Therapy Gecko – GECKMAIL: “I’M JEALOUS OF MY GIRLFRIEND”

Release Date: December 28, 2025
Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)

Episode Overview

In this special “Geckmail” episode of Therapy Gecko, Lyle takes a break from live calls to dig into his inbox, reading and responding to listener emails about life, relationships, addiction, career woes, family struggles, and, as the title suggests, jealousy in intimate relationships. With his usual blend of humor, introspection, and absurdity, Lyle delivers commentary that fluctuates from philosophical musing to tough love and comedic rambling.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Desire (or Lack Thereof) for Human Connection

(02:43–08:40)

• Email from Ali: Shares contentment with being emotionally self-sufficient and not seeking deep human connections, despite societal pressure to value connection.
• Lyle’s Response:
  • Compares Ali’s emotional state to people who physically can’t feel pain, seeing it as a rare kind of freedom.
  • Muses on whether desire is an intrinsic trait or a choice: “Not wanting is the same thing as having.” [06:13]
  • Philosophizes about the suffering that comes from desire, referencing both Stoicism and the Buddha in a tongue-in-cheek way: “There’s a lot of freedom in not wanting fucking anything.” [07:31]
• Notable Quote:
  • "If you don't even want it, it's like, wow, that's amazing.” – Lyle, [06:02]

2. On Losing Weight, Watching Movies, and Habits

(08:41–12:47)

• David writes about weight loss, his routine, and asks about movies.
• Lyle’s Take:
  • Admits he's not really into movies, far preferring cartoons due to his limited attention span.
  • Jokes about possibly listing 100 movies at the end of the episode.
  • Affectionately riffs about Amsterdam and the joys of stoned late-night walks.

3. A Bad Email, the Value of Everyday Experience

(12:48–15:00)

• John’s retold story from a different podcast earns Lyle’s mock ire.
• Lyle’s Critique:
  • Urges listeners to write about their own lives, no matter how boring: “I'd rather be the first podcast to cover a boring day in your life.” [14:11]
  • Reiterates the value in authenticity over regurgitated sensationalism.

4. Rebuilding After Addiction

(15:01–18:30)

• Dalton, named after “Roadhouse,” is in recovery, working fast food, going back to school, starting a band, and gardening.
• Lyle’s Response:
  • Expresses admiration for Dalton’s neuroplasticity and transformation: “You’re a real guy, dude. I love that so much.” [17:00]
  • Reflects on stories of people pulling themselves from addiction and the hope inherent in change.

5. Binky Fish, Internet Nonsense, and the Joy of Absurdity

(18:31–20:25)

• Josh spreads the gospel of “Binky Fish Sunday”—sending friends images of fish with baby binkies.
• Lyle’s Reaction:
  • Is genuinely delighted by the randomness, noting “I’m perfectly at peace with how I just spent the last three minutes of my life.” [20:22]

6. Navigating Career Uncertainty and the Search for a 'Normal' Life

(20:26–25:17)

• Maggie wants to leave hospitality/tourism, craves stability, and asks whether to move, change careers, or stay put.
• Lyle’s Advice:
  • Admits he’s unqualified to give career advice, points Maggie toward her brother and alumni network.
  • Jokes: “You could become a fish.”
• Memorable Moment:
  • “How’d your brother do it? Ask your brother for advice, not me.” – [23:14]

7. Parenting, Addiction, Boundaries, and Betrayal

(35:34–40:18)

• Polly, a new mother, shares her heartbreak over her father’s alcoholism relapse just as he was helping with her newborn daughter.
• Lyle’s Thoughts:
  • Draws a parallel to a “Rick and Morty” episode about betrayal.
  • Commends Polly for holding and reinforcing boundaries to protect her family, despite the pain: “It's kind of on him…He kind of has to get his shit together if he wants to be part of the family.” [37:58]
• Notable Quote:
  • “One of the main bummers of life is…accepting that you can't really change the behavior of other people.” [39:22]

8. Anxiety, Weed, and Overthinking

(40:19–43:10)

• Kya grapples with anxiety, weed use, and wonders if weed is helping or hurting.
• Lyle’s Response:
  • Candidly admits hypocrisy (“I can’t answer this without being a giant hypocrite.” [41:32])
  • Agrees it’s a cycle: “That’s the whole thing with drugs—the happiness debt.”

9. Loneliness, Addiction, and Searching for Meaning

(43:11–52:30)

• Meta shares about substance abuse, being used in lopsided relationships, feelings of meaninglessness, but also finds small hope in dark places.
• Lyle’s Input:
  • Identifies lack of meaning as the core issue, gently urges Meta to “take inventory,” notice what they do have, and try to build from that, however small.
  • Encourages openness to possibility: “If you want to die, but you surrender to the fact that you don't know everything, you might not want to die. You might be like, oh, I could know things that make me not want to die.” [52:16]
• Notable Quote:
  • “It doesn’t make you a loser if you feel like, ‘oh, my life has no meaning.’” [48:41]

10. When Caring for Family Derails Personal Progress

(52:31–56:32)

• Alejandra is a student, newly relocated, and struggles financially and emotionally after taking in her mentally ill mother-in-law.
• Lyle’s Stance:
  • Admits this is beyond his expertise, refuses to give unqualified advice, but thanks Alejandra for sharing her story.

11. Church Mischief: Confessions and Shared Humanity

(56:33–60:44)

• Nathaniel recounts breaking into a church at 15, watching porn, and leaving a mess.
• Lyle’s Reaction:
  • Relates, admits a similar mischievous capacity as a teen (but “would’ve cleaned up”).
  • Finds comfort in the universality of youthful stupidity: “I guess we all have the same existence.” [59:56]

12. The Core Email: Jealousy of a Girlfriend’s Past

(71:58–88:17) [Title Segment]

Clark’s Dilemma:

• Clark’s first girlfriend (who he wants to marry) has had prior relationships with three other “awful” men. He feels jealous, repulsed, and fixates on her past, recognizing the irrationality but unable to stop.
• Wonders if feeling this way makes him a bad person, asks if it’s wrong to think such thoughts, despite not acting on them.

Lyle’s Deep-Dive Response:

• Resists judgment, acknowledges the normalcy of “crazy thoughts.”
• Cuts through Clark’s rationalizations: “Why do you give a fuck who she slept with before you?”
• Notes that while you can’t control intrusive thoughts, you can choose what to feed:
  • “It might be out of your wheelhouse to just have that thought pop up…but it’s within your wheelhouse to…not feed it and direct your energy into something better deserving, such as your actual current experience.” [83:33]
• Quotes the “two wolves” parable: The wolf that wins is the one you feed.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Try to feed the good wolf, if you know what I mean.” [86:30]
  • “You have a dark wolf within you, but you have a nice wolf…Pick which one you want to feed.” [88:13]

Notable Quotes

• “Not wanting is the same thing as having.” – Lyle, [06:13]
• “There’s a lot of freedom in not wanting fucking anything.” – Lyle, [07:31]
• “I'd rather be the first podcast to cover a boring day in your life than the third one to…read a run on sentence about a thing that didn't happen to you.” – Lyle, [14:11]
• “You’re a real guy, dude. I love that so much.” – [17:00]
• “It doesn’t make you a loser if you feel like, ‘oh, my life has no meaning.’” – [48:41]
• “It’s kind of on him…He kind of has to get his shit together if he wants to be part of the family.” – [37:58]
• “Try to feed the good wolf, if you know what I mean.” – [86:30]
• “Why do you give a fuck who she slept with before you?” – [82:08]

Memorable Moments

• Lyle’s animated, meandering riff on Stoicism and the Buddha (05:56–09:40)
• The hilarious “Binky Fish Sunday” email and Lyle’s bemused acceptance ([18:31–20:25])
• “Run on sentence” meltdown in response to John’s bad Christian Mingle email ([12:48–15:00])
• The relatable, tender encouragement for Dalton’s post-addiction life ([15:01–18:30])
• The parable of the two wolves, delivered as therapy for Clark’s jealousy ([86:00–88:13])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:43 – Ali’s email about emotional self-sufficiency
• 08:41 – Weight loss, movies, and routines
• 12:48 – John’s Christian Mingle story & authenticity rant
• 15:01 – Dalton’s journey through addiction and rebirth
• 18:31 – Binky Fish Sunday!
• 20:26 – Maggie’s small island & career anxiety
• 35:34 – Polly’s heartbreak over her dad’s relapse
• 40:19 – Kya’s anxiety and weed
• 43:11 – Meta’s loneliness and search for meaning
• 52:31 – Alejandra’s mother-in-law and financial stress
• 56:33 – Nathaniel’s “unholy” church adventure
• 71:58 – Clark’s jealousy of his girlfriend’s past
• 86:00 – Parable of the two wolves

Final Thoughts

Through listener stories, Lyle explores the mess and beauty of being human: our contradictory desires, our capacity for change, our urge to both isolate and belong. The episode radiates openness—to emotional messes, to silly traditions like Binky Fish Sunday, and to the painful (sometimes embarrassing) stuff that makes us all kin.

For listeners:
“Try to feed the good wolf—and don’t freak out if you have to fight the bad one.”
And, if you ever break into a church and make a mess, at least clean up after yourself.

For more Geckmail:
Email therapygeckomailmail.com
[Full episodes and tour updates at therapygeckotour.com]