“I FELT LIKE GOD”

Summary

Therapy Gecko Podcast: Episode Summary Episode Title: “I FELT LIKE GOD”
Release Date: July 23, 2025
Host: Lyle (an unlicensed lizard psychologist)
Platform: iHeartPodcasts

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Introduction

In the episode titled “I FELT LIKE GOD,” host Lyle engages in a deep and introspective conversation with Mason, a long-time listener who recently experienced a significant mental health episode. This episode delves into themes of mental health, self-discovery, familial relationships, and personal growth.

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Listener Call-In: Mason’s Story (02:08 - 22:18)

Mason begins by sharing his journey, describing a recent diagnosis of acute mania that led to a temporary "God complex." He recounts the intense period of hyperactivity and the subsequent steps he has taken to regain stability.

Key Points:

• Diagnosis and Symptoms: Mason explains that on June 22nd, he was diagnosed with acute mania, experiencing heightened states of consciousness and a sense of grandeur.
• ER Visits: He visited the ER three times in one week due to his manic state, which he attributes partly to excessive marijuana use.
• Psychiatric Support: While his parents suspect bipolar disorder, his psychiatrist disagrees, emphasizing that Mason was lucid and aware during his episodes.
• Medication: Mason was hesitant about medication but was medicated under his parents' insistence. However, he experienced adverse effects leading to discontinuation.
• Living Situation: At 21, Mason still lives with his parents, feeling both the support and the overbearing nature of their unconditional love.

Notable Quote:

“I'm trying to take my own words, you know, I'm trying to live better. I'm trying to... I don't know, I got to get a handle on my brain.”
— Mason (05:52)

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Navigating Masculinity and Independence (22:19 - 31:38)

The conversation shifts to Mason's struggle with societal expectations of masculinity and his quest for independence. He expresses frustration over feeling coddled and the pressure to conform to traditional roles.

Key Points:

• Masculinity: Mason discusses how his recent experiences have reaffirmed his identity as a man, yet he feels misunderstood by his parents who view him as lesser due to his struggles.
• Addictions and Recovery: He acknowledges past dependencies on porn, marijuana, and his phone, and his efforts to overcome them by returning to the gym and seeking creative outlets.
• Creative Pursuits: Mason highlights his passion for special effects and 3D modeling, emphasizing his desire to break free from the monotony of his long-term job.
• Cryptocurrency Investment: He mentions investing heavily in cryptocurrency, resulting in significant gains, though he recognizes the risks involved.

Notable Quote:

“I've had the same job for seven years. I'm only 21. I started when I was 14, and I thought this would be my life's calling... But I'm slowly coming to terms with that.”
— Mason (08:27)

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Philosophical Exploration: The Matrix and Solipsism (31:38 - 39:38)

Lyle introduces philosophical concepts to provide Mason with frameworks to understand his experiences. They explore ideas like solipsism and the metaphor of the Matrix to discuss consciousness and reality.

Key Points:

• Solipsism: Lyle explains solipsism as the belief that only one's consciousness is verifiable, leading to perceptions of being the universe itself.
• The Matrix Analogy: They discuss living within societal constructs ("the Matrix") while exploring spiritual awakenings outside of it.
• Balancing Act: Emphasis is placed on maintaining a balance between personal growth and staying grounded in everyday life to prevent losing touch with reality.

Notable Quote:

“I'm trying to see how I can apply this in my real life to, to kind of, break free from the rat race, I guess.”
— Mason (34:05)

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Parental Relationships and Empathy (39:38 - 55:55)

The dialogue delves into Mason's relationship with his parents, highlighting the challenges of seeking independence while maintaining familial bonds. Lyle provides guidance on cultivating empathy and understanding within these dynamics.

Key Points:

• Unconditional Love vs. Overbearing Nature: Mason appreciates his parents' love but feels constrained by their over-involvement.
• Conflict Resolution: They discuss the importance of active listening and emotional regulation to improve interactions with parents.
• Empathy: Lyle advises Mason to empathize with his parents' perspectives to navigate their relationships more effectively.
• Personal Growth: Mason acknowledges the need to evolve and find his own path, separate from his parents' expectations.

Notable Quote:

“I'm trying to finally become the best version of myself... trying to keep an open mind and kind of check my emotions at the door.”
— Mason (56:11)

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Final Thoughts and Advice (55:55 - 86:14)

As the episode progresses, Mason and Lyle discuss various personal and societal topics, including ambition, the state of modern relationships, and the impact of technology on self-expression. The conversation wraps up with positive affirmations and encouragement for listeners.

Key Points:

• Ambition and Adventure: Mason expresses a desire to explore the world beyond his current circumstances, considering opportunities like working on cruise lines to achieve financial freedom.
• Community and Connection: Both speakers emphasize the importance of building meaningful connections and engaging with communities that resonate with one's values.
• Mental Health Strategies: Mason shares his approach to managing depression by identifying and addressing underlying issues rather than forcing himself to engage when he's not ready.
• Encouragement: Lyle and Mason offer words of support to listeners dealing with similar struggles, advocating for self-improvement and resilience.

Notable Quotes:

Lyle: “Don't let yourself go too crazy and try to let people help you if they feel like. Mason, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?”
— Lyle (49:49)

Mason: “Go outside. Don't be afraid of making eye contact with people... We all got to start talking to each other more.”
— Cora (85:50)

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Bonus Content and Closing (86:14 - End)

The episode concludes with Lyle inviting listeners to explore bonus content available through premium membership and sharing updates about future projects, including a travelogue documentary based on a previous caller's story.

Key Points:

• Geck Mail: Lyle reads and responds to listener emails, providing personal anecdotes and advice.
• Future Projects: Announcement of a travelogue documentary following up on a past caller’s story in Tijuana.
• Promotion: Information about premium membership benefits, including ad-free episodes and exclusive content.

Notable Quote:

Lyle: “Rock and roll.”
— Lyle (87:17)

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Conclusion

“I FELT LIKE GOD” is a profound episode that navigates the complexities of mental health, self-identity, and the quest for personal freedom. Through Mason’s candid storytelling and Lyle’s empathetic guidance, listeners are offered both reflection and actionable insights into overcoming personal challenges and fostering meaningful relationships.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

1. Mason (05:52):
   “I'm trying to take my own words, you know, I'm trying to live better. I'm trying to... I don't know, I got to get a handle on my brain.”

2. Mason (08:27):
   “I've had the same job for seven years. I'm only 21. I started when I was 14, and I thought this would be my life's calling... But I'm slowly coming to terms with that.”

3. Mason (34:05):
   “I'm trying to see how I can apply this in my real life to, to kind of, break free from the rat race, I guess.”

4. Mason (56:11):
   “I'm trying to finally become the best version of myself... trying to keep an open mind and kind of check my emotions at the door.”

5. Cora (85:50):
   “Go outside. Don't be afraid of making eye contact with people... We all got to start talking to each other more.”

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Listener Interaction Highlights:

• Valentin (02:08): Discusses guilt and moral dilemmas post-confession.
• Jeremy (03:10): Shares an awkward and humorous experience of unexpected intimacy.
• Elise (05:52): Celebrates a successful relationship and encourages others to persevere in dating.

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Key Takeaways:

• Mental Health Awareness: Understanding and seeking help for mental health issues is crucial.
• Self-Discovery: Embracing personal growth and creative passions can lead to a more fulfilling life.
• Empathy in Relationships: Cultivating empathy towards family members can improve strained relationships.
• Balancing Independence and Support: Finding a balance between personal independence and familial support is essential for emotional well-being.
• Community and Connection: Building and maintaining meaningful connections contribute significantly to one's mental and emotional health.

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This episode serves as a valuable resource for individuals navigating similar challenges, offering both empathy and practical advice through authentic dialogue.

Transcript

[Lyle]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Lyle]

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[Lyle]

Speed slower after 35 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com hello. Hey, what's your name?

[Mason]

My name is Mason.

[Lyle]

Mason, what's up Mason?

[Mason]

Yes sir. Nothing much man. I'm a long time listener. First time caller found found your stream 2022 I remember. I remember exactly where I found the stream, but it's not what I'm calling calling to talk to you about.

[Lyle]

Wait, but I'm kind of curious if. Because if you remember something exactly, it must be interesting. Tell me more.

[Mason]

So I I Work. I work at a theme park and I was doing haunt repair work in one of our haunts and I saw you on Instagram a couple times and, and then I finally tuned into the podcast and I, I listened to your podcasts every day for like eight hours, my entire work day for, for about a week. And I'm, I'm all caught up on all previous episodes you posted since then, which is. I'm really married to the game.

[Lyle]

Yeah, no, no, that's really crazy to me. That's, that's. I mean, that's a significant. How many episodes of this thing are there?

[Mason]

Like three too many, bro. Yes.

[Lyle]

I don't even know. But that's. You've been. I mean, that's a significant amount of. That's probably a significant amount of the words that I have said in the past five years of my life. Right? I mean, think. I'm thinking about it, right? Like, if you like in a 24 hour day, what percentage of the words. Let's say, okay, in a week, right? I put out two of these podcasts a week. In one week, what percentage of the words that I say are recorded and put online as a podcast? I hope it's not a large percentage. I hope I'm socializing enough that. It's not a large percentage, but it's a percentage. It's a. You've heard a large percentage of the recorded words that I have or I not. I'm a recorder. You've heard a large percentage of the, the total words that I have spoken aloud in the last five years. I hope that's absolutely. That would mean. That would mean, that would mean that, that I've just been silent and thinking. You know what I mean?

[Mason]

Well, I live vicariously through your words and I really, I really love the issues that, that you talk about on your podcast with your, with the viewers and the callers. I mean, I really, I really kind of take your therapy for, for gospel in a way, but I mean, just, just living, living through other people's world experiences is enough for me to tune into the podcast every day, so.

[Lyle]

Good. I hope so. I hope that that's here because I, I don't. I, I hope, I hope you're not taking anything I say is gospel.

[Mason]

I hope.

[Lyle]

You know, here's what I'll say this, here's what I hope you're not taking anything I say as gospel because. But if I think, if I'm, I think if the point of this or if one of the points of this is that people are Gathering perspectives on the world based on other people's lived experience. If I, if my own lived experience is chucked in there, I don't mind, but you probably shouldn't take anything I say is. I try not to take anything I say is gospel, or at least.

[Mason]

No, dude, it's the best, man.

[Lyle]

Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I'm trying to take my own words, you know, I'm trying to. Trying to live better. I'm trying to. I don't know, I got to get a handle on my brain. But we're going to, dude, we're all.

[Mason]

Trying to be the best version of ourselves, man. And that's, that's kind of what I'm calling to talk about is.

[Lyle]

Please hit me.

[Mason]

Let's talk about you finally. I'm trying to finally become the best version of myself. Okay, so. So June 22nd. So that's exactly a month ago from today. I had, I had a stint of what. What I was diagnosed with was acute mania. So I kind of. I kind of had this God complex. Everything felt larger than life. I. I had hyperactivity in my brain. So the past four, I guess the past month, I've been actively coming down from that and it was a very eye opening experience for me. It kind of changed the way I think and changed my entire worldview. So I'm calling to see if I can get any advice from you on how to navigate this, this new, this new perspective and this new journey I'm kind of undergoing here.

[Lyle]

Well, before we launch into any kind of advice, if you want to talk about it, tell me more. What did that experience look like?

[Mason]

So since then I've been. I've been talking to a psychiatrist. My parents started to think that I was bipolar. My psychiatrist completely disagrees. But the experience looked like I. I took three visits to the er, which is more than I had ever gone in my entire life. In one week, I had three visits to the ER to kind of talk me down from this, this heightened manic state that I was in. I do think it was kind of like a weed induced psychosis. I mean, this, this is just, this is just an idiot doing research. Online AI has been a big tool for helping me navigate this. I know I shouldn't be so reliant on AI, but I mean, I'd do the same thing, right? So, I mean, it's, it's very interesting, man. They, they got. My parents insisted on medicating me. I'd never been on any form of medication before. I had direct symptoms of the Medication. So I was, I was taken off the medication. And my parents, I still live with them. I'm 21. I, I, I can't really move out in this economy.

[Lyle]

Oh.

[Mason]

But I mean.

[Lyle]

Before we do anything, before doing, I mean, 21, I, I want to hear the rest of your story, but 21 is a perfectly acceptable age to be living with your parents. So, you know, don't, but don't freak out about that. And it's also, I mean, it's a fucking, it's an amazing gift that you, your parents are still heavily involved in your life and care about you enough to be, you know, going through this with you. So I hope, you know, hope you're feeling that love.

[Mason]

Absolutely. It's, it's unconditional love, but it is almost overbearing to an extent, because I still feel like I'm trying to navigate the bounds that come with manhood and trying to find my independence as a man. I mean, I've, I've had the same job for seven years. I'm, I'm only 20. I started when I was 14, and I, I thought this would be my life's calling and I could, I could work the rat race and work the 9 to 5 job my entire life. I'm, I'm slowly coming to terms with that in this, in this new state of mind that I might go crazy if, if I, if I end up working the same job my entire life. But my parents have been trying to instill this foundation onto me that I need to work to make money. But, but watching you for the last three years has been really inspirational that, that you can find your voice online and you can find, you can find other means to make money. That's not being stuck in a nine to five job.

[Lyle]

Okay, yeah, my job. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[Mason]

I mean, my job, I, is very creative. I'm currently at work now. I'm a, I do a lot of special effects and prop making and CNC work. CNC is a wood router. I'm actually in the wood routing room right now. I got a couple projects to get done, but I thought this would be more beneficial. Way to spend my time on the clock.

[Lyle]

So you've been, so wait a minute, you're 21. You've been in the special effects industry since you were 14?

[Mason]

No, no, no. I, I started operating rides and I became a rides trainer, ride supervisor, then moved over to special effects right out of high school. And I've, I, I hadn't touched a hand drill or anything since Then a little quick backstory. I grew up in a state STEM academy from kindergarten through sixth grade. So I always had this creative aspect of me that's kind of been untapped up until now because now I can finally express my creative outlet in a way that I reap the benefits from. The park that I work at also reaped the benefits from. So I'm very savvy when it comes to like 3D modeling. We do a lot of 3D printing at our, at our work. But I mean I'm from self taught. I've used AI and YouTube to help me out with a lot of these things. But I feel like there's a passion that lives so deep within me and I'm trying to explore this, this passion. I have a lot of guest service experience, I mean essentially growing up at the theme park. So I know how to talk to people and I know how to put on a stage face. But I'm trying, I'm trying to, I'm trying to see how I can apply this in my, in my real life to, to kind of, I don't know, break free from the rat race, I guess. I mean I've, I started voice journaling so I, I do a voice journal journal on, on my phone and then I can, I can take the transcript of that voice memo, putting it, put it into AI and AI helps me complete like unformed thoughts that I, that I had mentioned in the voice journal. It helps me organize. It's basically written journaling but in utilizing modern day technology to help me explore what I want to really do with my life. Kind of back to my parents, I, I'm still living under their household. I, I have a wonderful safety net that they've, they've helped build for me. I mean I like to, I think I've been pretty coddled my entire life and don't have the real world experience that I envy for. But I, I essentially live paycheck to paycheck because I put all of my money in cryptocurrency. I know you would advise that I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket as my parents have been telling me. But I've, I put 7,000 in there. My portfolio is currently up to 50,000, so pretty exponential gains in the last year and a half. But I, Dave Ramsey would be the person I would talk about this cryptocurrency. Right.

[Lyle]

I have lots, well, I have, I have lots of thoughts. Okay. Well also, by the way, listen, I'm going to be honest with you is I'VE also, I also feel as though I've been relatively coddled for my entire life. I mean, I grew up in, you know, I grew up, you know, with a, in a house in the suburbs and my parents, you know, they pay for me to go to college and they let me live there for, you know, fucking live in the house until I was 22, 23. So I was able to save and do all this crap. And I have, I also felt like I was like, oh, crap, I'm, I have no semblance of the real world whatsoever, you know, But I also, but I'm also of the belief that like, listen, if you can use that to, I mean, don't you, I think if you can use that position to, you know, enrich your life. And there bought from enriching your life, you kind of, there's a, there's a bit of would call, I would call it trickle down enrichment when you, you know, use it to do, do, do, you know, as like a starting launching platform to do something that's worthwhile for your life. You know, I think that benefits, you know, the people around you who care about you too.

[Mason]

Absolutely.

[Lyle]

Oh, there's a bunch of other things I was going to say. Oh, crypto. I don't know, man. Don't. I don't have, I don't, I mean, I don't, I don't have any crypto. I'm not a crypto guy.

[Mason]

Oh, you're missing out, man. And utility coins. Look into ISO 2022 compliance. Try to invest in US made cryptocurrencies, something with utility, because it seems like that's where our financial system is headed. So, I mean, for the last three years I've kind of been preaching the gospel when it comes to cryptocurrency, and that's just, that's just the way the world is heading.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Well, okay. Again, a lot of things, A lot of things.

[Mason]

I, again, I could talk all day about cryptocurrency. I've done, I've done three years of research on this. Finance in high school is always what I was most passionate about.

[Lyle]

Sure. And I actually, and I, I actually, I actually, I think it's a good thing because it's true. You need money to exist. Right. And if you're lucky, unfortunately. Right, yes. You need money to exist. And if you're lucky, you can figure out a way to make it that doesn't take up too much of your time so that you can go and do the things that you actually want to do. Crypto I'm not, I don't know anything about crypto. I don't really. I don't want to talk about it only because I don't know about. But I think it's okay to. I, I also, I. When I was. Yeah, when I was 21, I had a lot of separate parts of my brain where I was like, I kind of separated my brain into like three or four categories where I was like, okay, I need to figure out something I can do to make money. And then I need to figure out something I can do to that is like makes art. And I need to figure out something I can do that gets me around people I need to focus on. And I need to make sure I get the money thing down pat because then it'll help me out with the art thing and the being around the people thing.

[Mason]

So you are genuinely thriving then because you have all of those, all of those four checkbox ticked. I got age of 27, man.

[Lyle]

It's true. I got, well, I got, you know, I got a little lucky.

[Mason]

No. You know, Covid was a huge benefactor to that dude. Yeah, I, I remember going on Reddit and, and, and seeing, seeing that you wanted to start this thing and then call this line. I mean, your story is, is very. And I mean your business model, I guess too, you could say is, is very inspirational too. I mean, just, just your everyday listener. I really enjoyed that. It was her name, Ava, that British woman you had on. I just got done listening to that.

[Lyle]

Oh yeah, great.

[Mason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was. That was a great conversation, man. And it's really cool to hear from your. I mean, I don't want to say older, but you're more, more wise audience members.

[Lyle]

No, I agree.

[Mason]

Just, just the way you break down those, those calls is, is very beneficial to me when I'm trying to experience the world vicariously through. I mean, I guess your callers. Right.

[Cora]

Because.

[Mason]

So that seems like I can, I can pick up on, on my flaws, other people's flaws, and again, kind of tying back to the beginning of the conversation being the best version of ourselves.

[Lyle]

Right. I, I appreciate that. I want to get back into your life for a second. And by the way, just so you know, I'm just. And you've heard every episode of my show, so I guess I'm, I guess I'm only. I guess I'm just saying this to myself, but obviously, you know, I'm not a real therapist and what. I'm interested. But you, you've brought up a lot of topics as We've been talking that I have personal interests in, so I'm happy to just like, chat with you about them. So you brought up a lot of things that I want to get into. I'm trying to keep a note of all of them. I'm gonna rattle off the ones I remember. You talked about masculinity, navigating that I believe. Is that correct?

[Mason]

Mm.

[Lyle]

Okay. You were talking about mania and just general mental health stuff and then talking about.

[Mason]

Yes, sir.

[Lyle]

Talking about, like, trying to find what you actually want to do with your life, your relationship with your parents. I'm down to get into all that stuff. Let's talk about the. Talk about the masculinity thing. Where you at with that? What are the thoughts with that? What's all right made you bring that up?

[Mason]

So there's a couple things that, that sparks me to say that. But my, my state of acute mania really made it clear to me that I am a man. That is, I. I'm going to quote Paul McCartney here. Maybe I'm a man that's in the middle of something that he doesn't really understand. That's from a song. Maybe I'm amazed. And I mean that, that really resonates with me because we're all just men and women and children trying to navigate this, this world for the first time and how we, how we respond to our adversities and things that, things that really bog us down and distract us from. I mean, I'm not very religious, but God's plan, I mean, I think there's a plan, there's a, there's a, A path that all of us are destined to be on. And I mean, so yeah, I, I mentioned the man because my, my parents think of me lesser as a man because of the way that I've been responding to this adversity in my life. I mean, this last four weeks has been pretty hellish for my parents because they've seen me, they've seen me in a heightened state that they're not used to. So every time I come home, my mom kind of just says she wants her son back and the son that she, she once knew as her roommate. I mean, I've been there, essential, essentially their roommate for the last three years, since I turned 18 and got my full time job out of high school.

[Lyle]

They.

[Mason]

They want that relationship back. I think of myself as lesser of a man then because I was addicted to porn, I was addicted to my phone, I was addicted to marijuana. All these, these crutches in my life that have have negatively, negatively been impacting me. Don't. I know I've breaking free from, from, from those things. I'm finally getting back in the gym. I'm finally becoming the version of myself that I want to be sure. So when I come home and my parents think I'm lesser of a man because they don't recognize this new me anymore, it's kind of disheartening.

[Lyle]

So. Okay, you don't have to get into it if you don't want to, but you, you described kind of at the beginning of this some, like, manic episode where you thought that you were God. What?

[Mason]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

What was that?

[Mason]

It was, it was, I mean, acute mania. I mean, I just have, have kind of. I've done a little bit of research, but what from. My psychiatrist has told me I had a God complex where, where I. Man, I. It's a little, it's still hard for me to process this because it was, it was riddled by insomnia. It was riddled by my excessive marijuana usage. There was a lot of, there was a lot of contributors to what led me to this state of acute mania. And I mean, it was tough, man. It was, it was a tough like, week of in and out of the er, in and out of fighting with my parents. I mean, kind of spewing off the same, same garbage that I'm telling you now.

[Lyle]

But do you, do you know what solipsism is?

[Mason]

I do not.

[Lyle]

Okay, maybe I should, maybe, maybe, maybe I shouldn't send you down this rabbit. Maybe it's not responsible to send you down this rabbit hole.

[Mason]

I'm a huge fan of rabbit holes.

[Lyle]

But I, I don't. It's probably not respon. It's probably super irresponsible to send you down this rabbit hole but the only reason why I am bringing it up is, is I guess in relation to the goddamn complex is like ellipsism. Yes, ellipses. Don't go, don't go too crazy on it. Please stay in the Matrix. Okay. The Matrix is a nice place to be, especially when you're 20. Sometimes stay in the Matrix as long as you can. I mean, I don't know.

[Mason]

Telling my parents I've escaped the Matrix for, for the last four weeks and they, they don't understand what I mean.

[Lyle]

We can, we can, we can, we can talk about that. But whatever. Solipsism is this idea that your consciousness is the. Because I've gone. I've had a. I've recently, not over the past year as I've been You've listened to my podcast. You know, I'm going through an existential crisis. As the year has been going. I've also had like a weird God complex of this. And I. Here's what I mean by that is solipsism is the idea that your own consciousness is the only verifiable thing to you. And so. I know. Yeah, well, it's the only thing that's verifiable to you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I.

[Lyle]

And so it leads you down this path of thinking, like, wait, theoretically I could be God. Not in the sense of, like, I'm, like. Not in like a, oh, I'm better than everyone else kind of a sense, but in like a, oh, I'm the only thing that can be verified. But I also have got. But also the God. The like a God complex thing manifests itself in this sense of like, sure, I'm God, but also everyone is God.

[Mason]

Because God lives in within. God lives in with all of us, man.

[Lyle]

Well, well, the idea that, like, I mean, look, I'm cre. I. I am created out of fucking, like, biological material and carbon and shit. That is, you know, part of my parents who were created out of carbon. And it just keeps going. Eventually, if we go back farther enough, we get in from, like, how I got here and how I'm able to have these thoughts and how I'm able to be conscious of myself. We start to delve into things that are beyond the known. And, you know, I'm a pro. I'm a conscious product of the universe. I am the universe, AKA God. I don't know if I believe in, like, a Christian God, but you know what I mean, like, you're. You're. You're born of.

[Mason]

It's all pretty cultish.

[Lyle]

No, it's not. Everything I'm. Everything I'm saying, like, feels very, like, empirical to me. I know I use that word too much. Everything I'm saying, like, makes sense. Like, I'm. Look, I'm created of, like, I'm a weird thing. We all are weird things. I'm a weird thing where I'm biological material, like, like created from the universe itself, and I'm also conscious and I'm experiencing the rest of the universe. That's fucking crazy to me.

[Mason]

It's a wild concept.

[Lyle]

It's a wild concept. So, like, be whatever. The whole thing of, like, I'm the universe experiencing itself, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, anyway, I'm sorry, that was a huge tangent, but that's kind of.

[Mason]

No, I love it.

[Lyle]

But also.

[Mason]

But here's why I say stream of consciousness, man. That's. That's that way ties. I mean, that's why people are so interested. And you have die hard listeners, right? I mean your stream of consciousness, when you get into talking about a subject matter that's as heavy as that, it's. It just, it resonates so well with a lot of us. Like free thinkers, I would say.

[Lyle]

I mean, I. I appreciate that, Mason. I want to keep on subject. I want to keep on you.

[Mason]

Yes, sir.

[Lyle]

Is. Okay, so you were talking about. Let me. Let me ask you this, man, because what did the psycho. When you. When you went crazy and you went to the ER and you. And you saw the psychiatrist, what did they tell you?

[Mason]

So here's the thing. I was kind of in the midst of that God complex, but I was fully lucid and conscious the whole time, so I was actively trying to resist treatment. So I mean, for the first time we went to the er everything was. Was pretty chill and dandy. These. These medical professionals. I'm air quoting right now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay.

[Lyle]

All right.

[Mason]

Well, didn't. Didn't see well. Right, right. I mean, at least. At least for me. They are medical professionals. They are able to help people who need the help. But when, when you don't feel as though you need the help in. In that state of mind. Because, I mean, I was. Because I was fully lucid and aware of my surroundings, but it was. It was more of a spiritual awakening to me than it was any form of diagnosis that were you the matrix could give me.

[Lyle]

Well, okay. I have again, I keep having thoughts about this. So were you when you say that in the, in the. In the time you were there, when you were lucid, you were not rejecting help and you were. And you called them, quote unquote, medical professionals. As I'm talking to you right now. Do you. And I'm not. In the end. Listen, listen, listen. Let me, let me finish real quick. And I'm. I'm. I'm not in the business of. Maybe I am. I. But I was going to say I. What? Fuck it. Do you do believe that those people.

[Mason]

I had these. Right. I did think they could help me, but when I spend four hours of my life not seeking active help because my parents think I desperately need. Seemed like wasted time every time we went in there. The only time they were really of service to me is when I was having direct symptoms of my medication. So. So I would. I would go in there because my parents think I'm manic, which. Yeah, you could from an Outsider's perspective. You could definitely say I was manic, but. But I would rather be at home like. Like going down rabbit holes or watching YouTube or jerking off. Like, I mean, doing something that's productive to me in my life. Because when I. When I was sitting in that hospital room, multiple hospital rooms for an extended period of time, waiting for the medical professionals to come in and. And try to diagnose what I'm. What I'm undergoing, they weren't of any service to me. And it really just left myself and my parents with more questions about what I was going through.

[Lyle]

I want to. I just want to clarify. I want to clarify something. Are you talking right now from the perspective of you at the time, or this is how you feel right now?

[Mason]

Me at the. Me at the time. This is. This is me at the time. This is me able. Four weeks. Able to reflect on that time spent. Because, I mean, it's. It's exactly a month to the date I've been trying to call the last couple times. I thought you would find my story interesting.

[Cora]

But.

[Mason]

Yeah, dude, I mean, it's. It's just a lot for me to process one as a man, but also trying to find independence and trying to break free from. From the. The societal construct that my parents have laid before me.

[Lyle]

What is this?

[Mason]

Earlier.

[Lyle]

The societal construct that. What is the societal construct that I.

[Mason]

That I need. That I need. That I need to find a. A job that will make me money. But during my awakening, I realized that this was not the job for me.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Mason]

And, I mean, and I feel like I'm actively, like, I feel like a caged bird right now who wants to spread his wings and fly, but I'm trying to find what I'm deeply, truly passionate about to kind of help me. But, I mean, I'm 21, and the world's my oyster, right?

[Lyle]

So, I mean, absolutely.

[Mason]

I probably won't find that right now, but that's. I've kind of been banking on cryptocurrency too much to help. Help me find this financial freedom so I can take, like, a gap year in my. In my working history to find what. What. What really. What really resonates with me for the. Since COVID I've kind of had dreams of being a. No. And living in a van down by the river, as Chris Farley would say. Or, I mean, taking a sailboat and going and sailing from Seattle down to Hawaii. I mean, like. Like, so very ambitious goals like that.

[Lyle]

Yeah, actually, I was. Yeah, I was like, I think 20, 21. When I first was like, oh, I want to do. Yeah. When I was also. I was also at that age, I was thinking a lot about nomad adventures and those things.

[Mason]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Have you. Well, but, but also, but also, have you ever done anything like that?

[Mason]

No, sir.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Mason]

I mean, other than. Other than backpacking, camping trips, really trying to get in tune with the. Really just touching grass. I mean, other than that, no, because I haven't had the funds or means to do.

[Lyle]

So you're up, what, 50 grand in crypto?

[Mason]

Yes, sir.

[Lyle]

Okay. Have you ever been out of the country?

[Mason]

Yes. Yeah. My. My parents were very fortunate enough to take my brother and I exploring around the world.

[Lyle]

Great.

[Mason]

Last year, the year before, we went and saw the, the Mayan ruins down in Chichen Itza.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Mason]

We had a, we had a. We had a tour guide there that really opened up my mind. And I mean, the, the sun gods and how the Mayans created our. Our calendar year. 52 seasons in a year, 7 days a week was all. Be. They all. They read that from the sun. And I mean, I think in a lot of ways society is more advanced. Society was more advanced back then than it is now just because we have smartphones. I mean, I'm an old soul that would really like to unplug from. From the Matrix, if you will. I mean, because nomadic lifestyle just seems like how our ancestors intended for us.

[Lyle]

Let me tell you this, and this is there's no correct philosophy on how to live. I don't believe. And also, I don't. I. You and I might have different interpretations for what the quote unquote matrix is. My personal interpretation of what the Matrix is, is like you have kind of like where your brain is at when you're in some form of a spiritual awakening and you're seeing beyond the day, the day to day, right? And, and the day to day and living in a society and stopping at stop signs and waiting in line at the CVS and talking to someone in a hallway and being on the computer and, you know, talking to your mom on the phone and saying hi to somebody who walks past you down the street like that, like, that's the Matrix or whatever, right? And, or like, you know, you're waiting in line at a sandwich shop and you're like, why is this line not going? Or whatever. You know, you're. That's. That's. I get like the Matrix that's like every day. And then like beyond that is where you're like, oh, what the fuck? I'm the universe experiencing itself. And what about. Right. And my personal philosophy is, you want to. Is if you.

[Cora]

This is.

[Lyle]

I was actually just talking to one of my friends about this and she disagreed. She wanted to live fully outside the Matrix, but this is how I think about these things.

[Mason]

We can live fully outside the Matrix. We still need to be firmly planted in reality.

[Lyle]

Okay. That's how. That's what I was going to. That's what I was gonna say is I enjoy life the most when I'm one foot inside. Always. You gotta keep. You gotta keep. Especially if you're at the point where, you know, you're. You're going through psychosis and you're going to the ER and you're. You're really scaring the people around you. You want to keep. It's. I think it's good to explore that which is beyond the Matrix. But you know what's funny, you know what's interesting and is that we you explore all these things outside of the Matrix, but then the real spirituality is kind of found within the Matrix a little bit.

[Mason]

Right, right.

[Lyle]

It's kind of within the Matrix. You know, it's found in very.

[Mason]

Sure.

[Lyle]

Small things. I mean, you know, when you're. Whatever. Let's say you work at a fucking office and you are at the. You're getting a snack from the fridge and your coworker is talking to you. Some thing they did over the weekend and you're talking to them like, that's very matrixy. But that's also. But also. But also being in the moment of that conversation has deep spiritual value. You know, so. So go. So it's fun to explore yourself beyond the Matrix and whatnot. But you got. You bring it back and you bring it back and you use it to. Because you also. You also don't live there. Your. Your physical body and brain, you live in. You live in society. You can go off into the woods and remove yourself, but you. I don't know if you're gonna have such a great time. You know, it's good to live in society. So you, you know, go off and have your spiritual awakenings and whatever, do your fucking ayahuasca. And I mean, maybe don't do ayahuasca, but go and do the. Do those things but. But bring it, Bring it back so that when you're, whatever, talking to your son one day about some bullshit, it's like you can navigate the thing. You act. You can. You can use it to better navigate the thing you actually live in. Does that make any sense to you or am I On a.

[Mason]

No, it totally. It totally does, dude.

[Lyle]

Okay, because you. Because you. If you, because you. You realize a lot of things that are matrixy, you really have to make money to survive.

[Mason]

Absolutely.

[Lyle]

You. You want a career or a power to pursue a passion of some kind that requires you to exist within your ego and your identity. Right? So the things you want are all Matrixy. But that's good. If you live too far outside of the Matrix, you'll get. I don't know. I don't know what your brain is like. I only have the experience of my brain. And when my brain goes too far outside of the Matrix, I get lost. I just get lost. I'm honored to, you know, think about that. But you get. And also you become an. When you talk to your. Even when you talk to your friends about the Matrix and the. The more you talk to your friends about how you're the universe experiencing itself, the more they're gonna hate you. So they.

[Mason]

They think you're arrogant. They think you're an.

[Lyle]

And I mean, only if you're being arrogant about it. Only if you are right, you know?

[Mason]

Well, I, I say those things because that's how my parents were referring to me when I talk. And I mean, I'm just. I'm trying to find that separation between me living outside of the Matrix while still living in the confines of my household while still living in the confines of the Matrix, going, going and clocking in every morning.

[Lyle]

Right.

[Mason]

But I think it's just a lot to navigate, man. And it seems like I'm too young to be experiencing the world in this. In this. In this light at the moment, maybe.

[Lyle]

Sorry to start interrupt. You go, no worries. Also, in talking about, like, I don't. You shouldn't let your parents and the people. You shouldn't let your parents and the people around you dilute you. You know, you shouldn't let them dilute you. You. You shouldn't let them dilute you. But also, you got to learn to live in the other people's contexts. You know, you got to have the empathy for your parents.

[Mason]

Put myself in their shoes.

[Lyle]

You got to put yourself in their shoes, and you got to understand how their brain works and how their world works. And you might. You might be living in this world that's, like, spiritually beyond what they understand. Not even in a douchey. I don't even. That sounds douchey, but you know what I mean? But you got to learn. You got to take some empathy and have it for them so that you can be like, okay, I'm gonna. What's the best way to be in this situation with them right now? And that shows that I. Because you gotta, you gotta live in their context. You can't let them, you don't want to let them dilute you and you don't want to let them make you feel bad about yourself or make you.

[Mason]

I'm trying, I'm trying hard, right? Yeah, I'm trying hard, but I'm trying to separate myself from Agent Smith. Actively trying to, to pull me back into their way of thinking. Right. I mean, I refer. Today, I did refer to my parents as Agent Smith, but that is really.

[Lyle]

That is extremely fun.

[Mason]

But I mean.

[Lyle]

Well, I'm sorry, I want to ask you. I have.

[Mason]

I want Three slope.

[Lyle]

Dude, I want to ask you. So, I mean, what is going on with your parents? Like, what is the deal there? They.

[Mason]

They love me almost too much, it feels like. Like I said, it's overbearing. I've had this unconditional, unconditional love for the last 21 years of my existence. I will always know they love me and I will always love them. But I, I don't feel as though I'm in a. A constant state to be parented anymore because I've. I've found that in, in forms of mentors, mentors in my job, mentors in my life. My. I, I tend. I, I find it hard to relate with my peers sometimes because, Because I'm an old soul, I'm. I feel like a man that's, that's living in the 60s right now, if that makes any sense to you.

[Lyle]

Sure.

[Mason]

I mean, I, I just, I find it hard to come to terms with. With reality as we know it today because I, I'm just reminiscent on, on past societies, past cultures.

[Lyle]

Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. What is it about? And I want you to try. I'm gonna try. I want to try to rein this in and get really specific here. What is it about past societies that you think can't be found in the world that you currently live in? If you can give me a specific answer about that, Because I'm willing to bet.

[Mason]

So I'm, I'm immediately thinking. I'm immediately thinking of the movie Midnight in Paris. Owen Wilson goes to Paris and he hops in a horse, wagon and carriage, and it brings him back to the 1920s in a time where Paris, culture, literature, evolution and society was at its finest. And what I took out of that message was people in the present are actively trying to go back to, to how things used to be. And I mean, I'm just a man and I, I know I can't chart the course of history and I can't go back.

[Lyle]

I gotta stop you. I gotta stop you. Dude, I'm so sorry for forgetting your name because I'm really enjoying our conversation, but what's your name again? Mason. Mason. Mason. Mason. I'm gonna stop you and I'm gonna ask you again because you kind of did the thing that I thought you were gonna do.

[Mason]

Okay, Right, sorry.

[Lyle]

You kind of did the thing that I thought you were going to do, which is fine. But I'm going to ask you again. What specifically do you think is gone from the past that you can't find today?

[Mason]

Really? Really? Nothing. The only, the only thing is the addition of smartphones. Right? I mean, I just, I just, I don't like the way that smartphones make the common man think anymore because everyone would rather be so sucked into the reality of their online screens. It's really just the modern age of technology we live in. While I reap the benefits of that, I also am reminiscent of a time where I had to go to the library to, to find information. And I mean, Mason.

[Lyle]

I, I, I under. Here's the thing, and I get, and actually, I don't think you echo, you don't echo an unpopular sentiment. I think a lot of people, especially in like, you know, I mean.

[Cora]

You.

[Lyle]

Know, 21, 27 is not a crazy gap, but it is a gap. And I think a lot of people, you know, you were of the age where we've only, we've only known smartphones. And I think a lot of people do realize underneath it that they don't like a smartphone culture and they don't like it. And I, I, I think that you're not alone in that. And I think that there's opportunity in understanding that you're not alone in that and going out to find the more sort of intentional people and intentional communities that you seek. But you don't wanna, you don't. I don't. I just, I just would hate, you know, you're a smart guy, Mason. I would, I would hate for you to waste any time lamenting about the state of the world when you could be, when you could be finding the, the people and the places that are worth engaging because, you know, fucking. Every, you know, dude, every, every. This is a. Not a popular sentiment. What? Every epoch of history has had horrible, horrible things going on. I mean, we had Fucking like, we had two world wars, man. Like, you know, there's never been a state of the world that was utopian. Maybe. Actually, maybe. Maybe a little bit in the 90s, but even then, there's probably going on. That was kind of when technology was perfect. But anyway. But anyway, like, all the. The things that. At least if we're gonna talk about you as an individual, the things that you seem to want. You seem to want to. You. Just from talking to you, I'm gauging that. You seem to want connection. You seem to want community. You seem to want to be able to express yourself. You seem to want adventures more than. Those are.

[Mason]

Those.

[Lyle]

Those are. I mean, bro, those are my. Those are my three big life values is adventure and community, creative expression. And you can find out. You can find them. You don't need to travel to fucking the 1800s. Life would suck in the 1800s, man. You're.

[Mason]

Yeah, no, it certainly would. But I don't need. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine a gecko pulling out their gun from there and being a gunslinger, right?

[Cora]

Just.

[Mason]

Just like Rango, you know?

[Lyle]

Mason, I can. Mason. Mason, I can buy a gun right now, right? I don't want a gun. You can go have an event. You can go to the library right now. You don't have to transport. So, you know, if I were just like, again, I would hate for you to be lamenting the world you could live in instead of realizing the opportunities that exist in the world that you do live in. Especially you. I mean, you got. You got it on lock. I. I know that the crypto or whatever, you understand that you got to try to figure out some way to make money outside of the traditional ways in order to, you know, you understand the concepts of financial freedom and you understand this. And then the other thing, as far as dealing with your parents, I mean, I don't know, man. You'll. I. Honestly, if I had to simplify my thoughts about this conversation that we've had so far, I think you'll figure it out. But, like, don't let yourself go too crazy, man. Like, stay.

[Mason]

Sure.

[Lyle]

You know, I mean, stay, stay. And also when I rooted.

[Mason]

Stay.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Mason]

Even healed.

[Lyle]

When other people want to help you, you should also be open to letting them to the degree that it doesn't dilute your. Your spirits and personality. You should let people help you, especially medical professionals, because also, a lot of the fucking things that we think of as spiritual awakenings are truly just brain chemicals acting in crazy ways, you know? But. Yeah, so I don't know. Let People let people help you try to cultivate some form of empathy and understanding with your parents while not, you know, while preserving yourself and. Yeah, just try to try your best, man. I don't know. That was a long rant, but.

[Mason]

No, dude, exactly what I needed to hear today. I do need to make amends with my parents. I knew we had a kind of drag out fight last night where I just wish conflict resolution was more addressed in my upbringing because I am actively trying to keep an open mind and kind of check my emotions at the door when I'm having conversations and really just taking in the full scope of. Scope of what they're saying. And I mean, that kind of ties back to living in the moment and, and being an active listener. So you're not, you're, you're, you're listening and you're not reacting to what they are saying. Yeah, and that's, that is still what I'm trying to juggle and process right now is I try to find my footing in this world as we all are trying to find our footing in this world. I mean, we're supposed to be ever changing individuals. And I mean, I'm just trying to evolve essentially and broaden my horizons in a way that most people aren't open to doing because they're content and they're comfortable in their current way of thinking in their current environment and circumstances. And the wilderness must be explored.

[Lyle]

Yeah, well, I try not to try that. I, you know, it's funny is I actually do think, especially I think when you're younger and you're, you know, when you're like young and ambitious, there is a tendency to think of yourself in terms of others, which is what you're saying of like, you know, I want to explore the wilderness and I don't want to be like the other people. And that's actually, it's a weird, it's a helpful jump start slash motivator to getting yourself out and in the world and doing shit. But then it's funny, I mean, I've been on that journey. I'm still on the journey. But then you kind of do all that stuff and then you come back down to earth and you're like, oh, we were all, we. We were all kind of the same in some. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, Mason, at the end of the.

[Mason]

Day, we're all human, right?

[Lyle]

Yes, we're all human. We're all destined for. Who knows? We didn't talk about the job thing. Yeah, we can talk about it briefly if you want. What do you want to do?

[Mason]

Dude, that's, that's still what I'm trying to figure out because I was, I was content with. So when I, when I graduated, my, my walkout speech was I want to win the lottery and I want to buy the theme park that I've worked at my entire life. The owner of the theme park saw that and, and had a chuckle. But I mean I've always, I've kind of been a one track mind up until my acute mania. So I mean I would, I would have with working at this place my entire life, but I'm actively trying to veer away from, from that way of thinking and, and realize there's more to, to life than to, than, than working at the same job my entire working career. So right now I'm, I think I'm trying to expand my resume. I mean resume comes to like gaining world experience as well as my working career. So I mean I'm almost thinking working for a cruise line and being able to, being able to see the world while also getting a steady paycheck, living, living abroad and living aboard a vessel. Right. So I mean I think there's, there's proper ways to go about this that kind of tap into the what I'm, what I'm actively searching for. And that's just a sense of connection and a sense of humanity because I, I kind of, I kind of radiate off the energy I receive in the world. So I mean if I'm, if I'm around a group of people, my, my initial instinct is to, to bring the spirits of others up. So I kind of do that in the form of being a stand up comedian. I kind of do that, of being courteous and, and charismatic and gentle to others. But when, when I'm, when I'm receiving toxic energy or, or hearing things that, I mean, that are coming from a place of love. But yeah, I just, I need to be more open and understanding.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Mason]

Kind of like you're saying, but you.

[Lyle]

Know, but I also, I think that what you're talking, I think everything you're talking about is, is sort of a natural process of maturity that you go, I mean, you're still, you're still a young man. I think, I think I'll let you go in a sec. But I, I think that the hunches that you have to make more of your life and do more things and try to put yourself out there by, you know, whatever going on a cruise line or maybe doing like a work away or some, I think they're great hunches. And I. And I think that a lot of the things you're going for, sort of emotionally or spiritually, they kind of come as a result of, like, natural maturity. So I just. I'm gonna let you go, but I'll. I'll say don't let. Just don't let. Just don't let yourself go too crazy and try to let people help you if they feel like. Yeah, they feel like you need help. Mason, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?

[Mason]

Not necessarily to the computer. I do have a thought for you. Have you ever thought about doing a therapy get go podcast out of an airplane as you're actively skydiving for the first time, or if you've. If you haven't been skydiving before? I think that would be a good piece of content.

[Lyle]

I unfortunately, hate that idea. I've. No, I'm not interested. Do you.

[Mason]

Damn it.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I do. I. I'm not interested in, like, extreme sports or things that. In, like, any kind of, like, physical danger.

[Mason]

Right.

[Lyle]

But I like. But I appreciate the idea. I appreciate the idea. Yeah, I think I would for sure. No, I would. I would shit my pants. There's way. But there's a. There's way other things that I would rather do than skydive, but who knows?

[Mason]

Then to the. The people, the computer, I just want to say live and let live. And I mean, be the best version of yourself every day.

[Lyle]

So beautiful. Thanks for listening. Thanks for the kind words you have about the podcast. Thanks for sharing your story, and I'll. I'll see you around the universe, Mason.

[Mason]

Absolutely, man. Thank you for the time. Take care. Bye.

[Lyle]

You know, it's funny, he said he's listened to every episode. I wonder if he's gonna listen back to himself on this episode. That could be crazy. That could be crazy. I liked that conversation. Yeah. I do feel like I actually. I feel I felt a lot in common with Mason. Like. Like thinking about, like, me at 21. Not so much the existential stuff. I wasn't particular. I was. Maybe I was a little bit existential when I was 20. I was definitely a little bit existential when I was 21. Not to the degree that I am now or to the degree that I think Mason might be, but I definitely had the same sort of adventurous spirit or desire to find something beyond what I. What I knew. But, yeah, I think. I think he'll arrive at certain places again through just a natural maturity. And that was. And that was that call and I am a Gecko.

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[Lyle]

Hello.

[Cora]

Hi, I'm Cora. Wow, this is crazy. How's it going?

[Lyle]

You know, actually this morning is going good. I feel good. I'm here on the earth. I'm asking a lot of questions to my brain, but you know, doing the best, doing the best I can. How are you doing, Cora? What's up?

[Cora]

I'm doing pretty good, you know, I'm feeling. I remember you told the listener one time is the least important conversation that he'll ever have. Trying to tell myself that right now.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Cora]

You know, my day's doing pretty good.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Cora]

On break at work.

[Lyle]

Yeah. This is among one of the least important conversations I think you'll have. What's, what's your life like outside of this conversation?

[Cora]

Well, I'm a trans woman. I just moved to Seattle from the Midwest. So that's a pretty interesting change. I'm living with a couple, so it's me and then two people that are dating in a two bedroom, which is only the second weirdest roommate situation I've had. But yeah, that's pretty much what my life looks like right now.

[Lyle]

Why is that a weird situation for you? Is it? Do you feel like you're third wheeling these people?

[Cora]

Oh, yeah, no, it's. It's like chill. We're all, we're all like queer. So it's not like super awkward. I think, I think we've avoided awkward situations so far. But you know, sometimes I gotta set boundaries, you know, Gotta be like, don't share, don't be intimate around me. You know, stuff like that.

[Lyle]

What was the other roommate situation that you were in?

[Cora]

My ex. So I lived with my ex for like, wow, I just saw someone run over a traffic cone. That's crazy. Anyways, sorry. So I lived with my ex for like a year after we broke up. And that was the weirdest roommate situation I think I have ever been in. And I think. I mean, obviously that's already weird, but it was mainly weird because they started dating someone, like, very shortly after we broke up and continued to live together.

[Lyle]

Did they have the person that they were dating over the house while you guys were living together?

[Mason]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Were you guys sharing, like, a one bedroom or a studio or did you at least have your own room?

[Cora]

So. I had my own room. We shared a wall, so I did hear some things. Kind of weird. Kind of felt like I was sitting in the chair sometimes. You know what I mean?

[Lyle]

Yeah, totally. Who's. Who's. Whose idea was it to break up.

[Cora]

Theirs?

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, it was like. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[Cora]

Oh, no, it was. It was just like a bad relationship, though. So I think they're kind of valid. You know, I think we. We were just. We were together for, like four and a half years or something when we broke up. And I'm 24. I just turned 24, so, like, we were together for, like, since, like, high school. So, you know.

[Lyle]

And. Are you out dating anyone now? Are you. What are you doing?

[Cora]

You know, I've been thinking about getting on dating apps. I feel like I've kind of. I've not been dating or been interested in anything romantic since I moved. I don't know why. I feel like I've just been, like. Since I was in a relationship for so long, I've just been, like, enjoying doing my own thing. Oh, my God.

[Lyle]

Mm. What is it? What is your own thing that you've been doing?

[Cora]

Um, well, I. Let's see, my big three hobbies are, like, music video games, and I make, like, YouTube videos. But, yeah, I would say I feel. That's a weird. I feel like we're bringing up YouTube videos on your podcast. Sorry?

[Lyle]

Well, I was gonna ask. I was gonna ask what kind of YouTube videos? What kind of YouTube videos?

[Cora]

So I got. I just started a podcast, actually, and then I also make. Me and one of my roommates makes. We both make video essays and I. I edit them and stuff. So. Yeah.

[Lyle]

What was the last thing? What was the last thing you made a video essay about?

[Cora]

Well, the last thing I'm. The thing I'm about to upload is so I make anime videos, but, like, I'm also queer, so I want to get, like, a queer audience, right? So I thought, what better thing to cover than to talk about Futanari?

[Lyle]

What the hell is Futonari?

[Cora]

I don't know if you know what that is.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I probably I, I, what is, what is futinari?

[Cora]

Futinari? Well, I'm going to be the caller that teaches you about futunari. Okay, so this is essentially like hentai, you know hentai, sure, it's that, but with girls with like massive penises.

[Lyle]

Oh.

[Cora]

And that's it. That's essentially the whole meme. And my video was on whether or not it's representation because it kind of fetishizing. So it was kind of just like a pseudo intellectual video essay about that. But yeah.

[Lyle]

You know, can I, I'm very curious about what you think about. This is like, is, is the idea and I don't know, maybe, maybe this is a stupid thing to talk about. But like in, in the current world, right, where like everyone, like we're no longer living in a monoculture, like, is representation still a thing? Because like, we're all kind of representing ourselves on the Internet now. So it's like, I don't know. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I'm curious what you think, because like, I don't know, do we need like, do. Are people still like hung up about like representation in like mainstream media? If there isn't any mainstream media really? I mean, there still is, I guess, mainstream media, but it's like dying, you know, so it's like when you, because like when you scroll on TikTok or Instagram Reels, you already get like, you're algorithmically, you're presented with representations of yourself like naturally. I don't know, I'm just spitballing ideas here, but what do you think about that?

[Cora]

No, that's so real because like the for you page, my for you page is all people that are like me. It's all queer people. And other than like stuff that goes viral just ends up there naturally. Like it's mostly people that are like me. So I am represented by my social media intakes. That's an interesting point. I feel like a lot of people have been like this, like so disillusioned by popular media. Like movies like Marvel Movies, for example, they were going to release a comic for Marvel called Snowflake and Safe Space. And it was supposed to be representation for non binary superheroes. But it's like, obviously that's so cringe to have a superhero called Snowflake in Safe Space. I feel like that's a great example of like, yeah, we don't need representation when it's like a billion dollar corporation. They don't know what they're doing. We're not even Looking for that anyways.

[Lyle]

Right, right. I mean, kind of like, you know, I guess, who gives a what, like, the billion dollar or whatever? I, I, I don't know. I feel like social media, although people demonized lots of aspects of it, it has allowed for greater democratization of the media landscape, you know? Well, I got. Okay, I got a question for you. So listen, as a queer person, how do you feel when, like, what, a Target or whatever? Or, like, like, during Pride Month, right, When all these companies are like, hey, look, we have a rain. We changed our profile picture to the Rainbow Flag, but it's still, like, you know, we're doing a bunch of crazy stuff behind the scenes. Like, does that, does that do anything for you?

[Cora]

You know, I have a funny anecdote about this. There was, like, a viral video of someone, like, trashing a Barnes and Noble Pride display, though. It's, like, from down the street from where I grew up, like, at my Barnes and Nobles. And I think that was, like, two years ago this year. Companies did not really do the whole pride thing. And I think it's because of stuff like that, where people are coming in and, like, screaming about, like, tucking underwear, you know, I wish stuff like that, you know, like, the Target specifically is tragic because, like, sometimes they do be having cute stuff at Target, you know, but, like, yeah, I don't know. It really depends on the store. Also, I saw there's, like, always a meme, like a Raytheon Pride profile picture, you know, or like, US Army Pride profile picture. Like, okay, but I guess I don't.

[Lyle]

Like when you see that, you know, and it's got, like, like, like the Trans Flag in it. Like, does that do anything for you? Does that make you feel. Is that, do you like that stuff?

[Cora]

No, it's. I feel like it's more of a meme. I feel like it's kind of like an indicator of just, like, whoever's president. You know what I mean? Like, how, like, how, which, which way are the tides turning in terms of which is more profitable? You know what I mean? They don't. It's more of like. Yeah, no, it doesn't do anything for me. It's just more interesting.

[Lyle]

What? Well, you grew up in the Midwest.

[Cora]

Yes, I grew up in Arizona, so kind of Midwest, kind of.

[Lyle]

Okay. Was there a lot of queer culture in Arizona?

[Cora]

There is a lot of queer culture in Arizona. It's kind of a weird state because everything's so spread out and it's so hot, so no one fucking goes outside. So the community there Is very, like, spread out and not very centralized. But there are a lot of gay people that live in Arizona.

[Lyle]

Were you in a major city or were you in kind of a smaller place?

[Cora]

I was in a major city, so I. I went to asu. And yeah, so that area was pretty gay. But there's also a lot of everyone there because international students and just everyone. College town, you know. But yeah, I think Arizona is, like, very weird. It's like, I mean, obviously all the young people are like, general, like, west coast demographic, but also, like, we have so many boomers that are just giving, like, straight, like, Midwestern small town, like, evangelical Christian. Like, who am I about to talk to right now when I'm going for the fries? You know, like, nice old lady or like, crazy person, you know, that's kind of how it felt for me. I don't know if this is like, the same experience for anyone listening. Obviously, I'm a trans woman, so I kind of view it through like, a more biased lens. I'm sure it's chill for some people, but. Yeah.

[Lyle]

And how has Seattle been in comparison? Just. I mean, sort of just in general.

[Cora]

Oh, it's awesome. For. I mean, for queer people, this is like, the best place to be. I'm telling you. Capitol Hill and like, just Seattle in general, there's like. I mean, I actually am seeing, like, same sex couples hold hands in public, which is something I had never seen before, like, outside of pride parades. So that's interesting. I think also people in Seattle. This is kind of funny. People in Seattle suck at saying hi to you on the street. I don't know. What do you think? Do you enjoy when people say, like, hey, how are you?

[Lyle]

They suck at saying hi. Well, I feel like in any big city, you're not gonna get people saying hi to you on the street.

[Cora]

Yeah. You're a New Yorker. Can people do that there?

[Lyle]

No, of course not. Definitely not. Well, because there's so many people, like, saying hi on the street is like. Well, let me think. No, I mean, when I go back home to Baltimore, like to the suburbs, like, I'll say hi to somebody if I pass by them in the suburbs. But that's not. I don't think that's really a thing that happens in a big city.

[Cora]

Yeah, I guess if there's so many people, you can't say hi to everyone.

[Lyle]

Right? Right. Yeah, maybe like. Yeah, no, no, it's not really a big saying hi to people town. What do you. What's. So you're living with this couple there Right?

[Cora]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Okay. How do you know them? Were they just random people from Craigslist or your friends?

[Cora]

No. So one of them is like my best friend. We moved. He actually asked me to move here first and I was like, okay, sure. So we moved here together. And then he started dating someone, like, pretty fast just because he's like, very like, social and on dating apps and stuff. And yeah, it just ended up working out that the U haul lesbian, I don't know if you've heard that term, U haul lesbian, but like, what is.

[Lyle]

A U haul lesbian?

[Cora]

So a U haul lesbian is when two people, two queer people start. So U haul lesbian applies to women, but it could be anyone. And it's essentially when the relationship moves really fast in terms of like, oh, we met two days ago and now we're like moving in together, you know, so we already got the U haul. So it's called a U haul lesbian.

[Lyle]

Is that a. I feel like, and this is purely like anecdotal observation, like, I feel like. Do. Do queer relationships tend to move quicker than straight relationships?

[Cora]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Why do you definitely do.

[Cora]

Because straight people have a stick up their butt, man. Feel like the process of a straight relationship, first date, is removing the stick up your butt, and then you can talk like normal people. You know, like, everyone's so scared. I feel like queer people, like, you already have, like, such like a huge life experience in common. You. You are. You can kind of get past that, like, awkward phase. I feel like a bit easier.

[Lyle]

Interesting.

[Cora]

Yeah. And you're just more comfortable. I don't know.

[Lyle]

Is there, do you think, like, again, anecdotally from your experience, do you. Have you found like, that queer people have been more like, generally wired for like, down for like, monogamy from the start? Because I feel like, well, like, in straight relationships, I feel like in general, there's a lot of like, hesitancy toward. For commitment and, you know, oh, maybe, you know, in the world of infinite possibilities, is there someone else better out there? You know, do we want to move things so fast? You know, do you feel like there's less of that in the. In the queer community?

[Cora]

Is there less. I'm sorry, what was the last part of the question?

[Lyle]

Oh, no, you know, just. Just like fear of commitment. I'll put it short.

[Cora]

Oh, yeah, no, I'm back on track. Yeah. So, I mean, it's more like you can. I don't know. I guess it's per person. I wouldn't want to generalize fear of commitment as like a queer thing or Not a queer thing. But I feel like maybe. I feel like maybe queer people just like lack community from spaces where it's offered normally. Like maybe family or like friends or maybe like in schooling, like if you're like not in an accepting area. I feel like stuff like that makes you like want to move faster in your relationship because you want to like fill what you don't have. And normally you don't need to do that in a relationship to get those things, you know, like there's lots of found family, so I feel like it kind of. It kind of has to relate to that also. So it's kind of an incentive to commit as opposed to fear of commitment. To bring it back to your question, I feel like there's more of an incentive to commit for like community. Like you're all in the same community anyways.

[Lyle]

Yeah, interesting. What about you personally? How's your. Are you like trying to find a husband or a wife or like what is your. What's your goal?

[Cora]

Oh man, I thought I was into men for so long, but I think I really just want a wife, you know, or a girlfriend. I don't want to get married. Honestly, it's kind of. Speaking of fear of commitment, I'm not trying to get married. That's scary. But yeah, no, I've been thinking of getting on dating apps, but I also want to see if like going to like third spaces or shared spaces for like my interests would help me find and meet people because I just moved here so I need to like go out and like find things, do my weekly things so I don't kill myself. You know, like that one guy said magic on Monday, so I don't kill myself.

[Lyle]

It's true. You got to have something to make it so that you don't kill yourself. It's very important. Yeah, very important. Do you have a job of some kind out there?

[Cora]

Yes, without doxing myself. I work at car dealerships. So it's a very not queer job. It's kind of the opposite actually. It's very interesting.

[Lyle]

Yeah, tell me more. How's that experience been?

[Cora]

So I work on like the. I work like non sales. I work in service. So when I talk to sales people it's always like in passing. So this is where I get a lot of like, oh, people suck at saying hello. Like so these are like my co workers that I never have to talk to, but we see each other every day and they all suck at communicating. Specifically at this dealership that I'm at right now, I feel like everyone Sucks at communicating. Except for me. And car dealerships are just like that out here. I don't know. Everyone's like, so focused.

[Mason]

Sorry.

[Cora]

I'm basically sales people are so focused on selling cars that they're kind of rude. And then the service techs are all just like, dude bros. So if you're one of those types of people, it's great. But. Yeah, no, I'm kind of just here because it makes me somebody, you know? You know?

[Lyle]

Do you work in. Do you. Are you. Do you work in sales or you. Do you, like, get commissions and stuff?

[Cora]

So I work in service, so I like, work on the electricity. I'm like 12 volt, so, like, I work on cars. Like the electricity part of it. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay.

[Cora]

It's not very interesting.

[Lyle]

What's your name again? Kara.

[Cora]

Cora.

[Lyle]

Cora, what's your. I guess before we go. Well, I, you know, I want to ask you this, Cora, because I. I know we just kind of chatted for 20 minutes, but was there a particular thing you wanted to talk about when you called?

[Cora]

I feel like I steer the conversation towards all the topics I would talk about, honestly.

[Lyle]

Perfect. What's next for you? What's your dream in life? What? What?

[Cora]

I want to be an influencer.

[Lyle]

I want to be an influencer or work for someone.

[Cora]

This isn't. I'm not doing the cringe thing where people call and ask for jobs. I would never do that.

[Mason]

But I want.

[Cora]

It's either that or, like, be an editor for someone. Like a YouTuber, you know? So those are my two things I'm working on right now. So I've been editing my podcast and I got my friend's YouTube channel in mine and just autistically doing that over and over again. So. Yeah.

[Lyle]

So your. And have you uploaded a video essay before? Is this your debut?

[Cora]

I've had. I've done three before, but two of them. My first one is pretty. So my first one's bad. My second one's pretty good. I'm uploading a third one and then I have a couple on my friend's channel. I'm starting out, though. It's pretty debut. No subscribers.

[Lyle]

Have you got. Have you gotten any. Any buzz on any of them or at least. Because here's the thing, right? It's not about, like, going viral or getting a ton of views, but, like, if you post a video essay, right, and you get like 3 comments from people you don't know, that's pretty good.

[Cora]

Yeah. So I think I found that.

[Mason]

So.

[Cora]

Yeah, I agree. I'm not really, like focused on the numbers. I'm kind of more focused on how much like engagement I get with people. So, like one of them, I posted about how this anime character is trans and a lot of people don't think that they're trans. It's from this anime called Ranma One half for context. For anyone that knows that show that got like 500 views, but it got like a hundred comments of people arguing in the comments. Yeah, because that's what you want, like a controversial topic. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Right, Right. So, yeah, that's what people, I think, you know, people don't understand about like building Internet careers or whatnot is. That's not about like how many views or followers someone or something has. It's more about like how many comments there are. Because that, that's a representation of like how many actual human beings are genuinely engaging in the things that you are saying and doing.

[Cora]

Right. No. Yeah. I think it's so cool to actually get like that feedback, especially on YouTube when it's like delayed. I don't know, it's very fun. It's like instead of, it's like turning in like a video assignment for a class, but instead of a teacher, it's like a bunch of like random 12 year old boys on the Internet. That's how it feels. And I get back and I'm like.

[Lyle]

How did I do? Yeah, I like that analogy. Yeah, it is. It's like you're writing an essay for school, except instead of a teacher, it's a bunch of 12 year olds on YouTube that are giving you the grades. That's very funny. Well, Cora, if you want, you can shout yourself out.

[Cora]

Okay, so I. My, my video essay channel is Coralex. C O R A L E X. And then my podcast is called Pleasers. And you can literally just call like type in pleasers Cora Lex. And it pops up.

[Lyle]

Cora Lex, anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Cora]

Go outside. Don't be afraid of making eye contact with people. You look silly. As someone that stops being afraid of eye contact, I'd be looking at people ignoring me and that looks silly. We all got to start talking to each other more. That's what I think.

[Lyle]

Stare at everyone.

[Cora]

Yes. There are people in public.

[Lyle]

Beautiful. Take care, Cora.

[Cora]

Yep, you too. Bye.

[Lyle]

That was fun. What was the thing? Foo something. Some of the foo. Cora Lex. Let's go. I'm gonna check her out. Let's see. Cora Lex. YouTube.com Cora Lex. Oh, okay, this is not what I was expecting to come up when I typed it. Okay, this is a skateboarding person. This is definitely not the right thing. Okay, I'm just gonna search Cora Lex on. Oh, here. Here we go. Here we go. Did trans people ruin anime? I think that, I think that's the one that, that, that they're talking about. I like this format. This is cool. Yeah, there we go. There's a bunch of people in the comments talking about each other. That's good. This is good. Yeah, I like, I like make. I like when people make stuff. I think it's good to make stuff. Rock and roll.

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[Lyle]

Hey, what's up folks? I'm gonna end this episode by doing a little bit of Geck mail. If you're not familiar, Geck mail is a thing that I do where I read viewer mail and if you want to me to read an email that you have sent, you can send me an [e-mail] and I might perhaps read your email. So let's, let's start reading a few emails, shall we? Okay, this first one is from Valentin. The subject line is all caps. We are sinners. Valentin says. Dear Lyle, I've been listening to your podcast since the pandemic and I wanted to thank you and the listeners for bringing together so many stories. Thank you, Valentin. I, 26, from Vienna, Australia, am not religious by any means. But this new year I walked past a church and thought about going in for confession. Mainly because therapy is so expensive and religions use many tools like meditation that are used in therapy too. However, I didn't go in. I've thought about doing a confession once. I don't, I don't. Can Jews go to confession? I feel like, I mean that's. Who gives it? No one. I think they just let you in. I think you just do it. Anyway, after giving it some thought, I realized that most of the sins quote unquote discussed in Confession are religious in nature, parentheses, blasphemy, masturbation, premarital sex, etc and I don't feel bad about participating in those things. When I got home, I kept thinking about what I would have said if I had gone in. At first I couldn't come up with anything. This felt strange because of course we all do things that aren't okay, even if unintentionally. The more I thought about it, the more I spiraled into overthinking my and others actions and whether they are morally right and respectful. I wonder how many people find the balance between being self serving and empathetic for the community when the lion is evil and when I wonder how many people find the balance between being self serving and empathetic for the community and when the line of evil is drawn and how conscious all those good and evil people in the world are. One of the sins that came to mind had to do with Eric, the man from the Australian homeless shelter. The man. Oh, the man from the Austrian homeless shelter. Okay, wait, I remember this. Do you guys remember a phone call that I took on here? I think. I think this is a. Yeah, this is a. This is person is referencing a phone call I took on here from this guy, this Austrian dude named Eric who worked at a. At a homeless shelter. One of the things that came to mind had to do with Eric, the man from the Austrian homeless shelter. In the chat, when I was streaming this on Twitch, in the chat I commented that I'd love to get in contact with him to go to your show in Cologne and he replied that we should get in touch. Interesting. However, I completely ghosted him. At the time, I was broke from a trip I had just taken, under immense pressure to finish my experiments for my master's thesis and trying to find a PhD position. On the other hand, Eric was probably looking to get in touch with me and never got a reply. I'm sorry, Eric. I hope you can forgive me. I hope you and Eric had an amazing show in Cologne and that you'll come back to Europe Sunday. All the best. Love your podcast. Okay, here's what I'm confused about is did. Okay, when you say you ghosted him, right? When you say you ghosted him, were you guys just in the Twitch chat and you were like, hey, we should go to the show together? And he was like, yeah, we should. And then you didn't say anything else? Is that really ghosting? Because look, here's the thing, right? We all know that. We all know that some plans just don't make it out of the group chat. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes plans just don't make it out of the group chat. That's not really ghosting. Ghosting would be more like if you guys got in contact in the DMS and you were like, hey, what time do you want to meet up on the day of the show? Right? If it got. If it got to that point, then maybe it's ghosting. But if it was just like you brought it up in the chat, I don't think, I don't think he needs to go to confession for that necessarily. But thank you for your thoughts, Valentin. Okay, let's see here. This is from Jeremy. Subject line, open. Masturbation, second date. Hey, Geck, I had a girl over at my house hanging out. Okay, this person spelled girl with a U. It's not that important, but it's also a little important. I had a girl over at my house hanging out. We met on the apps Hinge specifically. We were just chilling, watching a show. No physical contact or intimacy had been performed at all thus far. This evening we were watching Squid Game season three, and I get up to let my dog out, and when I come back, this girl is completely naked on my couch, legs spread open, using a mini vibrator, casually having an orgasm right there, right on my couch. Geck. I see this and go, oh, sorry. Turned around and walked back outside and came back a minute later. When I get back, she's dressed and sitting there watching TV like nothing happened. I sit back down and watch for about five minutes in complete silence before I asked her why she didn't just use the bathroom or something. And her response was, I just needed to have an orgasm. You know, I'm almost certain I'm asexual but hate labels. So I just set her up on a date with a mate who's always horny. Lol. I'm Australian, by the way. Come to Canaburra for a show. My confused regards, Jeremy. Okay, this is a. What an awesome email. That's so funny. First of all, I, I. You know, Jeremy, I have to say, I think if you're asexual, that's all cool. I have such strong respect for you that after all this happened, you just. You set her up with one of your friends. That's awesome. That's a really good. That's a really good move. This woman, clearly, I think if a woman comes to your house and then you go to the bathroom or some shit, and then she comes back, and then you come back and she's just naked. She's probably. I would probably assume that she was into you or she, or some. I would probably. That's a. I think that's a fair assumption. Maybe she didn't know that you were. That you were asexual. I don't know. I don't. This, I, this is an interesting case to me, but you talk. I, I would ask your friend. I would be like, so what, what's up? Did you. Did, Did. Did your friend and this lady go on a date? Did. Did. I'm really curious about this lady. If your friend ends up going out with this lady and then gives you any more information, let me. I send another email because I'm curious what this lady's deal is because there's some. Something's going on. Maybe. Who knows? Not that it's any of my business, I guess. Although I guess my entire show is about things that are none of my business. You're a good homie, Jeremy. Okay, this is from Brendan. Subject line, stuck in my own brain. Hello, Lyle. I'll keep this as short as I can. Recently I broke up with my partner, and ever since it happened, I haven't changed for the better. I've been ignoring most social connections I had and feeling non stop guilt for the breakup and also for being distant from the world. I can't stop feeling pathetic and scared to step back into the world, despite how bad this is for my health. Have you ever been too depressed or distant to want to be a part of people's lives? If you have or haven't, do you have any advice on how to stay positive and go through life even when it seems impossible to do? Love? The podcast was a treat to see alive later this year. If you read this Higher cool guy, Anonymous. Okay, well, all right, well, we'll cut his name out. We'll just say, this is from Anonymous. Okay, I'm trying to think here. I'm trying to think here. And this is a real, this is a very much a real therapist type of a thing. But I am, it does have me thinking about my own life, I think. I mean, I'm the kind of, you know, there's two kinds of, like, depressed people. Like, some people get depressed and they, when. Some people, when they get depressed, they withdraw and they don't want to talk to anyone. And I've had, I have tons of friends like that who, they get depressed and they just ghost everyone and they don't want to be a part of people's lives. In my personal experience with depression, I'm Kind of the opposite. When I get depressed, I want to. Okay, I'll say this. When I'm, you know, part of what I enjoy in my own life and is also my job is, like, interfacing with new people and new experiences and trying to find interest in the world around me. And like, I have. I have a part of my soul that, like, loves life and loves people and loves new experiences and wants to connect with as many folks as possible and engage in as many novel experiences as possible and whatnot. And when I get depressed, I absolutely distance myself from that part. And I go, wow, I don't give a fuck about. To anyone or anything, and I super distance myself from that. But when it comes to people, I'm already connected with, like the people in my life, like my, you know, my family and my. Like my. My real friends and whatnot. When I get depressed, I tend to be drawn more towards them, if that makes sense. I typically crave social connection from people I already know when I'm depressed, but I lose the part of myself that wants to engage with the world at large. And so do I have any advice on how to stay positive and go through life even when it seems impossible to do, you know, within your ability? I don't know what your life looks like beyond just this email, but I've definitely had. I've had periods of time where I was really depressed and I was like, I shouldn't bother dating or going out and doing anything because I'm just like. I don't. I can't see why anyone would want to be around me right now because I'm just like, such a. I have no energy. And I think typically when I feel that way, it's a sign that I gotta go back in to the. I call it the depression laboratory, where we gotta hit the drawing board. We gotta go, okay, something. Something's not good here. Is it a medication thing? Is it a. Is it a brain thing? Is it a. Whatever? We. Yeah, we hit the drawing board. So I think when I feel this way, I just go back to the drawing board and I go, okay, I'm clearly. You can't force it. I don't think. I'm just talking. I. Advice is one thing. I can only. I can only really just tell you my lived experience. And I found I can't force things when I'm depressed. So if I'm depressed and I. That means I can't, like, whatever, go to some social event or, you know, do this podcast or do something that demands of me. I Don't try to force it. Because the idea of, like, you said it, you say in this email, do you have any advice on how to go through life? And even when it seems impossible to do, it is, it is, is, is. If I'm in a situation where a thing seems impossible to do because of my mental health, don't do it. And I go, okay, let me go back to the depression laboratory and go, okay, maybe I need to get more sleep. Maybe I need to try some medication. Maybe I need to do this, that, the other thing first before I begin to feel like myself. And then the things that were previously impossible to do, I'm like, oh, they were impossible to do because of something internal that I needed to work out first. And now that I've worked them out, I'm like, okay, I actually can interface with the world after kind of fixing myself a little bit. That's really how it, how it's worked just for me in my life. So also, sometimes, bro, you just got to turn your shit off and back on again, you know? I'm saying. So you ever have a day, you ever have a day where you're like, yeah, we gotta, this, we gotta give, we gotta give up today. We'll try again tomorrow. I think I've brought this up on the podcast before maybe, but Dr. K, who's a great, you should check him out on YouTube. He goes by Healthy Gamer GG. He's like a. He's an actual therapist. He's like a psychiatrist guy. I know he does a lot of mental health videos, but he talked about, he says he doesn't dip into reserves. He says he works hard, but he doesn't dip into reserves. And when he said that, I was like, that's fucking genius. So that's kind of how I do it, is I'm like, I'll. I'll be a part of other people's lives. I'll interface with the part of myself that wants to be in the world doing things. And I'll work as hard as I can and I'll, you know, try as hard as I can. But once I sense in my brain and my body that I'm beginning to dip into reserves is when I stop and I go, okay, time to turn this off and back on again. I don't know if that rant was helpful for you in any way, but good luck, Brendan. Okay, I'll take a. I'll take one more viewer call. Alright. This is from we found love in an email. Okay. Oh, wait. This is from Elise, the subject Line is, we found love in an email. Hey, Geck, you spoke to my boyfriend, Bryce and I on Valentine's Day earlier this year. We were the couple who called in while sitting in a car outside the art museum. I fully. I not only fully remember this phone call, but I often think of it. Actually, I often think of it. We were the couple who called in while sitting in a car outside the art museum, thought to send a cute little update. We both cherish that episode. One thing I liked about this couple is I remember they were a little bit older, and they were on, like, a. I. What I liked. I remember I liked this episode because these two, they were a little bit older, and yet they were on a very teenage date. Like, I remember being 16 and I was on a date with a girl, like, sitting in a car in a parking lot, and it just. It feels like, you know, you have moments like that where you're like, all right, well, that was all high school. That's all gone. And I was talking to these two, and I was like, oh, shit, they're. They're still doing it, you know, So I thought it was cool. Okay. As a refresher, me and my boyfriend met in January of this year through hinge. Bryce had asked me to be official in March, and our relationship has grown so much since we last spoke to you. We've traveled together, met family members, connected on a very emotional level, and we can both confidently say that we've never felt safer with anyone before. I love that. And look, these guys met, what, when they were 29 or something like that? For all you young folks out there afraid you'll never find love, in our episode, we had briefly spoke about how many tribulations it took to find each other. I'm writing this not only as a form of a love letter, but I also wanted anyone in the dating scene who hears reads this to feel inspired to keep putting themself out there. I'd like to see this as a pay it forward, because there was a force in my life who inspired me to keep putting myself out there despite feeling hopeless toward dating. And if it wasn't for that, I would not have what I have today. So if you happen to read this, thank you, and thank you for all you do. Much love. Take care, Elise. Wow, that's a great email to end on. It's tough, man. It's tough. The apps are a grind. You know, real life is tricky. It's hard. It's hard for men and women out there, and I think a lot of people they get a little disillusioned, especially if, you know, things haven't happened at certain periods of time where you may have expected them to have happened. But. Yeah, I don't know. I. I've talked about this on here before. My. My parents are divorced and they're both remarried and they got divorced when they were in their fucking. I want to say my parents got divorced in, like, their mid or late 40s, and they're both remarried. And the people that my parents are remarried to, my stepmom and my stepdad are significantly better matches for them than each other. I mean, shit, I think my dad met my stepmom when he was fucking 49 or 48, 47. And they've. They have a great relationship. They've been together for a while. My mom met my stepdad when she was at a similar age. They've been together for, you know, they have a great relationship. So. Yeah, I agree. Just keep putting yourself out there. Life, Life, life. Okay, well, this was a fun podcast. This was a good one. Shout out to Mason. Shout out to Cora. Thank you guys for calling. Thank you guys for emailing. Thank you guys for listening. Oh, I am, folks, listening on Spotify or on any podcast form, although mainly Spotify, I'm gonna be. I. So this is the last thing I'll say before we go. I made this video. I don't know if you guys remember a caller named Diego from an episode back in December of 2024 or 2023, but there was a caller. There's this guy who called me on the show from Tijuana and we talked about the Tijuana break dance scene. And I went to Tijuana a couple months ago to. To meet him in real life. And I made this little travelogue documentary video. And actually, if you want to watch it on YouTube, it'll be. It's out right now on my YouTube channel, YouTube.comlylefore. but I'm also going to try to post it on here on Spotify as, like a video podcast episode on Friday. So look out for that. But if you also, if you want to just watch it right now, you can watch it on my YouTube. YouTube.com Lyle Forever. It should be out by the time this podcast episode is out. Anything else? That's it. Go watch that documentary. I hope you. I want you guys to watch it because I worked hard on it and I want to make more of them. And if you watch will it will make it so that I can make more around the world. Maybe I'll visit other callers. Maybe I'll go to Kenya, maybe I'll go to Brazil. Maybe I'll go to the Middle East. I want to do all that shit. Okay, I'm done ranting. I got to get off. I got to get out of here. But okay, see you guys soon. Thank you. Hello folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy gecko over at therapygecko.supercast.com Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show. They get recordings from my live shows members only streams and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.

[Mason]

But I did want to tell a story about the first time I did acid.

[Lyle]

Okay, hit me. Was it in Narnia?

[Mason]

I wouldn't say I ended up in Narnia. I felt like all of my bones disconnected like individually and were rotating like long ways inside of my skin. Like you don't know exactly how to.

[Cora]

Explain it, but not like circular, but.

[Lyle]

Like your bones are rotating inside of your skin. If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium [e-mail] or find the link in the episode description. That's therapygecko.supercast.com all right, I have nothing else to say.

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[Lyle]

Every day has a to do list.

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[Lyle]

Help you knock out the rest of it.

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[Lyle]

Best part? They both taste great so make the most out of your morning with a bite of Belvita. Pick up a pack of Belvita at your local store today. This is an iHeart podcast.