Session 70: Meg Stalter

Summary

Therapuss with Jake Shane: Session 70 Featuring Meg Stalter – Detailed Summary

Introduction In Episode 70 of Therapuss with Jake Shane, Jake Shane welcomes the renowned comedian Meg Stalter as the special guest. The episode, released on May 1, 2025, delves into Meg's journey in comedy, her experiences working on popular shows like Hacks and Lena Dunham's Too Much, and offers heartfelt discussions on personal growth and relationships.

Personal Updates and Professional Highlights Jake begins the session by sharing his recent trip to New York, highlighting his involvement in the first episode of Hacks. He expresses his admiration for Meg, stating, "She's so hysterical. She's such a pro and I just adore her." (00:10). Although they briefly mention working together on Hacks, they steer clear of discussing the show's specifics to avoid spoilers.

Meg updates listeners on her upcoming "Prettiest Girl in America" tour, expressing excitement about her return to the road. She humorously engages in banter with Jake about her comedic prowess, affirming, "You are my all-time favorite. No one makes me laugh harder." (02:49). Their playful exchange sets a warm and engaging tone for the episode.

Comedy Journey and Evolution A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Meg's evolution in the comedy scene. She shares her early days in improv and stand-up, initially believing she was exceptionally funny but gradually understanding the nuances of comedic delivery. Meg recounts, "I thought the Chuck E. Cheese joke I told was funny. I didn't think the Chuck E. Cheese joke I told was funny. I wanted to do characters, but instead, I learned that you don't have to set it up like that." (12:36). This self-awareness led her to develop unique comedic styles, such as slideshow presentations, which allow her to convey humor more effectively.

Meg also discusses her experience with mock bad comedy sets, which have been critiqued online. She reveals, "I thought it'd be funny to take all the laughs out and make it look like I did really bad. How could they not tell we did that?" (14:36). This experiment showcases her willingness to push boundaries and explore different facets of humor.

Work with Lena Dunham and Too Much Meg enthusiastically describes her collaboration with Lena Dunham on the new show Too Much. She praises Lena's directing skills, saying, "She's the best writer. She's such a good director." (31:11). Their work together in London brings out a blend of Meg's comedic talent and Lena's creative vision, resulting in memorable on-screen moments. Meg shares an anecdote about filming a sex scene, highlighting the humorous side of acting: "We were in the bedroom, and the door swung open—it's so funny and awkward. I couldn't stop laughing during that scene." (32:30).

Personal Relationships and Self-Reflection The conversation takes a reflective turn as Meg and Jake discuss personal relationships and self-awareness. They explore themes of trust, insecurity, and personal growth in the context of modern relationships. For instance, Meg advises on handling insecurities related to a partner's past, stating, "Finding somebody that is loyal to you and you're loyal to them. It's not worth it to mess around." (66:18). Their exchange emphasizes the importance of trust and communication in maintaining healthy relationships.

Creative Projects and Future Plans Meg reveals her creative endeavors beyond stand-up comedy, including her foray into podcasting with her brother. The podcast, titled Confronting Demons with Megan Salter, explores personal and societal issues through humor and candid conversations. She mentions, "He's a tattoo artist, him and my dad are. So I have tattoos from them." (23:17). This project highlights Meg's multifaceted talents and her commitment to meaningful content creation.

Health and Well-being Towards the end of the episode, Jake shares a personal health issue related to his deviated septum and sinus problems. Meg offers compassionate support, encouraging Jake to seek further medical advice despite his doctor's contradictory assessment. Their conversation underscores the importance of listening to one's body and advocating for proper healthcare.

Closing Thoughts and Audience Engagement As the episode winds down, Jake and Meg engage in a lively exchange about astrology, personal quirks, and mutual admiration. Their chemistry is evident, bringing a sense of camaraderie and genuine friendship to the show. Meg concludes by promoting her tour, humorously stating, "You're the funniest and the prettiest. Please, everybody, please come see the Prettiest Girl in America tour."

Notable Quotes

• Jake Shane (00:10): "She's so hysterical. She's such a pro and I just adore her."
• Meg Stalter (02:49): "You are my all-time favorite. No one makes me laugh harder."
• Meg Stalter (12:36): "I thought it'd be funny to take all the laughs out and make it look like I did really bad."
• Meg Stalter (31:11): "She's the best writer. She's such a good director."
• Meg Stalter (66:18): "Finding somebody that is loyal to you and you're loyal to them. It's not worth it to mess around."

Conclusion Session 70 of Therapuss offers an intimate glimpse into Meg Stalter's comedic journey, her collaborative experiences, and her perspectives on personal relationships. Jake Shane and Meg's engaging dialogue provides listeners with both laughter and insightful reflections, making it a compelling episode for fans and newcomers alike.

Timestamps Reference

• (00:10): Intro and thanks
• (02:06): Introduction of Meg Stalter
• (12:36): Meg discusses her early comedy experiences
• (14:36): Reaction to online critiques
• (23:17): Discussion about Meg's tattoo artist brother
• (31:11): Working with Lena Dunham
• (32:30): Anecdote about filming a sex scene
• (66:18): Insights on loyalty in relationships

Transcript

[A]

Hi, welcome back to Therapists. I am really, really, really tired today. I just got back from New York last night. I had a very fun time last week. My first episode of Hacks came out which was so incredible. I watched it in bed and I was like, I seriously can't believe this is real. So I just wanted to say a quick thank you to Paul, Lucia and Jen for taking a chance on me and letting me be a part of their incredible show. And they also introduced me to the wonderful Meg Stalter who is our guest tonight. She is so fantastic. We worked together on Hacks for the few days I was there and she was just so welcoming and so lovely. I was such a huge fan of her before and meeting her after just made me an even bigger fan. We didn't really touch on Hacks during the interview because I think I thought it was going to come out before and I didn't want to spoil the surprise. But she was so, so lovely to work with. She's so hysterical. She's such a pro and I just adore her. Everyone on that set was so wonderful. But yeah, I was in New York this week. I had a lot of fun. Yeah, I had a great, great time. I love New York. I do though, have an anxiety there that I don't have in Los Angeles. I go back on tour May 16th. I start in San Fr. Just locked down. A really exciting guest for Las Vegas over Memorial Day weekend. It's just I'm so excited to be back on the road. If you don't have tickets yet, go to passthatpuss.com click live with Jake Shane and see if I'm coming to a city near you. Also, if you want to submit a tell me what's Wrong, go to passthatpuss.com and click Tell me what's wrong and leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. Yeah. Enjoy tonight's episode. Love you, pussies. Hi, pussies. Welcome back to therapuss. Today we have, you know I'm going to say it. My favorite comedian in the entire world. Nobody makes me laugh harder. Nobody is more original. Nobody is better.

[B]

Do you mean that?

[A]

I mean every word I'm saying. She's about to embark on her prettiest girl in America tour. She is a star of the Emmy award winning glow, golden globe winning critics choice award winning comedy show hacks and the star of the new Lena Dunham directed show too much, Max Alter.

[B]

Thank you. Is this my camera?

[A]

This is your camera.

[B]

Do you think I'm Better than Dave Chappelle.

[A]

Yes, I do.

[B]

I do Joan Rivers. Okay. No, you don't think it, but it's different. It's a taste thing.

[A]

You're. It's different.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not saying I'm better. I'm just asking you because you said all time favorite.

[A]

You are my all time favorite. No one makes me laugh harder.

[B]

Except for Joan Rivers.

[A]

Well, no, Joan Rivers didn't make me like, she made me laugh and kind of like a way, you know, it's like, I can't believe you said that.

[B]

She made you clutch your pearls.

[A]

Yeah, I clutched all my pearls.

[B]

That's. That is. Thank you for saying that about me. I think that you're the all time funniest. And when I met you, I was, like, smiling at you, and I almost feel like I was flirting with you all day.

[A]

We were flirting all day. And then do you remember I left for Miami that night and you had me text you every hour an update on my travels?

[B]

Because I was. I wanted to make sure you were safe the rest of the day.

[A]

I was.

[B]

And the rest of your life.

[A]

I. Hopefully I am.

[B]

You will be.

[A]

Oh, thank you. Well, how are you? How are you doing?

[B]

We didn't have anything else to say, like, anyway. Like the octopus.

[A]

Like the octopus.

[B]

Yeah, I. I heard you on your podcast, the one that we're on, talking about different kinds of octopus that you can eat.

[A]

Oh, which podcast did you hear that on?

[B]

On the Katy Perry one.

[A]

Oh, okay, cool.

[B]

I actually did like everything you chose to put on your burrito, by the way.

[A]

Thank you so much. Thanks.

[B]

Well, I. I got in the habit of getting this burrito, like, every week, and it kind of made me sick every time, but it tasted so good. I won't say the place and I can't remember the name of it.

[A]

We'll bleep it.

[B]

Um, I can't remember the name, but I got it every week.

[A]

Have you ever been.

[B]

It's called, like, Big nasty burrito or something like that, and it has, like, hash browns in it.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I. I don't know. I. I had to stop ordering it. But it is one of those names where it's like, big crazy guys.

[A]

Wake and late. I guess that's not.

[B]

What is that? What'd you say? Are you nervous to be on the podcast with me, or does it feel like your old cousin's here?

[A]

No. How nervous was? I say I was. I said I've never been more NER in my life.

[B]

No, you're joking.

[A]

No. I swear. I swear.

[B]

I just didn't know if it was like, oh, oh, yeah. Well, we have Meg, so we have to be nervous today.

[A]

No, I was.

[B]

Turn the cameras on. Turn them off. Who cares?

[A]

I was so nervous. I still am.

[B]

You don't seem nervous at all.

[A]

Really.

[B]

I. I get nervous to do podcasts. I'm not very good at them.

[A]

You're excellent at everything you do.

[B]

I went on the Bald and Beautiful, and people in the comments were saying, boring interview. Who's that?

[A]

Are you serious?

[B]

But then some people defended me and they're like, no, no, it's funny. It's like they're just old friends hanging out. And that's what I really want to listen to. Just normal conversation. I thought I left going, I wish it was another hour long. I felt like I was so funny.

[A]

You are always so funny. One time I ran into Trixie Mattel and I didn't know who she was.

[B]

Was she out of drag?

[A]

No, she was in drag. I just wasn't well versed in the space. I like, in my head, I was like, is that Trixie Mattel?

[B]

Wait, I. I am really bad with celebrities and a. I won't say who, but somebody came up to me, a pop star, and she was like, oh, my God, I love your comedy. But I didn't know what looked like.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I just thought she was, like a beautiful model. And I said, I love your sweater.

[A]

That's okay.

[B]

And that was all. But that was years ago, and I. I didn't know what she looked like. I. I know her music and love her music, but at the time, it was like a long time ago, and so I didn't know what she looked like. I just knew, like, her popular songs. But it's literally. And I was like, oh, my God. She's like, yeah, that's one of the biggest pop stars. And you said that. And she was obviously kidding. Sarah wasn't being mean, but she's always nice. She was like, you stupid bitch.

[A]

But you did say you liked her sweater. Like, you played it off.

[B]

Well, I said, I loved your sweater, actually. So that's really. That's really, like. I, like, I was saying, like, you look so gorgeous, beautiful, but I was playing cool being. Oh, I love your sweater.

[A]

Right? That's like. I mean, there's so many pop stars that I feel like before they blew up, I didn't know what they looked like.

[B]

Yeah, of course. And this was years ago, so how could you even blame me?

[A]

You can't.

[B]

And I don't even think I had a lot of. Of stuff out. I mean, she probably said she liked like a tick tock video or something. She must have been, because I don't even know if I was doing Hacks or any indie movies at that point.

[A]

I think you were doing Hacks.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Hacks has been around since what, 2020?

[B]

Oh, yeah, I guess. Okay. Yeah. So maybe she saw me on Hacks. Maybe. But either way, if she's listening. I love you and I love your music. I'd love to do a collaboration.

[A]

Have you ever thought doing about a comedy? Have you ever thought doing about doing a comedy album?

[B]

I thought about doing a singing album.

[A]

Okay. Like, dead serious.

[B]

I think that it would be so fun to transition.

[A]

I think it would too.

[B]

Not. Not because I don't want to act or do comedy, but, like, it would be like, I think not like funny songs. I don't think it'd be, like, sexual songs and it would be like pop star songs. And I feel like my dream would be like Addison Rae where it's like, wait, she actually is. That's a bop. But I don't ever want to leave comedy behind. Of course not, but okay. Have I thought about doing a comedy album? Well, the thing is, is my jokes don't always play. The stuff I do on stage doesn't always play for the ear.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

So it's like, if I'm on stage, I'm usually, like, berating an audience member or being like, okay, like, I hated my intro. Can you come up and introduce me? Like an audience member? Yeah. And then I teach them how to intro me. And I just don't know if I think you got to see the visual.

[A]

Okay, how would you see this ass.

[B]

Shaking on stage to get it?

[A]

How would you tell me to intro you?

[B]

So I usually, when I do this bit, I'll bring some up on stage and I will say, like, you have to stand here.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And when I say go, you have to take three steps towards the mic. If you take more steps towards the mic, you might fall off the stage or you might look like you're not supposed to introduce the show and people will be scared you have a weapon. And then I make them do that, like, probably for like 45 minutes. I usually make them do it for like 20 minutes and keep telling them they're doing it wrong. I just don't know if you want to listen to it.

[A]

I would listen to that. Manny, would you listen to that?

[B]

Really, guys? For 20 minutes?

[A]

20. I'd listen to it for an Hour. I told you, you could be four hours late today and I wouldn't care.

[B]

I'm usually making fun of, like, oh, like, you didn't introduce my name right? Or, oh, God, like, you sound like you're about to sing in a musical. Come on, let's get it right. And, like, stuff like. Or there's a bit I do where I make them hold up, like, a poster board of rules for the show. But I keep saying, like, well, your hands are in the way. They're distracting me. Like, you have to get your hands out, cut them off if you don't move them. And you can't really like, hearing that. It's kind of like, ugh, come on.

[A]

No, I don't think so.

[B]

You don't think?

[A]

Okay, I think you should do it.

[B]

I think that I really want to sing.

[A]

I say, I think you should say, I think you could do anything you set your mind to.

[B]

That is so sweet. I. I remember when I wasn't acting, I was in school to be, like, a nurse and a teacher and, like, all these random things.

[A]

No way.

[B]

I was like, I was in nursing classes or teaching classes, and I was, like, talking to my mom, and I was like, what do you think I'm going to do after school? And she was like, we'll be a teacher. And I was like, you don't think I'm going to be an actor? Like, I was, like, still wanting the right. That's why I was like, wait, I need to get out of school and be in an improv class for eight years.

[A]

You. Okay? So where'd you go to school?

[B]

So I didn't finish. I don't have a college degree. Okay. My partner actually says that's really hot about me.

[A]

I think so, too.

[B]

Okay. I think so, too. Well, to me, it's hot to have a college degree, and it's hot to not. It doesn't. It's hard to do what you what? What you do. What It's. It's hot to do what you're meant to be doing, I think, period. And I'm a God girl, so it's hot to, like, do what you feel like God's put you on the earth to do and make people happy.

[A]

What do you feel like God's put you on this earth to do, to model.

[B]

To? I think that comedy makes me so happy and performing in general. I'm not against doing a drama, so I think that when I was in nurs classes and teaching classes, I was like, this isn't for me, but I Want to do something to help people. And now I realize, I think it helps by braiding the audience member just because it does.

[A]

Happy your video of when you do. So for those that don't know, Meg does meet and greets during the show.

[B]

Yes, sometimes. Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

You do meet and greets during the show. And that she just screams at the.

[B]

Audience members because they're doing it wrong.

[A]

They're doing it wrong. So, like, for example, someone will be walking around and go like this.

[B]

Yeah. You'll say, well, so I'll line them up and say one at a time to come on stage and wave at me. But I'm behind a big table because I don't want them close, close to me. Basically, I'm like playing a character the whole time that's like delusional, thinks she's very talented, but she's not. We all know that I am, of course, but the character is not, you know, and people have fun.

[A]

It's so fun.

[B]

People have fun. People love meeting me and. And I'm just kidding. People love. What did God put me on there to do? To say hello, wave at people. Let them see someone that is so beautiful and good at singing and like, it's. No, I loved. I've always loved to perform since I was little. And I think, wait, like that. If I love it that much, I must be meant to do it.

[A]

You are meant to do it.

[B]

I was bad for a long time.

[A]

Really.

[B]

When I first started doing improv, I always thought I was really good. And my friend was like, no, you were like the person that, like, you were like Michael Scott. Like, you were the one that when you come on stage, we'd be like, oh, my God. I felt so, like, I was like. I was like, I'm the funniest person in class.

[A]

Well, that. Wait, when did it switch? Then?

[B]

I. When I was in Chicago, I moved to Chicago to do stand up and improv. And it was like, after maybe like the first two years, I was like, oh, I should just. I was. I felt like I was funny in real life. And I. I felt like I was good in the scenes, but I guess I wasn't. I guess. But I think eventually I started doing on stage what I thought was really funny and not like. And just being my, like, Like, I. I think when I first started doing stand up, I would do jokes. Like, guys, it's crazy that Chuck E. Cheese is selling alcohol. Right? Could you imagine a drunk mom at Chuck E. Cheese? And then I would, like, do it. Yeah, I wanted to do characters right. But instead I learned that you don't have to set it up like that if you don't want to. So you could just come out and do something that you think is funny. I started doing a lot of, like, slideshow presentations.

[A]

I do that too.

[B]

I think they're so fun. I do that too. I love, I love that. I actually remember the first time I did one was the first time I was like, wait. That was like, it was something different than traditional stand up. And I was like, wait, that I could do whatever I want on stage, right? Like, this is what I think is really funny. I didn't think the Chuck E. Cheese joke I told was funny.

[A]

I think, do I think if you just do what God put you on.

[B]

This earth to do, yes, it does make people happy. Not everyone likes my comedy. There's a. Obviously there's a. There's a clip of me online and everyone has ripped it to shreds. It's. It's literally on Reddit, like, as like, fat girl comedian does horrible stand up. It's like, it's literally like, worst bitch in the world.

[A]

Wait, what clip is that?

[B]

Easy. But the thing is, is like, they.

[A]

Just don't get it. They don't get it.

[B]

It's literally like brunette does horrible set. And it's like, years ago I did a set and it was like, I thought it'd be funny to take all the laughs out and make it look like I did, like, really bad.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

And I, I'm like, how could they not tell we did that? Like, it's like several clips of the same people kind of like, not laughing. It's like a different part of the joke where they're not laughing. Like, we edit it like that. And I can't believe people don't realize that.

[A]

I need to see it.

[B]

I'll send it to you, please. Really bad. Wait.

[A]

But no, it's funny.

[B]

Funny. It's really. I don't. The comedy is not bad. It's like my typical, like, oh, I'm like, hi, I'm amazing. Like, but then no one's laughing. So people mostly like straight men, I think, were like, running with that.

[A]

That means you did a good job.

[B]

I think so. I'll send it to you. You'll like it.

[A]

That means you did a good job. When straight men hate something, it means.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

[A]

One time someone told me, I think it was a straight guy, that he wished I was on the top floor in the twin towers during 911 in.

[B]

A comment they said that top four.

[A]

Which means I have no way of.

[B]

Wait, that's crazy. Why would they say that?

[A]

I did a Google Ad that they really didn't like.

[B]

A Google Ad made them say that?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Could you imagine someone with a family text putting that in writing and. Or saying that to anyone and they don't even know you? Right.

[A]

They knew my Google Ad.

[B]

Wait, what was happening in the Google Ad that they were mad about?

[A]

Louise, what was the Google Ad? Yeah, the pixel. Google Pixel.

[B]

Did you, like, say a slur or something?

[A]

No, I like, that is crazy to.

[B]

Be that mad at you.

[A]

I think I was doing, like, a bit. It was like, find out Google has a phone.

[B]

Is it the one where you're in the office, or is that a different one? Okay, I love that.

[A]

What office one? Oh, that's Walmart.

[B]

Oh, okay. Okay. That's one with Paul.

[A]

Paul Briganti directed that.

[B]

Yes. Yes. Okay, I'm thinking of the wrong one, but I'm sure that that one was amazing.

[A]

He told me to tell you that he says hi, but only as an animal memoji.

[B]

Well, at first that was confusing to me, but then I remember he used to send me videos where he'd be saying something serious, but it'd be like, with the animal emoji. It's so funny. Oh, yeah. Guess what? I love him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm saying hi back to him, and I'm saying, please put me back in a movie.

[A]

Yes. You're going on tour. You're in Hacks, and you're in the new Lena Dunham show. Too much.

[B]

Yeah. I'm so excited for that show to come out, and I'm so excited for you to see the new season of Hacks and the political campaign I'm doing on my. My comedy tour.

[A]

What is the polit? Tell me about the political campaign.

[B]

So the show is basically like, if I was running for president and, like, who would be? Basically, it's like, okay, sorry, let me restart. So please cut me stuttering out, please. Okay, so the show is basically, if I was a crazy actor who decided to run for president, who is rich and full of herself, and basically the whole show is being like. The message is like, I want to connect to you guys because I have so much money and you guys don't have pools. And then I sing a lot in it, but I'm not really singing. It's like, me lip singing. It's all about, like, playing, like, a really fake, like, political actor person who also wrote a book called, like, Red, White, and Blue Balls.

[A]

Like, that is going to be awesome. Have you written the show, or are you just, like, getting up there and doing it?

[B]

I just did it at the Largo, and I had so much fun. And. Yeah, there's a fog machine.

[A]

There's a fog machine.

[B]

It's really, like, lo fi. Like. Like, it's. If. If, like, an actor truly had to, like, do a campaign rally tonight, like, like, put it all together and, like, I talk about who I would have on, like, in my cabinet, and, like. Like. And it's, like, family members and.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, it's. There's slideshow, there's music.

[A]

When is your first date outside of the Largo?

[B]

Oh, my God. It's, like, in two weeks, but I can't remember the date. I think the first show is in Toronto. Oh, whoa. Okay. There might be one sooner that we don't have up, though.

[A]

I want to go.

[B]

I. I really want to do it in LA again, because I want to go. Please. But you're going on tour.

[A]

I know.

[B]

What is your Favorite first date?

[A]

February 28th.

[B]

Why didn't you ask me to go with you?

[A]

Well, do you want to?

[B]

I cancel my. What if we do a night where we switch? I do your show, you do mine.

[A]

Should we.

[B]

And then you have to wear the blue skirt suit.

[A]

I wear happily.

[B]

I try to do my hair like. Like a crazy. Like, I was. I was, like, googling, like, politician hair. And then I just put a bunch of curls in it and, like, pinned it up, and it looked like a Pentecostal woman.

[A]

Like, Sarah palette.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I wish it looked more like that.

[A]

Whatever happened to her?

[B]

Where are the. Sometimes I mix her up with Tina Fey. I actually see that, because when you just said Sarah Palin, I was like, oh, yeah, Tina Fey.

[A]

Like, Tina Fey used to play her on snl.

[B]

But I pictured Tina Fey, like, right. Yeah. Where is she?

[A]

Didn't she, like, say she could see something from her house? Wasn't that Sarah Palin's whole bit? Oh, she could see Russia.

[B]

That's what she said. Why did she say that? Where is her house in Russia?

[A]

Alaska.

[B]

Why is she saying that? Why? Why? First of all, don't give away where you live. Literally, a close friend could be like, where do you live again? And I'll be like, in la, of course. Yeah. Right up the hill. Like, I don't want anyone. I don't ever tell where I live.

[A]

I was talking to this guy from the other day, and.

[B]

In a sexual way a little.

[A]

And he. He asked me where I live, and something about it just, like, told me him, like, maybe I shouldn't. So I was like, you know, I live in, like, this vicinity of Los Angeles. And then I didn't respond to him for a day, and I knew my gut was right, because. Let me read, you know, where's my can? I want to read you what he said to me when you grab me my phone. Okay. Ready for WhatsApp? Yeah, because it was WhatsApp. So we met on Grindr, and he.

[B]

Said, okay, so that is a sexual way.

[A]

He said, because I. He called me six times.

[B]

Oh, that's scary. I'm glad he doesn't know where you live.

[A]

And then he said. I didn't respond, and he said, typical gay. Loves the conversation until you don't.

[B]

Well, it seems like you do, first of all, because you guys didn't meet yet, right?

[A]

No. And now I'm scared of him.

[B]

Well, doesn't that even though you're absolutely incredible, you deserve all the numbers off Grindr and in any number you ever want. Wait, I don't understand. Why. Why is he acting like that?

[A]

How crazy.

[B]

He never met you.

[A]

But then he called me blackout drunk, screaming at his Uber driver.

[B]

Oh, hot.

[A]

You think?

[B]

No, absolutely not. Not hot at all. Opposite of hot to yell at someone. Ew. What was he yelling? Right here. Right here, Love.

[A]

No, the Uber driver was like, where do you want to get dropped off? And he was like, I don't know.

[B]

That is so gross.

[A]

It was so gross.

[B]

It's really a turn off for to be drunk like that and yelling at someone.

[A]

Yeah, it was just gross.

[B]

I, I. When I used to date men, I feel like that would be the vibe sometimes. Like, anger. Anger after nothing. Fury.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's switching up on a dime. Yeah, that's. That is like straight men, but it seems like also gay men that's just met. Yeah, men. Men in general, but not you. And there's some. I like to say some men are goddesses. Who you? My brother.

[A]

Your brother?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How old?

[B]

He's like 26.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you think what you do is really cool?

[B]

No. Oh, no, I'm kidding.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, no. He does. He. I, I used to do a podcast with him.

[A]

Did you really?

[B]

Yeah. And it was called Confronting Demons with Megan Salter. And it actually was really fun. He's so funny. You know, I love doing it, but it was. It was getting hard, I think, with schedule, and I think, like, it was getting hard because at the time we were doing it, we lived together because it was like, during the pandemic but then, like, when we left, it's, like, the time difference. It's hard to, like, schedule. It's hard to schedule in Ohio. So he's a tattoo artist. Him and my dad are.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

So I have tattoos from them, and so it's hard to. For a tattoo artist to do a podcast. I got that, I guess. Unless they want to do it on the weekends. No, no, he works on the weekends, but Voodoo monkey tattoo in Cleveland, if you're ever there.

[A]

Voodoo monkey tattoo in Cleveland. Done.

[B]

Tattoo sales spiking right now.

[A]

All up the water.

[B]

They actually are really a famous tattoo place in Cleveland. Like, they've won, like, so many awards.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I love to brag about them.

[A]

What tattoo do you have from him?

[B]

Well, this one says cunt. Just kidding.

[A]

Oh, where?

[B]

No, I'm kidding. I don't. I know. Could you imagine I'm lying? No, no. They're up here. So there. This says, baby, I'm a star. People think it's from a song, but it's not.

[A]

It's just you.

[B]

And then this is a bee with a wolf head, and my sister has it.

[A]

Oh, that's sick.

[B]

My brother did the star, and then my dad did those. And then I have this, like, bunny rabbit with a. A red hat. I did a commercial for something before.

[A]

What?

[B]

In the commercial, it was me and.

[A]

Oh, no way.

[B]

So it was me and him during our little part of the commercial.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I will say, and I'm not saying anything bad, he did keep falling asleep.

[A]

What?

[B]

During. During the shoot. And I. He's a dad. I don't blame him.

[A]

He kept falling asleep.

[B]

He was fully asleep. Like, I don't think. I think we did get his lines, but, like, towards the end of the day, he was like. Or like, Yeah, I was like, the. Every part on the couch when he was standing, he wasn't asleep, but when we were on the couch together, he was asleep, like, almost the entire time. And I love him. I think that's so funny.

[A]

Well, he was just, like, dead asleep.

[B]

Yeah. They'd be like, okay. Like, they'd have to wake him up. And I don't blame him. He's tired. He's a dad, and I do not blame him. Like, I'm like, that is so funny to fall asleep on the shoot again and again. And also, it was a long day. I can't blame him.

[A]

Did he say, like, sorry?

[B]

No. And I love that. It's confident. He's like, I'm sleeping, probably. He's thinking, who cares?

[A]

Who does care? He's.

[B]

I definitely, like, in between scenes will go, like, rest, but, like, it was in the middle of the scene. Like, it'd be, like, my coverage. Not. No, no. He wouldn't sleep while the camera was on. But in between. Well, there was some sleepy takes, but I would say he wasn't being rude to me. He was literally just so tired, he was sleepy. So I'm like. I wonder if, like, something happened with the footage.

[A]

Wait, you should get it. You've never even seen it. No, your manager definitely has it.

[B]

I have weird pictures of me, like, holding up UberEats bags, though.

[A]

Do you actually like weird pictures?

[B]

I can send you.

[A]

I want them, but I'm like, these.

[B]

Are weird now because, like, I. Please hire me again. I mean, come on.

[A]

They will. You know what I'm looking at? I can't stop looking at. Because I was thinking about how I don't like mine. You have an amazing nose.

[B]

Why would you say that about yours? I love your nose.

[A]

No, it's fine. Your nose is amazing.

[B]

That is so nice. I love that you're saying that. Well, my. I had a friend that used to say I had a movie star nose.

[A]

You do have a movie star nose.

[B]

No, but that's not my statement.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Because I think that every nose is a movie star nose because I like, like, different, unique noses. So I. That's not my statement. Please.

[A]

Well, my nose used to be perfect, and then I was perfect. I was at Arnold in Cape Cod, which is a lobster place, when I was six years old, and I fell off a tree.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

And so I have a bump from that.

[B]

I have a little tiny bump on my. But I like it because I. I love how different and unique people look. So I like a different nose.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, to me, I never really thought about my nose being like that. The first time anyone said that I had a good nose was that my. That friend that said, I have a movie star knows. And I thought it was cute. She said that. But I loved her nose. Like. Like, I like when people look different in any way. Like, I think it is interesting that, like, people all get the same face. Now.

[A]

That is true. Work done. Have you.

[B]

No.

[A]

Never. I've never done.

[B]

But I still think if that makes someone happy. I used to be like. I used to be like, I'll never get anything done because I want to have the opportunity to see the way I look when I get older, which is how I feel. But I think I might have used to think, like, why do people do that. And now I'm like, if it makes them happy, it's like, okay. Like, I think they're beautiful before and now.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I still think, like, if I got work done when I get older, won't I wonder, like, what would I have looked like? I'm serious. I always felt like that, so.

[A]

That's so true. Because I want to face lips so badly when I turn 40.

[B]

What? No. Again, not judging anyone that wants that, because I want people to be happy with themselves, ourselves. But God made us so beautiful and different. I, like, think it's so unique and, like, I love everyone's nose. Everyone has a movie star nose.

[A]

Oh, thanks.

[B]

You have a beautiful nose. I've never thought, ever. You can't see the bump. I don't know what you're talking about. I. I literally have the same thing. I like it.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

I really do.

[A]

All of this goes to say what I was therapist. What I'm therapist about is that I do have a deviated septum.

[B]

Does it bother you?

[A]

Closed. Okay. So basically what happens sometimes is, like, I was just talking to you.

[B]

Can't see it, though, at all, by.

[A]

The way, but I was just talking to you. And like, it. Like something closed up here. And then, like, it felt like an. Like a. Like an echo in my ear. And like.

[B]

Oh, my God. Okay, well, that hurts.

[A]

Almost.

[B]

Okay, so I'm therapist about that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't want you to be uncomfortable. No.

[A]

And, like, I. I want to get it taken away. I'm not gonna get a nose job if I do. I just like it. Like, it just happened again.

[B]

That's why I thought you were saying, like, it looks like you could tell. I'm like, you can't, though.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

You were saying the thing about you didn't like your nose.

[A]

No, I was just thinking about my deviated septic, which had me thinking about my.

[B]

Well, that does. People should medically get things that help them.

[A]

Want to know something weird, though? I went to the ear, nose, and throat doctor. It's literally happening right now. And. And he said, you don't have a deviated septum. I know. He's lying.

[B]

Like, what does he mean by that? Why is he saying that?

[A]

He lied to my face.

[B]

What?

[A]

Isn't that crazy?

[B]

He, like, didn't want to do it or something.

[A]

I don't know. Like, I just.

[B]

He was phoning it in that day.

[A]

He was. I was. He was. No, you don't have one. I feel it. I know I have one.

[B]

That's so Crazy. Did you say that to him?

[A]

I was like, what? I. I feel like I have one. He's like, you don't.

[B]

Maybe. It's so slight.

[A]

It hurts so bad.

[B]

Wait, it hurts all the time.

[A]

It's like. It, like, clogs right there. And then I, like, hear a vibration in my ear.

[B]

Oh, my God. Maybe it's something with your ears getting clogged, though. I don't think. I don't do too much to my ears, but I think some people have, like, a problem with your ears getting, like, stopped up.

[A]

I think I do.

[B]

Wait, so maybe that's why.

[A]

Yeah, it always gets clogged up on airplanes, but.

[B]

Okay, I. My ears pop really bad on the air.

[A]

Really? One time, they popped so bad that I started crying, and all the flight attendants had to help me.

[B]

So, so sweet.

[A]

Yeah, they had to give me tea to put in my ear.

[B]

Did it help?

[A]

Nope. And, oh, my God, I walked. I had it layover in Amsterdam, and I walked around Amsterdam, the airport, crying. And they didn't have any iced coffee or any good food, just. And I was so upset.

[B]

Were you sick that day? Because mine really hurt on the plane. If I'm sick, I was sick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mine didn't pop for a full day once.

[A]

See, Like, I would have had it.

[B]

Panicking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, I'll never be able to hear.

[A]

That's what I thought. And then finally, when it pops, it's like you're, like, orgasming and nobody really cares.

[B]

Like. Like every time I was complaining, like, people are like, okay. Like, yeah, you're okay. But it's like, no, it actually feels. It's hurt so bad, and I think it just is like, oh, well, they'll pop eventually. Like, people don't. Like. Like, I care, because I know what the feeling is.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If you don't get it, people don't. Like, they're like, okay, you're fine.

[A]

You know what I always think about when cleaning ears? Have you ever seen that episode of Girls where Hannah has an OCD attack and has to.

[B]

Oh, my God, it's so scary.

[A]

It's so scary.

[B]

I'm so. I don't use those in my ears.

[A]

Neither do I. Because of that episode. What was it like working with Lena Dunham?

[B]

I love her. She's so funny.

[A]

She's my idol.

[B]

She's literally so incredible and so good at her job, and she's so funny and sweet. Like, I just really loved working with her, and I just think she is the best writer. Like, she's such a Good director. And I just had the best time. I can't wait to see her again.

[A]

Oh, she's awesome. Is she just as funny in person?

[B]

She's so funny. She's literally like, how you imagine her. She's. She's like, the good parts of Hannah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She and the character I play is kind of a mix of me and her.

[A]

And it takes place in London, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I'm so excited.

[B]

I'm really excited.

[A]

It's on Netflix.

[B]

It's on Netflix.

[A]

And it's called Too Much.

[B]

Yeah. Do you know sex scenes?

[A]

We really.

[B]

Yeah. But no full nudity.

[A]

No full nudity from me. Okay. I have always thought about if I were to do a sex scene, like, yeah. I don't know how I. Like, what was it like?

[B]

It was like, I feel like they try to give you a lot of privacy.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so. But then sometimes that makes it funny. Like, it's so good that they do. But, like, I just remember this one scene where we were in the. Oh, I'm not. It's not giving any spoilers, but there's just a sex scene, and I was in the bedroom with the person.

[A]

And.

[B]

And, like, they were like, right. When we say go, we'll swing the door open and the camera will come. Like, we'll shoot it. And so. But the way the door swung open, it's like. Like, so funny and awkward. Like, it's just really, like. It was just such a quick scene, but it's like being in a room alone, and then all of a sudden, the door swinging open and you see a camera. It's, like, so funny. And I just couldn't stop laughing during that scene.

[A]

Is it. Do you laugh on in the show?

[B]

No, they got. They got. They got the shot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Definitely was like, so it's just so funny because, like, there's a camera there that says so. It just says so. Like, sex scenes are so funny because it's so not.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Real or sexual or anything at all.

[A]

Right. Well, I learned that actually when I lost my virginity.

[B]

You learned that? It's not.

[A]

It wasn't like the movies.

[B]

Oh, but, But. But do you feel like the first time's never like the movies? It's the first time it's very scary. And then it's with someone older. That's probably, like, experience. So they probably maybe didn't handle it as well. Like, so that could be very scary. But I think they're. When you're in love and, like, it could be like, the movies or better, but.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. The first time is never like that unless it's your wedding night. And I think even then would be. I don't know why I said that, because I'm like, wait, what? The wedding night would be so scary and awkward.

[A]

Where do you want to get married?

[B]

I saw a beautiful tick tock the other day of someone getting married under a waterfall. And I was like, that would. I. I always joke that I want to come down. Have you seen that video of, like, this bride coming down on, like, a parasol? Is that what it is? No. So it's like.

[A]

So, yes, that is what it is.

[B]

But I've never seen it. So she's on a parasol and there's tons of balloons around her, and she's coming down into the wedding. And I always joke, I'm gonna do that.

[A]

That'd be awesome.

[B]

But no jokes on the wedding day.

[A]

No. A parasail. They're like parasailing.

[B]

Maybe I'm getting the video. She's on some device where she's flying down. I. I think I want to have an outside wedding.

[A]

An outside.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, but. Okay, so I once went to a wedding that was an outside wedding and it rained.

[B]

See? That is. Maybe I go somewhere where there's never rain.

[A]

Yeah, we thought there was never rain.

[B]

I know, exactly. And there was, I think, wherever, maybe somewhere else so special, like. Oh, like, you know, I think it. I haven't really. I just. When I imagine the wedding day, I just imagine the person. It's beautiful. And I sometimes imagine what my hair will look like.

[A]

What do you think your hair is?

[B]

And I imagine what, like, my person will wear, what my partner will wear.

[A]

What do you. What?

[B]

She's so hot. And so I. So I think, like, I can imagine, like, I used to imagine, like, my hair on my weddings. Like, really big. Like, classic Priscilla hair. But now I'm thinking maybe a little smaller Priscilla hair.

[A]

I think that'll look amazing.

[B]

Thank you. But also, it gives me a lot of hype, probably. And I. I definitely want to be high, but I'm like, am I also gonna wear heels? You know?

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I'm like, I don't want to be the. I. I love being tall, but the tallest woman in the world. I mean, I. I don't know. It depends on the shoes, I guess. Right.

[A]

I wish I could be taller.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because I just feel so short.

[B]

I feel like you're the perfect height, perfect nose, perfect height. Oh, Meg, how tall do you want to be? Seven foot five?

[A]

Six? Five, seven.

[B]

Okay. Can't You. You could get there with just shoes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Then it's like I take them off, and it's like, oh, whoa.

[B]

Well, you know, a lot of actors are really, like, shorter.

[A]

Bruno Mars is really short.

[B]

Like, some times people have to be on a box next to me.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I'm not that tall, but, like, not that tall. Like, I'm, like, five, seven and a half.

[A]

That's, like, what I want to be.

[B]

Well, I. I just feel like everyone is so unique and perfect except for ugly people.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it is almost Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas out there. This is Peyton and I's first mother's Day as mamas with our babies, Justin and Bradley. We are so in love with them, and it's just a real reminder that mothers everywhere deserve the best. Without my mom, I would not be who I am. She taught me how to write. She taught me how to gossip. She taught me how to be funny in a smart way. She really is the best. And, mom, I love you so much. And if you still have not gotten your mom or a mom in your life a gift for Mother's Day, Cozy Earth's bamboo pajamas are literally perfect. You guys know how much I love pajamas. My mom loves pajamas, too. And cozy Earth really makes the most comfortable pajamas. I found out about cozy Earth, actually, when I started getting their sheets for my bed, their bamboo sheets for my bed. And then I realized that they make bamboo pajamas, which is just basically like, I'm living in my sheets. So who wouldn't love that? It really is the perfect gift for Mother's Day. It is the perfect gift to just lounge with your mom or a mother figure in your life. I had no idea when I first started buying their sheets that they had such incredible loungewear and pajamas, and they really just have everything, and it's so comfortable. I mean, I feel like, inherently, if a brand that makes sheets also makes clothes, you can expect those clothes to be extremely comfortable. In this case, they are. Whether you're celebrating a mom, remembering a mom longing to be a mom, or navigating motherhood in an unexpected way, moms deserve the best. And you guys know I love a discount code. This Mother's Day, get 40% off your [e-mail] with my code jake. And they're doing a bogo sale. Buy one, get one. So you can use my code Jake Bogo to get one pair of bamboo pajamas and then get another pair free first over mother's Day, you and a mom or a mother figure in your life can be twinning. I obviously know what I'm getting Peyton to celebrate our first Mother's Day. I hope she has the same idea for me. But once Again, go to cozy earth.com and use code Jake for 40% off or code Jake Bogo for buy one, get one bamboo pajamas. Thank you so much Cozy Earth for sponsoring today's episode. And a happy Mother's Day to everyone out there. If you're loving, remembering, or longing to be a mom, we are here for you and we love you. This episode of Therapists is brought to you by booking.combooking. yeah. Oh my God. That one was a little more singing than usual. Booking.com is my go to for booking any vacation needs, especially when I'm on tour. We literally, as you guys know, show up to a city and don't have anything booked. But we always go on booking.com and we can put in exactly what we need. If we want a terrace, if we want walkability, which obviously I need because I do not drive and I like to move my feet while I'm on tour because most of the time I'm just sitting. But I've been using booking.com especially recently because I'm trying to book summer travels, which I'm. I don't usually do. I'm like doing it as an adult for the first time. I usually get a lot of help with it, but for the first time I'm kind of doing it on my own. And so I went to booking.com I put in exactly where I'm going, exactly what I'm looking for. And they listed out a bunch of hotels or vacation rentals. They also offer that, that offered exactly what I need. It really just takes the stress out of traveling, at least for me. And I, as you guys know, I'm the worst traveler ever. So anything to make me feel better, I. I would love. And as I said, like this sponsorship couldn't have come at a better time because we used it all throughout tour and now I'm using it for my summer. You can also book like things to make a full rounded vacation. Like as I said, you can do vacation rentals. You can book a car. Like there's so many things that Booking.com can help you with to make sure that you are getting the most out of your trip. It just takes away all the worry of not finding a perfect hotel because they will always find one that's just right for you in your price range. What you need. It really is just the best find exactly what you're booking [e-mail]. booking. Yeah. Thank you again, booking.com for sponsoring tonight's episode.

[B]

Like. Like, okay, sometimes people will send me, like, a really crazy video and be like, this is you. Like. Or, like, do this. You know? So when someone sends me something, like, they think this is, like, my character.

[A]

So. Who has someone sent you that? You're like.

[B]

It'll be literally like a woman in a courtroom, like, screaming or something. And it'll be like, this is so Meg Stalter. I'm like, guys, I'm not really like that, though. You're talking about my videos, right? People think I'm like, Kayla.

[A]

Kayla is my favorite character on television.

[B]

That is so nice. You mean it?

[A]

Yeah, I mean it. Kayla is the funniest character on tv. Okay. So I watched this episode of Girls, and I was like, fudge. That's something I would do. Hannah has a book deal and. And the publisher dies.

[B]

Jenny Slate.

[A]

Yeah, the publisher dies. And. Oh, yeah, that.

[B]

It was bad.

[A]

Like, at the funeral, being, like, shopping her book.

[B]

Oh, sorry, not Jenny Slate. You're talking about her. Yes, yes.

[A]

The guy.

[B]

She has book. And she's like, well, what happens to my book? I thought you were talking about how that she's, like, really angry at Jenny Slate's character. She has it all and her boyfriend dies, and she's like, well, cool. You have this cool book.

[A]

Yes, yes. She's like. And then everyone's like, you're such a narcissist, Hannah.

[B]

You're right. That was funny and bad that she.

[A]

I would have done that.

[B]

Did that. Like, what. What's going on with my book?

[A]

Yeah, I understood her. I was like, well, what's she supposed to do? She was really relying on this book.

[B]

It is like. Like, people are like. Like, Lena's so good at making real people and, like, being able to show bad people, but the good side of them, too. Like. Like, Lena wouldn't act like that, but I'm sure she knows people that would.

[A]

Right. But it's also. I think what's so good about her is, like, those are, like, very real feelings that everyone's just being honest. Everyone's ashamed to feel. And everyone's ashamed to say, you are so right.

[B]

Because, like, that is a lot of people's first thought, but they wouldn't say it out loud.

[A]

Yeah, but Lena says it out loud.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's why it's so true.

[B]

Like, you would think there would be at least one point in the day if you weren't Close to that person to be like, wait, what's going.

[A]

What's up with my book deal? Really and truly.

[B]

No, I wouldn't go to the funeral.

[A]

And say, no, I wouldn't go to. But obviously, it's television. It's exaggerating.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly.

[A]

But like, that Hannah, like, her. I just. I love Hannah.

[B]

I probably would relate to her. I think I'm probably a combo. But I would say, like, Hannah is not the worst one.

[A]

Who do you think the word. Marnie.

[B]

I mean, but.

[A]

Or Jessa. Jessa. So selfish.

[B]

The Adam and Jessa.

[A]

I forgot the Adam and Jessa thing. And also when she makes them pick her up from Rehab, which is my favorite Girls episode of all time.

[B]

Oh, my God, it's so good. I also didn't like that. I. To be honest. Like, I love Shoshana, but I actually didn't like that.

[A]

How it ended.

[B]

I didn't like her little attitude at the end.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Neither did I like how the show ended because, like, that's real life. But, like, I actually felt like she was really, like. I liked how they did her.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, the writing of it. But I. In. If it was real life, I would be mad at Shoshana for being, like, at the end, like, kind of abandoning them and being like, I think she's.

[A]

Better than them, and not inviting Hannah to her engagement party.

[B]

Jessa and Hannah made up in the end.

[A]

That was a really beautiful scene.

[B]

That was so. And they actually hurt each other. And Shoshana is acting like she's better than everybody else. Of course. Love, love, love the actor, love the writing, love how they told that story. Like, it shouldn't have ended any other way. But, like, wouldn't you be mad?

[A]

I'd be furious. I'd be so mad. If I was Lena or if I was Hannah, I'd be so bad. I actually really liked the final Girls episode.

[B]

I know. Me too.

[A]

A lot of people give it slack, but I thought it was great because it was like, Hannah's entering her next stage of life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But she's still Hannah.

[B]

Why do they not like it?

[A]

Because there it's. It doesn't. Like the episode nine closes it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then episode ten reopens it. But it's.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

It's smart what she did.

[B]

People didn't like that.

[A]

She was like, well, people want more. And people are like, oh, wait, well, what's happened? This isn't a season finale.

[B]

Leave them one more. Oh, I see. Because it could have been another, like.

[A]

Yeah. Another show.

[B]

Yeah. With that's life.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. She's trying to get the baby to latch. Yeah.

[B]

I loved that Marnie ended up helping her, too. Like, they're so. I. I think that people, like, get annoyed by Marnie, but she's so funny to me.

[A]

She is funny.

[B]

I mean, the Kanye west song.

[A]

The Kanye west song. The desi. Marriage.

[B]

Oh, my God. One of my favorite lines ever is when he's like, open your heart to me, Bella.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, you. Oh, I love that show. Did you watch that show before too much? Like, were you.

[B]

Oh, I watched it, like, when it was coming out, like, literally. Like, I guess I'd be like, 21 or something.

[A]

Oh, did it hit different?

[B]

It was like, oh, my God. Like, I was like. I probably was, like, 21, 22. And I felt like it was like I was nervous that my mom would see me watching it or something because of the sex.

[A]

Like, I was like, you were 21.

[B]

Yeah, but I was still actually living at home.

[A]

No, I mean, I was also at home, like, when I was in college, during that. But I wouldn't have been, like, nervous.

[B]

You mean, like, if my parents. Was I nervous? I literally. You were a full fledged adult with her. Like, I don't know why. I think it was something different about the sex scenes on girls that felt so real.

[A]

They were really.

[B]

I think that's why. Yeah.

[A]

You know what? I actually. I'm gonna validate you. If my parents walked in on me.

[B]

Yeah. Those sex scenes were different than Sex in the City, but they were just like. They were, like, raw and, like, real. They seemed like I was actually, like, seeing something that I've never seen before or something.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

And I think that's why. But I did live at home, like, later than most people, I think.

[A]

When did you move out?

[B]

Like, 23.

[A]

Okay, so I don't know if you'll count this, but, like, that's kind of technically when I moved out. I moved out when I was 20.

[B]

I don't get people moving out when they're 18.

[A]

No, like, I went to college, but, like, when I left college, like, I went home and I lived at home for summer and winter and then covet. I was at home. I was like, you know, I was living at home.

[B]

Oh, I forgot to tell you. You asked what school I went to when I started.

[A]

You never told me.

[B]

I went to, like, community college. I was, like, paying for it myself, so I'm like, I don't have the money to move out. And also, like, I Helped my mom a lot, like, babysitting my siblings. Like, I just. Like, I didn't have money saved, and I was paying for school and I was in. I also did, like, church missions work.

[A]

Wait, so you're, like, really a child of God?

[B]

I'm a child of God.

[A]

Wait, what do you mean, church mission work?

[B]

So it'd be. So there's something called ywam, Youth with a mission. And it's basically like, they have centers all around the world, and you go there in different. You could go like, oh, I'm doing ywam in. In Boston. I'm gonna spend three months in Boston, and we're gonna travel for three months. So I did mine in Peru. So it's like three months in one section of Peru. And then we traveled all around for three months, and we did, like, Christian dances.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

So, like, we would, like, memorize a couple Christian dances or, like, Christian, like, little dramas. Like. Like the. So we'll do them at the church. It's like we're guests at their church, so, like, run a service and we'll, like, do the dance. And to be honest, like, it was such a powerful dance. Like, I really would, like, tear up. Okay. So it'd be like, some of us are dressed as angels, some of us are dressed as demons. They're playing this, like, really intense music, and we're, like, doing this, like, wild, like. Like, dance that it's, like, interpreted and it's perform for, like, the church. So they'd be so excited. We were there. Different churches all around. Like, Olivia, how was Peru? It was so fun and, like, life changing to be somewhere where, like, you were just focused on, like, something bigger than yourself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, did we do. I feel like I helped people. Like, I think I made friends and I shared the love I have for God. But, like, missions are funny because, like, my first missions trip was in Costa Rica, and half of it was, like, a vacation. I was like, a teenager, and I was like, I loved our pastor. Like, he's amazing. Like, I didn't think anyone had bad intentions, but I did feel like this. It does feel like we're not. It's a little bit weird. We, like, raise money and, like, there is, like, I know they have good intentions, but sometimes it can be like, what's bad is if you go and you think, like, I'm gonna be, like, the savior and, like. But actually they helped us way more than we helped them just by, like, seeing, like, the world so much bigger. I mean, I was a teenager And I think going and, like, spending time with people that live in a different place is important for you, but I'm not. We didn't go and, like, change people's lives. We went and visited churches, and, like, I think it is life changing if you. What's life changing is if you're talking to your friend who, like, needs something, like, spiritually that they're not getting, and you're sharing your experience with God. I think that's really important. Like, going to a church and, like, performing the dance. It's more so, like, community than, like, that you're actually, like, changing their lives. Like, you're not. You're not a white savior going there to help.

[A]

Okay, you want to get into the tell me what's wrongs? Yeah, I think you're gonna be really good at that.

[B]

Oh, I'm excited.

[A]

I'm really excited too. My best friend was sleeping with an older guy, and we were all like, okay, yes. But then we were over. But then we were over at one of my family functions, and my aunt wanted to interview. Introduce her new boyfriend slash future fiance. And when he came my best. When he came in, my best friend gasped because it was him. We don't know what we should do. Should we tell my aunt? Please help. Plus love you so much.

[B]

I think that you should tell your aunt because you got to be a girl's girl.

[A]

But it says my best friend was sleeping with an older guy.

[B]

Oh, well, is. And it's a new boyfriend.

[A]

I feel like she should actually. Yeah, she probably should be like, yo.

[B]

Like, how young is it again? How young's the age difference?

[A]

No, no, we don't know.

[B]

Well, that's important because if it's 18 and 64.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then if it's 35, 40.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it seems like that would be a different age difference because the. The aunt probably wouldn't date someone that much younger than her.

[A]

Can I take a guess as to the age?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm thinking, like, this group of people is 25, definitely. And is, like, late 30s. 40.

[B]

Really? That's a young aunt. Still mid-40s, I think. Too young. You think? You think late 30s is.

[A]

Maybe it's late 40s.

[B]

Look, here's some context. I'm 35. No, wait, am I 34? Sometimes you forget exactly your age. 34. Sorry. Yeah. I'll be 35 this year. So you're saying the ants about my age. Do I look like an antia?

[A]

When's your birthday?

[B]

September 15th. So I'll be 35.

[A]

So you're Virgo?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's awesome.

[B]

Do you feel like I act like a Virgo? What do you think I act like.

[A]

The Scorpio?

[B]

Do you?

[A]

I'm a Scorpio.

[B]

I love Scorpios.

[A]

Scorpios and Virgos get along so well.

[B]

It makes so much sense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So different in like the best way.

[A]

Do you like to control things?

[B]

I like, I think like, I like to. With. With like career stuff. I like, I think being in charge. So then in relationship, I like. I like someone being the. Like you. You be taking care of me.

[A]

That's what I like.

[B]

I like taking care of people a lot. I. So it's actually nice to have someone to take care of me because I am a nurturer, oldest daughter.

[A]

Oh, your oldest daughter.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm naturally trying to take care of everyone. El. So it's nice to have someone in a partner to be kind of like the leader 100. Do you like to be in control?

[A]

In my career, yeah. In my relationship now. So I'm the same.

[B]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[A]

Like, I like to be in control of everything outside of sex and love.

[B]

Yeah. It's so sweet to like. Yeah, I get that because I think.

[A]

It'S like, I want to feel like, so wanted that. Like I don't want someone to. I want someone to be. Want me so bad that they, like, want to control me.

[B]

I don't. That is. Oh, wait, you and Katy Perry were talking about Scorpio and Virgos being good together.

[A]

We were.

[B]

I think one of you said like, oh, I think you said maybe that Scorpio and Virgo is good because the Scorpio's like, this is how I do it. And then Virgo's like, but this is how it's done. Or something like that.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Is it coming back to you? Wait, so you. I think, to be honest, if I was the aunt, I would probably want them to tell me.

[A]

Yeah, I would want to know.

[B]

Yeah. So in a fun, casual way, it doesn't have to be like, sit down, we have to talk about this. Your new boyfriend. Disgusting pervert. Yeah, but I would want to know, I think if the person was 25, like, I'm okay about the like, oh, if I was dating someone, it's like, oh, they actually dated someone. 25, who cares, right? 25. Who cares? 21 or 19.

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

But like 21. I. If a third year old's dating a 21 year old. Okay.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But if a 64 year old is dating a 21 year old. That's weird. That's weird, right? It all depends, right? But after 25, I think you could date, Right?

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

So you're saying tell?

[A]

I think tell. Just be like, I fucked him.

[B]

Oh, oh, you think that. I think the person should go and they. I think that he was dating one of my friends.

[A]

Yeah. Or that that's the.

[B]

Is giving them an image that. That might never leave their mind. But what if we left it open.

[A]

Ended, like they were dated. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But also, I'm not gonna say no because, like, maybe you should say crass like that.

[A]

Yeah. You know what I prescribe?

[B]

What?

[A]

You ever watch Pretty Little Liars?

[B]

No, I actually didn't watch that.

[A]

So Aria dates her teacher and there's the scene where she walks in and gasps because he's her teacher and they already hooked up.

[B]

So watching that just like, is a vibe to.

[A]

Yeah. My best friend slash roommate's boyfriend is a narcissist. He also lives with us. I'm moving out in a couple of weeks, but I've just seen her slowly become less and less herself because of how he treats her. He is very controlling and pushes her away from me and our friend group. Should I tell her that I think he has a narcissist and that she should run? She knows.

[B]

Okay. There. It's all in the end. She knows.

[A]

She knows.

[B]

Or does it say that she knows in there? No, but I'm sorry, you add she knows. Okay. Yeah, that's what I agree.

[A]

Yeah, she knows.

[B]

If you want to say friends, just like, you can't really get that involved. Right.

[A]

Yeah, I. My mom always taught me not to get involved in other people's relationships because.

[B]

You actually might think that person's controlling. There might be a whole other information that you don't know. There could be literally like, oh, well, this person is controlling because this, this and this and like, that's something they're working on and you don't have any idea.

[A]

Right. And then it's just like, awkward.

[B]

But it's also like, what is controlling? Is it you've been locked in your room and you can't leave for a day.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or is it like, oh, like, do you think you should change your sweater because we're going to parent, like dinner with my parents, you know? And that's like, annoying. But it's not like you leave the person. You're like, like, hey, don't tell me what to wear.

[A]

I think that your friend knows.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whatever is going on and they just need to figure it out.

[B]

Because you can't. You. If you're being controlled, even though it's easy to, like, have the love goggles on, on some level, you probably know how you want to be treated and eventually you make a decision. Right. I don't think of the friend is going to be like, your boyfriend's controlling and she's like, wait, what?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Are you serious? Like, there's no way. You have to just be there for your friend when your friends.

[A]

Right. Like, don't stop being there.

[B]

You don't stop being in there.

[A]

You don't.

[B]

And if it's abusive. Well, yeah, hello. You know, I'll just talk to my friend. Like that.

[A]

Yeah. Jake. I am literally obsessed with my boyfriend's ex from high school. Oh. I don't know her, but I consistently find myself stalking her on social media. He gives me no reason to worry, but I can't help it. I think a part of it is that I don't have an ax help.

[B]

Okay, Well, I prescribe getting a hobby because. Well, first of all, we don't know how old these people are. They could be just out of high school or they could be literally like, 25. Right.

[A]

But still, that's a lot.

[B]

Everyone's 25. But it's still a lot.

[A]

Everyone's 25.

[B]

But the thing is, is, like, who cares? People stay best friends with their exes.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

It's not that. It's like, that person's not with that person. They're with you. So, like, there's nothing to worry about. It's not about the ex. It's more about, like, if you're really secure in your relationship, literally your partner could be going out to dinner with their ex and you not care if you are feeling like you trust that person.

[A]

Do you think we have a different outlook on it because we're gay?

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if the straight person. Yeah, I do think we have a different outlook on it because I think gay people say friends more often. I mean, they're really close to their exes. They go on vacation with them. Like, yeah, it's. But straight people, there's a different culture there. Yeah, you're right. But I'm confused. Does it sound like the boyfriend was still seeing the ex?

[A]

No, she's just, like, obsessed with their.

[B]

Just. Just don't look.

[A]

I know what to prescribe.

[B]

What?

[A]

Obsessed by Olivia Rodrigo.

[B]

Yeah. That's good, right?

[A]

It was good. Yeah.

[B]

I also prescribe not looking at the social media.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, blocking them.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Just block them. Even though it's a little bit like. Kind of like, what if. But who cares if they see that you've been blocked? I think part of it's like, okay, you don't want that person to be like, why did they block me? And make it. Don't give any energy to it. If you are actually thinking, should I go on? Should I not? Is he thinking? Just try to distract yourself until it stops happening.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

And maybe go. And I think, like, maybe you have a friend that I. I text this person every time I want to look at that person's social media.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or you go, I'm gonna go ride my boyfriend every time I want to look at social media.

[A]

Yeah. Have sex with your boyfriend every time you want to look at your boyfriend's ass, I'll make you feel bad.

[B]

What about this? Go to your own page and look at your page as if an ex was looking at you.

[A]

Oh, period, Meg. I love that.

[B]

Yeah. And just pretend and be like, oh, look at how beautiful her hair looks. And. Yeah, it's. Life's too short to be worried about these things. Actually, the thing that helps the most is being like, if something actually happened and that between these two, that would not be the person for me.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

If my boyfriend leaves me for their high school ex, that it would give me the ick.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what she. They should be saying.

[A]

It's just all about self talk, I guess.

[B]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

My boyfriend went to a bachelor party in Mexico and drunkenly posted a video of him making out with a stripper and. And took it down two minutes later. I didn't see it, but my friend screenshotted it and sent it to me. Good friend. Now he's back, and he doesn't know that I know he's acting normal. Do I dump him or get my revenge?

[B]

You literally. I can't even. There's so many stories where it's like, oh, I found out I was being cheated on. Didn't say it until this time. I. Like, I would literally immediately send it to them. Like, right. Hi. Hello. Yeah, like, what? It's going on.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know why she hasn't sent it to him.

[B]

I'm like, this. Oh, this is an interesting video of you kissing someone. I don't think that's me, though. Yeah, Well, I wonder what kind of revenge that person's thinking of.

[A]

I would have just texted him in the moment.

[B]

Yeah. Don't come home.

[A]

Or maybe you go to a strip club, you make out, you post it when he gets Mad. You'd be like, yeah, we're done.

[B]

Better.

[A]

You, like, checkmate him.

[B]

Yeah. And guess what? You could also find out what strip club they're going to, and then you go and strip there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And during one of the lap dances, you turn your head high. Yeah. You want to see me dancing like this? You could have been getting that at home.

[A]

Yeah. But you didn't.

[B]

I like that idea. The. The checkmate.

[A]

Yeah, checkmate. And he's like, tries to get mad, and it's like, you can't get mad. I'm. You're done. We're done.

[B]

Yeah. And you have a huge boner because of. You love watching me dance.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

It's. Cheating is all about the person and not the person they're with. It's like insecurity and stuff. So he was probably insecure and wanting to kiss the stripper, who was probably beautiful, but, like, he. He was wanting that attention, right?

[A]

Yeah. Have you ever cheated on someone?

[B]

Never. Never.

[A]

You ever been cheated on?

[B]

I had a gay boyfriend in high school, I think. Was she? Okay, but do you forgive him? I do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I do. I, I. I do forgive him.

[A]

You guys friends?

[B]

Yeah, I think so, probably. What makes you think people were telling me that? But I think he's. I love him. And I guess at the time I was upset, but also, like, I wasn't like, oh, my God, like, you're cheating on me. I don't even know if I told him. Like, I think I was like. I think it was like someone was like, I saw him like, or whatever with someone, and I kind of was just like, I don't even remember confronting. Like, maybe I did and I repressed it, but. But I. It wasn't like we weren't sexual. I wasn't, like, ready to do that anyway. He wasn't wanting to because he was gay. But, like, we did love each other. It was really, really electric.

[A]

It's like Hannah and Elijah.

[B]

It was like that. Yeah. I mean, it was literally, like, really intense. Like. Like he would throw my computer, I'd throw his phone. Like, if we were mad each other, we were best friends. Like. Yeah, it was like, really, like. It was like a really intense. He was like my sister and my boyfriend.

[A]

Oh, wait. Oh, my God. This is actually insane.

[B]

What?

[A]

Me and my ex boyfriend have been working on getting back together for months at a party. He kissed a gay guy. He is straight.

[B]

Oh, my God. That is crazy. I have the chills. We've had a lot of synchronicities lately.

[A]

Is it wrong for me to take this seriously.

[B]

Take the kiss.

[A]

I don't know what, like just acknowledging that your ex boyfriend is like bisexual.

[B]

Making out or kissed at a party.

[A]

He kissed a gay guy. He is years.

[B]

Who hasn't.

[A]

Yeah. Period.

[B]

I feel like gay guys love kissing. Like, I feel like at a party gay guys are always trying to kiss me.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like I. I think it, it would be actually interesting to talk to that person and be like, was it like silly or was it like sexual? Because it'd be cool if he was bi.

[A]

And if even if he is, I prescribe season one, episode three of Girls all adventurous women do where Hannah finds out Elijah is gay.

[B]

Yes. I love that.

[A]

It's the best episode ever.

[B]

It is the best episode.

[A]

And she make.

[B]

Don't you agree that it's like flirty, like. No, I'm not saying all gay guys. I'm not. Please don't. Don't put a viral clip of me up going, gay guys love to kiss. But I'm just saying that they're like they at a party. I mean, come on.

[A]

It's like not.

[B]

Yeah, with tongue. Make out. Like, what was it?

[A]

Well, we don't know. Sometimes the pussies don't get specific.

[B]

Okay, well, I want to tell the that I think if my partner kissed somebody, yes, I would be really upset. Yes, it's cheating, but it's their ass. But they're exes and they're getting back together. They're not together yet. This person, if anything, that would be a turn on to me. Wow. Cool. Bye. All right.

[A]

Like, I always wanted to date a bi guy.

[B]

Well, why can't you?

[A]

Because they're hard. They're hard to come by sometimes.

[B]

That's because that they are being told that they can't.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Be by what? There's so many by men.

[A]

There's so many by men. Especially in la.

[B]

Exactly. You're gonna find there's probably more by men than you could even think of.

[A]

My boyfriend and my boy. My boyfriend and I only had sex with each other. I love him and I hope we get married one day. But I will always wonder what sex with other people will be like. But I don't want to break up. Should I tell him? What would you do? Well, I don't have sex. So, Meg, what would you do?

[B]

Well, I would say first of all, God, how old is this person? Like, because it would make a difference. If it's someone who's like 19, I would say you guys probably will break up. No, I'm kidding. I'M kidding.

[A]

I'm kidding.

[B]

But no, I'm saying if it's like, I know plenty of people that dated at 19 and they're still together, so do not get mad at me. Pussy. Pussy. What do you call. What do you call them? Don't get mad at me. Because that. Every couple's different. But what I'll say is that I think that, to be honest, if you. It is good. If there's other things you want to explore and you're like, I don't know if this is the right person, then. Then think about maybe, like, is it. Is it worth. Is this my person? This is what they need to ask. Is this my person? If the answer is yes, I'm so in love with this person, it's not worth it. What taught to me is finding somebody that is loyal to you and you're loyal to them.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

And so, like, it's not worth it. Honey, I've been there. You don't need to shop around.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If you found your person, literally. Hold on. Because it's literally rare and, like, just stay. But if it's someone who, like. Okay, there's all these other categories. Like, I just don't think this is a person. And you're really young. It's like, if you break up, you'll find your way back to each other if it's meant to be.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But that's only if you're not sure it's your person. Because I wouldn't risk it.

[A]

Right. So you know what I would prescribe is the movie how to be Single.

[B]

How about how to have a Threesome?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or that I love how to be Single. I love that movie.

[A]

Isn't it good?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Take me home, lady. But that's true.

[B]

She, like, leaves, and then she wants him back.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just not worth it if you think you found your person, like, don't. If I. If there's any chance that, like, this might be the one, I would wait and find out. I wouldn't. I wouldn't mess around with that. And I agree. This precious life, it's hard to find.

[A]

It is.

[B]

I know you're gonna find the most perfect bisexual man.

[A]

I hope I know you.

[B]

You are literally so magnetic. I know that. Really person. You are literally. You are magnetic, young, vibrant. You need to, like, just have so much fun because the bisexual person is coming to you.

[A]

Okay. I really hope.

[B]

And you're like, don't explore after you find them, because it is, like, it's not fun in the walking around with These people in the. In the streets testing for test drives.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is. Monogamy's in.

[A]

Monogamy is n. Yeah. Do you watch Real Housewives?

[B]

I really don't. I think I've seen maybe a little bit of it.

[A]

You would do the funniest Real Housewives get.

[B]

I need to. I need to watch more of it. It's overwhelming because there's so many episodes.

[A]

Start with Salt Lake.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You'll appreciate it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Start with Salt Lake. How do you know when it's the right time to move on from a relationship? Like, literally, what are the signs I should be looking for? It doesn't feel like it used to, but there are no blaring issues. Help. I'm so lost.

[B]

If you are writing into a podcast about it, it's over. It's over, right?

[A]

I kind of agree.

[B]

I would never, like, I would just never write into a podcast about it unless I was like, I'm leaving this person. Because imagine they get married. I would still have in my mind that I did that.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That you wrote into a podcast about them.

[B]

I'm like, this is someone that, at one point at midnight, I was crying writing into a podcast. Is it over? If they make you feel, I guess, like, less like yourself than you do on your own?

[A]

Probably, yeah. Damn.

[B]

I don't have the timing right of that sound.

[A]

No, it works.

[B]

Because usually, like, someone's like, and that's on period. But I'm like, yeah, like, five minutes later.

[A]

Meg, what did we learn today?

[B]

Well, I learned that dating. Well, I already knew this, but dating men could be hard because all those questions were about men. Men.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I learned that you think that 35 is an old aunt.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That'S older to you. I mean, to me, like, when I was 25, 35 felt like, like, so.

[A]

30S are the new 20s, but 30s.

[B]

Are the new 20. I always. I actually do say 30s are the new 20s. 30s are like, okay, 20s, you're a teenager.

[A]

Right.

[B]

30S is like, okay, I'm in my 20s. Like, I'm finally doing what I want to do. I'm figuring out 40s is like, okay, it's time to get started.

[A]

So, yes.

[B]

Time to start getting into the office and work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

50 is like, maybe I could start thinking about kids.

[A]

That's what I think, too.

[B]

60S is like, let's rev it up. We're in the height of our career.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

70S, oh, my God. Like, I have everything I've ever wanted. 80s, we're time to party. And then 90s, we can start to start to settle down.

[A]

100.

[B]

We're on vacation. We're retired.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we're thinking of writing a book.

[A]

What would. What would your book be called?

[B]

Living Life in the Fast Lane. That definitely is a book, right?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

What would my book be called? It would be called hello, God, it's me, Meg, again, because I've always loved you.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

What would yours be called?

[A]

Wait, I. I had one. Oh, Mommy, help. I'm a narcissist.

[B]

You do really think you are a narcissist? Because you're. I just feel like. Do you?

[A]

No. No. I think I have narcissistic tendencies, but I feel empathy.

[B]

You are not a narcissist.

[A]

I care about my friends. I put like, I love my friends. I love my family. I've deep amounts of empathy. I'm a little selfish.

[B]

Enough. No. Being in love with yourself and loving who you are and accepting who you are is not a narcissist. You are. I know. It is funny to say, though, in a book title, so it's a perfect time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I do say that you in real life and. And on the. In the videos I've seen, I could not read you as a narcissist. Okay.

[A]

Well, then today I learned maybe I'm not a nurse.

[B]

You are not.

[A]

Before you leave, can I ask you what music you're listening to and what you're watching on TV and movies?

[B]

Yes, you can.

[A]

I'm really excited to hear.

[B]

I love shows like Love is Blind.

[A]

Do you really?

[B]

Yeah, I do like the Bachelor sometimes. Some seasons. Yeah, I love. I like, like, dating shows.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, it's funny. I just started. I literally. When I had pneumonia, I watched almost all of Transparent, which was so good. I can't believe I haven't.

[A]

Oh, my God. That show used to be amazing, huh? What?

[B]

I believe that. I.

[A]

What happened to that show? Didn't the main character get in trouble?

[B]

Yeah. And that's something I didn't realize. Yeah. I was Two seasons.

[A]

Why did. Why did they get in trouble?

[B]

Like, I think he. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So that was. No, he was screaming at one of the actresses. Oh, okay. Yeah. It was a very big deal. But that was, like, one of the most celebrated shows at the time, apparently. It's amazing.

[B]

I didn't know that the. That person was, like, canceled until I was, like, like, three seasons in. And then I, like, looked up an article, and I was like, what? So I was watching that. I watched that. Oh, music. Everyone, you know, but everyone's listening to Charlie xcx. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Sabrina Carpenter.

[A]

Well, you were in her Christmas special.

[B]

I was. I was. Merry Christmas.

[A]

Merry Christmas.

[B]

I love her. She's so funny. She is so funny and she's so talented. I do. I love Taylor Swift.

[A]

I. Well, I love Taylor.

[B]

I love. I love Taylor Swift. I'm sorry, I. I just. Well, I guess I'm not sorry.

[A]

No, you're not sorry.

[B]

When everyone does. Everyone loves her.

[A]

Everyone.

[B]

I love. I love that new album, Torture Poets.

[A]

Yeah, I love it too.

[B]

I loved it. So I'm always listening to her. I listen to a lot of rap music. Sexy Red and Megan, Thee stallion. A lot of stuff like that.

[A]

Nikki fan.

[B]

I love Nikki. Of course.

[A]

I love Nikki so much.

[B]

I do. I really do.

[A]

I really love her so much.

[B]

I love Lil Wayne.

[A]

I. Wait, Meg, we are so synced up. I was listening to Lil Wayne this morning.

[B]

Really? Oh, my God.

[A]

You know, my favorite feature from Lil Wayne is his verse on motivation with Kelly Rowland.

[B]

Well, can you sing it? I can't think of it.

[A]

Yeah, let me. Let me get the lyrics up for you.

[B]

I need you to sing it, girl.

[A]

I turned that thing into a rainforest Rain on my head Call that brainstorming? Yeah. This is deep but I go deeper but make you lose yourself and find his keepers it's go green light good. Go wheezy, go. I like to taste that sugar that's sweet and low but hold up, wait, new position. I put her on my plate Then I do the dishes? She my motivation? I'm her transportation? Cause I let her ride while I drive her crazy that then I just keep going, going like I'm racing When I'm done she hold me like a conversation Wheezy baby.

[B]

You sound just like him.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Wait, that. He is literally. Like, his voice is hot.

[A]

Yeah, he's awesome.

[B]

Like, it's like. Like my motivation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love him.

[A]

I love.

[B]

He's. By the way, he is short.

[A]

He is very short. Lil Wayne.

[B]

And there's Nate. I don't want him any other way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You've never looked at Lil Wayne and been like, I wish you were taller.

[A]

No, because his name is literally Lil Wayne.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I. Well, I didn't really think of that.

[A]

That's why.

[B]

But, like, he's, like, confident in, like. I wouldn't want to see Lil wayne tall.

[A]

No. 100%.

[B]

Like, I. And he's not too short. Like, nothing's too short. Nothing's too tall.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Put that on. T shirt. Maybe that will be the name of my book.

[A]

Nothing's too short, Nothing's too tall.

[B]

Yeah, perfect.

[A]

Everything's perfect. Well, thank you for being here.

[B]

Thanks for having me.

[A]

I had the best time with you.

[B]

Do you. Do you feel like you had the best time ever?

[A]

I've never heard them laugh more in my life.

[B]

Is that serious? That makes me feel amazing because I had so much fun. It was so relaxing.

[A]

Well, not usually.

[B]

I get stressed.

[A]

Are you the prettiest girl in America? Which is the name of your upcoming tour. You're also the funniest.

[B]

And you're the funniest and the prettiest. Please, everybody, please come see the prettiest Girl in America tour coming to you for two weeks in. In some random places. So go see on my tickets if it's going to be coming with you to you and it's going to be worth it. And the tickets are. Are great. It's a steal.

[A]

Want to say bye, pussies?

[B]

Bye, pussies.