you say that your athletic conquest, Francis, are not as or you don't do as well, but you literally won a share of a million dollars playing golf for this company.

[C]

I don't necessarily put golf in that. I mean, I know. And that's not to say that golf's not an athletic sport at all. I'm not that guy. But I'm just talking about, like, the sports that in your 20s, you're good at. Basketball and Fucking running around shit. The shape that I'm in now is more aesthetic than functional.

[B]

But isn't that the best kind of shape to be in?

[C]

That's all I can do now.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm not, you know, I'm not in fighting shape.

[B]

Looking in shape is. Is as important as being in shape.

[C]

Smoke and mirrors is what I'm at now. I'm all smoking mirrors.

[B]

Could.

[A]

Could you scrap? Could you fight?

[C]

It would just depend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm one, one and one lifetime in my fight at a tie. Yeah.

[A]

How. How'd the tie work?

[C]

We just threw each other around a hotel lobby. Me and this guy in a hotel lobby. Nobody got hurt in France.

[A]

Did you know the man?

[C]

Yeah, very vaguely. I knew him.

[A]

Was he a Frenchman?

[C]

No, American guy.

[G]

Was it a small lobby?

[C]

Yeah. And it was like very after hours. And so luckily no staff was present. Somehow it all just ended. But we didn't. Neither of us got hurt. Nobody like landed a punch.

[A]

Okay. Jostling around?

[C]

No, we were like throwing.

[F]

Swinging.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

And just missing.

[C]

I got. Hell, I got put in a chokehold by his buddy. That is stupid as fuck. I don't know. A year or two later, I saw him at a wedding and we laughed about it.

[A]

Not bad.

[G]

Going back to that Mal sec photo. I do weirdly enjoy walking into places where you. They have pictures of the people who stole.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[D]

There's a chocolate shop I go to on division. Mr. Kites. It's the best. They make these chocolate dip s' mores that are incredible. And he's got a great ever evolving list. He's got photos from like 20 years ago still that people. He holds a grudge. And he's got the photos up.

[G]

Walking out with two bottles of Jack Daniels.

[B]

Tell me more about this chocolate dip s'. More.

[D]

Oh my God. It's one of the best. I take it whenever I go to like holidays and other people's homes. It's like my go to hostess gift now that I'll bring to people.

[B]

Make a s'.

[C]

More.

[D]

He makes a s' more and he dips. It's open like a clam, almost like a. And it's got. He melts the marshmallow in such a way that it's. It's not just some dry old marshmallow. It's the most fantastic. It's like still moist, but it's not like super sticky.

[B]

Fluff. Huh?

[D]

It's like almost like Fluffernutter, but a little hard. I can't explain it.

[A]

This is Mr. Kite Yes.

[D]

And then he dips. You can only. You have to ring a doorbell and be buzzed in, like, one at a time. He's real paranoid, probably because he has that list on the wall of whatever.

[C]

The uncut gems of chocolate.

[D]

Oh, my God. Every time, my kid's favorite toy store is next to it. So I'm always like, we got to go into Mr. Kites. But they do these chocolate dip s' mores that are just.

[C]

I'm gonna go here right after.

[B]

It looks amazing.

[A]

You're a sweet tooth.

[C]

Oh, sure am. Big time, big time.

[A]

No greater pleasure.

[D]

They have ice cream in there too. They got. They got a little bit.

[G]

And they only let you in one by one.

[D]

It's real. It's like, real slow. Sometimes you stand there forever and you're like, hello. And he's like, I'm working on something. It's like you're on his terms. Okay, okay.

[G]

Kind of love guys, but I know.

[D]

I've kind of grown to love it.

[G]

Patronizing the restaurant.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What's your guys go to order or. Sorry, hit the ad.

[C]

But I would like to know people's go to order at a fudge shop or candy store.

[B]

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[C]

What's your guys favorite thing to get at a fudge shop or candy store? Like one that makes, like, its own chocolate?

[B]

I don't know that I go to candy shops as much as you might think. There's one in my town. I go once a year to get my kids Christmas candies, but I don't go often, and every time I go, I'm like, why don't I come here more often? I'm a sucker for chocolate cover at anything.

[G]

Almonds.

[B]

Almonds. I'll get, like, pretzel sticks. I'll get, like, chocolate cover at anything. I might just get a round of them for the boys.

[D]

I'm getting you those s'. Mores. That's weekend.

[B]

I would love that.

[D]

You're gonna like it.

[C]

I like those turtles.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

With all the shit in them. Yeah, those are nice. It's just a big old fucking pile of shit. Yeah, I like that. And then anything with peanut butter. Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Maybe some bark. You guys ever get bark?

[B]

Bark is good.

[C]

Bark is good. What about pure fudge? I almost think that's too rich.

[B]

Sometimes.

[C]

I get a little diarrhea.

[B]

I agree. It. The idea of fudge, to me is better than the reality of fudge because often it's too thick or too rich and it's. You can only eat a little bit of time. And I'm not interested in something I can only eat a little bit of a time. I need something I can just gorge.

[G]

On for right away.

[B]

Just. Just destroy it.

[C]

I want my fudge stepped on. I want it cut.

[D]

You know what I do? After every Valentine's Day day or two later you go, you buy all the leftover. I love a box, an assorted box. And I love just sitting in front of the tv, just taking one bite out of every single one and just being great. Gross. And the boxes are like a dollar after Valentine's Day. Get them on the cheap.

[G]

I like a good caramel apple, too.

[B]

Oh, really? Whoa.

[C]

Big time. That's out there.

[G]

Have you ever tried, like, a gourmet one?

[B]

I don't think I have.

[D]

I feel like they. They're a little tough to eat, Ed.

[C]

I just remember controversial. And the ones I ever had around Halloween were always so soggy in the middle. The apples were always so soggy.

[G]

I know. That's why you need the gourmet ones. Yeah, they're cut above.

[B]

You say big time.

[C]

You know, my favorite place to see a fudge shop is. Is the airport. I feel like not enough airports have them.

[B]

San Francisco was a good chocolate city.

[A]

Ghirardelli.

[B]

Yeah. My. My. My. My wife got a bunch of it, and we've been eating on that for.

[C]

Oh, Reykiyuti is out there.

[B]

Yeah, it is. I didn't see it.

[C]

Do you know that one?

[B]

No.

[C]

It's reki ut. You ever heard of it?

[B]

Uh.

[C]

Oh, that was funny then.

[B]

Yeah, what you said. Yeah.

[C]

Reykjuti is like Ghirardelli. It's really high end chocolate out in San Fr. Unbelievable.

[B]

Wish I'd known about that. I would have checked it out.

[C]

They're salted caramel truffles are to die for.

[D]

There's another place here on Damon, I think it's called like hotel chocolates or something. There's a few of them, but they have an endless running chocolate fountain that if you buy a pastry, you just automatically get a cup of melted chocolate for the dippings.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[D]

And it's so good. And then they have this row of like 20 million different flavors that you wouldn't think would be good, but that are good. And what you do is you look for the ones that are about to be expire. Yeah, I'm all about the discount chocolate. So you get them real cheap and then you sit in your car right outside the chocolate shop and you just eat them all.

[A]

While weeping.

[D]

While weeping. Yeah.

[B]

Love chocolate.

[D]

Play some sad music like my women.

[B]

Did you change your cologne? You have a new cologne. Smell good today.

[A]

I wear the same cologne every day.

[B]

When you walked in, it wafted.

[A]

I thought you have like a stuffy nose today.

[B]

I do have a stuffy nose. It got through.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

I thought you smelled really good.

[D]

I went to a fancy perfumery in San Francisco. Spent a lot of coin. It was one of those situations where you don't know how much it is until they're checking you out and you're too ashamed to stop it. Yeah, but I'm wearing something now called French Cowboy.

[A]

French Cowboy.

[D]

French Cowboy. Supposed to smell like a sexy cactus. And I do feel I hate to do it.

[C]

I have to go to the bathroom so bad.

[A]

Okay, go ahead, Go ahead.

[D]

It's all this chocolate.

[A]

All this fudge Friday, man.

[D]

How's the boys going?

[G]

There it is.

[A]

Francis. Tiny screwdriver fell out of your pocket.

[D]

Okay, okay.

[A]

A tiny little.

[C]

I like to fiddle.

[F]

Okay?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he's a fiddler.

[D]

What did the one comedian say he bought every time he landed somewhere in case he needed to defend himself?

[A]

Oh, we had Aiden McCluskey. No, no, it was a Nicoletti. He landed as a screwdriver.

[D]

Yes. Maybe he's doing the Coletti. Right? I don't know. Comedians all do that.

[A]

Like a stereo with it. It's probably something cheap to buy. You just walk around with a screen screwdriver, right?

[D]

Huh?

[F]

Why not a pocket knife?

[G]

Yeah, true.

[A]

Our friend of the program, Aiden McCluskey, hilarious guy. He got the worst haircut I've ever seen. And he looks just like a peasant right now. And it's killing me. He's posted because he has to post himself a lot.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And so his new thing is no royalties allowed at his show. It's just shows for peasants. But he look, it's. It is. It's one of the worst cuts I've ever seen.

[D]

Is there a picture of it?

[B]

Cuz he.

[D]

Yeah, he's the one who's done the adorable boys.

[A]

Yeah, he's great.

[D]

He is. I watch all his clips. I feel like he's like next up or something.

[A]

He definitely is. He travels. I think he opens up for Nick Mullen.

[D]

He's like, okay. He's.

[A]

Yeah, he's fantastic.

[D]

Every single clip I watch has me like, he's so good.

[A]

Yeah. You can easily deem him next up.

[D]

Yeah, I'm deeming him next up.

[A]

I think he tweeted it.

[D]

He behind the scenes in the green room too. Just is his. His life is insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Like he lived in his car in the wilderness of Wisconsin for a while. Is like. Got some good stories. Interesting.

[A]

Got all kinds of diseases.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

My kind of guy.

[D]

Yeah. Fun, fun dude.

[G]

Diseases.

[D]

Oh my God, that's so.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[D]

That was worse than I thought. Yeah. That's a bad haircut.

[A]

Getting a bad haircut is tough. I like. You want to cry as soon as you get out.

[F]

I think one of my first biggest videos was of a bad haircut. Here.

[A]

You had a bad haircut.

[B]

Terrible.

[F]

They like. It was like a. Like a fifth of a buzz cut. They all on the side. I don't know if we could find it.

[G]

Yeah. You know the best thing about Danny? He's got that permanent colic.

[A]

Do ya? It's kind of in the front.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. It kind of pops up there.

[F]

Come tamed it though.

[G]

How many days a year would you say you're hatless?

[A]

I wear a hat a lot and I. I did before this job. Yeah, I've always been a hat guy.

[D]

So much so that I notice when you don't.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm like, oh, whoa.

[A]

Yeah, it's odd.

[D]

You got great head of hair.

[F]

Big deal about this.

[B]

Real quick.

[F]

I just want to get ahead of the story here. Control the story before it controls me. So I go to my barber and I'm like, yeah, it's gonna be the usual two on the sides, little trim on top, and then this guy just gets a little scissor happy and just.

[B]

Basically.

[E]

That'S chase haircut Danny.

[B]

That's so bad.

[F]

I look like.

[D]

That's crazy.

[B]

And everyone's like, damn, the check.

[F]

It's gonna go back. Don't worry about it.

[C]

Yeah, but it's not even symmetrical.

[F]

I go to. It's not gonna be this guy.

[A]

Oh, that's bad.

[F]

Some people are like, oh, like, don't.

[B]

Cut too much to the front.

[F]

Don't cut too much the sides. I'm gonna be like, yeah.

[D]

Did you say something to him after? No.

[A]

No, you can't.

[F]

Perfect. Just what I wanted it.

[B]

No.

[D]

I've kept my mouth shut as my skin's being burned by a curling iron.

[A]

Really?

[D]

On multiple occasions.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Don't say anything.

[F]

But, girls, it's different because, like, there's a good chance, like, guys, you can't add the hair, but you guys have, like, weirder modifications.

[A]

Unless it's bangs.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

So even. Even then, even if it's, like, salvageable, you don't. You don't ask. Interesting. That's probably just a you problem.

[C]

Not.

[F]

Not a girl problem.

[D]

100%.

[B]

I'm back. I went to pee.

[A]

Is that bathroom good now?

[B]

Yeah. So take the stream back up live, please.

[A]

Yeah, we took it down.

[D]

Brandon, back when you were getting the bowl cut that you were hired with that, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. What did you ask for?

[B]

What.

[D]

Yeah, what were you asking for when you.

[A]

What, you show them a picture of?

[B]

I don't know. I. I would just show up. I would say, make it. Make it shorter all the way around.

[F]

You bring your own bowl?

[B]

No, I was just. I think I was just like. I had a number for the sides. Shave it to a three on the sides, and then whatever on the top. Just. Just make it shorter. And it would always. It would always just kind of take care of itself. I don't know. I never knew I had a bad haircut until I. Until that day. And everybody's making fun of my bad haircut. And now that I look back at it, yeah, I had a bad haircut, but I never. I never thought about. It was never. It was never a thing. It was never. Nobody said, hey, Brandon, you have bad hair.

[G]

Not once have you ever broken it down with your wife. Like, do you think she'd go back and look at that now and be like, yeah, you did have a better haircut.

[B]

My wife is so ride or die for me. She would just be like, whatever. But it was just never a thing. I never one time in my adult life got made fun of for my hair until that barstool video that day.

[F]

Well, was it.

[B]

And I don't know that I can explain that.

[F]

A popular Hairdo where you were from?

[B]

Yeah, it's just kind of a high and tight. Keep it. No, it's not. Keep it.

[F]

Yeah, it was.

[B]

It wasn't good. All right.

[F]

Like Nick Swartz and Benchwarm.

[A]

I had Fleming hit me with a wolf once when I was walking into the office. Yeah, that hurt.

[B]

Well, I mean, Che hit me with the. The. Oof. Heard around the world when he saw my hair one time.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Oof. When you started, you had a buzz cut.

[B]

No, it was close to it. Yeah.

[F]

Yeah. I was talking about, like, what was it? The high school picture.

[A]

If you watch.

[B]

Oh, that. That was just. Yeah, that was a different. I thought you're talking about the one right when I got barstool.

[A]

If you watch some old. More cowbell, it's pretty. You have like a Tilted Bang.

[B]

I gotta be honest, I don't know if anybody does watch old Moore cowbell.

[A]

I did.

[B]

I know you and Kyle. Did Kyle seen the entire DVD collection. But I. Yeah, it would from time to time, it would get a little cattywampus. Yeah. It would have an angle to it, which was always weird. And, you know, depending on how I did it that day, it would jump up more. But I don't know. I never thought about it. Never once considered, hey, improve your hair, improve your life.

[A]

Ed, you're a hat guy every day as well.

[G]

For the most part, yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

What has changed since you've gotten the transplant?

[G]

I have like, this light sensitivity thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Or like, wearing a bill, like, helps with these lights, you know? I know that sounds weird, but I swear.

[B]

No, I get it.

[G]

That's a lot of it. Like. Yeah, you get migraines, so you get it. Like, I like. I get like this brain fog. And so, honestly, most of the time I had. Is because of that.

[F]

You had a phase where you were wearing those red glasses.

[B]

I know that.

[G]

It's gotten better the last couple of years.

[B]

You know, we get used to it in here. We get used to our studios, get used to this studio. But, like, when we do a remote or a DraftKings thing with. It's in a different spot and the lights are in a different spot. I'll always get a headache or always be super sensitive. I'll get to the point where I can't see or can't open my eyes.

[A]

You have the hardest job on Earth.

[B]

No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying I get. I get where the bill would come in handy.

[A]

Francis, do you own a hat?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, I just don't. I don't wear them. I mean, I always wear them playing golf.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. Or sun outside. Whatever.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I just can't wear hats because it's my head. So misshapen. My head's not round. It's got some. It's like a NASCAR track that isn't quite oval. It's got a road course head.

[D]

Pear shaped.

[B]

Yeah. So it's a weird head.

[G]

Che, are you considering keeping this kind of haircut or are you going to go back to.

[C]

I am considering it.

[A]

The Buzz looks great on you.

[C]

Thank you. I'm considering the buzz. Blonde? Not sure. Definitely want the spots to go away, but, yes, highly in consideration. We'll see how it grows up.

[B]

It still looks good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Thanks. I was thinking about, like, buzzing up the sides to go, like, blonde on top, black on the sides for a little bit, but we'll see. I would really like the spots to go away soon.

[F]

Are you just pulling up to the grocery store like that? Are you wearing a hat?

[C]

So this past weekend, I was, like, fully hatted and then like, kids drop offs and stuff. Like, the first day, I think I was hatted, and then it just, like, I forgot a hat, and then it was just no hat. So I, like, was coaching basketball last night with, like, little kids and had this. That's fun, though.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. It's a Rodman. I leaned into it. I said, I'm trying to be like Dennis Rodman so we rebound better.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

That's good. Oh, man.

[B]

All right, well, what do you got on the prep sheet here, Che? I saw one. Is President's Day coming up. Right.

[C]

What is the amount of time that you have to hit on this show?

[B]

Two hours.

[C]

Oh, you have to.

[B]

Well, we don't, but we don't have to hit anything.

[E]

Technically. We're an hour show.

[A]

Really? We go in an hour over every day.

[B]

Yep. We kind of settled into two hours as the. The kind of might end a little short today, you know, with Kyle out for voice, Big Cat out, Titus out. You know, we're all.

[G]

Did he start the show in here?

[B]

Who? Kyle?

[C]

Kyle?

[B]

No. No.

[G]

Yeah, I was up there and, like, he's.

[A]

I think he. I think he came here with the intent, and then we tried to do.

[G]

Some guys put him on ice.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I haven't looked at the numbers, but I got to believe that they're way down the show. Right. For today, like, when Big Cat's not here.

[B]

I think we did pretty good without. Without.

[C]

I mean, I'm not saying the show's bad. There's a saying that, you know, he's. He's everything.

[F]

Because we got to find a way to get him on the thumbnail.

[A]

Yeah, let's figure it out. I think you bringing him up is enough.

[F]

There we go.

[B]

Yeah. So he's on the thumbnail now. And Kyle. Kyle as well. We've just talked about him and we do bring out some tricks like Danny's got the big pencil right now.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

That's huge.

[F]

Che reference. Dennis Rodman.

[G]

Yep.

[A]

You have an ad or no?

[B]

Yeah, I'm gonna do an ad.

[A]

Please fucking God.

[B]

No, no, no, no. Listen. Monday is President's Day. Who's your favorite historical president and why? Whatever.

[A]

Historical president or any president.

[B]

Yeah, well, aren't all. Most presidents are historical.

[C]

I don't want to get into like current politics, so like.

[B]

Sure. Do you think William Howard Taft is pissed? His lasting memories getting stuck in a bathtub. I'll do the ad now.

[A]

Was he a good president otherwise?

[B]

I don't know anything about Taft.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Yeah, Just fat. Just fat.

[B]

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[A]

If there's anything I don't talk about though, I'd. You know.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Yes, Eddie, I got questions, but we could, we can.

[B]

What's your climbing?

[G]

Are you into this guy? Who's this clavicle guy?

[A]

Did you talk clavicular?

[D]

Can somebody explain it to me?

[B]

Like I would rather have just ended the show.

[G]

Okay, that's fair too.

[A]

He's a looks maxer.

[D]

He got beat up in New York.

[B]

Yeah. You're coat, Max.

[A]

You didn't get beat up.

[G]

I don't.

[A]

He was attacked.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

He's a looks max.

[E]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

He got frame. It started the week by getting frame mogged by an ASU frat leader, brutally. Now he's in New York doing this stuff. I don't have much on it.

[A]

That's all I got in my brain.

[D]

He's like a different version of World of T shirts.

[B]

Oh, have y' all seen the guy?

[A]

Have you, have you streamers?

[B]

Have you guys seen the guy that is recording this?

[A]

No, we're about to.

[B]

Yeah. Wait, wait for the camera Flip Tate. Uhhuh. Uhhuh. A lot of good looking people there.

[D]

What? What the hell?

[B]

Okay, buddy.

[F]

You could have just cut that.

[G]

Do we know this guy?

[A]

No.

[B]

Season three, huh?

[F]

Those eyebrows are insane.

[A]

Francis, you laughed hard when he brought up clavicular.

[C]

I thought it was funny that he called him clavicle.

[G]

Yeah, that was not a bit.

[C]

That was really funny.

[G]

I didn't. I didn't know.

[B]

So is he's a tick tock streamer.

[A]

He streams on kick. He's a looks maxer.

[B]

I don't know why we're pretending, tj. What do you know about it?

[G]

Yeah, just a guy.

[E]

The streamer game is kind of now like who can walk around and do the craziest thing for a clip. Like the twitch streamer game or the kick streamer game.

[B]

Oh, like that kid, like that kid at the golf tournament last week that jacked out.

[E]

Yeah, like let's walk around into public places and like around separately. A bunch of like early 20s, late teens dudes are becoming like hyper focused on like aesthetics. So like your proportions and your dimensions and like looking good to the point of like yourself up, like hurting yourself to look that good.

[A]

He's rendered himself sterile. Yeah.

[E]

And like this guy Clav has kind of taken off as like the face of this subsect of like the content game where he's like micro dosing meth to like suppress his appetite and like bone smashing, which is when you like hit your face a bunch of times to like try and define your jawline differently.

[A]

His mom took his hammer and he's.

[E]

Doing it to like kind of extreme way. But he's also kind of just like taken off in the stream game with like the some of the more like controversial kick streamers like Sneako and Nick Fuentes and sure. Aiden Ross and that group. I don't know, I think the game's past me, to be honest.

[A]

I think, whoa.

[E]

I think I might be unk to this type of. Because I look at it, I'm like, what the is going on? But the tweets are funny.

[F]

You were talking about. You think Taft is upset that, like, his lasting impression would be, sorry, T.J. i didn't have much.

[B]

No, it's a funny segue.

[F]

Last that. Would it be mad that that's his lasting impression? Instead of being president or whatever, can you think of, like, a building, a library or school, anything that was named after a president or popular figure that may have accidentally altered their reputation? Like, for instance, Eddie and I have a public high school, William Howard Taft High School. But, like, we used to get threatened with getting sent there, and now forever. I look at Taft, the president, differently.

[B]

Like.

[F]

Like, if you were your parents found a pack of cigarettes on you or a lighter, like, you're going to Taft. It's kind of a hard question.

[C]

Oh, it's a great question. There have to be, like, bridges that have collapsed that were named or.

[F]

Right, yeah.

[C]

Airports that, you know, shitty airport led to terrorism or something like that.

[G]

Well, that's like the. Who. Who's the comedian that has a joke? Is it Eddie Murphy or Chris Rock that, like, a lot of MLK drives are not in the best name?

[C]

Oh, Bill Burr. I think it's Bill Burr.

[G]

I don't know, but yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good question. I think some names have gone. Like, there are some places now that have gotten bigger than the names ever were. Like, LaGuardia, bigger than the mayor. Was a mayor in New York. The airport's way bigger than he ever was.

[A]

Who's o'?

[F]

Hare?

[B]

Good question. No clue.

[F]

Good question.

[B]

No question. No, I have no idea who I.

[A]

Who's the most prominent person that has a airport? Is it jfk?

[B]

Reagan and jfk.

[A]

Oh, wait, what's.

[C]

What do you mean, the most prominent?

[A]

Like, I guess, famous. Who's more famous than their airport?

[B]

JFK is more.

[A]

What's the one in Rome? Is that da Vinci? Who's. Rome's airport's named after somebody.

[B]

Paris is Charles de Gaulle, right?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Okay, so most.

[B]

Me and Francis go there a lot, often together.

[G]

Good question.

[B]

Yeah, great question.

[F]

All right, we'll think on it.

[A]

Yeah, we have till Monday.

[B]

You know what? Spin the goddamn wheel.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Big Cat will be back. Kyle will be back. Hopefully healthy. Titus will be back. Hopefully healthy. Francis will be gone. I will possibly be healthy.

[A]

You're tiptoeing sick right now?

[B]

I am. I've been. I've been on the line.

[A]

I said you were due.

[B]

Yep. Yep. I think I'm going to strategically get sick next Thursday and Friday, though, so that's what I'm aiming for. Going to be a beautiful weather week, too.

[A]

60.

[B]

60 on Monday. 55. This weekend is going to be awesome.

[C]

You hitting the links?

[B]

What?

[C]

You hitting the links?

[B]

No, I don't think it's unfrozen yet. I think we're still. I don't. I don't know that we can still golf or golf yet here. Would love to. Francis, I haven't ruled out texting you tomorrow to say, give me a couple of tickets for tonight.

[C]

Well, you asked me at the start of the show, and now you're. Now I think I walk in that backlog.

[B]

I'm 70. I'm 70.

[C]

Walker over here.

[B]

I'm 70. 30. I want to come.

[A]

How far are you from Batavia?

[B]

About an hour, I think. Batavia is straight west of here.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's. It's. I can go the back roads to it, I think about an hour away. It's right under St. Charles, which is not far from my house.

[C]

Here's what I'll do. I'll set the tickets aside. If you come, they're yours. If not. No problem.

[B]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna text you tonight. Today.

[C]

Perfect. You got it.

[B]

And I'll. I will ask that you remove all offensive material.

[C]

I'm pretty. I'm pretty clean these days. I don't really say anything.

[F]

Got any cone tit jokes?

[C]

Cone tit jokes?

[B]

That.

[A]

That's one of the triggers.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah. Dana. Dana.

[A]

Beers called him cone tits.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Dana has bigger cone tits than I got.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

It's not a competition.

[B]

Brandon, spin that wheel.

[D]

That's how you carry them.

[B]

That's how you carry them.

[D]

Happy Valentine's Day to everybody. Oh, no.

[G]

That's a nightmare.

[D]

That is genuinely.

[G]

Brandon, this is so. Are you in charge?

[D]

Brandon, this is so dumb.

[C]

So what now? What happens now?

[A]

One of us has to go get wet.

[C]

And. And. And it's. Did they shoot? They put the wheel up again with all of our names on it and do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[F]

Elimination style, though.

[C]

It's pretty funny. Oh, my God. That's great.

[A]

Wouldn't know anything about it.

[C]

Do you have to wear all your clothes?

[F]

Sure do.

[C]

Well, can't you even your shoes?

[A]

You take your shoes off.

[D]

You take your shoes off.

[C]

You. But you have to wear your pants.

[B]

Francis, you don't understand how funny it Is.

[C]

Hey listen, I understood what I understand that this can happen. So you. You have to wear your pants. Yes.

[A]

And it's not gonna be you.

[F]

Yeah. You can fight us every time preparing so much that it's not gonna be the wheel. The wheel has a mind of its own.

[C]

All right, well let's just rip the band aid off. Are they firing it up now? Probably.

[B]

He's getting it right after you get.

[D]

Wet and everybody has to sit here. The show keeps going while you're off getting wet. And then the best part is when you walk back in wet and the show.

[A]

Show ends. Just ends.

[B]

And you got really got away from.

[D]

That's the big laughs. This comes from that part.

[C]

Wow. This. How often does it happen?

[A]

More than it should.

[D]

Yeah. More than we go through droughts and then we'll hit it like three times.

[G]

In a month down. Brandon, are you going to shut it down?

[B]

No, I'm going to. I'm going to let it go. We were ending early anyway. This is the wheels way to tell us to stretch the show out a little more. So I'm gonna.

[D]

I'm gonna let it go's already taken his shirt off.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

People would get mad if you did it. If. And they would. Didn't do it.

[B]

Threaten my kids lives.

[G]

Yeah, I thought he might be.

[B]

I considered it but yeah.

[D]

Dang. What shirt am I wearing today?

[B]

Probably the poor one. All right, go. Let's go. What was that noise? Cake.

[D]

Just like I hate being cold and it's always so cold.

[B]

It's never changed.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Danny's never been wet ever.

[D]

Really?

[F]

Never.

[B]

Danny and tj I believe those are.

[A]

Two have never been wet.

[B]

All right, let's go.

[H]

Let's go.

[B]

One time. I think it's a good thing.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

There you go. Eddie. Eddie, you ever been wet?

[G]

No.

[A]

T.J. did you see the Richard Nixon library selling hats that say Nixon maxing?

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. Sold out pretty quick.

[C]

Go, go, go.

[B]

I think you got it, Francis. Yeah.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

There's the dog.

[B]

The boy.

[A]

My dude.

[B]

Just dry ass boys over here. Nothing left on this wheel but some losers.

[A]

It's never been Danny.

[F]

It's gonna be me. I could tell already feels like a Danny day. Yeah, it's gonna be. If you could shuffle, that'd be great.

[A]

Seeing TJ on there is crazy. I can't imagine.

[E]

I gotta go to the airport.

[A]

Where are you going, brother?

[B]

Where do you think? There we go.

[F]

I'm.

[D]

Oh Connor. That would be nice.

[A]

I'm fine with all. Any of these three except for Connor and Z.

[F]

Oh, it's gonna be me. I can already tell.

[A]

Brandon, you're smirking.

[B]

Oh yeah, it's funny when it's not you.

[D]

It does feel good once you're out. It is something I enjoy.

[B]

Valentine's Day wheel though. Didn't know we had red and red. And I didn't know we had these two reds.

[E]

We had all of reds.

[C]

One for Danny. Oh, what? Oh, it's. How many did you do?

[A]

Best of seven.

[F]

I wanted.

[C]

Oh my God, this is so ridiculous.

[B]

Agreed. Oh, it's two nothing.

[A]

Two for Danny. Z Piss.

[F]

Watch Z seen is the script. Happens every time.

[B]

So now someone who hasn't been on screen the whole day just has to come get wet. Saw 3 world where it gets interesting. Francis.

[A]

This is where the perk cuz a sweep.

[B]

A 40 sweep means the person who got swept has to piss their pants on camera instead of going to get wet.

[C]

What in the fuck is this shit?

[A]

Some high brow stuff.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Zar, you got any piss in you?

[F]

He's gonna be fine.

[G]

Oh yeah.

[B]

I'm ready to roll. Oh.

[G]

Piss.

[B]

Oh, it's a piss. It's a piss. It's a piss.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Thank you, wheel. All right.

[A]

Never been wet, Danny.

[B]

Oh my God. This is outrageous. Wow. It's a piss.

[D]

Should we put him in this box?

[A]

Yeah, get him in the box. Wait, where's Trent?

[D]

We can wrap him up in Trent. I think he's over by the golf room.

[F]

Oh my God.

[D]

Some people get shy and they have to get wrapped up in something to be able to do.

[F]

We put down a tarp or something.

[B]

No, I don't think we ever have a thing.

[D]

Titus peed in a box. I think it was.

[C]

Oh God. How was my weekend? Well, unfortunately my.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

So African dwarf friend had to piss him.

[B]

I was gonna say for two hours us white people talked about nothing and we ended the show by having our African.

[A]

Let's put him in a box and have him piss.

[B]

Himself in a box.

[C]

People pay for this. I think.

[A]

I think it's ingredient in expensive colognes.

[D]

Can I say something that I think is going to. I think this is going to be a huge pit my days. Absolutely massive.

[F]

Are you ready to go?

[B]

Wait, I don't want to be ready to go. Change the change.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

I don't want to be in the background of this. There we go. Put frame. All right, just relax.

[D]

This is so dumb.

[B]

Just go ahead and. Yeah. Towel, towel up.

[D]

You have a date right after this.

[B]

No, I said I'm getting stage fright.

[D]

Oh, stage fright. Do you want.

[B]

You want some music? Some PM music?

[A]

All right.

[B]

Just.

[D]

Yeah, let me know if you want the Trent.

[A]

We could zoom.

[B]

Yeah, just.

[G]

I've never seen one of these.

[B]

Let's get down in there. There you go. Tj. That's right there. He's really get to that. Okay. And we'll see when it's. And no pressure. It's whenever.

[C]

We'll see when it starts.

[B]

Whenever you want to. Of course. We are going to find out how.

[A]

Good. And piss horses out. Fill up your pants.

[B]

Squeeze it out. Let me squeeze your tummy.

[C]

You can poop instead. We'll allow it. Oh.

[B]

Oh. We're close. We're close.

[F]

Steve, You want a water? Look at that.

[B]

You mean to tug it?

[A]

Just piss your pants.

[D]

Tug it.

[F]

We can get Connor in here if.

[D]

You want to play. Like waterfall Sam.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Oh, he's gonna put his fingers in it.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Do you want us to piss on you?

[A]

Come on now.

[B]

Okay, that would.

[D]

Okay, his fingers are in the.

[B]

Oh, wow. He's really doing it to himself.

[A]

Wait, it's working.

[B]

Oh, it's coming through. What happening? How you do that?

[C]

Oh.

[A]

How does that work?

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Good job.

[B]

Oh, my God, my days.

[A]

Oh, my days.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

All right, we'll see you guys Monday. That's Pissing himself.

[D]

Good job.

[F]

Great.

[C]

What a place.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's the act. It's the act. It's the actual.

[E]

Shout out that guy for making a Valentine's Day yak card for his.

[B]

His.

[E]

His significant other. All right, have a good, safe weekend, everybody.

[A]

Love you guys.

[E]

Go piss yourself this weekend. Bye.