← Them Before Us
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- [00:02]
A
Welcome to Them Before Us on American Family Radio where we strive to put children before adults. Our goal is to educate the public on a child centric perspective of marriage and family and represent the rights of children on policy matters. Now here's the host and founder of Them Before Us, Katie Faust.
- [00:21]
B
Welcome to Them Before Us Radio. I'm your host, Katie Foust, founder and president of Them Before Us, a global nonprofit that seeks to put children before adults and in all matters of marriage and family. We want to inform culture, we want to influence culture in all things child centric. So that's what we do during this one hour period during the radio where you just get to drop in and listen. We're going to bring your attention to items that affect the well being of children and we're going to encourage you to put them first as well. I'm joined, as I often am, by my executive director, Josh Wood. We're going to hit some of the things that have stood out to us over the last week in the news, but we always begin with a little bit of Bible time. And this week I have been going through the book of Zechariah. Fascinating. Lots of things I understand, lots of things I don't understand. But a great deal of chapter 12 talks about how pitiful and how vulnerable people are without a shepherd and the critique that God has for those people that should be shepherding who instead exploit and use the people under their control. And while I'm reading this in Zachariah, I'm also listening to the audiobook called Girls by Freya India. And Freya is a young thinker in the UK she's, I think 26 and she just came out with a book about how children, well, girls specifically, have been turned into products specifically by social media companies who are exploiting the typical teenage girl anxieties, concerns about social acceptance, their appearance, their changing bodies, obviously the attention that they are starting to get as they grow into womanhood and how social media companies have identified that, monetized it, plugged it into the algorithm and as a result, we are seeing girls that are growing up in a world that would be unrecognizable to those of us that had a childhood pre Internet. And what is the problem? There is it is girls without a shepherd. They do not have connected mothers as Freya talks about. I don't think that we understand outside the Christian and conservative space that many of these girls have no, they've never stepped into a church before. They're not going out and meeting with their literal neighbors Their entire world is online. When they think community, they think Instagram. When they need advice, they think they go to an online therapist. When they need information about sex, good news, they were already introduced to porn when they were nine years old. What is the solution? It is shepherding. It is people stepping in. And this is not something that can ever be outsourced to influencers. This is not something that can be paid for through an online therapy prescription. This is only the kind of thing, this real shepherding that is going to anchor everybody, but especially girls going through the turbulent period of adolescent trying to find their way in the world, understand their genuine value. This is only going to be possible through embodied connection, specifically with their parents and other women that are existing in their real life world that they can go to for relationship advice, that they can understand that they don't have to use some kind of face tuning filter on their Instagram page to try to present themselves as a perfectly marketable product. So it's just the wisdom of scripture never ceases to amaze me and the application for the modern day is never ever going to expire. This is timeless truth. And it's a opportunity, it's a warning and it's an opportunity for the church, for parents, but then also everybody that is connected to young people to reinforce and strengthen their relationship with these adolescents who desperately need somebody to care for them, love them and direct them. And not only that, they're hungry for it. I think a lot of us have been told or maybe perceived that kids don't really need that help. They don't want you to interfere. But actually they do. They're desperate for it. They are desperate for real men and real women to ask about their lives, see how they're doing, connect with them, invest in them so that they can say something like, well, I'm considering breaking up with my boyfriend because something just doesn't feel right. He seems so, so control. But I also am really worried about how I'm going to explain this to my 374 Instagram followers. What should I do? That's a moment where they need a real woman in their life who loves them to shepherd them and direct them. Josh, obviously love to hear all of your thoughts on what's happening in the digital space, in the human space, and obviously what is happening in terms of what our obligation is as Christians in this modern digital age.
- [05:25]
C
Well, I don't think that it is an issue of no shepherd at all. I think sometimes we hear that and we're like, you know, maybe we shouldn't be. I think culture sometimes tries to portray freedom as, like, we don't need to press our values on these people. Let, you know, let kids decide for themselves. You're brainwashing them. I think that's what they call our discipleship sometimes. But it occurs to me that most of the time, it's not that they don't have a shepherd anymore. It's that culture gets to be the shepherd and cult. So there is no neutral set of values. There is no world where they grow up in a void with nothing, and they just figure it out and discover and test for themselves. I think understanding that the world is full of predators, it's full of wolves, it's full of people who want to push again. They're a product. Like you said, there's something to be monetized, exploited, used. If you don't have an active, it's almost like if you're not on offense, like, then you're losing.
- [06:20]
D
Do you.
- [06:20]
C
Like, we have to keep that in mind that unless we as parents, as culture are, as citizens, are pushing our values into the public square, unless we're being active with our kids, it's not like then, you know, our absence makes everything a neutral. It's that everyone else around us will take ground with our kids, with our schools, with our, you know, with our institutions. I think we got to wake up to that.
- [06:43]
B
That's. That's exactly the way to think about it.
- [06:45]
D
Yep.
- [06:46]
B
I'm really glad that you pointed it out and said it that way. It's not that these kids don't have a shepherd. They have a thousand digital shepherds, all of which are going to get something from them, all of which are going to be able to monetize their attention and that are going to direct them to be shaped in a way that really is going to depart from flourishing. Now, I'm not saying there aren't good online influencers like, we hope that our radio show is going to be something that will direct you to the good, true and beautiful, that is always going to encourage you to take responsibility on behalf of the children in your life. But we are no substitute for people in your world who know you, who have a personal relationship with you, who are involved in your marriage, who are watching you parent your children to give you tailored, embodied, lovingly enforced admonition if there's an area where you're out of line or something's going wrong with you. And I don't say this about you, I say this about me. You know, I have needed to Literally explicitly invite people that are older and wiser to say, watch my life and my doctor Doctrine closely and tell me if I'm stepping outside of the bounds, because the influence that. That I follow, they can give me good advice. They cannot look into my life. They cannot say, here's where you're departing, Katie, from the very principles that you say that matter to you. So these are things that we cannot outsource. We can be a great digital example, like there are opportunities that we have here in the digital space. You know, technology is the current social media reach, the different avenues that we have to speak to people. Just like every other commodity convention that humans have devised, they just amplify what's already in the heart. They can either maximize the good or they can maximize the evil. So we do pray that our digital footprint will maximize the good. And I wanted to highlight a few men that have done that this week. There is been. There has been an ongoing war within pro sports for the last several years. And you can see this happening. You know, it happens in the corporate space. It also happens in the pro sports space where teams will adopt different jerseys or a Pride night, or even Pride month, and they will force their players to don rainbow garb or hats with a specific message that they don't like. And I think in the past, a lot of these professional athletes have gone along with it, but over the last year or two, several have said no. And that happened this week. Josh, do you want to tell us a little bit about some of the outrage that happened when a few Major League Baseball players wrote a Bible verse on their Pride Night baseball caps?
- [09:45]
C
Yeah. Well, tell me if you can decipher from these headlines, if you didn't know that context, what just happened? Okay, the. The three guys are Landon Roop, J.T. brubaker, Ryan Walker. Okay, here's. Here's how the San Francisco Chronicle put it. On Pride Night, four giant pitchers on this Wobegon team opted to either deface their official uniform or ignore it all together, hijacking the event for their own purposes. Hijack. They're the hijackers, guys. This is how the Athletics said it. Several Giants players wrote Bible verses on their caps to respond to Pride Night. This gesture echoed a familiar pattern, making a night meant for inclusion about something else entirely. Okay, so as you can see, what is the. The. The. The. The. The message? It's that you guys wouldn't just go along to get along. You guys are making this about yourself again. So here. Here is my. Here's my take. Are we really saying, the guys who just want to play baseball without being forced to celebrate. Men marrying men transing kids, men and women's sports. This is a sports game, after all. And men buying babies from parents, women buying babies from parents. Those are the hijackers, the guys who just want to be left alone, who just want to play baseball. We're saying they're the hijackers. You've got these guys who. They wrote a Bible verse on their hat or refused to wear the cap that. That has the. The flag. The flag that is lgbt. And Q, It's. It's the whole agenda. And they object to having that inserted into their profession and have some mandatory. And again, the MLB actually said to them, this is a warning. This is very different than they've dealt with other people who have, quote, unquote, defaced their uniform with messages before singling out the Christian. And again, all these opinion, you know, writers saying, you're the hijacker. You're making this about you. Why won't you just bend the knee and go along to get along?
- [11:57]
B
It's interesting because I was listening to the Sermon on the Mount. My pastor was preaching on it, and it talks about, blessed are the persecuted and great is your reward in heaven. And, hey, you're not the first Christian to have to deal with this. You're not the first person to have to deal with the backlash of saying, I refuse to go along with what's happening right now. And it's interesting because I think Christians have largely thought, well, that has to do with sharing the gospel. You're persecuted when you say Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven and that we don't necessarily think about persecution outside of, you know, the four spiritual laws. But the reality is that, you know, I've often said my kids can go to their public school and say, I believe Jesus Christ is Lord and. And Savior of my life. And his friends will be like, all right, yeah, cool. So, you know, are you golfing this this afternoon? But if they say, I reject gay marriage, I don't think that babies should be killed in utero. That is where the persecution comes. And so now we're at this place where we actually have to stand for not just the truth about the nature of God, we have to stand for the truth about the nature of what it means to be a human. That is where all of this controversy is going to come. And I'm grateful for these MLB players because they showed, no, you do not get to encroach on my convictions. You can't force it down my throat. And this is actually a skill that we need to be modeling for our children. Talk about shepherding. We need to be shepherding our children to know when to defy. And that's going to be a huge question. You know, we attended the graduation for our son last week. He graduated from a woke public Seattle Christian school. And it was interesting because they played the national anthem at the graduation and then they had a girl sing Lift every voice and sing. Now, this is something that they commonly do at his school, but when it's not in front of the parents, they'll say, let's do the national anthem. And then we're going to hear from the black national anthem. And so my son will often sit down during the black national anthem and he'll be one of the only ones that do because he says, we do not have two national anthems. We have one national anthem. And it speaks for everybody. So when I saw that they were going to do lift every voice and sing, he was on the stage in the front row right in front of me. I was. My family were in the middle row right in front of him. And I thought, oh, crap, if they called this the black national anthem, he is going to sit down and so are we. They didn't because they knew that there was going to be a backlash if they said it in front of the parents. But I knew that he was ready and we were ready to do it with him. Heads up, people. That is the kind of world that you are training your children in. Stay with us. We're going to be back in just a minute with more headlines.
- [15:02]
A
Welcome back to them before us on American family Radio.
- [15:06]
B
We're back at them before us radio. I am Katie Foust, founder and president of them before us here with executive director Josh Wood. And we are going to give you an awful lot of information about gay marriage next week because this Friday is the 11th anniversary of the Obergefell vs Hodges Supreme Court decision that mandated gay marriage across the country. And then before us is spearheading a national coalition to overturn gay marriage. And we want to give dedicate an entire show to it because it has so radically altered the landscape of marriage and family culturally and legally that we want you to be experts. We want you to know more about this than all of your friends. We're going to dedicate an entire show to it. So now what we want to do is we want to talk about dads because it's father's Day this weekend. And I will tell you, dads get so much hate. It's, it actually infuriates me because we have diminished dads for so long, long in our sitcoms, in all of the jokes, in the comedy sessions, we have diminished them as it relates to sort of the cultural talking points. And the reality is dads are doing more than ever these days and they are still getting trashed. So Josh actually wrote a pretty fantastic article on our substack. If you guys have not been to the them before us substack, that is a place where we try to really fortify and equip you. But there has been some pretty amazing data that has come out as it relates to dads and what it is that they do for kids that even previous generations of dads didn't do. So Josh, tell us a little bit about this data and why we need to be praising dads, not trashing them.
- [17:01]
C
Well, there is, it's, as Brad Wilcox from the General Time Use Survey did, talk about how much work dads are doing. And this tends to be, it should be noted, this tends to be when both parents are working. The total work dads are doing is actually slightly more than moms when you take into account paid work, unpaid work, domestic, you know, all the different things, elder care, child care. When the, I believe when the dad is working and the mom is not, the mom actually does a little bit more work. When, when the mom works and the dad doesn't is actually funny. The dad almost does. I mean, it's, he's getting crushed. It's almost like double really. The one where it's not shared equally at all is where the dad is the stay at home dad, which I just think is, is a fascinating point of fact. Now what I wrote about in this article though was, you know, how dads really are mocked in pop culture. How, how that there is this myth of the do nothing dad. There is a million Instagram, there are a million Instagram reels that talk about the, this incredible load. The mom always car. The dad is this, you know, worthless idiot. And I hope he doesn't watch my Instagram, you know, because I'm having to think about the dishwasher. And he actually walked by the trash can today. Can you believe that? I have to talk to my million followers about it and I, I found it fascinating. I got a, you know, our youngest is about a little over one year old right now and we got a survey from the hospital that said how, how were you treated? Were you treated with care and respect from the nursing staff while you were in the hospital. And this was sent to my wife and I, and I started to think back on my experiences. Not just that birth, but the four times that we had been in the hospital where my wife had given birth to our children, and we'd had a range of births. My oldest had a pretty traumatic birth. The last one was very easy, all things considered, especially compared to that first one. But there was a couple things that stuck out to me. One of them was how even in the eight years, how it had really transitioned from, you know, maybe you're the man, the husband, the dad, to almost universal use of this word support person. Now, Katie, you're in Seattle, so Maybe this is 15, 20 years ago that this was universal. But in Carolina, that wasn't the case. We didn't use support. Now it's support person. Actually, like, you know, emblazoned on the board where they write the names mom and dad is gone. It's now mom and support person. And even in the, the latest situation, too, when we actually went into the hospital, you know, my wife checks in, I'm with her. I mean, I'm carrying the bags, right? She's nine months pregnant. And no one looked at me. No one addressed me. The nurses come out and they say, let's show you to your room. I'm walking behind. She's got a ring on her finger. Like, again, they don't want to make assumptions, I guess, because they don't want to possibly offend somebody. But we get to the room, it's 10 minutes before anyone says anything to me. And look, I'm not saying this situation's about me, but when you get to the point where in the room, she says, and who is that? And points to me while looking at my wife, I mean, that's just like disrespectful behavior. She goes, that's my husband. She goes to the board and under support person, writes my name and continues to refer to me in the third person or referring to me as support person or your support, instead of using the language of husband. It's, it just gets to the point where I'll share one last story. This is like, you know, I, I, I joke with our staff that this stuff is what gets me roasted online. But we all know about the couches, the terrible recliner you sleep in, or the couch that's three feet long the dad sleeps in. Look, we're not having the worst experience in the delivery room, right? Our wives are giving birth. It is a miracle. They are heroes. But that night, right before my wife is going to go into labor the next day. The nurses come in to do medication, right. And check on her and all that stuff. They turn on all the lights, and my wife goes, hey, my husband's sleeping. Can you turn him off? And I wake up, they don't know I'm awake. They start laughing, and they say to her, you don't have to. Like, we're good. He can handle it. He's a big boy. She goes, nah, he's like, it.
- [21:27]
E
I.
- [21:27]
C
He works hard. Like, he's. He probably doesn't need to. We don't both need to be miserable. He's not nine months pregnant. Can you turn the lights off? And she goes, are you serious? It's like basic levels of human decency. The lights didn't need to be on. There was no reason for that. And yet this nurse was trying to act like there was some girl club here. Between you and me, we all know he. He can handle it. He's a big boy. If he's. If I'm gonna be miserable, you're gonna be miserable type of vibe instead of, like, what my wife's spirit is why I'm married to her, which is, yeah, I love and care for my husband, and he's a part of this. And so I'll stop there. I have. I have some other thoughts. But, Katie, I don't know. Not. Not to age you. It's been a while since you were in that situation. Your kids are growing up, but I. I wonder, is this something that's changed over time to this new generation of people? Or. Or is this something that's kind of always existed when it comes to moms and dads and giving birth?
- [22:21]
B
Well, you know, my reflections are fighting nurses on different things. So I just. Like some. There's been good nurses, but then there. There was very much a. A power battle going on in the delivery room. So for a variety of reasons, all I can say is thank God for husbands who can be on your side and enforce what it is that, you know that matters. No, do not take my child away and give them. Them that shot. No, I actually don't want the epidural. You know, like, I needed somebody else. I needed a support person, but what I needed was them to list my husband. What I most regret is that it makes it sound like you're a dog. You know, this is my support animal, and it. It really is. I don't want to say dehumanizing, but it is marginalizing. And they do that for a reason.
- [23:06]
E
Right?
- [23:07]
B
And it is that Whole anti dad narrative. So I'm really glad that you are bringing attention to this because I think it resonates with a lot of dads. And here's the thing about men. They don't need somebody to be like, oh, these poor guys. Oh, look what happened. But you know what? Some acknowledgement of the fact that they are not being treated equally is really important. We have all kinds of women people that are championing the cause of women and girls. But the reality is men are struggling. Men are struggling, they are receiving fewer degrees, they're dropping out of the workforce, they are opting out of the dating market. They are being so derided that many of them feel useless and worthless. And they're told that anything that comes naturally to them, their competitiveness, their aggressiveness, that it's a toxicity, it's a form of toxicity. And that's terrible because we need good, strong men. And as Jordan Peterson used to say, if you're worried about strong men, just wait till you see the terror that will arrive when weak men take over. And that is true. You know, this epidemic of weak men, of men that are aimless, worthless, they are going to destroy things in ways that your supposed toxic men never will.
- [24:17]
C
Well, it's interesting you brought up the medical decisions, because that was another one you. Obviously, we're a team like this. We have a whole plan. We, we talk about what we want for our children, who, again, there's this weird narrative in society today that until the baby comes out, that's. That's the mom's child and not yours and I, which. It's a good plug for marriage, right? That, like you, you want to be with someone, that you have the utmost confidence. We shouldn't even have to say this.
- [24:49]
A
It's.
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C
It's crazy that I do. The womb can be in America today, one of the most unsafe places for a child. Depending on the ideology of the person, depending on the state you're in, there are literally millions of children that meet their end in the womb of a mother. That is a horrific statement, and I hate to say it, but it really gets down to even who you're marrying, that if that woman does not, that you are choosing to build a life with and build a family with. If she isn't, if you don't know her values, if you're not married to her, if you're not like that, how, how crazy that you would put your most precious possession. I mean, we've all seen the videos of dads who lost children to abortion. They didn't Want wrecked by that. It's like you, this is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make is that you find a woman who values you equally and understands this isn't my child, this is just as much his child and we have a duty to protect him together. And yes, a woman has an absolutely sacred, irreplaceable role in all this, to bring life into this world. But to say that even when we went through the medical decisions, I couldn't get them to give me an update on my child. When our baby, something was wrong, they talked to her. I asked questions, they completely ignore me. Talk to her, I'm like, wait a second, this is insane. And now you take it to the real right. This is where it all distills down. What happens if I'm not a confident married father? What if I am a single man got a girl pregnant who is really trying to decide if this fatherhood thing is for me? I feel awkward. It's already an all female room. I'm being degraded, I'm being cast aside, I'm being mocked, I'm being. And then I'm genuinely concerned about my kid and, and they're making me feel like I don't have a voice, I don't have a part to play. I'm not valued, I'm not wanted. What does that communicate to me? Am I an equal part partner in this process? Am I equally necessary to this child going forward? Or do I feel like, look, I'm really an optional accessory, someone here to just support mom as she takes care of her baby? I just think in a time where every societal ill seems to be linked back to where's the deadbeat dad? Why isn't dad here? Why are we taking away from dad one of the most intensely emotional bonding experiences for him too, which is watching his child be born. When you hold that for the first time, your brain rewires. I mean you, you from that moment will make more money than you ever have in your life statistically. You will stay out of trouble, literally. Your rates of violent crime will go down, your substance abuse use will go down like it changes your whole brain and body. And yet we are taking this moment to diminish them, to set them aside. I again, even if we're just talking strategically as a society, treating dads as optional in this process is to our own peril.
- [28:10]
B
There was a huge uproar online over the last couple weeks about New York. New York is scrubbing the words mother and father from their parenthood statutes. And why are they doing that, because what you cannot identify, you cannot defend. And that is the point. The point is to make fathers optional legally, which they've already been sort of in process for years. But now they also want to make mothers optional, right, in the name of gay rights, because some children don't have mothers, according to them. And so they're replacing the word mother with gestating parent, and they're replacing the word father with non gestating parent. And why are they doing this? It's because they regard children not as humans, with rights to the two people who made them. They regard children as widgets to be assigned to be plugged in to whatever kind of family unit the state deems to be acceptable. Contractually. That's what's going on. And so there was a huge outroar. You know, how can the Democrats, how can Kathy Hochul sign this bill making mothers and fathers optional? And I wrote at the Washington examiner this week, don't blame Kathy Hochul for this. Blame gay marriage. It all came from gay marriage, right? Everything that you're talking about, Josh, is exacerbated through gay marriage. Because what did gay marriage communicate? It communicates that men and women are optional in the family. It communicates that husbands and wives are optional to marriage, and therefore mothers and fathers are optional to parentage. And so this is just the logical extension of gay marriage. So in that piece at the Washington Examiner, I sort of tracked the timeline. 2015, the Supreme Court legalizes gay marriage. 2017, we see Arkansas saying that two women can be on a child's birth certificate, legally erasing the child's father at the moment of birth. We see the rewriting of parenthood statutes through the Uniform Parentage act. That scrubs everything of gendered language, scrubs our law of gendered language, normalizes commercial surrogacy, ratifies the buying and selling of children's genetic mother or father and renting of their birth mother, and then creating these pathways for unrelated adults to acquire children without the protections that either biology or adoption afford to kids. So New York passed that update to their parenthood statute in 2021, and now they're just making sure that the rest of their law aligns. So we've got to get really serious, people. What does all of this mean? We need to get serious about defending moms and dads. We need to stand up for them individually. When hospitals, you know, want to say that they are a support person, not the father, we need to say, hey, I am here to support, but I am not just a random guy. Who is here? I am the father of this child. I am responsible for 50% of its existence, and I'm 100% responsible for protecting that baby and this woman here. And we're on the same page. But it also means getting involved in policy. It also means speaking up when something happens in your state where they seek to erase or marginalize one of a child's two critical people, their own mother or father. This is a time for advocacy, and we are going to help you do that. At end the them before us. Up next, we've got Jen and Sam talking about some of the questions and the objections that they have seen to our content online. And I promise you, you're going to have a great time. Stay with us.
- [32:01]
A
If you'd like to comment on the show, email comments@thembebeforeus.com hey everyone.
- [32:08]
D
Welcome to Here for the Comments, a Them Before Us podcast series where we dive into the comments and questions we get online and unpack the children's rights perspective we use to answer them. I'm your host, Jen, and I'm joined by Sam. And we are here for the comments. We're gonna go over some of our favorite dads in media, TV shows, maybe books. And Sam and I both kind of made a list of the ones that we liked. And so we'll just bring them up to each other and see how much time we get and talk about dad. So start us off, Sam. What who's a dad in literature? TV shows that you liked growing up or maybe your kids are watching.
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E
Okay, so I didn't, I was just kind of thinking like randomly. So this is not in any order. These aren't like the top ones that I have, but just ones that came to mind. Old TV show that I used to watch, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, they had Philip Banks. And I like that one because you get to see him like as a dad, but you also get to see him like in a fatherly role to somebody who's not his son. And I feel like that's such a dad thing to do is like also be a father for people who don't have fathers, for kids who don't have fathers. And yeah, I just, I really liked that show growing up. So I felt like that was a good one.
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D
I remember a scene where Will Smith's character, his dad is coming and going or something. I don't know if he comes and Will Smith thinks, like, I'm going to get, he's going to take me with him or we're going to kind of have this restored relationship. And I think the dad, like, either asks for money or is ready to leave. It's like, okay, bye. You're having a great time. And Will Smith, his character, I don't even know his name in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Fresh Prince, he's like, kind of lamenting to his uncle, like, well, first he starts off like, I don't even care. Whatever. It's the same difference to me. I don't need a dad. And then he starts crying. He's like, why doesn't he want me? And his uncle just, like, takes him in his arms and is acknowledging his loss, his grief. The uncle knows, I can't replace what you're missing. But he does take on himself to be that figure for Will Smith. So that's an awesome, awesome one to start us off with. All right. This is a pretty easy one for people who are into like, the kids movies or grew up watching this. But Marlon from Finding Nemo is such an incredible picture of a dad. Actually, he kind of avoids the trope that a lot of the movies and TV shows do that make dads look really stupid. They make them kind of look subservient to the mom, submissive to the mom, pathetic. They don't know what they're doing. Marlon is not a figure like that. Marlon becomes a single dad because the mom dies tragically. It's portrayed as a tragedy. But Marlon is caring for his son as a single dad. He's very involved. He's, you know, helps get him to school. He's helping, trying to alleviate his fears. And then when something happens to Nemo, Marlin's the entire, entire story is this journey of Marlon going to find his son. And, you know, super wonderful. I mean, it's when you're lost. We see a lot of movies where the kid is trying to find the parent. It's actually really cool to see that flipped. Like, the parent loves their child so much, they're doing everything they can crossing oceans to find them.
- [35:23]
E
I like that one that you picked because obviously, like, I would watch Finding Nemo as a kid and you would relate more to Nemo and be like, oh, that would be such an adventure. And like, he just wants to go do whatever he wants to do. And, like, I get it. And then you watch it as in a grown up with your kids, and you're just like, oh, the dad's always right. Why are these parents always right? Okay. And if we are talking about animation Pongo from 101 Dalmatians, that's the top of my head. I thought he was such a good. Like, both of the parents were just, like, ready to do whatever it took to save their kids. I loved Pongo. I feel like he was just like a good dad. And remember, like, when one of the puppies just got really cold and didn't want to keep walking and he just picked him up and he was just carrying him. It was so cute. Yeah, that's a good one.
- [36:12]
D
Can you imagine having a hundred kids? Oh, my gosh. Okay. Another animated one that, I mean, everyone loves, especially if you're a millennial, is Mufasa from the Lion King. I think what's awesome about this is, is he's portrayed as this very fair, good hearted leader, very strong. He's in charge. Like, there's no question of him being weak or not, that his word isn't the law for, like, this. The, you know, he's the king, obviously. But he's also portrayed as very loving and kind and fair. Like in how he treats his brother. Right. Scar, who's trying to take over everything and sacrifices his life for his son. You know, so there's obviously this beautiful picture of parental fatherly love and sacrifice. And it's kind of reminiscent of what's the movie? Black Panther. When they go, the sons go out into the night and kind of try to interact with their father in the night sky. Like they're still longing for him even though something has happened to him in his dead.
- [37:20]
E
Yep, that is a really good one. He's so majestic. Another one I had listed. Okay. My first exposure to trans ideology. You're like, where is this going, Mrs. Doubtfire. So the dad, not really trans, but the dad, Mrs. Doubtfire. I think it was Daniel Hilliard in. In the show. I think his name was Daniel.
- [37:44]
D
He played by Robin Williams.
- [37:46]
E
Yes. You know what?
- [37:48]
D
Like, why does he do that?
- [37:49]
C
That.
- [37:50]
E
What is it? Why does he sweat? Oh, you don't remember? Okay.
- [37:53]
D
I don't think I've seen that movie.
- [37:54]
E
Okay. Okay. I have a lot of thoughts about this movie. So basically he's a dad and he's just. He goofs around too much. All right, the mom is correct in this where he takes things way too far and he's not, like, reliable and that kind of thing. So, like, I guess her final straws. He threw a party for his kids and invited a bunch of, like, farm animals and, like, animals. And they live very, I think, in Seattle, but like, on a very busy street. And so, like, you have like, this. She's trying to do pony rides in the middle of the street, and the cars are honking at him, trying to get by, and it's just, like, chaos. And there's animals all over their house. And she walks in, and the wife is like, I want a divorce. And he was obviously traumatized because he was in love, he was happy. He loves his kids, but, like, I guess he was just really immature. So they get a divorce, she leaves him, she takes the kids. And then, like, they basically decided that, like, he didn't have a good enough situation where he was living and stuff to keep the kids because he didn't really have a solid house and things like that to care for the kids. So then basically, she wanted full custody. She felt like he was, like, you know, just not reliable or safe. And he was so heartbroken that he basically decided he's gonna dress up as a nanny so he could go spend time with his own kids. She hired him. And then it's like this goofy plotline. And I will say, I. I might be controversial, but, like, she was so cruel to him. And, like, she just, like, Was just like, I want a divorce. And it's like, what? Like, you don't leave somebody over them being a little too goofy, like, work it out, you know? But anyway, it was just the idea that, like, time with his kids was so important to him that he was willing to do, quite literally, whatever it took to get it. And I thought that was. That's a good dad.
- [39:39]
D
Yeah.
- [39:39]
E
Yep.
- [39:39]
D
Well, and we're not excusing actual irresponsible behavior that we see in the movies, but it is an interesting thing to consider that dads are more likely to play with kids. They're probably more likely to be goofy, to be engaging in the actual game or climbing the tree with them or hanging off the balcony or doing whatever. And moms. We talk about this a lot. Moms are more likely to try to make sure you're safe and be playing together. Make sure you're in the yard where I can see you. No, I do not want you playing with fire, you know, et cetera, et cetera.
- [40:13]
E
Yeah.
- [40:14]
D
I don't remember if we told this story on the radio before, but when Katie was in Pennsylvania, speaking at a school, she was talking to elementary kids, and she asked the group, it's a few hundred in the. In the gym. She asked them, you know, why. What's different between a mom and a dad? Like, why are moms more likely to tell you to eat your vegetables? And a little boy said to Katie, and then she repeated into the microphone, he said, dads are for fun and moms keep you safe. And she's like, there you go. You summed it up into what a PhD is trying to study. And she's like, dads are the ones at the pool trying to see how far they can launch you, how high they can launch you, how far, flipping you, throwing you over and over and over. Moms are the one making sure you don't drown. So that's the difference and the compliment of a mom and a dad. They're working together. And that's not to say dads don't want to keep you safe, but I think they're also looking at external threats. But they want to push you, challenge you, they want competition, et cetera. And we need the balance. That's why a child deserves both mommy and dad, because you need that balance.
- [41:20]
E
I also think that their version of keeping their kids safe is them being like, oh, I want my kid to be ready for anything, especially a dad with boys where it's like, I need them to grow up tough and strong and they can take it because life is hard and I want them to be prepared. So that's his version of, like, keeping them safe. Because I'm definitely like that. I told him, I said, I'm not teaching our kids how to drive. It's not happening. I'm too stressed. You're. You're going to have to do that. And he's like, excited for it. So.
- [41:47]
D
Yeah, that's awesome. Okay. Another one I thought about was. I don't know if I can say his name. Karatekis Potts. Do you know who that is? Carrick.
- [41:57]
E
Is that from Harry Potter?
- [41:59]
D
No, that. This one is Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Is this like a millennial movie?
- [42:06]
E
Yeah. No, no, jt, Bing Bang is an old movie.
- [42:09]
D
Like, no, I know, but like, I grew up watching it. Have you seen.
- [42:12]
E
I did grow up watching it because my grandma see another.
- [42:17]
D
Like, we have this on vhs, I guess. Pretty sure. So it's another old one where it's a single dad because the mom dies of tragedy and he really cares for his children, but it's also a free range situation. But the thing that's great about him as a dad is it's more of the imagination, the whimsical whimsy ness of it all and really pushing them to think outside the box, to be challenged by new things. And then he's like, you know, they go on these grand adventures together, which is pretty cool.
- [42:49]
E
Love it. So I actually just thought of the best dad it's gonna top all of them. And I. I'll be disappointed if you don't know this quote. Are you ready? I will find you and I will kill you. Do you know what that's from?
- [43:05]
D
I've never seen it. But it's taken.
- [43:08]
E
How have you never seen Taken?
- [43:09]
D
I have a very special set of skills.
- [43:12]
C
Yes.
- [43:12]
E
I'm so glad you at least know the quote. But that, that speaks to how great this dad is that you literally know this dad outside of seeing the movie. Brian Mills, he's the dad. And taken. His daughter called him from. I think she was like in, in France or Paris or somewhere across the ocean. And she basically, somebody had broken into their flat because she was being very unsafe and gave her address away to strangers. And they came and they abducted her friend first and she watched it happen through the window. And she's on the phone with her dad and she said, they're coming for me now. And I guess he has like a background in. I don't even know. Again, this is why I can't watch movies because I'm like the FBI, the police, I don't know what he's in Secret Service. He's in something very important. And yeah, he basically just like listens as his daughter is taken and he's telling her like, I want you to yell out as much of a description as you can, like what shirt, what does he look like, what is he, any marks on him, things like that, tattoos. And so she's just like screaming and the phone's under the, the, under the bed. And then the guy, the bad guy gets the phone and he lifts it up and this dad is like, oh gosh, I feel like that deserved so many awards because it's like every parent can relate where it's like, I mean, I don't have a special set of skills that could find my kid, but I would make those skills. I would find them. So yeah, that's. That was like one of the best dads. You've got to watch that movie.
- [44:39]
D
Oh man. I don't like scary stuff.
- [44:43]
E
I mean, it's scary, but it's not. It's more of like a, like a thriller or an investigation. It's not like, like boo. Scary. You know, nothing's popping out at you.
- [44:53]
D
Yeah, I like the Incredibles dad.
- [44:57]
B
What is his name?
- [44:58]
E
That's a good one.
- [44:59]
D
But it's kind of like we talk about. They really do make him look pretty inept in a lot of ways. I mean, he's stuck in a dead end job. He's used to being a big superhero, but I think he learns they kind of have him grow over time that, you know, taking care of your family is being a superhero and. But they get to do it together. I think is the main cool thing about the movie is that as a family, they're serving together. And I loved the Incredibles. It was a good movie.
- [45:24]
E
I love the Incredibles.
- [45:26]
D
It's definitely that depiction of a dad that's, like, sort of, like, chill. And the mom's just the one who always knows what's going on and is bossing everyone around. And she made it into our moms and media post last time as well.
- [45:37]
E
So one final mom, one final dad. Oh, so Darth Vader. I don't know anything about Star wars, to be honest. All I know is, Luke, I am your father. And I'm pretty sure he's actually a bad dad. But you said he comes back around, so you're gonna have to explain to the audience that doesn't know.
- [45:57]
D
Yes. So someone actually. He was in our little clip about sons searching for their fathers that we played earlier at Father's Day week, and someone was like, oh, how dare you put Darth Vader in there? Because Darth Vader's the worst. And. Well, the answer is, it's not that Darth Vader's not the worst. We're not even. Just like, he's conflicted. Whatever. No, he's the worst. He's like a genocidal maniac. The point of that little clip was Luke still wants to know who he is. Luke thinks, Remember, he's told by Obi Wan Kenobi. Maybe you don't know this. He's told by this old guru guy, darth Vader killed your father. So that's what he goes into the scenario dealing with him. And then Darth Vader basically says, no, I didn't kill him. I am your father.
- [46:42]
E
What a twist.
- [46:43]
D
Yes. I mean, the twins are taken away to protect them from him. But what I'm saying how it comes around is once Darth Vader knows who Luke is and Luke knows who he is, Luke's refusal to turn to the dark side. Darth Vader brings him to the Emperor. Come on, like, turn everything over and take the power. Let's go. We can rule the universe together, father and son. And Luke refuses to do it. The Emperor is killing him, and Luke is calling for his dad to save him. And Darth Vader turns. I mean, he's been dedicated to this emperor guy for. If you're into the prequels almost his whole life, but because his son is being killed by this guy, Darth Vader sacrifices his own life, kills the Emperor, and dies in the pro. I mean, gets fried in the process to save his son's life. So it's a redemptive moment in a pretty bad arc of this guy's story. And then I guess he ends up in Jedi heaven because he's, like, standing there glowing with all the other Jedi who've passed on.
- [47:45]
E
So.
- [47:45]
D
I know, don't. I don't really know how their atonement situation works, but he turned to the good side at the end.
- [47:51]
E
He's the thief on the cross, you know, There you go.
- [47:54]
D
He wraps up our fathers in media. Not because he was good all the time, but he did sacrifice himself in a final moment for his son.
- [48:02]
A
So.
- [48:03]
D
All right, well, that's all the time we have. Thanks for joining us on here for the comments. Hope you enjoyed it, and we will see you next time.
- [48:12]
B
The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast do not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.