We Get To The Bottom Of Dante The Don's Beef With Mark Titus | The Yak 4-28-26

Summary

---

The Yak (Barstool Sports)

Episode: We Get To The Bottom Of Dante The Don's Beef With Mark Titus
Date: April 28, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this episode of The Yak, the crew—Big Cat, KBNoSwag, Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, and others—dives into interpersonal “beef” within the Barstool Chicago office, specifically between Dante The Don and Mark Titus. The episode explores office cliques, perceptions of friendliness, and the blurred lines between co-workers and friends at Barstool. The conversation vacillates between hilarious and introspective, with notable detours into office politics, wedding plans, existential life questions, and a classic Yak chaos segment involving a drawn-out, competitive attempt to force a group fart.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dante vs. Titus “Beef”

• [02:50] The group brings up how “everybody thinks [Titus] is a dick," directly relating to Dante's comments.
• [05:45–07:34] Titus breaks down his side, admitting he can be terse at work but doesn’t intend to come off unkind—“I know who I am. This is who I've been my whole life... I'm not the most friendly guy."
  • Titus points out the disconnect: "If you're so offended by me not talking to you... you could stop me and be like, 'Hey, what's up, Titus?'" —Mark Titus ([07:02])
• [11:00] The idea surfaces that everyone at Barstool has a different “friendliness default" calibrated by age, life stage, and role at the company.
• [19:01] Commentary on Dante’s “hot/cold” personality is peppered with jokes about him being “very Italian,” which the crew both teases and tries (half-heartedly) to use as an explanation for his volatility.
• [47:00] Dante joins to give his own apology and the crew effectively squashes the drama:
  • “I’m sorry. I'm a drunk idiot… When I've been hammered for four days, I say stupid shit.”—Dante The Don ([50:00])
  • “So do you actually want me to hug you every day?” —Mark Titus ([52:13])
  • “I would. Yeah. I would like that.” —Dante ([52:16])

Memorable/Major Quotes

• “My defense: I know who I am. This is who I've been my whole life... I'm not the most friendly guy.” —Mark Titus ([06:07])
• “All Dante had to do was, at some point, when he was sitting six inches away from me... just say something to me.” —Mark Titus ([10:42])
• “I just beat you down with friendship till you liked me.” —Big Cat to Titus ([07:43])
• “Are people shaking hands? I thought you were going to say I just snubbed you or I talk behind your back or something, which I do a lot of.” —Titus ([53:10])

---

2. Barstool Office Vibes: Cliques, Friendliness, and Generational Culture

• [12:28–13:43] Discussion about perceived “cliques” in the office and generational divides:
  • “Bri was asking what are the clicks in [the] Chicago office... people who do podcasts together, really.” —Big Cat ([55:05])
  • “There’s just a group of people who go out every weekend together and suck and each other. And we're not part of that.” —Big Cat ([11:29])
• [15:12] Cheah: “Titus, you would be an extraordinarily nice person at a normal office. But since everyone here expects the friend greeting, they automatically take it [more personally].”

---

3. Office Dynamics: Hugs, Handshakes, Boundaries

• [53:00] The group debates whether people actually hug, shake hands, or simply pass each other—most deny the office is a hug-fest, leading to comic confusion.

---

4. Wedding Talk and Life Milestones

• [26:15–37:47] Extended riff on wedding invitations, micro-weddings, and office relationships. KB’s reluctance to invite even close Barstool colleagues to his wedding prompts suggestions about creative group invites and “sorry” invites for those cut.

Memorable Moments

• “My favorite people aren’t getting invited. I want to send them, like, a kind letter… a sorry invitation.” —KB ([27:16])
• “I guess I've spent more time with you guys than all my forks and spoons combined.” —KB ([30:45])

---

5. Existential Dread, Friendships, and Time Passing

• [143:12–149:05] In a rare, sincere turn, Big Cat and KB have a long exchange about fears, aging, and realizing you’re in the “good old days” now.
  • “I struggle with the idea that—like the old, ‘You wish you knew the good old days when you were in the good old days.’ I know it’s the good old days.” —Big Cat ([144:32])
  • “My biggest fear? Probably having a child who resents me.” —KB ([143:24])
  • Discussion of the challenge in maintaining adult friendships and the eventual, inevitable loss of regular social rituals that come with routine.

---

6. Classic Yak Chaos: Fart Eliminator

• [122:00–164:32] The episode’s final act is a characteristically relentless and hilarious group effort to "manufacture" farts for a Yak wheel segment—nobody can do it on command, leading to desperation, eating goldfish, and calls for audience input.
  • “I make it a purpose to not fart... this morning I would have crushed.” —Kate ([124:08])
  • “Tweet me or comment your best ways to manufacture a fart. It's pretty necessary.” —KB ([128:21])
  • “I'm not leaving you. We gotta find someone.” —Big Cat in solidarity with KB during the fart standoff ([161:56])

---

7. Other Notable Segments & Sidebars

• Barstool water rations: Liam Blutman reveals he regularly runs out of water at home and rationed water for months instead of drinking “tap,” prompting incredulity and laughter. ([107:19–113:47])
• Donnie’s Fedora/Magic Phase: Donnie reveals he had a junior high fedora/old man sweater phase (“Andrew the Magician”), leading to nostalgia about middle school quirks and speculation on how close some of them came to being “school shooter kids.” ([75:00–86:11])
• Physical fitness/mid-life crisis: Big Cat contemplates joining Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to recapture a sense of physical challenge. ([136:17])
• Existential office moments: Musing the future of the show and what it means to be part of listeners’ daily lives, questioning if the connection “matters” because the world moves on quickly after people (e.g., David Bowie reference, [159:05]).

---

Timestamps for Notable Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | Notes / Quotes | |------------|------------------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:50–07:34| Dante v. Titus Beef | “All Dante had to do was... just say something to me.” | | 07:43 | Friendship method | “I just beat you down with friendship till you liked me.” | | 11:00–13:43| Cliques & Office Vibes | Office friend-groups, generational divides | | 26:15–37:47| Wedding Invite Talk | The art of the "micro-wedding" and "sorry" invites | | 47:00–54:00| On-air Apology: Dante & Titus | “I'm a drunk idiot... when I've been hammered for four days...” | | 75:00–86:11| Donnie’s Fedora/Magic phase | Briefcases, magic tricks, and adolescent whimsy | | 107:19–113:47| Water Rations in the Blutman home | "I come from a family that has run out of water plenty of times." | | 122:00–164:32| The Great Yak Fart Standoff/Fart Wheel | A full-length bit testing the group’s digestive resolve | | 143:12–149:05| Existential Fears/Gratitude | “I know it's the good old days.” "What's your biggest fear?" | | 156:01–157:40| How long to keep podcasting? | “For as long as it's rewarding.” | | 159:00–160:09| True legacy/futility of online fame | “The internet will move on within 24 hours.” |

---

Overall Tone & Closing Thoughts

True to The Yak's signature style, the episode mixes roast-style office banter, heartfelt reflections, and unfiltered absurdity. The “beef” between Dante and Titus resolves with a mix of forced earnestness and irreverent humor—showcasing the unique chemistry (and coping mechanisms) that make Barstool’s Chicago crew both relatable and unpredictable.

The show closes with team's signature blend of philosophical curiosity, manufactured chaos, and a bit of group therapy—all with plenty of laughs.

---

Notable Quotes

• “I want to make a list of people—I want to predict it before it happens.”
  —Mark Titus ([07:34])

• "Just beat me down. I should probably make it a point to take every single person that works in this office out on a dinner date."
  —Mark Titus ([08:58])

• “I guess I've spent more time with you guys than all my forks and spoons combined.”
  —KB ([30:45])

• “My biggest fear? Probably having a child who resents me.”
  —KB ([143:24])

• “I struggle with the idea that...I wish I could just pause everything.”
  —Big Cat ([144:32])

---

For First-Time Yak Listeners

If you haven’t heard The Yak before, this is a great primer: you’ll hear classic Barstool comic antagonism, glimpses of vulnerability, and an almost vaudevillian commitment to dragging out dumb bits just because they can. Beneath the jokes about farts, cliques, and water shortages, you'll find a group processing the realities of modern work friendships, aging, and what it means to matter—to each other, and to listeners.

---

Summary by Yak Podcast Recap Bot 10x. See you at the next office meeting or micro-wedding.

Transcript

[A]

Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[B]

Stella Blue Coffee is more than just great coffee. It's coffee with a purpose. Introducing We Brew to rescue. A nationwide campaign using proceeds from our new Ready to Drink cans to help fund 1000 pet adoptions this year. Every can you crack open helps a real pet find a real home. Simple as that. Made with 100% Colombian coffee, each 11 ounce can delivers smooth drinkable energy with a boost of protein. Available in Espresso Cafe mocha and Espresso sweet cream. Built for mornings, long days and everything in between. Drink Cell Blue Fuel your day and help save a pet's life. You can follow our progress in real time throughout the campaign by watching the adoption tracker on our site. Grab yours [e-mail] Amazon and select retailers nationwide.

[C]

Trust no one and accuse everyone. And who's the bad guy? The official barstool sports social deduction game. From the brilliant mind of Nick to Rainey. In what's quickly becoming the most popular new party game around, players are secretly assigned unique roles with the good guys trying to expose the bad guys and the bad guys doing everything they can to stay hidden. Each game unfolds under alternating day and night phases with roles like the cool chick, the shy guy, the gambler, El Presidente, the mentalist, the planner, the funny guy and more. Every round is unpredictable, chaotic and ridiculously fun. Who's the bad guy? Is great for parties, pre games, family gatherings or groups who just love deception based games. Game night will never be the same. Shop now on Walmart.com.

[B]

hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in St. Blue Coffee dot com. We've saved 31 dogs so far with our new campaign. We brew to rescue by the Ready to drink cans now. Stella Blue coffee.com and Amazon. Hello everyone. Nick is back.

[A]

I missed you guys.

[B]

So guess what, Nick.

[D]

Huh?

[B]

We got a surprise for you. We saved the wet wheel for you.

[E]

Mm.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Or oh. Or oh.

[D]

We don't do it because the wheel is stupid.

[B]

This is like. This is like the. When people say, you know, the Grateful Dead. It's all one song, right?

[E]

It's all one.

[B]

Yeah, we're picking up literally the exact same.

[D]

Or we don't go make ourselves wet like idiots because the wheel is stupid and was old five years ago. Thoughts?

[F]

I brought. I agree today.

[A]

Oh my God.

[F]

And I just washed my hair this morning.

[E]

Yeah, Brandon, I agree with you.

[A]

Let's revamp.

[E]

But I'm not the guy you want on your side right now.

[D]

Well, you're.

[E]

I'm gonna sit this one out out of respect to you.

[A]

Everybody thinks you're a dick.

[D]

Everybody being Dante, the dumbest person.

[B]

No, but in Titus's defense, he's actually gotten that a lot from the worst people. Yeah, that wasn't in your defense. No, it is defense. Like, a lot of people have said that.

[E]

A lot of people have said that. Yeah.

[B]

So.

[G]

So, yeah.

[A]

So, like, you do your job and you're easy to work with, and you go home and hang with your daughter,

[E]

and I say hello. Some days I'll say hello. Some days I'll shake your hand.

[D]

You don't hug him.

[E]

I don't hug him. Can I think that's the. I didn't know you guys were hugging Dante like that.

[B]

Well, no. Can I just say that this is a. Yeah, play the clip.

[F]

It's like, who are the clicks? So if I were to be like, who's Dante's click? Who's Dante's click?

[B]

Dante is everybody.

[A]

Literally everybody.

[B]

Big one.

[A]

Except Titus.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

He. He, like. He's nice to me, and then, okay, the next day, he'll just be like, I don't know. Those guys. Those guys kind of weird me out.

[D]

What?

[A]

God.

[F]

That's fair. That's fair.

[A]

I always try to be, like, super nice, and I have gotten to know him, and you think, like, after a while, they start to warm up to you, and they just are still, like, day one.

[F]

But who's Titus? Like, what does he do? Is he behind the scenes, mostly sports with Brandon Walker?

[B]

And then, okay, so then if I'm

[F]

like, okay, that Dante walks in, he's

[D]

like, I hate Titus.

[H]

That's weird.

[A]

No, I don't hate him. I like, yes, I am. Everyone else is like, there's a larger conversation. Hug me.

[B]

Give me high five.

[E]

Well, they say, what's up?

[D]

They were that whole.

[A]

He's just like. Sometimes he'll be like, hey and, like, shake my hands. Sometimes he'll just be like.

[G]

And while you keep watching.

[F]

So it's wishy washy.

[D]

That whole segment's about how sometimes I'll

[E]

say, hey and shake his hand. Sometimes I'll just head nod.

[D]

The vibes in the Chicago office are off and everything.

[E]

Who. That. That.

[D]

That whole segment was.

[B]

They said that? Yeah. About what?

[D]

Listen.

[A]

Wait, you watched it? You watched the segment?

[D]

There were multiple clips like that. And I actually went up to LA yesterday and I said, you know, you sat there while Chicken Fry was saying the vibes in New York are better. And we got bad vibes in the Chicago office. Ella looked me dead in the eyes and said, I have no idea what you're talking about.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And I said, the clip that you were on. And she said, what clip? And I showed it to her. She said, I do not remember doing that.

[B]

Well, I also think, and I like Ella and Kadik. I think they're very talented. But there's definitely a difference between people who, like, have stuff going on every single day, all day, and then people who are here just like hanging. Like, I probably am not the nicest person when I'm busy and there's married

[D]

dudes with families and there's the 23 year old partiers. Like, there's. There's different. There's different avenues and atmospheres into this.

[B]

I'm gonna have to look into this clip. Maybe. Tj, can you find me where they said the click, the clicks here or the vibes. But I want to go back to you, Titus. This is a Dante problem.

[E]

Yeah, I would say so. Yeah. I mean, I'm not, I'm not going to change. Well, no, here's, here's like, I don't. This keeps happening, but yes, it keeps happening. And I, you know, like the, the parasocial dorks that are on the Internet then like flood my mentions, like, you're a fucking asshole. You. I knew you're a piece of.

[B]

You're piece of.

[E]

It's going to keep happening. But like, my defense, like, I know who I am. This is who I've been my whole life. I don't like, you know, like, I'm not the most friendly guy. I guess you could. But at the same time, if you notice a pattern with the people that call me an asshole and a dickhead and like, I'm bad vibes and no one wants to work with me and all that, it's all people I don't talk to ever, right? And you could say, like, I'm a D. Like that's why they think I'm a dick. But the point I made on mostly sports, and I'll make it again here if, if, like talk. If Dante is so offended by me not talking to him and it's happened with Dante and it's happened like, Kelly Keeg just out of nowhere had a. Had a shot where she's like, not my cup of tea, which is like, you know, I'm fine with all that. I don't talk to Kelly. I've never talked to. I don't know where that came from if. It's because, like, I don't talk to you when you come to Chicago, Officer. If you work here and I just, like, breeze right past you, and that means a lot to you. You know one thing that you could do.

[B]

Yes, that. That was my point.

[E]

You could stop me.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

And be like, hey, what's up, Titus?

[D]

I'm.

[E]

I'm Dante.

[B]

Correct.

[E]

You know, like, if. But, like, it doesn't matter to me because I'm here to do a job. I. Like you said, I'm. I'm. Most of the time I'm here. I'm pretty busy. I don't. I'm not the hardest worker in the world, but, like, you know, we do a handful of shows. I got, like, a small window to get lunch. So I. I. Most of the time, I'm just kind of thinking about what I have next on my schedule to get to.

[B]

Right.

[E]

And then I'll, like, pass people in the hallway. And no, I don't stop and hug everybody and suck everyone's. I suck a few cocks. I do. But I don't. I don't just stop and.

[A]

And.

[E]

And talk to everybody. I don't know. And so this just keeps happening, and it's going to continue to happen, which is why I kind of want to make a list of people. I. I want to predict it before it happens.

[B]

Yeah, I. Well, I was just say, I. When I first met you 12 years ago, I was like, damn, this guy doesn't like me. And then I just beat you down with friendship till you liked me. Like, there's a clear path to it. I remember being like, this Titus guy. Like, he. Like, I like him, but I don't know if he likes me. And then I was just like, you know what? I'm not giving up. I'm not going to give up.

[G]

That's actually why I like you. Because it's not like some default, like, I don't want. We're not going to get entangled in some bullshit conversation. A workday to go about.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

No entanglement.

[G]

I think it's because you're tall. Because I do this, too. Like, I avoid conversation, and I'll go, you know, days without even talking to somebody that I do like.

[A]

Yeah, but when you do it, it's fucking adorable.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

When you do it, it's. Why?

[G]

Why adorable?

[D]

Because everybody loves everything you do. There's 150 people here.

[A]

Is there?

[D]

Right? There's a hundred. 150 people here. I don't know exactly the number, but There's. There's a lot of people here, and I don't know that I. That there's an alarm that goes off every time Dante walks in the building, that we're supposed to stand up and go hug him.

[B]

Yeah. No, I don't. I did. None of this is bothering to me.

[E]

It's like, yeah, I'm not proud. I just get annoyed because it does. It will happen.

[A]

I don't.

[E]

It will happen.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

People should just try to do my method. Just beat you down or just down.

[E]

Yeah, just beat me down. I should. I should probably make it a point to take every single person that works in this office out on a dinner date.

[B]

Yeah. Just. No, but see, you can't change, because if you change, then you're going to be like, that was sarcastic.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

If you're like, hey, good to see you. Oh, what the.

[D]

Are you doing too nice?

[E]

He's such a. I go home. My wife asked me how the day went, and 99.9% of the time, I'm just like, nothing really happened.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Just like.

[D]

I don't know.

[G]

It's good.

[E]

But all. All the while, had I known people

[B]

and who are the clicks? What are we? That.

[G]

Yeah. That felt more like a critique of the yak as a whole. And it might be because this. There is a power dynamic because we have 10 hours a week to talk that other people don't. That don't. They don't have that.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

And we use the platform to throw jabs.

[A]

Sure.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Of course.

[G]

I do think we like to. We like to have fun, but everyone

[B]

has a platform to come on here,

[G]

and they don't have that opportunity to do it back.

[E]

I also think if. If I'm trying to, like, understand my part in all this, I'm sort of. I don't think I'm new anymore, but I am.

[B]

But that's the problem.

[E]

I am new as compared to you guys, and I've been folded into a yak dynamic where sometimes you'll pull up, like, tweets of people, and then you're like, look at this tweet. Isn't this funny? And then I'll. I'll have the audacity to sometimes be like, yeah, that is funny. Nobody. Who the. Does he think. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I don't. I don't. I'm not like, I. I understand. My sense of humor is in everybody's cup of tea. I understand. I'm not ever, like, all. That's fine. I'm not pressed on it. Like, I don't care. I'm not going to change who I am. But it is. It is slightly annoying. It's. It's annoying because like, all Dante had to do was. I don't know, maybe the. Maybe at some point when he was sitting six inches away from me and he was pointing a finger at Danny Conrad and said, you don't have the balls to say that to my face

[A]

when you're posting about me on Twitter.

[E]

Maybe if he would have turned. Said something to me. If just like, that's. That's really all it takes. I would. That's the only thing that's annoying to me is that the people. Because I imagine there are other handfuls of people that work here. M. Behind the scenes think, yeah, Mikey Betts is another one.

[B]

Yeah. But I like Mikey Bets's method because he keeps a very open list.

[E]

I imagine there are people here that think I'm a. And I. I would. The only thing I would. That would be nice would be like, just come. Just come. Just be like, hey man, I think you're an. We could talk about it for literally 30 seconds. Then I. I think you'd walk away

[D]

and be like, you're not.

[E]

You're not really an.

[I]

If I may, I think there is like coworker nice and friend nice. But it gets so convoluted here. Like, Titus, you would be an extraord. Extraordinarily nice person if we were at a normal office. But since everyone here expects like the friend greeting, they automatically take it.

[B]

There's also. What we've learned from the spring break house is there's just a group of people that go out every weekend together and suck and each other.

[J]

Sure.

[B]

And we're not part of that. I'm not part. I'm not going to be sucking. And so yeah, if you want to go on the sucking and scale. I'm actually an asshole. Like, I've never sucked and sucking.

[G]

Yeah, yeah. Like you suck.

[D]

I've sucked. We've all sucked.

[F]

Yeah, we come on.

[I]

Like, I have jokingly got accused by Ella of this. And it'll be cuz sometimes if I have to like run to film an ad before the act, like I'll just pass her by without saying anything cuz I'm locked in. But she looked at it as like, oh, you're ignoring me, you're being a dick. And it's like, oh, I didn't even think that way.

[B]

But Ella has every. Like, she sits at that.

[I]

Not. Not a very welcome pass.

[B]

But she gets passed by. But like everyone's going by her sitting

[D]

by the front door. Yeah, they sit by the front door.

[B]

So what, what else did they say? The clip with the, the clicks. What are the clicks? I don't know. I would like an org chart of the clips. Like the Mafia, like trying to break down the mafia.

[D]

So Bri was asking what are the clicks in Chicago office? And she said she thinks the vibes in Chicago office are bad and worse than New York. And Ella and Katie were both basically dead on their feet. And I think they agreed in the moment. I don't think they agree in total.

[B]

Kdick.

[A]

They've never been to the New York office either.

[B]

No, basically. By the way, there's Green Greg. What? He literally almost ran me down this morning. I turned the corner and I was, what the fuck are you doing here? He's like, yeah, where's Katic?

[D]

I think he's probably up in the front. I think lunch got here late. I think if you looked at the lunch pile right now, it would be full. Where we keep the food up there. I think everybody's probably hovering around. I'll go get it.

[C]

They're recording a show right now.

[D]

Okay. Oh, they're doing the big boys club. Also.

[I]

If you say hi to Dante once after this, this is all squashed.

[B]

Yeah, that is true.

[D]

You better not ever.

[E]

Yeah, I mean it is sort of a self fulfilling prophecy because it is like now I probably will.

[B]

He also might not know who you are.

[E]

I will be a lot icier to Dante.

[B]

He might think you're someone else.

[E]

But where that is true.

[D]

Where does it.

[E]

That is a good point.

[B]

Confused a lot.

[D]

I would like to know where he comes up with these things. He. He looked me dead in the eye, called me a charity case on the show. He calls him a dick. They probably talk five times.

[E]

Like Dante talk about him on. I don't. That's the other thing is like, I,

[D]

I don't even if he's in the

[E]

office, I don't even talk about Dante. I don't talk to him. I don't.

[B]

Hey, I defend Dante for a second.

[D]

I'm just asking.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I have a defense for him. He's very Italian.

[D]

There's a lot of Italian people.

[B]

No, but he's very Italian.

[I]

He.

[B]

Dante's been done with me like 25 times. And then the next day, remember the popcorn?

[D]

Right, but you, you but, but remember

[B]

the popcorn incident when he said that he was done with me and Hank and then he came in the act the next day and I was like, why are you done with us? He's like, I never said that. And I read his text word for word. He's like, oh, yeah, I guess I did.

[C]

That was an. I believe that was an all hands email.

[B]

Yeah, he was done with me.

[D]

But you guys had at least interacted and had had a history, and you've. You've gone through like, Titus has never. It's just been small talk at best.

[B]

Yeah. I'm just saying, he runs.

[D]

He.

[B]

He goes hot and cold. He's Italian.

[I]

It almost feels like Dante got, like, a weird note from Gaz to stir up and he's, like, doing it the wrong way.

[A]

That could be it.

[C]

I will say, like. And people think that, like, Mark and I have been at odds. I think I've been.

[B]

Oh, this is not gonna.

[C]

Well, no, I. I've been some.

[E]

This is gonna. This is. This is gonna be good.

[D]

I think.

[C]

I think I've been somewhat in the boat of Big Cat where Mark started. I don't know, whatever it was two years ago or three years, whatever it was. And I didn't think he liked me at first. And I think, like, objectively, I think you're. And you've said this. You're more of an introvert, and you have. I think. I think, correct me if I'm wrong, I feel like your disposition can come across as a little bit more surly than others. That being said, everyone that knows with you, including me, like you as a person and stick up for you.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

But can I clarify?

[A]

We're not in kindergarten where you want to like somebody.

[E]

That's what's like, you could, like, you

[A]

could, like, ease into liking somebody, which is.

[E]

This isn't a new thing. Like, this has been my whole life. Like, I know. I know how I present to the world. And I guess I'm just at a point where either I can't or I don't want to change. I don't know. That's like, not.

[C]

My point is like.

[B]

But the onus is on everyone else.

[F]

Right.

[D]

But I think we're missing something here with Che is the fact that he. It came across like he didn't like you at first was because he didn't like you at first. Yeah.

[B]

And still doesn't.

[D]

Right. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

He hates the very side of you.

[E]

I do.

[G]

Yeah. So that was a poor example.

[B]

Yeah, that's. That's. I was trying to stop you before,

[C]

actually, technically family now, because I was on mostly sports.

[E]

I don't.

[D]

I don't know that I love Che,

[E]

but I don't like him. That's the way I describe.

[B]

I say it all the time.

[E]

I love him.

[B]

I say I love Che like a brother, but I really don't dislike her.

[E]

But I love him.

[B]

Yeah. I'd do anything for the guy, except,

[D]

like, hang out, except enjoy his presence.

[A]

If you needed me, I'd be at the hospital there to take care of you, but I would never get a

[E]

beer with you, except allow you to state your opinion on the last thing.

[B]

I. I will. I will literally, like, I will save you, your family. I'll do. I'll go to the ends of the earth for you. But if you just talk to me. I want to throw up.

[C]

Would you rather be loved or liked? I'd rather be loved.

[B]

Yeah. No, that's true. I do love you.

[D]

Wouldn't. Wouldn't everybody more?

[C]

I feel like it.

[D]

Loved or liked?

[A]

I think there are some people that would rather be liked.

[B]

No, there's certain people. Like, what if a Nazi loved you?

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Why does he love you?

[D]

Why? Why?

[B]

Why does that Nazi love you, Brandon?

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Why would a Nazi love you?

[D]

Because he's my dad.

[B]

Legally, he has to.

[I]

It's kind of like when you tweet something and you see, like, a big political person liked it, and you're like, oh, wait, that wasn't the message I was going for. You don't want everyone to like your stuff, but people know by now, like, I love Don. To put. People know that he is an overreactor.

[B]

Yeah.

[I]

And, like. But that's sensitive, and he'll admit it. So if you're gonna take what he says at face value, that's kind of on you.

[E]

Yeah, but I know. I don't.

[I]

I know.

[G]

I know.

[E]

Danny, I'm with you. What is he reacting to is what? I don't know. Well, that's what I'm confused by. If I was.

[F]

Well, you guys are talking.

[E]

I don't know what the. I don't know what. What's. You know?

[I]

I mean, the answer is he is reacting to you, not coming up, dropping everything and saying, hide him every day.

[E]

Mikey Betts had the same. He had the same complaint.

[B]

Mikey Betts.

[E]

It's like, Titus, guess what? All the time.

[B]

And you never guess what Mikey Betts is.

[F]

Well, did it start when you cut the popcorn machine ribbon? You're the popcorn guys. You were the face of the popcorn.

[B]

Anyone connecting any of the dots?

[A]

Yeah, Italian.

[B]

Also Italian. Okay. Memes. Very Italian.

[F]

And I think Memes is a tough customer.

[B]

He is.

[F]

I've never Talked to him, he would say the c. I'm. I'm Dante.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, meme said on Thursday night, when we were taping during the draft, he was like, if the jets trade up to take Carson Beck, I will burn the studio and everyone in it. And we were like, that's a real threat. That wasn't a joke.

[A]

A guy that's so angry with such a short fuse. Being memes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really funny as well.

[B]

I'm the meme.

[A]

I'm the meme guy.

[B]

Yeah, we have. We have a lot.

[D]

But Brandon's right.

[B]

We have 150 people. There's a lot of personalities here. Who the cares. I think we just gotta. I think this whole show's got to be like, one weekend. We just got to go out and suck and.

[D]

Well, and there's another thing.

[E]

I think you're right.

[B]

That's the only way they're going to like sucking.

[D]

There's another thing here. And I'm not trying to say anybody works harder than anybody else, but some people get here at 6:00am, some people get here at 8:00am if you've been here since 6:00am, somebody walks in at 1:30.

[B]

You're not.

[D]

You. You're not doing hellos all day long, right?

[B]

You're.

[D]

You're like. You're towards the end.

[B]

Yeah. It's like. It's like February 15th for you, right? Doing a happy New Year.

[D]

Yeah. Like, it's just. It's a different time of your day. They're walking in, they're greeting everybody. Hey, what's up? What's up? You've already greeted people for six hours.

[B]

True.

[E]

Yeah. I don't know, man.

[A]

The vibes are.

[I]

He's a crazy person. Did you see the clips from the other week? He, like, hunted down Graham, who was like a new producer here. I'm telling you, we're at the Bulls game. He is, like, texting this guy. He's texting everyone from Stefan to Graham to Luki Blutman, asking who put that clip of me DJing for no one in the spring break house trailer. He comes in the week after. He's not joking in the slightest. He's like.

[D]

He.

[I]

He ends the phone conversation by telling Graham that he is dead to him.

[B]

Yeah, see, he's dead serious.

[I]

He goes in, into the office. He's investigating. He's just pressing Graham. He's like, what's the truth? First you're telling me you made the full trailer, now you're telling me you didn't. He was actually mad. And I think even Dante can admit at this point that he is a slightly crazy person.

[B]

Yeah, he's Italian.

[I]

He just don't. Don't got it sometimes.

[D]

I don't know about the Italian thing. There's a lot of Italian people that aren't doing this.

[B]

They run hot. They run hot. They run cold.

[G]

I think they've actually. They're the ones who, like, perfected being cozy and simple and comfortable.

[B]

Aren't you Italian and easy living.

[A]

I'm Albanian brother.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I'm an Italian father.

[D]

What?

[B]

I'm a father of Italians.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah. That's gotta be tough.

[B]

I have a shirt. My wife got my shirt. Proud Italian father. 0% Italian, but I got Italians.

[D]

So your. Your penis has been in an Italian.

[B]

Yeah, my wife's half Italian, so my kids are quarter Italian, so I got little Italians running around.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[G]

Yeah, down for me.

[B]

What Italians?

[G]

Of who? Your wife is.

[E]

Little.

[A]

Just all the half Italians.

[G]

A new descriptor. I'm so close.

[A]

You're a woman and half Italian.

[G]

Only 17, 000 left.

[B]

Italians.

[G]

I'll get her.

[B]

We got a lot of Italians here, though. Me. I mean, memes. The all PMT is Italians.

[D]

I mean, the company has northeast roots.

[B]

Yeah. But it's like Italians everywhere, and they're just all hot.

[D]

So Max, right?

[B]

Max memes Shane. All vowels at the end of their names.

[D]

Is that your. Your?

[B]

Well, yeah.

[D]

Surefire way to know.

[B]

I mean, isn't that well known?

[D]

Well, t. Yeah.

[E]

Spider.

[B]

Spider. Spider.

[A]

Yes. Spider hates Spider.

[B]

Runs hot as.

[F]

Yes, he does.

[E]

Spider.

[B]

Spider gets so hot. He does. Like, Spider gets freaks out on people. That's Italian.

[G]

It's our issue. Our Achilles heel is our diversity. International presence.

[B]

So many Italians.

[C]

Yeah, we got.

[D]

Yeah, we're way too. We're too diverse. Man,

[B]

oh, man. Roback. Roback Activewear. Best fit, best feel. Spring is coming, which means Roback's azalea collection is back. Your favorite Aelia design in several colors. New designs, new products. Secondly, Roback has launched two new products that you all should know about. First, or Tailwind sports shirt might be the most comfortable. Nice shirt out there. It's made for date night. The perfect combo. Looking casual, but nice and still be comfortable. They also released a sweater polo that we're here for. Great stretch fabric, making it very comfortable and breathable. Use the code yak for 20 off your first purchase. That's 20 off all polos, hoodies, sports shirts, and more. Use code yak and head over to R, H, O B A C K dot com. Wow.

[D]

Mikey. Betts has answered on Twitter. Wtf? I never said I hated Mark Titus. I said he's a closet extrovert to go way back. And nicknamed him Dark Mark. Never has been on my list.

[B]

Oh, it might have been Chef Donnie

[E]

that he was mad at.

[B]

He was. He didn't say hello to him.

[A]

That's what it was.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, definitely big.

[A]

Had that video dropped?

[B]

Oh, let's watch it.

[A]

Oh yes, I know what this is.

[B]

Brandon's video for his trip to Mississippi. He went four days for this video. Pretty good.

[A]

Pretty good.

[E]

I suggest putting the whole thing in there.

[B]

That way you eat. There you go. I don't want to eat.

[E]

Nice.

[C]

Dude.

[B]

Support the bot.

[D]

Where's the.

[J]

Where's the.

[D]

Give me the.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

They're saying B walks. I'm surrounded by wieners and I love it. 3, 2, 1, go. There were dogs everywhere. There's just dogs all up in my face.

[B]

You know, taking Barcelo people south. There you go.

[E]

Pretty good.

[B]

That was worth a 40 trip.

[A]

Good video, pretty good content.

[B]

Good video.

[A]

Shout out to your unpaid person in New Orleans doing that for you and running your account.

[B]

You promised a good video and you deliver.

[D]

You're a real. You know that? You're a real piece of him too. Well, he wasn't even here yesterday.

[B]

No, I know, but I said were you involved?

[A]

No.

[B]

This morning on W, I was like, I really needed you. Yesterday when we started comparing Brandon and Mincy and Nick was just like, oh, we should make a mincey edit of his video.

[A]

Yeah. But that's all I had to do with that.

[D]

The idea itself.

[B]

The idea. That was great. Brandon.

[A]

There's a real video coming that was also a lot better than Mince's.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I would like to watch Cody.

[B]

I had to be like, dude, it's my. It's too good. Like blur something.

[E]

Yeah. I was gonna ask like, I wonder if it's. Is it hard to make.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Content.

[B]

He was stronger than it looks.

[I]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a cool reels. It's tough to.

[B]

Yeah, it's a great job. I literally had to be like blur some more.

[G]

That was just like a good trailer.

[A]

Yeah, I mean hype the fuck up.

[B]

There's food.

[D]

We had a good time, man. There's a. There's at least a 15 minute video coming out.

[B]

Yeah. You went to a place where everyone would recognize you.

[D]

Yeah. I got free or free. Free seats, free food. Uh huh.

[B]

It's completely different.

[A]

I'd imagine it's pretty addicting to.

[D]

I think there was some live music I could see where one would spend his whole life doing that. Yeah, it was a good fucking time.

[B]

Yeah, it was a good time.

[D]

Yeah, it was a good time.

[E]

Yeah. Imagine that was like all you did here.

[D]

It would be fucking awesome. Be fucking sweet.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you just talked about it for the next month, being like, I'm nuclear lava.

[D]

Oh. Talk about it for two weeks and

[B]

then, see those wings?

[A]

I ate 48 likes on Twitter and my boss quote tweeting it, demeaning me. But it gets a million views because of that.

[B]

Yeah. A thousand people commenting, telling me to kill myself, man, they loved it. I'm nuclear hot. Oh, man.

[D]

God damn it.

[B]

That's a good video.

[D]

That was a good video. It's good video. Well played. Now I almost don't even want to put out the real video, cuz that one's. That one's good enough.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe just put that one on Mosy Sports.

[E]

That's pretty good.

[B]

That was it. That was the whole weekend right there. What are we gonna do about this web wheel?

[D]

We're not gonna do it.

[A]

Oh, I thought we were.

[D]

We don't have to do it. That's the thing. What's his name? Big Cat. We don't have to do it. We can just stop the wheel, not make a big deal out of anything, and just do a show as funny people from here on out. That's what we could do. We have that option.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

What if we're not funny enough?

[D]

Yeah, we. We have.

[G]

Don't have to do that.

[A]

We don't.

[G]

How many bows at my wedding?

[D]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. We have four of the funniest people to come. You don't have those things you do need to probably live up to if you can.

[B]

Am I officiating your wedding?

[D]

What? Have y' all discussed this at all?

[B]

No, I just. I sprung that on you.

[D]

Really put the pressure on him.

[G]

I was going to out of respect, not invite you. That's dead serious. That's dead serious.

[A]

That's really nice.

[G]

Tiny wedding. I don't want to put that on you, but I'm.

[A]

I.

[D]

You got to invite him for the gift.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

Big T did that.

[G]

Big T know you giving me so much.

[B]

Big T invited me cuz he knows I'm going to give him a gift.

[G]

Gift out of. Yeah. Because I like you and respect you and you've done everything for me.

[B]

You're not going to.

[G]

I appreciate getting out in front so much.

[D]

Are you inviting anybody else now?

[G]

I feel like you would.

[B]

I'd like to do this house.

[H]

This is.

[B]

You don't have to invite me if I'm.

[G]

It's a micro wedding.

[B]

How micro?

[G]

My favorite people aren't getting invited. I want to send them, like, a kind letter.

[B]

I did see that there was someone who went viral for.

[A]

Yeah, I saw the sorry invitation.

[B]

Sorry invitation. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. You didn't make it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

That's interesting.

[B]

I don't know if you can find a tj. I. I would like at least one of those.

[G]

No, I'm gonna invite. Okay.

[B]

No, I want a sorry invitation.

[D]

How micro is your wedding?

[G]

Very intimate.

[B]

You need me to get. Make small. Make myself small. I can make myself.

[G]

I'm incapable of expressing. What if we shrunk ourselves true emotions with an audience?

[B]

What if we. What if you gave. What if you gave the yak one take out? Nick. What if you give the act one invite and we did shifts or we did something. It's like, I do like, the first 30 minutes, then I tag someone in

[D]

or we do some sort of a spin.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Royal rumble.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

How would we decide the order? Wheelchair.

[B]

Yeah. Like a wheel.

[G]

I'm a hero.

[B]

One of us not inviting.

[G]

I gotta go to Florida the week before Thanksgiving break.

[B]

Is that where it is?

[G]

God, I hate weddings.

[B]

Is that where it is?

[G]

So many Florida weddings this season.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Oh, one after the other. Nothing worse. Oh, I gotta get the flights.

[D]

Oh, you're cosplaying as us right now.

[A]

He's trying to.

[G]

I know.

[E]

This is what people say.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Say that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Unfortunately, that doesn't apply because I'm 41, so I haven't been invited to a wedding in a long.

[D]

Correct.

[F]

Then a drought.

[D]

Also, you're KB. KB's wedding.

[A]

KB's wedding.

[D]

Kidding me.

[G]

Yeah. I don't want that.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Kyle Bowers. Doug manoi's gonna be there.

[A]

Is he gonna troll Did. When I get the invite?

[B]

Is he gonna troll you at your wedding?

[A]

There will be a twist.

[D]

He's gonna have a. He'll have a terrific Facebook post about it.

[B]

It's gonna be a twist.

[G]

What dog? He's gonna.

[B]

I don't object.

[D]

It's like a judge. He's gonna object for sure.

[C]

Yeah. What is the cocktail?

[B]

He's gonna bring his pickleball set.

[J]

Something.

[G]

Yeah, he'll.

[A]

Yeah, he'll make it about.

[B]

He's gonna hit you with a pickleball. It's standing up there.

[A]

It's his big day.

[B]

You got to be prepared for that. Doug is definitely gonna do something

[G]

now.

[B]

I would welcome.

[G]

I would love for there to be a character that, like, overshadows the sentiment.

[D]

How are you gonna do yours? Same thing.

[A]

Courthouse.

[B]

Like a man micro wedding.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I think you're both lying.

[E]

Why don't you and your fiance just go to Kyle's and, like, steal, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Keep everything set up as they're doing the vows. You just, like, run up there real quick.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Next to the. Yeah.

[G]

Like, that would be my dream wedding and like, a graduation.

[E]

Intercept his wedding, everyone multiple.

[G]

Yeah, yeah. 30 seconds of attention.

[C]

Have you guys ever.

[A]

Not a bad idea.

[B]

Set up a little table next to.

[A]

I love Florida.

[B]

Hey, here are the gifts for.

[A]

Also us love Florida. Well, Kyle, can they come to your bachelor party? I'm in charge of your invites, actually.

[G]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

I would love to have the yak crew even invite it.

[A]

All right.

[B]

When is it?

[D]

I don't know. Okay.

[A]

We're still working on. But it's in Geneva.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[D]

Oh, Lake Geneva, Switzerland.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be there.

[D]

Do either of you really know when you're getting married yet? Do you have a date?

[B]

Do you know Kyle's is.

[G]

It's November.

[D]

Oh, okay. And yours do you know, Next July. Okay.

[G]

Yeah, I mean, I guess, like, I've spent more time with you guys than all my forks and spoons combined.

[J]

Wow.

[A]

I've never thought of it that way.

[G]

Combined every eating utensil I've ever had.

[D]

Not that you've ever had. Now you probably had something years.

[B]

Only when it's in your hand or when it's in your house.

[G]

I'm using it to eat, to feed. Probably.

[A]

Like, it's probably close.

[B]

No, you're right. You're right.

[D]

You probably had the same forks between,

[G]

like, age five, like, eight minutes, ten minutes a day.

[B]

Yeah, probably more.

[G]

The math would probably be shower.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

You spend more time with us than you have in your shower.

[G]

Probably.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Huh.

[B]

Damn. Yeah. Wow. And you're gonna invite your shower to

[D]

your wedding and your knives and you'll have forks.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

It doesn't make sense.

[B]

You have a Beauty and the Beast wedding. All the knives and the spoons.

[E]

How hands on are you, Kyle? And the planning, you. You in particular?

[G]

I'm doing nothing. Yeah. My team's busting their ass every day. Research, creation. I don't know what they're creating, but yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Have you said yes to your tux yet?

[G]

No, I haven't. I haven't done that. I have to go to, like, what, Indo Chino or something? Get some black tux linen.

[B]

Yeah. You got this.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Didn't go cry.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

That was so long. Jesus Christ.

[A]

Oh, that. That was an eternity.

[B]

Holy time stood still.

[G]

Yeah. Hopefully I can remove myself from the spectacle of the audience and feel the true emotions. You know, like, I'd cry when I proposed in front of no one, but if I see, like, goofballs staring daggers into my.

[A]

Yeah, why would I be staring daggers?

[G]

You'll start laughing.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

Don't do the Noah Lyles first look thing. You see that?

[B]

Oh, what did he do?

[D]

Oh, it's pretty rough.

[F]

Yeah, I had a hard time watching that.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, no, wait, it gets worse. I didn't think you would go with the princess Tr. Oh, I didn't see.

[G]

I didn't see.

[B]

Bright Records is your f. Fellas, don't do that.

[F]

Don't do that. Don't do that.

[B]

Dude, touch her. Touch her.

[E]

Wow.

[F]

Didn't see you wearing that kind of dress.

[B]

Dude, touch your wife. Grab her. Jesus Christ.

[D]

Grab something.

[B]

Oh, no. They're right there.

[A]

Does he nervous?

[E]

What are you nervous about?

[A]

Who put this out?

[D]

Oh, they did.

[B]

Oh, man. What are you doing, dude?

[F]

Yikes. Didn't see you wearing that. Didn't have that on my bingo card.

[B]

Whoa.

[D]

Kate, when's your wedding?

[F]

I'm actually holding a whole stack of yak wedding invites right here.

[D]

Oh, really?

[F]

Kelly and Matthew, Desiree and Tyler. Lindsay and Tyler. A lot of Tyler. Big year for Tylers.

[D]

Yeah, 2020.

[F]

Part of me wants to start going to some of these because I've been in such a big wedding drought.

[H]

Yeah.

[F]

But it is a lot to be like, Pat watch the kids. This weekend. I'm going to a stranger's wedding.

[D]

That is a lot.

[F]

A little tough. Little tough to pull that off. But thank you for the invites that come through. That's fun.

[A]

You should do one. Just do one.

[D]

So we get invited to strangers weddings, but not. Not Kyle Bowers.

[F]

Not Kyle Bowers.

[D]

Interesting.

[F]

I do think about not getting married, but I do think about what my wedding would be, so.

[A]

But you don't.

[D]

That's. That's getting married.

[E]

Hey, that's the saddest thing I' think about getting married.

[A]

Somebody said that to me.

[D]

You can't think of a man wanting to, like, be married to you, but you can't think of the. The event that you would have in case you did.

[A]

I don't want a wedding and I don't think plan of getting married. But I think about it.

[D]

A party would be fine. A wedding party.

[G]

Oh, no.

[F]

What about. Would you guys if. If Me and Pat did not get married, but we were like, we're having a party.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

To celebrate that we are together.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

Raleigh. For a long time.

[A]

Kate, we're friends with you.

[B]

At least until our youngest team.

[F]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Sometimes I think about that, and it would be not a costume party, but there would be a. Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, no, Kate, now you're losing.

[D]

Hey, this is a wedding.

[F]

It would be.

[E]

Theme is love.

[A]

What's the theme is?

[D]

Get dressed up.

[A]

Theme is suit.

[E]

The theme is Mary flowers.

[F]

No, it'd be, like, sequins and feathers or something.

[B]

Kyle and I call Mario and Luigi.

[F]

Okay. It would be some kind of theme. Funny, that would be heavily enforced.

[J]

Yeah.

[F]

There'd be a live band and be like, fun drinks. It'd be like a whole thing. But not a wedding.

[A]

Not a wedding, but, like, would there be, like, a entrance for you and Pat?

[B]

There'd be a violin. Would there be a violin?

[F]

No.

[E]

I think no. Yeah.

[F]

Unless the band had a fiddle. There'd be a band.

[E]

And what. What are we celebrating?

[F]

Just like, hey, life. We're not banging anybody else.

[E]

Well, so I think there should be a. There should be, like, a ceremony highlighting what we're celebrating before the party.

[A]

And, like, you guys vowing to not sleep with anybody else.

[H]

Monogamy.

[F]

I feel like that the kids are kind of like a big symbol of, like, hey, look at us, we're together.

[B]

Kate and Pat share this dreadful existence. Yeah, something like that.

[I]

Yeah.

[D]

Don't even get the tax breaks.

[B]

Pain in the ass. To get him on our insurance, but here we are.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

What kind of dessert would be there?

[B]

Great question.

[F]

That is a good question. I think I would go Pittsburgh. Cookie. Cookie table.

[A]

Oh, where do they do those?

[F]

Pittsburgh.

[A]

But no, but, like, what events in Pittsburgh?

[F]

Weddings.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Kate,

[D]

do tell me more about this Pittsburgh cookie table.

[A]

Instead of cakes.

[F]

Instead of cakes. The. The. Usually the bride's family, they work away for a whole week before making cookies. A million different kinds of cookies.

[B]

Loads of cookies.

[F]

And then when it's time to leave, there's usually little boxes where you can take cookies with you back to your hotel room.

[D]

Just grab some cookies.

[E]

Like, that's. Everything you need to know is in the name Brandon.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Cookies.

[B]

But what are they on? Yeah, where do they.

[G]

Where.

[A]

Where do you place. Are they on the ground?

[B]

He's going depth on this cookie table thing.

[A]

Where are they putting the cookies?

[B]

Unfamiliar.

[F]

Is the table a cookie?

[A]

All right, two questions. What city and where are they putting them?

[G]

A table, huh?

[D]

I guess it was more only in

[E]

Pittsburgh,

[D]

I guess I was asking, is there an array of Dumbass. Is there one type of cookie? What are we talking about? Do you.

[A]

It's all in the name. How do you play Connect 4?

[B]

Do it, Kate.

[F]

It's fun to think about.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

Do you want us to trick Pat into a. Let's invite a priest to this party, surprise him, and give Pat a gift of. Buy him a ring.

[B]

Let's trick his ass.

[F]

Have you seen. I do like those where people invite everybody to, like, a cocktail hour and they're like, surprise. It's our wedding.

[D]

April and Andy.

[F]

What's that?

[B]

Oh, is that what they did on Parks and Rec?

[F]

Parks and Rec?

[A]

Losing your touch, Danny?

[I]

He's got Parks and Rec. I got the office. I do remember, though. I gotta let him have one.

[D]

I don't have the office over me.

[B]

Oh, what'd you say?

[D]

You don't have the office.

[B]

What the did you say?

[D]

I said you don't have the office over me.

[I]

All right, I'll challenge you to an office.

[D]

Off.

[B]

Do we have an office? We have office trivia.

[G]

No, back and forth. All the Dunder Mifflin branch locations.

[A]

Oh, I saw that map.

[B]

Saw it too. Wait, this get.

[I]

I know you're taking Utica on my.

[F]

Did you ever have cancer and go to the office?

[A]

What would your make a wish be?

[D]

Testicular cancer.

[A]

The knob there.

[D]

What?

[A]

And then you raise the. The shaft.

[D]

My make a wish? Probably.

[B]

I'll fix it.

[G]

I got it.

[H]

I got it.

[B]

I got it.

[D]

At what age do I have this cancer?

[I]

You can only be 17 and down.

[B]

Fine. Find us in office trivia online that we can. I want to see these two titans.

[D]

Nashua. Why don't we do it separate? Let's do it.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Those here.

[B]

No.

[D]

Huh?

[A]

Isn't Jeff D. Lo here?

[D]

Oh, he left. He left.

[B]

Damn.

[D]

I gotta do the dozen after this. Don't worry about it.

[A]

Just be sure to say hi to people as you're walking from here to the dozen.

[B]

Yeah. No. All right, what do we got? What do we got?

[A]

Who's the founder of Dunder Mifflin?

[D]

Oh, wait.

[A]

I'm taking Danny to win this.

[B]

Yeah, I am too. Why?

[A]

He was dying.

[I]

I was dying, Brandon, and that was his one thing.

[D]

Thunder and Mifflin.

[B]

Robert.

[I]

Robert Dunder.

[A]

That's correct.

[D]

We never found out Mifflin's first name.

[B]

Right?

[I]

I don't think we did.

[A]

Yeah, you guys are just sitting here agreeing with one.

[B]

Wait, you gotta go back and forth?

[D]

No, we're.

[B]

Well, how you yeah, you.

[D]

Oh, you're up first.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Who is the CFO of Dunder Miffin Paper Company? Oh, Danny.

[D]

Fanny.

[B]

Jan?

[I]

Levinson?

[J]

Gold.

[D]

No. David Wallace.

[C]

David Wallace.

[B]

Oh, no, Danny.

[E]

Oh, no.

[A]

Danny, how many branches of Dunder Mifflin were shown or mentioned throughout the show?

[D]

Oh, that's a much tougher question. Okay.

[B]

Oh, Brandon.

[D]

Utica, Nashua, Scranton, Buffalo.

[H]

I don't know.

[B]

Oh, Brandon.

[D]

11. What is it? Utica, Nashua, Scranton.

[B]

How many. What's the answer? TJ? He said 11.

[A]

8.

[D]

Oh, that's a much tougher question.

[E]

So both 0 for 1.

[B]

Over 1. All right, Danny, Sorry.

[A]

What's the name of the company that acquires Dunder Mifflin in the later seasons of the show?

[I]

Sabre Rice.

[D]

Okay, Sabre.

[E]

Danny's on the board.

[B]

Danny's on the board.

[A]

What is the official slogan of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company?

[D]

What's happening right now? That's not. We don't ever find that out, do we?

[A]

Is that your final answer?

[E]

These are both of this one.

[D]

What is it?

[E]

I think I know this one.

[B]

What does it say?

[E]

Isn't that the. The people person's paper People.

[D]

No, that's the song they come up with. That's not the official slogan.

[I]

That was Michael's commercial. He made for it.

[E]

That's not their slogan.

[D]

What is it?

[A]

Limitless paper in a paperless world.

[D]

No, that's not the official.

[B]

That.

[E]

That was in the commercial.

[B]

Brandon's over.

[D]

No, that's not their official slogan.

[B]

All right.

[A]

What is the name of the fictional paper product created by Dunder Mifflin? Infinity website designed to compete with the iPad?

[B]

You got.

[D]

Oh, the robot. Oh, hold on.

[A]

Shut up, Brandon.

[B]

You guys suck.

[I]

Can you repeat the question?

[A]

What is the name of the fictional paper product created by Dunder Mifflin's Infinity website designed to compete with the iPad?

[B]

It's.

[I]

It's not it, but I'm just gonna say.

[D]

The wolf.

[A]

No. Pyramid.

[I]

That's.

[D]

That's.

[I]

Post Michael Scott one to one.

[D]

Also, that question was kind of wrong.

[A]

What embarrassing mistake does Dunder Mifflin make on a batch of paper that leads to a major PR crisis?

[D]

The cartoons. Each other.

[I]

Easy.

[D]

Correct.

[B]

Okay, Brandon's got Brandon two. I got one.

[A]

What is the name of the first client that Michael Scott tries to impress with the Dundee Award presentation?

[B]

This is hard trivia.

[D]

That's.

[I]

These are first client

[A]

question for people

[G]

who watched it religiously.

[I]

The first client he tries to impress. How many clients were at the Dundies? That was a. That was an employee award. Oh, it's isn't it? Tim Meadows character.

[D]

His name was Christian.

[I]

Do you know it?

[D]

I don't think that's the answer, though.

[A]

Looking for the name of a client, like a company.

[I]

I don't think I know that one.

[B]

Scranton Public Schools.

[D]

What is it?

[A]

Benihana.

[B]

You guys suck at this.

[A]

You guys have never seen this show.

[B]

That's not right.

[G]

I don't know.

[D]

None of these answers are.

[B]

We're watching the Raptors and the Hawks. The Magic and the Pistons actually duke it out.

[D]

All right, we're done. We're fine.

[I]

I need you to bring in your

[A]

T shirts and fold them up. You don't deserve them.

[D]

It's a bastard.

[A]

Delete your post with Mindy Kaling. You guys are.

[I]

She was the only one of two

[D]

out there that Mindy Kaling is like, what? Yeah, she ate the table. Gorgeous now.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

Like she's. She's like supermodel.

[B]

Oh, you said something different.

[I]

I said she ate the tapeworm.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Oh, that wasn't. You said the table. I thought we're back to.

[D]

That wasn't a tape.

[B]

Cookies.

[A]

What a p. Slow the down.

[D]

She doesn't look like Mindy Kaling. She looks different.

[I]

A lot of people don't look like themselves anymore, Brandon.

[D]

I don't like Mindy Kaling either. Yeah, she's.

[G]

Wow.

[D]

Good for her or bad. I don't know. I don't judge her.

[A]

Yeah, she doesn't look like her anymore. Yeah, somebody said you look like the. If you paused mid transformation in the Santa Claus. That made me laugh.

[D]

Yeah, you know, Nick, sometimes I do.

[A]

That's a famous actor. Yeah, you look.

[G]

That's a.

[A]

You look like an A list actor.

[G]

Tim Allen and Santa.

[A]

The most famous person in the world, Scott Calvin.

[D]

I did have a moment they. That I saw the screenshot. I don't know if it was from my Mississippi trip. They said this is exactly what Scott Calvin looked like during his.

[A]

Oh, this was off Uranus episode. Somebody.

[D]

Oh, was it Anus episode?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, here we go. I found.

[C]

If you pause midway.

[F]

Yep.

[B]

All right. Brandon, Danny, I found a trivia that you guys can both do right now on your phones and then submit and then we'll look at the scores.

[D]

All right. Send me the link.

[B]

All right. Both do you have. Give them eight minutes. I'm sending the link. Eight minutes. Ready? And then show us your score as soon as you submit.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

No cheating.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

No cheating. All right.

[A]

I got a anonymous tip on Twitter.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Chef Donnie used to be dressed like an old man in High school. Weird sweaters, loafers, and like fedora hats. But I could be getting gods.

[B]

Is Chef Donnie there?

[E]

That aligns with his musical choices, right?

[A]

You're right, it does.

[F]

What's his musical choices?

[A]

He listens like war tunes and.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[G]

Pre instrument ballads.

[F]

What do you mean by war tunes?

[A]

Like really old marching tunes and like.

[F]

Like John Phillips.

[B]

Yeah. Like sailor songs? Yeah, yeah, Like. Like Civil War marching tunes.

[A]

He used to wear like wool caps to school and penny loafers and an

[B]

old gentleman shift on there or. No.

[A]

Oh, he's around.

[D]

No.

[B]

In the kitchen where Jack said no. Oh, okay.

[C]

We have tribute set up stands here.

[D]

We're okay.

[B]

We're okay. They're doing. They're doing it right now. Appreciate that. Or frames. Or frames. Perfect Mother's Day gift has captured the chaos to put her through, you put her through and the memories that came with it. Add as many photos and videos as you want. Keep adding from anywhere, anytime. Add a message before it arrives. Every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag. Download the free Aura app or text photos straight to your frame. Reach number one in the App Store on Christmas Day in 2025. Make Mother's Day special with Aura Frames named number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the gifts moms love by visiting aura frames.com for a limited time. Listeners can get 25 of their best selling Carver mat frame with code YAK. That's a U R A frames.com promo. Code YAK. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Titus, are you jealous that I'm going back to the sphere?

[E]

I am.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I think it'll be the same.

[B]

Yeah, I'm excited. Sphering it up.

[A]

You're about to be so annoying.

[B]

About to be. I take that as a compliment.

[A]

God damn it.

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

Yes.

[B]

Hell yes.

[G]

Are you gonna learn from your experience and build off of that or just run back the same plays?

[B]

I'm gonna eat more mushrooms.

[G]

Yeah. So you have learned your adaptive in the past. Too small of a dose. Or you could afford to do more.

[B]

Yeah, I can afford to do more. You can always afford to do more. And then we invited Dante, and Dante wants us to go to John Summit after the sphere.

[C]

Long day.

[G]

It's too much.

[B]

And I was like, I think I. I can't do that. That's too much, right?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you want us to tell you one way or another?

[B]

I want you to say, that's too much.

[F]

I don't think it's too much. And I Think you don't get to go away and party very much anymore.

[B]

But I'm not. But I just can't.

[F]

I think for one night you could do it.

[B]

No, but then there's a day, the

[F]

next day that's okay.

[B]

And then there's days after that.

[F]

But that's a three day sleep in which you don't really get to do.

[B]

No, I just can't.

[F]

I don't think you gotta live it up.

[A]

These boys are so panicked over here. Oh my God.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's multiple choice, so they should be able to get a decent amount.

[E]

I'm sure the DJs know their industry better than I do, but maybe they don't. And maybe there should be a DJ that just is like I go on at 7:30.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[E]

It's like there have to be people that like, like the music. Yeah, I just can't stay out though.

[F]

That's the club.

[B]

I've been to an early bird special.

[F]

It's called Early Birds Dance Club.

[B]

There we go twice.

[F]

It's for moms.

[E]

Got it.

[F]

It ends at 10.

[B]

Right?

[E]

Because I can't speak 1pm I don't. House music's cool. Like I don't. I don't mind, but I will just never go to one of those John Summers. Yeah, I just can't. I won't ever do it. I just. It's automatically I'm disqualified from considering going to one of those shows.

[B]

Not only that, but it's. I'm pretty sure I have to get in a car at like midnight to go to another location.

[E]

That's.

[B]

And that is where everything's gonna fall.

[F]

But if the team unity, the group unity is vibing and keeps you up. I think you have to.

[B]

No, I think I just have to make sure Max has fun. Fun. That's all. Yeah, Max is having fun. I don't care. I can go to sleep.

[G]

Yeah, you would hate that.

[E]

So what if Max is like, come on.

[F]

Yeah. What if he wants you to go?

[B]

Oh, that would. Yeah. No, can't, can't.

[F]

You gotta do it.

[B]

I'm gonna pay for it. So that's, that's the other part. Paying for it and then not going.

[A]

That's pretty nice. I would, I would rather give my friends a good experience that I don't have to go to.

[B]

Okay. All right, so that's good.

[C]

Can I ask you an honest question?

[B]

Yeah, please. Honest question only.

[C]

How much of this is your bachelor party? Because I think you've said you didn't have it.

[B]

I Didn't. It's not. Well, like, because I'm going to sleep at midnight.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, no, I mean, if I were, I would. Yeah, no, but I will be. I will not be partaking in all. All things, so.

[C]

Sure, but these are a lot of your best friends, too.

[B]

Max. Yeah, Max, but Max. I mean, John Summit is a Max thing. He wants to do that.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

So it's him. How you guys doing? Three minutes left.

[D]

Very hard. These are hard.

[B]

Two and a half.

[I]

This is for Die Hards.

[D]

We are Die Hards.

[B]

What the are we talking about? You guys are the two biggest Die Hards.

[D]

How many times did Aaron have lice when she was a baby?

[E]

That's one of the questions.

[B]

Hey, Katie.

[I]

It's an easy one.

[B]

Oh, let's talk to Dante first. Beautiful. And, Katie.

[A]

Hi, Dante.

[E]

Dante.

[B]

What's up, dude?

[E]

Bring it in.

[B]

All right. Hey, buddy.

[A]

All right, I can make this short and sweet. Titus, I'm sorry. I'm a drunk idiot. And, yeah, when I've been.

[B]

Look at him.

[A]

And I've been hammered for four days, I just. I say stupid that I immediately regret when I find out about it four days later, like, I did with this. And, yeah, I'm embarrassed. I used to think that about you. Not anymore. I don't know. Like, a long time ago. Like.

[E]

But I don't. We don't even really talk that much, so I don't think you should. I don't even think you should be able to change your opinion.

[A]

No, but that.

[B]

No.

[A]

No, but that was my. That was my issue.

[E]

That was your read on me.

[A]

When I, like, for. Yeah. When I, like, first met you and you first started working here, I was like, oh, he's not friendly at all. But since then, clearly, yeah, things are different. I mean, when we played the mini golf thing, you were awesome, and that

[B]

was, like, two weeks ago. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I know, but that's why. That's why I was like. I don't know why I said that.

[E]

I'm an idiot, so I'm fine with it.

[B]

How much of this was because you're Italian? I was trying to get you out of this. By saying, he's very Italian.

[A]

No, I'm just an idiot. And I was hammered out of my mind. So I'm sorry, are the vibes off? I saw it last night, and I was like, oh, I'm a idiot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, I'm sorry, Do you.

[E]

So do you actually want me to hug you every day?

[A]

I would. Yeah. I would like that.

[E]

This company actually hug you, because that Was a lot of people. I was confused by that. That too. Like, here. I thought, like, one right now. Like, I got. Is that.

[B]

Love that.

[G]

Okay, just take one second.

[B]

But, Dante, I was saying to the. I was saying in defense of you, you. We've known each other for a very long time. You've been done with me many times, and I'm just like, all right, I'll see you tomorrow, dude. It doesn't matter.

[A]

I don't know if that's true.

[B]

It is.

[C]

I don't know if that's true.

[E]

I saw the. I saw the quote that I'm a dick before I watched the clip. And then. So I was like, yeah, I mean, that's. Maybe Dante has a good point. And then the point you made was that I'm a dick because I only say hello and shake your hand, whereas other people hug you. And then it made me think, like, is that how everybody. Is everyone hugging?

[B]

Are people shaking hands?

[E]

Yeah, I haven't.

[B]

I am not shaking anyone's head.

[E]

I thought you're gonna say I just snubbed you, or I talk behind your back or something, which I do a lot of. And I. That must not get back to you. But he does run a tight ship. Yeah. No, but you're like, all he does is shake my hand. He doesn't hug me.

[J]

No.

[E]

No, that doesn't happen. All right, So I. Yeah, I just don't want. I don't want this to happen again. So, like, moving forward, if you want me to hug you, I guess I can. Okay.

[A]

But is that what you want?

[E]

Is that what you want? Or is that just something you also said when you were drunk?

[A]

But what if he's only hugging to. Not that he wants to.

[E]

Yeah. My heart's not in it.

[A]

Right. Do you want a false hug? I'll still take it. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Still place.

[F]

Sure.

[D]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

No. Great.

[I]

There we go.

[B]

Cool. All right, tell Cadix to come in here.

[A]

All right, thanks, guys. Thanks, Mark.

[B]

Time's up. Time's up.

[E]

Also, Dante.

[B]

Are you guys done? All right, keep going. Just keep going.

[E]

I just remember Dante, once upon a time, invited me to his bunker.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

I thought we were on good terms,

[B]

you and Sydney Wells.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, no, it was weather girl Hannah.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To play golf for golf lessons.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Golf lessons.

[B]

Pigeon putt in the bunker

[G]

golf.

[B]

Dude, what's up with the vibes? What vibes?

[E]

Dude, the.

[B]

The vibes are off here.

[D]

No. Did I say that?

[B]

No, Brie said. And then you guys agreed. No, I don't. Dude, I was I don't even remember recording that. We're just fighting out there. All just.

[D]

We're hammered.

[B]

So hammered. I think I just said it's clicky here. Yeah. What are the clicks, though? I mean, I think. I don't know. I think. And there's nothing wrong with it. I just think, like, the Chicago boys, and then maybe, like, me, Dana, Ella, Dante, T. Bob, and like, him. You're just naming people who do podcasts together.

[E]

I think this is just.

[H]

Yeah, it might be.

[B]

You just listed shows. Yeah, pretty much. I was so up.

[A]

Just go to the office, go in their rooms and talk to each other.

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

What are they doing in there? That was pmt. Always goes in there, and they just. You guys are there for, like, a couple hours. You max pft. And they come out and they just don't want to chill with the boys.

[G]

Chill with themselves. We're like the jocks.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

You guys are the misfits.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Kind of something like that.

[G]

Pretty much.

[E]

All right,

[B]

dude, we're not. Okay.

[E]

What?

[B]

He thinks I. I look like I've lost muscle a little bit. When you're in Vegas for eight days, like, I'm just saying, like, I like you when you're, like, strong.

[E]

Do you still lift a lot, Mike?

[B]

No. Oh, no. I haven't lifted in a while. Oh, yeah. So have you lost a little muscle? Yeah, for sure. So wouldn't that be, like, a good thing that I'm pointing it out, being like, hey, I know. I appreciate my boss pointing out body dysmorphia.

[E]

I've lost muscle mass, but physical limitations

[B]

is what it is. You know, I'll get back to it. Yeah. I mean, you do have quotas. You got to reach. What's. What are those? Lifting. What are those? No, there aren't. Imagine there's some numbers.

[D]

Give me.

[B]

If I was just like, hey, dude, your bench is lagging right now. Yeah. Give me something.

[E]

You're still lifting. You're just not doing weight lifting, right? I'm like, you're lifting ground people. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Michelle Ryan. Pretty cool.

[E]

Yeah. You're still. And you working the muscles.

[B]

Just didn't. Nah. I thought Kiddick was going to.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

This is a lovely lady. She was. I was very curious on the industry, and, yeah, she gave me all the answers. It was really cool. That's awesome.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

But did you learn?

[B]

I didn't learn from her. Not really.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Like, answers about the industry.

[B]

Oh, yes, I learned. Oh, what I learned.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

It was kind of cool knowing how much it was run by like how it's a lot more self ran now, more independent more. And very much more independent. And back then when she started like in 06 or something, really didn't have much saying a lot and like, was very pushed around. But now the actors and actresses really have pull on everything.

[G]

More humane.

[B]

Right, right, right. Pretty cool stuff. Yeah. That is cool stuff. Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

All right, cool. Good job. Thank you. Way to go. What? Where are you guys at with. With Connor Griffin? I kind of missed that. So he just.

[E]

Yeah, we talked about it and I beat it to death. It was probably my fault, you know, Like, I.

[B]

He just didn't.

[E]

It's my fault. But I tried to. I tried to explain why I felt the way I did, which is that Conor has a habit of like surprising you, I guess, with content. Like, like not too long ago, he went to Binghamton, New York to throw out a first pitch.

[B]

So he raised the bar too high,

[E]

didn't tell a soul he was doing it, and then just showed up and was like, oh, yeah, by the way, I did this and had like a whole vlog ready. You know, like, that's how he does content, right? Is he doesn't tell anybody. He flies under the radar.

[B]

So he still could have a.

[E]

He still could. Which is so I've. I. I have been tricked, if you want to call it that, by him so many times that my guard is up. When he's downplaying things in content, my guard goes up. And so I kept waiting for like the thing he had up his sleeve.

[B]

What's going on here? You want to take pictures of us?

[A]

That's Tony Stewart.

[B]

Oh, Tony Stewart.

[E]

So, yeah, and then he was just like, no, he. I don't know, it just kind of.

[G]

Hi.

[F]

Hello.

[B]

Hi. I met you at Put in Bed. Wait, I met you. Oh, no.

[G]

Which rendition?

[H]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

God, does that hurt me?

[G]

And you were you. I remember you were dressed for the

[F]

pool and like, Ben mowed my friend Josh. Like 50 bucks. You're like, we'll get a drink with you.

[E]

And then you're like, I gotta go.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[G]

I didn't make it, but yeah, I remember.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[G]

Wanting to.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

What a coincidence.

[B]

There's 100 questions. Did you finish?

[D]

Yeah, I'm finished. I got my score. I'm waiting for him.

[B]

Let me see your score. I'll look at both of your scores, then I'll announce.

[D]

It's that purple box right there under the.

[B]

Okay, got it. Okay. Kyle. That was weird.

[E]

Sick.

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Didn't expect that to happen. She was dressed for the pool. Yeah, dressed for the pool.

[F]

Hi, Tony Stewart.

[G]

That was friend Josh over generalized blanket statement to guess.

[A]

Hey, there's a lot of pools there. W. But you didn't say she was swimming. Just dressed for the pool that could be lounging next to it in the boys.

[G]

And that's how you do it, how you relate to women.

[F]

You know, I ran into yesterday at the grocery store, the waiter I had at the restaurant I sent the crazy email to when I was like, oh, the really crazy seafood. Yeah.

[G]

Did you even meet him in person

[F]

ever at the restaurant?

[G]

And did he remember you kept apologizing for yourself?

[D]

Run that. Run that back for us.

[E]

This is the restaurant that was Pat's 40th birthday.

[F]

Went to like a fancy restaurant. They're like, do you have any foods you don't like? And I was like, well, and then was it shellfish? It was really expensive. But I sent them this crazy email about like.

[E]

Was this like the punk rock but

[A]

I will eat it. But I won't.

[F]

No, that was a different one. The one that Blair's music.

[I]

Yeah.

[E]

Not that one. This is okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You were like, I. I will eat this food. I'm just sending this email because I don't really like it, but I will eat it. I'm sorry.

[F]

Yeah. Cuz you pay a lot of money up front and they ask if there's anything you like don't aren't in well, food restrictions. But I was like, but here's some things I.

[A]

So you saw this person at the.

[F]

Yeah, the Mariano. He tapped me. He was like, hey. And it took me a second. I was like, oh my God. The guy from the restaurant. I sent the crazy email to you and he was like, I. He was really nice. He's like, I just want to let you know, like that's actually really okay. You can. He was like really nice.

[E]

So he had seen the clips on the act or whatever.

[F]

Yeah, he had. And he was like. I was, yeah.

[D]

That's kind of a crazy tap on the shoulder to get. You were my waiter six months ago and tapped me on the shoulder.

[A]

That's a good memory on his part.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, it was.

[A]

Do you see the Phantom has vinyls out?

[F]

He does, yeah. Good for him.

[G]

The Phantom.

[F]

I'm overply guy to him. Anything I see him doing I automatic like so good. If Phantom, if you come back to Chicago, I feel like he's welcome anytime.

[A]

He's one of those guys.

[E]

Where is he based out of California.

[F]

Right.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

Oh, I don't know. I thought Colorado, but I could be wrong.

[F]

I feel like it's definitely west. Yeah, he's kind of good. Looks like his little. Not his little concerts. Looks like his concerts too.

[D]

Look, his little career is doing.

[F]

Little hobby is doing. Well, no, looks like he's doing.

[E]

Danny, where are you at on this?

[I]

I don't know. It doesn't have. It doesn't have the number. Next question.

[B]

Are you finished?

[D]

He has to get all the way down to 100.

[A]

How many more do you have, Dan?

[B]

Come on, Danny.

[I]

All right, I'll power through.

[F]

We should have an annual episode where we, like, check in with our fellas.

[A]

I would love that.

[F]

It's like, oh, where are they now?

[B]

You need to do a fellow Friday.

[F]

Like dump cakes. I think about her.

[D]

Kathy Mitchell.

[F]

Kathy Mitchell.

[B]

What up?

[F]

She's doing well.

[B]

What are you. What are you doing over there, Kyle?

[G]

I was looking at birthdays.

[B]

Yeah, what do you get?

[D]

What are we working with on4?

[G]

Hi, Brandon.

[D]

Okay. All right, Kyle.

[G]

Four birthdays. Rank them by how legendary they are in their respective field.

[D]

We'll do it.

[G]

Willie Nelson.

[C]

Yep.

[G]

Jerry Seinfeld. Daniel Day Lewis. Oh, Dale Earnhardt.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Wow.

[G]

So that's what I was.

[A]

That's an impossible, really good question.

[B]

I think this is today.

[D]

Okay, I'm ready.

[A]

I think the ipod came out.

[D]

Oh, Dale Earnhardt is one. I think he's the unquestioned goat of nascar. Or he's.

[G]

This isn't Goat

[E]

California.

[G]

This is legendary status.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Legendary status within their field. Wow. I think it goes. I think it goes. Earnhardt. Nelson.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no.

[D]

Ddl, ddl. Seinfeld.

[B]

Oh, wait.

[D]

Is this field stand up comedy or sitcoms?

[A]

Sitcoms.

[B]

I think it's comedy in general.

[A]

I think he's surpassed comedy.

[D]

Do you think Jerry Seinfeld is a slam dunk top five in comedy history? I don't. I don't stand up. No, I don't know that he is.

[B]

It's sitcom.

[D]

I think Dale Earnhardt is slam dunk top five. I think Daniel. Daniel Day Lewis is certainly in the conversation for greatest actor of all time.

[B]

A lot of music.

[D]

Willie Nelson is way sub genreing Willie Nelson a country.

[B]

So then Seinfeld sitcoms, and that's. He's. He might.

[D]

But I think Seinfeld is common. Is stand up comedy, too. And I, I think they're.

[A]

I think you have to take the path that he's been the most successful.

[B]

Yeah. I'd be like saying, Dale. Dale Earnhardt. Wasn't a good truck racer.

[D]

Not written. No.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Jerry Seinfeld has two. Two arcs. His stand up comedy.

[A]

But your bigger. That's Hitler as an artist, right?

[G]

I think it's Seinfeld number one.

[B]

I don't think Seinfeld's one over Dale number one.

[G]

But sitcom.

[B]

Seinfeld has to be number two. Think about how many.

[C]

I don't know.

[E]

That Daniel Day Lewis might be one.

[D]

I don't think.

[G]

I think he's the most talented.

[D]

There are other sitcom guys.

[A]

Seinfeld's one.

[E]

I got Daniel.

[D]

What's another sitcom's not number one.

[A]

Yes, he is. What's it? What's another sitcom guy?

[D]

Okay, hold on. We got. Oh, now we gotta deal with this.

[I]

Not good.

[B]

Ah, Danny, you got worked.

[I]

What'd you get? Brandon?

[B]

Brandon got 72. Danny got 54. I rushed towards the end. All right.

[I]

When's the last time you did a re. Watch, Brandon?

[D]

I. I'm perfect. I'm never not in a re. Watch.

[B]

That's.

[I]

See, I haven't. I haven't done it since I left Netflix.

[D]

I'm never not in a re.

[C]

Watch.

[B]

That's brutal, Dan.

[E]

That is tough, dude.

[A]

And that's probably your third best sitcom at least.

[I]

Yeah, I just try not to watch.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Danny, Danny, Danny. It's over.

[A]

That sucks. Danny.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

How does he come back?

[D]

That was pretty hard, huh, Danny? Walk. Yeah, take a walk.

[B]

That wasn't even close.

[D]

Out of here.

[B]

That wasn't even close.

[A]

Seinfeld, ddl. Earnhardt. Willie Nelson.

[D]

Earnhardt's not Earnhardt.

[F]

In.

[D]

In NASCAR circles in the. In the South, Earnhardt is like, what

[B]

if Earnhardt didn't die?

[G]

So Earnhardt could be him.

[D]

I think Earnhardt's one.

[F]

Stuart in here. Ask him.

[D]

At worst, Earnhardt is viewed as the second greatest of all time in NASCAR at work.

[E]

Right?

[J]

Right.

[D]

It's either him number one. Richard Petty.

[B]

Right. Jeff Gordon.

[E]

I thought Richard Petty, but yeah. I mean, I don't think accolades wise.

[D]

But Gordon. Gordon isn't the legend. Earnhardt is not even.

[E]

Right.

[D]

I know, but that question was legendary.

[E]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And as far as, like, reverence by your. By your.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I'm willing to.

[D]

I'm willing to move Willie Nelson to the bottom.

[B]

Music is so big.

[D]

I think Dale one. I still. I think I'm like.

[B]

But ddl. Like, he's incredible. But think about how many incredible actors there are.

[A]

Yeah, he's respected by your.

[D]

He's like.

[E]

He is one. He's like the one.

[F]

Wait, Willie Nelson's referenced by Artists across every genre and, like, respectively.

[G]

This is a Forest Devino, Blaze Seidel argument.

[B]

Yeah, it is. You've done it again.

[E]

I might put Seinfeld 4.

[D]

I know, right?

[E]

I might put Sign.

[A]

But he. It is the sitcom.

[E]

Yes, but it's Larry David.

[D]

It's not.

[A]

It's called Seinfeld.

[D]

It's called Seinfeld. Sure. But there are other great sitcoms that are way up there.

[B]

So if it was Larry David instead of Sightful, where would they be?

[D]

Well, I think Larry Dave would be.

[A]

Who's the Jeff Gordon to Seinfeld?

[G]

All right, Larry David.

[B]

Probably Kevin James.

[A]

No, that's Jimmy Johnson.

[F]

I feel like Willie Nelson and Dale Earnhardt still today. People are like, whoa. I feel like. I feel like Seinfeld. People are like, okay, like that. Not. It's not as big as it used to be.

[B]

But. But that also. Again, that goes back to, like, would. If Seinfeld had died in the year 2000 and.

[D]

Well, that wouldn't have made sense, though. But Dale Earnhardt was driving a car 200 miles.

[B]

I understand, but okay. Oh, people don't die.

[F]

Don't let.

[B]

Like, Kurt Cobain.

[D]

No, it's fine.

[B]

Kurt Cobain died when he.

[E]

Like, he knows it happened.

[D]

We're talking about Jerry Seinfeld versus Dale Earnhardt.

[B]

Kurt Cobain dies. No, Kurt Cobain.

[A]

Seinfeld has a show about driving.

[D]

It's comedians in cars getting coffee. They're slowly driving.

[B]

Yeah, but they're nice cars.

[A]

They are pro driver, too.

[E]

Wow. Good question.

[D]

Kyle and that show.

[B]

Kyle, you rock that dude.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I'm happy I asked what you were doing.

[G]

Yeah, almost.

[A]

Did Willie Nelson have fans like that?

[D]

Yeah, old people.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

How did KB initially frame it? Is that legend said legend in their own field. Can I earn hearts one. Then Earnhardt's a God. That's why I think circles. I gotta get a literal.

[G]

Would it change if I said best at their respective crack?

[D]

But how much?

[E]

So, yeah, that's dd.

[D]

I think that's ddl.

[B]

But how much of Earnhardt legend status is because he died.

[D]

But why are you qualifying it? Because it did happen at the time.

[B]

Right? I know, but it definitely changes it. He was already.

[E]

No, he was already.

[B]

If you don't end up living. If you don't end up, like, Seinfeld is faded because he's been, like, a grumpy guy. And, you know, if you die at the height of your powers.

[D]

But people will look at you differently. But all of these go into the. The answer. He did live and he did die.

[E]

Seinfeld had an opportunity to die.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

All right. Whose body of work is the most legendary?

[D]

Oh, God damn it.

[B]

All right. Do. All right, do the.

[D]

No, no.

[E]

His career.

[B]

Rank him. Rank him. If. If Dale Earnhardt was still alive, Seinfeld died in year 2000, Daniel Day died in 2015, and Willie Nelson died in 1978.

[D]

Boy, oh, boy. Well, I think Nelson. Nelson goes easy for.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Willie Nelson's early 80s were pretty legendary, so if he doesn't have. It's always on my mind and on the road again.

[B]

Right.

[D]

You got a problem?

[A]

When did he put that out? Dale Earnhardt died at 49.

[D]

Believe those are early 80s, if I'm not mistaken. I don't remember the question.

[B]

Seinfeld.

[D]

If seinfeld died at 2000 right after the show went off the air and he doesn't have the last 26 years, I think he is the most legendary. But again, you've changed the entire tenor of the question just to get the answer that you want.

[B]

No, I'm just changing because I like to change the question.

[D]

Because you wanted Jerry Seinfeld to die.

[B]

Oh, I don't want him died. Danny, how you doing with the fact that Brandon absolutely bodied you in your favorite show and it's his third favorite show? It's like, all I had.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Now you got.

[A]

You guys want to do Jackie Trivia?

[I]

I can't. I can't risk him beating me in that, too.

[B]

You guys still dating?

[I]

Yeah, she'll be here this week.

[D]

Oh, really? That was a nice, good celebratory.

[G]

Great.

[A]

Yeah, you've been grumpy, but Daniel Day

[F]

Lewis, besides the Lincoln movie, what else is he.

[D]

Oh, come on.

[B]

Kid gangs.

[G]

When you will be blood will be blood.

[D]

Okay, last of them all.

[B]

Drink the milkshake.

[F]

Not ringing a bell.

[B]

Daniel. They do it.

[E]

They do.

[B]

This is awesome method act.

[D]

He only acts, like, once every three or four years.

[B]

Yeah, because it takes him so long to get into it.

[E]

He's unbelievable.

[D]

And every time he acts, it's like almost an automatic world standstill.

[B]

Yeah, we all stop what we're doing.

[C]

Seinfeld get dinged at all due to his prior relationship trip.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No, People don't really barely.

[E]

Seinfeld standups just, hey, man, I wish he had.

[A]

I don't think he's changed it in, like.

[B]

I don't wish you hadn't brought that up.

[F]

The high school girl he picked up from school sometimes.

[D]

I'm going to get some ice cream.

[E]

He was.

[B]

Oh, man, he's like 30 something.

[G]

He was younger than me.

[B]

Yeah, I brought that up.

[I]

I called her and asked to come

[B]

take what I don't want to say you're gonna take.

[E]

Yeah, well, all right, well, I'll go on.

[G]

You should probably say it if we're gonna think.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Do you want me to go get some ice cream?

[G]

You have a hot take. Regarding that age gap.

[B]

I. I think that was wrong.

[I]

I'll stay.

[E]

Oh, no.

[G]

And that's it.

[A]

But Kyle, do you remember the.

[B]

She was very attractive.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, like. And everybody's like, he could have had any girl. Yeah, he. Yeah, he chose.

[B]

He chose a girl. It wasn' was a girl.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

I think he weighed his options.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

I can have any girl. Yeah, I'll take that one.

[G]

I analyze the field.

[B]

Oh, that. That one was.

[G]

I think he meticulously drafted the one he wanted the most.

[B]

Yeah, it's like when. Yeah, when the NFL draft, they're like, yeah, he's 18. He's got so much promise.

[A]

Call it potential. Oh, yeah. It's a project.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Oh, my holiday.

[F]

You don't have to zoom in on me.

[B]

How old was your she?

[G]

She's old enough for nil.

[C]

17. He was 38.

[A]

He was 38.

[G]

31.

[C]

This was 1995. This is like kind of the height of like right before the height of sign.

[G]

That's been done before.

[B]

And no one. No one really cared, right?

[A]

No, I just. But like, I don't know. Did people know?

[B]

Was it like, oh, yeah, she picked her up in high school.

[F]

Her up from school.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[I]

But like, people who saw that in real time knew it wasn't on the Internet. Like, I didn't find out till way later. I'm sure there's some people who are finding this out just now.

[A]

What's she up today?

[B]

Do you think anyone ever asked that? Being like, hey, dude, remember that time you dated a 17 year old? That was kind of weird.

[I]

It's got to be on his list of no ass.

[B]

I would love to have Seinfeld on the act and just throw that at him.

[A]

Dude, watch Kate just turn into like a black hole, bro.

[B]

Like, so that 17 year old, that was weird, right?

[F]

I have questions about that.

[B]

But she was hot.

[G]

38. I mean, not that any. Like. Yeah.

[A]

Kyle, do you remember you were off of like, like eight gimlets at the bar. But do you remember the age gap?

[G]

You brought up my balls.

[E]

But I was drunk.

[G]

When you're drunk, you don't have. Like you said there's a critical, weird

[A]

age gap between Your and balls.

[G]

Yeah, my balls present much older.

[B]

Get a young.

[G]

Yes. Texturally.

[A]

Texturally. This we're all. You're just talking feel on both.

[B]

Yeah, just feel. If we did a. If we blindfolded you would you would you.

[A]

You would close your eyes, be like, oh, this is a boy.

[G]

An anthropologist, like studied my. That's drunk talk though.

[F]

Yeah, but I get it though.

[A]

I. I can see that nobody else is talking like that.

[G]

Yeah. When you're wasted, you only.

[B]

I don't know what the ball age difference between my balls are.

[F]

I think I got 80 year old tits in a 65 year old.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I'm gonna go see. I'm gonna give you an eight. I'm gonna give you.

[A]

I think I'm probably like a. I think I'm like a 15 year age gap between the two.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[E]

It's not bad.

[F]

I do feel I have balls of

[A]

the age of my man of myself. I have 33 year old balls.

[I]

What would the normal difference be? Because your balls look old even when you're young.

[G]

You got old balls as a young. I did. They're always ringing. I did especially. I remember someone told me before the polls. It was after my hernia operation.

[I]

So like ideally, your balls are always going to be. Which is holy 15 years older.

[C]

What?

[F]

What?

[D]

No, I just saw Tony Stewart and his people over there and then Green Rag just split them.

[A]

No way.

[H]

Wow.

[D]

Green Greg is in the building.

[F]

Green Craig's in the building.

[D]

Sorry, what were you guys talking about? Don't worry about it.

[F]

It's the age gap between your balls and your penis.

[I]

Oh, man. You probably got like wizard balls. Those things are 128.

[F]

Or he could have Benjamin Buttons.

[A]

I bet you have an old penis too though.

[F]

Yeah, it's a real curmudgeon.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

What? My is older than my ball?

[A]

No, it's impossible. No, that's impossible.

[B]

My cockpit is older than my boss.

[D]

But I.

[G]

But like you're.

[A]

You. You always say the size of your. Is it like a. Is it like the Six Flags guy? Is it tiny and old?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Ew.

[B]

No, he's. No, he's. He's the. He's the guy. He's the grandpa from up.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then are your balls the boys

[B]

a little Asian kid?

[A]

You have young Asian balls?

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I just.

[B]

I just watch up every time I take a piss.

[G]

Billy Bob Thornton, Dick Wooden, Pickle Kid ball.

[F]

I saw an article last night about there's dudes who end up feeling furious that they got circumcised that, like, feel robbed and feel angry when they, like, like, rubs on the. My shorts and blah, blah, blah. I'm so mad that my parents did this to me kind of thing. And that there's devices where you can, like, stretch it back and grow it back or even get it grafted back on.

[H]

Really?

[F]

There's like, a movement of dudes who are, like, resentful that they had this done and that they're getting.

[B]

I'll say that those guys just got too much time on their hands.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I guess too much time thinking about something. Like, I was gonna say.

[F]

Are any of you, like, I'm pissed off?

[A]

No. I can't yearn for a pleasure I've never had.

[H]

I don't think.

[B]

No.

[A]

I don't know what was taken from me. Is the sensation that much better?

[F]

I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, that's too much free time.

[F]

That's a lot of free time time.

[B]

It's way too much free time. I got other things also.

[A]

If touching my dick felt better, I would not be where I am today. Yeah, I'm pretty glad.

[G]

Yeah. Overkill.

[B]

I thought that was always touching it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kyle, if you had young, smooth balls, you would be.

[B]

You'd be half as productive yourself all the time. You never get.

[G]

You'd be handsy as squeezing those ingrown hairs and trying to white gunk out of it.

[B]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[G]

That was like, a comedic effect.

[B]

Right, Right, Right.

[G]

Shock humor. Make you guys react.

[A]

It's good art. Yeah.

[D]

You nailed it.

[C]

Brandon, may I ask about your pubes?

[D]

Yes, you may.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

We had that talk a couple months ago, and you said that you've never really.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

Trims it. Did you give in at all? Have you?

[D]

Oh, no, no. I still have a luscious mane.

[C]

Okay, gross.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, I'm in my 40s.

[E]

I've noticed mine's getting bushier.

[D]

Brandon, I'm in my 40s at this point. I would be the pretender. I tried to.

[A]

I can't get the visual of you sitting in the tub out of my head. And it's just, like, swaying with, like. And I just, like.

[G]

I don't want to.

[A]

A clown fish pops out.

[B]

I don't wanna.

[A]

Your dick is like a little clown fish in there. Safe from barracuda. Like, I just don't like that visual.

[D]

I don't know. I just. I feel. I feel like it's a young man's game.

[B]

Donnie, he's dressed ridiculously. Come here.

[H]

Is it a trick?

[B]

No.

[E]

Donnie, what are you wearing?

[F]

Look like a snowmobile.

[A]

That's the shirt. I asked if it was vintage. He said no, it's old.

[E]

Is that like a skiing thing?

[B]

Johnny is.

[H]

You could attest to that.

[D]

What? Who could attest to what?

[E]

I could.

[H]

I don't mark a nice guy all of a sudden?

[E]

No.

[H]

Okay, good.

[B]

Donnie, did you. How'd you dress in high school?

[H]

What's this? What's this about?

[B]

We're just asking a question.

[H]

I got best dressed in high school. I'll have you know.

[B]

What. What kind of stuff would you be wearing?

[H]

Depended I was in. There's a little whimsical. It was a whimsical phase.

[B]

What was part of the whimsical phase?

[E]

Couple hats.

[H]

Nick, why are you laughing over

[D]

couple hats?

[B]

Describe the whimsical face.

[H]

I had one face. I had a fedora phase.

[A]

Loafers, wool suits.

[H]

How do you know this. Wasn't a wool suit? And this was junior high and it was.

[B]

Oh, you were even younger.

[A]

You were a young boy dress.

[H]

I had a bride. Did a briefcase for a little bit.

[E]

Briefcase? The junior high.

[H]

I wanted to be a professional. Yes.

[A]

What. What sparked this phase?

[H]

I have no idea.

[B]

Was this a private school? So were other kids dressed.

[H]

That was a public school.

[B]

So kids were dressed in, like, sweatshirts and you came up with a briefcase and a wool suit?

[D]

Suit.

[H]

It wasn't a wool suit. I think that's. You're confusing me with my brother. He had his

[A]

Enrique's boys just rolled up.

[G]

What would you pair with the hats? The.

[A]

I would wear a fedora and, like, old man sweaters.

[H]

Loafers and some weird pads, some chino.

[F]

Was the fedora, like, ironic or. It was like.

[B]

No, no, no.

[H]

It's tapping into my Cuban heritage.

[B]

Can you give us some pictures?

[H]

I don't know if I can produce any. I could look.

[B]

I would love to see.

[H]

I'd have to.

[B]

I would love to see a young Donnie in a fedora.

[H]

It would be like on my Facebook,

[F]

which I don't have as tough, like, bullying at all.

[B]

Or was it.

[H]

Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. I did m. I did magic. I had a magic.

[B]

Oh, Donnie.

[H]

The whole Facebook page. Magic trick.

[A]

You had your own Facebook page for magic tricks?

[H]

Andrew the magician. This was before Donnie.

[E]

Good name.

[H]

Yeah, yeah, it was bad.

[B]

I mean, oh, my God.

[E]

Did you try to talk all proper when you'd have the suit on?

[H]

No, I didn't. I didn't.

[B]

No, the suit.

[E]

You have, like, a whole Persona with the suit.

[H]

I wasn't wearing suit.

[A]

You did like, penny loafers and old man sweater cardigans.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Wide leg pants and a fedora and a briefcase. For a phase.

[H]

Let's be clear. This was a phase. And then in high school, I. I

[A]

heard it was high school for a little.

[B]

Oh, my God, Donnie.

[H]

It was junior high. Well, you never wore a.

[B]

No.

[H]

Well, you never lived as a kid. I feel bad sometimes you have to do Mr. Rogers.

[F]

I feel like that was the era, too, of, like, not another team making fun of Fedora kid.

[H]

What's that like?

[F]

I feel like not another T movie. And all these movies came out in that era, and it was like the Fedora kid was the butt of.

[D]

That's fine. What's Mr. Rogers got to do with Fedora?

[B]

That's a good.

[H]

I don't know.

[B]

That's a good question.

[H]

I didn't have anything for that.

[D]

All right.

[H]

I was hoping you didn't know who he was and I could see where

[D]

I would know who it was.

[B]

Who wouldn't know, mister.

[H]

I meant more like I could.

[G]

I'm.

[H]

I don't know. More that you wouldn't know what he was wearing every day. Sometimes it could be.

[D]

He would always change into a sweater.

[B]

Pretty much the same thing every day.

[E]

Take a sweater off and put another sweater on.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And then take his shoes off. Put our shoes on.

[H]

Yeah. There's no pictures. I don't think so.

[A]

There has to be.

[H]

I don't know.

[A]

How long was the phase?

[G]

A little while. Would you wear, like, outside of school?

[D]

Couple years. Like, three weeks in December.

[A]

Did it make it to high school?

[H]

It didn't make it to high school.

[A]

It didn't make it to freshman year.

[H]

Well, freshman year.

[B]

See, that's where.

[H]

That's an asterisk on that, because freshman

[D]

year, that's high school.

[H]

Not for us, though. Our freshmen were in the middle school still, so on paper, it was high school. It counted towards your.

[B]

But it was Fedora.

[H]

But it was in the middle school, so you're still, you know.

[B]

But was it Fedora?

[H]

Yeah, that was. That was definitely fedora.

[D]

How did your hockey teammates react to these?

[H]

Well, you know, I was already the goalie on the team, so I was weird enough to begin with. It wasn't really anything.

[B]

A couple years. What if. Oh, man, I love you.

[G]

What kind of shoes?

[B]

Shoes were.

[H]

Well, that's why I got the nickname Don. Donnie was because I wore these loafers called. They were called Don Vons. They're these weird penny loafers.

[G]

That's how you got. Donnie must have really worn those Eighth

[H]

grade, it was just Don. And then we had a substitute teacher, and she said I. I was around. She asked me my name. I just panicked and said Donnie. And then that stuck, but it was because of the loafers.

[A]

So your whole identity is based off the loafer?

[B]

You.

[H]

I wouldn't say that. Don't.

[E]

That can't be a fake.

[D]

You said the wrong name to. When substitute teacher asked her name.

[H]

Yeah, I lied and left that. I ran out of class. I don't want to get.

[A]

Those were Dockers.

[H]

I got in more trouble. But in the moment, that seemed like the best idea is to make up a name and run up.

[B]

Out.

[D]

Why?

[B]

Because I was in trouble.

[A]

Yeah, no identity. She said, what's your name?

[H]

Instead of getting in trouble in class, I delayed it.

[A]

Dawn was bad in class. The other teacher comes back. Who's Dawn?

[H]

Yeah, she's found me in the yearbook. And I got in school suspension or some, but it was better than the alternative.

[A]

But there are no. You don't think there are any photos?

[H]

There's probably photos, Nick, if you. Yes.

[A]

No, I don't have any.

[H]

I'm sure there are photos. I don't know where you're gonna go with this or what you're trying to find.

[A]

I don't have photos.

[E]

What are you gonna do with the photos, Nick? Like, probably show them to the audience.

[A]

I don't have.

[H]

I can probably find the fedora picture.

[B]

All right. Yeah, let's see if we do.

[A]

And is there any Andrew the Magician photo videos that I think I've wiped

[H]

from the Internet, thankfully, Because kids.

[A]

Were you good at it?

[H]

Yeah, I could levitate.

[A]

Why is this funny? Was it just.

[H]

And I did one where I'd cut a whole hole in my pants. And you. You staple it with, like, Styrofoam, and then. Then you can slip your front foot out on the staircase and float in front of people. So I would make sure kids couldn't pass me in the stairwell. And I'd say, wait, you have to for this trip.

[B]

Oh, that's tricky.

[E]

I need you to stand right there and have that exact perspective.

[B]

You were hitting kids with tricks in

[A]

the middle of class when they were trying to get somewhere.

[H]

Yeah, but. Oh, I found a fedora picture.

[E]

How quick was the pivot from the fedora guy to the magic guy?

[H]

It was all pretty close. It was all in the same.

[A]

Yeah, there's kind of lending.

[H]

And I did prank.

[B]

I did.

[H]

I didn't. I did pranks on no one. I did, like, fake parking tickets on nobody. And, well, I would just film it and I never put the videos out. I probably have hours of footage of me just alone making fake parking tickets. Here you go, tj. Here's one fedora. This was on a family trip. See if I can actually find the real ones of school.

[B]

We need to celebrate more of people like this Donnie.

[F]

I kind of.

[A]

That's what kids are like.

[B]

There's definitely a world where you could have just been a school shooter.

[H]

Oh, probably. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know about that.

[A]

No, we all. Dude, I was. I was a claymation kid for way too long. I would just go home and make my own claymations.

[H]

I had friends. Let's, let's. You know. Oh, yeah, it was.

[D]

That's not bad.

[A]

That's you climbing in it.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So you had a master really aged.

[A]

That looks like that could have been yesterday.

[E]

Seventh grade.

[B]

That was middle school.

[H]

Let me show. Let me find this.

[A]

Like, Donnie, that might be mid high school, right?

[H]

No, that's like family trip. We went to the. That's the Grand Canyon. So that's early.

[G]

Yeah, Grand Canyon.

[H]

Grand Canyon phase.

[D]

What is your parents.

[H]

They were good at letting us do whatever we want.

[B]

Like they.

[H]

I don't know if they. They were very hands off as far as if you wanted to dress like a fool. Yeah, they let me bring a briefcase that my brother wear suit. One of. Yeah.

[E]

Would you have in the briefcase that was like your backpack?

[H]

Nothing. Yeah, backpack full enough.

[A]

All your, like school books.

[H]

Books.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Teacher would say, pull out a pencil and you like, pop the briefcase.

[H]

I'd have a briefcase.

[A]

That one didn't have a combination lock.

[H]

That was more of a two week phase. Because that one I got pretty ridiculed for early on, so that one didn't

[B]

last, but I could see that.

[A]

Did you ever fail doing any tricks to people?

[H]

Oh, yeah. Well, I did one with it. You put a salt shaker under. Under a towel and you'd move into your lap and then you hit the towel and go. And then every comment on Facebook was, salt shaker in the lab. Salt shake.

[A]

Wait, how many people were watching these?

[H]

Dude, for a good amount of time, the middle school was all. Everyone in the middle school was watching these. Whether they're making fun of me or genuinely watching, you know, we'll never know,

[A]

but I think we don't. When did you realize you were brave and goodlooking?

[H]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't understand that question.

[A]

Just I don't know if you Would have. You've been acting differently, I think.

[H]

I don't know. I think I was pretty comfortable being odd kid.

[G]

Yeah.

[H]

I'm doing magic and. And yeah, I'll find some of the other outfits and send them. I gotta make rice right now, but there's.

[B]

I'll look for other ones. Excited for this week Weekend. So.

[H]

I can't wait. I haven't slept like. Well, I have slept, but it's like. It feels like Christmas, you know?

[B]

It's going to be fun.

[H]

It's going to be sick.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you a Vegas guy?

[H]

I've never been as an adult. The only other time actually. That's not true. I went for work, but Donnie and I stayed at the Pink Flamingo, which is like the sea. A very cd.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

No, I've never done Vegas as an adult with a very wealthy friend.

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

It's going to be fun.

[H]

Yeah. I can't wait. I'm just. It's going to. I'm going to be like how Reed felt at the other one.

[B]

Just excited for the sphere.

[H]

I've never. Dude, I've never been. I can't wait.

[B]

Do you like fish at all?

[H]

I know I'm not like. I like them enough to be like, hell yeah.

[B]

Hell yeah. That's all you need.

[H]

Yeah. I am a die hard fish fan, but you don't really have to go to the sphere and enjoy music and

[B]

you know, and then.

[H]

John, drink a couple sodas.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

And then Summit.

[B]

Summit. Yeah.

[H]

No, it's gonna be fun.

[B]

I'm not gonna hit something, but we're gonna hit something.

[H]

Hit something for a little bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

You can do 20 something. 20 minutes at some.

[D]

20 something is.

[A]

Give him 20. Look at him.

[B]

Sell me for 20. Sell me for 20.

[D]

He wears a ridiculous shirt.

[B]

All right, maybe sell me.

[H]

This is not a ridiculous shirt. Clearly you've never been around.

[B]

I get. I could give you 20.

[H]

You look like you're a manager that didn't make the team that the. The backup.

[A]

The manager. Not even a player.

[D]

Donnie. That's exactly what I want to.

[B]

Look, managers decide who makes it.

[H]

I'm talking about JV manager.

[G]

Like manager.

[D]

Like a JV manager right now. That's what you're saying?

[B]

Well, yeah. Yeah.

[H]

And you look like a non. A pro manager, so maybe minor league Savannah Banana.

[D]

I like a minor league Savannah banana manager.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

And I will say your. Your legs do look longer than they did yesterday. So that's my bad. I'm wrong.

[A]

Did your legs look short yesterday? I wasn't here.

[H]

We were Pissing next to each other. And. And you were comparing who had higher legs.

[D]

No, because you said something ridiculous. Here's what happened. We walk in at the exact same time.

[A]

Not who has longer legs, who has higher.

[D]

We walk in the exact same time. This urinal. This back here has two urinals. One at normal man height, one small man height. And Donnie gets in front of me, goes to the taller one. Even though I am much.

[A]

He doesn't owe you that courtesy.

[H]

I also didn't pass in front of you. I was the first.

[D]

And then I said. I said, oh, wow. You took the tall one. And he said we have. Our legs are the same height.

[H]

I said I have high. I have a high torso is what I said.

[D]

We do not have. Our legs are not the same height.

[H]

What did I just say?

[A]

How do you not know that?

[H]

I'm sorry, Your pet. Your legs look bigger in those pants. Pants. When you had your big old jeans on, I couldn't tell.

[A]

But Brandon, you're.

[D]

I'm six foot five.

[A]

But you're long torso.

[E]

You thought there was a world where

[D]

I'm 6 foot 5? You're. You're.

[E]

Brandon is. Is like a foot taller than you. But his legs are the same.

[D]

You thought our waist were. Were parallel.

[H]

I thought they were closer than you would think.

[A]

I think that's perfectly reasonable.

[H]

I actually now.

[A]

Long torso, tall head.

[F]

Can we get a side by side?

[H]

I have a bigger torso than leg. I don't think I have big legs, to be. To be honest. I think I confused myself. So if we were upside down, I would be high? Higher, if that makes sense.

[D]

Oh, if we were upside down. Yeah, sure. Okay.

[A]

Handstand. Piss.

[D]

If we were upside down pissing in the urinal together. You'll give me the. The taller one?

[H]

Yeah, no, I would be the taller one. I'd be in the right spot.

[D]

Okay. You have a longer toy. So now you were claiming to have longer legs. I mean, now you're claiming to have longer torso than me.

[H]

Yeah, I confused myself yesterday.

[D]

I still don't think you have longer torso.

[H]

Well, then it's like two sides will never agree.

[E]

Yeah, this is. It's like the Middle east conflict.

[J]

Yeah.

[D]

We'll never know what's in the back.

[B]

Rice.

[H]

Rice mostly.

[G]

We're.

[H]

We're doing. Oh, I actually forgot to promote this.

[G]

Your video.

[H]

Yeah, new video. Making the cut where I go in a restaurant and try to work for two. Two full shifts and something I've never done. We did sushi, so I'm doing a lot.

[A]

Comes out today.

[H]

That comes out at 6pm Central.

[A]

And you said this is like your favorite thing you've ever done.

[H]

Yeah, it's the. The best video I've ever made.

[A]

That's for sure.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

Everybody watched that. Yeah. The end is. Yeah, this is.

[A]

And I don't want to say any spoilers, but I asked you if you got to carve into one of those tunas.

[H]

It's not a spoiler,

[E]

Chev.

[H]

It keeps falling.

[F]

Sorry.

[C]

You're getting better. Perfect.

[D]

Tony is hurt.

[B]

I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to

[H]

learn, trying to get better.

[E]

That's all you can ask.

[H]

I love the guy. There we go.

[D]

Nowhere.

[E]

This show.

[B]

I.

[H]

To be honest, I didn't know that was in the trailer.

[E]

Watch this.

[B]

That's also.

[H]

That didn't come out of my mouth. That was a patron. So that's. And that was.

[B]

Well, let's get eyes on that guy again. Go back.

[H]

That was the height of the.

[E]

Might have to go.

[H]

That was our height of the battle.

[B]

Yeah. This guy's a winner.

[E]

I might have to do this then.

[B]

I'd like to see Mark Titus.

[D]

We might have to become a sushi chef.

[E]

Yeah, they might have to.

[B]

All right, everyone go watch that. Thank you, Johnny.

[D]

Yeah, appreciate.

[E]

See you. Donnie.

[D]

Donnie.

[B]

Steven, will you do the DraftKings read?

[C]

You got it.

[D]

Serge shirt.

[C]

You.

[A]

You wear the craziest shirts I know.

[D]

That's the.

[C]

The NBA playoffs are in full swing and the intensity isn't letting up. Every night delivers high stakes drama, clutch performances and unforgettable moments you'll be talking about for years with the DraftKings sportsbook and official Sportsman partner of the National Basketball Association. Your winnings will get a boost every day. All playoff. Playoff stars turn it up round by round, and DraftKings turns it up with them with a profit boost available every single game day from the first round all the way to the finals. Bet player props. Bet lie. From the opening tip to the final possession, every bucket, every dime, every clutch takeover matters. And only DraftKings sportsbook keeps you boosted all the way through. All DraftKings customers can enjoy a profit boost every single day throughout the playoffs. Just download the DraftKings sportsbook app now. Use code Yak. That's code Yak Yak. To claim your profit boost. Boost every day of the NBA playoffs in partnership with DraftKings. The Crown is yours.

[A]

Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MERNET NEW YORK Call 877-8-HOPE-WOOD or text Hope and why Connecticut. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org on behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass through may apply in Illinois, 21 and over in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. One profit boost per customer per day. NBA playoffs bets only. Bet restrictions apply and vary when offered. Max bet and boost vary. Boost only applies to winnings and expire the last NBA game each day. See terms@sportsbook draftkings.com promos Nice.

[E]

Donnie and I are.

[B]

Are.

[E]

I think we're in a peacetime situation.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

I don't like peacetime situation. I think it. I think the. The mini golf. I think we both went home and didn't like who we were.

[B]

Well, good thing.

[E]

It got pretty tense.

[B]

Sound like we're competing tomorrow.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

So I might. It might come back up tomorrow.

[A]

I doubt you guys will cross paths in this competition tomorrow.

[B]

It's gonna be bad. So we're. The draft we did two weeks ago. Tomorrow we're taping it. I don't know when it comes out, but we're playing four on four soccer and. Yeah. No one in this office knows how to play soccer.

[E]

No, I'm terrible at soccer.

[A]

What's off sides?

[E]

Red flood soccer.

[B]

No way. We're doing offsides.

[E]

We're playing like indoor with the walls and.

[H]

Yeah, okay.

[E]

Okay. So that's a little helpful.

[B]

My plan is to just have KIC just dummy people. Just haven't beat defense and just hit.

[G]

I think we're going to have to get physical.

[B]

Yeah, we're going to get physical.

[E]

Yeah. Evo will probably be good.

[B]

And Montoya is on my team. And she's dog at soccer or everything. Every sport. Yeah. She keeps saying volleyball.

[D]

You don't believe her the way you say, yeah, K.B.

[E]

i'm on your team.

[G]

Team. I drafted you.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[H]

Zaw.

[G]

Which I think was a good pick.

[B]

Who's the best?

[E]

Team Z knows soccer, so he'll at least.

[F]

I think Rudy is memes a good athlete.

[B]

Dana. Yeah. Dana's team looks pretty good.

[F]

Ryan's really good. Stephanie's probably really good. Memes.

[E]

Goodman could be.

[F]

Greg could be good.

[D]

I don't know. I. Well, Mancy. I was gonna say team White Sox. Dave could be sneaky.

[F]

Greg could be a wild card.

[D]

Hard.

[E]

See Sante being good.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

For sure.

[D]

First round pick.

[I]

Dana and Tate's teams.

[D]

Deutsche's.

[E]

Like, there's that. That tell Tate took Sante first. That tells me that he's got some inside.

[A]

He knows.

[E]

He knows that Sante's good.

[A]

He has an accent in his name.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

It's over.

[D]

That's enough.

[E]

Yeah. That looks like a Brazilian soccer player.

[B]

Yeah, but Deutsch and big t, like, the EBO's gonna be able to run, screw around, little legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[I]

And someone has to be goalie.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Are you. Are you goalieing or.

[B]

I think I'm going to make Hannah just try to hide her.

[C]

If I'm correct, the captains are not playing unless needed.

[B]

Oh, I'm playing.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Are you okay?

[B]

I was planning on playing. Okay.

[E]

Yeah. I don't see a good team on there.

[B]

I just want to score one goal and then have that clip forever. Larping is athletes.

[A]

You the man.

[B]

Yeah. Well, look at that goal. Maybe bend one.

[D]

Oh. Think you're going to bend one?

[B]

I could bend one.

[A]

How much bend?

[B]

I think I could bend one.

[D]

Bend it, then. You don't have enough room to bend it there.

[B]

What is considered a bend when it curves?

[A]

It's like a Pittsburgh cookie table.

[B]

All right, so if I shoot it from, like, far away to the, like, on the other side of the basketball,

[D]

there's not enough room here to bend it.

[B]

But if I bet if I shoot it, it.

[F]

I think if you do it long ways.

[A]

A bend expert right now.

[D]

I just. I've seen great soccer girls on YouTube.

[B]

Get a goal. I'm going to bend one.

[D]

Me?

[B]

Yeah. No, Brandon, you get in.

[H]

Go.

[D]

Oh, thank God.

[I]

Way to volunteer for.

[J]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I said get in.

[F]

Go.

[D]

All wrong. I don't want to get in.

[A]

If big cat bends on you.

[G]

If he bends, then it'll change my interpretation of bending.

[A]

You think bending will be ruined.

[G]

I thought it was, like, a masterful skill.

[J]

Right.

[A]

Look at Greg looking my man.

[B]

Curves in or what about or in the middle.

[A]

There's no way this happens, right?

[I]

It might go in, but it won't be.

[D]

A bend.

[E]

Isn't far enough to bend.

[I]

I should go on the other side

[D]

of the court, right?

[E]

You got to go.

[F]

I think it should be long ways across the court.

[G]

Wasn't there a movie about David Beckham bending it?

[A]

It was about a chick that bended like.

[E]

I can't remember what it was called, though.

[F]

We're close.

[G]

Yeah, it was, like, weird name.

[A]

Was it kind of bending?

[D]

Not really.

[G]

I didn't see it taking it on

[I]

an angle, but is that a bend? I don't know.

[F]

No, it's going straight. That's the one thing we've never done is soccer for, like. We've done pretty much every sport. I Haven't seen anybody here play.

[B]

That was kind of a bed.

[G]

No.

[F]

Whoa.

[B]

I bend it. Left hand.

[D]

Oh,

[B]

that's pretty cool.

[F]

Slight bend.

[B]

Took a lot of force. I kind of bent that.

[G]

Some English on it.

[B]

A little bend.

[A]

You couldn't really tell.

[B]

This is going to be bad. Yeah, yeah. This is going to be. That took all of my effort.

[E]

What? That?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

What do you mean?

[B]

My leg hurts.

[G]

What does that mean?

[B]

My leg hurts.

[E]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, I might be injured.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

My leg and back hurt.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Did Greg just bend it? Yeah, it was off camera. He bent it.

[B]

No.

[E]

Oh, my God. Greg.

[B]

Greg, come to green. Greg, come do the gauntlet. Gauntlet. What? Come do the gauntlet. Sam, right there. He's green as.

[G]

Did he. Did he get shorter?

[B]

No, I think he got fatter.

[F]

No, no, no.

[B]

Did he get shorter and fat?

[A]

I think he got shorter.

[B]

He got. Did you. Did you get shorter? Did you get stouter? Shorter? Did you get shorter? What? He got fatter to get fatter.

[E]

The bar still 15, right?

[B]

It already happened. All right, Greg, you're going to do a Body Armor Gauntlet. This segment is brought to you by Body Armor Flash iv. Flash IV is packed with electrolytes delivering faster, longer lasting hydration without any artificial dyes. Flavors are sweet. Whether you're training, traveling, or just feeling the heat, work hard and hydrate hard with body armor flash IV. Grab it at 7:11 today. Can we get. Can we get Greg a body Armor Flash IV to take a little whack of that?

[A]

Yeah, over here. There's one sitting by.

[D]

Oh, wait.

[B]

Got one right here. Right next to me. Oh, nice catch, Greg.

[F]

Greg.

[B]

Way to go, Greg. He's so green. Clemmer really showed his ass on the draft night, huh? It's tough for him.

[A]

Clemmer.

[B]

Yeah. When he was like, why is this guy green?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, it was T. Bob not knowing what a trillion was either.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

What?

[A]

How do you not know these niche things?

[B]

Yeah, these super niche where if you miss one episode, you're so far behind.

[D]

I don't know.

[G]

Greg's.

[A]

It's really offensive. They're not consuming everything we say.

[B]

Oh, yeah. People were busy. Like, dude, what the. You don't know these greens.

[G]

Green.

[B]

This guy's green. All right, we ready?

[I]

Who's goalie?

[D]

Hold on.

[B]

You got this. Butman, this might be a record breaking time.

[E]

Where's. Where's Scoof?

[A]

I believe he's in a meeting about the barstool cup.

[B]

Oh, I have a question for Blutman after this. You guys see that he ran out of water.

[A]

Yeah, I saw that, too.

[B]

We can talk about it when he gets in here, because I just. I have a lot of questions.

[G]

I don't know what that means.

[B]

I did that.

[A]

I don't want to dox him too much. Does he live across the street from a driver law school?

[G]

Yes, he does.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Nick. He lives in a house with a tap.

[A]

That, too.

[B]

That's that, too. Chicago. Water's good.

[A]

Famously.

[B]

Yeah. All right. Ready? Yeah. Here we go. Three, two, one, go.

[F]

Very low throw.

[B]

Do we know GR was a lefty?

[A]

No.

[I]

Does he know me?

[H]

There we go.

[A]

Right foot there.

[B]

Oh. Oh.

[C]

Pretty good.

[A]

Oh, Greg. Oh, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg.

[B]

It's. What's that shot, Titus?

[E]

What is that tough? Oh,

[B]

swat that thing. That's right. Where is it coming from? So low.

[E]

Oh, there we go, Greg.

[B]

Here we go.

[F]

Got a great time.

[B]

Come on, Greg. Red, green, white. Mic's not on. His mic's not.

[I]

Red, green, white.

[G]

Mickey Minnie got you too.

[B]

Too.

[A]

The two greens.

[B]

Mickey, Minnie. Kawhi leonard. Tim duncan. David robinson. Yep.

[A]

European countries.

[B]

Goofy. No. Daffy duck 151. Wow. Out of way. Hell yeah. Love it. Trying to get on here, too. It's great to see you, Greg.

[D]

Yeah, it's good to be here.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

All right.

[B]

You ready for tomorrow?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I was telling everybody, like, I just

[D]

want to play defense.

[E]

Really?

[B]

I don't want to score. That's boring.

[E]

You play soccer?

[B]

No, but in college, we had a soccer league, so.

[E]

So you played a little bit.

[B]

A little bit.

[E]

It's the league, so.

[B]

So only in college did you play.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Were you part defense?

[I]

You're part of the league, you're saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[I]

Okay. So you played.

[B]

Yeah. If you want to count that as

[I]

playing college soccer, I would.

[B]

Well, not like just reck at Mizzou Division 1 college soccer.

[G]

You didn't go to.

[B]

I didn't go to Missou. Oh, that's Greg Ever Northwest Missouri State. That's right.

[A]

Wait, that's the. The fastest Greg. Fastest Greg of all time.

[B]

Competitive field. Let's go. Yeah. That was your first time doing it?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. Welcome to the gauntlet.

[A]

Got the fastest is Greg award.

[B]

I'll take it.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Great job, Greg.

[D]

Damn.

[G]

Do you have any best moments as an athlete? Whether it's wreck or competitive?

[B]

Yeah. That's enough.

[F]

He walks off.

[H]

I was a pitcher in baseball and

[B]

had a no hitter going six innings, and then I nailed a kid in the head.

[E]

That's still a no hitter, right?

[B]

Well, that's still a no hitter. Oh, well, Then, yeah, then I gave up a hit.

[G]

The headshot.

[B]

Yeah, the headshot still is. No hitter. Gotta go.

[G]

Like a no hitter plus a headshot is almost cooler.

[B]

Oh, I thought it was sick.

[E]

I mean.

[B]

I mean, now it's like 12 years removed. I did it on purpose. Now, I didn't mean to go for the head.

[E]

I meant to hit him in the back. But wait, you had a no hit. You had a perfect game going at this point? No, it was just. You had already walked.

[B]

Yeah, I already walked. Yeah. Yeah, the reason I hit him, he. I walked him and he stole first, second, second, third, and he just, like, was clapping, like, mocking me and all that.

[E]

So then when he came back up,

[A]

I just hit him.

[E]

So, yeah, this guy.

[B]

There goes your no hitter.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Then I just lost all mojo. He got my head and gave up hits. And that was your best moment? Moment. I didn't. I didn't play much sports. Yeah.

[G]

I mean, yeah, that's good.

[E]

Wreck or backyard moments. You got any like. Like, just like a. Something that you did around in a pool one time and you. I mean, I got basketball and you got concussed.

[B]

We were playing tackle football on a frozen ground and I got slammed.

[E]

Okay. Concussed. That's brain dance. Not as cool.

[D]

It's not really a great moment.

[B]

Well, you were just.

[E]

I.

[D]

You saw.

[E]

You like. Do you remember, I mean, your friend's house and you threw a ball up on the roof and it rolled down and bounced and then went in?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, we always did all those trick shots, but my neighbor, he's in the minor league system, took him yard all the time, so that's okay.

[E]

All right. Yeah, that's a good moment.

[D]

That's a moment just in your yard.

[B]

No, Hit it over a house.

[D]

Oh, took him house.

[E]

That's. That's sick.

[B]

What? Yeah.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, I agree with you.

[B]

Totally agreed. Need.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

All right, thanks, Greg. Tell Blman to come in here real quick. Yeah.

[D]

Don't y'.

[F]

All.

[D]

Don't y' all think green pants would really set that outfit?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

I couldn't find them.

[E]

You couldn't find them?

[B]

Brandon, go with this.

[G]

And.

[B]

Couldn't find.

[E]

Yeah, Brandon.

[D]

Sorry, Sorry. So sorry. I didn't want him to hear that.

[B]

Hello? Liam.

[H]

Liam.

[D]

Hello.

[B]

Terrible. How'd you run out of water?

[J]

I don't think this is as crazy as people are making it.

[B]

Yeah. Ran out of water. At apartment, Luki opens a pantry, reveals so much water. Want an emergency water? Yeah. Dude, I would have loved that. All the times that I Rationed my water over the months. We didn't have any water left. You're not only ran out of water, you're rationing water. And you also don't know what's in your own pantry. Yeah, all of those are weak.

[D]

Why are you rationing water, first of all?

[J]

Well, just because like you run out of water and then too lazy to go to store. Want sports to watch. Don't really want to go to store to get water.

[D]

But over months.

[B]

Can I, can I?

[J]

Well it's no.

[B]

Do you have a sink?

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

So if you turn that thing on, water comes out.

[J]

Yeah, but like I, I, I don't be drinking sink.

[A]

You could also just doordash some water, right?

[B]

You didn't want to go out like sink water. I, I, I don't. What do you mean? I don't know.

[J]

I don't come from a. Like to me, this is not crazy. This is the Blutmans. I come from a family that has run out of water water plenty of times.

[D]

This is just what it is.

[E]

I come from a family. That's right.

[D]

We get the water bottles.

[E]

Yeah.

[J]

We run out. We're desert people. Big Cat said we're different. We, we, we run out of water and it's like, well, you know, we'll go to the store tomorrow but for now we don't got.

[D]

No, but you're now you're not in the desert now. No, you can I have an acclimate.

[B]

Tap water is fine to drive drink

[E]

some of the best world.

[D]

Also you're here every.

[B]

Mom doesn't love it. Mom's not the one drinking it.

[J]

I don't think, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't think this was that crazy. I thought I was telling the normal story.

[D]

You're also here every day. We have a pretty.

[J]

Yeah, well, we ran out. I take waters every day.

[D]

Oh, that's, oh, we ran out of water here. Cuz you kept stealing our water.

[A]

You had enough for an emergency.

[B]

But I don't stealing water.

[E]

Maybe that's why we ran out. Ran out. Now you, you're taking crates of water back to your apartment.

[B]

Crates, weights.

[J]

No, I take a bottle or two and I forget to take some days.

[B]

So Luki was just hoarding the water?

[J]

No, different water. Not, not body armor. He went and apparently bought water.

[D]

Oh, he went to his own water

[J]

business for emergency water.

[A]

And so this was an emergency?

[J]

Yes, now.

[A]

But Luki's domain is the kitchen. Does he sleep in the kitchen?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, you have a one Bedroom. And so he just sleeps in the kitchen.

[B]

Yeah, he's chilling. And you guys, I was telling the story because we were on text text. One of our text chains. Blubbing. You guys. You guys walk to work every day but you never leave at the same time.

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

Sometimes you pass each other.

[J]

No, I don't remember the last time that we walked together. Winters is honestly mostly Ubers because it's just tougher weather. Rainy sometimes. This morning he walked to work, I would say at 8:30. I walk to work at like 10:30. Big difference there.

[B]

But there are times when you guys will. You'll see each other.

[I]

Yeah, there's times when he's. Yeah, I mean like 30 yards behind you.

[G]

Yeah, I've seen that many times. Commanding lead.

[E]

Yeah.

[J]

We'll leave at the same time. And then he's naturally a pretty slow walker.

[B]

And so you just. You just dust them.

[F]

Yeah.

[J]

And I'm not even a fast walker and I just don't put up.

[B]

Are you guys having like conversations at home?

[D]

Of course.

[B]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[A]

Non ball conversations.

[G]

No.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[J]

Family, right?

[D]

You talk mostly sports?

[F]

Mostly.

[J]

Yeah, we talk mostly sports. Yeah. Not all sports though.

[H]

Okay.

[D]

You know, sure. I don't.

[B]

Yeah, he really. I don't know. Whatever. And I said it. You're a great brother.

[J]

Thanks.

[B]

I said that on the street. Cuz Whitney had no idea that.

[J]

So is he. Cuz he got me the emergency water.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He returns the favor.

[B]

You are your brother's keeper.

[D]

Just got you water.

[I]

Yeah.

[J]

The necessary time.

[B]

I.

[J]

That game could have never ended if I didn't have emergency water again.

[B]

There's. There's.

[D]

We're really using emergency as a. As a.

[B]

Do you not have cups?

[J]

No, we have cops.

[I]

But like I stone, are you anti filter? Like growing up, did you have the fridge that dispensed water? Were you not.

[J]

I don't think we ever. We had the fridge. I don't think we ever.

[B]

So if you ran out of water at 6pm one night, that's just it for the night.

[J]

That was pretty much last night.

[B]

Yeah, that was just it. You were just like.

[J]

I was rationing the last few sips. I think I ran out early second period.

[B]

The next water I'm having is the next day.

[J]

Yeah, well, I've lived like that my whole life.

[D]

I'm okay not drinking tap water, but if you get to a place where you run out of the regular water, just drink the sink water.

[B]

You also.

[J]

I don't.

[B]

You have your own water issues. You don't drink it yeah, Yeah.

[D]

I drink plenty of water. And now I'm an electrolyte guy, so suck on that.

[B]

I drink.

[D]

I, I have a.

[B]

Did everyone has water next to their bed, right?

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

You have to.

[J]

And then, yeah, then I'll have a bottle and I'll run out.

[B]

That would like, that would drive me, like, I have to fill up my bottle of water before I go to bed every night.

[I]

I would think growing up in the desert, it would be opposite. You'll take any water you can get.

[J]

Dude, we had so much water, but then sometimes you would run out and

[E]

then that's not so much water.

[J]

We had, we had Trader Joe's. We'd get like two or three cases of water and we would drink so much water.

[E]

Can't be so much water if you run out out. It just can't be.

[D]

Aren't you walking past multiple opportunities to buy water on your way home?

[J]

Yes. I don't disagree with that, man. I don't like. This is not some Liam Blutman, like, idiotic thing here. This is just the Blutman family lineage. This is how I grew up.

[B]

Up just a waterless people.

[E]

Interesting.

[J]

Yeah, I, I, I, I genuinely did not think this was crazy. I didn't think to go to the sink. I, that just doesn't register in my brain. The, the, the filters. I understand we don't got a filter. I don't think we have much need for a filter. We're hardly ever at home. We're mostly just here.

[I]

What would it take for you to resort to drinking sink water?

[B]

Just give it a try. It's good.

[E]

Yeah. Why not? Why not get the filter and fill it up, up and then have it be filtered and then it's not sink water, really, because it's been filtered.

[B]

You might, you might.

[E]

Then you have just like.

[J]

I like it.

[B]

I have one tap in my house. It's like, best water ever.

[A]

Also.

[J]

That was a thing in Vegas. The water's not. The tap water is bad in Vegas.

[G]

Yeah.

[J]

So I'm not, I'm not like it. It's, it's pretty bad. I, we had folks that just went to Vegas last week. I'm sure I didn't like the tap.

[E]

Did you ever run out of water while eating none of them cake? No water.

[J]

Always.

[A]

There's the quota.

[D]

Yeah.

[J]

Always stocked up.

[E]

That would have been a crazy stuff. That would have been crazy, crazy star. Yeah.

[J]

No, you're always stocked up on a turtle cake day.

[B]

Come on. Yeah.

[J]

You knew the.

[I]

You got to keep a canteen on you.

[B]

Icky Smokes came in today. He was deathly ill. Really? Right.

[A]

He has a habit of coming in here.

[C]

Really?

[B]

He's like, I didn't want you to think I was like taking a vacation, Mike. I don't even notice what told me

[J]

to stop by his apartment on the way back.

[B]

Back when I was walking home, he was so. He said one word to me. I was like, go home.

[A]

He wants you to stop by his apartment.

[D]

Yeah.

[J]

He's sick now I know he's sick.

[A]

What did he want you to do?

[J]

I think he got someone from wants to.

[A]

You're a slump buster.

[H]

Do it.

[A]

You're easy.

[B]

Booty call.

[I]

Luki comes in five minutes later.

[E]

I do respect that about Smokes. He could very easily just disappear. Disappear for months easily. And he. And he will show up and just be like, didn't want you guys.

[B]

Yeah, he was like, hey, what's up?

[F]

He did the combine the. That morning. He got his wisdom teeth pulled in that afternoon.

[B]

Yeah, like blood coming.

[E]

Or when he went to the Cubs game, he. He had like elaborate scheme. Like when really was just like, dude,

[B]

you could have just credit to him. He doesn't. He doesn't miss the big things. Cuz like we don't want to have another miny.

[E]

Or.

[D]

Yeah, Brandon, you were gonna do it.

[J]

Well, we.

[B]

We didn't have a big thing last week.

[D]

What was.

[B]

It was Thursday. Was Thursday.

[D]

Nothing. Draft.

[B]

Oh, the NFL draft.

[E]

NFL draft.

[D]

I asked you months in months in

[J]

advance and Gruden was looking for you. Scanning the whole lot.

[D]

I talked to him.

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

Wait, did.

[A]

Was that a flub on the wiener dog race to have it on the same day as the dragon draft?

[D]

Well, that was on day three of the draft.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

Yeah. So it's fine.

[E]

The draft was on Thursday and the wieners on Saturday.

[D]

Saturday, yeah.

[E]

So why'd you miss the draft?

[B]

You were out here. You were gone Thursday.

[D]

I told.

[B]

Let's watch the video again.

[D]

I told you why I had to go.

[E]

You left 48 hours earlier.

[J]

Why would they hold the wiener dog race in Starkville on day three of the draft when. That's when all the Mississippi State players get picked.

[E]

That's a good pick.

[D]

First of all, it was only two but up jokes on you. We only had two players picked.

[B]

We had zero.

[A]

It gets me hyped to up.

[B]

Yeah, it does. I'm pumped for this.

[A]

Makes me want to go experience.

[E]

Unfortunately, you can't put out.

[B]

I know how I eat.

[E]

Pour it in the bottom.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

They're chanting bee walks. I'm surrounded by wieners and I love it. 3, 2, 1, go.

[A]

The mid blur Cody has found his calling.

[D]

Dogs all off in my face. You know,

[B]

it's a good video. Oh, man. Did you just put that in his eye?

[F]

Maybe he's been drinking wrong.

[B]

His hair transplant isn't looking good.

[D]

I don't think he does any of the stuff he's supposed to do.

[B]

No, it's a little while.

[E]

He like almost immediately didn't do what he's supposed to do. Right.

[A]

Just bob for apples. He was out in the rain.

[E]

He's out in the rain?

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

He's like bleeding. His scalp was bleeding that night.

[F]

He puts it directly on it. Yeah.

[E]

Put the towel on his head.

[B]

We're in a real non talking phase, me and him. It's great. Soon the minute I get tough on crime, he just doesn't.

[D]

Yeah, starts retweeting though.

[B]

Yeah, he starts retweeting but then he just doesn't. He just avoids me. It's. If I say one nice thing, we'll be back.

[D]

Yeah, can't have that.

[J]

I saw him trying to talk to Deutsch earlier. Like two hours ago. Deutsch just neglected him.

[A]

Just ignored.

[J]

Yeah, he was min. He was talking about ironically hair and was like, hair's feeling in nice in the back though. And Deutsch just shut him down and m did not know what to say.

[B]

Do

[G]

you know?

[B]

All right, so what are we doing with this wheel?

[D]

We're not just ignoring the.

[B]

So put it back to regular wet.

[D]

That's fine. Or just take. Or just. Let's not do the wheel anymore.

[B]

No, we have to do the wheel.

[D]

Why?

[B]

Cuz it ends the show. Otherwise I'm just going to be like, what if.

[D]

Why what? What if we just ended the show and we'll that great.

[B]

We can put fun things on.

[A]

What if the sliver goes to like a special episode? Yak. It's like a small one for a case race.

[B]

There's a small one for a draft.

[E]

What about like a. Put a ton of drafts dry on there? Like.

[D]

No, no, guys.

[B]

No. I think we should put a draft on there. Put a draft on there. That's a good. That's a good.

[D]

Instead of wet. Yeah.

[B]

No, no, no. Wet stays. Not reverse wet.

[D]

Why does wet have to stay just

[B]

wet but put draft on there too? Because we do owe the people.

[D]

Are we resetting? Are we just mentally resetting here?

[B]

No, we're just. We're just. We're just gonna spin it.

[D]

Okay. So this sets it. If we hit draft it sets us into mo. We immediately plan a draft for the next. Correct or something. Correct. Okay. Draft is much funnier and more entertaining for the audience than wet is.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So why don't we just take wet off and have draft there? They would much rather see a draft and one person get wet.

[B]

Wet's still funny, though.

[A]

Unless you do a wet draft in wat and then we have to pour whatever we.

[D]

This is not fun. Wet's not funny. Draft could be.

[B]

Oh, yeah. When we hit draft, we have to then spin. If it's a wet draft, you pour

[A]

what you draft on top of you.

[D]

You're just making the.

[J]

I feel like humor subjective, too.

[D]

I'm sure you shut up.

[J]

Fans that like.

[B]

I mean, look at this guy. He could barely. He treats water like gold where you're wasting it. Yeah.

[E]

Bloodman, you want to go get wet? I, I. I want to celebrate the. The seemingly unlimited water we have up in the shower.

[J]

I'll pass today. Unless the wheel thinks I should go. I'll prepare for another day.

[E]

You've never been wet, right?

[B]

Right.

[J]

No, never.

[B]

Wow. Wow.

[E]

You're missing out.

[B]

It's very funny.

[C]

I think it was Cameron Diaz. I think she bathes in, like, Evian

[B]

water, Something crazy like that. Oh, okay.

[D]

May I.

[E]

Sounds like.

[D]

May I ask a legitimate question?

[B]

Yeah, please.

[D]

Why do y' all pretend it's funny?

[A]

That's a good question. Brandon. I don't have an answer for you.

[F]

I feel like sometimes if you do something long enough, it does become funny again.

[G]

Five years.

[D]

Five years. That was like, six months in. We're five years in. We do something that you don't know. Right?

[B]

Exactly. The next one could be.

[A]

Let's. Let's cut it out of our lives and see how we feel, guys.

[B]

It's not funny, but it could be the next one.

[D]

But it never is. We did reverse wet last week. All of us got wet multiple times.

[B]

Funny.

[D]

Not one time was it funny.

[B]

I thought that was funny.

[D]

By the end, it was just boring.

[I]

It seems like more of a somebody

[D]

speak up and say it's not funny,

[F]

but it is so bad that it's

[B]

not funny about it.

[E]

It's not funny.

[G]

It's really not.

[D]

It's not funny at all.

[G]

I've even tried to try, like, I'll

[A]

try to force my way. My mind.

[G]

I'm like, this is going to be the one. I'm going to get extra wet.

[D]

It was funny in 2021.

[G]

For a little bit lotion in my pants. Wear suit pants.

[B]

All right, so let's Make a deal. The la. The next wet is the last wet.

[D]

Wow.

[G]

That'll be it.

[B]

Not shaking.

[A]

Are you wearing an Alabama shirt underneath that?

[D]

No, I'm a Braves fan. I'm wearing a Brave shirt.

[A]

Underneath of what jacket?

[E]

Yeah, he's got two. I. I've accused him of being a fan of all sorts of baseball teams, including the Brewers.

[A]

He's a red blooded American, and he

[E]

says that's just simply not true. He's a Braves fan, so to. To shut me up, he wore his Brave shirt today.

[B]

That's like the bare minimum Brave logo, too.

[F]

It's like the hockey team.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You love them.

[B]

Yeah. That was a stupid question, Nick. Of course.

[J]

Braves.

[D]

God damn.

[B]

All right, Sorry. Brandon, spin it.

[E]

It's gonna be wet. It's gonna final.

[J]

Take your shoes off.

[E]

It's gonna be wet. It's gonna be.

[B]

I don't want it to be so bad. It's so funny. It's so funny when we do it.

[D]

Draft on the wheel can be funny. Now we're going in the right direction, boys.

[E]

But what about. What about fart eliminate?

[D]

That can be funny sometimes.

[E]

Fart eliminate.

[D]

That's also old.

[E]

We have a problem of, like, it hit fart eliminator, and then people are like, can't fart. Yeah, I'm. I can't fart. And then they just leave.

[B]

They got to get wet.

[D]

No, God damn it. Spend the most fart.

[E]

Got to.

[G]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Wet fart.

[E]

Got to shart your pants.

[J]

It doesn't make you sad, Brandon, seeing it say final wet?

[D]

No, it does not. This just. What are you doing?

[E]

Bl.

[A]

Ever been affected by that?

[B]

It kills me inside. Blutman always sad and kill.

[D]

It kill.

[B]

Kills me.

[D]

Oh, boy.

[B]

Oh,

[E]

this ain't. Oh.

[B]

Oh. There you go, Brandon.

[E]

What was that?

[F]

Don't.

[E]

Don't.

[F]

Why? Is that a huge fart?

[B]

No.

[F]

Does anybody. Green Greg. Green Greg, this is your time to shine. You have a fart. Green Greg.

[B]

I don't know if you can hear it.

[F]

I don't have anything.

[J]

I don't either.

[F]

Oh, my God. I have nothing. Green Greg, if you have a fart, I'll Venmo you 20 bucks. Does anyone in the cave have a fart? Does anyone in this office watching the act have a fart?

[A]

Nobody's in the cave.

[B]

Come on. The one day I don't know if I have one.

[J]

I don't. I haven't had any fluids, so I got nothing.

[F]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Why?

[F]

Hey, Wyatt. Does Wyatt have to fart? Does TJ have to fart I have nothing. I haven't eaten today.

[J]

I didn't eat lunch.

[F]

I know oldie is here. Oldie. I know you have a fart. I know you have a fart.

[J]

Yeah, this is tough. I make it a purpose to not

[F]

fart sucks cuz this morning I would have crushed.

[B]

Gross.

[F]

I almost had to leave the gym. That's a sick brag by me that I went to the gym. Oh my God. I have not literally. Should I go chug water or something? Should I?

[B]

I'm in trouble.

[F]

I got nothing.

[B]

This never happened.

[F]

I'm trying my best. I'm gonna grab a water or something to chug and then chug air bubbles. I got nothing. I don't.

[J]

I had the hiccups for eight hours yesterday.

[A]

Should chug the.

[J]

This white boy here.

[A]

The kate fart.

[J]

No liam, I. I don't got anything near. Do sit ups help?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

How do you.

[J]

Luki, how do you manufacture or fart.

[E]

Sucks?

[B]

Kyle, you didn't fart. No, no, I'm with you.

[F]

I think I have a fart coming last night. Not from me though. I think there's a fart coming.

[B]

You fasted?

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

Let's go king. Yep, this is the one. Actually you know what? Can you do this one?

[B]

This one?

[D]

Oh my God.

[A]

I'm going to like myself.

[F]

That's okay.

[B]

I feel like the tiniest part.

[A]

No, I got nothing.

[G]

Jesus.

[J]

Same

[F]

man.

[B]

I mean maybe we just start eating some food. Yeah,

[F]

I probably need a wrap. I should have grabbed a wrap when I was out there.

[B]

I'm going to go. I'm going to go get some chips. Yeah, I'll be back.

[F]

Did you fart?

[B]

KB talk to talk.

[G]

I did not, no.

[F]

That's shocking.

[J]

Hey Ch.

[G]

Yeah, no, I didn't know or T.J.

[F]

you want to show him the note I got on my car yesterday?

[D]

You got one here in the lot?

[J]

Sam might have one.

[F]

For who? Who's it for? State. For who?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Yep.

[J]

That was.

[F]

Thank you.

[J]

That was good.

[F]

Thank you.

[J]

That was Sam. If you see anyone else that needs to fart, you let them know they're needed.

[F]

I was a real grumpy brilly to be real grumbler by Sam. Hey, I got that on my car. I parked out in front of the apartments there. Hey, you suck at parking. Seriously. Even a five year old could stay inside the lines.

[G]

And then I like ordered a bunch of those. But here's the thing, just to put them to use.

[F]

I walked around my car like five Times. And I think I parked okay. I don't know. I have a burp.

[G]

I mean, what are they going to do?

[J]

I got a burp too.

[C]

Now.

[F]

Yeah, wrong end.

[J]

How do you manufacture?

[G]

I. I'm not. That's why I'm still here.

[J]

I know. I'm just asking like. No, he's getting ships.

[F]

I got. I'm a morning farter chat.

[J]

Tweet me or comment your best ways to manufacture a fart. It's pretty necessary.

[F]

Chase. Working on something.

[G]

Are you eating a burrito? Where's that from? We have those.

[J]

Yeah, it's a salad. The fiber might help. I. I don't know what to do.

[B]

Oldie.

[F]

You said he didn't have one.

[J]

I got Tate on the phone that there's no shot. Hey. Hey, Tate,

[B]

this is.

[G]

Whoa.

[J]

Does Tate. Saying he could fart from home. Is that allowed? No. Tate. Yeah, okay. That was a good fart.

[B]

And then here.

[F]

I know Sam's. Sam farted for me, but I was trying to see if I had a real one.

[B]

Oh, you can go, Kate. You're dismissed if you did that. All right, chaps is a farter squash. I'm gonna say right now, I will not take someone in my. My place. I'm gonna. I'm gonna wait this out as long as I have to wait. Oh, don't do it while I'm eating. Eating? I'm going to puke.

[D]

Who's it for?

[E]

I thought I had it.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

Dying.

[E]

What?

[B]

What's up, Far?

[H]

I don't have one. I can try to muster one up, but I'll run in if I have to fart.

[B]

See?

[D]

Max has one.

[J]

Wait, your sushi can help.

[A]

I haven't made it yet.

[B]

Oh, that's insulting

[D]

there.

[E]

Sushi.

[B]

Like, man, you barking. What the. Dude? Ryan, you got far.

[D]

Maybe.

[B]

Let's just. Jack.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you think it'd be worth weird if I got us in aura frames but it was just me pictures of me and you.

[G]

The digital photos.

[J]

Huh?

[G]

Yeah. No, that would be funny.

[B]

I might do that.

[G]

Cute.

[B]

For Mother's Day or Father's Day. Oh. Or fourth of July. Yeah.

[G]

Any of those.

[B]

Yeah, they'd be Father's Day.

[I]

Yeah.

[G]

Would like. That'd be fun.

[D]

Okay.

[G]

We don't have a lot of pictures together.

[B]

No.

[G]

A lot of screenshots.

[B]

Yeah, it would be pretty much just screenshots.

[G]

Yeah, that. Yeah, that would be funny.

[D]

Butman.

[B]

What's that? Reese's next to you? Strawberries. Oh, is there a marshmallow?

[J]

I could go get one for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's some back here.

[B]

Let me get a marshmallow.

[D]

We got some.

[B]

Luki, can you grab me a water?

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know what just happened. Missed that.

[A]

Need a video to divert your attention.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

See the video of the kid guessing the Legos by blindfolded by sound.

[B]

What? Let's see this. No way. He's just talking gibber stuff.

[D]

Absolutely.

[E]

Holy shit.

[D]

Correct. Thank you.

[E]

Yep.

[B]

How do we know he's right? Kleiner Autofeg. Kleiner Autofelger. This kid's unreal. Hey, did you see my wave guy did a meetup. Can you see if he posted anything from it? Dave. Dave the wave fighter. Oh, do we have goldfish? Can you see if we have goldfish? Goldfish are instants. Did he have a meetup? He had a meetup. Play the first video.

[G]

So I've been doing some prep work

[A]

for my event next weekend.

[G]

Big shout out to active locals. We're gonna get active. Get local, get wet.

[B]

Get them waves. There's still a few spots left, so get that link and sign up on the app and join the event. This is a level one course of

[G]

wave fighting techniques in philosophy.

[B]

So I'm giving you a bit of a peek behind the curtain here, showcasing one of the advanced wave fighting techniques,

[G]

which is the ancient Atlantean art of shore drifting.

[C]

It's more by no means an easy feat.

[B]

So come along, begin your journey and become an elite Wave fighter today. Punch on. I love that gas, guys.

[E]

Go, go.

[B]

I can't. Go, go, go.

[H]

I can't hold it.

[E]

Did you got it?

[B]

It might squeeze out this R. I

[G]

lost on the walk and you were

[A]

duck walking and everything.

[B]

You lost it on the walk?

[E]

You were duck walking and I was

[H]

talking to Tom for too long.

[B]

Oh, is Max over there or.

[H]

No, no, Max.

[B]

I don't.

[H]

I can't. I can't find him.

[J]

No.

[G]

No one's stepping up.

[B]

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not taking anyone for me.

[G]

But no one wants to.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm also not. I'm. I'm doing.

[G]

They don't want to get mixed with the wrong click.

[J]

I just farted off camera.

[B]

You farted off camera? Of course, Bar.

[D]

I just.

[J]

Just want.

[B]

That's your girl. Your girlfriend in Canada.

[J]

I just didn't even register it.

[B]

No, I didn't register. I have taken my kids to. I signed them up for golf lessons.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[G]

I remember. I did it at like 8 years old.

[B]

I just.

[G]

Really fun.

[B]

I never golfed as A kid, and every time I see someone who's, like, good at golf, you, like, can notice, like, oh, that that person learned how to golf when they were a kid. Like, their swing is perfect, right?

[G]

No, I, I. I did a league.

[B]

I feel, like, didn't help.

[G]

It's just fun.

[B]

But it's also, like, something. If I could drive, learn how to golf, that's something they can play for the rest of their life, you know?

[G]

Well, if they do well and they like it, then you sign them up for, like, private lessons, right?

[B]

Be expensive. But I don't know. I'm in the phase of, you tell me if this is correct pain. I think it's correct parenting, everything.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I sign my kids up for everything, right. Just to see if any of them stick. Golf, sports, taekwondo, baseball, basketball, soccer, everything. Yeah, just like, hey, one of them's got, like. If you like one of them, we'll just keep doing that. That's actually getting good at tight. Oh, you know what?

[G]

I'm gonna use their own imagination.

[B]

You know what I think I'm gonna do? Off the mic on the court, please tell me if this is crazy. I need you to tell me. Be honest. I'm signing up for Brazilian jitsu. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[G]

You are?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[G]

That's crazy.

[B]

I kind of want to. I kind of want to start testing myself a little bit. Is that like a midlife crisis thing? Yeah, but, like, what?

[G]

Now you're doing too much.

[B]

Like, I want to go get, like, choke out real quick.

[G]

You. So it's like a. That specifically you want to get.

[B]

No, not that specifically, but, like, like, human body craves contact. Like, just, you know, just, like, maybe tire me out a little. Just. Just a little wrestling. Rumbling.

[E]

You got to just.

[G]

You got to get codes.

[B]

What are those?

[J]

Gummies. Sweetest gummies.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

You don't think that's a good idea?

[G]

Like, yeah, sure, ambitious, like, ambition gives us momentum, but at what point does it rob us of contentment, of some deep.

[B]

I know. I've just been thinking, like, I don't think it's a midlife crisis. I just. I really crave. I miss feeling like I'm in shape, and I miss. I. I've realized I can't do it on my own. I need structure. Like, when I used to do CrossFit, that was, like, the best because I would just show up, turn my brain off, do whatever they told me to do, feel great. I need something like that.

[G]

I get that. And people will tell you that Jiu Jitsu is a phenomenal workout.

[B]

Right? I don't know.

[G]

It's, like, therapeutic.

[B]

Maybe it's a bad.

[G]

It builds community. I just feel you're. You're overworking. Yeah, I think the Chinese workout was perfect.

[B]

No, I've been doing it. I did it yesterday, I do it today. Still. I'm also very close to sauna and cold plunge.

[G]

Yeah, I had a phase with that, and I didn't really get enough out of it. That could be on me.

[B]

What are you supposed to do? Sauna or cold plunge?

[G]

First they said just go back and forth.

[D]

Okay.

[G]

But then I was like, well, what is the real benefit fit?

[B]

Right?

[G]

And it's a lot of, like, pseudo answers. Like, oh, circulation, longevity.

[B]

I just want to feel better.

[J]

I think both those things just feel good too.

[B]

Right?

[J]

I loved going in the sauna.

[B]

Well, I put a sauna and cold plunge in my house, so I got to use it now. Otherwise, I think you feel better.

[G]

Could you just, like, do nothing for a day?

[B]

What do you mean?

[G]

Like, today I'm on nothing that's ever, literally every day.

[I]

What do you mean?

[B]

Mean? What do you mean?

[G]

You're talking about, like, fitness? No, I'm talking about, like, actually do nothing.

[B]

No, I can't. Unfortunately, that's not in the cards. If, like, my wife was out of town with all three of my kids, maybe.

[G]

What about lounge with the kids?

[B]

Kids don't lounge.

[G]

Enjoy the moment. Live in the present.

[B]

No, I live in the present with them. But I'm saying, like, they don't lounge. They don't lounge.

[D]

They're. They're.

[B]

They have energy. The energy supply of kids. They just wake up at 6 o' clock every morning and I'm like, close your eyes, go back to sleep. And they're like, we don't know how to. I'm like, what do you mean? Close your eyes, go back.

[G]

But then they'll get.

[B]

They're like, no, it's too boring.

[G]

They'll get to 13, 14, and then they want to sleep all the time.

[B]

Right? But right now, 6am Sometimes even earlier, and I'm just like, go back to sleep. Like, it's boring.

[G]

Yeah, they wanna.

[B]

But sleep is not boring. Sleep is the greatest thing ever. I don't get it.

[G]

Jay, are you excited about. What is your favorite draft pick for the Bucks? There's one that I became fond of.

[C]

Keonte Scott?

[G]

No. Oh, guess.

[B]

Oh, the guy.

[C]

Trotter.

[B]

What?

[C]

Josiah Trotter?

[J]

Not Ted Hurst?

[C]

I like Ted Hurst.

[G]

Is the. Is Bauer not on the Bucks.

[C]

Oh yeah, yeah. Last round pick the tight end.

[G]

What's his name?

[B]

Oh yeah, yeah. Sharp.

[G]

Bauer Bower Sharp. Yeah.

[C]

What? You're no relation, right?

[B]

Well, no, because his name's Bauer Sharp.

[G]

No, not related to BOWER Sharp, surprisingly.

[C]

May 3rd birthday coming up. Good friend. I mean 23.

[G]

It's a fun name.

[B]

Really fun name.

[J]

Looking worse.

[B]

Oh, William.

[C]

Oh, it's not even his real name.

[G]

It's gonna be like a support campaign for me when I get dementia.

[B]

Power Sharp.

[G]

Have the bracelets. Still doing crosswords. Bower Sharp.

[C]

Was there a Bower that did steroids? Bower. Oh yeah.

[B]

Do you guys see Trevor Bauer throw a no hitter in a seven inning game against like nobody's. And he was like still got it. And also his teammates hate him. He sees pull up the clip. Clip TJ of him throwing the no hitter. Look at the reaction from his teammates.

[J]

Did you see the clip of like the 51 year old pitcher in that league?

[B]

Yeah. Look at this. This is a no hitter. Oh man. Brutal. It was seven innings also.

[G]

What league is that?

[A]

Long Island Ducks. So they're playing a seven inning double header.

[G]

Well, he's not so far out of his prime that he wouldn't be outstanding still, would he? Especially at the minor league level.

[B]

Yeah, he should be dominating none of

[C]

the infielders aside from the catch.

[B]

No, he's.

[A]

He had success in international like he had like some good moments in the Japanese league and then some horrendous moments. And then he went to Mexico and had some great moments and then some bad moments.

[D]

So is this the guy who Marty

[C]

got hit off of? Marty got.

[A]

I believe Marty did a video with him. Yeah,

[B]

I'm gonna get there.

[C]

I'm getting close.

[B]

It is. I'm the only one who respects the wheel. And then the wheel did this to me. Yeah.

[C]

Brandon was the first one out. He's a gosh, it's a gassy fool.

[J]

I don't, I don't think I. I think he's tripping.

[D]

Over what?

[B]

Kb, what's your.

[J]

Did you make sushi?

[B]

Legitimate. Legitimately. Can I ask a legitimate question? What is your actual biggest fear?

[G]

My biggest fear?

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Probably having like a child who resents me.

[B]

That's a pretty big fear. I didn't even think about that. I think my biggest fear is that just I'm gonna like time is moving too fast and I'm going to like in the blink of an eye. I'm gonna wake up and be like, what the. Dude, that was awesome. But man, I wish I feel like

[G]

you, you do a good job at taking time to enjoy and embrace.

[B]

Yeah. But I just, it just feels like time just keeps moving, moving so much faster now. And it's just really hard to like, just like hold on, just be like everything that I got right now is so awesome and I'm so blessed. And it's like just. That's just. I just know there's no I visual. I do visualization of like, like little things. Like even in my house where I'm like, my kids are running around and chasing each other and I'm like, I visualize like 10 years.

[G]

Well, I think it doesn't exist. You're looking at like life from the perspective of something like it. You don't need a deadline.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

You can slow down mentally.

[B]

I know. I, I think it's just. I struggle with the idea that like. I know, like, like the old, like you wish you knew the good old days when you were in the good old days. Like, I know it's the good old days. Yeah. So it's like, man, I wish I could just pause. Everything.

[G]

Everything in life is a trade off. And one of the sacrifices there is that it goes really fast. But the alternative would be that every day is a slob.

[B]

You're. No, I'm blessed in that you're unfulfilled.

[G]

And every day sucks so bad and it goes so slowly.

[B]

Listen, I'm. I. That never, that never escapes me how like lucky I am in that respect where it's like even I was talking to someone about like, you know, it's. It's 10 years now where I haven't had a Sunday night at home. You know what I mean? Like, I haven't, I haven't. I don't know what it feels like to be at home on a Sunday night. Night. But like, that's, that's not a, that's not a like actual like complaint because it's like I get to come in and do this. Right.

[C]

Cost to do business.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I had that exact thought two nights ago. My. You know when, like as a parent, when bedtime's coming around, like you kind of want to just get to it.

[B]

Yeah. It's like day to day, it feels like a slog. You're not a slog.

[C]

Yeah. And you kind of like rush through it. And it was like my kids, bedtime's eight. It was like 7:30 and I. And they're like, can we play? Like, can you just like chase us and that. And they're at that stage and your kids are like same age where it's like that's like, that's the fun part.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And like in the moment we've been playing for like 15 minutes and doing it all and I'm going to a separate room and counting with the dog and I'm like, man, like I really just want them to go to sleep. But at the same time, like I know when I'm on my deathbed, I'm going to think about this.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

How I wish I could. I would do anything to come back. So just like, like take your time, enjoy it. This is what life's about.

[B]

Yeah. Like I, I pillow fight with my son who by the way, he's, he's not. The rules of combat are not. They're, they're not fair. He gets, he, he, he just doesn't play by fair rules. And I just, but we, that's irregardless. It's fun.

[G]

Bite your.

[B]

No. I hit him hard and then he's like that's too hard. And I'm like. And then he sneak attacks me. I'm like, what the dude.

[G]

But is he open to get. Getting a little roughed up?

[B]

Yeah, he likes to get a little roughed up.

[G]

Some kids are adamantly against it.

[B]

I had to have a hard conversation with him this weekend. I don't really know how you do it. Like he, you know, he's six so like, you know he'll like hit every now and then when he gets frustrated and can't. Like you know, just normal kid. And like, like he hits my wife. And I told him, I was like, we don't hit women. And he was like, why? And I was just like, you just don't. And I was like, I didn't really have. I was like, you're going to be stronger than women. You can't hit women. But it was like a very uncomfortable. I was like, I really should have thought this one out before.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Cuz then he's like, can I hit guys? I'm like, well no, you shouldn't be hitting anyone. Yeah.

[G]

Why not? Women.

[B]

Yeah. One of those conversations I thought I was going into correctly. And then I was like, I really didn't, I didn't think about, about the three questions after.

[G]

You wouldn't be like, oh, what because. Because we're biologically.

[B]

I kind of said that. I was like, I'm strong. Like I was like, I don't hit you. I'm stronger than you. And then that also opened up.

[A]

It was.

[B]

I just do I, I those up

[G]

sometimes I'll Tell them. Like, we, we don't. There's a. There's a fine line between men and women. Like, we don't need that. They need us. They need us for, for safety and religious salvation.

[B]

We're funnier than them.

[G]

But in reality, it's the opposite. Yeah, we desperately need them. The happiest subgroup of people in the world are single women.

[B]

Oh, I disagree.

[G]

Now, this has been tested.

[B]

No, I, I disagree.

[G]

Single one.

[B]

Throw that test out.

[C]

I might say so.

[G]

So married men are significantly happier than single men.

[B]

Are you.

[A]

But let me.

[G]

But single women.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Are significantly happier than married women.

[B]

Are you excited to get married? Married?

[G]

Yes, but I feel like I, I, Yeah, I am, but I feel like I already am.

[B]

Yeah, but there's something about it. I don't know. Like, there's. And I tell people this when they're, like, engaged. Like being married to, like, your true partner and like, having a good mar.

[D]

It.

[B]

It is a superpower in life.

[G]

Right.

[B]

Where it's like, you feel like every problem can be beaten because there's two of you. You know what I mean? There's not, there's no, Like, I gotta deal with this myself. It's like, no, you have someone there, there who can help you through everything.

[E]

So.

[G]

Yeah, I don't want more than just like the, the legal label.

[D]

Right.

[G]

You really feel as.

[B]

It's a partnership. Yeah. It's like, if I have a problem, she has a problem. She has a problem, I have a problem, and we tackle it together.

[G]

Right.

[B]

And it's like knowing someone who's like, always got your back is a superpower.

[G]

Yeah. I'm excited for the, the commitment of true unity.

[B]

Right.

[G]

We're one. We're one team.

[B]

Right. And you're like, yeah, she's got my back. I got her back back. Like, friends come and go. Things change in life. But, like, that's. Yeah, that's my teammate, so it's a special feeling. You should be excited.

[J]

I didn't know how to break this info up. What happens if you fart but no sound is made?

[B]

It doesn't count.

[G]

Does we have to hear it. People have to hear it.

[C]

Did you cry on your wedding day?

[A]

No.

[C]

Do you expect you will? You said you cried during the proposal.

[G]

So I'm just like a vastly different person and for. In front of people.

[C]

That's right. So I didn't cry.

[G]

An intimate, emotional moment. I don't think I'd be able to. I don't know. Maybe. We'll see.

[C]

My wife got mad. I didn't cry. I didn't really cry during my kids verse either.

[B]

I cried during my kids first. I cry also during like, like when we were writing the PMT book, we had to. The end of the book is like we all wrote a chapter on how it will end. Oh, I got a little teary eyed on that. Oh yeah.

[G]

Thinking about the ending.

[B]

Yeah. I just said never.

[G]

Right.

[B]

And I admitted that's just a.

[C]

But then not everyone, I'm sure had that.

[B]

No, no. People had funny things. They Different. Different hypotheticals. Yeah.

[G]

Thinking about the ending.

[B]

Yeah. It's hard. Like I think about that with the act sometimes. Like what? You know, I just think about that where I'm like, yeah, someday it's just not going to be here. And like what is that? That. What does that mean?

[G]

That's a real fear.

[B]

Like in five years, like, what if the act's not here? It's like, I don't.

[D]

Our.

[B]

Our relationship would, would. I'd still consider everyone friends, but it's like not having the daily touch point would be very bizarre.

[C]

That's huge. Like I had a guy, one of my best friends and we used to work together and then I got married shortly because. Came before I came to Barstool and so I switched jobs and he would sit next to me so we talked every day. And now like he was my wedding and nothing against him, I still really like him. But it's just like we've fallen a little bit out of touch and it, it's tough. He lives back in New York so it's, it's. We don't see each other.

[D]

It's.

[C]

It's tough to kind of get back to.

[B]

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to like keep friendships alive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's really, really tough.

[C]

And this is. Yeah.

[G]

Yeah. You ever take like mushrooms and you're like, holy, I'm not a good friend?

[B]

What? Oh, no, no. Yeah, Mushrooms. Yeah. Mushrooms make you think.

[G]

It's like, damn. I. I want to really take advantage of friendships more.

[B]

Yeah. And these, these problems by the way, are not real pro. Like everything we're talking about right now is not like, these are not things that consume me. It's just we're. When I have a moment to reflect, I think about some of these things. It's not like I'm like every day like, oh my God, I'm in a crisis. I'd actually probably the opposite where I'm exceptionally happy. But there's like things that like, you'll stop for a second. My son Asked me the other day, are daydreams real? I was like, I don't know. It's a tough one.

[E]

One.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

My daughter asked me if birds have boogers. That's a good question. Hard, man. The kids ask these questions. I'm just like, what the. How do I answer these things? I'm. I'm a stupid person.

[C]

I think I've gotten to the point where my son is smarter than me.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not there yet because my son can like, barely read. I can read. I can read good.

[G]

Me too.

[B]

Yeah. But we're getting close. Yeah. Where he's dropping facts on me about the solar system and he corrected me about Pluto. I didn't know Pluto was kind of back.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, it's like kind of back. Not all the way back, but like, they're like, they have like a new term for Pluto. And I was just like, what the. Yeah, he dropped that on me.

[G]

I was like, okay, let him daydream too.

[B]

Yeah. I told him, I said, do it.

[G]

Use your imagination. Anything is possible. Create anything with your mind.

[B]

I like that. I like that a lot.

[G]

What if Pluto is, you know, made of boobs?

[B]

Then I'd have to talk about boobs.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Good problems to have. This is a bad problem. Yeah, this is a bad problem to have. I haven't tried in a while because I really don't want to. Because if I fail, the next time I might be just be like, stuck here forever. You got one, Kyle.

[G]

Back to existential dread.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, let's talk about it. Oh, nice. Who is that? Jay? Way to go. What do you got? What do you got, Kyle? Existential dread. No, give it to me.

[G]

I don't have the right answers. I try to combat it by thinking that everything is meaningless.

[B]

Oh, man, that's tough, right? I do. I do an exercise that has helped me a lot lot in that, like, if you have a problem, whatever, whatever it may be, just ask yourself, is that going to be it? Will that be a problem that you remember in a year? In or a month? Six months? A year. And if the answer is no, then it's not really a problem. Because it's not. Like, that's the thing is we get so consumed with our day to day, it's like, oh, you get pissed off about traffic or like this or that. And like, is this a real problem? No, this isn't a real problem. Real problems are like people being sick and like, you know, like that, like that's. Those are real problems. So, yeah, it helps Because I just, like, immediately check myself where it's like something stresses me out or something pisses me off. I'm just like, hold on a second. In a week from now, am I gonna remember this? No. Okay. Not a problem.

[F]

It's good.

[D]

Good.

[B]

It's good exercise.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

How long do you think you're going to be doing this?

[G]

Doing this?

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

It doesn't feel like I'm getting close.

[B]

Do you have, like a. A distance in the. In the distance? Like, 10 years, 15 years.

[G]

Oh, are you talking. I thought you're talking about farting.

[B]

No. This, maybe.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[B]

No, no, I'm saying, like, this.

[G]

This, this.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

For as long as it's rewarding.

[B]

That's good answer.

[G]

It's extremely rewarding.

[B]

That's a really good answer.

[G]

And for as long as I can.

[B]

Also true.

[G]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah. I think. I think the thing I'll struggle with, like, in the next, I don't know, five, 10 years, I'll probably have to power through. Like, there will be a moment where I'm. I'm the, like the old guy getting mocked. But then I think you can get through that and go through the other side where it's like. But also, who cares? You know? Like, if your audience ages with you, especially, it's like, okay, they don't care.

[G]

I think that's what's gonna happen. Like, I don't think people are gonna. People aren't gonna age out of Internet consumption.

[B]

No, definitely not. And also, I think we become. We don't realize it to the point. Like. And I appreciate this so much. Like, we are part of people's lives. Lives day to day and routine. Which is the most rewarding thing that you can be when someone comes up and they're like, yeah, I listen to the act every day, or I listen to the pmt, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. It's like you. I feel like, connected to you. It's like. That's awesome. Like, my favorite thing. My favorite thing is when I'm, like, walking Stella or taking my kids to school and, like, someone passes me and they just, like, they just go like this. Point to their phone or, like, point to their headphones. Like, you're. I'm with you right now.

[G]

The more they know about me, the more appreciative.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Because I kind of get hung up on results. Like, I want to perform well.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

And it's way more rewarding if people just.

[B]

The connection is the thing. Yeah. The numbers mean nothing. The connection is the thing.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, the numbers are fine. Yes, they're superficial and you want to be, you want to perform. But like, the connection and like, people who are like, tell me like, oh, I've been reading or like, for the last 12 years, and I've gone through all these life things like holy, man. Yeah.

[G]

And that can be so overwhelming that you try to combat it by being like, I don't know, what was I gonna say?

[B]

I. I went to. I was. I was at my kids basketball game, game, and it was the ymca, and this kid came up to me and was like, hey, man, like, just want to say, like, I used to. I went to Lincoln Park High School and played on the baseball team. And I remember watching you walk Stella in Oz park. This was like 10, 11 years ago. Grown ass adult. He's like, I remember when I was

[G]

like 16, planted in their memory, like, holy.

[B]

That's awesome. Yeah, it's cool. But then you also have to. Then you also have to combat it with, like, when you die.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Outside of the people closest to you, the Internet will move on within 24 hours.

[G]

And we've seen that firsthand.

[B]

Firsthand. How many people still think of David Bowie? I guess that's.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's bad because I try to

[G]

forever combat the overwhelming feeling of all these people care about me by being like, no, they don't. Yeah, they'll stop soon. This is temporary.

[B]

No, I don't think that's temporary. It might be, but then it's like a little.

[H]

But why does it.

[B]

Yeah, why does it matter if people come and go?

[G]

Right?

[B]

It doesn't.

[G]

So, like, I'm. Yeah, I'll appreciate you if you stay. Stop.

[B]

And I think there's, like, we don't realize that there is such a thing as, like, podcast fatigue and, like, people. You know, I'll see some people sometimes be like, oh, yeah, I haven't listened to PMT in forever. Then I started again. It's like, okay, cool. Like, I get it.

[D]

I wouldn't.

[G]

It's not you.

[B]

Yeah, well, you listen to someone for so long, you pick up like, you know, you pick up all their. The things you don't like about them. Then you. Then you make it bigger in your head. And then like, you know, oh, he says that. Or, oh, the way he says that. Like, I don't like that. It's like, all right, take a break.

[G]

You're the best at that.

[B]

I don't know.

[G]

Rolling through.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, obviously there's people who, like, despise me, but Is what it is. Then maybe they'll come back.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Tj, you still there?

[A]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Oh, what's up, tj? Tj.

[A]

How are we?

[B]

How's your vacation?

[G]

Charleston, South Carolina. It's been on my list.

[A]

Amazing place. I. I never. Never been. Folly beach is like, the perfect idyllic beach town. A lot of yak fans out there, too.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

Met a yak fan at Burt's Market. That said, he's an audio only listener

[B]

that listens every day while he drives a truck. Oh, that's awesome. He just drives a truck and listens to the act. That's awesome.

[G]

Is.

[B]

What a psycho.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I gotta maybe listen to an episode and just see how it. How it comes across. Maybe I will when I'm gone for Max's bachelor party, I'll. I'll tune into one episode. It's audio.

[G]

I could never.

[B]

I mean, there are a lot of episodes that we do where you could listen to it just straight audio.

[A]

He said he listened to the Mincy Pro day audio.

[B]

Now. That is crazy. That is crazy.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

That is the level of dedication. All right. I think I might. I don't want to. Do you have one, Kyle? We kind of have to go out.

[G]

I'm more worried that no one else is, like, stepping in.

[B]

I feel like we have to go.

[G]

We have established ourselves as this click

[J]

of how there's no one in this office that could let one rip right now.

[B]

I think I might have one goldfish. That was me. That was you? Yeah, that was me. I'm. I'm not leaving you, though.

[G]

Oh, no, you can leave.

[B]

No, no, no. I'm not leaving you. We gotta find someone. Yeah, that felt good.

[G]

That was.

[B]

Eat some goldfish.

[G]

Yeah, give me some.

[B]

You got another?

[G]

Not a real.

[B]

Where's Deutsch? Deutsch should be, like, number one in this. You're. Why?

[D]

Go.

[B]

Go round up people who can fart.

[J]

Yeah, I'm stuck. I farted. I farted twice, and they haven't made sound.

[B]

How are all these guys not farting? What if I do another one? Does that count?

[G]

That'll count for me.

[B]

Yeah, we're still here. All right, what if I get. What if I get. What if I get two for both of you? Oh, I can do this.

[D]

I got this.

[A]

I got this.

[G]

If you do that.

[B]

Yeah. All right, here we go. I'm gonna get two for Bloodman and kb.

[H]

I know you. You got one, dom.

[J]

You got. You got to try.

[D]

Who still needs one?

[J]

Three amigos.

[G]

Three.

[D]

Oh, big cat.

[J]

Got it.

[E]

Big I got it. Just two of us.

[G]

Me and liam.

[B]

Come on, cat. Yeah, we. Kyle and I just j far. Me and kb I farted. But I'm here for solidarity.

[G]

This one.

[E]

Who's that?

[F]

Nikki.

[B]

All right.

[J]

Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[G]

Who is that?

[E]

Unbelievable. That's a show?

[B]

Yes. All right, we'll see you over tomorrow.

[E]

That a boy, kaden. Let's go.

[B]

Shop or do a Yankee act. It's the act.

[G]

Love you guys.

[A]

See you tomorrow.

[H]

Bye.