White Sox Dave Owns The WORST Rental Car In The Entire Chicagoland Area | The Yak 5-14-26

Summary

The Yak - May 14, 2026 Episode Summary

Podcast: The Yak (Barstool Sports)

Episode Title: White Sox Dave Owns The WORST Rental Car In The Entire Chicagoland Area
Date: May 14, 2026
Hosts/Regulars: Big Cat, Kyle (KBNoSwag), Steven Che, Eddie, Greg, Danny, TJ, Stephen Shay, Dave (White Sox Dave), Mikey Betts and various recurring Barstool personalities

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Overview

This Yak episode delivers classic Barstool group banter, focusing heavily on White Sox Dave's infamously beat-up car and the comedic chaos surrounding his decision to rent it out on Turo. The group also riffs about new Instagram features, phone accessories, hilarious misunderstandings, animal trades across zoos, and the ongoing struggle to make new adult friends. As usual, the energy is loose, irreverent, occasionally vulnerable, and always laced with inside jokes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Instagram’s New Features & Technology Mishaps (02:20–07:00)

• The team grumbles about confusing new Instagram updates, especially a feature that lets users post selfies to their direct message groups.
  • Kyle: “I’m trying to connect with similar-minded peers. Is that a good way?” (03:16)
• Discussion turns to Jeff D. Lowe’s absurdly long phone, equipped with a training keyboard in preparation for a BlackBerry-like work phone.
• The group reminisces about old-school texting (T9) and notice autocorrect and keyboard changes have increased their typos:
  • Kyle: “You went through like… you’ve been typoing like crazy.” (05:08)
  • Steven Che: “It lets me know that you’re not an AI bot. Humanizes you.” (05:50)

2. Orthodontic Woes & Childhood Nostalgia (07:15–10:15, 54:14–55:18)

• TJ struggles with Invisalign, confirming it’s harder to eat and speculating on weight loss.
• Teams recall braces and the cultural milestone of getting them removed.
  • Eddie: “The first glide of your tongue across was…”
  • Danny: Tells a story about getting his braces off, wearing a new Hollister Polo to church, and feeling like a model.
• The hosts compare the generational shift away from braces towards Invisalign.

3. The Gambling Nerd Wars (10:07–14:39)

• Dana recounts being trolled by “Ugly Stephen Che” on gambling Twitter after winning a big bet.
• The crew debates the spectrum between value-based and entertainment-driven gambling.
  • Big Cat: “There’s certain people out there that don’t realize... I actually think I do have a healthy relationship with gambling. The fact that I know I’m gonna lose and I’m just looking to have fun.” (14:24)
• Everyone agrees that interacting with gambling hardos is exhausting.

4. Adult Friendship: The Struggle Is Real (15:31–27:22)

• Stephen Shay relates an awkward story about mistaking a lawyer’s “partner” for a gay partner, hilariously dissected by the crew (16:05–22:00).
• The hosts challenge themselves to make new friends outside of Barstool, with Big Cat aiming for the local gas station attendant.
• Big Cat: “We all have to make a new friend that doesn’t know Barstool, then we’ll bring him on the show.” (27:04)
• The difficulty and rarity of adult male friendship is celebrated, mocked, and existentially mourned.

5. Barstool History: Who Could Have Been (13:00–13:55)

• The crew reminisces about major personalities Barstool almost signed, including Joe Budden, Lil Yachty, and Desus & Mero.

6. Animal Affairs: Gorillas and Baby Rhinos (65:47–67:45)

• Laughter erupts upon discovering that Pittsburgh and Boston zoos have traded gorillas (“Frankie,” age 7 for “Little Joe,” age 33).
  • Big Cat: “That’s incredible. 33. That’s a good gorilla, though.” (66:19)
• Updates on the new baby rhino at Lincoln Park Zoo—“that’s what a baby rhino sounds like” (68:16).

7. White Sox Dave’s Legendary Car Saga (70:27–84:44)

The Car:

• Dave’s car has:
  • Holes from his brother’s meat smoker.
  • A chunk out of the seat, dangling mirrors, evidence of previous collisions.
  • Permanent baseball mitts, catcher's gear, old thermoses, and general filth.
  • Rattus infestations and electrical issues.
  • A back fender “like someone took a baseball bat to it.”
• He used to rent it on Turo, sometimes having to get rides because his own car was in someone else’s hands.
  • Dave: “I’d make like, 300 bucks a weekend off of it. People would take it to Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia and stuff.” (108:28)
• Stories include being hit by a mail truck, losing a phone in a lake, brother’s smoker destroying the back seat, and using a crockpot excuse to abandon coworkers after a movie.
• The car and all stories related to it are beloved by Eddie and Danny, who can barely contain themselves:
  • Eddie: “It was old. I went in his car and was like, maybe. He said he had it for, like, years. And the first time I was in it… he got hit by a semi…” (77:10)
  • Greg: “He needed his car, but he’s still just giving it to a random.”
• The car is still alive; Dave vows it’s too beat up for Turo on this trip.

The Crockpot Gate:

• After seeing a movie, Dave claims he needs to get home to check a crockpot, ditching the crew for their own rides back.
  • Greg: “The whole point of a crockpot is it doesn’t burn.” (82:40)
  • Dave: “I had food cooking in the crock pot… said, you guys can hitch an Uber. I think that’s fair.” (109:18)

Final Car Bits:

• The group wants to rent “the world’s worst rental car” as a prank/content bit.
• Dave is unrepentant, seeing nothing strange about any of it.
  • Dave: “People use Airbnb… you can do that with their car!”

8. Miscellaneous Memorable Moments

• Making Fun of Each Other: Malisec (Jake) joins and is roasted for always “keeping it real” but also being comically judgmental of women with tattoos, fillers, or divorced parents (94:49–101:44).
• Podcast-ception: Group tries to cold-call various adult friends and acquaintances, including a viral new “Steven,” but keep missing each other (43:02–47:20, 117:24).
• Animal Antics: Trading gorillas, rhino updates, and referencing the famed “Fat Joe met a man the size of a watermelon in Morocco” story (33:19–34:17).
• Cultural Touchstones: “Sixth Sense” references, childhood braces nostalgia, and what makes a collector a pervert.

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Notable Quotes & Funny Exchanges

• “You went through like… you’ve been typoing like crazy.”
  —Kyle (05:08)

• “It lets me know that you’re not an AI bot. Humanizes you.”
  —Kyle (05:50)

• “There’s certain people out there that don’t realize... I actually think I do have a healthy relationship with gambling. The fact that I know I’m gonna lose and I’m just looking to have fun.”
  —Big Cat (14:24)

• “We all have to make a new friend that doesn’t know Barstool, then we’ll bring him on the show.”
  —Big Cat (27:04)

• “I don’t understand why Danny thinks this is so weird. People use Airbnb… you can do that with their car!”
  —White Sox Dave (108:10)

• “The whole point of a crockpot is like, you can let it go without burning.”
  —Greg (82:40)

• “He jumps in the lake with the dogs and hands the phone to his girlfriend… gives her the old ‘kerplunk!’”
  —Big Cat (107:01)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------| | 02:20 | Instagram Update Rant / Jeff D. Lowe’s Phone | | 07:15 | Invisalign, Braces, and Childhood Nostalgia | | 10:07 | Gambling Twitter Beef | | 15:31 | Steven’s “Partner” Law Office Story | | 18:58 | Adult Friendship: Making New Friends | | 54:14 | Getting Braces Off—A Top 5 Day | | 65:47 | Zoo Gorilla Trade/Baby Rhino Chicago | | 70:27 | White Sox Dave’s Car & Hilarious Rental Stories| | 82:03 | Crockpot Excuse / Abandoning at Movie Theater | | 94:49 | Malisec: Roasting & Relationship Icks | | 107:18 | Dave’s Car: Holes, Smoker, Crashes, and Dogs |

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Tone & Delivery

The conversation is rapid-fire and meandering, fueled by inside jokes, playful mean-spiritedness, and the kind of rapport only developed after years of group arguing and traveling together. Even as they riff on each other’s quirks (especially White Sox Dave’s legendary inability to avoid random disaster), there’s an affectionate undercurrent and a genuine fascination for the weirdness of everyday life.

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For New Listeners

• This episode offers a perfect case study in Yak banter: midwestern weirdness, a love of failed adulthood, and a constant push-pull between genuine insight and totally unserious mockery.
• The White Sox Dave car segment is a modern Barstool classic and must-listen/laugh material.
• Underneath the ribbing, there’s useful insight on making adult friends, living with embarrassing possessions, and finding humor in the chaos of daily life.

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Conclusion

This episode brings together all the hallmarks of The Yak: chaos, storytelling, unfiltered group dynamics, and the never-ending saga of friends making fun of each other in the weirdest, most endearing possible way. White Sox Dave’s rental car saga is an instant addition to the show’s legacy, and the struggle to find meaningful new friends as adults is sneakily its most relatable thread.

Transcript

[Steven Che]

Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Big Cat]

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[Stephen Shay]

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[Kyle]

The yak brought to you by Stella Blue Coffee. The best canned creamy coffee in the game. Espresso sweet cream Espresso Mocha. Go to Stella Blue Coffee.com and help fund the adoption of dogs. Help save some dogs. Stella Blue Coffee, our favorite. What's up everyone?

[Steven Che]

Hey Kyle.

[Eddie]

Good bro.

[Stephen Shay]

What's up?

[Steven Che]

How are you?

[Kyle]

That's all I got.

[Steven Che]

That's all I have.

[Danny]

That's the show.

[Eddie]

What's up with this new Instagram feature?

[Greg]

Which one?

[Kyle]

Don't get me started.

[Eddie]

Did you see that?

[Dave]

No.

[Greg]

I think that's been around for a while.

[Eddie]

Has that? No, there's a new thing. It's terrible. Kyle, you're gonna hate it.

[Danny]

Show me what's an example.

[Eddie]

So like on the bottom, like on the bottom right hand corner, there's just a bunch of people's pictures and if you click on them, like, like I

[Big Cat]

don't Know why would you want to

[Steven Che]

explain this to their face?

[Danny]

Are these people, you know, bottom?

[Eddie]

Yeah, like, look, Connor Burns posted one. It's just a selfie.

[Danny]

It's just a cell.

[Kyle]

Oh, it's an option to post a selfie?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Oh, look, there they are.

[Steven Che]

I don't see them.

[Eddie]

Go to your messages.

[Danny]

How it works, the next photo. These are people I don't even know. Oh, it's Hank. Okay, so now what do I do with this information? Do I take one?

[Eddie]

No, I think, yeah.

[Kyle]

Well, I'm trying to like connect with similar minded peers. So is that a good way to do that?

[Eddie]

Well, you don't know if they're similar minded. It's all right. Well, if you follow the face.

[Steven Che]

Interesting.

[Eddie]

There you go.

[Steven Che]

Did you see Jeff D. Lowe's phone? He's in the office. His iPhone's like this long. You see how long his iPhone is actually? Yeah, he got a full keyboard for the bottom.

[TJ]

He's always got high.

[Steven Che]

He always has. He always has a thing.

[Kyle]

Accessory.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, his phone is like a. About the size of a foot long sub. His phone's a foot.

[Eddie]

Which accessory of his are you most jealous of?

[Steven Che]

That's a really good question, Ed. There's probably some. I don't even know about the receipt maker.

[Danny]

The receipt printer is catching on. And now I'm seeing on my like mom talk or whatever parents, in the morning, the kids go over to the little receipt machine and it prints out like their morning routine and stuff. And the kids like love that shit.

[TJ]

I'm gonna need to see this phone.

[Steven Che]

He's got a long phone, but I don't know. He said he brought.

[Kyle]

What is the extension? What does it do? It's just a keyboard.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, it's buttons. It's like physical buttons for a keyboard.

[Kyle]

Does it make it better?

[Steven Che]

So the story he told me is that he is going to get a work phone, but it's like a BlackBerry. But before he commits to it, he wants to know that he' used to a keyboard again. So he. It's like a training keyboard. I don't know. He might have to get him in here.

[TJ]

I'm going to need to see this.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I got.

[Steven Che]

But he also, Kyle, he's. He's doing like an anus episode with us after this. He said he brought a piece of equipment or a piece of tech that he bought that has changed his life and his routine and he got one for us. Yeah, it's like that, but it's. His phone is so long. But he's practicing because he's going to get a click's phone.

[Danny]

I will say. Has anyone else noticed? Like I can't. All my texts are spelled wrong now.

[Kyle]

Like all my necks are really.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're.

[Kyle]

Dude, you went through like You've been typoing like crazy.

[Greg]

Dude.

[Steven Che]

Why didn't you tell me over the past year. Really?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

Oh, I think I've noticed.

[Kyle]

Look at our. Yeah, look at our texts.

[TJ]

I think I have seen some terrain riddled and littered.

[Kyle]

I just thought with typos.

[Steven Che]

Did they change all of a sudden?

[Danny]

It became harder and all my words are spelled wrong. Like everything I tap is wrong.

[Steven Che]

I think they change the size of the keyboard with an update or something.

[Greg]

The auto corrects kind of been slacking too.

[Steven Che]

God damn.

[Stephen Shay]

I.

[Kyle]

Have you called me Lyle?

[Steven Che]

I did. Lyle.

[Kyle]

That's fucked up in the group chat.

[Steven Che]

Oh, dude. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Kyle]

No, it's. I think it's kind of cool. It lets me know that you're not a AI bot.

[Steven Che]

That's good to know.

[Kyle]

Humanizes you.

[Steven Che]

Thanks, man.

[Kyle]

We should all start.

[Steven Che]

I'm doing it on purpose.

[Kyle]

Mistakes.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Show how real we are.

[Steven Che]

Relatable.

[Greg]

Remember T9? Was that what it was?

[Steven Che]

Oh yeah. I love T9.

[Danny]

What's T9?

[Steven Che]

It was the. So you wouldn't have to.

[Greg]

The old auto correct fill in type thing. Like you could just type in flip phone. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Kind of though you thought it was.

[Steven Che]

You were ubiquitous. You were hitting nine four times for X. Yeah, just.

[Eddie]

I don't know. There was just. There was some. Like. We lost some of the game with D9.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

What was the game? Ad. Long game.

[Eddie]

Badge of Honor. To be a fast typer.

[Danny]

Cuz it took.

[Steven Che]

It was.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Like.

[Danny]

Like it was like fighting with your boyfriend. Be like. Type one word out.

[Eddie]

Novel. Like you really meant that novel. If you typed out 929.

[Steven Che]

I'm trying to be more of a phone call guy.

[Kyle]

Like more of a phone call guy.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, I call you all the time, Kyle. You pick up 1%.

[Kyle]

Not call me.

[Steven Che]

Yes, I do. I call you. I'll call you before I text you.

[Kyle]

That's not true.

[Steven Che]

Yes, it is.

[Kyle]

Can look at the. Don't I answer you more than anyone.

[Steven Che]

Thank you, Dana.

[Kyle]

Turbotex.

[TJ]

What?

[Danny]

He's like X Men but with no.

[TJ]

I'm in a tough spot here. What's your tough spot?

[Steven Che]

What's your tough spot?

[TJ]

I just got Invisalign. You could probably hear it in my lisp.

[Steven Che]

Oh, yesterday after the wiener dog meetup.

[Stephen Shay]

Before.

[Steven Che]

Okay, before. And you rolled up to the wiener dog meetup with a lisp that's.

[TJ]

And now, like, I really want to eat, but it. It's annoying to eat now. So I'm just kind of, like, carrying snacks.

[Steven Che]

Wait, Just in case.

[Kyle]

Invisible. I had it just. You can just take it out whenever.

[TJ]

I know, but it's annoying to take out.

[Big Cat]

Why?

[Steven Che]

It hurts.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[TJ]

And I don't have my.

[Big Cat]

No, but it won't hurt after I did Invisalign, too. It won't hurt after. Like, you wear it and then it loosens up.

[Jake]

You didn't.

[TJ]

No, I know. Like, right now it's annoying to take my thing out if I want to snap to snack.

[Big Cat]

Yes, you're gonna get skinny.

[TJ]

But I'm just holding with me just in case I get the motivation to snack.

[Greg]

Emergency beef sticks.

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Greg]

Did you guys not have braces or did they just shift? That's why you have them.

[Steven Che]

I have brace.

[TJ]

I just never. I just never tried it.

[Steven Che]

Now I'm like, all right, might as well. I have a gap.

[Big Cat]

Cons say that. Cons is like, you're gonna lose more weight with Invisalign than you did with Ozempic.

[TJ]

Probably.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. He was like, this is my hot take.

[TJ]

Except last night, I couldn't stop eating Dunkaroos.

[Big Cat]

The problem is, when you take out your Invisalign, it's like, you're never gonna put them back in because you're like, well, I got him off. Now I gotta eat everything.

[Steven Che]

What age and decade are you?

[TJ]

You know Coach Ruda, right?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's my guy.

[TJ]

He just shipped me six packages of Dunkaroos without just. For no reason.

[Big Cat]

Just. Just because. Yeah, I love that.

[TJ]

I know.

[Big Cat]

What a guy.

[TJ]

So now I just. I'm just full of Dunkaroo.

[Steven Che]

Do they hold up?

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

No, I don't think they're as good.

[TJ]

You're having bad takes today.

[Big Cat]

You nerfed them.

[Eddie]

You said.

[Stephen Shay]

Remember the little sprinkles?

[TJ]

Not using T9.

[Steven Che]

Do they still have the sprinkles in the icing?

[Eddie]

T9?

[TJ]

Yeah. Yeah. They still got them. So good bad takes.

[Eddie]

I'm telling you, they're not as good. You agree?

[Kyle]

It's just too much work to just get a little treat. I'd rather have a cinnamon roll.

[Steven Che]

Oh, shut up, Kyle. You like crab? Wait, that is blue collar work to get a sliver.

[Kyle]

No, no, I. I like the taste of crab. That's why I never get legs. It is crab cakes. I get crab cakes.

[Big Cat]

Crab cakes.

[Dave]

Crab cakes.

[Kyle]

Favorite sandwich. Jesus,

[Steven Che]

we're at each other's throats today.

[Eddie]

Called them Lyle.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, that was up. Me, Kyle and Eddie. Just. We're at yoga this morning.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Kyle]

Yeah, we did yoga. Yeah. For a commercial sponsor.

[Big Cat]

That's funny.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, it was dog yoga. It was dog area. Eddie was in hell.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it was great.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it was awesome.

[Big Cat]

Dana, are you trending right now?

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

What?

[TJ]

Gambling. Twitter is the worst. And I. I've stayed out of it my whole life for a reason, because these guys are. These nerds are just killing me. That was a compliment to you, Steven. It was.

[Steven Che]

Oh, you call that guy Ugly Stephen Che.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

That was good.

[TJ]

That means he's handsome, right?

[Big Cat]

They're just so obsessed with value, and I get it, but they don't understand, like, there's multiple ways to gamble. You can be a. I'm only going by the book. Or you can be someone who's having fun and doing it for enjoyment.

[TJ]

And also, we're. We had a stream. I'm trying to be entertaining and also jokes on them.

[Steven Che]

You won.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I don't. You won.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Danny]

What can.

[Kyle]

10,000.

[Steven Che]

He didn't.

[Stephen Shay]

It was.

[Steven Che]

Is it the nine leg parlay? They're on the eight leg parlay.

[TJ]

No, straight bet.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, that's what I won.

[Kyle]

Absolutely brutal. What. What is his argument?

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Stephen Shay]

I went in the comments. He was saying people, if they have a bonus bet, should be like 3 to 1.

[Big Cat]

But he did do that for the other one.

[TJ]

I know. I did a nine to one and it almost hit.

[Kyle]

Oh, wait, who is this?

[TJ]

That's.

[Danny]

That's Ugly Stephen J.

[TJ]

He's like a.

[Steven Che]

He's like a valerian.

[Big Cat]

I can't stand this type of. It's a pocket watching, like, dude, just let him. It's not your bet.

[TJ]

Right.

[Steven Che]

Like, I like that you're fighting back, Dana.

[TJ]

Well, that's why I said I, I, I won $9,000. I have $9,000 more than I had on Tuesday morning.

[Big Cat]

And then they'll be like. Then they'll hit you with the reply. Well, just because you won doesn't mean it's a good bet. Okay, whatever.

[TJ]

This guy, It's a highlight of his day to get these.

[Steven Che]

I think.

[TJ]

I know I'm gonna forget about it.

[Steven Che]

You know that guy?

[Kyle]

I think I met him at Joe Budden Live show.

[Big Cat]

Oh.

[Kyle]

It's actually cool and, like, for the culture.

[Steven Che]

All right, so maybe delete your tweet.

[Kyle]

Dana, you put me on to MF Doom and the 96 Sonics.

[TJ]

Is he serious?

[Kyle]

Knows hoops.

[Steven Che]

I do. I Remember you telling me he's, like, a cool guy?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Congrats. He's a loser.

[Kyle]

Really hip with the culture.

[Greg]

Why are you at a Joe Budden live show?

[Kyle]

I got tickets. I paid for them.

[TJ]

What.

[Greg]

What song does he have? Besides depressing?

[Steven Che]

Too much, Danny.

[Greg]

You're right.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Don't go too far.

[Steven Che]

You're not gonna like what you find.

[Greg]

Curious about his catalog? No.

[Kyle]

Live podcast.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Oh, it's kind of worse.

[Stephen Shay]

He was one of the first big musical act podcast guys, correct?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Jake]

Button.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

We almost signed him, right?

[Big Cat]

I think we talked to him.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I think so.

[Big Cat]

Did you do. Did you do the one who did the show where it's like, guys, we almost signed?

[Eddie]

I think that was wrong. Yeah, I think that was wrong.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Was Little Yachty one of them?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

Was he?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[TJ]

That would have been fun.

[Big Cat]

Damn.

[Greg]

Desus and Marrow, right?

[Steven Che]

Was it a rumor?

[Big Cat]

The Cometown guys, I. I met with Stavi because I've been friends with Style for a long time. Dave. Dave was thinking about putting him on Sirius.

[Steven Che]

Oh.

[Big Cat]

I was like, I don't. I don't know this. Would David not listen to an episode?

[Greg]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

I was like, these guys are the funniest guys in the world, but I don't think. And also, like, if they had to come in every single day. Yeah.

[Steven Che]

That probably wouldn't have worked.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Like, part of the reason why Come Town was so funny was like there were many times where it was like they were pissed that they had to do one.

[Steven Che]

They did not work. They did not want to be there.

[Big Cat]

They were so mad.

[Steven Che]

It made it so good.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That.

[Kyle]

That was probably for the best.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. But those guys are. Are the best.

[Steven Che]

Did the. The guy you met at the Joe Button podcast, did he apply here? He did.

[Kyle]

That dude.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Dana. Yeah, he's the man.

[Greg]

Dana.

[Steven Che]

No, no, the guy.

[TJ]

Dude. Ugly Stephen. Ch.

[Greg]

Stephen.

[Danny]

Ch.

[TJ]

Stephen Che. Follows that guy?

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah, he was a. I don't know. I. I crossed paths.

[Big Cat]

Him. Oh, so you like him?

[Stephen Shay]

I don't know him at all.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you.

[Stephen Shay]

Like, I don't even know if I've ever tweeted it before for.

[TJ]

I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he's a nerd. He's a dork.

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah, I'm a nerd, too.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You know what it is, Dana? It just comes down to, like, there's certain people out there that don't realize, like, some people have a semi. I'm not gonna say healthy, but I actually think I do have A healthy relationship with gambling. The fact that I know I'm gonna lose and I'm just looking to have fun.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Like it's okay to be like, hey, this is not going to be some great like, get rich quick scheme.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Jake]

It's going to be.

[Big Cat]

I have a game, I want to watch it. I want to have some action on it.

[TJ]

And I did have a. I had a plus 300 that I was gonna do and it lost.

[Big Cat]

There you go. So you've been. No, no money.

[Steven Che]

$0. Now you have $9,000.

[TJ]

Thank you.

[Steven Che]

What?

[TJ]

Yeah,

[Steven Che]

you're welcome. And your. Your big one almost hit too. Was it too.

[Eddie]

So close.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh my God, it was crazy. It was.

[TJ]

And it made for a fun stream,

[Big Cat]

which is what we do. Yep. Yep.

[TJ]

Facts and paydays tomorrow.

[Big Cat]

There you go.

[TJ]

So I'm gonna be all right.

[Big Cat]

I hear an echo.

[Kyle]

Why would plus 300 be a smarter.

[Danny]

The TVs had a slight echo for,

[Eddie]

I don't know, Kyle.

[TJ]

These guys.

[Danny]

A little while.

[Big Cat]

This tv.

[Danny]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

Was it.

[Big Cat]

Oh yeah, there it is. Do you guys. Do you want to call Steven's friend.

[Steven Che]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

Stephen. Also just. I. Stephen, I don't think, you know, like, between the story you told me today and yes. And Tuesday when you. When I was like, oh, just because he has a son doesn't mean he. Like, just because he has a son doesn't mean he's straight. I don't think you understand like, what gay is at all.

[Stephen Shay]

Right.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

Well, I feel like yesterday was a reasonable mix up.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Eddie]

So to explain it to everyone.

[Stephen Shay]

So we were signing closing documents for house with a lawyer who I've met once before. He's an older guy, he's probably like 65. And my wife saw a fridge that had soda and so she's like, oh, can I go grab a Diet Pepsi? Guy was like, sure. She come back, starts drinking it. He goes, oh, my partner drinks those all the time. He has like one a day. So at the time, like, oh, look at this guy. Progressive old gay dude, sweet. Nothing wrong with that. But then later in the meeting, nothing he said. He goes. We got into a weird topic. He goes to bed at 7:30 between 7:30 and 8pm every day.

[Steven Che]

What's the weird. That was the weird topic.

[Stephen Shay]

He was just saying he. He wakes up between 2:30 and 3 in the morning every day and like does email. So he's like, doesn't leave much time for the wife. And then I was like, what? So. So I went from the car, I was like, that guy Was gay. Right. And she was like, no. And he said, like, he had a wife. I was like, well, who's his partner then? And then I guess he's a legal partner.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

But in my mind, I clocked those out. Good for, like, cool.

[Big Cat]

But he has a legal partner. Partner at his law firm that you were sitting in.

[Stephen Shay]

I don't talk to them any lawyers, so I. I don't know if I've ever even heard that thrown around. I know that exists, but I didn't know that people. Lawyers refer to other people as their partners. That's.

[Big Cat]

Well, if they're business partners, you can

[Stephen Shay]

see how I would be confused.

[Big Cat]

But he was talking about his partner drinking. Them. Whatever. Right? Yeah. Let's call your friend.

[Steven Che]

Wait, what was the. What was the moral of that story?

[Kyle]

You met a guy you thought was the bank guy?

[Big Cat]

Listen, I don't. I. He just told me this story. I didn't ask for this.

[Steven Che]

That's the first story that hasn't had a beginning, middle, or end.

[TJ]

The story.

[Steven Che]

What was the. What was that?

[Big Cat]

Were you just trying to rationalize the old guy at. At. At law office said mentioned his partner drinking a lot of Diet Coke. Steven thought he was gay. Turns out he was talking about his legal partner. Okay.

[Kyle]

Did he come across as gay?

[Stephen Shay]

No.

[Steven Che]

So, okay.

[Big Cat]

Did he try to suck your dick?

[Kyle]

So what was this?

[Stephen Shay]

Oh, no. Great guy.

[Steven Che]

Did he look at your bulge at all?

[Stephen Shay]

No, but then when he said that, I was like, oh, wow, he's divulging personal information. Good for this guy.

[TJ]

What does this have to do with his friend?

[Steven Che]

I'm.

[Kyle]

Who is this guy?

[Danny]

Is this bank at all? The bank guy?

[Jake]

He's.

[Stephen Shay]

No, this is not the bank guy. This is a totally different guy. This is a lawyer.

[TJ]

What does it have to do with that?

[Stephen Shay]

I just. I heard this in pat. Kind of in passing and thought that he was gay and he wasn't so big. I was saying that I. Because on the stream the other night. Oh, the banker.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Stephen was explaining why he thought he was.

[Steven Che]

Is the banker gay?

[Stephen Shay]

Pretty sure. Not because he has a kid, but then because, like, oh, well, he could still be gay.

[Steven Che]

Oh, yeah. There's adoption and then there's guys that are the DL man.

[Stephen Shay]

I. Yeah, I mean.

[Kyle]

But still confused. I don't we introduce this man?

[Steven Che]

No, this is a whole new man.

[Eddie]

I don't want to talk.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but I didn't ask for the story. I was standing in the. In the. In the kitchen, and Steve was like, want to hear a crazy story?

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Steven Che]

Wrong place.

[Kyle]

You were, like, kind of shocked that he wasn't gay.

[Stephen Shay]

I was shocked after he said the partner thing.

[Kyle]

But other than that, he didn't.

[Big Cat]

Didn't present his gay. Oh, did he have, like.

[Danny]

There's all kinds of different gay people that present.

[Stephen Shay]

I've never heard anyone use language like that. That's not gay partner.

[Danny]

Oh. I refer to Pat as my partner sometimes because I feel like I'm too old to say boyfriend.

[Big Cat]

Oh, did he have, like, painted nails or like streamers or.

[Stephen Shay]

No.

[Steven Che]

Was he twerking his ass?

[Big Cat]

Did he have a pommel horse that he was doing tricks?

[Kyle]

Yeah. Was he shaking his ass?

[Steven Che]

He was like, a little bit. Here, you sign right here. I'm gonna go shake my ass.

[Big Cat]

Up against the wall.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, just really. Just bouncing it.

[Kyle]

It's like Muslim prayer.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, dude, real quick.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Read over this document. Can someone grab my feet? I'm gonna twerk.

[Steven Che]

They have to twerk towards province. Provincetown every day.

[Stephen Shay]

He was the straightest looking, 65 year old old guy possible. So that's a surprise. And clocked it.

[Steven Che]

How was he sucking the straightest?

[Big Cat]

Look, was he sucking a lollipop? Was he.

[Stephen Shay]

No, he's just. He smelled like a barbershop. Like, he's just a classic.

[Big Cat]

Like a barbershop.

[Steven Che]

Okay, so wait, you smelled him and, like, really took it all in.

[Big Cat]

You smell the barbershop and you're like, this guy's gay.

[Stephen Shay]

That's why I was surprised, because he said partner and I was like, oh, all right. Didn't expect that.

[Greg]

Smell like a salon. What difference would it make?

[Steven Che]

What would have made any difference?

[Stephen Shay]

I was just surprised.

[Steven Che]

What's a gay man smell?

[Stephen Shay]

Dropped wife later.

[Kyle]

But you should. Yeah, you said. Well, straight as hell.

[Big Cat]

He did, right?

[Steven Che]

So he was.

[Kyle]

You were just married to the partner comment?

[Eddie]

Yeah, but he was double shocked. He was shocked that he found out he was gay, and he was shocked when he found out he wasn't.

[Steven Che]

As soon as you accepted he was gay, you found out he was straight.

[Big Cat]

Football with him.

[Kyle]

That's a fun time.

[Big Cat]

Okay, so that was gay of him.

[Steven Che]

Were you, like, relieved after you found out I was pretty gay. No football.

[Big Cat]

No football talk. What the.

[Stephen Shay]

No, I was not relieved. I was kind of mad because I felt like I was disgusting, deceived.

[Steven Che]

Were you acting different when you thought he was gay?

[Stephen Shay]

No, but I was like, hey, did you clench?

[TJ]

Cool.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Kyle]

So you got your mind blown twice?

[Stephen Shay]

Yes.

[Steven Che]

What a day.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Well, congratulations on the new house, friend.

[Stephen Shay]

Thanks, thanks, thanks.

[Big Cat]

And a gay best friend.

[Steven Che]

I think yeah, this.

[Stephen Shay]

So PFT texted me yesterday. He's like, what bank did you go to? And I sent him the address, and he was like, dude, I think I know that guy.

[Big Cat]

I think I tell the story, though, because I didn't tell the full story. This is you. This is two days, three days ago.

[Stephen Shay]

Okay. Yep. So I have to go to the

[Big Cat]

bank for guy who has a kid. So not gay.

[Stephen Shay]

So I go to the bank. I'm wearing box attire, and I have to do some type of not necessarily normal transaction. So I have to go into an office. But I get into the bank, I'm writing stuff down at whatever the pen station, and the dude goes, oh, we only help Bears fans here. And just like, classic dude comment. So I end up having to go see him. And then we just instantly start talking football and just ask me about the bucks. I'm asking. I'm assuming he's a Bears fan. So we're talking about that. And then we started talking about he played basketball. He's a basketball guy. He played basketball in Chicago. He said he played with, like, Derrick Rose and Iman Shumpert. So I was like, oh, cool. So we're talking hoops for a while, and then. Yeah. Talking NBA combine. Talked Bears potentially moving to Arlington Heights. Last time we Talked for, like, 30

[Steven Che]

minutes, you talk about how lemons have too many seeds.

[Stephen Shay]

No, that was more of a this morning discovery. Got the lemon in the waters. It's. It's.

[Big Cat]

It's gross.

[Stephen Shay]

There's way too many seeds.

[Big Cat]

What the.

[TJ]

Okay, you talked about sports for 30 minutes before talking.

[Stephen Shay]

It was kind of during the train.

[Steven Che]

All right, enough funny business. Let's talk bank.

[Big Cat]

You know why I'm here. It's for Bank.

[Stephen Shay]

He was doing it. It was, like, a somewhat complicated transaction. It was like wiring some weird thing.

[Steven Che]

Money.

[Big Cat]

All right, buddy, go. Go in the back. Go under the mattress. Get my money out.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, please.

[Big Cat]

It's time for bank. It's go get my jar.

[Steven Che]

Fun time.

[Big Cat]

Pick it up in the backyard.

[Steven Che]

Let's go get your hammer. Break the pig.

[Stephen Shay]

Oh, yeah. But I forgot. So we first bonded because we have the same name, same spelling.

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Stephen Shay]

Joked about how Stephen with a ph is like Stephen Curry. He was like, I use that exact example. So then I also asked him, like, do you prefer Steve or Steven? I don't have a preference. He also doesn't have a preference. So then.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, tj, relax, man. Chill, chill, chill.

[TJ]

Pretty cool.

[Stephen Shay]

But at the end of the transaction, it was like, all right, Shakan's like, see you later. But then he was like, oh, you know, if you need anything, here's my business card. So, yeah, I'm pretty pumped to call him. Maybe we'll hang out. But then PFT said he met the same guy, had the same experience. His reaction was, what a cool guy. That was the end of my tweet.

[Eddie]

Well, he gave you his business card and you're taking that as a position to call him to hang out?

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah, well, like, I don't know. What.

[Steven Che]

Have you. Have you reached out to him since this happened?

[Stephen Shay]

No.

[Steven Che]

Why not give him a ring, Give him a call.

[Stephen Shay]

Well, that's what Big Cat said he wanted to.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I want him in on the show tomorrow.

[Steven Che]

We'll see if he. Just ask him what he's doing right now.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. This guy seems like the coolest.

[Stephen Shay]

I'm sure it. I'm quite certain this is a work phone number.

[Big Cat]

Great.

[Kyle]

Did he express interest in hanging out?

[Stephen Shay]

I mean, that didn't come up, but I think he would be down to hang out.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

So Colin, just be like, hey, it's Steven with a V. No preference. Steve or Steven.

[Eddie]

Have you never met a friend, Friendly person who works.

[Stephen Shay]

No, no, no.

[Kyle]

Friendly employee person.

[Eddie]

What?

[Big Cat]

Dude, Eddie, I don't think you understand. He gave him his business card.

[Kyle]

That's the green light.

[Big Cat]

That's. That's literally like, hey, we're friends now.

[Kyle]

I agree.

[Stephen Shay]

This was like a five minute transaction. It would turn into like a 30 minute transaction because we were just chopping it up.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Just balling out with the bros. Was

[Eddie]

this like, was he behind the glass? Was it a standing transaction?

[Stephen Shay]

No. Sit down in his office,

[Big Cat]

see the

[Eddie]

PFT, get that vibe.

[Big Cat]

Like, yeah, I don't think PFT's hung out with him since, but. Yeah.

[Steven Che]

I don't even know if this first time counts as a hangout.

[Danny]

But if I was that guy, though, I would like to get the feedback that like two. Two dudes think I'm cool as. I would like to hear that.

[Big Cat]

That ended. Good friends now.

[TJ]

Yeah, I mean, I went to Chili's recently and I. And the waiter.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no, we're not laughing about the Chili's, buddy.

[TJ]

What, the list?

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[TJ]

Never mind.

[Big Cat]

No, go ahead.

[Steven Che]

Start from the top. You went to Chili's recently.

[Big Cat]

Started with a suckering sucker.

[TJ]

I went to Chili's recently and I talk sports, so I can't. I talked sports with the waiter for like 20 minutes, but that was it. Like we went on our own way.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but you didn't get his business card.

[TJ]

Yeah, but I think it's just an interaction with humans.

[Danny]

No, but I think. Pft. Remembering the guy too. This guy's like another level.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And I think you're missing the very crucial point, that he also has the name Steven, which is very rare.

[Eddie]

Spelled the same.

[Big Cat]

Spelled the same. Yeah.

[Eddie]

No preference.

[Big Cat]

That doesn't. Yeah, that doesn't happen every day.

[Steven Che]

It could.

[Big Cat]

It definitely could.

[Jake]

It does.

[Kyle]

Guys named Steven don't

[Big Cat]

make Stevens like that anymore.

[Kyle]

Men named Steven.

[TJ]

You're.

[Stephen Shay]

You're trying to make a friend too, Big cat.

[Big Cat]

I know.

[Stephen Shay]

I have to. So we.

[Big Cat]

We decided on PMT sometime this summer. We all have to make a new friend that doesn't know barstool. That then we'll bring on the show.

[Kyle]

I like that.

[Danny]

I like that.

[Big Cat]

I don't really know. I think I'm gonna try to find an old guy.

[Steven Che]

Yeah. How do you even do it?

[Big Cat]

I don't know. I got my eyes on the gas station guy around the corner. I don't think he speaks a lot of English though.

[Steven Che]

That's perfect.

[Big Cat]

He might be a perfect friend.

[Greg]

Could they not have, like, even heard a barstool?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, they gotta be like.

[Greg]

Just like. Know the Instagram.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah, that's doable.

[Kyle]

Yeah, to me.

[Greg]

Gotta go older, though.

[Danny]

Well, what makes somebody an official friend? Like, I feel like you have to go somewhere.

[Big Cat]

You know, we gotta hang out.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Cubs game.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Just gonna get in the friend market. I haven't gotten in the friend market in a long ass time.

[Danny]

Yeah, it's hard to make new friends.

[Kyle]

Intimidating.

[Eddie]

I do agree with you though. Like, more letting people know they're doing a good job should be more prevalent.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

In those settings.

[Danny]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

But that's not what we're doing here. We're trying to set up a second date.

[Steven Che]

Who's like, who's your most recent friend?

[Big Cat]

Not count. Co worker.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, it's been a while.

[Eddie]

Or barstool adjacent. You can't count it.

[Big Cat]

Does it count? Like, like parents of kids and my kids?

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

So I've made a friend. Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

I have a friend.

[Greg]

Or neighbors.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're right. I actually am friends with my neighbor.

[Steven Che]

That's good.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

I made a friend at a wedding.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Steven Che]

My boy Gutman loves Subway.

[TJ]

Is that the really handsome guy?

[Steven Che]

Yeah, I showed him to you.

[TJ]

Yeah, he's so handsome.

[Steven Che]

He sends me memes.

[Kyle]

What was his subway day?

[Steven Che]

Loves it. Oh,

[Big Cat]

what a take.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, that's when I knew I liked them.

[Big Cat]

All right, should we call him?

[Stephen Shay]

All right, so the goal is him coming into YAK tomorrow Yeah, correct.

[Big Cat]

Or today. I would be awesome. If he had a lunch break, he'd come in today. Hold on, let me do an ad. Wouldn't that be sick if he came in today?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

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[Eddie]

I don't believe anything. Connor Burns gave me two fake games and now I'm just like, oh, I,

[Big Cat]

I was excited because there's a couple of games we can go to.

[Eddie]

There is some, some Monday and Thursdays.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Monday night Eagles week three. Thursday night, week seven. Patriots here. Both of them here. Let's go to them.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that'd be fun.

[TJ]

Yes. Yeah, I think my dad texted me immediately and was like, I'm coming, I'm coming.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, we'll go to that game.

[TJ]

Yeah, sick.

[Big Cat]

Monday and Thursday night games.

[Eddie]

Go to them. Yeah, I think we're Seattle Monday night too. I heard. Oh, at Seattle.

[Big Cat]

I'm not going to go to that.

[Eddie]

Never been.

[Kyle]

Have you guys been to Seattle for a football game?

[Big Cat]

Not for a football game, but I've been to Seattle.

[Eddie]

How is it?

[Big Cat]

It's nice. I like it. I went to Portland and Seattle like probably like seven or eight years ago. It's a cool area. They have their, their highways kind of messed up. It actually is like I think we take for granted in Chicago how good of a job the city of Chicago has always done protecting the lakefront.

[Steven Che]

Oh, yeah.

[Danny]

Because their highway goes right through this. Yeah.

[Steven Che]

When you go to Cleveland, they've. They put their worst there.

[Big Cat]

Right, right. And it's like to like even play. Like when I played on Sidney Marovitz the, the public course. Like that's crazy that that exists. Like right on the lakefront. That's, that's like billion Dollar property.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Frustrating in some parts, but it's overall good.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Definitely good. Yeah. Not every. When you go to a city that doesn't have. You're like, oh, this kind of sucks.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Their highway is literally right up on it. Yep.

[Steven Che]

What was Dante's tweet about with Livy Dunn? And then you, quote, tweeted it.

[Eddie]

He. He, quote, tweeted he's surprised that Paul Skeens. Well, there's a picture of her and Jimmy Goldstein.

[Steven Che]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

The.

[Eddie]

The Lakers guy.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And he said he's surprised that skiing's allows her to hang out those guys with these people.

[Danny]

Allowing.

[Greg]

Allowing.

[Steven Che]

Livy.

[Kyle]

Oh, no.

[Steven Che]

That's a twofer.

[Kyle]

Allowing is tough.

[Greg]

I love his emojis.

[Steven Che]

I don't know.

[Danny]

He's 52.

[Steven Che]

It's like a rich man.

[Eddie]

Famous.

[Danny]

He goes to all that. He's kind of like the guy who wears the orange Marlins man kind of guy. But for basketball.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Steven Che]

He has a crazy house too.

[Mikey Betts]

Right.

[Danny]

He goes to all the NBA games for.

[Greg]

Does he have a bad rep?

[Steven Che]

Did Ron bump in, like, walk through his glass door? Didn't Ron bump into his glass door real hard? I think it was the only uncool thing Ron's ever done.

[TJ]

Oh, yeah. But he played it off.

[Steven Che]

It broke my heart.

[TJ]

He looked cool after.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, he did, for sure.

[Danny]

At the guy's house.

[Steven Che]

I think so.

[TJ]

Ever seen it?

[Steven Che]

It's. It's a really loud. It's one of the loudest bonks you can hear. But, like, a guy like that probably has the most transparent glass.

[Stephen Shay]

Definitely Goldstein.

[Eddie]

He's worth 200 million.

[Steven Che]

Goldstein.

[Danny]

How do you make his money? He's a tiny man.

[Big Cat]

Goes to every NBA game.

[Danny]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Tiny.

[Danny]

He's like a teeny, tiny little.

[Big Cat]

He is a tiny man. He's a very small. Like, how tiny Back, like.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

You guys both said pocket.

[Danny]

I know, but that's when I saw him. I was like, oh, I can put that man in my pocket.

[Big Cat]

Well, you could. He could. He could fit nicely in the luggage.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Carry on.

[Danny]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Steven Che]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Definitely backpack. You backpack.

[Danny]

In my mind, he's like the Marlins man of basketball.

[Kyle]

Like, how tiny.

[Big Cat]

You could backpack him. Oh,

[Greg]

did you get that?

[Danny]

I never saw that. A.

[Big Cat]

That's the worst feeling walking into a door.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, I'll do it. Just screams your own scream.

[TJ]

This weekend.

[Kyle]

You see, Fat Joe met a guy the size of a watermelon in Morocco.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Steven Che]

Yeah, I did. Yeah, we all did. Let's move on to the next subject.

[Big Cat]

I'd like to see that.

[Kyle]

So funny.

[Steven Che]

I Could have never guessed the next word you were going to say.

[Kyle]

Joe said he went to Morocco and met a little tiny man the size of a watermelon in the club.

[Steven Che]

He's a. Oh, he sit on a melon.

[Kyle]

Is that him?

[Big Cat]

It's got

[Steven Che]

Kyle. I think that's got. That's got to be the melon sized man who recorded this.

[Danny]

Just this guy.

[Kyle]

This random.

[Big Cat]

This random said he's a real guy. I like that he said he's a real guy.

[Kyle]

French Montana knows.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, he's real. French knows him.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But like the. The watermelon man saying, hey, guess. Just so you know, I am a real guy.

[Steven Che]

Ask French Montana.

[Kyle]

That would make.

[Big Cat]

He'll vouch for my realness.

[Steven Che]

Oh yeah, he's real.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. That had a blown Fat Joe's mind.

[Kyle]

That would be amazing.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

To be Fat Joe in a Moroccan

[Kyle]

club like and be at the club and see it. A tiny man.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

You see the Bosco video?

[Big Cat]

No.

[TJ]

Oh, I think it's on vivo.

[Big Cat]

What happened?

[TJ]

I just saw it. I'm a writer.

[Eddie]

I just freak out.

[TJ]

No, no, I would have been on one. Not a freak out.

[Steven Che]

Fosco's been on one.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Like silently, like off.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Almost everyone in the office is helping participate in the new Marty versus video.

[Big Cat]

And you show your support for the winner or your thoughtful winner real quick. Oh, no. That's gonna piss him off.

[Steven Che]

Who filmed this?

[Big Cat]

That's.

[TJ]

This kind of smells like a setup though.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that.

[TJ]

It's probably right in a blog.

[Big Cat]

That's gonna piss him off bad, you guys. Wait, what was this?

[Stephen Shay]

So I said, hey, everyone coming. Everyone showed up that was here like that are. Isn't traveling. Like no one. Everyone was very supportive of it.

[Greg]

I think every single person that's not traveling was here today.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, like.

[Stephen Shay]

And that's what I'm saying.

[Greg]

I had a blast.

[Stephen Shay]

No one gave me. Even people that like. Some people couldn't make it and they texted me being like, I'm really sorry again. It's just nice. It's nice when people care about your thing you're doing and you feel bad because there's music. We had pop punk learn the guy's whole fucking song.

[TJ]

Like, they put a lot of work into it.

[Greg]

Crushed it.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, it was.

[Stephen Shay]

It was very fun. So I wasn't gonna talk about it yet because wait until the video comes out. It's gonna take like two or three weeks of edit. But then I just saw a video go up and I was like, what

[TJ]

the fuck is going on?

[Stephen Shay]

And whenever we could. So this is the video. Play it.

[Steven Che]

A lot of people

[Greg]

except.

[Stephen Shay]

Except one guy sitting at his desk.

[Big Cat]

That sounded funny. What the fuck?

[Danny]

Why?

[TJ]

I'm not even.

[Steven Che]

Like.

[Stephen Shay]

It's fun and games, but that just like seems intentionally mean.

[Steven Che]

Outright being a dickhead.

[Greg]

It's harder not to come.

[Kyle]

It's harder to. Sick.

[Danny]

Brag.

[Big Cat]

Text. Text box bosco.tj and see if he'll. He'll come on and explain it. That's tough.

[Stephen Shay]

He's gonna be mad.

[Kyle]

Mad.

[Big Cat]

Do you guys know what this is?

[Danny]

No.

[Steven Che]

I have a feeling.

[Kyle]

Wait.

[Steven Che]

They've really packed it tight. Oh, is it.

[Kyle]

I think it is.

[Danny]

Idaho.

[Kyle]

No, Chargers.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

What's Idaho? Idaho.

[Danny]

I. The field doing the blue turf.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that's not coming till July. We'll have to wait to put this up.

[Steven Che]

Can we put the turf that we're taking up in the next batch of yak cards?

[Big Cat]

O. That good?

[Kyle]

Oh, that'd be cool.

[Danny]

I'm surprised it could fit in that box.

[Big Cat]

Oh, wow.

[Steven Che]

Are you just whelmed right now?

[Kyle]

Okay,

[Danny]

how long is it supposed to be?

[Steven Che]

It's like 40ft.

[Danny]

40ft?

[Steven Che]

Okay, 43. Oh, it's big. It's undeniably large. I saw that was just one letter.

[Stephen Shay]

Holy.

[Steven Che]

Oh, yeah, that'll do.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God. Oh, this thing is so big.

[Steven Che]

Let's just keep it in here.

[Big Cat]

Get charged up.

[Steven Che]

Oh, we should all, like, take a nap.

[Big Cat]

This thing is massive.

[Steven Che]

Look at this.

[Big Cat]

I love it.

[Steven Che]

That's a good one.

[Big Cat]

That's really good. We're going to put this up.

[TJ]

Where is this going to go? I don't know.

[Danny]

I feel like we should do the whole rest of the show with this big.

[Eddie]

And this was actually.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, this is a Qualcomm. TJ's got me on one that sick. T's trying to get me to buy some goal posts.

[Steven Che]

I gotta talk to you after the show about that.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no.

[Steven Che]

Did Dom reach out to that number I sent him?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I. And also the ad of Florida State. Text me back I said that.

[TJ]

You guys. You guys on me for that. What goal posts.

[Big Cat]

Did we.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, no, no, you. No, no, yours was at the.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, in the river.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but I'm talking about moving the gold. Actual goal.

[Jake]

Well, you.

[Steven Che]

No, you're right.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Vindication for beers.

[Big Cat]

Well, no, but you do wanted us to go to the river and get them out of which they aren't there anymore.

[TJ]

Well, we don't know that for sure.

[Big Cat]

Well, no, we do because I think they pretty much. I think they. They got it out and Then sold pieces of it for nil. All right.

[TJ]

Point one, big cat.

[Big Cat]

Oh, this thing is sick, though.

[Steven Che]

Uhhuh. That's a nice get.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man. No one has this? No. Nor should they.

[Steven Che]

The Chargers don't even have this.

[Big Cat]

All right, we're gonna put it up when. When surviving's over, we'll do an unveiling.

[Steven Che]

That'll be awesome.

[Big Cat]

Kind of unveil.

[Steven Che]

This is the unveiling.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

It's really big.

[Big Cat]

It's huge.

[Danny]

Certainly is.

[Big Cat]

We fold it back up now. Just leave it out.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Danny]

This morning, there was a Chargers fan account that hates me on the yak that was like, oh, you suck. And I was like, when that banner gets here, I'm gonna scoot my bare ass across it and.

[TJ]

Okay.

[Danny]

Crazy timing.

[Kyle]

Okay. Why does he hate you?

[Danny]

I don't. I don't know. You're talking.

[Big Cat]

There's a group of people online who watch every single yak, and then they hate one of us. I just think it's funny. Whatever we say, they are like they hate us, and it is what it is.

[Danny]

I'm gonna have to scoot like a dog.

[Steven Che]

I remember the name Butthole right across the.

[Big Cat]

Hey, Bosco. What's up? How you doing?

[Stephen Shay]

Good.

[Big Cat]

What's up? Are you. Did you see the clip? Yeah. I talked to Marty.

[Jake]

I should have walked over.

[Big Cat]

I was working, but. Yeah, I could have taken 10 minutes.

[Eddie]

My bad.

[Big Cat]

Okay, so that sounds like it's fine. Yeah. Okay, great.

[Danny]

Have you talked to him since Fart?

[Big Cat]

What was that?

[Steven Che]

Yeah, that's how I had a kazoo for lunch.

[Big Cat]

Oh. We're good then.

[Danny]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Was it intentional? No, I zoned out, and then it was.

[Jake]

There was also, like, I got in

[Big Cat]

the middle of the. Halfway through the writing, and then it was. It looked like there was enough people then. I didn't realize I was the only one over there, so zoned out is what it is.

[Eddie]

I should have walked over.

[Steven Che]

Who filmed the video?

[Big Cat]

I don't know. You gotta worry about yourself. Yeah, well, that's not.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I know, Dan.

[Stephen Shay]

I'm only as good as my sins.

[Big Cat]

All right, well, we just want to check in, see you're okay. Yep. All right, Sounds good. Good luck on Family Feud.

[Jake]

Big one?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, huge.

[Dave]

All right.

[Big Cat]

Okay, sounds good. Yep. Okay, bye. Take it easy. All right, See you. Huh?

[Greg]

He is not okay.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it was. Yeah. Seemed healthy.

[Steven Che]

I don't know what to take take from that.

[Big Cat]

I don't either. He's got to. He's got to move the Scott ago. Feels like there's A. There's a tension in the New York office that is not. Ever since the pig central breakup. Yeah.

[Greg]

I felt like there was momentum with it for a little bit, Rico moving here, but then.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah, there's tension there.

[Steven Che]

He doesn't seem happy.

[Danny]

No.

[Big Cat]

When he hits you with the I'm only as good as my sins instantly. Like, we can't do this. No, that was.

[TJ]

This is.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

His manifesto is going to be so good.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. And we all saw coming, huh? All right, Stephen, you ready to call Steven?

[Stephen Shay]

Yes. I feel like I should put some parts on mute to just not. Not docs where he works, but I will. I will call him right now.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Are you going to get right into him coming on yak or you going to talk to him like a friend first?

[Greg]

I don't know.

[Steven Che]

Do you want to invite him to

[Kyle]

come talk to him like a friend at first?

[Steven Che]

New Chargers banner.

[Stephen Shay]

I don't know. I. I haven't really thought about this. I'd probably just be like, hey, remember me?

[Kyle]

Yeah, that's good. He's falling to catch up.

[Danny]

Are you a little afraid that he'll get weirded out like that you might lose a friend?

[Big Cat]

Oh, no.

[Stephen Shay]

I mean, you can't lose one you don't have. Right.

[Big Cat]

That's true. No, you kind of have them.

[TJ]

It's a win.

[Steven Che]

Win.

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah. I mean, the. It was a very pleasant interaction that was memorable. And you're.

[Big Cat]

You're just. Let's not overthink this. You're calling a dude to say, hey, you had a great time, and would he be interested in a second date?

[Stephen Shay]

I'm not going to use those words,

[Big Cat]

but yes, but I think that's what you should say. You're just like, listen, pretty much, I feel like you had a great time. I had a great time. Would you be open to possibly dating in a heterosexual way?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

I'll see if he can come on and talk ball for a little bit.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I'm a guy. You're a guy. Let's. Let's do it. Yeah, say that. Just say that.

[Stephen Shay]

All right. I'll put the first part on you, and then I'll.

[Big Cat]

I'm hoping. I'm hoping this Steven is like just a carbon copy of our Steve.

[Kyle]

Great.

[Greg]

What's in your phone as Steven. Parentheses, not me,

[Kyle]

but me,

[Big Cat]

not me.

[Steven Che]

Just to prevent confusion.

[Eddie]

Oh, no.

[Big Cat]

Oh.

[TJ]

Whoa.

[Big Cat]

Had to have denied what could possibly going on.

[Steven Che]

There is nothing that warrants that reaction. It's an office.

[Stephen Shay]

I got a call back. I think it was like to Leave a message. So maybe something. I got a call back. I didn't really hear.

[Big Cat]

He definitely. He definitely wants to go on a second date because he gave you his office number. This is also going to end up. We know how this is going to end up. We're going to. We're going to joke about Stephen doing this, that he's going to. This guy's great, boys.

[Kyle]

Going to be cool.

[Steven Che]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Going to love Chad.

[Big Cat]

He's going to be at the Yug. He's not going to get an hour.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I think our humor is whack.

[Big Cat]

He's going to be on after. He's going to be an After Dark hero by. By midday.

[Greg]

May.

[Eddie]

I don't think anyone doubts that he's not the man.

[Danny]

What if he's used to getting calls like this? What if he's like, it's another one.

[Steven Che]

This is my life.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no.

[TJ]

You think he's a pathetic titan?

[Big Cat]

I don't know. Oh, my God.

[Stephen Shay]

Voice. Voicemail ran a couple times and then did voice. So I'll try back.

[Steven Che]

You leave a message.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I'm gonna call you back.

[Dave]

I'll call.

[Stephen Shay]

I'll call him at like 30. It's. This is prime.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but leave a message.

[Kyle]

Big message.

[Stephen Shay]

I don't want him to call. I, I wouldn't. It be a lot easier if I. I will call him back.

[Big Cat]

Right, but he could call you back. Do you know how a voicemail works?

[Stephen Shay]

Nobody uses voicemails anymore.

[Big Cat]

It's his office number.

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah, I guess that's true.

[Greg]

Does he know that's your number? Is it going to show up as you? Right.

[Steven Che]

So, yeah, he's not gonna know it's called.

[Stephen Shay]

But then I feel like there's a much greater chance of him just not calling back and avoiding whetheras if I call back, then very good chance of getting them.

[Big Cat]

No, call him right now and say, hey, it's. It's Stephen the Buck, the Asian Bucks fan. Please call me back. Urgent.

[Steven Che]

Asian Bucks.

[Stephen Shay]

I will, I will, I will, I will. Leave that message verbatim in like 20 minutes.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's Yen. It's me, Steven. Yeah, do it in code. I need to talk to Steven.

[Stephen Shay]

I am confident we will get him. I mean, this 12 to 1, I feel like is prime. Regular people, lunch hours.

[Big Cat]

What do we do now?

[Eddie]

Can't argue with that.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, did you guys see. You see? Mikey Betts is mad that his new show is not following him even though he controls it.

[Greg]

I didn't.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God. Just perfect. Mikey, he's like this is bullshit. Shrinkage, right?

[Steven Che]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

Shrinkage doesn't follow me on Twitter. Yes, I controlled. I have access to the account. Last night I went on pod and he pointed out to me that Shrinkage isn't even following me back on Twitter. The Mikey Betts squeeze out continues. Yes, I have access to the account. So he could just.

[Greg]

It's mostly him. I'll tweet off there sometimes, but he's waiting on you.

[Big Cat]

Did you follow yourself?

[Greg]

Oh, he followed me.

[Big Cat]

So he followed everyone else but he didn't follow himself. Correct. And he's mad about.

[Kyle]

Did you follow search history?

[Steven Che]

Wait, who's this?

[Kyle]

I ran war update Green top down, funniest.

[Big Cat]

Oh my God. Wait a minute.

[Kyle]

They typed that into Twitter.

[Big Cat]

Yes, that's his most recent searches.

[Steven Che]

It's Craig.

[Kyle]

I read top 10 funniest.

[Eddie]

I told. I've been gas. I've been gaslighting him hard about Green Greg.

[Big Cat]

What have you been saying?

[Eddie]

Just like, dude, he said he could out chug you. I was like, how would you react if Green Greg head on your wife? And just like a bunch of. He's like, I'd kill him.

[Big Cat]

Now he's looking for his highlights.

[Steven Che]

The 10 funniest.

[Kyle]

Does that exist?

[Stephen Shay]

I have, I have a Green Greg highlight that just came. I don't know if Iran, war and

[Big Cat]

top 10 funniest Greg Greg moments. What a brain.

[Steven Che]

There was multiple Greg's here.

[Big Cat]

Steven, do the who's the bad guy read real quick.

[Stephen Shay]

Sure. From the minds of Nick Torrania and myself, Stephen Shay comes the latest social deduction game. Designed for four to 10 people. It's perfect for a night in with friends or family or a full out game night. Try to see if those closest to you are lying directly to your face while you try to figure out who's the bad guy. Pick up who's the bad guy for just under $15 [e-mail] so Mikey Betts filled in for Elio the other day on the dozen.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Stephen Shay]

And he was going to use a phone a friend or sorry, Green Greg. Green Greg filled in for Elio. He is trying to use a phone a friend. And I'll just queue it up there.

[Jake]

College football friend.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but he's at work and he,

[Big Cat]

he's literally a K State fan. Let's call him. Call him.

[Stephen Shay]

Let's call him.

[Big Cat]

But he's on the line so I don't know if he has his phone on him. I can.

[Stephen Shay]

All right, they're going to call him. They're called Greg's friend Greg's friend at work.

[Steven Che]

Baby, let's go.

[Stephen Shay]

Greg's friend who is at work right now.

[Big Cat]

Don't answer.

[Dave]

Greg's friend.

[Stephen Shay]

Is he a line cook? Cuz it's rush hour for lunch.

[Jake]

No, no.

[Big Cat]

Like at an engineering plant.

[Steven Che]

That seems even less likely of an answer.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Steven Che]

It's rush hour for lunch. Shay, you're funny as fuck.

[Stephen Shay]

What is that?

[Big Cat]

Snapchat.

[Dave]

He's gonna think this is the most.

[Stephen Shay]

Ain't no way this guy's picking up.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, this is the first. I looked in his number.

[Eddie]

How long is this ring?

[Big Cat]

Still ringing.

[Eddie]

Still ringing.

[TJ]

What a hack.

[Stephen Shay]

There's no voicemails on Snapchat.

[Eddie]

This is a first.

[Stephen Shay]

I mean, come on.

[Big Cat]

What are we doing? Hey, it's still ringing. Show in 10 minutes. We're still going.

[Jake]

Declined it.

[Big Cat]

He hasn't declined it yet.

[Stephen Shay]

I'm gonna.

[Jake]

It's gonna.

[Stephen Shay]

You got about four seconds. Three, two, one.

[Jake]

You gotta.

[TJ]

You have to.

[Steven Che]

That's the first. We've never had a Snapchat.

[Stephen Shay]

That's the first.

[Steven Che]

Why didn't he call you?

[TJ]

I think that's what the kids do.

[Big Cat]

They do.

[Kyle]

They use that to text.

[TJ]

Like college kids and.

[Kyle]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[TJ]

I have a cousin, he's always on Snapchat. Like texting.

[Eddie]

Huh.

[Danny]

Do the texts also disappear after?

[TJ]

I don't know. I just know that, that like college kids and probably Greg's age just use Snapchat for everything, like communication.

[Eddie]

But he did that because it doesn't hang up. Like, it doesn't.

[Big Cat]

Oh. How old is Greg?

[TJ]

Just out of college, probably.

[Eddie]

He's 22. 23.

[Jake]

Really?

[Steven Che]

23.

[Big Cat]

Born in like 2004.

[Eddie]

You know what up I had. I was talking to Burns the other day. He was like, I. Yeah, I started doing content. It was Covid. I was a junior in high school.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man.

[Eddie]

Working at Mariano's is like, dude.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that. That.

[Steven Che]

Don't like that.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[TJ]

I wouldn't hate a top 10 Greg

[Steven Che]

moments that would have to be in it, right?

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

How many moments has he had?

[Big Cat]

It's only funny or not.

[Steven Che]

And that's no diss at Greg. He just has.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's new.

[Steven Che]

He's new.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[TJ]

I'm sure we could scrap one together.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Greg]

We can maybe throw him winning Barcelonol in there.

[Steven Che]

That would have to be one of them.

[Big Cat]

Him. The first time he's green. Second time, eating a wing.

[Steven Che]

Eating a wing and checking. This conversation, this conversation about phone calls.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Us finding out that Mikey Betts was Searching for him.

[Steven Che]

That's funny.

[Big Cat]

Yep.

[Steven Che]

That in the top 10.

[TJ]

That would blow Reed's mind.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Danny]

Managing to post from big events with no other people in the background. There's like four different videos with no other people at major sporting events.

[Steven Che]

There's never been somebody in the background of a Greg video.

[Big Cat]

Maybe he doesn't exist.

[Steven Che]

Greg's been dead for 10 years.

[Big Cat]

This is like the Six. What's that movie?

[Greg]

Success.

[Big Cat]

What's the movie? The.

[Steven Che]

With Haley Joel Osment and Bruce Willis. He was dead the whole time.

[TJ]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

You know that movie? The.

[Steven Che]

I see dead people.

[Big Cat]

I see dead people. What was that movie?

[TJ]

I don't know. Why are you asking me?

[Kyle]

It was a massive movie. I forget the name.

[Eddie]

Hold on.

[TJ]

Sixth cents. Oh, you guys. Dude, come on. I'm so dumb. Why did I do this right before? I've been talking so much.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Greg]

How long do you have to keep it in?

[TJ]

It's like 22 hours a day.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. It's like a year, right?

[Steven Che]

A lot.

[TJ]

15 weeks.

[Big Cat]

They give you new ones. The new ones hurt.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I'm hurting right now.

[Big Cat]

Feel weird. Really weird. I feel really weird.

[Greg]

So our kids not doing braces anymore?

[Big Cat]

I don't think so.

[Kyle]

Don't seem to be nice.

[Eddie]

That's a shame.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, I know.

[Kyle]

Not that I look at kid teeth a lot, but I don't. Can't remember the last time I've seen braces.

[Steven Che]

It was awesome to get out of school to get them tightened.

[Big Cat]

Well, when was the last time you looked at kid teeth?

[Steven Che]

Oh, my God.

[Greg]

Be honest.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

It's been probably since I was a kid. A while.

[TJ]

Kid teeth are pretty gross.

[Steven Che]

Little.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Right.

[Big Cat]

You know, my son's lost. Like, he looks like a hockey player. Yeah. He's got nothing on the upper deck.

[Steven Che]

How much is the ferry bringing them?

[Big Cat]

It varies, depending on what's in my wallet.

[Steven Che]

Okay. $8,000.

[Big Cat]

Oh, he's gotten. Yeah, it's. It's usually like five bucks.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But he did get 101 time because I had nothing else.

[Eddie]

First tooth. I think it was first, maybe second.

[Big Cat]

Tooth fairy sucks, though, because, like, then they get. They get. They're like, oh. They get scared and they're like, oh, tooth fairy's coming in. It's like, man, I just want to just be like, it's me, dude.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

For those that had braces, is getting. The day you get your braces off, is that like a top five day?

[Kyle]

As a teen, it was a big cultural moment. It was the next Chapter.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, it was the end.

[Kyle]

It looked better.

[Steven Che]

It was more of an ending than a beginning.

[Eddie]

But the first glide of your tongue across was.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's special.

[Steven Che]

Gnarly special.

[Danny]

I remember being in the communion line, and I had. Also, I had on a brand new. I was never. We didn't go shopping for fancy clothes, but my mom let me get a Hollister Polo, and I was fresh braces off Hollister Polo. And I was smiling at everybody in church going down the line. I thought I was so hot. And I look at pictures now, and I was not sure. But I did feel like a model when you first got him off. I do feel like you. You felt you were feeling yourself.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You hooked up with a porn freak.

[Danny]

Yeah, that's true.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Danny]

You see, Jason Biggs got divorced yesterday.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Steven Che]

But also, two days ago was his birthday or something.

[Danny]

It's this wife of 18 years, Jenny

[Eddie]

Mullen, I think her name is.

[Danny]

And I said, that's who I thought. I don't know.

[Steven Che]

I know Biggs's wife.

[Eddie]

She's. She's an actress.

[Big Cat]

Do you have any of her cards?

[Eddie]

No, no, no.

[Steven Che]

It's her best pose.

[Eddie]

No, not like that. I met her when I was an intern at Stern. Yeah.

[TJ]

What's. What? I missed the episode. The Milk episode. Why, There's. Why are you a pervert?

[Big Cat]

Well, how much time you got?

[Eddie]

I'll send you the clip later.

[Big Cat]

He's collecting Livy Dunn cards, but only I have zero. The only. Only the ones where she's popping her ass.

[Steven Che]

He made her up. Yeah, he made the memorabilia guy pop her out of the case.

[Eddie]

And I should know. I was also looking at an expensive Travis Kelsey card with the logic that that's Taylor Swift's husband. It's value. It's. It's increasing demand and popularity. Yes.

[Big Cat]

You're a perv. You're looking for the perv cards.

[Eddie]

I'm a genius investor. Look at Jimmy Goldstein. Worth 200 million. He's gonna buy that card.

[Greg]

Do they know you have a signed Adriana Chechuk?

[Eddie]

Yeah, probably not.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no, we didn't. Now we do.

[Eddie]

That doesn't help my case.

[Stephen Shay]

Whoops.

[Steven Che]

What?

[Big Cat]

She's got a piece of her panties in there, too.

[Eddie]

This is not my fault.

[Jake]

Game warden.

[Steven Che]

How is it not your fault?

[Eddie]

It's not my fault.

[Steven Che]

How'd you get the. Is a porn actress?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

You don't know.

[Big Cat]

Chet Chick.

[Danny]

Ready? I didn't know. I didn't know.

[Kyle]

You really, like, listen to Nick and. I don't know.

[Big Cat]

No, I never heard of her.

[Danny]

What was she known for? Like, anal.

[Eddie]

I'm getting smoked.

[Steven Che]

Hey, daddy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, so, anal queen.

[Eddie]

At my. At my old job, there was this guy who worked at the porn conventions, and he took a lot of pride in it. Like, he let everyone know, and he was very, very into it. And, like, once we found out, like, the boys were just in the bullpen and we're chopping up. Chopping it up about porn, and we were tossing, you know, favorites around and whatnot.

[Steven Che]

Like, what were you saying?

[Eddie]

I said, her. I said, she's good. She does great, great work. I don't think that's. She's one of the most popular ones.

[Big Cat]

I don't think.

[Eddie]

It's, like, a crazy take. And he comes up to me after. He's like, hey, would you like me to get a signed photo of her? And I was like, no, no, that's probably too much, man, but thank you very much. It's very nice. He's like, no, honestly, I'll ask. I don't mind. I was like, seriously, I don't. I. I sincerely told him I don't want it. And then, like, the weekend after the convention, he comes up to me. He's like, hey, what time are you leaving today? I was like, I don't know. Like, 5? Whenever we usually leave. He's like, okay. He's like, let me know when you leave. I want to meet you in the parking lot. I was like, okay. So I meet him in the parking lot, and he gives me this signed 8 by 10 of Adriana Chachik.

[Steven Che]

What's her pose?

[Eddie]

Everywhere.

[Steven Che]

Everywhere.

[Big Cat]

Everywhere. Everywhere you look.

[Eddie]

And it's a sign. Whatever. And we're in the parking lot. I'm like, I don't know what to do with this. My boss is walking to the parking lot too. I, like, shove it in my visor really quick. I still live with my parents. At the time, I was like, how do I bring this in my house? I was like, I should just throw this out. But that felt rude because it was a gift. But, yeah, that's how I haven't signed 8 by 10.

[Steven Che]

So where is it now?

[Eddie]

I don't know. Somewhere in a frame, in a. Yeah.

[Greg]

Room.

[Eddie]

Somewhere in a box somewhere.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

But. Yeah, that's how.

[Kyle]

I wouldn't need you to find that in the visor.

[Danny]

Some grandkids, like, find their grandpa's war medals, they're gonna find.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah, that'll. That'll definitely happen for sure.

[Steven Che]

Grandpa Eddie's stuff. Let's look through.

[Big Cat]

That'll definitely so how much. How much perv memorabilia do you have to have before you're a perv? I don't, but there's a lot of points.

[Eddie]

One was a gift, the other was. It's still a not purchase right now.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Steven Che]

But you could have thrown that away.

[Eddie]

I could have, but then I told the story on our old podcast, and it become. It became like a relic. It was something that.

[TJ]

That's a tough throwaway.

[Big Cat]

And that's it. That's.

[Steven Che]

Why is that a tough throwaway?

[Eddie]

What do you think I was jacking up?

[Big Cat]

No, I'm saying.

[Steven Che]

What were you doing?

[Big Cat]

I guess nothing. No, I'm saying, like, trying to rub

[Steven Che]

off her autograph onto your penis.

[Eddie]

It made it through a flood.

[Big Cat]

I'm asking, is that it? In terms of the memorabilia?

[Eddie]

Yeah, it's gotta be.

[Steven Che]

You're withholding smut.

[Big Cat]

I'm gotta be.

[Eddie]

There's nothing. I'm. I'm. I'm trying to think.

[Steven Che]

Wait, don't you. What's the DVD you have.

[Eddie]

I said that too. I got that from 19 Paris. What's that?

[Big Cat]

Of the 19 Paris.

[Danny]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

That's weird.

[Steven Che]

You're a perv. That's fine.

[Eddie]

You didn't see. See a porno in grade school?

[Steven Che]

Sure did, but I didn't have one.

[Big Cat]

Well, that's because you still have it.

[Eddie]

Yeah,

[Big Cat]

I keep everything.

[Kyle]

I survived a flood.

[Eddie]

Did survive a flood.

[Greg]

The reason he was gunning so hard for the Howard Stern internship was because of the Civian.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he wanted to ride.

[Steven Che]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg]

Favorite part.

[Eddie]

I did see it one day. No, it's stuck in a back closet. Stuck, collecting dust.

[Big Cat]

How'd you see it? Did you go looking for it? You don't really get, like, a blood.

[Kyle]

We need you to go look at the sibian.

[Steven Che]

All right, Ed, good point. Go get it.

[Eddie]

No, you don't. Like, you don't. It's not really a roam around place. Like, you're at your desk if you're, you know, if you're there.

[Greg]

Yeah, you roam.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's.

[Eddie]

One day, I was, like, moving chairs in the studio. I was like, I'll never get to be in here again. So I roam, and I saw the city. I was like, that's pretty sick.

[Big Cat]

Was it, like.

[Eddie]

You don't say you would.

[Steven Che]

Did you touch the Sibian?

[Big Cat]

No, you lick it.

[Greg]

What it tastes like.

[Eddie]

Give it a sniff.

[Steven Che]

You snap. You smell the city.

[Eddie]

No, I.

[Greg]

No, it's not that.

[Steven Che]

Not big cash that ever went up for sale.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah, we'd have to buy that's a. We'd have to buy it. Oh, dude.

[Eddie]

I wonder if we.

[Big Cat]

It's like. It's like Indiana Jones. He has, like, a big bag of sand.

[Steven Che]

Get chased by a boulder, carrying.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man.

[Steven Che]

That belongs in a museum.

[Eddie]

My God. Forgot about porn.

[Kyle]

Well, you were Rob.

[Big Cat]

Oh, Mikey.

[Steven Che]

Bets.

[Big Cat]

Hey.

[Steven Che]

Hey, what's up?

[Mikey Betts]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[Big Cat]

Let's see the hair.

[Mikey Betts]

It's bad.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man.

[Mikey Betts]

There's a lot of bad spots. I didn't cut it.

[Big Cat]

Well, yeah. What's. First of all, you know that you control the account to shrinkage so you could follow yourself. So why are you mad that it doesn't follow you?

[Mikey Betts]

I'm just waiting for Danny or Deutsch to follow me back.

[Steven Che]

I saw it follow Jackie. Did you do that or it had a.

[Mikey Betts]

Didn't do that.

[Greg]

I didn't follow anyone off that Twitter. Plus, he just went on there on shrinkage account to retweet himself, complaining about not being followed by shrinkage account.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, that's true.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mikey Betts]

I'm just waiting for somebody to follow me back.

[Big Cat]

I might.

[Mikey Betts]

I'll just do it myself.

[Big Cat]

But that's not why we have you on. What were you. Why were you searching for Iran war and top 10 green Greg moments?

[Mikey Betts]

I like Green Greg. Green Greg's cool, but. And then I just want to know what's going on with Iran. I haven't checked in in, like, a couple weeks, so I just want to make sure, like, we're still at war or something.

[Big Cat]

Did you find the green Greg Top 10 Funniest Moments?

[Mikey Betts]

There's zero, but there's him winning the gauntlet. He. He didn't win, but he. He had a pretty good pace. And then if you type in Green Greg, you could find a bunch of Green Greg content.

[Greg]

Who would have thought?

[Steven Che]

Yeah. What did you. What were your findings? What did you. Like,

[Mikey Betts]

there was, like, the throwbacks to, like, the yog off.

[Greg]

It's a month ago.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

[Jake]

That's it.

[Mikey Betts]

That's all there was.

[Greg]

Were you maybe trying to find dirt on Greg after Eddie was with you about him?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

I was also trying to do that after Eddie. Well, it's because Eddie keeps texting me, and it's like, yo, what if. What if Green Greg hits on your wife? What if. What if Green Greg, like, shows up to your house? I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, so that's it? Nothing crazy.

[TJ]

Don't worry about it. He's just a perv.

[Eddie]

That's a good Rival.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. No, it's not. I. I like. I like green gray.

[Kyle]

Oh, you guys are both porn convention guys.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Mikey Betts]

I'm not a porn convent. I've been to one, but I'm not one.

[Danny]

Did you know that Eddie was.

[Eddie]

I've never been. I've never even been to the porn convention.

[Kyle]

You said you were at the house.

[Danny]

Tell them whose butthole you have.

[Eddie]

Signed Adriana Chec.

[Mikey Betts]

I think that's weird.

[Steven Che]

That's. Damn it.

[Mikey Betts]

That's a weird move coming from a

[Greg]

guy in red glasses with a middle part buzz cut.

[Eddie]

It was a gift.

[Steven Che]

Charlie Brown haircut.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah. I'm gonna get this fixed. I'll get this fixed soon, I think. I don't know what's going on with this thing. I. I don't know if it took in Turkey.

[Steven Che]

That looks. I think it's just a process. It looks.

[Greg]

You're destined. You're just destined to become a toupee guy.

[Big Cat]

What does your hot Latina wife think of it?

[Mikey Betts]

My hair?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

She wants me to put a hat on at all times. Like, it's just bad.

[Greg]

Yeah, at all times.

[Mikey Betts]

She doesn't care. No, not at all times. But yeah, she doesn't. She's not a fan of, like, my haircut. She doesn't think it's that bad.

[Big Cat]

Because you know who has good hair? Green. Greg.

[Greg]

I know it's tough.

[Mikey Betts]

That's why I gotta get a toupee. Worst case scenario.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mikey Betts]

All right, guys.

[Big Cat]

Have. Have fun babysitting.

[Mikey Betts]

Thanks. Appreciate it. And I have to get my hood fixed. It's just a show.

[Big Cat]

What happened to your hood?

[Steven Che]

Enjoy it.

[Mikey Betts]

The people at Valvoline, they. They broke my hood while I was getting oil change. Made me late to my tea time.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah, it sucks.

[Big Cat]

Are you at your te time right now?

[Mikey Betts]

No, that was two days ago. I didn't have any time to get my hood fixed, so I'm going to get it fixed now.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Stephen Shay]

Where's the rest of your glasses? You're missing, like,

[Steven Che]

You're a mess. Whatever.

[Kyle]

You gotta keep those on.

[Mikey Betts]

They still work like it's. They're just driving glasses for now.

[Big Cat]

They're driving glasses?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

They're stopping at every light. This man just isn't going.

[Mikey Betts]

I'll say.

[Big Cat]

It's impossible.

[Steven Che]

It's very hard to see you.

[Danny]

Right.

[Mikey Betts]

Sometimes you don't see the. The red go from red to green. You can see more red, but sometimes

[Steven Che]

I can't see the green light.

[Big Cat]

Put them up to the camera. Put them up to the Camera dude.

[Steven Che]

You're the exact opposite of Greg.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Oh my God.

[Steven Che]

Oh, there's Greg's rival. Red bets.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah, he is. He's wearing the Greg stopper.

[TJ]

Yep.

[Steven Che]

He anti Greg shades.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Mikey Betts]

I don't want that rivalry.

[Steven Che]

He's a good guy.

[Big Cat]

You don't want that smoke. All right. See you, Mikey.

[Mikey Betts]

See you guys.

[Big Cat]

Bye.

[Eddie]

He doesn't want that smoke. He wouldn't face him in a chug off.

[Steven Che]

Whoa, whoa.

[TJ]

Bets.

[Steven Che]

I mean Beers. Congrats on Boston ripping off Pittsburgh. You fleeced us. What happened with what Pittsburgh traded their seven year old gorilla for your 33 year old gorilla.

[Big Cat]

There was a gorilla trade.

[Steven Che]

A gorilla trade? Yeah, Frankie for Little Joe. The zoo swapped.

[Danny]

Why'd they do that?

[Steven Che]

I didn't know that. We got ripped off. Dude.

[Danny]

We're.

[Steven Che]

I guess Pittsburgh's in win now mode.

[Big Cat]

What the. That's kind of trade gorillas with Boston's friend.

[Steven Che]

Seven for 33.

[Big Cat]

Well no. That's a good gorilla though.

[Steven Che]

We would have had years of that gorilla.

[Danny]

Why they get rid of them.

[Greg]

That's pretty sick. They could just trade animals.

[Steven Che]

I want to be the GM of a zoo.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Makes sense. 33. That's incredible.

[TJ]

Well you. You have it on your resume, right? To get. To help get job as a zoo guy?

[Steven Che]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

Welcome. Frank has been described as having good vibes, playful and chill. And the zoo said he's been a favorite among zookeepers. Boston Frankie will join two other male gorillas his size and age to form a bachelor group which will mimic gorilla social groups. So he's going on a bachelor party?

[Steven Che]

Yeah, in Boston.

[Eddie]

Form bachelor.

[Big Cat]

Wait. This is awesome. I didn't know about this gorillas about gorillas. They just hang out with dudes all day. They are too old to be juvenile, yet too young to be a silverback.

[Steven Che]

So we got your silver back.

[TJ]

Okay. He's seven. No, he's 33.

[Steven Che]

We got a 33 year old.

[TJ]

How old are monkeys living these days?

[Steven Che]

I don't know

[Big Cat]

Little Joe. Okay. Oh, they needed a. Oh. So he's just.

[Steven Che]

They're sending him to Pittsburgh to him to.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

That's good for you haven't been.

[Big Cat]

That's a good train.

[Steven Che]

You haven't seen the Pittsburgh gorillas?

[Big Cat]

No. But you're making new gorillas.

[Steven Che]

Yeah. That's good.

[Big Cat]

You just made new gorillas. They're getting a bachelor party. You're gonna make new. I guess that's actually a great trade.

[Kyle]

Could be.

[Steven Che]

Okay. Yeah, I guess so.

[Big Cat]

There's a new baby rhino at the Lincoln Park Zoo. No shit as fuck yet. Like 2 months old.

[Steven Che]

Is he out?

[Big Cat]

Are they showing on Sunday? Yeah.

[Eddie]

Haram is 10 years coming up, right?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Our sweet prince. Yeah. Look at that guy. He's so cute.

[Steven Che]

Things huge. The one on the left.

[TJ]

Oh,

[Steven Che]

Which one's the baby?

[TJ]

Oh, yeah, there we go.

[Danny]

Oh.

[Big Cat]

Oh, this is such a cute sound.

[Steven Che]

That's what a baby rhino sounds like.

[TJ]

Things cute as.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

So I'm going after work.

[Big Cat]

I saw him romping around on Sunday.

[Danny]

Oh, I love the tail.

[Stephen Shay]

Oh, it's going backwards.

[Danny]

Looks like, like a. I need Pittsburgh

[Steven Che]

to put in an offer for him

[Eddie]

two weeks from today. Big Cat.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Eddie]

Haram 10 here?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Dude, Link park zoo's been popping recently. There's been a lot of, like, I, I, I don't know what it's been, but the last two times we've gone, every animal's been out.

[Steven Che]

I'll go there just for slush puppies and leave.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Look at a single animal.

[Big Cat]

Animals are just ready to go.

[TJ]

I was looking at an apartment right over there recently.

[Big Cat]

It's a free zoo.

[Steven Che]

It's awesome, Dan.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It's a sick zoo.

[Kyle]

It's great.

[TJ]

It's tough to find a place, though.

[Big Cat]

Polar bears are sick.

[TJ]

I think it's very expensive these days, the giraffes.

[Steven Che]

And it's competitive. There are people, like, bidding on rent.

[Kyle]

It's a new thing.

[Steven Che]

There's anyone out there when somebody offered to pay a thousand dollars more for rent.

[Big Cat]

Damn.

[Steven Che]

Got the spot.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You trying to find a new place?

[TJ]

Yeah, like a park.

[Eddie]

You don't like where you're at?

[TJ]

I'm okay with it.

[Eddie]

It's just the place is great.

[TJ]

There's a guy. There's a guy that just doesn't leave below our apartment.

[Steven Che]

I think I got a citizen notification.

[TJ]

He's a guy that was a yelling guy.

[Steven Che]

He was the guy that was yelling for three days.

[Eddie]

Yelling guy.

[TJ]

He doesn't leave.

[Danny]

That's your guy.

[Big Cat]

He just yells.

[TJ]

He just. He's always panhandling and just like, screaming.

[Big Cat]

Mincy will fix this when he becomes mayor.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He doesn't leave that actually, like, you should vote. Like, Minsk could just go up and just start talking to him. The guy would be out of there. I got a tip, he's like, I'm out.

[Steven Che]

I got a tip that in Powhatan Point, Kyle.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Steven Che]

They do forced mayor ships because nobody wants it. So they just pull from a hat and you're mayor.

[Big Cat]

Oh, so we have gotta get mincing that hat.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Or just A volunteer to do it. How big is Powhatan?

[Kyle]

Probably about 2,000 people.

[Steven Che]

Little village. He could. He could damage it pretty severely.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

As a dm, Something saying.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Getting else other ones of those or not.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, I did. Why did Danny tell you to say that?

[Eddie]

I was just curious.

[Steven Che]

What? I don't want to do this because. Danny, has this been brought up? Object.

[Greg]

This has been brought up, right?

[Eddie]

I think it has, yeah.

[Big Cat]

What's going on?

[Eddie]

I mean, it's nothing crazy. No, I was. I enjoyed how much it amused Danny at one point.

[Greg]

It's so amusing. Just.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Steven Che]

I got a DM from a guy that says, bring a White Sox. Dave once rented me his car.

[Big Cat]

No, no.

[Steven Che]

But that's all I got. And I asked Danny about it. He's like, that's a very sensitive subject. But you forced my hand.

[Danny]

Rented someone his car.

[Steven Che]

Boys, I don't know.

[Greg]

Dave just used to rent his car out to people for. For a few extra bucks. Nothing against it, but once he was like. Once he started being like, what's the big deal? That's when it's like, all right, now it's kind of like friends, random people.

[Eddie]

It was on like an app.

[Kyle]

Oh, this is a service now. But he was doing it under the table.

[Greg]

Maybe it was on the service. This is probably like what, 2022? 2021.

[TJ]

Oh, this was recently.

[Eddie]

2019. Yeah, this was like.

[TJ]

Thought this was 15 years.

[Eddie]

Oh, this was recently.

[Greg]

And I don't really know doing it.

[Steven Che]

We should just rent it under an alias.

[Danny]

Just whip it around like.

[Greg]

Just the fact that he gives it to them with like baseball mitts in the back.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, it was just funny.

[Steven Che]

Doesn't he travel with a lot of mitts? Yeah, and his car is always a wreck.

[Greg]

I'm one to be talking, but. But no, that's. That's kind of all the guys experience. Kind of the only information I know because I've always been too afraid to pry.

[Danny]

Did he tell you himself, like, I can't come over this week. Someone's renting my car right now?

[Greg]

No, we. We found out in a weird way similar to this, right.

[Eddie]

He was honest about it. Be like, hey, guys, someone's got to drive to this video. Like, up my car. Someone's rented on my car.

[Jake]

You're like, wa.

[Greg]

Back up there for a second.

[Big Cat]

Do it on a real app or.

[TJ]

Can't even say it without laughing.

[Stephen Shay]

It was a real pretty.

[Steven Che]

Yeah. Eddie, you're tickled by this.

[Eddie]

I. I loose to love how much Danny would love it.

[Steven Che]

Danny we just got into a huge

[Greg]

debate, like, off camera, like, Dave, there's, like, so many other more normal ways to make money.

[Eddie]

It's our time's that bad, dude.

[Steven Che]

And I was like, this wasn't that long ago.

[Greg]

Oh, and like, your. Your car is kind of, like, intimate. Like, I would be giving my car to stranger and then just him having

[Steven Che]

to ask for rides because his car is gone.

[Greg]

Like, he needed his car, but he's still just giving it to a random.

[TJ]

I wonder what the rate that this was brought up.

[Eddie]

No, I don't think.

[Greg]

No, he's gonna be mad that we think it's weird.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Is it Turo? Does he rent it on Turbo?

[Eddie]

That sounds right. Tj, I've used.

[Steven Che]

I've used that app as a customer before. It's just like. It's like renting a car, except instead of going to a car rental counter, you just, like, go to a neighborhood and there's just, like, a lock box attached to a car.

[Big Cat]

But that's kind of, like, inconvenience you. So, like, I'd understand if DAV was, like, going out of town or.

[Steven Che]

It was his second car.

[Kyle]

He needed it.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It's like, oh, I can't drive today. I rented my car.

[TJ]

Is he here?

[Big Cat]

What a.

[Eddie]

No, he's. He's driving down to Atlanta right now. Oh, yeah, For.

[Big Cat]

Are you guys going to Sydney Wells?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Wedding.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Good for her. I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Why is he driving?

[Eddie]

I think he's like. He's like. He's, like, bringing the dogs and he's, like, doing a thing to the wedding.

[Danny]

Hope you don't mind.

[Steven Che]

Oh, yeah, I brought my dogs.

[Eddie]

What you mean?

[Big Cat]

Well, now we got to zoom in.

[Eddie]

I want to see.

[Big Cat]

I want to see a car full of dogs go to Atlanta.

[Kyle]

He's doing the whole thing.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

He's got two dogs, and he's going

[Big Cat]

down like, hey, Sydney, is it cool if I bring my dogs to this wedding?

[Greg]

Nah, she won't care.

[Eddie]

I haven't thought about that.

[Big Cat]

All right, text White Sox stage. You got to get them on.

[Eddie]

This is.

[Big Cat]

This is the zoom show.

[Eddie]

You got it?

[Steven Che]

Yep.

[Eddie]

All right.

[Greg]

He's not gonna answer.

[Stephen Shay]

You don't think?

[Greg]

Well, he's probably with his girlfriend, right?

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I wanted the dogs is hers.

[Danny]

We normally rent the dogs out before.

[Greg]

Knowing him, it's like, obviously the hotel he's going to does not allow dogs, but since when?

[Eddie]

Oh, I think he's doing an Airbnb. I think he did mention that, but, yeah, he's He's. He's taking the dogs. Making a trip out of it. Good for Dave.

[Big Cat]

Good for Dave. Yeah.

[TJ]

Who else is going to the wedding?

[Eddie]

I think just me. Him in chief.

[TJ]

Really?

[Eddie]

I think. Yeah.

[Danny]

Is this wedding. I feel like it's going to be a banger.

[Steven Che]

Got it.

[Eddie]

I told you. I. I saw her at soccer, and she said that her Future husband is 18. Groomsmen.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Whoa.

[Big Cat]

Oh, God.

[Eddie]

So I just, like, I need to brush up on my bulldog football.

[Danny]

Do you know how many people are invited?

[Eddie]

I think a lot. Yeah, it's. It's at his, like, like, place or whatever. I think.

[Steven Che]

I think it's like 500 people and two dogs.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Oh, I can't wait to see when are you.

[Steven Che]

And Dave's in his girlfriend's car because his island turo.

[Dave]

All right.

[Steven Che]

Just don't touch the bag of mitts, dude.

[Greg]

People were taking that thing on road trips. Just handing it back to.

[Steven Che]

But he needed it.

[Eddie]

Smoking Huff ass weed.

[Kyle]

Yeah, Smoking Huff ass weed.

[Eddie]

You know what I mean?

[Kyle]

I don't. I actually want to use this now. I think that's.

[Steven Che]

It's a good service, but I don't want Dave.

[Kyle]

I would rent somebody's car.

[TJ]

Probably a lot cheaper, Right?

[Steven Che]

But I think almost it's probably people that, like, have a car just for this.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

A second car cleaned.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Like, I think it makes sense if you have, like. Like, obviously it depends what. How expensive your car is. Like, there's a premium. So I think people do buy cars just to use it on there.

[TJ]

I don't. I mean, I don't.

[Steven Che]

I'm not gonna knock it yet.

[Kyle]

I'm not knocking.

[Steven Che]

I liked it also because you could pick the exact car. Like, sometimes when you rent through, like, a rental service, it'll be like general SUV or whatever. This is like your. You know exactly what car.

[Stephen Shay]

That's cool.

[Steven Che]

Photos of it before you get into it. You know exactly what you're getting, but you don't get to, like, deal with a, you know, customer support person if there's an issue. I guess I thought it would be funny if he's doing it under the table.

[Big Cat]

Just an ad.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Greg]

That's what I. Oh, you know what it was? I think we were in the back of the old office, and I saw he, like, gave a random person his keys and they got in his car because we only had those certain amount of parking spots back there.

[Kyle]

You saw the hit.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Greg]

And I was like, what was that? He's, like, renting my car. Okay. I Have a couple follow ups. Like, don't make this a thing.

[Steven Che]

I. I'm laughing how much you two love.

[Big Cat]

I do.

[Mikey Betts]

I love it.

[Greg]

And a lot of it was just like his. His side mirror was dangling at one point. Like, you're just handing it to them, like, Right? But yeah.

[Steven Che]

Didn't you drive in and have to hold the mirror up?

[Eddie]

Yeah, I did her old office something like, you. My construction workers smoked his side mirror. And it was just. It was hanging for months.

[TJ]

I've only seen Eddie laugh like this. Support.

[Steven Che]

I love it.

[Eddie]

It's White Sox Jones, dude. He just. I love him, but I hate him. He's the best.

[Big Cat]

Do we. Do we get him zoomed?

[Eddie]

I think TJ texted him.

[Steven Che]

No reply.

[Greg]

And he, like. He, like, got a scratch out of his car before assessing the dangling side view mirror.

[Eddie]

It was old. It was. I went in his car and was like, maybe. He said he had it for, like, years. And the first time I was in it, when we started. First started doing the podcast, he got hit by a semi. Like a. Like, it was like doing a turn.

[Steven Che]

How do you get. Not bad?

[Eddie]

It was like, turning and, like, the radius was off, you know, so it just kind of like. And he's like, like, what the heck Gets out? Like, pulls aviators off. Like, he's like, assessing it and, like, you know, whatever. I was like, the first problem I've had, and since then, it's been stuck. He like, I went in there and there was a.

[Big Cat]

There was a chunk out of the seat. Remember that?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

It was like, what?

[Kyle]

A chunk out of the seat, Dude.

[Eddie]

He's like my brother.

[Stephen Shay]

He's like.

[Eddie]

He put a smoker in there to

[Stephen Shay]

see it and I've never seen you like this.

[Steven Che]

I've never seen you like this.

[Kyle]

Brother put a smoker in there.

[Big Cat]

Holy.

[Steven Che]

He had a giant chunk out of a seat from his brother's smoker.

[Eddie]

Yes. That was so funny.

[Stephen Shay]

What else?

[Eddie]

It goes on and on. Like, one day he was. It was a dumpster and he couldn't see, so he pulled out and he got smoked.

[Greg]

I'm not exact. Every time you drive with him. I'm sorry, Dave, but he's blowing at least one stop sign. He's going at least 40 over a speed bump.

[Big Cat]

It happened recently.

[Kyle]

He definitely doesn't slow down for speed bumps.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Eddie]

Oh, it's. Oh, it's so funny.

[Kyle]

This is the car he's renting out, the one with the chunk out and the broken mirror.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

It's like this winter got all rats chewed up. All the electric

[Steven Che]

just rented out his rat chew.

[Kyle]

The car.

[Greg]

His car just cursed.

[Steven Che]

How much is he paying for this to be rented?

[Big Cat]

I don't know, dude.

[Kyle]

And he. And he keeps his mitts.

[Greg]

Yeah. Baseball.

[Kyle]

M. Heaps of baseball mitts.

[Greg]

In case, like, he ever has a

[Kyle]

game of Cat in the back seat.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Catcher's equipment, everything.

[Greg]

There'll be, like, one cleat in there. Where's the other? There's, like, an old thermos. How long has that been back there?

[Eddie]

So good, dude.

[Big Cat]

His brother's smoker.

[Steven Che]

How big of a chunk out of the seat?

[Eddie]

It's like, a sizable chunk. He's like, brother, it was a gift from my dad for Father's Day for William Williams. And he threw it in the back, and a chunk came out of my seat. Dave, you told me this. You were, like, this thing was pristine when I met you. Like, when we start, like, whatever. He's like, I know.

[Steven Che]

Wait, were you with him when he got hit by the semi?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I still don't understand how you get hit by a semi and not like, it was like.

[Eddie]

It was more of a box truck. Sorry. It was like. But, like, it was, like, the turn radius.

[TJ]

And they got a stop sign.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

And the guy, like, just kind of, like, clipped him. Like, clipped his, like, front corner and took the mirror. He didn't take anything, but he just kind of like. Like there was some paint damage, let's call it. Or like, a scratch.

[Danny]

And.

[Steven Che]

And Dave got out of the car.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Ripped off the aviators. What the.

[Big Cat]

I was like, yeah. Oh, man.

[TJ]

I think that rivaled the Mr. Portnoy clip.

[Steven Che]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie]

I don't know why the smoker. It was because it was so constant and, like, he was so proud of how pristine it was.

[Big Cat]

When was this a new car?

[Eddie]

Probably, like, 2017. 2018.

[Big Cat]

Okay. It's just gone. Just to.

[Eddie]

Yes. Yes.

[Steven Che]

Is this still the car he has?

[Eddie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He hasn't called? He hasn't texted you back?

[Greg]

No, he won't.

[Steven Che]

We gotta rent this thing out.

[Greg]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. We should rent it.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Under an alias.

[Greg]

You know, it's saying, like, mint condition, barely used.

[Kyle]

I gotta get this out.

[Greg]

Came with a chunk.

[Big Cat]

OBI picks up. There's just dogs going crazy.

[Eddie]

I don't know where he could be

[Greg]

on the side of the road.

[Steven Che]

I love him so much.

[Eddie]

I know. That's what.

[Steven Che]

So much your call has been.

[Big Cat]

Is he back to your number one? You're still Dante.

[Greg]

Old White Sox Dave would be.

[TJ]

Remember?

[Steven Che]

I think there's still moments though.

[Kyle]

Remember?

[Greg]

Kind of car related. Remember Crockpot gate after the movies? After 80 for Brady?

[Eddie]

Yeah, of course I do.

[Stephen Shay]

Of course.

[Steven Che]

Post crock pot gate for Brady.

[Greg]

Another sensitive one. We all, our old barstool Chicago office. There's probably like seven or eight of us. We all went to see 80 for Brady for a video. Dave drove half of us there. Eddie drove the other half in his Tesla. And we're leaving the theater and we see Dave like kind of speeding up and we're like, okay, whatever. And then by the time we get to the parking lot, Dave is already like skirting off. And we're like, yo, like, we're all going back to the office. You drove. Half was here. Like, can you drive us back? He's like, ah, it's out of my way. I'm like, eddie lives on the other side of town. It's way out of his way. And he's like, I got meat in the crock pot.

[Steven Che]

We're like, the whole point of the

[Greg]

crock pot is like, you can let it without burning.

[Big Cat]

Wait, so he drove you to the movie theater but then didn't drive anyone home?

[Greg]

No, that's correct.

[Eddie]

People in my car just like piled up.

[Steven Che]

Wait, did he tell people that he couldn't?

[Greg]

No, he tried. He tried running ahead of us so, like, he wouldn't have to deal with the alternative vacation.

[Steven Che]

It was because of meat in the crock pot.

[Eddie]

Yeah, Me in the crock pot. Boom.

[Greg]

And just pulled like borderline hit one of us.

[Steven Che]

All right.

[Big Cat]

What the dude?

[Steven Che]

And then like, did you confront him on this? Like days late.

[Eddie]

Like, Nick, it ain't worth.

[Big Cat]

It ain't worth it.

[Greg]

We didn't have you guys back in

[Big Cat]

the day in those days.

[Eddie]

It ain't worth it.

[Danny]

Holy.

[Greg]

It'd be like, like pissing off your brother before game night and say, God, I ruined the whole vibes. Like, now he's just mad.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. The crock pot is like, that's.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Do you think he was lying to you? Think he was going somewhere else?

[Greg]

He would have had a new excuse right after. He just didn't want to drive.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, okay.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Because it was like he had a backtrack to go to the office. Which I did too. But it's like, dude, who cares? We were like, we work with these people.

[Big Cat]

You also went together.

[Eddie]

Yes, exactly.

[Big Cat]

Can't give someone a one way trip.

[Greg]

Especially like co workers. Like, it'd be different if it was your boys. Like, I find your own way. We had like interns with us.

[Eddie]

Yeah. And it was like that far. It was like two miles.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Excuses are so good.

[Eddie]

Yeah. It was from the Regal at whatever, you know.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

By Pequod.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Oh, you got the Belmont Clark.

[Greg]

You got to do the White Sox day draft. So we could just let it all out and be done with.

[Eddie]

Release it all.

[Greg]

I only talk about him once a day after that.

[Eddie]

My God, dude.

[Big Cat]

I really want him to call in with these dogs.

[Steven Che]

I want to not be able to hear him whatsoever. I want his car and dogs to be making the loudest noises.

[Big Cat]

One of his dogs just gnawing at the hole, starting with the crock pot.

[Steven Che]

The crock pot, Chunk or the smoker.

[Eddie]

Nothing goes smooth for him.

[Big Cat]

Dude, it's crazy.

[Steven Che]

Is that why he loves turkey? It's like a clean slate. He's a celeb. There is. Is it just maybe

[Eddie]

very possible?

[Big Cat]

He's so funny. He's so Stephen. Are you gonna call Steven again?

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah, I'll do that right now.

[Jake]

All right, hold on.

[Big Cat]

Let me do Shady Race. All right, guys, quick question here. How are my Shady Rays? Basically the same quality as the 200 sunglasses I used to buy. And I'm not exaggerating. They feel every bit as premium as the expensive brands I've owned. Meanwhile, I'm wearing Shady Rays to the lake, on the boat, at the game, on the job site, because if I drop them in the ocean, they replace them. Knock them off the dock, they replace them. Sit. Sit on them. Day one, they replace them. And here's the crazy part. They're actually premium. Polarized lenses that cut glare hard. Super clear optics, durable frames with solid hinges. Clean, classic styles that look sharp without trying too hard. If you're outside, on the water, in the sun, driving every day, you need shades that actually perform. Go to shadyrays.com, grab a pair, get sunglasses with lost and broken protection. We've teamed up with Shady Rays to bring you an exclusive offer. Head to shadyrays.com use code yak50off2 or more polarized sunglasses. Try for yourself. The shades rated five stars by over 300, 000 people. I still don't know why he didn't leave a voicemail.

[Stephen Shay]

I'll do that voicemail.

[Big Cat]

Okay, here come the faces again. Oh, there's his business card.

[Eddie]

Oh, no,

[Stephen Shay]

I'm gonna say live is tape. Then I'll put them on.

[Big Cat]

Okay, great.

[Steven Che]

I'm nervous.

[Big Cat]

I am, too.

[Danny]

Wait, so he's available?

[Steven Che]

Why is he like a mime?

[Stephen Shay]

He's. So what's the voicemail?

[Big Cat]

You want me to leave like, hey, dude, it's me, Stephen. Asian buck Stephen. Thought we had a great time the other day. Anyway, you can call me back.

[Steven Che]

It's really emoting.

[Stephen Shay]

Hey, Stephen. This is Stephen, the Bucks fan. Asian dude from the other day. Just calling to check in. Give me a call back if you can.

[Steven Che]

Oh, that's his number. How.

[Jake]

Yeah,

[Big Cat]

he's like a football coach.

[Stephen Shay]

I said my number.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, of course, of course.

[Eddie]

Smart.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that was smooth, Chad.

[Big Cat]

He's gonna call you right back.

[Kyle]

I feel like the Asian dude from the other day.

[Big Cat]

From the Asian. The Asian Steven. Like which one? I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for friendship. Yeah. Be awesome. What do you got on the prep sheet, Stephen?

[Stephen Shay]

Nicky Smokes came out with his list of barstool people not allowed to listen to the new Drake album entitled Iceman.

[Big Cat]

So how's he gonna enforce us? I don't know.

[Steven Che]

I shouldn't be on that list.

[Kyle]

Why are you on the list?

[Danny]

Wait, why would you not be alone?

[Steven Che]

I guess I've made fun of Drake before. People that he's saying, people that took Kendrick Lamar's side. Oh, Kendrick Lamar, Drake. I don't recall doing that. I don't think I. Jesus.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man, it's still going.

[Danny]

What did PFT say?

[Steven Che]

Imagine your favorite artist puts out.

[Big Cat]

Dude, Mal Sec is a real prick.

[Kyle]

He's been an.

[Big Cat]

What is his deal?

[Kyle]

I think it's kind of fun.

[Big Cat]

What's his deal?

[Steven Che]

He's always been a prick.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but he's been like an extra prick.

[Kyle]

He stepped.

[Big Cat]

I like it started with.

[Kyle]

I like it too.

[Big Cat]

The mother's comment on spring break and then now he's just like, he's. He's become this hockey hardo that's absolutely successful. The NBA.

[Steven Che]

Malicex my guy.

[Big Cat]

Like he was.

[Kyle]

You're a loser. If you celebrate birthdays.

[Big Cat]

Last night there was an OT hockey winner. He's like, imagine watching the NBA. It's like, what? What? Why wouldn't you just watch hockey?

[Steven Che]

He's always been like this.

[Big Cat]

And then he just keeps posting his own highlight tapes.

[Eddie]

NBA was good last night too.

[Big Cat]

NBA was great. You can like both. I don't understand it. I feel like that's the majority. That's the silent majority of people.

[Kyle]

Yep, by far.

[Big Cat]

And then everyone else is just like a dick measuring contest on every sport.

[Stephen Shay]

NBA game was also awesome last night.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, they both were.

[Stephen Shay]

It was.

[Greg]

What was the mother's comment about spring

[Big Cat]

break when he was like, oh no, the. When he was like, thank God I had two Loving parents.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Yeah. He was like the biggest hater of that show.

[Big Cat]

Crazy dude.

[Steven Che]

Me and him went to the box in New York City. It's like.

[Kyle]

And describe the box.

[Steven Che]

It's a really like, late night, like 4am Disgusting. Like a dude will like staple his dick to his leg. Like, weird kind of show.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Steven Che]

And he was the best person to go with because he hated every second.

[Big Cat]

I can't believe he went.

[Steven Che]

I know. It was just me and him.

[Eddie]

Did he know like, what?

[Steven Che]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Have him zoom in, please. Yeah, people are stapling their dicks.

[Steven Che]

It's like a weird, like.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's like gross.

[Steven Che]

Score. Attention show.

[Danny]

People, like, swing from the ceiling, like with hooks through their backs. Kind of like that, like.

[Kyle]

And you, like, go crazy for it.

[Danny]

Not me, but have you been. No, but I know exactly what.

[Greg]

How do you know exactly what you

[Steven Che]

were performing that night? It was your penis.

[Danny]

It was my staple to do passive aggress.

[Big Cat]

He the. He tweeted the OT winner. And he said, yeah, no, let me turn on the NBA. What a loser.

[Steven Che]

I think he's to that age where you think you're old enough where your takes are. All right.

[Danny]

How old is he now?

[Big Cat]

He also is in that phase where he's got like 24000 followers on Twitter. So he thinks like, people really want to get malicex take. I. I mean, I guess if there

[Steven Che]

is anything notable, I'm like, I wonder what I do.

[Big Cat]

I do. I guess I do enjoy him.

[Steven Che]

Yeah. I can never be anti Malasak, but

[Big Cat]

that's the same energy.

[Kyle]

He's one of our top guests of all time.

[Big Cat]

Oh yeah, it's true.

[Kyle]

Been so long.

[Big Cat]

No, he's just been like angry. You just went to see to get some sharpies, picked up two bottled drinks as well. Empty store, walked up to the cashier. Standing at the register which is next to two self checkout stations, he goes, can you just use those over there? What the are you doing there then? Dude? What is this? Dude?

[TJ]

I don't hate that.

[Greg]

Are you okay taking an old joke?

[Big Cat]

Are you okay?

[Steven Che]

Are we talking about cvs angry lately?

[Big Cat]

Angry. Angry. Like last night, incredible hockey game. Also incredible NBA game. And your first thought is let me tweet about the NBA.

[Jake]

Not my first thought.

[Big Cat]

What was your first thought?

[Jake]

I said brutal way for the while to blow that series.

[Big Cat]

Just okay. And then you're like, let me, let me know.

[Jake]

I mean my NBA tweets. It's my favorite thing I got going now, so I just keep doing that every time something fun happens in hockey.

[Big Cat]

So that's.

[Jake]

That's just. I'm just doing a bit that people get mad about every single time.

[Big Cat]

Oh, it's a bit. But you also believe it.

[Jake]

Well, I haven't watched a second of the NBA, but now.

[Big Cat]

So that's not a bit.

[Jake]

But I'm saying if people weren't getting upset at those tweets, I wouldn't do them. So the fact that they get upset, I still do them the minute they stop getting.

[Big Cat]

But you also believe it?

[Jake]

Well, I. I think the NBA sucks.

[Big Cat]

Right? So that's where it's not a bit. That's not what a bid is.

[Steven Che]

I wouldn't play in a character thoughts

[Jake]

on that if people weren't upset at me for doing.

[Big Cat]

But they are your thoughts.

[Jake]

Right, but my point is.

[Big Cat]

Is the.

[Jake]

The doing of the tweet is the bit.

[Big Cat]

Right, but my point is you actually have the thoughts that like I do. You're watching hockey and you're like, imagine being a loser and watching the NBA.

[Steven Che]

But my.

[Jake]

The bit is the tweets.

[Big Cat]

I get that.

[Steven Che]

But people.

[Kyle]

You people are criticizing that belief, right? You actually, you just established that it's real.

[Jake]

Well, I do believe that.

[Steven Che]

So.

[Jake]

But I'm saying I, I wouldn't. I. If the tweet got one, like, I wouldn't throw the tweet out. They keep getting banger crazy.

[Big Cat]

But you are one of those hockey guys who's like obsessed with people like being like, how could you ever watch any other sport?

[Jake]

Well, no, I mean, if you like basketball, that's your prerogative. I just think it's shitty. I think basketball sucks.

[Big Cat]

Again, not a bit.

[Steven Che]

You've always been this opinionated, but why so vocal as of late?

[Jake]

I don't know. I'm just kind of bored sometimes.

[Steven Che]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. All right. And then your. Your sweet hockey videos.

[Jake]

Oh yeah, my beer league goals.

[Big Cat]

What's up with that?

[Jake]

I just think that I'm again bored.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Jake]

Stuff going on.

[Big Cat]

So you need more stuff to.

[Stephen Shay]

This is nasty.

[Steven Che]

Play it at full speed.

[Jake]

Ah, come on, bro.

[Kyle]

How'd you get the footage?

[Jake]

They have like a 24 hour live stream in the rinks, so you can just go do that whenever you want. It's pretty cool. Called Live bar.

[Big Cat]

So you do that every time?

[Jake]

Well, if there's something cool that happens.

[Big Cat]

Are you gonna ever tweet your Mrs.

[Jake]

I have before.

[Big Cat]

Oh, really?

[Jake]

I think so. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I.

[Jake]

Once I. I tweeted out that I.

[Big Cat]

That was.

[Danny]

That was cool.

[TJ]

That was pretty cool.

[Danny]

Spin move biz.

[Dave]

Biz.

[Jake]

DM me after that one and goes, dude, like, you like playing hockey? And I was like, yeah. He goes, cool. Is that your first time skating? Gun in my mouth hearing that. Thanks, man.

[Big Cat]

How's the. Why don't you get a girlfriend if you're bored?

[Jake]

Ah, Tampa's not my scene, man.

[Big Cat]

It's unfortunate now.

[Steven Che]

Yeah, that sounded like.

[Jake]

No, I'm saying for the ladies.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but no, you just said tampa's not my.

[Danny]

Wait, what's your scene? What's your idea?

[Kyle]

I don't have any chicks.

[Jake]

Not a lot of. Not a lot of wholesome ladies down here. Unfortunately.

[Steven Che]

You're looking. He's looking for a girl that's. Has perfect morals. In your opinion.

[Big Cat]

And virgin.

[Steven Che]

Virgin and a penis.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

With at least a one bedroom.

[Jake]

A lot of tattoos. It's just not good.

[Steven Che]

Cigarettes.

[Big Cat]

So judgmental.

[Greg]

They're physically not wholesome.

[Kyle]

Yeah, real is being authentic.

[Big Cat]

I know, but it's just like always shocking that, like it can't be shocking. No, but it is because you're like a. You're like an 80 year old man trapped in a 20, 20 year old's body.

[Jake]

And the sooner we sort of wrap our brains around that and are like, that's Jake the Hacker, everybody will be okay.

[Danny]

Florida's full of like Bible ladies. Like hot Bible ladies.

[Steven Che]

No, you don't want a Bible. You still want like sucked, right?

[Danny]

I don't know, like wholesome. Like, I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Greg]

What do you mean by wholesome? Because you were like, I'm looking for wholesome girls, but they all have tattoos.

[Big Cat]

You in a cup. How are you wholesome?

[Steven Che]

The jar.

[Jake]

Well, that was science.

[Steven Che]

Yes.

[Jake]

Different.

[Greg]

Okay, what's.

[Kyle]

You get linked up with the beer league? What organization is that?

[Eddie]

First.

[Jake]

First one I went through was on Facebook and then I'm in a second one now with some buddies that I met down here.

[Eddie]

Oh yes.

[Big Cat]

You got friends? Good.

[Jake]

Yeah, I made some new friends down here. They're good guys. They're all Sabers fans, so we're rooting for them.

[Kyle]

Any birthdays coming up?

[Jake]

No idea. But yeah, we're hanging out, we're doing stuff. Good time, fun.

[TJ]

I don't know.

[Steven Che]

Have you not gone on any dates since you've been in Tampa?

[Jake]

No, I told Chad, Che brought that one up once, I think on the show or I went up to some girl in a restaurant, asked for a number and then we went out and it was just miserable.

[Steven Che]

Why was it miserable?

[Jake]

I mean, she. This girl had no hobbies whatsoever. It was brutal. So I just haven't seen her since.

[Steven Che]

What, like, what did you say her interests were?

[Jake]

I literally was like, so, like, what do you like to do? She was like, nothing. I said, well, I guess this is where our paths diverge.

[TJ]

What's up? Malice seconds? Dana.

[Kyle]

Hey, Dana.

[Jake]

What's up, man?

[TJ]

You've been at all he is doing Gruden.

[Greg]

I don't do anything.

[Mikey Betts]

He's.

[Stephen Shay]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What's up, man?

[Jake]

I go to. I go to the driving range sometimes. That's fun.

[Big Cat]

Your golf content creator now.

[Jake]

Yeah, me and Nikki spokes the big two.

[Steven Che]

Nice.

[Jake]

And yeah. I play hockey, play lacrosse, do my job, have fun. And it's kind of how I enjoy living my life.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Steven Che]

Do you have any desire to sleep with a woman at the moment?

[Jake]

Not really.

[TJ]

So you.

[Jake]

You don't.

[Kyle]

You don't do much.

[Jake]

No.

[Greg]

You don't.

[Kyle]

You have no hobby.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

Dude, you're just like that.

[Jake]

I do other things.

[Stephen Shay]

It's just.

[Jake]

I don't. I. I really am not in the market to go and like chat up a lady at a bar. It sounds like the worst time ever right now for some reason. So. Doing what I want to do.

[Stephen Shay]

There he is.

[Jake]

I do. I do whatever I want pretty much all the time. It's awesome.

[Eddie]

Besides girls, we chilled in Tampa for a little bit.

[Steven Che]

He's a fun hang.

[Danny]

Yeah, really good.

[Eddie]

So.

[TJ]

I love battlesack.

[Kyle]

I love Tampa.

[Danny]

I love Tampa too.

[Jake]

Everyone's welcome all the time. Feel free, Come down, hang out.

[Steven Che]

Thank you.

[Jake]

Setup down here. Eddie's seen it. It's cool.

[Big Cat]

Let me see your. Let's see your apartment.

[Jake]

N. It's kind of dirty right now.

[Big Cat]

Come on.

[Danny]

I bet it's pristine.

[Big Cat]

Let's see your apartment.

[Jake]

Certainly not my dog Kate does hate

[Danny]

because I feel like he's a catch. Like he is. You are a catch. You're like a handsome guy who play. You play hockey. You have a cool job, you're fun to talk to. I like being around you.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's.

[Danny]

But so I'm like, what the wrong with you?

[Big Cat]

If you're a racist in a single parent household, he's going to judge you and hate you. I like that.

[Danny]

I feel like you're missing out, you know? I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Statistically speaking.

[Jake]

What Things kind of end up worse

[Steven Che]

for you if that's the case. Unfortunately, if you have a broke. If you have divorced parents.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, it's not the child's fault. I didn't say it was right.

[Jake]

All I said was, I'm glad That my family is together.

[Steven Che]

Would you date a chick who has divorced parents?

[Jake]

It's a bad sign.

[Big Cat]

Bad start.

[Kyle]

Bad start.

[Steven Che]

The bad.

[Jake]

It's a bad jumping off point.

[Steven Che]

Oh, my God, he's the best.

[Jake]

If I'm handed data, why would I not use it?

[Danny]

Do you have any women friends at all?

[Jake]

Plenty. I go to the dog park next to my apartment. I have plenty of female friends. We all chop it up down there. I'm one of the gals down there.

[Danny]

Okay.

[Jake]

But they do not like my mouth sometimes.

[Danny]

They don't like your mouth sometimes. Why?

[Kyle]

I'm just.

[Jake]

I'm a very open, honest guy about certain things and sometimes I get myself into trouble.

[Big Cat]

What's the most recent thing?

[Steven Che]

I don't understand your voice. What was that?

[Kyle]

Cave.

[Steven Che]

I opened up my mouth sometimes and it winds me up in trouble.

[Big Cat]

What. What was the most recent one?

[Jake]

Some. We were hanging out down this last night, I guess.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jake]

I sound such a dick when I say these things though, but.

[Big Cat]

Well, no. Yeah, because you are.

[Jake]

I know some girl. We were hanging. It was like me and like four or five other people downstairs, and somebody asked this girl, like, what are you getting into? What are you doing this weekend? And I just go, probably some dude. And that was probably not nice to say, but.

[Big Cat]

Wait, what.

[Steven Che]

What you said.

[Big Cat]

Oh, about her.

[Greg]

Answered for her.

[Steven Che]

Did you call her

[TJ]

dude?

[Steven Che]

You suck.

[Danny]

How well.

[Greg]

How well did you know her?

[Jake]

Probably pretty well.

[Steven Che]

And what did she say?

[Jake]

A couple hahas. Couple chuckles. I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Damn. What else? Give me another one.

[Danny]

I'll be honest. That was worse than I thought.

[Jake]

Someone. Someone downstairs got a bad spray T. I kept calling her Rachel. Do as all.

[Big Cat]

What the. Dude, this mal sec is shockingly enough too.

[Jake]

A lot of people did not know who that was.

[Steven Che]

Really.

[Big Cat]

Mal sec is the quintessential. Like, everyone knows this dude who's like, he's just a dick, but he's like, listen, I just keep it honest, you know, like, sorry. I tell the truth. Like, no, dude.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It's also just ways to be a normal human. Just keeping it real with Jake Maliset myself, man.

[Greg]

What do you think is your. What do you think is your most controversial Ick.

[Big Cat]

Vaginas.

[Jake]

Big thing down here. Big thing down here with the ladies is a lot of the. The needles, the injections, the botox, the filler.

[Big Cat]

Not my thing.

[Jake]

Big ache for me.

[Steven Che]

But what about like, what if a chick had, like, wrinkles or flat chest?

[Jake]

I think the way that you age naturally is a beautiful thing. I think everyone should be allowed to do it free of judgment.

[TJ]

Judgment about fake tits.

[Jake]

I'm also not a big fan.

[Big Cat]

I don't think you should.

[Jake]

I don't think you should be sticking things in your body that are not natural. The peptides for the guys too. I found that everyone's on peptides. The going on with that.

[Steven Che]

So would you prefer fake boobs or completely flat chest?

[Jake]

Probably a flat chest. I just think it kind of looks weird.

[Danny]

So like pecs?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

You're a gay man.

[Jake]

I know some girls from high school that have like destroyed their faces and their bodies with all this plastic surgery and injections and all this. They look horrific compared to what they used to be. Nice lovely ladies with cute faces and now they're destroyed. They look 45.

[Steven Che]

Why do you keep agree to coming on this show?

[Kyle]

Let them go.

[Jake]

Oh, you got any fun?

[Big Cat]

I think cool. I want to see your apartment.

[Danny]

It's.

[Jake]

I mean. So my dog gets in the trash. So I've been stacking trash on the counter. But I put it into bags. So like I have to. I have to lock. I have to lock up the. But that's the trash.

[Big Cat]

Oh my God. Malice.

[Jake]

But I'll clean up.

[Big Cat]

What about all the other stuff on the counter?

[Jake]

The hats and such?

[Big Cat]

No, the.

[Greg]

The cleaning product.

[Big Cat]

Cleaning. A lot of hats on the detergent.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Jake]

I told you it's messy.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[TJ]

We see the Fox Shack.

[Steven Che]

What's the back?

[Big Cat]

Oh, whoa. This.

[Danny]

Oh no.

[Steven Che]

What's out on the balcony bench?

[Jake]

I was my lacrosse and hockey bags. I got some tables and chairs out there.

[Big Cat]

This is an incel. Man. Come on.

[TJ]

Got my dog.

[Jake]

What's up?

[Big Cat]

What about the bedroom where the magic happens?

[Jake]

It's the most dude bedroom of all time.

[Big Cat]

What if there's just a dude in there?

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Hi.

[Stephen Shay]

Hey, what's up?

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. That is very jig.

[Steven Che]

Turn off the lights.

[TJ]

Guitar.

[Eddie]

I didn't know your guitar.

[Big Cat]

He was a. Oh, you never seen him do his guitar video.

[Stephen Shay]

Whoa.

[Big Cat]

They're the most like. Oh, check this out.

[TJ]

Chicks look at the guitar.

[Steven Che]

Not my penis. That's out of my shorts.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Oh, here's my dog.

[Jake]

Double vanity. Pretty sweet.

[Big Cat]

Is that a hair dryer?

[Jake]

Yeah, I use a hair dryer. I got nice hair.

[Big Cat]

Wait, is that soap?

[Danny]

Got good hair.

[Jake]

Yeah, you see that?

[Big Cat]

You can't get them, but it's not.

[Kyle]

Is that soap?

[Greg]

Oh, it is body wash. Just for decoration.

[Jake]

Half empty.

[Steven Che]

What's the far. That's pessimism. What's the far left?

[Jake]

Shampoo my dogs.

[Steven Che]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Do you shower with your dog? Yeah.

[Greg]

When he has to get bathed.

[Big Cat]

Are you naked? Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Get naked and bring your dog in the shower.

[Jake]

You guys don't do that.

[Big Cat]

It's a two for one. No, I don't say. I've never done.

[TJ]

I don't hate that.

[Steven Che]

I think I do.

[Jake]

I think I'm the biggest weirdo for no reason.

[Kyle]

It's kind of weird.

[TJ]

I think it's easier.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's.

[Jake]

I'm already getting wet and then I have to go to the dog.

[TJ]

You do wear a bathing suit. I'm with you. Mal. Sec.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man. All right, we. I think we got. Do we have White Sox? Dave? Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Everything he says is good.

[Kyle]

Oh.

[Steven Che]

Oh, my God.

[Big Cat]

Stephen, do the last ad before we get White Sox. Davon Dante's great doom episode. Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Dave Malasek. Dante.

[Stephen Shay]

Is it BetterHelp?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

Okay. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Life is a journey. Some days feel good. Others feel overwhelming. Whether whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it out all out on your own. But the truth is, no one has all those answers. And the journey should not be alone. Having someone with you, someone to listen to you, to understand you, to support you, can make all the difference. Therapy is awesome. I definitely recommend it to everybody. Quality therapists. Better Help tracks Therapists work. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps you identify your needs and preferences. Preferences on our 12 plus years of experience in the industry. Leading match fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored recommendations. With over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. You don't have to be alone on this journey. Find support and find someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% at betterhelp.com/yak. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com Y A K. Thank you. To better help.

[Steven Che]

10 off.

[Stephen Shay]

10% off.

[Big Cat]

Oh, Dave.

[Stephen Shay]

What's up?

[Big Cat]

Where are the dogs?

[Dave]

We just got back from the T mobile store because my girlfriend dropped My phone in the lake.

[Big Cat]

No way.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Cat]

That was not the question.

[TJ]

No.

[Steven Che]

So wait a minute.

[Big Cat]

Wait a minute.

[Steven Che]

That was your answer for where's the dogs?

[Kyle]

Prior to that, back to back, headliners.

[Steven Che]

Oh, my God.

[Dave]

Prior to that, the dogs were in the lake by Sydney's play, swimming.

[Kyle]

Okay, then was that avoidable by your girl?

[Dave]

I would say so. I. I hopped in the lake. I'm like, hold this so it doesn't get wet. And then I turn around and I hear the curve plunk, and I'm like,

[Danny]

wait, you hopped in the lake? You hopped in the lake before you're filming it?

[Dave]

She had it.

[Greg]

He told her to hold it while he went in.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Oh, you were just going to swim?

[Dave]

Yeah, I was just hopping in, playing fetch with the dogs, and that was that.

[Danny]

Okay.

[Dave]

Yeah, but that's it down here for city Sydney's wedding on Saturday.

[Big Cat]

How was. How's the hole in your. In the back of your car? Because your brother. Smoker.

[Dave]

Oh, that. That's been there for, like, 10 years now. I mean, there's holes all over that car.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. You still rent it out?

[Dave]

No, I don't. I actually used Turo to come here. Oh, this is a Danny Conrad thing.

[Greg]

Wait, why did you just drive your own car to the wedding?

[Dave]

Because now it's beat to shit and we had two dogs and a bunch of luggage to get down here.

[Greg]

No, we didn't need to have a funeral for that car the day it finally craps.

[Dave]

Yeah, it's. It's hanging on by a thread. Still drives well, but cosmetically, it looks like a hooptie.

[Kyle]

I don't understand, but, like, I don't

[Dave]

understand why Danny thinks this is so weird. People use Airbnb in vrbo. People can do that with their car. I was never touching that car when we were in the insurance office, and I lived a block away, so that paid for, like, half the car.

[Steven Che]

Now, how much was it to rent out your car?

[Dave]

I don't know. Like, I forget. I'd make, like, 300 bucks a weekend off of it. People would take it to, like, Kentucky and Tennessee and Georgia and stuff, though.

[Big Cat]

Like, you take a bar.

[Eddie]

Did you have to say that? You're bringing the dogs in this car? This rented car?

[Greg]

Yeah. Oh, hey, who stuck up for you, though? Once that construction worker knocked your. Your mirror off. All right, Dave.

[Dave]

That was you, Danny. That was you.

[Greg]

He was thinking about it.

[Big Cat]

And what about the crock pot?

[Dave]

I had to think about what actually happened. The crock pot?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Greg]

I might have to get out of here.

[Eddie]

Danny was standing.

[Steven Che]

We're talking about the crock pot.

[Jake]

Eddie brought up 80 for Brady.

[Big Cat]

The movie left because you had meat in the crock pot. You wouldn't drive back.

[Dave]

I had. I had food cooking in the crock pot. They wanted to take me north to Belmont. I lived south by where our office is now, and I said, you guys can hitch an Uber.

[Big Cat]

I don't want to deal with Halstead

[Dave]

traffic at rush hour on middle of the week. You guys can deal with that on your own. I think that's fair.

[Greg]

It'd be easy for me find a clip and post it up.

[Big Cat]

A Typically. Typically.

[Dave]

Typically a very good ride offer. Just not in that moment.

[Big Cat]

Well, yeah. You rent out your car.

[Greg]

Were you lying about after the after dark stream?

[Dave]

Exactly.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

But that was an excuse.

[Kyle]

The.

[Steven Che]

The meat in the crock pot.

[Mikey Betts]

Right,

[Dave]

that. Yeah, I.

[Big Cat]

Well, that. It wasn't an excuse.

[TJ]

It was true.

[Dave]

I actually did have food in the crock pot. Not that you can really overcook food in a crock pot.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Dave]

It's kind of the purpose of a crock pot. It was more. I didn't want to drive him north on Halstead in rush hour, but I did use the crock pot as the excuse at the time.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[TJ]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Anything else? Nope. It's good. I mean, we did.

[TJ]

We're.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Are you bringing the dogs to the wedding?

[Dave]

No, they will be staying here in our Airbnb.

[Greg]

Can you put your car back on Turo for just like a week?

[Dave]

Yeah, I mean, I. I do not touch it anymore. Hardly ever. So maybe I will. It does have a gigantic. It looks like someone took a baseball back to the back right fender. Did someone that will.

[Steven Che]

What happened?

[Dave]

No, a mail truck hit me that time. I was just getting home from somewhere overseas.

[Jake]

I forget where.

[Dave]

And, dude, I don't even want to

[Steven Che]

forget where you're getting back from overseas.

[Dave]

I think I was getting back. It was. I was getting back from Italy last year about a year ago, and a mail. It was last May, and I was. I left my phone in a taxi. I tracked the taxi down. I was waiting outside the exact taxi my phone was in. And while that happened, a mail truck hit my car. And I was so over like, all the travel that I just. I'm like, dude, I don't care. Like, don't worry about it. So now I have a whole back. My car, too.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie]

Thing took beating.

[Steven Che]

And Ed was with you when a box truck hit you?

[Dave]

That.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That was not my fault.

[Eddie]

No, that was not his fault, truly.

[Big Cat]

And your girlfriend dropped your phone. That just happened.

[Dave]

Yeah, it's been an unfortunate run the last 37 and a half years.

[Big Cat]

Oh, all right. Dave, you're the best. Oh, have fun this weekend, dude.

[Kyle]

Yep, have fun.

[Dave]

I was actually on this note. I was thinking about your old Avalon excursions on the way down here. Dan.

[Big Cat]

Yes. Dude, that car was the best totaled after Brian Erlacher Trustman cut. I guess it wasn't. Was he cut? He wasn't officially cut.

[Eddie]

He just was never.

[Big Cat]

He's never resigned. Listen to. Well, let him go. Yeah. And then I. I hit someone going six miles an hour on Clyborne. And then, and then I took it

[Jake]

in enough to total it.

[Big Cat]

They're like, yeah, this is done. It was like a 12 year old car. So that car was the best. The best. Okay, Dave, that's what my car is like. I. It's sentimental. Yeah. Yeah.

[Stephen Shay]

I'll see you guys.

[Dave]

I'll see whoever is coming down to Sydney's on Saturday.

[Big Cat]

All right. So you. See you, Dave.

[Steven Che]

See you, Dave.

[Kyle]

Dave.

[Big Cat]

Who's all going to be there?

[Eddie]

I think just me, him in chief.

[Big Cat]

Nice. Nice.

[Greg]

See Dave.

[Big Cat]

All right.

[Steven Che]

Dave.

[Greg]

Dave. Dave.

[Big Cat]

Dude. The fact that he saw where the dogs. Well, my girlfriend dropped. It's just the.

[Steven Che]

That happens to him.

[Greg]

What's gonna happen tomorrow he's gonna drop the wedding cake.

[Eddie]

But the crazy part about all these stories, except for the ones that I could corroborate, is I always believe there's still a kernel of it being his fault.

[Jake]

Always.

[Eddie]

You know, like there's something he's leaving out. Right.

[Big Cat]

Like there has to.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I agree.

[Steven Che]

He jumped in the lake with the dogs.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And handed his phone to his girlfriend.

[Steven Che]

And then he heard the kerplunk.

[Big Cat]

He said, that's my phone.

[Danny]

My phone, isn't it?

[Dave]

Sure.

[Kyle]

That was a smooth operation going to the Verizon street.

[Danny]

Imagine being that guy at T Mobile who just deal with.

[Steven Che]

I just want him in the Verizon

[Big Cat]

store, wet from the lake, wet dogs running around. So good.

[Steven Che]

Where are the dogs? I need a clip of that now of just Dave, where are the dogs? I need a quote card.

[Eddie]

Another funny aspect is he. He's been trying to meet with Tate to come up with some ideas. And so they like sat down. They're like, all right, Tate, I want to sit down. I want to hammer out some stuff. And he's like, all right. Well, like, all right, it'll be me, you and Lucas. He's like, well, I just. I kind of just want to Meet with you. Like, you know, you're the guy with the ideas. And Tate's like, dude, what the. That's kind of up. Lucas is like half of After Dark, you know?

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

So then it turned into a thing where White Sox Dave was like, apologetic for not being like, you know, just.

[Greg]

He wasn't busting Lucas.

[Big Cat]

He wasn't.

[Eddie]

Yeah, he was just like, I don't think he realized how much that Lucas.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And then he's like, I'm sorry. Like, let's all three meet. And then he sent an email to. To all three of them, and it said, white's Dave, Tate, and company.

[Steven Che]

Was one guy.

[Eddie]

Was one guy who was Lucas. Yeah. And might have been Lance, too, but it was just. It was just funny.

[Greg]

That's where you're stopping the story.

[Eddie]

And then. And then the. The meat. And then I asked Tate. I was like, whatever came out of that. It's like, funny you bring that up. It's today. I was like, he's on his way to Atlanta. He's like. Then he's like, well, you should text him, see what's going on. He's like, tate, I was just about to text you. We're gonna have to reschedule.

[Greg]

A wedding is like something you have on the calendar, you know, like.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Greg]

And he scheduled it like two weeks ago. But we gotta rent that car.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Is it crummier than yours? Is it more beat up than yours?

[Greg]

Yeah, but it's newer. It's nicer. But it's way more beat up.

[Big Cat]

I want to rent.

[Danny]

I guess I don't understand either. If he said it runs fine, isn't that. I would like to take a beat up car that runs fine on a long road trip with dogs.

[Big Cat]

Definitely agreed.

[Danny]

I don't know

[Steven Che]

if he could just, like, there's no content coming out next week. If he could do a car review and just every story of every chunk.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

Taken out.

[Eddie]

Have you ever seen his? We did a crib to his old apartment.

[Steven Che]

The pumpkin that he had sitting on his. Oh, that's a couch.

[Greg]

Oh, it's an older one. Yeah. A pumpkin in, like, January.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Steven Che]

He lifted it up by the stem, and the stem just came right off.

[Eddie]

Never seen this.

[Kyle]

Talked about recently because he stepped through his shower floor.

[Steven Che]

It has been a rough 37 and a half years for him.

[Eddie]

Great.

[Steven Che]

Oh, Ed, I've never seen you laugh

[Big Cat]

like, oh, it's so funny.

[TJ]

Two times.

[Big Cat]

So funny.

[Eddie]

Yeah. I don't know. Got me.

[Big Cat]

All right. So when are you going to Sydney's wedding?

[Eddie]

Tomorrow.

[Big Cat]

Dana, will you be here tomorrow?

[TJ]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

All right. And I think Sam Talent's gonna be here.

[Steven Che]

Oh, sick.

[Danny]

Oh, sweet.

[Steven Che]

Amazing.

[Danny]

While he was in town.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So I think Titus is back. Brandon may or may not be at the brewers game right now. How was Connor's solo? Mostly sports.

[Danny]

He did great. He's really good at as.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Everything.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's.

[Steven Che]

He's special.

[Danny]

He is special.

[Big Cat]

Special.

[Danny]

He did a good job.

[Kyle]

Very much.

[Big Cat]

Tj. Did you have fun?

[Steven Che]

I did. Connor is. He puts a lot of pressure on himself, but whenever Mark and Brandon and you guys give him a task, he's always gonna go above and beyond.

[Big Cat]

That's a fact.

[Danny]

Yep.

[Steven Che]

I thought he did well. It's a good trait.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Okay, let's spin the wheel. No, no. Callback from Stephen, I assume.

[Stephen Shay]

I'm trying him one more time.

[Steven Che]

Leave a voicemail. Again.

[Big Cat]

He really is.

[Steven Che]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

No tattoo. He's. He's.

[Greg]

That.

[Big Cat]

That. That podcast that goes viral where it's just the dude sitting with, like, eight chicks.

[Greg]

Porn star.

[Mikey Betts]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And he, like, just rates them all to their face.

[Steven Che]

Tell me what body count. Doesn't matter.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're four and a half. You're five.

[Greg]

Cobra Jake.

[Big Cat]

He is that.

[TJ]

Probably some guy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you'd be a six, but you have tattoos, so you're two.

[Steven Che]

What are you doing this weekend? Let me guess. A dude. Jesus, Jake. We're at the dog park.

[Stephen Shay]

No pickup. Maybe he's off today.

[TJ]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah. We'll try again.

[TJ]

We'll get him.

[Big Cat]

I want you to become friends with this guy.

[Stephen Shay]

I think it'll work out.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. You're built for this. Look at that smile. All right, let's spin the wheel. We're going to get a final. What? Soon? And no. All right, see you for tomorrow. The. Act. It's the act.

[Jake]

Love you guys.

[Steven Che]

See you tomorrow.