“I ACCIDENTALLY ATE A DOG”

Summary

Therapy Gecko – “I ACCIDENTALLY ATE A DOG”

Podcast: Therapy Gecko (iHeartPodcasts)
Date: November 16, 2025
Host: Lyle (The Gecko)

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Episode Overview

In this compelling episode, Lyle—an unlicensed, green lizard-psychologist—opens the phone lines to callers with stories spanning the accidentally taboo to the existentially profound. The episode’s eponymous centerpiece is a conversation with Jason, who accidentally ate dog meat during his Mormon mission in the Philippines. Subsequent calls and emails navigate through the complexities of clandestine relationships, doomer-parenting anxieties, pest control confessions, and raw narratives of addiction and recovery. Throughout, Lyle responds with empathy, curiosity, and his characteristic self-aware humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jason’s Story: "I Accidentally Ate a Dog"

(02:13 – 15:38)

• Accidental Experience: Jason recalls a pivotal moment during his Mormon mission in the Philippines when he unwittingly ate dog meat, believing it to be chicken adobo at a local family’s birthday party.
  • “She looks at the plate and she’s like, do you want to know, like, what you’re eating?...she just smiles at us and is like, no, like, that’s. That’s dog.” (Jason, 05:24)
• Cultural Shock and Guilt: Jason describes the realization, his reaction, and the cultural context. He finished the plate out of politeness, with Lyle questioning whether that was the right move.
  • “You finished it?” (Lyle, 06:08)
  • “I’m not gonna spit it out in front of them. It wasn’t bad...I wouldn’t eat it again but…it was pretty well seasoned.” (Jason, 06:14)
• Moral Reflections: Lyle ponders why eating dog is so taboo for Americans compared to other animals, leading to a philosophical conversation about the arbitrariness of food ethics.
  • “It’s so shocking that you’ve eaten a dog, right? But, like, we fuckin’ eat so many chickens and cows and pigs…no one gives a fuck about them, you know?...there’s no true, honest argument why it should be okay to eat cows and not dogs.” (Lyle, 12:38)
• Aftermath and Personal Growth: Jason reflects on life since the event—he’s graduated college, now works in corporate America, and finds relaxation in Stardew Valley rather than missions or culinary adventures.
  • “Now I'm just a project manager. I work in corporate America...just trying to find new hobbies.” (Jason, 10:37)

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2. Ted’s Dilemma: Love Across Decades and the Cost of Devotion

(16:00 – 37:09)

• Age Gap Relationship: Ted, a 20-year-old, is in a secretive relationship with a 63-year-old man, struggling with the challenges of integration into his partner’s life, secrecy, and societal perceptions.
  • “He’s 63, and I’m 20, so it’s…a pretty big gap in age. So I…I get why it’s hard. It feels weird whenever it comes up with his family…” (Ted, 16:47)
• Isolation & Secrecy: Ted hasn’t revealed his sexuality to friends or family, feeling doubly isolated due to that plus the age gap.
  • “No…no one really knows that I’m…you know…that I’m like that.” (Ted, 23:52)
• Lyle’s Gentle Guidance: Lyle urges Ted to consider whether the relationship is overshadowing his own personal development.
  • “You’re very in the process still of, like, developing your life…this could take time away from that process…The danger that I would see here is that this could…take time away from that process of continuing to develop yourself and put it toward this guy and his life.” (Lyle, 28:33)
• Encouragement of Self-Reflection: Lyle stresses the importance of being intentional about what occupies our mental space, especially in young adulthood.
  • “Be really, really, really selective and really think through deeply the things that you allow to take your mental space because you’re at a really critical time in your life.” (Lyle, 30:44)

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3. Carl & Existential Parenting: Preparing for the Apocalypse?

(41:23 – 57:21)

• Doomer Parenting Mindset: Carl, an expectant father, shares anxieties about the state of the world, climate change, and raising a child amidst uncertainty.
  • “If I was going to self-describe my viewpoint, it would be extremely, like, doomer black-pilled. The world is going to heat up and we’re all going to die in a war.” (Carl, 43:21)
• Lyle’s Big-Picture Philosophy: Lyle responds with historical perspective and philosophical detachment, observing that people have always felt their times were unprecedented and apocalyptic.
  • “The fact that we’re living in unprecedented times is…all times have been unprecedented...but things being unprecedented has been precedented for eternity.” (Lyle, 45:36)
• Dealing with Information Overload: They acknowledge the unique stressor of modern awareness—knowing about global problems in real time.
  • “The novel thing is that we all fucking know about all of it now…” (Carl, 46:24)
• Hope Amidst Anxiety: Carl’s wife provides a “level-headed” counterpoint, suggesting sometimes such anxiety is just the brain looking for something to worry about.

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4. Dana’s Redemption: From Chaos & Addiction to Recovery

(71:17 – 85:44)

• Rock Bottom to Recovery: Dana recounts a harrowing journey from alcoholism, chaotic living (affair with her boyfriend’s brother; living in a tent; alcoholic psychosis), to three years sober, gaining a GED, and stable employment.
  • “I don’t pull Britney Spears. I don’t hide in the woods. I don’t date people’s brothers. I do still not have great relationship skills…” (Dana, 78:51)
• Honest Portrayal of Addiction’s Depths: Details include stealing, paranoia, and self-destructive behavior—yet she credits AA, a higher power, and changing her mindset for her turnaround.
  • “When you’re in the grips of addiction, it literally feels like there’s nothing—there’s no other option but suicide…But…the life that I have today I did not know was possible.” (Dana, 81:44)
• Message of Hope: Lyle underscores Dana's story as hopeful, emphasizing that one can lose everything and still recover.
  • “Any message we can send out into the universe that there’s better things to do than kill yourself, I think is good.” (Lyle, 84:44)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Jason’s Filipino Mission & Dog-Eating Story

• “I kind of finished it because it was good. But after the fact, I didn’t really feel that good.” – Jason (05:32)
• “You want to be in an executive position before you start talking about eating dogs.” – Lyle (11:41)

Lyle’s Food Ethics Philosophizing

• “There's no true, honest argument why it should be okay to eat cows and chickens and not dogs.” – Lyle (12:38)

Ted’s Isolation

• “No one really knows that I’m…that I’m like that.” – Ted (23:52)
• “Be really careful to make sure that…this thing and these conflicts are not cutting into mental energy that you should be spending on developing your own life.” – Lyle (30:44)

Carl’s Doomer Parent Fears

• “I have too much education in ecology and…the way things are going is not sustainable.” – Carl (44:10)
• “All times have been unprecedented...but things being unprecedented has been precedented for eternity.” – Lyle (45:36)

Dana’s Hope After Addiction

• “There’s nothing, there’s no other option but suicide…But…the life that I have today, I did not know was possible.” – Dana (81:44)
• “Any message we can send out into the universe that there’s better things to do than kill yourself, I think is good.” – Lyle (84:44)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• Jason’s Dog-Eating Story: 02:13 – 15:38
• Ted’s Age Gap Relationship: 16:00 – 37:09
• Carl’s Doomer Parenting Anxiety: 41:23 – 57:21
• Dana’s Redemption from Addiction: 71:17 – 85:44

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Tone & Style

True to Therapy Gecko form, Lyle’s approach balances empathy with irreverence and self-effacing humor. The episode swings between surprising confessions, earnest advice, philosophical pondering, and the lighter existential absurdity that is the show’s trademark.

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Final Thoughts

A classic Therapy Gecko episode: candid, weird, and affirming. Stories range from eating taboo meat to wrestling with forbidden love, future dread, and personal ruin. Through it all, Lyle listens generously and gently nudges his callers (and listeners) toward perspective, humor, and, occasionally, hope.

Transcript

[Lyle]

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[Jason]

Hello?

[Lyle]

Hey, what's up man?

[Jason]

Not too much. Didn't think I was gonna get through. I tried calling earlier and was listening to a few other calls, but figured I'd give it one last try. How's your week been?

[Lyle]

My week has been okay. You know, I mean I've been thinking about the caller who said that life is a spiral a lot and I agree with that a lot. Like I think there's just like a a lot of spiral. There's a lot of spiraling, but it's good. It's in, you know. You know, like, they. The analogy that, like, life is a spiral, but each time you go in the cycle, you gain a little bit more information. You know what I'm talking about?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I mean, I think there's always something new to learn with every experience you go through. Even if it's like a similar experience, you know, there's always something. Something new to get. So I agree with that.

[Lyle]

Anyway, what's up with you, man? What'd you want to talk about today?

[Jason]

So, you know, I. I always thought about what I would talk about if I were to get on the call, and I think one of the one story I'd love to share is. So I. I grew up Mormon. I'm not Mormon anymore, but I, like, served a mission in the Philippines, and I was. There's this one time that I ate. I ate dog, and I didn't know that it was dog until after the fact. And I think about that a lot. Like, I can't believe that somebody bamboozled me into eating, like, a dog. And it was like, it was a pet that they had for a while.

[Lyle]

Really?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

How did they bamboozle you into eating a dog? Like, what did they present it as?

[Jason]

So, in the Philippines, they have this dish called chicken adobo, and it's. It's really good. It's like this chicken that they put in soy sauce, and it's got, like, all this other stuff in it, but it's, like, marinated chicken, and that's what they presented it as. We. We were visiting this, like, family that we would go to every week, and we had been there for, I would say, like, five weeks. Over the course of five weeks, he's been visiting them. And they told us about this birthday party, and we, you know, we thought we'd stop by for a little bit, get some food, because the people there love celebrating, whatever, and they always find an excuse to make a lot of food. And so when we get there, she sits us down, gets us a plate of all the food, the chicken adobo, lumpia, pancit, all that stuff. And as we're eating, she, like, just sits next to us, and she's just like, so how is it? And we're like, you know, it's good. Like, it's not out of the ordinary. It's. It's really good food. And she had these, like, two dogs that we would constantly see whenever we would visit, but we'd only noticed, like, one of them around. And then she, like, kind of asks Us again, like, so, like, you know, like, is there anything different about the chicken? And we're like, no, not really. And then she's like, well, have you noticed that this, this dog isn't here? Or he's not, like, walking around? We're like, you know, we actually have noticed it. And then she. She looks at the plate and she's like, do you want to know, like, what you're eating? And, like, is it not chicken and double? And she just smiles at us and it's like, no, like, that's. That's dog. And we're just, like, already halfway through our plate and it's like, I, I don't. We didn't know how to process it. We. I, I kind of finished it because it was good. But wait, after the fact, I didn't really feel that good.

[Lyle]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You finished it?

[Jason]

I'm not gonna spit it out in front of them. It wasn't bad. Like, really? I mean, it was. Yeah, it wasn't bad. It was pretty well seasoned. Kind of crazy thing to say, but, like, it was. It wasn't bad. I wouldn't eat it again because afterwards, like, we're walking and, like, my body felt a little hot. Like, the best way I can explain it is, you know, when you kind of drink and, like, your, like, stomach gets a little warm and stuff like that. That's kind of how. How it felt afterwards. I don't know if it's because it's dog or something, but I didn't get sick or anything.

[Lyle]

Did you. Did it taste like chicken?

[Jason]

For the most part, yeah.

[Lyle]

Interesting. So how. Okay, so how long was the period of time between when you found out and when you took the next bite?

[Jason]

It was definitely like. Like a minute or two. We had to, like, we kind of looked at each other and we're just talking to her as she's, like, telling us what it is. And she gets up and leaves after, like, a few minutes after she told us. And so we're just, like, sitting there looking at each other. And so it was about within, like, five minutes. And today.

[Lyle]

What. Did you have any hesitation before diving back in, or were you like, no, this was pretty good.

[Jason]

I think so. I. I mean, I was thinking about how, you know, we're eating like a dog, but also, like, you know, when am I gonna have this again? Probably never. And I haven't. I haven't ever thought about eating a dog.

[Lyle]

You haven't thought about eating a dog since?

[Jason]

No, can't say I have.

[Lyle]

Are you still a Mormon?

[Jason]

No, no, I haven't been Mormon for, I'd say like two and a half years.

[Lyle]

Wait, you mentioned that earlier, didn't you?

[Jason]

Yeah, that was super brief.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah. And so wait, tell me about this mission. Like what, like what were you doing in the Philippines? Like, who was this family?

[Jason]

So the family that we were seeing. So like when you're a Mormon missionary, you're kind of just going around meeting people, trying to share your message of the church. And the main thing is like inviting them to either like read whatever you give them or get them to give them the church and stuff. And so we were like visiting this lady and her family for about five weeks at the time. And it's really just to share whatever we had planned for her. Like if they ever had any questions about what we would give them to read or if we had a specific message for them like that when we ate the dog, like that was just like a birthday party she had invited us to. We weren't planning on sharing anything. We were just walking by. But yeah, we were just visiting them, sharing whatever we had to share about God.

[Lyle]

Did you talk to this woman about God before or after she fed you the dog?

[Carl]

Before.

[Jason]

Not after.

[Lyle]

Did she, did she, did it. Did the message resonate with her?

[Jason]

I think so. I didn't stay in that area long after that happened because usually what happens is you'll stay in a specific area for anywhere between like three to six months before you're transferred to a different area in your mission. So I was like in the middle part of Luzon, which is the main island in the Philippines. And so I was like in one area, which is where she was living. And then soon after that I transferred. I got transferred to a different part of the. Of that area.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

What's your life like now? What do you do?

[Jason]

So it's, it's pretty normal. I graduated from college in December and now I'm just a project manager. I work in corporate America, so I'm just working, hanging out with friends, just trying to find new hobbies. I think recently I've been playing Stardew Valley and that's been a very fun game to pick up. I'm playing it whenever I take like my little gummies.

[Lyle]

Do. Do any of your corporate join of your corporate America homies know that you've eaten a dog?

[Jason]

I don't think it's come up. I don't think I haven't found the right time to tell them this.

[Lyle]

Right.

[Jason]

We had a dog come to the office when I was new A coworker's sister had, like, just adopted a puppy. And so that may or may not have been the best chance to bring that up, but I don't think it probably would have been. I don't think I would have brought it up then.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I don't. I probably don't.

[Jason]

Especially not as, like, a new employee.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah. You want to at least have, like, some. You want to be in an executive position before you start talking about eating dogs?

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm leading meetings, you know, kind of thing. Not. Oh, this person just joined.

[Lyle]

What's your name again?

[Jason]

Jason.

[Lyle]

Jason, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go or talk about or anything like that?

[Jason]

You know, I would say just be kind to people, spread positivity. And, you know, if you're craving a sweet treat today, go and get it.

[Ted]

It's Friday.

[Jason]

We've all had a long week, so just enjoy it. You as well, Geck. If there's a treat you've been wanting, go ahead and get it.

[Lyle]

I kind of want to eat a dog.

[Jason]

Hey, you know what? If you want to, no one's holding you back.

[Lyle]

I genuinely. You know what? I actually, before we. I do actually think it is. You know what is so funny is that it's weird to me and I participate in this thing that's weird to me, which is that, like, it's so shocking that you've eaten a dog. Right? But, like, we fucking eat so many chickens and cows and pigs and lambs and no one gives a fuck about them, you know, So I don't know. I got. Eat it. Like, eating a dog is really not that different. Like, there's no. Like, you can't really. You. There's no true, honest argument why it should be okay to eat cows and chickens and not dogs. There's really no good. There's really no argument for that.

[Jason]

Yeah. You know, like, you think about other countries. Like, I know Peru, they. They're known for eating, like, guinea pig. And I mean, I ate also some pretty crazy stuff on the Philippines. Like, I had fried. Fried crickets that aren't that bad either.

[Lyle]

Crickets sound pretty cool, you know.

[Jason]

Yeah, they're pretty crunchy.

[Lyle]

What did the dog. Did I. Did we go into what the dog tastes like? Did I ask you that already?

[Jason]

Yeah, it's like, it's. They're pretty. I mean, they taste kind of like chicken, but it's a little bit. Like, it's not as soft as chicken. Like, think of it as, like, Turkey, like, it's kind of thicker.

[Lyle]

Did you. Was there any sauce on it?

[Jason]

Yeah, so, like, it. They served it as chicken adobo. And so that's like, the main thing is like soy sauce. And they'll have like, onions and garlic. Sometimes I'll add like slices of pineapple to make it a little bit sweeter. But it's like. Yeah, it's like the soy sauce kind of thing. But like, you can't really tell, like, because the main thing, it's like the color. It gets its color from the soy sauce.

[Lyle]

Okay. All right. I'm not gonna go out of my way to eat a dog, I don't think.

[Jason]

Hey, but I mean, if it's. It's presented.

[Lyle]

If it's presented as something. If it's. If it's a situation like you. If it's presented as something else that I don't know what it is, I would eat it. I mean, I guess I. Yeah, in the way, like, I would eat chicken. And so if you gave me something and told me if it was chicken, I would eat it. And then if later you told me it was dog, I don't think I would finish it, but I would be like, oh, I've just eaten. Eaten a dog now. I wouldn't finish it though. But I, you know, I get it. You don't want to be. You didn't want to be rude.

[Jason]

Yeah. I mean, I'm the kind of person that just likes to be able to say I've tried things. So, like, even if it's something that I've probably. Well, you know, I mean, good and good reason. But like, for the most part, I try to try something at least once. So now that I've had that and now that I know what it is, I don't think I'll ever actually go out of my way to have it, even if it's presented as dog.

[Lyle]

Thank you for calling, Jason.

[Jason]

Thanks, Cat.

[Lyle]

Have a good one. Do. I don't know if I have any post call thoughts about that. I think. I think that that call can simply stand as it is.

[Ted]

Hello?

[Lyle]

Hi. What's up?

[Ted]

Not much. Well, sort of a lot. Well, I'm glad I finally got through. I've been every stream I've tried to call, so. Well, I don't know. Should I just start talking about what I want to talk about or.

[Lyle]

Sure, why not?

[Ted]

Okay. So about two years ago, I got into this relationship with this guy and he's fantastic, but he's quite a bit older than me. And that presents that Presents quite a few problems for us, and I. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do about it.

[Lyle]

What are these problems?

[Ted]

I guess. I guess one of the biggest parts is I want to be. I want to be more part of his. His life. You know, I want to meet his friends, his. You know, his family and stuff. But it's. It's. It's hard for him because I'm so much younger than him. Like, it's not like 10 years. He's, like. He's. He's 63, and I'm 20, so it's. It's a pretty big gap in age. So I. I get why it's hard. It's just. It doesn't feel. It feels weird whenever I. Whenever it comes up with his family or, you know, stuff like that. So I. I don't know.

[Lyle]

How'd you meet this guy?

[Ted]

We met online, like a dating app.

[Lyle]

Okay. Was it, like. Was. It was the date. Was this, like, the point of the dating app? It was, like, to meet, like, older guys?

[Ted]

No, it's just sort of. Oh, sorry. No, it's. It's sort of just like people. Just all. For all people, meeting all people.

[Lyle]

Mm. How long have you been with this guy?

[Ted]

Since January of 2024. Actually, one of the first dates that we went on, you know, out together, was to your show back in March. Here in Colorado? Yeah.

[Lyle]

Oh, no shit. Wait, did we meet?

[Ted]

Not. No, we didn't meet. He wanted me to go up, but I didn't. I didn't have anything interesting to talk about. I don't know if you remember the show, but it was the show where, like, this guy came up and he played. He played music. Oh, he was a web designer, and he used the name, like, Sans Serif or something, or. Sam Serif. Yep. And song was, like, way better than I thought it would be. I thought I was sort of expecting, like.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did remember that. I do remember that.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Well, anyway. Anyway. Okay. So. Okay. I mean, see, yeah, that's. I mean, that's a fairly long time. It's about a year and a half. And, like, is. Is. And so what, you met this guy when you were, like, 19?

[Ted]

Yeah, it is, like, a month before my birthday, So I was 18 at the time.

[Lyle]

Okay, well, I have thoughts, but I have quite. I have more. I have more questions than thoughts. So tell me this. Why do you want to be with this guy?

[Ted]

Well, he's really nice. He's friendly. He's really funny. We. We have a lot of the same interests. We. Yeah, we just have a really good time together. For the first, for like the first 10 months, it was a little weird. It was sort of like a problem. For the first 10 months I didn't really talk about because it's also my only. It's the only time I've ever even been in a relationship. So that makes it even more weird, probably. But like, for the first 10 months, it was more just like we were friends and I didn't know how to bring up to him that I like, I sort of wanted more. So for like the first 10 months it wasn't. Well, for me it was sort of like he was. We. We were dating, but for him it wasn't like fully we weren't together. It was more just like we were friends until I brought it up in like November last year. And that's when we decided to, you know, be together.

[Lyle]

And so. But. So you want like a full fledged relationship where he, he introduces you to all of his, like, friends and like, really integrates you into his life?

[Ted]

Yeah, I mean, I've. I've met parts of his family, but for his friends, he sort of has like two sections of friends. He has a section of friends that's like his, you know, his friends that are also, you know, gays and stuff like that, and his friends that are. So before he, before he started to like, you know, before like 2000, he was. He was married to a lady and he had like a kid and stuff, but he was, he was gay the entire time, so it was sort of like. So then they got divorced and then he started living, you know, gay outwards and stuff like that. So he's friends from before then, friends after then. So first friends before then. I think he thinks that they, they would find it weird. And for a few friends from the other part of his life, he. One of them would not find it very cool if his. If that was his partner, someone 40 years younger than him. And then for his family, I've met his brother and his brother's wife and they're very friendly, but for family functions like Thanksgiving and Christmas, he's. He thinks it'd be a little weird if his daughter and his dad found out because his dad's like 83 or something, so.

[Lyle]

So did you give me your name or a fake name? Ted.

[Ted]

Well, that's my real name.

[Lyle]

Oh, okay. All right.

[Ted]

Whatever.

[Lyle]

Yeah, Ted's cool. What's going on in the, in like the rest of your life?

[Ted]

Well, I'm really busy at work. Let's See I play chess. I mean a lot of. I guess I'm pretty boring outside of that. Yeah, not much, I guess.

[Lyle]

Well, have you told you, have you talked to. Are you close with like your parents or you have like siblings?

[Ted]

No, not. Well, I don't have any siblings. The only family I have in the US is my dad and uncle and my dad's a truck driver and my uncle, he lives somewhere here in Colorado, but I don't know where. So I guess I'm not really close to any family.

[Lyle]

Do you have friends?

[Ted]

Yeah, I have friends, but I don't think I really have anyone I can talk to about it really.

[Lyle]

Like, why do you feel like you can't talk to your friends about this?

[Ted]

Well, no one really knows that I'm. I'm not, you know. You know that I'm like that. So.

[Lyle]

That you're, that you're gay? That you're gay?

[Ted]

Yeah. No, I've never told anyone that before.

[Lyle]

Uh huh.

[Ted]

So it's, it's also weird for. To tell someone that.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Ted]

And then on top of that, it's like another level of even more weird because I'm. I'm like actively pursuing a relationship with someone older than my grandfather.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah. So you don't have, you don't have any fret. Like nobody from your close friends or family knows that you're gay?

[Ted]

No. No one knows.

[Lyle]

Mm hmm. Well, you know, here's the thing. I'm trying to. Cuz like I'm trying to get a full picture of your life to kind of understand like what is drawing you to want to like pursue this thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, because. And the reason why is it because, you know, I'm not 100% sure if whatever the underlying reason is that you're pursuing this thing, that this thing is the best cure of it. You know what I mean?

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

You get what I'm saying?

[Ted]

Yeah, I see what you mean.

[Lyle]

Have you like. Okay, so this is like, like have you dated guys before? Have you like gone out on dates? Have you like met, connected with other dudes that aren't in their 60s?

[Ted]

No, I haven't. I'm not really. I don't know, it's weird, but I'm not really like interested in people my age, so.

[Lyle]

Why is that?

[Ted]

Yeah, I haven't really thought about it. Well, it's. I don't know, I just, I don't find. I don't find people my age very relatable. I can't, I can't get along with Them very much.

[Lyle]

Well, like for this, with this guy, right? Like, where do you see it? Where, where would you see this going, you know?

[Ted]

Well, I mean me and him are, are on the same page at this point. We're together, talking about moving in together, stuff like that. And so I mean, I see spending, you know, the next 20, 30 years together and I think, I think he feels the same way. He said that this is his last relationship.

[Lyle]

He did.

[Ted]

And so yeah, he said that he sees us being together, you know, for the rest of his life and I, I feel the same way. So I don't know. I, I, it sort of makes him sound weird, but. Well, I don't know because I'm so much younger, a lot of people would probably think that he's being predatory. But I mean, I can say as, as the one experiencing it, I don't think, I mean, I mean if anything it's been sort of me that's pushed, pushed it as far as it's been.

[Lyle]

Okay, so. Well, I am, I mean, I'll, I'll say this is like, I think when it comes to this kind of thing that the, my main concern, I'm thinking about what I would, I, I'm thinking about what I would tell you if you were my son. Yeah, I'm thinking about what I'd tell you. My, my main concern is really this, right? Is like the, the main issue with like a big age gap relationship. Like this is more so that like you're, it's like the age itself is like, it's more that like you're in the process still of like building your own life, figuring out who you are and like doing all of like, you know, like, do you want, are you in college? Like, do you have a stuff you wanted? Like, you're like, you know, you sound like you're, you're still like learning a lot about yourself. You, you know, you want to eventually get to a point where like, you know, you have a community of some kind. You've, you know, you know, non romantic relationships that you feel really comfortable with and involved in and you know, you have your hobbies, you have, you really like, you're, you're very in the process still of like developing your life. And the problem, the, the danger that I would see here is that this could kind of take time away from that process of continuing to develop yourself and put it towards like this guy and his life. You know what I mean?

[Ted]

And yeah, I see what you mean.

[Lyle]

So like, you know, I try not to be in the business of telling other people what to do. But. And you're gonna do whatever you're gonna do, but if, you know, you want my, My take on it, it's that, like, you know, if you're gonna navigate this situation, the, the. The thing that should be at the forefront of your brain is to be making sure that, like, this guy and this thing and these conflicts are not cutting in to mental energy that you should be spending on, like, developing your own life. You. You get, I'm saying. Because also, and also, by the way, this shit can creep. This shit can creep up on you in ways you understand. Because even, like. Right. Because the fact that you're over here, like, well, he hasn't introduced me to his, you know, friends yet or this and that, like, you're like, you're like very, very, very subtly. This thing is already taking a lot of mental space from you. And.

[Ted]

Yeah, I see.

[Lyle]

You know, look, as a person with your own agency, you can, you know, I mean, you can decide what things you want to take up your mental space. Right. But be really careful with, like, be really, really, really selective and really think through deeply the things that you allowed to take through your mental space because you're at a really critical time in your life.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

So, like, I don't know if getting into a thing with this guy who's kind of already lived his whole existence and like, you're talking about 20, 30 years. I mean, shit, man, this guy's gonna, like, how much of a, you know, I mean, how much of a life can you really have with, you know, someone in their 80s and 90s, right? Like, you don't wanna. You don't wanna. You don't wanna, like, look back and be like, oh, shit, I was spending so much time, like, tending to this thing that. And, and you know what? And even. And you know, you say, here's the thing. You say, like, oh, well, I'm the one pushing for. And I'm not even. I'm really. I'm not even here to like, villainize this guy. But, like, it can just. It can just creep up on you. Like, it could just the amount of time and energy that you're spending on this shit could just fucking. Just creep up on you. So, yeah, be really careful to make sure that. Because you might. You might, like, go into this thing and then it falls apart and it just doesn't satisfy the goals that you have for your life. And then you look back and you're like, I mean, I don't really know if I believe in Such a thing as, like, wasted time. But you might look back and be like, oh, shit, I wish I would have spent the time that I was spending on this thing, on whatever, making. Doing things that put me in rooms with other people that I could be friends with. You know, you say you don't like people your own age, but like, how many people your own age have you fucking met? You know, like, what do you do? What do you. What are you doing to put yourself out into the universe to even, like, be around enough other people to make that, like, that. That claim?

[Ted]

Well, well, I'm around a lot of people my own age. I. I play a lot of chess tournaments. I play, I don't know, three chess tournaments a month in person, of course. So, I mean, I talk a lot to people my age, and then, of course, during school, I talk to a lot of people my age. And it sounds like I'm trying to, like, justify, but I do. I am in a lot of communities that put me around people my age. And I have a lot of friends in person. I. I do judo, so I have a lot of friends there. So it's sort of like. I don't know, I feel like I've. I've talked to a lot of people my age and I just don't. I don't know. I don't know.

[Lyle]

Well, yeah, but you understand what I'm saying, right? Like, with wanting to. You needing to give yourself the space to, like, develop your own shit.

[Ted]

Yeah, I see what you mean.

[Lyle]

Because.

[Ted]

I don't think about it that way.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you didn't.

[Ted]

No, I didn't think about it. Like, I'm putting so much energy towards it. It's sort of eating up.

[Lyle]

Yeah, that's the thing. And that's not even specific to your issue. That's just like, this is like, bro, like, things can just. Things can. Things can really take up your mental time a lot without you even noticing it. And if what you. If your ultimate goal. And also there's just so much like, if your ultimate goal is, like, you want to find someone that, like, you know, you get married and have kids and get. Be integrated into their life in the way that you're talking about, like, that. I believe that that exists out there for you, and there's clearly a lot of frictional elements between you and that with this. So I would keep that in mind. Yeah.

[Ted]

Yeah, yeah. I didn't. I didn't consider. It's just. Yeah, it's been on my mind so much that I didn't think about that. It's been on my mind, so.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ted]

I don't know.

[Lyle]

Yeah. No, that makes perfect. It makes perfect sense because when you're. Yeah, because when you're in the moment of that, you're not even, like, introspecting about it. You're just in it. You don't even realize that.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And. Yeah. You know, that shit. Just. Just. Just know that that shit isn't free.

[Ted]

Okay.

[Lyle]

You're right.

[Ted]

Yep. I. I didn't think about it. Okay.

[Lyle]

Ted?

[Ted]

No. Yeah.

[Lyle]

You doing all right, Ted?

[Ted]

Yep.

[Lyle]

I can. I can keep talking if there's anything else you want to or, like, anything you want to talk through or anything like that?

[Ted]

I don't think so. I think it's. I think that's what I came here for.

[Lyle]

Okay. All right, cool. Is there any other, like, aspect of this or anything else in general that you want to. Want to talk about again into before we go?

[Ted]

Not that I can think of. I mean, that's sort of the biggest thing. Just. Yeah.

[Lyle]

All right, man.

[Ted]

So thank you.

[Lyle]

Anything else you want to say to the people at the computer?

[Ted]

Not that I can think of. Have a good day.

[Lyle]

Beautiful. Take care, Ted. Good luck. Do I have anything else to say about that call? Yeah. Well, I don't. I know people have a lot of, like. And I cross my. You know, I think. I try not to. I try not to, like, tell people what to fucking do. Although I do it all the time. I do it all. There's so many times where I just flat out tell people what to do when I like. But it depends on the situation and the person's energy and, like, the conversation and shit. And, like, I. Sometimes I'm like, just gotta tell. I just feel like I need to tell people what to do, but other times, I'm like, no, let's, you know, like, let's just take this thing and, like, we'll arrive. Let's just talk about it and arrive at. At an answer independently. Also, because I was keeping in mind the fact that this guy, he hasn't, like, I don't know if he's talked through this with anyone because he's, like, not out, you know, and he's like, this is like a singular thing. So I don't know. I. Yeah, I hope. I hope Ted arrives at whatever conclusion feels. Feels productive for him. Should I say something funny? I don't have anything funny to say. All right. Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to the show or call into this show are creators of some kind. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok YouTube, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world whatever it is that you do best. You can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok Twitter to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate live together.

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[Lyle]

Gecko what's up man? How you doing?

[Carl]

I'm good. How wild to talk to you.

[Lyle]

You texted me. You said I ate a guinea pig in Peru. If you want to talk about that.

[Carl]

Yeah. So we went to Peru, which is the first part of that story. Obviously there's a lot of restaurants that sell it. And I got it in a fancy restaurant and it was pretty good. It was pretty good. The restaurant was full of tourists who were like ogling and some like 60 year old gay German couple came up and wanted to take pictures of me eating it. It's pretty good. If you ever had rabbit, it tastes the exact same.

[Lyle]

Would you eat a dog like the other caller?

[Carl]

You know, it depends on how the dog was killed. I think that's really kind of the philosophical pivot where we're at on the ethics.

[Ted]

Right?

[Carl]

Like if a dog was raised to be killed and eaten. No. But if it was like a cherished family pet that lived its entire life happily and it died in an accident and the family wanted to honor the dog's memory by like serving it, I would eat that dog. What do you think? Where are you at on this?

[Lyle]

Well, I kind of, I kind of talked about it in the other call about like, I don't think that, like, I missed it. I missed like, I guess like. Oh, well, I was just talking about like more like morally. If there's probably no real difference between those two, I still wouldn't eat a dog. I don't, I don't really want to. I'm like good with the amount of chickens and cows and shit that I eat. But you texted me a bunch of shit, man. You're talking about.

[Carl]

I text you every time you go live and I'm available because I don't know how this works. So. Yeah, there's a lot in there.

[Lyle]

You said, I'm trying to figure out how to protect my child from the apocalypse.

[Carl]

We have one on the way. It's my first one and I don't know if I was going to self describe my viewpoint. It would be extremely like, doomer black pilled. The world is going to heat up and we're all going to die in a war. So it's like, I also texted you. I don't know how much of my view of the future is just like looking for certainty but from a negative way. Because I don't like to handle the unknown, you know, but it's something I'm thinking about a lot.

[Lyle]

Yeah, okay. Tell me more about your doomer black pill ideology about the world.

[Carl]

Okay. I don't even know where to start, man. I know it's a podcast suicide to get into politics, so let's not even go there.

[Lyle]

But we can talk about whatever you Want.

[Carl]

Things are not looking good, especially in America and other parts of the world. But, like, I don't know, climate change freaks me out, man. I have too much. I have too much education in ecology and the way things are going is not sustainable. And it doesn't look like anybody's turning it around anytime soon. So it's like, I feel like the collapse of the society that we have is just a question of when, not a question of if, you know? So it's like, if it's in the next 80 years, now I have to care about that because I have a kid on the way, you know, It's a lot to think about.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I've thought about that. Like, if I, you know, I think I'd like to have kids someday and, you know, I'm worried about the future of the world and stuff, but here. And you sound like you're more educated than I am. I'm not really. I mean, I think a lot about shit and I talk to people and whatnot, but I'm not really formally educated in anything. So this is all just like a me kind of trying to be. Go ahead.

[Carl]

I took an ecology class, so it's not like I'm Mr. Climate Science, you know, so.

[Lyle]

Well, here's my thing, man. And I've talked about this on the show a little bit before, but, like, basically, and I was talking to one of my friends about this last night, is like, the fact that we're living in unprecedented times is all. Times have been unprecedented.

[Carl]

Like, that's true. I think about that a lot.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Like, it's. It's always been an unprecedented time. Like, the specifics are always unprecedented, but the. I mean, I'm sorry, the specifics are unprecedented, but. But things being unprecedented has been precedented for eternity. You know what I mean?

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

So, like. Yeah, and even, like in, like in America, right? Like, I mean, look, a bunch of people, like, being corrupt, consolidating power and trying to, you know, like, a few people trying to take as much power as they possibly can, that's like. It's like human nature. It's been happening forever in society.

[Carl]

The problem and the novel thing is that we all fucking know about all of it now, you know, That's.

[Lyle]

That is interesting. It is. It is interesting. Yes. That is a new thing that we all know about now. Yeah, it's a lot easier than it was back in, like, what, a feudal days or whatever the fuck. Also, even, like, ecological things. I'm like, well, I don't know. There was the black Death. There was been massive disease and meteors and weather. Like, we've been through a lot and with war, it's like, bro, I mean, we have, you know, the fucking. The world was at war twice and.

[Ted]

We may have 200 years.

[Carl]

We may have 200 years before it really hits the fan. So, like, who, who knows?

[Ted]

You know?

[Lyle]

But, you know, I don't know. Think about. Well, think about like this, right? Like maybe 200 years, humanity dies out and then maybe several million after that, something else.

[Carl]

Intelligent guinea pigs.

[Lyle]

Yeah, intelligent guinea pigs. And then they'll eat little. Whatever the. They eat and whatever we evolve into.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

I mean, shit, yeah. For all we know, I mean, there could be life on another. Could be. I don't know, it's just like. I don't. I don't know. I got into an argument. Now, it wasn't an argument, it was a discussion with someone where I'm like, I think I, like, I'll tell. I'll tell people all this stuff and they'll be like saying that I'm coming at it from a point of apathy, and I'm not. I don't think that. I don't think that that means we shouldn't do anything.

[Carl]

Like, you have to have a measured level of just caring about what you have control over and then filtering out all the rest of it. Right. It's not. It's just like being reasonable. Yeah, I don't know.

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course. And you can also, you know, I mean, you can protect your kid from the world in some way, shape or form. Like, you can talk to them and raise them and whatnot, but, you know, they're gonna have struggle. I mean, I. Yeah, man, I don't know. I've been thinking about this a lot, like, in terms of, like, if I want to have a kid and like, like, what the fuck is the world gonna look like? But I don't know, man. Like, I. I always thought that, you know, we thought social media would destroy everyone and, you know, it's done. It's taken a toll.

[Carl]

Open question. Open question. Yeah.

[Lyle]

What'S your open question?

[Carl]

Yeah, though social media is still going to destroy us or not?

[Lyle]

Well, yeah, I mean, it's done a lot. It's done a lot of damage, but, like, there's still not actually, you know, I mean, you go and go into a restaurant, there's people eating with each other and talking. And that's true, you know, like all the stuff, like people have friends and like, people still connect with each other and people still do Stuff and make like this. I don't. I don't think that, like, the essentials of humanity are about to completely go away.

[Carl]

Not yet. I don't think anytime soon, man. But I'm just thinking, like, if we truly have trouble having enough food and water for people, if that actually is how things go, at some point there'll be a lot of bad stuff happening. It's just like, yeah. How much martial arts do I teach my kid? Do I need to teach them how to build a generator or just teach them to be nice to people in math?

[Lyle]

Like, you know.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

What's your. What's your wife's take on all this?

[Carl]

Oh, she's, like, not worried about it. She's like, you need to calm down.

[Ted]

You're just.

[Carl]

Your brain is just trying to find something to worry about.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Gemma Spake]

What's.

[Ted]

So.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, because I was. Yeah, I was talking to someone about this and, you know, they were like, you're thinking too much about it.

[Carl]

Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much, pretty much.

[Ted]

But.

[Carl]

Yeah, she's pretty level headed about most things. Yeah. Gekko, it's. It's so strange to talk to you on the phone because I'm inclined to just listen because that's normally what I do. It's like, sure. People run into this problem.

[Lyle]

Are you. Are you excited to have a baby?

[Carl]

I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Jason]

It's.

[Carl]

It's sort of weird to, like. It's still too early to, like, tell anybody. Only one of my friends knows. None of our families know. So it's like. It's not real yet, but it's just.

[Lyle]

Like, wait, wait, wait. None of your family knows?

[Carl]

No, no, we don't want to have to deal with that shit until.

[Lyle]

Wait, you're telling me that I know that you're having a kid before your parents do?

[Jason]

Well, yeah.

[Carl]

You can tell the Internet anything. You're just the Internet, Lyle.

[Lyle]

True. Interesting. Okay, so when you get. When are they going to. When are they going to find out?

[Carl]

We're going to. We have another OBGYN appointment this month. We're going to do some genetic testing just to make sure everything's above board, because we're both 35, 36. And we'll learn the gender, no ceremony about it, and we'll let people know.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Carl]

Just give it more time because, like, the probability of stuff going wrong with the pregnancy dramatically decrease as it goes along. So we're just getting past the first part of it so we don't have to tell people if anything Happens, you know.

[Jason]

All that.

[Carl]

It's wild, man.

[Jason]

Hmm.

[Lyle]

So you, it sounds like your wife is less anxious about the whole thing than you are.

[Carl]

She's less anxious about the world falling apart, but probably more anxious about things in closer proximity to our actual lives. Like, what are we gonna do with the bed that we, you know, like, what are we gonna do with all the stuff in the room we have to put the baby in? Like, And I'm just like, not thinking about any of that. I'm just like, often some reality that's not even here interesting.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I'm like that too. I'm like that too, you know, where like, yeah, I'll be with someone and they're like, you know, really grounded in reality of like the, like, what are we gonna eat today? And I'm like, yeah, off the. Off thinking about some crazy existential crap. I don't think it's healthy. I really, I don't laugh. I mean, I've talked about it to death on here, but like, I just, I don't like it. I don't think.

[Carl]

I don't know, man. I think it has its place. I think it has its place because you can like, you know, she'll get all freaked out if she's sick and like, can't handle like, oh, the kitchen is messy. It drives her nuts. But it's like, I could survive in a whirlwind. I would be worried about what's going to happen in another 20 years, you know? So, like, for dealing with direct day to day problems, I feel like it keeps your head more level. It's just like you waste a lot of time being worried about shit that doesn't matter.

[Lyle]

You also text me saying it's. You also text me saying it's pull a rat out of the wall kind of a day. What does that mean?

[Carl]

I work in pest control, so we do a lot of rat work. We trap and kill a lot of rats, keep a lot of rats out of buildings. And I had some traps that were too close to a wall void above a drop ceiling.

[Dana]

And.

[Carl]

It got caught overnight and did some kind of backflip into the wall and dropped down 15ft and was starting to stink up the building. So I had to go out there.

[Ted]

And.

[Carl]

Do something with a tape measure and zip ties and sticky boards and lower the tape measure down into the wall and pull the rat out. I deal with a lot of dead rodents outside of Peru too. It's kind of gross, but I guess it kind of primed me to eat one.

[Lyle]

What's the. What's the best part about working in pest control? Would you say.

[Jason]

It.

[Carl]

It is never not interesting. There's always some kind of nasty stuff to do. I work my own schedule, have a lot of free time, a lot of control over when I work and when I don't. It's pretty nice just having a.

[Lyle]

Does having a baby. Does having a baby make you more sympathetic to the. Like, the rats? You're like, oh, these rats were. I mean, babies.

[Carl]

I would say I'm pretty sympathetic to the rats already. Like, I honestly feel pretty bad about killing them sometimes. The bugs. It's like, whatever. Bugs are intellectually, like, less significant than a phone app, pretty much. But the rats, they've got, like, families and stuff. Like, if we're going full Charlie Kelly, like, yeah, I've killed generations of these things. I feel a little upset about it. But mostly we kill them in ways that don't. They don't know. You know, the traps go off pretty quickly, and you just. You can't have them in a building.

[Ted]

They.

[Carl]

They ruin stuff. They chew up wires, and they're a health threat. And it's bad. It's got to be done. Somebody's got to do it. So it's me. I'm good at it.

[Lyle]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I can't be too critical because, you know, somebody does have to do it. You can't really be there. Yeah. This comes a time where, like, you want to be all peaceful and cool about stuff, but then if you got a rat in your home, you got to get rid of that guy.

[Carl]

Dude, I've seen they cost such bad problems. Like, I'm in Texas. It gets 115 in the summer, and they'll, like, chew through an AC line, and the AC is out in the building, and it's like 90 degrees in the building because they have rats up there. You know, it's like they ruined cars. They all kinds of shit. It's bad.

[Lyle]

What's your name?

[Carl]

I do respect them. I think I said it was Carl, so we'll go with that.

[Lyle]

Carl, cars or anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go.

[Carl]

I don't know, man. Rise up against the oligarchy. People that are in your economic bracket are not your enemy. I treat a. Oh, really, man, I wish I could.

[Lyle]

Oh, Jesus. We can't put that. I don't know if we could put that on the. All right. We got a.

[Carl]

Under contract. I'm not gonna do it.

[Lyle]

We gotta. All right, we might. I might have to cut that part out. But it was fun.

[Carl]

Yeah, cut out what you need to.

[Lyle]

All right. I might have to cut that part out, Brandon. We might have to cut that out.

[Carl]

But anyway, Carl, Lyle, I really appreciate all the hours you put out there to listen to, and I really appreciate your perspective. You have a good day, man.

[Lyle]

Thank you, man. You too. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Yeah, we definitely. We definitely can't put that out there. Hey, what's up, everyone? It's Lyle. I'm gonna end the episode today by doing some viewer mail, which is, for me, it's a nice, relaxing way to end the episode. You know, I can just talk at my own pace and talk to myself, which is what I normally do when I'm alone. I talk to myself a lot. Do you guys talk to yourselves? I walk around the house and I talk to myself like I'm two people having a conversation. I like talking to myself. I think it's helpful. I like being around myself. I know that sounds a little narcissistic, but I think it's good. I think you should want to be within your own company. I guess. I'm not exclusively talking to myself. I'm also reading emails, but I'm also talking to. But I'm talking to no one. I'm talking into a stick that doesn't respond. And I'm talking to a theoretical audience of however many people listen to this. But anyway, this is too much stuff. Let's read. Let's read some emails, shall we? Let's read some emails that you guys have sent. By the way, if you want to be in one of these emails, you can send me an [e-mail]. this first email is from Amy. Hello, Lyle. I'd like to go by Amy, if that's okay. Yes, it is. I'm typically working whenever you stream, so I always miss calling in. I've debated emailing before, but like most things, I always put it off until later. But right now, I'm sitting in a parking lot. I just got off work, picked up some Wendy's, drove to the parking lot of a Ross because I plan on looking for a gift there. And I'm sitting here eating my Wendy's before I get out of the car. I wanted to talk to you about several things, but most things have either resolved themselves, I worked through it, or I'm still in the midst of it. One I feel I'm still in the midst of is. One I feel I'm still in the midst of is. I recently went through a friendship breakup. We'd been friends for almost 14 years, the last three feeling strained. She called it off first, and even though I had been thinking of doing so myself, it really, really hurt that she did. We had slowly grown apart. In some ways it was in distance, but in some it was in milestones and we couldn't relate to each other anymore. I didn't even mean life milestones like marriage, education, or financial. It just seemed like from my perspective, she didn't care to have any emotional initiative, be it for herself or towards the people around her. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't think about it often, but when I do, I get mixed feelings of anguish having lost someone. But I also get very angry and spiteful as the end of our friendship came as a result from an argument we'd had. When I start to vent about it to anyone, my chest almost feels like it'll explode because I still feel sore about it. It happened recently, so maybe it's still fresh on my heart, but I also feel like there was some closure that I didn't get, so I'm hyper fixating on that. I'm writing this on my phone, so it took really long, so I'll end there. Thanks for reading. Hmm, Interesting. First of all, I'm a big fan of eating fast food in the parking lot of a of a shopping center. I don't know if I'm a big fan of it, but I've done it a lot. I've spent a lot of time eating Jack in the box in a car in the parking lot of a place and I look back at it fondly. I've talked about this before, but when I was first doing starting doing the show, it was during COVID so I couldn't really go out anywhere. So like on a Friday, on Friday nights or like I would. I had a routine. I would do my podcast and then it would end at like 9pm and I would kind of be worked up still. So I would just drive in the suburbs to like the parking lot of Target and like everything was closed, it was midnight and I would just like sit there, listen to music, maybe eat some gas station food that I got. It was nice. Anyway, that has nothing to really do with your email, and it kind of does. I'm trying to think if I've been through a friendship breakup. I don't. I've never been through a friendship breakup necessarily. I've. Most of the times it's kind of just been a fade. I've never been in a actually Actually, wait, that's not true. I have been in one friendship breakup that was like, definitively like. Like we talked about, like, we're not gonna be friends anymore. But I don't really. I don't know. I didn't really mourn it. It was very. It felt very easy to me to move on from that. Because the friendship breakup is different from a romantic breakup, because the romance. Because typically, if you're monogamous, like, there has to be, like, labels. You know, that's the. It's. The difference between romance and friendship is romance is more label driven. And you really. You only have. But you only have a spot for one. So you. You have to break up with one if you want to move on to another and, like, build a life. But friendship is interesting because friendship is not like we're gonna get together and build together. Friendship is like, you know, will orbit around each other. And so it doesn't necessarily always need to be definitively ended. It mainly just fades. But you said that you were thinking of calling off this friendship. I'm curious. I'm curious. What you mentioned she didn't have emotional initiative. Like, she didn't want to, like, grow herself emotionally or connect or whatever. I get what you mean. I can. I can only really relate with my personal experience. But I find, like, I guess I've had friends like that in the past where I'm like, I don't think that we really can connect anymore. Or, like, I don't think that you're doing a good job at connecting or whatever. But it's like, I don't. I don't bring it up, you know, because it's not like they're. Now that I'm an adult, it's like, you know, I have my own life. And it's. Again, it's not like a romance thing. Like, if. If, like my, you know, if I had, like, a wife or girlfriend or whatever, and there's a problem there, I'd be like, yeah, there's a real problem there because, you know, that's more. But it's important because we're building a life together. But friends are. Again, they're like. They kind of. They kind of orbit your life, but they're not, I guess, in it. In it. In the way that, like, a real, like a domestic partner is, you know, I don't know, unless you got, like, roommates or you're really, really, really close with your friends also. Fuck, man. Life is so. Life is pretty short. You got to be intentional about who you spend your time with. We couldn't relate to each other anymore. Yeah, it's all right. I think it's. I think it's good. I actually. I take back a little bit of what I said about the domestic partnership. I mean, about the. Like, you only have space for one. You can have space for multiple friends. You kind of can't. You can't. Like, time is so finite that you really do have to be selective about who you spend your time with, because you can. You know, none of that shit's free. It's like I was talking to that caller earlier about, like, the mental energy that you spend on shit is not free. Like, if you have a friend that's like, draining your energy or whatever, or you just don't even fucking like, hanging out with them. You want to be valuable by that time, or you want to try to be, or you don't have to be. I don't know. Sometimes that. Guys, I'm trying to remember who I really am. And let me tell you something. Sometimes I say all this, like, you know, motivational podcast, bro. Like, you got to be valuable. You gotta be valuable with your time. And then other times, I'm. I really. I'm just like, you know what? Who gives a. Let's just be okay. So you don't like this person. Okay? You have to like everyone you hang out with all the time. You have to light. You have to really enjoy everyone that you spend all your time with. You have to love every second of your life. That's a tall glass of. That's a tall order. You know, you can. It's okay to have a shitty friend sometimes. Just have lunch with them sometimes. I've done that. Sometimes I can't think of anyone specific, but, like, sometimes I'm, like, with someone I'm not. I don't feel like I'm connecting with them, but I'm just sitting across from them, and I've known them for a while, or I have some form of connection with them, and I'm sitting across from them, and I'm like, this person's really pissing me off, but they're here with me right now, and I love them. So I'll just. We'll just do it. You know, I don't mind that either. I don't think that's a bad way of going about life. Okay. This is from Dana. Subject line, I left my boyfriend for his brother. This is Dana. I'm a huge fan of your podcast, and I listen to it all the time while I'm at work. He Helped me get through my day and make me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you, Dana. I used to be a raging alcoholic and make a mess everywhere I went. Now I get excited about vacuum lines. What are vacuum lines? Does she mean like cocaine or like. Hold on, I'm googling this. Okay. Vacu lines are hoses that transport pressurized air into power vehicle components and H vac controls. Okay. It's not cocaine. That's all I wanted to check. A few years ago, I started dating the guy from the liquor store and I moved in with him within a few days of seeing each other. I literally just lived in his room and he would bring me home booze every night. While living there, I was introduced to his brother. I had instant attraction to him and thought he was the man of my dreams. I started sneaking into his room while my boyfriend was at work and eventually after a few months, we got caught and then moved out together into a tent and my grandparents backyard. I drank every single day to the point I went into alcoholic psychosis. I cut off all my hair and hid in the woods because I thought people were after me. Long story short, I'm sober now. I'm facing all my feelings, just trying to catch up in life and live a good life for myself. Can't wait to hear from you. P.S. here's my phone number. And she gave my. She gave me her phone number. That's the whole email. I. I. Normally I don't use this as like a way to call people, but I kind of want to hear this woman's story. This is kind of interesting. I would like to hear this. Should we call this woman? Let's see what happens if I call this woman. Hold on. Hey folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're going to want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators of some kind. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world whatever it is that you do best. You can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community. Check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate live together.

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[Dana]

Hello?

[Lyle]

Hey, what's up? This is the Gecko guy.

[Dana]

Oh, wow.

[Ted]

Hi.

[Lyle]

Is this Dana?

[Dana]

Yes, it is.

[Lyle]

What's going on, Dana? How's life?

[Dana]

Life is okay. I'm just eating some macaroni and cheese from Panera.

[Lyle]

I don't normally. I don't normally call people back from the Geck mails, like when they leave their phone number in the thing, but I don't know why I was. I was intrigued by your story. I kind of wanted to hear more. I wanted to hear how you're doing. If you want to talk about it, that is. You sent this email. Oh, shit. I just looked. You sent this email weeks ago.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Dana]

And I was really excited about it and I sent it and I told all my friends. I was like, I'm gonna be on therapy. Gecko.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Are you less excited about. Are you less excited about it now?

[Dana]

No, I mean, like, I'm not feeling great. I'm a little under the weather. So, like, that's not great, but I am still so excited.

[Lyle]

Okay, well.

[Dana]

Did you want me to talk about what I sent in?

[Lyle]

Yeah, sure.

[Ted]

All right.

[Dana]

So I'm a recovering alcoholic. I have, like, a little over three years. But before that, I was, like, a crazy person. So my alcoholism got, like, really bad, and I was at the liquor store every day, and I started dating the guy from the liquor store. And so. So anyway, so we started dating, and then I was like, I'm gonna get sober. So I, like, went into detox, and he came. I called him, and I was like, this place is terrible. Like, you have to get me out of here. So he. He picked me up, and I moved in with him. And, yeah, so it was just like, I basically were just, like, in his room, like, all day while he would, like, go to work and, like, he would bring me home booze. And so I met his brother and, like, while I was living there, drinking with him, and we. It was like one of those, you know, I'm like, you see somebody and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is the love of my life. Like, we are going to get married. We are going to have babies. Like, he already stopped drinking. So I was like, this is, like, this is happening. Like, all the stars are aligning. So I started dating. Well, actually, we started, like, seeing each other and, like, sneaking around. And my boyfriend would go to work, and then his brother would come up in his room, and I would just drink, and we hang out and, you know, like, sleep with each other. And then his brother, he would, like, go downstairs, and his brother would come home from work, and everything would be fine and dandy. And so that went on for, like, a while.

[Ted]

And.

[Dana]

Yeah. And then finally we got caught. I think that I got, like, blackout drunk one night, and I, like, told on myself. Like, he was, like, pissing me off, and I was like, well, you know what? I'm fucking your brother. And then so I got together with his brother, and, like, we were together now. So I, like, had to obviously move out of the house because his parents, like, hated me. So we moved into. My grandmother had just had hip surgery and, like, my way in there, like, I need a place to live. So I was like, grandma, like, I'll help you, you know, recover from your hip surgery. And she's like, okay, you know, So I started living with her, but I also was just, like, drinking all day long. And, like, I also didn't like it, like, interfered with. Like, her house is too small. So I was like, let's just pitch A tent in the back. So we lived in a tent for a while. And, like, I kind of said in the email, like, I drank myself into alcoholic psychosis, and I thought that there were, like, people after me, and I was just, like, super, like, paranoid. Like, I would, like, I wouldn't come out of the tent because I thought, like, somebody was after me. And then I ended up. I don't know. Like, I, like, literally just, like, cut off all my hair one night. Like, I don't know why. And apparently I've heard, like, that's a thing that people do in alcoholic psychosis.

[Lyle]

Yes, it's the Britney Spears.

[Dana]

Yeah. So I pulled a Britney Spears. Well, at first I cut it all off, and then I, like. I don't know, I, like, drove all over New Jersey because I was like, I'm gonna. I got to find somebody to fix this. It's bad, you know? So I don't know. I, like, drove all over and then ended up in, like, a park, like, hiding in the woods because I thought that my aunt was going to call the police on me because I stole my grandma's car and her credit card and was just, like, in this park, like, drinking vodka in the woods. So lovely.

[Lyle]

Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Let you finish.

[Ted]

No.

[Dana]

So that lovely boyfriend came to my rescue and rescued me. And, like, this guy was, like. This guy was like, my saving grace.

[Lyle]

The boyfriend or the brother?

[Dana]

The.

[Ted]

The.

[Dana]

So the brother. The brother now is.

[Lyle]

That.

[Dana]

Is now the boyfriend. So there's the. The original one. The original. And we'll call him Tom. And then the.

[Ted]

Like, the.

[Dana]

The new one, you know, the brother. We'll call him Steve.

[Lyle]

Huh.

[Dana]

So Steve was like, my saving grace. Like, he, like, came to get me out of the woods and, like, we, like, went and stayed in a hotel room for a couple of days.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

So how are you doing now?

[Dana]

Now I'm great. Like I had said in the beginning, I have three years sober. Yeah. I clean houses and I am really involved in aa and I have a lot of friends, and I do, like, normal people things. I don't go and hide in the woods anymore. I. You know, on a Saturday, I'm eating Panera Bread, just kind of resting and hanging out and. Yeah, like, life is good now. Like, I was able to go back to school and get my ged. Like, basically, like, men relationships with, like, everybody that, like, I traumatized and. Yeah, like, life is. Life is great now. Like, now it's almost like I actually told somebody the story because I was like, I'm going on Therapy Gekko. Like, it is happening. And I told somebody, like, I read the email like, that I sent you to them, and they were like, no way. That was. That was not you.

[Lyle]

Really? Okay, so you're. It's that. So this is the person who met you after you got sober?

[Dana]

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't pull Britney Spears. I don't hide in the woods. I don't date people's brothers. I do still not have great relationship skills. I recently just got out of a three year relationship, which was just a shit show. He was a lot older than me, and it was just. It was just not. Not good.

[Lyle]

Did you mend your relationship with the. The original liquor store guy?

[Dana]

So I actually, like a. I wrote a whole. A letter to the whole entire family and apologized to the whole entire family.

[Lyle]

Interesting.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Like the, like, were you, like, you had a relationship, like, with his mom and dad and stuff?

[Dana]

Yeah, yeah. His mom is a sweetheart.

[Lyle]

How did they take it?

[Dana]

I don't know because I just mailed it. So I just kind of sent it in the mail and just hope for the best. And I felt like it was like one of those things, like, all the destruction that I did to that family, it's best off that I never speak to them ever again.

[Lyle]

Sure. Yeah, that makes sense. It's interesting. It's interesting because I. When you're, like, drinking vodka with all, like, when you're bald drinking vodka, like, shivering in the park, you kind of. There's some inclination to be like, well, this is it for me, you know? So it's nice to hear. It's nice to hear that there's a life beyond that. I wouldn't be surprised if there's people listening to this, listening to us talk right now in their headphones that are drinking vodka on the ground at a park. You know what I mean? So it'd be. It's quite cool. To me, it's cool. The idea that this is like, someone's doing that while we're talking right now, and then they're. They'll hear you and be like, all right, maybe we can be not doing that, you know?

[Dana]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Lyle]

I like. I like a story of hope. I'm a big fan of stories of hope.

[Dana]

Yeah, for sure. Like, you know, because that's not anything. Like, I actually like paid bills now. I, you know, like, I'm like a regular ass adult. Like, I do things now that I'm like, I didn't even know. Like, I didn't even know how to go to work every day. Like, I didn't even know that that was, like, a thing. And, like, now I'm able to, like, hold a job and, like, also, like, not completely lose my mind, you know? But it's like, it does. When you're in the grips of addiction, it literally feels like there's nothing. There's no other option but suicide, you know? Like, that's where I was. Like, I thought that my only way out was to kill myself. And, like.

[Lyle]

Right.

[Dana]

Just, like, the life. I always get, like, weepy about it, but, like, the life that I have today I did not know was possible, you know? Like, I. You couldn't. If you were to tell me three years ago that my life would look the way that it does right now, I would not believe you. You know, like, the most amazing things have happened to me in the last three years. You know, like I say, my life didn't start until three years ago.

[Lyle]

And you did it all without Jesus, right?

[Dana]

Oh, I did it with Jesus.

[Lyle]

Oh, you got Jesus. That's okay. Jesus has Jesus. How's Jesus?

[Dana]

Well, I. I believe in God, you know, I think it's more so. I know that, like, you know, I remember, like, getting sober, like, you know, being in rehab and stuff, and people would be like, oh, you know, I believe in God. I'd be like, shut the fuck up. Like, what are you talking about? Or even, like, people that would say their life got better. I'm like, you are so full of shit, it's not even funny. And I feel like it's. You know. But somebody broke it down to me and was like, okay, like, you're not the boss of your life. You know what I mean? And when you try to control your life, look where you end up, you know? And I stopped trying to control my life and started to just be, like, a better person and to, you know, do the right thing and not be an asshole. Like, sometimes, like, some days, like, it's like, I'm like, don't be an asshole. You know, like, talk to God. Don't be an asshole.

[Lyle]

What? Well, before we go, do you have any plans for the future?

[Dana]

I do. I plan on going back to school. I'm not sure exactly what I want.

[Ted]

To do.

[Dana]

You know? Like, I thought about being, like, a peer recovery specialist, which is, like, basically somebody who is in recovery that, you know, helps other people get through. But then there's also, like, that, you know, Like, I just. I want something. I want to be a boss. Like, at. At work, I have, like, I'm, like a trainer, and I'M basically, like, in management. So, like, I never knew that, like, I have that, like, boss bitch, like, thing, you know, like when people are just like, like, like leaders, like, natural leaders. Like, I didn't know that.

[Lyle]

Well, thanks for sharing your story with us, Dana. I'm glad that things are working out again. I like a good story. I hope so. I'm glad the things are working out for you and you're. You're not. It's a. It's always good. I always. Any message we can send out into the universe that there's better things to do than kill yourself, I think is good.

[Dana]

I think so too, because, yeah, I have. You know, it's crazy. I actually came across a video of myself that I took after I tried to kill myself. And I said how, like, terrible life was and how I just want peace, you know? And it's like, I didn't see any other way. Like, I didn't see things getting better. Like, I didn't have any hope. And like, just, you know, from then, that was like, maybe six years ago. And, like, to now, it's like, I'm so grateful that I held on.

[Lyle]

Beautiful. Beautiful. Thank you for. Thank you for sharing, Dan. I hope you have a good rest of the day. Thanks for picking up this phone call randomly in the middle of the day, three and a half weeks after sending this email. You're true. You're. You're a real one for that.

[Dana]

No, but, like, am I gonna be on your podcast on Spotify? Because I listen to you on Spotify, like, all the time.

[Lyle]

Yeah, this will be on Spotify. Yeah.

[Dana]

Oh, I am so excited. I'm gonna show everybody. Like, I don't think you understand how I'm. Like, when we get off the phone, I'm gonna call my best friend because I'm so excited about this.

[Lyle]

All right, cool. Just don't read the comments. They're mean sometimes.

[Dana]

Okay, I won't read them. That's fine.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Dana]

Thank you for that, for sure.

[Lyle]

Have a good one, dana.

[Dana]

All right, YouTube.

[Lyle]

Bye. Bye.

[Dana]

Oh, bye.

[Lyle]

That was Dana. It was a good email. I like, again, I like a good story, I hope, because we. Well, I don't know if we've all been there, but you have. I've been there for sure. Not necessarily like an alcohol thing, but, like, you know, I think I know what it's like to be like, oh, shit. I don't think there's another thing to do besides, you know, the. The thing. But there's not. I mean, there. I mean, there is there's other things you can do. You can. You can eat a Panera Bread. This whole thing has been an ad for Panera Bread. Thank you for sharing that story, Dana. I don't normally call people after they leave their phone number and they geck mail, but I'm glad I did. I'm glad we get to hear that story. Okay, I know I've only read two emails so far. Maybe I can find a short one that we can end with. This is from Noah. Hey dude. I recently started to smoke weed again. And while most of my experiences were positive, I've started doing this thing where I get really fucking high and I watch nature docs. Thing is, every nature doc is kinda geared to make you feel bad and show you how you are really destroying everything. I usually end up feeling mad, sad and overall bad. What do you think about the way we are treating the world? Anyway, a new Pokemon game came out today. So apart from the world burning and ice caps melting, it's pretty good. I have a shit job that pays the bills and lets me do my real passion, playing Pokemon. I'm the same guy who you helped join my local Pokemon communities. Oh, I remember you. I remember you and who got broke over it. I now play the creating card game and the video game I've started playing. I also started playing badminton four times a week. Please come to the east coast of Canada or Maine. Sent from my Samsung Smart fridge. That is kind of funny, man, that you kind of. You got high and you were like, let's just watch a chill thing and then it attacked you with messages of how the world is exploding. I mean, I talked about it a little bit with that other guy earlier in the episode and again, I don't mean it to be apathetic but you know, it all goes to zero, man. Enjoy it. Play Pokemon. Look at, look at stuff. Just enjoy your life. I mean, try to have a little. I, I don't know, I. In my life, I try to have a little bit of balance between enjoying it and achieving my aspirations, whatever they may be. So, you know, if you aspire to not destroy the planet, then you know, play Pokemon, throw the wrappers of the trading cards in the recycling bin. Don't start a multi billion dollar corporation that lobbies against environmental protections. That's really all you got to do. It's not, it's not that difficult. I think that was therapy Gecko. I think that was the Gecko. I think we did it. I think we talked to a lot of people today. I think we got A lot of stories. I think we got a lot of stuff to put in people's ears. I'm happy with it. I'm proud of it. And I really have to. I really have to poop. I really have to poop. I'm gonna go do that right now. I'm gonna go poop. So thank you guys very much for listen to this show. Do me a favor if you want to. I'm planning a Tour in the 2026. So if you want to go to the link in the episode description or go to therapygeckotour.com and give me your information, I'll text you when I'm coming to your city in 2026. It's very helpful for me if you go to therapygeckotour.com and put your information in that thing so I can let you know when I'm coming to your city to do my little Gecko show. This year's next year's show is gonna be like. I'm aiming for it to be like half of me telling stories from my life and I've got a nice bit of, you know, fun stuff to share. It's been rattled around my brain. It's a little bit more written and less stream of consciousness. And then of course half talking to the audience as we normally do. Also, I'm trying to make there be less ads in the show. I'm sorry, I know there's a lot of fucking ads, but I went in to the thing and I made there be less ads. So there should hopefully be less crazy ads. Thanks for bearing with me on that. Thank you guys for being here. Gek bless. See you all around the universe. Therapy get goes on the line Making your phone calls every night Therapy get goes Doing it right Teaching you how to live your life. But he's not really an expert.

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[Jason]

Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a.

[Lyle]

Very happy half off holiday because right.

[Dana]

Now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Carl]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch a front.

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[Lyle]

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[Lyle]

Our early Black Friday event.

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[Lyle]

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[Carl]

You can't stand out by following others.

[Lyle]

Touchscreen Smart Charging case for one Touch control, Instant EQ customization, True adaptive noise canceling and the one of a kind audio transmitter which can plug and play with everything from game consoles to in flight entertainment. What more could you want first? Doesn't follow. Grab a [e-mail] this is an iHeart podcast.