Therapy Gecko – “I DON’T BELIEVE IN REALITY” (Nov 5, 2025)

Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, Gek (Lyle, the Therapy Gecko) has an extended, in-depth conversation with Kevin, a 40-year-old from Quebec, who is navigating burnout, existential anxiety, queer identity, and profound disconnection from reality after cutting ties with his family. The call explores themes of purpose, capitalist society, the pain and liberation of existential questioning, and rebuilding support systems. The episode then pivots to a lighter (though still honest and vulnerable) chat with Vanessa, who confesses her secret booger habits. The tone oscillates between philosophical introspection, dark humor, and the radically accepting vibe that defines Therapy Gecko.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Kevin’s Story: Burnout, Existential Crisis, and Reality Doubt

Burnout & the Turn to Art

• Kevin shares that he started painting after experiencing severe burnout from a high-earning, high-pressure tech job. It was recommended by a psychiatrist during his mental health journey. (03:03–05:36)
• Initially, he saw painting and living artistically as “classless” and “pretentious,” a perspective he later challenged by immersing himself in the medium.

The Existential Split

• After achieving the expected adult “escalator” milestones (career, relationship, house, car, etc.), Kevin began to feel emptiness and asked himself the “real questions.”
• “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing on this earth, man, or whatever this is. Like, I don’t believe in reality right now…” (07:28, Kevin)
• Kevin feels reality is “scripted, obvious, easy to read” and questions why others go through the motions without resistance.

Societal Frustration & Alienation

• Expresses deep skepticism of capitalism: “Money is fake... we are proving decades after decades... it’s not helping everyone. Only the one.” (09:29, Kevin)
• Struggles with the sense that widespread dissatisfaction with the status quo results in little meaningful change, increasing his disconnection.

Family Estrangement & Identity

• Kevin lost his family support system two years ago after coming out as queer to parents and siblings who were unaccepting. (14:16–18:05)
• He reflects on generational trauma, parental education, and immigration background fueling family conflict.

The Search for Connection and Meaning

• Discusses the importance of love (romantic and otherwise) as a force that restores meaning and grounds him in reality. (24:23–24:49)
• Speaks about loneliness, forming new friendships, and the labor of constructing a support network as an adult.

Gek’s Reflections and Empathy

Gek normalizes and affirms Kevin’s existential vertigo:

• “You’re questioning reality, right? Because you’re getting disconnected from it, because you’re losing the things that connect you with reality. You get connected with reality... by connecting with other people. It’s the thing that will connect you to reality deeper than fucking anything.” (19:08, Gek)
• Observes that these crises, though terrifying, are universal and recurring in human history, but particularly intense now.

Recovery & Small Anchors

• Gek talks about grounding himself in “the normalcy” of life—bananas and kale shakes as a symbol of reconnecting with reality. (34:57–37:05)
• Encourages Kevin not to try to “solve all of the world’s problems,” but instead to “dive really, really deeply into that which is within you.” (29:14–30:01)

Kevin’s Social Rebuilding

• Kevin describes finding acceptance and real communication in a BDSM Discord community, appreciating the directness and clarity around consent, as well as the broader acceptance of neurodiversity. (44:52–50:13)
• Rebuilding a support system is a slow, difficult process; intimacy and similarity are hard to find later in life, especially with accumulated “baggage.”

Reflections on Love, Baggage & Aging

• Kevin acknowledges the challenges of love and romance after so much personal evolution. He was previously married in his 30s, and his “relationship escalator” ultimately didn’t satisfy his evolving self. (53:43–56:07)
• Fears becoming set in his ways and closing off to new experiences.
• Gek suggests that “whatever I believe is probably right,” and encourages staying open to novelty and growth. (60:44–62:04)

Closing Thoughts & Advice

• “If you’re gonna do something, do it all the way. Because you’ll never be happy if you haven’t. You’re always gonna be stressed about it.” (63:06, Kevin’s final word)
• Kevin thanks Gek for connection and acceptance; Gek reaffirms the value of helping to ground others.

[Notable Quotes & Moments]

• “I don’t believe in reality right now, as we’re talking.” (07:34, Kevin)
• “You get connected with reality by connecting with other people... if that gets cut off and then you’re alone with your thoughts... it’s like you’re in fucking outer space and the tether has been cut.” (19:08, Gek)
• “I believe that whatever you think about your own reality... becomes true.” (61:32, Gek)
• “So, if you’re gonna do something, do it all the way.” (63:06, Kevin)
• Bananas and yogurt as anchors of normalcy: “I just looked at these bananas and I was like, oh, I like this a lot. This is... being in reality.” (36:14, Gek)
• On community: “The freaks are so good at communicating... it’s just normal... the consent is not just about being normal. It’s also like, I like it... we can be so... we can have good sex, actually.” (46:49, Kevin)

[Timestamps for Key Sections]

• 02:48 – Kevin introduced, begins sharing his background
• 03:32–05:36 – Painting, burnout, mental health story
• 07:12–08:38 – Existential questions & disbelief in reality
• 09:29–10:06 – Rant against capitalism, game theory
• 14:16–18:05 – Family estrangement, coming out, trauma
• 19:08–23:50 – Gek’s reflections on existential crisis, connection, love as grounding force, universality of crisis
• 24:23 – What is love? (Romantic vs. omnipotent)
• 34:57–37:05 – Bananas and grounding in daily routine
• 44:52–50:13 – Kevin’s experience with BDSM/Discord community, consent, support system
• 53:43–57:06 – Marriage history, “relationship escalator,” dating after divorce
• 60:44–62:04 – “Whatever you think about your own reality... becomes true.”
• 63:06 – Kevin’s closing advice: “Go all in”

Vanessa’s Call: Booger Confessions & Social Norms

Overview

• Vanessa, 22, confesses to the secret habit of picking her nose and wiping boogers in various places—her car, her wall, public spaces—when she’s without tissues. (69:33–81:38)
• She wonders if it’s “crazy,” since she knows it’s gross but can’t stand having a dry nose.
• Gek relates, admits to having done the same and then presents his nihilist perspective: “Just eat it; it’s recycling. It’s more punk rock than wiping it everywhere!” (72:01–75:33)
• The conversation is humorous, irreverent, but nonjudgmental, ending with mutual acknowledgment of human grossness and acceptance.

Notable Quotes

• “I used to do that too. But the thing is... the boogers, they don’t go away, man... That’s why you gotta eat them.” (71:58, Gek)
• “It’s pretty gross. I’m doing that?” (76:12, Vanessa)
• “Keep doing whatever the hell you want with your boogers. It’s none of my business.” (81:29, Gek)

Key Timestamps

• 69:33–70:55 – Vanessa shares her secret habit
• 71:58–75:33 – Gek’s defense of booger-eating, nihilism, and social rebellion

Closing Reflections

• Gek celebrates “the normalcy” of reality as a defense and antidote to existential freefall—sometimes, daily routines (bananas, yogurt) are as important as philosophy in re-grounding life.
• Through both calls, the episode underscores Therapy Gecko’s ethos: radical honesty, deep non-judgment, and acceptance—whether the struggle is cosmic or mundane.

Summary Table

| Segment | Key Points | Timestamp | |-----------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | Kevin’s Burnout | Art as therapy, burnout from tech job, skepticism toward painting’s social class | 03:03–05:36 | | Questioning Reality | Doesn’t believe in reality, finds life predictable & scripted | 07:28–12:54 | | Societal Disillusion | Capitalism critique, frustration with change | 09:29–10:06 | | Family Estrangement | Queer identity, family cut-off, trauma history | 14:16–18:05 | | Love & Connection | Romantic/omnipotent love as grounding, recovery from existential crisis | 24:23–24:49 | | Community Rebuilding | BDSM Discord, consent culture, challenges making new friends | 44:52–50:13 | | Aging & Baggage | Difficulty forming close relationships as older adult with baggage, previous marriage | 53:43–57:06 | | Reality Anchors | Bananas & yogurt as stabilizers, humor in normalcy | 34:57–37:05 | | Vanessa’s Boogers | Booger confession, debate on eating vs. wiping, humorous nihilism | 69:33–81:38 |

End of Summary