“I AM A SYRIAN SHEPHERD”

Summary

Therapy Gecko Podcast: “I AM A SYRIAN SHEPHERD”

Date: December 14, 2025
Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts

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Brief Overview

In this episode, Therapy Gecko (Lyle) connects with strangers across the globe for candid, vulnerable, and often amusing conversations about their unique life situations and feelings of isolation, transformation, and self-discovery. Callers share stories from shepherding in Syria, uprooting a life for a dream, falling in love across distances, learning to deal with panic, and facing existential anxiety. The Gecko offers thoughtful, sometimes humorous, but always compassionate insights about loneliness, personal growth, and embracing the unknown.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Loneliness and Self-Discovery as a Young Shepherd in Syria

Caller: Yehu ("Yu")
Timestamps: [01:53] - [14:33]

• Life as a 17-Year-Old Syrian Shepherd: Yu describes volunteering as a shepherd on a remote farm near Syria, typically spending hours alone tending animals. While initially content, he now finds isolation harder (“It's been starting to get lonely, which is something… weird for me to say because I've always considered myself an introvert.” [03:52]).
• The Double-Edged Sword of Solitude: Yu enjoys the meditative aspects but admits loneliness is building, despite his introverted tendencies.
• Friends Drifting Apart: High school friends have scattered to university and military service, leaving Yu with less social contact.
• Host’s Take on Isolation: Lyle highlights that being a shepherd is "intentionally isolated," and points out the need for balancing peaceful solitude with the comfort of community:
  • "When you're kind of like designing the life that you want… you have to keep these things in mind. So there's trade offs… But you got to really understand what you're choosing. And what you're choosing is isolation." [07:33]
• Openness to Change: Yu is reassured that it’s okay to change direction (“I'm very happy with, you know, experiencing different things, even though it doesn't turn out to be what I want to do.” [13:59]).
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Yu: “Turns out, I'm not [the kind of person who thrives in isolation].” [11:13]
  • Gecko: “You can decide that you want to go be a shepherd… But you gotta really understand what you're choosing. And what you're choosing is isolation.” [08:00]
• Takeaway: Loneliness can sneak up even on introverts, and youthful experimentation is healthy. Social connection is a core human need.

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2. Reinvention, Relationships, & Fearlessness in California

Caller: Nick
Timestamps: [14:45] - [32:30]

• Radical Life Change: Nick shares how he blew up his old life in North Carolina after ending a long, unfulfilling relationship and losing a job. He moved across the country to pursue archaeology, his dream career.
• Social Loneliness and Making Connections: Feels distant from making true friends, but finds camaraderie with an older neighbor, and is actively dating, although with mixed results and few deeper connections.
• Dating Woes & Vulnerable Moments: Nick recounts a challenging date where someone openly discussed their mental health and scars (“…was, like, completely relieved [partner didn’t come along]. That's not a good sign.” [15:19]).
• Host’s Empathetic Perspective: Lyle frames Nick’s journey as one of admirable bravery, comparing him to Mike Wazowski in Monsters University:
  • "You might not have that natural Sully scariness… but you’re fearless. You go into this bar by yourself and you start talking to people. You move across the country, you abandon your life…you are fearless." [29:27–30:43]
• Self-Improvement by Stepping Outside Comfort Zone: Nick describes forcing himself to socialize in new places, which gets easier over time (“…once you can just talk to a random person for...a couple minutes, then it becomes so much easier to...try to talk to co-workers.” [23:41])
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Gecko: “You are not, you may not be scary, but you are fearless.” [30:43]
  • Nick: “It feels so much better to actually, like, take steps to improve your life than it does to, like, just sulk about it.” [31:31]
• Takeaway: Big life changes are daunting but can lead to meaningful personal growth. Bravery isn’t about lacking fear, but acting in spite of it.

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3. Cross-Country Romance and Falling in Love in Norway

Caller: Adrian
Timestamps: [35:36] - [51:40]

• Long-Distance Relationship: Adrian drove nine hours across Norway to meet someone met on Facebook Dating (“The first time meeting her was driving across the country.” [37:00])
• Comparing Past and Present Love: Contrasts this open, accepting new relationship with a previous secretive one due to cultural disagreements (“It…was very, very difficult.” [40:20])
• Looking Forward: Adrian shares the anticipation (and nerves) about meeting his partner's family.
• Host's Playful Curiosity: Lyle delves into Norwegian culture (“Did you know that the difference between American Jesus and Norwegian Jesus is that Norwegian Jesus is... Norwegian.” [44:14]), asking about school, religion, and gaming preferences.
• A Negative Experience with Weed: Adrian describes a distressing first encounter with cannabis (“I was lost...dissociating from reality...in pure agony…I felt this uncomfortable feeling in my body constantly.” [46:58–47:45])
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Adrian: “It just feels more real…this one is different.” [40:04]
  • Gecko (on future): “You're gonna have a good life. You're gonna live in the countryside with a wife and a PlayStation and no weed.” [50:14]
  • Adrian (parting advice): “So I just don't give up. Never give up.” [50:46]
• Takeaway: Openness, family, and being seen for who you are matter more than anything; trying new things is valuable even if outcomes are uncertain.

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4. Alone for the First Time: Panic, Coping, and Embracing Solitude

Caller: Nono
Timestamps: [54:44] - [73:07]

• Anxious About Solitude: At 27, Nono is experiencing living alone (partner away for two weeks) after a lifetime in a bustling family home (“I'm pretty much here alone in my house for like, first time ever.” [55:05])
• Isolation vs. Opportunity: Torn between anxiety and excitement for having a space of their own; plans to keep busy with puzzles, drawing, inviting friends over, and self-care.
• Coping with Anxiety & Panic: Open about experiencing panic attacks, having previously been on Lexapro, now practicing acceptance and letting emotions pass (“You kind of gotta feel it before it can be passed. And then I essentially, like, I feel that fear long enough for my body's like, okay, this is actually, like, a false alarm.” [67:15])
• Therapy & Emotional Awareness: Recently started with a new therapist, focusing on identifying bodily sensations and naming emotions (“Sometimes I get so excited...my body's like, oh, shit man, are we, like, dying?” [69:21])
• Host’s Gentle Reassurance: Lyle offers both humor (“Are you gonna watch porn with sound on?” [61:12]) and empathy (“It's a valuable skill to know how to just be alone, you know?” [60:11]).
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Gecko: “Sometimes you have to just accept that you’re kind of a weakling.” [63:48]
  • Nono: “Just don’t give up. Never give up.” [50:46]
  • Nono: “Live your life. Eat good food and sleep well.” [72:47]
• Takeaway: Learning to be comfortable in your own company (even through messy emotions) is a lifetime skill, and small pleasures help ground us.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Comment | |:--------:|---------|:--------------| | 07:33 | Host (Gecko) | “When you're kind of like designing the life that you want to live, you have to keep these things in mind… there’s trade-offs… what you're choosing is isolation.” | | 13:01 | Yu | “Maybe that's what I miss.” | | 19:38 | Nick | “I guess I'm a bit of an odd guy… most of them have just been like kind of… boring.” | | 23:41 | Nick | “Once you can just talk to a random person for a couple minutes, then it becomes so much easier…” | | 30:43 | Host (Gecko) | “You are not, you may not be scary, but you are fearless.” | | 40:04 | Adrian | “It just feels more real… this one is different.” | | 46:58–47:45 | Adrian | “I was lost... dissociating from reality... in pure agony… that was just like the first few minutes.” | | 55:05 | Nono | “I'm pretty much here alone in my house for like, first time ever.” | | 67:15 | Nono | “You kind of gotta feel it before it can be passed… I feel that fear long enough for my body's like, okay, this is actually, like, a false alarm.” | | 72:47 | Nono | “Live your life. Eat good food and sleep well.” |

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Important Timestamps by Topic

• Shepherd’s Story (Yu): [01:53] – [14:33]
• Radical Transformation (Nick): [14:45] – [32:30]
• Norwegian Love & Cannabis Story (Adrian): [35:36] – [51:40]
• Solo Living & Panic (Nono): [54:44] – [73:07]

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Tone and Style

Therapy Gecko’s tone remains warm, conversational, and peppered with humor and pop culture references (“…can I have your permission to use literary themes from Monsters University…” [26:46]). He validates callers’ struggles while nudging them to see other possibilities, mixing earnest encouragement with light sarcasm. Callers respond in earnest, bringing vulnerability, self-deprecation, and hope to the exchange.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a gentle, wide-ranging meditation on loneliness, change, love, and learning to live with discomfort. Through its diverse calls, it affirms that everyone—regardless of age, country, or circumstance—navigates their own version of isolation and longing for connection. Therapy Gecko guides listeners and callers alike with acceptance, humor, and the joyful reminder that it’s okay to change your mind and try new things, over and over, as you figure out what really suits you.

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Quotable Close:
“It's okay to, like, especially when you're young, to try something and realize it's not working for you and then go do something else.” – Host (Gecko), [13:42]

Transcript

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[Nono]

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[Yu]

Hey, Gekko.

[Host (Gecko)]

Hey, what's up, man? What's your name?

[Yu]

My name is Yu. It's Y e H u.

[Host (Gecko)]

Where you calling from, Yeru?

[Yu]

I'm from the Middle East.

[Host (Gecko)]

Oh, very cool. What part of the Middle East?

[Yu]

It's. It's like around Syria.

[Host (Gecko)]

Oh, you're near Syria? Yeah, I'm actually, I'm excited to talk to you because I. I'm curious what's going on in Syria?

[Yu]

What's going on, like, politically?

[Host (Gecko)]

No, I mean not politically, just life. Lifely, you know. What's it like when you walk? What's it like when you step outside of wherever you live and walk around?

[Yu]

Oh, well, it's actually pretty much connected to what I wanted to talk about.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, please.

[Yu]

I'm doing a year of volunteering and a farm which is, like, in a pretty deserty. Not. Not very desert, but it is, like, kind of an isolated area. The farm is, like, one year into construction, so it's a pretty small place. Mm. I'm 17. I'm. I'm doing. I'm doing this for, like, about four months now. I'm really happy with the. With what I'm doing. I'm a. I'm a shepherd here. I'm in charge of some construction and animal care. And what I wanted to talk about was.

[Nono]

Kind of.

[Yu]

It's been starting to get lonely, which is something that it's kind of weird for me to say because I've always considered myself an introvert. But I do find myself starting to miss people and socializing.

[Host (Gecko)]

You said you're 17.

[Nono]

Huh?

[Host (Gecko)]

You said you're 17?

[Yu]

Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

Are you not in some version of, like, school?

[Yu]

Oh, no, I'm done with school.

[Host (Gecko)]

You're done with school?

[Yu]

I was. Yeah. I'm done with. I graduated.

[Host (Gecko)]

Oh, okay.

[Yu]

I was born in October, so.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay.

[Yu]

My age is a little off.

[Host (Gecko)]

So then what are you. Are you not doing a thing that involves being around other people?

[Yu]

Well, because the small. The farm is pretty small. I don't see a lot of people mostly. And also shepherding is also, like, a pretty lonely task. It's seven hours a day from 5am to 12am it's also been very, very meditative and peaceful, which I'm very, very thankful for. It's been very nurturing to me. Nurturing, eventually. Okay, so it has been a little tough.

[Host (Gecko)]

Does anyone. Are. Do you work completely alone?

[Yu]

Well, like, shepherd.

[Nono]

Yeah.

[Yu]

Here in the farm.

[Adrian]

Yeah.

[Yu]

There are some workers that come by. The farmer lives not too far away from here, so he comes to visit as much as you can, but he's, like, a pretty busy guy.

[Host (Gecko)]

Were you.

[Yu]

I do have, like, my own room here.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. Were you. Did you have a lot of friends when you were in school?

[Yu]

Yeah, yeah, I did. And this group was. Group of friends. But now, when once everyone are, like, around the age of 18, everyone have been getting pretty busy with things. You know, some universities, some even go to the military. Do you have any, I guess, tips for building that kind of loneliness?

[Host (Gecko)]

Well, do you like being a shepherd? I mean, would you prefer to be in a job that involves you being around other people more than being by yourself?

[Yu]

I do enjoy my job.

[Nono]

Well, I think.

[Yu]

I think my job is. Is Pretty great for me. I also draw and craft a bit. I, I, I whittle wood, so it goes with what I do. You know, sitting and walking around nature for seven hours a day. Well, I mean, listen, I'm very happy with all.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, but, well, I mean, you, you're, you're living a life that is intentionally isolated, right? I mean, that's, that seems to be what you're doing is you, you, you like shepherding. You're walking around alone in the woods for hours and hours on end. You know, your, your life does not involve being around other people. You know, you're a really young guy. I don't, I don't know, I don't know what your options are. I don't know what it's like living where you live. But I think when you're kind of like designing the life that you want to live, you have to keep these things in mind. So there's trade offs. I mean, you can, you can enjoy, you, you, you can decide that you want to go be a shepherd and live in the kind of outskirts of town and be on your own. But you, you got to really understand what you're choosing. And what you're choosing is isolation. And if that's what you want, then that's okay. But that's what you're, that's what you're choosing. You know, again, I don't know what your options are and what it's like where you live, but if you're doing this thing and you're so fucking young, man. I mean, Jesus Christ, you, you must have just started doing this thing. So take a second for yourself and go, is this really the right thing for me to be doing at the age of 17, to be completely isolating myself and not talking to anyone from a morning to evening? I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of peace to it, but like, clear, clearly not as much if you're feeling so lonely.

[Yu]

Right. The first few months have actually been, I felt pretty ideal. It is something I wanted and the isolation is something that I appreciated. It's always been something that I, I thought would be pretty great for me, which is, it has, but it's really recent, that feeling that I've, I've been having. And yeah, what you're saying is very like, maybe I'll just take that in mind and apply to the choices I make.

[Host (Gecko)]

Mm. Yeah. And by the way, dude, you're so young. Like, you can try out different versions of your life and you can do something for a month and Then go. You know, I thought this is what I wanted, but it's really not working for me. Let's see what else is out there.

[Yu]

Yeah, of course. Well, what I'm doing now isn't forever. It's a. It's a volunteering thing through a program that's, like, for a year. But I do have breaks. I do. I do see my family. I do see my friends.

[Host (Gecko)]

So you're part of a volunteering program. You're part of a volunteering program where there's no other people working with you?

[Yu]

Yeah, in this specifically, dude, it's.

[Host (Gecko)]

That's. You don't want. You don't want to do that, dude. You don't want to do that. You don't. You can't. You're not going to. If you're. If the fact that you're calling me to be like this is not working for me. You don't want to live a life where you're not around other people. It's not conducive to happiness of any kind. I mean, for some people, it fudgeing is, but if you were one of those people, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

[Yu]

Yeah, I guess the thing is that I thought I was, but turns out I'm not.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. You don't have to sound like. You don't have to sound so sad about it, man. You're 17 years old. You can go. You can. You can do other things with your life. It's all right.

[Yu]

I don't mean to sound sad. I'm just. I'm a little tired. That's it. I'm not very.

[Host (Gecko)]

I'm sure. I'm sure you are tired, man. You. I'm sure you are tired. You're a fucking sheep, shepherd, you know, I'm sure you're very tired.

[Yu]

I think I want to go on with this for like, a few. Like, maybe a month more, but.

[Nono]

Cool.

[Yu]

But, yeah, I think I'll just. I'll try out some other things.

[Nono]

Of course.

[Yu]

That sounds good. Maybe more social thing.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. So you live. You live near Syria?

[Yu]

Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's that like?

[Yu]

Well, it's. It's inherently a little isolated from the first place, but I do like. I do like it around here. It's. It's very. How do you say that word? Community, but, like, as a. As an adjective.

[Host (Gecko)]

Communal.

[Yu]

Yes, that. Well, the town that I come from, it's also, like, a very small place, and everyone knows each other.

[Nono]

Mm.

[Yu]

Maybe that's what I miss.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. That's the best thing in life is being around other people. The quality of your life is always gonna be dictated by the quality of the people around you. And you can't exactly be. I mean, you can be friends with sheep, but that'll drive you insane. What's your name again?

[Yu]

I guess so. It's. Yahoo.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yahoo. Yahoo. I appreciate you sharing this with me. I appreciate you calling. Is there anything else you want to kind of talk about in the. In this realm?

[Yu]

I think. I think that's it. Thank you. I'll remember what you said.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay. All right. Yeah.

[Nono]

Good.

[Host (Gecko)]

Go. Yeah. Try to find a Build, a light build. Try to. It's. This is okay. It's okay to, like, especially when you're young, to, like, try something and realize it's not working for you and then go do something else. So.

[Yu]

Yeah. Also, I'm happy with, you know, experiencing different things.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah.

[Yu]

Even though it doesn't turn out to be what I want to do.

[Host (Gecko)]

No. Finding the melancholy in your own isolation is a. What's the word? There's A trend on TikTok. A core memory. Yeah. Core memory. Let's say that. A core experience.

[Yu]

I guess so.

[Host (Gecko)]

Well, good luck, man. I'll. I'll see you around the universe.

[Yu]

Yeah. Thank you, man.

[Host (Gecko)]

Have a good one.

[Yu]

You too, man.

[Host (Gecko)]

Being a sheep shepherd in Syria. There's so many different lives that you can live. Hello.

[Yu]

Hello.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's up, man? What's your name?

[Nick]

I'm Nick.

[Host (Gecko)]

Nick. What's happening with you, Nick? How's life?

[Nick]

Life's overall good, you know.

[Host (Gecko)]

Glad to hear that. What's making it overall good?

[Nick]

Like, last year, I realized I have free will and just kind of blew up my life and moved across the country to, like, you know, actually do my. My dream job and stuff.

[Host (Gecko)]

Oh, cool. What's. Okay, tell me. Tell me what that looks like. Blowing up your life.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Nono]

Yeah.

[Yu]

So I was.

[Nick]

I was in a pretty, like, bad relationship for six years, and I went home to see my family, and my partner didn't come with, and I realized I was, like, completely relieved. And that's. That's not a. I realized that's not a good way to feel about your partner.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick]

So, yeah, I. I broke up with them, and it was, you know, a whole. A whole thing for sure. And I was working a job that I hated at the time. I was in, like, a cancer research lab, and so they went under, and I was out of a job completely. Just living off the severance for a little while. But I went to school for archaeology, so I. I knew A guy that I worked with a couple years ago and he hooked me up with a job out in California doing archaeology. So I just kind of left everything behind, packed up what I could fit in my car and just drove across the country.

[Adrian]

And then I'm.

[Nick]

I've been kind of. I've been here like half a year.

[Yu]

It's.

[Nick]

It's pretty good, you know, I'm chilling. Wish I had some more homies maybe.

[Host (Gecko)]

How? You said you've been here half a year. Have. Have you been doing anything to try to make any homies?

[Nick]

Yeah, Yeah, I go to the bars a lot, just talk to random people and I. I've met. I've met some cool, cool dudes, but no, no, like real kinship, I guess.

[Host (Gecko)]

Interesting.

[Nick]

I. I do have one. One good friend. My. My neighbor, he's like. He's a 70 year old dude from Compton and he. He just, you know, want someone to smoke weed and drink all day with.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. And are you there to provide?

[Nick]

Of course.

[Nono]

Of course.

[Host (Gecko)]

Cool.

[Nick]

Trying to liquor store all the time.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay, so how do you feel about your decision over the past six months? Are you. Are you like, okay? I'm. I'm glad that I decided to do this.

[Nick]

Yeah. Oh, definitely. I was living in North Carolina before and, you know, I'm sure people are happy in North Carolina, but I. I kind of hated it there.

[Yu]

It was.

[Nick]

It wasn't great.

[Host (Gecko)]

Why'd you hate it there? I don't know.

[Yu]

I'm.

[Nick]

I'm like a big hiker. I didn't feel like there were any good hiking spots. The people are like, meh. And then obviously there were like so many bad memories associated with that point. That felt good to not be there anymore.

[Host (Gecko)]

So you had this thing where your partner wasn't coming with you to a thing and you were relieved. You're like, okay, that's not a bad. That's a bad sign. Yeah. Are you dating? Are you going out to try to find a new person? What's up with that?

[Nick]

Yeah, I've been. I've been dating a lot, but it's bleak out there, man.

[Yu]

I'm sure.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. What? Yeah, tell me, tell me what's going on. Tell me how about how your experience has been? Why is it bleak? The bleak. How's the bleakness manifest itself?

[Nick]

I don't know. I'm. I guess I'm a bit of.

[Yu]

A.

[Nick]

Bit of an odd guy. And so far on all these dates, if most of them have just been like kind of, you know, it sounds mean, but a little boring. Like, they don't have any, like, interests or opinions or hobbies. And then on the other end, I meet people who have, like, way crazier circumstances than me.

[Host (Gecko)]

Crazy. In what way?

[Nick]

Yeah, I went on a date with this. This one girl, and she said I. We were talking about, like, music taste, and I. I said, oh, I. I never make playlists or anything. I just kind of, like, put on my, like, songs, and it sounds kind of schizophrenic sometimes. And, like, her face dropped, and she was like, I have schizophrenia. And then she told me this story about how, like, she didn't know for six months and, like, the voices had told her to, like, slit her wrist. And she, like, showed me she had, like, these deep scars going, like, all the way down her arm.

[Host (Gecko)]

Whoa. Yeah. I mean, that happened. That happens. That happens. It's not a unique experience, you know? It's not a unique experience. How many d. How many dates have you been on here?

[Nick]

I don't. More. More than 10. So I've.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay.

[Nick]

You know, I've given. Given it a good shot, but I don't think I want to meet people on Tinder. It just doesn't. Doesn't feel like anything.

[Host (Gecko)]

You're a Tinder guy. You're not a hinge guy. I feel like Tinder. Tinder is, like, from college years. Tinder feels like. Like a young. A young person's app.

[Adrian]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah. I don't know. I. I did hinge for a little bit, but, you know, you have to, like, send out the personalized message for every single one, and then most of the time, you're just never going to hear anything back. And it's just like. That feels even more demoralizing somehow.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, no, it's not. It's. It is. Truthfully, yes. Not great out there. That is true. You didn't hear anything back on here, so you've been more successful on the Tinders than the hinges.

[Nick]

Yeah, granted, I. I haven't tried hinge recently. I. I, like, post breakup, when I was still, like, working things out in my life, then I wasn't. I wasn't getting much. Much on either, but I, like, you know, did all this and kind of remade everything. And I say getting a lot of attention on Tinder, but I. Maybe I should reach a hinge.

[Adrian]

I just.

[Nick]

Don't.

[Host (Gecko)]

You say that again. You did a bunch of shit and then reinvented yourself. What does that mean?

[Nick]

Yeah, well, you know, like, after being in, like, a shitty relationship for so long, I feel like I lost a lot of My sense of identity.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And I. I don't know. I. I was, like, really scared of social interaction, especially with people I didn't know. And so I just, like, started forcing myself to go out to bars and stuff and just, like, talking to random people.

[Host (Gecko)]

Cool.

[Nick]

You know, even if it's just, you know, a short conversation.

[Host (Gecko)]

Did you go. Did you go by yourself to do this?

[Adrian]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah, most of the time.

[Host (Gecko)]

Gutsy. Okay. How'd that go for you? I like this.

[Yu]

It's.

[Nick]

It's really hard at first. It's. It's, like, super scary at first, but.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, of course it's.

[Nick]

It gets so much easier. And, you know, once I feel like once you do, once you can just, like, talk to a random person for, like, a couple minutes, then it becomes so much easier to, like, I don't know, talk to girls who are interested, too, and. Or, you know, try to talk to co workers and stuff. So, yeah, I just started, you know, approaching random people at the bar, and it just became less scary over time.

[Host (Gecko)]

Did you meet any solid romantic interests through. Through this?

[Yu]

I.

[Nick]

No, not. Not any solid ones. No. Mostly I've been interested in this. In one of my co workers, actually. But that's. That's like a whole saga, I guess.

[Host (Gecko)]

Why is that a whole saga? What's the saga?

[Yu]

I don't know.

[Nono]

I.

[Nick]

Because sometimes it feels like she's into me, and then other times not so much. And I don't know. I'm. You know, it's not happening yet, but I don't want to write up the possibility in the future, you know?

[Yu]

I mean.

[Host (Gecko)]

Mm. Okay. What? So have you told her that you are interested in her romantically?

[Adrian]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah. Like, so I'm an archaeologist, so we.

[Host (Gecko)]

We kind of talked about dinosaurs or bones.

[Nick]

That's. That's like human stuff, but. Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay.

[Nick]

But, yeah, so, like, they. They kind of send me all around the state. Like, we don't work, like, in an office or, like, have co workers most of the time. And so she just happened to be, like, in the town I actually live in, and. And we went out. We went out a few times, like, just as friends to the bar, and I drunkenly told her I liked her, and. And she. She agreed to come over and I, like, make dinner for her. But then we were like, the next day when. When sober, she said she was still, like, getting over this. This guy she had been seeing. So I don't know if nothing happening yet, you know?

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay. You seem like you're doing. Can I be honest with you? What's your name again?

[Nick]

I'm Nick.

[Host (Gecko)]

Nick. Nick, I. I'm impressed by you, actually. I think you seem like you're actually doing great. I don't know if you think that way about your life, but I think you're doing great.

[Nick]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Host (Gecko)]

I know. I really do. I think you're put your. Because here's the thing, right? I'm gonna. I'm gonna quote Monsters University. Can I have your permission to. Can I have your permission to use literary themes from Monsters University and how they may apply to your situation?

[Nick]

Of course.

[Host (Gecko)]

Please do so in Monsters University. And I. I'm gonna make a lot of what I'm about to say up because I haven't seen that movie in about 37 years. But in Monsters University, I believe Mike Wazowski has a bit of, like, a jealousy problem going on with Sully, Right? Because Sully is like a jock scary guy. You know, He's. He. And he's a naturally confident dude. Sully, we all know people. We all have people like this in our lives that we see who. You know, they. Whatever, they're at a bar and. Or they're at a thing, and they just naturally. They're. They're. They're tall and beautiful and they exude confidence in everything that they do. They just. They just do it. It's like magic to them. Or. No, it's not even like magic to them. It's like nature to them to just be this confident, amazing person. Right? That's Sully. And then you have Mike Wazowski, who's a tad more meek, a tad more naturally nervous, and he works really hard. He studies a lot of theory on how to be scary, you know, because that's what's valued in the Monsters University universe is. Is being scary. And Sully. No, Mike is just jealous because Mike's been putting in all this effort to achieve these things that Sully is. Is just so naturally inclined to, you know, being scary. And so. And. And Mike Wazowski, he. He's just through. Through his own physical limitations. He's not scary. I promise. This is going somewhere, but there's one point in the movie and I forget exactly what happens, but Sully says to. I think. I think Mike. Sully saves Sully's life in some way, shape or form. Something happens. I forget. Well, hold on. Give me one second. Let me look up the Wikipedia page for Monsters University, because this. This really touched me and it reminds me of you in a way. Okay. It's 2013. Damn. That. That feels like, it wasn't that long ago. Okay, whatever, Blah. Oh, yeah. Mike sneaks in to the human world full of children, and he tries to fucking save Sully. I don't know. Who cares? Okay, here's the point of what I'm trying to say is that at one point, Sully says to Mike, he goes, listen, Mike, you may not be scary, but you are fearless. And that was touching to me. You know what I mean? Because look. Look at you, right? You might not have that natural. If we can sub in scariness for confidence, right? You may not have that natural Sully scariness that he goes into everything with. You might be more of a Mike Wazowski, but you're fearless. You know, you go into this bar by yourself and you start talking to people. You move across the country, you abandon your life. You may not do it with such confident swagger, but you do it nonetheless. Because as. Because as Sully says to Mike Wazowski, you are not. You may not be scary, but you are fearless. And so that's why I think your life is like. Is like Monsters University.

[Nick]

I never thought about it like that before. Yeah, that's beautiful.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's your name again?

[Nick]

Nick.

[Host (Gecko)]

Nick. I want to be, like, you know. You know how, like, Jordan Peterson is famous for, like, whatever. He, like, gives, like, lectures about the Lion King or whatever. I want to do that, but with. Also, I want to do that with Disney movies anyway, who cares? All right, I'm sorry, what's your name one more time? Nick. Nick. I'm proud of you, Nick. I'm inspired by you. I think you're a good person. I think you're going to do well.

[Nick]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Nono]

It's.

[Nick]

It feels so much better to actually, like, take steps to improve your life than it does to, like, just sulk about it.

[Host (Gecko)]

Go watch Monsters University.

[Nick]

I will.

[Host (Gecko)]

I think there's a tie in Video Game two. What's the tie in? Video.

[Nick]

Oh, was that, like, a PS3 game or something?

[Host (Gecko)]

In. In July 11th of 2013, Disney's Club Penguin hosted a Monsters University Takeover event to promote the film. Okay, that's probably offline by now, but anyway. Wow. It grossed 500 million Hong Kong dollars opening day. All right, Nick?

[Nick]

Yes.

[Host (Gecko)]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Nick]

If you live in Reading, hit me up.

[Host (Gecko)]

Have a good one.

[Nick]

Live your dreams.

[Host (Gecko)]

Thank you very much for calling.

[Nick]

All right, love you.

[Host (Gecko)]

Bye Bye. Nick, that really did. I was. I'm so glad that I had the opportunity to talk about Monsters University. Been wanting to talk about that for a while. It was a real touching scene. I'm gonna go watch that movie when I'm done. When I'm done. Whatever else, whatever I'm doing. Hey, folks, I'm here today to tell you guys about TikTok's hashtag live fest2025. I know a lot of you guys are TikTok scrollers. Maybe that's how you found this show in the first place. Maybe some of you are content creators yourselves doing wacky dances or or singing songs or sharing stuff from your life on there. But whichever one you are, you're gonna wanna be part of TikTok's Live Fest 2025. There will be all kinds of performances, challenges, battles and big community moments for you to dive into. Anything can happen. And that is the magic of TikTok Live. Creators of every kind from all over the world are gathering together and. And from December 10th to the 22nd, Live Fest is going full throttle. So whether you are a fan or a creator, search livefest2025 on TikTok to catch everything happening during Live Fest. And let's celebrate Live together. Hey folks. I am very excited to finally have a therapy sponsor for this podcast that takes and insurance. This episode is sponsored by Rula. They are a healthcare company on a mission to make getting therapy from a licensed professional easy and affordable. They accept most major insurance plans and the average copay per session is only $15. Every therapist on Rula is carefully vetted and chosen for their expertise so you will always know that you're in good hands. Thousands have already trusted Rula to support them on their journey toward improved mental health and overall well being. Head on over to rula.com gecko that's R U L A dot com gecko to get started today. After you sign up, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support this show and let them know that therapy Gecko sent you. Go to R U L A and take the first step toward better mental health. Today you deserve quality care from someone who cares.

[Nono]

Shh.

[Podcast Announcer]

You won't believe what my new friend just told me about dinosaurs. Is your child having conversations you never imagined? Are they learning without realizing it? It's not a tablet. It's not a toy. It's Meco Mini plus. The AI powered companion that turns kids curiosity into endless learning. Hear the future of playtime. Meet the extraordinary Miko Mini Plus. Only at Costco.

[Host (Gecko)]

Hello.

[Yu]

Hello.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's up?

[Adrian]

Am I in?

[Host (Gecko)]

You're in. What's your name?

[Adrian]

No Fucking way. No fucking way. My name. My name is Adrian.

[Host (Gecko)]

How's life, Adrian?

[Adrian]

My life is pretty good right now. Jesus Christ.

[Nono]

My heart's beating so fast.

[Yu]

What? What the.

[Adrian]

This is crazy to me. Okay, Mine is pretty good.

[Host (Gecko)]

Why is life good? Tell me more about that.

[Adrian]

I recently took a. Took a chance to. I tried dating apps, and I met this girl, and she lives across the country, and so I drove across the country to meet her, and shit's good.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay, what do you like about this girl?

[Adrian]

She is very funny. She is very beautiful. She has same interest as me, and she has a beautiful singing voice. She strives to become an artist, and. Yeah, her voice is gorgeous.

[Host (Gecko)]

And you drove across. That was the first time meeting her was driving across the country?

[Adrian]

Yes, after we spoken for about a week. So I drove nine hours.

[Host (Gecko)]

And. So what's the plan here? Are you gonna just keep driving back and forth nine hours?

[Adrian]

I only did that once. I've been there two more times now, and those two times I flew instead of driving because the driving trip was exhausting.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, I'm sure. Okay. Okay. So is she gonna come to you now?

[Adrian]

Hopefully one day. But, like, the school she goes to, because she's, like, in. I know what it would be in English, but it's like, I. I don't even know. But she. She goes to school Monday to Saturday, so she kind of only has one day weekend, so it's kind of difficult for her to travel here when she has school all the time. But she will come sometime early next year, I'm sure. Mm.

[Host (Gecko)]

And what. What's your life like? Where are you calling from? You have a peculiar phone number, or at least peculiar to me as an American.

[Adrian]

I am calling from Norway.

[Host (Gecko)]

Norway? What's going on in Norway? What's happening there right now?

[Adrian]

Surprisingly enough, it's at least where I live. There is no snow, which you kind of wouldn't expect from Norway because Norway is, like, known for all the snow.

[Nono]

Mm.

[Host (Gecko)]

Ryan, where and where in Norway are you? Oslo.

[Adrian]

One hour away from Oslo.

[Nick]

Fairly close.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay. And is this woman a Norwegian woman?

[Adrian]

Yes. She lives in. I don't know if you're familiar with Norwegian cities, but she lives in Bergen, which is, like, on the Midwest coast.

[Host (Gecko)]

Sure, I know. I know Bergen. I'm a Bergen boy. Okay. And are you ready? Are you ready to fall in love?

[Adrian]

Dude, I am falling in love.

[Host (Gecko)]

What does that feel like? What does that feel like, falling in love?

[Nono]

It is.

[Adrian]

It is exciting. Yeah, it is.

[Yu]

It's.

[Adrian]

It feels good. Feels good.

[Yu]

Mm.

[Host (Gecko)]

Have you Been in love before. Is this your first time in love?

[Adrian]

I haven't been involved to this degree before now. I wouldn't say that.

[Host (Gecko)]

Interesting.

[Adrian]

This one is different.

[Host (Gecko)]

Why?

[Adrian]

It just feels more real. Just the last person I was with had a difficult because her family was.

[Nono]

Very.

[Adrian]

Very non accepting. And so I was kind of like, in secret and pushed away kind of. So it was very, very difficult.

[Host (Gecko)]

And what were they not accepting of?

[Adrian]

Like, she was from Sri Lanka, so they were not expecting of having a Norwegian boyfriend because they wanted, like a successful Sri Lankan guy instead. I guess. I see they were like, very conservative.

[Host (Gecko)]

And now this woman does not want a successful Sri Lankan guy. She's down for a regular Joe Schmo, Bergen boy. Although you're not a Bergen boy, you're a.

[Nono]

This is.

[Adrian]

This is my. This is my previous relationship.

[Yu]

So.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yes.

[Nono]

Anyway.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yes. So now. But now this woman loves you for who you are.

[Adrian]

Yes.

[Host (Gecko)]

What dating app is this?

[Adrian]

Parents? It's kind of embarrassing because my. My. My colleague was talking about this dating app because she had had very bad experiences. I just saw it. Let's see how bad it is. So I tried it and it's Facebook dating.

[Host (Gecko)]

You're not the first. You're not the first Facebook dating success story that we've heard on this podcast. Actually, weirdly enough.

[Adrian]

That is surprising, actually.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, weirdly enough.

[Yu]

I really.

[Adrian]

I didn't really use it for the intent to date. It was just using it for trying to see the experience. My colleague at a. To see, like, how bad really is it?

[Host (Gecko)]

So how does this relationship compare to the other one that you were in?

[Adrian]

This one is I. This one is way better because the. The previous one, I could only, like, be with them for hours and had to be in secret. We had to, like, sneak out or, like, avoid certain people and such. And this one, I can just. It's just open and I can actually talk to her and I can talk to her family. I can talk to her friends properly.

[Host (Gecko)]

Mm. Mm. So you've met this woman's family already?

[Adrian]

No, I'm meeting them in two weeks or 12 days, actually.

[Host (Gecko)]

You're go back to Bergen?

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Adrian]

No, because she doesn't. She's not from Bergen. She just lives there for school. So she lives like a few hours south, but it's also on the. The west side of Norway, so taking the train over there in. In 12 days after Christmas.

[Host (Gecko)]

Cool.

[Adrian]

Because in Norway. In Norway, actually, 11 days. 11 days. Because in Norway, Christmas is on the 24th. I don't know why the US is on the 25th. But I know a lot of European countries has it on the 24th.

[Host (Gecko)]

It's because we have different Jesuses.

[Adrian]

That makes a whole lot of sense. Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

You guys have Norwegian Jesus and we have American Jesus. The biggest difference between American Jesus and Norwegian Jesus is that Norwegian Jesus is. He's Norwegian.

[Nono]

Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

Did you know that?

[Adrian]

I know that now.

[Host (Gecko)]

Do you know a lot about Jesus?

[Adrian]

Well, not other than what I learned in school.

[Host (Gecko)]

What did you learn in school about Jesus?

[Adrian]

But he is the Lord and Savior and such?

[Nono]

I don't remember much.

[Adrian]

I didn't really enjoy. Enjoy religion.

[Host (Gecko)]

Did you go to. Did you go to a religious school?

[Yu]

No.

[Adrian]

In most schools in Norway, you can't, like, enforce certain religions and such, at least not in elementary school. So it's like. It's not that many Christian schools and such.

[Host (Gecko)]

So why were you learning about Jesus in school then?

[Adrian]

Because Norway is a Christian country and.

[Nick]

We learn about all the religions.

[Host (Gecko)]

What did you learn about Hinduism?

[Adrian]

I do not remember.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's your favorite? Which religion do you think is correct?

[Adrian]

I am not fond of religion because it causes so much conflict. So I'd like to believe none of them. I don't believe there is a God.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's the best between the PlayStation 3, the Xbox 360, and the Nintendo Wii?

[Adrian]

I grew up with the PlayStation 3, so for me, I'd say PlayStation 3.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's your name again?

[Adrian]

My name is Adrian.

[Host (Gecko)]

Adrian. I like you, Adrian. You got a good vibe.

[Adrian]

I like you too, man.

[Host (Gecko)]

You're gonna get married probably to this Facebook lady. You guys will have. Yeah, you guys will get married. You'll buy a.

[Nono]

You're gonna have two cats.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, have two cats. Get a PlayStation. Get a PlayStation 7. You know, that'll be good.

[Adrian]

By the time. By that time, it's probably PlayStation only. Only PlayStation 6. If. If that will be released in time. I'm not sure I want to. I want to talk with you about the first time I tried weed. A few months ago, I think two months ago or something.

[Host (Gecko)]

Oh, you. You tried weed a few months ago? Yeah, sure.

[Adrian]

Yes, for the first time ever. And I had it.

[Nick]

A terrible experience.

[Host (Gecko)]

Wow. Okay, tell me, tell me, tell me more.

[Adrian]

Very unpleasant. Like, I. I only did, like, I think because I. I smoked with my brothers and their friends and they're like, they. They smoke a lot and so they do, like. They make joints with, like, tobacco and weed. And I'm not. I'm not someone who uses nicotine of any kind, so I. I think it was like a mix of being, being high and getting a nickel shock. And so I took like only four, four big puffs of these joints and, and I was, I was lost. And I was like dissociating from reality and just suddenly, like constantly, just suddenly realizing, what the fuck? I'm alive. I was just sitting on the couch, disappearing completely for like a minute. And I come back and what, what the. I just remember that I'm alive. But that was just like the first few minutes, that was, that wasn't, that was like not too bad experience. Then I was, I went inside and sat on the couch inside. And then I was just in pure agony. I was laying there and I could not move and I could not see and I could not think for myself. I was just trapped. And I felt this uncomfortable feeling in my body constantly. And I don't know what it was. And then like a few minutes later, I just felt like I had to throw up. So I just snapped out of it, ran outside, threw up everything I'd eaten that day. And then I went to go sleep because. And then I, I just kept feeling that horrible feeling in my body. But yeah, I, I don't think I want to try that again.

[Host (Gecko)]

Really? I feel like. You didn't, you didn't, you didn't like see visions of Bob Marley and. You didn't.

[Adrian]

No, I had no visions. I, I mean, not really. I didn't really have any visions. I, I could feel like, you know, you know how you played GTA 5 and been high in GTA 5?

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adrian]

You, you know that filter that you have in GTA 5 high. That's what I saw. Like, I saw the, the green, like shaky screen, I guess that was like what I saw constantly.

[Host (Gecko)]

How did you get weed in Norway? Because it's not legal there, right?

[Adrian]

It's not legal. I don't know how they get it. They have their dealers, they buy bags of weed. I don't know. I, I, as I said, I, I smoked with my brothers and their friends, so like they got it themselves, but people either imported or probably planted legally.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's your name again?

[Adrian]

Adrian.

[Host (Gecko)]

Adrian. Well, Adrian, I wish you a good drug free Norwegian marriage life. You're gonna have a good life. You're gonna live in the countryside with a wife and a PlayStation and no weed. And it's gonna be good for you. I'm excited for chats and two cats. Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Adrian]

I've actually never thought of this. I listened to your podcast for four and a half years or five years that I still haven't thought about.

[Nono]

What?

[Adrian]

So I just don't give up. Never give up.

[Host (Gecko)]

Beautiful. Thank you, Adrian.

[Adrian]

Thank you. Gecko. Also, one more thing. I saw you at an aquarium the other last week. It was a green gecko.

[Host (Gecko)]

Oh, okay. I thought you were like. So. I thought you saw me at an aquarium. Insane. Yeah. No. Yeah. You psyched me out. Don't psych me out. Don't psych me out like that, man. You're. You're convinced. You don't, don't, don't. Don't be cute with me about that kind of man. You're gonna drive me insane. You're going to make me think I was in Norway or something, you know?

[Adrian]

No.

[Host (Gecko)]

Driving me nuts. Brother.

[Nono]

Maybe.

[Adrian]

Maybe it was your brother. I saw a green gecko and. And it looked a lot like you.

[Host (Gecko)]

Have a good one, Adrian. Good luck to you.

[Adrian]

Have a good one too. Bye.

[Nono]

Bye.

[Host (Gecko)]

That freaked me out. I was like, fuck, was I in an aquarium in Norway? Maybe I was. You don't know me. I don't know me. I don't know where I've been. Aquarium in Norway. I could be at a zoo in Russia. I could be anywhere. Hey, folks, I'm here today to tell you guys about TikTok's Live Fest2025. I know a lot of you guys are TikTok scrollers. Maybe that's how you found this show in the first place. Maybe some of you are content creators yourselves, doing wacky dances or singing songs or sharing stuff from your life on there. But whichever one you are, you're gonna wanna be part of TikTok's Live Fest 2025. There will be all kinds of performances, challenges, battles and big community moments for you to dive into. Anything can happen, and that is the magic of TikTok Live. Creators of every kind from all over the world are gathering together and from December 10th to the 22nd, Live Fest is going full throttle. So whether you are a fan or a creator, search livefest2025 on TikTok to catch everything happening during Live Fest and let's celebrate live together. Hey, folks, I am very excited to finally have a therapy sponsor for this podcast that takes insurance. This episode is sponsored by Rula. They are a healthcare company on a mission to make getting therapy from a licensed professional a easy and affordable. They accept most major insurance plans and the average copay per session is only $15. Every therapist on Rula is carefully vetted and chosen for their expertise. So you will always know that you're in good hands. Thousands have already trusted Rula to support them on their journey toward improved mental health and overall well being. Head on over to rula.com gecko that's R U L A dot com gecko to get started today. After you sign up, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support this show and let them know that therapy Gecko sent you. Go to R u l a.com gecko and take the first step toward better mental health. Today you deserve quality care from someone who cares.

[Nono]

Shh.

[Podcast Announcer]

You won't believe what my new friend just told me about dinosaurs. Is your child having conversations you never imagined? Are they learning without realizing it? It's not a tablet. It's not a toy. It's Meco Mini plus, the AI powered companion that turns curiosity into endless learning. Hear the future of playtime. Meet the extraordinary Meco Mini Plus. Only at Costco.

[Nono]

From Nono.

[Host (Gecko)]

Hello.

[Nono]

Hello.

[Host (Gecko)]

What's up? What's your name?

[Nono]

Oh, shit. I'm Nono.

[Host (Gecko)]

Nono. What's going on, Nono?

[Nono]

Nothing, Geck. How are you?

[Host (Gecko)]

I'm doing okay. I'm hanging in there, trying my best. Just another day. What's going on with you, Nono? How can I geck you today?

[Nono]

I'll be honest. I called on whimsical cuz, like, my partner just left to see their family and I'm pretty much here alone in my house for like, first time ever.

[Host (Gecko)]

Hold on. You're alone in your house for the first time ever?

[Nono]

Because, like, I used to live with my whole family in one building. Um, and like, they're not far, but I'm so used to just like going up a floor and like, now it's just me. Mm. So, yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay. Okay. This is the. You. How old are you?

[Nono]

Oh, I'm 27.

[Host (Gecko)]

You're 27 years old and this is your first. First time ever in the house alone in your entire life?

[Nono]

Yeah, man.

[Host (Gecko)]

Really?

[Nono]

Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

That doesn't make any sense to me. How did that. How did that happen? Like, when you were growing up, did you never find yourself in the house alone at one point? Like, did you have a bunch of brothers and sisters or something?

[Nono]

Well, my whole family would live in one building. So, like, if there's usually someone home, so, like, I would just go downstairs and see my grandma or like, you know, my sister would usually be in the other room. Or like, I don't know, I'd go upstairs and see one of my uncles or my cousins. There's usually someone in the house.

[Host (Gecko)]

And so where do you live now? Do you live. You live with your significant other?

[Nono]

Yeah. And, like.

[Host (Gecko)]

Go ahead.

[Nono]

Oh. Oh. I was gonna say we don't live that far from my family, but it's like, pretty much we live on the other side of town, and it's, like, it's. It's a little weird for me, I think. I guess. Mm.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay. And how long have you been living with your significant other for?

[Nono]

We've only been living together for, like, a few months now.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay, and in that entire few months, you've never been at the house alone?

[Nono]

I mean, not for longer than, like, a few hours.

[Host (Gecko)]

Are that. I mean, that counts? Why is this different than a few hours? This is, like, the whole day you're alone.

[Nono]

Well, they're gonna be gone for, like, two weeks.

[Host (Gecko)]

Oh, okay. All right. So this is your first time, an extended period of time alone. Okay.

[Nono]

Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. Now I see. Okay.

[Nono]

And, like, I was a little excited to have house to myself, but also a little nervous, but, like, you know, I. I got stuff to do here.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. What are you going to do?

[Nono]

I have puzzles. I like drawing, reading. Usually I'll, like, throw on a podcast or music while I'm doing around the house. I did invite, like, friends to over to come spend, like, I don't know, like, maybe they'll work from home or something from here.

[Host (Gecko)]

And what did they say?

[Nono]

I have two friends who will probably come over during those two weeks at some point, so. That's nice. I could always go visit my sister. Go back to the family house. Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay. Okay. And do you, like. Are you. Are you nervous about being home alone? Like, you just, like, with this being the first time, it's. It's been a thing for you for an extended period of time?

[Nono]

Yeah. Like, I have, like. So I get, like, panic attacks sometimes. And so, like, I've been talking to, like, therapist on, like, how to best deal with those. So I guess this is kind of, like, maybe some kind of, like, weird universe trial for myself. I don't know. I mean, I know I'll be okay, like, in the end, but my lizard brain is like, oh, you're gonna die when you're all alone. You know, Kind of have to just sit through it, I guess.

[Host (Gecko)]

No, I mean, it's a valuable skill to know how to just be alone, you know?

[Yu]

Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

Especially if you've never done it before.

[Nono]

Yeah. And I don't know. I. I guess when I was younger, I was more comfortable with being by myself, but I don't know I feel like as an adult you just are more anxious about everything in general, so you get very set in your ways and like, I was used to like, just like, I don't know, just going upstairs and saying hi to somebody and like, I don't know. My, my family is much more communal than my partners.

[Host (Gecko)]

So. Where, where is your partner? What are they doing?

[Nono]

They're going to the Caribbean to see their, their mom.

[Host (Gecko)]

Cool.

[Nono]

Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

Well, I mean, shit, I mean, I live alone. I'm pretty used to it. I mean, what are you gonna, are you gonna watch porn with sound on?

[Nono]

I guess I could do that if I really, really wanted to. I don't know. You put on music as loud as I want.

[Host (Gecko)]

You do that. Yeah. Have a dance.

[Nono]

I got, I got, I got a pet. Pet snakes.

[Host (Gecko)]

Are you gonna let him loose?

[Nono]

Yeah, I mean, he's been, he's been loose before. He's not, he's pretty small, but.

[Yu]

It'S.

[Nono]

Nice to just kind of let him wiggle around the house. He's very curious.

[Host (Gecko)]

He's curious. What's he curious about eating?

[Nono]

I don't know, eating rats and people, I suppose. I mean, I don't think he's big enough to eat anybody. He's maybe like, I don't know, like half an inch in diameter.

[Host (Gecko)]

Mm.

[Nono]

Hmm.

[Host (Gecko)]

What do you do for a living?

[Nono]

I'm not working right now, but I was, I was a baker for like almost a decade.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. What kind of stuff would you bake?

[Nono]

We did like macarons, cookies. I've made so much tiramisu in my career, I'm kind of like sick of it. But I used to work in like hotels. I usually did like large scale production, But like, I don't know, I got pretty, I got pretty tired of doing that. Like, it's like, it's, it's a great, like, I thought it was a really great experience. I don't, I don't necessarily regret getting into pastry, but sometimes I wish I'd done something different. I don't know, like it's. I think anyone in the service industry knows, like it's very labor intensive work.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yes.

[Nono]

And like I, it's, it's just not for me. Like I'm kind of a weakling, I guess. I don't know.

[Host (Gecko)]

No, I understand that. I'm also kind of a weakling. You know, it is what it is. Sometimes you have to just accept that you're kind of a weakling. I. It's snowing outside and I was like watching, I was watching someone Outside, like, shoveling all the snow. And I was like, I just know. I'm so glad. I'm just like. I just know I'm, like, too much of a. To have, like, do. Do real. You know what I mean?

[Nono]

Yeah. I don't know. Like, my partner is always telling me, like, you're not built for hard labor. That's my job. And I'm like, you. You sit behind a desk, but thanks.

[Host (Gecko)]

What do they do?

[Nono]

They essentially just sell software.

[Host (Gecko)]

Okay. I mean, that's.

[Nono]

That's a big boy job. Yeah.

[Host (Gecko)]

So what are you most excited about for these two weeks?

[Nono]

I guess just kind of, like.

[Yu]

Being.

[Nono]

Able to fully relax by myself, you know? Sometimes you just can't fully relax unless you're, like, entirely by yourself, whether it's, like, in your room or, like, I don't know, like, maybe you have the whole house to yourself. Kind of like. Like when you're, like, a teenager and your parents leave for the night and you get to, like, sit in the living room and watch cartoons at full volume.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, yeah, Yeah. That would be awesome. Is that your plan? Are you gonna watch cartoons at full volume?

[Nono]

Sure. I've been watching the new Fiona and Cake, which is. I think it's good. Some people don't like it, but I think it's good.

[Host (Gecko)]

Mm. Okay. So, I mean, I think this is a good opportunity for you to experience what it's like to live without another person for a bit. I mean, are you. Would you consider yourself anxiously attached?

[Nono]

You know, I'm pretty anxious person in general. I mean, I don't know. Like, I get left alone with my thoughts for too long, and my brain loves telling me that I'm, like, two seconds from dying, which I know is fake, but.

[Host (Gecko)]

You know, your brain is telling you that you're two seconds from dying.

[Nono]

I don't know. Like, I. I started getting, like, these weird panic attacks, like, a few years back. And I did take medication for it for a while, but at some point I was like, I kind of want to try dealing with this without my meds, and I'm about to lose my insurance, so let's stop taking the meds for a while.

[Host (Gecko)]

Sure. Not a bad idea, I guess. What kind of meds are they?

[Nono]

They were anti depressants. I was on that. Good, good. Lexapro.

[Host (Gecko)]

Cool. Cool. What do you. How do you normally calm down without using meds?

[Nono]

Well, I. Essentially, I guess I just gotta, like, let myself feel the fear for a little bit, you know, like, you kind of gotta feel it before it can be Passed. And then I essentially, like, I feel that fear long enough for my body's like, okay, this is actually, like, a false alarm. We're not dying. And then, I don't know, then I'll, like, make myself some tea. But on, like, a podcast or, like, a chill, a YouTube video or show, you know, get up, maybe take some deep breaths.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah.

[Yu]

Yeah.

[Nono]

Like, I know essentially what I have to do. I think it's just sometimes my. My. My brain has a hard time believing that everything is fine.

[Host (Gecko)]

What happens when you talk to a real therapist about this? What do they say?

[Nono]

Well, they usually. Well, I just started talking to a therapist again recently.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah. And what have they said?

[Nono]

He was basically, like. He'll basically, like, ask me, like, how it feels in my body when I have anxiety or, like, when I'm feeling these things. Like, I. I have, like, a really hard time in general just, like, telling what emotion I'm feeling. And so sometimes I'll feel, like, a really big emotion, and, like, I don't know what it is. So my body just immediately defaults to, like, panic. Sometimes. Like, sometimes I get so excited about certain things. Like, I don't know, maybe I'm going to see a concert or something. And I get so, so excited that my body's like, oh, shit, man. Are we, like, dying? Because your heart's, like, beating really fast.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah.

[Nono]

And I basically have to be like, no, we're not dying, but this is really exciting. I think what we're feeling is excitement.

[Host (Gecko)]

Mm.

[Nono]

And I guess my therapist is like, well, it helps to, like, name those emotions first. By, like. I. I guess it's like, kind of an ongoing process of, like, how do you feel in your body right now? Like, what sensation is this emotion giving your body? And then, like, you can kind of go from there, I think. Mm. I just started talking to them again recently, so I think right now my therapist is, like, trying to get to, like, the root of all my anxiety.

[Host (Gecko)]

Well, I hope that. I hope that this is a good test for you, I suppose, being alone for that long with your thoughts, trying to. Trying to make them a better place to exist.

[Nono]

Yeah. And, like, I don't know, sometimes I'm like, man, being in a corporeal body sucks so much. Like, I have to feel all these things. I have to, like, digest food and poop and, like, sleep. But then my partner's like, well, if you didn't have a human body, you wouldn't be able to, like, eat delicious cookies and, like, take warm naps next to the radiator I don't know.

[Host (Gecko)]

Yeah, I mean, I guess anxiety. You can also cure anxiety by, you know, jerking off and eating a lot, but that's. That doesn't really cure anxiety. That mainly just pushes it away for that. Yeah. I don't know if it gets rid of it. Exactly.

[Nono]

I'm not super, like. I don't know. I feel like eating is like. It's not that I don't want to eat, but it's like the sensation of eating is kind of gross to me sometimes.

[Yu]

Mm.

[Nono]

I don't know. Like. Like just physical bodily sensations are just so uncomfortable sometimes.

[Host (Gecko)]

What did you say your name was again?

[Nono]

It's. No.

[Yu]

No.

[Host (Gecko)]

No. No. Is that your real name?

[Nono]

No, that's what everyone calls me.

[Host (Gecko)]

Why does everyone call you no? No.

[Nono]

Because it's easier to pronounce than my first name.

[Host (Gecko)]

Is your first name Nopate Bodenga Bose?

[Nono]

Sure.

[Host (Gecko)]

Beautiful. No.

[Nono]

No.

[Host (Gecko)]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Nono]

I guess there's like. I'm sure everyone on here loves the Internet and loves the free Internet and likes to be able to watch cat videos and porn without your government ID being tied to it. So if you care about that, go to bad internetbills.com.

[Host (Gecko)]

Cool. Okay.

[Nono]

Yeah. And live your life. Eat good food and sleep well.

[Host (Gecko)]

Rock and roll. Thank you very much. No, no.

[Nono]

Thanks for talking to me. Kick.

[Host (Gecko)]

Have a good. Have a good Ferris Bueller's Day off.

[Nono]

Thanks. I hope you have a great day.

[Host (Gecko)]

Bye, Nana.

[Nono]

See ya.

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[Nono]

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[Host (Gecko)]

Hey, what's up? I'm Savage Mike.

[Nono]

I go live every day on TikTok.

[Host (Gecko)]

And try my best to put a.

[Nono]

Smile on someone's face.

[Host (Gecko)]

Shout out to my community, the Savage Squad.

[Nono]

Making every stream so much fun. Come be a part of the rise.

[Host (Gecko)]

Follow me at yoyosavagemike and come hang.

[Nono]

Out in the live. Let's have a good time. Get in on the action. Search Life Fest 2025 on TikTok and back your favorite creators.

[Podcast Announcer]

Let's celebrate Live together. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.