Therapy Gecko Podcast Summary

Episode: “I CAN’T TRUST MY BABY MAMA”
Date: February 1, 2026
Host: Therapy Gecko (Lyle)
Podcast: Therapy Gecko, iHeartPodcasts

Overview

In this episode, Therapy Gecko takes two deeply personal calls: one from “Sweet James,” a young father working through the pain of betrayal and troubled co-parenting, and another from “Jeremiah” (a pseudonym), who is navigating sex addiction recovery. The episode is characterized by frankness, vulnerability, and messy real-life issues, all handled with the curious, humorous, and empathetic style that defines Therapy Gecko. Lyle guides both callers through their pain and frustrations, validating their feelings and encouraging honest reflection—always tempered with gecko humor and real talk.

Key Discussions & Insights

1. Sweet James: Co-parenting, Betrayal, Breaking Cycles

[02:06 – 39:00]

A. Personal Backstory & Pain

• Betrayal and Downfall:

  • Sweet James shares how his “baby mama” cheated on him while they were still living together.
  • He spiraled into depression and alcoholism, resulting in a DUI and a night in jail—on his mother’s birthday.
  • "I got depressed. I became an alcoholic just to drown my demons. That led to a DUI, and that was like, my wake up in jail, man." (05:17, Sweet James)

• Recovery and Current Status:

  • He’s in a better place: working a good job, supported by family, and actively co-parenting his son.

B. Co-Parenting Challenges

• Custody and Structure:

  • 50/50 custody: James has his son Thursday-Sunday, the mother Sunday-Thursday.
  • He pays child support (partly so his son can get Medicaid).
  • "We would definitely get along more as parents than a couple." (09:08, Sweet James)

• Deep Concern:

  • Mother frequently moves in with new boyfriends, brings their son into new men’s homes after short relationships (3-4 months).
  • “She relies on guys financially... and she brings my kid. And that kind of bothers me.” (09:20, Sweet James)
  • Fears this instability will subject his son to the cycles of trauma that shaped the mother’s own childhood.

• Specific Incident:

  • Relates a story of a particularly volatile boyfriend, whose aggressive outburst scared Sweet James while he was holding his son.
  • “I'm holding my kid and you trying to fight me... Like, you can't be bringing these kind of dudes around him.” (15:15, Sweet James)

C. Gecko’s Take & Guidance

• Limits of Control:

  • Lyle points out that Sweet James is, in reality, limited in what he can do outside of his custody time unless there is actual legal neglect or abuse.
  • “You have to... surrender to that... all you can really do is play defense... being the best dad you can be to your kid.” (13:34, Lyle)

• Don’t Demonize the Mom:

  • Warns against pitting the child against his mother or trash-talking her, as that ultimately breeds confusion and pain.
  • “Don’t fucking do that. That’s just going to take all your mental energy—just focus on being the best version of yourself and being the best fucking dad.” (14:14, Lyle)

• On Broken Families:

  • Lyle, drawing on his own experience as a child of divorce, reassures James:
    • “You’re this fucking kid’s dad... My dad feels like my dad. My mom feels like my mom, because they were there in my life. So... don’t spiral into thinking that the family is gone. You’re a good dad. That’s not going away.” (24:38, Lyle)

• Dating & Cynicism:

  • Sweet James talks about the difficulty and cynicism surrounding dating, noting a lack of reciprocation and meaningful relationships.
  • Lyle advises against forming negative schemas:
    • “What you believe about yourself and the world and women and men... is what you find. If you go in thinking, ‘all food is diarrhea,’ then you just eat diarrhea until you die.” (33:23, Lyle)
    • Memorable/Comic Analogy: Eating ‘diarrhea’ in dating with optimism—don’t let negative experiences define the outlook for the future.

D. Notable Quotes & Wisdom

• “Your kid’s going to see it himself... I’m just chilling, doing my thing. I’m not bringing any woman around him. So he’s gonna see it himself.” (22:53, Sweet James)
• “Your rage makes perfect sense and you’re a sweet kid for wanting to protect your mom. But... just transmit it into being with your mom, dude—just spend time with her.” (76:50, Lyle, reading a listener email, overlapping themes)
• Sweet James’ advice to listeners: “Don’t forget to wipe your ass and wash your hands, because a lot of people wipe their ass and then wash their hands.” (37:20, Sweet James)

2. Jeremiah: Sex Addiction, Secrets, and Recovery

[41:48 – 61:26]

A. Discovery and Entering Recovery

• Self-Admission Under Duress:

  • Jeremiah attends Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings after his girlfriend discovers his cheating and online sexual activity (“DMing people behind her back”).
  • “I am completely powerless over this addiction.” (46:19, Jeremiah)
  • He had always suspected he was a sex addict, and being caught forced him to take recovery seriously.

• Behavioral Patterns:

  • Chronic use of porn, reaching out to people for sexting, OnlyFans, some sex workers he knew personally—all while in relationships as well as single.
  • "A lot of it’s porn. A lot of it is reaching out to people... sliding into DMs, trying to initiate some sort of sexting." (53:33, Jeremiah)

• Hidden Life and Lying:

  • Habitually lied to his girlfriend and himself even during early recovery, hiding relapses and deleting evidence.
  • “I wasn’t fully honest with myself or with her. Problems just kept getting worse and worse.” (56:43, Jeremiah)

B. The SAA Experience

• Meetings as Relief & Revelation:

  • First meeting provoked honest tears—hearing others share broke the loneliness of his experience.
  • “It made me feel like I could be honest maybe with myself and with her more, because there’s people struggling with this more than anybody realizes.” (57:53, Jeremiah)
  • He is now working to secure a sponsor and work the 12 steps, wanting eventually to improve his life and be “in service of others.”

• Relationship Recovery:

  • His girlfriend stayed, something Jeremiah still marvels at. Despite ups and downs, he’s committed to recovery for himself, not only his relationship.

C. Insights and Host’s Guidance

• Addiction as Isolation:

  • Lyle notes that addictions are often carried alone, and SAA’s value is in breaking that isolation and realizing one’s problems aren’t unique.

• No Clean Solutions:

  • There’s no magic fix; the journey is ongoing, involving setbacks and conscious effort.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Addiction and Isolation

  • “No matter who you are, none of your problems are unique. Which is good.” (59:54, Lyle)

• On Accepting Circumstances

  • “When your kid’s not with you, you can’t protect him. That’s kind of part of parenthood at some degree... your kid is their own person.” (18:30, Lyle)

• On Optimism Amidst Setbacks (Dating Analogy)

  • “You just have to keep eating it… While your cheeks are like Edd, Edd n Eddy with the jawbreakers, with diarrhea, and you have to just keep believing that something good is going to happen.” (31:36, Lyle)

• On Family:

  • “The family’s not broken up… you’re a good dad. That’s not going away.” (24:38, Lyle)

• Comic Relief:

  • Sweet James’ advice: “Don’t forget to wipe your ass and wash your hands.”
  • Gecko launching into a philosophical (and comedic) debate on whether one must always wash hands after using the bathroom, considering “dookie particles in the air.” (38:06 onwards)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:06] – Start of Sweet James’ Call
• [05:17] – Story of Betrayal and DUI
• [09:20] – Co-Parenting Issues, New Boyfriends
• [13:34] – Lyle’s Guidance on Control Limits
• [15:15] – Bad Boyfriend Incident
• [22:53] – On Son Learning Through Experience
• [24:38] – Lyle’s Reassurance on Family
• [27:20] – Challenges of Dating Again
• [31:36] – Optimism Amid Diarrhea Dating Analogy
• [37:20] – “Don’t forget to wipe your ass” (comic moment)
• [41:48] – Start of Jeremiah’s Call
• [46:19] – Admission of Sex Addiction
• [53:33] – Forms Sex Addiction Takes
• [57:53] – Impact of SAA Meetings
• [59:54] – Host on Shared Pain, Breaking Isolation

Tone and Style

The episode maintains Therapy Gecko’s signature blend of humor, empathy, honesty, and the absurd. While both calls are raw and vulnerable, Lyle steers the conversations with non-judgmental listening, the occasional joke, and practical wisdom grounded in his own experiences.

Conclusion

This episode dives deeply into two men’s battles with cycles of pain, addiction, and family instability. Lyle reassures them both: there are limits to what we can control, victims of trauma carry burdens they can’t always fix, and the healthiest response is often to focus on being present, open, and intentional in what one can control. Throughout, the podcast retains a lively, authentic, and sometimes irreverent energy—reminding listeners that even in life’s messiest moments, connection and perspective are possible, even if you’re a gecko.

Notable Closing Quote:
“Be a good fucking dad. Don’t beat yourself up. And don’t lose sleep at night.” (36:54, Lyle)