← Therapuss with Jake Shane
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 77: Addison Rae
01:05:13
So I put my headphones on… Listen to my favorite Therapuss…
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- [00:11]
A
Hi. Welcome back to Therapists. Our next guest needs absolutely no introduction. I am so pleased, honored, and excited to talk to the queen Addison Rae today.
- [00:26]
B
I. I was actually watching your last few episodes, and I was like, oh, my gosh. I wonder what he's gonna say for my intro. And that was really sweet.
- [00:34]
A
Wait, I'm so. I was thinking about your intro all morning. I was like, no introduction. And I was gonna list off your singles, but then I was like, that contradicts the no introduction.
- [00:45]
B
We can get into those.
- [00:47]
A
I'm so excited for you.
- [00:49]
B
Thank you.
- [00:49]
A
You've had the most incredible year.
- [00:51]
B
Thank you. Are you, like, been pretty crazy?
- [00:53]
A
What? Like, what's it. Because I remember, I feel like I saw you that night you released Diet Pepsi, and I feel like just from then, it's been like, whoa.
- [01:02]
B
Yeah, that was a crazy night.
- [01:04]
A
You were literally at the event. It was you and Lexi, and you were watching the premiere, and you were so anxious, and I. And then I remember listening to it that entire weekend at the Jersey Shore, and I was like, this is where it's meant to be listened to.
- [01:17]
B
I feel like I definitely watched those tiktoks of you at the Jersey.
- [01:21]
A
Yeah. Yeah. I was, like, eating ice cream.
- [01:23]
B
Wait. Because then you posted the ice cream TikTok.
- [01:25]
A
Yes. Yes.
- [01:27]
B
Yeah. Yeah. That was a crazy night. I. I wasn't. I don't know. I kind of am in the type of person to prefer that when something comes out that's, like, requiring a lot of attention from me or, like, to me, I like to do something else.
- [01:40]
A
Right.
- [01:41]
B
So that was kind of why we were like, let's just go to this really fun event. I don't know, and do something that's, like, a little bit more distracting than just, you know, anticipating the release of it all.
- [01:50]
A
And it, like, literally took off. Do you. Well, did you expect Diet Pepsi to take off the way it did?
- [01:57]
B
I don't know that I really had any real expectations for it, but I did know that it was a really special song. Whenever I wrote the song with Luke and Elvira, we were in the studio, and it was, like, the first time we met, and, I mean, our session was, like, about to end. And sometimes, like, in sessions, you're like, I don't know. It's. With anything, really. It's like, are we gonna make something that we like, or are we never gonna speak to each other again? You know? And then Twitter? Towards the end of the session, the song just really magically happened. Like, Luca started playing the piano, and we were kind of all just, like, humming different little melodies. And then we found this one little section, the last line of the hook. Losing all my innocence. And then we were like, oh, my God, wait. That is literally so good. And we were like, okay, let's keep going. And the next day, we finished the song, and we were just like, there's something really magical here. And that kind of kickstarted everything. But I think my expectations were pretty low in terms of, like, people getting or understanding it, because sometimes when you put too much of an emphasis on the response, it ends up just never matching that anyways, you know? So I tried to go into it pretty chill.
- [03:03]
A
I feel like that's the best way. I feel like I experience that all the time, where it's like, I put all my excitement towards, like, one thing, and then it never ends up being what you want it to be.
- [03:13]
B
And then it's.
- [03:13]
A
And then it's like, well, it's over. Now what do I do?
- [03:15]
B
Yes. And then it's like a crisis.
- [03:18]
A
Yeah, it's like the biggest internal crisis. Wait, so Elvira, did she do the entire album?
- [03:22]
B
Yeah, I did the whole album with Luke and Elvira.
- [03:24]
A
And what was that like?
- [03:25]
B
It was really great. I. I didn't know initially that I wanted to make the entire album with the same people because, you know, with my EP and other music that I've made, it's kind of been, like, sessions and sessions and sessions until I'm so noisy right now.
- [03:40]
A
Wait, I'm obsessed. It's really common for me. It's really common for me.
- [03:44]
B
Kind of nice. Um. Yeah. I don't know. When I made other music and had done other sessions before, it never made full sense to just stay in the same room because it kind of felt sometimes, like, too stale. If you'd, like, stay in the same room with the same people for too long, you're like, all right. I don't know what else I could say with you.
- [04:01]
A
I said, right.
- [04:02]
B
And I don't know. I'm an oversharer, so I kind of get through it really quick.
- [04:05]
A
Yeah.
- [04:05]
B
Go in really hard. And then after we made Diet Pepsi, we were like, I don't know. It feels like something really special is happening here. And, you know, having a room of all girls, something that I never experienced before because I'd never really worked with female producers like that.
- [04:20]
A
I think that's what makes your. I was actually just talking about this. I think that's what makes your music so special, is that it's, like, literally made by all women and it's like the coolest thing ever because, like, women get pop. You know what I mean? And like.
- [04:32]
B
And also just totally understand each other in a way that, you know, you can't always get there or feel understood. I don't know, it felt like it just made sense. And when it was happening and, you know, Elvira's from Sweden and Lucas from la, but super international and I don't know, it's like they understood such separate perspectives as me, but also something so synonymous throughout all of us.
- [04:55]
A
Right.
- [04:56]
B
It just really. I don't know, it feels really special.
- [04:58]
A
It is really special. And you should be super proud of yourself. I'm, like, so excited to just for it to soundtrack my entire summer.
- [05:05]
B
I can't wait for you to hear all of it.
- [05:06]
A
Me too.
- [05:07]
B
Dying for you to hear. I'll. I'll play you.
- [05:09]
A
Please, please.
- [05:11]
B
The teaser had a. That I just had posted, had the instrumental to a song which is called New York and it'll be out, but the song is called New York.
- [05:18]
A
Yeah.
- [05:19]
B
And it's the first track on the album, so it opens the album with New York.
- [05:23]
A
That is perfect. Do you. Are there any features on the album or is it all you?
- [05:27]
B
No, it's all me. It's all me. I. I don't know. I felt like that was really important for me. I think there was a lot of ideas from you, you know, the label or people to explore having features or people collaborate. But I don't know, I. Like I said, it felt really intuitive and correct for it to just be me, Luca, Elvira trapped in a room.
- [05:51]
A
Right.
- [05:51]
B
Making an album and finishing it. We only added one other person into rooms and her name was Tove, and she's also a female, so the whole project is only women.
- [06:00]
A
That's amazing.
- [06:02]
B
Really great. Obviously, besides, like, who mixes and masters?
- [06:04]
A
Right, right, right.
- [06:05]
B
But I actually don't know of any. And if I know any women that mix and master. But, like, hey, maybe the next project. No, I'm kidding. I love Randy and Servin. Shout out to them.
- [06:15]
A
Do you. How does this feel different than the ep? Because. Because I feel like the ep, like, did you. Were you always planning on releasing that or was it, like, leaked and everyone was like, release it, release it, release it. And you're like, okay, okay.
- [06:31]
B
No, Yeah, I didn't plan on releasing it. I actually, after Obsessed came out, I kind of was like. I don't know. I was really trying to lock myself away. I kept doing sessions and I kept writing, and obviously that's how all the Other songs that got leaked. Got leaked because all of those recessions that I was having post obsessed, and maybe even some before obsessed. But, yeah, I didn't want those to come out. They weren't done. And I don't know, I. I was not as confident as myself in myself as a writer at that point. I wasn't really. I wasn't really determined on writing aggressively. I was writing and I was. In all the sessions. I. I think I've only ever cut maybe like, a handful of demos that I didn't have anything to do with. And I don't know, it felt not. It didn't feel, like, reflective enough of who I am. And I don't know, I really struggle with that, which. I don't like that idea because I do think that you can cut a demo and it'd be amazing. I actually just saw Charlie talking about that the other. She was like, if you're an artist that can't. That refuses to cut demos, like, just because you can't sell it. And I'm like, wait, I need to be able to sell it. Wait, can I say yes?
- [07:39]
A
What is cut a demo mean?
- [07:41]
B
Okay, so, like, let's say I feel like, okay, so nothing on but the radio. That songs on my ep. So that song, I cut that song. We changed, like, a few lyrics that are, like, very minor, but that song is like a song that I cut. So that song already existed, you know, and had, like, a demo.
- [08:00]
A
Understood.
- [08:01]
B
Understood a songwriter on it, or in that. In that case, Gaga, right at that song. And so that's kind of like what a demo is like. Someone could present you a song or be like, you know, hey, I really. We wrote this song the other day with no artists in the room, but we feel like this song would sound great in your voice. So do you want to cut the song? And then sometimes it's like, yeah, I want to cut the song. And sometimes it's like, I'm offended that you thought. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I try to have an open mind when it comes to listening to demos, but I am a little bit of a stickler because I think just simply because at this point in my life and career, I'm, like, really adamant on making sure that I'm involved with everything. So it feels really raw and authentic and real. And so I'm a little bit hesitant on cutting demos. But I do think when there's a good enough song, anybody, you know, should give it a shot and try and sell it.
- [08:47]
A
Right. And did you. You had your hand in writing the entire album. And what does your writing process look like?
- [08:54]
B
It depends on this album. And aside from everything else that I've. I've done a lot of the stuff I did before this album. I very much like. Sorry. I'm, like, all over the place.
- [09:06]
A
Same. Same. Don't worry. Don't worry.
- [09:08]
B
I need help. No, but with this album, I. I mean, it was just me looking over in every room alone, essentially. And then I would just come up with concepts, write them in my notes. And there's this one song that we have called in the Rain, and that one I had written down this. This lyric, like, I only cry in the rain so that nobody could see. It essentially was like, this thing that I. I had written in my notes. And that's a very, like, emotional thing for me because I don't like being sad, and I really hate it, actually. And I feel really vulnerable, and I almost feel like a responsibility when I'm sad. And so this song was kind of a little bit of a nod to that in a way of just being like, you know, I'm only gonna cry in the rain because I don't want people to have this. This power over me of, like, seeing me at a weak point or feeling like someone could take advantage of that, or, I don't know, just feeling like my sadness is like a burden on people. I feel really weird about that sometimes.
- [10:04]
A
Is that. Is that what you meant by when you said you had a. You felt like a responsibility when you were sad?
- [10:09]
B
Yeah, it's like, I feel like. I don't know. I always get in my head about it sometimes about just being sad and how I feel like it makes people around you feel uncomfortable or, like. I don't know, like, people have to, like, cheer you up or try really hard to make you feel better. And I'm like. I don't like feeling like that because I always feel like it's a difficult situation to navigate, and I always struggle with people when they're sad because I'm just like. I don't know how to fix it. And I'm such a fixer.
- [10:33]
A
Right. I. I feel like I. I get that. And it's like, do you ever feel like your audience doesn't want to see you sad? And, like, does that give you.
- [10:42]
B
And then you feel like, I don't want to be sad, especially now.
- [10:45]
A
Right.
- [10:45]
B
But I do think on this. On this project, there is a few songs. There's another song called Times like these that's a little bit similar to the vein of Headphones, where it's very much like, you know, accepting the confusion of what happens in your life and kind of making that into something that you appreciate in a lot of ways. And I think that that's kind of what the album does in a lot of ways is like, kind of twist these things on their head and say, you know, I'm not going to let that destroy me or, like, take over my life. And I kind of, like, own the sadness of it all. But back to what I was thinking about in the rain, because I am all over the place. But in the Rain was just like, something I wrote down in my notes, like. Or, you know, I have a little diary that I keep. But I struggle much more to write in a diary because sometimes I feel like, wait, what if somebody's going to see this?
- [11:28]
A
Like, what do I do?
- [11:29]
B
But I'll write down in my phone notes sometimes. And I had written down that I only like to cry in the rain so that nobody notices. And. And then I went into the session with concept to Luke and over, and I was like, all right, I want to write a song that, you know, includes this kind of subject. And so I actually think with that song in specific, Luca, maybe they did it together when I had left a session, because maybe I. I don't know, I went to dinner or something. I was like, guys, I gotta go. But this is, like, over. You know, I think it was over 50 something sessions. We made the album, so.
- [12:01]
A
Oh, wow.
- [12:01]
B
Yeah. So in between that, you know, there'd be days when I was like, I gotta go. But that concept came up and I said it to them. Then I left, and when I came back the next to work, they were like, oh, we wrote this on piano, this melody, and it's the hook melody, which is, like, really gorgeous and beautiful, and it's very, like Swedish vibes. I don't know. Every time I would play that song for people, they'd be like, oh, I can totally feel like the ace of bass in it. It feels. It feels very that. And yeah, that one was one that I, like, came in. And then we wrote all the lyrics together, wrote the verse melody, wrote the pre melody, and then we used that hook that they had came in with, which was so beautiful over this, like, these gorgeous chords on the piano. And that was just, like, one way that a song would come about. But then for most of the rest of them, I mean, we started them from scratch in the room. We have actually some really great footage of us, like, we recorded on our MacBooks. And we would just run it for hours on photo booth, and it would just be us, like, back and forth. I have, like, some funny videos of us just, like, sounding absolutely insane making these songs because we would just bounce back and forth. But it was such an intimate room that it really didn't matter how crazy we sounded.
- [13:06]
A
Right.
- [13:06]
B
Right until we landed upon the songs.
- [13:09]
A
Do you. Was there, like, a song on the album that you were like, this song is never getting done, and it was, like, so hard to finish.
- [13:15]
B
Oh. You know, for the most part, all of the songs when we started them, we wouldn't finish them if it wasn't gonna be on the album. Like, we didn't make very many songs for the album. So the album's 12 songs, and there's two interludes in that. And the interludes. The. One of the interludes actually came from, like, a session that we did in New York. And I loved this melody that I had made. And I was like, oh, and I love this quote. Like, I read this book or a title of a book, and it. I think it's Clear Water. Clear Water in a pool painted black. And that inspired me to write, which is one of the interlude titles, Life's no Fun Through Clear Waters. Because when I read that, I was like, what does that even mean? And then I was thinking to myself, it's just, like, life would not be interesting if everything was beautiful and perfect. And so I'd written that down, and this melody came to me in the session, and I was like, oh, wait, this is it. And we, like, you know, mess with it for a little bit. That whole day in New York, and we were at Jungle. Jungle City, I think, is the studio that we were at. And we, like, came up with this, and it was, like, really angelic and beautiful. And then all of a sudden, we were like, this is not going anywhere. Like, we're not doing anything with this. And then I remember, like, I came back the next day or weeks later even, and, like, Luke and Elvira, like, pitched it down, like, really low and, like, slowed it down and made it really distorted and weird, and then that ended up making the album. So I think, like, most of these songs either started and finished themselves in, like, a span of two to three days and maybe had tweaks, like here and there. But for the most part, we would almost, like, put away a song that didn't come right magically right. Like, if it didn't feel like it was happening effortlessly, we kind of, like, let it go, which has kind of been Something that I've been doing a lot lately, which is sometimes. Sometimes not the right thing to do. No.
- [14:59]
A
But I actually think that's super beautiful because I think you can really feel it. Like, the whole album kind of has this, like, ethereal, like, fairy, like, vibe that was kind of, like, it came to you and you, like, regurgitated it and you're like, here you go.
- [15:12]
B
Totally.
- [15:12]
A
And so I actually think that really works in your favor. And, like, is, like, really, like, a present theme in the album. Even though I haven't heard it yet, I feel that from the album. And I also feel that through the COVID which is so incredible. When I saw that cover, Louise, like, when I saw that cover, I actually. My jaw hit the floor. It was like, you know, like, it was so. So, like, naughty. But so it was just perfect. It was. It's a really. It's a perfect. It felt like a classic to me. Like, that's what it felt like. And how did. Did you. Were there any other options for the.
- [15:48]
B
COVID So I'll show you, actually, because I have a photo of, like, the wall, essentially. We did this photo shoot at the Box in New York, which was really fun. And I love the box.
- [15:57]
A
I love the box. I love the box.
- [15:59]
B
I don't care if anybody hates the box. I love the Box. And, like, I just love how dangerous it is and naughty and crazy. But we. We shot the COVID at the Box, and we did the kind of the whole album shoot there, which was just my dream. I had like, a really fun night at the Box. And after that, I was like, okay, I just need everything to exist in the context of the box, you know?
- [16:22]
A
Yeah.
- [16:22]
B
I really want to find this before. This is what looks like.
- [16:26]
A
Oh, whoa.
- [16:27]
B
So there was like, wait, that's when we were like, oh, yeah, this is.
- [16:30]
A
Yeah, that's the shot.
- [16:31]
B
But there really wasn't, like, a clear winner when we shot it. I'm like, anybody? Anybody that's listening? No, when we shot it, there wasn't necessarily a goal in mind for the COVID Right. So we had done.
- [16:42]
A
Oh, whoa.
- [16:43]
B
Here, you want to hold it?
- [16:44]
A
Yeah.
- [16:45]
B
You can, like, zoom in if you want. But when we shot it, there wasn't, like, a clear cover. We really didn't know what the COVID was going to be.
- [16:52]
A
Oh, these are amazing. Oh, my God. You can make a fucking coffee table book out of these.
- [16:57]
B
I know. I want to. I want to do a gallery.
- [16:59]
A
You should.
- [17:00]
B
But we were in between that and. And the one that we ended up choosing. But we were, like, pulling them out and, like, really figuring out what was going to make the most sense. I mean, we. We printed everything. Like, Ethan, we went to his gallery, right? It was like, me, Lexi and Justin and Joe at the gallery, just looking at all the printouts and, like, going one by one. And he printed out pretty much every photo, and we just, like, pinned them on the wall, and we're like, all right, which one, like, speaks the album to us, you know? And that one is. I've been using pink a lot. That's been, like, a common theme. Like, with high fashion, it was a lot of pink. With the aquamarine cover, it was more of a pink wash, even though it was still blue. And then Diet Pepsi obviously, was like, black and white and Pepsi colors, but. But still very pink. Like, everything felt very pink right then when we shot that cover and it had a wash of, like, multiple colors in it, it just made the most sense and kind of encapsulated the whole album in a way that I think the other photo, you know, was in black and white. It kind of just didn't give me enough. Didn't give me enough emotion when I looked at it. And I think the photo that we ended up going with feels very heavy and in that way, and it's, like, very reactional when you look at it, and it feels magical.
- [18:14]
A
That's why I was. Yeah, it feels, like, ethereal and, like. I also think it was such a good move to go with color because the album is so colorful.
- [18:20]
B
It is.
- [18:20]
A
Every song has, like, you know, like, you can, like, hear the colors in it, especially in headphones on. Like, you can hear, like, the pinks and the purples and, like. You know what I mean? And it's just so special.
- [18:31]
B
I know I don't have, like. I don't. I don't know what the diagnosis is for, like, synesthesia, but I'm like, maybe I have it. I just don't even know what the qualifications are to have that. But I do think I like to associate songs with colors because it. It brings it to life for me and makes it really vivid. But, yeah, the. I also feel like the theme for me. I don't know if you know what Libby Lou is. No. Does anybody know? Okay. Well, it's essentially this, like, child store, like, type of Disney princess type of scenario. Like, you know, when you go to Disney, like, as a kid, and you could, like, get a princess look or, like.
- [19:06]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [19:07]
B
Give you a makeover.
- [19:08]
A
Right.
- [19:08]
B
So Libby Lou essentially is like, this makeover spot for, like, kids and I would go there when I was. I've posted photos here before, and it was really cute. It's like a feather boa. You could, like, choose to be the rock star, or you could choose to be the pop princess, like, whatever. Anyways, the whole goal for the album is for it to feel like, R rated. Libby Lou, we were like, we want. Me and Lexi have talked about this all the time because Lexi's from Texas and I'm from Louisiana. So we have, like, a very similar upbringing. And. And I lived in Texas for a little bit, and that's where I first went to Libby Lou.
- [19:39]
A
You did?
- [19:39]
B
Lived in Houston.
- [19:40]
A
When did you live in Houston?
- [19:41]
B
In middle school.
- [19:42]
A
No way. And then did you. So were you raised in Louisiana, then Houston, then back to Louisiana? Got it, got it, got it.
- [19:49]
B
So Southern girl. Yeah, Southern girl. My core. But yeah, Lexi grew up in Texas too, so we had a lot of the same experiences. But we. It was so funny. We were in Palm Springs for Coachella and we went to, like, the skim store randomly. We were like, in the skim store at the outlets, and we walked in. Outlets. I know, Me too. Like, YSL in those outlets is so good.
- [20:11]
A
It's just like. It's perfect.
- [20:12]
B
It's perfect. It's perfect. And it's just such a perfect stop on the way to, like, the weird location of Palm Springs. You know, every time I'm there, I'm like, this is literally. Don't Worry, Darling. Like, why does it feel like this?
- [20:24]
A
It is. I think Don't Worry, Darling was shot in Palm Springs.
- [20:26]
B
No, I think it was too, but it's exactly that. Like, it feels like. I don't know, it feels like somebody came in there and tried to make that, like a fake study. Yeah, it's like, why are we supposed to be smiling all the time? But, yeah, we went in there and we smelt like Libby Lou. And it was. Anyways, that's where I meant to circle that back to, because we smelt the smell of Libby Lou and we looked at each other and we were like, Libby Lou. And we were like, that's a sign. Like, the album is Libby Lou.
- [20:51]
A
That's amazing.
- [20:52]
B
You have to know more about Libby Lou.
- [20:53]
A
I. Does it still exists?
- [20:54]
B
No, no.
- [20:56]
A
When did it shut down?
- [20:57]
B
Wait, I'm gonna show you the logo.
- [20:58]
A
Wait, I want to see. It reminds me of, like.
- [21:01]
B
Like, what color are you seeing?
- [21:02]
A
Like, yellow. Like a. Like a butter yellow. Okay, so it's not a butter yellow.
- [21:09]
B
No, it's actually like this.
- [21:11]
A
It's like this so it's like, like.
- [21:14]
B
Very hot pink and, like, purple.
- [21:17]
A
So it's like, what's a. What's that? Who am I thinking of? You know, the cartoon. And it's like, it'll come to me in, like, four hours. What is it?
- [21:29]
B
Yeah, like, right when I leave.
- [21:30]
A
Right when you leave, it'll come to me. Are you planning on touring the album or.
- [21:35]
B
I don't know. Am I allowed to say that? There's definitely plans to tour the album, yeah.
- [21:42]
A
Are you, like, excited about, like. Do you like performing?
- [21:46]
B
Yeah, I do really like performing. I. I don't know. I think I was always wanting to perform. Just in life, I think it's always been so fun to me to be on stage and, like, convey some sort of feeling to people. I mean, I grew up competitively dancing, so I think, wait, look, this is Libby Lou. So, like, you would get dressed up like that?
- [22:07]
A
Oh, whoa.
- [22:09]
B
Isn't that amazing?
- [22:10]
A
It's like a.
- [22:11]
B
It's like, build a bear for yourself.
- [22:13]
A
It's like a gay Hot Topic. It's like, kind of what it is.
- [22:17]
B
No, it's the best place on earth. Oh, my God, I miss it.
- [22:21]
A
By the way, this is giving exactly what I thought it was. The cartoon I was talking about.
- [22:25]
B
Really?
- [22:26]
A
What the is it? It's like. It's like pink, and they're like. And they're like. It's like the dolphins.
- [22:37]
B
You think about Lisa Frank.
- [22:38]
A
Yes, yes, yes.
- [22:40]
B
It is like Lisa Frank. It actually is very much like that. Yeah, but that wasn't a cartoon. That was just, like, stickers. Yeah, that's like a brand. Yes.
- [22:47]
A
Like, I didn't know how to describe it. I was like, something of this sort.
- [22:51]
B
No, it's so that. Like, the vibrant colors of Lisa Frank.
- [22:54]
A
Right.
- [22:54]
B
That.
- [22:57]
A
I just want to know what Coachella was like.
- [22:59]
B
Oh, my God, it was so crazy.
- [23:00]
A
Was it scary at all? I went weekend one. I was so mad when you came out week on two. I was like, cool. I missed it.
- [23:06]
B
No, it's okay. It actually, I don't know weekend one, because I was there with ARCA on weekend one, which.
- [23:12]
A
Right, right.
- [23:13]
B
Really fun. And. And honestly, the perfect way to, like, start my Coachella experience. I've never been to Coachella before that. So Ever. No, but you did Stagecoach last year.
- [23:22]
A
Yeah.
- [23:23]
B
That's so different. I even just Stagecoach this year for a day, and it's very, very different. I went to see Lana.
- [23:28]
A
How was.
- [23:29]
B
It was amazing.
- [23:30]
A
Oh, she looked unbelievable.
- [23:32]
B
It was so good. It was really magical. I know. She looked and sounded Perfect.
- [23:38]
A
I just, like, feel like. I feel like women are really, like, running the music space right now. And it's so, like, nice to see after, like, all these years of that, like, not being the case.
- [23:48]
B
Totally.
- [23:49]
A
Or maybe it was the case, but it was, like, underappreciated.
- [23:52]
B
Yeah.
- [23:52]
A
And now it's like, there's, like. With, like, Stan culture, like, kind of coming to, like, the forefront of the zeitgeist. Like, I feel like it's, like, this new appreciation, and it's, like, awesome to see.
- [24:03]
B
Yeah, it is so nice. It's such, like, a motherly vibe.
- [24:06]
A
Yeah.
- [24:07]
B
I love it. Yeah. Lana was amazing. And Coachella was. Was just really crazy. It was really crazy. I actually don't get very nervous before I go on stage.
- [24:16]
A
You don't seem it at all.
- [24:17]
B
No, I'm, like, very chill. Like, almost so chill that my managers are like, is something wrong? Like, are you okay? You know, I'm really chill. And I. I like to make things as normal as possible before big moments like this. So I like everybody to be chilling. I like to be, like, walking around. I almost like to pretend it's not about to happen.
- [24:34]
A
Right.
- [24:34]
B
You know, like, and then I'm just like, okay. I can only think about it when I'm literally walking on stage. Because then it makes it a little bit more processable.
- [24:42]
A
It's kind of like jumping into, like, processable process. Yeah.
- [24:46]
B
I like picking up my own words.
- [24:48]
A
Yeah. It's a word. Now I feel like it's like, jumping into, like, cold water.
- [24:52]
B
Yes. It's like you can't think about it until you're just doing it.
- [24:54]
A
Right. It's like jumping off a high board.
- [24:56]
B
Yeah.
- [24:57]
A
Like a dive board. Yeah.
- [24:58]
B
High board.
- [24:59]
A
Yeah. I made up my own word, too. Oh, my God. I'm so. Are you doing more music videos for the album?
- [25:06]
B
Yeah. Oh, my God. I just shot which. These will be out by then, by the time the album comes out, and by the time this comes out, I'll show you some videos from that, too.
- [25:12]
A
Wait. I'm so excited.
- [25:13]
B
So I was. There's the song called Fame is a Gun, and that. And that song I love so much. It actually, like, when I was playing the album for people before the album came out, that one was randomly, like, a favorite for people, and it's the only song other than the interlude Life's no Fun Through Clear Waters that we wrote in New York, so.
- [25:31]
A
Oh, no way.
- [25:31]
B
Yeah. And it's New York wasn't even written in New York. We wrote New York in la, which Makes perfect sense, because you have to sometimes leave it to appreciate it, you know?
- [25:39]
A
Yes. I feel like I'm always unhappy where I'm at, and I always, like, look.
- [25:43]
B
And then when I leave, I'm like.
- [25:44]
A
Yeah, I want to go back.
- [25:46]
B
Yeah, I had the best time. So Sean, who directed Diet Pepsi and Aquamarine? Sean Price Williams. He directed this one, which is kind of like a funny little.
- [25:55]
A
And who did high fashion?
- [25:57]
B
Mitch. Mitch Ryan. So he did headphones and high fashion, and then Sean's back for Fame as a gun. And then we have another music video that Ethan, who shot the album, the album cover, he directed. So that was really fun.
- [26:12]
A
Oh, my God.
- [26:13]
B
I just want to show you everything.
- [26:14]
A
I know I need to see it.
- [26:15]
B
All, especially the thing really annoying that this comes out before, because now I'm like, I wanted you to experience it when it all happens, but at the same time, it's like, yeah, you might as well know.
- [26:24]
A
Oh, it, like, reminds me. It's like when Charlie came and talked about Brat. It's like, I didn't.
- [26:28]
B
Yeah, you didn't fully.
- [26:29]
A
I didn't hear a single. Well, I heard, like, the song she'd release. I didn't hear the album at all, but, like, I got the vibe, right?
- [26:34]
B
Like, I got the vibe you could get it.
- [26:36]
A
Yeah.
- [26:36]
B
This is the. The other video we shot, which was really amazing. Like, it's essentially.
- [26:45]
A
Oh, my God.
- [26:46]
B
A bunch of my girlfriends.
- [26:47]
A
Wait, what's this? What's this for? Which one's this?
- [26:49]
B
For times like these, it's, like, pretty much this narrative, the video of, like, you know, separating work and fun. Working. Is that Lexi personal life? No, this is my best gal, Joel. She's gonna be with me for a very long time. So you can remember, Joel. She was an Aquamarine, actually. Whoa.
- [27:08]
A
This is the. This is sick. Choreo.
- [27:10]
B
Yeah, it's amazing. Choreo. It's my bestie and incredible artistic collaborator and friend, Danielle Polanco. Me and Lexi, like, did a class with her before we worked on any of the album stuff together, and we were just like, oh, Danielle has to be a part of this. She's, like, the best dancer ever. Like, if you ever have time and you're bored, you have to go look at all of Danielle's videos because she is so sexy and effortless and perfect, and she's, like, a true kitten.
- [27:38]
A
Right? Do you. Do you. Did you like doing competitive dance when you grew up?
- [27:41]
B
Yeah, I loved it. I really loved it. I miss it. I, like, think. I just miss. I don't know, I love competing. I love competition and feeling like you're being pushed to do something better than you're doing. And I think competition. Dance is so that in, like, a really beautiful and, like, communal way.
- [27:59]
A
Right.
- [28:00]
B
You never feel, you know, too competitive with people you compete against. It's more of, like, this really beautiful push and drive to know what you're capable of.
- [28:09]
A
Right.
- [28:09]
B
And so, yeah, I really miss it.
- [28:11]
A
But now you're kind of able to do it.
- [28:13]
B
Yeah.
- [28:13]
A
Throughout all your art, which, by the way, feels so full circle because I feel like you've tried your hat in so many different things, and then, like, this feels like you're so good at everything. I'm not even just saying that you are so good at everything to me, and I think to everyone as well, but, like, this feels. Does this also feel to you, like, okay, this is what I'm meant to be doing, or.
- [28:36]
B
Yeah, Well, I think, you know, people always ask me what I prefer, like, acting or dancing, and I'm like. Or singing. And I'm like, why can't they all exist in the same world? And to me, they do, because I think performing is kind of like, the basis of what I love in life is like, putting on a really interesting introspective of questionable sometimes or, like, you know, a show that makes you question what you thought about the way you could feel even. And so, like, kind of pushing that boundary within myself, but, like, for other people is, like, really interesting to me. So I think as long as I'm putting on some sort of provocative, interesting show, I'm, like, really satisfied. And I think that with music, I have so much freedom in that. Because with acting, which I do love to do, you can really transform. I mean, you know this Mr. Actor.
- [29:29]
A
Thanks.
- [29:29]
B
But, you know, like, you can really, like, put on a show in a way that you wouldn't go yourself most times.
- [29:35]
A
Yeah.
- [29:36]
B
Or maybe you're an exaggerated version of yourself, which is, like, a really interesting thing to play with. But I think with music, it's so. I'm so lucky that I have so much creative control over what I'm doing right now. And, like, the label really has trusted me with whatever I've wanted to do. Like, they really don't know what the hell is going on. I'm just like, this is what's happening, and we're doing this. Like, we're shooting this video.
- [29:56]
A
But I feel like that's the. You can feel that you have creative control, by the way. Like, you can feel that it's. It's all up to you.
- [30:01]
B
Well, it's just, like, truly, even with Diet Pepsi, like, the team that was used and started and. And slowly evolved into what it is now, even, it's. It's really been serendipitous and magical in ways that, like, we're all best friends and, like, we all have the best time working together. I mean, I'm sure you know how this feels like working with people that total get you and totally understand you and can open up your eyes in different perspectives that feel so true to who you are at the same time as it feels so new. And I think, like, that's what I've had the luxury of, I think choice and. And being able to create what you want exactly the way you want. It is such a privilege and such a luxury that you almost forget about when you're. Until you're on a set where you don't have control. And then you're like, way, I really need control. Like, I'm a control freak. I love being in control.
- [30:52]
A
And it's also so nice to have, like, people around you that, like, will be honest with you and that you can, like, take their criticism. Like, you can take it well. Just, like, finding that good team.
- [31:01]
B
Yeah.
- [31:01]
A
Is like, everything I know. You know what I mean?
- [31:03]
B
And they're, like, all my best friends, and it's just the most magical thing. It's really like a family.
- [31:08]
A
Oh, that's amazing. Okay, guys, I have learned this lesson the hard way, but I think we know now that your person just doesn't fall out of the sky and come to you. You have to actively open yourself up to it and search for love. Tinder makes that part easier for us because there are so many ways you can use it. Use Tinder because you moved to a new city and don't know anybody or because you're abroad and you want to meet a hot foreign guy like me right now in France. Also, it is the summer of yes. Like, I feel like last summer was brat summer, and I was, like, starting to get into my summer of yes. And now it's like a Lord and Addison summer. And, like, I want this to be like. Like, yes. Like, I'm comfortable. I'm. I'm looking for love. I'm ready. Yes. And Tinder makes that easy. Like, you send it for the plot. Like, it's also just, like, for the plot. Like, if you match with somebody, like, great. Like, you can go on a date with them, or you don't have to, but, like, it's also just, like, fun Information to have. Like, if I'm abroad and like, there's a hot guy match with, I'm like, oh, tonight I could go on a date with Jacques or something. You know what I mean? Like, I guess that's just my name in France, but like, or French. You know what I mean? Like, use Tinder for whatever you want. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download the app today. Thank you, Tinder, for sponsoring tonight's episode. This episode of Therapist is brought to you by booking.combooking. yeah. Booking for six people on my tour can be very difficult because everybody has different needs and we all want to make sure sure everyone's needs are met. Like, when you're googling hotel by hotel by hotel by hotel and seeing what they have to offer, it can be very difficult. But booking.com makes it so easy for us because we can just put in what everybody needs and it'll find the rooms at the hotel that give that to us. It makes Matt's life a lot easier, especially because he likes to do things last minute. Oftentimes we'll be getting to a city and we will literally have nowhere booked and we'll be like, oh, so what are we going to? What do we do? And like, normally I would freak out, but because I know he uses booking.com I do not freak out. I know that whatever he puts in all of our preferences will be met. We will always have somewhere to go. And that's because of booking dot com. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, or your high maintenance group chat, everything can be found on booking.com. find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. Releasing music and like doing like bigger projects. Like this I feel like is like different because, like, because you got your start like, you know, posting online and stuff and like that has this like instant gratification almost. It's like you post and you get a bunch of likes and like, you.
- [33:34]
B
Posted a video about this one time, didn't you? You're just like, I just need instant gratification.
- [33:38]
A
Yeah, I do. Like, I need it. And like with. With singing and with acting and performing, like, there is no instant gratification. Like, it's all about like the long term payoff and like, does. How do you, like, how does that feel like the difference between the two?
- [33:53]
B
I feel like I've actually gotten really lucky with most projects that I've worked on or done. Even with acting because, you know, when I filmed he's all that, that was in 2020, and it came out in 2021, and it was, like, pretty fast. You know, it was a really quick turnaround. But then, same thing with Thanksgiving. When I did Thanksgiving, it was a really fast turnaround. It was like, maybe less than eight months or something like that for most of the projects I've done. And then I got really lucky because we just shot, you know, two music videos that'll come out in the next three weeks, which is really fast. But I don't know. I totally get what you're saying, though, because I think I actually shot a movie last year that's coming out at the end of this year and that we had to wait a little bit of time for. Felt like a little bit longer. But I almost have found a lot of comfort in that. I almost enjoy that because I'm like, so many things can be instant, like, social media, you know, Instagram right now, which I'm like, I love posting. Like, I just want to post everything.
- [34:45]
A
Everything.
- [34:46]
B
I, like, don't want to wait for anything. Yeah, I just want to post it immediately. I actually remember you posting something about that, too. When you were going to post your, like, tour video, you were like, I just want to post it right now.
- [34:54]
A
Even though, like, oh, my God, I remember that.
- [34:57]
B
I know.
- [34:58]
A
Oh, my God.
- [34:59]
B
Yeah, I want to share it now. Like, it's too early. Like, I just need to share it, though. And I feel that same way all the time. But I've learned to appreciate that because it gives you a little bit of a buffer. And I think even. I don't know. Even recently, I watched Charlie's TikTok where she was talking about how, like, overexposure is such an interesting conversation.
- [35:17]
A
I loved that.
- [35:18]
B
I loved that, too, because it is such an interesting thing. And it happens very frequently with a lot of artists. They feel like they're too exposed or they need to pull back or, you know, they're too scared to get overdone or, like, feel like you're too in front of everybody's face and that people will get tired of you. But I feel like with projects that are delayed or a little bit later make you wait, it's almost like, okay, not everything has to be now. And I can feel comfort in the fact that something's coming and not so pressured to make something happen now, you know? And I think I've felt that way a lot, even with this past year of making music and. And this and that, or feeling like, time is going by so fast. Honestly, I've really tried to slow down a lot recently because things are happening so quickly. And it is a little sad because it's like, why are we treating it like it's fleeting? I don't like that.
- [36:06]
A
I know. I feel like that's like the key to success almost in, like, some, like, like up way. It's like you have to treat it like it's fleeting.
- [36:14]
B
You think?
- [36:15]
A
Kind of.
- [36:15]
B
Because, like, see, I'm so different. I actually feel like it's the other way around, which is maybe, like, maybe.
- [36:20]
A
I think I have the wrong.
- [36:22]
B
I think you're wrong. No, but this is just my approach, and I think it's. What works for me in a comforting way is I think when I would treat things like they're fleeting, I would feel like it gives them permission to flee it, you know? And I don't want to give anything permission to Fleet. I'm like, I need to. I need to act like this will always. What I want will always be here. And what I. What I know I'm going to get is also always going to be there. And so I will get it, you know? And I think it. You're like, change.
- [36:50]
A
No, I'm like, actually, like. Because it's a confidence. I think it's a confidence thing. And it's like confidence in. I think the reason maybe I treat things like they're always fleeting is because, like, I don't have confidence in what I do or whatever.
- [37:02]
B
You should have more confidence.
- [37:04]
A
I don't mean that in, like, a sad way. I just mean, like, I think it comes with. It comes with time. And like, I think.
- [37:09]
B
I think social media has created that kind of perception in a way, because you feel like in order to. In order to be relevant or important, you have to be extremely active and like, yes, yes, run yourself to the ground in order to stay in front of people's faces. Because it does feel like that. It does feel like when you're out of sight, you're out of mind in a lot of ways. You know, in social media and just the way that the entertainment industry works these days, you're like, well, you forget about me if I don't post today, right?
- [37:33]
A
Yeah.
- [37:34]
B
But I think I've gotten to a point where I feel like when you treat it like that, it does happen like that. And I think when you have quality work that you spent a lot of time on and that you really love and you know, people will value doesn't matter as fast as it needs to come out. It doesn't matter if. If you feel like you need to wait two more weeks for it to come out because you think someone's going to forget about you or maybe you're not going to be in front of their face for them to remember you. It's like the work is the value, you know?
- [37:58]
A
Yeah.
- [37:59]
B
What you put into the work and how amazing the work is and how much time you've spent on it. People will love good things because they're good, you know, so it doesn't matter if you went away and stopped posting for six months. If you come back with something that's incredible and has great integrity and value and. And a lot of passion into it, like, people are going to pay attention no matter what.
- [38:20]
A
Right.
- [38:21]
B
It doesn't take you having to be like, hey, I'm right here. Like, don't forget. Because what you do is. Is a reflection of the time and the energy that was put into it, you know?
- [38:31]
A
Do you feel like that's something you, like, learned? Because I feel like you. You had this active era and then you stepped away.
- [38:39]
B
Yeah, it's a learned thing.
- [38:40]
A
And, like, did that feel weird at first or were you, like, I know that this is what I'm meant to be doing right now.
- [38:45]
B
I think it actually happened pretty naturally for me in a way that, like, my life was kind of evolving and, you know, things were happening in my life that felt like they needed to be handled privately and internally in a lot of ways. And I think it kind of prompted that discovery in a way, because I was like, okay, in order to figure out what I even want to do or how I want. How I want the rest of my career to look or. Or how I want people to. To take me seriously or not. Or what. In what way do I want them to take me seriously? I had to readdress that because I think I gave people permission to view me in one way, which was very much, like, over sharing everything or, like, feeling like they knew things that they didn't even know about, or feeling they were just getting scratching the surface, which then turns into something that isn't what it even is.
- [39:35]
A
Right.
- [39:36]
B
And I think I had to understand that that was out of my control at some point. So what I can control is, is allowing that to be a discussion topic in the first place, you know? So I kind of, like, pulled back a little bit in that time, and then I think I learned over time that quality things and quality items will always draw attention no matter what. You know, no matter how long it took. Or how silent or quiet the. The scene was before you put it out, or if you feel like it wasn't active enough. And I actually think that's why things are fleeting so much these days, is because people treat them like they're disposable.
- [40:11]
A
Yeah.
- [40:12]
B
It's like, of course, if you treat something like it's disposable and, like, it doesn't have enough value to stick around for even three days. Like, of course nobody else is going to treat it like it is, you know?
- [40:21]
A
Right. Like, if you keep, like, being like, okay, and the next and the next and the next, everyone's gonna be like, okay.
- [40:26]
B
They're gonna move on.
- [40:27]
A
Yeah.
- [40:27]
B
As fast as you did.
- [40:28]
A
Right.
- [40:28]
B
You know, so, like, when you treat something like a long, it has longevity, it has power, it has strength and the ability to withstand time. Other people will also respond in that way and. And see the value that you put into it, which therefore translates to them having value in it, you know?
- [40:45]
A
Yeah. I think that's super beautiful.
- [40:47]
B
That's my best advice.
- [40:48]
A
No, I think that's amazing advice because, like, I. I needed to hear that. I feel like. Like, even today, like, something happened and I was like, damn. I, like, thought, do I just need to, like, I thought this was going to be a bigger thing than it was. Okay. Should I just move on? Like, right. Am I, like, right? Are people forgetting about me? And, like, I just, like, the worst feeling. And, like, it is the worst. Yeah. Feeling like, forgotten is like. It's like this most sad, horrible feeling ever.
- [41:13]
B
What's your biggest fear?
- [41:14]
A
Being forgotten.
- [41:15]
B
Really?
- [41:16]
A
I think. Yeah. Being forgotten or being like.
- [41:19]
B
Mine's being alone.
- [41:20]
A
Really? Do you always have someone around you?
- [41:24]
B
Yeah, I, like, love. I don't know. I was talking to my therapist about this, but, like, something about having people there to feel like you're not just in your mind and confused. Like, I feel like that is something that I really look for in company, you know? I'm just like, I need people that are around. So I feel like I'm not just, like, alone in my mind even, you know, and feeling like you don't really know what's happening or. I don't know, it's. It's like an interesting thing that I've learned to discover about myself because I've felt that way for a really long time that I didn't like being alone. But I think being forgotten is kind of hand in hand with that, in a way.
- [41:58]
A
I think so, too. I think, like, being forgotten, I'm, like, thinking about, like, when people are thinking about me, I don't feel alone. You know what I mean? I think it's, like, totally.
- [42:07]
B
Totally.
- [42:07]
A
You know what I mean? And it's like.
- [42:08]
B
But that's why social media is such, like, a companion in a way, right?
- [42:11]
A
It's like a friend.
- [42:12]
B
Yeah, it is.
- [42:13]
A
It's like a literal friend. Did you. Are you, like, still super active on, like, checking socials and stuff, or do you find.
- [42:19]
B
Yeah, I'm an addict.
- [42:20]
A
Yeah, I'm an attitude.
- [42:22]
B
It's actually really.
- [42:24]
A
Check it, like, religiously, like, every five seconds. I can't control it. And, like, I'm so grateful because I wouldn't be here without it. But, like, I understand at the same time that, like, it is really addicting and it's really bad.
- [42:35]
B
I know. Like, what's your screen time?
- [42:37]
A
Like, 12 hours.
- [42:38]
B
12?
- [42:39]
A
Yeah. Yes. I wake up and I check my phone, and I'm just, like, staring at it the entire day. It's literally all I do. I'm like, on my phone.
- [42:47]
B
I love when you talk about that because you're so raw about it. It's, like, amazing. You just own it. But, like, do you like that?
- [42:54]
A
I like it when it feels good. Like when I.
- [42:57]
B
When you read one bad thing and you're like, I just ruined my whole life.
- [42:59]
A
My whole. Like, I read a tweet today that was, like, so nasty about me. And I was like.
- [43:06]
B
You'Re like, the weather is so nice outside.
- [43:09]
A
I want to go get some breath. And the worst is when you read something and it's like, oh, like, why? They kind of eat a little too. You know what I mean?
- [43:16]
B
Wait. Because I feel that way.
- [43:18]
A
Yeah, it's the worst feeling. And I was like, damn. Like, I hate feeling. I hate feeling like a fraud. And I hate when people are like, you. There's something else to you that, like, you're not showing. And it's like, that's why I'm so, like, open and honest about this stuff, because it's like, I don't. I hate. That's, like, my number one thing.
- [43:36]
B
It's like, I hate when people, like, misunderstand.
- [43:37]
A
Misunderstand you or be like, you. This isn't you. You know? Like. Like, I don't. I don't know. And it's like, I feel like for you, it's like you figured out who you were in front of everybody, and it's like, how did you shut out everyone's opinions on that?
- [43:50]
B
Yeah. I mean, I feel like that's. That's kind of What I was touching on with the whole taking a step back from social media thing is that I felt so misunderstood, but I was sharing so much. And I think I even talked about this recently, actually, because I think sometimes you do what you need to do to get where you want to go. And, you know, I wasn't showing every part of myself as one mostly doesn't. You know, there are elements of yourself that surely you don't share online that aren't bad. They just aren't things you're willing to share or talk about or, you know, show. And I think privacy becomes really important over time of like, okay, what can I allow people access to that isn't going to hurt me or they're not going to use to make me feel conflicted in my own life, decisions that I have to make. And so I think, yeah, being misunderstood is definitely annoying. And I. And it does get on my nerves sometimes, but I think over time I've realized that, you know, if somebody's commenting that I'm not, this is not who I am or whatever, or when I was 19, I was more authentic. Like, I'm like, okay, well, you're also 19.
- [44:53]
A
You were different Persona.
- [44:54]
B
I'm like, geez, like, I was from a small town. Of course, I didn't experience a lot of things or had the opportunity to even, you know, figure out who I was in those, those ways because it was life. Whenever you grow up in a small town. Wait, where are you from?
- [45:06]
A
I'm from New York.
- [45:07]
B
Okay, so not a small town. A big, big place. Yeah, but still, I actually feel like a lot of people misunderstand people that are from big towns as well, because you almost feel like you're missing out on, on like the innocence of a lot of things or like the progression of figuring out who you are and having those opportunities to be naive to things and. And then really decide for yourself, you know, because, yeah, whenever you grow up in a big town, sometimes you're presented with all these really large ideas as a small kid that are a little overwhelming, and then you don't really know what you actually believe or have gotten the opportunity to decide to believe.
- [45:39]
A
You know, I feel like that's why I think everything is so fleeting, because it's like everything moves so fast as opposed to like a little slower in a smaller town. Like, it was like, yes, I grew up fast, but not in the sense that I was like, doing a bunch of drugs and this. I grew up fast in the sense that I was like, like, okay, well, what do I want to do, you know, like, everyone's figuring their out, everyone's doing this.
- [45:59]
B
You get to be an adult.
- [45:59]
A
Yeah. It's like I like, took the subway from when I was like, 11 and like, you know, it was like, I know, I know, I know. And it's like, it's like I just feel like I grew up fast in the sense that I was like, okay, well, I'm an adult now and this is what I should want to do and I should have it figured out. And I feel like kind of in the age with like, digital footprint, it's like we've gotten lost on the fact that, like, people change from year to year, you know, like, their interests change, who they are change. And I think were holding people to a lot of who they were. And I feel like. I feel like that's kind of. It's something that, like, we have to reckon with as like.
- [46:36]
B
Well, I think like, we want to be so open online. And that has come over time for people to feel like, you know, we should let everybody live their lives and do what they want. But then it's like this contradicting idea that like, when you've made decisions in your life when you were younger, that you now have to. To never change from those to always, you know, expect that to be a part of who you are. But it's. It's really weird because I think what people don't understand about, you know, growing up in a small town or, you know, Louisiana's a pretty small place, and like, I actually think it's much more. I think it's actually really misunderstood because I think it's much more open and, and beautiful than a lot of people like to think. But I totally understand where this idea comes from of like, the south being really far behind or not accepting people. And I don't know, I just feel like in my childhood, I actually didn't grow up with much of that, even though I did go to like, you know, Christian schools. But a lot of these things stem from religion and what you're taught when you're growing up and. And, you know, leaning on kind of like a rule book of life, which is like, right. What a lot of. Of these things stem from in the first place. And then I think it's like experiencing new life and new places and new people, and you realize the world is not as small as you thought it was. And. And you get the opportunity to. To see and feel things that are new and exciting and beautiful and in ways that you just didn't know, were possible. And I think growing up in a small town, I kind of just. You, you do it. You live the life that you're. You're learning to live in order to exist in that life.
- [48:07]
A
Right.
- [48:07]
B
Because you're just living. You're living the life that. That you're taught to live or that you're expected to live when you're in a certain space and then you, you know, experience life and you move and you meet new people and you try things and. And everything just opens up a little bit more and it's nothing. I think none of it until it is. Is out of bad intention.
- [48:29]
A
Right.
- [48:30]
B
And I think in my life I've always tried to lead with a really good intention and everything I do and I don't know, I try to treat everybody the way I want to be treated, and that's kind of just how I've always acted.
- [48:39]
A
Do you remember, like, that moment where you felt like, oh, there's more than this town. There's like, more than like when I.
- [48:48]
B
Got on Tumblr when I was really. Yeah. I think I must have been like 11.
- [48:54]
A
Yeah.
- [48:54]
B
When I first got on Tumblr because my older cousin had Tumblr and she. It was like during the age of like, I think it was 2020-2010-2011-2012, when people would do like the summer pictures of like big rings, like the blow up rings and like bleach blonde hair.
- [49:11]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [49:13]
B
And I was like, oh, my God, this is so fun. And like bikinis and like, I love it. And then I like, got to confront a lot of different interests maybe in my life and like, creative interest on Tumblr and that kind of opened up a whole new world for me and social media. I mean, it really taught me so much. I was on Stan Twitter when I was little.
- [49:31]
A
Like, Stan Twitter shapes you.
- [49:32]
B
It really does. I had like a. A 1D account.
- [49:36]
A
Did you really? Does it still exist?
- [49:38]
B
No, I actually tried to find it because. Oh, my God, I don't want to talk about it because I'm like, who knows? Maybe it does exist. I'm scared. But no, I had like a, like a. I don't want to talk about it. But I also had a dance too, because I loved dance moms. So I was always on, like, Peyton.
- [49:55]
A
Had my roommate fan account.
- [49:58]
B
So did I. It was on Facebook though.
- [50:00]
A
Oh, oh, really? Yes.
- [50:03]
B
I had a dance mom's fan page on Facebook.
- [50:06]
A
And what?
- [50:07]
B
Like I was in fan page group chats on Facebook. Like, it was really crazy.
- [50:10]
A
Was it like with like 30 year old woman.
- [50:12]
B
No, it was with a bunch of kids. We were all kids on Facebook. We were way too young to be there, but we were there.
- [50:17]
A
Okay. Yeah, I forgot that. I feel like I forget that Facebook was a thing.
- [50:22]
B
I know. And it was so big.
- [50:23]
A
Facebook, I really want it to make a comeback. Really, like. But it would. Would.
- [50:28]
B
I would do that.
- [50:29]
A
But it's like how in this day and age, like, it's not marketable because it's so. Facebook was so personable. The personal.
- [50:36]
B
Personal.
- [50:37]
A
Yeah, personal. You know, like you had to friend someone to see their stuff.
- [50:40]
B
That's kind of the beauty of it.
- [50:41]
A
Yeah, I know.
- [50:42]
B
That was like where the, The. The nice community of it all came from, you know? But I also do get, like, sharing things. That's why, like, obviously Tick Tock is so massive and, and so global is because it's like, like you're getting fed new people every single day that you'd never have seen before in your life versus, like, Facebook is like a. An active community that you have to like, make, you know.
- [51:04]
A
Right.
- [51:04]
B
Which is interesting.
- [51:06]
A
I feel like Tick Tock's, like, changed so much from, like, its conception to what it is now.
- [51:11]
B
Yeah, it really has. It's like it's evolved.
- [51:13]
A
It's evolved. It's a completely different. It's a completely different thing. And I feel like it's. I don't know, it's. You know, it's so weird when you're. When you're watching an app, you're like, I can never imagine this app not being, what, like, the biggest thing in the world. And I feel like it's so crazy to think that there's going to be something after Tick Tock.
- [51:29]
B
I know it's weird, but I don't know, maybe Tick Tock will. I mean, Facebook is still around, you know.
- [51:33]
A
Right. Right.
- [51:34]
B
So maybe we'll always be on Tick Tock.
- [51:36]
A
I hope.
- [51:37]
B
I think we will be.
- [51:38]
A
I love Tick Tock. I love, like. I feel like I've discovered so much new music on Tick Tock and like, so many shows that I watch. And like. Well, speaking of, actually, I was so excited to ask you, like, what were you listening to, like, while you were making your album? Like, what. Who were you listening to, like, for Inspo and just, just.
- [51:54]
B
I'm like, I should look at my. Can't you see your, like, most listened to songs of the year.
- [51:59]
A
I feel like your Spotify is like, famous. Like, I remember, like, when everyone was like, wait, Addison Ray listens to arca.
- [52:05]
B
I Remember that, too. That was such a funny time. I'm like, no. Yeah. Now my. My Spotify is a little bit more public, and I turned off my active listening because I'm like, y' all don't need to know what I'm listening to. Like, get out of here.
- [52:16]
A
I need to turn that off.
- [52:17]
B
No, you should, because, like, I'm just like, get out of my business. I. I'm trying to find new music. Right, Right. I have literally no service in here. But I think a lot of the stuff I was listening to when I made my album was I was obviously listening to just albums that I love in life. I was listening to a lot of arca, a lot of Madonna.
- [52:37]
A
You love Madonna.
- [52:39]
B
I just watched Erotica.
- [52:40]
A
I've never heard Erotica, but I just watched the Glee Madonna episode last night, and I was like, damn, I really should get into Madonna.
- [52:48]
B
No, you should. You should listen to Erotica. But you should also. Have you watched Truth or Dare?
- [52:54]
A
No.
- [52:54]
B
Oh, my God.
- [52:55]
A
Is that the.
- [52:56]
B
It's like her tour documentary.
- [52:58]
A
Okay.
- [52:58]
B
And it's so amazing. You should watch that. And then you should listen to Erotica.
- [53:02]
A
Okay. And then she had them. I was watching, like, there was this tick tock. I love when people, like, really deep dive into albums. It's like, my favorite thing. Like, she listens to this podcast called. What is it? Every single album. Yeah. And, like, someone was going into Madonna's. I think it was Ray of Light. Or. No. What was. What was the one where she, like, has her hair back?
- [53:23]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [53:24]
A
Ray of Light. And they were like. That was the album that, like, changed Madonna's whole.
- [53:28]
B
Yeah, that album's pretty damn amazing.
- [53:30]
A
Yeah.
- [53:30]
B
Have you listened to it? Oh, my God. You have to.
- [53:32]
A
I know. I need.
- [53:33]
B
There's this one song on it called Little Star, and it's like, Four Lordes. So cute. And the lyric is like, never forget who you are, little star. Never forget how to dream. Butterfly. And it's really sweet.
- [53:46]
A
Oh, that's beautiful.
- [53:47]
B
It's really sweet. It was like a lullaby type of song. But it's really beautiful and, like, ethereal. I mean, all of those songs are really incredible. Ray of Light is actually a cover. Do you know that song?
- [53:57]
A
Yeah, it's a cover. By from who? Who sung it originally?
- [54:02]
B
Who is it? It's, like, kind of unknown. Like, not a lot of people know this, but it's a cover. It's like. Or like, an interpolation of.
- [54:08]
A
Right.
- [54:09]
B
That song. Really wild. But when you listen to the original, you're like, wow, you guys really saw through this, because then it turned into something just so massive and iconic, you know?
- [54:18]
A
Did you interpolate or sample anything on your album, or is it all original?
- [54:21]
B
It's all original.
- [54:22]
A
Wow. I'm really excited to hear the song where you talk about Crying in the Rain because you spoke about Elvira Avera, like, producing it on the piano, and I feel like pianos can sometimes sound like raindrops. You know what I mean? And I'm really excited.
- [54:39]
B
It's a very emotional sound. I wish I had a video of whenever they first played that for me, because it's. It's so beautiful. And, like, also, Luca and Alvira both have, like, really gorgeous singing voices, and so it's always, like, a pleasure to have them doing background vocals on my songs, too, and just hear the textures of our voices. And I'm thinking, I think it's in, like, on High Fashion. Tove is actually in some background vocals. There's this weird, like, second verse thing that happens. That's really cool, I'll tell you, because it's her voice, and it's really wild, and she deserves the. The shout out for that.
- [55:14]
A
Wasn't there some. What was the inspo? I read something the other day about the inspo behind High Fashion, and it's like. You read something on Pinterest. Yeah.
- [55:21]
B
Wait. I really wish I had the WI fi, but.
- [55:22]
A
Wait, here, give me your phone.
- [55:23]
B
It's just totally not connecting, actually. Can you try to look it up? We need an iPad.
- [55:28]
A
Yeah, we need an iPad. I love iPad.
- [55:31]
B
I do, too.
- [55:31]
A
Do you remember when we were supposed to do that? That video with the nuns? Do you remember that?
- [55:38]
B
Yeah, I really wanted to make that.
- [55:39]
A
What happened again? They, like, weren't in commission.
- [55:41]
B
They're just. Yeah, I think they were, like. Like a little tricky.
- [55:45]
A
Yeah.
- [55:46]
B
Sort out, but, yeah, that would have been so fun. We still will do that sometime.
- [55:50]
A
We will. You know, I haven't smoked in, like, six months.
- [55:52]
B
Really?
- [55:52]
A
Yeah.
- [55:53]
B
Just was there, like, a bad experience?
- [55:55]
A
I was, like, making my, Like, I was doing this, like, comedy album, and I was like, every time I would smoke, I'd be like, I don't want to put it out. I don't want to put it out. I don't want to put it out. And then I'd be like, wait, I made it.
- [56:05]
B
I'm putting it out, and I love it.
- [56:06]
A
And, like, it's coming out. So, like, why feel this way by choice?
- [56:10]
B
Totally. Totally. I know what I mean. Yeah. I totally get that feeling. Wait.
- [56:17]
A
Oh, okay.
- [56:20]
B
I saw this. And I was like, wait, I love the idea of, like, high fashion.
- [56:24]
A
And then, ah.
- [56:26]
B
I mean, you wouldn't really necessarily take this as that, but I. When I read this, I was like, wait, I want to get high fashion.
- [56:33]
A
Right? Oh, so you. Okay, you changed it.
- [56:35]
B
Yeah, it's completely. Yeah, I would better have sued. No, but this was very inspiring for us.
- [56:41]
A
Oh, that's sick. Actually, I love your references. Charlie said you have the best references. That's true. Okay, are you ready for the. Tell me what's wrong.
- [56:49]
B
Let's get somewhere. Let's come back to Earth.
- [56:53]
A
We need to. Actually, I don't want to. My boyfriend still in a friend group with his ex. They broke up only a year ago and dated for three years. Literally moved in together the whole nine yards. I'm not sure if I should be crazy about it or be chill.
- [57:06]
B
Absolutely not.
- [57:07]
A
Yeah, right. That's what I think, too.
- [57:11]
B
Be chill. Absolutely not.
- [57:12]
A
No. Like, I'm not chill.
- [57:14]
B
I'm not chill.
- [57:15]
A
How could you be? If he moved in with his ex and he's still in a friend group, He. He sees them every single day.
- [57:20]
B
No, no, no, no, no. I'm also crazy, though. Like, I'm a. My Venus is in Scorpio, so I'm really crazy and intense.
- [57:29]
A
What does your Venus and Scorpio mean? Like, what is that?
- [57:31]
B
It's like, the way you love.
- [57:33]
A
Okay.
- [57:33]
B
And so Scorpio is pretty, like, direct and intense and. And passionate and, like, all in. So that just does not work for me.
- [57:40]
A
That doesn't work for me either. I'd be like, you need to stop being friends with them.
- [57:45]
B
You're like me or them.
- [57:46]
A
No, like me or them. Seriously?
- [57:49]
B
Yeah. I just feel like. To be honest, though, I'm really direct when it comes to, like, communication and, like, talking to people. And I find a lot of closeness comes from directness. And so I try and always be really honest when I feel like a way about things and hopefully can come together. So I think if you can have a really open, honest conversation with that person, maybe. I don't know, maybe they'll understand where you're coming from. And then, yeah, can understand why you'd be uncomfortable.
- [58:12]
A
And then if they gaslight you, you can be like, you're gaslighting.
- [58:14]
B
Yeah. Call them out.
- [58:17]
A
I stopped being friends with one of my college roommates without telling her. She lets her boyfriend say awful things to our mutual friend, so I stopped reaching out. Should I have told her I'm not her friend, or did I do the right thing by Distancing myself silently. I think she should told her.
- [58:29]
B
Yeah, I think if you value that person as a long term friend, you should always.
- [58:33]
A
It doesn't sound like they do.
- [58:34]
B
No. Right. But then that's why. Okay, I actually, I think if you're not that close with that person, then I think slowly distancing yourself is kind of the right way to go about it. Because it's like, you know what? This is not going to last much longer than this was lasting. So no need to have like an argument about it or try to like fight for this person if you feel that casual about letting them go.
- [58:54]
A
Right.
- [58:54]
B
But if you value them.
- [58:56]
A
And I also feel like you have to look at it from the other. Like you have to kind of be empathetic for the other person as well. Kind of be empathetic. But like, you do because like, like.
- [59:05]
B
What was her reasoning?
- [59:06]
A
It was like he said her boyfriend says horrible things to their mutual friend, which is horrible. But like, you should tell her because like she's not gonna know what's going on.
- [59:15]
B
Totally. I know I totally.
- [59:16]
A
And like she's gonna be confused.
- [59:18]
B
Especially because it involves somebody else that's in their life that they may not know that they're acting like that and they're causing them to lose friends. It's like.
- [59:23]
A
And also, like, also like I hate. I've been in that position where like people have been upset with me and not told me why. And like that is like the worst feeling in the.
- [59:32]
B
But do you ask them? Are you like.
- [59:33]
A
Yes. And then if they don't tell you, it's like, it's like a guessing game. It's like, well, yeah, but that is.
- [59:37]
B
Like showing you who that person is. Because if they're not going to tell you why you upset them, then you know that they don't even want to work it out.
- [59:44]
A
Right.
- [59:44]
B
It's like an internal.
- [59:45]
A
Right. My co worker that I have a crush on just got assigned with me on a work project together. I'm up for a big promotion at the end of the summer if everything goes well. So how do I focus and girl boss my way through this? I think you can do both.
- [59:57]
B
I think you can do both as well. You can do it all right. You just have to be confident about it.
- [60:02]
A
I'm going into college and I'm previously from an all girls school. We'll all be living in a co ed space. Any advice on how to adjust? Was your high school, middle school all girls?
- [60:11]
B
No.
- [60:11]
A
Okay.
- [60:11]
B
I went to coed.
- [60:13]
A
I don't know Why? I thought.
- [60:14]
B
No, I think I just. Although that seems fun. Like, just a bunch of girls in. Really scary and catty, but, like, fun.
- [60:20]
A
Yeah. I feel like all girls school, if I was a girl, would scare the out of me.
- [60:23]
B
Totally. I, like, I need some masculine energy around me too. Yeah.
- [60:28]
A
Yeah. Okay, well, before I let you go, I have two questions for you.
- [60:32]
B
Okay.
- [60:33]
A
Three questions for you. Did you have fun? Yes, I had a lot of fun with you. Same.
- [60:39]
B
I totally blacked out.
- [60:40]
A
Yeah, same. I don't know what I said. I don't know what just happened. Number two. So you talk about in headphones on, like, putting your headphones on and, like, blocking out the world in terms of, like, what you're going through. Like, what is your song that you. When you put your headphones on, like, you can block out everything else.
- [60:57]
B
I. I go through phases with. With songs that help me do that. But right now, and recently, I really loved Hyper Ballad by Bjork. I think that song is so beautiful.
- [61:05]
A
I've never gotten into Bjork.
- [61:06]
B
You have to listen to this song. It's the most magical, beautiful song.
- [61:10]
A
Hyper ballad.
- [61:10]
B
Yeah.
- [61:11]
A
Okay.
- [61:12]
B
You need to listen to it, like, alone in the dark.
- [61:14]
A
Okay.
- [61:15]
B
It's really beautiful and, like, really emotional.
- [61:17]
A
Also, has, like, Charlie given you, like, any good advice, like, going into your debut?
- [61:22]
B
Yeah, I mean, Charlie gives me good advice all the time.
- [61:24]
A
Well, she helped you name Diet Pepsi now.
- [61:26]
B
Yeah, yeah, I played her Diet Pepsi and she was like, oh, why wouldn't you name it? Why wouldn't you call it Diet Pepsi? Like, much more interesting. Because I was gonna call it Backseat. I actually think Charlie has a song called Backseat too, which is funny, but which was not as exciting. But then I was like, oh, yeah, might as well, like, do that.
- [61:42]
A
And then, like, how. And were you like, oh, like. And then, like, I feel. Yeah, I feel like Diet. Like, did you always did that, like, inspire the Diet Pepsi like, imagery and, like, the. Or was it always, like, did you always, like.
- [61:54]
B
Well, it was always gonna be Diet Pepsi because first of all, I love Pepsi. Actually, my paw Paw's favorite soda was always Pepsi.
- [62:02]
A
Really?
- [62:03]
B
So I have, like, really strong memories associated with Pepsi and obviously all the amazing, iconic commercials that always existed in life and performances, super bowl performances and stuff. But, yeah, my paw Paw loved Pepsi. And so. So I, like, wanted to tie something in that, you know, made sense in that context, but also was, like, something I grew up with. So Pepsi made sense. And syllable wise, it was Diet Pepsi. And I do love Diet Pepsi. I actually think it's way better than the alternatives.
- [62:29]
A
Really.
- [62:29]
B
I actually do. I really fully believe that.
- [62:31]
A
Okay.
- [62:32]
B
I know it's shocking.
- [62:33]
A
It's. Yeah. Controversial taste.
- [62:34]
B
I know it is.
- [62:35]
A
Yeah.
- [62:35]
B
But I actually fully believe it's better. And I've actually converted some people, so.
- [62:39]
A
I feel like that's such a Louisiana thing. I feel like Britney Spears also, like, loves diet Pepsi. Totally. And like, she's always Pepsi, period.
- [62:45]
B
I think maybe it is a Southern thing, actually. It probably is super Pepsi based because. Yeah. My papa is also obviously from the South.
- [62:50]
A
Do you go home a lot?
- [62:52]
B
I try, yeah. But it's really hard and I've been working a lot. I. Yeah, I feel guilty sometimes about the lack of times I go home in the year, but I am working on prioritizing it much more.
- [63:03]
A
What's it like for you when you go home?
- [63:06]
B
It's fun.
- [63:06]
A
Yeah.
- [63:07]
B
I always see my family and try and spend time with them. My family cooks a lot and they cook really well. So I always try to go and have a home cooked meal.
- [63:15]
A
What's your favorite thing that your family will cook?
- [63:18]
B
Like rice and gravy or like gumbo? My mom makes a good.
- [63:22]
A
Gumbo is my favorite food in the entire world. When I went to Louisiana, I had four different servings of gumbo in 24 hours.
- [63:27]
B
You need to come to my families.
- [63:29]
A
Please, Please.
- [63:30]
B
You would die. My family makes the best food. Like, it's really spicy and like.
- [63:34]
A
Yep.
- [63:35]
B
Really crazy.
- [63:36]
A
I love like a scumbo with sausage and chicken over, like, jasmine rice. Yum. Like, that's like my favorite thing in the end entire.
- [63:44]
B
It's so good. And my family makes, like, really good baked beans randomly, like sweet baked beans.
- [63:51]
A
Do you. I feel like there's nowhere to get. I don't know where there's a good place to get gumbo in la. I haven't had it yet.
- [63:56]
B
No. I don't know. Yeah, I wouldn't trust it either. Yeah, you have to get somebody to make it. I feel like maybe I'll learn how to make it and we can have a little gumbo night.
- [64:03]
A
Please. You know, we never got Go Greek. Remember when we were supposed to get go Greek and we were like, once a week we'd be like, let's go, let's go. And then it just never worked out.
- [64:11]
B
I won't go Greek.
- [64:12]
A
Me too. That sounds good.
- [64:13]
B
Should we get go Greek?
- [64:14]
A
We should, we should. Okay. And Addison, what did we learn today?
- [64:19]
B
That podcasts are not as scary as I think.
- [64:22]
A
Oh, that makes me really happy that that's what you took from this, that makes me really happy. I'm serious. I learned that if you treat something as fleeting, other people will treat it as fleeting. And I think when you say you treat people the way you want to be treated, you should, that same thing should go for the ideas and the stuff you're putting out. So treat those that content and that idea the way you want it to be received.
- [64:44]
B
Yeah, yeah, I'm happy that's what you took away from.
- [64:47]
A
That is what I took away. And I love you.
- [64:50]
B
I love you.
- [64:50]
A
And I'm really excited for your album out June 6th.
- [64:53]
B
Addison, I think it's out already. So go.
- [64:55]
A
Oh yeah, it's out already.
- [64:56]
B
Listen with context.
- [64:57]
A
Listen with context. And I love you.
- [65:00]
B
I love you.
- [65:01]
A
And thank you for coming on.
- [65:02]
B
Thanks, Jade.
- [65:02]
A
Do you want to give a little bye bye.