Session 131: Belmont Cameli

Summary

Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 131: Belmont Cameli
Released July 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this playful yet introspective episode, Jake Shane invites actor Belmont Cameli (star of "Off Campus") into the Therapuss "chair." Their conversation swings between candid self-analysis, hilarious storytelling, and pop culture commentary, with Belmont offering both vulnerability and wit. Regular co-hosts and friends join intermittently, adding warmth and chaos. The episode also features advice segments based on listener submissions, sprinkled with Jake’s trademark irreverence and honesty.

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Key Topics & Discussion Highlights

1. Reunion and Setting the Tone

• The episode begins with a callback to their previous podcast together, immediately establishing a friendly, teasing tone.
• Jake and friends banter about birthdays, jealousy in relationships, sex lives, and other personal anecdotes, previewing the kind of openness listeners can expect (00:40–07:02).

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2. Introducing Belmont Cameli & "Off Campus"

• Belmont Talks About Obsessed Fest & Amazon Events
  • Belmont is fresh from attending Obsessed Fest, meeting castmates and stars of other Amazon shows (07:33–08:07).
  • “We had a really good time…We got to meet a lot of the actors on some of the other Amazon romance shows coming out too.” – Belmont, (07:54)
• Developing the Show
  • Belmont describes the collaborative process of "Off Campus," including blending content from multiple books and establishing the show's “visual language” in season two (09:01–10:14).

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3. Personal Style, Eras, and Adolescence

• On Fashion Eras:
  • Belmont shares stories about Bow Tie Tuesdays, failed fedora experiments, and progressing through various jackets and styles in junior high and high school (12:45–14:15).
  • “I just want to be the guy who can wear a fedora and like be left alone about it.” – Belmont, (13:47)
• Jake on Bombers and Body Insecurity
  • Self-deprecating chat about which jackets work for whom; both get real about appearance and evolving tastes.

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4. Pop Culture, TV, and Music Cliff Notes

• Reality TV Favorites
  • Belmont: “Summer House”; Jake: more of a “Housewives” guy (15:00–15:46).
• Book Talk
  • Belmont admits he’s read “some” of the source books but not a big reader; shares his last pick was Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle (10:27, 10:48).
• Music Fandom & Festivals
  • Both bond over festivals, especially Lollapalooza, highlights seeing Vampire Weekend, The Strokes, Two Door Cinema Club, and Phoenix (37:21–38:32).
  • “One of the greatest concert experiences I’ve ever had.” – Belmont, (37:26)

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5. Personal Struggles: Weed, Addiction, and OCD

• Jake’s Ongoing Battle with Weed
  • “I’m so addicted to weed. And I know it’s a problem.” (23:07)
  • Discussion of using weed as self-medication and failed attempts to quit; Belmont offers empathy, describing his own quitting story, the anxiety and paranoia that finally pushed him to stop (28:24–29:47).
• Listener Advice: Quitting Cigarettes & Weed
  • Belmont advises substitution: “You gotta replace a vice with a vice...I started doing cardio, which I hated.” (62:13)
  • Jake: “That honestly might have been some of the best advice we’ve ever gotten on this podcast.” (62:49)
• OCD & Mental Health
  • Jake openly discusses living with OCD since childhood, encourages listeners to seek therapy (content after 32:00).

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6. Astrology, Saturn Return, and Millennial Angst

• Playful but sincere investigation into Saturn return (“When you turn 27, everything starts to change…life kind of sucks…” – Jake, 25:19), body aches, and the aches of growing up.
• Belmont and Jake swap physical ailment stories, linking them to age, fitness, and lifestyle.

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7. Advice Segment: Listener Dilemmas

A rapid-fire, honest take on crowd-sourced issues, including:

• Smoking Addiction (62:10): “Go use your lungs as a reminder that, like, that’s what they’re for.” – Belmont
• Breath Issues & Hygiene (63:19): “You say, your breath smells bad.” – Jake
• Roommate Over-Sharing Location (69:05): “No, turn that location off. Keep it off and stay far away.” – Belmont
• Parent’s Porn Stash (73:36): “Listen, pops, you don’t have to download this at all. If you want to see it again tomorrow, you could just go find it.” – Belmont (74:50)
• Insecure Dating After a Glow Up (72:31): “Practice it.” – Belmont

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8. Tattoos, Self-Expression, and Friendship

• Extended deliberation about Jake getting his first tattoo (banana peel or his childhood street’s numbers).
• “If I’m getting a tattoo, it really needs to reign true to who I am” – Jake, (59:02)
• Peyton’s cameo call: She cheers on the idea, “Thigh tats are hot!” (71:08–71:36).

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9. Behind the Scenes: Acting, Auditions, and Show Life

• Belmont shares about the all-day, “Hunger Games”-style audition for “Off Campus,” chemistry reads, and the camaraderie on set.
• “We cast all six or seven leads in the same day...that was my first part of the audition, and it was the last part of the process.” – Belmont, (43:38–44:31)
• Insights about sustaining ensemble dynamics between seasons despite increased attention and opportunities.

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10. Miscellaneous: Life, Parties, and Embarrassments

• Favorite drinks (Jake: vodka mixes, Belmont: tequila or whiskey), wild college drink stories, advice about being honest and assertive.
• Both share stories about accidents, injuries, and first experiences at clubs (“I was screaming at these women…couldn’t understand them…never been more out of place.” – Belmont, (77:06–77:27))

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I just want to be the guy who can wear a fedora and like be left alone about it.” – Belmont, (13:47)
• “Honestly, beyond that, I’m not really too therapist about anything.” – Belmont, (23:04)
• “I’m so addicted to weed. And I know it’s a problem.” – Jake, (23:07)
• “Go use your lungs as a reminder that, like, that’s what they’re for.” – Belmont, (62:49)
• “That honestly might have been some of the best advice we’ve ever gotten on this podcast.” – Jake, (62:49)
• “Flush the toilet.” – Belmont, (67:23)
• “There’s a real lack of assertiveness happening with some of these pussies.” – Belmont, (67:18)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [07:33] Introduction to Belmont Cameli & "Off Campus"
• [09:01] Behind the scenes: Adapting the books, season two developments
• [12:45] Belmont’s personal fashion eras & adolescence
• [23:07] Deep dive: Weed addiction and quitting stories
• [25:19] Saturn return and age anxiety
• [32:00] OCD and living with mental illness
• [37:21] Festival stories: Vampire Weekend, the Strokes, Phoenix
• [43:38] The "Hunger Games” audition day for "Off Campus"
• [62:10] Listener advice: Replacing vices, smoking, and cardio
• [71:08] Peyton joins to discuss thigh tattoos and body image
• [72:31] Advice: Dealing with dating insecurity after a “glow up”
• [73:36] Responding to discovering a parent’s porn stash
• [77:06] Belmont’s only clubbing experience

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Tone & Language

The episode is conversational, rapid-fire, and filled with irreverence, vulnerability, and encouragement. Jake’s energy is frenetic and self-deprecating; Belmont is warm, honest, and game to jump between serious and silly. Both normalize discussing taboo topics and make space for earnest self-discovery amid the jokes.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a quintessential Therapuss session: it manages to balance chaotic fun, pop culture obsessions, and unguarded self-reflection. Listeners get a relatable, behind-the-scenes look at Gen Z/Millennial insecurities, found family, and the ongoing challenge of self-improvement, all wrapped in the comfort of friends who tell it like it is.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Well, let's talk about how a year ago. It was a almost a year ago now, where we first podcasted together.

[A]

It was.

[B]

Why are you nervous?

[A]

Are you nervous? I'm not nervous. You guys just made me.

[B]

I'm not nervous. You guys just get awkward with each other.

[A]

No, we don't. You make it awkward.

[B]

Okay, then I'll stop being awkward.

[A]

Well. And I saw the invite last night.

[C]

We did.

[A]

And it was incredible. It was amazing, actually. Amazing?

[B]

I don't even know what that's about.

[A]

It's cool to know things.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so tell me.

[A]

It's about just like a couple and they have another couple over for dinner. It just proves that love is hard.

[B]

Air conditioning work in here? I'm like, not even kidding.

[A]

I don't really have anything. Are you gonna wear that hat all day? Obviously.

[C]

Yeah, kind of.

[B]

Right out of your closet.

[A]

That's so annoying.

[B]

I really like cute on me though.

[A]

No, it looks better on you than it does on me, but it's annoying. No, you absolutely cannot keep that.

[B]

Will has a huge pimple on his forehead.

[A]

Have y' all met him yet?

[B]

I actually. It's like the first thing I saw when he walked in the door.

[A]

Cass.

[B]

I'm kidding.

[A]

Cass is being mean to me today. Today.

[C]

You've been mean. I haven't.

[B]

You've been mean to me.

[A]

It's cuz you haven't drinking your juice, that's why.

[B]

Let's get into it. Start asking questions.

[A]

Okay. Did you ask us about our relationship? Oh, yeah. How's your relationship?

[C]

It's going okay.

[B]

It's going okay.

[A]

We've honestly followed good times and we have bad times.

[B]

But we fought a lot. Recently. I think that jealousy has come into play recently.

[A]

It has.

[B]

Between us.

[C]

Cass has found somebody who she deems her comfort figure. And that used to be me.

[A]

And it's tough. Well, how's your sex life? How's your sex life been?

[B]

I don't like when you talk about this.

[A]

A little stagnant.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Well, would you agree?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, let's talk about your birthday.

[B]

Oh, my birthday.

[A]

So this is a good place to air this out. Basically what happened was it was the final. It was basically, everyone knew the Knicks were going to win this game, so I was playing it at my pregame that I had for Cassidy's birthday. Well, they didn't know the Knicks were going to win. Yeah, yeah, but, like, there was a. That's why it was such a good game.

[B]

Yes, but can I intervene really quickly? I gave you the go on having. On having the Knicks game on during my pregame. Like, obviously it was unfortunate. It was the same night as my birthday. I honestly wanted to cancel my birthday. But anyway, I gave you the go. But then what I wasn't okay with is when we got to my. The venue that we were an hour and a half away already, to be

[A]

fair, we heard screams from the bar. We heard screams from down the street.

[B]

That's fine. But the principle of it all is, like, come and get me.

[A]

Yeah. We didn't want to miss a moment of the game. And it was at the very end. And we knew you would have sat there for 10 minutes being like, wait, what?

[B]

No, I wouldn't have.

[A]

I wouldn't have left Cassie.

[B]

You would not have left my birthday. Like, during the time when we went up, basically everyone left me. And it was Jake's idea because he gathered everyone.

[A]

No, I did it. You're making it seem calculated. We were getting in. We got booted from the limo.

[B]

Lest we forget, Jake didn't, you did, and I. No, but how did you end up

[A]

at the bar with me? Because we just all pulled up at the same time.

[B]

But I was. I wanted to stay with you. So that's also as. I was upset. I was literally said to you, do you want me to stay? And everyone's like, cassie.

[A]

Okay, basically, long story short, we're at the bar. I go outside to finish watching the. There's three minutes left in this game. Literally three minutes left. Three minutes left. It's about to be history. The next.

[B]

Well, turn your sound off, please. It's really inappropriate.

[A]

It's like, about to be history where there's. The city is alive. Like, the city is actually like, blood is pumping through the city. Please listen to me. Please.

[B]

Every time I trigger him so hard, he gets so passionate about why he took everyone to go watch it.

[A]

I didn't take everyone to go watch it. The only person I took was Julia. About to burst. The only person I took was Julia. I said, come on, we're from New York, we have to experience this. And I was already there. Will was already there. We ran. I was like, oh, my God. Well, and then I was like, put me on your shoulders. I got on Will's shoulders and I said.

[B]

And then, like, I just.

[A]

And then we walked back into Cassidy's birthday.

[B]

It wasn't, you know, you knew exactly what you were walking into.

[A]

Jake and I are in the corner like this. Let me talk to her. Let me talk to her. She had bodyguards around her. I said, please, I need a moment. I'm so sorry. Peyton's rubbing your back, looking at me

[B]

like this pan kept giving you the stank face. Like, literally, like you did something.

[A]

No, but she loved that she had your back.

[B]

She did. She was the only one who did. I left my birthday saying, Payton is

[A]

the only loyal friend.

[B]

Like, everything you did is fine. It's just like.

[A]

No, it was grab. It was five minutes.

[B]

Jake know it. I was sitting at the table alone on my birthday. It was at least 20 minutes. And I'm texting the group chat saying, where the everyone? And I got someone coming up to me being like, babe, where is everyone? Like, do you even have friends? Like, we're an hour. We're an hour and a half late to my birthday already. And I get hit with the worst question on your birthday. Basically asking, did anyone care to show up for your birthday? And I'm looking around, like, scratching my head like. Like, someone get me a vodka soda right now. Like, I was ripping shots. And we question and we wonder why I don't remember one single on my birthday.

[A]

Because you torn my second. I did not torment for 20 minutes.

[B]

In the beginning.

[A]

I said I was sorry. I said, look, look, it was a spur of the moment decision, but once I was there, you're there. It was like a crowd. It was like a general birthday.

[B]

It was so fun.

[A]

And I stayed with you till the very end. So did I. No. Yes, I did. You did. You guys, it was 4:00am you're right. But we did the night.

[B]

Well, Will and I. Will and I ended up together. But, like, that's always, always the case.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, they made out. They won't let me put the clip on the screen. It was too real.

[B]

I still haven't watched the clip.

[A]

I haven't either. I refuse to show you guys.

[B]

Okay. Honestly.

[A]

Okay. I'm nervous.

[B]

Wait. I don't know if I want to see y' all in all honesty.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Tonight on therapist, we have Belmont Camelli from off campus. Do you guys watch Off Wait. The best show I've ever seen in my life. Thank you. Will cast for the intro.

[B]

Love you.

[A]

Enjoy the episode. Love you. Hi.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

We have Belmont Camilli on Therapist today.

[C]

Hi, Jake.

[A]

Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you?

[C]

I'm so good.

[A]

What. What are you in town for?

[C]

I'm in town briefly for Obsessed Fest, which we concluded yesterday with Amazon and then various other meetings and fun things.

[A]

Are you having fun?

[C]

Yeah, I am. The whole cast is here. We had a really good time the last couple days, and we got to meet a lot of the actors on some of the other Amazon romance shows coming out too, and they're all very sweet. We had a good time.

[A]

Anyone in particular that you were like, omg.

[C]

Yeah. Well, Matt Cornett's a buddy of mine. He just had every year after come out, and they just announced the second season for his show, so I'm very happy for him and. And that crew.

[A]

Uhhuh.

[C]

Yeah. Everybody was really pleasant.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

What's up with you?

[A]

I don't know. I just got off a flight. My flight got delayed.

[C]

I know.

[A]

I was so miserable about it, but, like, you know what? Like, trust the higher power because I'm so happy that I flew this morning as opposed to last night.

[C]

It's good. Were you waiting in an airport for this flight or you got to hang out?

[A]

No. And by the way, I clocked. I knew. I knew I was gonna be waiting in the airport because there was two flights. There was a JetBlue flight and there was a Delta flight. The Delta flight was taking off at 7am and the JetBlue flight was taking off at 11. It kept moving. It was like 8, 10, 11. I said, if I go to the airport right now, I'm. I will be here overnight.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I took Delta.

[C]

You have good foresight.

[A]

I do have good foresight.

[C]

Well done.

[A]

How's season two going?

[C]

We're almost finished with the first two episodes of season two. We've read the first half of the episode. So we've read four. It's really good.

[A]

How different is it from the books?

[C]

Well, it's interesting because, like, you know, in a way, the featured couple is similar to the book. So, you know, like, there's a different featured couple each season. Oh, yes. Which is cool. But the show is sometimes an amalgamation. You'll have scenes from different books in. In one season, and we did that kind of last year too. There were some scenes from different books that made it into season one. Season two will probably be the same Way.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So, yeah, it's. It's very like the books, but it's. It's dissimilar in some ways, too.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But, yeah, I mean, it's just, like, getting back there and doing table reads is just a really nice reminder that our show is in the right hands. Because it's. Every time we get one of these scripts, I mean, they're so well written, and, like, our show really has a visual language now, and it's. It's been fun to see that kind of what we established in season one get translated into, like, a really, like, firm identity for season two. So it's like, when we're reading these scripts, we're like, oh, man. Like, this is off campus. It's really cool.

[A]

Oh. So, yeah. You feel more in it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

More comfortable.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

More established.

[C]

Yeah. And it's like, the ensemble is really alive in this upcoming season. Everybody has stuff going on all together, which is really fun.

[A]

Have you read the books?

[C]

I've read some of the books. Well, I've read my book.

[A]

Do you read in general?

[C]

Not much.

[A]

Neither do I. I hate reading.

[C]

I. I enjoy reading. It's just. It's kind of like anything, you know? It's like, I. The hardest part is just sitting down with a book.

[A]

I can't do that.

[C]

I can't. I don't get there.

[A]

When's the last book you read that wasn't off campus?

[C]

I read earlier this year. I took a vacation to Mexico and I read Kurt Vonnegut book Cat's Cradle, which was really good.

[A]

So you do read?

[C]

No, no, this is just. This is actually just.

[A]

I couldn't name one author if you had a gun to my head. Besides, who's the one with all the Netflix shows? No, what's his name? Harley Cobain.

[C]

Oh, see, I don't know who that is.

[A]

Yes. He's like the Stephen King of England.

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

Yeah. But he writes Thriller King, another novel. Do you think you would recognize him if you saw him in the street? I would.

[C]

I think so.

[A]

I would, yeah. I'd be like, wait, that's. He looks so familiar. Huh? Who is that?

[C]

And he would probably have this incredible bravado. When you see people like that, do you. Do you say hi to folks?

[A]

I did once.

[C]

Okay, who was it?

[A]

It was Ryan Beatty. Who? He is a singer. Songwriter.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's amazing.

[C]

Cool.

[A]

Amazing. And I couldn't help myself. And I had to say, like, I just die for you.

[C]

That's sweet.

[A]

Have you ever done that?

[C]

I stood next to Orlando Bloom once.

[A]

Where

[C]

it was like Peter Jackson did like a Beatles documentary years ago.

[A]

I need to start watching these fucking Beatles documentaries.

[C]

It's good. It's colorized. It's like old original footage that was black and white. It's been like re edited and colorized and stuff. It was a good documentary. But there was a, like a premiere for it at the. Who's the fella that did the Muppets? And there's that studio on La Brea.

[A]

Jim Henson.

[C]

Jim Henson Studios. Yeah. This was years ago and I Beck was performing doing covers of Beatles. And then I looked over and I was standing next to Orlando Bloom and I was like, that's cool, right? And he was very handsome.

[A]

He is so handsome. Yeah, the most handsome.

[C]

I didn't say hi though.

[A]

Yeah, well that makes sense because it's like. What do you say?

[C]

I think I was wearing like purple corduroys at the time or something.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I wasn't introducing myself.

[A]

You don't like purple corduroys?

[C]

Not as much anymore.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I used to have corduroys in like every color.

[A]

Really? Yeah, I've had just like out of like. Okay, tell me about your eras.

[C]

Okay, so. Well, I mean, it started out when I was in high school. I wore. I did bow tie Tuesdays with one of my teachers. And we really thought it was going to catch on, man. And we were like. Everyone was like, come on dude, wear bow ties Tuesday. You know, like dress up a little bit. School.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Actually, I guess this was junior high and we did it for a couple years, so.

[A]

So middle school.

[C]

Middle school. But you know, in middle school was a real era. I remember being in my counselor's office where I found myself quite a bit in middle school. And I had been trying a fedora unironically as. As an outfit choice to school at like 6:30 in the morning. You know, we'd all be there like. And I would have a fedora on already.

[A]

You're creative.

[C]

I was trying stuff. I've always tried stuff. And I remember, I'll never Forget saying to Mrs. Cusack, My counselor, I just want to be the guy who can wear fedora and like be left alone about it.

[A]

Okay, so you just didn't want people to like give you about the fedora, but you knew that they would give you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. But I wanted to, I guess, own it in a way where nobody could say shit to me about it. But I wasn't bought in enough, I guess.

[A]

Well, clearly, because you had to go to the guys counselor's office to Talk about the fedora. But did you eventually, like, have enough faith in the fedora?

[C]

No, I think I retired the fedora.

[A]

And then you did bow tie Tuesdays,

[C]

and I did bow tie Tuesdays, and I was trying a lot of bomber jackets back then.

[A]

You know what I've noticed about myself? A bomber jacket really does not look good on me.

[C]

It's the bomber jacket's universal. Everybody tries a bomber jacket once. You know, you.

[A]

I've seen you in bomber jackets. You look good in bomber jackets because you're tall.

[C]

Thanks for saying.

[A]

Of course. When I wear a bomber jacket, makes me. It makes me look fat.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

No, it doesn't.

[A]

Yes, it does that. And leather jackets. I can't wear leather jackets.

[C]

Leather jackets are honestly tough. They're all different shapes, and some of them are so, like, I am this shape. You know what I mean?

[A]

Like, boxy.

[C]

Yes, boxy. Like, really sticking to it.

[A]

Is it true you watch reality television?

[C]

Ultimately, yes, but not a lot of it.

[A]

What do you watch?

[C]

Summer House has been my show.

[A]

Just because of the whole to do.

[C]

Actually. Yeah. No. I started watching season 10, and then the to do happened.

[A]

That's. God. That's literally God.

[C]

You said it. I. It. I came in at a good time, I guess. But it was interesting because I got into Summer House, and, like, they'd been doing it for a decade, Right. And so I got, like, Kyle and Amanda, like, 10 years into their relationship, and I was like, what is up with these two?

[A]

I only watch Reunion.

[C]

Okay. Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What's that about?

[A]

I just never got into Summer House. I'm a Housewives guy. Okay.

[C]

Okay. I've seen some housewives.

[A]

What you seen?

[C]

I. I think I've seen some Salt Lakes City, which is a popular one. Right.

[A]

My favorite.

[C]

That's your. That's a lot of favorites.

[B]

I think my.

[C]

My sister's favorite.

[A]

My favorite.

[C]

Okay. I've seen some of that, and that's. It's not as palatable for me.

[A]

Oh, wait, you have siblings?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

How many siblings?

[C]

I have two siblings. I'm a middle child.

[A]

Wow. And what do they think about everything that's happened?

[B]

I think.

[C]

I think it's good and cool. We're very close, and I miss them a lot, actually. They think it's just kind of crazy. I mean, like, my. So I have an older brother and a younger sister. And, like, yesterday, I sent a screenshot of my lock screen, which was a notification from both the Chicago Bears and the Chicago Black Blackhawks who had been messaging me on Instagram and I sent it to Patrick, and I was like, this is my life now. And he was like, don't even. Don't even tell me that.

[A]

Oh, that. It is. It did happen quite fast.

[C]

Yeah, it really did. Yeah.

[A]

Were you expecting that at all?

[C]

No, no, no, no, no. I, I mean, I, I. And I think we really believed in the show. We. We knew we were making something special. But the way that it's had this kind of cultural moment, I think has surprised all of us.

[A]

Yeah, it. It's amazing.

[C]

Yeah. But it's been cool, you know? Like, I've. I've gotten to, you know, I've gotten closer with my favorite sports teams now, and, like, I'll go get to watch Bears games, hopefully from, like, the sideline, you know, Like, I've. I've done some stuff with, like, the Chicago Blackhawks. Like, I'm a big sports fan in Chicago.

[A]

Oh, that's so fun.

[C]

Yeah, I love them. I got caught a lot of games this winter, and now, you know, I'm building a bit of a relationship with them, which is really cool. I'm super excited.

[A]

Can you, like, throw the first puck?

[C]

Yeah, it's. Well, I threw the first pitch for the Chicago White Sox.

[A]

I saw that.

[C]

Which was really, really fun. And the equivalent. That's okay.

[A]

I'm sorry. I couldn't. I freaked you out.

[C]

I mean, it was like. It wasn't a huge.

[A]

I was gonna.

[C]

You didn't last. Like, I'm huge.

[A]

So sorry. It's okay.

[C]

I mean, I appreciate your. Your honesty.

[A]

So you threw the first pitch for the White Sox?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They're great, by the way. I remember when I was a kid and my dad is a big Yankees fan, it would always be the White Sox and the Yankees would always be head in head.

[C]

Yes, they. Yeah, back then, they were. The White Sox have been historically terrible. For the previous three years, the White Sox actually recently, two years ago, set a record for the most losses in a season in all of baseball history. And as you know, baseball's been around for a long time.

[A]

Maybe that's what I remember. Maybe I remember them being bad.

[C]

Yes, they were bad, but they're having a really good season right now.

[A]

Oh, good for them.

[C]

Yes, I'm very happy. Well, after I threw the first pitch out, they've been on a tear.

[A]

You brought the good energy.

[C]

Yeah. And we have the Pope on our side, too. The Pope is a Chicago White Sox fan. The Pope's from Chicago.

[A]

What?

[C]

The Pope.

[A]

The Pope isn't from. Where's the Pope? Well, the Pope where does the Pope reside?

[C]

Currently in the Vatican.

[A]

In Italy.

[C]

In Italy.

[A]

So he's not Italian?

[C]

Actually, I assume he's Italian because he's from Chicago. But he's. He looks like the Pope. You know, when you picture the Pope. That's it.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. And I've seen the film Conclave. Conclave. Yes, Conclave. So I've seen the film. So I remember the black smoke and

[C]

all that, but he's the first American Pope. I believe he's friendly.

[A]

That's what I think. That's what jarred me so much.

[C]

Yes, it is a little. It's.

[A]

It's.

[C]

That's a new thing.

[A]

So what's his vibe all about?

[C]

Mostly White Sox baseball, as far as I can tell.

[A]

Okay. You know, I know the Vatican because they went there in Twilight.

[C]

Yes, they did. I watched that for the first time this year. What? Yeah, I know.

[A]

You had just watched Twilight for the first time.

[C]

I've only seen the first two, but I watched them, I believe, back to back.

[A]

God, the last one's the best one.

[C]

I know. I really need to get through this.

[A]

So you don't know what happens in the last one?

[C]

How many are three or four?

[A]

Five.

[C]

Oh, and the fifth is the best one.

[A]

You don't even understand. I saw that in theaters. So what? You're about to see.

[C]

Shit.

[A]

Has anyone out there seen the fifth? So this. There is a part in the fifth. It's just. I'm just gonna say there's a part.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

On my full body. Chills. Like remembering being in the theater. I was 13 years old.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the entire theater just going,

[C]

holy. You know, honestly, I don't think I know what this moment is.

[A]

You don't, because you can't know. Or else the whole movie's ruined.

[C]

I don't know what it is. I do know that there's a pregnancy coming up.

[A]

Oh, yeah. The AI baby.

[C]

Yes. That's. This is what I'm really looking for.

[A]

Before AI, there was cgi. That's right. And it was a cgi. It's a CGI baby. And you. By the way, you can tell, that is cgi. The baby is, like, literally floating in her arms.

[C]

And why do you think they couldn't use a real baby for that?

[A]

It was a hot topic at the time. It wasn't one I was tapped into. Okay. But it was very confusing.

[C]

Is there. Is the baby, like, half vampire or half.

[A]

Yes, the baby is half vampire, but it doesn't make sense. And by the way, when she gives

[C]

birth this is what I've heard about

[A]

because just like, imagine giving birth to a monster.

[C]

Right, Right.

[A]

Like, you know what I mean? Because that's what vampires are at the end of the day. They're monsters.

[B]

Holy sh.

[C]

That's a real slant against vampires.

[A]

Question.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Was off campus. Did it start production? Was it in production prior to heated rivalry?

[C]

How did you get there? From vampires?

[A]

Because. And I'll tell you why. Because the hockey obsession we have as a culture right now was similar to the vampire obsession we had back then.

[C]

Okay, yeah, that's a good parallel.

[A]

So it went vampires, young teen dystopian. So you had like, oh, Divergent, Hunger Games. Now you have hockey.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So.

[C]

Oh, that's cool.

[A]

When did off campus start to get into production?

[C]

We started production in May of last summer, but we opt. Louisa, our creator and showrunner, started developing it. I like, I think two years before that.

[A]

Oh, wow. So before he did rivalry, we had

[C]

been developing and I don't know, I don't exactly recall when they shot it

[A]

might have been last summer.

[C]

Around the same time that we were shooting as well.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. Have you guys spoken to any of them?

[C]

Yeah, Hudson and I have correspondence. Well, we both use Ika Flores, who's our groomer, our hair and face.

[A]

Well, you know, we both use the same stylist.

[C]

Yes, we do.

[A]

Sydney. Hi, Sydney.

[C]

Hi, Sydney. I've been with Sydney since day one. And that's kind of since.

[A]

For how long?

[C]

Well, way after the fedora, but. But, like, since I got my first job where I needed a stylist. When I did Saved by the bell in 2020, I think we started working together.

[A]

What? Oh, wait, so you've known Sydney longer than me?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

This was a recent thing?

[C]

No, no. Sydney's been dressing me since. Yeah, the very beginning.

[A]

Is she the best?

[C]

She is the best.

[A]

Well, Belmont, what are you therapist about today?

[C]

Geez, you know, I'm hungry and I'm tired, Jake.

[A]

Oh, okay. Well, so we can get you food if you want. Celsius.

[C]

Honestly, beyond that, I'm not really too therapist about anything.

[A]

Oh, well, let me tell you about mine. Please. I'm so addicted to weed. And I know it's a problem.

[C]

Are you?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, my God. Let's talk about that. I used to be addicted to weed.

[A]

What happened? How did you stop? I can't stop. It's all I think about. I wake up, I'm like, I want to smoke right now. And by the way, I took a break for nine months. I Took a break for nine months, and then all of a sudden, this guy was like. This guy was like, do you want to smoke? I was like, yeah, I do, actually. I was nine months sober at the time, and I did it, and I've been on the wagon ever since. And, like, it's.

[C]

What is it like when you're high?

[A]

Okay, so some may say I'm the best high in America. Whoa.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Some may say Louise will say, that's not true. Louise will say I'm the worst, but that's not true. She's wrong. I am the best high in America. It. It gets to a point, though, after the first. So the first 10 minutes, if you're. If we get hot, well, you don't smoke anymore. If we got high together, the first ten minutes are bliss.

[C]

For you or for everybody?

[A]

Okay. It is like a show for the ages that I'll put on. Like, it is like everything lands. If the joke doesn't land, I acknowledge that it doesn't land. And then everyone's laughing. It's so good.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Then the next, like, two hours are

[C]

really bad also for everybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, so you've see of 10 good minutes.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And then you have two hours of. Of it not being good until it's

[A]

like my want to, like, crawl out of my body and my skin is

[C]

why I had to stop.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[C]

I couldn't do it anymore. Is your frontal lobe fully developed? It is.

[A]

Yes, it is. It is.

[C]

And congratulations, by the way.

[A]

Thank you so much. And it's so funny you say that, because the other day, it fully developed.

[C]

Did you hear it click into place?

[A]

I just was walking one, and I was like, oh, it's kind of like that. And I was like, oh. And I called Louise, and I was like, oh, my God. I just realized something. Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And she was like, no, yeah, it is like that, but my Saturn is returning, and I know that because my body is starting to hurt.

[C]

Your Saturn is returning?

[A]

How old are you?

[C]

28 years old.

[A]

Oh, yours is in the midst of it.

[C]

Well, my frontal lobe is.

[A]

No, but your Saturn is returning.

[C]

Does that have to do. That's not the brain also.

[A]

Well, no, but.

[C]

So basically, do we all have a Saturn?

[A]

Louise, please.

[B]

Saturn is in the same place every 28 to 30 years as where it was when you were first born.

[A]

So it's like, oh.

[B]

I mean, every time I explain, I'm like, am I explaining it?

[A]

So basically, when you turn 27, everything started to change. It's a Casey Musgrave song Everything starts to change. Everything starts to change and you get, like, sent in. Like, you get presented with a bunch of decisions and their hard decisions, and life, like, just kind of sucks dick for three years.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

But in your case, it's going great.

[C]

No, that happened to me a little earlier.

[A]

Okay. Like, for some people, it happens earlier. For me, I don't know. My wrist hurts, my back hurts. Like, I'm, like, feeling it in my body. Like, I think my Saturn is coming.

[C]

Okay. And so that's when it comes back around to the same place that it

[A]

once was when you were born.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Basically just, like, realigning your life, being like, what do you need?

[C]

What's happened to your wrist?

[A]

I have De Quervan's tendonitis.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It's basically when the tendon is really inflamed and it. It like so. But right now it's, like, fine. But like a week ago, if I went like this. This right here. Like that. Yeah, the tendon, I think that's what that is. Pops over the muscle.

[C]

Oh, that sounds painful.

[A]

It feels like someone's lighting a match to your tendon as it's going over the muscle.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Oh, no, it's okay. I just made it my whole personality for like a month, but it's fine.

[C]

Well, but also because. Is this affecting your routine?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Jake, you've been in the gym like nobody's business, brother.

[A]

Yeah. How do you know that, Jake?

[C]

I follow you on Instagram, you dingus.

[A]

I know. I have been in the gym. Okay.

[C]

Yeah, you have. How long has your fitness journey been going?

[A]

Three years. Right. It's very humbling to see before and after. So I was like, you know.

[C]

Yeah, that's what it's all about.

[A]

I was progress. I was in the gym and I was doing pull ups.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And my wrist hurt one morning, and I knew I should have just, like, let it go, but I kept doing them.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And then I got, like, a massage on the wrist, which made it kind of worse.

[C]

And then the good old wrist massage.

[A]

And then I. And then I started traveling. And then once I started traveling, it was. It was game over. I got a cortisone shot, traveled the next day. So the shot didn't do shit because, like, also. Well, I went to the first doctor, and the first doctor was like, here's your cortisone shot and here's steroids. And then I went to a second doctor and he was like. He gave you a shot in, like, the most random place of your Arms. But he was really hot, the first one.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So I wasn't complaining.

[C]

Thank you, sir.

[A]

But now the cortisone shot is really working, so I'm gonna start working out again tomorrow. Great. But I've been smoking a lot, so I'm really out of breath. And so it's gonna be hard to get back in there. But I'm gonna go back in.

[C]

Okay, let's go back real quick and I'll tell you how I stopped full.

[A]

Yes, please stop, please.

[C]

Smoking weed.

[A]

Tell me what happened.

[C]

So I don't know what happened, because I had been smoking weed a lot, like, pretty much daily for a very long time. Since, like, you know, high school. And then at some point, I guess this was when I was 23.

[A]

Shit.

[C]

No, no, no. It was later than that. It was around 24, 25, when that's when I stopped. When? Every time. And this was, like, nightly, you know? Cause it's routine. I would, like. I would just freak out. I would, like, feel my bones in my body and, like, be like. You know, I would have the classic paranoia. It was like, every single time. And it was kind of like you. Where the first, you know, 10 minutes is like, ooh wee. Very exciting.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And the rest was, like, really kind of unbearable. So I couldn't do it anymore. On New Year's Eve, I smoked all the weed in the house all together. Got really scared, really reminded myself why I'm not doing this anymore. And then for like a week, it was tough. Like, at the end of the day, you know, when I done all my stuff, like not to spark up a

[A]

joint, do is smoke.

[C]

But it only took a week, maybe 10 days.

[A]

I know. I know.

[C]

And you've done it before.

[A]

I think I'm going to stop when I go to Paris.

[C]

Does getting high affect your dreams?

[A]

I don't. I don't dream.

[C]

Okay, see, this is it. When I was smoking weed, I never dreamed. And when I. Like. In your nine months, did you start dreaming more?

[A]

Yeah. And I have the worst dreams. I have dreams that my teeth are falling out. I have dreams that my bones are being pulled from me. Pretty sure Louise was pulling my bones once.

[C]

Pulling your bones?

[A]

Yes, I think you were.

[C]

That's terrible.

[A]

Yes. Pulling them apart.

[C]

Do you have any good dreams?

[A]

What?

[C]

Do you have any good dreams? Never dreams.

[A]

I never have a good dream. Please. Do you hear that? Do you hear that?

[B]

I hear it. I hear it.

[A]

It's the World cup and it's in America this year, which means you can go and see Geek and get tickets for the World cup on SeatGeek, because it's the best place to get tickets for any live event ever. Because when you go on their site, there's a rating system from 1 to 10, 1 being not the best, 10 being the best. So you know if you're getting a good deal on the tickets you're purchasing. You can also use code therapist for 10% off your order. And if you click the link in the description and download the app, it automatically applies the code therapist for 10% off your order. That's code therapist for 10% off your order. Not only is the World cup in our own backyard this year, but Gracie Abrams is going on tour. Ryan Beaton is going on tour. Ariana Grande is on tour. There are so many incredible musical acts to see. Seatgeek is the easiest way possible to see them. That's code therapist for 10% off. Thank you again, SeatGeek, for sponsoring tonight's episode. You guys know that I'm very, very open about my OCD experience on here. OCD can look like a million different things. It can look like your brain making up random rules in order to get good luck or bad luck. That's wishful thinking ocd. Or that's magical thinking ocd. You could have to, like, blurt out things that you think, which is confession. Ocd. And ocd, if you don't know, stands for obsessive compulsive disorder, basically, is just really ruminating on the same thought over and over and over and over again. And it can manifest in so many different. So many different ways. I have struggled with it since I was 7 years old. I remember, literally, I used to have to touch things evenly. It was horrible. It's really horrible. A lot of people don't talk about it, but no CD does. No CD is the world's leading treatment provider for ocd. All of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy, exposure and response prevention, something I've actually recently been doing. It's also proven to be the most effective treatment for OCD for me. I find it to be effective because when you force. When you expose your mind and yourself to these intrusive thoughts and rituals and you sit in the discomfort, it really tells your body that you're still going to be breathing. At least for me, that's how I view it. And, like, you expose yourself to what you're scared of. And OCD for me is really based in fear. Therapy with no CD, is 100% virtual and covered by endurance for over 138 million Americans. It also includes support in between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone. I'm really grateful that I'm able to sit here and talk about it with so many people, because when I was a kid, so many people didn't talk about it. I had no idea what I had. I had no idea what it was, and it was really, really scary, to be honest. So I'm so grateful that something like NOCD exists to help people around the country struggling with ocd, because so many people struggle in silence, and it's really horrible. Cut the struggle in silence. My OCD is making me. Oh, my God, you guys. That's ocd. It literally was just like, cut the struggle in silence. Keep that in. That's exposure therapy. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with no CD, go to learn.nocd.com/jake and book a free call with their team. That's nocd.comjake. thank you again for sponsoring tonight's episode. I really love working with you guys and bringing more attention to something very important to me. What are you watching on TV right now?

[C]

I don't really watch a lot of tv. I really don't. When I'm at home. I like. I don't ever have the TV on.

[A]

You got to turn it on.

[C]

What do I watch?

[A]

Widows Bay.

[C]

Oh, I heard this is good.

[A]

It's fantastic. Yeah. Fantastic.

[C]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

It's the best show on television.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

It's the best show on television.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It's funny. It's scary. So with Matthew Reese.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Who's just to die for.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever seen Homeland?

[C]

Nope. There's a couple of shows that I really like, but they only come out every so often.

[A]

Okay. What?

[C]

Severances.

[A]

Oh, if you love Severance, then you need to watch Widow's Bay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like the same type of spooky, funny vibe.

[C]

Okay, great.

[A]

And it's both on Apple TV plus.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What type of show do you like? Because I'll give you a show to watch right now.

[C]

I like a really hard comedy, jokes per minute, 30 minute episodic comedy.

[A]

Oh, you should watch Hacks.

[C]

I haven't seen Hacks.

[A]

You should watch Hacks. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Hacks is like one of the funniest shows on television.

[C]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Watch Hacks. What have you seen Girls?

[C]

I've seen some of girls.

[A]

Okay, well, you have to watch the whole thing.

[C]

Yes, I do. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think that's about it for me.

[C]

Yeah. And then I like a big, heady drama like Drama?

[A]

In what sense? Like supernatural?

[C]

No. Well, I guess like. Like an Adam McKay. Like, kind of like. Like severance being a good example, or like Mad Men or like. Like intellectual drama. Really? Yeah, I think you should. It's great.

[A]

Apparently. It's amazing.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

People love it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I just never got it.

[C]

Did you try. Did you try it?

[A]

I didn't get it. Episode one, I said, okay. My parents were like, well, you have to go to bed. We need to watch Mad Men. And I was like, oh, right. What are you waiting. Like, what's going on? That's so. Because every episode I would watch was so, like, melancholy and, like, solemn. Like, where's the. There's nothing exciting happening.

[C]

Or have you seen, like. Have you seen Breaking Bad?

[A]

Of course, yeah.

[C]

And did you see Better Call Saul?

[B]

No.

[A]

And I've heard it's better.

[C]

It's. It's just as good, if not better.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

It's fucking incredible.

[A]

Why? Tell me why.

[C]

Well, so Bob Odenkirk, I mean, you love him in that role in Breaking Bad.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

He went to my high school, by the way.

[A]

Okay. He saw.

[C]

He saw all day, every day, baby. And Racy Horn is phenomenal in it. And, I mean, all the performances are great, but it tells the story of Saul kind of backwards. It starts way before you meet him in Breaking Bad. And so, like, his name isn't Saul Goodman when you meet him?

[A]

What?

[C]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

He's fake name.

[C]

Yeah. He's got a lot going on before he gets to the point where you meet him in Breaking Bad. And so it's all of that, and it's phenomenally. I mean, it's Vince Giligan, too. It's so well written.

[A]

So what type of music do you listen to?

[C]

All kinds of music.

[A]

Tell me, are you Spotify or Apple music?

[C]

Oh, Spotify.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I never understood Apple music.

[C]

Well, I got Spotify, like, when there was, like, a student discount back in the day.

[A]

I got it in 2013.

[C]

Yeah, probably right around then.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm a Spotify guy. I listen to everything. I listen to all sorts of stuff all the time.

[A]

What are you listening to right now?

[C]

I'm listening to a new artist that I just can't get enough of. Their name is Blue Brigada.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's two fellas from New Zealand that are now out of New York, and they just make some, like, really fucking solid alternative rock jams.

[A]

Like, melodic.

[C]

Some stuff. Yeah, some stuff. But it's like. It's just, like, good. Like, it's just solid alt rock.

[A]

What else would you consider alt rock?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Like Vampire Weekend wouldn't be considered all rock. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I would like them.

[C]

I love. Do you like Vampire Weekend?

[A]

I love Vampire.

[C]

One of the best days of live music I've ever seen.

[A]

I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous.

[C]

Just hear me out.

[A]

I'm hearing you out.

[C]

It was at Lollapalooza in Chicago.

[A]

Of course it was.

[C]

And it was a full day. We spent the whole day at the stage. Didn't leave to pee or anything. And the first up. The first act up was Vampire Weekend and then Two Door Cinema Club and then Phoenix headlined all on the same stage. And by the end of the day, we were like, right up front for Phoenix. And it was one of the greatest concert experiences I've ever had. Are you fans of the other. Those other two bands too?

[A]

Yes. What is Tudor Cinema Club saying? That I just love.

[C]

I can't tell. It's. What you know.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I love that song. How was it live?

[C]

It was amazing. I mean, all of it was great.

[A]

The Vampire Weekend. Did they. They do it for me every time.

[C]

Me too.

[A]

Do you. What's your favorite album?

[C]

I should know the names. Cape Cod. Is that the name of the song

[A]

that's off their first or second? Yeah, they're. I think it's their third album. Modern Vampires of the City or whatever. Yeah. Changed my life.

[C]

Yeah, they're incredible.

[A]

Changed my life. That's. Do you know the song Step?

[C]

Yeah, of course. I know Other whole.

[A]

Did they do that at Lollapalooza?

[C]

I don't recall. This would have been like over 10 years ago.

[A]

Oh, so maybe now. But Step is one of my favorite songs of all time. I actually just kind of had.

[C]

It's a good. It's a great song.

[A]

Yeah. I just had a similar outof Body experience at a concert. I saw the Strokes.

[C]

Nice. I've seen the Strokes as well.

[A]

They're amazing.

[C]

Also at Lollapalooza. And they're fantastic. They have new stuff out.

[A]

I think they do. And it's really good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So good.

[C]

Does Spotify. Are there a couple songs on Spotify that Spotify just like is like, this is your favorite song and I'm going to put it on every single playlist that you make. Every time you hit go to radio. It's like, here's this song again. Here's the song again. Does that happen to you?

[A]

No, because I'm a. I'm a Cure. Okay, so I'll always cue. But if it. If it go. And if it goes to, like. No. And I haven't. Honestly. Are you talking about the stuff that they'll, like, always? Autoplay.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What? Yours.

[C]

Like, one of mine is the adults are talking best, which I love. I love. But honestly, like, Spotify plays it for me every single day.

[A]

Well, because they know you.

[C]

They. But it's almost like, don't. But instead of knowing me so well, try to get to know me, you know, like, ask me some questions.

[A]

Right. Ask questions. Well, I think their version of asking questions is the songs you add to the playlists.

[C]

Right.

[A]

In general.

[C]

And I'm a bad playlist maker.

[A]

I. Okay, so I only have one playlist every year, and it's the year that I am. So right now I'm 26, so my playlist is called 26. Yeah, I'll send it to you after this.

[C]

I can't wait to listen to, like, seven.

[A]

It's just all of the. It's like my musical diary, so I've done it since I was 18.

[C]

That's really cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please send it to me.

[A]

I will. But the 18 one, it went from 18 to 22 because I was at college, so I just called it usc.

[C]

Word.

[A]

And I remember exactly where I was for each. Most. Most of, like, 20.

[C]

They end up being huge playlists. Or are you pretty particular about what you keep on there?

[A]

The USC one is, like, at least over a thousand songs.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

Because it was over four years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

But then I had 23, 24, 25, and 26.

[C]

What year? When were you in college?

[A]

I was in College from 18 to 22. Oh, what year?

[C]

Oh, so you went after high school, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Until you graduated.

[A]

I was in college from 20. I was in college from 2018 to 2022. Right. Which, by the way, I got confused.

[C]

In 2018, you were born in the year 2000.

[A]

I was born in 1999. Oh, at the very end.

[C]

Tail end, huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Man, wouldn't that have sucked if the world did end and you were just, like, a couple weeks old?

[A]

No, it would have been amazing because I wouldn't have known what was happening.

[C]

Oh, true. You wouldn't have felt anything.

[A]

I would have been like, oh, I just died.

[C]

You'd still be wailing. And then.

[A]

Yeah, I would have just died. Are you scared of death?

[C]

Honestly, I. I've been scared of death more in a good way, I think so. I've been thinking about it kind of a lot in the last. I don't know, chapter.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. It's come back. I grew up really Catholic, so that was always. I was super fearful of hell.

[A]

Are you still Catholic? Are you still Catholic?

[C]

I don't. I'm not practicing.

[A]

Okay, you're not practicing, but, like, do you, like, believe in a God?

[C]

Oh, yeah, I believe in a creator. Yeah. But I'm not. I don't. I don't.

[A]

That's how I feel as well.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I never, like, practiced anything. I'm just like. I know there's some up there.

[C]

Yeah, no doubt.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[C]

There's got to be. There has to be too much happened for us right here for.

[A]

And that's fine.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why. Why are you scared of death?

[C]

Well, just the permanence, I think. Yeah, well, the presumed permanence.

[A]

It is permanent.

[C]

We don't know, though. You know, it could be.

[A]

I. Do you believe in reincarnation?

[C]

I. Listen, I would love. I. I don't. I don't know, but. Hell, yeah. I want to be an animal.

[A]

I don't.

[C]

You know, it's fun to think about. What animal would you be, though?

[A]

I wouldn't. I want. I want.

[C]

You could have already been.

[A]

I want to be reincarnated as a supermodel.

[C]

Girl human.

[A]

I want to be reincarnated as a supermodel really badly. And I want to, like, literally, like, be like, oh, my God, you are, like, in my new life. Like, just like, you are so pretty. Like, do you want to be a model? And I'd be like, oh, my God, sure. And then, you know, everything just happens after that.

[C]

You want to be reincarnated to an existing living person?

[A]

Yeah. Did you go to college?

[C]

Very briefly. I went for one year.

[A]

Where?

[C]

University of Illinois.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Yeah. A verb and a champagne. I. In some ways, yes. And in some ways, no.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why'd you drop out?

[C]

I did not want to go to college.

[A]

I get that.

[C]

I was a business student. I was, like, a finance major, and I wanted to be a filmmaker, so I got the fuck out of there.

[A]

And you just took off and moved to L. A?

[C]

Almost. You know, I, like, moved to the city. I moved to Chicago for, like, a year and a half, and I was modeling then to pay the bills and support myself. And then I got an agent in Chicago and a manager out in la. So then I moved to la.

[A]

Tell me about the audition process for off campus. Like, what did that look like?

[C]

It was different for. I think all of us kind of had a different experience doing It. I didn't audition as Garrett until the very last day of auditions. I had met with our showrunners, Luisa and Gina. We zoomed, and they kind of pitched me the season one arc and the character. We had questions for them about their project, and we talked about it. And so then they did a chemistry read where there were 28 actors. They cast all six or seven leads in the same day. So a lot of people there were going out for a couple characters. You know, each role had, like, four or five actors that were there going out for it. It was crazy. But that was my first part of the audition, and it was the last part of the process. So I was there until the bitter end. I had to stay and, like, do stuff by myself so they could have tape of me because I hadn't submitted anything yet.

[A]

Oh. So it was like the Hunger Games.

[C]

It was just like the Hunger Games. And when some. When somebody was sent home, there was a big gong.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it was. It was a crazy day. I've never. I've done. You know, I've gotten to the end of audition processes like that before, but that was like. There were so many people. We're in one of those buildings on the Brea with no windows and just, like, you know, bad lighting. And we were there. I was there for, like, probably 12 hours.

[A]

This episode of Therapist is brought to you by booking.combooking. yeah. The other week, I watched a trip die in the group chat in real time. I've never experienced it before, but I literally watched it die. And I think the only way that there is to save it is to use booking.com. everybody has such different preferences. Some want a bath, some want a shower, someone walking distance. Some want this area. Some want ac. The only way to make sure a group trip happens is to use booking.com because booking.com takes everyone's preferences and gives you the best options of where to stay. Because once you have where to stay covered, everything else flows. All you need is a roof over your head, a place to call home at the end of the night, and then you can be out and about experiencing whatever city you're in. Right now, I'm trying to beg my friends to go to Nantucket. So I will be using bookie.com to try to find a house for that. I just want to take advantage of the fact that it's summer. It's warm out. Trips are important. Trips are so important. Inside jokes on trips are important. Those are literally my favorite thing in the entire world, is when you get to, like, the final day of the trip, and it's like the psychosis of the trip is hitting, and you're just laughing at everything. And booking.com makes that psychosis possible. Go on, book that trip. It's easy. Booking.com. booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. Do you like to party? Yeah, I love to party.

[C]

Yeah, I love to party. We like to party.

[A]

I love. We party.

[C]

Yeah, we like to party.

[A]

What's your drink of choice?

[C]

Well, it kind of depends. I'm. I'm like. I mean, is tonight a tequila night or a whiskey night? And so, like, I had a couple tequila nights lately. Well, I've been in town here.

[A]

Well, I'm a child, so I drink vodka.

[C]

Oh, Jake.

[A]

I know. I.

[C]

Lemonade or cranberry?

[A]

Yes, I do. Vodka, cranberries, vodka lemonades. Vodka. Okay. And then if I'm like, you know, I'm like. I'm like, oh, you guys, I'm on a diet. I'll get a vodka soda with a splash of cranberry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I'll get. Well, my ultimate drink, my favorite drink of all time, is a vodka Red Bull.

[C]

Yeah. And were you just slugging those at USC?

[A]

No, I was slugging AMFs. So do you not. Do you know what? Can I tell you what an AMF is? Yeah, I called it audios.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I don't know what's in them, but they were blue. Had you ever drink an amf? What. What was your drink, like, ranch water?

[B]

I don't know what I would drink.

[C]

What it was like.

[A]

No, I did ams, whiskey, Cokes and stuff for me. You never did like a Long Island Iced Tea?

[C]

No, I. I did, but I broke

[A]

my wrist on a Long Island Iced Tea.

[C]

Maybe that's. Is that. That's the impetus of this injury?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

On. On. And a Long Island Iced Tea.

[A]

I drank like, I was in high school. I drank a bunch of Long Island Iced Teas.

[C]

You were on in a Long Island Iced Tea?

[A]

I was, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I went on my friend's shoulders in the street and fell and broke my wrist. And they were like, you're fine. And this lady walked by us and was like, are you okay? Your wrist is bruised and swollen and big. And then I. I got in the cab and we. We drove to the hospital, and then my friends left me. And then my parents met me, and my mom was like, oh, my God, are you okay? And I was like, I'm drunk. And she. I've never in my life seen her so mad at ever in my entire life because she thought someone was gonna call social services because they would think that she gave me the alcohol and they had to give me, like, morphine for the pain, but I had to tell them I was drunk. Oh, and then I threw up all over the doctor.

[C]

Did you really?

[A]

Yeah, he snapped my bow back in the place, and I went and I threw up all over the doctor. And then.

[C]

Was he hot or.

[A]

No, you know, actually, he was bad looking. Okay.

[C]

This kind of makes it worse.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think he was bad looking, but bone bugs me the out. I can do needles. I'm actually so good with needles.

[C]

Me too.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you get IVs a lot?

[C]

No. I mean, I, I, I'll. I give blood once in a while, and then I get, you know, like, you know, you have physical every year. Yeah, that's needles.

[A]

You give blood for, like, the greater good. Sometimes just like, you wake up, you're like, I want to get blood today.

[C]

Yeah, I've been.

[B]

I'll be.

[C]

I'll be making blood all the time, too.

[A]

Oh, what. What do you mean you'd be making blood?

[C]

We're, like, currently in the throes of making a bunch of blood right now as we sit here speaking to each other. Yeah. Have you broken bones besides your wrist?

[A]

Just my wrist.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Have you broken bones?

[C]

I've broken a lot of bones, yeah.

[A]

What bones?

[C]

Both of my clavicles.

[A]

What's a clavicle?

[C]

The collarbone.

[A]

Is that why he calls it clavicular?

[C]

I think so.

[A]

Right, right.

[C]

Yeah, but, like, the clavicle isn't the most. Like, why.

[A]

Wait, why did he pick both of your collarbones? Doing what? Skiing.

[C]

Separately? No, playing. Playing football. I broke.

[A]

Oh, it makes me feel sick.

[C]

I broke this left one off at the sternum here, like, basically right there. And then I broke this one off at the shoulder a couple years later during the pandemic. I was really drunk and I was on a kayak.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I've also broken both of my ankles and how. A couple fingers. I played a lot of sports.

[A]

What sport was your favorite?

[C]

Wrestling.

[A]

You wrestled?

[C]

Yeah, I wrestled. I didn't make the basketball team in eighth grade.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And I really wanted to make the basketball team because basketball's cool and I didn't really know anything about it, but I got cut from, like, the B team basketball team in eighth grade, so I was like, it. The only other sport in the winter is wrestling. And then I wrestled, and I won conference that year, and I was like, oh, Maybe I'm good at this. And I was.

[A]

How do you win wrestling?

[C]

You just beat everybody.

[A]

But, like, what do you. I don't understand. Like, what do you.

[C]

So there's two ways to win in wrestling. You have a team, and, like, each guy wrestles at a different weight class. Front. Like, in high school, it's.

[A]

Oh, see, I could never. What? Because they weigh you in. They weigh you in front of everyone.

[C]

Oh, they'd be weighing it all the time.

[A]

Yeah, I. I weigh in private.

[C]

In your boxers. You get all the guys, like, from your team and the other team, and you're in the locker room, and you, like, stand next to the guy you're gonna go wrestle in an hour, and he. Like, he's in his underwear, and you're in your underwear, and, like, you both weigh the exact same amount. And then you go. You get out there and you eat, like a little bar or, like, you know, you have a snack because you're so, so hungry. And then you go. Leave it all out there on the mat, man.

[A]

But how do you win?

[C]

You. You either win by points or you can pin somebody.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Put them on their back where they can't. It can't get up.

[A]

Was it fun for you?

[C]

I loved it. Yeah. I was like, an angry kid. So football and wrestling, I got to get. I like.

[A]

You were an angry kid?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Why?

[C]

I was pissed off, man.

[A]

At what?

[C]

I just kind of everything. I, like, my mom kept journals from, like, when we were born until, like, we were tots. Like, she. Like. Like, for the first, like, two years of our lives. And there are entries. She's like, you're 11 months old. Every time we tell you no, you laugh at us. She would, like. She'd be like, dear little devil. And I'm like, not even a year old yet.

[A]

What's your birthday?

[C]

Same as my Mom's, actually. It's February 28th. Pisces.

[A]

I love Pisces.

[C]

Me too.

[A]

Yeah, but Pisces do. My best friend is a Pisces, and she gets angry, too.

[C]

Yeah, I've. I've grown up quite a bit, but it's.

[A]

It's like righteous anger. You're angry for good reason.

[C]

I was just curious, I think was the thing. It was like, if you told me no, I just wanted to know why. And if I couldn't know why that's, like, her, then I couldn't understand.

[A]

Yeah, and then you just. They were like, what the.

[C]

Yeah, and then I just get angry.

[A]

Were you good at math?

[C]

Very good at math.

[A]

I Loved math, too.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

What was your favorite?

[C]

I love geometry. That was my favorite.

[A]

Okay, that was my least favorite.

[C]

See? It's pretty polarizing.

[A]

My favorite was pre. Calc.

[C]

Yeah, Pre. Cal was fun, too.

[A]

I just thought it was like a puzzle, and once I could figure it out, it was just so rewarding to, like, do. Yeah, but I'm not the type of person that would be good at it, so the fact that I got myself to be good at it.

[C]

That's cool.

[A]

I was like, wait. I'm kind of hurt.

[C]

Did you take math, like, all through college?

[A]

No.

[C]

No.

[B]

That.

[C]

Right.

[B]

No.

[A]

I stopped with calculus in my senior year. And I thought calculus was just so boring.

[C]

Yeah, I get that. I was a math. I'm still like, I guess I haven't in a while, but during the strikes, I was a math tutor for, like, some kids, which was really fun.

[A]

You're lying.

[C]

No, I was a tutor when I was a little kid. I used to tutor, like, the other kids down the street that were a couple years younger than me.

[A]

How. How old were the kids that you were tutoring?

[C]

Like, recently?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Middle school age or, like, end of elementary school?

[A]

They just love you so much. And did you guys have the best time?

[C]

We had so much fun. Yeah. I mean, like, half of it was, like, we would hang out, and the other half was be like, dude, you gotta figure out.

[A]

It's funny you mentioned that, because I was thinking about my babysitting days, because I used to babysit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

One time I was babysitting this kid and he started crying into his pants. So I called his parents to come home, and they got really angry at me. And at the time, I was like, why are you so angry at me? But now looking back at it, I'm like, well, of course they're angry at me. They hired me to take care of their kid. And the second something bad happens, I called him to come. Can you imagine?

[C]

How old is he?

[B]

And it's like, something bad happens, and it's just. You just went to the bathroom.

[A]

Yeah, Like, I. And I was like, stop crying. Stop crying. Oh, my God. It was so bad. It was so bad. It was so bad. It was, like, the worst night of my life. The money was not worth it.

[C]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

But babysitting is the easiest way to make money.

[C]

Yes. And I needed to make money because there was nothing going on during the strikes.

[A]

Nothing.

[C]

And I love kids, you know?

[A]

Do you want kids?

[C]

Totally.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I can't wait to be how many. I would, like. I'm From a family of three. Both of my parents are family of three kids. I like three kids.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. I'm not, like, dying on that hill.

[A]

I want two.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Theo and Annabelle. Theo's older. Annabelle's younger.

[C]

Great. By the way, those are actually great names.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

I'm so ready to tell people when they have stupid name ideas, but I respect it. Yeah, those are.

[A]

Thank you so much. Theodore. And then Annabelle. Anna B. For short. Theo for short. Because my best friend growing up. Well, one of my best friends growing up was named Annabelle, and people would call her Anna B. And I thought it was. So she. That's cute. But people. My friend this weekend was like, I actually only see you with one kid, and I think you're a boy dad. And I think it's just the.

[C]

I could really see that.

[A]

And do you know I'm recently a godfather.

[C]

Oh, congratulations.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[C]

That's exciting.

[A]

And I just bought a shirt at a vintage store that says Godfather, and then on the back it says Jeff. I don't know who Jeff is, but. Yeah.

[C]

But congratulations to Jeff, who's also to

[A]

me, and to you as well, for being the godfather.

[C]

Of course.

[A]

I'm so excited.

[C]

That's really cool. I want to be a godfather.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Do you have godparents?

[A]

No.

[C]

I do. It's my aunt, my uncle.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

This is great. I feel like I could talk to you all day.

[A]

What? Yeah. Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Quit fucking screaming at me.

[A]

Sorry. What's your, like, favorite thing to do after a long day at sat? Like, do you all hang out?

[C]

Yeah, we hang out all the time.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. Last year, it was a lot of what we called Belmont's House, where I would have everybody over and we would do costume parties.

[A]

That's sweet.

[C]

Everybody's a little busier this summer, so we haven't even done a Belmont's house yet. But I'll have the party fill invite out soon for it. But, yeah, we hang a lot of times. We go to the park or now we go for drives. A lot more one on ones this year.

[A]

I was about to say, does it feel different filming season two with more eyeballs on it?

[C]

No. What's nice is that, like, whatever the magic of making season one was is still very much alive. It's all the same crew. It kind of just feels like we went home and we just, like, didn't, like, really skip a beat. Feels like we were just right back. I think in our personal lives, we are very aware of the eyeballs, but in the work of acting and performing and working on this show. That's all the same.

[A]

Got it? Yeah, got it. You just don't get to have as much.

[C]

Yeah, we're all a little busier, you know, like, it's given us some opportunities and, like, we'll travel a bit more. So what's really nice so far about season two is like, I'll pick up Steven and we'll go for a drive and get coffee or, like, you know, like, Ella and I will do the same, or Jalen and I will go play catch at the park. It's. It's nice. Yeah.

[A]

And you film in Toronto?

[C]

Vancouver.

[A]

Vancouver. So sorry.

[C]

It's beautiful in the summer there. Oh, my God.

[A]

What's it like?

[C]

It's gorgeous. There's mountains all over and the ocean right there.

[A]

And it's warm.

[C]

Yeah, it's. It's warm. It's really warm this summer, and it's really nice. It rains all the rest of the year except for the summer months when we shoot, which is, you know. That's nice.

[A]

And how's the food?

[C]

That's great. Vancouver's a real melting pot of cultures.

[A]

People from all over Vancouver in the summer. Actually, the more that I think about it now.

[C]

Yeah, I bet you have.

[A]

I haven't. We had a phenomenal, phenomenal meal.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

At some. Was it sushi? Was it sushi? That was one of the best meals of my entire life.

[C]

Yeah, there's great sushi.

[A]

Love Vancouver. The shopping is great, too. I bought a great pair of swim trunks there.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

Yeah. That I wear every day. They look good on me, even if I'm fat.

[C]

What's the inseam on those puppies

[A]

they go to here?

[C]

Oh, it's like seven.

[A]

Yeah. I wear seven. And everyone's like, you should wear shorter.

[C]

You like a long swim trunk.

[A]

I do. I'm really insecure about my thighs.

[C]

Okay. Get a thigh tat.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I wanted to get one so bad, and everyone was like, you can't do that. Do you have a thigh tat?

[C]

I do have a thigh tat.

[A]

What is it?

[C]

It's. Do you know the band the national at all?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

One of my favorite bands. There's a song called Graceless by them.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

And the bridge is a lyric that says, there's a science to walking through windows without you. It's my favorite song. It's kind of hard to explain, but this is an image of, like, what, those. It's like a visual representation of those lyrics. It's here. I'd have to take My pants off to show you.

[A]

But it's cool, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I think I'm gonna get a thigh tat.

[C]

You really should.

[A]

I'm gonna do it.

[C]

I mean, thigh tat's a great way to start inching back those lyrics and feel good about it.

[A]

I'm gonna get a th.

[C]

Hell, yeah. Do you have other tattoos?

[A]

No, I've never gotten a tattoo.

[C]

Five is a good place to start.

[A]

What should I get?

[C]

Well, I mean, it's crazy. You don't have an octopus tattoo.

[A]

Yeah. It just feels like too. Like too much.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe I get. I see the issue with the tap, for me, is that I'm inherently trying to be cool. So I. If I'm getting a tattoo, it really needs to reign true to who I am.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Like, it really needs to reign true to who I am. It can't just be like. Like a number or like. Like my favorite stroke song, because then, you know, like, it's like you're just

[C]

trying to be cool, but that would sounds like it would ring true to who you are.

[A]

I guess maybe. Maybe I'll get the street I grew up on, the 181st.

[C]

Oh, you get the address?

[A]

I'll just get one. A1.

[C]

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good way to start.

[A]

But like, that, like, the ones would look weird on a thigh. No, no. Okay.

[C]

One. Eight. One.

[A]

Yeah, it's kind of cool.

[C]

It's symmetrical.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, it was good. You could either do that on your thigh or on an arc, kind of like. Like you. You know, See, when people get, like, numbers on an arc, kind of like sternum, that would make you so tough.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna get a thigh tie. You should. Oh, sorry.

[C]

You should.

[A]

Okay. I'm gonna get a thigh cut.

[C]

Okay. Let's go right after this.

[A]

Okay. I would.

[C]

No, same. I don't have going on.

[A]

Should we go get that tats?

[C]

I have a good artist.

[A]

Should I. I'm not even kidding with you. Should we go get thigh tats?

[C]

Yeah. I have an open thigh. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Okay, let's go. Let's go get thigh tats.

[C]

Okay. All.

[A]

My mom is going to kill me. Okay.

[C]

But if we go get thigh tests, we also have to go get short swim trunks.

[A]

Yes. Okay. Let's get thigh tats.

[C]

All right. I'll look into it. We could also just. I mean, we could just go somewhere and.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I want a good. I want a good artist.

[C]

We want good stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

My memory is non existent at this point.

[B]

Same.

[A]

I cannot for the life of me remember anything about anything. I will even reconnect with old town friends and completely forget about them. Their names, et cetera. All I remember is that this is a person I've met and they proceed to tell me that we used to hang out all the time. I'm actually getting scared. What is wrong with me? Well, a recent study just came out that dementia can start in your 30s. So I would definitely check there first.

[C]

Yeah. And look out for, I guess, aluminum.

[A]

What?

[C]

Right.

[A]

What?

[C]

Wait, what? Don't they say that, like, aluminum in antiperspirants and, like, deodorant and stuff will give you Alzheimer's?

[A]

What? I can't. Everything gives you Alzheimer's. Benadryl gives you Alzheimer's. Does it? Deodorant gives you Alzheimer's. Weed gives you Alzheimer's.

[C]

I think you're just meant to read or, like, write or.

[A]

Yeah, you have to, like, do your brain.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it must be the phone. I mean, it must be the phone.

[C]

Yeah, I think so too.

[A]

I'm so excited to get thigh tats.

[C]

Me too. Should get a phone.

[A]

Oh, my God. Come on. See, Nolan, like, sometimes you really just pick the perfect ones.

[C]

Oh, hell yeah.

[A]

And it's. He doesn't know. And it's just like. He just. It's fate with you. Kismet. It is. I've been smoking for two years now. I'm tr. Oh. So my advice for that other person is, yeah, maybe go to a doctor and read and, like Pratt and move your brain.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, just take notes. Maybe.

[A]

I've been smoking for two years now. I'm trying to be better for both my mental and physical health, but I genuinely can't quit. Every night when the clock strikes 9pm, I feel like I have to smoke. I've even gone as far as throwing all of my weed away and later found myself digging through the garbage. I did that the other week. Deep down, I know I should quit, but tbh, I love it. Help.

[B]

Help.

[A]

This is for you, not me. I mean, in the throes of it,

[C]

I've been through exactly this thing. You gotta replace a vice with a vice. You gotta do something else. A lot of times a healthy vice is a good alternative, but for me, it was like, okay, if I'm up my lungs because I'm smoking weed every single day, I'm gonna target the lungs to be the point of change. So I started doing cardio, which I hated doing. I did not want to do Cardio. But then when I went and did cardio and I got done and I, like, my lungs hurt. I was like, okay, well, you know, next time when I do this, they

[A]

won't hurt as bad because I've stopped smoking.

[C]

Because I've stopped smoking. So, like, go use your lungs as a reminder that, like, that's what they're for.

[A]

That, honestly, might have been some of the best advice we've ever gotten on this podcast. Literally, ever.

[C]

Because, you know, when you do cardio and, like, you've been smoking for a lot and, like, you, like, taste.

[A]

I know, but I reward my cardio with, like, a smoke.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Like, when I run a 5k for two weeks and every time I get back, I smoke a cigarette or a joint.

[C]

Okay. So maybe that's not the solution for you.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

You should start smoking earlier in the day. Then when it comes 9pm you don't have this whole debacle because you're already high.

[A]

Maybe I won't smoke tonight. I'm gonna smoke tonight.

[C]

Now you are.

[A]

I'm pretty sure my friend doesn't brush her teeth. It's happened two to three times now where she comes in my car and smells so bad I have to crack the windows. Her tongue often looks very white and caked, and it's so gross. How do I kindly bring this up to her? You say, your breast smells bad. If my breast smells bad, Alice will be like, your breath stinks.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Have you brushed your teeth?

[C]

Yeah. Honey, that's just not. That's not you.

[A]

Is this, like, a new friend? I'm confused. Like, if Julia's breath smells bad, I'd be like, your breast smells bad.

[C]

What kind of friend do you have that you wouldn't tell him?

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Thanks. Like, maybe, you know, that only happens with.

[A]

That's why my number one fear of smelling bad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's why my. It smells like I really don't do well with smells. I hate refrigerators. I hate smelling bad.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I hate cold food that's supposed to be hot and still smells like hot food.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Does not give you the chills a little bit.

[C]

It's gross.

[A]

Like cold spaghetti, marinara. And the marinara is all clumped up. And you can still smell the marinara, but you look at it and it's like, clumped up and you touch it and it's cold.

[C]

I honestly. You're making me. I would eat that.

[A]

You would eat.

[C]

That sounds good.

[A]

Cold pasta and whatever.

[B]

I love cold spaghetti.

[A]

I can't with you.

[C]

That actually sounds good. Do you ever smell something and it transports you back to the beach place that. Whatever, wherever that used to smell like you have, like, a wolf, like, ice

[A]

cream shop that smells remotely like Ben and Jerry's. I get transported back to Ben and Jerry's when I was a kid.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I used to drink out of little water cups.

[C]

That's cool. Don't you love when that happens?

[A]

Yeah, it only happens with me with that.

[C]

Only with Ben and Jerry's.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, it happens with other stuff. You just don't remember.

[A]

Oh, really? Yeah. Well, when. When does it happen for you?

[C]

Whenever I walk into, like, a. Like a big. Like a. For some reason, everywhere smells like the field house at my high school. Just, like, the big gym. Like, whenever I walk onto a stage.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

I'd be like, oh, man, it feels like I'm at a tournament or something.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That happens a lot. And then sometimes, like, I. I was in a garage in la. Was in my garage, somebody else's garage that smelled just like my grandmother's garage in the house that she lived in when we were kids. And I was like, holy fuck. And it, like, took me back like that. And then I was, like, thinking about all the stuff that's in the bins in her garage and, like, like, doing laundry out there and stuff. And like, it was the exact same smell, and I hadn't smelled it since.

[A]

Yeah, sometimes I feel that way about, like, laundry machine. Well, I think I just like how laundry, like, exhaust smells.

[C]

Yeah. Interesting.

[A]

You know? You know, like, when the steam comes

[C]

out, you stand in front of it.

[A]

Okay, so what tattoo should I get?

[C]

No, just get a hot dog.

[A]

No, I was gonna get a banana peel. Oh. Because this is my reasoning for it, and I think it makes sense. I have a quote above my bed that says that Manny actually painted. It says if you slip on a banana peel, people will laugh at you. But if you tell people you slip on a banana peel, it's your laugh that's nice. That's kind of how I live my life.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But, like, is a banana. I'm gonna get a banana peel.

[C]

I think it's.

[A]

That's what is truest to me.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you do it in, like, the style of, like, Andy Warhol's banana or.

[A]

Yes. Oh, my God, yes.

[C]

But it could be cool. It could be like a take on that famous image of it said instead of it being a banana being, like, the peeled version of it, would you have it kind of like with the fucking stem up and, like, the. It, like, splatted out.

[A]

Ooh.

[C]

Or is it a profile with the banana.

[A]

Well, this is a good question. I would have whatever tattoo artist that you're telling me about. Show me, show me. Okay.

[C]

Because there's different compositions for this, so I'm interested in what you'd prefer.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna get a banana peel. That's what it is.

[C]

That's a good idea, actually.

[A]

Why do you have a banana peel and then I can tell you what.

[C]

Listen to this.

[A]

I like to laugh at myself before you can laugh at me.

[C]

Bitch, bitch,

[A]

bitch. My mom's boyfriend doesn't flush the toilet at my house. And when he's downstairs, he uses the bathroom near my room, so it's, like, technically my bathroom. And I constantly find his pee in my toilet. Literally. How do I even bring this up? Help. Say you need to flush the toilet. Some of these problems. I'm like, you just need to be like, flush the toilet.

[C]

There's a real lack of assertiveness happening with some of these pussies.

[A]

Yes. I couldn't agree more.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, really, a lot of these things are solved by one of my favorite things in life, which is speaking plainly. Flush the toilet.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You can say your piss is in the toilet. Please flush.

[A]

Are you a confrontational person?

[C]

I. I'm not out there looking for it, but when I find confrontation, I'm very comfortable within it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. Because I speak plainly, and that's not to be mean. It's not. It's not also to be too polite, but, like, people need to hear exactly what they need to hear. So it's good to just say things how they are.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So, like, you. You keep peeing in the toilet, and then when I go in there, I'm looking at your pee. Go ahead and flush that puppy.

[A]

One time when I was on a flight, I peed in the toilet right before. Because I always pee right before we take off. Because I have, like, really bad peeing OCD.

[C]

On the airplane or.

[A]

Yeah, on the airplane, I always pee right before we take off. Like. Oh. Like, right before the doors close, Right before everyone finishes boarding. I'll go pee.

[C]

Sorry. You go bored. You put your thing upstairs, and I go pee, and then you go pee.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. And I forgot to flush. I thought, like, I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't really think it mattered that much. I don't know. And the flight attendant came out and said, who didn't flush?

[C]

No way.

[A]

Right. She said, who didn't flush? And I said, me. I said, me. And I literally, I said, I'm so sorry. It was me. And everyone looked at me and was like, why would you ever admit that?

[C]

Right? But I mean, it's not the worst.

[A]

It was really embarrassing, but good for you. I said, I didn't flush, and I'm so sorry. And she felt so bad, right?

[C]

Because what is. What's her deal?

[A]

But, like, what is your deal? She's like, we need to flush. I'm like, are we on a school trip on a commercial airplane?

[C]

Right.

[A]

It's not like I took a. In the toilet and didn't flush it. Then you could be like, who the didn't flush, Right?

[C]

There's a turd sitting, literally.

[A]

My crazy roommate has been tracking my location constantly. We shared live 360. One time while going out, I forgot about it until our mutual friends told me. She leaves the app open on her phone, zoomed in on my location at all times. This weirded me out, so I turned my location off and she freaked out at me and started asking people if they knew where I am, even when I tell her where I'm going. You need to watch Single White Female or the Roommate with Late Meester.

[C]

Okay, that's horrifying.

[A]

Maybe.

[C]

That's very scary stuff.

[A]

Well, that's why I'm saying you need to watch the Roommate with Late Meester, because that's what happens in the Roommate with Late Meester.

[C]

Yeah, I'm gonna watch the Roommate with Latent Meester as soon as I get the chance.

[A]

She. She has a roommate and the Roommate. I can't. I don't remember if the roommate is Late in Meester. The other one isn't, but sure.

[C]

Well, they're both.

[A]

It's like, based on Single White Female.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's. That's very spooky. Yeah. No, turn that location off. Keep it off.

[A]

Keep it off and be. And stay far away. Yeah, there's no fixing that.

[C]

Nope.

[A]

Can I have my phone really quickly? I need to call for approval on the thigh tat. Oh, Peyton is off campus's number one fan.

[C]

Oh, my God. Incredible.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

Say hi to Belmont.

[C]

Hi, Peyton.

[B]

Oh, I'm sick.

[A]

I'm sick.

[C]

What's up, sister? How are you? Hi.

[B]

I'm your biggest fan.

[C]

I'm yours now.

[B]

Thank God I answered. Jake, I just heard my computer ringing.

[C]

We almost didn't get you.

[A]

I'm obsessed.

[B]

I'm obsessed with you bad.

[C]

That's awesome. Thanks.

[A]

Do you have any questions?

[B]

Your show Your show's awesome.

[C]

Thank you very much. We work very hard on it.

[B]

Are you filming season two right now?

[C]

We currently are, yes.

[B]

Holy hell. Okay, so I read all the books.

[A]

Yeah. She read all the books.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Good for you.

[B]

I'm gonna. I'm an OG fan.

[C]

Respect.

[B]

What was your favorite scene to film?

[C]

Probably the scene with me with Garrett and Dean in the. In the weight room.

[B]

I mean, smash.

[A]

So the reason we called is because. Should I get a thigh tat?

[B]

You have to, Jake. They're so hot. I always tell you this.

[A]

I told you.

[C]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

You called. So can I get.

[B]

Do you have one?

[A]

Yes, he has one.

[B]

Of course he has one.

[C]

It's super hot.

[A]

Yeah. And so. But he said. He said he has nothing to do for the rest of the day, so he would take me to get one after this.

[B]

You have to go.

[A]

I have to go, right?

[B]

I wish I was gonna be there, but you have to go, so what would you get? Because I don't want you to, like, be manic and, like, get something weird. A banana peel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I knew it. Yes.

[A]

Got the banana peel.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. I. I need a tattoo.

[C]

You need to calm down.

[A]

I need a tattoo.

[B]

He doesn't know how to calm ever.

[C]

I can't believe you have so much enthusiasm for the tattoo idea now. I can't believe you haven't gotten one.

[A]

Because it's.

[B]

I tell him, like, thigh tats are hot. It's fun.

[C]

Well, he told me he wears.

[B]

He hyper fixates on something, and then he'll, like, get manic and not do it.

[C]

He told me he wears really long swim trunks. He was like, I wear jeans to the beach. And I was like, we need to get a thigh tat. And then it'd be more comfortable in short shorts.

[B]

Also, Jake, like, you're hot and your body's hot.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Get shorter fucking shorts.

[C]

Yeah, decorate it with cool tattoos.

[A]

Okay, I guess you're right.

[B]

Okay, so you need a side tat and you need new bathing suits.

[A]

That's what I told him, but only if he. Only if. Only if he can take me.

[B]

He has to take you, Belmont. You have to take him.

[C]

I'm gonna do my best. I'll be the liaison for this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Love you. Have so much fun.

[A]

Thanks. Love you.

[C]

Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[C]

It's a really good idea.

[A]

I have insane imposter syndrome when it comes to dating because I grew up weird and unattractive. Sorry. It's literally how I feel. I had a crazy glow up. But still, anytime a guy that's Mildly attractive and. Or well, like shows interest in me. I panic and get scared. Even if it's a guy that I'm interested in, I find myself self sabotaging. Is there any way to get over this?

[C]

Yeah, of course there is. I practice it.

[A]

What?

[C]

Just practice?

[A]

You don't have any advice for this, do you?

[C]

No, I really don't.

[A]

That's okay. I don't really have any advice either because I'm.

[C]

But it does sound like you had a good glow up and so.

[A]

Yeah, on the glow up. Oh, my God. You know what you need to watch?

[C]

Quick, tell me.

[A]

Oh, my God. Watch the Princess Diaries. Yeah, watch the Princess Diaries.

[C]

Are you talking about like the he's all that's and the.

[A]

Yes, but watch the. I've never seen he's all that.

[C]

What was the Amanda Bynes soccer one that was based on Shakespeare.

[A]

She's the man.

[C]

Oh, right, right.

[A]

Best movie ever.

[C]

So good.

[A]

Watch the Princess Diaries.

[C]

Yes, good. Watch that movie.

[A]

Okay. Ready for the last one?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

I accidentally discovered my father's porn addiction by finding a hidden tablet with thousands and upon thousands of videos saved. I obviously understand this is normalized, but the sheer amount of content I found saved was not normal. From what my mother has told me, she is very against pornography in all forms. I don't want to cross any lines, but I also don't want my. To let my mom be lied to. What do I do? How horrible.

[C]

This one is not like the other ones.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes Nolan throws in a

[C]

good pull. Nolan? I mean, okay, my first query is what's the old man into?

[A]

Right.

[C]

Is it normal stuff?

[A]

Doesn't thousands upon thousands doesn't sound like. It does not sound like normal stuff.

[C]

They didn't specify that it was specifically anything in there, but, you know, if that's.

[A]

That is thousands upon thousands, a lot of material. I would just tell the mom.

[C]

You know what I would do? I would. Yeah, I think it's probably good for the mom to know that.

[A]

I would tell the mom, but I

[C]

would tell the dad. Hey, you don't have to have any of this saved, right?

[A]

Well, that's porn also. What I was just thinking, like, you just.

[C]

You could just go look at it and then you just leave it on the Internet and go back to your life. But you don't have to have. Does he have boxes of it? What happened?

[A]

He has it saved on his computer.

[C]

Oh, okay. Yeah. See, I would just be like, listen, pops, you don't have to download this at all if you want to see it again. Tomorrow you could just go find it again.

[A]

Right. So you wouldn't tell the mom.

[C]

I mean, it's interesting. The mom is really against pornography.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So there's an underlying issue happening in this marriage. Yeah.

[A]

What a weird coincidence.

[C]

Right? Right. Do you think. I mean, it's possible that she just says that to the kid because she knows about the way that it's affected her husband.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And so she's fearful of the. The addiction being genetic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So maybe just stay out of it.

[C]

We're gonna hang.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

We have to party together. We gotta go out.

[A]

We have to party.

[C]

I don't know. Do you go out? I don't really go out. I'm a house party guy.

[A]

I go out.

[C]

I'll throw a party here at your place.

[A]

I should do that one of these days. Do you not? I know. I never have.

[C]

What?

[A]

I know. Never. I've never thrown a party here.

[C]

Oh, my God, it's the best.

[A]

I love to go out. It's my favorite thing to do in the entire universe. Ever, ever, ever. Oh, my God. I'd love to go out pre game to, like, a planned party situation to, like, something else or like, pre game to, like, everybody's going to the same club at the same time. Pre game to. Everyone's going to the same bar at the same time, like, it is my favorite thing on God's green earth.

[C]

I'm not a go out guy.

[A]

It's quite fun.

[C]

I believe it. I've been to a club once in my life.

[A]

What club was it?

[C]

It was. It was in Miami. I was 19. I had a bomber jacket on.

[A]

Was it a strip club?

[C]

No, it was like at the W Hotel or something in South Beach. Oh, I think it's called the Wall, something like that, if I remember correctly.

[A]

Did you go to. What's the one in the. You know, the. No, no, not 11, not space. It's the one. Oh, my fucking live. Did you go to live?

[C]

No, no, no, no. Know.

[A]

Oh, okay. You went to.

[C]

No, I literally just went. This is the only time I think I've ever been in a club.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And the music was so loud and I was so poor. And the Jack and Cokes were like 25.

[A]

Yeah, they're very expensive and all the

[C]

women had accents, so I couldn't really understand them that well. Plus, it was the loudest, deepest, tranciest house music I'd ever heard.

[A]

I can't.

[C]

So I was screaming at these women who spoke mostly Spanish. Trying to introduce myself. I was like, I just lost all My money on the two drinks that I bought and the three rounds of COVID I paid to get in. I had a pair of, like, nylon joggers on, and all the other guys in there were, like, bald and sweating from coke and wearing Rolexes. And I was like, I've never been more out of place. And then I just didn't go to a club again after that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you have to go to the right ones.

[C]

I'm a dive bar guy.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Give me a shitty bar, I'm there.

[A]

I. I just love, like, loud music, dancing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Just like.

[A]

Like complete chaos. Yeah. Like, the lights are off. I don't know what the is going on, but all I know is that it's 4:00am and then we're. We're stumbling out.

[C]

You're crazy, man.

[A]

Whatever, you guys.

[C]

Jake, you're so nuts.

[A]

Whatever, you guys. Whatever.

[C]

Oh, my God. It sounds like fun.

[A]

It is fun. Okay. It's the time of your life.

[C]

I would do it with you.

[A]

Give it a chance. It's the time of your life. All right, Belmont, what did we learn today?

[C]

We learned basically nothing.

[A]

I disagree. What was that one bit of good advice he gave that we were like, wow. Oh. We learned that if you can, a good way to quit smoking would be to use your lungs. And a good way to retain your memory would be to read.

[C]

Yes. Or play chess or do something that involves checkers. How about just like, mobile games?

[A]

No. That's the. That's what's killing you. Yeah.

[C]

We did learn some things.

[A]

We learned that I'm getting a thigh tat.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It might not be today, but it'll be sometime.

[C]

No, no, no, no. That size getting tatted.

[A]

It has to.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Well, Belmont, thanks for coming on.

[C]

Therapist, thanks for having me. This was fun.

[A]

Do you have fun?

[C]

Yeah, I really did.

[A]

I had a great time.

[C]

This was good. I could have done this for much longer. It's good hang.

[A]

I know. Thank you.

[C]

You're a good hang.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Bye. Pussies.