“I LIVE IN A HIPPIE TOWN”

Summary

Podcast Summary: Therapy Gecko – “I LIVE IN A HIPPIE TOWN”

Episode Information:

• Title: I LIVE IN A HIPPIE TOWN
• Host: Meg (Featuring callers Fox, Tristan, and Lincoln)
• Release Date: March 30, 2025
• Description: An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing.

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Introduction

In the episode titled “I LIVE IN A HIPPIE TOWN,” hosted by Meg on Therapy Gecko, listeners are taken on an intimate journey through the lives of three unique callers. The episode delves deep into personal struggles, mental health challenges, and the quest for stability amidst unconventional lifestyles. True to the podcast’s whimsical nature, Meg engages her guests with empathy, offering a blend of humor and heartfelt conversation.

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Call 1: Fox – The Wanderer Settling Down in Durango

Time Stamps:

• [02:01] Meg introduces Fox, a long-time listener who has been part of the show since its early days on Reddit five years ago.

Life Journey and Settling in Colorado: Fox shares his nomadic past, including living in vans and traveling across the country for spontaneous adventures. His extensive travels took him from New Jersey to Atlanta, with memorable stops like music festivals and Yellowstone National Park, where an amusing encounter with rangers led to a brush with the law due to open containers and illicit substances.

Quote:

Fox [04:36]: “We got arrested because one of the kids had illicit substances while we were loud and didn't pay for a campsite. It was a close call, but a kind ranger let us off.”

Life in Durango: After experiencing the hustle of Denver and Boulder, Fox found peace in Durango, Colorado. He describes it as a “crazy” town filled with quirky festivals like the River Festival and Dandelion Festival, celebrating everything from maypoles to glitter-covered river floats. The blend of mountainous landscapes and desert vistas provides a serene backdrop for his current life.

Mental Health and Sobriety: Fox discusses his ongoing journey with sobriety, mentioning that he has been sober for four months since a recent breakup. He emphasizes the importance of therapy and medication in his healing process, highlighting the positive impact of Abilify and Wellbutrin on his mental health.

Quote:

Fox [08:08]: “If anybody is struggling with mental health and afraid to go to therapy or a psychiatrist, I highly advise you to just abandon that shame and go for it. Therapy has changed my life.”

Struggles with Relationships: His breakup is fraught with challenges, including dealing with addiction issues within the relationship and the complexities of maintaining a friendship post-breakup.

Community and Stability: Fox expresses his desire for stability, aiming to establish a stable income through his artistic endeavors and potentially expanding into soap-making. Living in a hippie town like Durango has its perks, but it also comes with high living costs, pushing him to seek financial independence.

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Call 2: Tristan – Navigating Life with Autism and Social Challenges

Time Stamps:

• [47:07] Tristan, a middle-aged individual recently diagnosed with autism, joins the conversation.

Diagnosis and Self-Understanding: Tristan discusses his late diagnosis of autism and how it explains his lifelong struggles with social interactions and relating to peers. He feels out of place both with his age group and younger individuals, leading to difficulties in forming meaningful relationships.

Quote:

Tristan [49:07]: “I feel weird. I don't know how to relate to people my age, and when younger people find out how old I am, they're like, 'You could be my mom.'”

Therapeutic Experiences: Tristan shares his experiences with therapy, noting that traditional cognitive behavioral therapy often exacerbates his feelings by making him feel his neurological makeup is flawed.

Social Isolation and Desire for Connection: Despite his desire to connect, Tristan admits to significant social isolation over the past six years, attributing it to anxiety and failed attempts at building deeper friendships.

Meg’s Guidance: Behavioral Activation: Meg introduces Tristan to the concept of behavioral activation, encouraging him to take proactive steps to overcome his social inertia. She emphasizes that action can precede motivation, helping Tristan understand that taking small steps can lead to meaningful change.

Quote:

Meg [57:17]: “You have to push past that little bit of resistance and just go. You'll feel more motivated once you're there.”

Community and Support: Tristan expresses hope in finding support and building friendships, acknowledging the challenges but remaining open to new possibilities.

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Call 3: Lincoln – Transitioning from College to Career in Video Production

Time Stamps:

• [69:53] Lincoln, a soon-to-be college graduate, shares his recent experiences and future aspirations.

Academic and Professional Transition: Lincoln talks about his shift from working at a tyrannical radio station to a paid position in video production. He graduates from the University of Tennessee with a degree in journalism and now seeks stable employment in video production, aiming for in-house roles that offer better benefits and stability.

Quote:

Lincoln [72:19]: “I've applied for jobs all over the country—Washington, Cincinnati, Miami, New York, LA, even Idaho. It's crazy how uncertain life can be.”

Personal Life and Ambitions: He discusses his recent breakup and the uncertainties of post-college life, aiming to achieve the “American Dream” of a stable job, a comfortable home, and a fulfilling personal life. Lincoln also entertains creative aspirations like joining an improv troupe or moving to cities like Chicago for more opportunities.

Reflecting on the American Dream: Lincoln critically examines the notion of the American Dream, recognizing that it has never been a guaranteed path and expressing skepticism about generational stereotypes and expectations.

Quote:

Lincoln [73:19]: “The American dream was never guaranteed to anybody. And the American dream is probably, you know. I gotta stop saying that. I sound like a fucking MAGA crazy person.”

Community and Future Plans: He emphasizes the importance of finding a balance between ambition and personal happiness, contemplating a future that includes both career fulfillment and personal contentment.

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Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Meg serves as a compassionate anchor, guiding each caller through their personal narratives with understanding and encouragement. The overarching themes include:

• Mental Health: The importance of therapy and medication in managing mental health struggles, as highlighted by Fox and Tristan.

• Community and Belonging: Each caller reflects on their sense of belonging—whether it's Fox finding a home in Durango, Tristan seeking meaningful connections, or Lincoln aiming for stability post-college.

• Personal Growth: The episodes underscore the journey of self-discovery and the pursuit of personal goals amidst life's unpredictability.

Final Thoughts: Meg wraps up the episode by expressing gratitude for the shared stories and the sense of community fostered through the podcast. She hints at future episodes potentially featuring live interactions, promising continued support and engagement for her listeners.

Quote:

Meg [84:33]: “I’m glad to keep talking to people. This is chill. This is good. I feel like we’re on bonus time right now just doing this. Thank you guys for listening.”

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Conclusion

“I LIVE IN A HIPPIE TOWN” is a poignant exploration of individual struggles and triumphs, presented through heartfelt conversations. Meg’s ability to connect with her callers and provide a safe space for vulnerability makes this episode a standout. Listeners are left with a renewed sense of empathy and the understanding that everyone’s journey is unique, yet interconnected through shared human experiences.

Transcript

[Lyle]

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[Tristan]

Who's paying for the mattress topper?

[Meg]

You mean the beanbag chair? Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[Paige]

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[Meg]

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[Lyle]

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[Meg]

Lenovo.

[Lyle]

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[Fox]

Hi.

[Meg]

Hey. What's your name?

[Fox]

My name's Meg. I was the person in chat that said I've been trying for five years.

[Meg]

Oh, you've been so you. How long you've been listening to the show for five years. Yeah, it's crazy. It really is crazy to me that. I mean, I remember being on. I started doing this on Reddit like five years ago.

[Fox]

Yeah.

[Meg]

And I was like, well, every year. Every year I'm like, all right, this is the year that, you know, I gotta go do something else. And then it just keeps. People keep. It's. Which is great. It's like amazing. Yeah. Well, I did do the archae. And I don't mean that in the sense of I like. It's. It's extremely cool that people are still here and that we're still doing this.

[Fox]

Oh, yeah. I think everybody just likes to hear about other people's experiences and stuff, you know?

[Meg]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, speaking of which, what's. What. What have your experiences been like?

[Fox]

Oh, dude, I've had a zillion. I have. Literally, I'm like, I've. I've lived in vans and traveled back and forth across the country before. I, like, now I live in the very southwest tip of Colorado. And I've been here for, like, seven years. So I finally have settled. I make a ton of art. I went through. I've been through some crazy shit, too. I went through, like, a house fire, lost everything, completely rebuilt my life. So I've got a million stories. Currently, I am healing from a breakup.

[Meg]

So you've been living at the southern tip of Colorado for seven years?

[Fox]

Yeah, I'm like, right on the border of, like, Utah, New Mexico, Arizona. It's like the four corners and.

[Meg]

Okay, so before that you were running all around and, like, around. Where were you running?

[Fox]

So I am from Jersey, and I have done quite a few trips. Like, I would. I would basically get either invited to an event or just, like, on a whim. I'd have, like a thousand dollars saved up and I'd be like, it, you know what? Let's quit our job and just drive down the coast. And so I've done that a few times. I was like. One of my trips, I drove up from Jersey to upstate New York, met this group of kids, befriended them. They're from Florida. And then drove down to. All the way to, like, Atlanta, Georgia, and, like, hitting music festivals and stuff along the whole way. And then went from there to Yellowstone National Park. That's where we got arrested. And then went to Portland and then went back across the coast again back to the East Coast.

[Meg]

What were you arrested for in Yellowstone? If you want to. You care to share?

[Fox]

Yeah. So it's pretty funny. So we were. We went to Yellowstone. We did not pay for a camping site. We're jackasses. We were like, let's just park here and camp here. And we probably wouldn't have gotten in any trouble except for we were loud. We had beer cans out. We were asleep. When this happened. We got awoken by rangers. They're like, what the are you doing? Not in the camping spot. You guys have open containers everywhere. And one of the kids that we were traveling with was underage, and he had an illicit substance in his hands. Clash, cluster, whatever, clasped to his chest while he was sleeping in a hammock. So he wakes up and they're like, what's in your hand? That's drugs. And we were like, oh, we're not bad kids. These bikers gave it to us because there's a lot of bikers in Yellowstone. And this woman checked my ID and she was like, oh my God, you're from frickin blah blah New Jersey. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, I went to this high school. I was like, oh my gosh, my parents went there. And then she's like, oh my gosh, I know your mom. And like the other ranger was like, we're gonna go and bring you guys to jail right now. And she was like, no, these guys are good kids. They're good kids. We're gonna let you guys go. And they gave us like, providing alcohol to a minor and then it got dropped. Because if you get arrested on federal land, that's a federal charge, you're in big trouble.

[Meg]

So what was it that made you settle in Colorado? And then how has it been being in the same place for seven years after doing all this running around?

[Fox]

It's been awesome. What made me stay here? I mean, first I lived in Denver and Boulder, which are like cities on the eastern side of Colorado. And I was like, this sucks. This isn't really Colorado. There's traffic. There's just like very yuppie culture. And so I eventually came out here. I live in a town called Durango. And it just is awesome. This town is crazy. It's just got weird people in it, man. Like, we have like weird festivals like every two months for random things. Like we've got the River Festival coming up and then after that we got a Dandelion Festival. It's fun time. And yeah, I mean, you drive an hour north and you're going to be in the most beautiful mountains you've ever seen. You drive an hour south, you're going to be in the desert. Like, it's really fun. It's just nature everywhere. It's beautiful. And I live like in a very rural area. It's cool. But there's a college close by, so there's parties.

[Meg]

And you said you're going through a breakup. How long were you with this person for?

[Fox]

I was with him for like a year. But we had been friends for like six years before that.

[Meg]

Are you guys still friends? Or was that kind of. Or was the friendship erosion part of the breakup?

[Fox]

It sucks. It kind of was, but I try still to be friends. But this kid has got so many issues, and it sucks because, like, he's 10 years older than me, and I swear to God, he argues like a high schooler, but, like, it's just insane. He's got. We both had problems with alcohol, and I've been four months sober ever since the breakup, and he just won't stop, and he'll call me drunk and be like, I love you. I'm sorry, and then be like, fuck you five minutes later. So that's that.

[Meg]

And do you live alone?

[Fox]

Yeah, unless you count my two kitty cats.

[Meg]

How is. Yeah, how is your, like, kind of healing process been? Like, what have you been doing?

[Fox]

Dude, it's been fucking awesome. If anybody is struggling with mental health and afraid to go to therapy or a psychiatrist, I highly advise you to just abandon that shame and to just go for it. Because, like, I've been in therapy, and I started taking this thing called Abilify, and I swear to God, it has, like, yeah, man. And I'm on the lowest dose of it, and it has changed my life. Like, I am just. I don't know, man. I got a different way of thinking. It's crazy. One of my friends yesterday was over, and they're like, what. What, did you start taking again? And I told them. They're like, keep doing that, because you're doing fucking awesome. I'm like, thanks.

[Meg]

Interesting.

[Javon]

Yeah.

[Meg]

I'm on a. I've kind of made it my. You know, my mission for, like, this year is I want to find a good, like, SSRI for myself, because I will. Because I. You can't. I thought. Is a bill. Isn't that an ssri? Abilify.

[Fox]

No, no, no. It's.

[Meg]

What is it?

[Fox]

I forget what it's considered, but it's not an ssri. I'm on that. And I'm also on Wellbutrin. Was not an SSRI. Yeah, because whenever I took SSRIs, I felt like. Sorry, I was running water in the background. But whenever I took those, I felt like I just. Like, life was just. I don't know. It was dulled down, you know? And it just. I just felt like instead of feeling happy, I felt nothing.

[Meg]

Right.

[Fox]

So. And I was like, nothing's better than sad, but I want to feel happy.

[Meg]

Yeah. Yeah. It's. I'm. I'm on. I don't know if it's, like, an SSRI or anything, but I'm kind of on this kick where I'm like. I think throughout my life, I've found a lot of meaning and, like, Projects and work and whatnot. But I've been, you know, like, flipping, flopping with, like, you know, mental fog or whatever the fuck. So I think I've kind of tried to accept that it's like, all right. I think whatever's going on is something chemical that cannot be. Well, I mean, I think there is, like. I think there is a strong. Like, you can't just. I don't think there's a magic pill that's gonna, like, make your life awesome. But there might be.

[Fox]

Yeah.

[Meg]

But I have this hope that there's, like.

[Fox]

I'm like, triabilify, bro, because it will. But who knows?

[Meg]

Well, anyway. Anyway. But, yeah, but, well. Well, let me ask you this. What's your name again? Meg. Yeah, Meg, we're cool to just shoot the shit if you want to keep shooting the ship, but is there anything in particular that you called in to want to talk about?

[Fox]

Honestly, like, I'm down to shoot the shit because I've called in a million times when I've had, like, some crazy shit going on in my life and been like, I just want to vent. But right now I'm like, I'm doing good, so.

[Meg]

Excellent. That's excellent.

[Fox]

I can, like, tell. I can give, like, a little brief synopsis of my life.

[Meg]

I've been through a bunch, but where long. What do you. Well, let me. What do you. So you. You. You make art. What do you do for. Do you do that for work?

[Fox]

No, but I do make some money on the side from it, though. I haven't really been selling it lately, but I'm trying to get back into that. Like, I'm gonna try to rent a table at our flea market and stuff. I think I might get into making soap, try to sell some of that.

[Meg]

Cool.

[Fox]

I make sourdough bread. Might try to sell some of that, too, because I live in a very hippie, dippy town where people want to buy that stuff.

[Meg]

Cool. All right. Is it like a. Tell me more about the hippie dippy town. What's hippie and dippy about it?

[Fox]

Dude, it's fucking crazy. So it's like, basically like, one. Like, there's, like, a stretch of street. We've got a main street that's, like, probably, like, eight blocks long. And that's where everything kind of happens in town. And everybody here is just very, like, crunchy granola. People, like, everybody's got their. Like, we've got our little homestead. Like, when everybody was dying for eggs. Like, I was like, I don't have to worry. I know, 1 million people with chickens. Like, I don't know, just everybody's got like little homesteads and stuff. It's very ridiculous. Like I said, festivals for little insignificant things. Everybody's like, let's celebrate dandelions. They have a maypole for that thing. It's like, I don't know if you've ever seen one, but it's a gigantic pole that they attach like a bunch of strings of fabric to it and everybody runs in opposite directions around the pole until the fabric's all wrapped around it so that every year it gets thicker and thicker, but everybody gets all tangled up while they're doing it. It's really cute to watch. And then like for the river one, people go crazy. They cover themselves in like glitter and wear tutus and they decorate all their, their floats. Like, because everybody here, we've got a pretty crazy river. It's got like, it's got rapids that if you were to go through it, like, you need to have like a helmet and be on good, a good boat. But yeah, people will dress up crazy for that. Like paint their faces and shit. And everybody gathers at the riverside and watches people go through the rapids and like cheers them on trying to think. We also have, in the winter, there's like a two week festival that they call Snowdown. It's been going on since the 80s. And again every year it will have a theme. This year's theme was Safari, I think, or something like that. So everybody will dress up crazy. Oh no, it was game board themed. That's like the dumbest theme I've ever heard. But yeah, so everybody will dress up and all of the local businesses and bars and such will host games. There'll be things like, I think there was like a porta potty race or something where people put porta potties on wheels. And then there was like a mattress race where people put mattresses on wheels. People do ski drawing here where that's a horse pulling you on skis and you go over water and see who can't fall. So there's stuff like that.

[Meg]

Have you done a lot of traveling around in the past seven years or did you like, you know, really, really settle into this town?

[Fox]

I've settled into the town, but I've also like checked out stuff outside of it. Like, I live pretty close to Moab, which is a big destination for mountain biking. And I went there over this past fall. It kind of sucks. I went with my ex. That's kind of the catalyst for the breakup. And let's see I like if you go an hour north, there's this town called Ouray. They call it the Switzerland of America. And it is just so beautiful. I spent my birth. Yeah, I spent my birthday there.

[Meg]

It's gorgeous. What's going on in Ouray?

[Fox]

I mean Youray? I don't know how anybody lives there. It's a very tourist destination. So I think everybody kind of lives outside of it in this little teeny tiny town called Ridgeway. I think everybody who works there must live there and they must all travel to your right because I think your A is just all like tourist shops, restaurants, etc. In Ridgeway. I went to a hot spring over there. That's something I love. I love hot water. And so I went to a hot spring over there and it's an. It was a nudity allowed one. And I have never seen as many like 60 year old penises in my life.

[Meg]

Nice. Very good.

[Fox]

Coming straight at you as soon as you walk in.

[Meg]

So what's next for you, Meg, in your life journey? Like what do you, what do you hope to do after you know your. Your. I guess I don't know if I don't know how healing works. Are you, do you, are. Do you, do you would magically label yourself healed or is it like, you know, what's, what's, what's next in your universe?

[Fox]

I think right now I'm sort of kind of healed because I still answer the phone calls, you know. But what's next for me is making a cup of coffee and I'm gonna go do hair all day. And then what's really next for me? I have zero clue what, what this life has for me because lately it's been kind of a struggle financially. But hopefully life will give me the clientele that I need to be making enough money because this town is very expensive to live in. So really right now my journey is just to find stability without the help of another person.

[Meg]

Yeah. I mean, good luck on that, Meg.

[Fox]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Do you think I'm good? I don't know why. I don't know why. When that's. You know what is so annoying is I meant what I said just now, but when I said it, it sounded like I was being sarcastic, didn't it?

[Fox]

Nah, man, I get it. I fucking I. People constantly think I'm being a dick because I'm from New Jersey and I'm very sarcastic and nobody here pick up on it because they're like all very nice.

[Meg]

I don't know what like in my, like in my brain I was like. My brains, my brain said, oh, good luck, Meg. But my. What came out of my mouth was, well, good luck.

[Fox]

You're like, good luck.

[Meg]

Maybe it's. Maybe it's a family because it's a Family Guy or something. Just the way you say Meg.

[Fox]

Oh, my God.

[Meg]

No, good, good. You hate Family Guy.

[Fox]

Yeah, I can't help it, bro. I just do.

[Meg]

Why do you hate family, dude?

[Fox]

I don't know. It's because, like, I mean, I went. I graduated high school in 2009. I feel like we're probably similar age. I'm 33, so it was, like, super popular in school, and everybody was just always saying quotes from it, and I was like, I can't do another. I can't. Like, I don't know. I just don't think their jokes are that funny. Well, same thing with South Park. Like, I grew up.

[Meg]

You hate. Okay, okay. Hating Family Guy is one thing, but south park is like, you know, it's a totally different.

[Fox]

Pretty funny sometimes show.

[Meg]

Yeah, it's a very well written, and it's very. The jokes are more like.

[Fox]

There's a few that. I did a great job.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Fox]

I like the one season where it starts off where. Where Butters is being Professor Chaos, and then they turn him into the dog.

[Meg]

Well, good luck, Meg. Try not to. I don't know. I don't have. I don't. I wish you sincere luck. What's the name of this youray? I'm gonna check that out.

[Fox]

Oh, no, no. Durango is where I live, but youray is also awesome. And your A is spelled O U r a Y. Some people say hooray. I don't know if what the fuck is the right pronunciation, but yeah, look it up. You should visit sometime. Like, I've always wanted to see you live, but you've never come anywhere close to me. Like, I go to.

[Meg]

I go to. I go to Denver pretty much every year.

[Fox]

Yeah, I know, but Denver is like eight hours, dude. Like, I'm closer. I'm in the southwest, so I'm closer to Santa Fe and Albuquerque. If either of those. If you ever hit either of those, I will be there. Like, swim. I'll be in there, like, somewhere.

[Meg]

Yeah. Okay, cool. I'm. I'll consider doing that. I'll consider doing that. I like Santa Fe. I like the. They have the original Meow Meow. Yeah. Yeah.

[Fox]

It's so much fun. I went there, dude, and I like. Did you know that, like, have you gone through the exhibit?

[Meg]

I've been to a lot of them, but I've never been to the one in Santa Fe.

[Tristan]

Oh, dang.

[Fox]

Well, they have like, the exhibit. Part of it is like a 90s house or whatever, and they also have like, concerts there. I went to see a concert there. Me and my friend were with a group of people. We were like, yo, these people suck. Let's just leave and go to the exhibit. And like, we went in there and tried on all the clothes and stuff that were like in. In these bedrooms and stuff in the fake house. And we eventually got kicked out for it. They were like, you need to stop. Get out of here.

[Meg]

Meg, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?

[Fox]

Don't be scared of facing your mental health challenges, guys. And I hope that everybody has a really, really nice day and a good start to your weekend.

[Meg]

Have a good night, Meg.

[Fox]

Yeah, no, dude, this is. You said night. Haha. Have a nice day.

[Meg]

Oh, shit, sorry. It could be day or night, depending on I don't know where anyone is in the world. Well, I guess I do. I know where that she is because she told me. But it could be day, it could be night. Every. It's. It's whatever time you decide it is.

[Paige]

Hello.

[Meg]

Hey, what's up? What's your name?

[Paige]

I'm Tristan.

[Meg]

What's up, Tristan? How's life, Tristan? What's going on with you?

[Paige]

I am currently at work.

[Meg]

What do you do for work?

[Paige]

I'm an electrician.

[Meg]

You're an electrician? I like that. It's a very, very real job.

[Paige]

It is very real. It doesn't feel like I'm sitting and doing nothing all day.

[Meg]

Yeah, that's good. You're doing valuable. That's one of the job. An electrician. That's one of those jobs that AI can't replace, right? You think?

[Paige]

I don't think so. I mean, at least, you know, the physical work portion of it. I guess computers have been, like, planning buildings for a little while, but I don't know. Yeah, physical work, it can't really be done. At least for a while.

[Meg]

Listen, it's okay if you just wanted to shoot the shit and whatever, but is there anything in particular you want to talk about today?

[Paige]

I don't know. I mean, honestly, I kind of wanted to just, like, give you a compliment. Like the. I've been watching since, like, the pandemic and like when you started and I feel like you. You kind of have. Instead of just using the show as like, a way to like, learn about other people, I think you've kind of, like, used it as your outlet as well. And I think a lot of people.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Are like, connecting to you a lot more recently, at least. I am, like, hearing your. You know, how you go through it and you actually, like, tell us about it, which is. It's helpful to hear, you know.

[Meg]

Okay, good. I'm glad. I'm glad to hear. It's helpful to hear because I have been doing that more often. And then in my off time, I wonder to myself if it's a good idea. And the impetus behind it is A, it just feels cathartic to like, have a. You know, like, I guess to publicly share your thoughts and life. And then B, is. I assume it's helpful for other people to hear in this, you know, what's going on.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Everyone's.

[Lincoln]

Yeah.

[Meg]

But then I won. It's funny. I wonder, in my own life, I'm like, am I in a loop of some kind where I'm solidifying stories about myself? I've even talked about this, I think. Yeah.

[Paige]

Yeah, I've heard you. You say, like, the more you talk about things, are you, like, creating this image of yourself that, like, isn't actually real?

[Meg]

Well, no. Well, no, not. Not that. Not that. More like. Like, if I talk about, like, if you're. If you're constantly talking about, like, being depressed, you. I think you create. Your brain just creates this story, right. That you're depressed, and then that's a loop.

[Paige]

Yeah. For real.

[Meg]

I don't know where I've landed on that, but I'm happy that it's resonating with. And maybe I have other things I'd like to talk about besides just being depressed, I guess.

[Paige]

I don't think that that's all you.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Paige]

That's all you, like, talk about. You definitely don't just, like, talk about that, but I. I think just, you know, using it as, like, more of a way to not only hear about other people's things, but, you know, tell your. Your stories, whether they're positive or negative. You know, like, talking about, like, your experiences in college or giving advice about, like, staying at home, like, you know, as long as you can so you can save up money. Like, those are, like, good pieces of advice. Like.

[Meg]

Okay, cool.

[Paige]

And I think that. Yeah. No, I. I'm just. You're. You're. You're the right person to do this is. Is kind of my compliment.

[Meg]

Okay. Thanks, man. That. What's your name?

[Paige]

Kristen.

[Meg]

Chris. Tristan or Tristan or Kristen.

[Paige]

Kristen.

[Meg]

T. With the T. Tristan. Thanks, Tristan. That actually means A lot to me. I really. I appreciate that. Okay. And I know. I get what you're saying, so. Okay. Yeah, I. I'm gonna start doing that more. Trying to use my personal experience, just, you know, life. I mean, that's what I like about the show, is other people's, like, lived experience. So I guess I'll keep. I'll keep sharing, I think.

[Paige]

Yeah. I mean, I think that's what we all. We all kind of like about it, too. At least I think so. You know.

[Meg]

What's going on with you, Tristan? How's life?

[Paige]

Life's pretty good. I've been in a pretty. Pretty good relationship for the last, like, year and Couple months. I just. We just got back from Brazil.

[Meg]

Oh, what?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Go ahead. I'll let you finish before you go ahead. I'm gonna let. I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait for a nice, long silence before I get in there.

[Paige]

All right. Yeah, we just. We just got back from Brazil. We went to Carnival in. In Rio. It was freaking. It was sick.

[Meg]

Oh, Carnival is on my list. What was. What was up? How was it?

[Paige]

It's great, man. Rio is, like, one of the most crazy places. Like, it's so beautiful. Like, you're sitting on the beach and you just, like, turn around and there's just huge mountains everywhere and. And it's just. It's so nice. And, like, the people are also very nice. I. I can't speak Portuguese, but my girlfriend is from Brazil. So you kind of just like. She kind of just led me around and, you know, talking to people and. Yeah, it's. It's a. Brazilian people have a lot of fun. That's what I'll say.

[Meg]

Cool. Cool.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Yeah. That fucking rocks. Well, I've heard Carnival is like. Like, there's, like, a million fucking people in the streets and, like, a big DJ and, like, all that stuff.

[Paige]

Yeah, I mean, there's literally, like, parties every. Everywhere you go, there's just like, some random party in the street going on and just, like, a ton of music. There's like, parade stuff and. Yeah, it's. It's wild.

[Meg]

And where do you. Where are you when you're not in Brazil?

[Paige]

I'm in the Boston area.

[Meg]

Pretty good. Pretty good. You sound like your life is good.

[Paige]

Recently, it's been. It's been surprisingly very good.

[Meg]

Why surprisingly?

[Paige]

I don't know. I guess I kind of have that, like. Like, imposter, like, all this good stuff shouldn't really be happening type of thing.

[Meg]

Yeah, sure, sure. Why? Well, why has it been Good.

[Paige]

I don't know. Just happy with my relationship. My job's been pretty, like, not stressful. And the only. The only thing stressful is like, my car is like, kind of a piece of shit. So not really that. That bad of a problem to have.

[Meg]

Yeah. Yeah. I. I was in a Airbnb and laundry machine. I was in. Yeah. I was in Japan for two months, and the first month I was there, I was really, really happy. I was very peaceful. And I was in the Airbnb and the laundry machine started leaking. The Airbnb flooded with water.

[Paige]

Oh, boy.

[Meg]

And I was cleaning up the water and I was thinking to my. It was a very peaceful time. And I was thinking to myself, I'm so fucking happy right now that the current worst problem in my life is that my laundry machine is leaking. That's. That's a real. I. That, that. That piece. That. The. The. That piece is. Now, I. I think I left that piece in Japan, but in that moment, I remember feeling that way. So. Yeah, it's good.

[Paige]

It's good to have, like, that perspective on it, especially when, like, when you do end up having bigger problems. You kind of like wish back to the times that you. The only problem was that your laundry unit was flooding your house or.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Paige]

You know, your car sucks.

[Meg]

Yeah. But you get. I mean, any. I think you can kind of do that anytime. You know, like, whatever your fucking problem is, you can always be like, well, this is a better problem than getting my leg cut off. That's happening to people.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Meg]

In places. You know, it's all. It's all. It's all relative, I guess. It's all relative. What else was I gonna say to you? Tristan? Tristan with a T. Is there anything that you want to talk about while we're chilling?

[Paige]

I don't know, man.

[Lincoln]

How's.

[Paige]

How's working out going? How's doing your push ups?

[Meg]

I'm still working out. I'm still doing. You know, maybe I'll try to do some push ups after I get off the phone with you. I got up to 25. I was able to do 25 push ups in a row. Where is my award? I thought I would get a trophy or a. Or a magnet or something. Still hasn't come.

[Paige]

It's. It's. Well, there was a point where you thought that you couldn't do 25 push ups, and now you can do 25 push ups.

[Meg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paige]

That's your reward.

[Meg]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to get back to the weight that I was before I started Being a gecko. It's fun. Yeah. It's every day feels very long to me. So if I haven't gone to the gym in a while, it'll feel like I haven't done it in like a month. But the gym's great. I was. Yeah, about a year ago, I was like, lifting weights and I was like, I should never not do this. This is great.

[Paige]

I wish that I had that. That mindset about lifting weights.

[Meg]

Well, I, you know, I mean that mindset. Only that mindset came while I was doing it. I don't. I didn't have. I wasn't like, on the couch. Like, I should never not lift. Well when I'm on the couch. I was like, I should never leave this position, you know?

[Paige]

Yeah, yeah, I get you.

[Meg]

How'd you meet your Brazilian girlfriend?

[Paige]

Oh, Tinder.

[Meg]

Tinder. In. In Tinder in Boston.

[Paige]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lincoln]

She.

[Paige]

She moved up here a little bit before we met. Just by herself, which is crazy to do.

[Meg]

That's cool.

[Paige]

But what she did. Yeah.

[Meg]

Do people still. I feel like Tinder was popular when I was like, in college. I feel like now everyone, like the grown up version is like hinge or something like that.

[Paige]

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I wasn't. I don't think I was necessarily trying to get into relationship being on Tinder though. But it ended up happening that way. But yeah, I mean. Sorry, go ahead.

[Meg]

I was just mumbling. I have nothing to say.

[Paige]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Tinder is the more like college age thing to do, I guess. I mean, I'm 22, so I'm not. I'm not out of that phase, technically.

[Meg]

Oh, sheet. That's cool. What are you gonna do with the rest of your life?

[Paige]

I don't know. Try to make enough money to have a house maybe.

[Meg]

Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Paige]

I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but we'll try.

[Meg]

What do you. What are you planning to do to make money?

[Paige]

My job. Be an electrician, I guess.

[Meg]

Oh, yes, sorry, I forgot you said you were an electrician. That's a very real job.

[Paige]

Yeah, it's real. I hope that I can make more. More money doing it. Not that it's bad, but.

[Meg]

Did you go to trade school?

[Paige]

Yeah, I did like night school. Like, I started out of high school when I was 18 and did like work during the week and then night school like twice a week for four years.

[Meg]

I have a lot of respect for you.

[Paige]

Oh, thank you.

[Meg]

I really do. I really do. You have. You Went to. You learned a skill. You have a. You have a. You are deeply, sincerely contributing to society with a skill that you put in the time and effort to learn.

[Paige]

Yeah, that. That is what happened. That's pretty crazy to hear it put like that.

[Meg]

Yeah. I mean, that's how you should think of it. You learned. Yeah, I mean, you know. You know, you don't work. You don't like. You don't like. Right. Copy for the Axe Body Spray Instagram. You know what I mean? You, like, know how to do something?

[Paige]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I wire a bunch of different stuff, get people's lights working.

[Meg]

Yeah, they need that shit.

[Paige]

Yeah, man.

[Meg]

You know, when the apocalypse happens, whoever runs the Axe Body Spray Instagram is fucked. They're not getting on the rocket to the moon. When everything goes astray, you. I don't know if any of us are. I don't know if really any of us are getting on the rocket.

[Paige]

We're not gonna get us.

[Meg]

No, I don't. I don't think we're getting on the rocket, but I think you have a. You have a. You have a. You have a decent shot at getting on. I don't know how many rockets there'll be, but you have at least. You have at least a better shot at getting on the rocket than the. Yeah. Like someone who, you know, or like me or, you know, some. Someone who. Yeah. Does.

[Paige]

Does the X body spray.

[Meg]

The Axe body spray thing. Yeah. Yeah. So that's good. You're. You're. Yeah. I mean, real. You're a real. You're very. You should be proud of who you are. I mean that.

[Paige]

Thanks, man. I appreciate that. My. Definitely sucks sometimes doing this. This stuff.

[Meg]

Well, I'm sure the.

[Paige]

A lot of the guys in this are, like, the worst people you'll ever meet in your entire life. Like, so miserable and, like, just, like, trying to die faster. Like, drinking as much as possible and smoking, like, 10 cigarettes at a time.

[Meg]

I don't know, you know, I. I guess. Yeah, I can see how that happens. I can absolutely see how that happens. I hope that you. I meant everything I said about how I. You should be proud of what you do. It's a hard thing, but I hope you have a plan for how you don't end up being that wanting to die. Like, what? Like some form of, I guess, diversification of Lifestock. I don't know how you do. How do you. I mean, that's what I'm on right now is I'm like, okay, like, you. Like, I assume you Work with a lot of people who are, like, you know, older and want to die sooner, you know? Oh, you need to.

[Paige]

I used to. Yeah.

[Meg]

Okay. So not. But not so much anymore.

[Paige]

No. I'm with. I. I just work for one guy, so it's just me and him, and I'm kind of like. I'm at work right now. I'm not. I'm on my, like, lunch break, but I'm mostly by myself lately, so I'm kind of just, like, doing my own thing so I don't have to deal with those people anymore. But the first, like, two years of being in this, all I saw was, like, guys who were like, oh, don't do this shit until you're 40 years old. You're gonna want to die. You know, that type of attitude, like, all the time. It's like, yeah. Oh, my God. So I think. I mean, the plan, at least with, you know, either the company I'm at or some other company is like, try to get into, like, more like project management so I'm not in the field and, like, destroying my body.

[Meg]

Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. No, though. I mean, it's funny. I understand why you. Why it was miserable to be around those people, but I. You know, it sounds like it was, like, good to have to be around those people, actually. Yeah.

[Paige]

I mean, it's definitely. It was definitely, like, a. Learning, like, what not to do.

[Meg]

Right? Like, no, if, like, a Do. If, like, an old guy says, like, don't fucking do this, I think it probably makes sense to listen to them.

[Paige]

Yeah, probably like an old miserable guy.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I'm like, want to not do.

[Meg]

Yeah. I mean, I'm 27. You're 22.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Meg]

I'm always thinking about, like, I feel. I feel older for the. I know, 27. I feel. I feel, like, older for the first time in a. In a minute. And I'm like, okay, I've. I never thought. I didn't think I would be 27. I thought I would be. I thought I would just. I thought I would just explode. Not that I would, like, not like, oh, I'm not gonna make it, or, oh, I'm gonna. Like, what? I just thought, like, I didn't. I kind of picked a certain time period where I just didn't believe the time existed beyond that. Then now the time has existed beyond that. And I'm like, okay, I now have confirmation that that will continue to happen. What can I do to best respond to the inevitable notion that time will continue? We're in good spots to do it. I think. Yeah, it's good. I think I have to be aware of that. The time will actually continue. And how do you brace yourself for the continuation of time? I'm probably giving a ton of people a heart attack by talking about all this, but it's what's been on.

[Paige]

Yeah, maybe you. Yeah, time. Time is fucking always going. And it's crazy because, I mean, I. I remember being in high school like it was fucking yesterday. And now I'm an adult and I live in an apartment that I pay rent for, which is weird.

[Meg]

Do you know how to. Can you. Can you fix an Xbox if it's broken?

[Paige]

No.

[Meg]

You gotta go back to.

[Paige]

I. I only know.

[Meg]

I only know.

[Paige]

Yeah, maybe. I mean, I'm not like. Like a. Like a tech, like building computers. Electrician. I'm like, you know, give you an outlet in the wall or like put up a light or something. Type of electrician.

[Meg]

Tristan is. Before we go, is there any thing else that I can do to make this conversation or to make this phone call a better experience for you?

[Paige]

No, this is. This has been pretty great, Lyle. You're. You're the best dude.

[Meg]

Oh, thank you, Trist. Thank you, Tristan. I'm trying. I'm trying my absolute hardest. Thank you for. For being. Thank you for being alive. Thank you for your compliments. Thank you for your. For electricity.

[Paige]

You're welcome. You're welcome. All right.

[Meg]

I'll see you around the universe, Tristan. Good luck.

[Paige]

All right. Thanks, Lyle.

[Meg]

Okay. Bye, man.

[Paige]

Bye. Bye.

[Unknown]

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[Lyle]

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[Javon]

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[Meg]

Hi, this is Javon, your blinds.com design consultant. Oh wow, a real person. Yep. I'm here to help with everything from selecting the perfect window treatments to. Well, I've got a complicated project. No problem. We make the complex simple. I can even help schedule a professional measuring install. I didn't realize you did that. We can also send you samples fast and free. Wow. I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home, but scheduling is always a nightmare. Notwithblinds.com, we're on your schedule. And there's no haggling pressure or hidden fees either.

[Ryan]

Hmm.

[Meg]

I just might have to do more. Whatever you need. How about you tell me what you had in mind? Okay then. So the first room we're looking at is for guests coming over. And I'm thinking of something.

[Ryan]

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[Meg]

Fly. Hi. What's up? What's your name? Hello.

[Fox]

Hi.

[Meg]

Hey, my name is.

[Tristan]

My name is going to be Sock today, Fox. Sock. No. S, O, C, K. Sock F. Okay.

[Meg]

Well, what's up, Falk? How you doing?

[Tristan]

Okay. You didn't hear me Anyway, I'm surprised. I don't know. Hi. So I'm feeling really anxious because I really actually wasn't expecting to get through this is.

[Meg]

Well, I don't really know what name you were trying to give me, so I'm gonna call you Fox. Okay, that's fine. This is easily gonna be one of the lowest stakes things that you will do with your life. So there's no reason to be anxious. We'll just chit chat. We'll just talk. You know, there's no. Yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing to be to be worried about. There's no way to fail.

[Tristan]

No, I know. I know. It's just you don't have very many opportunities to do something like this, so.

[Meg]

Well, what's up, Fox? What's going on with you?

[Tristan]

I'm gonna take a drink. Really quick.

[Meg]

Take a drink. Do you mean, like, you're. Are you taking a shot or like you're having some water?

[Tristan]

No, just some water. Just water? Yeah. Because my mouth is feeling dry.

[Meg]

What's up?

[Tristan]

Okay, well, so I'm old. Like, I'm. I'm in my 40s.

[Meg]

Okay.

[Tristan]

And I just found out last year that I'm autistic.

[Meg]

Okay.

[Tristan]

Which makes sense. It makes a lot of sense. But I get I. The things that I'm interested in. Like, stuff like watching Twitch and, you know, trying to stay away from Instagram as much as possible for mental health reasons, but also kind of keeping up with what's going on, you know? And I like music that young people like, and I am single. I don't have kids, and I don't have any desire to have kids. And so, I don't know, I just feel weird. Like I don't know how to relate to people my age. And then if I am, like, relating to someone younger, once they find out how old I am, they're kind of like. Kind of like, you could be my mom or, you know, something like that. So.

[Meg]

Interesting. I have a lot of thoughts about this. First of all, I actually want to say, is this something you've ever talked to an actual therapist about?

[Tristan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Meg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do. What do people say? What do people say?

[Tristan]

Well, the problem is that all of these things I told you about seeming younger and having interests like that, that is a big sign of autism and women who got missed as kids, you know. And so the problem is that there's not a lot of knowledge, even among therapists about it, about adults because, you know, no one ever really paid attention to adults that didn't fit these spelled out versions of what autism should look like. So this is, you probably have heard this is happening a lot to people, older people getting diagnosed, but yeah, I, they just don't know. And it actually ended up being harmful. I, I, this is actually the first time that I'm not in therapy for many, many years, like years and years and years, and I feel better than I ever have, so. And yeah, and it's because, because like, normal types of therapy can be harmful for people with autism because it's basically like even cognitive behavioral therapy. A lot of times we like trying to explain it, but like, our brain works a certain way and in those type of therapies, if we're not like completely clicking with it and it working for us, we get more of the come off as not doing it, you know, or not not actually doing the work or whatever. But really inside we feel like. You're telling me the way my brain works is wrong and I don't have control of that. Does that make sense?

[Meg]

Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. Well, so, I mean, listen, here's the thing. I actually, I mean, fuck, man. I have, I have. If you want to dive into it, I have like, thoughts. I don't know if they're, I don't know if they're heart there might be harmful. I was talking to my therap, I was talking to my therapist. He was like, he was like, I don't be harmful just in the sense that, like, I don't fucking know what I'm doing. I just, this is just my thoughts as a, as a individual. If you want my.

[Tristan]

That's not what I meant at all. That's not what I meant at all. I absolutely want your perspective for sure.

[Meg]

All right. What I mean is. Oh, no, no, no, no. By the way, I just want. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm, I'm gathering that. Not based off anything you said, just based off of the fact that, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm a lizard guy on a podcast. But. Well, let's talk about this, because you said a bunch of things that I thought were kind of interesting. Is that so you have trouble relating to other people your age because of your Interests and because you feel like your lifestyle is not exactly similar to what is traditionally expected of other people around your age, Right?

[Tristan]

Yeah, not at all. Like, not even close.

[Meg]

Yeah, well, I guess, let me ask you that. When you are. When you are, like, meeting people, right? Like, through what means typically, are you meeting people.

[Tristan]

In the last five or six years? I'm just not meeting people.

[Meg]

Do you desire to meet people?

[Tristan]

Yes, absolutely.

[Meg]

Okay, great. Yeah. So why haven't you been trying to do it over the past six years?

[Tristan]

I get in my head that, okay, yeah, I'm excited. I'm going to go do this, and then when it. The time comes, I just kind of freeze up and I don't do it. I don't go. And so I end up just staying home a lot. And then. Then you just get in the habit of that where you're used to, like. I'm used to not leaving the house sometimes for two weeks because I'll get my groceries delivered instacart, and then I just stick to myself. But the times that I have tried to build closer relationships with people, it ended up just being a lot more superficial of a friendship than what I thought I had. And so, like, you know, I was expecting someone to be there for me because they say, you know, you're family to me if you ever need anything. But then I needed something and they weren't there for me.

[Meg]

Yeah, yeah, you kind of build like, yeah, yeah, sorry, go ahead and. Go ahead.

[Tristan]

No, say. But when that happened, I just was, like. It was almost like a breakup. Like, I sent them a text and I said, I'm sorry, I can't be friends with you anymore. And I explained why. And I never heard back from them. I. They're my neighbor, so I see them occasionally, but we just act like. We act like we don't see what's going on around us. And we were friends for over a year and talked every day. So.

[Meg]

So, like, when you're. When you're getting amped up to go out, leave your house and do some shit, what. What do you. When was the last time you were amped up to leave your house and go do some shit? And then, like, what was it?

[Tristan]

Well, what do you define as amped up?

[Meg]

Is that not what. You know, what you. Is that not what you said, where you were like, all right, I'm excited to do something, and then when the time comes at his door.

[Tristan]

I meant for, like, looking at, like, groups, for common interests and stuff.

[Meg]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, when you got amped up to look at it, to go to a thing. What was the thing?

[Tristan]

It was. This is so silly. It was a knitting group.

[Meg]

Cool.

[Tristan]

Which does sound like something people my age do. But it's also a very young thing too. Like, everyone does it. Not everyone, but you know what I mean? All ages.

[Meg]

So again, I'll. I'm just gonna pull from my lived experience with this stu. And this is something I've been kind of on recently, is that a lot of the time I'm trying to come to a realization and this is like. Like an epiphany that I gotta kind of reach over and over and over again and in my life, which is that, like the. The. The action kind of precedes the motivation. You know what I mean?

[Tristan]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Yeah. Like, I've been trying to go out and do, like. I'm trying to go out and do fucking, like, open mics and do shit or whatever. And I'll be like, about to go do something or like about to try to write something or whatever the fuck. And I'll just get like, super in my head and crazy about it. And then, yeah, just kind of force is the wrong word because it's actually not a force. It's just like a flow. Then I just go and do it. I get up there and I do the thing. And then after doing it, you realize the good. The good feeling comes after you do it. So there's a little bit of a. I think a thing where you have to push to just fucking, like, do it first. And then once you're there and you'll actually feel more motivated and you'll feel excited once you're fucking there, but you're not going to. But it's like, yeah, of course, if you've been in your house for two weeks and then you try to go to a thing, there's going to be, like, resistance. Yeah. And weirdly, I think if you, like, accept the resistance, just move and push past the resistance and you just go. You're like, oh, this was sick. You know, but you got to get past that little bit of. It's worth getting past that little bit of resistance. I suppose that's just from my own personal experience is every time I've pushed past a little bit of resistance, like, I've. I've. I've taken my little gecko out, like, IRL filming equipment somewhere and yeah, setting it up and been like, what the fuck? This is not gonna go well. And then I set it up and then it goes well, and then I'm like, okay, I just needed to. I'm glad I pushed past the resistance. So, I mean, I guess is how it's kind of been working for me lately, I think.

[Tristan]

Yeah, no, I totally understand that. That's behavioral activation. That's.

[Meg]

I didn't know. I didn't know there was a goddamn word for it. I thought I was just. Yeah, fuck it. I didn't know there was a behavioral activation.

[Tristan]

Say, behavioral activation is actually a very helpful. At least for me, it's very helpful.

[Meg]

Behavioral activation.

[Tristan]

It's just a matter of doing it. It's a matter of just doing it, isn't it?

[Meg]

So, you know what sends me into a goddamn existential crisis is the fact that everything that I think I'm, like, discovering about myself is like this. There's ever every. Every thought I've ever had. There's a fucking textbook to describe. There's some textbook that has a fucking thing to describe it anyway.

[Tristan]

I think that's called getting older and learning more about things you didn't know about previously.

[Meg]

Yeah, but, yeah, go to the. Go to the goddamn knitting group.

[Tristan]

Yeah, I, I, I definitely gonna make that happen. But I guess the part that I. That's bothered me is the fact of who I relate to and, you know, the things that I'm interested in. Aside from that, I mean, I, I'm not gonna make that my entire life, but I do want support in my life, you know?

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Tristan]

Like, I want to make friends. I want to. That kind of thing. And so I guess I just. I just don't know how, like, in my head, I'm in my 30s, my early 30s. And then when people find out how old I am, it's kind of like, I guess, an ick. I don't know.

[Meg]

Then just. I don't know, man. I think just keep being. Keep being whatever age you are in your head, you know?

[Tristan]

Yeah.

[Meg]

What's the. What's the point of succumbing to other people's kind of idea of what your life is like? I mean, also. Also, I think there's a thing to be said again of, like, you know, if you want to make friends and have a community and do all this shit, you got to go. You got to go first. That's what I. Again, that's what I'm learning in my own life, is you got to go first.

[Tristan]

Yeah.

[Meg]

You got to be the one to. You show up at the knitting group, you meet a bunch of friends, and then you go, hey, I'm actually gonna do another knitting group on fucking Tuesdays. And we're gonna do it at my house. And at least 5 of the people at the fucking knitting group would be like, alright. And then all of a sudden you got all these knitting friends and then all of a sudden you're like, oh, I feel completely different than I did six weeks ago because I fucking took a shot and didn't wait around for, you know, life to come find me. And I did something small and it fucking, you know, change changed, changed. But I mean, that's, that's. I think the big trap that you can get into is kind of waiting for these things to find you without real. I'm, by the way, I just really. None of this is advice. This is all, again, just me reiterating my own learned experience to myself. You know, just. Yeah, fucking. You got to go first. You just got to go first.

[Tristan]

Yeah. I mean, it's pretty much common sense. I mean, it's like. It's like diet and exercise where you know what you need to do, you know what's going to require. You just got to make yourself do it. And that's sometimes the hardest part.

[Meg]

Yeah, knitting's cool. I wish I had something. I wish I had something funny. I feel like I. You know what I've been thinking about a lot is I think when I. This podcast is listed as a comedy philosophy podcast. And I'm realizing I'm like, it's been. I'm a little bit better at it, I think when I'm outside, I'm not. I don't feel very funny in a room alone by myself. But I'll be like, man, I've done. It's been about 70 minutes. I haven't said one fucking funny thing anyway.

[Tristan]

I mean, when you start talking about real life, you know, real life can be serious. I don't know, but I mean, maybe. So maybe you need to specify the kind of conversations you're looking to have.

[Meg]

That's the thing though, is I. Yeah, but that's the thing is if every. I like having those. But if every conversation was like, I diarrheaed on my friend's balls, that would be. I think I get bored of that. I like. I like talking about real life, but not all the time. I don't know. I'm crazy. Anyway. What's your name again?

[Tristan]

No, I get it, I get it. Fuck.

[Meg]

Fox. Fuck.

[Tristan]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Tristan]

Just. Thank you. This was fun.

[Meg]

Thanks for joining me on the Gecko show. And I'll see You. I'll see you at the knitting group. Maybe I'll show up. Actually, I probably won't because I don't.

[Tristan]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Know how to knit, but I hope you go.

[Tristan]

I think it would be kind of difficult with those big fingers anyway, so.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Yeah. Okay. Well, have a good.

[Tristan]

All right.

[Meg]

Go to the knitting. Go to the knitting club.

[Tristan]

Okay, thank you.

[Meg]

Okay. Bye, Fox.

[Tristan]

Bye.

[Meg]

It sounds. I don't know. There's so much. Sometimes I. Sometimes I'm like, oh, I gotta. You know, Sometimes I'm like, oh, fuck. I'm just gonna. It's all over. There's no hope. This is depressing. Sometimes I'm like, ah, fuck. There's no hope. It's all over. We're done. We're finished. And then you. But those are thought. This is the thing. Those are thoughts that you have when you're alone in your house in your underwear. Right. Those are thoughts you have when you're alone in your house in your underwear. And then you find there's strength to. All right, I'm gonna go to fucking knitting club. You're at knitting club and you're like, oh, this cross stitch. That's interesting. Oh, look, this person made a bunny. Maybe if I keep going, I can make a bunny. And then all of a sudden, you don't want to kill yourself. I was talking to my friend on the phone. I'm sure I have said this on the podcast already, but I don't care. I'm gonna say it again, even if I have. I was talking to my friend on the phone. I was telling him about my existential crisis, and he was like. He said the most genius thing to me. Made a lot of sense. He was like, talking about his life, and he's like, yeah, me and my friends, we do trivia every Monday. That's fun. Maybe do something like that. And he was like. And then he said, you can't kill yourself if you have trivia on Mondays. And I was like, that's genius. How do I. How do I meta. What is. What is met? Like trivia on Mondays as a metaphor, right? Like, how do I create trivia on Mondays in my life? That's what I'm about. So, yeah, go to the knitting club. Can't kill yourself if you get. If you got Knitting Club on Mondays.

[Lyle]

You know, when the world gets a little crazy and everything is moving too fast, don't you just wish you could get away from all of it for a while? Well, that's exactly what the all new 2025 Nissan Murano can do for you. And to be clear, you don't even have to go anywhere. The Murano is the getaway. It was designed from the ground up to be a refuge from the daily grind. I mean, it has a Bose premium sound system which can play your favorite, most relaxing music. And there's nothing like a world class audio system to just transport you to a better headspace. Then there's the Murano's massaging leather appointed seats. Yeah, massaging seats. Talk about melting away your stress. So could getting stuck in traffic become your happy place? I don't know. It sounds like it could in the all new Murano. You should probably check one out for yourself. You gotta drive the all new 2025 Nissan Murano today. Bows and massaging leather appointed seats are.

[Javon]

Optional features hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Spring is in full swing, so take some time for self care this spring. Now through April 22, buy two self care items and save $2. Shop in store or online for self care essentials like Tom's Toothpaste Soft Soap, Liquid Hand Soap, Colgate Optic White Toothpaste and Colgate Total toothpaste. And save $2 when you buy two participating items. Offer ends April 22. Promotions may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Ryan]

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[Meg]

Struggling to get out of bed? It might be time for an upgrade. Lisa makes exceptionally comfortable mattresses designed for every body and budget. But what truly sets them apart is.

[Unknown]

Their commitment to giving back.

[Meg]

Since 2015, they've donated over 41,000 mattresses nationwide wide, elevate your sleep and your space with Lisa. Go to Lisa.com for 20% off their award winning mattresses, plus an extra $50 off with promo code iHEART. That's Le.com promo code iHEART for an extra $50 off from Lincoln. Hello.

[Lincoln]

Hello.

[Meg]

How's it going? How's life? What you up to?

[Lincoln]

You know, I just came back from a real therapy, so that, that was pretty sick. I've been going through a breakup, which sucks. But you know, bro, we're out here, we're chilling, we're doing all right.

[Meg]

What's, what does it mean to be out there like you're out like you're back dating or you're out here like you're still alive, you're still doing it.

[Lincoln]

You know, it's a weird, it's a weird point. I'm actually about to graduate college, you know, so it's weird, you know, going through a breakup, but, you know, you're only gonna see the person for another month and you're only gonna see like all of your other friends for another month and then you're starting like a totally new chapter. It's pretty crazy stuff. So by out there, I mean, I think I'm out there in a really weird, liminal space in my life. And, you know, it is what it is. Real quick, real quick, real quick. This is crazy actually.

[Meg]

Go ahead. Did you remember.

[Lincoln]

Do you remember Bonner 2022?

[Meg]

Of course, yeah.

[Lincoln]

Do you remember the. On the first day of Bonner. Do you remember those, like, two college kids with the college radio station who came up and interviewed you?

[Meg]

Did they interview me while I was smoking a cigarette?

[Lincoln]

It was like that press tent area. You were in full costume. It was like middle of the day, Thursday. I don't know. I don't remember if you were, if you were smoking a cigarette. Anyway, I was one of those. I was one of those. One of those. Is that like, interviewed you and it's crazy, like four years later. Yeah, no, it was, it was, it was awesome as hell. And I gotta be honest with you, it like I was like debating like, you know, like dropping out and like doing some other shit, but, you know, hey, man, you giving me an interview, you know, hey, that was like, you know, maybe I'm kind of good at this, you know, maybe people want to talk to me and I do that. I stayed with it, so I was. Yeah, I really appreciate that.

[Meg]

Yeah, of course. That's. That's fucking. That's awesome. What do you. So tell. Yeah, what's, what's Going on with you now? What are you, what have you been up to?

[Lincoln]

Well, I stopped doing the radio station because my boss was a bit of a tyrant and I didn't get paid. And then I got a really cool paid job working in video production. So if you need anybody on their video production team who's, you know, about to graduate, still looking for a job. So hey, plug out there, you know, real quick.

[Meg]

Where did you.

[Lincoln]

On my LinkedIn.

[Meg]

Where'd you go to school? And would you, would you study?

[Lincoln]

I go to University of Tennessee. So go Balls. You know, big school, but yeah, studied journalism. So started out doing radio stuff and now I'm. Now I'm doing video. It's crazy, it's fun.

[Meg]

And then what are you, what are you hoping to do after you graduate?

[Lincoln]

I'm hoping to have a stable job, you know, wife and kids, suburban American dream. Nah, nothing like, I know, nothing, Nothing too like vanilla. But honestly, like before all like the dream job crap, I lowkey just want to like have a comfortable life. That's what that, that's the dream right there, you know, because it's crazy. It's very uncertain these days. It's no longer a guarantee. I mean, it never really was, but you know, it is. It is what it is.

[Meg]

That's interesting you say that it never really was. What does that mean, never really was?

[Lincoln]

A guarantee?

[Meg]

Yeah. What does that mean to you?

[Lincoln]

Well, I mean, you know, I feel like all like the boomers out there, you know, that, you know, they, they got these like big houses now and like Daytona beach, you know, they're going on boats, getting like VIP NASCAR passes and shit, you know, and everyone, everyone thinks that like, you know, like life was easy for them and to a degree it was significantly easier to them. But you know, hey, this, we all had to struggle at one point, I guess. So I think, I think it's a little bit weird, you know, always being like, you know, man, it was so easy back then. But I know, I'm sure that there was some stuff that was hard, you know, I don't have to go fight in a war not to like lick boomers boots or anything. They don't deserve it. They're annoying as hell. But you know, the American dream was never guaranteed to anybody. And the American dream is probably, you know. I gotta stop saying that. I sound like a fucking MAGA crazy person.

[Meg]

No, I mean, I mean you say. Well look, I mean, American dream. All it is in the way that you're using it is, it's just a metaphor. For like what you're talking about where you're like, look, I want a suburban home and a wife and kids and to have enough money to support them. And that's really it.

[Lincoln]

Yeah, you know, I grew up with a nice family, I guess so it would be nice to be able to kind of continue that legacy, you know, have a nice little, nice little quaint life. I don't need to like be like working on movies or anything.

[Meg]

Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful. Beautiful. Well, cuz, yeah, I mean a lot of, I think a lot of people, yeah. Graduate from film school with like big dreams. I, I, I, it's, it's interesting that this thing of like how ambitious to be and there's no right or wrong answer. I think society kind of compels people to believe that there's a right or a wrong answer in both directions too. You know what I mean? Like there's sometimes society pressures you to like compare yourself to other people and be like, well you gotta, if you have the potential to tell these great stories. And I hate the potential bullshit. And they're like, if you don't, you must live up to your potential. And you know, it's a, it's everything in fucking life is a balancing act and a double edged sword because there is, I think, a lot of joy in quote unquote, living up to your potential and you know, working hard on things that you care about and trying to build something that you care about. But doing that. It's a lot of guff and a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety. You're gonna like, there's you, if you follow that hat. I'm not inherently, but I mean, I don't know why I'm, I'm just talk from my own lived experience is like I've tried to follow that. Yeah, I've tried to follow that path and it, there's a lot of stress to it. And then the opposite side is like, just learn to be happy with whatever your lot is and don't worry about this great big pressure of living up to your potential, whatever the fuck. And again, just, yeah, for my own lived experience is like, think there's something calming in that. But I also get depressed when I'm not feeling like I'm building something or doing something that's important to me. But every individual is gonna have a different answer to these questions. You know, that's kind of, that's the hard part. But I mean, yeah, if you want to have a wife and a kid and just make enough money to live, you know, I think that's where do you, where you're in Tennessee.

[Lincoln]

I'm in Tennessee. I'm gonna get out, though. I, I, here's the thing. Knoxville is where like my college is, right? So it's like a mid sized city, you know, like, like just under 200,000 people. It has a couple suburbs that has a decent downtown, but it's like, it's nothing huge. It's a really nice place, though. And I would come back whenever they changed up their politics, of course, because Tennessee is a bit of a hellhole, you know, if you have any compassion for any people. But yeah, trying to get out, you know, so I don't know where I'm going to be. I've applied to like, places all over the country, man. I've applied for jobs in like Washington and Cincinnati and Miami and New York and la, and I've just applied to all these places. Even like the middle of nowhere and Idaho. So I don't know. It's crazy. It's, it's, it's insane. You know, I had like, stability, right? I had like a girlfriend and now, you know, I have like totally in this limbo period for a month where I have no idea how my life's gonna pan out. Well, like, everything's gonna be drastically different. Drastically different in like 45 days.

[Meg]

Yeah, but that's, yeah, but I think when you're, when you're just graduated from college, I mean, that's good, right? You would rather, I think you'd rather things be drastically different than to be the same forever.

[Lincoln]

Yeah, that's so, and that's, that's true. I, I, I'm totally cool being in this limbo state that I'd be lying if I, if I said I was immune to the anxiety of it.

[Meg]

All.

[Lincoln]

Right. Yeah, it's, you know, like, yeah, it's, it's tough. It's tough. There are a few things that I don't know that I think would be cool. I did, I did stand up comedy a couple times, you know. You know, because, you know, all these quirky white boys, you know, they want to do stand up comedy. Oh, yeah. You know, I think I did a pretty good job. You know, people, people thought it was funny. So, you know, it'd be cool to like move to a city like Chicago and like join like an improv troupe or something and then, I don't know, see where that takes me. That could be a cool.

[Meg]

I bet you would have a lot of fun doing that. I, it's Funny. I recently, I did stand up from 16 to 22. So I did it for like what, six years or something like that. And then I kind of quit once I started doing the Gecko. Although, like, I do the live shows that are kind of have stand up elements to them and I've recently gotten back into doing stand up at like, like just regular stand up as myself. Just like going to fucking. Just going to open mics around town.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Meg]

And it's fun. I like it.

[Lincoln]

Yeah, it's ridiculous. Like telling a, telling a joke and it, like doing well, it's. It's a high that really can't be matched.

[Meg]

Yeah, I don't know for sure.

[Lincoln]

It's crazy, but. No, it's awesome, man.

[Meg]

I.

[Lincoln]

To be honest, I. I wanted to like, it's been a goal of mine the last few years to like call in and like, you know, tell you about like that bonnaroo experience and like, truly how much it meant to me because I hadn't interviewed a lot of people before then with that radio station and like, you know, we, we actually, I think, I think I just asked you for a picture and you're like, well, can we do a whole interview? And kind of blew my mind. I was like, oh my God, people want to talk me.

[Meg]

Of course, man.

[Lincoln]

It was crazy. I do have one question.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Lincoln]

You mentioned in that interview there was a kid who like called you and told you that like he was on shrooms. And then it's like mom walked in and you were like, do you know your sons on shrooms? Did you ever get like closure to that?

[Meg]

I don't get closure on any of this stuff. Once the phone hangs. Once the phone hangs up, that person is gone forever. Pretty much.

[Lincoln]

Incredible. Well, I mean, if I. Hey, if I hang, don't forget me, okay? That's all I'm saying.

[Meg]

I'm almost certainly gonna forget your name. But if, if you. I will remember who you are. If a year from now you're like, hey, I'm that guy who interviewed you upon her and then called you again, I'll be like, oh, I remember you. But I don't. I don't remember people's names for some reason.

[Lincoln]

Oh, dude, it's all good. No, I just kind of just fulfilled a bit of like a bucket list item, you know? This is crazy. This has been like, this has been. My white whale is getting on here and like, I hope like saying thank you for that.

[Meg]

I. Well, thank you very much. I hope your ambition goes further than that. Or not. Or Not, I hope you. Well, I guess I'm so curious, like, what kind of jobs are you applying for in, like, video production?

[Lincoln]

Video production specialist jobs. You know, just like, trying to, like, work like in house with a company and, like, do their marketing for them. Because, like, a lot of companies will, like, outsource that, but some companies have their own, like, team, and I feel like working in house would get me a lot better benefits or in a lot more stability. I applied for a job at Olympia, Washington, being the city of Olympia's video production guy. So I'd like, livestream their board meeting, which, you know, it's not crazy work, but, you know, it's fun work. It's. It's fun like just getting to like, edit and video stuff. It's like I'm playing with boys, you know, it's not too high stakes.

[Meg]

Look, man, look, man, go. You could have a great life in Olympia, Washington. You go, you do your fucking stupid job, you do open mics at night, you meet some lady, you have kids, you go on hikes. Is a great life waiting for you in. In any of the places that you might end up. You know, I. I appreciate it. I do believe that. I really do believe.

[Lincoln]

I greatly appreciate it. I greatly appreciate it. Well, hey, listen, I'm not gonna take too much of your time. I know there's a lot of people who have, like, actual, like, stories, but.

[Meg]

You know, hold on, hold on, hold on. By the way, I. I just want you to know something and I want. This is just you. This is an actual story. Your life is an actual story. I might move to Olympia, Washington. It's actually, it's funny, it's the most actual story because someone could call after this and be like, you know, I did ayahuasca 35 times and then made out with my dad and we moved to Paris, like, whatever. And it's like, okay, that's crazy. But it's like, that's not. Not everyone does that, you know. So this is your story, even if it's not even. It's a comma. It's a common story, but that doesn't make it not an actual one.

[Lincoln]

Exactly. You know? Yeah, I appreciate that. You know, I always listen to this show and I'm like, there's people who are calling, like, yeah, I was a drug dealer for 25 years. I'm like, oh.

[Meg]

But that's.

[Paige]

I think that's what I thought.

[Meg]

That's what I like though, is that is like, life is crazy in the sense that it on there's spectrums of it of like, oh, this is really crazy over here. And then there's a lot in the middle where it's just like, yeah, I don't know, everything's fine. You know, life is terrifying and joyful and also a lot of the times very, very boring. So, you know, it's kind of, I guess, an amalgam of all that. Anyway, what's your name again?

[Lincoln]

Lincoln. Like the president.

[Meg]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Lincoln]

You know, I'm rocking in the free.

[Meg]

World later on, Lincoln.

[Lincoln]

Yes, sir. Alrighty. Peace be with you, Geck.

[Meg]

That was Lincoln. I don't know why I said, I don't know why. The example I used was make out with your dad and move to Peru. Actually, I guess. I guess I do know why I said that. I said that because that is an unconventional thing to do, to make out with your dad and move to Peru. So actually, I. I take back my questioning on that. Well, that was a nice podcast. That was a nice episode. Good phone calls. It's great to hear about people's lives. Do I have anything to say to end the podcast? I don't know if I do. I don't know if I do. I'm glad to keep talking to people. This is chill. This is good. I feel like we're on bonus time right now just doing this. I'm gonna let whoever's listening to this get back to their lives or get back or goes somewhere else on the Internet or their phone or whatever. Thank you guys for listening. I'll be back again next week. I think next episode I'm probably gonna end up doing a. A live one. Like a. An IRL one. I like doing those. I feel like it bumps my energy up. So I think I'm gonna try that for the next episode of this. Thank you all for being here. Talk. Talk. I read all the. The Spotify comments compulsively. So if you got something to say in the Spotify comments, maybe I shouldn't read the Spotify comments. Maybe my life would be better if I just did the podcast and then shut my phone off and never looked at the Internet. But who knows if I'm gonna. In the event that I. In the event that I cow. That I cowered out and I don't do that, you can leave comments on Spotify or YouTube and I'll try to look at them. Okay. Thank you for listening to the podcast, Geck. Bless. See you around the universe, teaching you how to live your life, but he's not really an expert.

[Lyle]

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[Javon]

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[Meg]

Eczema isn't always obvious, but it's real. And so is the relief from Ebgliss. After an initial dosing phase of 16 weeks, about 4 in 10 people taking Eglis achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.

[Unknown]

EBGLIS Lebricizumab LBKZ a 250mg per 2ml injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. Ebglis can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Ebglis. Before starting Ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection.

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Searching for real Relief? Ask your doctor about EBGLIS and visit ebglislily.com or call 1-800-LILY RX or 1-800-545-5979.