The Yak – "Welcome to Episode 1 of Donny Do Science" (1-21-26)

Podcast: The Yak (Barstool Sports)
Date: January 21, 2026
Hosts: Kyle “KBNoSwag” Bauer, Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Big Cat
Special Guests: Dave the Wave Puncher, Chef Donnie

Episode Overview

This episode of The Yak is an instant classic, blending the show’s trademark chaos, humor, and offbeat personalities with a full-blown pseudo-scientific presentation from Chef Donnie. After some classic banter, the crew welcomes viral sensation Dave the Wave Puncher from Australia for a hysterical segment discussing wave fighting. The remainder (and bulk) of the show is an unfiltered journey through Chef Donnie’s highly questionable—but wildly entertaining—“Donny Do Science” PowerPoint on the powers of PEMF mats, sleep routines, and why everything from NASA astronauts to dolphins and crystals could be changing your life (maybe).

Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. KB’s Medical Update (00:46–02:40)

• KB details a bizarre recent medical procedure to gain the ability to burp.
• Describes the procedure (injection in the larynx), side effects (“micro-burping...throat closing up, can’t swallow food” [01:17]), and praises Dr. Bastian for pioneering non-burper solutions.
  Notable Quote:

  "He’s the Jonas Salk of non-burpers…pioneer of this procedure, saving lives. Reviews say, ‘This is the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m living again.’" – KB (02:20)

2. Unfiltered Celebrity & Tennis Banter (04:30–08:10)

• Tangents on Brooklyn Beckham, Brooklyn Decker, dog-brain confusion with celebrity names.
• Long riff on American tennis: Andy Roddick’s legacy, rivalry with Federer, and “holding titties on the beach.”
• Tongue-in-cheek status of Roddick as a U.S. hero for being “the best of a bad bunch.”

3. Guest Segment: Dave the Australian Wave Puncher (09:16–19:23)

• Who is Dave?
  Dave’s a viral Australian legend who literally “fights” ocean waves to “save Australia from tsunamis.”
• Wave Fighting Origin:

  “I’ve been wave fighting for about 30 years… It’s really keeping the beaches safe and Australia safe from tsunamis.” (10:20)

• Wave Fighting Philosophy:
  The struggle is both literal (fighting waves) and metaphorical:

  “The real fights within: the real waves of depression, fear, anxiety… When you’re out in the ocean punching waves, you’re externalizing the fight within.” (11:26)

• Goal: Organize a 10,000-man “maritime war” against ocean waves.
• Hilarious Australianisms: “Skin piss” for sweat (“my bed’s drenched in skin piss”), recounting local customs.
• Plans for Expansion:

  “I envision 10,000 men from Bryon to Brunswick, charging the ocean… the great crusade, declaring maritime war.” (14:49)

Memorable Quote:

“It’s not about winning or losing… you take a man from the fight, but not the fight from the man.” – Dave (11:40)

4. Dave Aftermath & Wave Watching (19:23–22:01)

• Crew replays Dave’s wave-punching videos; everyone obsessed with his energy and mission.
• Some hosts are incredulous; others inspired to join his cause (“Fight in peace!”).
• Hilarious debate: does anyone in Australia actually call sweat “skin piss”?

  “There’s no way anybody down there calls sweat skin piss.” – (20:59)

5. Gym League Chatter and Office Competition (28:20–35:07)

• Team strategizing for their upcoming “men’s league” basketball game.
• Running joke about how woefully underprepared/out-of-shape their team is versus the “one-in-four” opponents.
• Motivational tactics exposed (telling every player they’re the most important).
• Reflections on the perils of recruiting non-“Barstool guys” as ringers.

6. Classic Yak Tangents: Looksmaxxing, Buying Insta-Science Gadgets (43:44–45:55)

• Deep dive into Instagram ad “junk science”—buying head/neck massagers, face-slimming devices, plank machines.
• Social media selling techniques:

  "App bought for $1,500—I gotta try to find this thing that I bought that’s gonna be so sick, you guys are gonna be like, how does his face look so good now?” – Big Cat (47:08)

• Skepticism about gadgets that promise physical changes without actual work.

7. Main Event: Chef Donnie’s “Donny Do Science” Presentation (46:00–End)

[Bulk of Episode | Begins around 46:00 and resumes at 57:04 for nearly 75 minutes of mayhem]

a. Introduction and Technical Hiccups (57:04–60:32)

• Donnie attempts to present a PowerPoint ("Prezi") on PEMF (Pulsed Electromagnetic Field) therapy mats.
• Glitches, reading errors, technical delays; Donnie’s on-brand chaos.
• Donnie admits to last-minute prep:

  “You ever get an extension in school, and then just not use it? That’s kinda what happened here.” (62:22)

b. What are EMFs and PEMF Mats? (65:05–70:18)

• Claims EMFs from cell towers, devices, are “bad,” while “some are good.”
• Compares high-frequency (bad) and low-frequency (good) EMFs.
• Bizarre health claims about the dangers of EMFs:

  “The 49ers have so many injuries because they practice next to a power plant… EMF, EMF, EMF… damaging your cells.” (68:09)

c. Manifesto on Wave Healing, Sleep, and Eternal Internal Battles (70:00–85:30)

• PEMF mats touted for everything from better sleep to “dreaming like hell.”
• Sleep routine: goggles, PEMF mat, 432 Hz YouTube frequency.
• Debate over whether the mat or just lying down in the dark would work.
• Sexual health tangent:

  “I don’t jerk off much, so I get wet dreams monthly… I prefer the dreams are more fun, hands-free.” – Chef Donnie (102:12)

• Mat is NOT for sex use (“this thing should remain unmolested”).

d. Outlandish Section: PEMF, NASA, Astronauts & Dolphin Births (109:10–91:00)

• Claims PEMF is standard for astronauts, so “why not you?”

  “They’re all using it. Everyone. So why not you?” (107:24)

• Slide on “enhanced wellness”—total hand-waving, no data.
• Side bar: “Dolphin births” theory—if a woman gives birth in the ocean surrounded by dolphins, her baby acquires "superpowers," but the practice is now illegal because, “the CIA thought the kids would be too smart.” (91:00)
• "Dolphin birth" graphic leaves the crew in tears.

e. Cancer, Kids (Rats), and Stress (79:09, 85:33, 110:03)

• Wild claims about PEMF mats staving off cancer:

  “So what is cancer? Cellular decay… had you wished for a mat, all of this would be fine.” (79:17)

• Labeled children as “rats”—"Put the little rat on the mat!" (86:19)
• Emphasizes that PEMF mats are especially good for stress and getting your kids to sleep.

f. Bizarre Crystal & Family Chat Section (115:00–118:00)

• Describes a “crystal” divining pendant from his grandma that allegedly answered yes/no questions by spinning.
• Family group chat disagrees: “Dude, it would spin. I remember. Yeah, from shaking it… You were drunk, man.” (116:53)
• Donnie: “But the point is, it existed!” (117:11)

g. Unforgettable Quotes & Running Gags

• On PEMF selling point:

  “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, what is it?” – Chef Donnie (87:51)

• On “Look how tired!”
  Multiple slides of stock images of “tired” people, which becomes an inside joke.
• On dolphins:

  “Apparently it’s illegal now because the CIA was worried kids would get too smart.” (90:41)

• On dreams:
  Assignment for Donnie: document each dream (including “wet” ones) in Prezi format for next week’s show.

Most Memorable Moments

• Dave the Wave Puncher delivers 10 minutes of pure Aussie gold, uniting the cast in adulation.
• Chef Donnie’s PowerPoint is utter, meandering nonsense—part spoof, part alarming glimpse into junk science, part classic Yak personality roast—with frequent stops for confusion, disbelief, and laughter.
• The phrase “look how tired” (“can you zoom in on her, tj?” [84:05]) and its accompanying slide gets repeated and riffed for 20+ minutes—becoming show lore by episode’s end.
• Wild convergence between Donnie’s “fighting waves” science and Dave’s literal wave punching philosophy.
• The “dolphin birth” tangent, CIA conspiracy and “super-smart” babies, and subsequent graphic, is a highlight for spontaneous absurdity.
• For next week: Donnie’s tasked with two Prezis—one on his dreams, one on how he’d spend a scientific research grant (“Donny do science”). Grant is “unlimited” if he can justify it in Prezi form.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:46] — KB’s medical story about learning to burp
• [09:16] — Dave the Wave Puncher calls in
• [11:26] — Dave’s wave fighting philosophy and “fight within"
• [19:23] — Crew discusses the wave fighting aftermath
• [28:20] — Men’s league basketball team debate
• [46:00] — Start of Snake Oil Science Segment (Donnie Do Science)
• [57:04] — Donnie’s PEMF Mat Presentation: Technical Issues and Chaos
• [65:07] — What are EMFs? Bad vs. Good electromagnetic fields explained
• [70:00 / 73:02] — Donnie’s sleep routine and “pre-sleep” PEMF philosophy
• [79:09] — Cancer, Make-a-Wish, and children ("rat on the mat")
• [91:00] — Unhinged “dolphin birth” section and CIA conspiracy rationale
• [102:12] — Unprompted confession: Chef Donnie’s monthly wet dream regimen
• [112:16] — Donnie’s “unknown” quote about PEMF mats (actually AI generated)
• [116:53] — Family group chat on crystal pendulum therapy
• [122:33] — All hosts assigned homework: Dream journals, "Donny do science" grant pitch
• [128:52] — Reflection on Donnie’s value as a cast member

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• Dave the Wave Puncher:
  • “It’s not about winning or losing… the real fight’s within.” (11:40)
  • “Skin piss. That’s what we call sweat here in Australia.” (10:11)
• Chef Donnie:
  • “The mat, the PEMF… this works!” (99:11)
  • “You don’t jerk off, you get wet dreams—hands free." (102:12)
  • “If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, what is it?” (87:51)
  • “They’re all using it. Everyone, so why not you?” (107:24)
  • "I think any crystal can be a pendulum, pendulum... I don't know, that might be junk science." (121:07)
• Big Cat:
  • “The best part about being a guy is when we get wrinkles, it looks good.” (53:29)
• Rone:
  • “Look how tired she looks. Can you zoom in, tj?” (84:05)
• Brandon:
  • “As a bloke, I like that.” [ref: “as a bloke, you can take a man from the fight…”] (26:45)
• Donnie’s AI-Generated Quote:
  • “PEMF mats: a transformative technology that harnesses the healing power of pulsed electromagnetic fields to rejuvenate the body and overall enhance wellbeing…” (112:18)
• On dolphin birth conspiracy:
  • “CIA shut it down. Kids would have been too smart.” (90:41)

Episode Tone and Style

This is a pure “Yak” episode: rowdy, non-linear, sometimes educational (in spite of itself), and full of the kind of running in-jokes, tangents, and unserious scientific theorizing that their audience craves. Personal stories, character bits, viral guest call-ins, and riffing on each other’s pet obsessions all blend perfectly.

Language and Tone: Casual, irreverent, rapid-fire, packed with inside jokes, absurdity, and relentless chirping among the cast. Quotes are straight from the show’s own voices—authentic, unfiltered, and often hilarious.

For First-Time Yak Listeners

What You’ll Get:

• Wild, highly original personalities riffing for two hours
• Both sharp and silly takes on viral internet personalities
• Unfiltered, unpretentious banter with room for both real and totally fake science
• No ads or off-topic segments—this summary keeps only the main content.

Why This Episode Is Special:

• Features TWO one-of-a-kind guests—one literal viral sensation (Dave the Wave Puncher) and the premiere of Chef Donnie’s running “Do Science” segment (sure to become recurring show gold)
• Virtuoso comedic timing as segments riff and spiral organically (“Look how tired!”; dolphin birth; NASA; monthly wet dreams)
• Exposes the best of The Yak’s group chemistry and commitment to the bit, no matter how weird it gets

Looking Ahead

• Next episode: Donnie will present a Prezi dream log and a “Donnie Do Science” research grant proposal, with the grant size to be set by Big Cat based on the quality of his Prezi pitch.
• The crew might actually try Dave’s wave-punching techniques—or at least use the phrase “skin piss” unironically from now on.

Episode Rating: Classic Yak. If you only listen to one, make it this.
Key takeaway: When in doubt, “look how tired,” fight in peace, and always check with the CIA before birthing in a dolphin cove.