You Won't Believe Which Barstool Employee Offered Doitche a Place to Stay | The Yak 2-9-26

Summary

The Yak – February 9, 2026

Episode: "You Won't Believe Which Barstool Employee Offered Doitche a Place to Stay"

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Main Theme Overview

This episode of The Yak is a classic, wide-ranging Barstool gathering, recorded just after the Super Bowl. With Kyle "KBNoSwag" Bauer, Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Big Cat, and a rotating cast of friends, the crew is back in studio and hits topics from Super Bowl fallout, life updates, and Barstool workplace happenings, to offbeat competitions, moving stories, and a treasure trove of tangents. The main thrust centers on Barstool employee Deutsch's big move to Chicago, the bizarre chain of events enabling his temporary housing, and everyone's reactions to the wild week that just wrapped.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Super Bowl Debrief and Reactions (34:10–56:31)

• The hosts dissect the Super Bowl, lamenting the Patriots’ loss and sharing inside glimpses of the Barstool suite experience.
• Fasoli calls in to report on the post-game bus ride, the emotional hangover, and Dave Portnoy's reactions ("I thanked him probably 9,000 times yesterday, but someone...said it...and he was like, 'Alright, well, I guess we're gonna have to run it back next year.' And Dave was like, 'No, you guys are a jinx now.'" – [53:10]).
• The hosts speculate on who drank the most, who cried, the food situations in the suite (the infamous $200 burger and lack of chicken tenders), and how people processed defeat.
• Classic moment: Discussion of Jerry Thornton’s party stories and "painted nipple" tales from earlier Barstool days ([49:31]).

2. Deutsch’s Move to Chicago & Mincy's Hospitality (09:05–15:01)

• The central storyline of the episode: Barstool’s Deutsch has moved to Chicago, but his apartment isn't ready. Fellow Barstooler Mincy (Ben Mintz) graciously — or perhaps absent-mindedly — offers up his apartment while he's out of town. Hilarity ensues as the crew grills Deutsch about living in Mincy’s pad.
  • Deutsch: “He offered, like, two or three times. I said, yeah, I’m definitely gonna do that.” ([13:04])
  • Speculation about what Deutsch may end up owing Mincy, and a running joke about what he'll find in the apartment, e.g. "You’re gonna have to open his mail and pay his bills." ([12:44])
  • Debate over whether Deutsch will "christen" Mincy’s bed. ("Are you gonna fuck in his bed?" — [13:32])

3. Deutsch: Job History and Barstool Journey (17:22–26:44)

• Deutsch recounts his prior jobs, from "Nielsen household rep" (luring people into TV tracking for $50–$150/mo with balloons and melted chocolate) to lobster fisherman, exterminator, and salesman.
  • "[Nielsen] would pick a random house. I’d show up with a goodie bag and balloons and pretend they won a sweepstakes, but really I’m trying to get them to let us monitor everything they do and watch." — [18:00]
• His non-linear career path is revealed as entirely designed to "just get by" until he could work for Barstool.
  • "This was always the goal… I just wanted to make enough money to keep me going." — [24:59]
  • The crew marvels at the rare phenomenon of someone achieving a self-professed dream via COVID-era "drinking videos" ([25:10]).
• Memorable moment: Deutsch asks if he gets a computer now, admitting he hasn't owned one in eight years ([10:56]).

4. Barstool Office Dynamics & Weekend Recaps (26:44–33:00)

• Fussing over bracket displays, beer shelves, and office seating (debating whether Deutsch deserves a recliner or a desk).
• Joke suggestion Deutsch becomes "the bracket guy" — creating elaborate, multi-shelf beer and event brackets for upcoming NCAA, World Cup, etc.
• Packing debates: the group roasts Deutsch for bringing only "two bathing suits, a couple T-shirts, and four pairs of shoes" for his move ([14:00]).

5. Halftime Show & Super Bowl Broadcast Analysis (29:33–42:00)

• Reactions to the Spanish-language halftime show, the appearance of Bad Bunny, Ricky Martin, and notable "Latina ass" ("Make Latina ass a staple of all future halftime shows..." — [37:10]).
• Honest admission by several that the halftime experience is now "never for us" — it's for a broader, more international audience.

6. Olympics and Winter Sports Tangent (41:00–44:31)

• The crew branches into Winter Olympics chat — critiquing various sports, drone footage, and questioning the "legitimacy" of events like skeleton and curling as compared to classic track and field ("Are those the best curlers? Or just the ones who decided to do a boring ass sport?" — [42:47]).
• Desire to see more head-to-head sledding and skepticism about judged Olympic events.

7. Miscellaneous Barstool & Sports Debates (76:00–81:25)

• Spirited debate on NFL Hall of Fame selection, focusing on Cooper Kupp’s candidacy compared to Terrell Davis. ("If you’re the best in the world for one full season…is that enough for the Hall of Fame?" — [81:04])

8. Aftermath, Upcoming Plans, and Offbeat Competitions (107:59–112:44)

• Planning for the next Mincy vs. Ethan competition, with a brainstorming session for what stunts or events to use. Push for tighter, snappier events: "I also would like some more nut shots...I want more nut shots. I want both of them to be hit in the nuts multiple times." ([108:46])
• Discussion of possible physical challenges and ideas (chicken chasing, heads-down poker, local radio call-ins).
• On upcoming office events: block parties, hiring cover bands, learning mahjong, and experimenting with new games (Karam boards, tabletop baseball).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Losing Stuff:
  • “This all sounds like a guy who left his laptop.” – Big Cat ([02:53])
  • “Don’t you have a history of losing the backpack?” ([02:08])
• On Moving to Chicago:
  • Deutsch: “He offered [a place to stay] like two or three times and I said, yeah, I’m definitely gonna do that.” ([13:04])
• On the Super Bowl Suite:
  • “The food looks crazy...that video of Dana over the $200 burger.” ([63:13])
  • “There was a report that you were crying on the bus ride home.” — to Fasoli ([50:16])
• On Barstool Camaraderie:
  • Brandon: "This is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my life. Without it, I’m a poor nobody. But God, I hate him.” (referring to working with Dave Portnoy, [33:44])
• On Job History Absurdity:
  • “I got like all chocolate, and it was in the middle of summer, and all my chocolate baskets were…giving people melted chocolate mess.” – Deutsch, Nielsen story ([19:11])
• Classic Barstool Dynamic:
  • “Make Latina ass a staple of all future halftime shows, no matter who.” ([37:10])
• On Mah Jong & Office Hobby Trends:
  • “She comes home and she’s like, ‘I finished first.’ I’m like, so what did we win? Nothing.” – Big Cat, on his wife’s Mahjong club ([88:40])
• On Sports Legitimacy:
  • "When I watch Usain Bolt run, you’re like, that is the fastest guy in the world. But skeleton, it’s like that guy just decided when he was 14 to play the sport that no one else was going to play." – Big Cat ([42:23])
• Deutsch, the American Dream:
  • “It’s rare you see someone who’s like, ‘I did my dream.’ You’ve done it.” ([25:24])

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• Deutsch’s Temporary Housing & Move: [09:05–15:01]
• Deutsch’s Resume & Nielsen Hijinks: [17:22–26:44]
• Super Bowl Suite Sadness: [34:10–56:31]
• Halftime Show (Bad Bunny, Ricky Martin, etc.): [29:33–42:00]
• Olympics Meltdown / Curling Slander: [41:00–44:31]
• Mahjong and Office Trends: [87:57–89:47]
• Kupp/Davis HOF Debate: [76:30–81:25]
• Mincy vs Ethan event ideation: [107:59–112:44]

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Tone and Style

The Yak keeps its trademark loose, roast-heavy tone. Friends dunk on one another. Genuine concern and affection breaks through the sarcasm. Giant inside jokes (Mahesh! Coop Kupp’s HOF case! Who left the laptop!) are freely enjoyed. Banter is king: the episode’s structure is “chaotic hangout” with narrative threads loosely tied by the crew’s chemistry.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential sample: chaotic, hilarious, and surprisingly heartfelt. Even if you’re not deep in Barstool lore, you’ll follow the arcs, get absorbed by office politics, and appreciate hearing a crew of work friends riff unfiltered on everything under the sun.

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Suggested Listen Order

• If short on time:
  • Deutsch’s Chicago move & Barstool job history ([09:05–26:44])
  • Super Bowl recap & emotional aftermath ([34:10–56:31])
  • Halftime Show & Olympics bits ([29:33–44:31])
  • Office antics, competitions, and future plans ([76:00–end])

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Closing Note

With football in the rearview, The Yak transitions toward a "post-season" mood: nostalgia, goofing off, plotting new games, and leaning into each other’s quirks. This episode is equal parts sports reflection and work-culture sitcom, wrapping up one wild Barstool week with a fond look ahead.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple. Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us.

[B]

Anyone.

[C]

Hello, it's Yak. We're back in studio. Hello, everyone. Hello.

[A]

Feels good to be back.

[C]

Spell blue coffee.

[D]

Wait.

[C]

Does it say wait? No, this is wrong. What's. Where's my sheet?

[B]

I got one right here if you'd like it.

[E]

That's good. I.

[C]

This says January 27th.

[E]

That's an automated thing. I don't know why that did that, but.

[C]

Yeah, automated thing.

[B]

It's not automated. You just didn't.

[C]

It says January 27th.

[B]

Didn't switch it out.

[C]

How's that automated? If it's automated, it should be set. I don't want to do this right away.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

This is too early.

[B]

We're back.

[C]

We're back in studio.

[A]

I missed you guys.

[C]

Coffee. Steven, did you even. Did you, like. Did you have to figure out how to get to the office today? Been so long. I guess you were here last night. All right.

[A]

Is your son just a grown man now?

[C]

So blue coffee. Go right now. Still blue coffee dot com. Buy some great coffee.

[B]

What is.

[A]

The ads are tiny.

[E]

I put. I print them out. So I got my laptop stolen. So I don't have Microsoft.

[C]

Well, actually, I forgot about this. Do you got it stolen or you forgot it?

[E]

No, it appears it's been stolen. I actually talked to Dom this morning, and it's, like, pretty nailed down that it's been stolen.

[C]

How is that nailed down? That he. So Stephen texted me on Friday. We got back, landed. I get a text from Steven, say, hey, do you remember if I had my backpack with me or not? Because I think someone might have taken it, which that has to be. He forgot to bring it.

[A]

Don't you have a history of losing the backpack?

[E]

Yeah, I. I left it on a TSA belt in right before barstool camp.

[C]

So that could have easily happened again.

[E]

So that was my thing. That was. That was my thinking. And I rushed to the airport because I post. I had my laptop in the car. I posted a blog in the car. My NBA blog on Friday. And then I went in with Mikey Betts. We went to security. I got through. I was fumbling around, and I actually had. I went out the exit. I had to go through security again. So this is where things get a little murky.

[B]

What is the hair.

[A]

Why'd you have to go through security again?

[E]

I was like. I was trying to find the gate on my Phone. And I just had my phone, my head down, and I went through the wrong exit, so I had to go back through security.

[C]

This all sounds like a guy who left his laptop.

[E]

Yes, but if it. If it gets left on a TSA belt, it will be returned to Lawson. Found that.

[C]

I said, uber.

[B]

They called out for you on the airport, Pennsylvania. I said multiple times, stephen Chia, you.

[C]

Left it in your Uber.

[E]

No, I didn't. I had it with.

[B]

With.

[E]

I get out with. With my. He passed. I 100% had it.

[C]

How do you know you 100% had that?

[E]

I had it. I went through security. I had it. It was on me.

[C]

How do you know?

[E]

Anyway, I went through security. I thought I had it. The one. The one. The one thing that gives me doubt is I think I had a wine opener in there.

[A]

You just went from. You knew you had it, so you thought you had it, though?

[E]

No, but I was with Dom, and Dom said that he remembers I had it because I had an orange bag with me as well that I bought souvenirs in. And he said that on the flight out, people are giving the flight. People are giving passengers a hard time to move things into two bags. And Dom was saying he was worried I was right next to him the whole time that they were gonna have to make me condense my stuff into two bags. And I had three bags. So he's like, I'm pretty confident you had your backpack. Okay, put my backpack in different. I put it above my. In the overhead compartment in two different rows because I was the last person, literally, before they started making people check bags. So there wasn't space. It didn't fit under my seat. So I put it in a thing two or three rows in front of me.

[F]

Oh, so you remember. Have. Like, you.

[A]

But you keep saying, you know, you had your bag. You don't know that the laptop was in it, though.

[B]

Still don't see how it's stolen.

[G]

When was it stolen?

[E]

At some point on the. On the flight, I got. I. I was asleep for most on the flight, so as sleep for most of the flight. I woke up and it was gone. So wait, we searched the plane.

[G]

You think it was someone, like, went into your bag that was up in the thing and took your laptop?

[E]

No, they took the whole bag.

[C]

Wait, so that means that you just left the whole bag in the Uber?

[A]

That's.

[E]

I didn't.

[B]

Or the airplane.

[C]

Or the airplane.

[B]

Just never got it out of the airplane.

[E]

They checked the airplane, like, so. But I didn't see.

[C]

But hold on, let Me ask you a question. When you. When you land and you put your bag in a different row.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

And you land, your eyes have to be on that bag. And you not. You didn't see anyone else take it?

[E]

I did not see anyone else do.

[C]

You never had it on the plane. You're. You're now telling us that someone stole the backpack during the flight at some point.

[A]

That's all.

[G]

It's a perfect crime. It is the perfect crime.

[B]

I will.

[E]

I will say. I will say this. The only thing that appeared weird to me was I got my white bag out and. Which was my rolly bag. And then I went to look for my backpack. That compartment was closed. All the other ones were open. And so I was like, I wonder why that's closed. And I can't get through because there are people getting out. I went to look at it. It's not there. Sounds like something's off.

[A]

So because it was closed, all the.

[E]

Other ones were open.

[C]

Sounds like a guy who left his backpack in an Uber.

[E]

It definitely was not in the Uber. 100% not in the Uber.

[C]

Did you call the Uber?

[E]

I had. I had it in. I had it in the passenger seat with me. I put out a blog from the Uber.

[C]

Right?

[G]

Yeah, that doesn't.

[E]

It's fun, Mike. It was on my lap, but that's.

[C]

Actually more to my. Like, if you. If you usually put all your bags in the trunk and then this one time you have your backpack in the front seat, I could see it getting out and being like, oh, let me go get my stuff out of the trunk.

[A]

I'm more on the team that you left it in the Uber.

[C]

Now, after you said that, did you call The Uber?

[E]

It's 100. Not in the Uber.

[C]

Why don't you call the Uber?

[E]

I can have Mikey Betts do it. It's not in the 100% cab.

[C]

Mikey bets. Call Uber.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Do you have. Want this to be.

[B]

No, that's a good.

[A]

That's a great first question.

[C]

Sitting first class. I was. I was already in my car by the time he was, you know, around over here. I was. I was literally, like, coming up to my exit and I saw the text.

[A]

But you were in a huge rush the entire time to get to the airport, right, Steve?

[E]

I was the. The in the Uber. The laptop was on my.

[B]

He was. Because we walked in at the same time. The airport. I was on the 455, and I was just content to take it. And he was. He said, I'm going to get on the earlier Flight. So he was.

[C]

That's the discount. Double check in my face.

[B]

He was in a hurry to get on that other flight, and they called him, called his name twice, and it delighted me so much.

[E]

Stephen.

[A]

Che. Yeah.

[C]

Not to. To do the first class debate that we had at barstool again, but I got a question for you, Eddie and Danny. I. We saw. I saw a friend who happened to play in the NFL on my flight. I feel like if you played in the NFL, you got to be first class.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

Well, how long did you play?

[C]

I'll give you one better. He played for a considerable amount of time.

[B]

Okay, all right.

[C]

What about the guy who ran the Department of Transportation not being in first class? Yeah.

[B]

What is that?

[C]

He said, nicky smokes.

[B]

But wait, wait, wait, wait. There's. There's. Okay, what if maybe he didn't book it? What if they booked it a day? There are times where you book too late and there's no first class. Okay, that has to be what happened.

[C]

But Matt Forte is the first class.

[A]

Oh, Mat Forte.

[C]

Yeah. That's a first class guy.

[B]

Forte was leaving on Saturday, decided to leave on Friday. That's why.

[C]

All right, that happens.

[A]

Have to give up their seats.

[C]

Cuz, like, we were talking before we boarded the flight, and it was kind of awkward because I was like, all right, see you, dude.

[A]

It's.

[C]

So I'm going and you're.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

You're saying walking past. I wasn't first class, but walking past Brandon Titus and Mikey Betts and Kyle on first class. Guys, get back to my seat.

[B]

I. I sat one F. And then one B was Mikey Betts. And I considered tweeting it out, but I thought, you know what? People don't really care what we're doing on the flight. But he did so many goddamn things. He watched Mamma Mia. And laughed uncontrollably out loud.

[A]

Mamma mia.

[B]

Mamma mia. And laughing hysterically. When the woman came at the very beginning, you know, they come in the first class, they say, champagne or water? He ordered a mimosa. As they're boarding the plane, he just kept doing things over and over and over. He refused dinner. They said, what do you want for dinner? He said, nothing. The dinner comes out. He looks at my plate and says, is that cake? Then he asked for just a piece of cake.

[C]

That's what he wants.

[A]

Blanket over his lap. The whole time.

[B]

The whole time. Stared at me the whole time. Good guy, Nice guy. We had a good time. Do you all know that Deutsch. Deutsch is here now?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Do y' all know where. Oh, yeah. Do y' all know where Deutsches live in this?

[A]

Oh, yeah, I do.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[G]

Where's he living?

[B]

A hostel. Deutsch is. Well, actually worse.

[C]

With the Mince man.

[B]

And Ben M's apartment.

[C]

No, he's not living there. Mincy's going to Turkey. The boys are going to Turkey tomorrow. I forgot about that.

[B]

Yeah, tomorrow.

[C]

The boys are going to Turkey tomorrow. And Mincy was like, hey, do you want to stay at my house? And Deutsch was like, are you looking for something in return? And Mincy said, no. So Deutsche's like, yeah, I'm staying here.

[B]

Wow. I. Can. I use.

[C]

Yeah, there he is.

[B]

Can I get used to get a full detail?

[C]

Yeah. George, get in here.

[B]

Of Mincy's apartment. Has he already been there?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know, but Deutsche, get in here also. Did you see Deutsch's? His. His moving.

[A]

That killed me.

[C]

He had to hire all these. Move. Move to Chicago is all my stuff.

[B]

Oh, I got a problem. I wanted to run this by you. Doyce is sitting at a desk up there. Doy shouldn't be at a desk.

[A]

It looks weird.

[B]

Can we get him a recliner or something?

[C]

I don't know.

[G]

I think that's.

[C]

That's already so perfect.

[G]

We already had a dark on a couch by himself is where he belongs.

[C]

We already had a conversation this morning. Was like, hey, so have we made any like. Like movement on the. On the brackets? I was like, what do you. What do you mean? You know, the. The brackets where he just puts the beer.

[A]

The beer brackets.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I was like, I. I have to say that hasn't been at the top of my list, but we can.

[B]

That's.

[C]

He was like. I was like, deutsche, why don't you just build it like a field of dreams?

[A]

Yeah, that. And what about Battle Beers?

[C]

Battle Beers? Yeah. Did we lose Battle Beers? You have a job?

[H]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Welcome.

[C]

He also told. Told me Deutsche. He's like, hey, do. Do I get a computer? I was like, yeah, we'll get you a computer. He's like, okay, cool. Because I haven't had a computer in eight years. Eight years he's not had a computer.

[A]

I just like that scene in the Blind side when he sees a bed.

[C]

Yeah. What have you been doing for eight?

[G]

How do you compute?

[H]

I've just been surfing on my phone.

[C]

Yeah, but, like, there are certain things that, like, computer definitely is better than your phone.

[A]

I hope we walk past you with your laptop. Open. Just plain snake.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Snood.

[H]

I was more of a helicopter guy.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

He said he also needed Mavis Be because he never learned how to type your poke. We're going to. We're going to get him to learn how to.

[A]

That's a good series.

[B]

Have you been to Mitzi's apartment yet?

[H]

I have not, but he said he just got it, like, professionally cleaned. Whoa.

[B]

Will you please tomorrow give me a report on. On Mincy's apartment? I just want to know how he lives. Is his bed on it? Off the ground? Is his. Does he have a couch?

[C]

I kind of want. How long is. How long is he. So you moved here. Your apartment's not ready till February 15, which is, what, Sunday?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So you moved here. Not without. Without an apartment. You're like, I'll figure it out. You did figure it out. You're a kinder, gentler. Actually, Mincey deserves a little credit. He's kind of paying back the world for this guy who couch surfs.

[B]

He's doing for somebody else.

[H]

He was super nice about it.

[C]

I kind of want to make you not leave his apartment.

[H]

I'd be up for that.

[A]

Stay there for as long as you can.

[C]

No, no, no. He's. He'll leave when he gets his saying. When he goes to Mince's apartment tomorrow, he doesn't go back outside till Sunday.

[A]

Oh, this is a. I don't think you live. I don't think you survive. This is a master plan by Mintz. You're going to end up, like, fixing up some stuff around the house for him. You're definitely going to owe him a meal.

[C]

Yeah, you're going to have to open his mail and pay his bills. You know, general stuff. He calls you and he's like, hey, can you just pay that bill real quick?

[H]

He picked the wrong guy for that.

[C]

Yeah, because. So he. When he offered to you, he thought you were going to say no, but you said, no right away, right?

[H]

I said, yeah, that'd be great.

[C]

Or you said, yeah, right away. Sorry.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

And he offered, like, two or three times. And I said, yeah, I'm definitely gonna. I'm definitely gonna do that. I don't know where he is. I don't know where he is right now.

[B]

Well, it's a Monday. He doesn't get here on Mondays. Do you. He's there tonight, right?

[H]

I think so.

[B]

So does he have an extra bed?

[H]

I'm gonna probably crash at my buddy Summers one more night.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

And then.

[B]

So you'll never sleep There when mince is there.

[H]

No, damn it, I don't plan on it.

[C]

Are you gonna fucking his bed?

[B]

Yeah, fucking his bed. Dude.

[H]

I'll ask him if it's okay.

[C]

I think you got. I think that's one of those ones. You don't ask for permission. You ask for forgiveness.

[A]

Someone's got a christen it in.

[H]

Do you think he'd care?

[B]

The audacity.

[C]

That would be very funny if he did. I don't know what. What has he ever cared about besides why. It's for a panic. You should hang your swim trunks on his windowsill.

[A]

Yeah, you should.

[H]

I packed some swim trunks.

[A]

What else did you pack?

[H]

A lot of T shirts, underpants, socks, two hoodies, two bathing suits.

[A]

That's everything.

[C]

You moved and you packed like you were going on like a six day trip.

[G]

I packed more to San Francisco.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

Than you packed to move here?

[H]

Yeah. It was a 47 pound checked bag.

[C]

Oh, actually I'm cleaning out my. What size are you, shirt wise? Double xl? Yeah, XL either. Okay. I. I'm cleaning out my office tomorrow. We can get you some. Some gear.

[G]

What about. What about shoes? Deutsch. You have big feet like in your. How many pairs of shoes did you pack in that suitcase? That's always a problem I run into when I. When I travel. I can't take that many pairs of shoes.

[H]

I think I have four pairs of shoes.

[G]

Oh, that's more than I thought.

[H]

One pair fit in my backpack. Wore one pair, so two are in the checked bag.

[G]

Got it.

[A]

Was it sad leaving New Hampshire?

[H]

Not really. It just didn't even. I didn't really think about it until I got here.

[C]

Did you have an apartment? Yeah. So what'd you do with that one?

[H]

I had an apartment. The Lee. I had to redo the lease. I was kind of banking on this happening. Luckily it did. But I just moved in with two of my buddies and they just had an extra room.

[C]

Oh, so you had no lease when you didn't have an apartment?

[H]

It was just like a month. I could have stayed there forever.

[C]

Oh, God.

[H]

But no lease.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

You didn't have any sort of ceremony as you left? You didn't have. Did you go to your favorite bar one more time?

[H]

I went out with my. I went out with coach one more time.

[C]

Yeah, I was gonna say. What was Coach kind of upset? So for people don't know. Deutsch goes out with his high school football coach every week.

[H]

He was. I think he was happy for me.

[C]

Okay.

[H]

But his. One of his best friends just Got the. Got a job at Northwestern.

[B]

Oh, Chip.

[C]

Okay. Oh, Chip Kelly's one of the.

[B]

Chip Kelly.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

That's not. That's not a casual thing.

[B]

Chip.

[C]

Chip Kelly. Okay.

[G]

One of his best friends.

[H]

He has a house in Portsmouth.

[B]

I forgot.

[C]

Yeah. Chip Kelly is from New Hampshire.

[H]

Yeah. There's a group of, like, I thought of.

[C]

Chip Kelly is a very well known guy.

[A]

On a first name basis.

[C]

Chip.

[G]

One of his best friends.

[B]

Chip.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

So how do you.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

So of course you have an in with Chip.

[H]

I don't really have an in with Chip.

[C]

Well, I think so.

[B]

Best friend.

[C]

It's your best friend's best friend.

[B]

You got to go out with. Chip at least wants to see.

[H]

There's not too much of a mix between. I have a relationship with my coach. Chip and my coach have a relationship. There's not too much.

[C]

We gotta. We gotta.

[H]

There's not too much mixing of Me and.

[C]

I went out with Chip Kelly once to like 4am does not trust people of the Internet.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

It was like 3:30. We had been drinking for, I don't know, three, four hours together. And he kept on saying, like, so you blog? And I was like, yeah, dude. But like, we're off the right. Like, we're just hanging right now. And he kept on kind of giving me a side eye. What's that?

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

So I don't know if we're gonna. Might be tough.

[G]

Does that sound like your coach's friendship?

[H]

That sounds like.

[C]

Fuck, man. I'm so happy you're here.

[H]

Oh, thank you so much.

[C]

We got Deutsch.

[H]

Couldn't be more excited.

[C]

I had him on dog walk last week and he went line by line of his job history. Oh, can we hear some of it? Yeah.

[A]

You dropped one in conversation and kind of breezed over it. There's one that I would love to know about.

[C]

Nielsen.

[A]

Nielsen.

[C]

I was like, what, you were a Nielsen watcher?

[H]

Yeah. So you know how they. They say, like, however many hundred million people watch the Super Bowl.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Every year, that's not really accurate. They pick one household to represent, like 50,000 homes right. In each area.

[C]

They're the average household.

[H]

So I went. They picked a random house. And I just had to show up with like a goodie bag and balloons and pretend like they won, like a big sweepstakes. But it was really me trying to convince them to let our techs, like, connect to their television, their computer, all of that, and just monitor, like everything that they do and watch.

[C]

And would you strike out or would you.

[A]

Pretty evil.

[H]

Oh, I Struck out a lot.

[A]

But, like, were. You were telling me there were perks for, like, different types of households.

[H]

Yeah. For, like, different ages and races. They get paid a little bit. They weren't making a ton of money, but you might make between, like, maybe 50 and $150 a month.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

So.

[G]

So what.

[A]

What was, like. What got the most money? What was the.

[H]

I think it was Hispanic.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And you. How long did you do this job?

[H]

Maybe, like, six to eight months.

[C]

Okay. And you just traveled around?

[H]

Yeah, well, I was driving from Portsmouth, and a lot of it was south of Boston. So if nobody's there, you're driving to the same house every day until you find the homeowner.

[C]

So you, like. You would have multiple days of work where you just drove, knocked on a door, no one home. Drove home?

[H]

Yep, just drove home. And then you were in charge of your own, like, gift baskets. And I got, like, all chocolate, and it was in the middle of summer, and all my chocolate baskets were just. I was giving people melted chocolate mess.

[G]

But you were cold call or whatever, knocking.

[H]

I was cold knocking with balloons and, like, a gift basket.

[A]

And so when they opened the door, did you say, like, congratulations? Yeah, I want to take all your data? Yeah.

[H]

So I think people were kind of excited at first. They thought it was, like, Publishers Clearinghouse or something really good. And it was nothing that great.

[G]

And this is going on all over the country. You were just representing the Portsmouth, New Hampshire area, but presumably every. Every market has these people. Yes, that's right.

[H]

I was from, like, New Hampshire down to, like, the Cape, like, south of Boston.

[G]

That's crazy.

[A]

How would you, like, sugarcoat it? Or would you straight up be like, we want your data?

[H]

I mean, you just. I think you just say, we're just gonna monitor. There's not gonna be any specifics. It's just gonna go into a pool. I mean, a lot of people were very skeptical of it right away.

[C]

Yeah, you definitely. I don't know.

[A]

How many deals did you close?

[H]

So if you didn't get the first household you'd start going to, it was either the right or the left. It was less money. The far. Eventually you'd get somebody who just wanted.

[A]

The further you got from the original house was less money for you?

[H]

It was less money for me, and I think it was less money for the household.

[G]

So how did. How do they decide which individual house? It's all based on demographics. It's like, how do. Who decides that? Your bosses?

[H]

I don't know who decides it, but I Just get a list.

[G]

But they would tell you, these are the people we really want.

[H]

We really want these people.

[G]

Yeah. We badly need you to convince these people to let us spy on them.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

And a lot of it would be like an apartment building and an apartment number and you just could not get in. A lot of your time just trying to sneak in or just find a way or somebody.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

It wasn't. The work training was awesome. I was in Tampa for probably like four to six months.

[A]

Four to six months?

[H]

Oh, it was.

[A]

How long's boot camp, Kate?

[F]

It's short of the 13 weeks.

[H]

It was great. It was just a bunch of 25 year old guy. We went out every single night.

[A]

So what do they teach you?

[H]

We did a lot of like the setup stuff too. So that was part of it.

[F]

Okay. So once somebody said yes, you went right through the door and started setting up. Like.

[H]

Or we'd schedule another time.

[F]

Okay.

[G]

You said that people were suspicious of you. Were you ever suspicious of people or was there anyone that was sketchy at the idea of.

[H]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you can go into some questionable neighborhoods, questionable households. Hoarders.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

Dirty people.

[C]

I feel like the Nielsen rating is like a lot of hoarders.

[G]

That feels right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Was this all just a big ruse to get into Mincy's house and get his data? That would be funny.

[H]

Well, I can't wait to get out.

[B]

You should.

[C]

So I came them.

[G]

So the people that say yes to this are just people that badly need money. Why else would you say yes?

[C]

I think it'd be kind of cool.

[B]

Or they.

[G]

You think if. If Deutsch knocked on your door with melted chocolate.

[C]

I know. I just feel like I'm like I'm.

[A]

You're America's household.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you also see what they're searching on the web.

[G]

Yes. They're watching everything.

[H]

Right. Your pornog history. But I think it's people who like, really are down and they need a win. Show up with balloons. And I'm like, you're gonna be part of this. And they just want to be part of something. So that's what you got to kind of hope for.

[C]

Yeah. That was one of like 16 jobs. What's another interesting one you did?

[H]

Lobstered for a while.

[C]

Exterminator.

[H]

Exterminator.

[G]

Lobster.

[B]

Lobster fisherman.

[H]

Lobster fisherman.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

You go out on the boats every day?

[H]

Every day.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

What job were you the best at and what were you the worst at?

[C]

Good question.

[H]

The worst was I had like a sales job and I hated talking to people on the phone. So I just was pretending to make like a hundred dials a day, and if anybody picked up, I just hung up. And I was like, trying to set fake. I was trying to set fake meetings to look like I was doing just enough.

[B]

Mm.

[H]

But it was. Yeah, it was pretty bad.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Base salary was like 30 grand a year.

[C]

And you were getting no commission.

[H]

No commission. A couple of my buddies worked there. We had it. Yeah, it was pretty miserable.

[C]

Yeah. And then what was your. What were you best at?

[H]

I feel like I was pretty good at lobstering.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

How long did you do that for?

[H]

I think I did it for like eight to nine months.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So you're like, most of these are eight to nine months.

[H]

A lot of them are eight to nine months.

[C]

What would happen? You just would get like, do I need to be nervous that, like, next October you're like, well, it's been a good run.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

So we start about nine months in and I'm getting the itch.

[H]

No, I mean, this was always the goal.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

This was always.

[A]

You want the traditional path.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Lobstering like Nielsen's.

[H]

I never would have made, like, drinking videos if it wasn't for the goal of working.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

For this company. Because what else would you do with it?

[C]

Yeah. But before this, like, it was pretty interesting. There was. There was no aspirations. It was just. He worked. This was the only aspiration.

[H]

Yeah. This is what I mean. I just wanted to make enough money to like, keep me going.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. It was just to get here somehow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You did it. Yeah. That's incredible.

[H]

I think I started. I started like, during COVID making the drinking video.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Wow. That's like a. So your dream has, like, you have. It's rare that you see someone who's like, I did my dream. Yeah, You've done it. Yeah.

[A]

So what now?

[C]

Nothing. Nothing.

[H]

No, it's amazing.

[C]

The beer bracket.

[A]

Yeah, you're right.

[G]

Oh, I can't wait.

[H]

I think you guys are really gonna like the beer bracket.

[C]

Yeah. Cuz I. The problem I'm having is like, I don't really understand, like, his shelves. I don't gotta see it.

[H]

I don't think you're seeing it.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think I'm seeing.

[H]

I don't think you're seeing the vision.

[C]

This. Because it's shelves.

[H]

So it'd be 32 shelves on one side.

[C]

Yep.

[H]

Be 32 shelves on the other side shelves. And there'll be whatever we're gonna. Whatever it is. High noon, whatever. They'll be sideways And I'll. With a label maker, I'll print out the teams.

[C]

Right.

[H]

So as teams advance, the losing team, you can drink.

[C]

But what I was saying to you earlier is we need to make sure that we build the bracket in a way that we can take shelves away because, like, we have the World cup bracket coming up.

[H]

That's true.

[C]

We have, you know, college baseball, World Series bracket. We can do a bracket for Wimbledon. Wimbledon. We could do a bracket for, you know, Illinois football, high school playoffs.

[G]

Right.

[C]

We could do a lot of brackets. Like, you should be the bracket guy.

[H]

Yeah. So I'd love to.

[G]

Day one of the NCAA tournament, you're going to drink 16 beers, basically, is the idea. And then day two, you drink 16.

[A]

Or does he have to fill out his bracket via beer before it starts?

[C]

And. And the ones you get wrong are poison.

[H]

That's a good idea.

[C]

Maybe light poison. Like, are you allergic to anything?

[H]

I don't think so.

[C]

I feel like you would have known.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. You've tried a lot of things.

[H]

I have tried a lot of things.

[C]

You're like the anti. Dana.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you going to miss the most about New Hampshire? Is it Hornets nests?

[H]

I think the city that I lived in was kind of like the perfect size. Like 20,000 people. If you go out, you know, like maybe a quarter of the people at the bar. It's a lot of fun in the summer. It's right on. There's a river that separates New Hampshire and Maine, and it's right on the. Right on the water. So it's. It's nice.

[B]

Sounds nice.

[H]

It's beautiful.

[C]

Well, I'm excited for you to be here.

[H]

Couldn't be any happier. Thank you, guys.

[B]

But we need to. We need to know about Missy's apartment.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

I hope that he.

[B]

What's in the fridge? Everything.

[H]

I hope he comes in today so I can figure out.

[B]

He's probably not, but I'll text him. Yeah.

[H]

If he has a key fob or I'm not sure how, if it's a passcode.

[B]

I doubt he has a key.

[A]

He.

[B]

He probably just walked up by the doorman or something.

[H]

Other apps that you can get in that way.

[B]

I. He just seems like somebody to me who leaves his door cracked open so I can get back in at night. Okay.

[C]

Probably leaves the front door of the condo open, too. He's cracking open every door.

[B]

Yeah. Multiple doors.

[C]

Because he loses his keys a lot.

[G]

I feel like he's got a rock that he puts in between them.

[C]

Yeah. We'll have to get some updates.

[H]

Yeah, I'll text him and I'll. I'll let you guys know.

[C]

Yeah, I'm excited.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Okay, Deutsche.

[H]

Thank you, guys.

[C]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Speaking of. Damn, where did this halftime Mincey show rank for. For you? All time. Because I felt like he didn't put his heart into it as much as he has before.

[C]

So for people who missed it, Minty did his halftime show. He did his two songs. You see it?

[G]

I missed this.

[C]

I was so. I don't know why he does two songs only, but he did two songs, and one was if you're going to San Francisco. And the other one was Althea, Grateful Dead tribute. And what I. What I said actually, in the moment was, thank God Bob Weir's dead.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because he did not need to see that. So. And I love Bob Weir. I wish he hadn't passed away, but that's one of those ones that, like, for the first time. It actually probably gave me good closure, being like, I'm happy Bob Weir was not alive to see happening.

[A]

Yeah, that's good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And he also. I don't know if you saw at the end, he. They ran it, like, too long. He tried to, like. I don't know if we can find the clip, but at the end, basically, PFT was doing a solo, crushing it. And I think Mincy was like, this is becoming too much PFT show.

[B]

It's really good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

See?

[C]

And so this is Mincy not singing. Yeah, Just like, man, this is PFT shredding. Yep.

[B]

But it's not the PFT halftime show.

[C]

Correct. So then you get a halftime show where you have the actual main act be like, hey, hold on. It's coming up. You'll see. But who is he saying that behind the camera?

[D]

He's like, hey, this is.

[G]

That's enough for the salon.

[C]

Enough. Pft.

[B]

Come on. Oh, man.

[C]

Yeah. Bad bunny, by the way. Here, let me do a. Let me do an ad real quick, and then we'll. We have maybe a guest joining us in a minute, but. Roback. Roback Activewear. Best fit, best feel. You all know Roback. Best hoodies and joggers in the game. But what you may not know is best pants in the game, too. The Roback Delta pants are incredible. A really great fabric and fit for every day. They have a really nice stretch waistband for when those lbs keep stacking on. Find us pairing Robax fulton vests with these pants to complete the fit. The vest is perfect for the winter months. Has nice zipper pockets and stretch side Panels, so it's still comfortable and easy to move it. Use code yak for 20% off for your first purchase. That's 20% off all pants, joggers, vests, and more. Just use Code yak and head over to R H O B A C K dot com. Do you see Hanks getting canceled right now?

[B]

For what?

[C]

For his take on.

[B]

About time.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Did he.

[A]

Was he pro or anti?

[C]

He was anti. He said that this is making him rethink, like, the entire expansion of football and international audiences.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

And he's. Whoa. Roasted.

[A]

It's a pretty bold claim.

[C]

Well, it's. It has some. It. We've. We've kind of put him in a corner where he. He is pro playing football games all across the world, and we're like, dude, this too much. Like, we don't need a game in Australia. So now he's come to our side because he's like, why was that all in Spanish? But he's getting. He's getting killed online. It's awesome that he woke up and was just. He thought his problem was that the Patriots laid an absolute egg in the Super Bowl. No, his problem is he's canceled.

[B]

That's a one, two punch.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, a one, two punch. Thinking your team's gonna win the Super Bowl. They don't. And also, you're canceled.

[C]

They really. They all thought it was gonna happen.

[A]

Did they really?

[B]

Yes, they did. They knew.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Knew it was gonna happen.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Even though the whole world said the other team's better.

[C]

In every way.

[B]

In every way.

[C]

How was Wake up Barcelona today? Did you.

[B]

He, he.

[C]

Listen, you got squirmed on.

[B]

You can't trust any.

[A]

You got fucking squirmed on.

[B]

You can't trust any of these hoes at barstool, man. I was. I came on, right? First of all, Connor Griffin's dropping a tweet last night of me having a cold take from September. Then Ebo's dropping a cold take, and then Dave is doing his thing, like, you know, man, in the arena and all that. And then he's doing that, and then Gruden comes in and he drops a cold tank from Brandon Walker. It became like, jump on Brandon Walker day. Even though Brandon Walker's team didn't lose the super bowl last night. Nobody wants to jump on Dave. I'm the only person that jumps on Dave in this entire company.

[C]

I did it, too.

[B]

You'll jump on him. You'll jump on him. Yeah. The only three people here in the entire company, though, jump on him. Everybody else jumps off. The first two. Eddie. The first two lines of the Wake up Barstool prep sheet today was Drake May throws for 295 yards. Patriots hold Seahawks to 335 total yards.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

These people bend over backwards to. To let this man walk all over him, and I wasn't gonna do it and whatever.

[A]

You know, if you don't work here, you're fucked, right?

[B]

Yeah. Super fucked.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This is the greatest things ever happened to me in my life. Without it, I'm a poor nobody.

[G]

Right.

[B]

But, God, I hate him.

[C]

I think you also, you. Your strategy of going after Dave back first is you can't go, like, head at him. He'll always squirm out of that.

[B]

But he was doing this whole thing like the man in the arena. The man. He was in a suite.

[C]

Yeah, but the way you got to go after Dave is you got to be like, you got to sarcastic him. I'm shocked he answered my FaceTime, to be honest.

[A]

That was bold of you, Ed.

[C]

I had to. You had to. I had. He called me at nine at night, the night before. He called me the day of, like, I had to. Had to. No choice. That's how confident he was.

[B]

Well, yeah.

[C]

I mean, I spent a lot of time with him last week. He was so confident, talking about the. The what the. Was the weather thing. He kept on talking. The bomb Genesis.

[B]

He was. He walked up to Nick, a Steelers fan, said, your times number. Because the Steelers have six, too, right?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He was saying it was gonna be the greatest thing in sports.

[A]

He walked up, he said that'. You have. Yeah, all I have is six Super Bowls. That's sick.

[C]

Yeah, but he. They weren't. They weren't even close.

[G]

No Bad game.

[C]

They play that game a hundred times. I think it goes that way almost every.

[B]

That's what I said. That was the closest game out of a hundred.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Might have been. He said they would win 46 out of 100 Seahawks. He said, Patriots win 46, Seahawks win 54. Seahawks are a little better.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I hate. I. Yeah.

[C]

No, he was saying when we did Barcelona live, he's like, it should be.

[B]

A pickup, so easiest bet in a while.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Boring super bowl. Boring commercials.

[C]

Well, I think that the problem is that the Seahawks knew how much better they were, and they were like, we're. This is an inevitable win as long as we don't drastically fuck it.

[B]

They played not to fuck up, like.

[C]

As long as there's not a insane, you know, events like a couple Pick sixes. There's just really no way that the Seahawks could lose that.

[B]

They get to the 20 and be like, oh, we're good.

[C]

Yeah, Right.

[G]

What will be the most remembered thing from the Super Bowl? The halftime show being in Spanish.

[C]

I don't. Sam Darnold still.

[B]

I don't think that'll be remembered, because next year, whoever it is, we're just going to complain about that person.

[A]

Right?

[B]

We just complain about every year.

[G]

Yeah. So, like, when people are like, yeah, I was in San Francisco for Super Bowl 60, and then someone's gonna say, was that the one with.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What?

[G]

What are they gonna say? Oh, that's the one.

[B]

That it might be Bad Bunny.

[G]

That's my.

[C]

Yeah, it'd be Sam Darnold, but probably Bad Bonnie. It's. I was saying it today on PMT as well. The halftime show for everyone in this room who watches a lot of football, the halftime show is never for us.

[B]

Yeah. I always. I don't watch it. I just leave and make nachos.

[C]

It's not for me. It's. Yeah, it's not for us.

[F]

There groove in the whole time. I loved it. It was the only part.

[B]

I'm sorry. Could you groove again, please?

[A]

You were grooving like that.

[F]

I was with my mom, friends, and we were all standing there going, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's the only part I watched. I like the grass people running around.

[C]

That's the disconnect.

[A]

I popped at Ricky Martin.

[C]

Yeah, you did.

[F]

Oh, the room screamed. We screamed.

[B]

I had joined. I watched the last five minutes, and I had joined. By the time Ricky Martin popped up and Ricky Martin made me feel good.

[F]

He looks great.

[C]

But it was not. That was not. They don't make the halftime show for people like us who are going to.

[B]

Watch super.

[G]

Being shaken. I mean, that was for me, Jessica.

[A]

There was a lot of Latina ass.

[C]

That was.

[G]

That was definitely for me.

[F]

That was a.

[B]

By the time I got there.

[A]

If only it could have been Metallica with Latina ass.

[F]

I loved it, but couldn't tell who scored a td.

[B]

Make Latina ass a staple of all future halftime shows, no matter who.

[A]

That's pretty.

[G]

I think that's fine. That's a fair compromise.

[B]

Yeah. By the time I got there, the ass was gone. It was nothing but trees, and the.

[A]

Ass was almost everywhere.

[B]

There was no ass when I got there, all the ass had been spoken for.

[G]

The grass just didn't move.

[F]

I kept waiting for the grass people to run around to do something crazy.

[G]

But they didn't that was funny. That was actually kind of funny because we all saw them setting up. See their little face, you know, they're people and then they just never move.

[A]

Did you guys keep your TV on after the Super Bowl? It went. Went right into Lindsey Vaughn's.

[G]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was so weirdly edited too, because her crash and then being helicoptered out was like two minutes. It was like two minutes after she crashed. So if you weren't privy to like, they obviously cut this up.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

You just would have assumed that, like, she just crashed and they immediately just come rushing. Get her the fuck up, get her.

[A]

Out of there, put her in a bag and let's fly off this mountain.

[B]

Helicopter's already inbound when she starts.

[C]

I feel bad for Lindsey Vaughn, but I also. She crashes all the time.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

It feels like every time she's crashing.

[A]

Maybe you're just probably watching her more than anybody.

[C]

No, I just think that every crash is a lot. I don't know. That's how I know that the skiing is happening. Is Lindsey Vaughn gets crashed.

[A]

Gets. Isn't she like the best? No, no, she's not the best.

[C]

No.

[G]

The ballsiest and the hottest.

[A]

It's okay.

[G]

Hottest.

[C]

We don't. We're not good at skiing. So. She win one goal.

[B]

Wait, I think we're.

[C]

That's it. Yeah.

[G]

We won. We won that different.

[C]

Yeah. But overall, like, historically, we're not very good at skiing, are we?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

This is the goat.

[C]

She won one gold medal, I think. Dude, I thought she was the goat too. No, she's, she's, she's good.

[B]

She's hot.

[C]

But I think it's because an American winning a gold medal in that event is like, that's a big deal.

[A]

She's a big deal because she does every discipline.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

One of six women who have won World cup races in all five disciplines of alpine skiing.

[C]

But she's only won one gold medal.

[G]

We did have an American Olympics.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

Woman win the gold medal.

[C]

Yeah. This year.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

She got completely cucked by Lindsey Vaughn crashing again.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

It also is just very dramatic. Like I. Is she okay?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because it. The helicopter thing, like, I think that's just a. How else are you gonna get down?

[A]

But like, they don't even have enough time to put her in the helicopter. They have to attach her to the bottom.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Just take you down. That's horrifying.

[B]

Imagine that they aired that on TV 13 hours after it happened.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

We'd all see. Yeah, I know. Olympics has the.

[C]

No, the Olympics need to figure out a way to just always be in our time zones.

[G]

I agree with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's. Who's the guy who did.

[A]

Oh, I'm talking about the backflipping figure skater.

[C]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[B]

I thought they couldn't back.

[A]

I don't think it gets you any points. He just does it.

[G]

You're talking about the helicopter.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, what happened there?

[C]

The one where the just kept looping. She was going on.

[F]

Yeah. That's very.

[C]

Ever seen that?

[A]

Yes. Was that like a sea rescue? Maybe.

[C]

I don't know. Maybe. I think it's a mountain rescue torture chamber. Yeah.

[F]

See the Italian Minions guy?

[C]

No.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

I guess he had his whole routine set. He was dressed like a minion set to the Minions. Going for an Olympic gold.

[C]

She said for what?

[F]

To dance like a minion on the ice. And then Universal was like, you can't use our Minions music. But then the Internet went crazy and he got the rights to the Minions.

[C]

Oh, good for him.

[F]

Kind of sports I like Winter Olympics.

[C]

Is a very unserious Olympics.

[F]

Everybody's been going crazy for the hurt. The curling.

[G]

What's the. What's the disconnect? Because every single Winter Olympic sport can kill you and can kill you very violently.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I don't think curling can kill you.

[C]

Okay. Curl.

[G]

It was a nice.

[C]

Well, actually.

[A]

I don't actually, Titus, you're.

[B]

I don't know. The curling can kill you.

[F]

People are very into ice skating.

[C]

You're right.

[F]

So you guys just live in your little football bubble. You don't see the rest of us out here.

[B]

You're gonna. You guys. Us now.

[F]

Yeah. You're all in it.

[B]

You're trying to be on Titus's team.

[C]

But I hate Olympic sports where there's judges.

[G]

I want to race well to that point. Like, luge.

[B]

Kill you in a heartbeat.

[G]

Will kill you.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

It comes down to, like, milliseconds. Boring as.

[C]

Yes.

[G]

Why.

[F]

Why are they.

[G]

Why is it boring as. Why is that not like the most.

[A]

Exhilarating 80 miles an hour?

[B]

I don't think you can get a good shot of it.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

It goes from shot to shot, and you can't get a one long, good, continuous shot of it.

[C]

I like speed skating. That one's cool.

[A]

Short track.

[C]

Short track.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

This year they're doing a lot with first person drones footage where they're, like, following with a first person drone on the skeleton track. They're doing it on, like, the downhill skiing. That was cool on the ski. I think that might be a path towards Making these sports seem as cool as they are.

[B]

Would luge be more exciting if it were a race and there were 10 of them side by side?

[G]

Great point.

[C]

As opposed to time also, to answer your question, Titus, I think some of the disconnect in Winter Olympics. I want to say this without pissing anyone off. I don't care if I piss anyone off. Cuz who the am I going to piss off? Lion skeleton. There's just no way those are the best in the world at it.

[A]

They're the guys that did it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like when we watch Usain Bolt run, you're like, that is the fastest guy in the world. There is no one faster than him. When I watch someone get on a skeleton and go down a hill, it's like, well, that guy just decided when he was like 14 to play the sport that no one else was going to play.

[G]

That's true.

[B]

Smart, though.

[A]

I think every person that is competing in skeleton, their dad competed in skeleton. Yeah, it's all generational.

[C]

The skiing different because people ski and all that. But like, there are certain. Like curling. Same thing. Like, are. Are those the best curlers? I don't know. They're the ones who decide to do a boring ass sport. Do you care about the Olympics? I care about the Summer Olympics.

[B]

Summer's better.

[C]

And I care about hockey in this Olympics.

[B]

Why haven't they started playing yet? 4 days in out there. I want them to play hockey.

[C]

Yeah, but. Yeah, I don't. Don't you wish you cared more?

[B]

I.

[C]

Summer. I'm all for winter. I just. Yeah, it's. It's hockey and that's about it. I'm trying to think ski jumping is cool to look at.

[B]

There have been times in my life I got into the ice skating.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Like Nancy Kerrigan. Yeah.

[F]

Dick Button.

[B]

Yeah, Not Dick Button, though.

[C]

Johnny Ware Levinsky. Yeah.

[F]

I was obsessed with her Dick Button the time.

[C]

The judges rigged it every time. No, do you remember there was actually like a controversy? Like the French judge got paid off.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I figured. Oksana Bay.

[C]

What other. What other sports are we missing? I know. There's the one where they ski and then shoot something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Biathlon.

[C]

What's the biathlon?

[A]

That's that.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

There's also some other skiing, cross country. There's alpine mountaineering this year, which is a new one. Is that just walking? They run up a mountain and then they put on skis at the top of the mountain and then downhill race.

[G]

What about that one where their knees are like hitting.

[B]

Hardcore solemn. Is the gates. Right.

[A]

You big cat. You should watch snowboard cross.

[C]

I. I'm good.

[A]

That's four people. Snowboarding, racing.

[C]

Oh, I've seen that.

[B]

Racing's better.

[C]

That's kind of cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

They got like snowmobile racing. That would be sick.

[B]

That would be snowmobiles.

[C]

Ice fishing would be cool.

[G]

Ice fishing?

[A]

Nuh.

[B]

I'm going ice fishing Saturday.

[A]

With who?

[B]

New friend. I'm not because I don't use name.

[A]

Where'd you meet him?

[B]

Antioch. I'm not. I'm not telling you his name.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

It's gonna be warm.

[A]

But where were you to meet somebody?

[B]

I think we need to be warm for like a while.

[C]

It's gonna be warm for a while.

[B]

But not by Saturday. So I think. I think we'll still be frozen Saturday.

[C]

Meet him on an app.

[B]

I'm going to an ice fishing derby. No, I didn't mean.

[F]

I almost sent it to you. It's in Antioch. Yeah, it's the little town festival.

[B]

Correct. I'm going to the ice fish.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

You've seen the weather though, with my friend.

[C]

Have you guys seen the weather? No. I read some numbers to you.

[B]

Name? Scott.

[C]

42.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

36.

[B]

37.

[C]

43. 43. 40. 44. 50.

[B]

Yeah, that's next Monday.

[C]

48.

[A]

It's a little warm.

[B]

It's gonna be great.

[A]

That's pretty consistent.

[B]

Phenomenal week.

[C]

37. Ish.

[B]

Eddie, it's not gonna unfreeze by Saturday.

[C]

They might postpone it by Saturday. Yeah, I've been to ones in like, northern Wisconsin. They'll like, pull the plug on that.

[B]

It's still. It's still freezing half the day though.

[C]

Yeah, but they put. It's a miracle how much that can hold. I put like semi trucks.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Do we have our guest?

[B]

Oh, man, Nick, that's a sad face.

[C]

Hey, dude.

[D]

What's going on, guys?

[C]

What. What time was your flight this morning?

[D]

I left last night at 12:55.

[C]

Oh, you had a red eye.

[D]

Yeah, well, I was originally 7am and then I was very defeated. And when we were on the bus, I switched and I wanted to just get the out of there.

[C]

That was smart. What. How you. How you doing?

[D]

I mean, what can you do? Like Brandon said, you can't be upset. They were the better team. I love that team. But our offensive line was dog. Will Campbell couldn't block a feather. Morgan Moses, I think, couldn't block a feather either. And he's a veteran, actually.

[C]

I mean, kind of a sneaky thing to block.

[A]

That'll be.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's hard to drop the feather like trying to block it.

[D]

You're right.

[B]

But if you get your hands on it, it's over.

[C]

Yeah, true. Do you think Drake. Drake didn't play well either.

[D]

I mean, considering he only had about 0.7 seconds in the pocket every snap.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I can't imagine how you could play good. But the one thing I will say that I said to Dave too was. And he's young, obviously, year two. But I don't understand why when he, he climbs the pocket and he has good pocket awareness, but he always, when he takes the sack, he, he's like debating on taking the sack or running. Just run. You're a good athlete. Like he, he kind of runs into the sack every time. Like when he's deciding to rather go evade or. I don't know, it's.

[B]

Does it suck? Does it suck that that's probably it for him though? Like he makes it in year two, he'll probably never make it again.

[D]

No, I. I think there's a very bright future. I mean a 23 year old quarterback and what is variable? 50, 55, 50. I mean I. He's gonna be around for a while, Brandon. I mean look at what we did in one, barely one full year.

[B]

It was such a bad.

[A]

No, but they'll be back. And good quarterbacks like that always come back. Like Burrow or Rogers or Cam Newton.

[B]

They'll be back.

[A]

Marino, they'll be back.

[D]

I'm not worried. We just need to spend some of that 60 million that craft sitting on and get some online help. Get some. We need a real number one receiver. Diggs was quiet last night. Obviously couldn't get the ball off. But look. Drake set a Super bowl record 200 plus yards in the fourth quarter.

[B]

Oh boy.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Who is the MVP on the bus? Yeah, who's the MVP? Yeah, tell us about the bus. Yeah.

[D]

That'S a good one.

[C]

Probably Hog yeah's the man.

[D]

He's always positive. Like even. Even in the gloom this hours, it's like he's just talking stats and then talking advanced stats and talking about what we can target for next year. And then we gone to pitchers and catchers and that was at the end of the night.

[C]

But yeah, Hogdale. I feel like I, I know he lives in Iowa, but if he wants to move here, he's. He. He's a good vibe.

[A]

Yeah, he is.

[D]

Hogg is the best.

[A]

Yeah. Now, did anybody booze too much?

[D]

There were some people.

[B]

I'll just, I'll just. You're not gonna say it because Dave said it this morning. I'll wake up barstool if you're protecting people.

[D]

I'm not protecting people. I love Jerry. Jerry's my.

[C]

Gordon. Yeah.

[D]

Hey, old balls. You know, he. It was. It was like back in the days when you guys had those old school parties. Big cat with the.

[C]

He.

[D]

He started telling me that during the game yesterday, actually, when the girls walked around with their painted nipples.

[B]

What.

[D]

He got into those.

[B]

What?

[D]

Those stories last night.

[C]

What party was that?

[A]

The Painted Nipple party.

[D]

The parties in Boston.

[B]

The old school ones.

[C]

There was one that we did that was like the Christmas party in, like, 2013. That was a mess. But I don't.

[B]

I.

[C]

Probably way before that.

[B]

Well, they're painted nipples.

[C]

Yeah, I don't. I wasn't.

[A]

That doesn't sound like something you forget.

[C]

No, I don't. I don't remember Painted nipples.

[D]

Yeah, I'm not sure, but Jerry was. Jerry was on one, and I. I was very happy for him.

[C]

I was so jealous. Dana, text me. He's like, thornton's buckled. I'm like, I'm so jealous of you.

[B]

Beers?

[D]

Whiskey?

[C]

Solely. There was a report that you were crying on the bus ride home.

[D]

I, Well, I cry. I was tearing up a little bit when we first got there, just because, like, I'd never taken in something like that.

[C]

Right. But on the way home.

[D]

No, I was just very depressed. On the way home. The guy kind of just had my hand in my head leaning against the window like that. And that's when we're all talking about.

[C]

The game because I, I, when my.

[D]

Voice was very gone, it sounded like.

[C]

That when Dave said, my visual just was like, you, like, on a full bus and just sobbing uncontrollably and people being like, fasoli, you got to stop crying and like, you know, heavy breathing, sucking for air.

[D]

Yeah, no, there was definitely heavy breathing, probably. I mean, I always. Heavy breathe. You guys know that.

[C]

What? It was there a point after the game where you're like, man, I wish I wasn't in full pads.

[D]

The pads came off before. Not the uppers. The. The pants came off before we left the suite because. Dragged my shorts down the whole time, and it was.

[A]

You didn't jump in the snow this time?

[D]

There was no snow to be jumped in, sadly. But no, the uppers. I actually kind of enjoyed wearing them. I, I, I love the. I love the shoulder hits. And everyone was doing it pregame, mid game. And then as the quarter started ticking along, that kind of stopped. But I love that. That's brings you back.

[C]

Did you. Did you get a in game hug with Dave? Because we talked about it a lot, and then they didn't score for so long.

[B]

Nothing to hug about.

[D]

Well, we hugged. We got the first one right off the jump.

[C]

And what was that one?

[A]

The first one off the jump. Oh, the first hug.

[D]

The first hug.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

It's great angle. What. What. What was that? No, but I'm saying that wasn't in game. That was you just getting to the suite, right?

[D]

It was just a. There was more. A lot of more high fiving. Because there was a lot. A decent amount of people in the suite. And so there was. It was hard to get down to him. Essentially. He was down there with. I forget the guy's name, but. And his family was down there with him to the friend. So, like, it was hard to kind of maneuver that way.

[C]

What now? I assume Dave. Did Dave say anything after? Because this is the tough part. Like when we went to the Cubs game five in Milwaukee and the Cubs lost. I said to everyone on the bus after, I was like, look, this sucks, but. But the next time we're in this spot, everyone here, we're going again. Did he have any. Did he have any speech like that? Because that was a lot of money that Dave paid for the.

[D]

I know it was. I. I've. I've tried to make that very. I thanked him probably 9,000 times yesterday, but someone's, I think, won said it. And it was on the bus on the ride home, and he was like, all right, well, I guess we're gonna have to run it back next year. And Dave was like, no, you guys are a jinx now.

[C]

Oh, no.

[G]

Oh.

[C]

Because I was worried that, like, that was a situation where you. It goes poorly. And he's like, I'm not doing this again. Oh, no.

[D]

Jerry's actually calling me right now.

[C]

Jerry Thornton.

[D]

Thornton. I don't know if I. I don't think these can do happen at the same time. Don't tell him about the titties.

[C]

All right? Pick up and then call and then zoom back and tell us what you guys talked about.

[D]

Okay, bye.

[F]

I was living for all the celebrity interactions everyone was having.

[C]

Dude, they were just boys with Jon Hamm.

[F]

I know. Seemed like they were good buddies.

[A]

I. I hope Dante talked to Gavin Newsom.

[C]

He. Hank said he turtled.

[G]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Which would make sense at the Super Bowl. A suite. And you're just like, show up to the super bowl. And then the guy next to your suite's like, hey, I Want to give you a piece of my mind. That probably is not the way to do it. So did Jon Hamm take a picture of Pat when Pat wasn't looking?

[F]

Yes, it looks like.

[C]

That's amazing.

[A]

He caught Pat taking a piss.

[C]

Wait, was Pat taking a picture of Jon Hamm there?

[F]

No, it was John Ham was taking a picture of him looking sad.

[C]

Oh, that's awesome.

[F]

Them I like. I think it was Wonton. Don had a tweet that was like, what a world. I'm in the same suite as Hogdale and Kendall Jenner.

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

Like what are the odds that would happen?

[C]

Yeah. I was afraid that they were going to get the jinx on them. Dave. Like that's a lot of money.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He.

[A]

Dave also put down a $42,000 bet for his team.

[C]

I know I screwed him over and.

[A]

We were all going to get 7K.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Coach.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

Do you think Dave fell into Goodell's trap? He unbanned him because he knew.

[C]

You think if the Patriots were favorites.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Kept them banned.

[G]

Goodell knew what was coming and was like, yeah, Dave, I'll unban you.

[B]

Come on in.

[G]

Come on. Yeah.

[C]

Because they really didn't have anything to celebrate.

[B]

Never. They had five straight.

[C]

Three Matt Collins. No, the Matt Collins touchdown. And then forcing a punt. I texted you in that moment.

[B]

I was like, this can't happen at 19 7. They're at midfield. You're thinking, okay, well. And then he throws the wor you'll ever see.

[C]

Yeah. I was like. Because. Because it did get to that point where the Seahawks were so dominant that it got to that point where it's like if the Patriots win this one, Dave is just. He is. He's God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That would have been the only explanation.

[C]

Yeah. Because it's just like how could this happen, man? Por Fasoli. I'd like to choose to believe that he was uncontrollable.

[A]

I think.

[B]

I think he was about to cry there.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Sobbing. Credit to him.

[B]

I like to think when he cries he. He takes his pants off and lays down in snow face first.

[A]

Just sobs.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Hank too. Hank gets a lot of for clamming up when his teams lose. He pmt took. We asked him a lot of questions. Did a mock press conference. Not appreciate.

[B]

Did he answer everything?

[C]

He answered them all right.

[G]

On the chin. Huh.

[C]

Including Zach right off the bat. Just asking if he thought Josh Jobs would have given him a better chance.

[B]

To win the game.

[A]

They are also optimistic that they'll be back. But I. That's it's really hard to do.

[C]

Really hard to do. Really hard to do.

[G]

Man.

[A]

Shame.

[C]

Yeah. Games where you can't cheer. Sucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I always think about the. The party at rebel in, like 2012 or 13 when the pairs lost like 50 to 7y and we scored in like the fourth quarter. That was horrible. And it was just like, yeah, good job, guys. Just never get any juice going.

[A]

If it's a blowout and you're in a suite, you have to stay, right?

[C]

Yeah. Well, I think they can leave. Dave.

[A]

You can't leave in front of Dave.

[C]

Well, no, I think they also had, like, once they went through 28 to 3, they can't leave no matter what. You know what I mean? Because what if you leave and then that happens? Happens.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's an all time.

[A]

You're done forever, Stephen.

[C]

By the way, I. I procured some footage of you biting Danny Conrad.

[A]

Oh, do you want to see the mark?

[C]

Yeah, let me do an ad.

[A]

And then.

[C]

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[B]

Look at my arm.

[C]

Like, wait, let me see. I don't.

[A]

Camera's not helping you, buddy.

[C]

The bruise.

[F]

I can see the bruise. You can see it from over here.

[C]

I don't see anything.

[B]

Okay, we'll get in. Oh, well, let's see some discoloration.

[A]

Yellow discoloration. But this is from days.

[C]

Is that why his girlfriend's here?

[B]

So you just leave. Chay left that mark, that yellow mark. Is that why your jaguar bite? Yeah.

[A]

Your girlfriend's kiss it to make it better?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Heal your boo boos.

[C]

Look at this. Wait, video. Look at the video.

[F]

Got it. He's got it.

[B]

Yeah, you are ch.

[C]

Just tap. I'M biting him.

[A]

All right, I'm letting Steven whisper.

[D]

Let me up.

[C]

I'll do that.

[E]

No, I said I'm.

[A]

Oh, you guys are waste. Yeah, I was th.

[B]

Gay as hell. Oh, the Stepo.

[A]

Oh, Danny. Oh, you deserve.

[B]

No, this is.

[F]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[G]

Oh, boys on the street. Like, wait, that's.

[A]

That's actual anger.

[F]

I don't remember.

[G]

That's the case.

[B]

That's the gayest video I've ever seen.

[G]

All right, Danny, bend over.

[C]

What's going on there?

[A]

I'm going to you now.

[E]

We. In my mind. So, Danny, don't disagree with this, but in my mind, we had a truce because we just shaken hands and said truce, and you went and tried to choke out.

[B]

Y' all still have beef?

[E]

No, I thought it was. I thought it was fine. After we shook hands, we hung out.

[A]

After I have beef with Danny.

[B]

Why?

[A]

You sent me a picture of your today.

[B]

What?

[A]

It was supposed to be while we were in San Fran, but you never responded to my text. Of course not. He text me, have your shit's been long here. And I didn't answer that. And so he. I saw him today in the store. Was like, you didn't answer my text. I was like, my bad. It sounds odd. No context, but weren't those insanely long? It went into the hole of the toilet and broke the water line, so. Yeah, but I don't tune out, Jackie. I don't know why I'm the guy. Because we. We were talking before that, and now you made it unnatural by not responding to the text. Of course I'm not going to respond to that ever. Even after I put the exclamation over it. I didn't know you bumped it like that.

[C]

Solely's back on after his talk with Jerry Thornton. How'd that go?

[D]

It was good. And by the way, Danny, super long ones in San Fran, Right?

[A]

Thank you. Why were they so long?

[D]

I don't know. It's crazy. But Jerry. Jerry's at the airport. He is. He said he felt terrible because he needs to get back to the blog, and he's working on the knee jerk right now, but he. We. We spent like, two minutes talking about the. All the past pros because we both watched the same Will Campbell video, and he was just. He didn't really bring up last night other than, like, how. How I'm feeling, how he's feeling about next year.

[C]

Wait, why did he call you?

[D]

Oh, so he.

[A]

He.

[D]

I. I answered the phone call, and I was like, jerry, Jerry. And then got nothing. Hung up Called him again. And he goes, hey, what's going on? You okay? And I told him last night when we were in the hotel elevator, like going up together that I changed my flight. I don't think he recalled. And then he goes, was, oh, I thought you called me. And I. I was like, no, you just called me.

[B]

Oh, I was going to say him calling to say you okay the next day means you cried a lot.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, did you and Danny share any meals together?

[D]

Did we, Danny?

[A]

I don't think so, no.

[D]

No, I don't think we had one this week.

[C]

I love that Jerry Thor was in the mix. I got to see him for like 2 seconds, cuz I was leaving as he was arriving. And I wish I had been able to hang out with him. He is. He's. He's like as OG as barstool can get.

[A]

The picture of them on the bus on the way there and he was just. He did the Black Panther fist for some reason in the back. I haven't screenshotted. He's really made me choke.

[B]

That's the first time I ever met him.

[C]

He was. He was giving Gruden the business. Yeah, he was awesome.

[D]

I think half the tech room hates me because the last day on the rundown was my favorite rundown all week. And we just went for. I said we were going to do 15, 20 minutes. I think it might have been 43.

[C]

It was you, Hogdale and Jerry Thornton.

[A]

It might have been 43.

[C]

And Dante. Oh, it was Dante, Hogdale and. Yeah.

[B]

And they were trying to break down the. The studio and everything.

[D]

Yeah, it was my dream. Blunt rotation, man.

[C]

All right, So, I mean, hey, at least you got to experience it.

[D]

Yeah, it was unbelievable. And I legitimately could not thank Dave enough. I mean, growing up, I only went to preseason game because was too expensive. And I would have never imagined that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you get a follow back back?

[D]

I don't think so.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Dave doesn't follow you?

[D]

No, it's okay. We'll get there.

[C]

Look at him. Wait, I want to see him in the suite. Full pack.

[D]

We'll get there someday.

[A]

End of the game.

[C]

No, he said get a follow back.

[A]

From Dave on Twitter.

[B]

Maybe if we win.

[D]

Yeah, he didn't say that.

[C]

Well, he just saw that would make.

[B]

My world more too.

[C]

The food looks crazy. That. That video of the pathetic Titans. Dana over the burger.

[A]

Oh, my God, that 200 burger.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, the bone marrow was crazy. They had that like right off the cuff. And then every. Everyone was like dying for chicken tenders and they didn't bring them until, like, the third quarter.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Rageous. Dude, I'm sorry.

[B]

Ah, damn it. You okay?

[C]

You guys got there really early, huh?

[B]

Huh?

[D]

Yeah, that was. That was like, probably another reason we're all, like. All the. Like, those clips came out because we just had. We got there with three hours and, like, 17 minutes before the game started.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Did a Kid Rock play any your favorite songs?

[D]

I. I'm taking the fifth on this one. I. I can't.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

You following Hank down that road?

[C]

Yeah. Smart. All right, Fasoli, cheer up. We love you guys.

[D]

Appreciate you. One love.

[C]

One love.

[D]

Bye, Brandon.

[A]

There's no bigger soft spot in my heart than for Fasoli. I love that boy.

[C]

He really is.

[F]

He has long poops, too.

[C]

So what is this exactly?

[A]

So this is a slow smoke, slow.

[C]

Braised beef shake, Right? So we're calling it the Super Bowl 60 burger. Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Homemade bread, blue cheese sauce. That is the fat. I love. I love this, though, because this is just when I think of America, I think of this when. When we have the super bowl, it's like, all right, chef, we need a special item. Okay. What if we just make the biggest burger ever?

[A]

Look at Dana. Vulture Stadium today.

[B]

First time for everything. Dana, right?

[G]

What if Dana's like, I've actually had one of those. I'm going to go have a plum. I've had that before, actually.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

This is nothing to me.

[C]

Plum. There he is.

[B]

Pathetic.

[C]

Titans.

[A]

They only made 200 of them or something.

[G]

Is that. That's a one person.

[A]

Wait.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's the only person by that giant burner.

[B]

I thought.

[F]

I thought it was to share.

[G]

I did, too.

[A]

Oh, that's crazy. It's just him.

[C]

Also, shout out pft. Good guy move. So Hank had to. We knew he was going to zoom in after the game, so it was going to be impossible for him to get back to San Francisco. So we got him a hotel in Santa Clara to zoom in. PFT booked him the hotel the Patriots were going to have their championship party at.

[B]

Oh, that'd be cool to see.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Amazing.

[C]

Really nice. Very nice. It was at that same hotel.

[B]

Wow.

[G]

So PFT had a lot of money on the patriots.

[C]

He had $40,000.

[A]

He has to be devastated.

[C]

Devastated.

[G]

Torn up over.

[C]

Devastated.

[G]

Man, oh, man.

[C]

Why was he biting you?

[A]

To get out of the headlock.

[B]

That whole thing's weird.

[C]

Very weird.

[B]

Probably asked fewer questions.

[C]

That's a. That's a. Like, hey, guys, just go ahead and. Yeah, there's a lot of pat.

[B]

Y' all weren't struggling. You were just kind of sitting there wrapped around each other.

[A]

I wasn't struggling. I was on the off.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. You were just kind of enjoying it. Then he bit you.

[G]

He bit you over like he's done it before.

[A]

Well, he said, I'm going to bite you.

[C]

Yeah, I'm a jaguar. Danny needed mustard.

[A]

He needed mustard for the forearm.

[C]

That was it.

[A]

Che, how did your kids react to.

[C]

Your hair or to seeing their dad? Was it like a military out of a box.

[B]

Bag?

[H]

What?

[E]

Kids love the hair, so that's exciting. Yeah. My son's getting like. He had missing his two front teeth. One of his teeth is already growing back. Things are. Things are changed.

[A]

Things have changed.

[C]

He comes back. Things have changed around here, dad. The man of the house now. I was. I had a good weekend with my kids. We went to the auto show. The Fanny Woodhead's on display, which is hilarious. And then I texted you guys and I tweeted it, but 5 year old birthday party yesterday. Walk in. Ollie is doing it with his snakes. The one and so perfect.

[A]

Were tarantulas there?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[E]

How was.

[A]

How was his show?

[C]

He so good. Yeah, I knew too. Like my wife said, I was like, what time's a party? She sent me the invite. It was like reptiles. I was like, there's a 99% chance this is Ollie.

[A]

Not a very competitive market.

[C]

So he walked in, he's like showing the kids the snakes. He sees me, he's like, oh, what's up, dude? I was like, what's up, man? Told me he's got some new 10 foot pythons so he's ready to come back.

[A]

Yeah, we're going to check that out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But it was very funny. Like I was just sitting there watching it and being like, this is a little bit of a different show than when we tried to choke Kyle out with constrictors and had a tarantula crawl on Stephen Shay's face.

[B]

All right, so let's just talk about that now. Level of concern for Kyle.

[C]

Oh, yeah, Kyle's not here.

[B]

He's not here. He said he's, you know, but. But he should just take a week off and rest that.

[A]

I think we convinced him to take a little rest.

[B]

Good.

[C]

He needs a little worried. I'm definitely a little worried.

[A]

I think he's just getting frustrated.

[B]

By Friday it was. He was. That voice was in tough shape.

[A]

I know he had a scary, like lost his breath in the gym. Like something happened where it felt like he couldn't breathe. I don't know.

[F]

Has he had an official follow up with his doctor? I feel like he needs.

[B]

Do I need a doctor?

[A]

Change his number.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Should we look into this doctor for him?

[F]

Maybe.

[A]

I'm a little worried.

[B]

Yeah, somebody. Let's send somebody else to get the same procedure.

[G]

It hasn't really get. Gotten better, has it?

[B]

No. And it's been. It's.

[G]

We've said it's gotten three or four weeks. Gotten better.

[F]

It.

[B]

Like we told him it's gotten better, but.

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

He's not a complainer. But like you said before the show, he would never say it, but I feel like he's been in a little bit of pain.

[A]

You could tell at dinner. So we went to dinner and it was loud.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he tried to talk and then he just got real. You couldn't hear him. Yeah, he got real disheartened and he.

[B]

Got frustrated and he wanted to leave.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, he did.

[B]

But then the cream came.

[A]

Then the cream came. He was playing around. Just don't talk for a while.

[B]

Kyle works wonders. He just needs to. I. I think he just needs to take the whole week. Just rest the rest of that voice.

[A]

Yeah. Be for the best. Poor guy. Maybe we can get him, like the Hawkings thing. Don't take burping for granted, man.

[C]

No. Every time you burp, think of Kyle.

[B]

Is the. Is the. Is the payoff of birth burping worth giving everything else up for?

[A]

I think if his stomach is, like, building up and he's just in pain until he farts.

[C]

He also. I mean, we all. It was also a long week, you know?

[B]

Yeah, it was.

[C]

Drinking and staying up late will hurt the voice. My voice was going a little on Friday.

[B]

So when. How long will it be before Ian Cobble comes to Chicago?

[C]

We already have it set.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Nice. Early March.

[B]

Good.

[C]

I was texting with him on Saturday and he. We're gonna have him come. He's. He already was coming. And I was like, we'll do everything.

[G]

Has chef Donnie been made aware of Ian Cobbler, which is to say, has Chef Donnie realized there's competition of the year?

[C]

I don't know. But I did see chef Donnie today. I want to say on the record, Chef Donnie should have been there for flag football. Yes, I said that to him. He got so mad.

[B]

Should have been there for something.

[C]

And he is going to be giving us due science tomorrow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tomorrow's new science.

[C]

Tomorrow's due science. He said he's not started it yet.

[B]

That's perfect.

[C]

And I was like, are you gonna be ready? He's like, well, I have all day. I'm like, are you gonna use today? He's like, maybe not science tomorrow.

[B]

He drafted me to come over. He's making shrimp scampi right now, and he wanted me to come over and judge it, but he hasn't texted me yet.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

I know.

[F]

Working on it.

[A]

We gotta get him a sponsorship.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I met the ladies for the mats. The. The.

[A]

Oh, they sent in a big box.

[B]

Yeah. What's our boxes?

[C]

I met her and she was just like, thanks so much. And I was like, his start is a joke.

[A]

Did we get some mats?

[C]

Yeah, I think I got a mat for Stella.

[A]

Were they happy with Donnie's presentation of it? Is it accurate?

[C]

I didn't get to that part with them.

[B]

Look how tired.

[A]

They said a bunch of stuff. One of the things that they said was, you don't need to be naked to get the effect.

[C]

Let's not tell Donnie robes if he wants.

[B]

I don't think he would believe that.

[A]

No, he wouldn't say no to the people.

[C]

That's the best science.

[B]

He would disagree.

[C]

I mean, they told Michelangelo he couldn't fly. Yeah, we know. Was he? Leonardo go.

[G]

Yeah. Cowabunga.

[A]

Cowabunga. Dude who tried to fly, right?

[C]

No. Didn't Leonardo try to.

[A]

I think. I think Michelangelo had a flying machine.

[C]

Yeah, he had a flying machine. Well, they were actually right on that one.

[A]

Yeah, he couldn't.

[C]

Yeah, he didn't.

[A]

Buddy, chill. Got some time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[C]

So I was wrong on that.

[A]

Who knows?

[C]

Who's to say?

[B]

You're in.

[A]

Donnie's clip was really funny. From the new. Doing the most. Oh, thank you.

[C]

With Gruden. Yeah.

[A]

When he was going to spell your name.

[C]

Name.

[A]

Oh, Donnie was tattooing my leg and he started with. Yeah, he started smelling. I didn't know what he was doing. Writing on my leg. But those are not the first two letters you want to see when somebody's tattooing you.

[C]

Yeah, that was a great video. In the Gruden in the bathroom.

[A]

He had no idea. Jake Malasek didn't prep him on anything that this whole thing was about, so.

[C]

Oh, we have a new Gruden on the street video, too.

[A]

What?

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

Which one?

[C]

Did you not see this one with the headphones?

[A]

Oh, yeah, I did see that. The forced handshake.

[C]

Oh, my God. The guy trying to basically tell Gruden, like, everything's going well. My son and Gruden's like you got in motion so. Well, Roland Williams from Syracuse was my tight end. Wide open against the Kansas City Chiefs.

[A]

And there's nobody there.

[C]

He was running down sidelines in his knee braces. Gain of 49. What are you doing, Coach?

[B]

See you, man.

[C]

He was on the greatest show on turf. He played for the Rams and we got him with the Raiders. And I get to see you again, man. First up. Good. Come on, let's take a picture. Come on.

[B]

Come on.

[C]

What doing now in real estate? Helping guys who want to get into.

[A]

Real estate don't have the time.

[G]

Go do the work for them.

[C]

Do the dirty work. Raising my boys. I had a son, the best shift cuz Mike Martin. So it shift like. All right, enough about that. Put in shifts. He would snore, man.

[A]

You remember that.

[C]

Wouldn't be great at it. Effort shifted. Now we couldn't throw him down the field because he wasn't very fast, but he could.

[A]

He did get ruden walking around San Francisco was a mega star. They love him in the Bay Area.

[C]

We just need to like. I. I actually would love next super bowl if we just just we get like 60 of his ex players and we just plant them.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Along his path every morning.

[A]

He might just malfunction out.

[C]

Do.

[E]

Did you see the video of Gruden with the random guy just reciting plays?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What was that was good too?

[C]

I don't know but I loved it. Coach, we got twins right quick. ZIN61 bear alert. 468F angle Y corner on one, on one. Ready?

[D]

Let's go.

[A]

Flip that double X jet 36.

[C]

358 cannon. Hey, that's got me feeling nicely. I like a Little double right zap 48 Rhino.

[B]

Hey.

[C]

Alert 465F angle wide delay on 101. Hey. I like right in gin. 465F corner.

[B]

I don't know the guy's name yet.

[C]

No. 76 Zap X individual.

[A]

Hurry up.

[B]

Hey, let's go.

[C]

Trips right type B motion 36 power pass on one on one.

[A]

Ready?

[C]

I love you. Oh man.

[B]

And he does love him.

[C]

TFT told the story that they got in the car for the DraftKings dinner on Friday night and Marillo got in and Gruden was sitting in the back seat and he just goes, hey, Ryan, the talk of the day was those two titties on your Instagram. Saying two titties is funny titties on Instagram, man.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Has Rosolo addressed that?

[C]

I. I think he's probably just finished Taping his pod. He did call me. I ca. I talked to him when I was at the airport. He said that he walked out of the hotel on Friday and he was maybe two steps out of the hotel and a guy from across the street just yelled nice tits for Sillo. So good. Oh man. Unreal. They were nice tits.

[A]

Were.

[C]

They were really nice.

[F]

Perky.

[C]

So Brandon, where did you land on Sam Darnold?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm still not sure you can win a Super bowl with him. Yeah.

[C]

Stephen Confetti, quarterback.

[E]

Yeah, apparently.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

Completion percentage. I mean he did. You just didn't make any mistakes.

[C]

Yeah, but he also played like a perfect game in the NFC championship game before.

[B]

Well, listen, yesterday I think was. I know he was just up 50% but like he had had five or six chances to really fuck up. Like the rush got to him and he got out of it like every time. And he protected the football. Like I think there's something to be said for that.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Because the Patriots defense was on his ass.

[C]

Oh, big time.

[B]

And Drake May fucked up. He didn't fuck up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to talk too much sports, but how does history look back at Cooper Cup?

[B]

Well, very well.

[A]

Like I mean the all time rank.

[C]

The fact that they like. Like that's how dominant the Seahawks were. If you had said before the game that JSM would have 27 yards. Yeah. Like no way. Yeah, yeah. Cups of dog.

[A]

Because he want a triple crown.

[B]

Prime was too short. I guess.

[A]

Maybe super bowl mvp.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Two Super Bowls.

[C]

Two Super Bowls still maybe a third. Yeah. Stocks are going to be good.

[A]

It's curious.

[G]

Are they saying dynasty?

[A]

Is Cooper Cup a dynasty?

[C]

Does he have now like so many? He could be a Hall of Fame. I mean remember, I mean like Terrell Davis went to the hall of Fame and he had only a four year. Yeah.

[A]

Because his prime wasn't long. His peak wasn't long.

[E]

No way he's going to the hall of Fame.

[B]

Cooper Cup.

[E]

No, ain't no way.

[C]

If he gets really good numbers.

[E]

He's had 2, 000 yard years.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. The prime hasn't been.

[A]

Yeah, it wasn't a very long peak.

[G]

Yeah, but it's not a Hall of Fame. He's a no way hall of Famer.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I don't think I'm with Che Che. I don't know if he's in no way hall of Famer. We don't know what the future holds.

[G]

You Gotta redo the hall of Fame then.

[B]

He's had.

[E]

He had one incredible.

[B]

How old is he?

[A]

He's the same. He's 32.

[B]

32.

[A]

So he's the same age as, like. How old's DeAndre Hopkins?

[B]

35. Probably gotta be older. All right, so. So he had that one incredible. Incredible, incredible.

[G]

He just. All he has is that one year where he's the greatest football player on planet Earth for one full season.

[C]

So that's probably.

[A]

That's not enough.

[G]

Not enough to be in the hall of Fame, because you can.

[A]

Interesting player to look back at.

[C]

Because, like, it's funny to look back at, like, Terrell Davis. Terrell Davis liter.

[B]

Oh, wait. Okay. So obviously.

[C]

And it's actually kind of similar that he had three years with one year being, like, so out of this world.

[B]

The numbers aren't there, but the ancillary things. He already has a Super bowl mvp. He has two Super Bowls, one with two team, one with multiple teams, and an offensive player of the year. Right.

[C]

Look at his.

[B]

He's got, like. If he just stacks four or five decent seasons on top of these, I think he would have a case.

[C]

Look at his profile on Pro Football Reference. They have a Hall of Fame meeting. Search for that. Like, Stafford was at, like, 90% and then he won the MVP was at like, 105%.

[A]

Are there wide receivers that have won the triple Crown that haven't made it to the hall of Fame?

[B]

Probably. Yeah. I would actually.

[C]

It would be the Terrell Davis. Yeah, it'd be the Terrell Davis comp.

[E]

Tory Holt has not made it. I know Reggie Wayne, too, but.

[B]

All right, all right.

[C]

So he's low.

[B]

He's way low. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. But again, if he retires today, not a Hall of Fame.

[C]

Well, that doesn't have a second championship either.

[G]

That's great.

[C]

All right, look.

[A]

How far down.

[B]

All right, now, I guess I'll just throw the idea out here right now. And if y' all want to. Is he a white. He's a white guy hall of Famer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also, if we want to build the white guy hall of Fame so people.

[G]

Are serious when they're like, white guy.

[A]

No people.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

When people do the thing where, like, he was only the best player on play planet Earth for one season, they're serious about that. Like, that's not good enough.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They unfortunately are also. Murphy out.

[C]

Name hall of Fame.

[A]

Cooper Cup.

[C]

Yeah. That's a great name.

[B]

Great name.

[C]

Great name.

[A]

Titus, you're pissed.

[C]

Look at your old.

[G]

Yeah, I kind of. I'm a Hall of Fame guy. I think every. Like, I think it's absurd. The Cooper Cup's not in the Hall. He would be. He should be a first ballot hall of Famer. And I'm not kidding. I don't understand how you can. How you can be the. The. Oh, Brandon's got food. Sorry.

[C]

I want to try it too. Can you look up Terrell Davis? It's crazy.

[G]

Like, that's crazy.

[C]

They only played six years, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or seven. But only four were good and only three were like, great, great. Are you actually a Hall of Fame guy?

[G]

I'm a. I'm a. Like, we should expand the hall of Fame guy.

[C]

Three Pro Bowls.

[G]

I'm.

[C]

I am go down.

[G]

Is he not all if the trail.

[C]

No, he is. But look at his numbers. Like, he's. Yeah, but I don't. Three Incredibles. Incredible seasons. The rest are nothing.

[G]

But how is that not enough?

[E]

But that's just.

[C]

No, he is. He is in there. What'd you say?

[E]

He just had like bad injuries toward like.

[C]

I understand but like that he would be the comp you'd want to use of like the peak was so good that they had to put him in the hall of Fame.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

But like Michael Thomas was voted the number one player in the NFL in like 2019. He make the hall of Fame.

[G]

He should.

[C]

He didn't win a Super bowl in know Titus. I. I kind of. If you're the best in the world, the whole.

[G]

Yeah. For the best in the world for one full season.

[A]

That's impressive.

[E]

As Kurt Warner's in the hall of Fame.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He had a.

[E]

A couple years, but.

[G]

Yeah. I don't know. Whatever.

[C]

See, I couldn't care less.

[G]

No, I. I don't care. I. I'm with you. Which is why I think everybody should be in. I think like putting. Just because Cooper cup is not deserving. It's like how the. Just throw him in, dude. Yeah.

[C]

I don't get it.

[A]

It's not hurting anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

What does it hurt to put the guy that.

[A]

Have we talked about Roback.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I'd love to right now more.

[F]

There's wonderful.

[A]

We have talked about it. Yes. Have we talked.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

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[G]

My standard for hall of fame is have I heard of you?

[A]

That's pretty.

[G]

Do I know you?

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

If so, then you're in. Kate, I need you to explain this to me because my wife did a terrible job. Savannah Guthrie's mom is missing.

[F]

Dude, that story is so crazy. That story is so crazy.

[A]

Crazy.

[F]

You guys have not been tracking on this.

[G]

I know it's what's going on. And I asked her and she like did a poor job of explaining it. That she was actually kidnapped.

[F]

Yes, she was actually kidnapped. And she was at the sister's house, I believe. Now I've known to these up.

[G]

Savannah Guthrie is today show big time morning show host.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

The mom is at the scissors house. Uber gets ubered back to her house house and then disappears. They start getting like ransom notes. Like the. What's that baby that got taken back in the day? Like give us like a million dollars. Yeah, the Lindbergh baby. Like that kind of. And they were like, Savannah Guthrie and her family were making videos like begging please send her back. And now again, I could be getting this wrong. The vibe. So I follow all these people who pick these videos apart heart. The vibe is now that they think like, this is dark, but she is no longer with us and they're just trying to get the body back. That's dark. But that's the analysis that I've been seeing. Is the vibe from the videos now.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Go on.

[C]

It takes. She takes daily medication. That's like she needs it.

[B]

And that's.

[C]

That was at her house. And also her pacemaker.

[B]

Her pacemaker went.

[C]

So they noticed how they noticed that something's wrong.

[B]

Wrong. Her pacemaker went offline and they went.

[C]

To go check her out at the house and boom. Nothing.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Is there a suspect?

[F]

Wasn't the initial suspect. Again, I'm afraid to Say anything was that it was a relative.

[A]

Yeah, it was like someone's boyfriend, someone's.

[F]

Husband, but then they weren't sure and then. But it's super sad. Oh, depressing. But I haven't seen any updates today. I haven't checked the news on that today, so I don't know if there's like the latest on it, but. Who kidnaps an old lady?

[G]

I know, right?

[A]

What the. Look, did you guys watch the Puppy Bowl?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you see the wheelchair puppy? It's dead.

[F]

I know.

[G]

They pre recorded wheelchair puppy and then.

[A]

They announced that the dog died of pneumonia.

[G]

They announced it on the.

[A]

No, like somebody tweeted that the dog's no longer with us.

[F]

Are they sure it wasn't Brandon?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, I wonder what happened. He looks a perfect health, right? I'm in a shock.

[C]

You can't air that.

[A]

That. You can't. They had to have suspected that maybe this dog wasn't going to make it to air time.

[C]

Also, I didn't know they taped it like five months before.

[F]

I didn't know that either.

[C]

That's pre recorded.

[G]

How. How did.

[C]

I would have been in the chat saying pre recorded.

[G]

How did the dog do in the Puppy Bowl?

[A]

That one.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

All heart.

[A]

I don't. I don't.

[G]

It wasn't good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Will Campbell.

[C]

Dude, the memes are Will Campbell.

[G]

He's to going.

[C]

Got to be having. Is he having the worst day possible of anyone right now? Got to be.

[A]

In the sports world.

[C]

Maybe saw a tweet that was just like he saw Will Campbell in the locker after him. After crying, couldn't wipe the tears away with his short arms. Mean he's having a tough day. That's a pretty tough. I think he'll bounce back. He seems like the type of dude that has that kind of shit to him. Him. But to have that. Oh, man.

[A]

I mean, there's no bigger slap in the face than that.

[C]

No. Do you keep tabs on Ellie and Gonzalez, Nick?

[E]

No.

[A]

No, not anymore.

[C]

He's got to be like 40, 50 at least.

[F]

I feel like he was still here. Or is he back in?

[G]

He was.

[C]

Good question. When was that?

[G]

No, he was 96. He's like 10, right back then.

[C]

96. So he's 40.

[G]

It's about 40.

[C]

Oh, no, no, no.

[A]

We were off 32.

[C]

When did that happen?

[F]

Did you become a really good baseball player or am I wrong?

[C]

No, it was. It was 99. 99. No, you're just saying that because he's.

[A]

Gonna Ellie and Gonzalez, isn't he?

[C]

That Boxer slash baseball player. I think that Danny Almonte halftime show Cage.

[F]

What?

[C]

You just saw Gonzalez, you're like, he's must be an awesome shortstop for the Marlins.

[F]

Oh, is there it.

[A]

Okay, Is there a Gonzalez baseball player?

[F]

Yes, there are many, but I think he played. Maybe I'm wrong.

[A]

Let's wait. Let's. She could be right.

[G]

She could be right.

[C]

Well, Nick, if. If you kept tabs on him, we'd know.

[A]

Why am I the alien Gonzalez?

[C]

Any baseball in his.

[F]

I feel like I saw baseball news about him, like, five years ago or something, but maybe that was just baseball.

[G]

Alien Gonzalez plays for the Rangers, and we just didn't. No one put it together.

[A]

That Elliot Gonzalez.

[C]

Does he have any baseball in that.

[F]

Wikipedia, Is there anything dj?

[A]

I mean, there's another minor league baseball player named Gonzalez. It's not, like, notable at all.

[C]

What a saga.

[A]

And one time, the alien Gonzalez said that he wanted to go to the US to watch a baseball game.

[F]

Oh, that's probably what it is. That's gotta be stuck in my crawl to do that.

[C]

Yeah, Gonzalez, man, he's a really good dominoes player.

[F]

All right.

[E]

You guys know how to play dominoes?

[C]

I wish.

[E]

Seems like a fun, so fun game.

[F]

It does seem fun.

[A]

I'll learn how to play mahjong.

[C]

Now that football's over, we have to start playing euchre.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Maijong. By the way, my wife plays it, and it's, like, all the rage.

[A]

I heard it's very, very addicting. And, like, a. Bought a lot of, like, mahjong clubs are popping up around cities.

[G]

My mom has bought, like, her own. Yeah, she's got like. She's like, oh, this is my. I don't know what the pieces are, but, like, her own little. She used to, like, go and play with the friends, and they had.

[C]

They played.

[G]

She now shows up with her own little kit that she pops open.

[A]

Yeah, I love watching. Have you seen the mahjong tables that automatically shuffle them? It's mesmerizing. Oh, no, it's mesmerizing.

[C]

I want to see that. Yeah. I don't even understand the game.

[G]

No, I don't either.

[C]

She plays once a week with her friend.

[A]

The pieces look like they taste good.

[C]

They don't play for money, which bothers me to no end.

[B]

What's the point?

[C]

She comes home and she's like, I finished first. I'm like, so what do we win? Nothing.

[A]

I heard that reminded me. I got an anonymous tip that somebody saw Chef Donnie and his boys in a bar playing Just like the app version of blackjack. That's not for money. It's just an app you download and going nuts in the bar. But I don't know if that's true.

[C]

Oh. Oh, yes. What is that? The sound we.

[B]

Howard.

[C]

I don't even understand what it's block. Yeah.

[A]

There's a mahjong. Tiles. The tiles are very satisfying.

[F]

And crazy rich Asians.

[C]

Whoa.

[F]

Asmr.

[A]

Done.

[C]

That's so holy. That's how they all are.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Yeah. It's all the rage.

[A]

I want to learn how to play.

[F]

You don't think into that stuff. Rummy cube I can do.

[C]

Seems like a chicken. You think that's all I know.

[B]

Yeah. That looked cool though.

[C]

I understand that look cool. But it's like chicks love the game.

[B]

Okay. Can you buy us one of those.

[C]

Tables that just to watch it. Those down.

[B]

Those Persian men play on tick.

[A]

Oh, the real smooth table.

[B]

See that smooth table with the circle?

[A]

They walk around so swaggy.

[G]

Oh, dude.

[C]

What game is.

[A]

It's the smoothest table you could ever see.

[B]

Pushes a circle into another circle and it goes into the circle and you.

[G]

Hit the puck into this.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Can you get us one of these tables? It's called Karam.

[A]

A traditional Indian board game of skill and precision. Usually played in rural areas. It's now evolved into a serious tournament level sport with championships held across India.

[B]

The uk, Sri Lanka.

[G]

I want the big slow mo Ones are awesome.

[A]

The rules are simple. Flick the striker, pocket your pieces.

[G]

Yeah, like that guy.

[B]

Those guys are all just. They're bosses.

[A]

Does it look easy Angles.

[G]

It looks so easy.

[B]

I think we see the best players like it just.

[A]

But the thing is so slippery one's going to go in top players. C A R R O M to master rebounds, spin control and consistent a. Because Carom isn't just a game. It's a culture kept alive. Not by rule.

[C]

I guess maybe it's global.

[A]

It seems like there's.

[G]

Look at that.

[F]

Oh, look at that.

[G]

Look at that.

[A]

That wasn't intentional though. I'm not buying it. Competitive sport.

[B]

Oh. It's called Karam.

[C]

A tradition. But I. I want like the. I see it. I could buy it, but I want like the big, big one. Right? How much?

[A]

Well, that's. Look at the ball.

[B]

That's gotta be expensive as.

[C]

No, they're not on Amazon. I'm looking right now. They're like 150 bucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just play air hockey.

[A]

We're gonna play this for 15 minutes.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Or we get hooked forever. Yeah, I like knock hockey, Brandon. You just want it so you could take it home.

[B]

That is how I pretty much finance my. I furnish my house like that.

[A]

Have you given Tommy his thing?

[B]

Yeah, we went riding yesterday.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We got a go kart for doing the most sponsorship, sponsor video art. Came and picked it up. Up and brought it home to. Yeah, sick.

[G]

He's got a go kart now. Yeah, that's pretty sick.

[B]

I'll bring it back when they need it. Yep.

[C]

How big do we want this thing?

[A]

I like it.

[B]

Oh, did you bring Tommy a blade from.

[A]

Yeah, Blade.

[C]

How big do we want this karam board?

[B]

I don't know how big they are. How big do they get?

[G]

That one looks a little too big is what I think.

[B]

Yeah? Yeah.

[D]

Like.

[A]

Like it's a little annoyed at a certain point.

[B]

How? Just go down to the most expensive one. Let's look at the most expensive one.

[F]

Is there, like, a Corona bar here in Chicago? It'd be sick if you guys got really good at it and then rolled into that bar one night.

[A]

Can't jump it.

[C]

What's this one? How much? How big is it?

[A]

That looks big, right? Three by two.

[B]

That's not big. Oh, three by two.

[C]

Yeah. I feel like I'm gonna buy one. It's gonna come, and we're like, that's it.

[A]

We need an expert.

[B]

Let's do some more research.

[C]

36 millimeter. What's. What's Mm?

[B]

Mm's not very big.

[G]

I'm surprised there's so many different sizes.

[A]

Regulation is 29 by 29, so big head should look for six foot by six foot, says this guy.

[B]

Chat.

[C]

Okay, six.

[B]

That guy could just be saying something for sure.

[C]

What's mm? Millimeter.

[A]

Millimeters.

[C]

And what are those really tiny meters?

[A]

You're going to lose me. Yeah, but how big's a meter? 100 millimeters.

[C]

No, yeah.

[G]

Be a th.

[B]

Centimeters is 100.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[B]

Yeah, we got it.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Good, good. So we're getting a karam board at some point.

[C]

Trying to buy one right now, but I gotta find a big one.

[B]

Let's go find a. An Indian man just. And give him some money and have him bring his karam board back.

[A]

Is that how that works?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Get it sponsored.

[B]

I love Mahesh. Yeah. Yeah. He's one of my favorites.

[F]

He is a very good hang.

[B]

I have a top hang out with. He's. He's. He's on my top five list.

[C]

Out on the course. They're The PGA Tour's best players.

[A]

But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back.

[C]

With lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen.

[A]

Big time matchups with shot clocks, camera drops, timeouts, overtime and playoffs.

[C]

It's city versus city, squad versus squad. The sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi. Keep up, it's golf.

[A]

Tune in to every match only on espn. Holy shit, Sam.

[G]

I spent a lot of time with him in San Francisco.

[B]

Yeah, I was.

[G]

I surprised. I was surprised by that.

[B]

I didn't. I didn't.

[G]

I look back on the week and.

[A]

I see a lot of mirage.

[G]

It's a lot of mirage.

[B]

I didn't like what he reportedly said to you though, when we came back from our thing. And he said Brandon was actually funny. Actually, he's doing a lot of work.

[A]

Wait, what are you talking about?

[B]

That's what he said he told some.

[A]

Actually funny about what?

[G]

When we did Triple D. Yeah.

[A]

Sounds like he was our cameraman. I don't recall him telling me that.

[B]

Oh, he told somebody.

[G]

Did he?

[B]

Somebody told. No, somebody told me that.

[A]

Titus told me that.

[B]

I know Titus uses.

[A]

Actually, no, but Titus told me you were actually funny. You actually had guy roaring.

[B]

Yeah, stop saying actually though.

[D]

I'm.

[A]

I'm saying what Titus said.

[B]

But you did more said.

[D]

Actually.

[G]

You do not actually have him roar.

[B]

Right, but y' all keep saying that.

[G]

I don't understand.

[C]

I think you're getting confused, Brennan. What they're saying is, contrary to popular belief, you are funny.

[B]

That's what.

[G]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah, but I don't.

[G]

That's so that's what I was.

[B]

I don't think actually is needed there. I think just Brandon was funny. Is. Is good.

[G]

Yeah, that's what I said. Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like you're actually finds a nut, right?

[B]

No clock.

[C]

Right. But I. You're a guy who broken clock. You don't present as funny.

[B]

I. I say jokes that are funny.

[C]

They're usually Bernie, Max or Next.

[A]

Those are funny.

[G]

Oh my God. The. Nick. Did Nick write all your jokes for Triple D?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, the one I wrote, he didn't use at dinner. I wish you would have.

[C]

Boards are out of stock.

[B]

We'll give the Quran board later. We probably in five minutes we won't even care about it.

[A]

Yeah, I forgot about it already.

[B]

Yeah, well, I moved on.

[C]

I have not.

[G]

I just want to feel it one time.

[A]

I don't want to give it so smooth.

[C]

I want to so bad. Right.

[G]

We don't need to buy it, but if there is a place I could just go to get one flick in.

[B]

I guess it is air hockey, just without somebody else over there.

[G]

Oh, is it actual air?

[B]

I don't know if it is.

[G]

It does look like that. But is.

[A]

It looks like something that takes an incredible amount of upkeep with, like, oils. Yeah. I'll be part of the karam team. Yeah.

[C]

Ooh, yeah.

[G]

Karam team.

[A]

Would you train for a year, then go to India? If I have to. I feel like that's unnecessary, but I will. Have you seen the guys that play, like, the tabletop baseball? And it's. They all wear, like, uniforms, and I have not.

[C]

No. Air hockey's under it rated.

[A]

I like air hockey too, Ed. Just too loud.

[B]

Hold on. Let me see. More about tabletop baseball.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. One guy swings. We've already moved on. Big Cat.

[C]

I want this.

[B]

We got tabletop baseball now.

[C]

I want this bad.

[A]

I think you'd actually be good at.

[C]

Oh, my God. God, this is awesome.

[A]

I like the guy. I don't know what shooting sleeve is.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Bat flip.

[B]

Oh, there's a lot of teams here.

[C]

What?

[B]

Why are you so happy?

[G]

Home run. A walk off.

[C]

This is awesome.

[G]

Oh, that was awesome. And then he high fives. The pitcher got clear.

[A]

I don't think I get it.

[G]

They're just playing in a hole.

[F]

They're trying to get it in that hole. Right?

[G]

Where are they?

[A]

Who's got them?

[C]

All right. Maresh is going to little India. Didn't know they're was.

[A]

I think that's. He's going home. I'm taking a half day, boss.

[C]

He's gonna find us one. Yeah. There's a whole street. Eddie and I were talking for those.

[A]

You sent mores just now?

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

So just go get us one. Get a big one. Danny and Kate were there. Jay, were you there for Eddie's block party?

[E]

No.

[C]

So we're gonna get Chicago piano man again, but we got to get an opening act. Who should that be?

[A]

While we're on topic, have you gotten the Jesse white tumblers yet?

[C]

Oh, yeah. When are they coming? Whenever you want them. I got.

[B]

Now.

[C]

We got you guys. White tumblers. They're awesome.

[F]

Seen them at a block party.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Incredible.

[C]

They're sick. But who is. Who's the people like Elton John. But our guy does Elton John as well.

[A]

But who?

[C]

The Phantom who opens for Billy Jones.

[A]

Roll spellbinder.

[F]

Oh, binder. Be good. Can we look up who are the biggest cover artists in Chicago?

[A]

Yeah, like who used to open.

[B]

They have a local cover.

[C]

Neil Diamond. I don't. I'm not a Neil diamond guy. But maybe work.

[B]

Who are the legendary cover artists in Chicago?

[C]

You don't want to do like a Metallica opener. No, it's gotta be the same.

[F]

It's gotta blend.

[B]

Elton John would be.

[D]

Ah.

[C]

You know, would be not maybe a little Frank Sinatra. Yeah. But because Frank Sinatra you could maybe do like or Bing Crosby where you don't really have to pay attention. He could just be background music. Good point.

[F]

Ambiance.

[C]

And then you bring on.

[A]

Is there a website where we can find cover artists or tribute bands?

[C]

Oh, we gotta get the.

[B]

We're onto something now.

[C]

Can you talk to your guy? The Elton John guy or the Billy Joel?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Remember my idea for March Madness? We need him. My is that we put him in a room during March Madness when you get a bad loss, you just go in and you just sit there and you're just like. Play me. You know, Scenes from Italian Restaurant. Yeah. One. Yeah. I'll just pay for him for the whole day. It'd be amazing. Yeah. I don't know who we can get. Yeah, we need to see a list. I wouldn't mind doing a stand up cover artist.

[B]

Oh, here we go.

[F]

A fake Shane Gillis.

[B]

Who would.

[A]

They'd have to have like.

[B]

Who would. Who would cover standups?

[C]

Rodney Dangerfield would be awesome.

[B]

Wait, so what was 1989?

[C]

What are these?

[A]

That a bowling cover?

[C]

Where does it say the COVID Who they're covering?

[B]

Go back down. I don't know why you went that far. Who middle.

[C]

Who are they covering?

[B]

One more down far right. 1989. What do they do? Taylor. Oh, it's just Taylor Swift. All right. It says it in the description that said for her there. Okay. Go to 11. You would think that was a Spinal Tap band.

[C]

I do have. So, Eddie, I do have a cover band that I would love to hire, but I don't think you. I don't think it fits with. Who is it? It's. Well, they actually make originals too. This band I found online. Wax monkey that they play like Almond Brothers, Grateful Dead. Like good jam band stuff. They look awesome. But would that. I think they'd have to be separate as I fit.

[F]

At Halloween I took my kids to a spooky Fleetwood Matte cover band called Fleetwood Dracula.

[C]

Mac would work.

[F]

Spooky. Fleetwood Mac.

[C]

Right. Do we have a Fleetwood Mac coming the Halloween.

[G]

Do they do that year round.

[C]

Or was it Fleetwood Mac would be awesome.

[F]

They changed the words for Halloween, but I think they could do. I think their main gig is Fleetwood.

[G]

Fleetwood Mac.

[C]

What if we just put on, like a wood sock for cover bands?

[F]

Do they have that somewhere?

[A]

Times like this, I wish we had a cover pop punk band. Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, my God. They look so awesome.

[A]

It also would be funny to get an actual Eddie.

[C]

I think we got to do this. I think we got to do this into Elton John. Is that too much music?

[B]

No. Maybe.

[C]

You might have to have two parties.

[B]

How big?

[C]

Yeah, you make it a fest. These guys look sick.

[F]

Garage Fest. Eddie's Garage Fest.

[B]

You got the room for a six person band to get up on the stage.

[C]

That'd be tight, but we could. We could squeeze them.

[A]

What if we just had like a random talent show of all former Yak guests, like Ollie Spellbinders.

[C]

You have a lot.

[B]

What is Ollie's talent?

[D]

He.

[C]

What are you talking.

[A]

He houses the Gringe.

[B]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Tarantula.

[C]

On. On. Yeah, dude.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You were scared.

[B]

Yeah, but how would that work at a.

[C]

Now you don't want to pet. You don't want to pet a snake. I'll.

[B]

We'll remember this.

[A]

I'll tell Al.

[B]

All right, Ollie. Yeah. We're doing a lot right now. We're booking cover bands. We're buying.

[C]

Summer's almost here.

[B]

Football's over.

[C]

Once football ends, I'm like, summertime.

[B]

Let's do a bunch of.

[C]

I know there's still some months, but it's, you know, pitchers and catchers.

[E]

Cubs report to their back.

[C]

Yeah, we're getting. We have like, fake madness. Did you see. I mean, five weeks till bracket.

[G]

Five weeks till bracket.

[C]

Five. Two weeks till bracket.

[H]

It is.

[C]

That's very doable.

[A]

A week of consecutive 30 plus degrees is enough for me.

[C]

Yeah. Five weeks. So bracket. My juice is flowing. This is. I made the argument on. On pmt. I'm sure you guys talk about on mostly hoops, which I would like to attend at some point. Mostly hoops taping. I think college. This might be one of the best college basketball seasons we've had in a long.

[G]

It's been unbelievable and it's so good.

[C]

There are like 10 incredible teams.

[G]

Tonight will be a banger. Arizona.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

But I went down the list. Like, I actually might. I might bet, like, Florida is probably the. The 9th or 10th best team. I might bet them to win the national championship because I think they could do it.

[G]

They could.

[C]

Their shooting's bad, but they're so good defensively. It's been two A sports, but it's been a great. We got to talk. We got to do this.

[G]

Been a great season.

[F]

Have there been any pleasant surprises? Like, oh, shoot. Didn't know these guys were going to be good. And they're great.

[G]

Great. Ohio is undefeated. But they're not good. Which I say in a funny way, not like in a. Yeah, shitty way.

[C]

And we got this weekend.

[A]

I'm sure they wouldn't be offended.

[C]

The bonus, like Duke is back to being the most insufferable people in the world.

[G]

That's right.

[C]

And I love that John Shire. Just like, thank you. I didn't.

[G]

We needed it.

[C]

I didn't naturally hate John Shire. And then he pulled an all time just straight out of a Coach K Playboy book. I don't want to talk about the court storming, but. Let's only talk about the court storming.

[G]

But a couple my guys got punched in the face. That's what he said.

[C]

God damn it, I love it. College basketball.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Bob Seger. Oh, Sear would be great.

[B]

Not bad.

[F]

Do you follow that account? Is it a Sear?

[C]

He's always popping up in my. In my algorithm. He's funny guy.

[F]

He's a funny guy. He's got like a very.

[C]

Donnie.

[G]

You're the man, Donnie.

[B]

Hey, Donnie.

[C]

Tomorrow, do science. Yeah.

[G]

You ready?

[B]

Have you worked on it at all?

[H]

No.

[B]

Do you have an idea for it?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay, good.

[C]

I have till tomorrow. Yeah.

[B]

Understand.

[G]

I missed you. Donnie.

[B]

Donnie, Donnie, Donnie. Come here. Mark had a question.

[C]

What?

[B]

Just.

[G]

Good to see you.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Donnie, do you think Nick's going to take the million dollars?

[B]

For what?

[C]

You know. You know, what do you think he is? I hope I don't. I hope he doesn't.

[A]

Are you talking Beast?

[C]

Yeah, we were just talking Beast for a second.

[A]

Are you watching Beast?

[C]

I am obsessed with Beast.

[A]

I'm not angry.

[B]

You're angry.

[A]

I'm not angry.

[C]

I'm in a good mood.

[G]

I missed you at the Super Bowl.

[C]

I. You should have been there for flag football.

[G]

I wish you were there.

[B]

I.

[C]

No, don't.

[B]

Don't start this.

[C]

Bless you, Danny.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Tomorrow.

[E]

Tomorrow.

[C]

Do something.

[A]

All right.

[G]

See you. Dy.

[C]

Yeah. I've been beasting so hard. It's.

[F]

He was at the Super Bowl.

[B]

I'm going to pop out.

[F]

Didn't he have a commercial where it's like, if you can solve this commercial, you win a million dollars or something?

[C]

I don't think I want to meet Mr.

[D]

Beast.

[C]

I don't like him that much.

[A]

I don't know anything about Jimmy.

[E]

Did you guys have a favorite super bowl commercial at all or.

[B]

No, I liked Horse, Bald Eagle and Jurassic Park.

[F]

Jurassic Park. Look at this pile of shrimp. Made me laugh.

[C]

I don't really. I. I can't. I don't remember any of them.

[E]

Brandon, you didn't like the. Which was the nostalgia one?

[A]

The Dun Dun donut that was like a fever dream.

[B]

Oh, I kind of like that. I liked it that it had Carlton and Urkel and they look normal but some of them just look too freaky. Like Ted Danson looked.

[C]

Oh, the Guy Fieri one was good.

[B]

Yeah, guy fiery one was good.

[C]

My old job, I was. I had a year where I was in charge of cutting the super bowl commercials. So I would watch the commercials and as soon as the game turned on I would put my head down and go cut them. It was like the most mind thing in the world. Oh man, that reverse, brutal. You know what super bowl was it for? It was the Panthers. Broncos. Oh, that's actually not a bad super. Yeah, that happened. But it was just like didn't see an ounce of the game or a second.

[G]

An ounce.

[F]

An ounce.

[C]

I say that all the time. I say ounce for everything. Hello to this guy.

[G]

I thought about that. That too.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Didn't need to do that.

[G]

One ounce of game.

[C]

Which AD did you do?

[A]

I did no bull.

[C]

Okay. I'm gonna do NASCAR. The Daytona 500 isn't just the start of NASCAR season. It's the moment when everything comes alive again and sets the tone for the entire year. It's iconic speed, pure spectacle and adrenaline filled moments wrapped into one larger than life. American traditional. The great American race is prestigious without feeling stuffy and unpredictable in a way that keeps your heart in your throat for 500 miles. For drivers, it's a race that defines careers and etches their names into the history books forever. Full throttle. Three wide door to door racing. Action for the win. Clear your schedule, grab a drink, tune into the Daytona 500. Sunday, February 15th at 2:30pm Eastern on Fox. We have to also start game planning. Mincy versus Ethan Day. That's gonna come up fast.

[A]

We need to think of things. Mincy can win.

[B]

My, my only suggestion is I think last year 20 events is too many. I think it should be like 12 or quicker.

[A]

So betrayed by slippery stairs.

[B]

Yeah, the ones that were bad and they, they required like that required like a lead in time or lead out time. I feel like should be quicker. Snappier.

[A]

We get as much payoff from, like, the things that are simple and happen.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In the room or in front of, like, it's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When we put too much effort into the actual item, it's It. The payoff is never worth.

[B]

I think 12 to 15. Good. Tight.

[C]

I also would like.

[A]

Like the Chinese translation.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or the lollipop thing was. Was way funnier than.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Events that took more.

[C]

More work to go into. I will say. I. I would. I would like some more nut shots.

[B]

I'd like Mark to hit somebody now.

[C]

I want more nut shots. I want. I want both of them to be hitting the nuts multiple times.

[A]

Haven't played nutball.

[C]

Nut ball would be great.

[E]

Do it.

[B]

All right. What else? What was that?

[C]

Did you put the shopping cart thing in?

[B]

Oh, is that.

[C]

Oh, we got to do the shopping cart.

[B]

Is that just doing it into.

[C]

I also would like to see in, you know, like the hot coals walk but with Legos.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Let me stop you there. What about hot coals?

[C]

Hot coals would work too. Maybe there's Legos on the hot coals.

[B]

Hot Legos. Hot Legos probably melt.

[C]

Hot Legos would be sick. Yeah. I want a little bit more pain.

[B]

All right. What. How. How's the logistics of getting hot coals?

[A]

I think it's pretty easy. Right.

[F]

We could just do it ourselves. Right.

[B]

Let's get hot coals.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Just get some hot coals. Where?

[B]

All right. Let's go buy some hot coals now.

[C]

Where we go. We'll just get some coals, make them hot.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

Remind me, how good of an athlete is Ethan?

[B]

Can't be good. Can't be good.

[G]

Like, have you seen him?

[B]

I don't think any of us know.

[C]

I. Oh, none of us. He actually might be decent. I would imagine he's going to be out of breath almost instantly. He doesn't feel like a guy who's doing a lot.

[B]

Has anyone ever seen him move faster than the speed of, like, he. He doesn't do anything fast.

[C]

I like that. Measure the speed of a unit of measurement.

[B]

Even when he's talking to us. It did. His answers aren't like. I've never seen him. And this is coming from somebody who doesn't move at a speed of anything. But I've never seen him have to move fast at all.

[G]

He never even moves 1 oz.

[B]

Never moves an ounce. That kind of bounces when he walks. It's Jack, right? Jack G. Jack bounces when he walks. He does.

[A]

I don't know if it'd be funny, but I'd be curious. To see how Mincy handles a dog.

[B]

All right, now we're. Now we're talking, like some sort of dog show. Did we do Baby last year?

[A]

Yeah, Baby last year. That was uncomfortable.

[C]

Baby got older, though. Yeah.

[A]

I guess that's a good thing.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Last year the baby was so young. It just didn't move for, like, 30.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe now it's time. It's a better baby. Yeah, maybe the baby got better.

[C]

What about catching rabbits?

[F]

Hey.

[A]

Or chicken?

[F]

Oh, chicken.

[C]

Chicken would be fun. A chicken on the court.

[B]

Yeah, but what happens when they can't catch a chicken and we're just. We have a chicken stuck somewhere.

[C]

I think that'd be pretty funny. No, we'll make a. We'll make a.

[B]

All right, we'll catch it. Chicken chasing isn't bad.

[C]

What if we could catch them like the boars?

[F]

Then they have to. This is. I don't actually want this to happen. But then they have to, like, go cook it.

[C]

All right, Chef Donnie, what if we. What if one of the competition divisions are. We have to catch them.

[A]

We're gonna catch Mincy?

[C]

No, like, set a trap.

[A]

Oh, we're gonna catch Mincy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

We just need. I think the.

[D]

The.

[A]

The athleticism gap is enormous. Like, it's a chasm.

[B]

I want somebody to be captured up in a rope net. It comes down.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Or a spike.

[B]

Pits.

[G]

You think Ethan is way better than Mincy.

[A]

I do.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I would agree.

[F]

I think Mincy has better.

[B]

Sneaky, athletic.

[C]

What about heads down poker where they both. They play. They play heads up poker, but they're both upside down.

[A]

That. That would be great. That'd be amazing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think Mitzi would, like, die.

[C]

He might.

[A]

It'll be the first time blood reached his brain.

[C]

I don't know about cherry pie. Eat off.

[A]

He hates cherry pie.

[B]

Dude, that was crazy. I forgot about that. He was vomiting before he got to the pot pie.

[C]

I just don't like turp pie.

[A]

Why I enter this pie eating cont. Yeah. I'm trying to think of, like, what Miny would win in.

[B]

What about who could get on local radio the fastest?

[C]

He'd. Great.

[A]

Be great at that.

[B]

Give them both a phone and say you. I got to hit you on Chicago radio.

[C]

I like that a lot. I like that a lot. All right, well, send us. Send us ideas as well. Well, tomorrow do science.

[A]

I can't wait.

[C]

Eddie, you around this week? Yeah. All right, great. And Dana can fill in for me as well. I'm out on Wednesday. Wednesday through Friday. Vacation out of here.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Little vacation.

[B]

That'd be nice.

[C]

It's going to be nice.

[B]

I'm going Mexico.

[C]

Sleep in Cayman Islands. Going to sleep in Che.

[A]

Where are you going?

[B]

Yep. Been too long.

[C]

About time.

[B]

Time.

[E]

All right.

[B]

Is that a worse.

[C]

When's your next vacation?

[E]

Are we open Monday or.

[C]

No, I think we're going to yak. Yeah.

[E]

Okay, then Monday.

[C]

Okay. Monday. Oh, you're not going to be here Monday.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I mean, do you guys want. I mean, President Day is not a real.

[A]

I'm down.

[C]

Yeah, I'm here.

[B]

There's no.

[C]

You guys going to do your shows?

[B]

I. I would figure that we would, but there's no what on Monday? There's no what next week.

[A]

Why a whole week?

[B]

I think because they had to work Christmas or something and that they. The Fox is taking them off for a week. I think maybe. I hope I'm.

[C]

Oh, it's probably. Yeah. Like all the shows, I think. Take a break.

[B]

Yeah. I hope I'm not breaking news. It's not supposed to be broken.

[C]

But you broke it. All right. Let's spin the wheel.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

We got toys.

[A]

Deutsch. That's amazing.

[C]

We have a Deutsche. Is Lucas in Hawaii?

[A]

Yep.

[C]

That guy doesn't deserve to go to Hawaii.

[A]

I saw that. And it left a real bad taste.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Pissed me off. It pissed me off.

[A]

It doesn't belong. He doesn't belong.

[G]

He doesn't belong in Hawaii.

[C]

No. I hope he gets beat up by a local.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Get over here.

[A]

Howdy.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

Why is there something about that.

[C]

Something about that that pisses me off? Daytona beach, maybe.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Florida.

[A]

He's gotta go to Florida.

[C]

Panhandle. Fine.

[B]

Does it have to be a local Hawaii? Not by anybody.

[C]

No way. Maybe goes to El Paso. Yeah. Like that's what a douchebag tweet.

[A]

Hawaii, period.

[G]

And two drinks just to kind of flex.

[C]

He's probably so hammered off his two drinks. I just booked Put In Bay an hour ago. You're.

[A]

You're sick. Piss me off with that, too.

[C]

Oh, wait. Where's Mike Bets? He's in Florida. Now that makes sense.

[A]

That does make.

[C]

He should be in Florida. Florida? Yeah.

[A]

Are him and Frank cool?

[C]

Yeah, they. They got it all fit fixed.

[A]

Put In Bay is the worst. Ed.

[C]

No, it's the best.

[G]

You're going to put In Bay.

[A]

He always does.

[F]

When are you going? Summertime trip.

[C]

Yeah. June. Horrible. Excited. Yeah.

[A]

We went for Rediscovering America and most of our hotel lobby was a subway. All of it was a subway.

[F]

Why did you hate it?

[A]

It was the dirtiest, nastiest. I hated.

[C]

You can't stay at the hotel. They stayed.

[A]

It's a lot older than you would think. Think it's not like 20 something year olds partying.

[G]

I've never actually been, but I always thought it was a joke. Like the way people talk about. The way people in Ohio talk about it was always like, wouldn't it be funny if we went to put in bay?

[C]

Yeah, it's market's fun. What?

[G]

Like, let's go. I have to experience it, I guess.

[A]

Lawless.

[C]

It's all golf carts. That's fun.

[A]

Ever try golfing?

[G]

You're gonna love a golf course.

[C]

It's an island. So you know everyone's contained on that island. Like, you're not. You're not going.

[A]

These are cons. That sounds horrible.

[C]

Very. Yeah. And then, yeah, everyone just gets up and. And there's a bunch of fun bars and. Yeah, it's great.

[A]

That's where Lucas should be right now.

[D]

But not.

[C]

I always want to go to the island when it's winter.

[A]

The island. We have to the big island.

[B]

We got to go back.

[G]

We have to go back to the.

[C]

Island shores of Ohio.

[B]

Go. All right.

[C]

Okay. Let's spin it so where your cover.

[F]

Band festival can be. Ed's got for it.

[C]

Perfect. Why?

[A]

Why is it on the mostly couch?

[B]

All right. That's funny.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Good show, guys.

[B]

Yeah. What are Evo and Cody doing?

[F]

I don't know.

[A]

I guess.

[C]

Get your boys in order. Talk shot for two Yankees, obviously.

[A]

Good to be back. See you tomorrow.

[D]

I love you guys.