Session 136: Kaia Gerber Returns

Summary

Therapuss with Jake Shane: Session 136 — "Kaia Gerber Returns" (August 6, 2026)

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Overview

In this lively, candid, and deeply personal episode, Jake Shane welcomes back his best friend and actress Kaia Gerber to mark the premiere of her latest project: “The Shards,” Ryan Murphy’s new 1980s dark comedy/thriller series based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel. As always, Jake and Kaia’s banter is a mix of irreverent humor, genuine introspection, and wildly entertaining storytelling. They reminisce about the whirlwind year since Kaia’s last appearance, deep-dive into friendship, creative pursuits, mental health, guilty pleasures, and swap advice for listener dramas. If you love found-family energy, gay camp, and riffing on everything from theater to vacation mishaps to Instagram dumps, this episode delivers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kaia’s Return, Big News, and “The Shards”

• [00:41 – 06:16]
  • Jake gushes over Kaia’s starring role in “The Shards” (FX, out Aug 5th), describing it as “80s sexy murder Los Angeles—anything you could want in a Ryan Murphy show” (00:52).
  • Watching the premiere together was “so special,” Jake admitting, “I felt like I was watching such great television with the person who made it” (01:41–01:55).
  • Their crew bonded deeply over filming: “We were together for 16 hours every single day. Then on weekends we’d hang out… I looked around and was like, the fact that we no longer have to be in each other’s presence but are choosing to… That’s who they are to me. Like we fucking drove each other insane” (07:12–08:14).

2. Friendship Highlights: The Past Year’s Greatest Hits

• [03:35 – 11:31]
  • Recalling Halloween (“the cursed night”), kaia’s iconic Little Edie costume, and chaotic afterhours: “We got home I think at 5am, you made us watch Baddies… They’re getting in violent fights… The sun is rising and I’m still dressed as Little Edie.” (04:07–04:35)
  • “Watching ‘The Shards’ feels weird because you’re such an integral part of that experience for me, but you’re not on the show. Which will change, obviously. Ryan, Ryan—listen.” (05:46–05:58)
  • Post-filming, the cast stayed close: “I’ve never had friends until now that you can like, fight like family and still love each other.” (07:39–08:14)

3. Comedy, Creative Process, and Influences

• [09:02 – 12:27]
  • Deep appreciation for their creative circle: Eric (from “Maddie’s Secret”), Kate, John Early, and Megan Stalter, with shout-outs to favorite sketches and comedic influences:
    • “Meg Stalter is our Andy Kaufman, and you cannot argue me on that. It’s such intellectual humor… incredible comedians cannot keep up with her.” (12:00–12:19)
  • Kaia’s love for live theater—“I love it… the wonderful thing about theater is how fleeting it is. And so you believe people when they tell you you were great.” (23:03–23:44)

4. Shared Adventures: Mexico, Austin, and Parasocial Moments

• [14:27 – 22:29]
  • Mexico trip tales:
    • “You came on my family vacation… It was the best experience of my life. I’ve never felt better in my body. My spray tan was tan to the gods.” (14:38–14:44)
    • “We took the thirst trap of you that I feel like sort of sparked this era for you.” (14:50–14:59)
    • “All we did every day—we’d lay out, they would read, I would go on my phone, listen to music, go swimming, tan, and make my Instagram dumps.” (33:43–33:59)
  • Austin: Sorority girls and the intensity of parasocial celebrity interactions.
    • “The way those sorority girls in floral dresses…approach you as though they really know you. I was like, ‘That’s my friend.’” (20:01–20:28)

5. Social Media, Instagram Dumps, and Personal Aesthetics

• [18:48 – 19:34]
  • Jake’s master Instagram “dump” advice: “I know they take effort, but yours feel effortless… The best ones are always the ones that come most naturally to me.” (18:52–19:28)
  • Kaia describes her ‘Library Science’ book club as “making reading easy for people that don’t read,” inspired by Jake’s approach to social media (36:34–36:53).

6. Mental Health: OCD, Medication, and Therapy

• [26:54 – 29:34]
  • Jake shares about his lifelong struggle with OCD; discusses NOCD therapy and the importance of exposure treatment (26:54–29:34).
  • Open dialogue about mood disorders, medication (Jake starts Wellbutrin), and seeking validation as performers:
    • “Humans are constantly in our lives seeking validation… I just want people to understand me. And [my mom] said, ‘I don’t think you should be asking yourself whether they understand you. I think you should ask yourself whether they feel you.’” (45:48–46:24)

7. Rapid Fire: Advice, “Tell Me What’s Wrong” & Listener Dilemmas

• [65:07 – 70:16]
  • (“The best revenge is joy.” – Kaia, 66:05)
  • “If your friend is mad at you for [not affording the bachelorette], that’s a major red flag. Not your friend.” – Kaia (68:04)
  • “If you really love someone they could vomit all over you… and you would still love them.” (68:25–68:34)
  • On dealing with icks: “When you’re madly, truly, deeply in love, they can double strap a backpack, they can vomit at a concert, they can wait in line with an empty plate at the buffet. And you still love them.” (69:10–69:14)
  • “Journaling and go on meds” as advice for mood swings/OCD (70:00–70:51)

8. Pop Culture, Music, and TV Nostalgia

• [37:46 – 42:33]
  • TV’s changing prestige: “TV shows used to be here [low]. Now they’re up here!” (37:46–38:07)
  • “The Shards” makes both want to live in the 1980s: “It made me want to be in school… I just love the 70s!… Lewis goes, ‘It’s the 80s, bud.’” (39:02–39:47)
  • LA as character—discussion of authors Bret Easton Ellis, Eve Babitz, and the literary mythos of Los Angeles (40:07–41:50).
  • Music obsessions: “My favorite is Virtuoso Vertigo—he says, ‘You gotta learn to leave to remember why you stay. Letting go of what you hold holds you just the same.’” (62:28–63:13)

9. Personal Confessions, Humor, and Memorable Moments

• Kaia’s infected belly button piercing post-wrap: “You get a belly button ring because you’re like, I’m gonna be cool. There’s nothing less cool than having a meticulous cleaning routine for your belly button.” (53:12–53:27)
• Vacation mishaps: Jake’s vacation stomach bugs and infamous “pooped my pants” story on shrooms, told with loving comic detail (16:08–17:13).
• Jake’s shopping addiction and splurging on a Saint Laurent windbreaker—funny, self-deprecating, and confessed with zero regret (55:10–56:43).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Kaia on Acting and Validation
  “I seek so much validation. I think that’s why I’m an actor. Like, I always tell directors, I’m not an actor because I have enough validation.” (45:35)
• Jake on Live Theater
  “You do the show, and no one is gonna come up to you after and be like, ‘you sucked.’ So everyone comes up to you after and they’re like, ‘you were transcendent.’” (23:03)
• On Instagram “Dump” Artistry
  Jake: “You want to know my favorite dump of all time? Library Science, merch drop. Dead.” (19:03)
• On the Power of Indifference
  Kaia: “Sometimes it’s best to just act indifferent. Even if you’re not. Just don’t get back at him, because getting back at him, he’ll be like, ‘she cares.’” (66:32)
• On Fleeting Friendship & Found Family
  “You guys are so close… I was like, this can either be incredible and I’ll have best friends for life or I’m going to hate them and be miserable. Thank God for the former.” (06:05–06:27)
• Music Lyric Highlight
  Jake on Ryan Beatty: “‘You gotta learn to leave to remember why you stay. Letting go of what you hold holds you just the same.’” (62:39–63:13)
• Kaia’s Mom’s Wisdom
  “I don’t think you should be asking yourself whether they understand you. I think you should ask yourself whether they feel you.” (46:06–46:24)
• Jake, on pet peeves, icks, & relationships
  “When you’re madly, truly, deeply in love, they can double strap a backpack, they can vomit at a concert, they can wait in line with an empty plate at the buffet, and you still love them.” (69:10–69:14)
• On “the shards” energy:
  “It’s sexy, it’s scary, it’s gay, it’s funny, it’s self-aware.” (74:18–74:21)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:41] Jake’s intro, “The Shards” rave, Kaia’s special role
• [03:38] Wild Halloween & Baddies TV night memories
• [05:46] Production stories, found-family cast
• [12:00] Megan Stalter as comedy icon, comedic influences
• [14:36] Mexico vacation mishap stories & photo sessions
• [18:48] Instagram dump secrets, social media authenticity
• [23:03] The lure of live theater, validation, and risk
• [26:54] Open talk on OCD, mental health, and therapy
• [33:43] Vacation philosophy: true relaxation vs. itineraries
• [36:34] Library Science: making reading accessible and cool
• [39:02] TV nostalgia, era-muddling, and pop culture gaffes
• [45:48] Seeking validation vs. being “felt” (wisdom from Kaia’s mom)
• [55:10] Shopping splurges, fashion regrets, and Saint Laurent windbreaker saga
• [65:07–70:16] “Tell Me What’s Wrong”: Relationship and friendship advice, “revenge is joy,” the philosophy of icks & mood management
• [74:00] Why “The Shards” is not just another Ryan Murphy show—it's the world you want to live in

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Tone & Dynamics

Jake and Kaia’s chemistry is unmatched: affectionate, irreverent, unfiltered, and joyful. They toggle from deeply introspective to laugh-out-loud absurd, making mental health disclosures feel accessible and dropping cultural references fast and loose. Fans will feel like they’re eavesdropping on two best friends hyped for each other’s dreams and deeply invested in each other’s quirks.

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Summary

Episode 136 is quintessential “Therapuss”: the exuberant, confessional, “therapy-adjacent” talk show energy between Jake and Kaia radiates friendship goals, earnest support, and hilarious self-deprecation. With musings on art, identity, and feeling seen (versus being understood), and a closing wisdom on how “the best revenge is joy” and perhaps the best friendships are the ones you manifest into being. Also: watch “The Shards,” DM for Instagram dump curation, and let Jake and Kaia be your parasocial besties for an hour.

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Final Words:
“I love you so much. I think you’re the funniest person that has ever walked the earth.” – Kaia (77:50)
“I think you are the most talented, most beautiful, and the best thing to ever happen to me.” – Jake (77:54)
“Bye!” (78:07)

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for from a browse to a bike ride. The this summer. Find more on Facebook.

[B]

Hi, pussies. Welcome back to Therapist. Tonight we have on my dear, dear, dear friend, my best friend, Kaia Gerber, who is an absolute vision in Ryan Murphy's the Shards, which is out August 5th. So today it is based on the Brett Easton Ellis no of the same name. So I'm so grateful that there's a show for it now. That is so amazing. I got to see the first two episodes and I got to watch them with her, and it was really. I don't think she knew how special that was for me. I felt like I was watching such great television with the person who made it, and it was a really, really special moment for me. And I just think she is so incredible. She is such a loyal, funny, kind, talented friend. And. And I had so much fun filming this episode with her. We got to talk about all of our stories that we've had, and I'm just so proud of her. And you guys are going to be so gagged by her in the shards. It is so, so, so incredible. It is like 80s sexy murder Los Angeles. Anything you could want in a television show. Anything you can want in a Ryan Murphy show, it is there. It is amazing. Please go watch it. I also got the pleasure of hanging out with the entire cast. Haze, Graham, Igb, Homer, there. I love you all. Please go stream the Shards. The first two episodes are out now. Once again, they are incredible. Kya, I am so proud of you. I love you. Thank you for coming on therapists to promote it. I love you. Enjoy the episode.

[A]

I'm nervous.

[B]

What? I don't know why. This was, like, the one I was least nervous about.

[A]

No, I'm actually not okay. It's fine.

[B]

Well, let's cheers. Cheers to. Okay, I have a few things to cheers to. Cheers to the shards coming out August 5th on FX, which Kaya stars in. And I got to see the first two episodes last night. It was amazing. I got to watch them with Kya and it was amazing. You were amazing. You were amazing.

[A]

I just have to say the fact that you weren't on your Phone was.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I've never tried.

[B]

I got a little emotional.

[A]

You did win.

[B]

Well, there was a point. There was some gay stuff and I just. Gay. But it. I was just like, oh my God, I can't believe I get to watch this with you right now.

[A]

I loved watching it with you. Married in 500 Lolas.

[B]

500. 500. But normally I would be so anxious to watch someone, but you're so talented and incredible that it was.

[A]

Well, I feel sick.

[B]

Well.

[A]

But I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Thanks for having me back.

[B]

Oh my God. You're always welcome back. Cheers. Eyes. See, the thing about Kaya is she watches the show. So I didn't even need to say eyes, but I did anyway.

[A]

I need. I need this.

[B]

We have a few. Well, we have multiple. Multiple things to cover. The last time you were on here was. Was what?

[A]

What was a year ago? It was right after Portland.

[B]

Okay, so we hadn't gone to Austin.

[A]

No, we hadn't gone to Austin. We hadn't gone to Mexico. We hadn't done New York together.

[B]

We hadn't done New York. We hadn't got out for Halloween. Stop.

[A]

I forgot about Halloween. The cursed night that was. That was actually a curse.

[B]

But it was one of the best nights of my life.

[A]

It was so much fun. But it was. That was fully a curse night.

[B]

And then I woke up at yours, of course. Got a last minute invite to a gala.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Back up at the gala.

[A]

We were. We got home I think at 5am sex. Totally. We got him at 6am, huh? You fell asleep. You made us. No, you made us watch baddies. Baddies. So I'm not really in a state to be retaining information at that point. And you're explaining baddies to me. Who everyone is. There's one with the pacifier. They're getting. There is Chrisan.

[B]

I was showing her baddies south, which is the best season of bodies.

[A]

They're getting in violent, violent fights. Which at. When the sun is rising and I'm still dressed as little Edie and you're dressed as a role model. It's just. It was really just a lot of information to take in.

[B]

Speaking of little Edie, I actually finally understand your Halloween costume. Kai kept telling me about her Halloween costume. Obviously I'm not listening. And then of course. And then suddenly I see a TikTok about the gray ladies.

[A]

Gray Gardens.

[B]

Gray Gardens.

[A]

Yep. You should. Honestly, it is your like I think you would appreciate it.

[B]

And what's it about exactly? It's about two women that live In a.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Old.

[A]

It's a mother daughter that live in this sort of like it's a beautiful home but it's sort of falling apart and it's in a like various states of deterioration.

[B]

It's very much falling apart.

[A]

Yeah. And they're. They're so funny and their relationship is incredible. And. And then a lot of people who didn't know the documentary then Bill Hader and Fred Armisen did a bit where they were playing the mother and daughter.

[B]

Oh that's amazing.

[A]

Yeah. So it's. It's. But it's incredible. So that's what I. Yeah, that's what I went as for Halloween. And you were a role model and

[B]

we went with some of your cast members from the Shards.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Who we spent so much time with while you guys were shooting.

[A]

It's weird watching the Shards because you feel like such an integral part of that experience for me. But you're not on the show. Which will change obviously.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Ryan Ryan and Ryan Ryan. Listen.

[B]

But ever. I spent so much time with you guys. You guys were. You guys are so close.

[A]

I know. Isn't that crazy? Cuz when you embark on a six month job with. I've never had a job that long with a group of people my age.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I was like this can either be incredible and I'll have best friends for life or I'm going to hate them and be miserable.

[B]

And thank God for the former.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Wow. That was library science.

[A]

I thought you pointed to the wild library science. It honestly it was the I tell people like we wrapped. We were together for 16 hours every single day. Then on weekends we'd hang out because a lot of them were from New York and didn't like this was.

[B]

You really helped lead the charge on. Like okay. We're like. I remember that time when I watch this show now all I can think about is going to your house pre gaming with everybody going out. You guys would all talk about set that day.

[A]

I'd be like no, honestly it was annoying. But I think that's part of the reason we started to bond so much is I was like my whole life is filming this show so I don't really have anything to say outside of what I've been experiencing on set. And I'm very aware that that's so boring and I found it interesting. You were. You did. But like for someone who's not an actor it's a very boring thing to hear about. So we kind of just all gravitated towards each other. Cuz I was like you're the only people that will put up with me like talking about, about the show.

[B]

Cuz it's like you're like in summer camp and it's like camp and then everyone's like, well I ain't go to camp with you, so I don't give a about these camp stories.

[A]

Exactly. And I was like, well, I don't have a life outside of this, so I don't have anything interesting to say other than about my experience doing this. But we wrapped filming and the next night everyone, like the people who lived in New York hadn't gone home yet and we all got dinner with each other. And we were sitting at dinner and I looked around and I was like, the fact that we no longer have to be in each other's presence but are choosing to and we all have so much love for each other and we fight. I've never had friends until now that you can like fight like family with and still love each other and that like that, that's who they are to me. Like we fucking drove each other insane.

[B]

Well, you guys were on set for insane.

[A]

You see each other at their absolute best, crushing it. And at their absolute worst and grumpy and tired and night shoots and all of the things. And we all really still love each other.

[B]

And you know what? You can read that chemistry off the screen.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes. And I, it was fun for me to see. Oh my God. That was. Well, there was a night shoot that I was supposed to come visit on that I didn't visit on.

[A]

Yeah. Why, what happened?

[B]

I, I, I don't leave my house unless Kaya makes me.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

And the one time I did leave my house, I got a role in a movie because she made me leave. So I should leave more.

[A]

I'm so excited for that, for wishful thinking to come out.

[B]

I know, me too.

[A]

It's, it's my favorite performance that everyone in that movie has ever given.

[B]

Oh, it's so good.

[A]

And we have to talk about Eric, who I think is one of the funniest people.

[B]

Well, he's in Maddie's Secret, which I'm desperate, I'm desperate to see it. We have to watch it.

[A]

I think no one makes me laugh harder than Eric. You and Eric are up there. Eric, honestly, eight and Kate, brilliant.

[B]

Oh, she's so good. And John, Early.

[A]

Have you seen the, the sketch that they do where they're like in a gift shop or something and, and they're both like, have that. Oh yeah, that's cool. Have that. Yeah, I have.

[B]

No. Where's that from?

[A]

Oh, yeah, I have five of those. It's the funniest. I don't. Lou.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Isn't it great to have an expert here?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's so funny. I think you would love it.

[B]

I know John early from Search Party.

[A]

And you know what fun fact? One of our writers on our show, Charles Rogers, created Search Party.

[B]

Oh my God, yes. I forgot about that.

[A]

Such a fan of Search Party. Also, isn't that where Cola Scola really like got their start?

[B]

Yes, because they kidnapped. Sorry, spoiler alert. The main character.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because there's like a super stalker fan and it is one of the funniest.

[A]

It's one of. I'm such a fan of that show and I'm such a fan of Kohl's. And then when I heard that Charles was writing on the Shards, I was like, oh my God, this is so exciting. And it was really fun knowing Charles's sensibility and like his sense of humor. Then to read the scripts, I would be like, I know that's a Charles line. And it helped me sort of understand our show a little bit more.

[B]

Well, the Shards is funny. At. What the Shards gets, right, is it's scary and funny.

[A]

Scary and funny. And I think. And sexy and gay.

[B]

And sexy and gay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that's what's coming back.

[A]

Scary, funny, sexy, gay.

[B]

Yeah. Like Widow's Bay. Well, what if they doesn't have the gay stuff? But.

[A]

But Widow's Bay feels gay to me.

[B]

It is gay.

[A]

It's gay. Right. But I don't know why.

[B]

It's because it's scary and funny, which is inherently gay. Which is inherently gay.

[A]

We, Meg, will be doing. Oh, Mary, Speaking of Cola Scola.

[B]

Oh my God. You and you and you have to wear the hat. That is my favorite hat of yours of all time.

[A]

Mary. A new play by Cola School.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's incredible.

[B]

It's pretty amazing. Kai gets compliment compliments on it everywhere we go.

[A]

It does make me feel very cool. Literally went on the Merch website and bought it. It wasn't like an opening night hat. Like, I just. I went to that show. Did you see Cole do that play?

[B]

No, I. No, it's okay. It's okay now.

[A]

They'll come back, I'm sure.

[B]

Will they?

[A]

I don't know. They did it for I think a year. Cuz it was off Broadway. I saw it multiple times off. Then I went to opening night on Broadway and then I went like four more times and Cole, I think it was my seventh time going. And Cole was like, you need to stop coming here.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, I was the psycho stalker that

[B]

Cole plays in Search Queen.

[A]

Cole was like, get out of here. I said, I can't get enough.

[B]

I just. What I'm so excited to see Meg do in it is, like, from what I've heard, because I haven't seen it, is that every different Mary is able to bring their, like, own improv to it. So, like, Maya Rudolph was like. Maya Rudolph as Mary. Was Gola as Mary.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And Meg's daughter is going to be Meg Stalter as Mary, which is my favorite.

[A]

I. I know I've said this to you. Meg Stalter is our Andy Kaufman, and you cannot argue me on that. It's such intellectual humor, in my opinion. Like, you watch Meg on talk shows with incredible comedians, and they cannot keep up with her. Keep up with her or decipher her. It's really amazing to see. Like, I just think that Meg's brain

[B]

is unbelievable, and we got to be a part of that brain. When we dressed up as Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, we.

[A]

You know what? We do so much together, by the way, that didn't. I felt like that sort of came and went, but it felt really important, maybe just personally, because it was our first time making out.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No, it wasn't.

[B]

Actually. I was about to say that was not our first time making out in

[A]

front of a crowd.

[B]

In front of a crowd.

[A]

That was. That felt dystopian.

[B]

It was the best night of my life.

[A]

Can we. Can you paint the pic? Can you set the scene?

[B]

Okay. So Meg texted us and was like, can you guys come? Okay, this. This goes back. This go back. Meg was like, can you guys come to my Largo show, dress up as Faith hill and Tim McGraw and sing your love? And we were like, yes. And then I got sick, and Kaia was like, well, this doesn't work. If you need to be Tim McGraw, I need to be Faith. I was like, we. We need to find another time to do this.

[A]

Well, I had also spent the whole day embarrassingly going like, it's your love.

[B]

Yeah. She knew everything.

[A]

I was, like, trying to, like, learn the harmony. It's like, I was really ready to go work.

[B]

You knew every lyric. I didn't know a single lyric.

[A]

Of course you didn't. It's also called it's your love, not your love.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it just goes to show.

[B]

Goes to show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then Meg was. Is now releasing her new album, and she was doing a tj set where throughout the DJ set, she, she combs her hair and makes the audience look for her phone.

[A]

Yeah, it's the, it's actually the funniest thing.

[B]

I was in tears. Travis was there.

[A]

They'll get really excited. And then Michael.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's so funny.

[B]

She's. I cannot wait to see her.

[A]

I know, Mary, it's gonna be incredible. Oh, but. And then we made out on stage.

[B]

And then we made out on stage and everyone was like.

[A]

I was like, you know what? We started the makeout really early on in the song because we didn't know what to do. We were like slow dancing. And I was like, let's just make out because I don't know what to do now. And then we made out. I think it was like a three. It was the longest makeout I've had in a while.

[B]

Right. Lewis is here. Yes.

[A]

By the way, sorry. I, I, I did ask. I said, is it okay?

[B]

Louis, if there was anyone that it would, it would be me. He choked on the snacks.

[A]

He choked on the healthy popcorn.

[B]

He loves my snacks that I have here. We went to Mexico together.

[A]

Yes. You came on my family vacation, which

[B]

was the best experience of my life. I've never felt better in my body. My spray tan was tan to the gods.

[A]

I showed that's where we took the thirst trap of you that I feel like sort of sparked this era for you.

[B]

So basically what had happened was did who took that?

[A]

Did Hayes?

[B]

You did.

[A]

I wasn't fishing. I actually took it.

[B]

You did.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I, I got there, we had a lovely dinner. And then I think from the travel, I was dehydrated and I remember I.

[A]

Didn't everyone have stomach issues the first night?

[B]

No, but mine was like, oh, you

[A]

threw up in the trash.

[B]

I threw up in the trash can. And Kya thought I had left the trash can in. So there was plastic over the trash can. But I kept telling Kya like the trash can still outside. And she thought I threw up in the trash can without the plastic.

[A]

And she, here's the thing. Okay. We were staying at my parents house they have, which I don't fully understand this, but my dad's super into like interior design and making everything look beautiful. So a lot of their trash cans are like leather trash bins.

[B]

I threw up in the leather trash bin.

[A]

So when you and I didn't know they had put a trash bag in it. So the next morning Jake's like, I threw up in the trash can. And I'm like on the leather. And he's like, yeah. And I was like, okay. And he's like, it's just sitting outside my room like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do about. I've been with you for a lot

[B]

of stomach, a lot of stomach issues.

[A]

Because the last time we were together in New York,

[B]

Kaya met me for a drink and I had taken a shroom and I shit my pants. No. You guys, you guys don't even understand. I said, no.

[A]

The best part about it was that Jake, Jake did poop his pants. Yeah. But like I didn't know. So. So I'm sort of. I'm there, I just get there. We're all having a good time. He disappears in the bathroom for a while.

[B]

I'm like, Peyton came with me and held my hand.

[A]

And all of the sudden Jake looks at me and is like, I have. I have to go. I have to go. And I was like, wait, where are you going? I thought we were like having a night. He's like, I gotta go. You are running across. It was like west Houston.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Running across lanes of traffic, getting into an Uber. Peyton screaming, jake, no. Jake. And I'm like, what's going on? You didn't look back once you slammed the door, you left. I get home a few Hours later, you FaceTime me from bed. You've just woken up again.

[B]

Oh my God. I slept.

[A]

You fell asleep. You Woke up at 4am and you

[B]

were like, I. I poop in my pants.

[A]

My pants. And I was like, jake, I would have helped you.

[B]

There was no coming back.

[A]

Sometimes if you poop your pants, that will ruin a night. It should ruin your night out. If it doesn't, then you have other issues.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Pooping pants.

[B]

Oh, we got there from the throw up and that. Wow. God, my body just is not it these days.

[A]

You got there from. Yeah, yeah. You vomited.

[B]

So I vomited. First night in Kabul. But essentially I woke up and I was like, you know, I just spent the whole night throwing up. Like my spray tans on. I look awesome. I look awesome.

[A]

Let's cut you the shades. I look amazing.

[B]

I look amazing. So I was like, Kaya and I just went and we took a photo and people were just like, I didn't know you have the ability to look semi good.

[A]

That's not true. You looked amazing. You look amazing. I was also really astounded on that trip. There were a few things. Can I talk about what sounded me talk about.

[B]

Mention it all.

[A]

Okay, here's what I was really Astounded by. You wanted to go in the ocean all the time.

[B]

All the time.

[A]

But that's surprising.

[B]

The ocean was warm and invited.

[A]

It was, but I just was sort of like. You didn't strike. I thought you'd be on your phone, maybe like, in the shade, a little in the sun, but you wanted to be on the beach and in the ocean 24 7. And I loved that.

[B]

And I was having photo shoots. Well, I was having photoshoots constantly on my phone.

[A]

You and Hayes were going down to the beach to do photo shoots.

[B]

I was doing my. That. Can I say, I actually think that's when my Instagram dump started. No, Kaya, it was.

[A]

By the way, who do I ask for advice about an Instagram dump?

[B]

Me.

[A]

You.

[B]

And it started during that trip.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Like, kind of like putting them together. And I was having a lot of fun with it.

[A]

You're. You're so good at it. Because I know that they take effort, but yours feel effortless.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

But I feel like you're also intentional about taking photos that fit inside of the dump.

[B]

You want to know my favorite dump of all time? What is the library science? Was. Is that library science merch? Drop Dead.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's for you. Drop Dead.

[B]

And that's my favorite Instagram dump of all time. And I did it to Empire the Sun's concert pitch.

[A]

How do you choose the song?

[B]

I keep it authentic to who I am. What am I listening to right now?

[A]

You're not trying to be, like, cool.

[B]

And I find myself trying to be cool.

[A]

And it's.

[B]

Sometimes it works, but the best ones are always the ones that come most naturally to me.

[A]

Can I say, also, not to bring it back to the shards, but you were adding all of the songs in the first two episodes last night. Because how good is the music?

[B]

The music is amazing. So it's amazing. It's one of my favorite parts of the show.

[A]

It's. It's incredible. They got. They got every song you could ever want from 1981. It's unbelievable. I was listening to that music the whole time we were filming, and I haven't gotten sick of it. It's so fun. I have more things I want to talk to you about.

[B]

What? We went to Austin.

[A]

We went to Austin. We went to a football game. Oh, the other thing that. It didn't surprise me because we'd already been to Austin, but when we went to that party in Mexico, the way that sorority girls in floral dresses.

[B]

Those are my people.

[A]

Describe them. Are your people. And Also approach you as though they really know you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I kind of. I felt a little like. I was like, that's. No, my friend.

[B]

Yeah, I remember you were like, okay,

[A]

Jake, because you're so nice. But it's just the parasocial relationship is really interesting because, like, even in Austin, like, Glenn went to that school and is an alum, and we were at his fraternity, and we ultimately got trampled so that people could get to you.

[B]

Right. And I cut. Remember, I cut my lip on the. On the beer can. You guys. I was shocked. Oh, my God, Louise. You were there?

[A]

Yeah, Louise was there.

[B]

I thought Louise was there.

[A]

No, we. It was my first time shotgunning. Was it your first time? No.

[B]

You went to college. But I.

[A]

Well, it was my first time in a fraternity.

[B]

I know. Very dirty.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was like. It was. It was a vibe.

[A]

I didn't. I didn't see all the grime. And, I mean, there were so many people there. I was sort of just like, wow, this is what college would have been like.

[B]

And then I. I cut my. I thought I was, like, really feeling myself, and I, like, did a shotgun. I was walking through. People were like, oh, my God, Jake. And someone goes, your lips bleeding. My lip was dripping blood.

[A]

Mind you, Jake surrounded by, like, 200 sorority girls at this point, and. And I look over at him, and he looks like he was just punched in the face. Like, his blood down his whole.

[B]

Like, whole face, and they were like, hey, your lips bleeding. And it was giving that same energy of. When. Do you remember when I was doing the Sharpie thing, and the Sharpie fell all over my face.

[A]

Wait, was after. You were on Broadway.

[B]

I was on Broadway.

[A]

Do you talk about that a lot? Because I would.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Here's a question for you.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Here's a question. Do you. Have you seen videos of yourself doing the show at all?

[B]

No. Because you are not allowed to record the show during.

[A]

But sometimes they do a recording, and then they'll like.

[B]

I've never seen it.

[A]

I think this is why I love doing theater.

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

Here's why.

[B]

You actually, by the way, do a lot of it.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

You do a lot of it. You were in a play.

[A]

I just did a random reading, and you came. That was so sweet.

[B]

And then we had the most lovely day.

[A]

I know. It was the best.

[B]

And we got a. We got diner food after, and we just had the most magical day.

[A]

But you are, like, the most supportive friend in the world. You're so supportive. Genuine, genuine happiness for other People's success, which is. It's not performative. Like, I. It's so rare. And I'm. I'm sorry to be earnest, but, like, anything. Something exciting happens for me. I sort of have an instinct to be like, push it down. Don't make it about you. Like, it'll go away.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

And then you'll, like, post it, because

[B]

I'm so proud of you. The other day, I was walking down the street, I was on the phone with Will, and Will goes, oh, that's Kaya.

[A]

I. Look, I know, but it's really sweet, and it's crazy, and it doesn't. You don't get used to it. And so, like, having someone else validate success for you is really lovely. And I also try to do that

[B]

for you because you do do that for me.

[A]

No, but you. But anyways, back to the reason we do theater. Here's why we do theater. Because you do the show, and no one in their right mind is gonna come up to you after and be like, you sucked. So everyone comes up to you after and they're like, you were transcendent.

[B]

Yeah, that's my favorite part.

[A]

And so you are on a high, right? Because you're like, that was. I did something transcendent. And.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you believe that.

[B]

Everyone's cheering.

[A]

You believe them. They're cheering for you. But they have. They have to. But it doesn't matter because they're doing it. And then you can't prove them otherwise because you can't watch it back. So they tell you you're amazing, and you believe them.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But when you do a show or you do a movie, people be like, that was great. Or the director's like, great, let's move on. And then you watch it and you go, in fact, that was not great.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So the wonderful thing about theater is how fleeting it is. And so you believe people when they tell you you were great.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's when my dad told me to never do it again.

[A]

Why?

[B]

He was like, because you're gonna get a bad review and it's gonna read reviews. There were none.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because it was a rotating cast. So I think the reviews came out with the first cast.

[A]

That's. Oh, that's amazing.

[B]

And so we were the last cast, and there was no reviews or anything.

[A]

That's wonderful.

[B]

It was amazing.

[A]

I didn't. I didn't read reviews because I was like, I have to do this every single night. I was not on Broadway. I'd like to. Not that anyone thought that I was. I just, like. I'd like to make it abundantly clear.

[B]

A very intense play.

[A]

And what did you do when you came to my very intense play?

[B]

I brought baby dolls. Peyton and I brought baby dolls because we were hungover and we brought baby dolls. And Kai said, what the is going on?

[A]

No, it was amazing. That. That theater, the Rogue Machine theater in here in la is so wonderful, and every play they do is so great. Oh, but I went yesterday for another reading of Will, our Bree. A different play. Will Arbries, who wrote the play that I did.

[B]

Is he the one that also wrote the play that you just did that I saw with Lewis and your parents?

[A]

No. Okay, different.

[B]

That person was in Scandal.

[A]

I know I was. Wait, Bruce, Right? Yes.

[B]

I was literally, I was sitting during the play, and we're watching. We're watching this reading, and I'm like, to Lewis, I'm like, I think he's in Scandal. And Lewis is like, really? And I'm like, yeah. And I think that's Tom from Scandal watching the play.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You had all your people, all your fans.

[B]

And I went up to them after, and I was like, were you in Scandal? And they were like, yes, Jake. Well, they didn't say my name because they had no idea who I was,

[A]

but I said, yes, Drake. Yeah, they said, yes, Bruce is amazing. I. I was so excited to do that play because he was in it, and the play was great. But no, this was a different. Different playwright. His name's Will Arbery. And they did this thing. I was sitting next to Will yesterday, where they played a, like, short documentary they made about him and his writing in the theater. And I'm. Ape starts playing, and it's him, and he's like, oh, no. And I'm like, laughing. I'm like, ha, ha ha ha. Cut to a segment about the show that we did. Then they start playing clips from the play, which I've never seen. I've never had to see any of that play. So I didn't know what it looked like. I didn't know what they were doing when I wasn't on stage. And I definitely didn't want to know or hear what I sounded like when I was sitting singing every night. And they.

[B]

Beautiful voice. What song were you singing again?

[A]

Angel from Montgomery. Bonnie Wright version. It's a. It's one of my favorite songs, by the way. If you have to sing a song every night, that's a great song because you don't get sick of it. It's a beautiful song. But I'm not Bonnie Ray, and I'm not a singer. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna skip through it every night. And I would do this thing before I had to go out was my last scene, and I. I had been screaming the whole play.

[B]

She screams the whole time.

[A]

I scream the whole time. I do a lot of scream work, actually. I'm pretty good at.

[B]

You're really good at it.

[A]

You're screaming.

[B]

Do you scream in the shards?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I'm so excited. If you guys know me, you know, I struggle deeply, deeply, deeply with OCD, and I have since I was 7 years old. OCD can look like a lot of things. It can look like being cleanly, but it can also look like being incredibly messy. It has a lot of intrusive thoughts. You can. It's a lot of ritualistic behavior. I have magical thinking OCD and compulsion, OC and confession ocd. And one of the things that's really helped me is exposure therapy. Luckily, we have resources to help with ocd. NOCD is the world's leading treatment provider for ocd. All their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy, which is exposure response prevention therapy, which has proven to be the most effective treatment for ocd. It's very helpful to expose yourself to being uncomfortable and, like, sitting in those thoughts. It's like, really one of the only ways I found to help get through it. Therapy by NOCD is 100 virtual and covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. It also includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone, which can be very scary and very isolating. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with NOCD, you can go to nocd.com jake and book a free call with their team today. That's NOCD.com Jake. Thank you again, NOCD, for working with me. It means a lot to me, and I'm sure if I can help at least one person, then I've done my job. It is summer, which means it is time to go outside and see live music, live comedy, theater, whatever live event you can find. Please go see it. Seeing live events is like one of the last pillars of community we have left. Seatgeek is the best place to get tickets for any live event because it rates tickets on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being not the best, 10 being the best. You can also use my code therapist for 10% off. And if you download the app from the link in the description, it automatically applies the code therapist for 10% off. It's baseball season now and you can go see baseball. You can go see. Some of your favorite comedians are on tour. I just saw John Mulaney just announced a few tour dates. Nikki Glaser is on a big tour. Ariana Grande is on tour. Gracie Abrams is going on tour. Ryan Beatty is going on tour. There is so many music festivals. There's such little time left in summer and so many things to see. I just saw Max Dalton, O Mary. You can get tickets for that on SeatGeek. It was one of the best experiences of my entire life. She was so fantastic. And I love live theater. It's one of my favorite things in the entire world. You can use my code therapist for 10% off. And thank you, SeatGeek, for sponsoring tonight's episode. I'm so excited. She has a wonderful scream.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[B]

A wonderful scream.

[A]

I think everyone gets a good screen agreement on the shards. It's important when you do Ryan Murphy show. Like, all you can hope for is that you end up screaming.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I would do this thing before I had to go out to sing where I would, like, Sorry, hawk a loogie like a boxer.

[B]

Like, I did that right before you came on the show.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I felt it in my throat.

[A]

I was like, sometimes you just have to like. And spit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would do it every single night. It became also a superstition where I was like, if I don't hawk my loogie, it's not. The song's not going to come out.

[B]

I get it. Are you superstitious?

[A]

Yeah. Well, I think it's OCD more than superstition.

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

I have to say, I'm very happy about how much you talk about ocd.

[B]

I thank you.

[A]

Because there's a lot of misconceptions about it, I think.

[B]

Yeah. And as a reminder, Kai listens to every episode. She'll text me every day. I'm listening to this episode.

[A]

Here's my complaint.

[B]

Yes, she'll give me notes.

[A]

Well, no, you do one a week. It's not enough.

[B]

And then. Oh, Kai, I can't because I.

[A]

No, it's more than enough for you. But I get annoyed because I want more. And I've listened to all of them, like, four times. And I just need. I need. Even if you just want to record yourself talking. By the way, my TikTok algorithm is just like Jake Shane, Best moments.

[B]

Lewis, are you having fun? Oh, also, I would like to say.

[A]

What?

[B]

Lewis and I travel together at this point all the time. I know we went to Austin together, and then we went to Paris together, and then we didn't see each other.

[A]

You went to Austin together? Oh, for South By.

[B]

Yes, for South By.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We flew. Did we fly there together, Louis? We flew back together. And he. I was following him around with the camera, and here's. He was drinking milk.

[A]

Here's a He. This is what I say about Louis. He's like, milk fed.

[B]

He loves milk.

[A]

Milk fed.

[B]

Boy. He was like. I was like. He was. He. He's either always eating cereal or drinking a thing of milk. Actually, every time when we were in the. When we were going to Paris, he got yogurt.

[A]

He loves his dairy, that boy.

[B]

You do, Louis?

[A]

He does. He asked me this, and also, I am curious. Oh, because after Cabo, you abandoned me and my entire family when we had to do an emergency.

[B]

Well, like, here's the thing.

[A]

Let me.

[B]

Let me set the fucking scenes. We had to. So we were on a flight and the LAX was closed. All of LAX was closed.

[A]

There was smog.

[B]

There was smog. So no plan could. No plane could land in lax, so we had to land in San Diego. Your parents were the first one to be like, peace.

[A]

Oh, if you think my mom and I didn't get into a mass.

[B]

I watched it happen. You were huge. You were like this. Oh, you're leaving.

[A]

I said, what about me? She was like, you're a grown up. I said, okay, Mrs. I called her Mrs. Caps for sale. Because she had like six. She had brought, like six vacation hats, and they were all piled on her head. Do you remember that book, Caps for Sale?

[B]

No, you don't.

[A]

It was a children's book. That was this guy that would wear like 400 caps on his head and the Caps for Sale. Caps for Sale. So I was like, okay, Caps for Sale.

[B]

Yeah. They were in a big fight, Huge fight. And so her parents were the first to get in the Uber from San Diego. San Diego to la.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was the second. And then Kai was like, wait, so you're leaving? You're leaving my family trip without me? And I said, well, is your Uber on the way?

[A]

She said, no, no, you didn't say anything. Similarly to when you pooped your pants. You got in the car without explanation, which is totally fine. And like, you live your life, but you got in the car and you just. And you just drove right away. And I was like, what happened to Mexico? Like, a nice time in Mexico.

[B]

We had. You know, I think about Mexico daily. I can't describe to you. I've never been on a vacation vacation before where I was like, we were, but I felt so seen by you. I got there and Kaya's mom was like, so Kaya said you would probably want this room because you like a lot of alone time. You like to go back and forth between outside and inside.

[A]

And I said, you want a room where you can control the thermostat. Like have your own air conditioning because you like it very cold.

[B]

And the room was very cold. And I got. And all we did every day we would wake up and I'd. We walk outside and we'd lay out. They would read and I would go on my phone, listen to music and I would go swimming and I would tan and I would make my Instagram dumps.

[A]

You would. Here's. I really, as I've gotten older, appreciate the way that my parents do vacation, which is like really real vacation. There are no wake up at 8am Nothing. There's nothing swimming with the dolphin. Like, they are like, this is what we're going to do. You can come or not. It's like actually meant to relax. There's no sightseeing. It's amazing.

[B]

God, it was the best vacation of. It was one of the best vacations of my entire life.

[A]

It was really so fun.

[B]

When can we go back?

[A]

Summer is too hot. But we can go back any other time that you want.

[B]

Let's go back in October for my birthday.

[A]

Are your teeth ever itchy?

[B]

What? What do you mean itchy?

[A]

Like my, my teeth are itchy.

[B]

Where? In your gum or in your tooth?

[A]

All of it.

[B]

Whole thing that's tingling. It's your nerves.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

It's like. Do you have sinus pressure right now?

[A]

No, I don't think so.

[B]

What do you mean it's tingling? Is it up?

[A]

It's not tingling. It's itchy. They're it. They've been itchy for about a week. Like, like I want to like, itch them. What does that mean?

[B]

This thought in my head right now, like, I am actually about to like go down. Real psychosis.

[A]

Well, imagine how I felt all week when my teeth have been itching me. Because you can't, you can't go like this.

[B]

So you're sort of like, sorry, sorry, I feel sick. We have to move on. What are you therapist about today? Because by the way, I tried to get away with not asking that question last time and she said, I watched the show. Oh my God, my teeth are itchy.

[A]

When you think about it, they're itchy. The teeth are itchy. I know.

[B]

I'm, like, so uncomfortable. When did this start?

[A]

And I started and I don't know, I think about a week ago. And I've started now grinding them because I'm like, they're so. My teeth are so.

[B]

What do you think it's from?

[A]

I have no idea.

[B]

Have you asked who? A dentist.

[A]

Why my teeth are itchy.

[B]

They'll probably be, like, her away.

[A]

Go to a psychiatrist. Like, that's not. I don't think it's an actual physical.

[B]

It's like a brain thing.

[A]

They're itchy.

[B]

It's the gum.

[A]

And I'm brushing and I'm flossing and I'm doing.

[B]

Oh, so maybe it's. Maybe you're flossing too hard. Well, no.

[A]

I flossed once last night.

[B]

I never.

[A]

Because they were itchy. Neither do I. It's so hard.

[B]

I know. Do you guys floss?

[A]

You do. You look like you floss.

[B]

Louise Wood floss. Oh, yeah. Louise can read everywhere. She's just like you.

[A]

It takes a certain kind of patience. And, like, I think I like it because it does drown out everything else when you're into the book.

[B]

Speaking of, let's talk.

[A]

Oh, yes. About this.

[B]

Yes. Library Science, issue one.

[A]

Yeah. Our first publication.

[B]

And I was like, kyle, like, well. So I know library science is a book club, and I don't read, so I've never really been able to partake. But Kya told me that this makes reading easy for people that really don't read.

[A]

Well, in large part, you inspired it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because I. I love reading, but I also understand that it's not super accessible to everyone. And, like, you went to call. I didn't go to college. You went to college. So you were assigned reading. You associate reading with school? School.

[B]

It makes it so much worse that I don't read. And I went to college.

[A]

No, no, that's what I'm saying. People who went to college, I think, sometimes have a. It's like people who grew up super religious, and then they have to be like, I can't do that religion anymore. Okay, so you. That's how I feel about it. I didn't go to college, so I was like, I'm gonna read everything on earth so that I don't feel dumb. And so I just started reading really kind of performatively so I could talk to people and seem smart. And then I actually kind of. Loki started liking it, but not. But then eventually, like, I think you sort of. Sometimes you start things with, like, not the purest of intentions. And then you kind of start liking it a little.

[B]

Yes. That's how I always feel about. Like, that's how I feel about. That's how I feel about movies. That's how I feel about movies. I'm a TV show guy. I've seen every TV show under the sun, which is.

[A]

TV shows are, at this point, like, they used to be. Like, movies are up here. TV was down here.

[B]

Yeah. It's not crazy, by the way. Back in the day, you would. You would never do tv. Never. You would never do tv. And you know who I actually think changed that was George. George Clooney was. George was. Wow. My knowledge.

[A]

Yeah. This is what I'm saying. Like, you are an encyclopedia for all things tv.

[B]

TV used to not. Well, it was George Clooney, and it was also the Sopranos. The Sopranos changed neither of us. I know neither of us. But that changed the game for television. Like, no one wanted to be a television actor until this. Until the Sopranos came out and HBO started putting out all these, like. Like Six Feet under and, like.

[A]

And it. Why the Wire different? It's the. It's a very similar medium, except you have a lot more time to tell a story and a lot more time. I don't know. It's like. And also, the actors get a lot more time to live with the characters, Especially something like Scandal, which went on for so many seasons, Like. Like, you suddenly have an incredible actress like Kerry Washington living with this character for almost a decade. Right.

[B]

And it feels like home. Yeah, it was like a decade.

[A]

And so then. It's so wonderful to have so much time with a character. Like, when we were filming the Shards, by the last episode, I was like, I know, Susan so much more than I did during the pilot, but I

[B]

love so much about the Shards was that it made me want to be in school. The best part about the Shards is we get up. Me, Kai and Lewis, we get up, we finish watching it. I go, oh, my God, I just love the 70s so much. Lewis goes, it's the 80s, bud. The 80s. But the whole thing was in the 80s. And by the way, it is so clearly the 80s.

[A]

By the way, the voiceover. The whole time is like, the year was 1981. It's the 80s. We're in 1981.

[B]

Video killed the radio star, like, music

[A]

videos, TV in 1981. And Jake gets up and he's on a high, and he goes, oh, I wish I was in the 70s. And I was like, I'm not Gonna correct him. I can't break this moment. This was a beautiful moment. And.

[B]

And then Louis said, hey, bud, it's the 80s.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I said, right.

[A]

But it's weird, but it made me

[B]

want to be in the 80s.

[A]

Yeah, but that's like you. You get obsessed with these worlds of tv, and then even when they're doing horrible things or bad things are happening, you still kind of want to live in those worlds. Back to literature, which also. The shards is an adaptation of a book so.

[B]

By Brett Easton Ellis.

[A]

By Brett Easton Ellis, who's one of my favorite writers of all time.

[B]

He wrote American Psycho as well.

[A]

He writes about la. He's born and raised in la. I. I'm also born and raised in la. I. I feel like there's another writer, Eve Babbitts, who writes incredible.

[B]

Yeah, I know who Eve Babbitts is, but I know who is.

[A]

Maybe because I talk about her all the time.

[B]

I think you talk about her.

[A]

I talk about her all the time because I'm always like. I feel like there's this trend now where people use hating on LA as a sort of sign of intellect. Like, if I tell you how much I hate LA and why, then you'll think I'm really smart and cool.

[B]

Yeah, but LA's back.

[A]

LA's back. And we said this a year ago, and I. And then you moved to New York.

[B]

Well, no, I've spent a lot of time in New York. And by the way, when Kai is in New York, she's like, fuck, I love it here.

[A]

I do love it. I loved it. I lived there. I loved every moment of it.

[B]

I. I forgot that you did live there.

[A]

I love it so much. But I also love la, and I think growing up here, I was like, LA is so stupid and fucking lame. And now I love it here. And Eve Babbitts and Brad Easton Ellis. There are Joan Didion. There are people that write about the west and about la. Joan Didion.

[B]

I know Joan Didion.

[A]

And Brady Sinellas talks a lot about Joan Didion.

[B]

He does. In the episode of the Chart.

[A]

Yes. And I just love people who can, like, celebrate LA and also celebrate it and all its complexities and all the things that are also wrong with it. And I was reading Black Swans, which is one of my favorite Eve Babbitts books of all time, short stories. You could definitely.

[B]

You.

[A]

I think you would love it.

[B]

Is it about black Swans or is Black Swan based on that?

[A]

Absolutely nothing to do with it. Totally nothing to do with it.

[B]

But you could see how I got

[A]

from A to B. I absolutely can. And. And who's to say Darren Aronofsky wasn't inspired by Eve Babbitts? But I think maybe I am to say that.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Except for me. Back to you, Babbitts. But she has this. She wrote this. I think it was in. It was like the 80s and 90s LA. And she talks about being at this restaurant in Rodeo. And she. On Rodeo. In Rodeo. On Rodeo. I don't go.

[B]

Which I was today, because I have a shopping problem that kayak.

[A]

We have to also get into the spending addiction. But we'll get. We'll get there.

[B]

Yes, go, go.

[A]

But she's talking about it, and this was written in the 80s and she's like, everyone here looks so crazy. Everyone looks insane. They're all getting surgery and lasers and facelifts. And I was like, oh, my God. Like in the 80s, E. Babbitts was noticing. And it made me feel comforted because I was like, this is a new thing. Like, she. I thought, this chair is beautifully.

[B]

You like, it figured.

[A]

It's sort of boosted. Is that added?

[B]

Because the first episode we did and I was sitting and I was so short, and I was like this. And I was like, Louise, like, we have to make this chair higher. We could have a podcast.

[A]

I don't have enough to say. You know what? Can I tell you a really sweet moment I had with my mom today. Really cute. I have to talk about this book eventually.

[B]

Oh, yeah, go, go.

[A]

I'm gonna go, mom. Then book and then. Spending addiction.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I called my mom and I was like, I'm going on. On Jake's podcast. My parents love you and I love. Every night at dinner is a. You came. You came to. It was a Jewish holiday.

[B]

It was. It was Passover.

[A]

It wasn't Passover.

[B]

It was Passover.

[A]

It was Passover.

[B]

It was Passover.

[A]

It was because I made everyone do the Passover play.

[B]

Yes. Which was so funny.

[A]

Fun and funny and scary, too. And ultimately gay.

[B]

A little bit. A little bit.

[A]

And you and my dad had a beautiful chemistry going on. And everyone was doing voices. It was really fun. And my parents love you because every night is like a. It's like a stand up show that you do, but it's not put on. It's just. You are such an entertaining person to watch and have dinner with.

[B]

Making your dad laugh.

[A]

Oh, my greatest addiction, by the way. I think that's why I have any sense of humor is I just, like, strive to make My father laugh.

[B]

He. His laugh is so enjoyable to listen to. That's how I feel about Alice. And like, making them laugh is like the best laugh.

[A]

And he. Wait. Making them laugh is like, what? Sorry, it's an addiction.

[B]

It's like, why I kept wanting to be like, every night at dinner, I'd

[A]

be like, no, literally, I'm like, like, I am the court jester for them. And I remember specifically my dad and I went to go see the Carole King musical. Beautiful.

[B]

Oh, how was that?

[A]

It was wonderful. I love Carole King. And I remember sitting there with him and like, the crowd was all middle aged women. My dad is from Long island and his, his mother talks like this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I started doing an impression of his mother because I was like, all these women look like his mother. So I was like, oh, my God, have you seen the Carole King musical? Oh, my God. And I was making him laugh so hard that I just kept going and going. And then I was like, oh, this is so fun. It's so fun to make my dad laugh.

[B]

It is so fun.

[A]

And then my mom has a nasty, nasty sense of humor. So dirty. So, so, so nasty. It is.

[B]

I get a laugh out of her every now and then. And when I do, that shit's real.

[A]

It's real. She's not giving them out for free. It's really gratifying also, but my mom's like, dirty, dirty humor. And. But today I called her and I was like, I'm going on Jake's podcast. And I was like, running things about. I was like, is it bad to say this? Is about to say this, everything? She's like, no, it's fine. And I was like, honestly, mom, like, I really just want people to see me as human. And I feel like they don't. And she goes, kaya, you are human. And I was like, I know, I understand that. But I also, I want them to, to get me. I want them humanized. Yeah. I was like, I want them to understand me. Like, I seek so much validation. I think that's why I'm an actor. Like, I always tell directors, like, I'm not an actor because I have enough validation.

[B]

Like, please clap for me. Cheer for me. Tell me I did a good job.

[A]

You don't mean it. Like, the play. Like, I'm like, just tell me I

[B]

did a good job.

[A]

I like, I finish a tape and I'm immediately, like, always. I'm like, is that okay?

[B]

Just like, tell me I did a good job.

[A]

Humans are constantly in our lives seeking validation, even if you're not an actor, you're like, you're. You're doing things constantly seeking validation. And I was like, I just want people to understand me. And she was like, I don't think you should be asking yourself whether they understand you. I think you should ask yourself whether they feel you.

[B]

What do you mean? Yeah, what do you mean?

[A]

That's what she said.

[B]

But what do you mean?

[A]

So that's all I have. But doesn't that sort of hit like.

[B]

Yeah, like.

[A]

But do you feel, like, the essence

[B]

of who I need to get what I. You don't need to understand what I'm saying. But, like, do you feel me? Do you feel me?

[A]

Because, like, I think a lot of people don't get Meg Salter.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But they. But you feel her because she is so authentically herself.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's like not whether people fully. Because everyone's going to decipher you in their own way. They're going to project onto you, but do they feel you?

[B]

Actually, I think you us talking right now, this is how we talk in our private life as well.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

So I think people will feel you.

[A]

Thank you. I do thank you to this. Okay. Thank you for keeping track.

[B]

And then my spending addiction.

[A]

I understand that, like, library science, we cover a lot of very niche literature. And it's not. I mean, we're trying to make niche literature accessible. But I understand that not every. Everyone's gonna want to read like a book from a female Norwegian author. So I was like, let's make a publication that is short stories, short fiction, short non fiction, poetry. There's text messages in there. There is art. Yes.

[B]

I'm so excited.

[A]

And I was like, I. Someone asked Alyssa and I, who. I do like, we. It's the two of us doing library science. And they were like, are you trying to print the Internet? And I was like, like, no, wait,

[B]

But I love that.

[A]

Yeah. But I was also like, the Internet has a. It's perfectly capable of preserving itself like that. It does that for us. But I definitely am very cognizant of, like, our generation has a very short attention span. And so I was like, yeah. So I was like, if I can make a book that is sort of follows the attention span that something like Instagram or Tick Tock follows, then it can still stimulate people who are not used to reading for sustained periods of time. Like, you could pick that up, read it for a minute, get through a whole story, and then go back to your phone. Like, you don't have to Read the whole thing in one sitting. And that's really. That was important to us. And then we were trying to choose. I was like, I think it should have a theme. And so we chose a theme. Do you remember Show Me to Me Rachel?

[B]

Of course. Lewis loves Show Me to Me Rachel.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Probably.

[A]

Because I've talked about it for like three years and I. That's the theme of the book. Because I was like, I think it'd be funny to ask people like Will Arbery, who wrote the play that I did, to write something based on Show Me to Me. It's the transcript. The epilogue is the transcript to Show Me to Me. And then it ends in the tick tock URL. So it's. I. I wanted Kaya.

[B]

This is brilliant, honestly. And then on the back, it's all the authors. Yeah.

[A]

All the contributors. Great, great, great people.

[B]

I'm like, I want to write something.

[A]

I think I was just gonna say, you should.

[B]

I want to write something.

[A]

Because it can be anything. We have. We have notes app entries.

[B]

Like, I have notes app entries.

[A]

Send us any of your notes up. And we intentionally choose.

[B]

I'm so excited. This is so amazing. And it makes a great, great coffee table book as well. Like, it's really well done.

[A]

And Can I nerd out? I spent so long on the binding because I wanted it to be able to lay flat when you're on the middle section. So there's this Japanese binding technique. Everyone just fell asleep, by the way. There's a Japanese binding technique where you can, like, open it. Hold on. So you can open it and then it, like, still lays flat. Do you see the spine? How it.

[B]

Oh, wow. Well, that's attention to detail, so. Oh, my God. Well, congratulations.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

I really think this is gonna be it.

[A]

It's so fun to publish. It's a great time financially to get into publishing. You make so much money.

[B]

Really.

[A]

Okay, so you have a spending addiction.

[B]

I do have a spending addiction. When did it start where I bought the Birkin.

[A]

You bought a Birkin Kai?

[B]

It's. You've seen the Birkin?

[A]

It's brown.

[B]

It's brown.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I showed it to your mom, I said. And she said, cute.

[A]

I have to say, my mom's so not, like, into spending like that. The most expensive thing I have ever bought was the Chanel bag. That's the first designer bag I've ever bought for myself.

[B]

And it's beautiful. And you have it with you right now?

[A]

Yeah. It's such a true. I. It was literally. I Bought it. And I was like, I have made it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's how I felt. Shards. And I was like, I really feel. I understand. I think you. It rubbed off on me because, like, you know, you can't take it with you when you're dead.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And you can leave it to your children, and you should.

[B]

That's what I say. I'll leave it to my gay son, Theo, who's gonna be gay for sure.

[A]

Maybe he won't be.

[B]

I actually feel like he might not be. You are having gay children.

[A]

In. In. That's my hope and dream.

[B]

Louise's as well.

[A]

Million. Do you have the name picked out, though? Like, he does. Like, it's psycho. No. Okay. You know what Will does that I

[B]

now do is you're by year, by God. Will's the best. Will's the connector of all beings. He connected us.

[A]

He really did.

[B]

He.

[A]

He came to Mexico before you did.

[B]

He did. And that's when this all started. It all goes back to Mexico.

[A]

I thought you're gonna say it all goes back to Will. And I was like, by the way, I agree.

[B]

But it all does go back to Will.

[A]

It does. Honestly, the. One of the greatest. Like, I feel so lucky that I found him in this life. I feel the same about you, too, but I'm just like.

[B]

I feel. I really feel that about.

[A]

What a miraculous person. Like, what an absolute. Like, you shouldn't get someone.

[B]

Like, he could talk to a wall. I mean, we would wake up in Mexico, it'd be 11am Will would be dripping sweat from his 10th pickleball match of the day around every single person in the vicinity. He knew everybody.

[A]

I've been going there since I was a baby. And Will knew more people than you. Way more plans. It was amazing.

[B]

It was amazing. Anyways, what are you, therapist about today? Because last time I tried not to ask because I always forget to ask.

[A]

What did I say last time?

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

I have one this time.

[B]

Okay. What is that?

[A]

I'm therapist. You know, you were there for the. The beginning of this journey. But I got a belly button ring.

[B]

Oh, my God. And it's amazing. It was the best day ever. I almost got an ear piercing, which you were encouraging me to get, by the way.

[A]

Well, I was getting my belly button pierced. I was like, gary, ear piercing hairs, right?

[B]

Louise cared.

[A]

So I got a belly button piercing right when we wrapped the shards, because I was like, wow, I'm crazy, and no one can stop me. And I've always wanted one, so it wasn't Like a crazy. I've always wanted one. I've always liked them. Got a belly button piercing. What they don't tell you is that it's going to be infected for longer than you can ever imagine.

[B]

They told you it wouldn't be infected. I was there. They said, like, you'll be fine. It'll be fine. You're going to be fine. You ask every question.

[A]

To be fair, I did not listen to the professional who said that you should not pierce with a hoop. You should pierce with the bar. And I was like, I want a hoop. And he was like, it's gonna heal much slower.

[B]

I said, what do you mean, pierce with the bar? Like, down your belly button.

[A]

There's the bar, which is like what Britney Spears had with, like, the diamond up here and then the, like, hanging thing down there.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And I was like, I'm not a pop star. Like, I need a little ring. It looks so it's infected. And how. Good.

[B]

Look.

[A]

Thank you. I'm. I like it. I do like it.

[B]

So kind.

[A]

But here's the problem. You need to. I have a meticulous cleaning routine, really? For it, which is. So you get a belly button ring because you're like, I'm gonna be cool. There's nothing less cool than having a meticulous cleaning routine for your belly button, Right?

[B]

What is that?

[A]

Twice a day face wash on it, then rinsing it off, then saline spray. I'm spraying, spraying it. I'm moving it. I'm spraying it. It's. It's so deeply uncool. So this thing that was supposed to make me look cooler has suddenly become, like, the dorkiest thing about me. Also, I'll wake up in the middle of the night with a finger hooked into the ring now, ripping it, ripping it. In my dreams. I'm riffing. Why? I don't know. I don't know. I'm ripping and I wake up and I'm like, ah. And then it's. And then there's blood. It's. Yeah, it'll heal eventually, but that's what. I'm. There don't. It doesn't.

[B]

Speaking of dreams, one of my favorite parts about Cabo was I was like, I need Advil pm. I'm out. Lewis, like, do you have an Advil pm? He takes like, a. Like a quarter of an Advil pm.

[A]

She's off a little corner, and I'm like.

[B]

And he gave me, like, half. And I said, oh, no, no, no, no.

[A]

I need three.

[B]

I need three to four. And he looked at me as if he. If I was his child and he was about to send me away.

[A]

He was like, no, no, he's used it. Because I. I need to. I have a big. I have a sleep problem.

[B]

We both have sleep problems.

[A]

How do we fix it?

[B]

So what I've realized is you just watch TV with a sleep mask on. You put it on, and then eventually your eyes start shutting as the TV show gets more boring. And then you. You're out. That's my. That's my go to right now.

[A]

What are you therapist about?

[B]

What am I therapist about? Honestly, I have had the most amazing day.

[A]

Really.

[B]

I finally was able to work out after my wrist. Mommy thumb.

[A]

Mommy thumb.

[B]

I had a great workout session. Then I went home.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, I burped. I. I. No, actually, what I did. Oh, my God. I had the best day ever.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I worked out. I was walking. I walked to Erewhon, and I passed

[A]

Saint Laurent, and I said, the spending addiction.

[B]

And I said, I'm just gonna hop in. There was a nylon orange windbreaker.

[A]

You didn't buy it, of course. Right? Oh, my God. You're gonna hear it. Oh, my God. Brace yourself,

[B]

happy cowboy. So I walked in to St. Laurent, and I Wait, is it bad, you guys? Literally, the entire sales associate was like, I look like.

[A]

I'm like, jake, this sales this. They're in sales. Their job is to sell.

[B]

Wait, so I'm wondering where I'm gonna wear this to

[A]

spent on this.

[B]

Anyhow, you have to wear it back to my amazing day. So, by the way, while you were

[A]

gone, Louise was like, he texted me today that, like, today was the worst day of his life.

[B]

No, it was amazing. I worked out, and then I passed St. Laurent. I walked in, I bought this lovely windbreaker and a vintage shirt of Pet Shop Boys. Do you know who the Pet Shop Boys are?

[A]

I do.

[B]

I didn't, but it looked cool, and so I bought.

[A]

Also, didn't you get a Tom Waits shirt?

[B]

I did. That's under this?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so basically, I bought that.

[A]

I have to say, you do look very, very cute.

[B]

Right? It's not horrible?

[A]

No, I don't think it's horrible. I just. I think the. I mean, you spent a lot of

[B]

money on it, but I can wear this. I'm like, oh, my God, it's raining out. Like, well, I guess there's no hood. So, basically, then I went. I went to Erwan in Santa Monica, and they had my keto pork, and I got my keto pork, and then I went Home. And I took a psychiatrist appointment, and I got prescribed new meds. And then I started watching Real Housewives of Salt. Of. Of Rhode Island.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I took a nap. I woke up, and you're here. And that was my day.

[A]

That's a good day. It's a really nice day.

[B]

I said I was having the worst day ever.

[A]

Yeah, you said. I have taken up. I'm sorry. Depressed.

[B]

Oh, I was depressed, but that's just par for the course. And the new meds I got just prescribed are for.

[A]

That are for depression.

[B]

Yes. Wellbutrin. And it's supposed to take it in the morning, and it's supposed to, like, kind of. Because I was saying to my psychiatrist, I was like. He was like, you have anxiety, but these feelings of like. Like your hopelessness and your. Your impending doom, like, that is depression. So you should probably take this.

[A]

Yes. Is it your first time on SSRIS or.

[B]

No, no, no. I've been on SSRIS forever. I don't know if. Well is well be trained ssri. Okay. So. Well, cheers.

[A]

Cheers.

[B]

Eyes. Should you to tell me what's wrong?

[A]

Yeah. I'm scared

[B]

this might. This has been.

[A]

This has been real joy. This has been a real joy.

[B]

Oh, my God. Nolan, look what he did.

[A]

Nolan, look what he did. Oh, look what you did.

[B]

Adding to the decor. Also, Kaya tried my gummies last night, and they were amazing.

[A]

What are the Jake. Are they called the Jake, Shane?

[B]

No, they're called Sour Pus.

[A]

The Sour Puss.

[B]

Oh, my God. And this will be right before they come out.

[A]

Can I. I had six of them.

[B]

Yeah, we. They're amazing.

[A]

It's okay. It reminded me of when I would go through. I'd bag. Like, I. I buy a huge bag of the gummy sour worms.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

And you just pick out the red and blue ones.

[B]

It's funny because I actually don't like those worms, but I like this.

[A]

Well, the texture of these is on it.

[B]

It's unmatched.

[A]

I've always wanted to put hot lava in my mouth, even though I know it would be horrible.

[B]

You know what I does.

[A]

That makes sense.

[B]

No, it's an intrusive thought. I also feel that way. I always want to see a burrito hit in slow motion by a baseball bat.

[A]

See, that you could do before you could put lava in your mouth.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

But I can make this dream come true for you. In fact, maybe tonight.

[B]

But all I want to do is have a Chipotle burrito thrown in the air, and I want someone to hit it with A baseball bat. I think. When I tell you I think about this at least once a week. I thought about it last night.

[A]

What part of our mental illness is that? Because I think about putting lava in my mouth. Because I think about how the inside would be gooey and the hard outer shell would sort of stick. Anyways, that's what it felt like to eat your conscious, but not great in the way that, like, that's what I. Oh.

[B]

So it was, like, comforting.

[A]

It was amazing.

[B]

But yeah. If anyone out there can throw up a burrito and hit it with a baseball bat in slow motion, I want to see, like, it spill out. Like, I want to see the baseball bat slowly. The way that you slowly hit the burrito and the burrito go in, and then you see the burrito right before it breaks.

[A]

I have a question. Are you thinking the brute? So this is the. This is the burrito. Are you thinking the baseball bat hits it and it goes.

[B]

Yes, yes. A little bit. And then it explodes and. But maybe it, like, also flies off. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen. Like, I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen, by the way.

[A]

Who's to say?

[B]

And I. Who is to say until we do it? Until we do it. And I really want to do that.

[A]

We can do that whenever you want.

[B]

Oh, here. Got it. Thank you, Noel.

[A]

And the windburger's grown on me. Yeah, it's a cute color.

[B]

Like, let me just do.

[A]

Do a little moment.

[B]

In what situation would I wear this?

[A]

Well, okay. Do you ever, like. Okay. When you're trying on clothes for a night out, do you do a little pose ever in the mirror to be like.

[B]

Every time. Every time.

[A]

So what's the pose that you do?

[B]

They don't have, like, your pockets.

[A]

There's a big pocket right there.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

But you'll see everything that's in it,

[B]

like a kangaroo pouch. Okay. So I would wear this to, like. I would wear this, too. So my issue is. Is this. Also used to have shoulder pads. I had to take them out. I said, I can't buy this.

[A]

Can you turn.

[B]

What does it look like in the back? Right.

[A]

Turn to the side.

[B]

You would not believe. You would not believe how much nylon can cost you. It is nylon. Take a seat. Okay. I realized I have terrible music taste. I heard a song the other day, and I've been bumping it since I just learned it was some AI Slop song. Like, I get it. No, I. I understand it. Just because I thought the San Juan song was a Real song.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

First time in San Juan Mijo, capital of Puerto Rico. Immediately,

[A]

perfect pitch.

[B]

Thank you. Because it's AI.

[A]

No, but you have perfect.

[B]

The whole plane clapped when we landed. I just learned it with some AI Sloth song like, come on, I'm not dumb. How did I not notice this? I genuinely liked it too. So that's not good either. What the. You know what? You just gotta listen to music. You gotta listen to real music. You gotta go to Spotify.

[A]

You know what's amazing?

[B]

What?

[A]

The Ryan Beatty album.

[B]

Oh. Have you been listening?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How have we not talked about this? What's your favorite song?

[A]

I'm between a few.

[B]

Okay. Tell me.

[A]

I love Sweet Fortune. Love isn't claro on that too.

[B]

I think she is.

[A]

I think it's claro.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I love Dust.

[B]

Me too. Is that the one where he says, I hate New York? I'm just like up to a day. I go back and forth. I'm like, I get it, I get it.

[A]

And by the way, me too.

[B]

I'm like, I get that. My favorite is virtuoso Vertigo. I wasn't over gonna come out west,

[A]

you know, what you like happier.

[B]

But he says in it, he says, you gotta learn to leave to remember why you stay. Letting go of what you hold holds you just the same.

[A]

I got none of that.

[B]

No, like letting go of what you hold. Like letting go. Like you need to learn to leave to remember why what you had was important. And letting go of that. That feeling of letting go and trust falling into the universe holds you the

[A]

same way that thing holding on so tight does. That's wonderful.

[B]

Yeah, I like that.

[A]

He's. He's brilliant.

[B]

Brilliant.

[A]

You actually have turned me on to great music. You turned me on to choosing Texas.

[B]

She's from Texas. I can tell by the way she's too stepping around the room. It's the best song ever. I was in the car with Kai. I was like, please let me play this right now.

[A]

You played me that song and you were like, it's about cheating. And I listen and I was like, it's. It is about cheating.

[B]

It is about cheating because he's choosing Texas.

[A]

He's choosing Texas.

[B]

I can tell, because he's too stepping around that fucking room.

[A]

He's. And by the way, because he was two stepping around that fucking room.

[B]

Huh? And it doesn't take a crystal ball to see.

[A]

And then she's drinking Jack all by

[B]

herself because he's choosing Texas.

[A]

She can tell because he's quite literally choosing Texas. And she can tell.

[B]

And.

[A]

And the truth about it is she can always.

[B]

She can always tell because he's two stepping around the room.

[A]

And. And men, they are two stepping around every. When they're cheating. They are two stepping around every room. And she can tell.

[B]

Oh, my God. The tag is still in there.

[A]

I thought you said oh, because I was like. I was really like, Truth.

[B]

You know that was named one of the best albums of this year so far.

[A]

Ella Langley. She's amazing. Dandelion, you also turned me on to, oh, Mexico, honey. Because you said it reminded you of me.

[B]

I did. It does. It reminds me of you. Licking my lip, lining your lips and your short shorts in Mexico. Like, oh, you're her.

[A]

I mean, I could never.

[B]

Yes, you are. Like, when I live in Mexico, honey, I think of you in Mexico.

[A]

Her voice is like velvet. It's like sweet, sweet velvet. I love her so much.

[B]

That album is just to die for you.

[A]

She's amazing.

[B]

You put me onto Crush Stripped.

[A]

Are we supposed to be giving advice? Sorry.

[B]

Oh, what's. You should listen to my Playlist on Spotify 26. It has all the new and greatest of what I've been listening to and it's on Spotify and it's 26 because I'm 26 years old.

[A]

You're blackout drunk.

[B]

I am a little drunk. I've gotten drunk. Cheers. Eyes. At this point, you know, so I was hooking up with my co worker for a couple of months. He told me from the start he didn't want a relationship because he had just got out of one a few months earlier. I continued to hook up with him here and there after I left my job. We hadn't talked in a month. And now I see he's making the moves on a girl that replaced me at work. Wow. I would be so mad. He took her on the exact same date he took me on too. How do you know that? Literally copy and paste. He's also telling her he wants a relationship with her. How also do you know that I'm so heartbroken and upset. How do I get back at him? I mean, I don't know if there is a get back.

[A]

The best revenge is Joy. Is Joy.

[B]

He is gonna be doing the same thing forever.

[A]

And here's the thing. This man, I don't know this man. I don't know the situation. I don't know how she knows all this information either.

[B]

That's what I'm convinced.

[A]

I respect her.

[B]

She must have a source at work.

[A]

She's got a source at work. And. Cool. Great. Or maybe the other woman's reporting back, but I.

[B]

My teeth itch, by the way, and it's all I can think about.

[A]

Welcome to my health.

[B]

Miserable. I'm miserable every day. All I can think about is my teeth.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Continue. I'm so sorry.

[A]

I think the best rev. The problem with this man is he sort of. I think he's in his own world. And so any sort of signifier that she gives, that she cares, he'll take as like she still likes me. Sometimes it's best to just act indifferent. Even if you're not. Even if you're still in pain, just don't. Don't get back at it. Because getting back at him, he'll be like, she cares, right?

[B]

There's a song. Indifference by Megan Maroney.

[A]

Sing it.

[B]

Just indifferent. That's it, right?

[A]

You're unreal.

[B]

I don't even care what he's thinking. Yeah. Indifferent by Megan Moroney.

[A]

The thing is, like we talked about with you started watching movies to seem cool. I started reading books to seem smart,

[B]

and now I watch movies. And now you have a book collection.

[A]

And so if she starts pretending to be indifferent, one day she'll wake up and she actually will be.

[B]

I need to get an earpiece. Then that's what I just took from that. I have to get an ear piercing. How do I tell my friend that I can't spend fifteen hundred dollars and three days of paid time off on her bachelorette trip, even though I know she's going to explode and call me a bad friend? It's just not in the cards for me. Please. What do I do? You know what? I'm actually going to take this out of us and give this one to Louise, because she goes to a lot of weddings.

[A]

I think the answer here is so clear, and it's that if you can't have this conversation with your friend, and if. If your friend is mad at you for this, that's a major red. Not a friend. Not your friend.

[B]

Louise has a wedding every week.

[A]

Yeah, I do.

[B]

Anyways, I went to a concert last night and my boyfriend projectile vomited all over the girl standing in front of us. He was too cross and couldn't have prevented it, but now I'm icked out and don't know what to think about the situation. I apologize to the girls and helped him feel better, but I'm torn because I can't get the image of him throwing up out of my mind. That's not your person.

[A]

Yeah. If you really love someone they could vomit all over you. Your mother, your father, your family, the people you love, and you would still love them.

[B]

I kind of agree.

[A]

Like, I'm, you know, I'm like ick queen.

[B]

You are. You have a list.

[A]

I have a list. It's a hundred strong. It's.

[B]

And we did say that you would read some of them the next time you would come back on here.

[A]

Yeah, we can do it at the end. I have a. I have a lot. I mean, we don't.

[B]

Kaya has an ick list.

[A]

Yes, yes. And it's shared and I've added to it. You've added. It's. It's boys with background.

[B]

Stop wearing them.

[A]

Okay. But here's the thing. When you're madly, truly, deeply in love, they can double strap a backpack. They can vomit a at a concert, they can wait in line with an empty plate at the buffet. And you still.

[B]

Oh, my God, I didn't even think about that. That's the beauty of your ick list.

[A]

It's. They're. They're all over the place, but you still love them. So I think an ick, as we've talked about, is just you. There's something else going on.

[B]

Right. Because at the end of the day, like, if that's your person, like, you will never get icked out. No, no, I can't control my mood. It will be the best mood. And then one small thing just throws me off and ruins my, like, week. I ruminate on very small things and don't know how to stop. Please, my OCD king, help me out. So basically what I've been doing is journaling.

[A]

Do you have a mood disorder?

[B]

Yes, yes, I think I do.

[A]

Oh, no, I just was asking. You haven't been died.

[B]

No, I've never been diagnosed, but I've been diagnosed with depression, OCD and anxiety.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think all those like in combined are a mood disorder. I think you can put them all. And you know what? And you know what? Yes, I can.

[A]

And yes, I can, by the way. I just did.

[B]

And I just did. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. That is a mood disorder. Anxiety, depression, and OCD and add. I have a mood disorder.

[A]

You have a hard time regulating your moods.

[B]

Yes, disorder. It's disorganized. You know, yesterday I got not in trouble, but everyone was like, you're so stupid. Because I thought interview. I was so high. I thought interview meant internalized view of the person, but it actually comes from the French word intra. So basically, I would go on meds Is in. Is. That's. That's the journal and go on meds. Is that bad advice?

[A]

No, you. That's what you would do.

[B]

That's the only.

[A]

I've been on meds. They didn't work for me. Not that they. They actually worked in a way that I didn't like, because I couldn't feel sad or I couldn't feel happy. It's not like. It just like, adult for me. I think they work for other people. But, like, I. It took my deep, deep depression away, but it also took my, like, extreme happiness away.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So then I became a very extreme person because I was just trying to feel something. Something. So they didn't work the way that I wanted them to. But I also know so many people that have been saved by them. So I'm not anti meds, but I think, like, you can try meds, see if they work. You can try journaling. There are other kinds of therapy or. I think there's so many different Charlie raps. Charlie raps.

[B]

And it, honestly, for him is very therapeutic. Yeah, it's. There's so many different types of therapy.

[A]

I write fan fiction. I love. It's so fun to write something, even if you don't put it like, I write fan fiction. I don't put it anywhere. I just like it.

[B]

What do you write it about? You know what? And that's the point of it. It's there.

[A]

It's not, you know what? I'll say. Not a human.

[B]

Right.

[A]

There you go. Next question.

[B]

Okay. My boyfriend keeps farting in his sleep every night. We just moved in together, and it's getting progressively worse. Every time I bring it up, he just denies it. Well, how can he deny it? He's asleep.

[A]

Literally asleep.

[B]

Is this just a superficial problem, or do I need to take a look at our relationship as a whole? Because. Because I'm scared that in the future he will deny more things. Now you're that. Oh, I mean, obviously he's asleep. He's not gonna be like, yeah, I farted.

[A]

Yeah. You know what? You can't.

[B]

You're. That's what I understand.

[A]

As, you know, being like, is. Is this person gonna not take my word for it? That's scary to be with someone that you think doesn't take your word for it. Like, I think the person that you should. That you are meant to be with, will take your word for it no matter what. They won't question it. However, Farting's embarrassing.

[B]

Oh, my God. What should we talk about? How I fell down the Stairs at your event. Silence. The other night, you guys, I had a wrist brace on at her uni

[A]

event, which, by the way, he showed up in his wrist brace, and I was like, you're so annoying.

[B]

I love it. I had mommy thumb, and I'm walking up the stairs to get the WI fi code because I don't drive. So I didn't drive there, and I had to leave because my mommy thumb hurt so bad, and I had to. To go home, and I had to sleep, and I fell down the stairs and broke a glass, and I just walked away and sent a photo of the broken glass. And I said, did anyone see that? No one responded. That is it for the tell me what's wrongs.

[A]

Oh, that's actually not that bad.

[B]

Yeah, that's. That's, like, a killer app.

[A]

It'll get. Yeah.

[B]

Well, Kaya, what did we learn today? I learned I forgot cameras were here, which is the best sign of the day.

[A]

I did, too, which is a little concerning, but great. I learned that this is coming out when the shards comes out, which is really.

[B]

And you have to watch the shards you like. I finished the first two episodes last night, and I was like, I need the rest of them.

[A]

I. I actually. And I hate watching myself and things, despite how it may look, but I hate it. And, like, I want more because everyone other than me, I'm gonna. I'm gonna take myself out of it. Everyone's so good in it. And it's such a sexy world. And even though bad things are happening, you want to be. You want to be in that world.

[B]

It's sexy, it's scary, it's gay, it's funny, it's.

[A]

And it's self aware. Like, when he's sitting in the theater in that opening shot, and he's like, I sat there waiting for the movie to start without a phone to distract myself.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We don't do that anymore.

[B]

But he's talking about it.

[A]

He's addressing it.

[B]

He's addressing that there was no phone.

[A]

There were no phones.

[B]

But it is. It is really amazing. Like, I'm so excited. I feel like it's about to take you on, like, the most magical whirlwind.

[A]

Thanks. And I also shout out cigarette Acting the best.

[B]

Wait, I was about to say, were you not smoking real cigarettes?

[A]

No. They give you fake herbal cigarettes.

[B]

They looked real. You guys were doing a great job.

[A]

Kind of grosser than real cigarettes.

[B]

I mean, I would imagine so.

[A]

And. And. But I'm sort of always like, what do I do with my hands? No, you have a cigarette. You don't have to ask that question because you just. You're. Oh, I'm having a pensive moment. It's amazing.

[B]

It was. You crush it.

[A]

It was amazing in every scene of that show. Because I would get to set, I'd be like, I think Susan would probably have a cigarette right now. Right.

[B]

And you would. And you know what? I feel so special having gotten to spend time with you and the cast while you were filming that and hearing all your stories.

[A]

Is there a performance? This is not including me. That is. You feel, like, the most different or the most surprising because you do know everyone in that show.

[B]

Graham.

[A]

Because it's the most different.

[B]

I was just like. Wait, what? Like, I was like. Because I know Graham in person, and it was just so different.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Kind of. Same with Igby.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And Hayes. So all of them.

[A]

Everyone.

[B]

Everyone. All of you.

[A]

Homer.

[B]

Homer. All of you. Actually, all of you.

[A]

It's funny because you're doing the scenes with them, and I'm like, I'm watching my friends act, and then I'm watching the show, and I'm like, my friends are really good actors.

[B]

You're all really good actors. And it's an incredible show, and I'm. I feel like it's about to take you on this magical journey that, like, you finished the first part of the magical journey, and now it's the second part of the magical journey, and I'm so excited.

[A]

I want to do it again. I want to smoke more herbal cigarettes. Really, I do.

[B]

I. I want Ryan Murphy, please. Ryan Murphy, please, Please.

[A]

And we're Glee heads, both of us.

[B]

We are Glee heads. And it's kind of like Glee if Glee had murder. And. Yeah, you know what?

[A]

Ryan described the difference between camp and broke to me, which I didn't know what's broke.

[B]

I know that it's an art.

[A]

So camp is, like, something that takes itself seriously, but then we end up making fun of, like, oh, that's camp. Oh, Baroque knows what it's doing. It's in on the joke. It's kind of the thing you talk about with the banana peel. It's the Hannah Horvath, by the way. I feel like I'm either Hannah or Marnie. And you're Elijah.

[B]

I am Elijah. No, I'm.

[A]

Hannah is gay.

[B]

I. I feel like I'm. You think I'm Hannah? You think I'm Elijah? I feel like I'm Hannah.

[A]

Maybe I'm Elijah and you're Hannah.

[B]

I think maybe because Elijah is very self assured and, like, knows, like, knows what he wants and gets it.

[A]

The truth is that you're Hannah and I'm Marnie, but I don't want to talk about that.

[B]

Okay, that's fine.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't think you're Marnie. I don't think you're Marnie. You are not Marnie. You are not Marnie. We learned that you're not Marnie.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I love you, Kai. I love you.

[A]

I actually. I love you so much.

[B]

Well, we're best friends. And by the way, talk about something that you remember when we were saying, like, you just have to say you're doing it, and then it happens. We would say we were best friends before we were best friends.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And now we're actually best friends. And I really love you so much.

[A]

I love you so much. I think you're the funniest person that has ever walked the earth.

[B]

I think you are the most talented, most beautiful, and the best thing to ever happen to me. I mean, it's. And, Lewis, I love you, too. Yes. You know what to do.

[A]

Bye.