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Hey Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. Incredible. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in Stell Blue Coffee. We're brought to you by Stell Blue Coffee. Go get Stell blue coffee@stbluecoffee.com today. We've got everything. We've got ready to drink cans. We got cold brew, Q, zips, polos, everything. Stellbluecoffee.com or on Amazon. Save some dogs lives. Stella Blue Coffee. What's up everyone? How was, how was Wake Up Barstool today? Oh, you're gonna do that? Okay. Why? I didn't know. It's my. I didn't tune in my favorite morning show. I was up playing video games. You're getting fully immersed. It's fine. Yeah. What happened? I got here at 5. I got here 4:45. I went in there and I just, I started getting a migraine right above my left eye and I got it and I woke up on. I Woke up at 6:30 to do it and I sat up and I just couldn't, I couldn't go. And I called the director in there and said, can, can I, can I try to rest this off to be ready for mostly. And he said, yeah, so you should have done the Terrell Davis in the Super Bowl. And I got through mostly, but it wasn't, it was not great. It was not great. How you feeling now? Not great. Not great. Dan should have done the Terrell Davis. Just done a fake play. You can't see. I feel like I did just get out there and just, you know, I could, I could, yeah. I could tell you three things we talked about on mostly this morning. Do you want to go home? Go home. I got to do unnecessary roughness today. Do it from home. Oh yeah, do it from home. Is that a remote pod? We get dinner ready in here. Go. No, I'm good. You made me fun of me for missing Wake Up Barstool. I actually thought. Can I be honest with you? I had no idea. I thought you were late because of the snow. No, I actually beat the snow. Okay. Because that's that. I thought that would be a fun thing. When I, when I got here at 4:45, it was 38 degrees. Nice morning. I came in here and, and, and you know, laid down, got sick. When I got back up, it was three inches of snow on the ground. I was shocked. Yeah. No, you should Go home. I'm all right. Let me just. Let me see what I can. See what you can do. Yeah, I'm good. Mostly. It was fine, right? I think so. Is there going to be any clippable moment? Yeah. How was it without him this morning? I had to do everything. Oh, my God. Were you in the big chair? Kyle. I know what I had to start. Who was Every segment, Every rant, man. Yeah. Put the team on your back. Did you get any takes off? Yes. You're playing koi. Another little strike. No, you gotta strike. Oh, no. What'd you say? F words. I think I said football is. Or foosball is. Where the. Is. Brain. No. Worth it, man. So worth it. You think foosball's. No, I don't feel anything about foosball. I. I'll take it from here. Foosball is okay. Yeah. When you play against somebody who spins them. I don't. Oh, I hate foosball. It's so frustrating. Then you get it, and then someone does the thing and it gets. Hits you into the. In your. Yeah, the guys. Yeah. Bubble hockey is better. Okay. Thank you. Foosball. A foosball table in an entertainment sett or arcade is the equivalent of like, cones or a spill. It just takes up space. I like it. Yeah, it's. It's basically like the generic. Oh, I have a fun man cave. Let me put a foosball table. No one wants that. Shuffleboard. Now, that's what you shuffleboard. A long shuffleboard. Yes. Shuffle. Yeah. Those tables are shockingly expensive. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I looked into one. Nice wood. You know, you could get. I used to go to a bar in Madison that was. It had the side. It had, like, bumpers, so it was like a smaller shuffleboard, but you had to hit it off the side and then in. That might be cheaper. Well, I mean, I could do it. I just said $4,000 for one of those long tables. Something. We should get a shuffle. There's no shame. If you need bumpers, brings me to a store that I've been meaning to ask you guys for a while. Okay. Have y' all ever been inside a Great Escape? I don't know what that is. A Great Escape? I don't know if I have. Great Escape is patio furniture. Backyard games. They sell hot tubs. Anything that you can do in your backyard or your man cave, they're gonna sell it. Dartboards. Escape to dart boards. Skeeball machines. Oh, 40 bucks. Wow. Here's some fun places. 60% off hot tubs. It is an Amazing, amazing place. I don't think they're real. I don't think they actually want you to buy anything when you go in. Everything. And I mean everything. Oh, I know. That is so much more expensive than anywhere else. Is it the jingle at the Great Escape? No, I think you're thinking of Top Gun. I, I am. I, I go in there and I'm like, oh, I'd like some patio furniture. And I'll look at four chairs, an ottoman, and a small outdoor couch and it'll be $11,000. And I just, it's, it's, it doesn't look that high end. But all the prices are high end. The hot tubs. Do you ever see anybody leaving? No product. I've never seen anyone buy anything there. And I think God bless them if they sponsor us at any point. But I, I don't. I've been to one, I've been to two in my life and both of them are ghost towns inside. And I don't know how they sell the stuff because I can go get the same furniture at a furniture store. The outdoor furniture at a furniture store for 60% less. Sounds like an awesome story. Maybe I'm crazy. Sounds like basically everything you want in one store. Maybe I'm, I'm just being stupid. Maybe prices were absurd when we were scrolling through and it said it was 60 off. But also, why would anyone, no one would ever go there and like be like, oh, here's my lazy boy. Let me carry it out in a, in a shop. Oh, maybe they, they got the prettiest basketball hoops outside. Oh, they got the, they got your ten thousand dollar jobs outside. They got the, the, the goal Rilla gorilla with the breakaway rim. They should do a yak from the Great Escape. Let's get there. Oh, but still, 200 bucks for delivery and installation. These might just be prices online. I've never seen these prices in. That's expensive. In reality, that's like average rate. I think there's one in gurney and I go to it in gurney and I see how you just go and just look. Yeah. Okay. But I mean, I, every, every spring, every March, I get real. You know, I get antsy for outdoor furniture. Patio furniture. Oh, this year we're gonna, oh, I might do an outdoor kitchen. This, you know, I just get to thinking of that and then ultimately the prices tell me, hey, no, stop. And I do. I don't really understand outdoor furniture. It is. How do they do it? It's expensive. I mean, it's gotta be wrong. And also why you gotta cover it? It's not. It's not as comfy as indoor furniture. It's expensive, but it's like. It's. What's the point? I always feel gross sitting on the cushions. Yeah. And then I gotta. You gotta cut. Like, every time it rains, I gotta go cover my outdoor furniture. It's like, well, what was the point of buying it? It just makes everything waterproof. It shouldn't be able to handle some rain. And roof. Chicago roof decks. We've had some stuff blow off. I'll never see half my stuff again. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. You gotta tie it down. You gotta secure everything. You got to. So I'm the only one. Or buy heavier stuff. Or buy. Yeah, maybe I should go to that. I'm the only one that's ever been to a Great Escape. I've never heard of a place in Ohio that was similar. I forget the name of it. But, yeah, there. There's. It's like a man cave. They have, like, poker tables and, too. That's right. Yeah. Yep. I never heard of a Great Escape till I got here. I don't know if it's regional. Is that how many there are? I know the everywhere. I know the jingle. Are they national? It's also one of those things that you don't. How often are you going and buying patio furniture? You know, they don't appear to be national. Are you trying to say this is like a Somalian daycare type thing, Brandon. Or like, what's the mattress firm or whatever? Yeah, it's a. It's money laundering. Yeah. Do they have that. Have you ever played that one tabletop game with the soccer ball and you fling marbles at it? Bakker ball. That sounds fun. It's the best. Well, let me see it. It's amazing. I want to buy it. What's the. I want you to buy it. That's why I brought it up. What's the one on Tik Tok with the. The class. The men, man. This guy. Oh, the. The. The. The Middle Eastern men. The Middle Eastern men. Thank you very much. Really waxy table. Really waxy table. And they're hitting it with a circle. Yeah, they're amazing. They're hitting small circles with a big circle. B, C, R. I might leave. Yeah, you should leave. Yeah. What the. And you roll marbles down those slopes and hit a soccer ball in the middle. Oh, I like this game. I like game talk. Class is fun, too. What's class? I got it for my nephew. It's like magnet. It's like magnet hockey. Whoa. This is awesome. We got to do this. Fun. Can I. Where can you buy it? Great escape Bacher ball. They could have done better. Way better. You're just. You're seeing bocce ball. Damn. Yeah, it's not good with SEO. All right, we got to find a bachelor ball table. I'd like to start playing bakker ball. You'd get bored in 10 minutes. I don't think so, man. I think you might be obsessed. Is that a board game geek? Can't believe we made it. Board game geek. Good forum. Someone had an idea. I think we should do it. We should set up an ebay where we just start selling our junk and then, you know, for charity. It's a great. I like that, because we do have a lot of junk. A lot of. Yeah, you do too. That was my idea. Oh, why didn't you do it? I don't know. Well, I'm gonna do it before. You can't do it before me. Are you gonna sell your junk, Brandon? No, It'd be like. I was thinking, like, for the whole office. Yeah, but I'm saying, you have something, you can just bring it. Like, it's got to be, like, game use so that people. And it's all for charity. 100 for charity. Like, if we sold the soccer net. Well, yeah, I mean, we need the soccer net. I was thinking more like, I get gifted, like, random. We sold that, Trent. Yeah, y. Right, right. Charity. The piss trend. Yeah, I'm gonna think about that. We did that whatnot a couple years ago. Yeah, that's right. So I'm gonna. I'm. I'm gonna think about how he invented the. The Chase Lush Fund. No. Oh, yeah, My God. Yeah, that's right. So we got a con. I got a conundrum. I think you guys probably maybe are aware. I don't know if you check your emails. So we got an email yesterday from a listener saying we're being too mean to Che. That's not true. And got an email. Yeah, we got an email, which I. I actually like. So for the most part, when it comes to, you know, comment section, Twitter, Reddit, all that stuff, it's a lot of people just hating. Hating. But if someone writes out a full email, I. I will take their criticism and. And internalize it. So this person wrote the whole email. It's like, okay, that's fair. Like, we. We. We should be nicer to Che. And then Che went and lost another minus 500. What do you want from us? And it's like, what the am I supposed to do? I don't. I, I took in the email. I took it. It's like, you know what? I'm gonna be nicer to Che. And then he just does that and I can't. He. He's doing a ladder challenge and he has not gotten off the first rung. All right, minus 500 by the hooks. What do you mean by the hook? You bought up to 20 and a half. Yeah, by the hook of that. This guy is insane. He's we. What do you want us to do? I know he took spurs plus 20 and a half. The line was eight and a half. He bought it all the way to 20 and a half. The spurs lost by 21. That's just, that's just a tough break. That's all it is. Jay, it's almost insane to lose Back to back. Minus 500 bets. I'm going for three tonight. I, I like. You have to lose this bet. It would be so funny if you lose this bet now, Che, I saw, I saw online. So you're trying to get to a thousand, right? Yeah, yeah. If somebody faded you twice, yeah, they'd be at a thousand. Would they be at a thousand if you rolled over all the winnings? Yes. So what's the bet tonight? It is Denver Nuggets plus 11 and a half at Dallas. Now Denver's on the second night of a back to back, but Dallas Anthony Davis is going to be out. Max Christie's doubtful. P.J. washington's questionable. Brandon Williams is questionable. So they're trying to lose this game and they've won three of the last five and they're playing Utah the next two games. So they are trying to lose and they've won a game by double digits. This so bad. Good pick, Steve. I need this to lose so bad. So if you, if you faded it or if you do fade it, I think it's plus 352. Yes. The stairway to seven. Yeah, man, tough, tough start. But. And I'll admit I was falling skin very closely. And you know, when things started to break down in the second half, the first half was pretty even. They got outscored by 18. The second half pretty upset. And I wanted to film like a video. I was with my wife. I was like, just please go upstairs. I don't want you to see me like this. I filmed a video and then you guys were all razzing me, people on Twitter razzing me. And I went upstairs and I was like, listen, the haters are running circles around Me. They're running victory laps. And then she told me. She said, when have you ever cared about the haters? Yeah. So we're going back. Day three. Love it. Love it. And you got. You got. You got defenders out there sending us full emails. I didn't get that email. I didn't get the email either. Oh, I don't know how to check my spam. Spam. Yep, I did. So the email was, like, good points. They were like, you got. It was like. It was like. It was decent points. They're like, oh, you should. Like, Che was mad, and you guys kept on razzing them. May I. Can I interject right there? I only joined in the razzing when I saw how mad it was getting because I thought it was entertaining to see how mad he could get. It was. But that. That proves. But then he. Then he also was like, ever since Kyle slammed him. And then he said that he. I first. My first inclination was defensive, which I'm. I'm working on. But he was like, and you threw a chair at Che. And I just wrote back. I was like, I didn't throw a chair at him. You made that up. And then he's like, what about when we were doing musical chairs? Like, yeah, I passed him a chair. Yeah, you handed me that friendly gesture. But then I was like, you know what? Let's not be defensive. Let's take this criticism. So we're gonna be nicer to Che. But then he lost the minus 500. It's like, I want to, you know, hammer this guy to that email on any listeners. That said, I feel like I have a pretty good standing. I have good relationships with everybody, and I think we all are on the. Sometimes with a hammer, sometimes with a nail, and maybe I'm the nail more than the hammer, but, you know, I. I take everything in. In fun. What I got mad about yesterday wasn't that I. I don't care about that story. I don't care that I poop my pants once. Like, time out. You didn't poop through your pants. I don't want to do this again. I would like to take responsibility. I apologize. Since I've been added to the show, I do think Steve. I think, like, before I came on the show, you guys, like, never made fun of Steve ever. And then when I got on the show, I brought a negative attitude towards Steve, and you guys started to see the light, and I started to point out stuff. So I think this is all my fault, and I'd like to apologize. Yeah, I Didn't realize we are just nice to people when they're blatantly lying to us on the show. But now I know. I. I accept your apology, Mark. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry that, like, somehow. No, I don't ask. I really don't. I really don't understand how I became like the guy. Like, even Steve singled me out yesterday. Recently. I think it's how you guys look at each other. Is it because we're looking at each other? At each other and sitting next at the time? I think it, like, I don't care about anything that's really said on the show. But if I. I don't see how me lying about this story makes me look good. I didn't think you lied about it. I'm addressing why I said Mark yesterday. Because Mark fun. Namely calling me a liar. So I said no. Mark. Gay name. Well, to my point, the entire room was. That's. That's what I was. Yeah, we were. We all. We piled on and I don't like that. Right. And then I watched the Donnie clip back and everybody's just cackling in his. Like, he just turns to me and he's like, it's not funny, Mark. I think. I think before we get into it with Stephen Shay, we spin the wheel with us. One of us has to defend him, be on his side. I like that. Designated shade defender. I don't. I don't need any special protection. I know, I know you know, But I think it's. It's. But it was so funny. A fun challenge email happened and then you lost that bet. I was just like, what the do I do now? What if that person sent another email and was like, never mind, never mind. I just lost everything. My kids tuition. I will say I was pretty excited about starting that challenge and nobody cared. And now people care. Maybe they're on the other side of it, but people are paying attention. No, it's electric. Like, if you can just keep doing. If you can keep losing, minus 500 bets you. That is one of the greatest runs of all time. How long do you think it will take to finish the stairway? Hopefully seven days, but yeah, it could be seven. No, it's already been. The minimum you could do is nine. Sure. It could be nine days. It could be 39 days. Could be 79 days. I don't know. But I'm hopeful that you will finish it and it will be an awesome moment. What if the answer is never? That would suck. It's got to see one to go through Steve. It Is true. You. You now have the eyes of the nation. Yeah. Yeah. Losing minus 500 bets has really helped your gambling career. Yes. Yeah. I mean, we had a bunch of people yesterday that were tweeting their slips that actually bet okc minus 20 and a half and it was like plus 394. Love that. Shout out to those people. They're on it early. Oh, man. I. I'm the biggest Mavs fan ever tonight. It's gonna be so funny if they win by 12. It just can't happen. It can't. It can't. It won't. It might. I mean, it's gambling. There's no locks. That's true. It's a good point. Stephen Dallas hasn't won by double digits since December 6th. Good stat. Wow. They're statistically do. Just gotta get one. Just gotta get one. Just see one go see one go through one at a time. Every journey of a thousand miles starts with the. And then you're on Easy steps back. Yeah. I mean, this is supposed to be the easy street. Yeah. This was supposed to be the no doubters. By the way, speaking of Donnie, he's gonna give us a presentation tomorrow about the pads. Oh, nice. I wanted to. I want a pad. I want. I want him to tell us all about the pads. We also have to schedule a dip week with him. Yes. He's been. He's been incredible lately. Me and Kyle are shooting a video with him. He. He's been incredible. Tell me more. He can't. He. We do that. We're on the second episode of this show we did, and he had to spell the word wedge. And the video. The first video we put out, I think, was 30 minutes. I think this is. This is 30 minutes of him trying to spell wedge. Academically, he can't do, but he also can't correct or fix. Yeah, he doesn't have the red squiggly. Like a toddler is like, oh, that's a triangle, but it's actually a square. And then eventually they'll get to that. A square. Right. He doesn't get to square. Square. Very defensive. He's like, I went to a French speaking school, so I'm only used to words that end in E. Like way. That's great. Brandon, go home. No, I'm good. I'm good, I'm good. All right. Just go home. We'll tell Dana. Ready to come down. His hair looks great today. Do you not want to go home because you're in a good outfit and you look good. Haircut, beard, Looks good, too. I'll wear it next Wednesday. Will you? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Take something. Can you not stand? Yeah. What. What is this condition? I. I just decide if I do leave. And Nick, Titus, Kyle, Kate, Danny, if I leave. Yep. And Dan told me to leave. He can't make fun of me for leaving. That's right. Right. Do you all agree with that? That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I cannot. Oh, yeah. I know how you feel. It's. It's tough. It's. It's tough. But you're gonna be a zero. Like, I should leave. Go. Headaches are a tough one, too, because there's no actual, like, physical symptoms. You don't feel warm. You're not puking. There's no diarrhea to show us. Right. Right. I believe you. I definitely believe you. There's no way to prove it. It's purely trust. Get out of here. I missed Web. You missed my favorite show. Yeah, it's that time of the month. Oh, man. It's tough. Come on, get out. Get out of here. Go get yourself some Midol. Walk of shame. Oh, it's tough. I have a heating pad if you need. No, he just physically can't. It can't. I'm not allowed to say anything. You guys can say whatever you want. Okay. I'm gonna. I'll think about it. Okay. I'll think about it. Tj. Kind of a. He's our big guy. I just love our big guy. This needs a day. He's a big guy. This needs a day. Yeah. I mean, that sucks. A migraine sucks. It's miserable. Puke and see stars. Not great. Oh, man. Ed and I were talking yesterday. Big Cat, what are we supposed to do on WUB when football season's over? Should I. Like, I haven't even. Yeah, that thought didn't even cross my mind. Basketball. Ch. Ch. We're. It's. Yeah, it's going to be Che. You want to swap me seats cheap? No, but remember, there's. Then the football draft. There's the draft. Olympics. There's Olympics. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. World cup coming up. Baseball. Do like a two or three month World cup preview. Yeah. I can't get into the NBA. Try as I might. It's. I've Actually, this is partially because the Bulls stink and I hate cherries from Reinsdorf, but I. I just am NBA playoff guy. I love the playoffs. That's fine. I'll watch the championship. Brian, if it's Game seven is the worst. Did you see my. Do you guys want to hear an all time rant. Yeah. From you or. No, quote it. I mean, I could do a rant if you want me to. Yeah. Okay. The pussification of the yak and anyone. Migraine. No, I'm not gonna do a rant. No. So the backstory is. So Chuck Swirsky works for the Bulls. Yep, he does. Announcing for the Bulls. And he is, I think, not very well liked in Chicago and is kind of like a underlying secret that everyone doesn't like him announcing how. Like, he does. Because of the radio. Radio, okay. Yeah, because of how he announces her. Like, his personality. His personality. Okay. He's like a little. Kind of a little diva. Yeah. Yeah. So my guy, Sylvie, who I. I do a. I've been doing a radio hit with Waddle and Sylvie for, I don't know, like, 10 years now. Great guys, good friends. Sylvie. So the Ben Johnson thing happened with the. He said the packers, and then there were some people who were like, oh, this is classless. Chuck Schwarzky was one of those people. And Sylvia's like, what the are you doing, dude? Like, this is. This is the Bears coach. Like, what are you talking about? He deleted the tweet. And then Sylvie just eviscerated him. Eviscerated him to a level that is. Made me pumped up. And, like, there's. Radio rants are one of those things when they're done, right. It's like. It's better. It's better than any other medium for ranting. Yeah. It's pure voice. But he. He got him. So Schwarzki tweeted what Swirsky tweeted against Ben Johnson. He also has, like, everyone blocked. He, like. He just. He's one of those guys. Is he old? Is this, like an old man kind of thing? He's a diminutive, older man. Okay. Yeah. And he's kind. He's. Reinsdorf's like that. Yeah. He's like. He's a patsy for the Bulls. O. Ownership. Okay. Okay. The Bulls ownership does not care about winning whatsoever. They just. They care about getting in the playing game and selling tickets and never actually competing for a championship. Okay. Seems like a lot of people secretly don't like him. It's giving me Bernstein vibes. Yeah. It was awesome, though. All right, you guys ready for this? Yeah. It's good. How I feel about Swerski. I've had him blocked. Couple of Chuck Swi. I got to tell people, people don't realize what a bad dude he is. When. When Mac. When Mack left the station and they parted company, Chuck Sworsky was the first guy to call the bosses telling them, you can get rid of Yurko, you can get rid of Harry. No one will do a better job at that show than me trying to take fire this station. Before, when we used to put Bill Winnington on and he used to complain to about us, to our bosses that we were putting Winnington on, who was a former NBA champion, over him, and that we need to put him on the station. He is. He is a guy that will shake your hand and stab you in the back. He is one of the worst people out there. And for Chuck Swirsky to think that anybody cares about what he thinks about Ben Johnson swearing in a victorious locker room, it's absolutely ridiculous. Chuck Swirsky is another guy who will never call out Jerry Reinsdorf. He will continually kiss his ass. He will. He'd rather lose 60 games a year as the announcer of the Bulls than care about what Ben Johnson is doing with a win. That guy is awful. He's a bad dude, and he's not good at his job. I think you need to get off the fence on this issue. I don't know where you stand. I know. I finally had enough of it. Him. He would. He would shake my hand and stab me in the back. I've experienced it. I would see him at Bulls games is what he'd do. And then a day later, he was going up to Jerry Reinsdorf showing what the mean tweets that people were saying about the Bulls. What a rat. What a bad person. And I hope you give him hell. I really do. There are not many people in this business that I don't like. I care about my relationships. That is one of the worst guys. My wife told me, do not address this. Do not deserve your time. I don't know how to fight without that way. And this is one bad, bad, bad person. Can I just say about Dick Vital, I just respectfully disagree with this thing. Tells a good dude. Love it. A bad, bad, bad person, personally. Bad, bad. At his job. At his job. A rat. Oh, what was the Dick Vital thing? Dick Vital also said that Ben Johnson was classic. Oh, okay. Yeah. Which is like. All right. You know that I kind of expected that from Dicky. Yeah. Yeah. It's not awesome, baby, but whatever. But yeah. I just love a radio beef. I love it. Anybody on this other guy's side? No, not at all. That's the best kind of beef to get into. Yeah. And it feels like he. So he's been holding it because Silvi's not Like that. He's not one of those ripping people, you know, to shreds. He just had enough. It was, like, as personal as it could get without involving his family. Yeah. Bad person. Rat. Bad at their job. Yeah. Are we expecting this guy to say something back? I don't know if he has. Mikey Betts is all fired up. Mikey Betts is ready to go because he loves Sylvie. It's like his favorite person in the world. Does Sworsky have, like, a following or no. Oil fam? No. So Mikey Bets does not like Swirsky. No. Well, yeah, but on site now, it doesn't. Mikey Betts have the same attitude that Swirsky's being accused of. Of, like, being a Reinsdorf. That is true, but he's actually still. He's. He's. He's related to the Rhinestone. Okay, Got it. He's a secret. He's a secret nephew. Mikey Bets is. Yeah. Is that why he doesn't have an actual last name? I started that rumor. Oh, he defends. He doesn't defend him anymore, though. Oh, okay. Yeah. He finally realized that they're the same team every year no matter what. Yeah. But, yeah. I love him. What a day. I'm so jealous. Like, he woke up that morning and he told his wife. His wife was like, don't do it. Don'. Don't do it. I'm going to eviscerate. I'm going to have it. I got to do it. Comes a time in life. Yeah. I could end another man's life. Can I get optics on this guy Swerski? I want to see. Yeah. I have a picture in my head, and I love seeing if people look like bad guy. The bad guy from Willy Wonka. He's like a. He's like a. A Bulls Ken Rosenthal. Slugworth. Slugworth. He's. Isn't that fair to say? Sorry, what you say he's like a Bulls Ken Rosenthal, Like a little. Hmm. He's the worst. He's not gonna say shit. No, he's not gonna say anything because he knows he's. He's got. He's in trouble now. Out on the course, they're the PGA tourist best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops timeouts, overtime, and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the light. It's TGL, presented by SoFi. Keep up. It's golf. Tune in to every match. Only on espn. Yeah. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. So it's so this show. Just want official statement. Chuck Swirsky. Okay, I'm in. Bad guys. Awful bad. Bad guy. Shake your hand, stab you in the back. Imagine, like, if Kate went on a rant about somebody like that. Oh, that'd be great. That's the thing. You're so kind and gentle. When you do eventually do it, it will. It will hit. Everyone be on your side. I talked to Pat about it, but it will hit. He told me not to say this so hard. You should rant on somebody. One who? Have you ever been close? Yeah. I feel like I got, like, miffed at Miny that one time, but me and him are. We're cool. I'm over. Is there any, like, celebrity or notable person who is, like, widely respected that you just know is evil or, you know, is bad? What about they beefed with this war criminal guy for a little bit. A war criminal? Yeah. Nobody knew he was bad, and all his people were sniping me for a while. Bob. Fine. I made it to through. Yeah, we need some more of these guys that everyone's like, Chevy Chase. Did you see the Chevy Chase documentary? No, but I heard it was not a positive light at all. Well, it started with. I don't know if we could play that clip. Tj, can we play that clip or no? If the one in. Yeah, the promo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one was so. I. I don't think it is. He basically is just. Chevy Chase has basically been a dick his whole life to everyone. And then he, in the. In the documentary was like, yeah, I was really hurt that they didn't invite me up on stage for SNL 50. It's like, well, dude, you were a dick to everyone. Yeah, he's. This is. I'm just trying to figure you out. No, It's not gonna be easy for you. Why is it not gonna be easy? You're not bright enough. How's that? God damn. Well, you asked. I know you're not gonna put that on the air, and I hope not, but my answer is I'm complex and I'm deep, and I can be hurt easily, and I react spontaneously to people who want to figure me out, as it were. As somebody who will hold up my guard, I'm not going to let anybody figure me out, per se. Damn. Yeah, he just said, you're a dumb idiot. His body of Work is so good though. I know. Even Community was fantastic. And everybody who's worked with him, unanimous, unanimously, has hated him. Did you watch the doc, Dan? I watched half of it. Where is it? It's on cnn. It was on CNN Live. It comes out at the end of the month. You can watch on YouTube TV. Oh, yeah. All right, I'll watch. Yeah. I'm halfway through. I got to finish it. It's fascinated by the. That has to be. I'm fascinated by how hated he is despite, like seemingly not being a criminal. Right. You know, but like he is in a town full of just terrible people. Hollywood. Yeah. Like, he seems to be at like the top of the list of the bad people. Don't like. Yeah, bad people are like, he's a bad guy. Yeah, he's a bad guy. He's also like top of the list of guys that like, I. Not. I don't want to say daydream, but like, I think about like, how sick it must have been to be him in that one, like, stretch. Yeah, like he would. He went to. He could have been the Steely Dan drummer. Yeah, he was in stealing. I saw that. I saw that. And then he was. And then he did. And he basically went from like a no name to SNL to the biggest movie star in the span of like 2 years. All while cocaine was the best. It could possibly not be the best cocaine. Yeah. And he was kind of hot. And I think about that all the time. Like how awesome that must have been to just be like risk free. Blow a star during cocaine accessible, no social media. So when you're. When you're out, nobody can log what you're doing. And the cocaine was really good. Did you guys watch the John Candy one? I did, I did. That one was just like, yeah, he's the best guy of all time. Yeah, he's like the greatest human dude. I had to pause it. The. It opened with the Dan Aykroyd eulogy. Do you remember that? Like Dan Aykroyd's talking about how great he was. And I like, paused the. I just. Yeah, it's just, it's. I'm a minute and a half into the movie and I'm just swelling up. And it's also like the. It's a very sad story. Like his whole, you know, like his dad dying when he was a kid and then him dying when his kids were young and it's just like. But yeah, he was the man. John Candy was the man. It's gonna be like night and day though. I love Uncle Buck. Planes, trains, an automobile, home alone. Yeah. Could someone like Chevy Chase still have as long and successful of a career today, like, being a dick? He was talented. Yeah. Who's the biggest dick right now? Ellen made it pretty far. Then she got exposed and then went everyone exposed. Even, like, Diddy, which is way worse. But you heard none of that growing up. Yeah, true. Has Ellen been in the public eye? Has she done anything? Was it all because of that birthday thing? The Dakota Johnson? Yeah. I don't know. I think that's when it started. There were crazy reports that she would make interns, like, chew a certain flavor of gum around. Yeah. But then her downfall was that one interview she did where she was like, I think it was Dakota Johnson. Yeah. She's like, yeah, I just had my birthday party. And Ellen's like, thanks for inviting me. And she's like, I did invite you, and you didn't come. And then everybody was like, yeah, we can stand up to this. Yeah. Yeah. And that was it. And it was just like, yeah. You know what? This. This chick sucks. I think she moved out of the country, last I heard. Yeah. Ireland. In England or something. Yeah, I think Rosie. No, Rosie o' Donnell lives in Ireland. Oh, and Ellen moved. Did Ellen move there, too? We lost our Forefront Lesbian. We did home a year after moving to England. Well, Rosie even talked about Ellen. Santa Barbara, Southern California. Yeah. Oh, so she's back. Yeah. Wait, no, wait. Is she sold it or bought it? She's still with Porsche. Okay. Buys. Yeah. So she's back. They never stay away. No, they can't. Do you think she'll try to make a comeback? You can't get the. The NFL games are on at weird hours. That would suck. Like, do you go move to England and you're like, oh, this game started for the NFL. Yeah. She loves the Chargers. She can't do it. It's obtained a B. What's up, boys and girl? There we go. Hey, Are you ready for tonight? What's tonight? You guys don't have a game? Oh, we do. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, you're in. Oh, you're. There's rumors that four and one again. There's. Guys do film. No, I mean, I know. Have you had the chance to practice? Yeah. Have you practiced? No. Bets is. Bets's head is in the clouds. What? He's not like that. Bets. No. So what time's the game? 745. That's 9:15. Does bets. Is Bets aware that there's rumors that ownership might show up to this game? I don't know. I haven't talked to Bets about that. And that's the first I've heard about this. Yeah, there's scuttlebutt. That's coaching. First job that ownership might show up. I mean, we'll take anything we can get at this point. I don't think that's a good thing if ownership shows up. No, it's not. It's never a good thing when ownership. That's like. Like Arthur Blank being on the field, right? Exactly. Yeah. No, that's not good. And there's also an owner, a chance that ownership just goes to bed, but it's pretty late. I thought it was 7:45. So ownership. That's not good either. Who's the team you got tonight? They're 4 and 1. Oh, God. They have the most points in the league. Oh, God. And who has the least? Not us, actually. Oh. Have you played the team that has the least? No, I don't think they're on the schedule. Oh, no. How many teams are in this league? I believe 10. They're not on the schedule. How, how long you play? Six games. That adds up, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six games over the course of four months. You guys want to hear something crazy that happened? Yes. Yeah. I. I clogged the toilet at my therapist office. Did you tell her because she's not allowed? No, I had to stay in there and just like, flush and flush and flush until it. Until it went down. It took. Yes. How was. But I was in there for like a half hour. Was it a turd issue or a toilet paper? It was turd. Oh, no. Is it a single bathroom? Yeah. Give us the layout. It's like a. It's like the office is over there, and then there's a waiting room and it was in the waiting room. Oh, yes. Was anyone else? Other people are jiggling. I don't know. I was just sitting there for. Yeah, there was. You hear people jiggle the nose? A couple jiggles and. So did you leave it clogged? No, I, I, I just. I troubleshoted till. That's panic. Yes. Is there a worse place? No, I think that's the best place. No, it's the worst place. It's convenient because you could come right out and just talk about. Talk about it immediately. What was it? Was it before your. After. Oh, okay. That. Then you should just leave. Yeah. No, but it's like, I can't if I go back because they definitely know. You had to go so bad. You couldn't hold it. You had to go, right? It was one of those. Yeah. Usually when you have to go that bad and you can't hold it, it's diarrhea. This was a solid pile by the time. By the time you left, though. Did it. You left the toilet. Fine. By the time I left, it was down. How long were you. So they might not know. It was. It was half an hour and people were jiggling. Oh, my God. I'm trying, so. But that made me think of, like, the worst places to clog a toilet. The best place. I don't know, because every come out and you just get to spill your heart out. No, the worst place is a, like, girlfriend or boyfriend. First time visiting house. Their house got to be their dad's house. Anyone's house. Anyone else's house. Yeah, I have. In my house, I have a plunger in every bathroom. Yeah. Because I'm like, I gotta always be ready. I actually like the powder room, which you shouldn't even be pooping in at all. But, like, no. First floor, half. Yeah, yeah, Just like, slip in and you're pissing and you're like, I kind of got a real. Let me get a quick off. Yeah, that's. That's. That would be bad. I don't think I've clogged in a decade. What? I haven't clogged. You're the worst feeling, dude. The worst. How often you're clogged. Like, every other day. Shut the up, tj. Real shitters. Only my. My clogs are never a toilet paper issue. Mine's always if I have a clog. Mine or both. No, my toilet papers are comp. What's the best place to clog a toilet? Your own house, besides your own house. Barstool sports. Yeah, no, we have the industrial toilet, so that's good. Like a really cocky plumbing prodigy's house who loves to show off his work. No, I think that's ideal. I think the best place to clog a toilet would be like. Like a game or. Or some type of bathroom that has, like, 15 toilets. Yeah. You're like, all right, what is it? Like, Come on. Like an airport. Like, you're like, all right, this is. You're right. I'm walking away. I can tell you the worst. Well, yeah, I clogged. It was about two and a half. Two and a half. Three hours into the flight to Dubai. You clogged an airplane toilet. Okay, that is the worst. That did not agree with me. They had to whip out. It was so embarrassing. That to put the yellow tape. Out of order. Yeah. I mean that. That's the answer though. It's anytime someone else has to get a third party has to get involved. Yeah. Like shutting down the bathroom. There's no water in them to the worst place is that is an air paint. Is an airplane bathroom. You can't run away from the yellow tape either. And a tick tocker with the Ray Bans is the next one. Yeah, I've done that. I've clogged one before and like had no, you know, recourse to fix it. And then there's someone standing outside and you just gotta. You gotta give a quick like, I think it's clogged. Yeah. Somebody's just being messed that up and just move fast. The best place is your rival stadium. Yeah. Yeah. Intentionally try to foreign objects, but with your turds. First time at Soldier Field. Bad bathroom situation. Yeah, it's not great. Not good. Not good at all. Just for peeing. Yeah. Yeah. You wait in line for like 20 minutes. Yeah. You got to just not pee. Yeah. You. I'm a pee guy. Yeah, you are. Once. Let's break the seal. It's like 15. Yeah. When I was a kid, I got my ass beat for clogging the toilet one time. And then the second time I clogged the toilet, I was so scared. So I grabbed like a bunch of toilet paper and picked up the shit and then put it into another toilet. That's what you have a strong toilet. Eat your ass. With the toilet paper or with your hands. It was wet toilet paper they move a whale with. Yeah. It was disgusting. I guess. I mean, the beating worked. Yeah, it worked. Yeah, because you didn't. But, like, what? You didn't do it on purpose? Like, what did he. What. What say is he was beating you? He's just an angry man. Like, I don't know. He was just angry. And I was like, why the do you keep clogging the toilet? It's my first time. Anybody. You're spanking? Yeah, I got a spanking. Yeah. Are spanking still? Did you wipe first? Yeah, of course. Okay. That would have been a nice like on your dad. Yeah, he just slapped my ass. Shit's clattering out. Poo's just falling out. You mad at Mark right now? I'm mad at Mark. I'm mad at Dana. You don't ever. Don't Wait. No. You don't ever compare me to that rat, Chuck Swirsky. He is a rat. He's the worst person. You said kind of like Mikey Bits. Kind of like Chessworsky. No, I'm not. He's. He is the worst. I want him gone more than I want the front. I know one thing about you and your Bulls fandom through Dan, and it's that you love Reinsdorf and you'll defend him to the death. I know one thing about Chuck Schwarzky that's fair. I. I know nothing about Chuck Squirsky. I don't know his name. I'm probably butchering his name. I know that he defends Reinsdorf based on that clip. He's the worst. So when I connect those two things, I would have assumed that you were in his corner, not thumbs down. Oh, well, 10 minutes after the yak, I'll talk to you about Sorski. I'll fill you. Okay, 10 minutes. Worst human of all time, but you can't talk about it on air. He's the most pretentious. He act this holier than thou guy on Twitter. He's Bible versus every other tweet, and then the Bulls update. And then when you meet him in real life, as a fan, he has his nose in the air. He doesn't want to talk to you, no pictures, and he's just the ultimate scumbag. Any Bulls fan will tell you that. Besides the here and there ones that are at 670 or something. That's it. He's a. He's a he. Sylvie said it best. He's a rat. And I'm glad that finally somebody in Chicago has said something about him on the airwaves. Love. He's disgusting. He's a disgusting human being. That's all I have to say about Chuck. What did I do to you? You just said my head was in the clouds. Who canceled yesterday? I was right. Oh, I have. I'm editing a bunch of. It was tough time. Okay, so we made that time, and then in the morning, and then I realized at 10:30, we were missing four of our guys today. Yeah, my head's right here. I know, Mikey. I was just blaming someone. Mikey, are you. Are you worried about the rumors that ownership might show up? I hope you guys do. So you can see it's not the coach. I mean, we don't know. Yeah, you'll see. Danny, you made a noise when you. I don't know either, because we haven't watched film yet. Now he's. Now he's blaming the players. I heard there was an issue with the film scheduling. Oh, no, there always is, dude. It's never me. But you're the coach. How am I supposed to get everybody here? Well, Nikki's in. Everyone's. Everywhere. Yeah, everywhere. Tell him you got it. And then find them. Tate's sleeping. He was here till six in the morning. Excuses. Start finding them. Find them or finding. Find them. Oh, find them. Yes. Oh, yeah. Start finding them. But would it go to ownership or me? We go to ownership. $100 for anything they're late to. Okay, all right, Fair. You ready for the fine system, Dana? I'm ready for it. So, bets, is there any chance tonight? There's always a chance. I, I, we just gotta figure it out. And we need a score. Bets. How ideal is a 915 game? Win beers after. How ideal is that? It's great. I would love it. We need it to happen. I've said that. I used that speech last week. Okay, now, now how to find a new speech. How not ideal is a 915 game with ownership breathing down your neck? You guys lose. Slaughter rule again. I probably will have to get sad beers. Okay. Yeah. Let's hope ownership doesn't show up. Ownership finds something that they can watch on Netflix and they just forget to come. How do you feel your job security is. I think I'm gravy. I'm all good. Are you? Yeah. Got through halfway through the season already and we're making the playoffs. Clinched them, huh? Yeah. That's nice. You guys are too, like. No, you're not. You're not. You don't go to the playoff. I already said we're not going to the playoffs. So we don't win a game. Exactly. Last game of the year, we win the game. So you said you clinched. Well, we clinched it in their league, not our ownership rules, I guess. Correct? Yeah. You gotta win again. I think, I think we'll be fine. Is there a shot clock? No, no, I just hold the. Aren't we holding the ball? Four corners. Why the aren't we winning four to two? What are we doing? Because we care about our stats. No, that's the problem. I want to win. We want stats. Get a lead. Go balls to the wall. Like, press everything. We can't get a lead. We're down 10, nothing. Every, every day, I'm saying press, come out, press run for like two minutes, get a six to two lead, four corners. Some of these guys are like, I don't think you understand how hard it is to get a 6 to 2 league. Why don't you, why don't you guys have more people? Because I feel like conditioning is an issue. What, what if you what if you recruit more guys, get 15 players and do line changes. Dana, I've been. I've been saying this. Beginning of the season, we need. We need more guys off the bench. We do. You need more bodies, and we could just do a. Hockey. Hockey. I only have. I only have eight jerseys. Every single player on this team I've talked to about how the season's going has mentioned that you guys are gassed at the end of the games. I don't get gassed. You don't get gas? No. No, he does not get gassed. I'm not in good shape. There are some people that do get gassed, but then people here are like, oh, your condition is bad. Like, Hank. Oh, you got to run. You got to run. No, buddy, it's not. Five minutes in the game and we're down 20 to four. I don't think it's conditioning. I think it's. We need to score buckets. It's every game we've been down, like, a significant amount within the first 10 minutes, and the rims are a little shorter. They don't tell us that. Yeah. Is this going to be a sad documentary? No. It should be really funny. So far. It's very funny. Hell, yeah. But I don't. It's just. I look back at the New York teams. We were like 6, 0 and 5 and 1. But we. There were games. Tommy Smokes got minutes, so it's like. So the competition. Competition is way, way different. Are the playoffs seated? Yes. So you're just gonna play the. The best. Yeah, but, you know, we get. Yeah. If we. I'll pay for white chocolate, Spirit flight and. Yeah. Stay at my buddy's house. Deutsch. Have him play a game. Yeah. Deutsche. Oh, Deutsche. I gotta call Deutsche. Is he a basketballer? He played basketball in college, right? Yeah. He could do everything. Dude, he's the best. Maybe we get Deutsch off the. Like, in the playoffs. Yeah. I gotta call Deutsche today. I gotta talk to him. Oh, come on. Hell, yeah. Yes. Is he done with all his obligations? He is. I just gotta talk. Talk to him. What do you think your record would be if you had the New York team against the Chicago teams? Even. Oh, and four. Yes. So we gotta just get a better league. Yeah, we gotta get worse. Easier league. I've been watching the film back. These kids, they're just like. They clearly. A lot of them played in college. All their heroes are, like, Steph Curry. Like, they just love. I like this rant. I like this guys. They just shoot three and one. Their heroes are, too. It's AAU culture. We're trying to play basketball, and they're. They're. Seems they got the best heroes. Yeah. All of our heroes are born. Yeah. It sucks. How many could you lose in a row? Four. That's it. Today we win. If you kept playing, probably eight. Indefinitely. Oh, no. We'd have to win one. Yeah. People. But if people keep bringing in their ringers. Yeah. Season over. You'd lose seven. You finished six games. But then one playoff. Yes. So. Oh, and seven. What was your best loss this year? The last one. And we got. No. Yeah, it was. Yeah, I know. And what was that? Remember they played 10 minutes of perfect basketball. 43. Yeah. Yeah. After I called the timeout, we were down 20, 21 to 4. My timeout was 18 to 26. Who's the starting lineup tonight? I can't tell you. It's a secret. Every. Every game, if you kept playing in this league, same teams, is there a chance you'd go owing 100? No. No. No chance. You'd go Owen 1. There's a couple. Owen 14. I would eventually sub in and we'd be good. Do the starters know that they're starting tonight? Yeah. Our strength of schedule is. Is up there. We're playing a lot of good teams. Well, everyone's a good team. If you're a bad team. Yeah. Wait. If there is. If there are 10 teams in the league, everyone makes the playoffs. So you. You will play a play in. I don't know. I don't have. That's not. Yeah, yeah, that will be a plan. Because the top team will have a buy. It might be eight, right? It might be eight. There might be eight teams. I don't know. Yeah. Tough league. There's two games left in the season. You don't have any teams are the league. I don't know. The fact that we got to walk upstairs to go to the gym is also crazy. Like, doesn't that make you guys a little bit tired? Yeah. They should have an elevator. Yeah, they probably do. You're complaining about having to walk up. It's like two flights. I'm not even playing. Does the other team have to walk up? Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. I didn't think about that part. Yeah. How do you, like, emotionally spin this documentary to have a happy ending or a twist? Don't know what's gonna happen yet. It'll be, you gotta prepare for not winning any games. And how do you make it, you know, cinematic? That's for Beerside. I always spoil it. Cinematic romance. I mean, winning ug, there needs to be a love story. Winning a game would be huge. I think if you win a game, you gotta. You gotta just walk off and just leave with a win. Never play another game in this league tonight. Like, if we win tonight, never play again. Never play again. Like you won the championship. I'm in. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're not gonna win tonight. We might. Are you guys happy? Chance. Are the players happy that they signed up to play in this dreading? Definitely not. Like. Like, I don't think Tate is, but Tate's played two games. I think Nikki is. I think Rick is Connor. Yeah. Ebo. Yeah. Me. Yeah. So everybody. So everyone but Jay. Jay, yeah. Probably. Yeah. I'm happy. It's fun. She's always happy. Yeah. Everyone but Tate, I would say. Okay, what would you say the spread's gonna be tonight? Plus 25 and a half. 17 and a half. Okay. But the Bulls were 13 and a half yesterday, and they only lost by eight, so we'll see. Yep. So we're just trying to cover spreads now. Trying to cover a spread. Okay. No, we want to win. And the problem is, is, like. I don't know what the problem is. It's just competition going in. Competition, Competition. The refs hate us. It's. It's everything. We need to. Don't know what the problem is. We got to figure out the whys. We gotta figure out. We need to be in a beginner league. Yeah, Agreed. I feel like we haven't had a lead all season. I missed one game, but. No, we haven't. You haven't. You haven't led a game. We did lead in halftime. We were up to 14, and then we. Oh, we were blown out. And you've had sizable comebacks. You didn't, like, overtake them, but you, like, came close a few times. Right. You got. If you get a leap tonight, you should do the Lee Corso move and call timeout. Just take a picture of the score. Yeah. Get the whole team underneath the scoreboard. Yeah. Not a bad idea. Yeah. Didn't we do that in three? On three? I think so. Didn't you do that in three? On three? We did that with the. The beach volleyball. That's what it was, volleyball. We were. When we were up, like, 10 on the pros. Yeah. All right, Mikey. All right, guys. Good luck tonight, Coach. Hopefully your ownership doesn't show up. Sorry, I was just. I was throwing my. You on the bus. Oh, you got to talk to Mark, too. We gotta talk. We gotta talk 10 minutes after the act. Why 10 minutes after the act? Why not right after? Right after the act? Yeah, you decompress a little, Mark. You're stacking enemies. I'm stacking a lot of enemies. It's. Yeah, yeah. That one came out of left field. I was like, mikey, come on. Because I thought we were gonna talk about the basketball. He's like, okay, but I hate Mark. Ye. Why are you stacking enemies? Don't really know. It's my face and my name. Who else can we get Katic out there tonight? Like I said, just get someone out there to foul. Yeah, he looks like he's. Looks like he's in. Yeah. Yeah. You want to play tonight, Katic? No. Oh, he's hurt. Oh, he hurt his shoulder, I think. I think he drinks beers on Wednesdays. Yeah, beer, chopped shoulder. Don't you drink beers on Wednesdays? Yeah. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does. That's a standing date to drink beers on Wednesdays. I. I feel like sometimes I see him drinking beers on Wednesdays. I'm thinking of moving my desk to the yug station, by the way. Oh, nice. Oh, popping over there. Yeah, I know. What does that entail? What do you mean? Just like my monitor and I like that. How so? I can actually work and be on. On call if needed. Yeah, it's good career decision. That is actually a really strong moves. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, I think you would do well. Where are you going to put. You can get rid of the table. Maybe I'll sit at the table. Too high up. I think you have to your monitor faces like you sit looking out. Yeah, yeah. With a scoreboard behind me. Yeah, yeah, I think. And then you get maybe like a mini table on top of your table. That's the yug table. That's not a bad idea either. That is decent idea. Can we get you just a door frame too? They walk through to get into your office. Yeah, let's spend more money on this thing. Yeah, let's do it. Does Coletti. Does Coletti drink? No. Okay. That would have been a nice one. Oh, yeah, he doesn't. I used to watch his vines all the time. He's a man. He's a legend. My dishwasher is broken and I watched a YouTube video of how to fix it, like unclog it. And I couldn't figure it out, so my landlord sent a handyman and that guy was in my kitchen watching the same YouTube. And then he was like, yeah, man, I Don't know. And then he left. That was it. Yeah. And then now there's pieces. Do you have to pay him? It's the landlord that's going to pay him. But yeah, it was the same exact YouTube video. That's fun. Yeah. Damn annoying. So it's just not fixed? It's not fixed. Yeah. Should call a task rabbit. That's. I had a bookshelf that I couldn't get in our boys room. It's like tall and skinny and they climb on shit. So you have to like secure it to the wall. And Pat couldn't figure out how to secure it to the wall. Like, I don't. I don't know why he was trying to. And then I kept asking him too. It wasn't happening. And he went on a trip and I hired a task rabbit to do it. Yes. And when he got home, I was like, it wasn't that hard. No way. That's awesome. I hired a task rabbit for something similar and it was a woman. Oh. Oh, that's a twist. Yeah. I was just like standing there, like staring at it. I felt like, what was she doing? She's crushing it. But what was she doing? She was building a bookshelf. Okay. But I felt like I. Isn't that a manly thing to do? No. Yeah. I'm more concerned like you accidentally thought you got it. Walked into a porn. Yeah. Task bunny. You're like, oh, no, what do I do? I just felt. I was like my wife was there too. And I'm like, ah. Oh, that's a hot porn. Yeah. I do like the idea of having someone come through my house. And like, I think you're supposed to clean your dishwasher and like your washer filter in the bottom. There's like filters and stuff that we're supposed to be doing things around our house. I wish there was like a service where you could just have like a real grown up come and do that stuff in your house. Yeah. The furnace, the air filter. Yeah. You're supposed to do too much. You're supposed to do this. Rotate your tires and. Yeah. Oh, rotate your tire. Get your air filters changed. And your house, like twice a year they just show up and they do all that. That stuff. That would be a really good. And you're good. That's. Yeah. I bet they have that. They might. I came clean to Pat, by the way. I felt guilty after a while. Sure. Probably didn't last too long. I had a poorly reviewed TaskRabbit Mount My TV in New York and they did Fine. But then I looked at the reviews and this dude kept on leaving wall holes in people's walls. But he was filling them with toothpaste. And he was like. He patched the wall. He just had white toothpaste. That was like his calling card. He kept on filling the holes with toothpaste. That rocks rock. That's so cool. Especially cuz like a little tub of spackles. Maybe $3. Yeah. Right. Minty fresh walls. Yeah. I guess you'd never notice if it was behind the tv. No. Yeah. Would be easier too to spread the. I guess. It be funny too if it was like the toothpaste with like the blue streak, the red, white, blue one. The spider, Spider man, the kids one that you could swallow. You think task rabbits like get in cause a lot of affairs. Oh I think contractors do. Yeah. Cuz their photos are on there. It's like gives you their profile and stuff. A hot contractor, you got to watch out for those guys know. Yeah. A dude comes to your house and does all the things does tools that your husband doesn't even know about. Yeah. How little I know tools. Yeah. He's got a circular saw. That's all it takes. The dude masterfully using a device that I didn't know existed. He holds it up to the husband. He's like, you know what this is? It's. It's bad. I always like I'm always in the house whenever a task grab. Oh yeah. Yeah. I have to be. I've told this story before, but I did the. My. My. My firstborns crib. I had a task rabbit. That's just. You're basically saying you're not able to provide for your own kin. Yeah, that's like in the wild symbolism of your son's relationship with you. Yeah, in the wild that's just like a. A different like papa bear just stealing a child. Like I'm gonna take this child now. You can't do anything. Couldn't build a place for your child to rest as emasculated. We should have somebody here sign up to be a task rabbit just to see how they do. Oh my God. Oh my God. That is genius idea. What would he say? Everything. He can do everything. Uber driver do it all. Jack of all trades handy. How fast can Minty get banned from different like personal service. From Lyft, from Uber, from doordash. He might cause some serious damage to wallpaper, electrical help. Brandon keeps talking about spicing up the wheel. What if we had on the wheel Mincy. Mincy haircut Mincy gives you a haircut. Oh, my God. What about. There's a wheel of tasks. A wheel of tasks he has to do for you. Either paint your room. Yeah. Oh. Give you a haircut. And then it's like, how much money does Mincy end up actually costing you? Right. After all the holes. Right. Puts Mincy haircut would be. It'd be no good. That kind of. He wouldn't even know. Cook you dinner. Scissors. Cater your wedding. Have Mincy cater your wedding. Kyle. Dude. Mincy. Task Rabbit. I don't like. What's the legalities? Do you have to, like. I think you could, like, sign him up for taskrat. He'll get bad reviews. You're allowed. You're legally allowed to get bad reviews. And I think stoolies in Chicago would risk it. Yes. Like, he could landscape your yard. Okay. Yeah. We're gonna do it. Are we gonna do it? All right. We're gonna do it. Let's do it. I'm looking at all the stuff he could do. What? Yeah. What are the things that you. I would love to watch him tile a floor. What would not be a disaster? Do they have stuff as simple as, like, I need someone to do my chores. Like, there's laundry. Y. Yeah. Cleaning. Laundry. You can make furniture. No mounting clothes. That's true. Wallpapering. I can see him boxing himself into a corner with shellac. I moved one from TaskRabbit. Really? Yeah. But I ended up. I felt bad. This guy was, like, walking up and down my stair, like, my walk up in New York. And I was like, let me help you. Yeah. That's why I ended up doing a big part of packing and unpacking organization. Furniture removal, outdoor painting. Furniture removal you can maybe do. I think. I think I know what we got to do. So I think when he signs up, we have to sign up for class Rabbit. And I think in his profile, we should be completely honest. We should say, not proficient in anything, but incredibly cheap. The cheapest there is. So it's like, there's definitely people who would just be like, it. It's $5 to mount a TV. Yeah. But we're very transparent that it's not going to get done. Done. Yeah. How bad could it be? Right? M. Sit down. Sure. Looked at k. Oh, you looked at Kyle. Yeah. Very nice. Oh, wow. Got the shirt. Nice Shirts on. Shirts on sale for a good cause. By the way, congrats on Biz's new contract. You had to have had something to do with that. Yeah, clearly. You know, I have a lot of Pool at tnt. And personally, I didn't really know of biz until last week. I think there's a lot of people who probably a little bit of credit it miny. Are you proficient at all with tools? I mean, let's be very obvious and honest. What do you think, pit cat? I think the answer is no. But I. You can shock me sometimes. Yeah. Look. So the way my mind works, I. I can, like, remember phone numbers, like, photographically, and I'm great with numbers, but I get lost going to the bathroom, and I can put nothing together. Like, there's no common sense. But then there's like a little Rain man, like, Like. Yeah, number stuff. I mean, you. You saw the IKEA box stream on After Dark like I did. Yeah. Anything with that is building, shelving. No. Hanging up a picture. It would not hang. Like, I've. I've hung up pictures, but they. It's hard for me to get them straight. Laundry and folding clothes. I do do laundry. I heard about that rumor. I do my own laundry. I have washer and dryer. I can. I mean, it's a very simple process to throw the little washer thing in there. Pod. Yeah, yeah, the pod in there. And then I do. I do dry my clothes, and I, I do fold them and. Yeah, we're. I actually did that last night. Good. Okay. Have you ever helped a buddy with construction or like, tiling a floor or anything like that or done anything handy? I mean, I, I, I've tried unsuccessfully. What about painting a room? Painting a room? Yeah. That's what I was going to. I had a feeling that was coming. No, I feel like you could. I mean, I'm down to try. Like, look, whatever. Well, yeah, that's what we're gonna do. Hold on. I'm gonna have Tate join real quick because I think he's gonna have to walk you through this, but we got a new content idea. Okay. For you. By the way, are you going to Mexico? I was. I mean, I was gonna ask you about that, but. Well, why would you ask me? Well, I don't care what you do, but, I mean, are you sure? Yeah, but, like, is this a. Like, I. Not a trap? Not. Well, I want to just be abundantly transparent. Like, I would like to go, but I don't need to go. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't. I don't. You don't care? I don't really care. Is that bad? Is. Is that so that I strike that as a. Yeah, that strikes me as. Yes. It feels like A yes. It's a yes. Does that feel like a yes? Okay, well, on the Mexico thing, like, what would you. I have one. One. One caveat. What's the caveat? I, I. When I say don't care, it means also I don't care. Like, when you're going to tell me that you're going to do content, I don't, I don't think you are, so I don't. Well, do you want any? Do. Would you like any? Sure, sure. That's what I'm saying. Toss me a little content. I mean, like, look, it's. Yeah, toss me. We got a water park. We got a beach. Yeah, you know what? Toss me a little content. Yeah. I mean, if y' all ever need me, I'll have some good scenery that, that, that week for the act. Okay. Good scenery, content. Yeah, we got a water park and beaches and shows. That sounds awes. Inclusive at laa. I've never been to. Has anybody been to laa? Never been to laa. That's where it is. No. Okay, well, I, I'm. I'm taking that as a yes, but I just want to. That felt like a yes, right? Yeah, yeah, I just want to make sure. Here, like, look, how long is it? And if you have time, it's. It's Tuesday to Friday. Okay, let's toss him some content. So what are you leaving? I, I, I, I would leave. I, I'm gonna. Friday. No, no, no. I would be so. I hate that they schedule it all during the middle of a week. I need to do this. That's so Frustra. My plan would be I want to be around here at the national championship Monday and all the football streams, and then I would leave Tuesday morning and be back Saturday for the Sunday conference championships. Great. For sure. What are you. What are you doing there, Mince? Oh, I'm going. Lights for panic. Well, okay, so, look, I've done. I mean, I can't. I mean, there's no way I can win here, but I've done everything. Panic. But the LAA of Mexico do it. You got it. And, well, I've always Cloud nine, God bless them. After my Billy Strings and Panic review in June, that went real viral. They hit me up, and they're like, we want you in Mexico doing, you know, doing some content. We're like, we'll offer you hotel, wristbands, whole deal. You just got to get your flight. And I was like, look, I want to do it, but, like, I was like, I want to do it, but I. I need to stay employed more. So I have to, like, really, you know, I didn't ever want to commit because I wanted to make sure, you know, everything's good here and. But if you're telling me it's good, I mean, what do they want in exchange for the flights and everything? I have to pay for the flight. But what do they want to exchange for the. The room? Just. They wanted. They want their show reviews and, like, a little video log of the trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they just want me around it, pumping it. Obviously, I want to go, but that doesn't take rocket science. But like I said, there's like. It's like the Rolling Stones. You can't always get what you want. Get what you need. Need. This is a want, not a need. So that's why I'm being like. So you know what I mean? Like, I don't want problems out of this. And I know there's going to be something because there always is. But, like, I would rather. I don't think so. I'm kind of saying on record. Okay, you're saying a record. When is it? It's next Tuesday. Friday. Because it's right after National Championship of football. Yeah. Or three on three is what, the week after. Week after. Yep. And Super Bowls week after. And. And I going to the Super Bowl. No, I'm on the after dark. Got it. I'm on the flag football. Got it. Yeah, yeah. And then I got ball still mid February. And also while we're bringing that up, is Tay going to Turkey? I think he's checking Tate. Hold on. Let me do an ad real quick. The playoffs are here, and it's time to raise your game. Wait, what's that coming down the tunnel? It's Guy Fieri's Flavortown Sauces. Just in time to help you tailgate or pregame hit different. Just like Rams vs Bears on Sunday is an amazing matchup. We want to talk about some sauces that will pair perfectly with your next meal. Guy Fieri's Flavortown sauces slather on the bold flavors and elevate your game. You can't bring that weak stuff. It's the playoffs. That's why you bring the big guns with Guy Fieri's Flavortown sauces. This time of year demands bold flavors. Flavortown just hits different sauces and seasonings for a flavor blitz delivered directly to your dome. Personally, I love a chicken wing right off the grill slathered in OG Buffalo sauce. Or a nice rack of ribs and smoking hickory BBQ sauce. Listen, when Game day is on the line. You gotta have the flavor that brings it. Grab Flavortown sauces and seasonings. Wherever you get your groceries, you must take these sauces to the house. You can't grab them where you get your groceries. Remember, Flavortown sauces just hit different. All right, Tate, what's up? Nick just had an idea that I think we gotta pursue, and the idea is we. I. And you're gonna have to walk Mincy through it because it's gonna be difficult for him to figure this out. We want Mincy to sign up as a service provider on TaskRabbit, and he's going to sign up, and we're going to be very transparent in his profile that he does not know how to do anything, but he can do everything for an incredibly cheap price. And then you will go with him when someone says, I need you to hang a TV, and we'll have Mincy go hang the TV, and it will be $5. You know what I mean? Like, it will be like the. The price is what we're going for here. So are you good with that, Mincy? Yeah, of course. Whatever you need. You tell me to walk, I'll run, you know? Okay. So I wouldn't be following the instruction. That would not be following. So, Tate, when you're in the office tomorrow, maybe you sit down with Mincy and we create the task rabbit profile while you slow down walk. All right. I'm so glad Nick came up with this, because I'm afraid that just trip after trip might get oversaturated. This is a genius. Yeah. And you could maybe even bring Jerry, too, so that, like, there could be a happy ending where the. Where the person actually gets the services. Maybe Jerry can only sub in, like, 30 minutes into the thing. Yeah. Or, like, there's a lot of. Yeah, there's. You get, like, five minutes of Jerry. You can use it. It. You can be, like, one minute of Jerry. Timeout time in. Yeah, this is great. Okay, we'll. We'll make the. We'll document making the. The profile tomorrow. Okay, perfect. Yeah. And so just. Yeah. Maybe even tool around with TaskRabbit today and just figure out how this all goes down, and then we'll be off and running. And again, we want to be very transparent that he has no skills. But what you're buying here is the cheapest possible price. We're probably also gonna have to denote that you are allowing us to film inside. Correct. But I think. I think there'll be people who'll be fine with that. I Mean, the price is going to be. So you can't turn it down. Are we also allowed to utilize it? Yeah, okay. Absolutely. You need anything, Kate? Babysitting? I don't know. And whatever you need for tools and stuff, we'll pay for. So you guys can go to Home Depot. Okay. Oh, listen, you're gonna. You're gonna learn that Ben's gonna find some jobs that are gonna benefit him when he gets to keep. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, come. Yeah. Okay. Tate. Hey, hey, hey. I do. I do have. Tate's been unreal to me, but I. I thought, you know, like, the. You're. Tate asked me the other day. He said, you know, that all the Twitter stuff. He's like, if I get Twitter money off this, what do you want to do with it? I said, you keep all of it. Wow. What? What? You asked me that? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, said, you keep all of it immediately. We did it all. I agree. But he asked, like, that's not like a. That was nice. I don't think that was ever in question. I know, but I just. I mean, I still thought it was the right thing to do. Can I tell from my perspective what happened, Ben? Yes. Okay. So you texted me. Let me pull up our text. You texted me first thing in the morning, and you were like, hey, how much Twitter money did you make? And then I said, how would you like to split this money? And you did. You said that I should get all of it because I worked the hardest. Okay. You said, hoping you get paid by Twitter for all that. I said, how do you want to split it? You said, you can keep it all. And then you texted me back and said, but how much is it? Just curious. I said, I won't find out till Friday. And then that was the end of that conversation until we went to do Wake Up, Mincy. And I wish there was a camera on, because, Mincy, you started before we started. You were like, so. I mean, if it is a lot of money, we. You. You could split it or we could do a nice meal. I didn't say split it. I said, maybe a dinner if you got a ton. Yeah. I never said split the money. I said dinner, though. I did say that. I did say. But he. He's been very thankful. You're gonna get to keep all the TaskRabbit money. Mincy does the. Just does the task. Rabbit it. Is this, like, a good Grace thing that makes Mexico okay? No, I already said you're on to Mexico. Do you really want to go to Mexico? Yes, I want to go to Mexico, you don't need panic thing you haven't done. Yeah, I don't need to go, though. I just went New Year's, you know what I'm saying? But how badly do you want to go? Oh, I really want to go. Yeah. Then you're going. How long is it, the Mexico? It's the 11th one. Damn. It's four nighter. And then the amenities are insane. There's like. Like circles, a bunch of other good bands, like playing poolside shows. There's a water park, there's golf course. There's. It's the whole. It's the whole deal. And so I feel like. Sounds like you convinced Big Cat. Yeah, well, I mean, I. I did a hype, like, video for it a few months ago, and Dave definitely, rightfully just was like, you're the biggest grifter of all time. And he's right. But. Yeah. What are you gonna do? Deal. Minty gets to keep the money from TaskRabbit. But what if he accidentally causes some damages? He then is liable, I think. Okay, so the Tate turkey thing, and. Because my other idea was I was. I'm pushing that Mardi Gras idea. But. Yeah, I don't really. I'm not really sold on the Mardi Gras. Not. You don't think. You don't think. Can you. Can you hear my thought on it? Sure. Okay. Tate knows nothing about Louisiana culture at all. He's never been around Mardi Gras. And we have, like. I'd be everybody on a float. We'd be dressed up and, like, he's gonna be like, what the hell is going on here? Yeah, I don't. You're not buying it? It doesn't. It doesn't catch me. Okay. But maybe we'll see that this is also one that could be in a year. You know that that's an opening every year. Yeah. Yeah. That's an open invite. What kind of content have you gotten out of it the past couple years? You were. I remember it went. The first year I did it, it went like, super. Like, I got a lot. I. I remember it went pretty. Pretty big on. Pretty nuclear. Yeah, but it's just, like. It's also hard. How do I. Doc. I mean, maybe I could get, like. Don't they have the glasses that record, like, getting there, like, a thing? Because it's, like, impossible for me to be, like, filming on, throwing beads and stuff, but if I had, like, the glasses on or something. Okay. All right. Task Rabbit. All right, so tomorrow we'll get it going okay. All right. Thank you, Mincy. All right. Thank you, Tate, you big cat. All right. Date Mexico. Yeah. Make your video. I'm on to Mexico. Oh, yeah, yeah. You got Mexico. But don't say that. I don't want you to misrepresent our conversation. I won't. I just like. So then what are you going to say in the video? I'm going to say, big Cat didn't say I couldn't go to Mexico. Yeah. He said he didn't care. Yeah, he said, I'll say. I won't say. He said, yes, you can go. I said I didn't care. He didn't care. Right. Perfect. Okay. All right. I just. I just still have some concern, but what. We'll deal with it. I mean. Okay. Yeah. All right. All right. On to Mexico. On to Mexico. Back to Mexico. Yeah. Buy the shirts by the shirts. Sounds like Mexico is like the last infinity stone. It's the last one. Yeah. Done having. It's the last one. It that then. Then he's done. How would you guys react if your. If your boss said, I don't care? That would. That would be so. I would think about it for years. It does not bother him at all. But then he was just like, do you want me to make anything while I'm there? And you were still like, I don't. Yeah. Couldn't be more clear. Do not care much more. It would send me down a spiral. Yes. Dude. I. I will say. I mean, I'm in, like, a great. It's probably the best I've ever been with Miny in the fact that I've taken this approach of like. Like, I don't care. He asked if you. If you wanted any content. Yeah. And I don't care, but, like, have to ask that. All right, I'll go down here on a trip Tuesday to Friday. I love too the Marty Gr. Like, the conundrum he's in. He's like, how would I ever do something myself? I can't film myself because I don't. I don't want to have. Tate works hard. And I don't want it to be like, every time Miny wants to do something, it's like, Tate, you have to go. Yeah. Tate's. That's not fair to. That's where we have to tap in. Danny. I was also thinking this Deutsch might be good at it. Oh, Deutsch would be good. I don't know how that would work. Someone who need to be filming Deutsch. Oh, man. Deutsch. And Mincy could be a great pair. Holy. Mincy makes it sound like he doesn't know. The camera flips. He's like, how could I possibly flip cats like you? Deutsch would be filming, and you'd hear, like, buzzes and you'd be like, what is. What is Deutsch covered in bees? Yes. Turn the camera around. I want to see Deut. What's going on with you? I hear a hive. Is something leaking from Deut? Did I just hear the safety go off on a gun? Deutsch erupting right now. Deutsch. Turn the camera. But it would be Mincy doing a rib review that he says is good. Going down a slide. Meanwhile, Deutsch is explod. I think he. He also, like. I think he thinks that, like, the. Like, him in a water park is the best content the yak gets. Yeah. Yeah. What? I'm gonna be in a water park? The scenery. What's. Panic where you went really real viral. The Billy Strings. Did it go viral? The review went. Yeah, it went pretty viral. Went nuclear. Tate went to the super bowl last year in New Orleans, didn't he? Yeah. Yes. For After Dark. Yeah. Just so Tuesday. About Tuesday After Dark, Min's pitch was like. Tate's. Tate knows nothing about New Orleans movies. Oh, yeah, good point. He was just there. He was just there. Yeah. He just spent a few days. Also, I listen a year ago. Miny's done stuff at the Marty Gro Parade every year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gone every year. Yeah. Yeah. We've gotten up nothing. Boss man said he doesn't care his own money. Like, what. What is he gonna. If it were someone that had responsibilities, I'd be like, no, you can't leave for a week. What is he. What's the. Well, he was bummed that it was Tuesday to Friday, Right? That sucks. Yeah. Damn. Real pickle. But, like, what is. Like, we should just put, like, a Mincy cutout in his seat. What's the difference? It's quiet. Yeah. We're on to Mexico. Good thing he saved all that money. Yeah. He's on to Mexico. Dana, what have you been trying? That ham sandwich was not a great visual for us. No, it was funny, though. Cuban sandwich. Just three fat men staring at one single. That was. That was bad screen. Grab a caprese yesterday. It was quite something. You're to capre. Are you worried that you're going to try everything? No, I. My life has significantly upgraded since. Yeah, but, like, what if you. What if you've. What do you do after you tried everything? Yeah. This is scaring at. Go to V. Go to Viva. Viva tweeted it. Yeah. What are you going to do though? Like, if you try everything? The manage Tom. That's the goal of this though, right? I want to culture myself. But there's an ending to this. I'll never try everything. Have you folded anything into the rotation that you tried? Bruschetta I had a few weeks ago or months ago and I can't stop eating it now. Pastrami and Reubens, non stop. They're just normal things. I know, dude. And now look, my life is better now because I get to. I see a menu and I'm not scared of it anymore. I'm with you, Che, by the way, on the poop thing. I don't want to revisit it, but. No, let's revisit it. People. People like you called me out for lying about stuff I eat. Why would he lie about. I didn't cut. Why would I lie about stuff? I've never had it. What's the. What do I have to gain? Look at that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That is tough. Visual. That's lust. That is. I've seen that lust. Never been more locked in. All three of us just. Oh. Oh, my God. It looks like he's reading it to you. Van discovers sandwich, page one, Ham, Unit one. That's Big Cat's favorite book. Licks his finger to turn the page. He's always licking his. I didn't realize that. Oh my God, that's so good. Dana's reading the Boy Sandwich. What are you guys doing? Really good. How's it end? We're just catching up on Sandwich, our favorite story. And bread. Good night, Dan. Oh, my goodness. But yeah, I'm with Che, people. I am too. What's the point of lying about something like that, right? We have a show where we have to talk about. Yeah, but he's Che. No, I. I never thought he was lying. I still. We're just. I know. Sorry. It just reminded me of when people comment and say. Even people of my own. My friends in this building say, how is this possible? You're lying. Yeah, what do I have to gain? Yeah, you didn't actually get your chest pooped on. Like, what the fuck, guys? I didn't get. I actually didn't get raped in a bog. Why would I lie about that? What do I have to gain? You have nothing to gain. Someone did tag me in a tweet of a video of a guy shitting in maybe a Similar way to what Chase described. What A guy I saw in public in shorts out of his pants. I could show. It is gross. You're eating, so anyone who's eating, stop eating. Security footage at what looks to be a grocery store or a bodega or something. Okay. And I don't know, Che, maybe you can say if this is similar to your situation. It does help Chase case. No, but he stopped. He was like, trying to the guy out of his. Chase said he didn't even realize he. That. Oh, no, that's it. Wait, that was j. That's you. Wait, he. Oh. Oh, no. Why'd you step on it? Stop. That's somehow grosser than the. Just leave it there, bro. It didn't touch anything on his body. No, he didn't. And he's wearing long shorts. What's he doing? The coolest jersey. Che, I apologize. But he knew. He. I apologize. He felt it come out of his ass and he knew it was on the floor. He was actively. Yeah, but that was softer than Chase. Chase was a big, big turd. Big six. Turd Six was the. That's the density scale. It was a. Like, crazy hard. His also hit grass. I'm sorry, Che. I apologize. Thank you. Thank you. Glad we got to the bottom of that. I almost puked. I thought you did puke. I was very close. I'm seeing stars right now. The spreading, it was the part that made me shoe, but it came from such a funny looking guy. Yeah, a fat guy wearing a jersey for no reason. Yeah, it's a very funny visual. Jay, what do you got for us today? Anything good? I can't get over that picture of us reading the sandwich. God damn it. Good stuff. Oh, yeah, actually, we have something I got sent. Kate, are you tracking beeves boners? Oh, what he. Have you seen the nighttime boner trackers? That's right. Yeah. It's like a wristwatch you put on your dong. What? What wrist watch? I think we talked about guy who's trying to live forever. Yes, he does it. And then. So I guess Hard Factor, Pat's podcast. And they had a Patreon contest and he lost, so I guess as a joke he had to get it. But he has. How many is he having in the middle of the night? I don't think he'll mind. He sent me a stat the other day. He had two boners, but for a total duration of 52 minutes. Wow. That's a long time, right? Yeah, that's in the middle of the night. In the night. Yeah. I Don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I think I. It sounds like a lot. I think I get that. Well you get them in the, in the morning so maybe it's just like that until you're wake up. Yeah, I guess I have no idea. If I'm just rocked up it says so the total Duration his was 52 minutes. It's in the below average. It says over 90 minutes is good and 180 minutes of night boners is excellent according to this thing. I think I actually I, I, I don't know if we said we talked about privately but I'm. No I got my blood test. I'm. I'm. I'm fine. I have regular text. Yeah. Sucks. Sucks so bad. Sucks so bad. Yeah. I'm just, I'm a strong like respectful. You're at your pinnacle. I'm not. I'm at the lower end. It was like 300 to. It was 300 to 700. I'm at 460 so I'm a little on the low end but not in the day. I'm in the green zone. Yeah. Yeah. Were you bummed? So bummed. Yeah. Yeah. So so bummed. You might need someone double checking those stats Kate. Maybe a task rabbit or monitoring. Looks hard to me dude him trying to put mount a tv. Oh I need it so bad. How many we should do like a bet on how much in damages he causes. Especially if you're hanging something like. Yeah. I wonder if you. I. I would make a hole in the wall. I wonder if you can do in task rabbit like you pay the them. Oh we should do that. Trying to learn. We're going to give you 50 bucks if you mincy has to put down a security deposit. Yeah. Do you need like licenses for this stuff? I don't know. I think so. It's the only. It's the only hurdle. But there's all types of tasks too. It's not just yeah yeah just do my laundry. Yeah. You could organize your garage or like your. I would love to see him just in overalls too. Yeah. Look at this. He's got to have a data entry. Cooking, baking, a little red handkerchief. A handkerchief around his neck and a work he has to put in there that he can do everything. Everything imaginable. Interior design, organization, photography, power wash. Oh if he does wedding photos and it's a thumb over but it's line guys see I would hire waiting in line be really good at that he that up. That's a career for him there he Is he's gonna be our star, our tax star. You can hire someone to wait in line for you. Yeah, that's a big thing for like Apple phones and sneakers and stuff like that. People will hire. Yeah, hire Mincy. He'll wait in line for you. How can he screw that? I don't know. He's a big wanderer. You can screw that up. Yeah, he would wander out of line big time. But people might make the line shorter because they're just listening to him for so long that they would leave. Oh, he's perfect. On the phone the whole time. Picks him off one by one. He talks to the person in front of him. Yeah. Then they leave. He's got a new person in front of him. Yeah, he should. He's talking to them. Mincy should be a Mr. Beast challenge. Oh, yeah, I saw something about the Mr. The new Mr. Beast thing is out and like he didn't. He didn't test some of the games. No idea. Yeah, there was. I saw something about like that he didn't test. He didn't game test them. And so like we would never. They would just start working together and he was like in Beastland. Yeah. Oh, man. By the way, just announced Dante Moore is staying at Oregon. What do you think about that, Brent? Oh, he's probably almost home if you want to call him. What happened to him? Headache. He got a little period. Migraine. Yeah. Riola just transferred there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that was planned, that he was going to be the backup. Dante Moore did that with Dylan Gabriel. It's a QB factory, so. Yeah. Yeah. Dylan Raola. It's not why he transferred, but it's very funny that Oregon beat Texas Tech in the bowl game. Right. And Patrick Mahomes had a bet with one of his teammates and so he had to wear an Oregon jerk jersey for a day. And then a day later, Dylan Raila transferred to Oregon. Bad optics. He's perfect. Yeah. Obsessed. So now is it just Mendoza really in the draft? Mendoza, that's like a re. Like a top 10 guy. Yeah. We do the draftkings read, Stephen. I'm sad about transfers. Yeah. I mean, I think you can't discount fit growing with a team. Yeah, I agree. The bonds you make and just having like, like being like, that's our guy. Who's that kid that's onto his seventh school? Being like a young man and like having to change schools. You. It's a lot goes into that. Yep. Yeah. It's probably tough to forge friendships. Yeah. I feel bad. They gotta make new friends. Mm. NFL playoffs. Let's go. Makes every moment feel bigger. A running back cuts through the line. A strip sack flips the field. The tight end halls and the kind of touchdown grab you'll talk about four years. Postseason games shift fast, and with DraftKings live betting options, you can stay right in the Moen Plus Drash Draft. DraftKings has your back with early exit protection. If the player in your eligible NFL prop bet goes down at any point in the first half, such as George Kittle, you still get paid in cash. New customers bet just $5, and if that bet wins, you get $300 in bonus bets instantly. DraftKings sportsbook. Every drive, every play, every moment. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now. Use promo code YAK. That's code YAK YAK to turn five bucks into $300 in bonus bets. If your bet wins in partnership with DraftKings Kings, the crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800- gambler, New York. Call 877-8-HOPE and wire. Text HOPE and why Connecticut? Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org on behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass through may apply in Illinois, 21 and over in most states. Void in Ontario, restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co/Audio limited time offer. Nick TJ Finley. Yeah. Yeah, he's on. Yeah. Kyle, where do you go home to? Where do you where, like, when you're. That's an insane graphic. When he's like 40 and he wants to. You don't have to. Homecoming week. Yeah, Homecoming. Where's he going? It takes so long to forge the look, the relationships, the culture of the coaches, the teammates, even like, like your local restaurants. Like. Yeah, but then find everything new again. The counter argument would be, I've noticed this, like, being around Caleb. If you play football at a big school, the connections you have for the rest of your life are pretty insane. And so these guys are doing like six or seven schools. They do have like, connections everywhere because, like, coaches go everywhere and you know, there's the defensive coordinator goes here. It's like you just now have know everyone basically at every point program. Yeah, but I, I, I'm more on your side, huh? I'm seeing all these guys, like in wrestling. These guys from small schools, they transfer to a big program and they do pretty significantly worse. Yeah, I think it's good. I think it's good when it's like a guy goes to a school for four years and then it's like, hey, you're not gonna. You're not gonna have a roster spot. And he does one extra year. One other place that would be cool. Where it's like, this is my main school. But I had experience somewhere else. Yeah. Like you develop at a small school. You. You were good there for a reason. It was that school's culture. Yeah. We're not gonna have legends anymore, Kyle. Yeah. The. Wisconsin had a player. Fuck. What was his name? Who went to Kansas? AJ store. AJ Storr. Four high schools, four colleges. Yeah. He went to St. John's and he went to Wisconsin. He was loved at Wisconsin. He was awesome. And then if he had stayed, it would have been sick. And then he went to Kansas and he sucked at Kansas and it's like, well, fuck you. You love left. Yeah. And Kansas doesn't love him because he. He wasn't good with them and he was a lot of money. Wisconsin did love him, but then he left St. John's he. Same thing. Yeah. You're kind of just. He's an old miss now. Oh, really? Still playing good for him, I think. Go playing. But do you have more connections by doing that or do you end up with like no connection since you just left everyone? Yeah. I mean, it depends on obviously the type of person you are too. If you're a good person, you probably have a lot of connections. But are people gonna get statues anymore? They don't do statues really for college kids, do they? I feel like you got to be a coach. There's a. Is there a Tebow statue? He's the first. Oh, there has to be. Yeah. Is there. There has to be. Probably with urban statues. I don't. Maybe there's an Archie Griffin one now. Okay. But I can't remember. There's a Jesse Owens one. We need more Tyler Handsbroughs. Dean, we have no stuff. Oh, yep. Tim Tebow statues. There it is. Good call. Oh, they. Oh, I think it might be. Oh, they just do all the heism. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Oklahoma does that too. Yeah, that makes sense. If you win a Heisman, you're forever linked with that school. Sucks too. Isn't that what draws people to a super fandom of that school? And to want to go to that school and is those players and then. But they're not going to be there. It's going to be like, is that going to. Also there's a Kyler Murray. Wow. Yeah, that's because he won a Heisman. Yeah. Wait, did he win a Heisman? Yes. The last century. What? Kyler Murray. Yeah. I would disagree. Best American athlete of the last century. Not most successful. Best athlete. Because of baseball. Baseball, football and athleticism. Call of duty. Yeah. I'm gonna disagree, but I. I don't want to fight you on it. Okay. Because I don't have many other points to make. If you wanted to make like one good counter argument, you could beat me. Didn't he go undefeated in high school in Texas? Yeah. Which is. I know it's high school, but Texas. Texas, Big school, undefeated. James Winston was really good at baseball. Baseball. He won a Heisman. He won a national championship. Antonio Gates, Jul Peppers, mcnabb. There's been some good ones in the past century. I'll give this one to Kyle. Josh Allen. But baseball's so hard. Like, we know how hard it is to make it as an MLB star. And he was a first round pick. True. Was Jamis drafted first round round. Now, I'm gonna have to just. I don't wanna disagree, but I also wanna make sure you're right. James had a clause in his contract with the Bucks. He was not allowed to play baseball. It was a 15th round pick in 2012 out of high school. You might be right, Kyle. I'm. I'm gonna now say switch hitter, right? You might be right. Wasn't Russell something? Russell. Yankees. Brady was drafted in the mlb. The first round is. Yeah, Kyle's got me on that. There we go. Kyler Murray. There it is. John Elway. But you said this generation, right? Yeah, John Elway was. I said century, but. Century. Yeah. Wait, so John O. Would count John Elway 100. This. This century starting 2000 or this century starting in 19? 25. 25. Holy. Yeah. John Elway. What did he do? He was drafted by the Yankees. Oh, my God. He almost went. He. That's how he went to Denver. The Colts drafted him in the NFL draft and he said, I will not play for the Colts. I'm going to the Yankees. And then he called their bluff. What round was he taken? First round is crazy. I don't know what round. He. Wasn't Danny Ainge awesome at everything. Danny angel was awesome at everything. Literally. Thing. Yeah. Second round, Yankees. Second round, Yankees. Danny Ainge, I think was. Yeah, like he wasn't. He. Didn't he play for byu Football? Yeah, I thought they make that up. Yeah, No, I think baseball, football, basketball. Yeah. Chase Budinger. Chaser. Great. You forgot old medalist. Did I forget Him. What's the deal with Cooper Flag? I mean, but. But wait, wait, wait. Can I go back real quick? If we're doing 1925, Deion Sanders, and mind you, I'm working with, like, four facts total. Okay. You can bring up the. I haven't looked into. Dion Sanders played. Yeah. In a NFL football game. In a. In the World Series. In the same. Was the same day. 24 hours. 24 hours. I think he was on the Braves and the Falcons at the same time. Yeah. And do you notice how you're starting to gain momentum and, like, kind of beat me? Yeah. I knew you had it in. If you said 2000, I would be you. You might have had a case. But, yeah, Dion. I mean, he's a pro. He's a Pro Football hall of Famer. He's probably one of the best, if not best, cornerback of all time, and he played in the World Series. And there you go. Yeah. Pleasure competing with you. You're the. You're the better man. Bo Jackson as well. Okay. Yeah. He played in both Major League Baseball and the NFL. I think Michael Jordan has a case. Michael Jordan. Even though his baseball career wasn't good, his basketball was so good. It was so good. Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players, but in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGO, presented by SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops, timeouts, overtime, and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi. Keep up. It's golf. Tune in to every match. Only on ESPN that it counterbalances. Yeah, whatever. Shortcut. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. No, no, I'm glad you. Yeah. Titus, you had it from the beginning. What? You. You. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my. Oh, my God. Look at the banner. Oh, my God. Look at the gaun. Chilies Gauntlet. Chilies three for me. Various other things. Nikki smokes, maybe up there. All he done is one athlete of the century. Oh, my God. What would it take for someone to get a statue here? That would be awesome. If we never do that again. That would be so, so great. They left a lot of room on the. A Titus statue out front in that little grass patch. Oh, man. Man, we got the combine coming up. Which one? We do our combine. I'm not good at the combine. We're doing that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I think Hank and I got a nice twist for us. What is it? It's going to be massive. I wonder. I wonder if anyone will surprise us or if the results will be the exact same as they. Tate has to be able to bench. Like, if he can. Can't after a year. Yeah. I actually would respect it, but, like, what is so weak. And I stayed so weak. Yeah. Has she improved? I don't think. He keeps claiming that he did it before we started, which I don't understand how that's possible. He just had more skinnier. I think I'm kind of rooting for him to not do it again. Yeah. Just be like, yeah, I. I did not. Because all. All it would take is, like, benchmark punching maybe for two weeks to be able. Yeah. Anyone could do it if they just tried. Tried for a little bit. Yeah. But it wasn't like a normal. Like, it wasn't showing resistance. It was one arm kind of just. It was at a stroke. Feel like a strength issue. Can we watch it? Actually? Let's watch it real. It's like a coordination issue. So you can see it again. He gave his enemies a lot of fodder with. That's what I told him the minute it happened. He was like, what do I do? I was like, yeah. He said that to me. Side. I was like, dude, this is good. Like, you. You now have something that people can just with you. And, like, they get a free shot. Who cares? Been picking out of spots. Oh, yeah. And that's 135, which is not even. Give me one. Take. Give me one. We should have a little emergency PR dash desk here. Yeah. Expert. I take back what I said. It's worse than I thought. It's a strength. Strength issue. I take it back. It's a big time strength issue. Big time strength issue. That was way worse than I remember. Yeah. I thought he would have, like, something to blame it on. And then Max went up and did like 300. Had a holo one last night, though. He did. That was actually very impressive that they. It took him, what, like, 10 hour or what was it, 1500 shots before they hit their first one, and then they hit the next two in the next 200 shots. Good for them. Figured it out. Figured it out. We. Dana. Speaking of which, Tate after dark. Oh, wait. No, it's not you. The food. Yeah. No, I haven't heard anything we have to do. I'm open to doing again. Me, Max and K. The duck. Duck. The fast food. Yeah. Yeah. Oh boy. If k. If suck if Max says that he. He's dieting or anything. No, but I think, I think we need to maybe get taped to just be the driver and you just. Yeah, I'm in. The four of us to try to beat it. I love eating. It's so painful though. It was such a miserable. What? So it's just you, you go to like, you go to. You have to hit every. You have to hit like 15 fast food restaurants and you have to get whatever the person in front of you got so you could have a light. We got very like we went to the first place, I think it was Panera and it was just a small Mac and cheese and it was like, this is the best thing ever. And you, you, between all you guys, you can eat it. Yeah, that's fun as hell. Except for when you get to the like 12th and I think I had like six ice cream cones and like three milkshakes and I was just. I had like ice cream coming out of my nose. Yeah, it does. We were all just puking in a parking lot. Yeah. Have you, have you ever done that? Pushed your body to the limit with how much you eat? Not like for a challenge, up for fun. Yeah, like sometimes I'll just eat a lot and get really full. It's not fun though. It's like when we do the case race when we're like all jacked up to do the case race and you get like six beers in. You're like, wait, I have to keep going really fast. I did 50, 52 nuggets once. You puke? No. 18 drive throughs and 2500 calories. A thousand. 25,000. What? That's Max. No, the. This is. That's. Oh, that's es. Oh, got it. I was like, what? That's as does look like Max. Does the name Charles D. Mean anything to anybody? Charles what? Dmer? It's on the tip of mine. Charles looking at Kyle cuz I had his. His Wikipedia came across my desk not too long ago. He's a Polish soldier in like the 1700s who ate cats. Oh, what? And candles and grass. Oh, is that the guy that ate a plan plane? He might have eaten a plane. I think he ate a plane. I read about. He's. He's. No. Wait, was he just like the original shoe nice? He's the known as the greatest. Greatest eater of all time. I heard about that. We gotta get shoe nice. And he was shoe nice before shoe nice. No, we don't. He's banned, actually. Yeah, he's banned from this office. No, he's banned from the chat. Oh, okay. I don't know if he did anything bad. If he did. He got in here talking crazy a couple times. All right, never mind. I take it back. La Beast, though. That's my favorite Eater on YouTube. Yeah, this guy will put down cacti legend. Okay. I love La Beast. That goes tough. La Beast. Oh, he's the big. His crystal Pepsi video is one of these. So much in his car. His sugar free gummy bears video where he stayed miked up for. He's. He's the best. He's the best. He's still a humorant. Yeah, he's still active. Still active. Dude, I would love to get him in here. 3, 2, 1, 2. Nice. He just eats a lot of stuff or eats. Eats a lot of stuff. He eats a lot of old stuff. Eats a lot of stuff that isn't edible. He's the La Beast. La Beast. Yes. Barcelo Greg's still my favorite. That's his quote. I gotta go to the hospital. That's his. That's his tagline. Yep. He pulled a, a, A Jordan rookie at one point. Point as well. Eat it. No, but he did like scream and spit on it. And so at PSA Ford, he's been at it. This is an all time. He's still going. I started watching him when he ate the cactus. How long ago was that? 12 years. Delight. Oh, this is a. Do you know where my MJ rookie card is, tj? Yeah, it's right here. Okay. Brandon asked to buy it off me, which is like, it's kind of up because I'm not gonna really take his money. Money. So he's basically asking for it. Yeah. Right. Like, he put me in a real quandary. If I know Brandon like I think I do. I think he just wants to work for it somehow. But like, what. What if I was just like, yeah, eight grand cash? Like, that'd be a dick move of me. But also, I don't really want to give it up. But he wants it. And what is he gonna do with it? What is he gonna do with it? What do you do with it? Yeah, so I was thinking about it. Maybe I give it to him, but if he. He ever tries to resell it, I get it for $1. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. That feels fair, right? That's very fair. He can have it, but he can never resell it. And if he does, I. I automatically get it for a dollar Also you should, you should make him present it to you within like give him a 24 hour heads up that he has to show you. What I'm saying is have some sort of mechanism where it's not lost. Right. Like be like, Brandon, you now have 24 hours to. Right. Show me that you have the car. Because I don't want the two options that I don't want to have happen is he gets it, he resells it or he gets it and he just forgets it exists. Yes. That's what I'm worried about. I'm more worried. I don't think he's going to resell it. I think he's going to take it home, throw it in the pile. Right. And then just. But if he's going to take it home and cherish it, I'm all for him doing that. Cuz I'm not doing anything with it. I didn't even know I still had it. What if you called him right now and said if you drive back, I'll give you card? So mean. Be me. So mean. He went to a card shop yesterday and he text me, he's like, hey, I found this. This. It was a Mother Teresa signature and it said God bless you. He's like, do you want me to grab this for you? I said yes. And he took it up the register. It was 49, 000. Oh my God. They just have a 49, 000 card sitting out. Yeah. And he brought up. They're like, that's 49K. Jesus Christ. Who buys that? I mean I wouldn't. I. 49, 000. I know. Whoa. Rookie saint card. Are they still making new saints? Yeah, they're canonizing people. But like they just had a young guy. But like back in the day, didn't you have to either be a martyr or perform some miracle? Yes. So miracles are still happening. Men are doing miracles. This teenager miracle. What did you say? Yeah, this is. This happened before. I've got caught out of my pronunciation of. I guess it's not miracle. It's your miracle. It's okay. It's all right. It's like a regional dialect. We're from down the street. Miracle. I kind of like miracle. Miracle. It sounds very southern. Yeah. I say miracle. That could be a new word. Oh, he died of leukemia. H. You could have been a saint, Danny. Coulda. What's. What's like the latest miracle performed. That's this. This one. This one in 2020, say Tebo versus Steelers. That was crazy. Tebow should Be canonized. I think so. I think he's one of the best dudes we got. Yeah. I'd be shattered if we found out something happened. He was a bad guy. Him. Mr. Rogers. Play that again. Miracle. You're checking it. I can't. Miracle. No. Miracle. Mir. R. She's saying it different. Miracle. Mirror. Miracle. You say it. Miracle. Miracle. You say it a little British. That's how you sound, dude. So you. Miracle sounds whiny. Miracle sounds like Reese's pieces. Miracle. How do you say it? Miracle sounds really whiny. Nice. Miracle. Miracle. Mayor. Miracle. Guys walking on water. He's like, nice. Miracle. Miracle. Yeah, I also love imitation crab. Now. What. What is imitation crab? Natural segue. Yeah. Perfect right there. We had nothing more with miracle. Yeah, we had. We. We had used. We squeed. You know what? You know, it's a miracle. Imitation crab. Yeah. Once you remove the idea that it's a fake crab from your head, it's just a delicious treat. What is it exactly? Blended fish. It's just good. It's just blended fish. It's like crab. Really good. It's a very cheap. Cheap that you don't have to break a sweat over trying to like blended fish with filler. I was eating, like, a shrimp cocktail with imitation crab, and I was like, this is delightful. It's for people with allergies. Cheaper. It's just way. It's way cheaper. And you can add it to a bunch of dishes. Yeah, I'm. I'm. I think more people should incorporate imitation crab. Is that what's in a rangoon? Like a lot of. Yeah, yeah. Probably right. 99 of Rangoon. Yeah. Oh, then I'm. I'm with you, Kyle. I love imitation crap. Yeah. They pull, like, cream, mix it up in some pasta. But how do they get it to taste like crab? It's not even like crab. It's just, like another thing that tastes. It also tastes really good. I've been on the imitation crab train for years. Yeah. Crab rangoons might be the number one. Like, when it's done right, it. There's nothing. Nothing is like it. It's close to perfect. But there's been. You can have bad ones. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when it is done right, it is. I'd put it pound for pound against anything. I like them when they're in the. The triangle, the paper football shape over the. Oh, yeah. That's how I prefer, like. I'm like, almost like empanadas. Yeah. Yeah. There's a. My hometown bar has buffalo Chicken Rangoons. That's we talked about a few weeks ago. Empanada should be a bigger said that. I. Yeah. Oh, my God. Dude. Dude. Yes, Dana, have you ever had those? What? Yeah. You've never had Crab Rangoons? Yeah. You gotta try. You guys. You. I have. I don't lie. All right, guys. Dana, beers? No. You've never gotten my dick sucked. We're gonna give it a shot. I have never done cocaine. Wait. Oh, you've also never sucked a dick. No. So if. If you're gonna try everything. If I really need. How do you decide the views? Yeah, how do you decide which one you're gonna try? What do you mean? Well, how do you. There are a lot of things, Mark, that was unclear. Why. Why'd you do that? You make him look stupid. There are a lot of things you haven't tried, right? Yes. There's still a lot of things that you have on your list. Like, how do you decide which one is going to be the next one? Two days ago, I was looking at the place Tempesta for a sandwich because that's a new place I've been going to. And I was browsing the menu for stuff I haven't seen or I've never had. So. You don't. You almost let the world decide. Yes. You. You come across something. You. Yeah. You guys, I don't lie about this stuff. I do love. I do love the idea you putting everything on a wheel. I would like one small sliver. That's sucking dick. Yeah. You try that for the first time. My golden goose right now is a plum. That's. I have one that. I don't want to ask this question, but it would be the funniest video. Just do it. Have you. Have you ever tried saying the nword. Stop. Dana, you can get out of this by saying. You just have said it. Stop it. I put you in a box. Stop. All right, guys. I've never tried this before. I hand the. God. I've never. And you just drop the hardest R. And then you have to review it like you're the ones like. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, it wasn't bad. I'll definitely try it again. Now all the comments are gonna be saying that data tries. Slurs would be electric. Yeah. It wasn't that bad. It would do. It would do numbies, Dana. It would. It would do numbies. Numbies. Yeah. I would do numbies. Yeah. It's like this series has changed my life. I'm eating more brushette and I'm saying the n Word every day. Oh, me? Yeah. If you guys know any plums that are in season. I don't think they're in season. I can't find them. I want to see a. A physical activity of some sort. That's my request. Yeah, like hitting. There's a lot of. There's a lot of food. Have you ever hit a kid? Hit a kid. Back talking. Yeah. Go to a grocery store. Go to a grocery store. Find a kid that's acting out of and just grab them. Listen, lady, I. I can handle this. Just smack them. Volunteer at a vet and put a dog down. The world's my oyster. The world is my oyster. I have had oysters. Assisted suicide. Yeah. I've never. I've never killed a person I want to kill. I suppose that would make a good video. Those are all things you've never tried. Yeah. Yeah. Are holy. Yeah, that's funny. Do you think you'd like cocaine? Yeah. Yes. That's why I don't do it. Yeah. Smart. Okay, guys, it's Dana. Beer's back. I've never done this before, but I'm gonna perform an abortion. There's a lot you can do, Dana. Yeah. There's so much. The world is your oyster, not just food. That's what people. People think it's just food. I like the idea of hitting a kid. Just finding a little kid. Kid. Yeah. I guess you're doing standup next month, right? I am. Oh, there we go. I'm scared. I'll be good. But that's not. I have done it. I've done it in front of one, two people. That's not. I don't think that's stand up. That's just called going people. You mean? Yeah, it was Francis and Hannah Burner, and I just did it in front of them. Was it a video? Yeah. Oh, how'd you do? Not good. Well, Francis, like, wrote my jokes, and me and Francis have very different humor. Like, he's Francis and he's very sophisticated, and I, like, used that tone, and that's not me, as we know. First line. So back when I was at Harvard. Yeah. But I feel like my standard would be more storytelling. Definitely. Yeah. You have a lot like jokes, you know, you want to talk about flip up there, Maybe implement flip. Have you ever called in a bomb threat? No. You should do that. That'd be fun. Funny. That feels surreal. I had a dream you tried to bring a gun on an airplane. What's up, YouTuber? Honestly, it's endless. That gets him arrested. There's so Many things. I know so many things. And you just keep doing Reuben sand. Yeah. Rob a bank. Right. I got to. You got to spice it up a little. Spice it up. It's. It's getting bland, man. I don't want much pumpernickel. I want to see you kill a man. Yeah? Yeah. I want to see you flip an 18 wheeler on the highway going 70. Everyone send me some. Me? Your suggestion. Oh, that's a bad idea. Oh, man. Funny. What was your dream? Real quick? Look at you. What is this? Who did that? Come on now. So good. So intense. Put a piece of bacon in as a bookmark. That's awesome. I'm with you, though, Trey. I'm with you. Me and you, we are authentic people. We don't need to lie for clicks. Facts. By the way, did you guys see Zach? We got to the bottom of it. He. He didn't go to sleep till 5am what was an immersive game? Immersive game. What was the game? Arc Raiders. And then he told us a story about how was, like. He was like, yeah, this keeps happening to me. I was like, what? What do you mean it keeps happening? He's like, well, I've been fired a couple times for this. And then he told us a story that his dad had to fire him once, and while he was still living at home. So his dad fired him, he left the job, and they just had dinner. Oh, no. So they were at a different place of work? Yes. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. What was he doing? I don't know. Oh, let me see if he's here. It was so funny. I mean, he's just. It just keeps happening, and it's just. I know I shouldn't, like, laugh because it's like, yeah, you probably should be on time, but it's so funny how he. What were his roles before Barstool? He was a car salesman. Zach. Yeah. What? That's awesome. And then I don't know what he did for his dad, but his. Yeah, his dad gave him a job with a. Like, a partner, and the partner was like, hey, your son keeps being late. And then his dad had to fire him. Yeah, he's perfect here. He's perfect. He's neurologically built to be just a funny guy to have around. Hey, I was telling the. Sit down. What. What was the job. What was the job you were doing where you were working for your dad? Bad. That was selling cars. Oh, that was selling cars the first time. Yeah. Yeah. And then when he f. What. What time of the day did he Fire you? It was probably like. So the morning meetings at 9 didn't make the morning meeting. Was it because of video games again, too? Like, we pointed this out. Like, it's not on your dad, but he could have woken you up. He left the same place. That's not his responsibility. Okay. Yeah. It's all on me. I don't know. It's probably early afternoon, maybe post lunch. He fired you? Yeah. And then he's. Obviously, he's got a job to do, so he stayed at work. And then I went home unemployed. And then. And then you ate dinner with him? Yeah, we. Yeah. Yeah. My mom still made, you know, good meal. Did you play video games when you got home? Well, yeah. I mean, she's got to take. At that point, he's got to take the pain away. He's hopping. He got. That was. That was a dark day. Did your mom say anything? Like, how was your day? And then. And your dad was like, I had to fire our son. Well. Well, she worked there too. So you went to. Home to an empty house. I didn't know that part. Oh. Oh, my God. Yeah. You left that part out. I. Yeah. So your. It's just you and your dad. And your dad. Dad sees you out, he says, all right, Zach or son. We, like, had to talk in one of, like, the side rooms, and we, like, walked out together. And then obviously he walked back in and I left. Did you pass your mom on the way? No, I don't. Hi, Zach. I. No, she was probably working. It wasn't good. How old were you? 21, 22? Yeah. Were you just at the dinner table, like, this boss is a real piece of work to your mom. While your dad listened? No, I was silent. I was pretty silent the whole night? Yeah. Yeah, it was. Yeah. It's a bad day, you know. But then you went back to selling cars after that? Yeah. For a rival company? No. So I went to. I. They. I. After a few months, they're like, all right, we'll give you a shot, like, transport driving. So I did like. Like, some. Somebody would sell a car, and then I would. Like, if they bought in Alabama, I would drive their new car to, like, wherever they stayed. Okay. And that went okay. And I was sh. I was showing them. Good. So then it's like, you want to try this again? Like, the guy. The guy owns Auto Group's like, you want to try to maybe do it again? I was like, I would. I would love an opportunity. And I tried to do it again, and that time worked a little bit. Better. Nice. Good. So you grew. Yeah, we. Yes. Good. That's awesome. If only we had like a. I don't know, a task rabbit to help wake you up in the morning. Human alarm clock. Did your. Did your mom call you after today's episode? Well, we talk. We. We talked about it last night. What she said. It was just kind of like, you know, what are you doing? Like what's going on? And I, and I was like, you guys are right. And it's something we talked about since I was like a kid. So like these aren't new topics. Right. And they're just like we being safe. I'm like, yeah. They're like, what. What the you doing though? What's going on? And you're like arc raiders. Yeah. And I tell them that and they're like, you have to get off the game. And I was like, yeah. Oh no. Are you killing in the game though? Like you're. No, I'm not. I'm not particularly good at the game. Really? Yeah, but it's fun. It's fun. Yeah. It's like a nice little. Are you doing like a. Is it like a storyline situation? So it's like PvP and PvE. So it's like player versus environment and player versus player. It's fully immersive. That's fully immersive. That's like the other night he's lost track of time. He. He finished playing at 5:00am and he's like, oh, it's 5:00am yeah. Yeah, I don't have that. Yeah, yeah. So I said the solution is we need to start setting an alarm when he starts playing to go off at like one o'. Clock. Right. To rem to break immersion and be like, oh yeah. It's like reading a really good ham. Yeah, real good. Was saying nice sub. He was saying he had. He did the same thing a lot where he would sleep through alarms and he said he would just throw ice in his face or in his bed so his sheets were wet and he would want to get out of bed or something. Mikey bets or his wife would put make his sheets wet sleep in his bed anymore. I it up probably go to bed. It also sounds like Mikey Betts might have just pissed the bed. It was something to do with making sure the bed wife made my bed wet again. Oh, he's gonna be mad at me for telling it wrong. But didn't you hear him say that, Danny? Yeah, I think he said his dad threw cold water on his face if he didn't wake up. So then he Would just start doing it himself. Yeah. And he would hate that. The following night, he would go to bed, and his bed would be wet from not waking up early enough that morning. Yeah. I was like, well, you could just. Then he was like, so now I wake up early and do it myself. I was like, well, you could just splash cold water on your face to wake yourself up. Yeah, but you got to. You got to wake up in order to splash the water. Yes. It was a whole thing. That's probably not the method you want to take, though, is it? Is the problem that you're forgetting to set the alarm or you just don't hear it? I had to. I just had to pivot for my previous alarm set up because there was, like, a noise complaint thing going on. But I'm just gonna have to run it back and plug them all in. Yeah. The bomb alarm was getting the neighbors. Yeah. So I think I'm gonna try to tuck the bomb under the comforter so only I hear it. Like, it's almost like a silencer. Yeah. You need the. The SpongeBob alarm. The fog. I could check that out. What about some scented ones? Did you not get on TJ's thing where you had to do math? I did, but then I had a gentleman over break help me set up more. More. More steps to unlock it. And it. I couldn't figure. It was. The difficulty level was too high. I couldn't turn the alarm off. It was, like, too difficult. You were just waking up and just couldn't get your alarm. He set one where you have to, like, select the squares that light up. Like, they'll flash a pattern. You have to remember it. Like, Simon. Yeah. Yes. But the grid was, like, 20 by 20. Oh, my God. At my most alert moment, they get pretty difficult. Yeah. Oh. So I gotta figure how to reset that. Yeah, that's TJ. TJ can help you. Yeah, 10. 10 through 20. Math. We got a lot of sleep in, guys. It's okay. Yeah, that was like, Hank. Hank's Hank. We were talking about it today, and Hank's like, I can't really criticize Zach because I've done it. You never want to be a sleeping guy. Pft's done. I've thought PFT and Hanker have been dead multiple times. I'm glad they're alive, though. Yeah, very good. Definitely. But there's been, like, times where I'm like, where are they? Are they okay? So it'd be, like, noon, so. Yeah, you're good. Never want to be a sleeping guy. We Won't be sleeping, guys. No, I, I don't think you should. I don't want to be. I don't think you should say that. I'm. I'm not saying. I'm. I'm definitely not. No. Guarantee. I'm gonna. You're not gonna guarantee? No, I wasn't doing that. I was. I would like to. I wanna. I hate. Do not guarantee. Do not guarantee. No, no, no. Yeah. How old are you, Zach? 28. All right. Your. Your body will start to naturally wake you up. That's what Big is saying. He's saying there's an internal clock. He just. I I. Firing five minutes before alarm. I'm confident that if you told me any time I could wake up, I'm there too. If I got to wake up at 4 for a flight, yeah, I will. 100%. Yes. Before I would be up at 3. 45. Just happen. Yeah. Like when we do wake up, barstool. It it. I get up at 6am I'm up at 5. 45. Every single time happens. The earlier, the easier. Yeah, I agree. But it's, it's like. I don't think I've heard my alarm go off in years. I said it every night, but I don't think I've ever, like, I just. Oh, no. Not a single morning am I like, oh, turning off my alarm. I'm just up. So you'll get that. Train your brain. Yeah. Maybe we just rework some pathways, try to figure it out. I can play Zach. I already know the answer, but I'm gonna ask anyway. Have you tried Correct Culver's? Yes. You have? Yeah. It was fantastic. Mark, I appreciate the recommendation. Have you really? I did. Yeah. It was so good. It was good. It was fantastic. It was a good wreck. I'll do it again. Okay. Yeah. The ice cream is good. And the cheese curds. Cheese curds. Phenomenal. Okay. Yeah. I've been waiting for months for your. It was your wreck. We were, we were at camp. That's how long ago it was. We're up in Wisconsin, we're driving by a lot of Culver's, and Zach said something to me. I was like, you've never had Culver's. I think we ended up in. Got to try it. And then I think it was a three man Uber. It was me, you, and all business Pete. That's right, the three man. And we're just, we're just talking shop. Yeah. That is a big three. That's a. Yeah. High Noon event type. Yeah. I haven't Seen Pete in a while. I haven't either. Wonder what he's up to. What's he up to? He refused to show me what was in his thermos when I was in New York. You know what it was? I just wanted him to say it. Zach, we're. We're not doing Culver's right now. No, we're on the diet run. Yeah, we checked in. We checked in in the group chat today. We're looking good. Yeah. What, are we down? We're down. Spot. It's me, Zach Memes, and Max. We're trying to lose 60 pounds as a group by March Madness, and we are. Four of us. 15 per. What are you at now? We are at. What are we. What's our net? 20. We're. Well, we're down £25 as a group, but that was because Memes had the flu. Flu. So he lost. He lost £12 the first week. Damn good, man. How's he looking? Yeah, he was able to lose more weight on top. Like he didn't gain the flu back. He also lost weight this next week. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, so we're doing. We're. We're crushing it right now. How much have you lost, big cat? I've lost four. What about you, Zach? Two piece. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Two pounds. Yeah. Okay, we'll take that. Yeah. I had a big dinner with Max on Friday, but Max has been working out. Imagine that. Dana, try as I might, I can't even picture that. Max is a beast. I love Max. He. He can go and drink 30 beers and then. And not sleep in. Yeah, he gets fully immersive with beers. The eating challenges, the timing on that, though, with the. Yeah. On a weigh. And. Have we done the math on that? That's worrisome. Really bad. The Doug. Doug challenge is like a week before the final way, and that'll put you out of commission for a little bit. Yeah, we'll just puke it up. That's a good. That's actually a great game. That's what we did last time. It wasn't by choice either. All right, let's. We stay. We'll spin the wheel. Good job, Zach. Can't stay mad at him. No. Zach, you want to predict how many times. How many more times you will sleep in in 20, 26. I would like not to, if that's okay. Yeah, yeah, if. Yeah, but if you had to, we won't hold you. We're striving to be better every day, but I cannot. I can't guarantee a non. Or. Or Do. But if you had to just guess. I don't want it to happen again. But it may happen again. Yeah, but how much many? A smaller number than what? Like what you. We're in mid January, So we got 11 and a half months left. And if you get it spot on in December, you'll be rewarded. Yeah, sometimes some just say a number. Three. Three, Four. It can't be four. Can't be three. So it's got to be two. No, it can't be. We going up? I don't. I don't know what to say here. 1. Say whatever you want. You're not gonna l to it. One could. One's. It could happen like once a season. So that's four. Yeah, I could see that being like it's four. What's a quarter? No. So you're already done with your one for this quarter. I don't think. Well, we should. I don't. I don't want to do it again. And I'm gonna strive not to do it again. Right, but. Gun to your head. Had to predict. Gun to my head. Seasonal. Your life is on the line. Unfortunately, that's four. An honest man. That's four. Seasonal. But that's actually a good that you said it, because I don't. If you sleep in three more times this year, I think I won't. I can't be mad because you kind of said, hey, look, I'm trying my hardest, but it's going to be a seasonal part of contract. It's loser behavior that we're talking about right now. Sleeping, not making it to the time. I understand that wholeheartedly. We're going to strive to be better. But you're not a loser. It's absolute loser behavior. It is. We can. We can stamp that. That it is. It's a bad trait. Some people have it. People who don't have it. Hell yeah. Oh, man. All right, let's spin the wheel. Good yak. Oh, my God. Mincing, man. I love it. I can't wait to see him try to hang something. Something. All right. See you tomorrow. It's the act. Get your straws yak style. Stay for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah. It's time to talk shop or do a Yankees off. Is the act. It's the actual. See you tomorrow. Love you guys. Bye.