← Therapy for Black Girls
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- [00:11]
Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford
Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website@therapyforblackgirls.com while I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional.
- [00:56]
Host of Therapy for Black Girls Podcast (likely Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford or a co-host)
Hey y', all, thanks so much for joining me for session 465 of the therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation after a word from our sponsors. This is an iHeart podcast, guaranteed human
- [01:15]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
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- [02:51]
Have you heard of the Lip Bar? It's a black owned beauty brand with products that are really easy to wear
- [02:56]
and just fit into your routine.
- [02:58]
They have everything from complexion to lip
- [03:00]
and it's the kind of makeup you can put on during the day and
- [03:02]
still feel good about if you're heading out later. Their non stop liquid Matte in the Shade Boss lady has been a long time favorite of mine and as a red I think every black woman should have in her collection. When you wear the lip bar, it will do what it needs to do you. You can find the lip bar at retailers nationwide or on thelipbar.com and use
- [03:21]
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- [03:58]
Host of Therapy for Black Girls Podcast (likely Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford or a co-host)
what does it look like to build a creative career online without completely losing yourself in the process? Today I'm joined by creator and beauty influencer Toni Bravo for a conversation about creativity, visibility, rest and the involving relationship many of us have with work in the age of social media. Many of us first discovered Toni through her beauty content and signature blush looks, but her platform has continued to evolve into a beautifully curated lifestyle space centered around curiosity, creativity and intentional living. During our conversation, Toni shares what it's been like navigating visibility online, how she protects her mental health while working in such a public facing industry, and why rest has become such an important part of her creative process. We also discuss representation in the beauty industry, the importance of darker skinned creators being able to take up space online, and how Toni has learned to trust herself creatively as her career continues to grow. She also opens up about burnout boundaries with social media, mindfulness practices and the realities of building a career where work and play can sometimes feel impossible to separate. If something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share it with us on social media using the hashtag tbginsession. Or join us over at our Patreon to talk more about the episode. You can join us at community.therapy for black girls.com here's our conversation.
- [05:27]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Thank you so much for joining us today Toni.
- [05:30]
Toni Bravo
Thank you for having me. I'm excited.
- [05:32]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah, so many of us were first introduced to you as a Beauty creator. But you have now started sharing more about your home and lifestyle kinds of things. So how would you describe the kind of content that you create?
- [05:44]
Toni Bravo
You did a great job describing it. I think lifestyle is a really great way to kind of encapsulate it because it feels expansive of wherever in my life at that moment, whatever I feel like sharing. So it's a malleable kind of world that exists within lifestyle. Lifestyles. I feel like just the easiest kind of if I had to slap a label on it. But I just like to have fun with it and I'm glad that it shows. I think it shows through the content.
- [06:09]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Do you feel like there's a particular feeling you'd like people to have when they engage with your content?
- [06:15]
Toni Bravo
I feel like feeling wise. I like curiosity, intrigue is really fun, especially when it comes to, like, foods people have never tried before or colors and shades people haven't tried before. I think like, a genuine curiosity is exciting and then also kind of just like a calmed, like, assuredness. Because I do feel like all of my content, as a little bit of everything as it is, it all makes sense. So I hope that that also comes through.
- [06:43]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah. And definitely when you think about, like, your home, like, the gorgeous pictures of your home feel very calm and, like, engaging. So I can see that.
- [06:50]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Thank you.
- [06:51]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah. Yeah. So we know that you have a history of kind of working inside the beauty industry and now have become more kind of public facing. Is that something that you always saw for yourself, level of visibility, or is this something that kind of happened along the way?
- [07:06]
Toni Bravo
That's a great question. I mean, I had been working only behind the scenes for, like, six months. And besides that, I'd always had a relationship with being in front of the camera. So that's existed since I was very young and I studied film in college. So I always had an idea that whether I was like, in front or behind a camera, there would be a visibility element attached to it. It wasn't necessarily something I was aiming for. I think it just became a medium that was obviously, I mean, at my fingertips with my phone and all of those things. So it was something that I don't think I necessarily, like, built around, but became a really cool avenue to express myself. And I have constantly found myself in front of the camera throughout my entire life. So it makes sense. It made sense.
- [07:53]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
So it feels comfortable for you. It's not something that you feel like has been like a big stretch.
- [07:58]
Toni Bravo
Yeah, not at all. I think there have been times where I've bounced in and out of being more public and being more private before I got into, like, the beauty of it all. So it's been fun to do a little back and forth, but it feels all very natural. It's fun. I have so much fun.
- [08:12]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah. So lots of other creators with large platforms have talked about the ways that they navigate their mental health with this level of visibility.
- [08:20]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Right.
- [08:21]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Like, there is something very unnatural, I think, about the ways that like people, especially with the kind of content you make.
- [08:27]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Right.
- [08:27]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Like, it's very intimate in some ways, and then you're like, very public and very visible. So what has that been like for you and how have you navigated your mental health with relationship to that?
- [08:38]
Toni Bravo
The biggest thing that I think people talk about, but you don't really experience as much, especially when you're creating your own schedule or you become your own boss, is time management and how important time management is, because this is kind of a space where creatively, it's really hard to decipher when rest begins, when you start up again, it's really hard to decipher kind of those spaces. So for me, mentally and really navigating that from a place that felt sustainable, it was always really important for me to be a mindful about what I'm sharing, how much of my personal life I'm sharing, how much of my personal life I'm not sharing. And then also breaks and rest that aren't centered around work, because I do think I'm someone that I love what I do, I love working, I love getting things done. But I think the winding down was really difficult for me because it bled into the rest, where rest wasn't necessarily rest. It was rest that was happening so that I could be more productive instead of it just being that. So kind of reframing that and centering my rest and my, like, time away to just be that whether it's productive or not has been really, really, really, really helpful. Especially because it's really easy to get so obsessed with getting so much done that I think the rest and the time away and the breaks and the. The community around you, it's like I would have lost my mind by now had it not been for all of those things. So it's a mindset thing, It's a restfulness thing, and also just an intentionality behind what you're sharing. The cadence, all of that comes into play. So it's a mixture of things that I think takes time to really hone in on and figure out, because there's no perfect formula for everybody. So I do feel like that was like kind of one of the challenging elements of it all. But rest, rest and rest for sure, whenever I can.
- [10:26]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
And what kinds of things have really helped you to support, like the time management piece and being able to get that rest?
- [10:32]
Toni Bravo
Well, delegation is very important, I think. Thankfully, as I've started doing this full time, I've always been able to have a team behind me that's been very helpful in terms of organization. And I mean, it gets to a point where you can't do everything on your own all the time. So that's really helpful in allowing people to help you is really, really helpful. And then having maybe like little rituals that I do for myself in the morning at the end of the day when it comes to turning myself off, like not being on social media for an hour, hour before bed and an hour when I wake up, like little things like that, that kind of benchmark my days without it feeling like I'm ending it with work and beginning it with work has been really helpful.
- [11:17]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
So now when you engage with social media, it almost always feels like work. Like, is there any part of you that feels like social is still fun?
- [11:24]
Toni Bravo
Yeah. Oh, it's always so fun. And it's only gotten more fun for me, being able to create as well. Like, consuming has always been fun and that will always be fun. But it got even more exciting, which is perfect, but is also one of those things where I'm watching things and then I'm always also thinking about how I can create things instead of just consuming it to consume. So it's all very fun. It's just a matter of being aware of creating the balance for myself where not everything is work all the time. But it's easy to go down a black hole of scrolling where you're not thinking about work. It's kind of built that way. So there are many times where that happens for sure. But it's all very fun. I think it's just the balance for me that that helps.
- [12:06]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
And you mentioned how important it has been around setting boundaries about what you share and what kinds of things you share. How do you draw that line and set those boundaries?
- [12:15]
Toni Bravo
I think all of that is so instinctual. I think naturally, everybody who shares anything about anything, whether it's online or not online, you know what feels right, you know, it feels like it makes sense. You know, it feels comfortable for you. So for me, it's always been kind of a gut thing and also an idea of just understanding that when you're working in a space where you are either a brand you're forward facing, whatever it might be. There's so much of your life that you are sharing with other people that it's just as important that you keep just as much, if not more of your personal life to yourself and you have things that you can keep for yourself. So I think reframing it from, again, not hiding anything, but just keeping things and having things belong to you in a space that demands so much of you has been a really great reminder for me that, like, it's not a crime to keep things to yourself. It's not a crime to have things that are just for you. And I think that balance has been really, really, really helpful, especially when it can be really hard to draw that line. But for me, it's always been the gut situation where I'm like, do I want to share this? Do I not? And usually within a second or two, I know the answer, so I kind of just follow that.
- [13:21]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
So, so much of your beauty content especially answers the question like, does this work with my shade? Right. So how has your relationship and your ideas about like representation, especially as a darker skinned woman, informed your relationship to the beauty industry?
- [13:37]
Toni Bravo
Yeah, I mean, I've learned so much. I think from the very beginning to now, I've learned so much about the, the product development and how much time and effort and the mindsets that go behind these things. I've learned so much from a back end perspective that I think has allowed me to better understand like why we're at where we're at now, why we were at where we were before, which has been very, very, very helpful. But today I think I've just gone with the more products you try, the more you figure out what you like. I've just gotten even more picky. I think I was picky before, but now I've gotten even more particular about what I like and why. And now that I kind of know a lot more about what goes on in the back end. I think I'm a little critical now in a way that isn't just rooted in something not working for me. It's a kind of critical that has been built from me knowing exactly what should have been done and knowing that it's not being done because I've seen how it works and how it doesn't. That I think it's made me a little bit more critical in a good way about the brands that are doing it wrong, that come from the knowledge that I've been able to learn. So it's been helpful to know that you know, a lot of these things that we want to see done and these changes that we want to see happen are very possible, and there are people that will listen. But within that, I think I've just gotten even more particular about the brands that I choose to work with, the brands that I choose to share, and the brands I choose to champion for that reason.
- [15:01]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
What's the one thing that you feel like you've learned that has really illuminated, like, oh, this is how this was done. Or, like, oh, my gosh, never would have thought that. Is there anything that comes to mind?
- [15:10]
Toni Bravo
Probably the first thing that I think blew my mind was how long the process is. I think online it's really easy to assume you see one brand come out with one thing, and then you see another brand come out, like, the next week, and you're like, they just copied that brand. And it's really easy to kind of run with that. But these products and the whole product development situation takes so much time. It takes so much time, and it's not an overnight situation. I think when I was really started getting into learning how things are made and understanding the creative, not only just the creative, but a lot of the corporate stuff that goes along with the retailers takes a long time. It's such a long process to even come out with, like, one singular product, let alone color. So, like, there's so much. So much time involved that shocked me right off the bat. Which also, again, allows for also time for you to be critical about what shades you're creating and why. Because when you know it takes that long, you have enough time to really sit with the whys of your shade story. So I think that allowed me to even, again, kind of be more critical about when we have these missteps and things happening, because I know there's so much time there to, like, sit and think and talk and understand that just wasn't utilized. So I think the time element was the biggest, like, wow, okay. This takes at times, years. Years. So a lot more appreciation there.
- [16:31]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah. And you mentioned you're very intentional about, like, the partnerships and the brands that you work with. Do you feel like overall brands have open to the criticism and feedback you've
- [16:41]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
given them, particularly around, like, shade ranges?
- [16:44]
Toni Bravo
I think most brands are. I think every brand obviously says they champion inclusivity and diversity, but I think the ways they go about fixing things says more than their mission statement. So a lot of the times there will be brands and they're like, thank you so much for saying this. And I see this with people who make it not like, just with my videos, but brands interacting with other people. Thank you so much for sharing this. And they, like, take the feedback. They're aware of it. And then there are brands where I think they get very upset, as if the creator made the product and the creator bought the product to try themselves. So it's a really interesting kind of reaction where, you know, a brand will get upset or they'll kind of, like, ignore that feedback and just go with all the positive feedback. And it's interesting because then you can really see if people mean what they say. But I think it's, for the most part, for me, the brands that I at least work with typically are incredibly open and welcome 100% honesty, because that's kind of the only way to move forward. So most brands, I would say, are pretty. Especially now. Especially now with so much Internet critique about every product. I think brands are getting used to it, if nothing else.
- [17:54]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
So Blush, or Rouge, as my grandmother used to call it, has become a signature for you, and you have a gorgeous color on today. Can you talk about, like, the role that this product kind of plays in terms of your journey?
- [18:07]
Toni Bravo
Yeah, I mean, color was one of the things that terrified me right off the bat. I was not a huge Blush wearer, so the fact that it kind of terrified me was the very reason I was like, okay, we have to start with this. Like, I have to begin with this. And that's where the very first video started. And then blush just became a part of my initial, like, beauty story Online, I think there's something about seeing the effect right away and the color. I think there's something really captivating in real life and online that kind of translates that I wasn't fully aware of when I was doing it, but I realized I was interested in those videos and watching back those videos. And I think color played a really huge part in that. I think when it comes to getting into makeup again, because at the time, I wasn't even wearing makeup on a regular basis, color and complexion were the two things that terrified me the most. So we dived right in with the color moment. And Blush is fun because there's so many different kinds of colors, and I had so many misconceptions about what blushes I would like and what looked good on me. So it became this journey that I was allowing other people to join me on, and. And. And people found it fun, and I found it so fun, so I just kept going, and it's now become something that I just cannot do. My makeup Without. So it's funny how that works.
- [19:20]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah, yeah. Any tips for people trying to find, like, their kind of maybe signature blush color?
- [19:26]
Toni Bravo
Oh, you have to try them all. Like, you have to try them all. You can't find your signature anything without dipping and dabbling in a few different things and versions. So for me, I think you can find your signature first by leaning into how much you want before going into the color. Because if you're someone that wants something big and bright and vibrant, you're going to be looking at this specific spectrum of reds and pinks and oranges, Right? But if you want something with depth and you want that bronzy color, then you're to be looking at this kind of spectrum. Maybe like deeper purples and more auburny reds and bronzer blonders. Like, so I think first starting off with, okay, well, how much blush do you like? Is a really great place to start. And then from there you can play around with the color story a little bit, because every blush can have its brightness or its depth. But I think when you first start with, okay, well, what kind of blush moment are you looking for? Is really great place to begin, I think. More from our conversation after the break.
- [20:31]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
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- [22:13]
Have you heard of the Lip Bar? It's a black owned beauty brand with products that are really easy to wear
- [22:17]
and just fit into your routine.
- [22:19]
They have everything from complexion to lip
- [22:21]
and it's the kind of makeup you can put on during the day and
- [22:24]
still feel good about if you're heading out later. Their non stop liquid matte in the Shade Boss lady has been a long time favorite of mine and as a red I think every black woman should have in her collection. When you wear the Lip bar, it will do what it needs to do. You can find the Lip Bar at retailers nationwide or on thelipbar.com and use
- [22:42]
the promo code TFBG for a 20% discount. Everyone deserves access to high quality, affordable health care, no matter what. That's why millions of people rely on Planned Parenthood health centers for services like cancer screenings, wellness exams, birth control, STI tests, and more. In fact, one in three women in the US have been to Planned Parenthood for care. So it kind of blows my mind that lawmakers are trying to permanently shut them down. They already passed a law that blocks patients that use Medicaid from getting the affordable preventative care they need, and now they want to make that law permanent. Nobody benefits when people are getting fewer exams, paying more for care, or just giving the health care they need. And we know that's happening. Planned Parenthood health centers have reported that fewer patients are getting basic care like breast exams and STI tests since the Trump administration and their backers defunded Planned Parenthood. Patients shouldn't suffer because of their laws. Our communities deserve better to get involved. Text update to 22422.
- [23:49]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
When you think about Tony of today, do you wish that there was something that younger you understood about, like work and where life has taken you?
- [23:58]
Toni Bravo
I feel like so much of who I am today is so very similar to who I was when I was younger. Like I loved creating things. I was writing and having my family read scripts that I was writing and I was editing them on our family computer every day like always doing something. So I think the time management and balance element is something that I would definitely want to implement even sooner. I was having fun with it then. But then as you get older, high school, college, you have all these different responsibilities, I think the balance really becomes tested, especially now post college. So maybe like balancing as a kid, I think I would genuinely be surprised at how much my work and play have become so intermatched, because I think back then there was so much of a separation, so I would just enjoy that separation for a lot longer because now it's. It's so intermeshed. And I think that's something with. Just specifically to my career. Everything becomes so. It feels so the same. So it's easy to think you have a social life when half of your job obligations are social, but that's not your real social life. That's work. There's so many of those elements of rest and separation between personal and work that I think back then were so much easier to decipher between. I think we've gotten to a place too, where now people are having conversations about that and burnout and all of those things. So looking back at younger me, I was like, wow. Work and play just felt like two very different worlds to me at times. And sometimes I would. I'd have so much fun in the work element of it, but it was all play at the end of the day. So I think that, like, the ability just to decipher between the two and not have them be too intermeshed now is the skill that I think maybe in college, even in late high school, I would have been like, let's hone in on some mindfulness practices. Something, something.
- [25:48]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah. You talked a lot about creative endeavors that you had early on. It sounds like writing and filmmaking. Was makeup a part of your journey as a young person too? Or is that something you kind of started to play with later?
- [26:00]
Toni Bravo
It was in, like the 2016 YouTube makeup era. I was like, for a very short time, for like a year, really into it. But then it just became really hard to have access to because I wasn't going to, like, fancy places to buy my makeup. I was going all drugstore and it got really difficult to find shades that worked for me that I kind of was just like. So after about a year, I just like, stopped with the full makeup. But I was going to school in like full beads, like pink eyeshadow. Like I was doing the whole thing. And then I just got tired of it. And I got tired of trying to like, figure out this shade and that should not having access to it. And then I also, right after that, there was like a gap where I just was really active. So I was a roller skater and I wasn't wearing makeup anymore. So it came in phases. And then I stopped really wearing makeup for a while until I started working in beauty again. It's had its like, moments for sure in my life, but this is the longest by far that I've been in the beauty of it all that it's stuck this long for sure.
- [27:03]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
We've already talked about so much of your content. Being around shade matching, do you feel like your representation as a darker skinned woman, does that feel like something that you welcome as a part of kind of your journey? Or does that at times feel like a burden?
- [27:16]
Toni Bravo
Never a burden. I think all the elements of my life and myself that I've shared with the Internet, I'm incredibly proud of. I think being able to have so many different, like, worlds within the universe that I've created is so important because I am not one dimensional. And I think all elements of my identity that I choose to share with the Internet, I never feel like it is something that's being thrown back at me. And again, that does come with an intentionality when it came to sharing anything at all. I mean, there are people who still remember me from my roller skating days and most people don't even remember that. So there's so many elements of my life that I remember sharing and hobbies and endeavors that I'm never feeling like any of it's a burden in regards to beauty and having representation in that space. I mean, that was the whole reason I even started making beauty content was because there was a huge lack of seeing people who looked like me try out products. And at that time, I wasn't even consuming short form. So when I started having to consume short form again because I deleted all of my short form for like a year, I deleted TikTok, Instagram. So I wasn't like in that world. And then as soon as I got that job, I was like, okay, well now it's my job to have my finger on the pulse of what's going on. And I was realizing just how little representation there was still. So then I just decided to take up space and that's where that was born. So it'll never be a burden. I think if anything, it was such an important genesis to who I became on the Internet as an adult. Because when I was younger it was very frivolous and fun. And I think when the anchor is just, you're having fun with it, it's cute and it's fun and it feels very frivolous. But that was the beginning of something that felt like there was an anchored reason as to why it was showing up outside of just makeup and blush and beauty. So I'm always grateful for it. And I think beauty, no matter what I'm talking about, always becomes a part of the conversation. I can be sitting somewhere and there's a comment about blush or, like, I'm eating, and there's a comment about my makeup. Beauty will always be a part of the story.
- [29:14]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
And.
- [29:15]
Toni Bravo
And I think meeting and having an audience of people who look like me and who are able to learn more about beauty through me is something that I think will always be. No matter what I end up landing on next, what the next thing is, will always be a part of the story. So it's all very exciting, and I feel very, very lucky and grateful to have so many people that trust me in that journey, because it's a long one. It's a long journey, so I feel very grateful.
- [29:41]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah. And, you know, you bring that up, and I want to talk with you about, you know, you talked about, like, your degree being in film, and I think a lot of the creators that we are seeing now kind of fell into content creation.
- [29:51]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Right?
- [29:51]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Because this thing that happened and it stuck, and then it's, oh, okay, I'll roll with this. Right. Whereas young people now, you talk to, you know, middle schoolers, high schoolers, like, their career aspirations are content creation, which I think is a very different journey. What kinds of things would you say to young people who are aspiring to be content creators? Creators?
- [30:09]
Toni Bravo
My biggest advice would be to understand that you can create your own path, and your path to success is not going to look like that person's or that person's, and to really try to have your imprint be you and your personality and less copying and pasting. You are so much stronger on your own versus as a carbon copy of someone else. Also, oh, God, it's really hard to even imagine being younger and, like, having a time full phone to record with. I had my little flip camera that I had at my house, but, like, I didn't have something I was carrying around with me. Being able to, like, see myself so often. So it's really even hard to, like, imagine being young and, like, looking at myself that often because it's weird as an adult. So imagining myself younger is wild. I think remembering that you are your coolest asset is always something that I think will punch through the noise because it will become even more saturated. I'm sure it's saturated now, but it will be saturated. So I think the biggest piece of advice I would give is that you are like your own secret sauce. And that's all you need. That's all you need.
- [31:19]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
How do you feel like your relationship to success has evolved throughout your career and maybe even before this version of your career started. Like, how did success look then versus how it looked now?
- [31:31]
Toni Bravo
It's interesting. I think when you're younger you think about success, you think of it as like these big major milestones. And I have had so many big moments and milestones. But I think for me now it's been important for me to recognize those big moments, the small moments just as big as those big moments. So like the small wins, the littler things that aren't as big and shiny and as postable, having those mean just as much if not more than the bigger shiny post. I think in an age of social media, it's really, you see in an announcement, a post, you have a launch day for whatever and it goes, and you kind of just like move on to the next thing. And so I feel like it feels very like fleeting at times. So for me, in grounding myself in those moments, success feels. I try to have my success feel more inwards and outwards just to really be able to sit with it because we're all so busy. It's so easy to just like, to under appreciate your accomplishments. So for me, I think recognizing and appreciating the smaller successes the same way I do the bigger, like flashier ones has allowed success to not only feel familiar, but also deserved a lot more. I think when I'm only recognizing the bigger things that everyone's giving you, these like, comments and all these affirmations for when it doesn't give you that you feel like, okay, well, is it really a big deal? So I think for me, recognizing the small moments the same way has allowed me to really sit in it more and just appreciate it because I think everything moves so fast that it can be sometimes really hard to like sit and be where you are and recognize like how cool everything has been. So a mixture of all of those things just to feel all of it really rooted in feeling grounded and success not feeling like this thing that I just am lucky enough to catch, but is something that I'm actively living in every day. I have these little successes all the time and that's like a result of my work ethic. It's not by luck or by chance. So I think remembering that is, is really, really, really helpful.
- [33:36]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
And what kinds of things allow you to stay grounded in that way?
- [33:39]
Toni Bravo
A lot of mindfulness exercises, surprisingly, I think there is this idea. A lot of people think that I'm, I'm working often. I'm working often. But just as much as I'm working, I do really, really, really try and practice like active mindfulness and being where I'm at. There's a lot of future thinking in this job. There's a lot of, in most jobs, there's a lot of future thinking all the time. And I think for me on a day to day basis it looks like having maybe like putting aside an hour or 30, 45 minutes if I can, that's just like silent and very, very, very under stimulating. And it's just a mindfulness. Whether I'm sitting outside listening to my environment, I'm sitting in the sun, I'm reading a book, very just chill really is just like a very under stimulating moment. I think with screens, with my phone and with recording, it gets a lot very quickly. So even practicing that every single day, whether it's 30 minutes or an hour of me, just like no screens, I'm crocheting, I'm knitting, I'm reading is very mindful. And that feels just as like, just as important if not more important than getting my emails in, sitting and finishing up this edit. So little bits of that and then also just spending time with people that aren't in my space, like my friends and my family, my loved ones that aren't in the same world that I'm in is really grounding More from our
- [35:09]
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- [35:17]
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- [37:13]
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- [38:49]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
You've talked about the importance no matter what kind of content you create that you, you basically are the secret sauce. What kinds of things do you do to continue to meet future versions of yourself?
- [38:59]
Toni Bravo
I think for me, it's one of those things where everyone's like, be yourself, be yourself, be yourself online and, and just in real life. And that's so true. But I think one thing I've learned is that being yourself is. It's not a singular act. You have to allow yourself to be yourself every single day. And whatever version that shows up in. And I think social media is really interesting because I'm able to see all the different versions of myself in like real time almost, which is wild. I think for me, inviting change and not being afraid to try something different is really, really important because every single time I've added something to my content, it's come out of curiosity. And usually if I follow that curiosity in regards to whatever creatively I'm trying to create, it does lead to a version of myself that is either a little bit more creative in this way or creative in that way. And that's a newer version of myself. So I think trusting the kind of curiosity that exists within, like people ask me all the time, like, how did
- [40:02]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
you come up with this?
- [40:03]
Toni Bravo
How did you do that? And I'm like, I was just wondering and I decided to just follow it. And I was like, I feel like, would this be cool if. And not shutting those questions down creatively or thinking that's not gonna be cool, like if I don't think it's gonna be cool, I'm not gonna do it. But if I'm thinking it could be cool, I've learned to just really trust the curiosity. Because usually attached to my curiosity is some form of a creative output that I'm gonna really like and that other people are gonna really like. And I've learned that every single time I trust that I'm able to introduce a new version of myself to not just the Internet, but to myself. So I think it's a trusting thing, which is again, a lot easier said than done. A lot easier said than done. To just co sign on something being cool because you think it's cool is a lot easier said than done. For sure.
- [40:52]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Yeah.
- [40:52]
Toni Bravo
But it's been fun to learn how to lean into that more and more.
- [40:57]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
And speaking of trust, somebody as somebody who started as like a solo creator and now there's a whole team that you have kind of supporting your work. What has it been like to be able to add people's to the team that you are able to trust that maybe are Aligned with your creative vision. Like what has building your team been like for you?
- [41:14]
Toni Bravo
I mean it's been beautiful. I think being able again, there's no way to scale without delegating. You can't do everything on your own. There are particular things that I will always do on my own for my personal like creative side, like editing for instance. Like that's something I love doing. So that's something I will always kind of keep to myself. But there's so many elements of the back end that I think needs to be this like kind of smooth running machine for me to be able to have my. Not just like my career be optimized, but just like my mental sanity. Like I can't keep up with everything. So I didn't start off with bringing everybody on all at once. And I think that was nice to kind of have a gradual add on and to see what this person does and how this manager and this agent and this, how everybody works together. It's nice when it feels gradual. So that was a really great kind of learning process for me. But it was so helpful right off the bat. I mean as soon as I started doing this full time, I started off with a manager. So already from the very beginning I was like having someone there to bounce back and forth, teach me what kind of like a manager does and what having an agency behind you is like. And I was able to work so much faster and I was able to get so much more done. And I think as a creative, being able, any time that you're able to actually focus on being creative is the goal. So gradually but intentionally as well, it's so helpful. Like I wouldn't be losing my mind right now without help for sure.
- [42:45]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
So you've already mentioned kind of shade range and those kinds of things being important. In terms of when you take on brand partners, are there other things that you're looking for to indicate alignment to you when you participate in like partnership?
- [42:57]
Toni Bravo
Yeah, I mean creative is a huge part of it. I'm like very particular about the energy, the vibe, the look. I think there's so much in obviously the product being good, but the story that they're telling and how they're telling it. The brands that piqued my interest the most are the brands that are more of the trend setters and less of the kind of copy and paste what everyone else is doing. But are the brands where other brands are looking towards creatively to be like they're cool. And I like those brands because they again they kind of do that thing where they think something is cool and they follow it just like I do. So those are the brands that, like, piqued my interest. So the creative and I think the work that goes into how creative they are and how they're able to tell those stories is something that's really important to me. So. So outside of just the product being awesome, it's really cool to see brands take up their own space. So the creative is a big part of it.
- [43:51]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Where do you feel like your curiosity is leading you next?
- [43:56]
Toni Bravo
That's a great question. I feel like right now it's been so nice being able to introduce so many different elements of my interests now to my audience that now it feels like endless. I think right now I am so interested and having so much fun in, like, the home space and lifestyle space. Also, long form has been really, really fun getting back into that. So longer form content has just felt like a breath of fresh air. It takes a lot longer to obviously edit into film, but I think the audiences that exist on the other end of long form content, it's an audience that is very different than short form. Whether it's a substack article, Whether it's a YouTube video, that audience is able to sit with you for like 20 minutes at a time. It's a different kind of relationship that feels not all too incredibly different than short form, but is a great addition to the relationship that I have with people on short form and a different kind. So I think for me, home and long form and lifestyle have been so fun. And honestly, any way I'm able to express my creativity in front of the camera is something that I always welcome and I'm always curious about. So a little bit of everything. I feel like it's been fun.
- [45:17]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Okay, so we'll just have to stay tuned to see you as new.
- [45:20]
Toni Bravo
Yes. You know, and I will, too. I will too, at this point and literally wake up. What am I leaning towards, which is so exciting and which is why I feel like I'm in the perfect place. I feel like this job I get to. I'm. I feel so grateful to be able to wake up and be like, what do I feel like filming today? What do I feel like sharing today? So I feel very, very, very, very, very lucky.
- [45:43]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
So when everything else feels like a miss, what parts of your beauty routine
- [45:46]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
act as your anchor?
- [45:48]
Toni Bravo
Ooh, my skincare routine all weighs. My skincare routine, I will say I keep it very simple. I add in new things every so often, but my skincare routine will always make me feel grounded there's nothing like taking off the day with your staple skincare routine, getting into your pajamas. So the skin care of it all will always be, like, the best. One of the best parts of my beauty routine, for sure.
- [46:12]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Got it.
- [46:13]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
So the team is saying we are loving the the look today. I already commented about your blush. What was the routine today, and what can you share about your current look?
- [46:23]
Toni Bravo
Ooh, today it was my everyday look. I think now that it's getting a little bit into, you know, we're leaning into summer a little bit more. It's very bronzy and glowy, but, like a grounded glowy, like a natural, like, radiance and bronze. So I'm really into. I've always been into bronze, bronzer, and a bronze look, but today we've leaned into, like, a cute, bronzy, glowy, radiant look today.
- [46:53]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
And how would you define good makeup for yourself?
- [46:57]
Toni Bravo
Ooh, good makeup, as in, like, the product or, like, a look?
- [47:01]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
The look.
- [47:02]
Host of Therapy for Black Girls Podcast (likely Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford or a co-host)
Ooh.
- [47:03]
Toni Bravo
Honestly, anything that makes me feel like myself, there is nothing worse than putting on makeup or having makeup put on you, and you look in the mirror, like, who is that? And not in, like, a good way. So for me, makeup that feels like me, myself, and I just, like, maybe a little more radiance, maybe a little bit more color, but still feels like me is, like, great makeup.
- [47:26]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Got it.
- [47:26]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
And I am also feeling a little blinded by the moisture.
- [47:31]
Toni Bravo
Oh, my God.
- [47:31]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Going on. So you got to tell us what, like, beauty stuff are you using?
- [47:36]
Toni Bravo
Oh, my goodness. I. Well, I just filmed this earlier today. I just filmed a body glow routine video because everyone's been asking for an updated one. But the thing about body glow is I've learned. I mean, you can obviously throw in a body oil and it'll, like, look fine, but the real thing is you should be going before the body oil. Like, you should already be going before then. And that comes with exfoliation. I love a good scrub, and naturium has a great one. Or a spray, like a glycolic acid spray for exfoliating and toning. And then I love, love, love a body butter. I always have a body butter in there. A nice body butter. And if I'm really wanting to, like, lean into maybe more of a sensitive skin moment. Rhodes barrier butter. I put that all over, and it leaves the best glow. And then I top it all off with an oil of some kind, whether it's l' Occitane supple skin oil or, like, a vacation SPF oil. And then that just Lasts me all day. I don't reapply unless I'm reapplying my spf. I'm not reapplying anything else. It just keeps the glow. So really, it all starts in the shower. Like, you have to exfoliate. Make sure you're really, like, allowing your skin to breathe. But the exfoliation is truly key.
- [48:48]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Okay, so that's step one.
- [48:50]
Toni Bravo
Yes, yes.
- [48:51]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Got it.
- [48:52]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Now, as you were talking, I'm thinking, you know, there are so many cool products to try. How do you kind of rein in maybe your inner product junkie? Or do you just give in to her and, like, I want to try all the things I want to try.
- [49:03]
Toni Bravo
Listen, I'm also. What's funny about this job is at my core, I am, like, not a maximalist with stuff. I am someone where I'm like, I have one product and this is my go to. Like, I've always been that way, my whole entire life. So with this job, it's been really interesting because you get 12 of everything. So for me, I haven't found a really healthy middle ground where I have what I like. And I'll maybe keep one backup of it of a different product. Everything else I give to my friends. So, like, on Sundays, once every month or every so often, I'll have a bunch of people come over and just like, it's like a PR grab. Everyone grabs things and then we donate another, like, kind of portion of it. And so it's all going to somebody that will utilize it and like it. But I just am not interested in having 12 million things. So that alone for me is enough to be like, I don't like clutter. I don't love clutter. Okay. We can't keep all of this, so I have to be really particular, which is also great because with skin care, I think if you're going to be particular with anything, you should be particular with your skin care. So for me, I know what I like, and I keep it with that audience every so often. But having no shortage of people in my life that will be more than glad to take most of this stuff off of my hands is a great balance for sure.
- [50:20]
Host of Therapy for Black Girls Podcast (likely Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford or a co-host)
Right?
- [50:21]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Right. Well, thank you so much for sharing so much with us today, Tony. It's been so cool to hear more about your journey. Please let us know where we can stay connected with you.
- [50:29]
Toni Bravo
Yeah. On Instagram, I am at Tony Bravo and also Tony Bravo on YouTube and my TikTok is bony travo. So just that inverted. But Tony Bravo everywhere else.
- [50:44]
Interviewer from Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Perfect. We'll be sure to include that in our Show Notes. Thank you again.
- [50:47]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Thank you.
- [50:47]
Toni Bravo
Thank you so much.
- [50:51]
Host of Therapy for Black Girls Podcast (likely Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford or a co-host)
I'm so glad Tony was able to join me for today's conversation to learn more about her and her work. Be sure to visit the Show Notes at therapy for black girls.com session465 and don't forget to text this episode to two of your girls right now and tell them to check it out. Did you know that you could leave us a voicemail with your questions or suggestions for the podcast? If you have ideas, drop us a message at Memo FM Therapy for Black Girls and let us know what's on your mind. We just might feature it on the podcast. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, visit our therapist directory@therapyforblackgirls.com directory don't forget to follow us on Instagram at Therapy for Black Girls and come on over and join us in our Patreon for exclusive updates, behind the scenes content and much more. You can join us at community.therapy for black girls.com this episode was produced by Elise Ellis, Inde Chubu and Tyree Rush. Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y' all so much for joining
- [51:48]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
me again this week.
- [51:49]
Host of Therapy for Black Girls Podcast (likely Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford or a co-host)
I look forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon.
- [51:53]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Take good care.
- [51:59]
Child voice in Lingokids ad
Mom, can I have Lingokids? Dad, Lingokids please. When did we become the Lingokids house?
- [52:05]
Toni Bravo
No idea. Last week it was Dinosaurs, this week it's Lingokids.
- [52:09]
Child voice in Lingokids ad
Why Lingokids? Because it's the best thing ever. We can play games with astronauts, wild animals and superheroes. With more than 4,000 interactive games, songs and shows, LingoKids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids.
- [52:23]
Toni Bravo
So no dinosaurs and dinosaurs.
- [52:25]
Child voice in Lingokids ad
Lingo kids, everything kids love. Download it for free.
- [52:30]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
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- [52:34]
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- [52:36]
They have everything from complexion to lip
- [52:38]
and it's the kind of makeup you can put on during the day and
- [52:41]
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the promo code TFBG for a 20% discount. Living with a rare autoimmune condition brings uncertainty, but it can also create community. In season six of Untold Life with a severe autoimmune condition, they go beyond MG and cidp as host Martine Hackett welcomes stories from other conditions like myositis and IgAN into the conversation. Untold Stories is produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenics. Listen to Untold Stories life with a severe autoimmune condition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Ladies. If you're in that phase where your body's just doing new things, sleep's weird, energy's weird, cravings also weird, you're not alone. It's totally normal. Menopause and perimenopause just means your body
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- [54:06]
Toni Bravo
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [54:08]
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Guaranteed Human.