Session 113: Crossfaded with Mau P

Summary

Therapuss with Jake Shane

Session 113: Crossfaded with Mau P

April 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Therapuss features host Jake Shane in conversation with Dutch DJ and producer Mau P (Maurits Westveen). The session is energetic and intimate, blending irreverent humor, personal storytelling, and deep-dive therapy-adjacent moments. With both host and guest indulging in legal vices (weed, tequila), the tone is candid, sometimes crossfaded, and always engaging. The episode covers Mau P’s musical journey, creativity, spirituality, personal struggles, and plenty of playful banter—plus a healthy dose of listener-submitted drama for "Tell Me What’s Wrong."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meet Mau P: Origins, Amsterdam Roots, and DJ Culture

[09:09]

• Jake asks, “What do you want me to call you? Mou or Mau P?”
  Mau P: “Mau. My birth name is Maurits.”
• Mau P shares that he loves Amsterdam, but admits, "I get very affected by the weather."
• Strong dislike for LA’s culture, but loves the weather (“No, I hate LA. But the weather is nice.” [09:33])
• Mau P’s favorite city is Barcelona.
  Jake: “You want to go?”
  Mau P: “Right now.”

[10:18]

• Mau P’s favorite “drug from Amsterdam” is ecstasy; he discusses purity and strength of substances there.
• Explains difference between ecstasy (pill) and molly (crystal): "Ecstasy is, like, the pressed pill and molly is the crystal." [10:25]

2. Creativity, Pressure & Success

[13:09]

• Mau P hit success after a “quarter-life crisis.” He says his breakout “Drugs From Amsterdam” came when there was “no pressure.”

  “I was being stressed about getting older… I have to make something of myself… and then the Drugs from Amsterdam song came.” – Mau P [13:06]

• Discusses following up with new music, feeling less pressure because of a backlog of music.

3. Relationship with Fame, Online Life, and Boundaries

[14:39]

• Both talk about being “chronically online” and their love/hate relationships with social media.

  “I hate my phone.” – Mau P [14:44]

• Mau P describes industry relationships:

  “It all started with business, so it’s hard to tell… Also, everyone’s nice to me, so it’s hard for me to tell.” [14:46]

• Mau P candidly admits to enjoying eating ass ("Why not?" [15:33/15:41]), drawing out an embarrassed and giggling Jake.

4. Spirituality & Signs

[23:00]

• Jake and Mau P vibe over being Scorpios, both describing themselves as spiritual.

  “I like to believe.” – Mau P [10:47] “I believe there’s a higher power telling me this, that, and the third.” – Jake [23:09] Mau P, not hung up on astrology, describes relying on “energy” and gut feelings—he “just goes with it.” [23:26]

5. Music, Career, and Album Reveal

[49:15]

• Mau P reveals the process and emotional meaning behind his upcoming album’s title:

  “My dad’s name is Gerbrand. He passed away when I was 18… And so the, like, an anagram I had of his name is rebrand.” [51:23]
  “I chose the G as the first word, which is going to be Generation Rebrands… Every time I look at those words, I see my dad's name.” [51:32]

• Discusses struggle with deadlines and public accountability via social media.

6. The Sweet Spot: Friendship, Community, and Therapy

[34:42]

• Jake, Louise, and Mau P muse on the boundaries of friendship and work.
• Sweet affirmations between Jake and Louise highlight the importance of respect and clear boundaries in close working friendships.

  “She’s just really good at separating her work life and her personal life, but, like, still maintaining a really beautiful and honest relationship with me.” – Jake [35:00]

7. Listener Drama: "Tell Me What’s Wrong"

[61:00+]
Several audience dilemmas are addressed (“the pussies call in” [61:00]):

• Friend always asking “what’s wrong?” – advice is to be direct about boundaries [64:53]
• Betrayal at a concert: “I was blackout drunk… best friend left me for a guy.” Mau P: “Tell her.” [66:23]
• Sister brings boyfriend on a trip: “Sometimes you have to be selfish in life. It sucks.” [68:08]
• Roommate with destructive tendencies: “Say ‘Bitch, it’s not hereditary. You broke my shit. Pay up.’” – Jake [70:48]
• Roommate voyeurism: “Act like a spy, get out calmly and professionally.” [78:51]
• Discussing listener follow-ups; how rewarding it is when fans say podcast advice made a difference [72:06]

8. Shared Escapes: TV, Pop Culture, and Music Fandoms

[30:00+]

• Taylor Swift stanship: Jake delivers a heartfelt, detailed case for Taylor Swift’s appeal

  “Once you get it, you get it… you can listen to it again and again and apply it to your life because it is so universal…” [31:05] Mau P shares similar childhood passion for Ronaldinho (“mystique” as a connective thread in fandom) [32:15]

• Discussion of TV binging (“Homeland,” “Mr. Robot,” “Sopranos,” “Entourage,” “Dark”).
• Musical favorites—Don Toliver, Mac Miller, Robbie Robb, Sarah Kinsley—are recommended.

9. The Critical Absurd: Retail Therapy & The Little Things

[25:01]

• Both admit: “shopping makes me feel better.”
• Mau P shares his "therapist" gripe:

  “A lot of hotels don’t have one button to turn off all the lights… it’s so annoying.” – Mau P [53:14]
  Jake celebrates “master off” switches as a joy of travel.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “I’m so proud of you, Brad. P R. 306. 306.” – Jake, on friend’s marathon [02:23]
• “Are you toxic?” – Mau P. “Yeah.” – Jake. “Are you?” “No.” “Not at all?” [10:53]
• “Would you eat ass? Would you regularly, like, breakfast?” – Mau P [15:23]
• “I want to go to your set and I want you to take me on a fucking journey.” – Jake [17:59]
• On Taylor Swift:

  “She’s really that girl. Like, I don’t know what to say. Like, she really is that.” – Jake [31:54]

• “My actual name is Jake Therapist Shane III.” – Jake (mock-grandiosity) [23:43]
• “Online is my job.” – Jake (on the difficulty reducing screen time) [40:19]
• “These are some really annoying, like, situations, though, for people. Yeah, but you get a new batch every week. Actual people send in this.” – Mau P [71:10]
• “Music is like an escape, you know? For me, it is. That's what Taylor Swift is for me. An escape.” – Jake [72:45]
• “You’re awesome… and you need to change that wall.” – Mau P (closing) [83:01]

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Notable & Fun Segments with Timestamps

• [15:19]: Mau P playfully presses Jake on ass-eating ("Would you regularly, like, breakfast?")
• [49:15–52:39]: Mau P’s album title reveal: “Generation Rebrands” (and the story of honoring his father)
• [53:14]: Minor hotel inconveniences become therapy topics—“the master off switch” saga.
• [61:00–72:26]: "Tell Me What's Wrong" call-ins dissected, with honest and snarky therapy-by-committee
• [80:04]: Share favorite new music recommendations (Don Toliver ft. ATM/E85 / Sarah Kinsley)
• [82:46]: Ode to “Entourage”—Mau P asserts it’s a cultural must, “similar to your life, I think.”

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Tone & Dynamics

• The episode is fast-moving, funny, and highly personal.
• Jake’s style mixes self-deprecation, pop culture mania, and big-hearted affirmations.
• Mau P blends dry wit, European directness, and surprising vulnerability.
• Candid talk about substances, relationships, and anxieties, balanced by warm humor and mutual support.

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Conclusion

[83:38–84:15]
Jake ends on a note of gratitude, admitting the session lifted him out of a bad headspace:

“I've really enjoyed myself and found joy in my day because of you.” — Jake [84:01]

Mau P, in a rare sentimental tone, affirms the connection and learning ("You're awesome... and you need to change that wall." [83:01]), wrapping up a uniquely crossfaded, restorative, and laughter-filled episode.

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Highly recommended for fans of open-book creative therapy, music industry insights, and chaos-magic podcast chemistry.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, sorry to interrupt your playlist, but real quick. This might be better than music.

[B]

We're talking free stuff. Yep. Actually free.

[A]

Just download TikTok, search free, pick items

[B]

you want, share the link, and watch

[A]

the price drop to zero. Your song will be waiting. Your free Items won't open TikTok and start slashing now.

[B]

Sorry, Nolan is not here, so just had to figure out how to turn on this podcast equipment out of our element. Yeah, a little.

[A]

A little.

[B]

Hi.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Hi.

[C]

We've been a part.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Pulpo.

[B]

Yes. Mocho. Brett's mom got me a few shirts. Where'd she get them?

[C]

Madrid.

[B]

She has. She. Brett's mom went to Madrid and got me a few shirts that are very cute, and I keep saying I'm wearing them. And Brett's like, really? And I'm like, yes. No, I. I've been. I've been wearing them everywhere. So. Mocho, thank you. Thanks, Mom. Do you want to talk about Tokyo?

[C]

I. I would love to.

[B]

Let's talk about it.

[C]

Well, it was such a wonderful day. I just. I was so happy.

[B]

Wait, before, how mad do you think no one's gonna be that we all figured this out?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I think he's gonna be mad. He might.

[A]

He'll be impressed.

[C]

I think he might be like, whoa, nice.

[B]

Now I think he's gonna be like, what? I think he's gonna be confused.

[C]

Tokyo was everything in war. Especially after, you know, how Chicago went, which I came on and talked about that.

[B]

We figured it out.

[D]

I really do just kind of press

[B]

a button, don't we? Are you surprised?

[D]

No, I'm not surprised. I knew the grift would be over soon.

[B]

What grift?

[D]

But I just press buttons.

[B]

Okay, so tell me about Tokyo.

[C]

Well, I mean, it just. I was so happy because I really, like, changed how I was gonna look at this race. And I really, like, did it for my. Myself. And I was, like, off my phone the morning of. Like, I wasn't posting. Like, I was hardly even responding to people. And I'm just, like, really proud of myself.

[B]

You should be. I was so proud of you. I am so proud of you, Brad. P R. 306. 306.

[C]

And Jake was texting Max for updates the whole race, which meant a lot to me, and I just am so happy.

[B]

And then you flew back to LA and then saw me on closing night of Broadway.

[C]

Yeah, and it was perfect. I was so happy.

[B]

We had such a good time.

[C]

I mean, I'm like, honestly, talk about good timing. The fact that like, you know, I could come and come back and see that.

[B]

Did you enjoy Tokyo as a whole?

[C]

I loved it. And you had just been.

[B]

And how good was the. The wonon soup I told you about?

[C]

We stayed at the same hotel for Jake stayed there too. And the won soup for breakfast actually was unreal.

[B]

I told you. Yeah, like that good?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was amazing.

[C]

Yeah, it was amazing. So. Yeah. It honestly feels like it was a long time ago. I guess it was a month ago. March is almost over already, which is crazy.

[B]

And you enjoy this march?

[C]

Well, I.

[B]

Well, yeah. You PR in a marathon, so. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. But it's honestly been really busy and just. And you've been like gone and I've been like lonely, so I get so

[B]

lonely here when you're not here. I can't even imagine when I'm not here and you.

[C]

And you've been gone a lot.

[B]

A lot. But I'm back. All of April.

[C]

Thank goodness.

[B]

All of April. Why do I feel like. Why do I feel so brain dead right now?

[C]

Because cuz you've had a busy week and weekend. Like you just got.

[B]

I saw Paul McCartney. I mean, you saying that was just.

[C]

How was the Justin concert?

[B]

I feel like I, I was. I got to see two intimate shows of like superstars.

[C]

Well, you did.

[B]

Paul McCartney was just like back to back. I called my dad the next morning and was like, I just saw Paul McCartney like in an intimate show. I mean, and I saw him perform hey Jude.

[C]

That's once in a lifetime.

[B]

Let it be. And I like had like. And I couldn't use my phone. Like they like, there was no phones and no photos. So like I was, I had to be in the moment. Not that I wouldn't be, but like I'm addicted to my phone. And so like when he was doing Let It Be and like. And the whole like room was just like, so in was like one of the most beautiful moments of my entire life. When he did hey Jude, he was like, like, like now the boys sing like, nah, nah, nah. And then the girls would sing and then everyone sang together and it was like.

[C]

I love that.

[B]

It was like I felt like I was, I was witnessing like something historic for sure. That's how I felt. I was like, this is. I can't believe I wrote. I journaled about it. That's amazing because I didn't want to forget it. I didn't want to forget how special this weekend was to me. And then I saw Justin Bieber last night and that was also his voice. Brett he has never sounded better.

[C]

He's so good.

[B]

He's never, ever, ever, ever sounded better. He. It was so beautiful.

[C]

I honestly, I love a no phones. And I have been trying to reduce my screen time.

[B]

What the fuck is the brick?

[C]

It's been successful. So it's this like, thing that you basically touch your phone to it, like Apple Pay, kind of. And it like, you can do different settings. So I do like mindful. So I shut off all social media. So then I press my phone to the brick and then I physically can't open the apps on my. How long until I unbrick my phone?

[B]

So I Normally you're in the control of being like, well, I can unbrick it.

[C]

Yes. But I think why it works because so many people are. People are probably like, that's so insane that you need this like, external thing.

[B]

Just like, not open the app.

[C]

But here's the thing. I go to open Instagram and if it. My phone is like bricked, then yeah, I could go and unbrick it. But then I have to, like, it's like you have to do another step to do it. You know what I mean? So it almost makes you think twice. Like, do I really want to, like, open Instagram right now?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

No, not always. And so I do it before bed. And I also started needle pointing. And guess what the. My average green time was last week.

[B]

What's it usually?

[C]

10 to 12 hours a day.

[B]

Okay, and what was it last week?

[C]

7 hours and 53 minutes a day. Thank you.

[B]

Wow, that was really good for me. Seven hours.

[C]

Seven hours.

[B]

What have you been thinking? What's been going on up there?

[C]

I don't know. I just. I think the needle pointing plus the brick, because I'm not doom scrolling in bed, I think that that is like a huge game changer.

[B]

No more doom scrolling.

[C]

I'm not doom scrolling because scrolling in bed, like, that's what I'm like. I gotta read. I gotta do something else.

[B]

I really want to read Lena Dunham's new book, Fame Sick. Okay. I'm like, very interested in. In like, I like it.

[C]

A memoir.

[B]

I think it's a memoir. I'm very invested in it and I really. That's my next read.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I really want to read it.

[C]

I am going to read one of Eleanor's favorite books that I've been meaning to read for years. It's called Rules of Civility. Have you read it? I know it's her favorite book.

[B]

What's it about?

[C]

And she sent it to me last year when I got My Boob production, and I didn't read it.

[B]

What's it about?

[C]

It's about these two best friends in the 40s living in New York City.

[B]

Oh, love that. Oh, love that.

[C]

And it's, like, fabulous.

[B]

Is it good?

[A]

And like, society.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

High society.

[C]

Yeah. So anyway, so that. And then also, I've been listening to podcasts again. Another way to get off my phone when I go on my walks. I'm listening to podcasts, so I'm not scrolling. And I've been listening to Crime Junkie again, which you remember. I was like, that was my fave in college. And Ashley Flowers, the host, has written like. Like two different books like that are fiction, but apparently they're amazing.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

So I read those two.

[B]

Okay, well, we are strapped for time, me and Brett right now, so I'm so sorry that we have to cut this so short so early, but I

[C]

love you, B. I love you so much. Have a great.

[B]

I'm so proud of you on the marathon.

[C]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

And we should probably start planning summer stuff. Oh, and tonight on Therapists, we have Ma on.

[C]

My cousin's a huge fan.

[B]

He's amazing. He's amazing.

[C]

I'm so excited.

[B]

It's one of my favorite episodes I think I've ever, ever, ever, ever recorded. Have you seen any of it?

[C]

No.

[B]

I'll play it for you later.

[C]

I can't wait.

[B]

It's. It was one of a kind.

[C]

Okay. Love.

[B]

Shout out Grace. What?

[C]

Shout out Grace.

[B]

Shout out Grace. Is that your cousin? Yeah.

[C]

Big fan.

[B]

Okay. Love you.

[C]

Love you.

[B]

Love you, Love you.

[C]

Bye.

[B]

So funny. You said you like my shoes. Because I like. I got them for my birthday. Do you want to take a guess what my birthday is?

[D]

26th of January.

[B]

27th of October.

[D]

Ooh.

[B]

And yours is 26th of October.

[D]

No way. But that's a while ago, huh? And they still look really nice. Like, you haven't even worn them.

[B]

Thank you.

[D]

Have you?

[B]

Yeah. Around town.

[D]

They're like suede and everything. They're like. They look fresh.

[B]

Oh, you know, you're knowing.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so what do you want me to call you? You want me to call you Mao or. Mao. Okay, what.

[D]

What else were you gonna say?

[B]

Like your. Your birth name.

[D]

Marit. M A U R I T S.

[B]

Do you love Amsterdam?

[D]

Yes, very much. But just, like, lately, the weather has not been great. And, like, I get very affected by the weather, so.

[B]

Oh, Scorpio vibes.

[D]

Yeah. And here, it's so nice.

[B]

You love la.

[D]

No, I hate la. But the weather is Nice.

[B]

Where do you love?

[D]

I really like Barcelona.

[B]

I love Barcelona. Good. You want to go?

[D]

Do I want to go?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Right now.

[B]

So I heard you were going back to Pasha. Are you excited?

[D]

Yes. The Spanish say pacha.

[B]

Pacha?

[D]

Yeah. My girlfriend's Spanish.

[B]

Where'd you meet her?

[D]

Pacha.

[B]

Did you really?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Meter.

[D]

She is friends with my booking agent.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Sometimes it's just as simple as that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So your first song that really took off was. Is drugs from Amsterdam? No. So what's your favorite drug to do from Amsterdam?

[D]

Ecstasy.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You're an ecstasy guy.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What's the difference between ecstasy and molly?

[D]

So ecstasy is, like, the pressed pill and molly is the crystal.

[B]

Is ecstasy from Amsterdam just, like, amazing?

[D]

Yeah. We're really good at making it, but lately they've been making it really strong. Like, they just make it stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger.

[B]

Why?

[D]

Because I guess with everything, people just crave more.

[B]

You religious?

[D]

I like to believe.

[B]

That's what I say, too. You're so Scorpio. Like, that's what I say, too.

[D]

Are you toxic?

[B]

Yeah. Are you?

[D]

No.

[B]

Oh, really? Not at all. There's not one thing that you could be, like, I'm toxic.

[D]

Not really.

[B]

Like, I'm crazy. Like, I'm crazy. Like.

[D]

And the thing is, what, though? Like, what's. What's an example?

[B]

What's an example? Louise?

[A]

I don't know if I would say toxic being the word enthusiastic, but, like,

[D]

dramatic maybe, or like, that means you care about something.

[B]

How do you like to celebrate your birthday since we're, like, almost birthday twins?

[D]

I hate celebrating my birthday.

[B]

I don't love celebrating my birthday either.

[D]

No.

[B]

Why don't you like celebrating your birthday?

[D]

Because you know what I do love? I do love, like, doing something for my friends and, like, organizing something, but I don't want it to be.

[B]

I don't like doing that.

[D]

No? No.

[B]

I like being invited to organized events that people have organized for my friends and celebrating them. But the putting my back into it, like, oh, I can't. Can you?

[D]

I can think of something fun to do.

[B]

Think of something fun to do.

[D]

We're on the same page with the birthday.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

I think.

[B]

How old are you?

[D]

29.

[B]

Okay. Fun vibes. You Guess I could.

[D]

I. I really have no idea.

[B]

And how sad is that?

[D]

You're like, I'm sorry, but you're like, one of those people. It could be, like, really young. It could be, like, older.

[B]

Like, what's the oldest? If I told you, you'd be like, that. I get it.

[D]

Like, you want me to insult you.

[B]

No, I don't want you to insult me, but I want you to be honest. Like, I want you to be honest and tell me oldest age.

[D]

You think you look really young. That's the thing. But I'm like, I'm in a studio with you. You organize this. This is your podcast. Obviously you've done well for yourself and you're like, wise and so there's something old in there, right? But you look really young.

[B]

So how old do you think I am?

[D]

23?

[B]

I'm 26. Thank you so much.

[D]

You're 26?

[B]

Yes. You walk?

[D]

No, but see, that's crazy to me because I'm like, I'm 29 and I still feel really young. But when I see people that are 26 and they've already done this much, I'm like, where did you find the time? Because I. I was not popping off at 26 like you.

[B]

Yes, you were.

[D]

No, I was not. I was. Absolutely not. I was in a mid, like a quarter life crisis.

[B]

What did that look like for you?

[D]

I was like being stressed about getting older.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Cuz I was like, I have to do it, I have to make something of myself. Blah, blah. And then the Drugs from Amsterdam song came.

[B]

And that came because you felt like, no pressure, right? Yeah, it's very pop girl of you. Sometimes, like pop girls make their best albums when they feel like no pressure from society.

[D]

It was just one song that wasn't like a whole.

[B]

And then you did the Less I Know the better remix. And then how long was that after Drugs From Amsterdam?

[D]

Super long. Like three years, I think.

[B]

So did you feel like, well, I have to follow this up. I have to follow this up. I have to follow this up.

[D]

Were you. No, not really. Not really. There wasn't really a lot of pressure because I had been making so much new music that I had a lot in the bag.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

To release that I was happy about.

[B]

Have you ever been to the red light district?

[D]

I mean, I've walked through it, but it's one of those things that for locals it's like hell.

[B]

So is it like Times Square for Amsterdam?

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Really terrible. Okay. It's in more places.

[D]

So like next to my house, there's like those lights as well. I. It's so I don't even notice.

[B]

Okay, question for you. My Harry Styles just released a song called Dance no More. Do you think it's about you?

[D]

It's definitely a diss track. Yeah. In some ways.

[B]

You think it's about you.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You really do know. Have you heard the song?

[D]

Oh, my God, I haven't heard the song.

[B]

He basically is like, DJs don't dance no more. And then people think it's about, like, that one video that that girl made that was like, DJs don't dance no more. So then during Coachella, when Mao P did his Coachella set, he, like, had this whole dance break, and it was like, a whole thing.

[D]

Is there a world where, like, he actually did see that? And that was the inspiration?

[B]

I think these people are a lot more online than you would think, bro.

[D]

Right?

[B]

I think so. Are you online?

[D]

Yeah. Too much. Really? Yeah. I hate it.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I hate my phone.

[B]

Do you have, like, fellow DJ friends?

[D]

There's some people that I like, but it's also. It all started with business, so it's like, it's hard for me to tell. Also, everyone's nice to me, so it's, like, hard for me to tell.

[B]

Has anyone ever been rude to you?

[D]

Rude?

[B]

Yeah, we can bleep it.

[D]

Always. Like, a lot of people are rude, right? But it's like. I mean, people that know and want something from you, and they're like, for example, with you, they're probably also like, oh, they know you have the show.

[B]

I wish.

[D]

They're not.

[B]

No, they're, like, nice, but, like, I'm like, you could kiss ass a little harder. Like, you know what I mean? Like, well, I would always appreciate it. Make me feel good.

[D]

Maybe because you don't give that same energy to them.

[B]

No, I kiss ass.

[D]

Yeah, but would you eat ass? Would you regularly breakfast?

[B]

Do you really?

[D]

Why not? Yeah.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[D]

Taking over the whole show, I'm, like, just diving into this right now.

[B]

You like eating ass?

[D]

You don't.

[B]

Wait not. Oh, my God, I'm gonna freak. I'm gonna freak out. Not particularly. What do you like about it?

[D]

I mean, we're talking about kissing ass. Why not eat it?

[B]

Okay, you know what? We're here. We're here while I have you, I guess. Like, do you like when someone eats your ass?

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay, so why I. Okay, why?

[D]

We got here very fast, but that was. I know. You just sort of testing the waters.

[B]

So you love to eat us, but you don't like getting your ass eaten.

[D]

I honestly haven't really seen much of this show, so I don't really know,

[B]

like, what we really get here, but I'm so. I. Can I tell you? Can I tell you? I am so happy to hear be here with You?

[D]

Perfect.

[B]

Wow. I can't believe that about you.

[D]

Why not? Sort of makes sense, though.

[B]

Like what?

[D]

What?

[B]

How would that make sense?

[D]

Like, you can't tell I'm a little weird or something.

[B]

I don't know. I'm like, blushing now. I like. We need to move on.

[D]

We need to move on.

[B]

Okay, okay. I'm moving on. Moving on.

[D]

I like that lamp, by the way.

[B]

What do you like about it?

[D]

It looks like a sex toy. Look at it. Did you choose that?

[B]

Do you like anal beads?

[D]

Did. No. Did you choose that lamp?

[B]

No, I didn't choose that lamp. But I guess it does look like a sex toy. A little dusty right now.

[D]

Is this mine? The water, by the way.

[B]

Yeah. Do you want to drink some water?

[D]

Unbranded?

[B]

I mean, usually we keep it branded, but I guess someone took off the branding today. Was that you?

[D]

Yeah. Just switching things.

[B]

You're just switching things up. I really would like to come to one of your shows. You know, I've never seen you live.

[D]

Really?

[B]

No. And I really want to come. I missed the Coachella malpy dance break.

[D]

Damn. And someone told me you're a fan.

[B]

I am a fan.

[D]

Okay, cool.

[B]

I love Drugs in Amsterdam because there might be.

[D]

From Amsterdam, might be a situation where I'm like DJing and I don't even play those songs that you like.

[B]

Well, that would suck for me.

[D]

What if it didn't like, what's.

[B]

What songs would you play?

[D]

It's not about the separate songs.

[B]

Do you live mix?

[D]

Of course. But like, I would take you on a journey.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

You know, okay.

[B]

So you know what I want to do?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I want to go to your set and I want you to take me on a fucking journey.

[D]

That's done.

[B]

Like, how late do you party?

[D]

I play for eight hours.

[B]

So like, what, 10 hours? So what time would it end? Like seven?

[D]

Yeah. And then if you, like, find CDJS and a mixer somewhere, you can just go to someone's house.

[B]

Where can we do this?

[D]

Your house?

[B]

LA is not made for that. Like, where can we do this realistically? Like, should I come to Pasha?

[D]

Oh, yeah, for sure. You're. But you're more than welcome anywhere. Yeah.

[B]

Thank you.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So where, like, what's your tour schedule like? Cuz I would like to, like, just like plan it out in my head right now, really quickly. I love your hair.

[D]

Thank you. Underneath the hat.

[B]

Yeah, I keep staring at it.

[D]

It's nice. I just got it redone.

[B]

Really? I need a haircut. I need a haircut.

[D]

No, I mean, I got it bleached again.

[B]

Oh, you did?

[D]

Yeah, because it was like.

[B]

What's your natural hair color?

[D]

Brown.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Brunette?

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

Why?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

What?

[B]

Okay. So what is your show schedule coming up look like?

[D]

Coming up? The next show is San Francisco.

[B]

I hate San Francisco.

[D]

Really? Why?

[B]

I hate it.

[D]

I don't have anything I love about it, to be honest.

[B]

When the fuck are you going to Vegas?

[D]

Saturday.

[B]

This Saturday? Yeah.

[A]

I can't fright the.

[B]

Friday. This Friday.

[A]

Friday when we're there.

[B]

Shut up.

[D]

When?

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

In May.

[D]

Oh, in May. Okay. How'd you find that so quick?

[A]

I'm on your website.

[D]

I have a website?

[B]

Okay. So I am the Chief Creative Officer of Caches Gummies. Yes.

[D]

What?

[B]

What?

[D]

What?

[B]

And we are going to the Sweets and Snacks Expo.

[D]

That is. That is Dutch, but it's a Dutch word. I know those from growing up. It means little cats. You're what? For this? You're the CEO of this cco. You're the CEO of my whole youth.

[B]

Guys, do you want some?

[D]

Absolutely.

[B]

Okay. Do you want sour?

[D]

Are they vegan now?

[B]

Yeah, they're vegan. Do you want sour? Do you want foamy?

[D]

Foamy. These are exactly what I hoped it would still be. That's amazing.

[B]

My best friend Peyton's gonna freak out.

[D]

Congratulations.

[B]

Thank you. Get a band. Get a band. Okay, wait. Oh, my God. You're with Sally. Perfect. So I'm with. I'm with Mal. Say hi. Guess the what. That. Friday we're gonna be at Sweets and Snacks Expo in Vegas. He's performing.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I'm coming.

[A]

I'm bringing tacos on stage. I want to do that.

[C]

My favorite performance of all time was your Coachella set.

[D]

Can I see these people?

[B]

Hey. Hey.

[C]

I like your star Stunner.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, they went to your coach.

[C]

Most electric time of my life.

[D]

Awesome. That means a lot to me. Thank you.

[B]

Okay, well, we're gonna have it again in Vegas. Love you. Have you heard about get them banned?

[D]

About what? Sorry?

[B]

Get them banned. Get on bands, get them banned. We don't do that here. You haven't heard about this. Get them bent, get them banned.

[D]

Banned from what?

[B]

The Peloton class.

[D]

What's Peloton?

[B]

It's a. It's a virtual spin class. And somebody joined the class with the name pedal like you're pedaling file. And the. The woman, Kendall, said, whoever just joined that class with that username, get him banned. We don't do that here. Oh, now I'm pissed. Flat road ahead. No disrespect.

[D]

That's what she said.

[B]

I'm not the one, baby. Yeah. Almost like verbatim is what.

[D]

She had some spice to her.

[B]

Oh, now I'm pissed. That's what. That's what we've been saying. Wait. I'm so excited for Vegas. Are you so excited for Vegas? Oh, my God, I can't wait. I literally can't wait.

[D]

I just got from Vegas and I'm going there again Saturday, so it's like a lot. Veggies.

[B]

F. Yes. But now that you know, like, oh, my God.

[D]

Now that you know that you guys are coming, it's a whole different situation.

[B]

Do you smoke weed?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Do you want to smoke?

[D]

Can I.

[B]

Should we.

[D]

I was actually. I brought some.

[B]

Done. Bring it out. Oh, my God, I'm so excited. Okay. Do you have a little, like, an ashtray, Lulu?

[A]

Yeah, there's one actually. Is there not an ashtray in this set?

[B]

There is. Oh, Perfect. I'm so excited. Wow. No, no, no. Wow, it smells good. Are you having fun with me?

[D]

Am I having what?

[B]

Fun with me.

[D]

So much.

[B]

I like low key. Feel like we're going to be friends.

[D]

Weren't we already sort of spiritually?

[B]

Stop. That is so Scorpio of you.

[D]

Are you spiritual?

[B]

When it comes to, like, stuff about myself. Are you religious when it. Yeah, I guess.

[D]

Because, I mean, I said I like to believe.

[B]

I like to believe I'm very ocd, so I believe there's a higher power telling me this, that, and the third.

[D]

Yeah, no, but actually. Right?

[B]

Yeah, but actually.

[D]

Yeah, but then is that spiritual also or not?

[B]

Yeah, I think that's spiritual. How are you spiritual?

[D]

I don't really know about the signs and everything.

[B]

But you're a Scorpio.

[D]

Yeah, but, like, so I'm not like, oh, I'm a scorpio. So that's why I do this and this and that. I'm more like, oh, I feel there's a certain energy about this person that I don't like. Or there is. Or I just, like, am genuinely attracted towards something and I'll just go do

[B]

it right, you know.

[D]

Your actual name is Jake. Therapist Shane iii.

[B]

Jacob.

[D]

Jacob. What's.

[B]

I'm done. If you're done.

[D]

Where does the therapist come from? Therapy.

[B]

Okay. Oh, my God.

[D]

Oh, you did the fan for the.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you want water?

[B]

I feel good.

[D]

I'll just stop because you stopped.

[B]

Oh, okay. But you could keep going, huh?

[D]

I just want to stay on the same level.

[B]

Me too. Can we keep the joint there or should we move it out of frame. Okay. Here. Lulu, you love that jacket.

[A]

So I actually have two that look the exact same. And I knew you were gonna say that today.

[B]

What did you really?

[A]

Myself. Well, I've got to clarify. I've got two, too.

[D]

It's really nice.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Who made it?

[A]

B.

[D]

Can I see the back again?

[B]

She said Bota.

[D]

That's cool. You can't really tell it's Bottega, to be honest.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

That's what she likes. She says she. I'm so. I'm so tacky. Like, I love. I want the label. I want, like, if I'm about to spend money, like, please, like, know that I spent this money.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Does shopping make you feel better?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Me, too.

[D]

Absolutely.

[B]

Me, too.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Why does it make us feel so much better?

[D]

Retail therapy.

[B]

But why?

[D]

Because I think you sort of obtain an object with money that you worked for. So it's sort of the payoff for working. Really? The payoff isn't getting money. The payoff is buying shit. Like, Right, Right. That's what I think.

[B]

Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense.

[D]

Why are you doing this podcast? Like, is it.

[B]

I don't know. No, but, like, really don't know how we got here. I.

[D]

Like, it's awesome. But, like, it's like. It's like, money. Is money part of the motivation?

[B]

No, this podcast didn't start out with the motivation for money. I was putting money in because it's. Of course. This is I independent. Like, yeah, it's published with Netflix, but, like, I own. I own this podcast.

[D]

Awesome. What were you doing before this? You were in theater. Acting.

[B]

Wait, you really thought that.

[D]

You weren't.

[B]

You really thought that, like, you thought this kid was, like, a theater actor, like, all his life?

[D]

Like, I was pretty sure you were. If you're telling me you're not that I'm like, why?

[B]

Is it because you think I'm a good actor? That why? Or you're just, like. You would be, like, so dramatic.

[D]

I Chat GPT your name. Honestly, the. The computers have something wrong then. And I've been. I've been fed information that's.

[B]

No. Someone at Chat GBT is on my side. Someone at Chat GBT is on.

[D]

Oh, you like it?

[B]

Yes. Imagine if it said Jake. Like, was just Jake. Wait, I don't know what I wanted to say. You know what I'm trying to say?

[D]

It was very focused on acting.

[B]

You are behind this somehow.

[D]

But you've never acted.

[B]

No, I have acted. But, like, that's just so funny because, like, But I guess now I am. I did Broadway. Yes.

[D]

There you go. But that's exactly what I was saying.

[B]

Yeah. Sorry. Who? That really tickled me. Um. I'm so happy ChatGPT says that about me. To be honest, I was a theater kid, kind of like I did my 6th grade play, my 8th grade play, my 12th grade play. How did I get here, you ask?

[D]

No, I was saying, what were you doing before this? Not necessarily.

[B]

Oh, I worked at a record label.

[D]

Amazing. Which one?

[B]

It was 10k, I think it's still 10k projects. I worked at 10k projects and that's based where it was independent, but now it's with Warner.

[D]

But like, you were in la?

[B]

Yeah, I was based in la, but I worked in international marketing for a little. So I would like, see song data.

[D]

Cool.

[B]

And like, where. So like where the label knew where to put the money to promote the song.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Based on where it was doing well internationally. So I remember I got to go to London for it once and it was so cool. It's my first time in London.

[D]

Yeah. You like London?

[B]

I love London.

[D]

You have to show me you don't like London. I've haven't had that insane experience that you have in a certain city yet in London. I mean, I've been to London.

[B]

I feel so like cotton cheek. Like Ohm Jim in London.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone's so much chica there. Everyone's like, like.

[D]

I don't know, maybe I go to the wrong parts or something.

[B]

No, I think you go to the right parts. Where do you go?

[D]

I don't know. I've just been doing shows there.

[B]

Where's your favorite rape scene?

[D]

I really like South America.

[B]

Is it just like it vibes?

[D]

They just dance a lot.

[B]

Ah. I. Where? Where in South America?

[D]

Everywhere.

[B]

Brazil.

[D]

Well, definitely, but like also Argentina. And in Argentina they have their own dance. It's called the Argentinian Wiggle. And all they do for hours.

[B]

Can you do that?

[D]

They just go like this in groups, but then they look at each other. They don't even look at me. I look at the crowd. It's just groups of people, like, wiggling together. But they have so much fun.

[B]

I'm so high right now that I keep thinking Nolan is holding up like that clipboard. I feel like you're holding up like a dryer erase board. Like that is what I keep. Where did you get this weed from?

[D]

What's on it?

[B]

No, I. Nothing. I'm hallucinating is what I'm trying to say.

[D]

Oh, yes, we have a script.

[B]

No, we don't have a script.

[D]

Mine. Like, the True Man Show. Where's the way out?

[B]

Are you having fun? Yeah, I'm actually having fun with you. But now I'm so insecure that you're not having fun with me because I'm high.

[D]

What do you mean? Are you having one of those. Everyone's looking at me.

[B]

Yes. Okay.

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

This is a safe space. And this is not even. This is your house, by the way.

[B]

I know. Do you like?

[D]

Yeah, I've seen a little bit of the inside. Are you a Swifty?

[B]

Yeah. Biggest of all time ever. She's my everything.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever remiss one of her songs?

[D]

No, I have not. I also haven't been asked to do.

[B]

No, but you can, like, do, like, not to, like. I, like. I don't know if you could officially release it as, like, your own track, but, like, you could remix a Taylor.

[D]

No, she's doing dance music remixes.

[B]

I know. So put your hat. Put your name in the hat.

[D]

I'm. I honestly don't deserve that. I'm like, no.

[B]

Oh, my God. Why do you think that about yourself? I think you are so talented and can make a really great remix of one of her songs.

[D]

I don't know a lot about her, so.

[B]

Can I tell you about her?

[D]

Yes, please. And, like.

[B]

Okay, what would you like to know?

[D]

What's her. What's her demographic mostly?

[B]

So the beauty about her is it's for everyone. It's really for everyone.

[D]

Like, it's like, young and old.

[B]

Yes. And like. Oh, my God, like, once you get it, you get it. Like, there's like, no way, if, ands or buts about it. Like, she'll do something that like. Like tracks back to 2012 and, like, it. And it. It's like.

[D]

It's like watching a really good show.

[B]

Yeah. But it's beautiful because you can listen to it again and again and again and again and then you can apply it to your life because it is, like, so universal, the stuff she talks about. And you wouldn't expect someone of her celebrity and stature to, like, talk about these things still. And she does. And, like, really doesn't. Like, yes, she'll say, like. Like public perception affects her, but, like, she's still her through it all. Do you know what I mean?

[D]

It's a really good explanation. No one's ever told me about Taylor Swift like that. And I never understood.

[B]

And I always go deep in with people when I introduce them to her. I'm always like, here's daylight. But in order for them to understand daylight, they need to listen to Red and like, they need to know the journey that it's led to get to daylight.

[D]

Oh, you're insanely passionate about this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I really am. Like, she's really that girl. Like, I don't know what to say. Like, she really is that.

[D]

Is there another thing that you're like this level of passionate about? That's.

[B]

No. My heart's like fucking racing. Holy shit. I need like five seconds because, like, I can't, like, once you get me going. Like, I used to write essays about her songs. Like, awesome.

[D]

Like, I. I used to do that about this soccer player called Ronaldinho. He's from Brazil.

[B]

What do you love about Rodino?

[D]

Well, like, right now it. It was more of like a thing when I was like a kid, when I still played soccer and everything. It was just. I don't know. He was the best soccer player of the whole world. And he looked awesome. He had awesome hair. He always did like a thing with his hand. He had like his signature moves. He did like, tricks that no one else could do. So I wrote like school essays about Brazil and Ronaldinho.

[B]

What do you think connects all that passion from like, from soccer players to singers?

[D]

Oh, I think it's mystique. I think you like, I don't know everything about Ronaldinho.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And I think today with like, artists, I think about this a lot. So, like DJs and artists, people that make music that are famous, they're not really. They don't have that mystique anymore because they're like chronically online.

[B]

So do you think people are holding on to the fact that Taylor Swift will always have this mystique about her, yet is still so honest? Yes, absolutely.

[D]

But does she feel approachable or like.

[B]

Yes, right. No, no, I would never, like, bother her.

[D]

No, no.

[B]

But.

[D]

But like, you can relate to her.

[B]

I guess I can. God. Like, I felt so seen by her the other day. Like, I was really down. I was down bad. I was down really bad about something. And like, there were. Her whole Tortured Poets department really got me through it because in Tortured Poets, she, like, it like had a public three month situationship. And that's clearly what this is about. And so I'm like, oh, okay. Like, I feel validated. Like you can love this intensely and like there can be music set to it to make it a little less sucky.

[D]

Yeah, it's real.

[B]

It's. Yeah. Like, I would listen to Down Bad at the gym and be like, now, like, now I'M done. And I live jet out of moment where I was like, I. I am. I'm. I'm literally. This lyric epitomized. This is how I feel right now.

[D]

Down bad.

[B]

Are you having fun?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you having fun?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, how much scale? 1 to 10?

[A]

I would say like 8.

[B]

7. Oh, 8.7.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Whoa.

[D]

What's the missing 1.3?

[B]

Well, we're gonna find. We're gonna. We're gonna find it.

[D]

Does she want to smoke weed?

[B]

No.

[D]

No,

[B]

I wouldn't.

[D]

It's like, are you guys best friends?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

You look like. Exactly.

[B]

But we are, like, best co worker friends. Like, Louise has boundaries. Louise has boundaries. And it's really, like, been such a beaut. No, but it's been such a.

[D]

What happened there?

[B]

No, no, she's just this, like. Like, is really good at separating her work life and her personal life, but, like, still maintaining a really beautiful and honest relationship with me. Wow. Like, that is how I feel about

[D]

you, and that's hard.

[B]

Like, she. Oh, my God, I love you so much. I'm so grateful for you. I, like, don't know what I would do without you. Wow. Isn't that beautiful? I have, like, full body chills, and, like, Wiggles.

[D]

That is beautiful.

[B]

Okay, anywho, what were we talking about?

[D]

Oh, no, about you guys. But have you guys known each other for a long time?

[B]

We used to work together. Where at 10k project. She worked at Homemade Projects.

[D]

No way. You're at the label, too?

[B]

Homemade Projects was a joint venture with 10k projects, so we all, like, kind of worked together.

[D]

What kind of music was it?

[B]

Trippy Red.

[D]

No way.

[B]

Ian Dior, everything Rap. Ice Spice. All rap between friends.

[D]

Are you passionate about music like that?

[B]

Yeah, very much so. It's like, probably my favorite thing in the world. My favorite thing in the world is what they would call a needle drop. So, like, in a movie or a television. Have you seen Mr. Robot?

[D]

The series?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

The whole thing.

[D]

Yeah. With what's his name?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Who plays.

[B]

I know we were just about to get somewhere, and I'm so sorry, but in that moment, I felt like, holy. He's about to tell me. I know that he has watched Mr. Robot, Dylan Manette Put me on. It is the best show I've ever seen in my entire life.

[D]

I watched it so long ago.

[B]

Okay, so do you remember the ending? No.

[D]

It was so long ago.

[B]

There was just a really good music moment in the show, and that's why it came to mind.

[D]

Oh, right. I just watched a Star Is born

[B]

and isn't it great?

[D]

No, but like, music wise too. It's like.

[B]

Yeah, but like, don't you love a good needle drop? Is what I was trying to say. I should never smoke weed again. Don't you love a good. What does that mean?

[D]

What does that mean?

[B]

Oh, okay, great. So needle drop in music is. Or television is.

[D]

Like when it cues.

[B]

When it cues.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Okay, let. What? Like, I like. They play it behind like a moment and it makes the moment so much more intense. Like a really famous one would be Breathe Me In, Six Feet Under, Dancing On My Own and girls like what? I was Gonna back to Mr. Robot. They did outro by M8.3 for the final song and. Oh, kills me.

[D]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[B]

Kills me. Have you seen Mr. Robot? No. Who's the main character? Rami Malek. What's his character's name?

[D]

Did you say Elliot?

[B]

Hello, Elliot? Yes. Elliot. Sorry, Elliot. Sorry,

[D]

conversation with yourself here. Should I take over?

[A]

No, but. Oh my God, this is why I said don't do it.

[B]

Oh,

[D]

Wasn't that crazy? It was okay. You're doing fine.

[B]

What? I was trying to remember the name of the last episode because I knew the episode episode had his name in it. So if I remembered the last episode, I would remember the name.

[D]

And did you?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

What's the name?

[B]

Elliot.

[D]

Okay, good. Just checking if you're still here.

[A]

So what are you therapist about?

[D]

I feel like we need to smoke more weed though.

[B]

So what are you therapists about today?

[D]

Just today.

[B]

Today I can tell you what I'm therapist about.

[D]

Tell me.

[B]

I don't have a show that I'm watching right now that. Well, yes, I do. So I guess I'm not mad about that.

[D]

That's the only thing you're pissed about in your life can be. There's no way.

[B]

Okay, today I was really angry because called me about something and I felt so insecure already. Like, I just. I felt very insecure. I was feeling down. And the thing in a weird sick way should not have made me more insecure, but I. God knows what it triggered inside of me because it made me really sad and really upset and I couldn't get out of it.

[D]

So you're pissed that you were sad?

[B]

Yeah, not sad, just like frustrated.

[D]

Right.

[B]

And like, I like sometimes like, you know when you want to move a mountain but you can't? That's like how I felt today. And that's what I was therapist about. But smoking has honestly helped me get over it. Like, I have so many people around Me. That's what it's me. Like, life is so beautiful. What we do is so special. And, like, I need to be grateful. And I think I'm just unconfident.

[D]

That was crazy. I was so fast.

[B]

I think I'm just like, unconfident in myself. I'm trying to be online less, but it's hard because being online is my job. Do you therapy?

[D]

I have the same thing.

[B]

What are you therapist about that as well?

[D]

Always.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Because it's like, it's not a. It's not a real world or something

[B]

out there, you know, it's like to me, it feels real.

[D]

At the same time, it's like. It's like they make it so addictive you can just keep going forever. But then at the same time, I see also a lot of things that I like on there. And then I'm like, am I going to miss out if I don't have my phone? Because sometimes I see something that really inspires me or like a piece of clothing that I want or just an artist that I didn't know about or whatever. But then you also get five really shitty videos in return that just show you nothing. And it's just going to, like, melt your brain for a second.

[B]

Legit drug. I think when they do the base trials for like, literal social media addictiveness, like, I think it's a legit addiction. Right. Like, it has to 100, like in a hundred years, like, they will consider that, like, oh, you're an addict. Do you think so? Oh, my God. I'm just like unlocking like, that felt. You know what I mean?

[D]

Yeah. Epiphany

[B]

has a song called Epiphany Taylor. Yep. And it's really, really moving like all

[D]

of the other songs.

[B]

You want. You want to know what song I think you would like?

[D]

Tell me.

[B]

It's called Peace, Peace. And it's about her then boyfriend, Joe Alwyn. Or like. Or maybe it's not, I don't know, up to interpretation. But basically in the song, she is, like, saying to her lover, like, would you still love me knowing that, like,

[D]

if I was a worm?

[B]

No. Would you like. If they're like, there's always going to be some type of issue and it's always going to be, like, difficult to be, like, in a relationship with her because she's so public and she is

[D]

like, well, why would I like that, though?

[B]

Because she's like, will you still love me regardless? Like, will your love for me be strong? It's like just like your name like, you know what I mean? Like, she's really good at describing, like,

[D]

why did you think of me?

[B]

I don't know. I felt like you're a public guy and you have a girlfriend and, like, I don't know. That must be difficult.

[D]

Like, the issue in that song.

[B]

I know. I. Am I explaining this wrong?

[D]

You need to do whatever you need to do. I'm your guest.

[B]

No, you're my guest. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. You need a break.

[A]

You need to go to the bathroom.

[B]

I can't tell. Literally a baby. I'm literally a baby. Like, why did you invite you here?

[D]

No, it seems like you got the really comfy chair.

[B]

Do you want to switch?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. Oh, I'm so much more comfortable.

[D]

You are?

[B]

Yes. Are you? Yeah. Oh, my God.

[D]

We needed this. Take those off.

[B]

Are you in any type of rush?

[D]

Rush?

[B]

Yeah. Like, do you have plans?

[D]

Not really. I feel like time doesn't exist in this little. In this. Within these four walls. Time is a construct, right? Because also, you guys. You guys got all the blackout, which

[B]

sometimes I feel like I see this place in my nightmares. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[D]

You know what? Honestly, I think it's because of the fake stone mall.

[B]

Oh, I said that. I said that to Louise and she was like, you need.

[D]

You guys need to do something about that, right?

[A]

You can't tell.

[B]

I can tell. I can tell these this.

[D]

I can tell on camera, too.

[B]

Yeah, you. You really think that's fucking real, Brick?

[D]

Most people do.

[B]

No, they don't.

[D]

Genuinely. There's comments about that. People saying, like, love your brick wall.

[B]

Okay, but, like, how fun would it be if it was like, something else?

[D]

Like a rug?

[B]

No, I am gonna pee. And while I pee, you need to tell me what your therapist about without you here. Oh, yeah, why don't you do that? We've never had a confessional before.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That. That would be fun. Like, while I go pee, you can look in your camera and tell the camera this is one. I guess there's no point to that because then who would respond? People in the comments. Oh, I'm going to go pee. Do you guys like my shirt?

[D]

Love.

[B]

Love. You like the Strokes, Nolan?

[D]

I love the Strokes.

[B]

So do I. And you know what else? I love vintage merch. It makes me feel exclusive. And I just. I love feeling, like, exclusive and special. And I love wearing pieces that make me feel that way. And finding pieces that make me feel that way has never been easier than on Depop, where you can find one of a kind secondhand merch. From your favorite artist or honestly, anything. Like, it's really easy to curate your own personal style on Depop because you can connect with the person you're buying from. And I feel like with online shopping, we've kind of lost that. But Depop has really been able to make it personal again, which I think is really, really cool, because clothes have stories, and that's why buying secondhand is so cool. When you're able to actually talk to the seller like you are on Depop, you can get the story, if you want, behind the item that you're buying. I love the strokes, and I. I don't know what it is I love about merch so much, but I think it makes me feel like a part of something. So having a site that allows me to find pieces that make me feel happy and a part of something is really important to me. And it also helps curate my own style. Like, I would have never found this shirt anywhere else other than Depop because it's like one of a kind secondhand. If you have clothes in your closet that you're not using, they have value. Just because you don't value them, still, they have value, and Depop helps give those clothes new life. Depop makes it literally so easy to sell them. All my friends sell on Depop. It's one of their favorite things to do. The other amazing thing about Depop is that there is no seller fees, which is really rare, transparently. Like, it really is a platform for the seller and the buyer only. And that's awesome because then you have more money in your pocket and then maybe you can find clothes that you want on Depop as well. I've literally bought so much stuff on Depop these past few weeks that I'm going to be wearing and, like the coming Therapist episodes and, oh, I'm just so excited. I really do love Depop. It is such, like, a fun, fun way to shop. It, like, makes shopping so fun. Shopping is always fun, but Depop makes it particularly fun because you feel like you're making these, like, personal connections with people. Download the Depop app to start selling. Listing your first item takes only a few seconds and someone out there is already looking for your style. Thank you again, Depop, for sponsoring this episode. This episode of Therapist is brought to you by booking.combooking. yeah. Well, what better guest to have on than to have this ad? Because Mao travels a lot for his shows. He has shows all over the world, and if you want to see him, booking.com will make it easier. I know that Coachella is next week. Some of you still might who are going, still might not have a place to say booking.com has you. If you were going with a big group. Everyone has different needs. Booking.com allows you to put every single person's needs in there to find the place for you. If you want walking distance to the festival, if you want a pool, if you want a sauna, if you want a bath, booking.com has all those options to help you find the perfect place for your trip. Because at the end of the day, where you lay to rest at the end of the night is crucial to your enjoyment of the trip. Right now, my friends and I are planning our summer plans. We are using booking.com to do that because we are all very specific people. We need to find the correct place to stay that will make our trip the most enjoyable. It really does just make going on a trip or going somewhere so much easier. As you guys know. Obviously, I don't know where I would have slept on tour had booking.com not existed. We would show up to a city and Matt would be booking our stay as we pulled up to the city because he had that much faith in booking.com to plan your summer travels, to plan any travel, to plan a trip, anything. Booking.com is the best place to do it. Find exactly what you're booking [e-mail] booking.ye book today on the site or in the app.

[D]

I'm making an album.

[B]

Let's talk about the album.

[D]

Right?

[B]

What is it?

[D]

The name?

[B]

No. Of like, when is it coming out?

[D]

I don't know. It's super stressful, to be honest.

[B]

Have you come up with it? Sorry? Have you come up with the name?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Have you publicly announced the name?

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay. No, no.

[D]

There's like, nothing to be found on whatever this is.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

You don't have to be. No, no.

[B]

I thought you were like, you should know that this. And I had a real.

[D]

Absolutely not. No, it's more like I committed to doing this and I already posted online that I'm doing this and so people are going to hold me accountable.

[B]

Oh, do you have, like, any inkling of the name?

[D]

Yeah, but, like, it needs a whole backstory and everything and that's like a long story.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

Yeah. No, I was thinking more like, doesn't even matter if I say the name right now or I don't like. And then people have something to think about what they want.

[B]

If you would announce your album name here, I think that would be cool.

[D]

Just as a friend you're saying that, right?

[B]

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I mean, no. Look, here, let me tell you this.

[D]

What?

[B]

I would be happy if you told me on camera or off camera. Really and truly, Would it be cooler if you said it on camera? For sure. But I want to know regardless.

[D]

I mean, I've been thinking.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

About the name.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

But I've had this name even before starting on an album. Like, it's been sort of with me for a long time. And I've called, like, companies that name that I have that no one will see.

[B]

Okay. But just on the edge of my seat, but it's.

[D]

Do you know what an anagram is?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, at least, like, why are you laughing? Because I don't think you do.

[B]

I don't think I do. I'm thinking of, like. I'm thinking of, like, when, like, you have to find a word in another word.

[D]

So if I'm right, it's like an anagram is, like, if you flip the letters around a bunch, you get another word, like, erewhon.

[B]

Nowhere. Yeah, that's what I thought. I thought. I didn't think I put an anagram.

[D]

I didn't know that, by the way.

[B]

So what's your. What's your anagram?

[D]

Okay, so my dad's name is Gerbrand.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

In Dutch. And he passed away when I was 18.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[D]

And he taught me everything I know about music. So everything I'm doing in music sort of always honors him. And so the, like, an anagram I had of his name is rebrand.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

And then I chose the G as the first words, which is going to be generation rebrands. And it's sort of, like, really beautiful. Yeah. And every time I look at those words, I, like, see my dad's name, and it makes so much sense because I did a rebrand, and, like, I did a whole career of a different name, and then I switched my name, and then I became successful.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

That's a cool name. Right?

[B]

That's a really cool name. And that, like, it's so meaningful to you. Yeah. I'm so, like, happy for you that you've found such a great album title that means something to you.

[D]

So you feel like that should be the one.

[B]

I really do. That's so beautiful. And, like, the way you just described it, like, that is so authentic to you. Authenticity always wins, right? It really always does. And, like, no matter what anyone thinks, like, that is what you wanted, and that is what you keep going back to. And, like, that is what you should Name your album.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That's awesome.

[D]

Yeah, so I'm working on that. So I don't have time to make the Taylor Swift remix.

[B]

I totally understand. What are you therapist about today?

[D]

There's one thing I've been pissed about for a really long time, and it's that. So I go to a lot of hotels or I have to stay in a lot of hotels to play everywhere. And a lot of hotels don't have one button to turn off all the lights and I have to get out of my bed, and I have to turn them all off one by one. And sometimes it's like the ones that stand. You can't even find the button or anything.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

So annoying.

[B]

It's so annoying.

[D]

Yeah, right?

[B]

And how awesome is it when you're, like, in bed and it says, master faster off?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So awesome.

[D]

Or are we talking about bigger things?

[A]

No, that was perfect. Okay, wait, can I just add something? Because I'm actually therapist about this as well. I was thinking about this all the past week when it's master on, master off. But you want to keep. Keep the lamp just the one next to you on.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And you can.

[B]

That's the best of both worlds. You can't have it both.

[A]

I know.

[D]

That's not possible. No, no, come on. It should be possible.

[A]

And then go and manually click the rest of them off. Besides the lamp you want on next

[D]

to you, you've been living in an even bigger hell than me. Oh, my God. I never. I never want to have that light on. I just turn off the whole thing.

[B]

Oh, I like. I like that light on sometimes. If I'm like, she's gonna say reading, I'm gonna say, like, wanting to talk to people but still feel like it's light outside. Like, I'm so much more comfortable on this couch. I'm so happy we switched.

[D]

Good.

[B]

Do you feel more comfortable as well?

[D]

It's nice.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm so excited to party with you in Vegas. And if we have fun, Spain, like, get on right. I like the groups merge. And, like, we have, like, a good time and, like, good banter. Like, Spain admit we'll be like, let's do this again.

[D]

How big is the group?

[B]

I. A lot. I have a lot of friends.

[D]

And why are you guys going to Vegas for cautious. Oh, no way. What's happening with Catches in Vegas?

[B]

It's the sweets and snacks expo.

[D]

There's a sweets and snacks. Wow.

[B]

Yes. And you're playing there the same weekend.

[D]

Should I come to the sweets and snacks?

[B]

Don't even play with me right now, would you?

[D]

I'm a big advocate for coaches, so.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

So, like, I've just never met someone as passionate about it as me. I love Conscious. We've loved them in this house for years.

[D]

Where did you find them?

[B]

Brett went to Expo west, which is a snack convention.

[D]

Do they sell these in a store?

[B]

They sell them at Five Below and they sell them on Amazon.

[D]

But is the goal now that it's gonna be so famous that it's in stores?

[B]

That is the goal for it to be more accessible to people?

[D]

This is what I grew up at.

[B]

I can't believe that. Yeah, they're amazing.

[D]

Can you say that one more time?

[B]

That's your logo.

[D]

And what are you saying? What words?

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[D]

Are you just saying yes, yes, yes, three times?

[B]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[D]

But what, like, can we think of something stronger for the slogan?

[B]

Well, you're the creative one. Well, what would your slogan be for them? Really cook up for a minute. Like, like, you need. Like, I don't have a switchboard, but, like, really cook up for a minute.

[D]

They kind of look like bigger ecstasy pills.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. Have you ever seen ecstasy pills where they're, like, shaped in a. I don't think I've ever. No. So they. So they make them in all of the logos of, like, big companies so you'll have, like, a ups.

[B]

That doesn't scare you? That doesn't feel like you're, like, taking something that's about to, like, literally.

[D]

No, it, like, makes it more fun.

[B]

Do you think I would like it?

[D]

That's why it's called a Tesla. It's the Tesla logo as a pill. That's what you've never heard about a Tesla?

[B]

I would never take a Tesla ecstasy pill.

[D]

Oh. In Vegas.

[B]

I mean, I guess if it was the only thing you had. Sure.

[D]

It's the best one.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

That's okay. So the shapes have different flavor. Like, I'm so confused. Okay, so what would your conscious theme song B Theme song, Please.

[D]

I thought we're doing slogan.

[B]

Slogan. No. Oh, no. I meant, like, their thingy. Their catchphrase. Got you.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yes. Okay. Are you having fun?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Do you swear?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, so if I asked you.

[D]

That's also the fifth time you asked.

[B]

No, I know. So if I asked you to do another segment, would you do it right now? Yeah. Like, would you want to?

[D]

Of course.

[B]

You want to do Manny's Corner first, or do you want to do the Tell me what's wrongs?

[D]

I want that envelope, Manny's Corner is

[B]

really quick and really funny.

[D]

All right. That's your man's.

[B]

Okay, so who's Manny? She is our coworker. And she. She writes a little segment that we call Manny's Corner. And just some questions Manny has that Manny's written. Okay. Okay.

[D]

That good? All right.

[B]

Would you say you. She's so funny. Would you say you owe your career to Benjamin Franklin because he discovered electricity? He also invented the urinary catheter. What do you owe him for that? Isn't she so funny?

[D]

She's really funny, actually. But why is she not here?

[B]

She's on a flight.

[D]

She's what?

[B]

On a flight, she's usually. She's usually here.

[D]

I have to miss Manny, and I just get the. I just get the envelope with the question.

[B]

Manny's awesome.

[D]

Come on.

[B]

Manny's awesome. Okay, ready? This one's just silly.

[D]

They are all.

[B]

You call. You call yourself Malpi. Was Malpu taken?

[D]

Actually, there wasn't going to be any pee at all.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

See, this is. What's the fun about Manny's Corner.

[D]

It was just gonna be mouth.

[B]

Okay. And what made you have the P?

[D]

Well, my genius friend from MSM said I should add a P because my nickname was Mowpy, which is spelled M, A, U, P, I, E, which just means like, little Mao in Dutch. Like P. Like Jake P. Okay.

[B]

Love.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. That's. Okay, great. So Manny's Corner got us an answer.

[D]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. People think it's my last name, P.

[B]

Like, something with a P. That's what I think.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

As well.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Hold on. I need to answer my friend Alice really quickly. Hey, girl, I'm filming therapist with Mal P.

[C]

Hey.

[B]

Okay. I love you. I love you.

[D]

What's that sound?

[B]

Just like a little, like, mating call. Don't you have something like that with your best friend?

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Want to tell you her. You love her.

[D]

I love you, Manny.

[B]

No, that's Alice. Do that. Say, I love you, Alice in the camera. Yeah.

[D]

I love you, Alice.

[B]

Oh, this is the best for me and Alice. You're the best.

[D]

Me and Alice are like this, though.

[B]

Yes, you would love Alice. She's gonna be at tweets and snacks with me. We're gonna go see you live.

[D]

This is not like you made a plan. And it's not gonna happen. Right. In Vegas because there's also people that'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna go see you there.

[B]

And there.

[D]

We're gonna do this. And then you never see Them you're like, we're actually gonna do this, right? Because I'm, like, so down.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God, yes.

[D]

Right?

[B]

I was gonna follow up, but I was gonna have the anxiety of being like, oh, I feel like he doesn't actually want me to do this. And you just saying that just now made me so much like, yes, I did want. I do want.

[D]

Yes, of course.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm so.

[D]

But then I'm surprised that not everybody thinks like that. Like, we just made a plan. To me, that's like, okay, let's. That's going to happen, right? Because I'm not bullshitting.

[B]

I know, but, like, sometimes you never know. I'm not bullshitting either. We're going to be at sweets and snacks. Like, it's not like I have to, like, you know, like, okay, like, let me double check that we can all fly. Like, you know, like, we all already have a girls trip planned. So, like, you just made. It's like you made our bachelorette 10 times better.

[D]

When is it? Maybe you said bachelorette just, like, girls trip. Okay, so what's next?

[B]

These are the Tell me what's wrongs. The pussies call in and they submit. Tell me what's wrongs. And we give them advice based on what we think.

[D]

Okay. Please repeat what you just said.

[B]

Oh, my God. So the pussies write in and they write and they tell us what. What's wrong?

[D]

The. The pussies?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

What's the pussies?

[B]

Octopuses. That's what my. My followers are.

[D]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[B]

Sorry.

[D]

I'm sorry. To all the octopuses?

[B]

No, the pussies.

[D]

The pussies. Can I ask you a question?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

What does the octopus have to do with.

[B]

Because I used to rate octopus on my Instagram account.

[D]

Used to what? Rate?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

An octopus.

[B]

Yes. By looking at it, I would eat it.

[D]

Oh, okay. Grilled.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

I love octopus.

[B]

So do you want to get octopus in Vegas?

[D]

Where, though?

[B]

Where do they have so many places? So many places have octopus.

[D]

Which one?

[B]

I don't know. Probably like, carbone.

[D]

Yeah, absolutely. Let's do it.

[B]

Okay, cool.

[D]

And then they wrote you the octopi.

[B]

I eat it and then I go, this good texture is a little off, but it's salty. 7.2 out of 8 times.

[D]

That's how you got famous.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Is there a big octopus community?

[B]

Community, no. People just thought I was funny, I guess.

[D]

Oh, you did it in a. You did in a really, you way.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Right? That's a big, big sip. For a big boy.

[B]

You wouldn't describe me as big.

[D]

No.

[B]

Right.

[D]

I mean, like, mentally big.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. I need to, like, swallow the water. Yes. Where's my water?

[B]

Oh, do you want to drink water, too? It's like, I've been drinking a lot of water lately.

[D]

Should we do a shot of tequila?

[B]

You're lying. Yeah, it.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I feel like that would help for this section, like, get into our emotions a little bit.

[B]

I can't party today. This is Mal. You are amazing. Oh, my God. This is the therapist on Julio. I was.

[D]

There we go. That's what I mean.

[B]

Opened it. Should we get. Should we chill this? Like, should we have ice? Well, yeah. Do you want to do the honors? Okay. But I would just like to give some backstory.

[D]

All right.

[B]

When I. When Don Julio gifted this to me, I thought it was really special. So we kept it. I. You know, and so. Yeah.

[D]

And now we're putting it to good use.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

No one opened this the whole time.

[B]

No, it was just some. It was like, oh, this is cool art.

[D]

It is.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But it's also.

[B]

But now. How cool to share this moment with you. Okay. I don't have any. Oh. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I was so confused. It's okay. Are you ready? Ready?

[D]

You're gonna come down.

[B]

You have to do.

[D]

I felt like you were gonna say 3, 2, 1.

[B]

You have to do eyes.

[D]

Eyes.

[B]

Yes. You have to look me in the eyes.

[D]

I always do eyes.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Chairs. Okay. Oh. Honestly, that tasted really nice. Wow. My friend won't accept that I'm. Okay, let me explain. I have this one friend, and she's always checking in on me, and while there is nothing wrong with that, I will say that perfectly fine. And I'm just. It's just my resting face, but she keeps trying to get me to say what's wrong. I already have a friend I tell my issues to because we have similar problems, but she just won't stop. Help. It's getting annoying, but I don't want to be rude. Okay. I'm gonna have a hard time answering that, because I'm the friend that's like, are you mad at me? So how would you answer that?

[D]

Because, like, I'm like that, too. I have sort of a resting face.

[B]

Okay. So it annoys you.

[D]

There will be people at my show that are just, like, working the production, whatever. And I'm, like, about to go on stage. It's like. And that's what I live to do. Like, that's my passion for. But my Face will be like. They're like, can I do something for you? Like, are you okay? Like, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I'm about to do what I was born to do. So, like, why would you ask that question? And it's just my face, and I can't control it. Like, I can't permanently smile or look happy, you know? You can't, but I am.

[B]

What's the hardest you've ever smiled? Now that I'm, like, thinking about it.

[D]

What?

[B]

Like, do you go like this?

[D]

Of course I can. For you.

[B]

Okay, cool. I just didn't see that. This app episode. Really?

[D]

This app.

[B]

And now I'm like, oh, I guess I don't know what you look like smiling, but now I do.

[D]

Maybe you weren't looking.

[B]

Oh, hell, here we go. I am a bad listener, so that wouldn't be shocking.

[D]

So we answered her thing.

[B]

Yeah, I think. Right. What was her thing? Oh, yeah. Be direct. Be direct.

[D]

That's it.

[B]

I was at a concert in Camden, New Jersey, and I was blackout drunk and about to throw up. My best friend walked me to the side of the venue and then left me there, throwing up so she could go back inside with a guy. No. I've never brought it up, but I think about it all the time because I'm always the one who takes care of her when she's drunk. Oh, that's so annoying. I feel bad for her.

[D]

Very bad.

[B]

That's so annoying. That's so annoying. I feel bad for her.

[D]

Me, too. Tell her.

[B]

And then I think she's scared of her leaving her. What?

[D]

Leaving her. She left her to puke. For a guy.

[B]

Would you do that?

[D]

No.

[B]

For a girl?

[D]

Yes. Yeah. I mean, at the same time, I wasn't the one that drank so much I had to puke.

[B]

So how. But she takes care of her.

[D]

Oh, she does, right?

[B]

She takes care of her.

[D]

Yeah. But let's say if it was, like, a raging alcoholic friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, this happens all the time.

[B]

Do you have friends like that?

[D]

I wish.

[B]

No, you don't.

[D]

You drink a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

This is all a test. Like, I got you to smoke weed and drink during your own episode.

[B]

Wait. Yeah.

[D]

Like, you have no backbone. I can talk you into anything. We're going to Vegas.

[B]

And the thing is, I'm going to do it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm going to have a really fun time.

[D]

Perfect. I love that. I love that.

[B]

I'm so excited now. I'm like, I have something to look forward to. Yay.

[D]

I will make sure that it Will be the best trip ever. Ever.

[B]

Okay, but will you stop by sweets and snacks if you're there.

[D]

But I think that's a date.

[B]

You know what? Just make sure my day with you when you do this whole DJ set.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Like, let's have a good old Vegas time.

[D]

I promise.

[B]

Okay, cool. My sister and I planned a trip to Hawaii together. And I just found out she invited her boyfriend. He's nice. But now I'm gonna be the third wheel on a trip that was supposed to be just us. I know they're gonna want to do a couple things and I'll be left alone. What should I do? Okay.

[D]

Damn.

[B]

I would do the same thing as her sister if I had a boyfriend. Like, if I got a boyfriend after planning a trip with my friend, I'd be like, well, can they come? I would. Sorry.

[D]

What if they want a quality time?

[B]

Of course. Yeah, it sucks. But sometimes you have to be selfish in life and like. Like it sucks. Like, it just sucks. And you don't know until you're that person. Like, until you're that person, you can shit on them all they want. But then when you are that person and you're in that situation and you just want to spend 247 with your fucking boyfriend. Yeah. You're going to be selfish and ask if he can come on the trip with your sister. Out of all people. Yeah, you're going to ask. You're like, you'll love me no matter what, so just love me for this.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Okay, totally explain.

[D]

Like, you have to see your boyfriend 247 when your sister asks for, like some time for you and her.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

No, it's.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe then just say.

[D]

Well, because the key word here is boyfriend.

[B]

But I think maybe the sister wants to spend time with both.

[D]

I did not. I did not hear husband. That's not family. Your family. Direct family blood is asking, do you want to spend time with me? Go on a trip? You're like, but I have this boyfriend. He has to come.

[B]

I guess.

[D]

Do you have siblings?

[B]

Yeah. Would you think I'm an only child?

[D]

Yes. Sorry. Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know why.

[B]

No. But yeah, everyone says it. I've been seeing this guy for a week or two now. We've been on a few dates. Last night I finally went over to his house to potentially hook up. When I see him, he has a life size guy Fieri cut out in his living room. Living room. Not a word. Not a word was spoken about it. Biggest ick of all time. He's hot. So you got to look past it. Just ask him about it. You, if he's hot, look past it.

[D]

Maybe it's a joke.

[B]

Yeah, sue him for an inside joke. You know, like, I have inside jokes around my house.

[D]

I didn't see any inside jokes. Oh, I saw, like, donuts in a frame.

[B]

That's not an inside joke. But it makes sense to us.

[D]

I have to say. Your house was very clean.

[B]

People used to never say that.

[D]

But was it you? Was it your fault?

[B]

No, it was all of our fault. It was pigsty. But then the. But then the go to girls came and saved the day. Okay, so you have to look past the Guy Fieri thing. Like, we need to stay on course here. Yeah, I'm like, sweating my palms. My face. Is anyone else sweating?

[D]

Nope.

[B]

Okay, cool. My roommate constantly breaks my shit when she's drunk and owes me, like, 200 worth of stuff that she destroyed. She makes me feel like she's the victim whenever she does this the morning after, saying things like, it's hereditary, I'll pay you back for it soon, etc. What do I say? Say, bitch, it's not hereditary. You broke my shit, and if you don't pay me 200, we're gonna have a problem.

[D]

What does that mean, hereditary?

[B]

I don't really know. Like, it's like inherent.

[D]

Passed down through genes.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I think she's, like, trying to make joke of it or something. I don't really know. We're saying, like, she's from a family of alcoholics. Just be like, no, you broke my. I will help you, whatever. But you broke my. You owe me money. Sometimes things in life have consequences.

[D]

These are some really annoying, like, situations, though, for people. Yeah, but you get a new batch every week. Yeah, there's actual people that send in this.

[B]

You go to pass thatplus.com, tell me what's wrong. Leave a name and number if you feel.

[D]

But do they also, like, give you a debrief? Like, it went amazing. And thank you so much for your advice. Do you ever hear back from them?

[B]

Like, where are they now and gets them?

[D]

I've not really seen that before.

[B]

No, no, I'll get DM sometime. Okay. I get. No. Yes, yes, I get DM sometimes I get DM sometimes being like, I was the girl. Like, for example, when Glenn Powell came on the show, we called somebody sent their number. It was the therapist and we call. Or an astrologist and we called them. Or we said, like, we called this girl. She was at the stage door for my play on Broadway and was like, I was the girl you called with Glen Powell, the therapist. And I wrote you an astrology reading, and I have it in my room.

[D]

That's awesome.

[B]

Isn't that awesome? Yeah, it's pretty cool.

[D]

That must be very, like. I don't know what the word is.

[B]

It makes me feel like, oh, my God, how full circle. That's so sweet. And I feel, like, a real connection.

[D]

That's like, the payoff for what you do here, I think, right. That someone comes back to you and is, like, the thing that you did here in this little room with these people on this camera, like, actually made a difference.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Yeah. When do you feel those moments when,

[D]

like, I do my work, I DJ and I see people enjoying themselves and, like, forgetting about their everyday life.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

Because that's what I do. Like, for me, like, I make music. And for most people, music is like an escape, you know? It is.

[B]

It's. For me, it is. That's what Taylor Swift is for me. And Escape.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

My mom just started dating the dad of the girl who bullied me all throughout high school. Now she keeps inviting them over for dinner and expects me to be nice. I'm literally 25, and I feel like I'm in high school again. That's. There's, like, weirdly attention there still. What do I do? I prescribe the movie. You again. Do you remember that movie? So Fucking Fire. So Fire. And it will tell you what to do. Have you seen. Of course you have. No, you haven't seen. You again.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

We. I'm not going to say we have to watch it because, like, I understand that's asking a lot of you, but, like, it's a good. It's, like, actively a good movie.

[D]

Who plays in that?

[B]

I forget. I think Betty White's in it, if I remember correctly. Oh, my God. Fuck. It's so good. I remember the first time I saw that, I was like, this is awesome.

[D]

And it's about this situation.

[B]

Yes, it's literally that situation. It's literally that situation.

[D]

So that's our advice. Watch the movie.

[B]

Yeah. Sometimes all you need is an escape. Like that. All right, I'm talking to this. And the end is really funny.

[D]

What was the other thing I had to watch? Mr.

[B]

Robot. You've seen Mr. Yeah, but I want

[D]

to watch it again now.

[B]

Okay. Have you seen the show Dark?

[D]

Yes. With the German kids.

[B]

Like, were you, like, obsessed?

[D]

At first I was, yeah. But then it just keeps being dark for so long.

[B]

What?

[D]

It's called Dark Yeah, right. Yeah.

[B]

There's like three seasons.

[D]

I know, but, like, you got over the plot. I was a little bit done. Yeah.

[B]

No, the. I know. No, the ending is so beautiful.

[D]

I saw it. I think.

[B]

You saw all three seasons?

[D]

I think so, yeah. I must have. I was obsessed.

[B]

Do you remember the theme song?

[D]

The theme song was also really dark.

[B]

Open the. What? Give me a sign.

[D]

That was the theme song? Yeah. I will skip it.

[B]

Oh, I. I loved it.

[D]

Have you watched Sopranos?

[B]

No. And I keep meaning to you should. Is it that good?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Should it be my next bitch? Let me tell you something, though, about me in a binge. When I get in a binge, it's a dark spot.

[D]

It's eight seasons.

[B]

It's a dark spot. Like I just did Homeland.

[D]

Whoa.

[B]

Like anything goes during a binge. Like anything goes. Like, I. Like, I devote myself to that world.

[D]

How would you. How would you do that? With this?

[B]

I don't know. I'd probably become obsessed with the Italian Mafia because that happened to me for a brief moment during COVID I watched short series or a docu series about the mob in New York. And then I watched Goodfellas.

[D]

Me, too. So good.

[B]

So good. I'm kind of talking to this guy, and he's really hot and successful, but he sleeps on his couch every night with his roommate, even though he has his own room with a bed because he doesn't want to be alone. I don't know what to do.

[D]

That one's kind of funny. Like, that's like.

[B]

Do you think he's gay? Yeah. You do? Yeah. But maybe then I'm invalidating male, like, male affection towards. Platonically towards each other.

[D]

What other reason would there be for him to like or, like.

[B]

Girls like to sleep together all the time, and they're not girls. Wait, so what should she do about the boyfriend?

[D]

Don't date him.

[B]

Yeah. Because he's not going to tell you if he's gay. If that's the reason he's not going to tell you. And you're always going to be wondering. So ask.

[D]

No, no, That's not an option. I'm sorry.

[B]

Don't ask, don't tell? Is that what you're going to say?

[D]

No, I mean, like, just ask the guy, like, what's up? Oh, like, what's. What did you think?

[B]

I thought you were saying, like, don't ask, don't tell. Like, maybe just go, like, in blind. Like, you know. Oh, my God. You're not, like, you're not from America. We used to have this thing called don't ask, don't tell. And gay people weren't allowed to be in the army. Did you know that?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

But what's the don't ask, don't tell?

[B]

That was the rule.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

It was like, you can be gay, but we can't hear about it.

[D]

No, I mean, like.

[B]

And if we find out you're gay, you're gonna get kicked out. Isn't that crazy? Up until, like, I, like, remember it going away. Don't you, like, Louise is.

[A]

I'm an ally.

[B]

Louise is an ally.

[D]

Are you an ally?

[B]

Like, do you have gay friends?

[D]

Of course.

[B]

Oh, my God. Obsessed with that for you, really.

[D]

I mean, I love the gays. And you know why? Because they, like, started my whole scene.

[B]

Tell me everything.

[D]

You didn't know that, like, house music, everything was started by gays? Like, it was hippies, gays, like, gay parties. And, like, Mykonos was like, a big party island. Ibiza was all gays.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[D]

Yeah, because, like, they were, like, feeling so free and they wanted to dance and blah, blah. That's what's their escape, I guess.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. You should perform at Pride. Would you do that?

[D]

Of course. But, like, in Amsterdam is such a big thing already. It's like everyone's just out on the streets, on the canals. It's so fun.

[B]

I caught my roommate watching me through the crack in my bedroom door one night when she thought I was asleep. I pretended not to notice, but now I feel weird every time I'm home. Do I confront her? Pretend it never happened? Obviously, I would prescribe the roommate with latent meester, but continue.

[D]

Yeah. When do you decide when it's, like, wrong? I don't know, because I can imagine me walking by your room and I see you sleep, and I look like. When does it turn into spying?

[B]

When do you think it turns to spying?

[D]

When she actively, like, enjoys.

[B]

Well, how do you, like, give it a time period?

[D]

Because I would be, like, looking. I was like, oh, he's sleeping. And then I would leave.

[B]

Like, so that's when my friend Alice is sleeping. She'll sleep in a funny position and, like, I'll take a photo of it and send it to her in the morning.

[D]

This feels like a deeper situation.

[B]

I mean, I would definitely, like, distance yourself, but even.

[D]

Okay, so this is written by her, the lady who spied. Right. She feels so wrong about it that she had to send you a question about it, a message.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know what.

[D]

So it's Definitely a problem for her. So we should tell her to, like, take care of it.

[B]

You know what, though? I wouldn't confront the roommate because the roommate could be psych.

[D]

I wouldn't tell her.

[B]

I would. I would tell someone else.

[D]

I feel like she has a problem with herself.

[B]

The roommate?

[D]

No, the girl. The girl that's spying.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

She has some stuff to figure out. Like, leave the roommate out of it.

[B]

Like, how can she get. Like, she needs to get out of the situation. Like. Like, as calmly and professionally as possible as possible. Like, that's how a spy would think. You know what I mean? She has to think if she wants to. If this girl is spying on her, she needs to act like a spy. Like, I just watched Homeland, and in Homeland, they had to, like, handle like spies do to battle other people that were, like, wishing them harm.

[D]

Wait, did I read it wrong or did I understand it wrong?

[B]

Well, what should we talk about? Now that we're friends?

[D]

What do friends talk about?

[B]

I like to talk about gossip with my friends.

[D]

Gossip?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Why?

[B]

It's like, we're like old women. Like, we sit. We like, gossip, and we're just in,

[D]

like, an informative way. Formative, like, oh, this happened to this person. Blah, blah. Did you hear about.

[B]

Yeah, of course. There's criticisms along the way, as you would. Oh, come on.

[D]

You don't gossip a little bit? I don't enjoy it that much, I think.

[B]

We also like to watch television shows together. We like to party together. We like to talk about music, new music together. Any new music you're loving.

[D]

I love Don Toliver.

[B]

Oh, my God. His album is amazing.

[D]

I've heard his new album.

[B]

I know that on the highway, and I'm thinking that I love that one, but I don't know the rest. What are some others that you would recommend to me on that album?

[D]

Is that ATM that you were singing?

[B]

I think it's E85.

[D]

Oh, then I love ATM.

[B]

ATM.

[D]

That's. To me, that's the best one.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna listen to it after this. Do you want to know what new music I'm listening to?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. I'm listening to right now, a song by Robbie Robb called In Time. I used to be obsessed with it when I was watching Mr. Robot. You love this song, Nolan? So good. In Mr. Robot, there's a really good needle drop with it. And so I think about that. I've been listening to Leaving Tennessee by Carter Faith, which my best friend will put me on to today. Like my country era. I've Been listening to this country? Yeah, I've been listening to. Sorry, I meant Tonight by Megan Maroney.

[D]

You listen to a lot of country?

[B]

Sometimes, yeah. I love good lyricism. Like, I love, like, good storytelling. That's why I love Taylor Swift so much. She tells such a beautiful story. I've also been listening to her song Dear Reader, which is really good. And I've been listening to her song Maroon a lot.

[D]

Do you like Mag Miller?

[B]

Yeah. You know what? I've never been able to get, like, no one's ever told me, like, because I feel like he's kind of like. It's like he has so much work. I want to know which to go to first. Like, what? How should I. How should I have my experience with this art? What's your favorite album?

[D]

Wait, do you like Sade?

[B]

No, I've never gotten into Shade. What?

[D]

What are you talking about?

[B]

What? You reacted this way, too. Okay, so how.

[A]

Let me get some Mac Miller like you would love.

[B]

No, I know I would love Mac Miller. I know, I know.

[A]

I'll make a playlist.

[B]

You. So you've had an era with him.

[A]

Beyond.

[B]

Okay, will you make me a playlist? Cuz one time she made me a playlist and it worked really well because

[D]

you, like, tailored it to his taste. Cool.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. I've been listening to E85 by Don Tolver. I've been listening to Reverie by Sarah Kinsley. Have you been listening to Sarah Kinsley at all? She's amazing. And then I've been listening to. Do you watch Paradise?

[D]

What's that? Paradise?

[B]

Let me put you on. It is a television show about the end of the world, and it's really well done, and it's amazing, and it's my favorite show on television right now.

[D]

Doesn't sound like I would like it with the End of the World.

[B]

What are you. What do you watch? What are you watching?

[D]

Well, I just finished the Sopranos, and then.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna go for it.

[D]

I didn't have anything new.

[B]

You know what? Maybe.

[D]

Oh, I'm just like, re watching Entourage every.

[B]

You know, I've never seen Entourage.

[D]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

No. It's very intimidating, so I need to pick one. Okay. Depends. Should I watch Entourage?

[D]

Yes, absolutely. It's also, like, culturally, you have to understand a couple things that.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Are going on.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

In Entourage.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It's very similar to your life, I think.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. And mine.

[B]

I feel like that's a compliment, whatever you just said.

[D]

Yeah. I also don't know what I mean, but okay.

[B]

So, Mal, what did we learn today?

[D]

You're awesome.

[B]

Shut up.

[D]

And you need to change that wall.

[B]

Wow. That's what you learned? That was, like, the first thing that came to your mind, too. So I know you meant it.

[D]

Of course.

[B]

Okay. What I learned is that we are about to have a really fun weekend to look forward to.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

At the Sweets and Snacks expo for me. And your concert for you. But. God, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[D]

You do Four.

[B]

No, I just. I got a little excited extra. By accident. Okay. Well, Malpy, thank you for coming on the show. This was just phenomenal. I've. I was in a really. Yeah, that's. You know, I was in a really.

[D]

It breaks my heart. We have to end.

[B]

Like, me too. Louise. She's like my babysitter. Well, I've been. I've had such a good time.

[D]

Me too.

[B]

I was in a really bad headspace before this. Like, I thought I was going to cry. Like, I actually felt like I was going to cry today. Yeah, I was in a really, really bad headspace. I was in a really, really, really, really, really bad headspace. And doing this with you.

[D]

Awesome.

[B]

Even though I might reenter that headspace later.

[D]

You have something good to think back.

[B]

I've really enjoyed myself and found joy in my day because of you. So that's what I learned.

[D]

Love.

[B]

Love.

[D]

That's great.

[B]

You. Not. Not yet. Love.

[D]

I mean, like, love. I just say love. Like, when you say something, is it

[B]

hard for you to say I love you?

[D]

No, but we just met. Like, I made that mistake before with people.

[B]

So what do you mean?

[D]

Like, go into deep. Too soon?

[B]

Yeah, but this isn't a romantic relationship knows. Stop it.

[D]

Why are you excluding that conversation?

[B]

Stop. Okay. Malpy, thank you for coming on Therapus.

[D]

Thank you for having me.

[B]

Sorry. Can you say bye in Dutch now? Spring just slid into your DMs. Grab that boho.

[A]

Look for that rooftop dinner. Those sandals that can keep up with you.

[B]

And hang some string lights to give

[A]

your patio a glow up. Spring's calling, Ross, Work your magic.