Welcome to Episode 1 of Donny Do Science | The Yak 1-21-26

Summary

---

The Yak – "Welcome to Episode 1 of Donny Do Science" (1-21-26)

Podcast: The Yak (Barstool Sports)
Date: January 21, 2026
Hosts: Kyle “KBNoSwag” Bauer, Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Big Cat
Special Guests: Dave the Wave Puncher, Chef Donnie

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Yak is an instant classic, blending the show’s trademark chaos, humor, and offbeat personalities with a full-blown pseudo-scientific presentation from Chef Donnie. After some classic banter, the crew welcomes viral sensation Dave the Wave Puncher from Australia for a hysterical segment discussing wave fighting. The remainder (and bulk) of the show is an unfiltered journey through Chef Donnie’s highly questionable—but wildly entertaining—“Donny Do Science” PowerPoint on the powers of PEMF mats, sleep routines, and why everything from NASA astronauts to dolphins and crystals could be changing your life (maybe).

---

Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. KB’s Medical Update (00:46–02:40)

• KB details a bizarre recent medical procedure to gain the ability to burp.
• Describes the procedure (injection in the larynx), side effects (“micro-burping...throat closing up, can’t swallow food” [01:17]), and praises Dr. Bastian for pioneering non-burper solutions.
  Notable Quote:

  "He’s the Jonas Salk of non-burpers…pioneer of this procedure, saving lives. Reviews say, ‘This is the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m living again.’" – KB (02:20)

2. Unfiltered Celebrity & Tennis Banter (04:30–08:10)

• Tangents on Brooklyn Beckham, Brooklyn Decker, dog-brain confusion with celebrity names.
• Long riff on American tennis: Andy Roddick’s legacy, rivalry with Federer, and “holding titties on the beach.”
• Tongue-in-cheek status of Roddick as a U.S. hero for being “the best of a bad bunch.”

3. Guest Segment: Dave the Australian Wave Puncher (09:16–19:23)

• Who is Dave?
  Dave’s a viral Australian legend who literally “fights” ocean waves to “save Australia from tsunamis.”
• Wave Fighting Origin:

  “I’ve been wave fighting for about 30 years… It’s really keeping the beaches safe and Australia safe from tsunamis.” (10:20)

• Wave Fighting Philosophy:
  The struggle is both literal (fighting waves) and metaphorical:

  “The real fights within: the real waves of depression, fear, anxiety… When you’re out in the ocean punching waves, you’re externalizing the fight within.” (11:26)

• Goal: Organize a 10,000-man “maritime war” against ocean waves.
• Hilarious Australianisms: “Skin piss” for sweat (“my bed’s drenched in skin piss”), recounting local customs.
• Plans for Expansion:

  “I envision 10,000 men from Bryon to Brunswick, charging the ocean… the great crusade, declaring maritime war.” (14:49)

Memorable Quote:

“It’s not about winning or losing… you take a man from the fight, but not the fight from the man.” – Dave (11:40)

4. Dave Aftermath & Wave Watching (19:23–22:01)

• Crew replays Dave’s wave-punching videos; everyone obsessed with his energy and mission.
• Some hosts are incredulous; others inspired to join his cause (“Fight in peace!”).
• Hilarious debate: does anyone in Australia actually call sweat “skin piss”?

  “There’s no way anybody down there calls sweat skin piss.” – (20:59)

5. Gym League Chatter and Office Competition (28:20–35:07)

• Team strategizing for their upcoming “men’s league” basketball game.
• Running joke about how woefully underprepared/out-of-shape their team is versus the “one-in-four” opponents.
• Motivational tactics exposed (telling every player they’re the most important).
• Reflections on the perils of recruiting non-“Barstool guys” as ringers.

6. Classic Yak Tangents: Looksmaxxing, Buying Insta-Science Gadgets (43:44–45:55)

• Deep dive into Instagram ad “junk science”—buying head/neck massagers, face-slimming devices, plank machines.
• Social media selling techniques:

  "App bought for $1,500—I gotta try to find this thing that I bought that’s gonna be so sick, you guys are gonna be like, how does his face look so good now?” – Big Cat (47:08)

• Skepticism about gadgets that promise physical changes without actual work.

7. Main Event: Chef Donnie’s “Donny Do Science” Presentation (46:00–End)

[Bulk of Episode | Begins around 46:00 and resumes at 57:04 for nearly 75 minutes of mayhem]

a. Introduction and Technical Hiccups (57:04–60:32)

• Donnie attempts to present a PowerPoint ("Prezi") on PEMF (Pulsed Electromagnetic Field) therapy mats.
• Glitches, reading errors, technical delays; Donnie’s on-brand chaos.
• Donnie admits to last-minute prep:

  “You ever get an extension in school, and then just not use it? That’s kinda what happened here.” (62:22)

b. What are EMFs and PEMF Mats? (65:05–70:18)

• Claims EMFs from cell towers, devices, are “bad,” while “some are good.”
• Compares high-frequency (bad) and low-frequency (good) EMFs.
• Bizarre health claims about the dangers of EMFs:

  “The 49ers have so many injuries because they practice next to a power plant… EMF, EMF, EMF… damaging your cells.” (68:09)

c. Manifesto on Wave Healing, Sleep, and Eternal Internal Battles (70:00–85:30)

• PEMF mats touted for everything from better sleep to “dreaming like hell.”
• Sleep routine: goggles, PEMF mat, 432 Hz YouTube frequency.
• Debate over whether the mat or just lying down in the dark would work.
• Sexual health tangent:

  “I don’t jerk off much, so I get wet dreams monthly… I prefer the dreams are more fun, hands-free.” – Chef Donnie (102:12)

• Mat is NOT for sex use (“this thing should remain unmolested”).

d. Outlandish Section: PEMF, NASA, Astronauts & Dolphin Births (109:10–91:00)

• Claims PEMF is standard for astronauts, so “why not you?”

  “They’re all using it. Everyone. So why not you?” (107:24)

• Slide on “enhanced wellness”—total hand-waving, no data.
• Side bar: “Dolphin births” theory—if a woman gives birth in the ocean surrounded by dolphins, her baby acquires "superpowers," but the practice is now illegal because, “the CIA thought the kids would be too smart.” (91:00)
• "Dolphin birth" graphic leaves the crew in tears.

e. Cancer, Kids (Rats), and Stress (79:09, 85:33, 110:03)

• Wild claims about PEMF mats staving off cancer:

  “So what is cancer? Cellular decay… had you wished for a mat, all of this would be fine.” (79:17)

• Labeled children as “rats”—"Put the little rat on the mat!" (86:19)
• Emphasizes that PEMF mats are especially good for stress and getting your kids to sleep.

f. Bizarre Crystal & Family Chat Section (115:00–118:00)

• Describes a “crystal” divining pendant from his grandma that allegedly answered yes/no questions by spinning.
• Family group chat disagrees: “Dude, it would spin. I remember. Yeah, from shaking it… You were drunk, man.” (116:53)
• Donnie: “But the point is, it existed!” (117:11)

g. Unforgettable Quotes & Running Gags

• On PEMF selling point:

  “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, what is it?” – Chef Donnie (87:51)

• On “Look how tired!”
  Multiple slides of stock images of “tired” people, which becomes an inside joke.
• On dolphins:

  “Apparently it’s illegal now because the CIA was worried kids would get too smart.” (90:41)

• On dreams:
  Assignment for Donnie: document each dream (including “wet” ones) in Prezi format for next week’s show.

---

Most Memorable Moments

• Dave the Wave Puncher delivers 10 minutes of pure Aussie gold, uniting the cast in adulation.
• Chef Donnie’s PowerPoint is utter, meandering nonsense—part spoof, part alarming glimpse into junk science, part classic Yak personality roast—with frequent stops for confusion, disbelief, and laughter.
• The phrase “look how tired” (“can you zoom in on her, tj?” [84:05]) and its accompanying slide gets repeated and riffed for 20+ minutes—becoming show lore by episode’s end.
• Wild convergence between Donnie’s “fighting waves” science and Dave’s literal wave punching philosophy.
• The “dolphin birth” tangent, CIA conspiracy and “super-smart” babies, and subsequent graphic, is a highlight for spontaneous absurdity.
• For next week: Donnie’s tasked with two Prezis—one on his dreams, one on how he’d spend a scientific research grant (“Donny do science”). Grant is “unlimited” if he can justify it in Prezi form.

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:46] — KB’s medical story about learning to burp
• [09:16] — Dave the Wave Puncher calls in
• [11:26] — Dave’s wave fighting philosophy and “fight within"
• [19:23] — Crew discusses the wave fighting aftermath
• [28:20] — Men’s league basketball team debate
• [46:00] — Start of Snake Oil Science Segment (Donnie Do Science)
• [57:04] — Donnie’s PEMF Mat Presentation: Technical Issues and Chaos
• [65:07] — What are EMFs? Bad vs. Good electromagnetic fields explained
• [70:00 / 73:02] — Donnie’s sleep routine and “pre-sleep” PEMF philosophy
• [79:09] — Cancer, Make-a-Wish, and children ("rat on the mat")
• [91:00] — Unhinged “dolphin birth” section and CIA conspiracy rationale
• [102:12] — Unprompted confession: Chef Donnie’s monthly wet dream regimen
• [112:16] — Donnie’s “unknown” quote about PEMF mats (actually AI generated)
• [116:53] — Family group chat on crystal pendulum therapy
• [122:33] — All hosts assigned homework: Dream journals, "Donny do science" grant pitch
• [128:52] — Reflection on Donnie’s value as a cast member

---

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• Dave the Wave Puncher:
  • “It’s not about winning or losing… the real fight’s within.” (11:40)
  • “Skin piss. That’s what we call sweat here in Australia.” (10:11)
• Chef Donnie:
  • “The mat, the PEMF… this works!” (99:11)
  • “You don’t jerk off, you get wet dreams—hands free." (102:12)
  • “If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, what is it?” (87:51)
  • “They’re all using it. Everyone, so why not you?” (107:24)
  • "I think any crystal can be a pendulum, pendulum... I don't know, that might be junk science." (121:07)
• Big Cat:
  • “The best part about being a guy is when we get wrinkles, it looks good.” (53:29)
• Rone:
  • “Look how tired she looks. Can you zoom in, tj?” (84:05)
• Brandon:
  • “As a bloke, I like that.” [ref: “as a bloke, you can take a man from the fight…”] (26:45)
• Donnie’s AI-Generated Quote:
  • “PEMF mats: a transformative technology that harnesses the healing power of pulsed electromagnetic fields to rejuvenate the body and overall enhance wellbeing…” (112:18)
• On dolphin birth conspiracy:
  • “CIA shut it down. Kids would have been too smart.” (90:41)

---

Episode Tone and Style

This is a pure “Yak” episode: rowdy, non-linear, sometimes educational (in spite of itself), and full of the kind of running in-jokes, tangents, and unserious scientific theorizing that their audience craves. Personal stories, character bits, viral guest call-ins, and riffing on each other’s pet obsessions all blend perfectly.

Language and Tone: Casual, irreverent, rapid-fire, packed with inside jokes, absurdity, and relentless chirping among the cast. Quotes are straight from the show’s own voices—authentic, unfiltered, and often hilarious.

---

For First-Time Yak Listeners

What You’ll Get:

• Wild, highly original personalities riffing for two hours
• Both sharp and silly takes on viral internet personalities
• Unfiltered, unpretentious banter with room for both real and totally fake science
• No ads or off-topic segments—this summary keeps only the main content.

Why This Episode Is Special:

• Features TWO one-of-a-kind guests—one literal viral sensation (Dave the Wave Puncher) and the premiere of Chef Donnie’s running “Do Science” segment (sure to become recurring show gold)
• Virtuoso comedic timing as segments riff and spiral organically (“Look how tired!”; dolphin birth; NASA; monthly wet dreams)
• Exposes the best of The Yak’s group chemistry and commitment to the bit, no matter how weird it gets

---

Looking Ahead

• Next episode: Donnie will present a Prezi dream log and a “Donnie Do Science” research grant proposal, with the grant size to be set by Big Cat based on the quality of his Prezi pitch.
• The crew might actually try Dave’s wave-punching techniques—or at least use the phrase “skin piss” unironically from now on.

---

Episode Rating: Classic Yak. If you only listen to one, make it this.
Key takeaway: When in doubt, “look how tired,” fight in peace, and always check with the CIA before birthing in a dolphin cove.

---

Transcript

[A]

Hey, yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us.

[B]

Mandible.

[C]

Hello, it's the yak. Welcome in. Stel Coffee dot com. Stelue Coffee dot com. Go check it out right now. We got the ready to drink cans. We got the cold brews, the K cups, we got the grounds. We got everything. Stella blue coffee.com. save some dogs. Stell blue coffee dot com. Hello, everyone. KB is back.

[A]

Welcome back, Dean.

[C]

Boy, we were nervous about you.

[D]

Tell us everything.

[C]

Everything.

[E]

So much to say.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Not yet. So I have to wait, like, one to five days.

[C]

Oh, whoa. Okay, one.

[E]

And then I'll start micro burping. These are involuntary. And then my throat is going to close a little bit, and I won't be able to swallow solid foods, which is.

[C]

Wait. What a bird.

[F]

This sounds way worse than what was actually afflicting you.

[E]

One of the muscles will go limp from the injection. And when I swallow food, it will feel like it's stuck in my throat.

[C]

Oh.

[E]

Wash it down with water.

[D]

Did they tell you this before?

[E]

Right before. So not like a few days before, weeks or months. And then there's a chance it's not the. The most common thing, but I'll get laryngospasms, which were described as profoundly frightening but not dangerous. It's going to feel like my throat closes up and I'm unable to breathe.

[F]

Sounds awful, Kyle.

[C]

The worst that's ever.

[E]

Dr. Bastian told me to. Don't freak out. And don't call 911, no matter how badly you think you need to, and just let it pass.

[F]

At least he can burp now.

[A]

Shout out, Dr. Bass.

[E]

A rare side effect. No, shout out to him for real. He is like a Jonas Salk of non burpers. He is the pioneer of this procedure. He is saving. According to the reviews, everyone's like, this is the best decision I've ever made. I'm living again. This is the next chapter of my life. I feel free again.

[F]

Wow.

[C]

And you are in pain right now?

[E]

A little sore? Not really.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

It was a peculiar. It was a weird procedure. It was a weird sensation.

[C]

So they numbed your boat?

[E]

Yeah, didn't I? Thought I was gonna go under for some reason, but it was just, you know, at the association, in the office, at the organization, at the Federation. Yeah, yeah. And yeah. Numbed with lidocaine, which kind of hurt. Super weird sensations all around.

[G]

Blew it.

[B]

Shot up in Your mouth.

[G]

How do they do in your neck?

[E]

A shot with like a 50 millimeter Teflon needle. Through the front. Directly in the front.

[G]

Oh, in the side.

[C]

Kyle.

[E]

By the larynx. So it wasn't like painful, but it was like really uncomfortable because you don't want to feel like your throat is numb. And something's up with that because it's like, you know, the pathway of life.

[B]

Certainly.

[E]

Pain level 5 out of 10 sensation. Horrible pressure that shot up like. And then into my ear. But brief. And if it does what it says, it's going to do 100% worth it.

[D]

So.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

Waiting on the burps.

[C]

Waiting on the burps. I just keep waiting.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

And a lot of people apparently suffer from this.

[C]

Waiting on a burp to come. That.

[E]

Yeah. It's a. Like a parody of John May. John May.

[F]

He may. Fired it. Yeah.

[E]

Is he still single?

[A]

I don't.

[B]

He was spotted at a bistro in LA with blank. I'm blanking on her name. But he has been seen out and about.

[F]

Is it. Wow, cats.

[G]

You can do better than some stingler.

[B]

Perhaps.

[E]

Yeah, I remember that.

[B]

Something like that.

[F]

Which cat stink was.

[C]

I got a question. Is Brooklyn Beckham just. He's just a wimp. Well, my parents don't like me.

[F]

Was Brooklyn Beckham.

[A]

That's a. David Beckham and his posh boys.

[B]

Well, apparently Victoria cucked the. Their. The couple's first dance with Mark Anthony and was like kind of grinding on him. Lingerie dress.

[A]

She was grinding on. Shining on Mark Anthony, her son.

[C]

Do you guys have the same. By the way, do you guys have.

[A]

No, that's Ricky Martin.

[C]

The same affliction. I call it dog brain. I have dog brain. I read this entire thing on Instagram of Brooklyn Beckham and the entire time because of the existence of Brooklyn Decker. I assume Brooklyn Beckham was a hot chick. And I thought it was. They didn't agree with the lesbian couple.

[D]

That's exactly.

[C]

And then I got to the end and I googled him and I was like, oh, that's a dude. Dog brain. Total dog brain. You have one name of a hot chick and then you just assume every single person named that is also a hot chick.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, Brooklyn is like a very super hot chick.

[D]

Hot.

[F]

Right.

[D]

I still think Brooklyn Beckham's a hot chick.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Even as we're even.

[G]

No, it sounds really.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. But it's like a. A dude who's. He's a chef or is he.

[C]

I don't even know.

[D]

What's his point? Of, no, he's. Why is he parents are being mean.

[C]

To him because his parents don't like his lesbian lover.

[B]

He's got a smoking hot wife.

[D]

He's got a book coming out. Why is he. Why is he saying the stuff now?

[C]

It's just, I don't know, they control the media against him or something.

[A]

How old is he?

[C]

26. He's married to a. Basically a supermodel who's also a billionaire.

[F]

What?

[C]

And he's like, well, my parent, guess what, dude? If you're married to a super, super model billionaire, who gives a fuck if his parents like it or not?

[F]

There can't be a better life than what you just described.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Growing up the son of.

[C]

Well, that part might suck from what he was saying.

[B]

He said they made everything a photo op. And so the family, they make them look perfect, but there was stuff he didn't want to do or whatever. And it's like he went to fly out for his dad's birthday. David Beckham, ever heard of him? And David Beckham wouldn't just hang out with them. It was only at events where there was photographers and stuff like that.

[C]

It sounds like David Beckham doesn't like his son. That's also okay.

[B]

And then they ruined the wedding. The parents. The Beckham's ruined Brooklyn's wedding to the supermodel so that they went and had a second wedding and didn't even invite the Beckhams.

[F]

Oh, they had a second wedding.

[B]

Vow renewal within their first.

[C]

But people are very impassioned about it.

[F]

Okay, but back to Brooklyn Decker. Do you remember her walking out of the. Oh, the water on the Adam Sandler movie?

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Is she still. She's still modeling. She's still.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

And still attract Andy Roddick.

[D]

Andy Rod.

[F]

Any Rod.

[G]

Dick.

[F]

Yeah. Good for him. Wow.

[C]

And erotic.

[E]

Good for erotic. Bald wig wearer.

[G]

What is that? So are you confusing him?

[C]

Oh, that's hot.

[A]

Enrique Iglesias. Enrique Iglesias just holding titties, man.

[E]

Confusing him with Andre Agassi holding titties by the beach.

[A]

Wait, there's a picture of him holding titties.

[F]

He was holding titties.

[G]

Her titties, yeah.

[B]

Agent, some teas.

[D]

Eddie Roddick's a funny fella. I like him.

[F]

I think he does is a dry sense of him.

[C]

He also kind of like proves that we suck so bad at that Brooklyn country that, like, he's our guy.

[A]

He had a fast serve. That's all we needed.

[C]

But did he win anything?

[D]

No, he lost a Federer every Single time.

[C]

Right?

[D]

And he jokes about it.

[C]

He never won it.

[D]

Not really.

[F]

No.

[H]

He.

[F]

He had the Wimbledon. They lost.

[C]

Right, but that's what I'm saying.

[F]

Like, I'm so on.

[C]

After Agassi and Sampras, we just didn't have American tennis players that we could be proud of. So Andy Roddick being like, I went to the finals was like, wow, he's.

[F]

But he was supposed to be the next guy, right? He was good.

[D]

He's good. He's just.

[C]

He just wasn't good enough.

[D]

He's just not. Feder.

[F]

Federer exists.

[C]

Fedor in the doll.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Big three.

[C]

What did he fit? Can you pull him up real quick? I want to see how close.

[F]

He won a. Did he not want a U.S. open?

[C]

He might have.

[D]

He won. He's won a major.

[C]

He won one.

[D]

He had to have won a major.

[F]

I think he won a US Sports center commercial.

[D]

Yeah, he won a major.

[C]

Okay, so I take it back. He's a winner.

[F]

Wimbledon was the one. He just couldn't do anything with Federer.

[C]

Well, he did a lot. He got his ass kicked.

[F]

I got to the fight. That was maybe the greatest tennis match of all time. I remember that was like, five hours.

[C]

It was now Nadal, Federer the other year, and also Federer Djokovic.

[F]

You're just saying things.

[D]

Other year, that one year, Alcaraz Center.

[C]

Yeah, that was French Open. Oh, and the one they did before that.

[F]

I think that Roddick. Federer was pretty goddamn good. Remember watching that one of all time.

[C]

Oh, he won. Okay.

[G]

All right, good.

[F]

Looks like I know everything about.

[C]

Let's go.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Good job, Andy Roddick.

[F]

And he held titties on the beach.

[C]

And he held titties on a beach.

[G]

Check your text pickup.

[F]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, we got. We got the wave puncher.

[A]

What?

[C]

Yeah. Dave. What's up, dude?

[H]

Hey. Gone, fellas.

[C]

Dude. What? Well, so I found.

[G]

Has no idea who this is.

[C]

No. Wasn't here yesterday. I found you on my algorithm yesterday. You're the coolest dude ever.

[G]

What?

[C]

Can you explain to us why you. How you decided to start? Also, can you switch your phone sideways?

[G]

Perfect.

[H]

How's that?

[A]

Much better.

[C]

Well, no, you got to unlock it. Unlock it and then switch it sideways.

[D]

Oh, boy.

[F]

Oh, no. He's a. He's a wave puncher, dude.

[H]

What do you make?

[C]

Oh, there we go. All right. So, Dave, tell us how you started wave punching. Dude, I'm. I Look. Are you driving?

[H]

Oh, yeah. No. Look, so, like, I'm actually on my way to jump on a boat. I only got two hours sleep. Last night I'm actually so cooked right now. I've been just recovering from a sore throat and yeah, because I've been biting waves and some of the wave venom is getting me neck and just making me sick. And yeah, like me bed's just drenched in like skin piss. That's what we call sweat here in Australia. Skin piss. So that's a bit too rough, but like, yeah, look, I'm just, I'm pretty cooked right now, but I'm really happy to be here. But look, I've been wave fighting for about 30 years and what it's all about is really just keeping the beaches safe and Australia safe from tsunamis.

[C]

Yes.

[H]

And if you've heard of Caligula, he was a, he was a pretty good way fighter back in the day. A bit of a nasty bloke, but look, he was pretty smart. We switched on, you know, I knew what he was talking about with the waves.

[C]

Yeah. Wait, Dave, are you driving the car right now?

[H]

No, no, I'm parked up.

[F]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Oh, you're parked.

[H]

All right. I'm super safe.

[C]

Okay, good, because, yeah, because so Brandon here, he was like, he, he wasn't immediately enamored with you like I was. And I said, you forgot about tsunamis, dude. Like you gotta have a wave fighter to stop the tsunamis.

[H]

That's right. Dead set, mate. That's what it's all about.

[C]

Has a wave ever beaten you up?

[H]

Well, pretty much get smashed by the ways pretty regularly. But you know, it's, it's not about winning or losing. You know, the, the real fights within, the real waves of depression and fear and anxiety and all that, you got to be fighting them because that's, you know, like as a bloke you can take, you can take a man from the fight, but you can't take the fight from the man.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Because it's the fight within. Now this one's eternal. So what I'm really trying to show is that we always been bombarded by waves of life. And when you get there, out there in the ocean and you start punching them, you're really like externalizing the fight within. And you know when you get some real good hits and you start punching the lip of the wave and popping it open, it feels really bloody good.

[A]

You said you've been doing it for 30 years?

[H]

30 years, yeah. If you got my first experience. Yeah, I was a little, little youngin and this is actually down in the northern, Northern beaches of Sydney. I was at Palmy with me mum and dad and there was A yeah, there were waves lapping up at the beach and I picked up my little red spade and I looked at it and I'm like. And I looked at the beach and I'm like, I just charged the ocean and just start smacking it up and I'm like, I'm protecting me family and I just felt real good. And I think from then I've just been fighting ever since.

[C]

I love it, man, I love it. Sweet. Where are you going? It's 6am in Australia right now?

[E]

Yep.

[C]

And where are you going right now?

[H]

Oh, I'm jumping on a boat to do a bit of a patrol. You know, I'm seeing the oceans that a bit further out. So you know, just, just looking for the patterns because there's some patterns in the ocean and that's how you can sort of determine how you stop the tsunamis. Because there's certain waves that come in like, I don't know if you've seen that movie Jurassic park where like they get the velociraptor and they got in the cage, you got that guy Muldoon and he's all like, oh look, you know, they're super deadly. They never check the same place twice on the fence. They're looking for systemic weakness. Waves are pretty much exactly the same on the beachfront of Australia. Here they're looking for systemic weakness and for the way to get in. And you know, as a wayfighter you gotta be looking for that and you know, beating those waves down so they can't find their way in. And that's how you get the tsunami. So just doing a bit of patrol up the coastline.

[C]

I like that you're getting to the waves before they get to you. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Are you a one man army, Byron? Have you recruited others?

[G]

Look, you know, his name's Dave.

[H]

I think it's about eight and a half thousand followers right now.

[C]

Yeah, your name's Dave?

[H]

Yeah, I've seen plenty of, plenty of American blokes comment and they're like, oh yeah, Byron. I'm like, my name's Dave, man, the accent. I know what's going on there.

[D]

There it is.

[C]

Okay, yeah. Wait, what were you saying? What, what was the question?

[D]

My question is, you've been doing this for 30 years. Have you recruited other people to your army? Is this, Are you a one man army currently?

[H]

I'm a one man army, but look, with the page going forth, you know, I really envision it to become a real sport. And not only that, I have this vision for. I want to, I want 10,000 men. This is what I want. I want 10,000 men on the beach from the pass of Byron up to Brunswick. And we're there and we lead a charge and we charge in the ocean at the same time, and we declare maritime war.

[C]

I love that.

[H]

This is the great crusade, brothers, and we are declaring maritime war. And we're just going to charge in there, punch, punch some waves, and it's going to be probably the best moment of my life when I'm at war with the ocean, with me brothers by me side.

[C]

I love it. I love it. I mean, you're the man. I, you, you pass every skin piss. That sweat. Skin piss.

[H]

Yeah, that's it. I mean, I mean, it's been. It's been leaking from me all night. Only two hours sleep. I'm so cooked, honestly. But it'll be all good, you know.

[E]

You're cooked from what, you had a long night or what?

[H]

No, no, I'm just sick.

[D]

I got.

[H]

I got a sore throat. Yeah, it's not doing too well.

[A]

What's your end goal? Do you want to punch a wave in every ocean?

[H]

Yeah, eventually. Definitely want to hit all of the beaches, Australia. But, yeah, really the end goal would be just making it a legitimate sport. I'm still trying to work out a lot of the things about the point systems and a lot of, you know, a lot of the waves, you know, come in different shapes and sizes and that, so you got a lot of variability when determining point systems and, you know, but really it's about, like, coolness of hits. Yeah, that's how you should really know, like. Oh, you just popped that wave. Yeah, you just took the top of that one. Because it's all about hitting the. Hitting the lip. Sort of pretty much as the lip sort of comes down, that's where you want to just start cracking into it, sort of upper body, the lip, bit of the shoulder. You know, you can hit the whitewash. My last video had that, but it's just not. Doesn't feel as good. Yeah, that hit.

[A]

How long does it take to master?

[E]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, yeah, no, he's. Yeah, he's wave.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. How long?

[H]

See, I'm hitting all the whitewash there. Like, it kind of works, but it just doesn't really get it. Yeah, it doesn't really get it for me, but, like, you know, I was having a rough day with that one because I just couldn't get. Get out there with, with me mate with a camera to get those good, good hits on. But it's the way it goes the way. Fighting, you know?

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Sometimes you can just get the good ones. Sometimes it just doesn't really work out for you.

[C]

Have you. Have you ever been stateside, Dave?

[H]

I have, actually. I visited. Yeah. Visited Li la. Sorry. A few years back. Stayed with a mate in Redondo Beach. Thinking maybe I might come there again and go for a go, you know, maybe have a little small competition or something. I don't know when, but we'll see how it goes.

[C]

That would be sick. Would you ever consider fighting a lake Wave? Because we live in Chicago, right on Lake Michigan, and. And as far as I know, these waves have been getting away with. With whatever they want for the longest time. No one's been fighting.

[H]

Oh, that sounds like a problem only Dave can fix.

[C]

I agree.

[F]

I agree.

[C]

I would love to have you come out in the summer and we could maybe do a little competition on the wave. Fighting.

[H]

Let's do it. I mean, I actually. I might have been to that lake, whereas I think I was in. I can't remember the place I was. I visited Chicago two years back.

[C]

So then you probably did see it. Yeah, it's right there. It's pretty bad.

[H]

We did. No, I think I did see that. See that. Like. Yeah, no, actually I did. I did.

[D]

Okay.

[H]

But I don't remember seeing many waves at the time. It's a bit distracted with other things, but.

[C]

What were the other things?

[H]

Yeah, well, I had a missile at the time.

[C]

Oh, nice.

[H]

We sort of gone through a breakup. Was pretty rough, gonna meet her parents because she was American, but.

[E]

Oh, well.

[C]

I love it, Dave. Well, we're massive fans. Let us know anything we can do to help, whether it be help with the point system, help boost it. If we could ever get a. Get you here and. And do a competition here, we'd love to host it. And keep fighting the good fight, man.

[H]

Punch on, guys. In fighting peace. That's what it's all about here at Wave.

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

I love that.

[C]

Okay. Awesome.

[D]

Thank you, Dave.

[E]

Dave.

[H]

See that for the future. Trying to get little. Little competitions everywhere, get everybody involved.

[C]

Yes.

[F]

Love it.

[C]

And I love your 10,000man army idea. Like someday that's gonna happen.

[H]

Yeah, we're making that happen. We're making it happen, brothers. It's gonna be.

[C]

Dave, you're the man. Good luck today. All right. Feel better too.

[H]

Thanks so much. I will. Given this is a bit of a tonic for me, revitalizing me. So. Cheers. Have a good day and I'll catch you another time.

[G]

All right.

[C]

Love it, Dave. Thanks. So much, man.

[E]

Feel better.

[H]

Thanks. Apes.

[C]

That's the coolest guy.

[E]

That was.

[C]

I want to be best friends.

[B]

I love him.

[C]

What a. Yeah, so I. I introduced everyone to him yesterday. He. He just fights waves.

[E]

Yeah, I was waiting for something.

[C]

Here, you can watch one of these. Bit more. See, look at this.

[E]

No, it's just that he just goes.

[C]

And beats the out of waves.

[H]

Don't turn your back on a wave. Never do it. I'm gonna show you just a normal punch straight to the face of the waves at the right spot that we need.

[G]

Santa Cat.

[F]

Oh.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, cool.

[F]

Oh, good.

[A]

It looks fun.

[C]

It looks so fun. Kyle, this is a guy you like, right?

[E]

Oh, he's going out to scout on a boat.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

This is his livelihood.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. He's a wave.

[A]

What I want to know.

[E]

And that's like a chill dude in an Australian friend group. Yeah, he's working on the boring you.

[C]

The point system. We got to get it down.

[D]

Working on it.

[A]

It's taken 30 years.

[C]

Oh, that's a good one.

[G]

He is really good at it.

[C]

He is.

[D]

Brandon.

[C]

Oh, the multiple punches are great.

[D]

Brandon, your mom.

[C]

How did you not think that guy was the coolest guy ever?

[A]

You don't like tsunami prevention?

[F]

Hey, that. You know, you guys love it.

[C]

Kyle, you. You love that guy.

[E]

I love that guy. I love that guys like that exist.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that.

[F]

There's just.

[A]

You have a job.

[F]

There's no way. There's no way anybody down there calls sweat skin piss.

[E]

Oh, that's what Australian dudes are like.

[C]

Yeah. He's been leaking out of his skin.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Tj, look up Skin piss.

[F]

Dude.

[C]

He is the man.

[B]

Every sentence said only got better.

[C]

I want to be best friends with him.

[A]

Fight in peace.

[D]

Fight in peace. I love their accents.

[C]

It's the best.

[A]

It's always a question at the end.

[F]

That video kept fooling me because you could have. I could have sworn he was driving like twice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you say about that guy? A bit of a Nazi bloke.

[E]

He said that.

[F]

He said that.

[A]

He said something about a guy used to fight waves back in the day. They say. Nasty, nasty, nasty. Caligula was a bit of a nasty flow. Bad guy. Same thing.

[C]

God damn it. That guy rocks. I want him. I just want him. I just want him around all the time, just fighting ways.

[D]

You gotta get him up here.

[C]

We gotta get the points down though, first.

[D]

That's true. I know, I know.

[A]

I mean, he's been working on it for 30 years.

[D]

It would suck if we had him here. And we did a competition. We just didn't know how to score.

[C]

Yeah. Pull up another video of his. Let's just see.

[D]

Gotta get the point system figured out.

[C]

Let's just see.

[B]

There's kicks, punches.

[H]

Dave here, just about to jump in the ocean, start fighting some waves. Today's gonna be a good one. It's pretty warm, even though it's very overcast. That's all good. Let's get stuck into it.

[G]

All right.

[C]

I think that's two.

[B]

He does this double overhand slam.

[C]

That's. That's one.

[D]

That's just a one. That's one.

[C]

That's a one.

[A]

You have to quantify how vicious.

[C]

That's a one.

[B]

I think the post splash.

[C]

Ooh, that might be a 2. It might just be subjective scoring.

[F]

Ye.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Do you consider that the Wave could score points too? Oh, true. Like he's fighting against a wave.

[C]

He doesn't keep his feet.

[E]

Yeah, he could lose.

[C]

Yeah, you're right.

[G]

Every. Every match isn't going to be a shutout.

[H]

Using fists in the elbows. Seeing what the waves are all about down here. Sometimes I ask myself, what does it all mean? What are the waves trying to tell me?

[D]

Stand in the middle of the road.

[H]

I think all questions in life can.

[G]

Be answered with this.

[C]

Yeah. But fight in peace. Oh, that's a good one. He rocks. Yeah.

[E]

I kept trying to dig deeper for a deeper meaning.

[C]

No, I don't think there is. Well, he did.

[D]

It was like the waves of anxiety and depression.

[C]

Yeah. The eternal fight.

[D]

Internal fight. That.

[E]

He's like a philosopher.

[G]

Yeah, he.

[A]

And it was like saying metaphorical waves, but then there was just. It went right to literal.

[D]

I don't think he fights the metaphorical way.

[C]

What was the exact quote?

[D]

Can we get depression and anxiety?

[C]

Have we hear his quote? I want to put on a quote card and just maybe print it out and put in my wallet.

[F]

I mean, fight in peace is worthy of a quote.

[A]

I love fighting peace.

[E]

So is he an environmentalist or anti.

[F]

I don't think he's aware there's an environment.

[D]

A lot of questions.

[C]

I don't.

[F]

I don't think he worries about that.

[C]

I don't. I don't. I don't get you. I don't. You. I don't get you.

[F]

What?

[C]

This guy's a 10 out of 10 bloke.

[F]

You're saying bloke now? Yeah. You've known him. You've known him for 20 minutes.

[D]

We brought a proper cunt to the show.

[C]

And you're. And you don't Want him?

[D]

This is how you handle more for us?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

More cunt for us. Crikey, dude.

[F]

And if I brought.

[C]

This is like a riff in our relationship right now that I don't think you realize has started, because this is like a litmus test of. Do you.

[G]

Do you.

[F]

If I brought.

[C]

Have a good sense of humor or not.

[F]

A wave puncher to the four, I would be. I would be shunted out of this room.

[C]

No way.

[B]

That guy.

[F]

If I brought him.

[C]

No.

[F]

You guys would all be like, what's wrong?

[C]

No, I immediately. I saw him. I saw him naturally, and I was.

[A]

Like, your hit rate of bringing in characters is high.

[C]

Yeah, dude. What are you talking about? We embrace all your characters.

[B]

You brought Wiffle ball guy, right?

[C]

Poke Banana.

[F]

It wasn't Wiffle Ball.

[A]

The. The Rest in peace Car salesman guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, Delois, we loved them.

[F]

All right. Okay. All right. I. I don't.

[G]

You're good at finding.

[D]

You are good at finding who, like, the black dudes that just hang out.

[C]

Yeah. Those guys were awesome.

[F]

They were awesome.

[C]

So you're basically. You're now be. Wrong.

[F]

At no point if I said wrong. At no point have I said, I don't like this guy. I. I'm just. This is. This is. Yeah.

[B]

Cool. You're being aloof.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

You're being a. I'm not being aloof and obtuse.

[A]

You have your passport, right?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

You're gonna have to go out there, see what it's all about.

[F]

I. I have always wanted to go to Australia, actually. Yeah. Italy.

[C]

You're being a real sausage sizzle.

[F]

Well, no. Are you looking up Australian phrases?

[A]

Australian.

[F]

Yes, you are, dude.

[B]

Make that the trip with your kids.

[F]

This summer to Australia.

[D]

Australia?

[B]

Well, I guess it'd be winter there.

[F]

The second vote came in yesterday. It was, I want to go to the beach or the mountains.

[A]

Beach with the mountains.

[F]

Beach or the mountains?

[D]

Oh, that was. That was all. That was a little vague entirety of the.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

California.

[F]

Yeah. No, this guy. This guy is. It's cool. I do like his. I do like his voice. I'm a sucker for an Australian voice.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

I think he was driving a Jeep.

[D]

Brandon, you might have an opportunity.

[H]

It's not about winning or losing.

[C]

Okay.

[H]

You know, the. The real fights within the real waves of depression and fear and anxiety and all that, you got to be fighting them because that's, you know, like, as a bloke, you can take. You can take a man from the fight, but you can't take the fight from the man.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Because it's the fight within. Now this.

[C]

That's. That's it.

[A]

It's deep.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

As a bloke, I like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You're a wanker.

[F]

I don't want. Stop. Stop looking up Australian phrases.

[C]

Wit.

[F]

I'm not a wit.

[A]

No, that's a timeless one.

[G]

That's good.

[C]

Do you got a dead dingo's dick up you?

[A]

I spoke too soon.

[F]

I do have a dead dingoes saying that.

[E]

The accent, it's so perfect.

[C]

A drongo. You're a drongo.

[F]

I'm not a drongo.

[E]

It's authentic. Like, that's how they are. Yeah, he. That's like driving Uber.

[F]

Well, you asked the question. What's his job? I don't think he has the job. I think this is what he does.

[C]

Exactly.

[E]

That's why it's so funny.

[C]

You're being a Derek.

[F]

Oh, okay. That's a little.

[A]

What is Derek?

[C]

I don't know. I'm just. I just googled Australia a little bit much. Dead thing. Dead dingoes dick up. Yeah, that guy rocks.

[F]

Six a.m. there, huh?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Off a sore throat in the summer. 6am in the summer.

[D]

It's tomorrow, right?

[F]

It's tomorrow.

[D]

Tomorrow.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

It's crazy. Oh, that's crazy to think about. It's tomorrow already.

[F]

Yeah. He's in.

[D]

He's in the day.

[F]

The 21st. Yeah.

[B]

Is that our first guest ever from the future?

[C]

Yeah, in the future tomorrow.

[F]

Yes. We've never gone that far east.

[G]

No, I don't think.

[C]

I think it might be a no. We had the Australian guys who were here.

[F]

Remember that? Oh, but they came to us.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

New Zealand black shirts. Well, they were. It came to us too.

[B]

Yeah, they came here.

[F]

Yeah. They traveled in we. Into the past.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

In the future.

[C]

Big game tonight. Yeah.

[F]

You guys have really been working.

[C]

I'm very nervous that the team we're playing is just going to load their roster against us.

[F]

That's definitely what we have.

[C]

No chance.

[E]

I think this is.

[F]

I think Titus is playing for the other team.

[C]

It's going to be a problem.

[D]

They've recruited me. Show up and play for them.

[A]

This team is one in four.

[C]

Yeah, we're ready, though. I think our. Mentally, we're in a good spot.

[A]

One in four is so much better than you guys. I will say, unquantifiably better than you.

[F]

The keystone, the bedrock of your team, the guy that you're. You've crowned, your go to guy is absolutely at. At the end of his rope right now.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Over.

[D]

He was eating chili 20 minutes ago.

[C]

He had a scarf on.

[D]

Big old bowl of chili.

[A]

He's having chili. With a scarf.

[C]

With a scarf.

[D]

With a scarf on. Pregame meal.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Chili.

[C]

I think we're good, though, and we're a good. Don't. Stephen, wouldn't you say we're in the best spot we've been mentally?

[F]

Definitely.

[C]

Yeah, definitely. Now, part of that is I have gone up individually to every single person on the team and said, you're the most important person on this team.

[D]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, it's good coaching.

[A]

Do they all believe that?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Che, did you get that speech? I did.

[A]

I.

[F]

Did. You believe it? 70%.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. So every single person has been given that speech.

[B]

Is there any world in which things go awry and you actually step onto the court?

[C]

No.

[B]

No, Not a single no.

[C]

Way more. More way. More likely I just leave.

[D]

Just leave.

[C]

If, like, it's bad at halftime, I'm just gonna take a phone call and be like, I gotta go, guys. Mikey, you're back to.

[D]

I think you should leave during a live ball.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, no, that is. That's. That's on the table.

[D]

I'm a little worried about the defense. I won't lie.

[C]

Yeah, no, well, we don't.

[D]

The installation of the defense was left a lot to be desired.

[C]

Yeah. So Titus was. Saw the end of. It was just a walkthrough today. We walked through our. Our play, and then at the end, I was just like, all right, you guys know how to run a zone? We might run a zone. And that was our defensive, and everyone's.

[D]

Like, okay, yeah, yeah.

[C]

But here's the problem I'm dealing with. I've been given a team that is poor conditioned, poor shooting, poor offense, poor defense. You got to try to focus on one thing that you can fix. Focus on one thing, and that's all, because I can't overload them.

[A]

If you lose by six, you're genuinely amazing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're an amazing.

[C]

We're gonna win this game, and I'll tell you what. If we're. If we have a lead, we're going.

[G]

To hold the ball.

[F]

I'm just scared you don't have the ball handlers to do that.

[A]

That would be the first lead they have of the year.

[C]

Tate. I actually did give the speech to Tate, and I actually meant it. I was like, you're gonna have to play every minute because you're the only one who can dribble. So he. He actually will be that one. It was from the heart. Everyone else who got the speech that was a little me just trying to pump him up.

[D]

What happened to Smokes?

[C]

He's mentioned.

[D]

I don't get how this happened.

[C]

He's a mess.

[A]

I think the six really ruined it.

[F]

Yeah, I could see where that would happen.

[C]

He's a mess right now.

[A]

Do you have your starting five set?

[C]

I do not.

[F]

Oh, it's gonna be game time. Feel.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

You look in their eyes.

[C]

I gotta see. I gotta see. Who wants it?

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Who wants it the most? Jay want it?

[A]

Would love to.

[F]

Yeah. Oh, I didn't like that answer. Yeah, well, I'm not gonna throw a hits fit if I'm not. Oh, I'm a team guy. That answer even worse.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Jay might not see the floor.

[E]

I think these guys are going to be more motivated than you guys.

[C]

No, they're gonna bring a bunch of guys saying that four ringers. They are.

[E]

Our social circle is way deeper than any random.

[C]

Yeah, but the problem with us bringing ringers is if we just. If. If we're live. Streaming. Streaming a game and it's just not barstool guys playing, everyone's gonna be like, well, that was stupid.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, we can't.

[E]

Barstool as a whole. We have so many guys.

[C]

We're pretty tapped out on this team game.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude, I don't think you'd have more guys than a. Those guys all have different jobs. They have wake wider.

[E]

They have way wider nets.

[C]

Right. And like I said, like, there was a part of me that was like, oh, I could make a couple phone calls, but then what's the fun of that? Of having.

[D]

I want to see these boys get it done.

[C]

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. We have. We do have the addition of the. We have the addition of Deutsch tonight because he is an employee now.

[G]

He's gonna be.

[E]

Deutsch is playing.

[C]

He will play. But that's. That's. He's part of the bar stool. And then I. I did make one phone call to our free throw shooter. He's out of town. I felt like that was the limit of Jerry's ringer. No.

[F]

Oh, the actual ringer.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Him.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

That was the only. That was the extent of. Because that would at least be like, hey, you remember this guy? He saved our ass for the free throws. He's in the barstool cinematic universe. I couldn't. I didn't want to. To go farther than that. Like, I know my neighbor plays basketball. He's very good. I wasn't going to hit him up, but maybe I will. You have no chance Random dudes.

[A]

I'm gonna be a hater. I'm gonna be a hater for this.

[C]

This. You know. You know what this reminds me of?

[A]

The balloon.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

And what happened?

[C]

We got him in.

[F]

You're welcome.

[B]

What time is the game? Because it's streaming, right?

[C]

777 Central.

[D]

I saw the boys posing for a team picture. They. They look so, so good. They look so good when they're posing for the picture.

[C]

Well, now I know you're lying.

[D]

No, I mean, like, as he looks terrible. I'm saying, as they stand there, they look like a great men's league team. This is as they stand there. They're not. When the basketball gets played.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

They're all huge. They all look like they should be good.

[C]

Yeah. Where we're at as a team is everyone to a man has pretty much told me that Connor Griffin is in phenomenal shape and, like, the. Like an incredible athlete. I'm like, that's the best we got.

[A]

Connor Griffin. I'm worried about the show. He changed his Twitter profile picture to a hotter photo of himself. So I still think he's searching.

[C]

Let's see, elsewhere.

[G]

Elsewhere or.

[F]

How hot is the photo?

[G]

Pretty good.

[C]

No, his hair.

[F]

His hair looks.

[C]

Hair looks terrible. He looks like he's going bald.

[A]

I don't think so.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Look at how big that forehead is.

[B]

It's. It's a little tough.

[A]

Is it not a good photo?

[C]

No, that's not.

[F]

I think it's good face, bad hair.

[C]

Why don't you leave the hot guy talking?

[A]

Yeah, you're right. I'm out of my league.

[C]

That is not Is forehead.

[D]

The old One was that LinkedIn one he had?

[F]

Yeah, I think.

[A]

Where. I think he's in front of a barn here.

[D]

Yeah, that was.

[F]

All right. So that's worse. No. Yeah, that's worse.

[B]

He's a handsome guy. It's a lighting issue on that. On.

[C]

Yeah, he's foreheaded. It looks like you land a plate on that thing.

[F]

Look at that again. I think the face is in good shape there.

[B]

So much for a good face.

[A]

It's a tough lady, strong shoulders, devious smirk. So you don't think he should change it again?

[F]

Maybe meld the two? Combine the two.

[A]

That's not bad.

[F]

The hair from another picture and the face from that one.

[C]

Oh, Donnie, you just.

[F]

You just dropped some bread right on the.

[B]

Another fun outfit.

[C]

Donnie, are you ready for your presentation? That's on the. You want right now.

[F]

Okay.

[G]

It's a. It's on a power pole.

[C]

Great.

[F]

Okay.

[G]

Do I have to hook it up and.

[A]

Well, yeah, yeah, send it to tj.

[C]

What are you doing with this?

[E]

Bring in the machine and hook it up.

[A]

We should have seen what he would have done, what he would have hooked up and why don't you ask him if this is different from the one he had prepped last?

[C]

Oh, you have someone help him out.

[A]

No, I think he hasn't worked on it since last.

[E]

The last time he was in here.

[G]

He said he did it in the last 30 minutes and he got. And then you were like, yeah, just do it next time. You could take.

[A]

I don't know if he used the extension right.

[C]

Oh no. He had so much extra time.

[A]

He has been. He's been sharp as attack though. I think it's. I think it's been helping him. But we'll see the result. We'll see the, the data.

[C]

Will you guys be participating in the office 5050 wheel?

[A]

Oh yeah.

[F]

Okay. Oh, we're doing it this Friday. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, cuz everyone's going to be a lot of people going to be out next Friday. So. Yeah, we're gonna do on Friday we have the magician and then.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

After the magician we're gonna have a office wheel. It's $10 entry. I'm gonna match the pot and one person's amazing. All the cash.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

And so we get to see who's liked and who's not.

[A]

Like stunning.

[E]

Love that.

[C]

Yeah. Cheer.

[D]

That's really what it's for.

[C]

Yeah, it's like when, when, when, when Cody or Lucas get kicked off in the. In the pop that they're gonna get. That's what it's for.

[F]

Cody got the biggest cheer last time and Cody's nowhere near as bad as Lucas.

[C]

No, I agree.

[A]

Depends on who you talk to.

[C]

Cody's like a PG Lucas.

[D]

Yeah, Lucas Z.

[F]

Right, Like a Lucas starter pack.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Cody can't help it to be disliked. Right, Lucas? Intentionally.

[C]

Yeah. Lucas wants you to hate him, so.

[A]

Yeah, I'm defending Cody.

[C]

He's tries.

[A]

He might. You just can't do it. Yeah.

[C]

Brandon, you got glasses on?

[F]

Dan, I can't see anymore.

[B]

Let me see.

[F]

No, these are. But these are. I think I picked up the wrong glasses at home. These are not my glasses.

[D]

Yeah, put.

[G]

So I'm just gonna wear them in.

[B]

Front of everybody all day long.

[D]

Dan, put those on. They're insane.

[C]

Let me see.

[A]

Are they readers?

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, they're. Let me put them on. Oh my God. Those are way too thick.

[F]

I think I grabbed Tommy's glasses or something.

[A]

What what are you bad at seeing?

[C]

Oh, man.

[F]

Where I usually just do readers 0.125.

[C]

Readers or point something and Roback Activewear. Best fit, best feel. You all know Roback best hoodies. They're not joggers in the game. But we may not know his best pants in the game too. The Roback Delta pants are incredible. A really great fabric and fit for every day. They have a really nice stretch waistband for when those lbs keep stacking on. Find us pairing Robacks fulton vests with these pants to complete the fit.

[B]

It.

[C]

The vest is perfect for the winter months. Has nice zipper pockets and stretch side panels so it's still comfortable and easy to move it. Use the code Yak for 20 off your first purchase. That's 20 off all pants, joggers, vests, and more. Use code Yak and head over to roback.com. these are.

[F]

So you read it fine.

[C]

Well, these are near. So this. If I'm holding the paper like this, I could not read a single word.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

So like this I could read. But what's the point?

[F]

What's. I don't know what.

[C]

Like this.

[F]

So I. I can see perfectly anything at distance, but I can't see words on the page very well.

[C]

So these are correct.

[F]

Yeah. I can't see words on a page anymore or a phone. So I wear.

[B]

Your eyes get so big.

[C]

I know. They also don't sit correctly on your head.

[B]

No, they're up.

[F]

They sit fine.

[C]

No, they don't.

[B]

They're four inches above.

[C]

Look where the bottom of the glasses are. This is where you're supposed to put.

[F]

The bottom of the glasses.

[A]

Your eyebrows are behind.

[C]

Look where Nick's glasses are resting on his nose.

[G]

And you're.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Here, you gotta. I just don't know. I think your head dimensions.

[F]

Yeah, I have a bad head. I. I can't wear hats or glasses because you're. They go out. And when they go out, they, they. They change. They warp the glasses. This is what I have to wear to read something. And I can't see Kate right now, but I can see my phone.

[C]

Ah, so you have true readers.

[F]

Yeah. And now I can see Kate perfectly. I can't see my phone. So you see where the problem.

[C]

Why don't you get Lasik?

[F]

Because I can't be getting surgery. I'm not Kyle. I'm not a man like that. I can't. You put a laser on my eyes. I've always had perfect, perfect vision. Well, no, it's never been a problem.

[A]

It's not just go to the eye doctor.

[F]

It's always been perfect.

[A]

Would you do contacts?

[F]

I went to the eye doctor last year when this first came up, and they were like, yeah, you're fine. Just get a pair of readers, you'll be fine. But now it's worse.

[C]

So you don't have perfect vision?

[F]

I have always. Up until I. My vision went bad at perfect vision.

[D]

What good does your vision in 2004 do you?

[F]

Right, that's what I'm saying, though. I don't want to.

[C]

Like, I've always had perfect vision, Right?

[F]

You still have perfect. Yeah, but at 46, you probably won't.

[C]

I don't know, man. I think I. I think I just have.

[F]

And that's what I thought. I thought I was just going to go through life.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

But I'm hearing bad hearing.

[C]

I'm built different.

[E]

Not anymore.

[F]

You're not built different.

[C]

I'm built different.

[E]

Probably.

[F]

I'm built good.

[H]

Right.

[C]

I'm built different. Built. Built good is great.

[A]

Built good is good, but built different is different.

[F]

Sometimes different's not great.

[A]

No.

[G]

No.

[C]

But in pretty much all the cases I'm talking about, it's great.

[F]

So I just won't wear the glasses? No, you just won't be able to see? No. What?

[C]

Why? Where are the glasses? I think they look good on you. I mean, you might need to get a pair that actually fit, but they look good on you.

[A]

You need like, a pair of custom made specs, I think.

[F]

I can't wear Rex specs. Can't wear them at all times because I can't see anything now. I can't see Kate and Titus, but. So I'll just. When I. When I have to read, I'll throw them on. There we go.

[C]

All right, Go ahead.

[D]

Thanks.

[F]

I gotta pay you so bad.

[A]

We're Chef. Make sure you bring your glasses.

[C]

He just went out the back door. Yeah.

[G]

He's gone.

[B]

Like, I can't do this.

[C]

PowerPoint this.

[A]

I don't even think he's been laying on it. No, he's been in Montana.

[C]

What was he doing in Montana? Skiing. Skiing, yeah. He's so cool.

[B]

He really is. Took a great picture of the stars. Did you guys see his picture of the stars?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Who was up there?

[A]

I'm trying to think of famous person.

[B]

My brain.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

Clint Eastwood. Eastwood has a place.

[D]

Bill Jackson.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Kanye. Does he still have a house out?

[C]

You might. Yeah.

[D]

Stars are awesome. You don't see the stars in Chicago. No.

[C]

The northern lights going every game she's having a best time.

[A]

So when does PCA need to start, like locking in.

[C]

He's been here for a while, just hanging. I love it.

[D]

How. How would you react if they kissed? If that? If like the next Blackhawks game they're at and they show them on the Jumbotron and they're just holding up their beers and then they just turn and like just peck. Or like big old like not tong but like. It's not a peck.

[A]

Wet.

[D]

It's. It's like a.

[C]

Kind of awesome.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like as long as dudes are super good at sports, like, I feel like everyone can accept you're.

[C]

This is. This is the hockey show. A good rail and Right in the hockey show.

[B]

That's what I want to say.

[C]

The world has changed since the hockey show. All. All the women are walking around being like, why aren't you just gay?

[E]

I do think it will be a domino effect.

[B]

Meet me at the cottage.

[E]

You just need to stop st. I think. I think the show is going to have some type of cultural effect of gay. Of gayness and especially, like, it's sports.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the perfect place to be gay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, it's the best place. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Dudes.

[D]

Absolutely.

[F]

Where?

[A]

Pro sports.

[C]

Pro sports again.

[B]

I feel like if you're absolutely crushing it, nobody cares. But if you're bad, you better one bad, you better hide who you are.

[C]

I don't know.

[E]

Who's to say it'll be normalized. Yeah. Who's maybe 10 years. 20 years.

[C]

20 years.

[A]

I think 10.

[E]

I just think no one would batt it nights ago.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

I thought it was going to just be like an announcement. Michael after Michael Samuels should be everyone.

[E]

But no, that was tough.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

For him.

[F]

Well, he wasn't good enough at being gay or football.

[C]

Football.

[A]

SEC defensive player of the year.

[C]

That's true.

[F]

Co. Oh co. Yeah. Thank you.

[D]

It's Carl Nassib. Good enough.

[C]

He was pretty good.

[G]

Yeah, he was good.

[D]

Right?

[C]

That's your boy, Che.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

He was a solid edge.

[G]

Right.

[F]

It's not like starter quality, but he's.

[A]

A good rotational player. Very gay.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

What's the difference between gay and very gay, Steve? Yeah, you can just kind of tell. But I mean, he was a. I.

[D]

Thought he was the opposite of arrogance. I thought he was just like. He's like, yeah, by the way, I'm gay. Who cares? And then just like played football.

[A]

But he's super handsome.

[F]

What?

[D]

Gay to be.

[C]

So handsomeness is. The more handsome you are, the more gay you are.

[B]

He was look maxing. Is that what you're saying?

[F]

He's what?

[B]

That's what the. The gays are doing is they're looks maxing. What's it looks the best gays.

[A]

They're bone smashing.

[C]

What's look smack.

[A]

They're looks, Max.

[B]

Everything they've got the jawline, the perfect hair, the perfect outfit.

[G]

I don't know if it's. Those are gay guys. I think it's just.

[B]

Oh, all guys are.

[G]

I think it's straight guys doing that.

[E]

But it is gay ill dude. Like young men or it's like a whole. It's a whole trend.

[C]

Looks max. You don't want to look. I did get from the Donnie from those pads. I've gotten into a deep Instagram junk science algorithm and I've bought pretty much everything. So it's getting bad.

[F]

But you didn't like the pants.

[C]

I know.

[F]

So why did you go down the rabbit hole?

[C]

I saw there's like a head massager that's supposed to make your face look skinnier. Bought that.

[F]

Have you tried it?

[C]

No.

[G]

What.

[A]

How does it make your face look skinny?

[C]

It's supposed to like drain your face of the stuff.

[F]

None of this. None of this is ever coming out.

[D]

Of the box stuff.

[C]

There's a. There's like a balance beam thing that I bought for your Achilles. Bought that.

[A]

People are back on the vibration pads, the vibration plates that use.

[F]

I got one of those.

[C]

I bought a plank. A plank machine, which. That's ridiculous because you could just plank with your body.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

What's the machine like?

[C]

You hold the things and it's like a pad and you hold it.

[F]

I. I was replacing the.

[C]

I'll bring them all in and maybe I'll bring them all in tomorrow. We just. We can just review them all.

[B]

I would love.

[C]

I'm just deep into anything that could better you. That isn't actually working out.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I have purchased and there's like a.

[E]

Guy with a six boarding.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

This changed his life.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

They're like, oh, you haven't done this. Yeah, but what if one of them works? What if this neck massager just drains my fat?

[A]

But like, is it just gonna push it down?

[F]

Yeah, it just takes it somewhere else.

[C]

Let me see if I can.

[G]

Lymphatic drainage.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

That's a thing?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's a real thing.

[G]

Yeah, that's like the. You ever seen those, like stones that.

[E]

People like, scrape their guaca?

[G]

That's. I think that's the same thing. Right?

[A]

There's the massages where they do like inside of your cheeks, I think got one.

[G]

I think I feel good.

[F]

An inside cheek massage.

[C]

I did the. The. The like when you chew on the.

[E]

The ball thing.

[A]

No, you didn't.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Did it work?

[G]

No.

[C]

And it just was so painful. My teeth hurt so bad. I'm just doing them all. What do you want me to say? I'm just.

[A]

Have you abs apped? No, it hurts so bad.

[C]

I gotta try to find this thing that I bought that's. It's gonna be so sick. You guys are gonna be like, what the howers? How does his face look so, so good now? Like. Well, I just sat on a massager.

[A]

Do you want a skinny head just.

[C]

A little bit skinnier of a face?

[A]

I don't think it's that bad.

[C]

It could get. It could get skinnier though.

[B]

You want to get your bugle fat removed.

[C]

And again, I don't want to do anything like diet, workout, all that. I just want to have a massage on my neck and then just be like, whoa, you look like you lost ten pounds.

[A]

You're jacked. You might be getting a lot of massage.

[C]

Yeah. Listen, all I need is one of these things to work, but none of them 6 1.

[F]

You also like to. You won't want them to work, but you also want to make fun of the fact that they don't work.

[C]

Well, that none of them have worked. What do you want me to say?

[F]

Huh?

[C]

See, what is this? Is it his.

[F]

You. The mat was fifteen hundred dollars, right? Are the other things I think that.

[A]

Would feel so good?

[F]

No, it's weird.

[C]

What?

[F]

Why would that feel good?

[A]

I don't know. I just think it like the Hisu.

[C]

Pillow neck and shoulder massager. Tj.

[B]

But then also doesn't hi zoo make you all fly.

[A]

That's a pretty zu.

[C]

Hi zoo.

[F]

Hi zoo.

[C]

It's got to be pretty reputable. I might get it today, Honolulu. And then I'm going to come in. Yeah, that's it. That shit's going to make me look skinny.

[B]

You go face down in that?

[C]

No, you go. It's on your neck. It massages your neck. And then boom.

[B]

199, big cat.

[C]

I'll do it before and after for everyone. It's gonna be so sick. You see? See it in motion. See the people look at the before and afters. There's a picture I saw today that was like, holy. It's a different guy. Probably totally re.

[F]

It's probably real.

[E]

It's just a different guy.

[C]

Yeah, it might be A different.

[E]

And then there's dudes who are AI ing themselves into, like, sexy, freckled redhead vixens.

[C]

What?

[E]

And they're making their ads that way. They had the tech.

[C]

To AI Themselves into sexy redhead freckled.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Is that like a tab on AI?

[E]

It's like a tat. Like, they're. You can see them. They're talking and delivering the ad, and the attack just changes them to. To a check.

[F]

Oh, I'll make myself a sexy vixen.

[C]

Redheaded freckled vixen.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

That's weird. I feel like you'd want to remove the freckles if anything.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I always think of vixens as redheads.

[E]

Right?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, that is true. Maybe black hair.

[A]

It could be, like, dark black.

[C]

Yeah, dark black hair, but yeah. You don't see a vixen with blonde hair. No, I don't think blondes are, like, regular brown.

[A]

Blondes are just bombshells, typically.

[C]

Yep.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

And brown. Brown eyed girls.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Yeah, that's it.

[A]

That's all you can be is a brown.

[C]

As far as we get. We hit the wall.

[E]

Yeah. These ads are getting good.

[A]

They're falling for him. Yes.

[E]

It's like this sexy shredded dude. He's like, all right, bro. If you're not wearing this crew neck, you're cooked. It has an athletic taper fit if in all places. And I pretty much feel like Superman every time I put this on.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

And he's not even wearing it. He's just holding it. Show his shit. Just chiseled, amazing torso.

[C]

Or there's one that I bought that was, like, so not relatable to my life. It was this dude, like, in a, like, mountain setting, and he's like, every morning after I. I jump into the, like, ice cold river, I put on this sweatshirt, and it's perfect because it's moisture wicking and great for hikes. And I bought it, and it's like, yeah, I will never be in this setting. I'm just like, why did I buy this? I'm. Yeah, this perfect. It's perfect for moisture wicking. When you spill a little ice cream on yourself. Your office.

[A]

Did you fall for a shampoo one too, Kyle?

[E]

Yeah, because they're getting good. It's like. It was like, yeah, they are this chick doing a slideshow rating shampoos, and she was like, head and shoulders, 2 out of 10. Yeah, whatever's next. Like, Irish Springs, 1 out of 10. Then the product they were selling, 8.5 out of 10. So I was like, oh, that's got to be good.

[C]

It's got to be.

[E]

And I realized it was just an ad for that product.

[G]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

They're getting really good. I bought some underwear that was like. Yeah, underwear. Like the underwear you're wearing right now is, like, biomechanic. Mechanically, like, engineered to, like, hurt your testosterone. Get this underwear. I was like, all right, fine. I got it.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Well, I'm a. I'm. I'm a vixen.

[C]

Let me see.

[A]

You look really good.

[C]

Did you find a. Oh, that's you.

[A]

I'd buy anything.

[C]

Oh, that's hot. I'm going to.

[F]

I went. I went from that.

[C]

So that should probably show.

[F]

Yeah, I probably will.

[C]

You find the.

[D]

The.

[C]

The. How the massage thing works? You find a video or before or after? I want to sell you guys on this. What if it works for all of us?

[A]

Yeah, we'll have skinny fucking heads.

[G]

Nice.

[C]

Like, I'm looking at you right now, K.B.

[F]

You'Re.

[C]

You're. You're a brolic man. You're a good looking man. But I could tell you have a little lymphatic stuff.

[E]

Yeah, I want, like, you. I want the lower face chin area to be a little narrow. You could drain it, but then I could actually. You could actually drain it surgically, right?

[C]

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

[A]

Filler. Can you get filler?

[C]

No, we're not.

[E]

We can't do that, right, boy?

[C]

Can't do that. No, no, no. We're not doing filler, dude.

[E]

But if one of us did heartbeat.

[C]

20, 27, maybe filler.

[A]

Why don't we do it halfway through this year?

[C]

What is filler?

[E]

Can someone come out and say they do it and that we don't notice? And then I would be like, all right, maybe I will do.

[A]

Yeah, look at that chin.

[C]

What is filler? I don't know.

[A]

But you can get it dissolved pretty easily, right?

[C]

Kate, what's your help here?

[B]

So filler is LL Beans. Somebody was asking about my. Filler is. It's almost like plastic.

[F]

She melted down.

[B]

So I checked my phone really quick, and somebody was asking me where I got my coat.

[F]

This Kate segment brought to you by L.L. bean.

[B]

Sorry, no free ads.

[C]

What is filler? Plastic in your face.

[B]

It's not plastic. But isn't it like silicone?

[A]

But they can dissolve it without it.

[F]

What's the difference?

[B]

But sometimes dissolving it goes wrong. But they also. It shifts over time. Botox is like, almost like a poison that. No, I'm saying that wrong.

[A]

Botox is the most toxic Substance on.

[D]

Botox is rid of wrinkles.

[B]

It tightens things up.

[C]

Oh, I don't want that.

[G]

Botox like shocks the animals.

[A]

It kills migraines.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Does it?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh yeah. They do use that for.

[G]

That does.

[B]

Good stuff too. But it like freezes the. Your face can't like wrinkle.

[C]

No, that's the whole. The best part about being a guy is when we get wrinkles, it looks good.

[B]

I don't know what filler is made of, but I'm saying like almost like a siliconey type thing. But that's all right.

[A]

Bio compatible substance.

[G]

Our body naturally produces hyaluronic acid.

[D]

Oh, hyaluronic.

[C]

Oh, I don't want to get hot.

[F]

I'll go.

[C]

Laronic. I'm in for.

[B]

But I was reading that over time it can like migrate right around and they don't know. We're too early into it to know what's like what your face is going to look like 20 years.

[E]

The margin for error is tiny.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Why? It's just saying. I did do the ab thing. I was wrong. That was a while ago.

[A]

Nick, the app. The ABS app.

[C]

Machine. Why? It just sent it. Okay, I forgot I did that.

[A]

I'm convinced. Those work.

[C]

No, they just hurt so bad.

[A]

But it expands and contracts your muscles so fast. It's like a million sit ups.

[C]

I don't know, man. It hurts. It turns out to get in shape, you'd have to. You have to hurt.

[F]

Oh, yeah. You're supposed to earn it.

[C]

And I'm not in for that.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

They should just figure out a way you could like go in a machine and they just zap you.

[F]

They will.

[B]

I'm kind of surprised we don't have something.

[C]

Right.

[F]

We'll be long dead.

[D]

So Captain America got.

[F]

Yeah, right.

[D]

Isn't that the lore of Captain America? Then he.

[C]

Yeah, something like that.

[F]

They had to strap him down and.

[C]

Strap down and he's our hero. Gonna take pollution down to zero. Fighting bad guys on the good guy side.

[F]

Wait, that. That's Captain America.

[D]

Captain America?

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[D]

Takes on Hoggish Greedley.

[F]

That was Captain Planet.

[C]

Clap. Captain Planet.

[D]

It's me.

[C]

Hoggish, Greedy. Yeah, you're right.

[D]

I'm pouring oil into the gulf.

[F]

We have an empty seat. Why are you standing there?

[C]

Yeah, why are you standing here? Do Steven do the Draft Kings. Is there a DraftKings reed?

[F]

There I am. Yeah, there I am. And there. The number one sportsbook for live betting.

[A]

Is making every snap, every drive, every moment of the NFL playoffs.

[F]

Worth watching.

[A]

With over two and a half million.

[F]

He'S written an ad dollars in prizes up for grabs every Sunday during the NFL playoffs.

[A]

They are turning up the stakes for every DraftKings customers here. Here's how simple it is.

[F]

Heads of the DraftKings sports we got opt in.

[A]

Receive a promo token. Place a $1 or more live bet on any of Sunday's playoff games and you're automatically entered. That is it. And every live bet means another chance to win. Place a live bet and stack your.

[F]

Entries all Sunday long.

[A]

There will be more than 75,000 winners every playoff Sunday. Jump in, bet live and let the entries roll. For a shot at over two and a half million dollars in prizes, download.

[F]

The DraftKings sportsbook app.

[A]

Use code YAK. That's code YAK. Y A K betlive for your share of two and a half million dollars in Prizes in partnership with DraftKings.

[F]

The crown is yours. The real I got a 50.

[A]

I won a $50 one this weekend. Meek Phil got a thousand dollar bonus.

[G]

Pretty cool gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER NEW YORK Call 877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny Connecticut Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org on behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass through May apply in Illinois 21 and over in most states. Void in Ontario restrictions apply. No purchase necessary. 3 sweepstakes with separate opt in minimum odds minus 500 prizes. Either bonus bets that expire in 7 days or single use profit boost. See official rules at DKNG co livemillions for entry period and free method of entry. Sponsored by Crown Gaming Inc. Me to.

[A]

Go make Phil nice Chef. How are you feeling after the mat?

[F]

Good.

[G]

The mat's been working. Truly.

[F]

And what way?

[G]

What's that?

[A]

I'm excited to see your findings.

[G]

Yeah? Yeah. Well, the it's not about the presentation is more about the what it is less about my findings.

[F]

Well, wasn't it the presentation supposed to be about your findings?

[G]

No, I said told you guys. Findings take a month or at least.

[F]

So you just did a book report on what? They sell it as a tutorial on a mat.

[E]

You don't read the description?

[C]

That was the.

[G]

That was the assignment.

[F]

I thought the assignment was you use.

[G]

It and tell us what that's gonna be another month.

[D]

Then what takes a month?

[C]

I.

[G]

Well, I'll show you. In the presentation I talk about my use.

[A]

You don't need to be defensive yet.

[C]

Yeah, well, there'll be more than enough.

[G]

Time you Asked to put a presentation together on what these mats do.

[F]

You just went to their website and got their information?

[G]

I didn't use their website.

[F]

One, what'd you use?

[G]

The Internet? The other? Everything else.

[A]

Everything else. But you should have used their website.

[D]

That feels like right there, bro. Why do you need espn.com to help you with this?

[G]

The presentation is on the mats and their benefit. And you know why we all should be using.

[A]

There's no copy and pasting from anywhere.

[G]

There's a little bit.

[C]

So did you refine this after I gave you an extension?

[G]

No, that. No.

[C]

Okay, that.

[G]

I. That's on me. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't go back, but I. It's.

[F]

So while you show us a description, are you then going to describe what it's done for you at all?

[G]

Can we.

[A]

Can we run this through a plagiarism check? Yeah. Turn it in Dot com.

[C]

Yes.

[G]

No, I don't.

[C]

All right, we just did.

[G]

I took most of. I changed most of it, so it's in my own words.

[C]

Donnie, would you like to attend Max's bachelor party?

[G]

Oh, yes, I'd love to.

[C]

Okay. Actually, yeah, we're throwing them one. PMT's throwing them one. Yeah, it's not his real bachelor party either.

[G]

One I'm happy to go to.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

That's huge, actually. Holy.

[E]

Where you going?

[A]

You're gonna be the stripper?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Sounds awesome.

[G]

Sick. Hell, yeah. What a day.

[F]

Well, how's it happening?

[A]

Just kidding. Just began.

[G]

Well, all right. So the presentation's ready. I sent tj. Cj. Tj, you get my. Did you get the link? Yeah, I'm having trouble signing up for this website. It's Prezi.

[C]

Huh.

[G]

You never use Prezi.

[F]

No.

[A]

The presentation website, have you?

[G]

Back in the day, in my school days, Prezi was the. That was the best way to make a presentation. It's like a more interactive PowerPoint.

[C]

How far away were you from getting a degree?

[G]

Are you, like a. 15 credits?

[C]

That's what. That's a semester.

[G]

Two.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

One and a half. Yeah, probably one and a half.

[A]

It's usually 15 is pretty standard.

[G]

Yeah. So, yeah, I guess.

[F]

Four classes.

[A]

Semester.

[C]

Yeah. That's a semester, right?

[G]

Semester, Yeah.

[C]

I feel like you. You get, like, what was three credits a class?

[A]

15 is the norm.

[C]

Take four or five classes.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Yeah. So I was 15 away a semester.

[C]

Okay. So this is your present.

[G]

This is Prezi. And this thing, I. I did the free trial, but I forgot to cancel. So this ca. This is a 200 presentation this one's expensive, so please.

[C]

Oh.

[E]

History of the smart. Is that your project?

[G]

No, I think those are. That's me. That's mine.

[D]

Yeah, we're kind of stuck in this loop.

[B]

Try it again.

[F]

So maybe you go sign in. Sign. Sign.

[G]

Want me to sign in?

[B]

Try it again.

[F]

That help?

[A]

Yeah. Can you just sign in back?

[G]

I can sign in back there. Oh, let me sign.

[C]

Prezi. Come on, tj.

[G]

Prezzy is.

[C]

I mean, how do you not know Prez?

[F]

Yeah. I don't know why TJ doesn't know Prezi.

[G]

Prezzy is awesome.

[F]

It's kind of embarrassing. Donnie. Sorry about this.

[G]

It's okay.

[F]

We've never done this for our guests before.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah. The door. Just use the door.

[C]

Is this your first day in the office?

[A]

Every day is like.

[F]

He came in throwing fucking 99, man. Yeah.

[C]

This door. This door thing right here.

[E]

And that's just gonna let me enter another room.

[A]

Just gonna make a hole in the wall.

[C]

Mark.

[A]

Want to pull on this rectangle? It's gonna be in another room. Mark.

[C]

Time traveling machine.

[F]

What the.

[C]

Is this door?

[A]

Is that what you're telling.

[D]

Used every other website except the website that has the information.

[C]

Yeah. Described.

[F]

I use the Internet.

[C]

Like. I think we're just gonna watch the. The slideshow from the. From the actual company's website.

[A]

It's. It's gonna be all stolen. He's explaining to us what it looks like.

[B]

That's a bobsled.

[D]

That's your graphic.

[E]

See?

[F]

Oh.

[A]

How did you get on this? Not an astronaut.

[B]

Certainly not.

[C]

What are the words just in there? Are we supposed to be reading the small words?

[A]

What are those tiny little words?

[C]

Yeah. What are the tiny little words?

[F]

Let him print it.

[G]

A Prezi. Looks like you've never.

[F]

This is what I got. You don't present it.

[D]

Donnie. Why is the astronaut on a sled?

[G]

Can we just.

[A]

Why is he naked?

[C]

Why is he on a bob? He's on a toboggan.

[F]

How'd you get back in here?

[G]

Supposed to be. Look. A guy sitting on a mat.

[F]

You were in that room.

[A]

You designed that.

[G]

I took. I told AI how to do what I was looking for.

[A]

That's AI.

[C]

You said astronaut on a toboggan.

[G]

I said astronaut on a mat with electromagnetic field going around.

[D]

What's underneath the mat?

[G]

I don't know.

[B]

They added.

[C]

Those are the toboggans.

[G]

If I had time to refine, I would have gotten rid of that shit.

[E]

From the Apple Vision.

[G]

If I.

[F]

Gave you an extension.

[G]

I know, but that's like school. You Ever have extension in school? And you go, oh, fuck, I didn't do it. I didn't use that. That's kind of what I did here.

[C]

Okay, so wait, wait. Exploring the cosmic benefits of pet MF mats. Come with me on a brief journey through it. Necessary. What? All right, wait, go back. I want to see that.

[G]

Just. First slide, please. First click.

[H]

First.

[G]

First click.

[F]

Just.

[G]

No. No. Just click anywhere. No. Okay, next slide, please.

[F]

Are you going to read it?

[G]

Are you ready to change your life?

[F]

Okay. Thank you.

[C]

Yes. I. I'm going to say yes.

[F]

Sign me up for that.

[C]

One more.

[G]

One more click. Did anything happen? Click the arrow. Maybe one more click, please. Looking at you, Mark.

[D]

Okay, I was raising my hand. This is.

[G]

All right, so this is me using the mat. This is. This is. And I covered everything up. Who did you picture?

[A]

Your neighbor?

[G]

My. No, my roommate took this picture.

[F]

Are you fully naked or in underwear?

[G]

That's. I'm fully using the mat.

[A]

Is the NASA logo built onto Prezi. Can we move that?

[F]

Right?

[G]

That's. No, that's unmovable. So this is how you use the mat. And this is. This is.

[C]

Wait, so your roommate took a picture of you with your. And balls out.

[G]

We're close. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

What are the goggles for?

[G]

Those are my night. Those are. I wear those before going to bed, too. This is my nighttime routine.

[C]

Yeah, I want to get some.

[G]

See.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

Yeah, I'll send you a link. There's a lot of out there you.

[F]

Got to make so easy, man.

[E]

Why?

[G]

Do you want to pee more? No, you'll.

[C]

No, he's right.

[G]

I want trouble sleeping. Know you?

[C]

Yeah, I do.

[G]

Let me get 20 minutes of your time.

[C]

I would love to. I do have trouble.

[G]

I know you. I know Nick. I know you struggle with sleep. I'm great at sleep. Nope. Just the other day we were riding the car and you go to Kylie, go, man, I'm always tired.

[A]

I am always tired.

[D]

And then.

[G]

Okay. And then KB and whose fit is a fiddle goes. Me too, man. So this is. You guys should both be sleeping on mats because.

[C]

No, no, I don't want to sleep on that. I want the goggles.

[E]

I should be falling asleep.

[G]

This is. You should be.

[E]

That should be my bed.

[G]

So we're.

[C]

What time do you put on the goggles?

[G]

Well, like, if I want to go to bed at 10, I put them on at 8:30.

[C]

All right.

[D]

What do the goggles do?

[C]

They're blue light blockers.

[G]

Yeah. So it starts producing melatonin in your. In your brain already. So your brain thinks you're shutting down, ready for sleep. And you. You'll notice right away you're tired.

[A]

Would it be the same effect with just glasses?

[G]

No, you have to block the blue. The physical blue light out.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

You can just sit down. I like the goggles. Because then there's no light that gets.

[A]

So if you were sitting without the goggles from 8 to 10, you wouldn't be naturally.

[G]

No, but if you're on your phone or if you're fucking looking at screens and shit like it's. You're not gonna be able to fall asleep. At least I have it. It does help. And you get used to watching this. If you're watching anything, it looks a little orange, but you'll get used to it. It's worth being able to fall asleep on command.

[C]

And then you're watching everything.

[G]

You sleep. Now, let me ask you a question. You sleep naturally. Do you take any additives? Do you take any sedative?

[C]

Unisom.

[G]

See? Okay, we're gonna throw that away youy're not gonna be using that anymore. You're gonna be sleeping like a baby, naturally. You're gonna use the mat, you're gonna use the goggles. You're gonna do the routine.

[A]

You'll be good to go naturally with all this tech.

[D]

The natural.

[G]

Well, that is that. It's natural. It's a natural way of getting it.

[C]

What do you.

[F]

Yeah, what do you mark?

[G]

Okay, back to the slide. Okay. To understand PEMFs, we must first understand EMFs. We all pay attention.

[F]

That says to PEMFs, we must 1st understand.

[A]

No, it says Undertand under 10.

[D]

PEMFs, we must first Understand EMFs.

[G]

I really should have reviewed this. To understand PEMFs, we must first Understand EMFs. Is that how that should read?

[F]

Okay.

[G]

All right, next slide. Next slide. What are EMFs?

[C]

Wait, that's okay.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

This is a reminder to yourself.

[F]

Well, this is.

[G]

My teachers always would say, don't put a lot of words on the presentation.

[D]

If you didn't write tell them about EMFs, you'd be so lost right here, you wouldn't have any idea what to say.

[G]

This is for me, so you guys shouldn't even be seeing that. Okay, so what are EMFs? EMFs are electromagnetic fields. We're. The Earth is full of them. Naturally, we have two. Okay, north and South Pole. But EMFs, you're gonna get them from. From Wi Fi. You're gonna get it from 5G. You're gonna go. Next slide, please. You're gonna get them from. What else do I have on there cell phones.

[E]

So these are good.

[G]

No, these are bad. These are bad. EMF bad. No, there are some good ones. These. But these are ionizing. You know ionizing means.

[A]

No, it's bad.

[G]

It's cancer.

[C]

Cause what's.

[F]

What's.

[C]

Wait. The H bomb. I have that in my house.

[F]

What's an act.

[G]

Dh, et cetera, et cetera.

[C]

No, that's.

[F]

No, that's not right.

[G]

Yes, it is.

[F]

Where'd you put atc?

[C]

You put ect.

[A]

So close.

[C]

Etc.

[G]

It. We. All right, so back to.

[C]

Wait, wait. H bombs are bad.

[G]

Yeah, but H bombs are the highest form of the radiation. Ionizing radiation. What is. That's just giving you example.

[D]

What about the cyber truck?

[G]

Cyber truck. I wasn't sure about that one. I'm not gonna lie. I just put that one on there because I said maybe.

[A]

Maybe Fax machine.

[G]

So these are things that you can phone maybe again that are gonna radiate electromagnetic field. That. But this is ionizing. So it's. It's bad. You don't.

[C]

Why are we in a different language? On the right again? Electromagneticas and mechanicas.

[A]

Mechanicas.

[G]

Yeah, that's probably. That's Spanish. It looks like. So did you.

[C]

Did you.

[G]

I didn't. I didn't check that either. So. All right, next slide. So that's. So EMFs are bad. Okay, but what the mad is doing. Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Health risk. Look at it. They're really fucking bad.

[C]

Talk about the 49 inner.

[D]

The 49er.

[F]

I can't get 49.

[C]

I don't know how to spell it.

[F]

All of our fingers.

[A]

He doesn't know how to spell a word.

[G]

The 49ers. This is a perfect example. You see everyone getting knee injuries.

[C]

Wait, top 49er YouTuber. That guy is not a top 49er YouTuber.

[G]

This is a screen grab I got. I got from one of those YouTube videos I was watching. Okay, look, but they were practicability right next to the power plant. What's coming out of that? EMF. EMF. EMF. E.M.F. damaging your cells. Ionizing radiation. Bad news. Don't want it.

[E]

Okay, they get disproportionate amounts of injuries compared to other teams.

[C]

Yeah, they actually don't. Statistically.

[F]

Don't, don't, don't. Stop it, man.

[C]

What? They don't.

[F]

Let him go.

[G]

Okay, this is just.

[C]

I think they were the fourth most injured team.

[G]

Fine. So maybe they also have. Okay, so the health.

[E]

What are the health risks?

[G]

It's more about the health risks.

[C]

What are they all the 49ers, by the way, the, the, the problem the 49ers have is they have a lot of good players. And when the good players get injured, everyone's like, oh, okay, so they don't players.

[E]

So that's.

[C]

So if you have good players, people don't care. Get injured, you're like, oh man, this must be a problem.

[E]

Shines the light.

[G]

Sure. Okay.

[C]

Look, that's why if I built a team, I would never have good play.

[A]

But Donnie, yours is less about physical.

[G]

This is not even the point. I haven't even gotten to my point yet. We're talking about EMFs. Okay. The. The mat is a PEMF. EMF. PM, P, E, M, F, Pulsed electromagnetic frequency.

[C]

But isn't that bad?

[G]

No. So EMFs are bad, but some are good. You can get non ionizing. EMFs are good.

[C]

Low.

[G]

Low frequency waves. Those are all high frequency waves. That's. That's too much radiation.

[C]

Maybe.

[G]

Yes.

[D]

Cyber truck.

[G]

So lower radiation is the non ionizing. The negative ions you're going to get from the ground. I'll get you in a second second. You're going to get from the ground, you're going to get from the earth, you're going to get naturally low frequency.

[C]

Please hold your question.

[G]

Ionizing. Brandon, question.

[F]

So if you're around all these EMFs all day.

[G]

Yes.

[F]

And you can't avoid them. Really. Computers, cell phone towers, all that. If you're around them all day, how does being around them at a lower dose at night helpful?

[G]

We'll get that. We'll get to there.

[F]

Sorry, sorry. That's.

[G]

That's coming up. Because they're different kinds of waves. You want. The lower frequency waves are good.

[F]

So you're fighting the waves.

[G]

You're fight. You're. You're kind of. You're reversing the waves.

[D]

Oh my God.

[G]

Lower frequency. Beta.

[D]

Oh my God.

[G]

Beta, Theta.

[A]

He's fighting waves.

[D]

He's a waveform.

[F]

EMFs are waves.

[D]

Oh my God.

[C]

The Eternal Wave EMF.

[G]

Guys, I'm lost. I don't understand if you're doing some.

[F]

Jokes we were fine with.

[C]

Yeah, we found a cooler version of you that lives in Australia.

[F]

It might be great.

[G]

I on the Austrians are my favorite people. So let's go to the next slide, please. Okay.

[F]

I thought you loved the French.

[G]

I do, yes. Well that I connect most with them. But Australians, I think are the coolest understand pemf. A new frontier.

[A]

Ah.

[E]

And what is that an image of?

[F]

What's she doing?

[G]

She's using that mat. So this is the mat we have. So pemf. Pulsed electromagnetic fields, or pulse electromagnetic frequency, I think is actually. So this is what we're going to do. So we're going to get all those bad EMFs out of your system and we're going to pulse. We're going to put good ones in the ones that you need.

[D]

I like that. I gotta be honest. I like bad EMFs.

[G]

Okay, well, you know what, Mark? You're have a short time on this planet then. Next slide.

[D]

She's a bad emf.

[G]

Oh, yeah. Okay. The benefits of PEMF therapy.

[C]

Who's reading these? Were.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

It's prezi.

[G]

Reduces pain and inflammation. All right, so what is pain, Kate? Pain and inflammation. Something you know plenty about suggested for Kate. This knee on the bench. Yeah.

[D]

This chronic pain suggested for Kate, chronic pain.

[C]

Was that. Was that a prompt to yourself? Suggest.

[G]

Yes. So, Kate, I would suggest you sleep on a mat. I would. Or at least start your day with it.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

Because you know what? If everything hurts, it can't hurt to try something new. You know, that's true.

[C]

And look at Kate. If you see to the right of that, the words, it has pain.

[F]

X.

[C]

That's good.

[A]

I love that.

[D]

But those who say no pain love that, Donnie.

[G]

Yes, well, a certain level of pain is necessary. Not, you know, maybe in childhood, but once you're an adult.

[A]

What do you mean in childhood?

[C]

Childhood pains.

[G]

Growing pains. Yeah. You know, coming of age, but lifting weights.

[F]

You know, a certain pain that you need to reach to.

[E]

Sure.

[G]

With this. We're talking about chronic pain. We're talking about pain that you don't want.

[D]

We're talking about pain should be reserved for children.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

They are the only ones.

[G]

We're getting distracted. We're getting sidetracked.

[F]

We are getting distracted. That's on Mark.

[G]

So yeah, yeah.

[C]

Mark, please stop distracting us.

[G]

These, these targeted. These pulse electromagnetic frequencies can. Can help, you know, reduce inflammation and reduce pain. How are they doing that? Because it's, you know.

[C]

Yeah, good point, Donnie.

[A]

Do you have inflammation and pain?

[G]

No, because I sleep on the mat. I use the mat.

[F]

What about before?

[C]

You have the mat until a week ago.

[G]

Right. Then I had song. You know, every now and then I'd have pain.

[C]

That's not crying.

[G]

I use it more for sleep. And we'll get to sleep.

[C]

You're sleeping on this thing?

[G]

No, I'm pre sleeping on it. I use the beta. I use the beta frequency.

[A]

Meaning a waste.

[C]

Am I pre sleeping right now?

[H]

We all are.

[G]

So free sleep. It's like pre sleep.

[C]

More potent than real sleep. Sleep.

[G]

This is what I do 40 minutes before I go to bed. 40 to 20 to 40. At least 20. I set it to the first frequency, which is the beta frequency number one, which you're getting the lowest waves. And that's putting your body into a sleep like state where you're, you're. I have the goggles on. I have the waves at the beta phase.

[C]

Naked.

[G]

And I'm naked and it's warm. So you're. You're feel you're drifting off. And I put in my headphones, I put frequency 432HZ. 432HZ.

[E]

And that's on what spot?

[G]

That's on. You can get that on YouTube.

[C]

What does that sound like?

[G]

That's that. It's hard to describe.

[F]

Can we get that?

[B]

Are we allowed to play?

[G]

It's a tone. It's a tone. Yeah. You should be able to play. It's royalty free. And it'll put you. That tone puts you to sleep. That it's another thing in your brain.

[C]

Frequency 432.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

So you put on goggles and lay on the mat to get yourself ready for sleep. But a lot of people, if they just lay in the bed for 40 minutes, that gets them ready for sleep, right?

[G]

Well, this is. Yep, that's just the frequency.

[F]

Oh no, wait a minute.

[A]

I don't mind this at all.

[E]

It's pretty good, actually.

[F]

Pretty good.

[G]

See this and the goggles and the mat is will. And you'll dream like hell. You'll dream crazy. Like good.

[F]

That sounds bad. Okay.

[C]

Oh, I can see how this could put me to sleep.

[G]

Yeah. Especially a little.

[C]

Wait, what's that?

[G]

That's the frequency.

[A]

Oh, that's the worst part.

[C]

Sucks. Get that off.

[G]

Oh, you're doing a. But you're making it buzz funny.

[C]

What?

[A]

How is he doing that?

[F]

He didn't touch it.

[G]

Oh, cuz TJ's doing it.

[E]

That's it.

[G]

I don't use this one.

[F]

But that's what you said. 432.

[G]

Yeah, that's pure tone. I use one with a little bit like, with a little sound kicked in with it. Well, any of these, they're like they last 12 hours, so it's a rookie.

[F]

Mistake using pure tone.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, this is good.

[G]

Yep. Because this has four. This has 432 in it. I like this pretty good.

[E]

I don't want to then have to nakedly get myself up, roll my pad.

[G]

Up and then go into bed. So this is what I do. I keep my pet under my bed. I slide it out, like, almost like a trundle bed to begin. And I have it right next to my bed. And I have the lights off. I'm lying there doing. Doing that. Phone's already plugged in.

[A]

You have your goggles on with the lights off?

[G]

Well, it starts with them on in my, like, apartment, whatever. And I. Once I go to the mat, I have them on. I had them on for that.

[F]

Pre.

[C]

Goggled.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[G]

And then if I have my nightl, I keep somewhat. So I can see nightlight. Like the nightstand light. Nightstand nightstand light.

[C]

Like an Elmo nightlight or something.

[G]

Nightstand light. And then I pop right up from the. When it's time to go to bed, when I've had enough, I roll basically right into bed. And that's it. It gets you. I mean, look.

[D]

And this is all.

[C]

But you still have to unplug.

[G]

No, I don't unplug.

[C]

What if you leave it on all night?

[G]

The mat. I just switch off.

[A]

What have your dreams been like?

[G]

Just very super vivid. Very.

[A]

Like an example of your most recent dream.

[F]

Dream.

[G]

I don't like talking dreams.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, I would like.

[F]

You brought them up a little bit of dream.

[G]

No, I don't like talking about the dreams.

[C]

Can we talk a little?

[E]

I want you to pitch the dreams that we're gonna get with this product.

[G]

Like, that's all. That's completely.

[E]

Are they good dreams or Dreams?

[F]

It's a big selling point.

[G]

It's a whole nother presentation. Do you. If you want to.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

I would like a personal anecdote.

[G]

Okay.

[E]

Dreams I should be looking forward to or scary dreams.

[D]

No.

[A]

Donnie, can you make us a dream log?

[C]

Yes, please.

[F]

Sure.

[G]

I've been trying, actually, because I was. I had a lucid dreaming phase where I would try. Was very, very addicted to Trying to. To get to that stage. So I did keep a dream journal. This is years ago, but I could try to do that.

[C]

I want. I want a full. So next Wednesday, I want you to come back on. And I want a full week of everything you remember from your dreams. Okay, I can do that on Prezi.

[G]

Yeah. I mean, I paid for it already, obviously. About a year's worth of Prezi. So.

[C]

So this is. We're gonna have a lot of more.

[A]

Prez Weekly segments locked in.

[G]

Okay. Let's get back to the. Let's get back to the Prezi, obviously.

[C]

Yeah. Let's please get back to the Prezi.

[G]

Okay. So. Yeah, Kate could be great.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Okay, great.

[A]

What's that top image?

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

That's a guy in a hell of a pain.

[F]

Yeah, he's going through it.

[C]

He is.

[F]

He's going through it.

[A]

God damn that poor dude.

[G]

Okay, okay, next slide, please.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[G]

Okay. Oh, no.

[C]

Danny, get back.

[E]

And this is about to help Danny.

[G]

This.

[D]

Come on.

[E]

This could be good for Danny.

[D]

It's.

[G]

You never know.

[D]

You can't put. Talk about.

[E]

Make a wish question.

[D]

Make a wish. Question mark.

[C]

Bullet point is that I'm gonna say right now, this was not. AI.

[A]

No, I don't think you copied him.

[C]

And pasted, plagiarized anything.

[E]

It's pure human buffoonery.

[D]

Danny's cancer.

[G]

Yeah, make a wish.

[E]

All right, the floor is yours.

[C]

Yeah, well, we got to do an ad. Do an ad, Brandon, while we wait for Danny. Do Tax act and leave it up.

[E]

And don't even mention it to Danny. Wait till he sits down.

[C]

We're waiting for you.

[F]

Tax act makes filing easy. With step by step guidance, your maximum refund is guaranteed. You won't find a bigger refund with any other tax filing software. TaxAct gives you tips throughout the filing process to help you along the way. With expert assist, you can talk to a credentialed tax expert located right here in the US Their customer care team is here to answer your questions when you need help. TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits that you deserve. With step by step guidance and trusted tools, you'll feel confident filing with Tax act, the simplest, easiest way to get your taxes done. Am I done? Was that it? Yes.

[D]

Yeah. Danny, we were waiting on you to come back.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You're going to want to see this next slide.

[A]

I should have raised my hand. Ask if I can go.

[D]

Yeah, you're going to see this next slide.

[F]

This slide right here.

[G]

Okay.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

Gotcha.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you reading all of it?

[G]

Enhances.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, so we know this wasn't. Well, chef, talk about that.

[G]

Enhances cellular repair and regeneration. So what is cancer? Cellular decay.

[D]

Is that can. Is that a picture of cancer?

[G]

That's a cancer.

[A]

Is that why they call it that? Oh, I guess that's a good name for it.

[C]

Is that what yours.

[D]

For me, it looks like cancer. Just spells out cancer.

[G]

Yeah, I mean, we all know crazy.

[C]

What y' all do.

[D]

That's pretty.

[A]

What you call this?

[C]

Yeah. Seeing a doctor under a telescope being like, whoa, okay. Yeah, that. No, that's cancer right there.

[D]

That's cancer.

[A]

That must be it. And you used a picture where I look. Can we get a second opinion also?

[C]

Danny, did you not do make a.

[E]

Wish because be haunting to see in an X ray.

[A]

Puts it up and turns on the light and just says damn in your body. Why is there a question mark after make a wish.

[G]

Make a wish.

[F]

So.

[G]

Well, you did a make a wish, correct?

[F]

Correct.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

Had you wish for a mat.

[F]

We.

[C]

Could have stopped all of this.

[F]

Someone who's dying of a terminal disease certainly couldn't get a mat on their own.

[C]

And you wish for a mat.

[G]

All of this would have you wish for a mat.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

You would never had to meet the office.

[C]

Yeah. You used your one make a wish on. On seeing a sitcom. Or I could have when a mat was right.

[F]

There would have had to be Steve.

[A]

Carell could have paid 30 bucks for a mat.

[G]

Not. I mean.

[A]

Oh, 1500.

[G]

Yeah, 30 would have lost it. But it's a good. It's so the matt. Ken.

[C]

I'm like, wait, What'd you say?

[G]

30 bought a 30 mat?

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

So I'm not saying. I'm not.

[A]

So this. This can be. This could be used instead of chemotherapy.

[G]

I'm not saying. I don't want to be on the record saying this will cure cancer because.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

So what is this slide?

[G]

This slide is, you know, if potentially you could rebuild your cells before you get cancer. So.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

This is more. Yeah, honestly, I take that back. The make a wish probably would have been too late.

[D]

You put a question mark. So I think you're. You're good. Yeah, I'm just asking questions.

[G]

Yeah, I'm just throwing that. This is more of a hypothesis.

[E]

Would you be interested in, like, an initiative to raise money to donate?

[G]

I do a grant. Yeah, I take a grant.

[C]

Grant.

[E]

Donate Mats.

[G]

Who you take a grant to do research.

[F]

So you. Yeah, you take the money.

[A]

Big cat, please.

[C]

I might have to fund this grant.

[F]

Medical research.

[G]

That'd be nice, actually. Yeah. Make you do a whole. We could do a whole side project where I just do science.

[C]

Yeah, let's. I would. I have one request. I would. I would like a prezi. On what you sure for the grant?

[G]

Trust me.

[C]

We got the do science prezi By. By Chef Donald.

[G]

What I'd use the money for.

[C]

Yeah, I want to do science. Like, here's what I will.

[F]

Will.

[C]

I will Science.

[G]

Sure. Like a sabbatical project almost.

[A]

How. How much progress do you think learning about cancer and waste cancer seems out.

[G]

I feel like there's sabbatical.

[F]

Didn't.

[G]

There's enough people working on cancer, so I think I'm gonna tackle something less.

[A]

So I should have used my dying.

[C]

Wish on a mat. A year before getting cancer, but expensive mat.

[G]

Well, Danny, we can't go back and.

[F]

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell. Glossing over the line. There's enough people working on cancer or.

[C]

Yeah, that one's covered. We gotta. But I would like to see what you would. I am willing to give you a grant.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

To do science.

[G]

Sick.

[C]

But I need to know what. What this. What science you're gonna do.

[G]

What field do you care of the field?

[C]

I. I want you to decide.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

A cause you believe in.

[C]

So I want. But I need a prezi.

[G]

Okay, I'll do it.

[C]

We'll do it like Shark Tank.

[H]

Yeah.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. Donnie's do science.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

Presentation.

[E]

I like it.

[G]

Donnie do science and I'll list out everything. Think I'll use the budget for. I'll make a detailed list.

[F]

Perfect.

[G]

Cool.

[C]

When can I expect that?

[G]

What do I already have one due next week?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, you get the dreams one.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

So maybe after the super bowl we got perfect.

[G]

I'll use that week to do a lot of perfect. Do it.

[C]

You're gonna use none of that week.

[G]

I'll use some of that week.

[C]

No, you're gonna. You're gonna end up doing it like two hours before the app.

[G]

Yeah, but that's when I do my best work, I think.

[C]

Yeah, no, this has been. It's been an A plus press pretty good.

[G]

This is how I did it in school. School is a little more refined, I think. But always, always did well.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Ish.

[F]

Ish.

[G]

Well, we'll wait to the end to see if you guys are understand wrong.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

We're only halfway through cancer to Danny hindsight's 20 20. But this. That's all I got for that.

[C]

But you fucked up.

[A]

I should have used a mat.

[F]

You're right.

[G]

Okay, next. An improved sleep. Okay.

[C]

Oh wow. She's really sleeping.

[F]

She's tired.

[C]

Look how tired she.

[A]

Are you sure she's not acting?

[C]

No, this is the best presentation I've ever seen. Look how tired.

[A]

See that?

[C]

She looks really tired. Can you zoom in on her tj?

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

No, Prezzy don't. It'll everything up.

[C]

You try to, you know Prezi 200. You can't zoom.

[F]

Can't handle zoom it everything.

[G]

I would have had to put a zoom feature in on. Yeah, I missed that.

[C]

But we could see how tired she looks.

[G]

But no, honestly, you know, all laughs aside, this is the reason I use the mat is for sleep.

[C]

For how tired you are.

[G]

This is this. I've struggled to sleep, you know, I I like. I was like you. I couldn't sleep.

[F]

So she's not using a mat. Very comfortable sleeping.

[G]

She's not. You don't sleep on the mat. You pre. You lie on it before you pre sleep.

[F]

So you think she did use it?

[C]

Probably.

[G]

Yeah. She could have. She could have. But that's not. Possibilities. Not zero.

[A]

Look how tired Brandon.

[C]

Look how tired Brandon.

[G]

And I. Yeah, I'm. I don't like the fact that the lights are on. It makes it look faker.

[D]

But.

[G]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Not the watermark over her face.

[G]

Yeah, yeah, that was. I couldn't get that thing off.

[D]

What did you search for this?

[G]

I don't remember. I think just super tired lady something.

[C]

Look how tired Mark.

[G]

Okay, I like.

[E]

This is a good slot.

[G]

So the. The sleep is the biggest thing I. Because I know, I know you struggle to sleep. I know you struggle to sleep, Brandon. I don't know how you sleep. I'd assume pretty well because I see you. I know you nap. You do naps here. So you might not be. But you could always sleep better.

[F]

You could always sleep.

[G]

That's what I always sleep. Sleep's a sign. Kill. Silent killer. They don't talk about that enough. Sleep.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[G]

Lack of sleep's a silent killer.

[C]

Can I just ask a quick question though? Are we. So are we attacking bad sleep or cancer?

[G]

Cancer is more of a hypothesis. Cancer is not. Not on the top.

[F]

So we're putting cancer on the back.

[C]

If I could eliminate one. Is am I trying to eliminate bad sleep or cancer?

[G]

So you're going to eliminate bad sleep and as a byproduct of that, you're going to eliminate cancer.

[F]

Oh, we'll get the cancer on the back.

[C]

It's a rundown from bad.

[A]

It passively helps with cancer.

[F]

Collateral damage.

[G]

Sleep and. And muscle regeneration is what this is used for primarily. But look, you got. You got. You have kids. You have kids. Kate, you have kids. Mark, congrats. You have a kid.

[F]

A kid.

[C]

Stephen Chase got kids.

[G]

Stephen Jay in the booth. Yeah. So this is. This is an age old question. Tales all the time. How hard is it to get those little rat asleep?

[F]

Oh, the hardest. Donnie. It's a well put rat.

[C]

Never go to sleep. Dude. It's the worst.

[D]

I can't get my rap.

[A]

So that's the angel question.

[E]

Oh, the vintage conundrum.

[B]

Congrats on your little rat.

[C]

I got three rap and they never sleep.

[F]

Dude, I got rap all over my house.

[G]

Try this, try this, try this.

[E]

Put them on.

[G]

Do you read them?

[C]

Put them nude on the mat.

[G]

Do you do bedtime story?

[C]

Yes.

[G]

Put them on the mat. Try this.

[C]

No, I'm not putting my kids on the mat. Try this.

[G]

Try to want. If they're wanting that, make them say, crisscross applesauce on the mat. Read them a bedtime story. They'll probably.

[C]

Will just go right to bed.

[G]

So it'll put them. If they're. If they're being rambunctious and if they're being crazy. Put them on the mat if they're rambunctious.

[F]

How am I gonna get them on the mat?

[G]

Say, you gotta make it like a game. You gotta gamify it for them.

[A]

How would you do that?

[G]

Say, oh, you've seen Aladdin's magic carpet. Say, hey, yeah, look at this. This is.

[C]

Hey, you little rat. Get on this map dial of it.

[G]

The dial of the machine. It looks like a space. It's science fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, okay.

[C]

It looks like science.

[D]

Would the kids take the same dosage as. As I would take? I don't want my kid to overdose on.

[G]

Put them on for less time. I think.

[C]

Think.

[G]

Yeah, but I don't think you can overdose. I for. I haven't gotten to that part of it.

[C]

I think we just. By the way, I think we accidentally just figured out something. You said it looks like science.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

And that's what's.

[C]

That's the allure here.

[F]

That's how they got you.

[G]

Okay. Okay.

[C]

A couple flashing lights in a dial and yeah. Connie's like, okay, well, science record.

[G]

Okay, well, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, what is it?

[D]

A rat.

[C]

A rat.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

So same thing applies to this.

[A]

Is there an age that's too young?

[C]

Well, what does science look like?

[G]

Graphs and. I don't know.

[F]

Would you put a. Would you put a pregnant woman on this?

[G]

I don't. I see. That's where. Yeah, probably. Actually, I think of it.

[C]

You'd make such a good doctor.

[G]

Probably. Yeah.

[B]

Would you put someone who's pre rat on them?

[G]

Yeah, I would. It's better than her smoking or drinking.

[C]

Yeah, true.

[G]

Good point.

[D]

Gotta do one or the other if you have to. I've been thinking about pregnant has to do one.

[C]

And I've been thinking about.

[E]

It's like, damn, should I go out.

[C]

Put my rat on this mat or give them heroin?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So I'm going mat.

[D]

They have to do one.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

It could be similar. It could be similar to like a dolphin. A dolphin birth where if you put a limit lady on this mat, the kid Is could be super smart.

[A]

What the.

[F]

That's what I was saying.

[G]

They banned.

[A]

They banned me.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

I feel like I'm on drugs.

[G]

Wait, you never heard of this?

[D]

What?

[B]

Wait.

[G]

Dolphin burn.

[C]

They best presentation ever. Try it again. This is like. This might. This might be getting close to fire Salamander Billy stuff.

[G]

Yeah, this is so this. So dolphin birthing, we're getting sidetracked. But dolphin birthing, that's illegal now. So it's hard to find. But someday I'll try to do it. It's when you have your kid. If you're pre. Your wife is pregnant, your. Your lady friend or whatever, she's pregnant and you want to have the kid. You do it in the ocean with dolphins circulating. And the theory is. Don't laugh. It's a theory is the sonar the. That dolphins give off while the. The kid is being born. Gives it like superpowers.

[F]

No.

[G]

What?

[F]

Nobody's ever done this? Yes. Yes.

[G]

Dj, look it up.

[D]

It's in the ocean.

[F]

Circle by dolphins. How do you get the dolphins around.

[G]

Like a cove you go to like a shop.

[C]

You gotta find a coffin.

[A]

How do you plan on orchestrating?

[D]

How do the dolphins.

[F]

Are they to trying trained dolphins?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Every mom wants her baby's birth special. But few would go as far as Sarah Evans, whose dream was to give birth with dolphins as midwives.

[G]

Yeah, this is the 90s dream. So I think a kid got eaten. Some like.

[C]

Stopped.

[G]

But there's a theory out there that.

[A]

The kids are sharks, honey.

[C]

Oh, we forgot about this.

[F]

You're gonna put blood in the water?

[G]

It's risky, but.

[E]

But the theory is if the kid survived, he would have been a super.

[G]

Like. Like a savant. Like a.

[B]

Wait, I have another time out. How the did that One article from 1990 come across your radar?

[F]

36.

[G]

I go down some rabbit holes about birth. I. Yeah, I don't know. I get into some weird things.

[A]

Hold it in a little longer, honey.

[C]

The dolphins are coming one day.

[E]

You want to try this?

[G]

Yeah. If I wanted my kid to be smart as hell. I'm sidetracked.

[A]

Big cat, you need to fund this.

[G]

Oh no.

[C]

I need do science so bad. It will actually is like gonna be. We're gonna make a whole franchise out of Donnie Does Science.

[G]

Well, apparently it's like there's a theory it's illegal now because. Because the CIA and people are worried that kids will get too smart like that.

[F]

That's not the reason. That's not the reason. Donnie.

[C]

How do you.

[A]

Or could it be Because a kid got eaten.

[C]

Where. Where do you come up with this.

[B]

Whole algorithm is like babies birth. I have never heard of that.

[C]

They shut it down because the CIA thought the kids would be too smart.

[G]

Something. I'm paraphrasing, I'm paraphrasing.

[F]

How would you get the dolphins to circle?

[G]

Because dolphins are. They're smart. They do they. You've been to SeaWorld. You see dolphins circling all the time.

[F]

They're in a tank, Donnie.

[G]

See? Look at this. Yes.

[F]

Boom.

[C]

A man named Igor Charkovsky assisted in over 20,000 underwater bursts. Eventually began experimenting giving birth in the ocean. In 1979 when preparing with his team for an underwater birth in the Black Sea and a few feet of water. Suddenly three dolphins approached. The pregnant woman pushed everyone out of the way and took over. They scanned the length of her body up and down with sonar. While relaxing the mother and swimming in circles around her, the mother gave birth. Birth to the child. Effortless, effortlessly, painlessly, without fear. This began multiple projects with dolphin assisted bursts that spread worldwide. And you. As you can see that. That is obviously from medical Journal.

[D]

That's science.

[C]

Johnny, buddy. Look at that. They got the whole. Is that.

[A]

Have you seen this graphic?

[C]

How did we get here?

[G]

Yeah, well, it's depicting exactly what I was talking about.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Looks like a bird, but this guy.

[A]

Did 20,000 of them.

[G]

I don't know.

[F]

Underwater birds.

[G]

That's something I read.

[F]

But not with animals.

[G]

Yeah, he just. Underwater birds birth, huh? Yeah.

[E]

But the CIA is stressing your point.

[D]

Is if you use the mat, it's the same as a circle of dolphins.

[G]

Yeah. How do we get the dolphins? I don't. I'm. I'm also at birth.

[F]

If you're. If you're hit with sonar, you get super smart powers.

[G]

Not power.

[D]

We asked you if a pregnant woman. You said no, not with powers. Five seconds. You had walked that back and said actually it'll make your kids.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Too smart for the CIA.

[G]

Yeah, I forgot about the. The dolphin burling. So I think the Matt. So. So my point is. Okay, what. What was my point? Put them on the mat.

[D]

Just look how tired.

[C]

Look how tired. Put the rap on the mat in summation.

[D]

Look how tired.

[G]

Rat on the mat and pregnant women. We're going to put check. We're going to put a check next to it. We'll come back to that.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

What. What was I.

[A]

You. Why would we put a check.

[G]

Next slide.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

No, the other thing means we're done with it.

[G]

Wait, one more thing. Oh yeah. So just one in doubt when in doubt, pull the mat out. That's like a little catchphrase I wanted to say so for the kids. When in doubt.

[E]

When in doubt, pull them out just for like tummy time or something like that. Not even for sleep purposes.

[G]

Yeah, dude. So calm down.

[C]

What about. What about. What about putting the mat in the ocean around the dolphins?

[G]

That's.

[C]

Now we're superpowers now we're X Men. We just made.

[D]

Yeah, that's.

[F]

But I don't plug it in.

[G]

Yeah. Electricity and water, no good. No bueno there.

[A]

Was that like the Aquaman origin?

[G]

Yes. This is not.

[C]

You watch Aquaman.

[D]

The problem.

[G]

No, the problem. The problem. The problem, Danny.

[D]

That's Aquaman.

[G]

The problem. What you're trying to do now is you guys are. You're going to do sonar. Gives you magic powers. I never said that. And you're going to make me look like a fool for being. Doing like.

[C]

I don't think we're making you look like.

[F]

That's not really the part.

[G]

It's not a superpower. None of this. None of this. None of this is superpower.

[F]

But you said it makes the babies.

[G]

This is just. No, no, no, no.

[C]

The dolphin birth is superpower.

[G]

It's super smart. But that's. You're not going to shoot power. You're not shooting beams. It's the same thing as, like this. I've actually always liked. I've always kind of wanted, but not. Not.

[A]

So you don't believe in like, somebody that's able to shoot invisible beans?

[G]

No, dumbass. No.

[A]

Well, that's what the bat is.

[G]

Donnie.

[E]

Those aren't beams.

[G]

They're wavelengths. I've always wanted to, but always. But not always. Like, you get such a bad hit, such a bad head injury that you become a savant in something. Like.

[C]

Yeah. You've wanted a bad head.

[G]

Well, I go it wouldn't be like some guy. So I wrote a. Read a story about a guy that dove head first. Noob. Gotta do a head first into a pool. And it was the shallow one. Him up thought like, you thought it was gonna be brain that whatever. Only thing that came out of it is he could play piano like moats. Like Mozart.

[C]

Yeah. There's all these, like, urban legends. Like a guy like.

[A]

Like he'll wake up speaking Japanese lips.

[C]

Like rowing a boat. And wakes up. Yeah. And can speak perfect.

[F]

Right?

[G]

Yeah. So that's.

[C]

You want that?

[G]

Yeah, but again, not right. I wouldn't mind it. If I'm gonna get a traumatic injury.

[E]

I'd like to be able to tie into that.

[C]

Well, I think we all agree that if. If you're gonna get a traumatic injury, you want to benefit from it.

[G]

True.

[D]

Would that be episode one of your.

[G]

New series is tried to get a traumatic brain injury so you can learn stuff.

[C]

I just already might.

[G]

The piano one was cool because he just. But it was a blessing and a curse because it was so much. He only could ever see piano keys, and he'd have to. If you drove by music story. Had to get out of his car and go play piano.

[A]

And then.

[C]

We have any documentation of this guy.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Sounds like a hellish existence.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

But look up guy. Guy dives into pool, learns piano.

[A]

Know if it's from the same Instagram.

[F]

Charkovsky, you know how to play piano?

[G]

No, I'm not musically.

[D]

There we go.

[G]

I mean, so you got to start.

[C]

Diving into more pools.

[E]

How does that tie into this mat?

[G]

I don't know. I got sidetracked again.

[C]

Derek. Yeah.

[G]

Yeah, this is him. Holy.

[C]

On October 6, became a musical savant.

[F]

Whoa.

[C]

Dove in a shallow swimming pool, and it hit his head, resulting in a major concussion. 35% hearing loss. Although he had played the guitar prior to his injury, the level of his music ability suddenly progressed to the point where he was able to compose for piano. He also. He or he has been diagnosed as experience a former.

[G]

Since.

[F]

Synesthesia.

[C]

Synesthesia. Synesthesia.

[F]

Synesthesia.

[C]

Synesthesia. Okay.

[G]

Okay. So, yeah, we got really sidetracked, but that's him.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Okay, let's get back to it.

[G]

It was pretty impressive.

[C]

Look how tired.

[D]

Look how tired.

[G]

Yeah. Yep.

[C]

Are we still on lookout? Tired?

[D]

Yeah, we're still.

[A]

This has been a hell of a.

[G]

It's not even halfway.

[C]

Look how tired got us.

[A]

All right.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Way off.

[G]

We'll speed this one up. So. Yeah, yeah. The kids on the mat. Okay. Look how tired babies. All right, next one reference side, please.

[F]

Whoa.

[G]

Okay. Notable advocates of PEMF technology. Tony Robbins, Dr. Oz. Every athlete. The dolphins. O line.

[F]

That's an illusionist. Donnie.

[C]

What?

[F]

Who? Oh, no, no.

[A]

I've seen.

[F]

But these are artists.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

Maybe Dr. Oz is on TV. TV doctor.

[F]

Right. These are artists.

[G]

Every day I die from school.

[C]

What's better than a doctor?

[G]

When I was at.

[F]

Doctor.

[G]

When I was at French immersion, I'd come back at like, 4pm When I get off the bus, my parents would be home. Yet Dr. Oz would be on. And I just watched Dr. Oz as a youth. As like.

[F]

All right, fifth grade. Put that together.

[C]

French. French immersion is the school you went to?

[G]

That's my school. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, that's why you can't spell cocoa.

[G]

Yeah, that one was more. I just was flustered.

[D]

That was that because you know how to spell cocoa?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, like spell it.

[F]

Oh, yeah, like spell.

[G]

I know. There's an A at the end. You're not gonna trick me again. All right, so he never tricked you.

[F]

C O.

[G]

C, O, A. Yeah, there we go.

[F]

Okay.

[G]

Yeah. You don't make the same mistake twice. That's what my dad always says.

[F]

We're back on dolphins.

[G]

Dolphin birthday. All right, so this is. This is just Notable People. Hollywood.

[C]

I usually want my science from Hollywood.

[G]

Yeah. This one, I was trying to find more notable people, but I scrambled and this is the first thing I saw. So not the. I. I believe. I don't know though.

[D]

I said pretty good. It just says, Dr. Oz promotes health solutions. Is that dolphins again have anything to do with the mat?

[C]

Oh, my God, Donnie.

[F]

More dolphins.

[C]

That's the dolphins in a circle.

[G]

Wow, That's. That's fate.

[C]

Holy shit. Is chew up pregnant?

[D]

Does. Does Dr. Oz promote the matter? Does he just promote health solutions?

[G]

To be honest, I don't know. I just googled notable people that promote this, and that's what came up. So. Okay, that was a little AI in that one as far as research. So we can skip this one because who cares if people that are famous use it? It should be. If you want to use it, that's all that matters.

[E]

Right?

[F]

Right. Right.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

And that was bought by two.

[C]

Oh, this is just zooming in on.

[F]

Did you do this? Wow.

[E]

Is a feature.

[C]

This was in case we didn't believe you.

[G]

Y.

[F]

You told us you couldn't zoom on this.

[G]

You have to pre. Zoom.

[A]

You have to do it before this.

[E]

Pre.

[G]

Okay. The healing power. Pemf. Next slide. Okay, so. Oh, this is all the levels. So I kind of went through.

[C]

Is that Mr. Beast?

[G]

So I'll get Beast and Yoda.

[F]

Is a riddle.

[G]

So.

[E]

No.

[C]

What is so Level one. Level one.

[G]

This. The delta waves. The delta waves. This is the deep sleep. This is what I do before bed. Deep sleep. Anxiety relief restores. Restorative rest truly works. And, you know, I know you guys have been having a good time, but this. This works. Okay. If you don't believe me, try it. Level two. That. That's the theta. That's Earth frequency. This is grounding. This is to kind of reconnect with Earth. Is. You can get the same feature by walking barefoot on grass in the winter. That's hard to do, but I highly recommend doing that. Level 3, Alpha More mindfulness.

[C]

More.

[G]

More you. Wakeful relaxation. So you're kind of stimulated. It's like non sleep, deep rest. You're stimulated, but you're not ready for bed. You're just relaxed, stress free, easygoing. Level 4. Now this is where it gets interesting. This is beta. This is energy focus, mental clarity. Okay. This combat sluggishness. This is good. You know, your cup of coffee wears off in the afternoon. You're a little sluggish. You're five, 2:30. Feeling whatever they call that. This is what the beta waves are for. Okay. Never before bed.

[C]

I thought you said you went beta before.

[G]

No, I. I might have misspoke. I go delta before.

[C]

Oh, okay. And why is Mr. Beast on that?

[G]

Because never before bed. It's like watching Mr. Beast. You do not watch Mr. Beast before bed. You don't do this.

[C]

You don't.

[D]

You don't do the Ruby before bed.

[C]

Why don't you watch Mr.

[F]

Beast?

[G]

Because you ever. You ever beast before bed?

[C]

I've never been.

[G]

Don't be stimuli. It's too much stimuli. It's way. It's way too much.

[E]

Colorful.

[C]

You never beats before bed.

[G]

I was. I beasted before bed when he had the new game show come out and I swear to God, like I was up longer than I've ever been up. I just kept watching. Kept watching. Like beast before bed. Worst thing you can do.

[F]

Why not Yoda before bed?

[G]

Yoda's. Yoda is more of the.

[F]

That's. He's calming.

[G]

That was one of the other waves. Yeah, Yoda's fine.

[F]

All right.

[G]

Nothing.

[D]

Rubik cub's good.

[G]

The Rubik's Cube is just showing that it can help with brain.

[C]

Could you beast before bed while doing the delta?

[G]

No, because that'll cancel out. It's that. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

When in the routine do you jack off?

[G]

No, that's not part of this.

[F]

Mark.

[D]

That's. You don't.

[G]

We're not too.

[D]

What about.

[C]

I mean, we're doing science.

[G]

We're not around here.

[D]

Yeah, a lot of. A lot of guys beat off before they go to sleep.

[F]

Part of their routine.

[G]

That's a whole. Another presentation. Yeah, you should be doing semen retention. Retention.

[A]

Well, why should we be doing semen?

[G]

We're not going on this on a. Testosterone. Testosterone. I don't.

[D]

I don't.

[G]

I don't know. I haven't done enough research into that either.

[C]

Are you currently.

[F]

How backed up are you?

[G]

I don't do.

[F]

No.

[C]

Are you doing semen retention?

[G]

No, I don't retent. I don't I don't.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

Last time you called your neighbor.

[G]

It's been a little while. It's been a while. I've been busy. No, but I do get. I get wet dreams freak. Frequently.

[E]

Good.

[C]

Should I not have said that?

[G]

Is that.

[A]

What?

[G]

How frequently? What? Once a month?

[C]

What?

[G]

What if I don't.

[C]

If I'm not drumming in your pants once a month.

[G]

Not.

[F]

It's the goat. You're the best.

[D]

If I'm not jerking off, I might need this mat.

[G]

It's nothing to do with the mat. That's just creative.

[D]

I thought you said the mat creates is good.

[F]

That's better dreams.

[G]

Yeah. So it probably could have does.

[C]

You're coming in your pants once a.

[G]

Month if I don't jerk.

[D]

Jerk off.

[A]

Really?

[F]

Wow.

[E]

How are your. What is your semen retention regimen?

[G]

I just don't jerk off ever. No. I mean occasionally, but maybe once every other week.

[F]

So.

[E]

Yeah. So just rarely.

[G]

Yeah. I prefer the dreams are more fun. I think a dream is more fun.

[C]

I would agree with that.

[E]

You're getting two beat offs in one dream.

[G]

Hands free. Yeah. I don't know.

[D]

Hands free dreams for Bluetooth nut. It's pretty good. Okay, so what. I mean, I. Seriously, though, if you want to have sex.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Where does it. Where does the routine.

[G]

You know, where's the mat?

[D]

You know, where does like do I. I have my sex and then I start this routine or.

[G]

Well, or I. Yeah, probably because you're going to want to unwind from that. So.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But doesn't sex make you sleepy?

[E]

Sex to beta.

[G]

I don't think it makes you sleepy. I think it gets you amped up.

[F]

If I put a woman on this mat, would she want to have sex with me?

[G]

It's nothing to do. There's no can you have sex on the map.

[E]

It doesn't help your sex drive.

[H]

This mattress.

[D]

That's.

[G]

No nothing.

[D]

My nighttime routine, Donnie, is if my wife. It's the.

[F]

It's a lot, Donnie.

[C]

You feel like I have to buy two mats too? One for the rat, one for the sex.

[G]

There's no sex on the mat. Oh, don't. Don't.

[B]

This.

[G]

This thing should remain unmolested. It's not supposed to be. It's not. You don't know.

[F]

If you sell this to Mark, he can't have.

[E]

I can't.

[D]

I'm done having sex. It's just over.

[A]

Do it.

[G]

Do it at your own pace. Do it. Do it whenever you want. Just don't do it around the mat. It's not part of the routine.

[F]

But it's under your back.

[G]

Yeah. Don't do it on the mat.

[D]

Okay, but we come. We come home from a nice dinner. Nice dinner and a movie. Yeah, it's like 9:30pm yeah, I'm for bed.

[F]

Put your.

[C]

Put your goggles.

[D]

I gotta put my goggles on. And my wife just starts, like, rubbing my back. And she's like, okay, so this is thinking maybe we could. And I'm like, not now, babe. I gotta. I gotta. Pre goggles on, babe. And beta wave.

[G]

Yeah, well, so.

[C]

Yeah, sorry, babe. I save. I save all my. Come for my pants.

[G]

If you're having sex, you're usually already in your bed, I'm assuming. So, like, at that point, you should have already done your pre sleep routine. So.

[D]

Okay, so do the routine. That's what I'm asking. Do the routine.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Get into bed.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

And then if you have sex and you're too amped up, go back on the mat. Restart.

[F]

Yeah, good.

[D]

Got it.

[F]

Sex. Matt.

[D]

Good solution.

[F]

All right.

[G]

Okay.

[E]

All right.

[G]

One in doubt. Pull it out for the mad and sex. I guess it works for both. Look at that.

[C]

So that was the Matt you were talking about, not sex.

[G]

No, no, no.

[D]

You said just whatever you do, don't be so.

[F]

Pull the mat out.

[G]

Pull the mat out. Okay. NASA's use of PEMF. So now we're getting into NASA.

[F]

NASA.

[G]

Okay, next slide. It'll zoom in. Yep. So the 90s, they begin investigating the microactivity and the bone density in astronauts. Okay, they're just curious.

[F]

That says microgravity.

[G]

Microgravity. Microgravity on bone. NASA begins investigating the effects of microgravity on bone density in astronauts. Okay, this is the 90s.

[F]

I mean, they're curious.

[G]

This is their. Yep. AKA they're curious. Next slide. 2000 means there's their development of PEMF devices.

[F]

I don't know what AKA means, so.

[C]

Go to the cave real quick and see if people are watching.

[G]

Okay, so we got something here.

[E]

Lucky boys.

[G]

Oh, they're all learning something. Okay, we should wrap this up. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

This is maybe my favorite yak. I do not want to wrap this up.

[A]

No lie. I'm very close to being sold.

[G]

Okay, good. All right, so look at him. He's looking sharp. Yeah, he looks Deutsche. And I'm excited because. Well, this is distracting. But that. The thing we did with the dart, that just did a light bulb in my head. That's. We could do so much more of this.

[E]

Of almost killing yourself more that Specifically that genre.

[F]

Okay.

[G]

Yeah, that flavor. Okay, Next of danger. Okay, so in the 2000s, NASA's, they're developing devices, they're still just kind of in the middle of tailoring there. How do we fix this?

[D]

What?

[G]

What are we doing here?

[C]

Okay, we got something.

[G]

Okay, we got.

[F]

Also known as. We got something.

[G]

What? AKA AKA Other. You asked me what it means.

[C]

Why do you have AKA Then what does AKA mean?

[G]

AK is I. My understanding is like you summarize something. Oh, a.k.a. it means this.

[C]

No, but what is the word? What is it?

[G]

I have no idea.

[A]

Tailored for space and.

[C]

Wait, hold on, let him work on this.

[G]

I have no idea what could it possibly mean. But I got to do some deduction.

[C]

We already got Etc.

[E]

We'll deduct one of the words that it can't be. What can the first day not be?

[G]

It can't be. Otherwise known as. That's my first guess. But A. Otherwise known as.

[C]

Yeah, otherwise is O.

[G]

Also known as.

[D]

Also.

[F]

Let's go.

[G]

Okay, so that works. Yeah, AKA works.

[F]

Yeah, in that sentence.

[C]

Also known as. Okay, we got something.

[A]

Tailored for space missions. Also known as. Okay, we got something.

[C]

Yeah, they.

[F]

All right. All right.

[G]

Perfect. Fuck yeah. Next slide.

[F]

Go Donnie.

[G]

Okay, so 2002.

[C]

Oh, there it is again. 2020's you were just using AKA and didn't know why.

[G]

I thought it just like it was. Use it for a summary. Alright, so the current application of PEMF technology enhances astronauts wellness. Okay, so if they're using it, well, why not you? It's my question to the room. If they're using it, why aren't you a K?

[C]

They're all using it. Everyone.

[G]

They're all using it. Oh, this is how it should have been read. They're all using it. Everyone, so why not you?

[C]

That again.

[F]

What?

[G]

There's inflection on the ever. They're all using it. Everyone, so why not you?

[F]

So we're supposed to say it all together, is it?

[C]

They're all using it. Everyone is. They're all.

[E]

You're prompting everyone.

[D]

I got it, I got it.

[F]

Do it again.

[G]

They're all using it, so why can't you? Yeah, okay, good, that's good. We'll work on that.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

It's not.

[C]

Oh, you're telling yourself to say it to everyone.

[F]

No.

[D]

Everyone. Everyone, Everyone.

[F]

This was our line. We're all.

[G]

No, it's not a line.

[D]

You say they're all and then we'll say so why not you?

[G]

Oh no, no.

[D]

I just try one more time.

[G]

They're all using It.

[D]

So why not you?

[F]

Perfect.

[G]

I did not plan for that, but that's.

[F]

That works too.

[G]

Okay, it was one sentence. They're all using it. Everyone.

[F]

So why not?

[D]

Why not?

[C]

Again, Is everyone there? All. Is everyone referring to the people using it or is everyone referring to everyone you're talking to?

[G]

No, no.

[F]

Also, there's a period after it, and then there's a period after everyone. Everyone's a one.

[G]

Try one more sentence.

[E]

It's prompting a chance.

[G]

Yeah. No, it's not.

[E]

Everyone.

[G]

It's not.

[F]

Why not you?

[D]

Why not you?

[F]

Why not you?

[G]

I like that. That's not how I wrote it in my head, but I like it better. All right, next one.

[C]

Okay. Who's ever. It's supposed to just read like this.

[G]

It's me reading it. It goes. They're all using it. Everyone.

[F]

All right, do it. Do it how you thought.

[A]

So, like, they're all using it. Comma, everyone.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Is everyone there?

[A]

They're all. Is also everyone.

[E]

That's redundant.

[C]

They're all using. It is. And then everyone. Everyone's using it.

[G]

But no. So they're all, you know, you're talking to us. They're all using it. It should have been the. That's for the astronauts. Okay. And then everyone is everyone else.

[C]

And then. Ah.

[F]

So why not?

[G]

You guys are getting hung up on those stupid.

[C]

That is a problem.

[H]

Everyone.

[F]

Why not you?

[G]

I guess.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[G]

You guys are getting hung up on the dumbest. This.

[F]

Correct? Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay. Devil's advocate.

[G]

Sure. You're the devil anyway.

[F]

You dumb.

[D]

Well, maybe we're not. We're not going to space, so maybe that's why we wouldn't.

[G]

You dream bigger.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

Have bigger dreams. Mark. I don't know.

[C]

You know what you are. You aren't doing 10x mentality. You gotta have. Are you. Are you familiar with 10x 10x?

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I would imagine.

[F]

Trust me.

[D]

Trust me.

[F]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[G]

That's a good accident.

[A]

How has this been hidden for.

[F]

I know.

[C]

He's just been with us.

[F]

We wasted years.

[C]

For four years.

[G]

Just like I had a bad. You know, Tai Lopez, he got. He scammed me pretty good.

[A]

Tai Lopez, he got me. I'm here in my garage with my Ferrari.

[C]

Tai Lopez scammed you?

[G]

I bought his course. I bought. Yeah. I was in, like, sixth. Seventh grade. I was young, okay? But, yeah, he got me.

[E]

He got me enhanced wellness. That's kind of ambiguous. What did it do? Were there.

[G]

How is that ambiguous?

[E]

Studies.

[H]

How did it.

[G]

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said. I thought you were saying redundant again. It's enhanced wellness.

[E]

I get the confusion.

[G]

Enhanced wellness. I don't know.

[F]

What are they.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

What is of the astronauts?

[E]

Are there measurable?

[G]

This was so. This. This got to the part of the presentation where I was scrambling to get it done. So I didn't dive any deeper than the surface level of that. So I think there's a next slide. We're done with NASA. You guys any more questions?

[F]

No, no.

[C]

Oh, no, no.

[F]

No questions about NASA.

[G]

So that one's easy. That one's just to show you. Hey, the big guys are using NASA was pretty clear.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Okay, next slide. Maybe it zooms in. Let's make sure. Not where I wanted to zoom in. Okay, back up, back up. No.

[D]

This is the best.

[G]

Okay. Enhancing life. Okay. It's time to change your life. Unlock your potential on the cosmic journey of health. Next slide. Now we. Now we got. We got the review. How's that sound? How's that one sound?

[C]

How does that sound, Mark?

[G]

Sounds pretty cool.

[C]

One more time.

[D]

Sounds pretty.

[E]

This is. It's time to change your life.

[D]

I need that as a gift.

[G]

Be a good gift.

[D]

How's that sound, Mark?

[A]

Okay.

[G]

Daily use for stress relief. Just do it. Don't stress. It's gonna save your life.

[F]

That's a stressful way to put that.

[A]

What's.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why the symbol?

[G]

That was Good question. I don't know what I was doing with that one. I think I was looking for, like a progressively growing energy or something.

[D]

I don't know what.

[G]

I don't know what I put into the chat bot for that one. But daily use. Daily use. Daily use for stress relief.

[D]

At the very minimum, like 5G bars.

[G]

If you're a guy.

[D]

If you're high, it's like.

[G]

It's. I don't. Yeah, I don't. That's really locked in the wrong symbol. Look, I used to be stressed, you know, And.

[D]

And cell service.

[G]

If I get wound up. Put on. Put it on the mat. Go on the mat. That's.

[F]

You're not stressed now?

[G]

No, no, I didn't use the. Matt.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

Next slide. Next slide.

[F]

Well said.

[E]

So you're using it throughout the day, not just at night.

[G]

I try to use it in the morning and at night. Okay. This is a quote. Would someone like to read this?

[E]

You read that.

[D]

So it's not as.

[C]

Well, it's right there.

[G]

You don't know who it's from.

[D]

How do you not.

[G]

Pemf. Mats. Let me just.

[E]

Now.

[G]

All right.

[E]

You're about to make it known.

[D]

How do you not know?

[G]

PEMF master, a transformative technology that harnesses the healing power of pulsal electromagnetic fields to rejuvenate the body and overall enhance the well being. As you float through the cosmos of health, remember that integr. As you float. As you float through the cosmos of health, remember that integrating PEMF therapy into your daily routine can add to an improvement. Improvement profound. In energy healing.

[D]

And let's try that.

[B]

Start.

[D]

Start that.

[G]

I, I start that one over.

[D]

As you float through the cosmos of.

[G]

Health, as you fl. That start in the middle. As you float through the cosmos of how health, remember that integrating PEMF therapy into your life, into your daily routine can lead to a profound improvements in energy, healing and vitality.

[D]

And that was.

[G]

That's unknown.

[A]

Tj, can you copy and paste that quote? We gotta do a lot of this.

[E]

Let's do some work.

[G]

It's unknown who said this. Many famous quotes are unknown.

[D]

What if it's Hitler?

[G]

That would be bad. That would be bad. Anyone but him would be better.

[D]

What if Hitler said these words?

[G]

Well, they'd be in German.

[C]

That's a good point. He got you there, Mark.

[A]

That can't be Hitler.

[F]

I think.

[D]

Mark, that sounds.

[A]

That can't be Hitler. It's in perfect English.

[G]

Okay, I think I have one more section and I will wrap this thing up.

[F]

All right.

[C]

I don't want it to ever end.

[A]

No.

[G]

You ever get that when you're reading it? Reading aloud is tough, but I would never do it. And but one word further in his head and this looks like it's. Before you ever have that dyslexia.

[D]

Is that what that is?

[G]

I don't know. Never tested it. Can we do a test? Maybe that would. Maybe that's what I need.

[F]

A dyslexic test.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

I don't know at this point. I can't. Maybe the mat can heal that.

[A]

Maybe. So who quoted it?

[E]

We don't even know if it's a quote.

[F]

Right.

[C]

We don't even know where.

[F]

No, you might have just made it up.

[D]

You just.

[G]

No, no.

[C]

As if.

[G]

Where did.

[D]

Website. Where did you find it? On the box.

[C]

The box.

[D]

You had AI.

[G]

I might have had AI write that.

[D]

Write that.

[C]

It's an unknown quote.

[G]

I might have. I think the last thing I prompted was say something like, and the shirt's buttoned. Profound. Profan. Profan.

[D]

Give me a profound, profane summation of.

[G]

Oh, no one wrote it.

[A]

All right, so it is unknown.

[G]

It is well put.

[C]

It on my known as it gets.

[F]

Oh, it's yours.

[G]

Mine to chef Donnie. It's my quote. Put that on the Wikipedia.

[C]

Okay?

[E]

What Wikipedia.

[C]

Unknown quotes.

[G]

Unknown. Yeah.

[D]

So hold on.

[G]

We're not done.

[C]

Okay, that's your question. We're getting a great question. I saw a sneak peek of crystals.

[G]

There's a sneak peek.

[D]

My question is, you said EMFs are really bad, but. Yes, PEMFs are really good.

[G]

Yep.

[D]

Why. Why are. Why is one better than the other?

[G]

Because these are control. These are low frequency waves. Not all EMFs are bad. Okay. You get naturally enough from the. The earth's electromagnetic field. Okay. You're gonna get. You're gonna get ion. Negative ions from the earth naturally. Okay. So they're good ones. The hard. The harsh ones are the. The high frequency waves that are coming from cell phone towers, cell phones, microwaves, radiation.

[D]

This is a good dose.

[G]

Not all radiation or not all waves are bad. Yeah. Okay, so this is a good dose. This is a good dose. Beta, beta, delta and alpha are the waves that you are totally fine having combined with 40, 432 hertz puts you right to sleep. Look, man, try. You try it for a week, okay? You can you come back to me.

[E]

And say, well, you did that and what are your results?

[G]

You said, I told you I was dreaming. I'm dreaming like hell.

[D]

You said something in your pants. And you said a month.

[C]

I thought he's coming.

[G]

I've been. The coming's different. That's where. Oh, that's. I've been doing that for. Since I was a boy. I don't know.

[C]

Since you were a rap.

[A]

You've been having a monthly wet dream since you were a boy.

[D]

Since you were a boy.

[G]

Since of 8. Once I came of age. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, that's why they call it that.

[G]

All right, last slide. This will end with this. Okay. Crystals. So crystals. I. To be honest here, crystals and Matt, I didn't get all the way to them. So this is going to be another presentation at some point. But I wanted to let you know that crystals do have. But this is a little over my head this part.

[A]

I need more times on.

[C]

Okay, that's good. That will be in the document.

[G]

I asked my brothers about my grandma magic crystal. Can you zoom in one click? I think it should zoom.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

One click.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Okay.

[F]

Property Brothers.

[G]

That's my group chat. My brothers.

[C]

All right. Do you guys remember the crystal GG had that when you asked it a question, it would spin one way for yes and one way for No, I don't know. Loosely remember that. It worked, though, right? No, man, that didn't work. Dude, it would spin. I remember. Yeah, from shaking it. You were drunk, man.

[G]

So that's what my brother.

[C]

Why did you put this in?

[F]

That was a Magic 8 ball, all because I.

[G]

Because there are crystals that work, so.

[C]

But, Donnie, that didn't help your case. Your brothers are like, dude, one of.

[G]

Them said they loosely remembered it.

[F]

You put it in because. And then they said you remembered it wrong.

[G]

Well, that. He always says, I'm drunk. That doesn't matter, right?

[F]

No, man, that didn't work.

[G]

All right, well, the point is, it existed. I wasn't just making that up. We had it when my grandma had a crystal that would move.

[A]

Can we find, like, something similar? Because I'm really curious. What?

[G]

Oh, the crystal.

[A]

Yes.

[G]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry.

[F]

Do you think the brothers have another chat where they talk about you a little bit?

[G]

No, this is the chat we used to talk about the other brother we don't like.

[C]

Oh, shit, you're right.

[F]

So that can't be another.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

And then the sister, she gets no chats. She's not in.

[F]

Yeah. How many of you are there?

[G]

There's five of us.

[F]

Okay.

[G]

All right.

[C]

Yeah, that's.

[F]

I wonder what the hit rate was.

[G]

One finished school.

[F]

Oh, okay.

[C]

One for five.

[G]

Five. One for five.

[F]

Not bad.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

21 for one.

[G]

Still in. One for five.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Two for. So two for five.

[F]

Oh, it's like three. 33. 33. Yeah.

[C]

Well, no, you can't say two for five because at one point you were in school.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

And so if we had said, yeah, three for five there, we would have been wrong.

[F]

So it's like one and a half or five.

[G]

Sure. Yeah.

[C]

I. I don't.

[D]

I.

[C]

Pending.

[G]

You lost me 1 for 5.

[C]

300 hitter when you were in school.

[G]

Oh, Like.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You completed.

[G]

Yeah, but I could finish.

[F]

Do it.

[A]

Do it.

[G]

I could, you know, get finished.

[C]

We might have to have that part of the science project.

[G]

I could go.

[C]

Some of the budget. Might have to go to tuition.

[G]

I could go, but I think I'm still eligible. But, like, for what, college?

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

No, I don't have to reapply. I'm already in. Like, I go back to Madison.

[C]

You could just show up.

[F]

You're not leaving here.

[G]

I could do it virtually. Yeah, I would do. I could. Yeah, do it virtually.

[F]

You're not getting out of our sight.

[C]

I kind of want to see that. Him going back to college to get my degree.

[G]

Yeah, that'd be my mom would be so happy.

[C]

We'd throw the biggest party for you. Graduation party. Party.

[G]

I don't think it'd be that hard. I think I only have a couple. Arts and science. Like I was. I was an English major.

[F]

Science.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

This is your wheelhouse.

[D]

You were major.

[G]

Yeah, I was. No, I'm good at reading.

[E]

No, you're not.

[D]

You were in English.

[G]

I'm good at reading. Like books.

[A]

Like I said, you might have dislikes.

[G]

I fly through books. I read a. I fly like.

[A]

Are you reading it correct?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Do you take them in?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

No.

[G]

If there's a word. I don't know. I just.

[F]

The.

[G]

God. I skipped. Skip it. Or just pronounce it how I think. What I think it means.

[A]

How often do you.

[G]

But I can retain all the information in the book. I'm reading non fiction. I just read all the. All the Pretty Horses and it was a.

[E]

Don't laugh.

[G]

Don't smirk. It's a. Correct. It's Cormac McCarthy.

[F]

But that's pretty.

[C]

That sounds. I don't know any of the things.

[A]

I was gonna laugh until I heard.

[F]

It was Cormac Cor.

[A]

He just got canceled.

[G]

He just died a year ago. He's not. He's the last great American.

[A]

He got canceled.

[G]

He's the. He's the last great American author. I highly suggest that book.

[C]

Okay. So what was. Was that the end of it?

[G]

Yeah, that's the end of it. But. Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

So the.

[G]

So that's it. That's. That's great work.

[F]

That was well done.

[C]

Incredible. I need more present.

[F]

I might go buy the mat. Right?

[G]

Buy the mat.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm going to buy Matt.

[F]

You got the others sticking around here.

[G]

Should all be.

[C]

I got to decide if I want to do the mat or have another kid and be birthed in dolphins.

[G]

We can do both. What's holding it back?

[F]

I'll do both. You gota get your rat on the mat. Mat.

[G]

Try the mat. I know the glasses in the mat. You'll be sleeping like a baby.

[F]

Like a baby.

[G]

You'll be coming in your sleep.

[C]

Okay. I don't want that.

[F]

Babies don't come in their sleep.

[D]

And also babies don't sleep. Isn't that. Wasn't that part of your presentation?

[G]

Babies sleep.

[D]

Rat don't.

[G]

From whatever age to whatever age they're. When they're. Was most. I used to babysit it.

[F]

My baby came.

[G]

There we go.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

This was it.

[F]

See?

[G]

This is the same thing. So I think any crystal can be a pendulum. Pendulum. No.

[C]

And it's what is it doing?

[G]

It's slowly moving. It's shaking.

[F]

That person is just shaking.

[G]

No, no, no.

[D]

What?

[C]

Is that how you remember it?

[G]

No, I actually. Actually, no. Yeah. Okay. It was similar to this, but you. Yeah. You held. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See? See?

[F]

So that was just a spin of the twine.

[G]

Wait, wait. Okay, okay, okay. See? And see how it stops. Well, this one. This lady's not doing a good one. I don't. Look, I told you guys.

[E]

Chris not into. Chris, you're not.

[G]

That might be junk science, that one. I'm not fully in junk science.

[C]

Yeah, I agree.

[G]

I'm. I'm a rational.

[E]

You are.

[G]

Person.

[F]

Right.

[G]

So Crystal's like. But I also. I believe that, hey, maybe some of it works. You know, I'm not going to count all of it out.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

I'm open that I'm open to anything. Like, I'd be a good Indian. Indian guy because the.

[C]

They.

[G]

They've. They're the whole daughter.

[C]

Feather.

[F]

How so.

[G]

Both could actually work. They're both very spiritual. They're both holistic. Dot and feather.

[F]

So the.

[G]

See, wait. This is pretty good.

[F]

But that's just.

[C]

It says for entertainment purposes only.

[G]

They have to say that.

[F]

Why do they have to say it?

[G]

Same way you have to say, you know, we. I don't know if it's a warning.

[F]

So the lessons I'm taking from today are I need to get a map mat.

[G]

Lasting change in how ice.

[F]

Don't be before bed.

[G]

That's. Yep.

[E]

Do you have any final hypotheses on what else this mat could do?

[G]

I genuinely. I think just sleep is like the. The. The biggest improvement I've seen is from sleep. And.

[C]

And I do need to sleep better.

[G]

And negative ions. Negative ions are always good to have grounding yourself whenever you possibly can. You know, the amount of times that we're on our. Our phones and screens and next to electromagnetic fields, you should try to ground yourself as much as possible.

[A]

Walking grass with bare feet.

[G]

Yeah, that works great.

[A]

How often do you do that? When it's. When weather permits.

[G]

I don't live. I'll go to Wicker park every now and then in the summer and try to try to get some grass in. But if not, I have the mat. I have already had a grounding mat before this one, so this is fine.

[F]

My only question is everything you describe about getting ready to go to sleep, putting the goggles on.

[C]

Yep.

[F]

Laying on the mat could also be accomplished if I just lay down in a dark room on a bed.

[G]

You go, absolutely. You okay, but this is going to help you. This is more. If you're after. If you have no trouble sleeping, fine. You know, more. More power to you.

[F]

Thank you.

[G]

But if you struggle and if you want a deep, restful sleep.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Try it and use the 432Hz. If nothing else, because you don't all have mats. Put the. Put the earbuds in with just that sound and see what happens.

[F]

I'll try that.

[G]

Just the glass.

[C]

That one seems like something I'd try. Yeah.

[F]

I do use like a box fan for the noise too.

[G]

Yeah. But the 432Hz is, I think, better than the box fan. I'll show. I'll send you the glasses I have.

[C]

They're.

[F]

And I didn't want to say anything, but I felt like of the whole room. Mark was doubting it the whole time.

[G]

Well, that's everything I do in this fucking.

[F]

Agree.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

All right. So this was great. This is truly great. And we have homework, so next week, I need all the dreams.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

In a Prezi.

[A]

Is there. What are the odds one of these dreams will be wet?

[G]

Probably not.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah. All right.

[G]

And if it is. Is. I'll let you know.

[C]

Dreams in Prezi. So describing each dream, we can go in the whole Prezi. And then Donnie do science.

[G]

So two presentations.

[C]

Yeah, the do science one will do after the Super Bowl.

[G]

Okay. So I have two weeks for that one.

[C]

You have like three weeks. Yeah, because I'm going on vacation after Super Bowl.

[G]

Oh, so sick.

[C]

Okay, but don't. But use the time.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Really. Because I'm gonna give you. Depending on how that presentation goes will be your grant.

[D]

It's the biggest presentation of your life.

[C]

Yeah. You can.

[G]

Okay. You can do serious, real serious science.

[C]

Like right now, the. The budget for your grant is unlimited.

[G]

Oh, okay.

[C]

But it's gonna.

[G]

So I should try. I shouldn't even put a price on it. Then I should just say you should.

[C]

Do whatever you feel like doing.

[G]

Okay. Interesting. Okay. Okay. I'll get started on that. And I forget. And then the dreams.

[F]

Dreams, dreams.

[G]

But you take a mat home and you do something for me.

[C]

Me. All right.

[G]

Just sleep. I just want to hear. I just want to see.

[C]

All right.

[G]

Stop taking unisom.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

Start sleeping on the. Start doing 20 minutes on the mat. And then wear your glasses.

[C]

Go right to bed.

[G]

Go right to bed. And don't touch your phone.

[F]

Also known as. It's going to be awesome.

[C]

I will try it.

[G]

I absolutely can't hurt to try it. You know? Can't Hurt to.

[C]

I want to get better sleep.

[D]

Do you have to get butt ass naked or does it just help?

[G]

So I thought so I, I, I misspoke when I, I said that you had to be bought ass naked for this one. That's a, that's when you're using red light therapy. You have to be butt ass naked. This one doesn't have red lights in it. So don't have to be butt ass naked. I think it's.

[D]

You made your roommate take a picture.

[G]

Yeah, but that's for no reason. He's seen that before.

[F]

Your boys. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Why has he seen it before?

[G]

We went to college together. I don't know.

[F]

Yeah. You see all your boys? Balls.

[C]

Might have to have your roommate in.

[G]

No, that's better. He's a bad guy.

[A]

You always say, like before I met, met him. You preface. Like he's a really bad guy.

[E]

That's all you.

[A]

Yeah, that's the only.

[C]

I love him.

[G]

I love him to death, you know?

[C]

Yeah, but you know he's a bad guy.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Love him though.

[A]

What's his name?

[E]

Peter.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's going to hate her.

[G]

I think he watches his show, man.

[C]

What's up? Peter?

[F]

Peter.

[A]

Stay away from me, Peter.

[E]

Evil Peter.

[A]

Evil Peter.

[C]

We just want it like 20 minutes of your time, Peter.

[G]

What else was I. I had something else to fucking say and I can't remember now.

[E]

You have me very interested, more so in the quality of dreams I'll be getting. Because that to me is.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Makes sleep quality the big motivator.

[G]

Yeah. That's why, that's when you're in REM sleep. Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to wake up tired. That's my issue.

[G]

Okay, well then you got to start doing. You do first light you get up in the morning and first thing you do is go on like a 10 minute, 20 minute walk walk.

[A]

It's negative 13 degrees out.

[G]

Doesn't matter. That's what you should do that, that's the best way to start. You feel wide awake. If you get a little 20 steps in before you touch your phone.

[F]

Go, go for a eyes open feet.

[G]

Don't touch coffee. Don't touch coffee until you know an hour once you're awake. I want this, this is common knowledge. But it's, you know, little things. Little things.

[A]

I want my.

[G]

Yeah, I know you're a big coffee guy. Just hold off 45 minutes.

[C]

Okay. I've been doing the no phone when I wake up.

[G]

That's great. Yeah. Go outside. Honestly, take, take the dog for a walk. Look at the. Stare at the sun and fucking get ready to go.

[C]

Go. I love it.

[F]

Don't stare at the sun, though.

[B]

Yeah, you do.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Early morning sun. You don't just eat directly. Stare at the cornea. I stare right at below.

[A]

At the what?

[E]

The cornea.

[G]

It's not the right word, is it?

[F]

Cor is in your eye.

[E]

Stare with the cornea stare.

[C]

I don't know.

[G]

With the. So it's like if you're looking at the sun, the. The. The balls right here. I stare at the outer. Out. Outer ray. You can stare at the sun. It's a myth. You can.

[E]

So to optimize the libido, I just.

[F]

Don'T think you can stare at the sun.

[G]

Not at high noon. No. But in the morning. Yeah.

[F]

I can't speak on that.

[G]

But when it's rising, you can stare at it.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

Rising sun you can stare at. It's the best sun you can get. I keep. Keep forgetting what else I had. But I think that's all for today.

[F]

Well done.

[G]

Unbelievable. Oh, and doing the most is coming out.

[A]

Comes out. No, it comes out super bowl week.

[G]

Super bowl week. The most.

[A]

Wow.

[G]

So am I going back to college or. That's a different thing.

[C]

That's a different thing.

[F]

We'll get there.

[C]

I would like you to do science first.

[G]

But that. Yeah, I could just get a science.

[F]

Are you.

[G]

Yes.

[A]

You can.

[F]

You could just do that.

[G]

I could go for school. For science.

[F]

Are you wearing Velcro shoes?

[G]

Yeah, these are. Yeah, these are my. These are the. Doing the most work. Work. This is my work shoes.

[C]

Can I borrow them?

[G]

For what? Your kid needs them.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Those are.

[C]

Actually. I kind of like those.

[G]

Yeah, I play. I play basketball on them. If I. You know, if I ever get allowed.

[F]

What? Just. Just. Just.

[C]

You want to be on the team?

[E]

Do you want to be on the team?

[G]

I mean, I contribute.

[F]

Show up tonight.

[G]

I can't. I'm out. I'm out. All right.

[C]

Thank you, Donnie.

[A]

Unbelievable.

[C]

I can't wait for next week. The dreams.

[G]

Dreams. All I have to focus on is dreams.

[C]

Every. Every dream you have. Every. Nightmares, too.

[A]

Prezi, though.

[C]

Prezi. I want every dream you had.

[G]

Yeah, I got it.

[C]

All right.

[F]

Got to keep a log.

[G]

Pictures are going to be hard. Pictures are going to be hard for you.

[C]

You could get that.

[G]

Yeah, you're right. I can find a draw or something.

[F]

Okay, good.

[D]

See you, Donnie.

[C]

All right. Thank you, Donnie.

[D]

Bye, Donnie.

[C]

That was so incredible.

[A]

I can find a drawer.

[C]

What an. What an episode. I think he is.

[A]

He's the best of all time.

[C]

Y. I. I'm so upset about the time we've. We've missed with him. Yeah.

[E]

So much earth I've never seen back. I cannot get New York just like he.

[A]

I respected the out of him in New York. I was nervous around.

[F]

Oh my God.

[E]

I may as well have been an exec.

[F]

I bought his cookbook.

[E]

Strutting. Yeah.

[B]

I thought he was so much better than all of us.

[G]

Look at this.

[F]

And he still is.

[B]

He still is.

[A]

I've met some of his friends and they're like. They say like he's always been like this. They've all known, but he doesn't.

[C]

Yeah. That's why he's the perfect guy.

[D]

Why even when he says stuff that's not stupid, it's just hilarious. Like with him. Him saying like go on a walk when you wake up. That's probably healthy. That's probably smart. But no, the way he presents it.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

It's just so funny.

[C]

He's right on that.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Presenting it in combative tone like he's arguing against himself.

[C]

First thing you do when you wake up is stare directly at the sun.

[B]

At the cornea of it.

[C]

Talk about Danny's kids answer.

[D]

Make a wish.

[A]

I love that it really came into play there. Every slide was.

[C]

And look how tired that was.

[A]

The longest slide. It's a 30 minute slide.

[C]

Oh, we got out of dolphins.

[F]

Yeah. That was the dolphin.

[C]

I can't wait for his. Look how tired he did.

[F]

He talked about dolphin birth. Like we all discussed often birth every other Tuesday.

[C]

Him doing science is going to be. I'm so excited for it.

[A]

I need that on a T shirt. I just sleeping lady and says look.

[C]

How tired.

[F]

We had the wave fighter and Donnie in the same show.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Wavelength show.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Factor, by the way. You want to eat better, but you have zero time and zero energy to make it happen. Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It just removes the entire problem. Two minutes. Real food. Done. You're not failing at healthy eating. You're failing at having three extra hours every night. Factors already made by chef chefs, designed by dietitians and delivered to your door.

[G]

You eat.

[C]

You heat it for two minutes and eat. Lean proteins, colorful vegetables, whole food ingredient ingredients, healthy fats. The stuff you'd make if you had the time. No refined sugars, no artificial sweeteners, no refined seed oils. You pick what fits your goals. Healthier eating, calorie management, more protein. Whatever you're actually trying to do. Head to factor meals.com yak50 off and use code. Yes. Yak50 off to get 50 off your first factor box. Plus free breakfast for one year offer only valid for new factor customers with code Qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with factor. That's a great deal.

[A]

Really is.

[C]

All right, let's spin the wheel. What a show. What a show.

[B]

The CIA shut it down.

[A]

I was crying.

[C]

Too smart. Too smart. They were too smart. It's crazy. Kyle, we're going to try to burp tomorrow, maybe tomorrow.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

I'm expecting it tomorrow.

[C]

Love that. Love that Deutsch. I love deutsch.

[G]

On tomorrow.

[B]

He'll be on the live stream tonight.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Basketball.

[C]

Oh, he's stretching. She's the best. Having deutsch in this office is going to seem good.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Has a new element of, like, just.

[A]

Danger going to keep us on our toes? Yeah, exactly.

[D]

You just never know with a guy like them. You can't.

[A]

That's the exact kind of co worker you want.

[C]

All right, see you for tomorrow.

[G]

It's the act.

[C]

It'S the act.

[A]

It'S.

[G]

Your straws y for a while it's.

[H]

The act.

[F]

It'S the act.

[C]

It'S the act.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

It's time to talk shots or do.

[G]

A yankee swap Is the act. See you tomorrow. Love you guys.

[F]

Bye.