← Therapy for Black Girls
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- [00:00]
Bria
Foreign.
- [00:10]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
I am very excited to be back for what we are now calling I Think I have Some Thoughts. So when we've done like little mini episodes before when I wanted to just talk about a particular thing, I've called it I have Some Thoughts. And so I think we're gonna stay with that name unless like we come up with something better. But we have experimented with this being a part of our typical Wednesday episodes and now we are gon to try spinning it off into its own kind of little minisode. So now you will be getting a Therapy for Black Girls episode on Wednesdays and Fridays. Very exciting. So definitely let us know how you are thinking about this, what topic you want us to discuss because we are paying attention. So you can send that to us at therapy for black girls.com mailbox and let us know your feedback about this new I have Some Thoughts minisode.
- [01:00]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
More from our conversation after the break.
- [01:02]
Co-host
This is an I Heart podcast.
- [01:05]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Guaranteed human have you heard of the Lip Bar? It's a black owned beauty brand with products that are really easy to wear and just fit into your routine. They have everything from complexion to lip and it's the kind of makeup you can put on during the day and still feel good about if you're heading out later. Their non stop liquid matte in the
- [01:22]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
shade Boss lady has been a longtime
- [01:24]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
favorite of mine and as a red I think every black woman should have in her collection. When you wear the Lip Bar, it will do what it needs to do. You can find the Lip Bar at retailers nationwide or on thelipbar.com and use the promo code TFBG for a 20% discount. The Trump administration and its backers in Congress are messing around with their health care. They already passed a law defunding Planned Parenthood that blocks Medicaid patients from getting life saving care like cancer screenings, wellness exams, birth control, STI treatment and more. And now these lawmakers want to shut down health centers by defunding Planned Parenthood permanently. Our communities deserve better. To learn how you can get involved, Text update to 22422.
- [02:07]
Bria
Mom, can I have Lingokids? Dad? Lingokids, please. When did we become the Lingokids house?
- [02:13]
Co-host
No idea. Last week it was Dinosaurs.
- [02:15]
Bria
This week it's Lingokids. Why Lingokids? Because it's the best thing ever. We can play games with astronauts, wild animals and superheroes. With more than 4000 interactive games, songs and LingoKids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids. So no dinosaurs and dinosaurs. Lingokids everything kids love Download it for free.
- [02:38]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Ready or not, here they come. The new generation of leaders is in the making, and these girls are already strong, smart, and bold. Girls, Inc. Is the leading expert on girls, and they're dedicated to helping them develop their inherent strengths and abilities, uncover new ones, and tell the world about their potential. No matter what path she chooses or dreams she has, Girls Inc. Equips each girl with experiences, skills, and confidence to succeed, whether you're ready for them or not. Visit girlsinc.org.
- [03:13]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
So Bria, what do we have on the roster for today?
- [03:17]
Co-host
Yes, a lot of super exciting stuff. So first things first, let's talk about Latto's retirement album. So if you missed it over the weekend, rapper Latto sparked a lot of conversation after she announced that her next upcoming album, Big Mama, is actually going to be her retirement album. Now this has started a lot of conversation amongst fans because she hasn't been in the game that long, as you might maybe assume. However, a lot of people are assuming she's going to be stepping back from music to focus on her new motherhood journey. So this kind of sparks a bigger conversation of why maybe women feel pressure to frame motherhood and career as opposing choices. So from your perspective, why do you think women often feel this pressure to eventually choose between professional success and family life? And why is it so hard for them to coexist?
- [04:15]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
So this is a very interesting question and I don't know that they always have to be in opposition, but what I will say is that especially as a first time mom, because I think this is her first child, right?
- [04:28]
Co-host
Yes. Yep.
- [04:29]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Yeah. Okay. So as a first time mom, I think you don't know what you don't know. And so like just from my own personal experience, when I had my first son, I definitely fully planned on like having him being off for the requisite six to eight weeks or however long I got from maternity leave because at that time I was in a full time job and so I expected to be on maternity leave and then go back in this do both at the same time. And then I don't know at what point in that postpartum journey, maybe two weeks, maybe a month into it, I realized I actually did not want to go back to work.
- [05:03]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [05:04]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
At least not in the same way. And so I think again, I fully plan to kind of do both. But I think for some women something changes after the little one gets here. You know, again seeking for myself the idea of, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have my baby with, you know, a babysitter or in. In nursery school. Like, I think that there's just a lot happening hormonally and kind of just a lot going on again, especially for your first child. And so I think some women go into it with a plan, maybe to return back to work at the same pace, and then you realize afterwards that you don't want to. But I also think that sometimes priorities just shift in that you decide, you know what, this is something that I want to devote myself to fully right now. And then if I decide that I want career to come back on board at some point, then I can make that decision then. But I don't think it has to be in opposition. And I don't think any choice is right or wrong. Right. It is really just about what works for you and what works for your family. So what is some of the commentary? Are people saying like, oh, she shouldn't have to choose, or I think it's a mix.
- [06:06]
Co-host
So I think it's the general conversation of once kids start to enter the picture, women, a lot of women choose to step back from their careers. A lot of the conversation is also surrounding the fact that she's been putting out music for a while. So I won't say that she's brand new to the game, but at the same time, she is still pretty young. And people are wondering, like, the announcement of a retirement album felt a little jarring because it was just she's, I think, put out three official studio albums and she's been putting out mixtapes before that. But I think a lot of people, myself included, are fans of Lotto and know how good she is at what she does. And it's like, oh, like, you're almost there kind of thing.
- [06:45]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
So, yeah, yeah, I mean, it could be a temporary kind kind of thing, you know, and she decides maybe when the baby's a little older that she wants to come back. But I do think, again, I don't know if this was something planned or if the baby is here yet, but I do think, like I said, for me, I had every intention of going back to work full time. And then my baby got here. I was like, absolutely not. I actually don't want to. To do that. And so I. I think a lot just changes in the postpartum aspect. And, you know, people just kind of shift priorities maybe, for sure.
- [07:16]
Co-host
And I think in that same vein, how would you recommend for women who are maybe faced decision, how would you recommend being able to delineate between I need this temporary rest or I just need to like, Take some time versus maybe wanting to abandon or just divert their path completely.
- [07:36]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Yeah, I think in the kind of short run, you don't always know. Right. Especially kind of immediately after baby gets here. It does feel like a day to day kind of thing. So I think you won't always know, like, if this is something that is a temporary break versus something that is more long term. Like, I think for me, I did leave my job, but then I think once they got a little older, then I felt like, okay, I'm feeling a little more rested now. I'm feeling like I have more energy now. And so then it did become, well, therapy for black girls. It took off also in the postpartum period. And so then I felt, okay, I'm ready to kind of go back to something full time at the same time as I'm raising the kids. And so I think you really just have to give yourself sometimes I feel it out and not feel pressured to make any decision one way or the other. I'm also aware that this is comes with an incredible amount of privilege. Right. Like that I had the opportunity to step back, that not everyone will necessarily have that choice. But if you find yourself with the ability to make that choice and you don't absolutely have to go back to work, I think it's okay to kind of make. Take some time to think about what is going to be my next step. And even if you decide, you know what, I'm going straight back to my career, that you can give yourself permission to change your mind at any time, one way or the other. Right. Like, it doesn't have to be, I make a decision and now I got to stick with it. It's also okay for you to change your mind at any given point when you feel like you, what, something else might really work better for me and my family right now?
- [09:00]
Co-host
No, for sure. I love that. I love that. So for our next topic, we have Allison Felix returning to the sport of track and field. So after announcing her retirement from track back in 2022, Allison Felix announced that she is returning to the sport to pursue a spot at the 2028 Olympic Games. Now, a lot of us, myself included, are very excited for Allison's return. However, there has been a conversation brewing online questioning whether at 40 years old, she's too old to be competing. I think this sparked a much broader conversation about age and how age may impact confidence and ambition and things of that nature. And is aging really a thing? Is it really a barrier to pursuing what it is that you're dreaming for and hoping for. But what narratives do you see that women especially receive about aging when it comes to aging out of certain dreams or certain identities?
- [10:02]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
I think that the nuance for this conversation is that if you were doing something like going back to school or something, I think it's never too late to pursue those kinds of dreams. I think because this is a physical, like a sport, then that may be a more important part of the conversation. But I trust that Allison has continued to take really good care of her body. I'm sure she has an excellent team. And I think this is one of those things. Things where if she didn't try it, I think she would always have these regrets about what if should I have tried that in 2028 if I felt like I physically could? Right. And so I'm also really excited to see that she's going for it. And, you know, I think that it also opens up possibilities for other people to think about, like, what kind of limiting beliefs do I have about myself that I might also need to push myself past? Because Allison is going for this thing. Right. Whether she is successful in making the team or not, I think it is a really cool idea that she going for it. And I think, you know, usually as you are get older, like, there's an increase in confidence. Right. So you said aging sometimes, like, oh, can I still do this? And I think usually as you get older, you get more confident. And so I'm sure that she is stepping into this with a different kind of confidence and know how, given her previous experience with competing and being on Olympic teams. So I'm really excited to see that she is going for it and really cheering for her.
- [11:26]
Co-host
Yeah. Especially with the 2028 Olympics being in the US it's like, this is routine for her.
- [11:32]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Exactly, exactly. It's like, why not? Why not try? Right? Like, what else? You know, like, she knows what it takes to kind of be there. Like, and I think the pressure that sometimes exists with this, that could exist for the. With this for her, could be, am I as fast as I used to be? You know, like, what if I can't cut it? Kind of thing. I'm sure she's having those kinds of conversations, but again, you don't know unless you try. And I think that that is well worth it to actually just give it a try.
- [11:59]
Co-host
For sure. For sure. And in that same vein, like, why we talked a little bit about aging and that increasing your confidence in some cases, but sometimes you might feel, am I too old to be doing this? For people who may come across those different emotions and feelings. Why does it feel so emotionally vulnerable to start over or return to a past passion after walking away from it for so long?
- [12:24]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Yeah, I think the vulnerability to get back into a thing is really, really significant. Right. Because again, I think it comes with a lot of questions of can I still do this? Am I still good enough? What if I fail? Right. And like, nobody wants to sign up to not do well at something necessarily. Right. Like, most of us kind of want to be primed for success. And so I think it just makes us feel really vulnerable to kind of put ourselves in a position where we may not be successful, especially if we've had a track record of being really successful before. Right. And so what does this now mean for like, my legacy, my story, if I'm not as good now as I was then? But again, I think the bigger story is always being brave enough to put yourself out there and to trust that your legacy will stand, regardless of what may happen in the future. I just think it's a really powerful lesson in never being too late for going after the things that feel important to you.
- [13:18]
Co-host
No, absolutely. I totally agree. I'm very excited to see her return. I know she's gonna, I'm calling it in. She's gonna make it to the Olympics, so I would love to see that.
- [13:28]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
More from our conversation after the break. Have you heard of the Lip Bar? It's a black owned beauty brand with products that are really easy to wear and just fit into your routine. They have everything from complexion to lip and it's the kind of makeup you can put on during the day and still feel good about if you're heading out later. Their non stop liquid matte in the
- [13:46]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
shade boss lady has been a long
- [13:48]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
time favorite of mine and is a red I think every black woman should have in her collection. When you wear the Lip Bar, it will do what it needs to do. You can find the Lip Bar at retailers nationwide or on thelipbar.com and use the promo code TFBG for a 20% discount. Everyone deserves access to high quality, affordable healthcare, no matter what. That's why millions of people rely on Planned Parenthood health centers for services like cancer screenings, wellness exams, birth control, STI tests, and more. In fact, one in three women in the US have been to Planned Parenthood for care. So it kind of blows my mind that lawmakers are trying to permanently shut them down. They already passed a law that blocks patients that use Medicaid from getting the affordable preventative care they need and now they want to make that law permanent. Nobody benefits when people are getting fewer exams, paying more for care, or just skipping the health care they need. And we know that's happening. Planned Parenthood health centers have reported that fewer patients are getting basic care like breast exams and STI tests since the Trump administration and their backers defunded Planned Parenthood. Patients shouldn't suffer because of their laws. Our communities deserve better to get involved. Text update to 22422 mom, can I have Lingokids?
- [15:05]
Bria
That's Lingokids, please. When did we become the Lingokids house?
- [15:09]
Co-host
No idea. Last week it was dinosaurs.
- [15:11]
Bria
This week it's Lingokids. Why lingokids? Because it's the best thing ever. We can play games with astronauts, wild animals and superheroes. With more than 4,000 interactive games, songs and shows, LingoKids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids. So no dinosaurs and dinosaurs.
- [15:29]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Lingokids.
- [15:30]
Bria
Everything kids love. Download it for free.
- [15:34]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Ready or not, here they come. The new generation of leaders is in the making. And these girls are already strong, smart and bold. Girls Inc. Is the leading expert on girls and they're dedicated to helping them develop their inherent strengths and abilities, uncover new ones, and tell the world about their potential. No matter what path she chooses or dreams she has, Girls Inc. Equips each girl with experiences, skills and confidence to succeed whether you're ready for them or not. Visit girlsinc.org.
- [16:09]
Co-host
And then for our last topic, if you didn't hear over the last few days there's been news of a deadly outbreak of hantavirus that has been circulating. So it started on a cruise ship and while as the time we're recording this it's been reported that risk to the public is very low. I think there was one US resident on the ship and he is been transported back to the US but he is fully in quarantine and being monitored and all of that type of stuff. It still feels very, very familiar to what we saw back in 2020 when coronavirus outbreak started. So I think this kind of just feels like deja vu all over again. It really just started a lot of conversations of what do we do when the world just never feels like it's really going to stabilize. And so I'm interested from your perspective, how do you think the 2020 pandemic changed people's nervous systems and sense of SAF long term. So I feel like a lot of people are immediately kind of reverting back to like we've seen this before kind of thing.
- [17:11]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Yeah, I Don't know that we have ever recovered, honestly, post 2020 and all of what happened with the COVID pandemic. And you know, usually when there is like an emergency situation, there is like the situation, the alarms go off, your body responds, your mind responds, and then there is like an all clear to let you know that you can reset and go back to, you know, normal resting. Right. Like, so blood pressure resumes, your heart rate decreases, like all of your functions get back online. And what I feel like has happened since 2020 is that we never really got back to like, resting police.
- [17:49]
Co-host
Yeah, right.
- [17:49]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
It feels like there was all of these kind of starts and stops with the pandemic in terms of like information coming out. And then the political landscape was a mess. And I mean, it was just so much going on and I think it became really difficult to figure out, like, how do I keep myself safe? And I also think that wasn't helped by the destruction of public safety and public health information. Right. Like, you know, the CDC and like the government, NIH and all of those, like, places we would look to for like solid information and like credible public health information all of a sudden became questionable because of the politics. Right. And so I think that that has also made it so we don't really know like, where to actually get credible health information. You know, I've also been reading that all the people who had been employed by the CDC who would have been responsible for the US's response to something like this have been fired.
- [18:45]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Right.
- [18:46]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
And so I think that that doesn't help us to think about, okay, is this something that I should be worried about or is this something that only impacts me if I was on the cruise ship, Like, I feel like all of that is still up in the air, which also always feels very concerning. And so I think that does not help us to kind of have our nervous system rested because we don't actually know if this is a credible threat or not.
- [19:09]
Co-host
For sure. Yeah. And I think that, like, thinking back to the 2020 pandemic, that's really how it started too, where it was like, this is obviously a lot of people lost their lives from COVID but we didn't really know how to like, decipher some of that information. And then things were coming out in piecemeal. It's like, you can go outside, never mind, you can't. You have to wear a mask. No, you. Never mind. You don't like that kind of thing. So I think, like, for the next question, like, how can people maintain emotional grounding during these periods of collective fear where it feels like you don't really know what's going on, but at the same time, life kind of has to keep moving.
- [19:47]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Yeah. So one of the things, and y' all have definitely heard me talk about this before, is being mindful of how much you're engaging with the news, both traditional news and social media. Because we know that like the algorithm is primed to make you afraid.
- [20:03]
Co-host
Right.
- [20:03]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
You know, we know that sometimes bad actors will step in and realize, like, oh, I can monetize people's fear about this thing and not actually be having accurate information. And so do be careful of where you're getting your news related to this virus from. Is it a credible source? And even if it is a credible source, do you need to be checking it every hour?
- [20:24]
Co-host
Right.
- [20:25]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Because that often will just heighten our sense of anxiety and doesn't it will sometimes keep you kind of stuck in terms of a plan. And so you're spending a lot of time just reading information and consuming information as opposed to, okay, here's my plan for should something happen, here's where I can get credible information from. As always, like, black women are my North Star. And so even during the COVID pandemic, I was kind of looking at like this panel of black women epidemiologists and public health people as the people I could go to for credible information. And so Dr. Tatanji, who is actually somebody who joined us on the podcast, it might have been a podcast episode, but it might have been a Facebook live. But very early on in the pandemic, she was somebody who I spoke with about, okay, is this a concern? We should have a conversation around the, the vaccine. Right. When of course, people had questions about the vaccine. So Dr. Satanji is a board certified infectious disease and internal medicine physician. So she is an MD in that. And she also has a PhD in virology. So she has been very active on threads and we will include information in the show notes. So she is somebody who I am looking to for my information around should I be concerned about this, like, what's going on? And I trust that information coming from her. And you know, she is somebody who does not proclaim to have all the answers. But like, this is her lane. And so I trust that she has information is also sharing really good resources. And so I think again, finding those sources and those practitioners who, this is their thing, following them, but also not following them too closely so that you're getting minute to minute updates unless the situation changes and we need to be there I think can go a really long way in helping you to be grounded. Also continuing to make sure you have physical activity, make sure that you are connecting with your support system. Like all of the things we talked about in Covid. And again, this is not raised to the level of the COVID concern, but I understand of course why people are anxious and are we getting to that place. All of the things that you know that you needed to do to kind of keep yourself grounded I think could also be helpful in this situation.
- [22:36]
Co-host
No, I totally agree. I feel like there was a lot that we could learn at least from the 2020 pandemic and just how we managed it then versus even like internally how it is that we go against these types of announcements moving forward.
- [22:49]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Exactly. Thank you for those questions and those topics, Bria. I always appreciate hearing what's on people's minds right now. As I stated, if there are topics that you want to talk about, things that you are seeing in the news that you want to hear my thoughts on, if I have any, we would love to hear that. You can send that to us again at therapy for black girls.com mailbox perfect
- [23:13]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
have you heard of the Lip Bar? It's a black owned beauty brand with products that are really easy to wear and just fit into your routine. They have everything from complexion to lip and it's the kind of makeup you can put on during the day and still feel good about if you're heading out later. Their non stop liquid matte in the
- [23:29]
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
shade Boss lady has been a long
- [23:31]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
time favorite of mine and as a red I think every black woman should have in her collection. When you wear the Lip Bar it will do what it needs to do. You can find the Lip Bar at retailers nationwide or on thelipbar.com and use the promo code TFBG for a 20% discount. The Trump administration and its backers in Congress are messing around with their healthcare. They already passed a law defunding Planned Parenthood that blocks Medicaid patients from getting life saving care like cancer screenings, wellness exams, birth control, STI treatment and more. And now these lawmakers want to shut down health centers by defunding Planned Parenthood permanently. Our communities deserve better. To learn how you can get involved, Text update to 22422 mom can I have Lingokids?
- [24:15]
Bria
Dad Lingokids please. When did we become the Lingokids House?
- [24:19]
Co-host
No idea. Last week it was dinosaurs.
- [24:22]
Bria
This weekend. Lingo kids. Why Lingokids? Because it's the best thing ever. We can play games with astronauts, wild animals and superheroes. With more than 4,000 interactive games, songs and shows, LingoKids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids. So no dinosaurs and dinosaurs, lingo kids. Everything kids love. Download it for free.
- [24:45]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Ready or not, here they come. The new generation of leaders is in the making, and these girls are already strong, smart, and bold. Girls, Inc. Is the leading expert on girls, and they're dedicated to helping them develop their inherent strengths and abilities, uncover new ones, and tell the world about their potential. No matter what path she chooses or dreams she has, Girls Inc. Equips each girl with experiences, skills, and confidence to succeed, whether you're ready for them or not. Visit girlsinc.org this is an iHeart podcast.
- [25:18]
Co-host
Guaranteed human.