We Learned Everything There Is To Know About Apples From An EXPERT: Wed Jul 29, 2026

Summary

The Yak - "We Learned Everything There Is To Know About Apples From An EXPERT"

Barstool Sports | July 29, 2026

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Overview of the Episode

In this lively installment of The Yak, hosts KB (Kyle Bauer), Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, and Big Cat gather for their signature blend of chaotic banter, rabbit holes, and pop culture commentary. Today’s central theme: an obsessive, hilarious deep dive into APPLES, featuring a passionate apple expert guest who uncovers fascinating facts, history, and rankings of apple varieties. The episode also veers into classic Yak territory, featuring Big Daddy Dave—a colorful Vegas character—plus a barstool office drama about recognition and credit in a New York Times article. The cast’s irreverent, quick-witted brand of humor is on full display, keeping the episode energetic and unpredictable.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Apple Industry Drama & "Big Apple" Gatekeeping (02:37–10:45)

• The crew discusses being snubbed by Jim Bair, President & CEO of the US Apple Association, who declined to appear on the show.
• Jokes about the power and secrecy of "Big Apple," comparing their treatment to mafia or Illuminati levels of gatekeeping.
• Obsessing over apples’ pivotal place in culture and history—Adam & Eve, Snow White, New York (The Big Apple), Apple Records, etc.
• Setting up Kate as a “honey pot” to infiltrate the apple scene.

Notable quote:
"'Not interested' is crazy." – Titus (04:47) "Apples belong to all of us. And this guy pretending like he owns Apple... that pisses me off." – Kyle (07:18)

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2. (Mostly) Useless Apple Facts and Fruit Banter (09:40–28:17)

• The group tries to recall and list all the types of apples and other fruits.
• Grappling (sometimes literally) with which fruits are the most popular or iconic—apples, bananas, oranges, tomatoes (as fruit!), grapes, etc.
• Spiraling into wild side tangents: smoking weed out of apples in college, gravity bongs, orange juice pulp preferences, the nutritional value (or lack thereof) of fruit, and the superior breakfast juice.

Notable moment:
Kyle: “If you get a good pair, forget it.” (21:42, about pears, not pears of people)

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3. Interview: Brian (The Apple Rankings Guy) (33:15–56:55)

• Brian, creator of AppleRankings.com, joins as the “world’s #1 apple ranker.”
• Reveals he got into apples because he hated “pig trash” Red Delicious, until a Sweet Tango apple changed his life (36:00).
• Explains:
  • There are thousands of named apple varieties.
  • Most apples in stores aren't bred from seed, but by cloning (grafting), so every Honeycrisp or Macintosh is genetically identical to the original tree. (46:31)
  • The Cosmic Crisp is the latest marketing marvel apple, industry-backed. (40:08–41:06)
  • Arkansa Black is the "worst apple": "teeth-shattering oddity," "burgundy skee ball," “like biting into an uncooked russet potato.” (37:12)
  • The apple originated in Kazakhstan, not America. (44:04)
• Discusses apple industry rivalries, personal influence as an "apple consultant," and even receiving death threats over controversial rankings.
• Gives apple advice to Kate, who finds apple crunch painful.
• Rants against pears: “The pear... it’s a disgrace... inedible rock to liquid pile of mud covered in brown spots.” (50:06), but recommends Macintosh for those who dislike crunchy apples.

Notable Quotes:
"I am the world’s number one apple ranker. I am better than the other two guys that do this." – Brian (34:18)

"If you took a seed from a Honeycrisp, you won't get a Honeycrisp tree. Apples are extreme heterozygotes; every seed creates a new variety." – Brian (45:13)

"An apple is an unbroken chain that allows you to share a meal with your ancestors." – Brian (47:34)

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4. Guest Roulette: Big Daddy Dave, the Vegas Legend (61:35–76:01)

• Big Daddy Dave, self-styled Vegas playboy, regales the crew with his philosophy: only nines and tens, life is about money, nightclubs, liquor, and women, never “settling for less."
• Shares his daily routine, confidence in rejection, and dedication to his personal brand.
• Admits to being "retired and self-employed”—hints at a mysterious past.
• Blunt, controversial, and unapologetic, providing comic relief and discomfort.
• Admits he’s not a wingman and prefers operating solo, dismissing average women and traditional dating.

Notable Quotes:
“I only deal. I’m only going to deal with nines and tens.” – Big Daddy Dave (62:38)
"My whole life to get this money and I got a big penis." – Big Daddy Dave (74:45)

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5. Barstool Office Drama & the New York Times Article Squeeze (90:01–108:19)

• Mikey Betts laments being snubbed in a New York Times piece about Frank “The Tank”'s walks, despite playing an essential behind-the-scenes role.
• The team investigates whether Frank or the journalist (Sam Blum) is to blame; they manage to get Frank on a call (96:03) for an awkward confrontation.
• The tension between seeking credit and staying loyal to Frank is palpable—Betts is clearly frustrated but tries to keep his cool.
• Dreams up getting a journalist to write a Yak article featuring Mikey Betts endlessly, for poetic justice.

Notable quote:
"You work your ass off for this guy, always ungrateful, and then nothing. It's his day, I'm happy for him—it's a mix of emotions, but also a slap in the face." – Mikey Betts (108:05)

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6. Rapid-fire Banter, Office Life, and Miscellaneous Yak Moments (Throughout)

• Jabber about Pokémon cards, tripods, and random Barstool events.
• Jokes about Olive Garden as purgatory, and recurring gags about office personalities and podcast credits.
• Closing out, previewing future guests, and plotting more Yak madness.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Apples belong to all of us. And this guy pretending like he owns Apple... that pisses me off." – Kyle (07:18)
• "If you took a seed from a Honeycrisp, you won't get a Honeycrisp tree. Apples are extreme heterozygotes." – Brian (45:13)
• "The Cosmic Crisp is quite literally an industry plant." – Brian (40:08)
• "I only deal with nines and tens." – Big Daddy Dave (62:38)
• "An apple is an unbroken chain that allows you to share a meal with your ancestors." – Brian (47:34)
• "I got a mullet and once I give it a flip, it's over." – Big Daddy Dave (71:30)
• “He’s just passionate about being a terrible human.” – Dana on Big Daddy Dave (78:22)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Apple Industry Gatekeeping: 02:37–10:45
• Fruit Banter & Apple Obsession: 09:40–28:17
• Brian the Apple Expert Interview: 33:15–56:55
• Big Daddy Dave, Vegas Legend: 61:35–76:01
• NYT Article Office Drama: 90:01–108:19

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Tone & Style Notes

• The Yak’s energy is loose, punchy, and self-referential; expect frequent inside jokes, interruptions, and good-natured ribbing.
• Discussion style ranges from rapid-fire group improvisation to surprisingly deep, sincere moments (esp. with Brian, the apple expert).
• Guests run the gamut from eccentric subject-matter gurus to outlandish Vegas characters, each met with a mix of skepticism, awe, and comic undermining.

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For New Listeners

This episode embodies the pure spirit of The Yak: a mash-up of wild curiosity (apples, believe it or not, are fascinating), personalities in their element, and office intrigue. You’ll leave both amused and surprisingly informed—just don’t expect anyone to stay on topic for long.

Transcript

[Titus]

Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Brandon]

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[Steve]

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[Titus]

I'm the coolest one out of all of us.

[Big Daddy Dave]

That was incredible.

[Brandon]

Hello, It's a yak. Welcome in Stella Blue Coffee dot com. We're in seven 11s now. You can buy it. You can buy the four packs online as well. Amazon Stella Blue Coffee dot com ready to drink canned lattes. All of it. Stella Blue Coffee dot com saving some dogs. Hello everyone.

[Dana]

Hello.

[Kyle]

Tried to make his nickname seven eleven. Oh is because he's seven feet tall.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Eleven.

[Kate]

Eleven inch.

[Titus]

No way.

[Kyle]

Hey, true story Greg. That's what he's telling people.

[Brandon]

So I'd be like so. Oh, I'd be my height six two.

[Nick]

Yeah,

[Kyle]

that's what it say but he'd be saying a lot of so you don't really. No, I never actually measured it.

[Dana]

Oh no you. You didn't. No better man than me.

[Brandon]

Dana's here. Brandon's out. Kate, I have some bad News.

[Nick]

What?

[Brandon]

We're out on the USA pole.

[Nick]

Are they out on us? Is that what happened again?

[Brandon]

We asked the guy, the head of the U.S. uSA popol to come on the show and he said no thanks. Oh, them you're not.

[Titus]

Oh, wait a minute. Apple seems to be a powerful enemy.

[Brandon]

I don't know if I don't care this tree dude. I just learned that there's different types of peaches.

[Kate]

We're good.

[Titus]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Brandon]

Nectarine and peach.

[Titus]

So we're an anti Apple show.

[Brandon]

We might have to be apples. That's like, why would that guy say no to coming on I Apple?

[Titus]

Like, are they going to get more popular?

[Brandon]

Oh, he's siding with Big Apple. They're Apple or something. Siding with Big Apple.

[Dana]

This isn't spokesman for apples.

[Jay]

It is.

[Dana]

He just has an Apple blog.

[Brandon]

No, really good talking about the guy.

[Nick]

Not the comedian apple guy.

[Brandon]

I'm not talking about the guy who I think we might have on who does the rankings.

[Nick]

The people at Big Apple.

[Dana]

Oh, the.

[Brandon]

I'm talking about that face. Jim Bear.

[Titus]

Jim bear, president and CEO of the U.S. apple Association.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Let me get eyes on this guy.

[Brandon]

B A I R. Why? Dude, why not? Come on. Or at least come up with an excuse.

[Titus]

Yeah, because all the people would boycott apples if he he appeared on a barstool program.

[Brandon]

But also the way he said it. He said thanks, but not interested. Oh, that's rude, Jim. That's rude, buddy. That's a rude piece of move. Like just say thanks, but I got a lot going on right now. Maybe I can circle back later.

[Titus]

Not interested is crazy.

[Brandon]

Not interested.

[Titus]

So, Kate, we're gonna need you to infiltrate from the inside.

[Nick]

I mean, I already feel like they're a little big for their britches. Like they're at the Ritz.

[Brandon]

You might have to honey pot Jim Bear and break up his marriage.

[Nick]

Okay, let me go from a 5 to a 10.

[Kyle]

How you like them?

[Jay]

What was the scale? Not 100.

[Nick]

Oh, but really? Oh, good one, daddy.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's crazy, Jim Bear. What the fuck, dude?

[Dana]

Yeah, I, I, I get it.

[Brandon]

No, see, what do you do?

[Nick]

What do you mean you get it?

[Brandon]

What does guys do?

[Dana]

Dude, I think apples are above us. Yeah, we're talking about apples.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

But hold on.

[Brandon]

He's not. The guy isn't an apple.

[Kyle]

He didn't invent apple. Yeah, yeah, but he what gives him the right. I like apples just as much as

[Brandon]

he does, but he's just an elected guy. Just no, you don't to talk about apples.

[Nick]

Not to make A cider pun. But we gave apples a lot of free press yesterday.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Stoles on to apples.

[Titus]

Honestly, there's probably one guy that's like, wait, what are you. Yeah, I got to try.

[Kyle]

You think Jim. You think Jim Bear likes apples more than me? Nick?

[Titus]

Yes.

[Brandon]

I don't think so.

[Kyle]

I don't think. I think Jim Bear likes power more.

[Nick]

I think he uses apples.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

What is. Has he ever done interviews before? Who's Jimmy Shy.

[Mikey Betts]

Okay.

[Brandon]

President, CEO of Apple.

[Dana]

But what. It's us. Apple. What do they do?

[Brandon]

Oh, he is the one who goes to Congress.

[Nick]

Yes. I heard from a guy who's adjacent to Big Blueberry yesterday. He said they wield a lot of power. He said, like, seriously, dude, this guy

[Brandon]

doesn't even like apples. He likes money.

[Kyle]

He likes.

[Brandon]

He likes money and power.

[Kyle]

That's all he likes.

[Brandon]

You guys are fucking. You're.

[Titus]

I'm.

[Kyle]

I don't like.

[Titus]

I'm a coward. I don't. Do you know how powerful apples are?

[Brandon]

You could grow it in your backyard.

[Nick]

Hello.

[Brandon]

Can't stop you from doing that.

[Nick]

Adam and Eve.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you didn't think about that.

[Titus]

They're. The apples are the reason we have to wear clothes.

[Nick]

Apples up. The lady in Snow White. Apples up. Eve apples. I'm just saying, we don't want to

[Titus]

make an end, but they're also responsible for gravity.

[Kyle]

What was the lady in Snow White's name?

[Titus]

Did you say the lady in Snow White?

[Dana]

All right, well, you were talking about Snow White.

[Brandon]

Mrs. White.

[Dana]

The lady in snow.

[Brandon]

Well, that's funny.

[Kyle]

Lady.

[Brandon]

I. I don't know. I.

[Kyle]

We're just.

[Brandon]

Listen, I. Maybe I just have too much pride for what we do here.

[Big Daddy Dave]

That.

[Brandon]

That someone.

[Titus]

I'll do this.

[Brandon]

No, I. Listen, you guys are gonna kneel down to. To Big Apple. Titus and I will continue to carry the mantle for this.

[Jay]

I'll never eat an apple again. Yeah.

[Brandon]

One proud show and be like, hey, you don't say you to us. We say, I think.

[Kyle]

I think so. There are times where people say no to us. And I'm like, that might make some.

[Brandon]

Totally makes sense.

[Kyle]

I think my problem is that apples belong to all of us. And this guy pretending like he owns Apple.

[Brandon]

Correct.

[Kyle]

That pisses me off.

[Brandon]

And it's. Their convention is in two weeks in Chicago, Right? Like, if their convention was in Florida, it's like, dude, what's the connection here? I don't really understand. You guys are going to like, no. And I don't think we make fun of people. We have a good time with them. We've got a. A treasure trove of guests that we've.

[Titus]

This. I. I think every guest we've had has shined a positive spotlight on what they're doing.

[Nick]

Big Tortilla was fun.

[Brandon]

Yes. Big Tortilla played along. We need more of this. In this world.

[Titus]

They've gone the way of sporal Con.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Not Jim Bear and his.

[Titus]

What?

[Steve]

This is going to be a pretty full circle moment right now.

[Brandon]

What?

[Steve]

We're talking to the wrong guy.

[Nick]

What?

[Brandon]

Well, we got a chair.

[Kyle]

Oh, we gotta get

[Dana]

together.

[Titus]

Wait a minute.

[Dana]

He's from Yakima.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Let's go.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God. We gotta get.

[Titus]

And thank God we know now that the chair is way more powerful.

[Brandon]

And let's get Steve Smith to fire Jim Bear.

[Titus]

We could do that.

[Nick]

A coup. An app.

[Brandon]

Oh, yes.

[Kyle]

Phil Glaze.

[Titus]

That's my two favorite ways of finishing.

[Nick]

That's a pie.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh.

[Brandon]

All right. We gotta get. We gotta get Steve Smith.

[Dana]

He'll say yes.

[Nick]

He looked more fun.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Stephen, way to save it, because I was about to say some nasty stuff about Jim Bear. Yeah.

[Titus]

Jim Bear is powerless.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Also, I know stoolies, no apples, but we did introduce stoolies to, like, 20 different. More kinds of apples.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Mikey Betts]

Right.

[Titus]

I think people think there's four apples, maybe.

[Brandon]

And I bet you there was at least one guy watching this show who's like, what is this apple thing?

[Titus]

Oh, yeah, it was.

[Brandon]

Brandon never had a fruit.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Imagine people being like, barstool ruined apples for me.

[Brandon]

Oh, man.

[Nick]

Burning your apples.

[Brandon]

I would love for some Apple people to protest that Kate is going to Apple.

[Nick]

I was looking at Apple dresses this morning and Apple earrings and Apple. I was like, what if I wore a big Apple?

[Titus]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Do you know what Dave Porter said about skinny jeans? We can't let her here. Oh, man. All right, let's go. We'll try to get Steve.

[Kyle]

Steve Smith.

[Titus]

And if, like, that falls through, we have to switch fruits.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I think we. I think we corner the market as something that doesn't get it. Like, maybe we become the Plum show. You know, something that doesn't get a lot of shine.

[Kate]

Let's.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Let's.

[Dana]

Let's shoot for apple.

[Brandon]

I know, but I'm saying, like, I don't want to let everyone down. We got to.

[Titus]

We got to have a back William Tell ass.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Apple's been throughout history.

[Kyle]

It is.

[Titus]

It's a powerful fruit.

[Brandon]

Johnny Appleseed.

[Titus]

I mean, the gravity, the apple.

[Kyle]

What is apple?

[Nick]

How do you like them?

[Brandon]

The Beatles were Apple records.

[Titus]

Oh, my God.

[Nick]

New York City is The big Apple.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Apple from the Black Eyed Peas Apple D app.

[Titus]

Yeah, that's right.

[Nick]

Apple bottom jeans.

[Jay]

Oh, man.

[Titus]

Apple. I believe that's him.

[Mikey Betts]

That's.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Oh, people smoke out of apples.

[Titus]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

There you go.

[Brandon]

Dana. Dana's here.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Titus]

We're naming some of the most pivotal moments in history.

[Kyle]

Didn't say a word until that was

[Titus]

your first word of the show.

[Brandon]

Way to go, Dana.

[Kate]

I was moving yesterday. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. We're an apple. I'm just out of this conversation completely. Continue. I don't know.

[Brandon]

We just got deep into apple.

[Kate]

I know I'm out of the loop on this one. I'm just going to let you guys cook.

[Brandon]

It's standard yak fair where we just get so obsessed with one thing for a day, and then we just forget about it.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Could apple stop us if we're like, we are the Apple show. Could Apple, like, cease and assist us?

[Brandon]

No.

[Titus]

Apple. The computer.

[Nick]

No, the. Oh, I didn't think about that.

[Titus]

No, no, I, I, I'm with. Apples are for the people.

[Big Daddy Dave]

They're for the people.

[Kyle]

They always have.

[Brandon]

They're for the people.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

An apple a day keeps a doctor away.

[Kyle]

If Jim Bear has his way, they'll be for Jim Bear.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

And whoever he decides gets apples.

[Kate]

What's the movie? Oh, Matt Damon and Rob. Robin Williams.

[Titus]

How do you like them?

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah, there you go.

[Nick]

The Hollywood thing.

[Brandon]

You know, two for two. That apple that Dana made to smoke some really shitty in the woods.

[Titus]

17 next to that bog.

[Brandon]

Shout out that apple.

[Titus]

Pre Assal. Apple.

[Brandon]

Dana hasn't eaten an apple since

[Nick]

I

[Kate]

was more of a.

[Brandon]

You hand Dana an apple and then you look. You, like, look away, and then you look back and somebody drugged his hole in it.

[Kate]

I was more of a soda can guy.

[Titus]

Smoking soda.

[Kate]

Cow.

[Brandon]

You know what I was. Toilet paper roll.

[Big Daddy Dave]

What?

[Titus]

I didn't know you could do it.

[Brandon]

Sorry. Paper towel roll. You cut the little thing at the end. Like you cut a hole in the end. And then you put a little tin foil. Oh, and you poke some holes in the tin foil.

[Titus]

You made like a hookah.

[Brandon]

Yeah, basically like a big. Yeah, big crack pipe.

[Titus]

Nice. I didn't know you could do that.

[Brandon]

And then what you do, too, is you. So you do paper towel roll to smoke it. And then you would put some dryer sheets. Dryer sheets in the, in the toilet paper roll. And you blow the smoke through that so it wouldn't smell.

[Nick]

You think my RA won't know I'm smoking Weed in my toilet.

[Brandon]

Always. It just smelled like weed and laundry.

[Titus]

It was just a strong laundered weed.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jay]

The gravity bong.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God.

[Titus]

Wow.

[Jay]

Kids just have the pen now. They don't have to go.

[Brandon]

I. I would like to say that I have not taken my last gravity bong hit, but I probably have. But I. I would like to at some point.

[Titus]

Buddy.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

It you up?

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Kate]

That led me to one of the, like, I want to go to the hospital. Oh, yeah.

[Titus]

All my mom fess up that I smoked weed.

[Kate]

Nope.

[Brandon]

You ever do one in the bathtub?

[Titus]

No.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's fun.

[Big Daddy Dave]

No.

[Dana]

Like with water.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

No.

[Mikey Betts]

You.

[Brandon]

What are you talking about? You know, I don't know.

[Dana]

I didn't get into weed until I was 30.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah. Gravity bong is the like, you get like a 2 liter bottle and you. You do the tin foil and you like slowly pull it up like over a big thing of water and then you smoke it.

[Kate]

It's an insane amount of smoke.

[Brandon]

It's so much smoke. Too much smoke.

[Dana]

So me personally, I love it. I think it's the best. And I love the feeling. When you guys were kids and smoking, what were you. What were you feeling and doing?

[Jay]

Weed was shittier, which was kind of better.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Shitty weed was better. It's kind of wouldn't get that high.

[Kate]

I would. I would probably. I'd go like overboard and get like, too high.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Where you can't really move.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Titus]

That's why I hated gravity bombs. Because you couldn't fake it.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah. No, it would.

[Titus]

I would take. I would take off plays all the time when we were just spoken of like a joint. The gravity bong shoots. Just India and you. It was panic.

[Brandon]

Just laugh with your friends.

[Nick]

Hot boxing and old ultima.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick]

With stranger older men.

[Brandon]

Nothing like catching the giggles with your friends.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Jay]

We had random drug testing, and it was typically like only once or twice a year. So you'd see people in the line.

[Brandon]

Did you go to high school with the NFL? What?

[Jay]

Yeah, same Pat.

[Kate]

All boys.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jay]

But then you'd see other people getting drug tested in the line. Big, all right, we're smoking later tonight.

[Kate]

Oh.

[Titus]

Because you got it out of the way.

[Kate]

It's nice.

[Brandon]

That is like the NFL because they test like ours was hair too. I'm pretty sure if you're not in the drug program in the NFL, they just test you once a year. And it's either like the first week of camp or the second week of camp. And so guys would like Be pissed. If they had to wait all the way to the second week of camp like this.

[Titus]

I had to do it for other jobs. Like fill up a cup. And then I got pissed.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Shamed.

[Titus]

She was like, is that all? I could barely fill up the cup that they gave me.

[Jay]

Oh, I thought you said come.

[Titus]

No, no,

[Brandon]

I remember the, well, the, you hated that episode, the life insurance episode. And I, my, my piss was hot. They came back and they're like, what are you doing?

[Titus]

Scorching hot.

[Brandon]

It was like it hit like six red flags. What's going on here?

[Titus]

Really hot piss. Shit.

[Kate]

I, I failed my life insurance. Not failed, but I did. Really bad at it because I was very honest with them.

[Brandon]

Yeah, right. You can't be honest.

[Kate]

Yeah. Do you smoke cigarettes? I was like, when I'm drunk. Yeah. Ding.

[Titus]

How often are you drunk exactly? Every day.

[Kate]

And they were just like, yeah, you have a really bad price now.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Bullshit. You got to, you got to, you have to lie.

[Titus]

You have to fudge.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Nick]

That's my recruiter for the military was like, I told him everything. And he was like, okay, here's the thing you got to do. You have to lie about everything. And then about three weeks into boot camp and he warned me about this, they're going to come and pull you aside. They like pull people aside one by one and they're like, are you sure you don't have anything to tell us? And if it turns out you lied, like, you get in like big, big trouble or whatever. And I almost broke. Of course I could remember. I was like, but wait, should I, should I? Whatever. I was like the perfect target, but I kept my mouth shut.

[Dana]

You always lie to anyone except the FBI.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Is that the rule?

[Nick]

Is that the rule?

[Dana]

Either liar, don't tell the truth to anyone who's not the feds.

[Jay]

I had to give a P test or for some job I was applying for and there was a guy in front of me and they were like, how often you drink? He's like, never. And they're like, ever. He's like, I never had a drink in my life. It was like a 60 year old black man. Like, sir, you've never had a drink in your life? He's like, nope, I only do drugs,

[Titus]

Titus. I'm sorry. Mostly. Numbers were near zero today.

[Kyle]

Why?

[Titus]

I'm sorry.

[Kyle]

What happened?

[Titus]

He's got beat.

[Kyle]

I, I, we can, yeah, we got cannibalized.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah. I knew about this show.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Oh, and I don't, I mean, like, I, I, it's A hit. Brandon. Brandon likes to, you know, get upset about. And I do my best to kind of like, you know, I support everybody that works here and everything like that. And I, you know, sometimes shows are going to happen during our show and whatever, but I thought them dropping the trailer for the. For the new show during mostly sports was kind of a act of war.

[Titus]

It was what it was for a shot.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Direct shot.

[Brandon]

What?

[Kyle]

A trailer could drop it anytime. Right after they dropped this, our stream actually went down.

[Brandon]

Welcome to Poor Decisions show.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Talking all things Kansas City sports, Chicago

[Big Daddy Dave]

sports, college sports, and the entire sports world.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

But that's not all.

[Big Daddy Dave]

This is a bit different than just a regular show. We run on a monthly schedule.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

And at the end of every single

[Big Daddy Dave]

month, we will go on a trip.

[Brandon]

The location or event will be randomly

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

selected as well as our mode of transportation. Will it be a car, a plane,

[Brandon]

or even a train?

[Big Daddy Dave]

On top of that, we will have two weeks to complete said challenge.

[Titus]

And they're not sleeping in the next room.

[Big Daddy Dave]

The punishment, we still will be spun.

[Dana]

Greg, Every single step of the way

[Brandon]

will be documented through social media for you to follow along.

[Titus]

This could be the beginning of something really special.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Or just a poor decision.

[Kate]

Greg looks pretty hot.

[Nick]

Poor decision.

[Dana]

All right, Greg.

[Kyle]

Poor decision.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Titus]

I love it.

[Brandon]

I don't get how many. Wait, how many takes did it take Greg to do that? That's what I wanted.

[Kyle]

Hundreds.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Also, I love that they're doing this show. Explain to me in a second sentence. What?

[Kyle]

Well, these are two guys talking ball.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Kyle]

But they're not like those other guys, okay? These guys, they're going to an event

[Brandon]

once a month and you got something, a sporting event.

[Kate]

PE decisions.

[Brandon]

You forgot something big. Everyone's been like, we need more Kansas City sports.

[Nick]

True.

[Titus]

I think that'll just be his bread and butter. He'll be talking more broad.

[Kyle]

It's for all the people that lived in Chicago and moved to Kansas City.

[Brandon]

Or vice versa.

[Kyle]

Or vice versa.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

There are a lot of. It's like.

[Brandon]

Or even people who just are aware where those two cities are.

[Titus]

Listen.

[Dana]

But no, they do Kansas City sports, Chicago sports, and all sports.

[Brandon]

That's true. That's true.

[Nick]

So it's mostly sports.

[Titus]

I mean, are we not. Oh.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God. What the. Great.

[Titus]

But are we not more excited for more, Greg?

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah, I'll watch him travel anywhere. No, I'm pumped for them.

[Dana]

For fucking working.

[Nick]

No, making fun. No, no.

[Dana]

Poking fun, Greg.

[Nick]

I'm saying poking fun, but I would actually watch him go anywhere.

[Kate]

I'm A green believer.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate]

And a Burnsy believer.

[Kyle]

That's right.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I'd like to see more burns. I'm excited for. See what they got.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

That's his office, Greg. That green room.

[Kyle]

That's his office.

[Dana]

Yes.

[Kyle]

He has his own office.

[Kate]

He has an office.

[Brandon]

And that's Bernie's office, too.

[Kate]

That's the green. Yeah.

[Titus]

Reese's Room.

[Kyle]

Reese's Lounge.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I love Greg.

[Kate]

I love Greg. I mean, I believe in the boys.

[Kyle]

Outside of the people who actually voted for him to win Barstool Idol, I'm probably his biggest fan.

[Brandon]

Oh, man. Good for them. Steve is at a fruit and vegetable show today. Okay.

[Dana]

Steve Smith.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Steve Smith. Oh, all right.

[Titus]

He's had a fruit and vegetable show.

[Brandon]

That's a very good excuse.

[Kyle]

Yes, that's fine.

[Titus]

That's where I'd expect him. I'm not an enemy.

[Brandon]

Jim Bear is probably watching the yak right now.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Doing nothing.

[Titus]

Probably counting his money.

[Brandon]

H. Disgusting.

[Kate]

Are there any fat people on that board?

[Titus]

That's a good question.

[Brandon]

Yeah, let's. Body shame.

[Kate]

Not fat, ugly.

[Dana]

Pounding fruit is a fat.

[Kate]

Everyone looks.

[Brandon]

Brett Baker could lose a

[Titus]

Is the past.

[Brandon]

This is what you had.

[Big Daddy Dave]

This is the idea you had.

[Nick]

Right.

[Kyle]

Go ahead, Dana. Whenever you're ready, Dana.

[Big Daddy Dave]

See?

[Jay]

Oh.

[Brandon]

All right, Patrick, let's go. Okay.

[Kate]

Well, it's. If you're on the board of apples, like, you know, you're probably. You're probably in pretty good shape.

[Brandon]

Oh, these look like very good shape.

[Kate]

Yeah. All right.

[Brandon]

Although you would like one guy who's shaped like an apple.

[Titus]

I would like.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Just is a. Yeah, a tone setter.

[Nick]

If you're a big pair and you got a nice pear shaped body.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Body.

[Kyle]

We didn't talk much about pears yesterday.

[Brandon]

Pear bodies are hilarious.

[Kyle]

I like pears.

[Brandon]

You see?

[Dana]

I do like pears.

[Kyle]

Pears are good. We didn't talk much about them, but

[Nick]

if you get a good pair, forget it.

[Brandon]

That might be my favorite, like, body type is the guy, like a guy who's like, super. His face is skinny, his, like, upper half is skinny, and they just got a fat everything.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Titus]

I'm trying to think of an example.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I have an example. But he passed away.

[Titus]

Oh, yeah. They typically do.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

This has me, you know, Danny, I don't want to say no,

[Jay]

no.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I got a priming set. But he passed away, so we can.

[Nick]

I have a guy who passed away with a weird bottom. Did you see that picture of. He dated Yoko Ono.

[Titus]

John Leonard.

[Brandon]

Have you ever heard of God?

[Jay]

First the lady from Snow White. Now the guy from the Beatles.

[Titus]

The butt cracks.

[Nick]

It could have.

[Titus]

Yes, his butt crack is out. That was edited. That was edited. He did have a long ass crack.

[Nick]

I've God never seen. I saw that last night for the first time in it.

[Titus]

But she also had a short one.

[Nick]

She had a very short crack.

[Kyle]

Is it John Lennon?

[Titus]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Well, yes, there's actually John Lennon.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

It's not like.

[Dana]

It's not like the other man of the John Lennon.

[Nick]

There's a few famous Beatles and Yoko Ono dated. I didn't know which one she dated, but I knew in the picture she was in the picture.

[Jay]

How long ago did he die?

[Nick]

I don't know if you can show how long is.

[Titus]

No, it's. It's miles.

[Brandon]

Maybe a year or two ago.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

We can't do it.

[Jay]

If apple is undisputed. One, one most popular fruit. What's two and how far behind is it?

[Dana]

Apples are, I would say the most iconic. I don't know if they're the most eaten or purchased.

[Brandon]

The most historically significant.

[Dana]

But, yeah, bananas would be bananas or oranges.

[Kyle]

I think bananas.

[Dana]

Bananas are more popular.

[Nick]

Well, which fruits are most versatile?

[Titus]

You think bananas are more popular?

[Dana]

I think bananas are more eaten and purchased.

[Titus]

But I think if you did a man on the street, Dana.

[Dana]

Apples. Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

No.

[Titus]

And you said name a fruit.

[Dana]

I think apple's it.

[Titus]

I think apple started nothing.

[Dana]

Apple is to fruit as nothing else is to their category.

[Brandon]

It's also like the. Like, a Alphabet book. It's always a is for apple. Think about that.

[Kyle]

It owns the entire letter.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Like Z is zebra. There's a couple.

[Titus]

Xylophone has the. Yeah, yeah, Xylophone. I think quilt.

[Jay]

Always orange a lot.

[Mikey Betts]

You're not gonna like the answer for

[Titus]

most eaten fruit in the world.

[Dana]

Oh, in the world. That's a different story. Coconut.

[Brandon]

Is it Cody again?

[Titus]

Everybody's. Wait a minute.

[Jay]

Is it gonna be like Barry?

[Kyle]

What about.

[Dana]

Why would I like. Is it lemon or lime?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

It's gonna be like. Oh, that answer.

[Brandon]

Oh, hold on, hold on.

[Nick]

I'm not gonna like it.

[Titus]

Oh, is it like grape? Because it's small?

[Dana]

I think.

[Kyle]

I think grapes. I think grapes.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Historically, most consumed product by weight over

[Titus]

180 million metric tons per year.

[Brandon]

Is there something weird like potato is a fruit.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Avocado, tomato, tomato

[Titus]

that and then bananas.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Kyle.

[Brandon]

But tomato makes sense when you think about, like, pizza and everything.

[Nick]

Well, watermelon. If we're doing weight, that's.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

Bruschetta.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Bruschetta salsa.

[Kyle]

After all that in bad comedians

[Nick]

that party in Italy,

[Kyle]

I think grapes have been around for a while. Grapes have. I don't know if you can tell the story of human history without grapes. I think that was like.

[Titus]

But apples in the first human story.

[Kyle]

I'm not saying grapes over apples. I'm saying apples. Hall of fame. They're already in.

[Kate]

You guys talk the other fruits. Juice.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Huh?

[Kate]

Huh?

[Brandon]

Apple juice.

[Titus]

I mean, ketchup. We were getting into the Old testament

[Kyle]

juice. Oh, we know we didn't.

[Kate]

Because apple juice is, I think, the far superior.

[Brandon]

Oh, yes.

[Kate]

Juice.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Orange is up there. Orange juice is pretty high up there.

[Titus]

Orange has the monopoly on breakfast.

[Brandon]

A freshly squeezed orange juice.

[Titus]

Come on.

[Dana]

Apple's way better.

[Kyle]

I think apple.

[Kate]

I don't like pulp, dude.

[Kyle]

I think kids. I think kids took over apple juice too much. I think it's like.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah, it's baby.

[Kyle]

It became baby shit.

[Brandon]

You don't like pulp? Fuck Pulpit your child.

[Kate]

Yeah, I know.

[Brandon]

Okay. It's good that we cleared that up.

[Dana]

I'm with you.

[Kate]

Yeah, pulp is. It's.

[Brandon]

Oh, I like to taste my oranges.

[Kyle]

Some pulp. Yeah, you get a little pulp.

[Kate]

I could do some pulp, but actually like extra pulp. If you're. If you're going extra pulp, I got

[Kyle]

a problem with you. Call them out.

[Titus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get them. Do you want to get them?

[Kyle]

Look at the camera.

[Brandon]

I think it's more hardcore.

[Kate]

It is.

[Kyle]

You're the.

[Kate]

I don't like.

[Brandon]

You're the.

[Kyle]

You're the.

[Kate]

I am, but I don't.

[Brandon]

You need the thing that you're a.

[Dana]

For not wanting a bunch of hair and you're.

[Kate]

Yes. Thank you, Kyle.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

What do you guys like about pulp?

[Brandon]

Oh, I like. I like.

[Dana]

What's your top three favorite things about pulp? The taste. You love the taste.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Would you eat.

[Dana]

Would you eat pulp individually?

[Brandon]

How it makes me feel.

[Dana]

A bowl of pole makes you feel good. Makes you feel strong coming down your throat.

[Titus]

It feels real. It feels like a real juice.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

It makes me feel like I'm being healthier.

[Kate]

Right?

[Titus]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

It's skim orange juice.

[Dana]

The marketing for fruit is insane because it's built as like this. The ultimate. It's the epitome of health. If you eat fruit, it's not.

[Brandon]

No, I. I don't think it is. Veggies.

[Dana]

It's a veggie. If you eat a bunch of fruit, you're disgusting.

[Brandon]

Well, come on.

[Nick]

What's that show like? My five.

[Dana]

Fruit tastes great. The fruit tastes like candy.

[Nick]

You see the My. That show where that doctor in Texas has always given them the bypass and they lose a ton of weight. And there was one where the patient. They're like, we don't see any rappers. We don't know. Whatever. But they keep gaining weight. Turns out they were eating, like, 75 clementines a day or something like that. They were eating, like.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Nick]

An insane amount of fruit, and they were gaining a lot of weight back.

[Kyle]

Sugar.

[Kate]

How did the fruit. How did the fruit talk start?

[Kyle]

Did it start?

[Titus]

Really good question, Stephen.

[Mikey Betts]

Stephen. Cha.

[Brandon]

Because on Sunday, I was tasked to go get peaches, and I came back with a shitload of nectarine.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Kate]

I've never had a nectarine. I've had tangerines.

[Brandon]

You've had a nectarine.

[Titus]

Don't do that. We're not doing this,

[Brandon]

dude.

[Kate]

No, you're right.

[Kyle]

I've had.

[Kate]

I've had a nectar.

[Brandon]

I think you win.

[Titus]

That's a broken man.

[Brandon]

No, no, no. I think you've accidentally had, like. It's the same thing as a piece. Just. It just doesn't have the fur on.

[Kate]

Always has the fur.

[Brandon]

Not nectarines.

[Kate]

Exactly. I'm always.

[Titus]

You wouldn't know.

[Kate]

You're always.

[Titus]

You're always eating fur.

[Kyle]

All right, Dana.

[Titus]

Different strokes, brother.

[Kyle]

Good for you,

[Titus]

Dana. You're doing food combos now?

[Kate]

Yeah, I've had a couple of those episodes. Some I'm trying to branch out. Branch out of. Dana. Tries to. I had. I did, like, weird people's food combinations.

[Brandon]

The first one, I thought you were just eating different flavors of combos. That would be very you.

[Kate]

Someone.

[Nick]

Definitely.

[Kate]

I got a lot of submissions saying peanut butter and pickle sandwich.

[Brandon]

Ew, gross.

[Kate]

It was fine.

[Brandon]

What about peanut butter and banana sandwich? That's delicious.

[Kate]

That's. I mean, that's. Yeah, that's great. I did peas and. Peas and ketchup.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Ew.

[Jay]

Are people just with you?

[Dana]

It's like, oh, that's lunchtime dare, baby.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Prison food.

[Titus]

Are they proving it to you that they have.

[Dana]

They like.

[Kyle]

Like,

[Kate]

I have a whole. I got, like, 3,000 DMS with all the. Yeah, that's probably some people with me,

[Titus]

but have you made the sandwich Elvis was addicted to? Well, you would love.

[Brandon]

I was peanut butter and bacon, Right?

[Titus]

Peanut butter, bacon, and marshmallow or something.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick]

And it was, like, cooked like a grilled cheese.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Titus]

With like, two a day.

[Kate]

I'll do that.

[Brandon]

I think that's how he died.

[Kyle]

That's toilet.

[Kate]

I mean, to be fair, I'm probably on this. On the Elvis track with what I eat.

[Titus]

That's a fine.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Bacon.

[Titus]

Not with stardom or.

[Kate]

No, just size lifestyle.

[Brandon]

That is a delicious looking sandwich. It's got everything. Got some crunch, got some salt, got some sweet.

[Titus]

Yeah, it probably is great. Oh, fool's gold loaf.

[Brandon]

What's that?

[Titus]

That's Elvis's sandwich, right?

[Nick]

That also is jelly.

[Kyle]

Fool's gold sandwich.

[Brandon]

Oh, I've eaten there before.

[Nick]

A whole jar.

[Brandon]

Oh my God.

[Titus]

A whole jar of jelly.

[Nick]

Pound of bacon.

[Titus]

Pound of bacon.

[Kate]

Yeah, I'm gonna have to do that.

[Titus]

This is a Wikipedia for one sandwich at one restaurant.

[Brandon]

Damn.

[Titus]

It's Elvis's sandwich.

[Kyle]

Holy boys. Just killing those in The Jungle Room.

[Brandon]

8,000 calories.

[Titus]

Dana, you gotta do it.

[Kate]

Beers. All right, fine.

[Nick]

He and his friends took a private jet and ate 22 of those.

[Brandon]

Oh my gosh.

[Jay]

Part of his rider.

[Titus]

Dan, I want you to live a day like Elvis.

[Kate]

Okay?

[Titus]

Get up. I want you to just put on leather.

[Kate]

Didn't he do a lot of drugs?

[Brandon]

Opioids, pills?

[Kyle]

Yeah, like just.

[Kate]

I have to do that.

[Brandon]

Oh, you. You getting like fat Elvis sweating?

[Jay]

Yeah, zillion.

[Brandon]

Constipated.

[Kate]

I am constipated right now.

[Brandon]

Really?

[Kate]

Yeah, I've been constipated for like days.

[Titus]

That's the nature of constipation.

[Kate]

That's the nature nature of Ozempic, dude.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Really?

[Titus]

It makes you constipated.

[Kate]

I've said it on this program before. And then like day four, you just get a pile.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh yeah.

[Titus]

So wait, are we. I'm waiting. Can we spin the wheel? You have to send a picture of the pile to one.

[Brandon]

Oh no.

[Kate]

Come on. No, I'm not. I don't. Stephen, I don't step.

[Dana]

How do you clean up the pile?

[Kate]

You wash. You.

[Brandon]

You take a hose,

[Kate]

you flush it.

[Dana]

No, the. The remnants on in and on you.

[Kate]

On me.

[Titus]

Like Kyle, people don't like you, man.

[Dana]

How do you clean up?

[Kate]

How do I wipe?

[Dana]

Yeah, Paper.

[Kate]

I go. I do the. I do what most people don't. I go up the ass crack.

[Dana]

But just with the.

[Kyle]

I think most people swim. I think people go sideways.

[Nick]

If you go back to front.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Titus]

I go left to right.

[Brandon]

We do have a guest on hold. Let me do a Roback real quick. Roback activewear. Best fit, best feel. Summer wardrobe check. Let's run through what Roback has going on right now because it's a lot swim trunks. Honestly, some of the best designs out there. Quick dry, four way stretch and a liner that is so comfortable, you're going to want to keep it in pool, lake, boat, beach, doesn't matter. These are built for all of it. The tees. Their tailwind tees are the best beach tee out there. Soft, stretchy, and they actually look good. Not some stiff, scratchy thing you wear once and forget about. These are an everyday go to and for Polos. The Sweater Polo and the tailwind Polo are both filthy. The sweater Polo is a sleeper. Nobody saw it coming from Roback. But it's super comfortable and ridiculously clean looking. The tailwind polo is butter soft, clean looking, easy to throw out and on anywhere. Just build the whole summer wardrobe from Roebuck. Don't think about it. Go to roback.com rh O-B-A-K.com Use code YAK for 20 off your first purchase. Best fit, best feel. Roback. Those guys are. Everyone should check out this band called Wax Monkey.

[Jay]

That's a man.

[Brandon]

What a crew.

[Titus]

They looked like a bad.

[Nick]

They did look like. Yep.

[Brandon]

I told him to come by today. Also, Dom texted me and I guess Mincy was talking to him and he said, I'm on the yak, but I don't make the calls.

[Titus]

Did he say that? So he's lying.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, he makes all the.

[Titus]

I bet you he's done that to other. Other people.

[Brandon]

No, he definitely tells people he's a cast member of the act, which I guess he is.

[Titus]

I think it's fair. I think everybody in the office is kind of a cast member on the yak.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's fair. All right, so we have Apple rankings guy. Hey, Brian.

[Dana]

Nice.

[Brandon]

Oh, hey, Brian. What's up, man?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I saw you discovered my website yesterday. Yes, we love it on it.

[Dana]

When did you make it?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Oh, God, that was a Covid thing that I made that website. But I have been ranking apples for over 10 years now. I start. I had a Tumblr. Remember Tumblr?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Oh, yeah. Well, I had a Tumblr when Tumblr was a thing and it was pretty popular Tumblr. But I realized that you couldn't find anything on Google if it's something's on Tumblr.

[Brandon]

Oh, okay.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

So then I made a website.

[Titus]

Little West.

[Brandon]

Yeah. So, all right, so our first question about the website is like, we could have.

[Big Daddy Dave]

We.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

We.

[Brandon]

We enjoyed doing a deep dive on it. It was very informative, funny, everything. But then when we figured out you're a comedian, we're like, is this guy doing a bit or is he really, like, into apples?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Well, I. You. You could say it's a little of both.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I am an apple expert. I am the world's number one apple ranker. I am better than the other two guys that do this. Okay. The legitimate enterprise that I am undertaking to rank every single apple on planet Earth.

[Brandon]

So you've.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

You've.

[Brandon]

How many different types of apple have you eaten?

[Jay]

Eaten?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Hundreds. There are thousands of varieties of apples, and that's only the named varieties. That's not including the tens of thousands that pepper the landscape and random backyard throughout this country and the earth. And I would be a fool to believe that I could find and rank them all. It would be a foolish, a fruitless endeavor. But I am. Yeah, I know. Sorry. But I am. I am undertaking that endeavor and I am going to try to rank every single apple until the day I die. And this is pretty much my legacy. I have no children. This is all I have.

[Brandon]

Okay. I like that.

[Kyle]

So where did this start? Have you been into apples since you were a boy? Is this a little boy? Did an apple fall on your head?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

The origin is, I was eating. I didn't like apples. It was around 2013 or 14, and I thought that apples were terrible. I preferred a mango or watermelon or a nice grape. And then I. Because I was being force fed pig trash like Red Delicious apples. Bilious puddles of dog vomit that are encased in an old woman's change purse. And I thought that all apples were like that. So then one day I was walking along 7th Avenue and 23rd street where there's a Whole Foods in Manhattan.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's our old stomping ground.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

And I go in there and there's an apple called the Sweet Tango.

[Kyle]

I said, what the fuck?

[Brandon]

What is this?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

And so I took. I bought the apple and I ate it. And I was like, the other things I was eating are not even apples. Yeah, it was so good that I was like, this should be categorized as an entirely separate fruit. This is the apple that tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden. It is worth a thousand painful childbirths. It is an incredible, crisp, crunchy, sweet, tangy delight. And so then I started singing the praises of this apple on every. Anyone that would listen. And ever since then, I said, I will not allow anybody to consume pig trash apples ever again. And I'm going to make a resource for the public that will educate people about what apples they should be purchasing and eating so that the name of the apple is not besmirched by low level vomit. As filth as I have it labeled on my website. Yeah.

[Titus]

So I don't want to bring this up, but I will. The Arkansas Black.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Ah, yes, of course. The Arkansas Black.

[Big Daddy Dave]

That.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

So that is an apple. Hell, right now, that is what. I. I currently have that as my worst apple. I call it a teeth shattering oddity.

[Brandon]

It is a. Yes, it is.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

It's a. It's like a burgundy skee ball. You could play skee ball

[Mikey Betts]

with an

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Arkansas, like a legitimate weapon. And then it's really waxy on top of that. Like, it's so hard, you can't. But it's like it's. It's like biting into an uncooked russet potato. Dense. And then it's polished around with a natural wax, like a businessman shoe.

[Brandon]

Oh, man.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

So it's like.

[Titus]

You're making me want to try it, Brian.

[Kate]

I want to try it.

[Kyle]

Brian, what would the proponents of the Arkansas Black point to? What? What? You know, why. Why are they even. Why are they even growing it? It would be my question if it's that bad.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Well, you know, back in the 1800s, the apples that. The apple varieties that we had were very limited, and people were pretty much just going off sustenance. And the Arkansas Black, on top of it being an Arkansas apple, which there aren't a lot of great southern apples. And the Arkansas apple is a good keeper, which means that it stays in storage for a very long time. You could keep it through winter, and you could. You could pick it in the fall, put it in your storage, and then in February, you could still eat the apple.

[Kyle]

Got it.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Which in the 1800s, if you're in the, you know, the art in the woods of Arkansas, and you don't have a, you know, the government to help you out, then you're gonna need a bunch of apples in your root cellar is what they.

[Brandon]

So, all right, so. And they're coming up with new apples every day. Like, how do they do that?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah, I mean, it takes a long time to breed and. And then propagate an apple around 20 years, actually, because you have to wait. Not only do you have to discover, like, which apples are good out of thousands, but then you have to wait for a tree to grow the apples, which takes about 20 years. So it is true that there are new apples every day. That's just true generally on Earth. But new varieties of apples that actually get propagated through commercial means, I would say you get like a real good new one once a year at most, and then out of those, like, one pops off every, like, three years or so.

[Titus]

Cosmic.

[Kate]

Chris.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's Cosmic Crisp. The last one that popped off.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Popped off. I don't know about that. There are other, there are other apples that are on the come up.

[Brandon]

Tell us the ones that are on the come up. Because this is how it all started that we were talking about. How there was some new apple everyone was raving about and I couldn't, I couldn't figure out which one.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

That's got to be the Cosmic Crisp.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Okay.

[Titus]

Indication.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

The Cosmic Crisp is, is the new mainstream variety that's set to usurp the HoneyCrisp apple. The HoneyCrisp apple is on a great descent down the ranks due to basically mass producing the apple into extinction. I mean, it's become a shell of itself and it doesn't taste as good as you remember in the 90s. And they're really hard to. They're a hard upkeep apple. They get diseases easily. So the Honeycrisp is going down and apple farmers across the land try to find an apple that could keep longer, be sustain itself on the, on the tree. And then also being apple, you can have year round just like the Honeycrisp. And so these marketing marvels created the Cosmic Crisp apple. It is literally, quite literally an industry plant. This thing is backed by the industry. They put millions of dollars into marketing this apple. They have a blimp. There's a Cosmic Crisp. There's not too many brown like the Goodyear. Not a blimp. I'm sorry, Hot air balloon.

[Brandon]

Oh, it's still a lefty of apples.

[Titus]

Pretty much billionaire. So you brought up the industry work. The industry is kind of our enemy right now.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we, we got, we got so Apple Con, which is happening in Chicago where we are. I don't know if you attend. We reached out to the president of Apples and he said he didn't want to come on and we're like this guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Crazy.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Why?

[Dana]

Not interest.

[Brandon]

Not interested.

[Nick]

Not interested.

[Brandon]

Not interested.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

He's not interested. That's all he said.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Crazy.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Wow.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I mean, President of Apple's like, what does that even mean? President.

[Kyle]

President of USA Poll.

[Titus]

Yeah, yeah, it's US Apple.

[Kyle]

US Apple.

[Titus]

We're not quite sure.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

US Apple. I mean those guys over there. Yeah, yeah, US Apple. There are a bunch of different Apple conglomerates out there. I think the friendliest one you're going to find in my opinion that's been most friendly to me is to Milt, which is in Washington state. But like there is a, there is a little bit of a standoffishness in the Apple industry.

[Kyle]

That's what we're learning.

[Titus]

They're staying a generous media.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah. Because what we realized too is like the apple is, is littered throughout the history of, of mankind. So they think that like, hey, we can just, we could just say no to everyone because we're the apple, you know?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yes. You know, it's the number one. It's, it's, it's. America's fruit isn't right?

[Kyle]

I mean, it's, it's our fruit, Brian. It's not theirs. That's what, that's what we're trying to say. It belongs to the people. The apple belongs to the people.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

That's right. Well, technically, do you know where the apple came from? What country?

[Brandon]

Garden of. Oh, Eden?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

No, what country? This is a great quiz question. What country did the apple. The apple that we know it. Maliceri is the Latin term. Where did the modern apple emerge? The answer is. Does anybody want to guess or should just tell?

[Dana]

Give us a hint.

[Kyle]

Dana, go ahead.

[Kate]

Oh, Slovenia.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Slovenia. That's a great, you know what?

[Brandon]

Hot or cold great guess.

[Kate]

Also, I didn't know apples could get diseases.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Apples can get.

[Kate]

I don't want to go off.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Called the Braeburn apple, which you may have had the civil rights apple had introduced green and red mixed apples into the supermarket shells. Before that, the most shoppers would only accept a single colored apple, either red or green, definitely not yellow, just red or green. And then the Braeburn came along from New Zealand, showing people that a mixed red and green apple can be good. And that paved the way for other mixed skinned apples like the Gala and the Fuji. The apples that you see on the shelves today, the Braeburn, those suffered from a disease called Braeburn browning disorder, which pretty much undermined the entire operation. And since then.

[Brandon]

That sounds like the CIA. Yeah, that's right. That's how Bob Marley got Marley.

[Titus]

Oh my God. I was holy boys. The pit.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

The needle in the shoe. They gave him that cancer.

[Brandon]

All right, wait, so where are apples from?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Oh, right, right. Where are apples from? The answer is you're not going to believe this. Kazakhstan.

[Mikey Betts]

Wow.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yes. Tian Shan Mountains in Kazakhstan is where the original ancient apple forests reside. And from that place. Do you remember the Silk Road from high school?

[Jay]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

Marco Polo.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

That's right. So the Silk Road is how all the apple seeds travelers from China and ancient Greece and they would walk through, they would travel through these trade routes through Kazakhstan and they would eat apples, their animals would eat apples, birds would eat apples and they would shit them all over the world. And every apple seed that landed. Did you guys know this is actually the most fascinating apple fact of all?

[Brandon]

Wait, can I ask. Can I ask before you tell us the most interesting apple factor, how often do you talk to other people, like, in general?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Not a lot.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Facts on us. I love it. All right, go ahead. Give us the most interesting fact.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

The most. Did you know that if. Okay, if you took a honeycrisp apple and you remove the seed from a honeycrisp apple and you planted that seed in the ground, did you know that that would not produce a honeycrisp apple tree? Whoa. Apple seeds are known as extreme heterozygotes, which means that every single seed and every single apple will not produce true to seed. It will produce a brand new variety of apple. That's why there are so many varieties of apples. So you can't. You can't. If you have a honeycrisp and you want to make honeycrisp trees, you can't just take the seeds out and plant them. You'll get abomination. Mostly terrible apples will come out of that tree, and you'll wait 20 years, and you'll be surprised that, oh, my God, these apples are terrible. Or maybe not even red.

[Brandon]

Damn.

[Kyle]

How do you get honeycrisp?

[Nick]

Yeah, how do you get more of them?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

That's the question. That's the question. How do you get more of them? Well, the only way to do it is you have to do something called grafting, which is when you remove a branch from a honeycrisp apple tree and you basically Frankenstein it onto the roots of a growing tree. They call it rootstock. And you put this branch on the tree, and then the tree grows up, and that branch will grow honeycrisp apples. It's almost like cloning, but not quite.

[Nick]

Wait, so when we go to an apple orchard, there, all those trees are Frankenstein trees?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yes. And not only that. What that means is every single honeycrisp apple that you've ever eaten, every single honeycrisp tree you've ever seen is a direct carbon copy genetic. Exact genetic replica of the original honeycrisp tree. It all came from the same tree. Which means if you're eating a Macintosh apple, that apple came from the same exact tree that was growing in your grandma's backyard in the early 1900s. If you eat a Newtown Pippin apple, that apple came from the same exact tree that Thomas Jefferson ate in Monticello in the 1700s. It is the most incredible apple fact of all Apples have incredible uses. They can be made for applesauce and apple

[Titus]

pie.

[Jay]

Smoke out of them.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

But the most interesting thing about it is that you can. An apple is an unbroken chain that allows you to share a meal with your ancestors.

[Kyle]

I can't believe you were unsure if this guy was serious.

[Brandon]

Yeah. No, you.

[Kyle]

No one's ever been more serious about it. Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Oh, no, I'm serious.

[Brandon]

How many hours?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah. When I saw you guys going, like, is that. You were asking the question, is this real? Is this real? And I was like, well, what would make it real?

[Brandon]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Kate]

I mean, it literally.

[Brandon]

Is there true. What. What. How many apples do you eat a day?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Oh, well, you've actually summoned me when I'm normally in hibernation. This is, like, not apple season at all.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

There's not a lot of apples right now. There is a few. There are summer apples. There's the white transparent, the graven scene. But in the fall, when I am sampling apples and trying apples, I might eat, like, ate a day.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Whoa.

[Brandon]

And it's like, you're.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Does your girlfriend ever get sick of how many apples you're eating?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

No, I wouldn't say that. I have a wife, by the way.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh, wow.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That was a trick question. I was hoping you were gonna say you were single, and I was gonna say, no way.

[Titus]

Were you married before? Were you married before or after the apple obsession?

[Mikey Betts]

I was.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I was. I was married after, but we started dating in the nation days, so she knew.

[Titus]

She saw.

[Brandon]

She knew that you, like. Listen, as much as you love your wife, you're never going to love anything like you love an apple. She's second.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Absolutely.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Absolutely true. Second fiddle.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

It's.

[Brandon]

You're like a football coach. You're like, hey, when I'm home, I'm home. But I got. I got to be. I got to be at the office a lot.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Every can replace the love of the game.

[Brandon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kate]

Brian, I just want to be totally honest and transparent with you here. I. I have a problem with apples because for whatever reason, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. When I bite into an apple. It's like one of those sensory things that I can't help but, like.

[Steve]

It's.

[Kate]

It stings my brain. Is there any. Anything you can help me out with. With that type of sensation?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

What's specifically about. About it is.

[Kate]

I don't see.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Is it the.

[Kate]

I don't know. It's just, like, the crunch. The crunch just, like, hurts my brain.

[Kyle]

You don't like the crunchy stuff.

[Brandon]

Why don't you cut them?

[Nick]

Peel it.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Butt it.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Believe it or not, there are people who are allergic to apples specifically, and they can't have them. And for those unfortunate souls, they are relegated to the pear, which is one of the most devious fruits that God ever invented.

[Brandon]

Wait, what do you got against pears?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

The pear. It's a disgrace. I mean, first of all, there are apples that taste more like pears than pears do, and they last longer. But if you. Have you ever bought a pearl?

[Brandon]

Yeah. They go bad really quickly.

[Mikey Betts]

Exactly.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

You buy a pear, it is. It is hard as a rock. It is inedible. Then you put it on your counter, thinking, oh, I'll leave it out of the fridge so it ripens, and then 60 seconds later, it is a liquid pile of mud covered in brown spots.

[Brandon]

Dude, this guy's a real deal. Even hates pears. Even hates bears.

[Titus]

What apple tastes better than. What apple tastes more like a pear than a pearl?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Well, there's. There's a few, actually. I mean, there's the. There's the. The pear cooked Red Delicious, which is. That's an apple that tastes so much like a pear. It tastes so much like a Bosc pear. It's called the candy crisp apple. It tastes so much like a Bosque pear and looks so much like a boss. Not a boss. A danju. Like a Dan. I don't even know pears. It tastes so much like a danger pear that if you sliced a candy crisp apple and put it next to a slice of a pear, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

[Titus]

All right, Dana, maybe try that.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

But I want to answer your question about how to deal with the crunch. There are. You're in the minority, but there are a few people who don't like crispness in their apples. And the way the industry is trending, it's all towards Christmas. Once the honeycrisp swept the nation, they wanted to milk that golden goose until the end of days, and they started creating all crisp apples all the time. And most of them are named blank crisp. But there are some people who actually do like mushy apples. They don't like the crunch, they don't like the crisp. And for those people, there are some varieties available that are pretty mushy, and I think peak among those would be the Macintosh.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Good to know you're an apple pear. You're like a sommelier of apples.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Sommelier.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yes. I am being. I am being scouted or what's the word. When you're in college, it's scouted. Groomed.

[Jay]

Yeah, groomed.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I mean, groomed. That word's over. I'm being scouted for certain grocery stores to help them.

[Brandon]

Wow.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

With the proper apples.

[Brandon]

Apple consultant. That. I didn't know that job existed.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Apple consultant. It pays nothing, but it's. And by the way, you know, I don't us apple. I think they know me and they have.

[Nick]

They have to.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I go to. I have been. Apple orchards do send me apples and try to influence me. Like, there are certain apples where I can't get them fresh. And so apple orchards will send me, like, the freshest, most perfect apples you've ever seen in your life. And that does actually influence me a little bit because I'm like, well, this apple is much better than I see in the grocery store. But I try to rank my apples based on what the consumer. What's available to the consumer.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's fair. You're a man of the people.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yes, but I have gone to, you know, farmers markets and stuff like that, and the farmers do know me. They do know who I am. They do. Look at these rankings. This does influence the apple industry. In fact, when I started first reviewing the Sweet Tango apple one day, I, like, I was talking about it on a. On a. There was a radio show in Australia and I was talking about the Sweet Tango apple. And then after I was done talking about it, I got an email from Sweet Tango saying, hello, did you just do something in Australia? And I was like, why? And they were like, because we just got, like, an influx of emails and phone calls asking when the Sweet Tango apple is going to be available in Australia. So my influence is strong. It grows stronger every day. I move markets.

[Brandon]

I love it. I love. We should actually. We should probably do some insider trading. Like, maybe, like, I'm sure there's a market on Calshi.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

It's like, oh, my God, if only.

[Nick]

Now are you ever worried, like, you get in your car and the brakes don't work? You're like, fuck Red Delicious. Have you ever gotten negative feedback from an apple farmer? It's like, hey, motherfucker.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Absolutely. Well, it's not. It's not just from farmers. It's from the people themselves. I mean, there's For. For whatever reason, I decided to put a comment section on my apple rankings website. I wanted it to be a community forum where people can discuss apples in a. In a safe and in a safe environment. And what's interesting about apples is that everybody has a very strong opinion about apples, it seems. And a lot of them will grow irredeemably violent when you say you don't like an apple that they like. I've been. I get death threats a couple times a week. A couple of times a week.

[Titus]

What? What?

[Brandon]

Apple, you're not suicidal, right?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

No. I want to put that on the record.

[Big Daddy Dave]

What.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

What if I kill myself?

[Big Daddy Dave]

It is.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I will not kill myself.

[Brandon]

Macintosh found you. Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

If I. If. If there will be. If there is no suicide note or even there is one, it's because U.S. apple took me out.

[Dana]

Oh, my.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

U.S. apple. I can't believe.

[Brandon]

That's crazy.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

What kind of person would not want to just chat about Apple? You're going to do.

[Brandon]

Right? Right. It's crazy.

[Kyle]

You should. You should run for president.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

We vote for you to be president. U.S. apple. Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

That's the thing. It's not an elected position. I don't think they call it a president, but it's really a dict.

[Brandon]

Well, Brian, thank you. If you're ever in Chicago, man, please stop by. Maybe we can do some apple tasting together.

[Kyle]

How do we. Brian? How do we support you? How do we. As a show? How do people watching?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Well, so I am. I have my website. Apple rankings dot com. And then next year. This is already written, but I wrote a book.

[Dana]

Oh, my God.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah, I wrote a book. I wrote a book about apples. Apple rankings, the book. The Definitive Guide to Good and Trash Apples. And that's. It's going to be available next fall.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Okay.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

And during Apple season. It's not. It's not out yet. It's not even close to being out, but it is done.

[Brandon]

Okay. Hell, yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Next fall it'll be out. I'll have a book. So that's the. That's the. That is. It's almost. The book is almost like the. It's like the. The best case scenario for an Apple ranker is to have a book other than that. Like, there's something good that can happen.

[Brandon]

Right. Right. You've reached the major leagues.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yes. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Exactly. Well, thank you, man. Yeah. And anytime you're in Chicago, please come by. We'd love to have you on.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I would love to. I'll bring you guys apples.

[Titus]

Yeah, that'd be great.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Sample the. It has to be in the fall because. So you can get the best apples.

[Brandon]

Yes. All right. Thank you so much, Brian.

[Titus]

See you, Brian.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Thank you.

[Brandon]

All right. See you.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Bye.

[Brandon]

That guy rocks.

[Titus]

Rocks.

[Brandon]

Oh, man, he. He shows incredible.

[Dana]

One of the best presentations on anything I've ever. That was like a dissertation I learned

[Brandon]

he's so well spoken about apples he crushed. I could taste the Arkansas black the

[Titus]

way he described ski ball a burgundy.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

He's not lying.

[Titus]

There's a lot of comments on this website. Like, every apple has, like, a. An active comment section.

[Jay]

They have their own groupies.

[Kyle]

I don't even know why. Hold on. I want to read these. I don't even know why this apple is on the website. There are literally so many other options for apples in the market. To think there's generally people out there that go out of their way to choose this apple and stores makes me

[Brandon]

feel, Bill, something has to happen.

[Nick]

Go.

[Kyle]

Oh, that's the Arkansas black apple.

[Dana]

Jerry Jones is protesting biz.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God.

[Kate]

Oh, my gosh.

[Brandon]

Look at that.

[Kate]

Come on.

[Dana]

God. Dana.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

What?

[Kate]

What? It's like people bite into apples.

[Dana]

Try it out.

[Kate]

How'd you find that?

[Dana]

Remember that I asked you your least favorite sound?

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah. I hate it.

[Dana]

Yeah, you're right.

[Kate]

I don't know what it is. It like, it literally.

[Brandon]

You gotta cut them in my head. Just cut them.

[Kate]

It, like, hurts my head.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Cut them.

[Titus]

That's like me whenever I touch cotton balls.

[Kate]

Really?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah. I like apples a lot. I just. The bite into it.

[Kyle]

The bite into it doesn't do it for you. It hurts me. Yeah. That is strange, because that is what people want.

[Kate]

I know. It's a bizarre.

[Kyle]

That's the money shot.

[Titus]

The crunch is what.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah. I like it.

[Kyle]

I almost just like one bite of an apple. I know that first bite, it's not just an apple.

[Kate]

It's really a crunch into, like, anything.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Kate]

It, like, hurts me, dude. It's weird.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Wow.

[Kyle]

You should.

[Kate]

I can feel it right here.

[Kyle]

It should not be that way.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I know

[Kate]

what that phenomenon is.

[Kyle]

Change that. Yeah. Fix that. It's that now that guy.

[Kate]

I wish I liked anything.

[Brandon]

No, I know.

[Kate]

It's like, I want to find a passion in life like that.

[Brandon]

He's the man.

[Titus]

He made learning fun.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Kate]

TJ say he's on.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I think he was bearing the lead.

[Mikey Betts]

He's like, a pretty accomplished comedy writer,

[Dana]

I was gonna say.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I mean, yeah. The way he talks like he's.

[Kyle]

Yeah,

[Brandon]

there he is. Oh, wow.

[Dana]

Billy on the street.

[Titus]

Oh, like, he wrote for, like, the Golden Globes. He's wrote on, like.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Some of the roads.

[Brandon]

He's awesome, but all he cares about is apples.

[Titus]

Wrote for F Boy Island.

[Brandon]

I just love anyone that's super passionate about anything.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

It just.

[Titus]

I could listen to him talk for hours if it's Something I don't care about.

[Brandon]

Right?

[Titus]

What a guess.

[Nick]

Yeah, I didn't know that about the Frankenstein.

[Titus]

That's pretty cool.

[Dana]

Really interesting.

[Nick]

I didn't know you could put a branch on another tree and just grow. Does that work with all trees?

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[Nick]

I put a pine branch on my oak branch.

[Kyle]

Get to get a tree guy on.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, that's. Next up we have. His name's Nick Cooperstown.

[Titus]

Oh my God. No, he's anti tree.

[Nick]

Yeah, right. Trees.

[Brandon]

By the way, Mutiny. Jason Statham stars in Mutiny. It's Die Hard on a boat. From director. From the director of plane. From the Stark of Beekeeper. The Meg and the Expendables. A one man army exposing international conspiracy. Uncover human trafficking ring from one of the most defining action stars the last 25 years. Mutiny. Only in theaters August 21st. There's nothing better than a great summer blockbuster. That's Jason Statham. That's. That's Mutiny.

[Titus]

So we had the pleasure of watching it. Awesome.

[Kate]

We sure did. On a boat.

[Brandon]

On a boat. Mutiny.

[Kate]

It was sick in a kill counter.

[Brandon]

Really? Yeah.

[Titus]

Not on the. They had like a scoreboard next to it.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's.

[Titus]

And then people were betting the over under.

[Brandon]

That's awesome. Don't tell me.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I won't.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Jay]

You know, we're saying us Apple doesn't need any. Any press. Any good promo. Apple literally out the gate. Day one had the biggest scandal of our lifetimes. And they just recovered Adam and Eve.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah, right.

[Nick]

I know.

[Jay]

The original sin. Maybe they do need a little positive press. We should just turn it into a his piece.

[Brandon]

Do you guys want to do another guest? Yes, I got another one. This is from fellow Friday a couple weeks ago. I think we have almost. Big Daddy Dave. Big Daddy Dave. What's up man? What's up?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Nothing. Trying to figure out this zoom, you know, when you're an old man. Takes a lot to get going.

[Brandon]

Yeah. So how you doing? Big Daddy Dave. We're fascinated with the Big Daddy Dave lifestyle.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh my God. Vegas, My Vegas loves Daddy Dave.

[Brandon]

Yeah. That's facts. That's facts.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Thank you guys. It's an honor to be here. I appreciate it.

[Brandon]

Yeah, of course.

[Titus]

Big Daddy. What's. What's the weekend plan? This weekend in Vegas?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Okay. Weekend plan. Always. I don't deviate too much. It involves liquor, it involves women, it involves gamb. Not. No, not gambling. My nightclubs, casinos. Basically those four things. So I don't deviate from those. Those clients too often.

[Titus]

Is it. Do you go out and see the same gals or do you find in different gals?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Well, no, I'm always, I'm an equal opportunist. They got my girls, but if I fall into some other ones, I'm always looking. I'm always looking.

[Nick]

What's your criteria? What are you looking for in a lady?

[Big Daddy Dave]

It's pretty simple. Here's my philosophy in life. I know the girl, the girl on this podcast is going to hate me. I only deal. I'm only going to deal with nines and tens.

[Brandon]

Okay?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yep.

[Nick]

No, I'm right there.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Even if she's a seven, if she comes up to me and she says, hey, Daddy Dave, nice to me. Yeah, yeah, keep, keep moving. You're fat.

[Kyle]

Keep going.

[Brandon]

What about like, you know, and a half with a good personality?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Well, personal personality doesn't really, I don't really care about.

[Titus]

Have you always been Big Daddy Dave? When did you become big Daddy Dave?

[Big Daddy Dave]

40 years ago. You gotta have gotta. I've been Big Daddy Dave for a while, so. So it's been a while. And back to this. Not nines and tens. And my philosophy is on nines and tens because my, the, if I hit on 20 girls and they're all nines and tens, 18 of them are going to shoot me down from the get go. You know, you're creepy, you're old, you're this, you're that, but the one or two of those girls that I kept slipping.

[Brandon]

All right, so wait, so the weekend plan is to just go out and be Big Daddy Dave?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yes, because right now I'm retired and self employed. That's all I got going. So I go out on the weekend, take care of my business and try to cover all those bases. You know, money, nightclubs, women getting laid, drinking money. So I cover all those bases and we'll go from there.

[Brandon]

What did you do before you retired?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Let's just say I was self employed all these years, okay?

[Nick]

Oh, gigolo, huh?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Okay, I wish I'm too ugly to be a gigolo.

[Titus]

Big Daddy Dave, how do like a word for the single guys out there that are afraid of rejection? How do you handle rejection?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh, I learned that long ago. I don't know. I understand. Because guys nowadays, the younger generation, they're all simps anyway. I mean, come on, they're all simps. There's no, no problem getting rejected. I get rejected. Look, I'm the oldest, ugliest in Vegas and I get rejected all the time. I've got a lot of money and a big penis and I still get.

[Dana]

So when you don't get rejected. Do you have to, like, pitch yourself in a way? What's your, what's your move?

[Big Daddy Dave]

No, no, I don't. Everybody in Vegas knows Big Daddy Dave. Like, when I go out on weekends, I might. I don't have a big following while my account got hacked, but I don't have a big following. But when I'm on the strip, everybody knows Big Daddy Dave. I must, like, 10, 20 people a night come up to me, just want to take pictures. And I'm not really that famous. I mean, right? So.

[Titus]

But do you wear anything that signifies that you're Big Daddy Dave?

[Brandon]

Yep. Yep.

[Kyle]

There it is.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Wait a minute. And wait. I'm trying to.

[Titus]

Oh, he's got the cup.

[Dana]

We see it. Perfect.

[Kyle]

Yeah, there it is.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you boop it.

[Big Daddy Dave]

No, you gotta have. Oh, yeah, and it's rum and there's a rum and Coke in there.

[Brandon]

Of course.

[Nick]

Amazing.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Of course. And it's only 11:30 here in Vegas, so. Yeah, I gotta have the rum and coke. Give it a little boop. Because rum and Cokes always tastes better when you boop it.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Brandon]

All right, so. What, What A lot of people are asking, like, how do you do it?

[Big Daddy Dave]

You know, I. That's a good question. I don't know how I do it. It's the mullet. Gotta be the mullet. Because I had this mullet for 50 years and once you give it like a little flip,

[Titus]

it's over.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Huh.

[Titus]

Have you always been this confident?

[Big Daddy Dave]

If. And another thing I got. I always wear suits.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

So if you combine a three piece suit with a fabulous mullet. Oh, the panties are. It's. They're off. They're off.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dana]

If you woke up tomorrow with a small. No money, no suits, and no local reputation, you think you'd still be able to get broads?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Nope. Not a lick. I'd be jerking off. So much, I would have to put duct tape on it so I could do it another time.

[Kyle]

Dave, you're talking, you're talking. You've. You spoke on, like, you being rejected and what that's like. What about the other way? What about, like you breaking hearts? Was that hard for you at first? Like, do you remember the first heart you broke? Is that. Is that something comes naturally to you?

[Big Daddy Dave]

I don't, I, I don't break any hearts because I hang out with all I, I keep all the girls I know. I keep them close to me because I got a thousand friends who are. Who are girls, and there's no reason to reject them. I mean, if I don't want to sleep with them, I'll still keep them, invite them to the house and go out drinking and doing whatever. So me rejecting girls, I, I really don't do that. I mean, yeah, surely there have been

[Kyle]

women you've brought home and they've fallen in love with you and you're like, honey, this was a one night thing. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to settle down.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh, no, I haven't dated a girl in 40 years. Yeah, I haven't dated a girl in 40. I don't go out on dates or, you know, hey, would you like to go get a cup of coffee? Would you like to go to Olive Garden and have some raviolis? No, I don't do that shit.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that'd be crazy.

[Big Daddy Dave]

And get two for one special drinks. No, I ain't doing that. Yeah, I'm going to put a strip. We're going to meet up, we're going to hang out, people watch. Go to my nightclubs, drink, do whatever. But I don't, I haven't dated a girl and I, I don't even know how to date a girl or even ask a girl on a date.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, you know, incredible.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I don't want to take a girl to Olive Garden or TGIF and have a pasta meal.

[Titus]

So what's your move at the nightclub? Do you go there with a date or do you find the girls in the nightclubs?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Well, the girls are already out on the strip. So they're out there, you know, hanging out, doing their thing. But if I'm in my nightclubs and just doing my thing, I'm always looking for opportunities. If I could get laid four times, I will. If I get laid one, you know, if I could get a head job, I'm happy, I'm good. So.

[Brandon]

Yeah, go ahead. All right, so Big Daddy Dave, I got a hypothetical for you. All right, this is a hypothetical. Let's just say you, it's Big Daddy Dave's birthday, you throw yourself a banging birthday party, and at the end of the birthday, you don't bring any broads home. You're totally unsucked. Would you say, like, hey, we can't even call him Big Daddy Dave anymore. Like, that's pathetic.

[Big Daddy Dave]

That is pathetic. I would probably. So I'm in my house on my birthday with no girls? Is that what you're saying?

[Brandon]

No, no, you're. No, no, you're. You're throwing a party for yourself at a club with inviting all the girls for your birthday. You. You then get that.

[Nick]

You.

[Brandon]

You do the club. You leave the club early because you can't get any girls and you go home.

[Kyle]

Some of them you fly in, Dave. Yeah. They're from out of town and you fly them in and put them up

[Brandon]

at a hotel and then you're unsu. You're unsucked.

[Big Daddy Dave]

No, that would never happen. That would never. No, no. If I had. As a matter of fact, I was at nightclub this weekend, I had a table and I had four girls with me and each one. No, I would have never went home alone.

[Nick]

Hey.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I would have went. Push comes to shove, I would have went to the omnia bathroom at 4 in the morning, jerked off.

[Titus]

Now, are you just. Are you better in Vegas or could you pull girls across the country?

[Dana]

Right.

[Kate]

If we put.

[Titus]

If we put you in like an Amish part of Pennsylvania, do you think you could pick up a gal?

[Big Daddy Dave]

I think the mullet travels well.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

New Jersey, New York, defense.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Steeler fans.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Once. Once the mullet comes. Once I gel the mullet and give it a few flips.

[Brandon]

Oh.

[Big Daddy Dave]

And it's over. It's over.

[Brandon]

It's over.

[Dana]

Yeah. You have a.

[Brandon]

What's that?

[Dana]

Do you have any aspirations beyond money and clubs?

[Big Daddy Dave]

No, because I'm in my 60s.

[Kyle]

What else you need?

[Brandon]

What else are you gonna do by my backyard?

[Big Daddy Dave]

I gotta. No, that's all I care. Before I die. I mean, I'm retired, self employed. I don't care. No, that's what Big Daddy Dave's all about. Money. Are you.

[Kyle]

Are you a product of your environment? Did you grow up in this or did you. Did you end up in Vegas because this is how you are.

[Big Daddy Dave]

No, this is probably how I am. I've been in Vegas over 50 years.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

And I learned 50 years ago this is how. This is how to handle. I got. I got Vegas down till to a science.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I mean, it took me 50 years to get this until I. I got it down to a science.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

It's easy.

[Kyle]

Perfect.

[Titus]

Now, how are you as a wingman if we sent somebody out there with you?

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Nope.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Brandon]

It's all for me.

[Big Daddy Dave]

You can hang me out with Brad Pitt. No, I ain't doing that.

[Brandon]

Oh, man.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Is front and center. I ain't a wingman. I ain't. No. Okay.

[Nick]

Do you ever do just. Well, sorry. Do you ever do just a dude's night without worrying about the ladies? Like, do you have, like, dude friends that are just like you or.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh, no, I. You know, I got a few close friends, but when I go out on a strip. I like being by myself. That way I take care of my business and my pleasure all by myself. I don't have a bunch of friends getting all loud and stupid and you know, we all decide where to go. I go where I want, do what I want, who I want, go home when I want. And no, I don't really dudes. I don't like hanging out with dudes.

[Brandon]

How many nights a week are you going out, Big Daddy Dave?

[Big Daddy Dave]

I usually go out depending on the weekend. It starts around Thursday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, sometimes Sunday. But I'm an old man, so I got it down to maybe two, three days a week.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you know, depending on.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Depending on what I got planned. So, you know, some Thursdays I stay home. Friday and Saturday I go out, do my thing and then. Yeah, but that's the only thing I care about.

[Kate]

You ever want, you ever want to settle down, Big Daddy Dave?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Hell no.

[Kyle]

Hell no.

[Kate]

Stupid question.

[Kyle]

I'm trying to go to Olive Garden

[Titus]

every day

[Brandon]

settles down every night with

[Kate]

a different

[Brandon]

bread sticks.

[Titus]

A big daddy date.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I want to settle down with a fat girl and go eat at Olive Garden twice.

[Kyle]

Hear yourself Garden?

[Titus]

Come on.

[Brandon]

With a fat girl.

[Kyle]

Fat. Take a fat woman to all of. Dana.

[Brandon]

That's what you just proposed.

[Titus]

That sounds like hell.

[Brandon]

You're nuts, Dana.

[Kyle]

Bang tens in Vegas or go to Olive Gard with fat.

[Titus]

Drawing a nightclub and bang tens or fat girlfriend and ravioli. Ravioli you Dana.

[Big Daddy Dave]

My whole life to get this money and I got a big penis. A fat with two kids.

[Brandon]

Oh, man. All right, well, thank you, Dave. Big Daddy Dave, from the bottom of my heart. Yes, thank you for joining us. I, I'm gonna say right now this is the last we're gonna hear from you.

[Titus]

No dog love you do.

[Kyle]

Is your merch for sale?

[Big Daddy Dave]

No, not yet. I'm working on.

[Kyle]

You gotta put it for sale.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you gotta get that on God,

[Kyle]

Dave, I need it.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

So anyway, so I don't understand why guys would work hard, work 12, 10 hour days, make their money and then come home to an ugly girl.

[Nick]

Okay. It's been great talking to you, Dave.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I see a lot of producers and co hosts are going to be mad at them.

[Brandon]

You're Big Daddy Dave. No one else is. All right, well, Big Daddy Dave, thank you so much for calling in. And like I said, I, I. Hopefully our paths cross at some point.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Anytime you guys in Vegas hit me up and we'll live the Vegas experience. And I appreciate you guys getting a hold of me. It was an honor. Thank you guys.

[Kyle]

God bless you.

[Dana]

All right.

[Brandon]

Thank you Big Daddy Dave. Appreciate it, man. Oh my God.

[Nick]

Wow.

[Kate]

Dude, you missed Holy Kate.

[Brandon]

Big Daddy Dave might not be the best dude.

[Nick]

Guess I'm not his type.

[Brandon]

But he also kind of rocks.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Titus]

So say what you need to say first then we can move on.

[Nick]

It sucks that I get rejected by Big Daddy.

[Big Daddy Dave]

That's.

[Nick]

That does thing a little bit.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Nick]

It stings.

[Brandon]

Two kids Olive Garden Ravioli.

[Titus]

Something had to have happened to him at Olive Garden, right?

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Also what was his job?

[Nick]

Yeah, he didn't want to but he

[Titus]

kept on saying I'm retired and self employed.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And Big dick. He mentioned that big penis. I don't know if you guys heard that.

[Kate]

This is another one. I just. I don't what happened.

[Brandon]

Who is the fellow Friday.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Oh man. The do stock at an all time.

[Brandon]

Oh my God.

[Kyle]

I mean we don't need to do ever again.

[Brandon]

Dude looks in the mirror and he. He sees Big Daddy Dave.

[Kyle]

It's over for Jeff.

[Nick]

I thought Nick, you were smart. I was like oh this is going to be great. Like I thought you were opening for Nadu to I was do a weekend out there.

[Titus]

I was going to try to get new Nadu to write the ship.

[Jay]

He tried to think of a scenario where that would happen to him. He's like no.

[Nick]

He jumped off in the Omnia bathroom.

[Titus]

He's also like I guess it could

[Kyle]

be a brought off like him and I don't the doing could it Dave.

[Titus]

That would do.

[Brandon]

Would get.

[Titus]

That would.

[Kyle]

That's the way Nadu gets back.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Because he has a brought off with Dave and beats him but I don't see it happening. I don't. Yeah, I don't either. That's.

[Titus]

I was expecting the most opposite answer Kyle. When you said if you woke up bald with a little could you get girls? No though I'd be jerking off talking

[Brandon]

be jerking off insanely honest. I. I mean that's back to back just perfect. Got to be a better guess different

[Kyle]

reasons for different reasons. Got to be a better way to say it than call catch him slipping.

[Titus]

I don't like that.

[Kyle]

I could have wor that better.

[Brandon]

That was tough.

[Titus]

Almost tapped out.

[Jay]

That was.

[Kyle]

That was tough.

[Brandon]

But we.

[Titus]

We powered through.

[Kate]

Uhhuh.

[Dana]

He was repugnant and dreadful delivery.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

A genuine VI villain

[Brandon]

similar to to Apple guy where it's like he. He's just passionate about being a terrible human.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Dana]

That's unapologetic. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Draws you in. I need more Big Daddy Dave. I might need Tate. To just follow him around.

[Titus]

We just went from those pure guy to the. Just a real cretin.

[Brandon]

And I want them both.

[Kyle]

Yeah. It's passion and charisma. Passion plus charisma. Yeah.

[Dana]

Equals undeniable authenticity.

[Kyle]

It's undeniable.

[Titus]

Like. Yeah, man. Catch him slipping.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I'm gonna pretend that means sober consensual rebound. Rebound. Just seeking that out. That's.

[Jay]

Yeah. We don't support him, but we will give him a platform.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Sir.

[Brandon]

Yeah. It is the mullet. The mullet. When he flipped the mullet, I could see how.

[Titus]

Well we'd need to see the penis.

[Nick]

He would clean up in Deptford, New Jersey.

[Jay]

He would.

[Titus]

Are there nines and tens there?

[Nick]

There's. They're everywhere.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I feel like you can find them everywhere.

[Brandon]

Calling guys simps. Today's guys.

[Titus]

All guys are simps.

[Kate]

Now he's got to try the bread Snicks, man.

[Nick]

You are the antithesis.

[Brandon]

He really doesn't like Olive Garden.

[Titus]

Dana, are. Are you in Vegas anytime soon?

[Dana]

No.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Kate]

I mean, I. I would love to

[Titus]

go to Olive Garden.

[Kate]

I can be.

[Titus]

Do you guys have a Sphere show coming up?

[Kyle]

No, not anymore.

[Steve]

I'll be there in February.

[Kate]

Oh. Oh.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh.

[Steve]

It's actually. I mean, super bowl is.

[Brandon]

Wait, how far is.

[Jay]

Right around the corner. La.

[Brandon]

But why are you there in February?

[Steve]

Going to Metallica at the Sphere.

[Kate]

Oh.

[Brandon]

You might have to see Big Dad.

[Titus]

He'll be in prison by then.

[Brandon]

Don't bring your wife around.

[Titus]

No,

[Brandon]

yeah, we're definitely. It's either.

[Titus]

We're gonna see an article.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's an article.

[Titus]

And Kyle will be in the. In the thumbnail.

[Steve]

Oh.

[Kate]

Ah.

[Brandon]

I mean, what was the back to back?

[Titus]

What a Wednesday?

[Brandon]

40 minutes of just.

[Dana]

That was unreal.

[Brandon]

We just.

[Kyle]

That was a.

[Brandon]

That's a tornado.

[Kyle]

I went to the bathroom and came back.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Daddy Dave was like. Like, was that a surprise? Yeah, that just kind of happened. Yeah.

[Brandon]

There's a yak tornado of guests.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I don't know if I missed a text or something.

[Jay]

Imagine a new listener tuning in because they genuinely want to know more about apples. And then.

[Brandon]

Yeah, stick around. These guys are like the worst, man.

[Titus]

Is it a. Is it a to do situation?

[Dana]

Are there any doubter Daddy Dave? I think.

[Kyle]

I mean, Brandon. Brandon probably would, but Brandon.

[Titus]

Thank God.

[Nick]

Brandon.

[Kyle]

Oh, Brandon would have ruined that.

[Kate]

You really think apple guy likes apples?

[Brandon]

I mean, if he's got money.

[Nick]

50 years doing it. I feel like he's. He's got it down to his sides.

[Titus]

I wonder if he's Ever been married?

[Big Daddy Dave]

No.

[Brandon]

God, no. Kids have to go to an Olive Garden.

[Nick]

I know. I want. I picture his kids watching this. Who hasn't talked to it?

[Titus]

Dad's on barstool. He's mentioned his penis three times.

[Kyle]

They got divorced like three years ago. Yeah, it's like very recent.

[Titus]

He's like hurt man for something.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Nick]

He's got a fat ex wife with two kids.

[Titus]

That's what it is.

[Kyle]

Olive Garden will do to a man.

[Titus]

Or TGIFs. I've never heard anybody just. I'm not saying the Friday that.

[Dana]

What?

[Titus]

I. I can't believe people like that exist. Yeah, I guess Vegas would be the place for that.

[Kyle]

Well, that's why I asked him, is it like, is he a product of the environment he grew up in? But he said he'd been there 50 years. He's 60 years old. So like. Oh, wait.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Titus]

That is his environment.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Moved when he was 10. I don't know. Because that would suck to be that way. I guess that isn't a dude to be that way. Somewhere where you can't really. Yeah. You're just like born in the wrong place.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Titus]

I mean. Yeah. If you're like a big, well endowed Coxman playboy and you find out you're born in Lancaster.

[Mikey Betts]

Right.

[Nick]

It's tough.

[Titus]

It's tough.

[Kyle]

You got.

[Titus]

He was a drug dealer, right.

[Kyle]

That he. He had his own dealing something. Definitely dealing something. Yeah.

[Titus]

He had a brand bug on a ranch of sorts.

[Nick]

I don't know.

[Steve]

I know which one of those two guests had more passion for their craft.

[Titus]

That's a good question, Steve. Well, apple guy also does comedy. This guy just.

[Kyle]

That's all he has.

[Dana]

Yeah. Spread his knowledge throughout. Hundreds of different apples. This guy is just. Just.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dana]

The money too. But that's, you know, that's just a means to.

[Kate]

Right.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I think he might mix business with pleasure. They say don't do it, but I think big daddy Dave might be doing it.

[Titus]

You think so?

[Kyle]

I think he might be purchasing. I think he might. I don't know.

[Nick]

He do. Might have some things in common in Vegas.

[Titus]

I wonder if he knows Orlando.

[Kyle]

It's a good question, huh?

[Nick]

Oh, yeah. We forgot to ask if he's ever has a video of himself getting sucked.

[Titus]

He has to.

[Jay]

Definitely.

[Brandon]

He has to.

[Nick]

Sure. Certainly.

[Jay]

Compilation rum and Coke being his go to drinks. Pretty funny.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Well, what do you think him and Brian Fran would talk about?

[Titus]

That's a good question. Those two in a room.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Jay]

What's.

[Titus]

What's.

[Kyle]

We would try that.

[Brandon]

We had Apples.

[Kyle]

We did that on mostly sports. The other day, we did a. Like a proxy podcast. TJ. Is that what you called it?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Brandon, FaceTime, Jeff and I. FaceTime. Green, Greg. And then. And then they started talking to each other. We. We could try that sometime. Like, have two guests.

[Titus]

We should zoom. Two of the guests.

[Kyle]

Have. Have them zoom in. And then we just, like, don't say anything, and we see if they'll just start finding. Com.

[Nick]

Guess through that.

[Brandon]

I was just thinking about it, like, Stu Finer and Big Daddy Dave.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Kyle]

Kind of let them go and see what happens.

[Dana]

Big Daddy Dave doesn't know any. He. He does. He never uses proper nouns. Like, he tried to think of a restaurant and even a food item. He only knows. And he always just says broad. Nightclubs.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Like, where he.

[Brandon]

What he does.

[Dana]

He sees DJs.

[Brandon]

He also runs out of things. He does and always go. He's like, you know, it's the money.

[Titus]

He says clubs.

[Brandon]

He says money, booze, money.

[Steve]

Yes.

[Titus]

He does a full circle of things.

[Brandon]

But then he said three things.

[Titus]

He said gambling. He's like, nah, no, not gambling.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He knows three things total.

[Titus]

That's it.

[Dana]

He's trying to. Every restaurant is trying to list other things.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Like casinos.

[Titus]

Well, he was trying to listen. He was trying to list more than ravioli at Olive Garden. He goes, ravioli, ravioli, cheese.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Every restaurant is Olive Garden. Every chick that's not a 9 or 10 is fat. It's like he just. His life is a real small world. He made his simplifying. Yeah. He. Yeah. I feel like he might have. Like, maybe he gotten. He might be like, one of those situations when you hear about, like, someone, like, drowning and their brain gets rewired. Maybe that was what it was. So he doesn't even know what he did in a past life?

[Titus]

I think an Olive Garden waiter, his wife.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

But him saying, I don't want to get into it when asking what he used to do. He might not know.

[Titus]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

Like, a really bad concussion. And he just woke up one day. His big daddy day.

[Titus]

Yeah. Like, by a pool. Woke up 50 years old.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

What am I?

[Brandon]

Big Daddy day. Oh, man.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Wow.

[Titus]

I. What a day.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Wow. Wow.

[Brandon]

Stephen, what do you got? Oh, I got something.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Hold on. You want to do the Reese's read? And then I got something.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Sorry, my computer shut down. All right. Reese's. There's something for everyone. When it comes to Reese's, my favorite Reese's product is the Reese's dipped Pretzels. Those are my absolute favorite. The animal crackers are really good. The big cups are awesome. My kids like the marshmallow and the strawberry, the new ones. But they're all so good. They're all in the Reese's Room. The absolute best place to go in the office. There's the ice cream machine and there's the Reese's Room. Reese's Room hits every time. Reese is the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop. I was given a tour yesterday, and everyone wanted to see the Reese's Room. It's got everything you need. Reese's.

[Brandon]

Did you guys see Frank the Tank? Got a article.

[Nick]

New York Times.

[Titus]

Unbelievable.

[Nick]

Very cool.

[Brandon]

Did you see that Jenks was mentioned seven times.

[Titus]

No way. And what about Bets?

[Brandon]

Who?

[Kyle]

No. Oh, no, no.

[Brandon]

Oh, goose egg.

[Dana]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Goose egg.

[Titus]

And. And Bets predates Jenks.

[Brandon]

Bets created. Frank walks.

[Titus]

And we talked to Bets.

[Jay]

Probably taking it well. Yeah, he's a mild guy.

[Titus]

He's fine. Being slighted glass.

[Kate]

Glasses are broke.

[Titus]

That's the best pair.

[Kyle]

Glasses. Yeah.

[Titus]

Frank is genuinely inspiring. I will say that.

[Nick]

Yes. It's really cool what he's doing.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Dana]

Is he here

[Mikey Betts]

for the National?

[Kyle]

Probably going to. Yeah. National.

[Steve]

He's at that right now. He'll be in the office, I believe, tomorrow.

[Kate]

Poor Betsy.

[Kyle]

A lot of the boys going to the national tonight.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I can't wait.

[Nick]

What's the National?

[Titus]

We gotta love the hobby. It's the hobby, Kate.

[Brandon]

I'm gonna go tomorrow. I don't know what to expect.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Cards.

[Nick]

Oh, card show. You were Pokemoning for a while over there yesterday. I didn't know you were into that.

[Kyle]

I'm not. I have.

[Titus]

This is good.

[Brandon]

Giraffe. A rig.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Titus]

It's a palindrome. Forward and backwards.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Titus]

It's pretty cool.

[Brandon]

Pulled that one this morning.

[Titus]

Nice.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Do you have a clearer idea of it or you want to.

[Kyle]

No, I'm not. I. I have. I have acquired a lot of Pokemon cards.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Kyle]

And. I don't know, it started. I. I was trying to figure out why it started. And I remember Tommy Walker came into the office the very first time. It was, like, right after the office had opened, and he walked into Mostly Sports Studio. And he was like, what's up, Titus? I was like, hey, Tom. And he's like, you got any Pokemon? And I said, no. And he was like, okay. And then he turned around and walked away. And I was like, I gotta get some Pokemon. And then people started just giving me some, like, Blutmans. And. And I Have, like, a huge stack, but I don't know what to do with them. Yeah, you should have, like, if we just let the stack.

[Titus]

That's what you do.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Titus]

You have them now?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah. Oh, so I'm doing it. You're doing really.

[Titus]

You're doing really well.

[Kyle]

Oh, cool.

[Titus]

Yeah. You're crushing.

[Brandon]

Hey, Bets.

[Kate]

Hey.

[Brandon]

How you doing?

[Mikey Betts]

Doing great.

[Brandon]

Big, big article in New York Times.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Is it.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. Very, very happy for Frank.

[Titus]

How do you spell your name? I didn't see it in the article, so I'm just curious how it's.

[Mikey Betts]

It's M, I, K, E, Y, bats.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, yeah. It's all right. It's fine. I'm very happy for Frank. Huge inspiration. Huge accomplishment. It's awesome.

[Kate]

You're smirking.

[Mikey Betts]

That's all right. I always smirk. I'm happy for him.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I don't know.

[Mikey Betts]

I already explained my frustration with Frank, but I'm loyal to the guy, so I don't want to come on here and say anything bad.

[Kyle]

What? What?

[Titus]

Wait, did Frank mention Jenks or did.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

I didn't.

[Mikey Betts]

I didn't finish the article, to be honest.

[Titus]

Oh, you start the article at the article.

[Brandon]

Hard read or do rage? Quit the article. Left the article.

[Kyle]

Left the article.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. No.

[Titus]

Was it a Frank quote that's brought

[Mikey Betts]

up Jenks, so, you know, I think they interviewed Jenks.

[Jay]

You missed the part about them saying Jenks started. Frank walks then.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, is that what they said in there?

[Jay]

I figured.

[Mikey Betts]

Interesting.

[Jay]

It would have mentioned you if you.

[Mikey Betts]

That's all right. No, no, it's. It's all good. Like I said, I'm going to be loyal. Last time. I don't want to get in any trouble this time with Frank, so I'm going to stay. Stay happy for him.

[Titus]

Was he excited about this article?

[Mikey Betts]

Was Frank. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. I think he knew about it for a few weeks now.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Did you talk to him today?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, we had a podcast while I put the tweet out and what it would. Everything was fine, like I said. I. I hashed it out with him.

[Brandon]

What did he say?

[Mikey Betts]

Well, yeah, you know. And that was it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, you can't really argue with the guy, so. It is what it is.

[Kate]

Is this squeeze out becoming a trend, though?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, I mean, about that. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Even squeezed out.

[Dana]

What else?

[Mikey Betts]

I think specifically Fleming Enterprises. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Is it anti Italian discrimination?

[Mikey Betts]

No, Frank's Italian. Frank's Italian? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what it is.

[Kyle]

Are you Italian, Mikey?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, I am Italian. Yeah. Yeah. Why?

[Kyle]

I Didn't know that.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, 5%.

[Titus]

Well, Jenks lived in Italy.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah, he.

[Mikey Betts]

He lived in Italy. I don't think he's Italian, though.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Okay.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

So what.

[Brandon]

What are we gonna do?

[Mikey Betts]

I don't know. I guess fire up the LinkedIn or something. Right.

[Nick]

Has Jenks talked to you?

[Mikey Betts]

No, I haven't talked to Jenks now.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

So do you. Do you want to be loyal? You keep.

[Mikey Betts]

I'm a loyal guy.

[Kyle]

Yeah, but then at the same time, it feels like you don't. You want to make the jump. You want to. You want to do something brash here, but you're just.

[Mikey Betts]

No, I just want to chill and I'm gonna. Like I said, I don't want to get in trouble with Frank.

[Jay]

Do you think it was on purpose, not being mentioned once?

[Brandon]

It's almost impossible. Yeah, exactly.

[Mikey Betts]

Exactly.

[Brandon]

Like me and PFP doing a pardon my take article and not saying Hank's name once.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, like, whoever facilitated that must have something you guys would against me.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

I. Actually, Hank, it's uncomfortable because we like, over praise him.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's. It's tough.

[Titus]

If you would have.

[Mikey Betts]

If my mom and dad would have loved to see that, but, you know,

[Brandon]

if you would have been asked, we maybe. What if we just made like a fake one and sent it to him?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, I might just. I might just photoshop something.

[Brandon]

Like, he bets the man behind the man.

[Titus]

If I would have asked you, and I was like, hey, this article's coming out. Do you think you'll be in it?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, I mean, I. No, actually, no, because I was stiffed out of the Noble commercial as well for Frank.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah. This is real?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, this is a real repeating trend and it's fine.

[Titus]

Is that Noble commercial out?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, it came out a couple. Couple months ago.

[Titus]

Is Jakes in it?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, Jinx is in there.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Crazy.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Pretty cool.

[Brandon]

Do you want to. I was. I had a free afternoon. Do you want to go bowling?

[Mikey Betts]

For real?

[Brandon]

Do you have anything this afternoon?

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, no. Yeah, I gotta go work with Frank at National Car.

[Brandon]

What do you have to do, stand

[Mikey Betts]

around and record them?

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Making sure he gets A to B. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Damn.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, I. I would love to freak out. Maybe one day. I feel like it's a ticking time bomb. I'm ready to freak the out. It does piss me the off. I know. Like is what it is. Jenks definitely has something to do with it too. Like, I don't want to get like, into the webs and like, maybe Frank has something to do with it. I don't know what it is, but it is what it is. It 100. Like it's been happening for a while now. And that's fine. That's fine.

[Titus]

How long have you been with Frank, though?

[Mikey Betts]

It's 20. 26 years.

[Brandon]

Where is Frank right now?

[Mikey Betts]

He's at the car convention.

[Brandon]

We get him to zoom in and ask him point blank if he's squeezing you out.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, we can.

[Kate]

But it's not just the Frank squeeze out, right? Like your desk.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, that stuff I just joke around about because it's the underlying thing of I'm actually getting squeezed out of Mike. So. Yeah, yeah, it is what it is.

[Brandon]

See, if you can zoom in, you can text him the zoom link.

[Jay]

Text you back saying, who's this?

[Brandon]

I just want to ask him, like, hey, are you. Cuz he might. He might just be like. Yeah.

[Dana]

So what did the article say about Jenks glowing, like, instrumental.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Which it's all deserved. Like, I'm not.

[Brandon]

I'm not saying anything about j.

[Mikey Betts]

No, it's not about Jenks at all.

[Kyle]

That was the first time they mentioned. But anything the other time I mentioned Jinx.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah. Seven times.

[Dana]

Did anything they said about Jinx also apply to you?

[Mikey Betts]

I would. I would assume so, yeah. But I. I didn't. I didn't finish it, so.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Will you ever finish it?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe tonight maybe. Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

The idea of rage, quitting an article, that was like. How long was it?

[Mikey Betts]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Kyle]

When did you. As you're reading it, when did you know? When did it hit?

[Mikey Betts]

I just knew once. I. I saw. I think I saw Jenks two times and I was like, yeah, I'm.

[Dana]

I'm not.

[Titus]

Oh, you. You didn't even see a quarter of the jinx. No, no, I only saw two of it.

[Kyle]

Like I said, it's all five more mentions.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

All.

[Mikey Betts]

All deserve for Jenks. Like, he does work his ass off, so. But yeah, it is what it is.

[Jay]

He's not walking backwards for miles.

[Mikey Betts]

Well, sometimes, yeah, he'll do it with the phone.

[Jay]

He's sometimes walking backwards for miles, but yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, filming the walk.

[Jay]

Is this a co. Creation? Maybe Frank walks.

[Kate]

I.

[Mikey Betts]

When. When this started, Frank's leg was so bad. And I remember like two weeks prior, him and Doug's. I was in the car with him and Doug's coach, Doug's, and they were talking about like, yeah, you're gonna have to cut off your leg. The doctor's Recommending cutting off your leg. And they're. Frank was like, oh, yeah, well, that's fine, because I'll be able to get the ADA for the. The Mets games, like the handicap spot. And I was like, dude, what are we doing? There he is.

[Brandon]

Hey, Frank.

[Mikey Betts]

Hey, Frank.

[Kyle]

How's the National?

[Brandon]

How's the National?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Just getting started, looking around. About to probably make my first purchase.

[Brandon]

Nice congrats on the New York Times article is incredible.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Thanks.

[Brandon]

Are you squeezing out Mikey Betts?

[Big Daddy Dave]

No, he's just. He just busy guy. He's getting his own podcast starting.

[Brandon]

Oh, don't do that, Frank. Don't do that, Frank.

[Mikey Betts]

Don't do that, Frank.

[Titus]

But in the end, did he just never come up in conversation for the. The Times piece?

[Big Daddy Dave]

To be truthful, we did mention you.

[Brandon]

Oh, you did?

[Mikey Betts]

You said. You said there was nothing mentioned. When we had a talk and we hashed this out, I said, no, but

[Brandon]

nothing in the article was mentioned. But they did mention you in the interview process.

[Kyle]

You got cut.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, I got caught. Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Okay.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah, we talked about how you helped start Frank Walk.

[Mikey Betts]

Who's we? Who's we?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Me, you, James Jason. You gave you a lot of credit.

[Mikey Betts]

I wasn't there.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Well, he didn't talk to you.

[Brandon]

Why?

[Big Daddy Dave]

I don't know.

[Mikey Betts]

Okay, all right, cool. That.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

That's.

[Big Daddy Dave]

That's all right. Ask the writer. We mentioned that you're involved. Who wrote it?

[Brandon]

Can we get. Can we get the writer on. I would love that writer on.

[Mikey Betts]

Named Sam Blum.

[Brandon]

All right, we gotta. Come on, we gotta fact check this. We're gonna fact check this article.

[Kyle]

But, Frank, you're saying that you brought up Bet's name to the. To the writer? It's just that they didn't find Bets were the interesting enough, they just left him on the cutting room floor.

[Titus]

Or were you, like, off the record?

[Big Daddy Dave]

We talked about how he helped get Frank Walk started.

[Brandon]

Okay, we gotta talk to Sam Blum. Yeah, Josh, if you can find Sam

[Kyle]

Blum, I'll take Said. I only got room to mention seven people in this article. That's what he said, Frank.

[Titus]

It is a hell of an accomplishment, though.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it is awesome. Proud of yourself?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, it's great.

[Brandon]

No, it's very cool. Frank, don't let Mikey's little hissy fit.

[Mikey Betts]

I'm not even having a hissy fit.

[Brandon]

I'm literally just like, this is crazy.

[Mikey Betts]

I get zero times mentioned. No big deal.

[Brandon]

Don't let him outshine you, Frank.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, this is Frank's day. I'm happy for him.

[Brandon]

Right?

[Mikey Betts]

Right.

[Brandon]

The story is Frank.

[Mikey Betts]

Yep. Shout out. Frank.

[Titus]

Frank, were you fine with the broken glasses photo that they used?

[Brandon]

Yeah, okay.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

All right. Perfect.

[Brandon]

Good answer. All right, well, Frank, have fun. All right.

[Titus]

Yes.

[Big Daddy Dave]

All right.

[Brandon]

All right. You'll see Mikey Betts soon. I think he's coming.

[Mikey Betts]

Yep.

[Titus]

Yeah, he's got a long one today.

[Brandon]

All right. All right, sounds good. See you, Frank.

[Big Daddy Dave]

All right, see you later.

[Brandon]

We gotta get this sample guy on.

[Mikey Betts]

Is this guy gotta.

[Titus]

You. You knew?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I. But.

[Mikey Betts]

But that's the thing is, like, they. I knew about the article, but I already knew I wasn't going to be mentioned in it because Frank told me. So, like, these stories aren't making sense to me. Right.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Like, did they? Did they? No.

[Mikey Betts]

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe.

[Brandon]

But you need to get Sam Blum on and just have it zoom in and be like, who is this?

[Titus]

Because wouldn't he have told you that earlier? Yes.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. That's the first time I'm hearing of it. So that's kind of crazy because we already hashed it out and I thought, like, all right, it is what it is. I see where it's at, but it's fine.

[Dana]

I didn't know you, like. Why are you being so composed? Like, you just let people disrespect you like this?

[Mikey Betts]

Frank. Yeah, yeah.

[Dana]

It's the New York Times, dude. You got nothing and you're just, like, taking it.

[Kyle]

Kyle, he's not just taking it. He's driving an hour in traffic. Yeah. He's going to the national tonight to help him some more.

[Titus]

Kudos to you because I.

[Mikey Betts]

Personally, yeah, I need. I need a job. I don't know. I don't know what to say.

[Kyle]

Earth if this hate behavior.

[Titus]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

I don't know what to say. Like, really trying to keep the lid on.

[Jay]

A lot of people just found out about Frank for the first time and they thought his success had nothing to do with.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Titus]

You were always somebody where I was like, you don't disrespect this guy.

[Steve]

Now.

[Titus]

It's like.

[Nick]

Yeah. I feel like you're like a fire.

[Titus]

Anybody can kind of.

[Kyle]

It's open season. It's open. Oh, sure.

[Brandon]

He's a mark.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. Because you know he's not going to do anything, right?

[Dana]

Just forgive and smile.

[Brandon]

This is like a prison yard here.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Well, what.

[Kate]

Just watch.

[Kyle]

Mikey.

[Brandon]

What a.

[Mikey Betts]

What am I. What am I supposed to do? Do what? I'm like, what am I supposed to do?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Nothing.

[Mikey Betts]

Exactly. I just take it and take it and take it until something's gonna happen. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe.

[Brandon]

Go get your shine box.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe Mikey Betts writes a hit piece or something.

[Jay]

Oh, Release the skeletons.

[Nick]

Was this the first time he's voiced? Well, Mikey Betts has his own show going on.

[Mikey Betts]

No, he throws.

[Nick]

Yeah, he's been throwing that too.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Mikey Betts]

It is what it is.

[Kyle]

You gotta get Blum on.

[Brandon]

Gotta get Plum on. Gotta get Blum Will have. Gotta talk to Blum.

[Titus]

But, like, you're gonna be composed and,

[Mikey Betts]

like, what do you know?

[Titus]

I feel like it was a good article. Like, you did a.

[Brandon]

If this guy says that.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, we just decided to leave you out. He's a loser. Like, yeah, like if. But if he says. No. Frank and Jenk said nothing about Mikey Bets.

[Brandon]

It's like, all right, and they're dead.

[Mikey Betts]

And then hit piece is coming.

[Brandon]

We got two roads here. It's pretty easy.

[Kyle]

Someone. Someone's going down.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Know who it is?

[Titus]

It ain't Mike Lum or Fleming. Sure as hell ain't Bets.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, probably.

[Kate]

Would you consider leaving Fleming Enterprises?

[Kyle]

Where would you.

[Mikey Betts]

I've. I've always been, like, taught, like. And also, Frank got me the job, so I have to be like, you're

[Dana]

submissive and docile to a fault.

[Brandon]

Kyle, shut the up.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Titus]

No, that's like, a good trait.

[Dana]

It is.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. You're right.

[Dana]

Up you go.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Oh, Mikey bats. Yeah.

[Steve]

We don't need it.

[Kyle]

People in power, like, people that fall in line. So I think, like, this is actually good for you and Frank. Like, Frank would like this. Yeah. Good.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Curl up in your little dog bed at the end of the.

[Kyle]

Where would you go if you left Fleming Enterprises? Who would you.

[Mikey Betts]

Construction. I don't know.

[Brandon]

That's natural.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Conglomerate at barstool you could join is like. Does Dante have anything cooking? Does.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Jay]

You know, pick up the welder again.

[Brandon]

I actually.

[Jay]

Just.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Fine.

[Kate]

Oh, don't.

[Mikey Betts]

No, I'm bringing it to. I'm bringing it to the shop later. I got this one right here.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh.

[Titus]

It's in your pocket.

[Mikey Betts]

Walking around with it so I don't forget it.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

So. Yeah. All right, well, this Blum isn't coming off.

[Jay]

Have you done some research on him already?

[Brandon]

He's. No, he wants to. Come on. He's just clearing it with his editor.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh, wait.

[Mikey Betts]

What about the editor?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

What?

[Brandon]

If you could have the editor on?

[Kyle]

The editor. Have them both on. Yeah, have.

[Dana]

All right.

[Jay]

Don't be nervous, Mats. You should actually check with Frank first.

[Dana]

I think they can Amend the articles in post.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Correct.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

They could put an editor's note.

[Titus]

I mean, if they could. If the last sentence could just be.

[Big Daddy Dave]

And.

[Titus]

Mikey Betts.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Hey. I didn't get mentioned. None of us got mentioned.

[Kyle]

None of us did.

[Mikey Betts]

None of you guys are in Fleming Enterprise.

[Brandon]

Well, I know, but still, like, we're all.

[Titus]

We're orbiters of it.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

We're all zeros in the. In the Fleming world.

[Mikey Betts]

Same here.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yep.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two Frankettes.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

True.

[Mikey Betts]

I don't know, guys. I. I don't. I. I'm. I'm. I lost the fight. I don't know. It is what it is. Unless I come out with something.

[Nick]

I don't know.

[Jay]

This is sad.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Nick]

What'd you tell your wife?

[Mikey Betts]

My wife said she's not. She's not reading the article.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Mikey Betts]

Because she's being petty.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's good.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Okay.

[Nick]

Solidarity then. That's. That's a plus. Yeah, got that.

[Mikey Betts]

So I read it twice, so that you did.

[Brandon]

I covered it.

[Titus]

But, like, are people reaching out? Like, hey, like, the guy. The guy Michael works with, with people.

[Mikey Betts]

People are tagging me. Why? Why am I not. Why am I not mentioned? Why am I not mentioned? I'm asking the same thing. Guys.

[Titus]

Did your parents, like, go to get the paper in the morning to.

[Mikey Betts]

No, Dude. It's just, like, it would have been nice to send them a link with my name in it.

[Kyle]

But, Dana, when the New York Times writes about the Juggernauts, would you mention Mikey Bad?

[Kate]

Yeah, of course. He was the. He was the first coach. He was the first coach, and he was the guy that motivated us to

[Brandon]

be the guy before the guys.

[Kate]

We wanted to be better.

[Brandon]

He's Doug Collins.

[Kyle]

He motivated us to be better because he was so bad. We said. We said we have to be better than this.

[Kate]

And.

[Titus]

Thing is, you could talk about bets like this because he'll be fine about it, right?

[Kate]

He looks hurt right now. I don't like seeing my bets like this.

[Mikey Betts]

I'm just a little annoyed. I'm just annoyed. I'm annoyed at this whole situation with. With this. I'm happy for Frank. It's like a mix of emotion. I'm happy for him, but it's also like, slap in the face.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

Slap in the face.

[Brandon]

What do you do in your life for Fleming Enterprises?

[Mikey Betts]

Kind of. Yeah, definitely. I went out of the way multiple times, putting stupid miles on my car for that guy. But, hey, what are you gonna do?

[Nick]

What's the farthest You've driven him four

[Mikey Betts]

hours to Tampa, four hours to Miami back. And then we did the same thing the next day because he didn't want to rebook the. Want to book a hotel overnight.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Kate]

I don't know who. I just got a text from a random number I've never had text with before. It says Blum absolutely sucks.

[Brandon]

Good, good.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. Shout out.

[Brandon]

Well, we don't know if he sucks.

[Kyle]

We don't know

[Brandon]

yet.

[Kate]

Say that random number. Blum's the man.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did write a great article about Frank.

[Brandon]

This is the Athletic. His boss is running it up the flag pole. This is There. There's alarms going off at the New York Times right now. The Yak has summoned us.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

What?

[Brandon]

When did we get the reputation of being like, listen, we give bad boys.

[Dana]

We are.

[Kyle]

I'm not anti Blum at all. No, I'm not.

[Mikey Betts]

I'm not.

[Titus]

By the end of today, there will be somebody we have to be anti.

[Kyle]

Yeah, right.

[Nick]

I would look at the editor because they're the ones who end up chopping stuff.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Titus]

This article's a little too wordy. Let's put out two words.

[Mikey Betts]

It's one if you don't put space in between.

[Titus]

Please just make it one word.

[Jay]

One if you spell it wrong.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Don't use a space. Please.

[Brandon]

Please blow one more word. Just delete the space.

[Titus]

It would have been great.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Who else was mentioning.

[Titus]

Do you see what this has done to you?

[Mikey Betts]

I don't know who else was mentioned either.

[Brandon]

I'm gonna look real quick. I assume Dave was mentioned, right?

[Mikey Betts]

Gotta be.

[Dana]

Has to be Dave. Wyatt got mentioned?

[Brandon]

No way.

[Mikey Betts]

Why it got mentioned?

[Dana]

He was. He was working on.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, no way.

[Jay]

Why?

[Dana]

It got volunteer work.

[Mikey Betts]

No way. Why he got mentioned.

[Kyle]

What is. What's wrong with Wyatt being mentioned?

[Kate]

Princessa's kid?

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

No, that's Harrison.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Harry.

[Jay]

Same person.

[Kate]

He could have been.

[Mikey Betts]

No, he wasn't mentioned.

[Kyle]

You'd be upset if Wyatt was mentioned.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, very.

[Brandon]

Because that's who he.

[Mikey Betts]

One he wanted to trade me for.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Why?

[Titus]

Oh, yeah, he did.

[Mikey Betts]

And that's what I'm saying is like, dude, I'm. I'm.

[Brandon]

Dave got mentioned six times.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, great.

[Nick]

Nice.

[Mikey Betts]

Well, that makes sense, though.

[Kyle]

Jake's got more mentions than Dave.

[Mikey Betts]

He deserves it.

[Kyle]

Interesting.

[Nick]

I thought the green Greg mention was crazy.

[Titus]

I mean, this is. Stop it. This is a really long article.

[Dana]

It's so long.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's like, keeps.

[Mikey Betts]

I paid for the subscription today. Canceling that.

[Kyle]

Love is laughing all the way to the bank.

[Mikey Betts]

$2 a week or something.

[Kate]

You could transition to being on Poor Decisions. Oh, yeah, you'd be one of the. The guests.

[Titus]

The recurring guests say no.

[Dana]

What?

[Mikey Betts]

Come on, man.

[Kate]

Was the Green Greg positive show?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, I like Green Greg, but I'll let them do their thing.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Are you wearing all black today? Are you like in morning?

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, just every day of the week now.

[Nick]

Okay. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, I did search for Michael. I found one. Michael.

[Jay]

Okay, well, it's Michelle.

[Brandon]

Oh, it was the recommended for you. North Carolina football gm Michael Lombardi place. An administrative league.

[Kyle]

Now we just need a bet.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Titus]

Then it says Michael bets.

[Mikey Betts]

I checked.

[Brandon]

Oh, we got. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Odds by bet gm.

[Titus]

Okay, so it says Michael bet.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Michael bet is on there.

[Mikey Betts]

That's huge.

[Brandon]

Yeah, on the page.

[Mikey Betts]

That's so up. It's just like, dude, I don't know you. You work your ass off for this guy, always ungrateful, and then nothing. Who knows? Who knows? I'm happy for him. I'm happy for him. It's his day. It's his day.

[Steve]

What's your relationship like with Jinx nowadays?

[Mikey Betts]

I don't really talk to Jinx. I haven't talked to him.

[Brandon]

I think I'm brothers.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, no, I haven't really talked to him in a few months.

[Nick]

So there's not like a group chat with the three of you where it's like the. You guys put the article in there and you're talking about. It's like crickets.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. No.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh, wow.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. Haven't really talked there one.

[Jay]

And you removed yourself.

[Mikey Betts]

No, it's just not active. It's not really active in there.

[Steve]

Yeah, you guys used to talk a lot. No.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, yeah. And then life just got a little busy.

[Brandon]

Oh, okay. All right, all right, all right.

[Kyle]

What?

[Brandon]

No, this is.

[Mikey Betts]

This is real.

[Brandon]

I can be mad too.

[Mikey Betts]

Frank.

[Brandon]

Keep losing weight. We're going to try to win more games so your stress levels stay at a good place. Francisco Lindor said on a Barstool podcast that was part of my take. They just said.

[Mikey Betts]

Oh, yeah, dude, that's up.

[Big Daddy Dave]

That's up.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that actually is. That's up because that's your podcast. Yeah, right.

[Mikey Betts]

That's up.

[Brandon]

Yeah, man, I don't know how pissed. Hey, he did hyperlink to it, but.

[Titus]

Oh, it's linked directly to yours.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, what the. Dude, no.

[Steve]

Sucks.

[Mikey Betts]

All right. No, blum.

[Titus]

What happens when you lock 18 co workers in an office for one week to compete for a quarter million dollars of cash?

[Steve]

This is Surviving Barstool Season 5.

[Titus]

Presented by Rumble Premium.

[Brandon]

Each episode released three hours early. So get it ad free before anyone else.

[Titus]

Only when you join Rumble Premium.

[Steve]

Surviving barstool premieres Sunday, August 9th at

[Brandon]

5pm on Rumble Premium and everywhere else

[Big Daddy Dave]

at 8pm

[Brandon]

yeah, I'll let you know. I'll call. Stay, stay in the cage if Blum comes on.

[Mikey Betts]

All right. See you guys.

[Titus]

See you, Bets.

[Brandon]

Hey, keep. I, I, I appreciate you, Bets.

[Nick]

Thanks.

[Mikey Betts]

Appreciate it.

[Brandon]

I think we got to get, I think we got to do an interview with someone.

[Titus]

Bets, if Jenks gets an article, do you think he'll mention you?

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Probably not.

[Brandon]

Do we know, do we know someone who's like in like a, like a small newspaper and we could just do an article just how many times we mentioned Mikey Bets.

[Titus]

Should we get an article on Mikey Bet Bets somewhere?

[Brandon]

But no, I don't, I don't think that's. Because then I think we need to like someone. A low level newspaper needs to write an article about the yak. And we all just say like, well, Mikey Betts is the real brains behind it. Yeah, like just over and over.

[Titus]

Yeah. We have all kinds of guests on the show, but Mikey Bets.

[Brandon]

Mikey B.

[Steve]

Is.

[Brandon]

Yeah. How many times can we get that?

[Nick]

What if a local Vegas paper is like Big Daddy? Our, our longest local Big Daddy Dave was highlighted on a show called the Act. And then.

[Titus]

And we don't talk about it. We just talk about it.

[Brandon]

I think that would probably be a bad thing for us.

[Nick]

True. It catches women slipping. The show howled with laughter.

[Brandon]

I would like Big Daddy Dave to stay contained.

[Nick]

True. Okay, great point.

[Brandon]

And not break.

[Titus]

He's not making thumbnail. Not clip him.

[Brandon]

No, no.

[Titus]

One of those ones. It was a gamble.

[Brandon]

He's an inside joke for us.

[Nick]

Disregard.

[Brandon]

Cuz I don't think we can explain it to the outside world. Hey, who's this Big Daddy Dave? What?

[Titus]

What are we picturing the article now? Like, yeah, Rainy did call him a villain, but after laughing hard.

[Jay]

Yeah, we'll all get mentioned in that real knee slapper.

[Brandon]

After he called women fat.

[Nick]

Not New Hampshire realtor. Oh, the moonlights is a walk hospital with his son. Like heartwarming.

[Jay]

Is there any authors we could reach out to?

[Kyle]

Journalist?

[Jay]

Sports ecyclopedia maybe.

[Brandon]

It's so funny that we've raised red flags at the New York Times right now. Like, oh wait, wait a second.

[Kyle]

They're scrambling.

[Brandon]

They're scrambling.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I told you.

[Brandon]

You just should have mentioned him.

[Kyle]

We don't go on, they'll call us. Do go on the call of us real losers. What do we do?

[Titus]

Look what they did to Apples.

[Brandon]

Oh, man.

[Titus]

God damn it.

[Brandon]

I will give crap. It sounds like Sam Blum is down to come on. It's just he's got to clear with his bosses.

[Jay]

They're watching the episode so far, being like, is there going to be any problems? No, they're stalking apples. Yeah.

[Titus]

Pretty G rated show.

[Brandon]

Oh, no. Oh, God. Jay, what do you got for us? Anything or. We'll give. We'll give Blum 10 more minutes.

[Steve]

My computer's having issues. Oh, no, I can't see the. The other section that I printed out for today. Oh, the Tony Romo stuff.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah. Wait, you guys see the video of him stretching?

[Titus]

He crushed. He crushed that.

[Brandon]

I. Yeah. I don't understand. So I think I saw an update that he had an open container, which. That's not good. But everything else I watch, I was like, I feel like he's not, like, doing anything wrong. I don't know.

[Jay]

Do they just keep making it harder and harder? Like, is the last one say the Alphabet backwards?

[Brandon]

I've heard. I've read that, like, you should refuse a field sobriety test no matter what. Like, if you're. Especially if you're, like, not drunk. I don't know what Tony Romo's deal was, but, like, if you're not drunk, like, just say, I'll do a breathalyzer. I'm not doing field sobriety because, like. Like, they could. That's such a subjective. Like, some of the field sobriety stuff is. I couldn't right now. Like, standing on one leg.

[Kyle]

You can't win even if you do it right. It's not like they go, oh, okay, well, yeah, sorry, you're.

[Brandon]

You're good.

[Kyle]

They just go, let's move on to the next.

[Nick]

Can't do the Alphabet backwards.

[Brandon]

No, absolutely not. It's hard enough forward, but yeah, him stretching, getting his, like, hips activated. Did you see that video?

[Titus]

Leaning against the car?

[Brandon]

Yeah, he was really. He was just. And then they asked him if he has any brain injuries and he'd like. I think he's like, flashback real quick to his playing days. Look at this. This is before he does it.

[Nick]

Is this in the station's garage?

[Titus]

They took him in because they couldn't do it on the side of the highway.

[Nick]

Any head injuries?

[Kate]

Excuse me?

[Brandon]

Any head injuries recently?

[Nick]

Any concussion?

[Big Daddy Dave]

Well,

[Brandon]

over the years, yes, but not recently. Yeah, we had a little flashback.

[Nick]

When you turn, keep the front lead

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

foot on the line.

[Nick]

Series of small steps.

[Titus]

So it's either he's hammered or he's around, like, stretching before.

[Nick]

I'm gonna demonstrate with three.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

You will do nine.

[Brandon]

Okay. Okay.

[Kate]

Sounds good.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Okay.

[Brandon]

He did has had a lot of backstory.

[Titus]

There it is.

[Brandon]

Two, you not to willing to submit to a pbt.

[Nick]

What is that machine that you blowing?

[Brandon]

I don't understand why he wasn't allowed

[Kyle]

to call his lawyer.

[Brandon]

I thought you were able to call your lawyer.

[Steve]

He was. He taught. He had his lawyer on the phone in the car and then was saying he didn't want to come out of the car because he was calling his lawyer. And they were like, come out. And then he just did.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but he didn't call his lawyer there, did he?

[Steve]

No, I don't think phone was out.

[Brandon]

They were like, you can't call your lawyer.

[Big Daddy Dave]

I thought.

[Brandon]

I thought you could.

[Titus]

And then they looked through his backpack. They're like, you have shooters in there? And he's like, yeah, but they're full.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Oh.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Huh.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I thought so, too.

[Steve]

I didn't think he did anything wrong in the video.

[Titus]

He could have been hammered.

[Brandon]

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

What's an OWI in Wisconsin?

[Brandon]

It's like. I think it's just a fine.

[Nick]

The first one, but what does that stand for?

[Brandon]

What's the operating.

[Nick]

Oh, okay.

[Brandon]

I think that might be. Because there's so many different vehicles there. Oh, like, it's not DUI anymore. Because it could. You could be. Not drunk, but up.

[Nick]

Got it. Okay.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And then you, like.

[Big Daddy Dave]

And then.

[Brandon]

Then you juxtapose that with, like, Tiger flipped his card. He was just, like, walking in the woods. Like, she's talking to the president

[Titus]

on

[Brandon]

the phone with the president. What you doing there, Kyle?

[Kyle]

What's the. What's the Shanahan situation? Big cat.

[Jay]

Why.

[Kyle]

Why is everyone. Yeah, it's being weird about that.

[Brandon]

It's weird. Well, it was weird that it didn't get reported when it happened.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And then I. I. Everything I've read, he was at fault, but the police report said he was gone.

[Titus]

After all that hard work.

[Dana]

Does anyone know how to stabilize a tripod? It's been up all week, and.

[Titus]

No, I just tucked mine under my chair.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I don't know. He. He talked to reporters yesterday, being like, hey, it was my fault. I don't know why it said it was her.

[Kyle]

Yeah,

[Brandon]

yeah. He was reaching for his phone.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Brandon]

The whole thing is weird, though, because you'd think, like, a very famous. This pro football coach gets in a car accident. That's news right away.

[Kyle]

Right? Right.

[Brandon]

Especially if, like, it's not like a fender bender. It's like he went to the hospital. He was, like, severely concussed. Almost lost his eye, I think. Whoa. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Very strange.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

People. People knew about this and just didn't report it.

[Brandon]

Sounds like there were some reporters that might have known and they didn't report it, which is also weird.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Has. If he was in a situation like Romo allegedly is, where he was operating under the influence, which I'm not saying he was, but I'm asking hypothetical.

[Kate]

He.

[Steve]

He wouldn't get terminated, Right.

[Brandon]

Well, he might go to the jail. Then I would assume he would maybe get terminated.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Like kill.

[Brandon]

I mean, if you hit someone when you're. And I don't think Shanahan. I. I don't think he was under the influence, but if you hit someone when you're under the influence, you could you. I think you go to jail.

[Titus]

Manslaughter.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Hurt somebody.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Where.

[Nick]

Where did it happen?

[Brandon]

Right by his house in, like, San Jose, I think.

[Titus]

I don't think they would fire him

[Brandon]

if he went to jail just for

[Titus]

a DUI or for him.

[Brandon]

I don't know. He would. I. I feel like that would be a resigned situation.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You can't have a guy in an NFL locker room.

[Titus]

Yeah, you're right.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That'd be crazy.

[Kyle]

You'd lose the locker room.

[Titus]

Yeah. All the respect gone.

[Nick]

What if you brought a puppy in, though?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

As a deflection. That Dana did it. Grapes learned from you.

[Kate]

I know. That's my. He's my friend.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Right.

[Titus]

I think he saw. Do you think there's a chance he saw. He's, like, perfect.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Titus]

I do, too.

[Brandon]

I was saying on pmt, I don't know why coaches don't do that. Like, during the game, I was thinking, have a puppy next to you during

[Kate]

the game, I was thinking, like, if Mincy or whoever is in hot water, they can just use my dog.

[Brandon]

You don't want to do.

[Titus]

He would do something wrong.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Look at that. Look he's given.

[Brandon]

I do have a Mincy situation right now. Apparently, he's trying to book a. Get us to pay for a flight for him to go to Nashville for Week 1 college football because the barstool bar needs him.

[Dana]

That is true.

[Brandon]

Yeah. My have to follow up on that.

[Kate]

Viny stock is hot right now, though.

[Mikey Betts]

It is.

[Brandon]

That's when he's going to start slipping up, though.

[Kate]

I know.

[Titus]

A little too close.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Once he gets a little confidence, he's going to.

[Brandon]

Oh, there he is.

[Kate]

There he is.

[Titus]

Can I come in? You want to come in?

[Kyle]

What are you saying, Miny?

[Nick]

What are you saying?

[Titus]

Boy big.

[Kyle]

Boy big in the well here.

[Titus]

Get it.

[Dana]

We'll get it.

[Brandon]

Big it. Yeah, show it to us.

[Kyle]

She's stuck in a well.

[Dana]

Act it out.

[Titus]

Act it out, Mince.

[Brandon]

I'm a big wheeling bigot. Two words.

[Kyle]

Okay, Mince, what are you saying?

[Kate]

You just gave up.

[Nick]

Okay, go ahead, act it out, Mincy.

[Brandon]

Yeah, all right. So you act it out, Mincy.

[Titus]

Liam.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

No.

[Titus]

Mincy, you have to act it out. Talking.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

We can't hear you.

[Brandon]

What's going on?

[Jay]

I think he's watching SpongeBob.

[Nick]

Okay, okay.

[Brandon]

All right, here we go. Mouth, mouth, ear, head.

[Nick]

Chin punch. He's taking one on the chin.

[Kyle]

Running the football.

[Nick]

He's thinking about it.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Football.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Football.

[Nick]

Oh, my God.

[Titus]

Football cheering.

[Kate]

Ole Miss.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Oh, he's.

[Titus]

Well, no, we know what it's for.

[Brandon]

We know what it's for. We just don't believe that.

[Kyle]

Money, money, money, money. I give me money.

[Brandon]

I. My. My counter argument, Mincy, would be, I think the barstool Nashville bar is going to make money that weekend with or without you.

[Kate]

Nope.

[Brandon]

Oh, no. Oh, that's not what I wanted.

[Jay]

Here we go.

[Brandon]

Spin the wheel. Spin the wheel. Spin the wheel.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Spin the wheel.

[Kyle]

Quick, quick.

[Jay]

Wait, no.

[Titus]

Let's just react like the show's ever and just have the screen up.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Means he's gonna go to the Nashville bar to promote.

[Brandon]

Promote sobriety. Doesn't think we're live.

[Kyle]

Yeah, he's gotta. He's gotta know.

[Brandon]

Yeah, let's do that.

[Jay]

He's coming.

[Steve]

All right.

[Kyle]

All right. Good show.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Kyle]

Good.

[Brandon]

All right. That's the show. We'll see everyone tomorrow. Oh,

[Dana]

he's gonna. What were you gonna say?

[Brandon]

What were you gonna say? Oh, what were the clay. Well, we're done, but you can sit down and just tell us.

[Nick]

The hair is looking good, Mincy.

[Brandon]

Show's over.

[Nick]

Really good. Getting long.

[Jay]

Put the TV back on for chits and gales.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Said, we will pay for you to

[Brandon]

come down because I'm hosting the Ole Miss alumni pregame on Sunday. Because it's a Sunday thing. Cuz the game's Sunday night. The bar is going to pay for you.

[Dana]

Yeah, they were.

[Brandon]

Because they said you brought so many people in Scottsdale. We want to pay for you to come down the whole weekend. Can you give me the person? Yeah, okay.

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah, I'll go. I'll text you as contact.

[Brandon]

No, I don't actually want to. Caitlyn can talk to him.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Kyle]

But.

[Jay]

Yeah, but it was.

[Steve]

It's not.

[Titus]

They hit me up saying, we want

[Brandon]

to pay for you to come to this. Then I guess that if they're going to pay for it, then let's do it.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

It wasn't me trying to mooch them. Got it. Okay. They got Marshall, Henderson, and me and Tomu doing. I love that.

[Titus]

And then the whole thing was, yes,

[Brandon]

the bar would be packed Friday, Saturday, but the game is Sunday night. It would not be packed Sunday, pregame. And we're having Ole Miss Alumni association party. All right, well, if. If that. If I. If I can talk to the bar or someone talks to the bar, we'll get it clear.

[Jay]

I'll go the.

[Titus]

I mean, the bar hit me up.

[Brandon]

I'm sorry. Okay. All right.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Oh.

[Brandon]

Yep. Sorry.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Now.

[Jay]

Any other secrets as long as we're off air?

[Brandon]

Yeah, but that was like. I mean, I wouldn't have even asked. They. They hit me up months ago. Yeah. All right, let's spin the wheel. So we weren't off the air? No, we were on the air. I'm gonna follow up. I think. I think you might be right. You might? You might.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Whoa. All right.

[Nick]

This man has his.

[Brandon]

He knows he's right.

[Nick]

Got his groove back.

[Brandon]

All right, I'll see everyone tomorrow. Get your straws. Y style Escape for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

It's time to talk.

[Big Daddy Dave]

Sh.

[Kate]

See you tomorrow.

[Mikey Betts]

Love you guys.

[Brian (Apple Expert)]

Bye.