“I NEED TO SETTLE DOWN”

Summary

THERAPY GECKO – “I NEED TO SETTLE DOWN”
iHeartPodcasts | November 9, 2025
Host: Lyle (the Therapy Gecko)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Therapy Gecko features two primary call-in conversations, both centered on themes of life transitions, growing up, relationships, and personal growth. Lyle, donning his signature green gecko persona, offers an unpolished, real-time, and often philosophical take on callers’ dilemmas. As always, listeners are treated to unfiltered stories about love, loneliness, existential anxiety, and the struggle to embrace life as it is.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Reconnecting with an Old Acquaintance: Austin Corey

[03:13–29:54]

Reunion and Reminiscing

• Austin, a previous acquaintance of Lyle from a tour in Grand Rapids, calls in (full name offered for comedic effect).
• The two reminisce about meeting after a show, getting high, and eating chili dogs together with Austin’s cousin.
• Austin shares that his cousin, also named Austin, was diagnosed with cancer after their meeting but is now cancer-free.
  • Quote [06:29, Austin]: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's… I believe he's all good now, so.”

Life & Work Updates

• Austin mows lawns and does landscaping, describing his job as easy and enjoyable, especially while high.
  • “It's a very easy job. I think it's easier to do while I'm high versus while I'm not high.” [09:36, Austin]
• Shares anecdotes about friendly customer interactions and the autonomy his job allows.

Reflections on Settling Down

• Austin expresses anxiety about needing to settle down as he approaches 30, reflecting on his current casual flings and the fear of missing the opportunity to start a family.
  • “Every day there's more and more girls our age that are getting knocked up and getting pregnant. And the first time I have a kid, I would like to hopefully have a kid with somebody that doesn't have a child already.” [11:40, Austin]

Lyle’s Perspective on Relationships and Timing

• Lyle pushes back on the urgency, arguing there’s still plenty of time.
  • “If I just, like… Whatever, for the next, what, seven years and I'll be 35 and I could meet a nice, you know, 30, 28, 29 year old lady, you know, and then, you know, 37, maybe we have kids.” [12:26, Lyle]
• Both agree there’s no need to rush into anything and that it’s better not to start relationships while still harboring feelings for someone else.

Real Talk on Casual Sex and Emotional Honesty

• Austin talks about a cycle of being unable to commit due to unresolved feelings for an ex.
  • “I'm just with the, you know, non-committed relationships because then you don't have to worry about, you know, hurting anybody or being hurt in return, you know?” [24:59, Austin]
• Lyle reframes the language around casual sex, lightening the mood:
  • [24:04, Lyle]: “Hey, listen, man, I got some bad news for you, Austin. That actually makes you a whore as well.”
• Both agree that meaningful connection is ultimately what’s missed, and that relationships involve risk and vulnerability.

Reflections on Freedom vs. Commitment

• Lyle talks about the balance between enjoying personal freedom and the desire for deeper connection.
  • “I'm crazy. I'm like, I'm gonna go to Iraq for a week or I'm gonna… But I guess ideally, whoever ends up being my partner probably, you know, is like, okay, like, knows that I'm like that and is on board for it.” [17:16, Lyle]
• Both realize their views on relationships and family may keep evolving.

Lighthearted Wrap-Up

• Austin pledges to see Lyle's shows again, and both recall their spontaneous, memorable night in Grand Rapids.
• Ends with Austin shouting out his now-healthy cousin and Lyle playfully noting these adventures might not happen once he has kids.

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2. Navigating Transition and Creative Ambition: Mike from Appalachia

[34:10–59:25]

Life at a Crossroads

• Mike, 21, is about to graduate with a finance degree but has deep creative ambitions (writing horror stories).
• He describes his upbringing in Appalachia: a region marked by self-sufficiency, slower modernization, and isolation.
  • “I mean, my parents are a bit of an exception because they were both engineers, but… my high school had bring your tractor to school day.” [37:25, Mike]

Growing Up Online and Emotional Introspection

• Mike reflects on feeling like he grew up both in physical and digital isolation.
• His years spent “brooding” online led to deep creative introspection and, eventually, a passion for writing.

Facing Adulthood

• Mike’s main anxiety: the transition from student to adult, balancing a safe career in finance with his creative dreams.
  • “I'm passing the point of not being able to just not give a shit… I can either fall back… go home and play video games in my mom's basement and do nothing… or I can get out of that and seriously… have to work seriously to support myself with a finance career and then at the same time, you know, hold on to my dreams of writing.” [40:53, Mike]
• Lyle relates, sharing his own moment of reckoning after college.

Lyle’s Realistic Optimism

• Encourages Mike not to fear business ambitions or creative aspirations, and not to resent the necessity of making money.
  • “Money's real, you know? It's real. It's the thing that you use to… build a life for yourself. There's nothing inherently evil about wanting to go into business and try to make money.” [45:55, Lyle]
• Both discuss the persistence of familiar emotions across ages and the importance of being proactive about life satisfaction.
  • “Just start loving your life right fucking now… Don't wait for a thing to happen.” [51:18, Lyle]

Scenes of Struggle and Self-Compassion

• Both admit struggling with mental health—Mike talks about dopamine spirals; Lyle about binge eating.
• Exchange advice on approaching bad habits with compassion rather than guilt.
  • “At some point, fuck, I'm going to… freak out again and something bad's gonna happen and I'm gonna eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's and whatever. But it will be okay… Every time you don't kill yourself, you get a little bit better at life.” [57:32, Lyle]

A Final Takeaway

• Mike offers:
  • “Always give someone the benefit of the doubt. No matter who you meet, always assume they know something you don't know, and you can find out by talking to them.” [58:24, Mike]
• The conversation brims with mutual validation—classic Therapy Gecko warmth and candor.

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3. Listener Mailbag

[63:38–73:03]

Lyle closes out with thoughtful, candid responses to listener emails on:

• Being the “quiet guy”: Lyle advises Klein to lean into authenticity and strategic silence, referencing a quote often misattributed to Abraham Lincoln:
  • “It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” [64:09, Lyle]
• Ketamine therapy for depression: Responds with curiosity and humor to a listener’s poetic reflection on ketamine experiences.
• A polyamory-induced crisis: Offers gentle, witty analysis of a listener’s failed attempt at polyamory and the resultant struggles.
• Overcoming a speech impediment: Responds to a listener whose septum piercing symbolized their journey to self-acceptance and social confidence.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On modern life’s clock:
  • “I could kind of Whatever, for the next… seven years and I'll be 35… There's room to like do this.” [12:26, Lyle]
• On risk, pain, and relationships:
  • “To really like build a thing or… allow yourself to whatever, you got to enter into something that both allows you to… That opens you up to an extreme amount of pain and then… also opens another person up to an extreme amount of pain… but that's all of life… High risk, high reward.” [26:22, Lyle]
• On creative ambition in adulthood:
  • “I have sadnesses and angers and ambitions and joys at 27 that I had when I was 20, 21… The emotions are still there. ... I'm more mature now. I have more information, I have more knowledge.” [47:48, Lyle]
• On embracing imperfection and starting now:
  • “Don’t fucking wait to, like, love your life. So the transition… that’s how I would phrase your transition.” [51:33, Lyle]
• On survival and self-improvement:
  • “Every time you don't kill yourself, you get a little bit better at life.” [57:54, Lyle]

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• [03:13] – Austin reconnects with Lyle; memories of Grand Rapids
• [11:26] – Austin’s anxiety about dating and settling down
• [15:53] – The existential pressure to procreate
• [23:33] – Austin wrestles with his history of non-commitment
• [29:54] – Segment end; transition to next caller
• [34:10] – Mike’s call: creative tension, Appalachia background
• [40:53] – Describing adulthood as a crossroads/transition
• [47:48] – Reflections on how emotions persist through age
• [51:18] – Lyle’s advice: “Start loving your life right now”
• [57:54] – “Every time you don’t kill yourself, you get a little better at life”
• [63:38] – Mailbag: advice on being quiet, ketamine, polyamory crisis, and self-acceptance

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Tone and Takeaways

Therapy Gecko episodes are raw, meandering, and peppered with self-deprecating humor, vulnerability, and moments of real insight. Lyle offers gentle guidance without judgment, suggesting that life, with all its risks and insecurities, is worth living boldly — or at least with a sense of humor about its messiness. Whether wrestling with existential purpose, lonely nights, family pressure, or the will to just keep trying, the message is the same: keep going, accept your cycles, and don’t wait to start loving your life.

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Summary by segment, with timestamps and notable quotes for easy navigation — perfect for anyone seeking the heart of the episode without listening to every minute.

Transcript

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[Lyle]

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[Austin Corey]

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[Austin Corey]

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[Lyle]

Hello?

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, can you hear me?

[Lyle]

Yeah. What's up, man? What's your name?

[Austin Corey]

My name's Austin. Austin Corey.

[Lyle]

Austin Corey. I'll take a fir. Why not? First and last name. That's good. We can use that for something. What's going on? Austin Corey? What's happening with you today?

[Austin Corey]

Oh, nothing much. I'm at work right now smoking a blunt. I can't believe I got through to you.

[Lyle]

Have we spoken before?

[Austin Corey]

We've actually met before. I don't know if he's like, okay to say or whatever, but we met in Michigan and we went and got hot dogs.

[Lyle]

Yes, I remember. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do we. Did we go to like a diner kind of a place?

[Austin Corey]

Yep, yep. Me and. It was me and my cousin Austin.

[Lyle]

Yeah, bro. I got in your fucking truck and we went to like a diner place, right?

[Austin Corey]

Yep. Yeah, that was me. That was my truck.

[Lyle]

Yeah, dude, I remember you, man. Yeah, man, I remember you. Dude, that was a fun night. Yeah, that was a fun night. Yeah, that was after. Oh, God.

[Austin Corey]

That was in Grand Rapids.

[Lyle]

This is in Grand Rapids. Oh, shit. Yeah, I was thinking that. I was thinking that was in Detroit. Yeah, that was in Grand Rapids. I had a show in the pyramid scheme and I was just, you know, I'm in fucking Grand Rapids, Michigan. I don't have anything to do. And you know. Yeah, I get in your car and we get high and we go to this like, chili dog place with. Yeah, with you and your cousin. We just chit chat. That was fun. Oh, that was a fun night, dude. What's up?

[Austin Corey]

I could. I couldn't believe that you actually came with us. I was like, man, he doesn't know us at all. We could kidnap him and do weird things and he just hopped right in the truck. And it was. It was one of the best nights I Ever had. I tell everybody about that.

[Lyle]

Oh, man, I'm so happy to talk to you again. That was a fun night for me. Well, yeah, when I go on tour, I, or even when I'm not just in general, I'm like, I don't know, I like a good adventure. I like a good, let's see where this thing goes. And I tend to have a. I like, I don't know, I'm good at sussing people out, I think. And I didn't have a sense from you that you were going to kill me.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely don't give off killer vibes. But I was like, wow, he's so trusting. And you ended up being like the nicest person ever. I couldn't believe it.

[Lyle]

Oh, thanks.

[Austin Corey]

I'm sorry, I don't know if this is good stream, you know, stuff or whatever, but I was like, holy. I want to get. Can I give a shout out to my cousin that we, that we ate with?

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course.

[Austin Corey]

Shout out to Austin. He. He should give you a call sometime. He. I don't want to put his business out there, but he ended up finding out he had cancer like right after that.

[Lyle]

Really?

[Austin Corey]

And a bunch of like. Yeah. Oh, you remember how, you remember how nice he was of a person and everything.

[Lyle]

So is he, is he all right?

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, yeah, he's okay now, you know, but he just has gone through a bunch of crazy things since then. I always tell him, like, man, you need to call into the get go and talk to him about it.

[Lyle]

Is he cancer free now?

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's. I believe he's all good now, so.

[Lyle]

Oh, cool. Good.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, good. So, damn. Are you, Are you planning any tours again anytime soon?

[Lyle]

Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to come back to. I mean, if they'll have me, I'll come back to Grand Rapids.

[Austin Corey]

But if I got traveled, come see. I will. Especially that now that you. I was like, man, I hope he remembers me.

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course I remember that. Of course I remember that. Yeah, I'm. I'm planning a tour in 2026. I'm going to come to at least like the big major cities. But yeah, if there's enough interest, I'll definitely come to Detroit or Grand Rapids.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Wait, hold on, let me see if I wrote. I'm gonna, I mean, I keep a journal. I'm gonna see if I wrote about this in my journal at all. I'm gonna see if maybe it'll help. Jogma, this was in. This was in 2024 in, like, when the fuck. Do you remember what month this was in?

[Austin Corey]

It was sometime in the summer, I believe. I don't remember for sure, but I remember we were smoking a blunt outside and shorts and T shirts.

[Lyle]

So, yeah, wait. Grand Rapids, maybe. Let's see. Did I join? Did I journal about this? I remember we did it. That was fun as man.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah. Every time when I meet somebody, I'm new, I'm like, hey, do you know the therapy gecko? And they're like, yeah. I'm like, that guy's my homie. We went and got some chili dogs.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah. I wrote here. I was like, I had a fantastic show that was so much fun at this tiny punk venue with pinball machines. And then I went out to get Coney Dogs afterwards with these two dudes named Austin. Wait, you guys are. You guys are both named Austin, right?

[Austin Corey]

Yep. Austin and Austin.

[Lyle]

Yeah. I drove with them in their truck, and we hung out and ate food and talked. So there we go. Damn. Good to see you again, man. Okay, so what's so. All right, so what's up with you, Austin? What's been going. Any. Any updates? I don't remember. I don't. I know that we met and hung out, but I. My memory is not good enough to remember exactly what we talked about when we hung out with each other. Any. Any updates on your life since then?

[Austin Corey]

Uh, nothing crazy. I got into a fight with my cousin couple weeks ago. He was. He was drunk. Drunk and acting crazy, so I had to put a whooping on him. But besides that, nothing. Nothing super crazy to. To talk about. So I'm just so glad that you answered. I was like, holy. I'm. I'm at work right now. But I pulled over as soon as I heard hello. I was like, oh, my gosh.

[Lyle]

Remind me what you do for. For work.

[Austin Corey]

I mow lawns. I work outside and mow lawns. So do, like, landscaping. And so is that.

[Lyle]

Is that an easy job to do while you're high? It seems like it's a doable job while you're high.

[Austin Corey]

It's a very easy job. I think it's easier to do while I'm high versus while I'm not high. When you're high, it just makes everything smooth, and you don't really care about, you know, things too much, and it. It makes it easier to work with my customers, you know, And I'm kind of extra happy and giggly, you know, all my customers love me. I got a little old lady that I mow And I just left her house and she, she baked me a whole, like, tray of cinnamon rolls.

[Lyle]

Cool. That's awesome.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, it's a good, good job. And I like to, I like to work outside where, you know, I'm not, I can be outside and be in nature versus being locked down in a building all day. I can never work that work in a building and, you know, like, people that have to ask for permission to go to the bathroom and stuff, you know, like, I'm not in school anymore. I don't want to have to ask permission to go to the bathroom.

[Lyle]

Do you just go to the bathroom, like, on the lawn?

[Austin Corey]

It depends. You know, I got a couple properties where I can do that, but, you know, no, I, I work with, I have one person that works with me, but I'm the boss. So if I want to pull over and, you know, roll some weed up or pull over and go to the bathroom, I can, you know, do whatever I want.

[Lyle]

Does anyone get pissed off at you for getting high on the job?

[Austin Corey]

I don't think so. Not that I've never gotten any complaints. I've only gotten positive things. A couple weeks ago, I had a neighbor come out and give me, or a customer come out and give me some weed as a, as a tip. So that was pretty cool.

[Lyle]

Nice, man. When we were talking, do you have a girlfriend at the time or were you, like, seeing someone?

[Austin Corey]

No, just. I've just been banging ladies, man, lately. I, I, I need to settle down here soon because I'm 28, so I know I was when we talked. I think I'm only like a year older than you, but, you know, we're, we're kind of getting older, both of us. Both me and you, you know, we're kind of losing, losing potential, potential mates, you know what I mean? Every, every day there's more and more girls our age that are getting knocked up and getting pregnant. And the first time I have a kid, I would like to hopefully have a kid with somebody that doesn't have a child already, you know, So I definitely need to settle down. How, how do you feel about that? Do you have a lady right now?

[Lyle]

I, I don't, but I, I get, Dude, I don't know. I, I disagree with you a little bit in the sense that, like, I mean, I'm 20, I'm about to turn 28, and I'm like, you know, I don't like the way I look at time is like, man, you know, if I like, fuck, if I just, like, I could kind of Whatever, for the next, what, seven years and I'll be 35 and I could meet a nice, you know, 30, 28, 29 year old lady, you know, and then, you know, 37, maybe we have kids. I'm like, there's, there's, there's, there's room, you know, there's room to like do this. It feels you.

[Austin Corey]

You see, that's kind of how I feel like I'm in a position myself where I personally don't want to rush going into a relationship.

[Lyle]

Exactly. I don't want to, I don't want to rush it and I don't feel like I have time to rush it. Sorry, sorry, go ahead and especially rush.

[Austin Corey]

I definitely don't want to rush having a kid with somebody. I've seen like so many people, you know, have kids and then, you know, as soon as they have a kid, their relationship just turns into. And you know, when I finally want to have a kid and feel like I'm ready to have a kid, you know, I don't, I don't want to feel like it's rushed, you know, I feel like those kinds of things kinda will come to you in a sense, you know, Like, I don't feel like I need to kind of hunt down somebody, you know, but I have like, like my family will say weird things to me like that. Like as far as, like, oh, you need to, you know, get. Shack up with a, with a girl and you know, have kids soon, blah, blah, blah. But you know, I, I kind of just feel like that's something that'll come to me when the time is right.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I've been coming around to the idea of like, I don't know, being like a stepdad. I think I'd like to have kids, but I'm like, if I don't know, it's, I would. Dude, I've been thinking about this. I've like, I'm like thinking about like how fucking insane it'll feel because I look at having kids as like a far off thing. But even when I'm like, even if I do wait the amount of time I want to wait and I'm like. Or the amount of time I'm waiting in my head and I'm like 36, 37, whatever, I'm still me, you know, And I still, and I think me, the idea of looking at a child that I've created, that feels like so freakily existential to me that I'm like, whoa, that's kind of fucking crazy. But it also, it seems so it seems so nice. It seems so normal of a thing. It seems like a good thing to do with your life. I mean, it's literally the. If you have to. If you had to go. If you had to consult the. The user manual of your human body for the meaning of life, it. It literally tells you that your. Your. Your objective is to, you know, is to have sex, but for, you know, for the purpose of procreation. Like, that's like. The body's objective is survive by eating food and water and then procreate. That's in the user manual.

[Austin Corey]

Does that stress you out at all? Like, the potential of, like, would you be okay with. With not having kids?

[Lyle]

Well, you know, when I really think about it, it stresses me out for sure, but I just. I'm like, so. I don't know, I feel like I got some time, so I'm not stressed out about it.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

You know.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, we're still young lads, but, you.

[Lyle]

Know, I feel that way.

[Austin Corey]

That clock is definitely clicking, you know, And I. I also have a weird thing right now still where I don't know if this. It's childish or not, but I really like to do what I want to do when I want to do it, you know, and it's. It's tough when you got a girlfriend, you know, they're like, oh, let's go shopping. Let's do this, let's do this, you know, and they'll ask you to go do a bunch of things that you might not necessarily want to do, you know, And I'm very, very busy guy, so it's. But at the same time, you know, when. If you're just having sex with people that you're not in, like, an actual relationship, you know, you don't really get anything meaningful out of it. And I do miss having a partner to, you know, experience things with, I guess.

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course. Of course. I think that. Yeah, I mean, it's a give and take, right? Because I'm the same way. I'm. I'm like, you know, I'm crazy. I'm like, I'm gonna go to Iraq for a week or I'm gonna go out to this random thing or do this or try this or whatever, you know. But I guess ideally, ideally, whoever I've. Whoever ends up like, being a, you know, my partner probably, you know, is like, okay, like, knows that I'm like that and is on board for it. But you. But no matter what, you could have somebody who's like, totally on board, totally, whatever. But you always. If you're, you know, living life with another person. You have to make concessions no matter what. Especially if you like another person. Yeah, you got to make concessions. But I think, I don't know. I'm not. Let's talk again. We gotta Talk again in 10 years. Cause I don't have enough information, I don't have enough wisdom to really. It's true. I don't have enough wisdom to fully engage in this conversation with you. I feel like if we had this conversation, I feel like us having this conversation now and us having this conversation 10 years from now, we're both gonna have totally different views on it. But. Because I don't, I. If I'm like, like, I don't know, I look at my life right now and, you know, I'm single, I live by myself. I don't like. And I'm like, it's some night, some nights is cool. It's like, you know, some nights it's cool and some nights you're like, oh, I think the whole point of this was to like build a real life. And then I'm like, wait, wouldn't it be awesome to. Dude. Dude. When I was, when I was like 15, I used to. I think this is just because I was watching Louie a lot. But when I was 15, I was like, I can't wait to be divorced. You know, like, that seemed like a cool life to me. I don't know, not like a cool life, but like. Cause like my dad was, you know, fuck it, my parents got divorced and. But my dad was still like in my life and I was like, oh, that seems like the good setup is like, you have your kids half the time. But, but I don't know. I'm a dumb, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm dumb. I think if I, I think, I think, I think me thinking about that in, as a 15 year old, in theory is much different from how I'll actually feel when I have children, you know?

[Austin Corey]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Because, because I'm sure I, I'm sure when I have children, I'll be like, I'm sure something like, well, we wire will like rewire in my brain to go, no, I want to be with these people as, as much as humanly possible, but I don't have the wisdom to fully address any of these things yet.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's a bit of a double edged sword, so. But okay. Yeah, I'm very, very glad to hear that you're going on tour again. So at least I'll be able to see you again in the next year if you're going on tour. Sometimes even if I gotta go a state or two, I'll come see you wherever you go.

[Lyle]

So you know, if I have, I feel like if I have kids, I can't be hopping in random high strangers trucks in the middle of Michigan to, to go to diners at, you know, one o' clock in the morning.

[Austin Corey]

See, doesn't that like it's then, you know, there's so many things you're not able to do. You know, we would, that night would have never happened then, you know.

[Lyle]

Well, I don't know. Like, I don't, I don't personally know these people but like there's like comedians like you know, Mark Normand and Joe List and like, you know, other, other like that. I don't personally know those guys but you know, I know that they have kids and I'll hear them talk about like their lives and I'm like, oh, you can like have a kid. But still, you know, do do that kind of shit. So I, but I don't know, I don't think it's something to count on.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, yeah, that is true, I guess.

[Lyle]

Anyway. But who, who are these girls that you're banging?

[Austin Corey]

So it's kind of like a, a short but long story. So it's just, they're kind of just random horrors. So I, I was in a relationship. Well, so I was in a relationship like five or six years ago and you know, high school, sweet sweetheart, blah, blah, blah. You know, I, I thought she was going to be the one, but she, you know, ended up doing her thing and we, we split up or whatever and she really did a number on me, but she. So like we split up and I got, and I got together with other girls or whatever and then that the girl would hit me up and I would shit on other girls that treated me very, very good just to talk to the one I was in love with, you know, if that makes sense.

[Lyle]

Oh, like this girl, this girl didn't like the other girls. So you would talk badly about them to her?

[Austin Corey]

No, so like the girl I was like, so me and the girl broke up. My high school sweetheart so I would start banging other girls, you know, and then I would get together with somebody and be seeing somebody or whatever and, and then, you know, a couple months down the road, you know, my high school sweetheart, she would get done, you know, whoever she was or whatever and then she would call me back eventually once she got bored or whatever, but. Because I was in love with her. No matter what kind of girl I was with, you know, I was with girls that treated me way better than she ever did. But because I was in love with her, I. I would just drop whoever I was with the moment she would call me. It didn't matter if it was two months or three years. You know, if she called me, I'd be like, hey, you know, what's up? You know, and we. So that's why I'm. Now is because I'm still feeling.

[Lyle]

Why. Wait, why are these. Wait, why are these women?

[Austin Corey]

I guess when I say whores, I shouldn't mean whores. Like, they just. They're girls that I bang without being in a relationship, so.

[Lyle]

Hey, hey, listen, man, I got. I got some bad news for you, Austin. That actually, that makes you a whore as well.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah. And I wasn't using it in a derogatory kind of way, you know, but we're all just freely. You know, it's. We're taking care of each other's needs without the commitment part, you know?

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Austin Corey]

So I'm.

[Lyle]

I'm not. I'm. I'm pro. I'm pro whoredom.

[Austin Corey]

But so, like, the only reason why I'm doing that is because I don't want to get into another relationship quite yet while I still have somewhat of feelings for another person. That. That saying, you don't. Don't bleed on somebody that didn't cut you. You know what I mean? I don't want to. I don't want to break another girl's heart just because I'm being an asshole and I. I still have feelings for somebody else.

[Lyle]

Yeah. All right. Yeah, it sounds. It sounds like you're in, like, a transitional period right now of, like. All right, let me. Let me. Let me dial all this back and figure out what I actually want to do.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, so, like, you know, I'm just with the, you know, non. Non committed relationships because then you don't have to worry about, you know, hurting anybody or being hurt in return, you know?

[Lyle]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[Austin Corey]

No. No commitment, no nothing. You know, it also gives me the freedom to come and go as I please. You know, I can call, you know, a girl on one night, hey, you want to go get some dinner? You know, blah, blah, blah. We go out on a date, and if something happens, sweet. If not, you know, so I had a good time anyways.

[Lyle]

Yeah, that's a. That's a. That's kind of a. Yeah, it's a very. Let's. That's a nicely low stakes place to be.

[Austin Corey]

Yes. You know, you can get. Can get hurt in that zone, you know, and I've had a lot of hurt in my life and I don't think I can. I just don't want to take any more quite at this point. But yeah, you know, I, I miss the. I do miss being in a committed relationship just to. It's been a couple years since I've been in a committed relationship and I'm doing pretty well in life and I just want to be able to share my wealth. Like I don't have like a bunch of money, but I just, I'm doing good and I want to do good with somebody. If that makes sense.

[Lyle]

No, that makes a lot of sense. I mean. Yeah, that's what like every song on the planet Earth is written about. Right? Is like, you got. Is like. Yeah, like this isn't. This is just like an analysis is like. Yeah. To really like build a thing or you know, allow yourself to whatever you got to enter into something that both allows you to. That opens you up to an extreme amount of pain and then, and then opens another person up to an extreme amount of pain and then the stakes become fucking higher. Yeah, but that, but also, but, you know, I mean that's, that's all of life. That's all of life is like, you know, you, you. High risk, high reward, you know.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah. Do you think you're gonna be in a relationship anytime soon? I got any honey talking to.

[Lyle]

I'm kind of, I don't know, I'm enjoying, I'm just, I'm just like kind of living my life right now. I was, I think I was maybe thinking about that stuff more, but I'm just living my life right now. I feel pretty good about it.

[Austin Corey]

You said you feel pretty good about it.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I mean, I'd like, I'd like to do something in the future, but I don't know, I'm enjoying living my life right now.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah, I'm, I'm glad that, you know, it makes me feel better to hear somebody else kind of has the same thoughts and viewpoints.

[Lyle]

We're young guys, man. We're young guys. I don't think that we're, you know, I think we'll be okay.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah. Yeah, we're, you know. How old are you? 27.

[Lyle]

27.

[Austin Corey]

27. I'm 28. So I thought, I told myself, I was like, man, you know, if I don't have something going on by 30, I got something to worry about.

[Lyle]

But you got Plenty going on. You have a truck, you have a job. You're doing all right.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah. Yeah. Do you have anything planned out for your new tour yet?

[Lyle]

I know I'm gonna do. My plan is to do, like, half. I think. I think on my. In my last tours, the show was like 30% my own material and 70% dicking around with the audience. And I think for this, the next one, I. I'm hoping. I'm aiming. It's gonna be some. It's gonna take some time to work on, but I'm hoping it'll be like half my own material half ticking around with the audience.

[Austin Corey]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Well.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah. Well, that showing grandfather was super fun.

[Lyle]

Thanks, man. I appreciate that, dude. It was. It was great. It was great talking to you again. This is. I'm reminiscing now about that night. That was a fun time. Time.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Is that. Is there anything else you want to say to the. The people of the computer before we get out of here?

[Austin Corey]

No, I just want to give one more shout out to my cousin, Austin Heath, the one that was there eating hot dogs with us that night. Besides that, I'm all good.

[Lyle]

Rock and roll.

[Austin Corey]

Appreciate it. L. You have a good day.

[Lyle]

Hey, take care, Austin.

[Austin Corey]

Thank you.

[Lyle]

It is raining hard out there. It is raining a lot. Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators of some kind. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world whatever it is that you do best. You can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate live together.

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[Ed Helms]

Hey everyone, Ed Helms here and hi.

[Lyle]

I'm Cal Penn and we're the hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.

[Ed Helms]

This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

You know what?

[Lyle]

I can see you as Mr. Darcy.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

You got a little Colin Firth.

[Ed Helms]

Okay, that's really sweet, I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett here. Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcast.

[Lyle]

Hi, who is this?

[Mike]

This is Mike.

[Lyle]

What's going on, man?

[Mike]

Dude, I'm in a very weird crossroads.

[Austin Corey]

In life right now.

[Lyle]

Tell me.

[Mike]

I'm about to graduate with my degree in finance.

[Austin Corey]

Right.

[Mike]

About to join the whole business world, the whole like numbers, data analysis, all that.

[Austin Corey]

Mm.

[Mike]

But then, like, I'm a very creative person, so on the side, I'm going to keep writing. You know, I want to write short stories and write books and all that. I've been writing for years and it's just a very, very strange place to be in because I'm, I just, I couldn't put all my eggs in one basket with riding. I had to, you know, do some professional to support it at the same time. Also, I'm Appalachian, so if that's interesting to you, we could talk about that as well.

[Lyle]

What does it, what does it mean? You're Appalachian? Like you're from Appalachia?

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm like, I am from Appalachia. My family's been there for generations. So I'm not super into like, you know, the culture and all that. I'm just saying that's the area of grew up in. And it's a, it's a. When I'm saying I'm not super into the area, I don't mean like I hate it or something. I just don't mean I'm like full gun ho Appalachian. Just. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Lyle]

Remind me briefly of the culture of the area.

[Mike]

So Appalachia, one of the, like, the biggest part of the culture is just for a long time there was these groups of people who would just live out in the woods and just like a family or just like a single, like a fan, like a group of families or a single family in a house, just living out isolated for years, maybe decades, you know, just learning to live off the land and having a very, you know, self made culture, that sort of thing. Very different dialogue, different way of speaking, that sort of thing. And it's just, it's just an odd place, man. And the whole culture of like people being like self sufficient is still part of it. And it's odd to see Appalachia also updating to the modern world at the same time because it's, it's, you know, we live in. Well this, this is something interesting about being from Appalachia. Right? So in the modern age there's like tech and yada, yada and everyone's like, oh, from the 60s or 80s, it was all different. We have always been 20 years behind here. So while everyone else and like every other state was going through, you know, being modernized and like, you know, in the 2000 and tens being all. I don't know what exactly the word is, just being like, having a much more modernized culture. We'd all look outside that and we'd still be kind of stuck in like the 80s or 90s. It always felt like, you know, does that make sense?

[Lyle]

Yeah, that makes sense. How old are you?

[Mike]

21 right now, actually.

[Lyle]

21. And do you feel like you grew up in the 80s?

[Mike]

Kinda. I mean, my. My parents are a bit of an exception because they were both engineers, but it's like whenever I'd walk outside of my house and it's like my high school had bring your tractor to school day, and I'd have to be. And you know, that's not something that was just specific to the 80s, but like, the way people talk, the way people still drive older cars, just the kind of culture, you know, it's not. We just did not. We just. We just don't modernize. We just didn't modernize as quickly as everyone else. We're getting to that point now because I don't think there's really any way to like, run from that modern modernization anymore. But just. Yeah, it just felt like I was living in a different time period.

[Lyle]

So let's get back to you. What's your crossroads? And then maybe I wonder if in some way, shape or form, your environment has led to whatever's going on with your crossroads.

[Mike]

The crossroads? Yeah, it's. I was a nice lady, like, younger guy when I was younger as well. It's just part of what it is. It's a lot less frowned upon, I guess, to kind of the. The way it used to be was everyone got raised by everyone else. So, you know, when it was more okay to just. When you could like sit on your computer and socialize people through the computer, then a lot of that kind of just happened to a lot of people, I think, in my town. I don't know if that exactly makes sense. What I'm saying is I just got along history of just being just hooked in. Sorry, man. Trying to explain. So what do you mean by explain my crossroads? No, explain riding.

[Lyle]

Well, hold on. First of all, everything. First of all, everything you've said so far makes perfect sense. So there's no reason to get flustered or frustrated. Well, okay. I mean, a lot of things well, one. First of all, what I mean by explain your crossroads is you can't. The first thing you said on the phone pretty much was that you're at a crossroads. So that's, that's what I mean. But okay, so you grew up feeling pretty isolated. Like you. You feel like you grew up on a computer.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was. I grew up on a computer and I just grew up in like, even outside the computer, it was an isolated type of area. I grew up just reading, listening to, you know, YouTube and stuff and like playing video games. And I think that really, it was bad for me in a lot of ways. But all those years of like, not brooding. Brooding sounds a little darker, but just like brooding. With all these creative outlets online and just sitting in my room and really having a lot of time to introspect, like deeply, like for months at a time on a certain thing I think really led me to have all this like emotion and thoughts, like kind of built up. And eventually in my teens, there was just like nowhere else to go and it just went to writing.

[Lyle]

And the crossroads. You're graduating soon from college this December.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And what are the crossroads?

[Mike]

It's. I'm passing the point of like, not like being able to just not give a shit. I guess. Like before I could just sit around and just do nothing and play video games and all that. And now I'm. I can either fall back into that and just, you know, isolate myself again and go back to my hometown and just live in my parents basement and do nothing for a while and keep telling myself something will happen, or I can get out of that and serious, like have to work seriously to support myself with like a finance career and then at the same time, you know, hold on to my dreams of writing and like right. At the same time. So it's just, it's. Maybe crossroads wasn't the right word. Just a very large trend. It's very transition, a very odd transitionary period. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay, good. I'm glad, I'm glad to hear you say that. Crossroads isn't the word because that means that you've chosen that because when you were referring to this as a crossroads, the crossroad was between pursuing something with your life that will engage you creatively and allow you some form of financial success and allow you to see the world and move outside. And the other road is to go back home and play video games in your mom's basement. Not judging, but that's what you refer to as the crossroads.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's. I mean, even in college A lot of times it would be, I would still have that same sort of like air that I had, like, air about myself, like, well, I can kind of goof off now. There's plenty of time. And I guess Cross was just like, I'm, I'm passing that now and just this huge transition from going to is, is very different. Like, and it's just a weird, a weird place to be into, like trying to build like a very professional, cold and, you know, non creative career and building a creative career at the same time and doing all that while moving away from, you know, I, I, I was always like a harder worker than most people, but it's, it's so weird. Like, like looking back, I see myself as so lazy before, which, I mean, I have to have high expectations if I want this stuff to work out and I mean, like work all day type of expectations.

[Lyle]

Why? Yeah, I have multiple thoughts. One is if, I don't know if you have a father to say this to you, but I'm proud of you because like, yeah, it's pretty easy if you want to, to not fucking do anything. And our, and yeah, our development, I mean, I don't know, you're, you're a solid bit, you're a solid bit younger than me. You're six years younger than me. But I also feel like I.

[Austin Corey]

You.

[Lyle]

Know, I don't feel like I grew up on a computer, but I had the same, you know, we had social media and we had Facebook and we had fucking Zooto Zoo. Pop Trop, Pop Tropica. That's what I'm trying to think of.

[Mike]

We had Pop drop.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Okay. All right, so we're on the same, we're in the same boat a little bit. But. And yeah, it would be easy for you if you wanted to just stay in Appalachia, live in your mom's basement and continue to not do anything. But I don't think that's what you want. And I, and I get that there's a hard transition. Yeah. I remember when I was, I remember, yeah, when I was 22, I had this moment because I had also, I'd also kind of been spending my whole life, you know, I was being creative and I was making movies and I was doing things and I had this, I mean, you know, I'm lucky. I had a really, I had a privileged upbringing, but I remember, yeah, there's.

[Mike]

No shame in that.

[Lyle]

I had this thought where I was like, oh, shit, I'm gonna graduate college and I have to make, I have to find out how to make money. I can't just, like, scare dick off. Yeah. And I had that same realization where I'm like, oh, I have to make money. I'm having. I'm 27. I'm having that realization now. You know, Like, I. I have to make money. I have to do a thing to create a life and make money, and I have to really work at that. And it's. And it's real, and it's really real.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

So I. Go ahead.

[Mike]

You got much like a stained business is left in my. On my brain because, like, you know, you're. You do creative work. And as soon as you said make money, my first thought was that you, like, well, how are you? You know, are you. Are you looking at the right target market and yada, yada, and what's your roi? It's just stupid shit like that. You know what I mean? But the consulting mode.

[Lyle]

But you know what? Good, man. Good. It sounds like you have good. It's good. Don't be like, don't be ashamed of wanting to be in business and want and, you know, thinking about your KPIs and your ROIs and whatever. Right? Like, don't be ashamed of it. It's. It's like, fuck, man. Like, money. Money's real, you know? It's real. It's the thing that you use to. To kind of build a life for yourself. You can do it. You can live a life without money, but it's hard. Oh, yeah. And I don't think that there's anything inherently evil about you being like, I want to go into business, and I want to try to make money. And also, like you said, you, You, You. I'm so sorry that I forgot about this, but you said you have a creative outlet. What was. What did you mention your creative outlet was writing?

[Mike]

Actually, I. I do horror story writing.

[Lyle]

Cool. Look, man, I want you to know you don't. Don't be afraid of this transition. Like, don't. Don't be afraid. In fact. In fact, every. Every part of the. Because you can build a really nice life. You can build a really nice life. Go ahead.

[Mike]

From, like, when you went through this transitional period, do you. Were you, like, the same thing you talked about? Did you ever look back and it just. It shocked or even just hurt you? Kind of see, like, the time you wait or. I don't know, maybe this is something basic, and I don't even need to point it out because everyone's gone through it, but just, like, how much of a shock is it for you to look back on yourself. Like, even just six years ago, is it like, oh, I can still relate to them, that guy a lot, or do you feel like you've changed?

[Lyle]

No, I feel like. I feel like I can relate heavily to that guy. I was thinking about. I was reading journals from six years ago, and I was like. I feel like. I think when I think about six years ago, I'm like, that guy was angry and I. And I was reading journals that were angry journals. I was reading journals that were sad journals. I was reading journals that were ambitious journals. I was reading journals that were the happy journals. And in the happiness and the anger and the sadness and in the ambition, I felt all. I felt them in. I can. All of those feelings, they're still with me, but I can deal with. But I'm more mature now. I have more information. I have more knowledge. So as I navigate those familiar emotions, I'm still me. Like any. Like, I have sadnesses and angers and ambitions and joys at 27 that I had when I was 20, 21 that are. That come from. That are similar things where I could write a journal. Now, that would sound like I. If I wrote a journal, I wouldn't sound like I wrote it at 21, but the. The emotions are still there. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

No, I see what you're saying. I. I guess I didn't kind of look at it like that because when I. I look back, I think like, me and the teenager me are like two completely different persons. But I, you know, I guess. I don't know. I guess the emotions we feel are always the same. I. I don't know. Maybe that's a. Maybe that's kind of what you're saying. Whenever.

[Lyle]

Well, what's. Well, well, well, what's helpful for you right now?

[Mike]

It's creative, like, doing creative stuff. Like, right now I'm also trying to move away from, you know, getting stuck down like dopamine spirals, I guess is the word of just like scrolling Instagram or whatever and doing more fulfilling creative work. Like the. Probably the enjoyment I get from five hours of. Or like the comfort or, you know, what helps me after one day? What I would get from five hours of like, scrolling, I could probably get from, like 10 to 30 minutes of, like, really good writing and seeing.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Seeing myself actually do something meaningful and creative. And that helps a lot. Or like playing guitar, not even playing it well, just like smacking the strings and just kind of feeling that flow.

[Austin Corey]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I can. I I can. I. This is new advice that I'm playing around with to myself. But just try to love. Just. You gotta love your life, you know, Like. Like, yeah, you're gonna go get it. You're gonna do something in finance that'll take a lot of hours. I don't know if. I don't know what the job market is, like, where you're at. I'm not gonna pretend like I do. But if you can find a little thing that makes you. If you can find some. If you can find something that makes you enough money and leaves you enough time to write and see your family and your friends, then just start. Then just, like, maintain you. I think I'm figuring it out. Little bit. I'm not saying I've fully figured it out, but I'm like, I'm, like, getting a little. For a long time, I've been thinking about, like, okay, how do I remain ambitious and remain wanting more for my life, but also be happy at the same time? And I'm getting little hints of maybe figuring it out. And I think the. The key. And it's harder when you're younger, it's easier when you're older. But the key is, like, just start loving your life right fucking now. Like, don't, like, don't wait for a thing to happen. Don't wait for an amount of money. Don't wait for some kind of external circumstance. Just start. Love it. Just like every night when you go, like, anything good, like if you're eating a fucking sandwich or you're applying to a thing or you get a. You get a. You're from your finance job. You get a. You look at your bank account and you get your direct deposit. Or you. You're sitting in your house, whether you're water or your coffee or whatever you're writing, just is. Anytime you get anything, just go, I have a good life. Anytime you get anything, just go, I have a good life. I still want more. I want to make more money. I want to write more. I want to explore more. I want to develop my relationship. I want more sandwiches. I want to do all this stuff. But. And I'm gonna do it, but I just, like, don't fucking wait to, like, love your life. I. So. So the trend. So that's how I would phrase your transition.

[Mike]

I appreciate it. That's a good way to look at. Yeah, I think I'll use that. I appreciate that.

[Lyle]

Good, good. Yeah, it's real out here. I get you.

[Austin Corey]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That reminds me, I'm just gonna say this Real fast. Because.

[Lyle]

Go ahead.

[Mike]

Just right on that. That reminds me of, like, advice I heard. Like, if you, if you loved yourself, you treat yourself like someone you love. You know what I mean?

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah. I've been trying to dive more into that, you know.

[Austin Corey]

That's good, man.

[Mike]

It's, it's tough. But you should love your life, and, man, I'm glad. It sounds like you're starting to love your life, man. You should. You're like a gecko and you get to talk to people all the time. That sounds like.

[Lyle]

I go in waves, man. I'm in a, I'm in. I'm. For the last couple weeks, I've been in a good wave and we'll see how long it lasts. But I, I, I don't want to go bad. I just don't want to go back. I just fucking don't want to go back.

[Mike]

Well, what, if you don't mind me asking, what sends you back? Or is that, or would you prefer the call to be more centered towards me?

[Lyle]

No, no, no, that's a good, that's a good question. What sends me back? Well, loneliness sends me back. A ds, a yearning sends me back. Letting my brain go too far away from reality sends me back. Binge eating sends me back.

[Mike]

Like, I get binge eating.

[Austin Corey]

That's.

[Mike]

I feel like a really. I, I mean, not to get super personal, but that's something I've actually dealt with for a very long time as well.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

I'm trying to think of advice I could give you there. I mean, again, I'm younger, so you probably got way better experience, like, working with it than I do, but trying to think, like, what works for me. Have you ever, you ever tried fasting?

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course. Yeah, definitely. It's hard.

[Mike]

Yeah. I, I'm just gonna say that's something I've noticed lately that has geared me more towards not wanting to eat as much. Like, oh, yeah, I notice when I don't eat it, when this is just like a quick thing I'll say. When I fast for a little bit, my brain works better and I've started to prefer that state towards binge eating. I, I think maybe, maybe you could write out or something like, what feelings you don't enjoy or enjoy about in the state of binge eating and the feelings you enjoy and don't enjoy about, like, eating well, and maybe frame them somewhere so you can see them every day, so you can remember, like, I don't prefer that state. I prefer this state. And this is why. But Maybe.

[Lyle]

You know what's. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. You know what's so funny, though, is. And so I'm not saying this to dismiss your advice. The, the. The. If I were to print out, like, If I were to do what you are saying and I were to print out and I were to, like, look like I had it on my phone, I was like, this. And I journaled. I was like, remember, this is how you feel when you're not binge eating. I could look at that, and if I'm binge eating, I could look at that and I could go, it doesn't. And it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how many times I've been back there. I could look at that and go, no, that's fucking bullshit. You know? Do you know what I mean? I have to. I have to. I have to be currently feeling it. Even if I felt it hundreds of times in the past, I have to be currently feeling it right now in order to be able to believe you. Do you know what I'm doing? I'm saying.

[Mike]

Yeah, no, I see exactly what you're saying. I don't know, man.

[Austin Corey]

Maybe.

[Mike]

Maybe embrace binge eating with something super heavy healthy, like you have like. Like you have, like, eggs, like boiled eggs. Those are pretty healthy. No, maybe you just have a jar of boiled eggs instead of liking something else.

[Lyle]

Listen, listen. I'm feeling okay right now. At some point, we're. I don't know when. And I honestly even think that accepting that this is going to happen is part of the thing, but at some point, fuck, I'm going to, you know, there's going to be another. At some point I'm going to freak out again and something bad's gonna happen and I'm gonna eat a pint of Ben Jerry's and whatever. But it will be okay. We'll go. It'll. We'll cycle. I'm thinking about. I always think about what that lady said on the podcast the other week or day or whatever, where it's like, life is like a spiral and you start in the middle and you go outward. I'm like, I know I'm. I know we're. I know these cycles. I know that they're not. I know we're coming back, but I've been down and come back for like 8 million times that I just know it's possible. And each time I don't, you know, jump off a fucking roof. You know, Each time I don't jump off a fucking roof. We get better at. We Just get better at life. We just keep getting better at life. Every. Every. I could keep trying better in a Jerry's Flavors. Folks, folks, every time you don't kill yourself, you get a little bit better at life. Every time. Every time you don't kill yourself.

[Mike]

I know you're laughing, but that's a good way to look at it. That's a win you have every. Every hour.

[Lyle]

What's your name again, man? Did I give you a name, or did you tell me your name?

[Mike]

You can call me Mike, man.

[Lyle]

Mike. Mike is. Nice talking to you. I. I think you're gonna be okay. I'm. You're. You got it. You're smart, guy.

[Mike]

Thank you, man. Thank you. Can I call you Gekko?

[Lyle]

You can call me Gecko.

[Mike]

Thank you, Gecko.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?

[Mike]

Always give someone the benefit of the doubt. No matter who you meet, always assume they know something you don't know, and you can find out by talking to them.

[Lyle]

I like it. Thank you very much.

[Mike]

Thank you, man.

[Lyle]

Mike. I appreciate.

[Mike]

Also, I saw your show in Nashville with Shaggy too. Dope. And it was really great.

[Lyle]

Oh, hell. Would you come back if I went there in 2026?

[Austin Corey]

Absolutely.

[Mike]

I would absolutely come back.

[Lyle]

Okay, cool. Yeah. Because I'm planning. I'm planning my 2026 tour, so hopefully people come. That'd be cool.

[Mike]

Dude. I. I. Dude, please. I mean, if you're feeling it, man. If you're feeling.

[Lyle]

Oh, no, no. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I wasn't feeling it for, like, a year, but now I'm feeling it again, so I'm excited. Okay. Yeah. And if I meet you, you could be like, I'm the guy. We talked about Appalachia and how I'm going through a crossroads.

[Mike]

I'll bring you a Gecko horror story.

[Lyle]

Oh, that sounds great. That sounds great. Okay. Beautiful. All right, well, I'm gonna come back to Nashville. We'll meet in person.

[Mike]

Nice. All right, beautiful. Good.

[Lyle]

Take care, Mike.

[Mike]

Take care, Gekko.

[Lyle]

There's Mike. He's a nice guy. Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators of some kind. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music, whatever. It is you do on TikTok. Doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world whatever it is that you do best. You can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live together.

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[Ed Helms]

Hey, everyone. Ed Helms here.

[Lyle]

And hi, I'm Cal Penn, and we're the hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.

[Ed Helms]

This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

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[Lyle]

I can see you as Mr. Darcy.

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Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett. Here, listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lyle]

Hey, guys, I'm gonna end this episode by doing some viewer mail. I've been enjoying the hy mail phone call approach, so let's do that. Let's read some viewer mail. And again, if you want to send in any viewer mail, you can send it to therapygeckomailmail.com and without further ado, let's read some viewer mail to end the gecko session today. Okay, this is from Klein. Subject I don't like being the quiet guy. Hey, Lyle. My name is Klein. For some reason, I often get referred to as being a quiet person. I don't have an issue with talking to people, but I don't initially start conversations, and I get confused as to why people find this to be an issue. I talk a lot around my friends, but I don't have the urge to strike up a conversation with strangers or people I don't know. I don't see awkward silences as awkward. I find silence peaceful, and yet I feel like it's expected in American culture to just talk to people. But I don't see much of a point in making small talk. I like to chime into conversations if I have something funny or interesting to say, but not if I don't see a reason to spout nonsense. I recognize that I'm more of an introverted person, but I don't like being labeled as the quiet guy. The label is almost always worded in a negative connotation, like it feels like people look at me and expect that I contribute more whenever I feel content and comfortable with how I act. Currently, do I just accept this label and learn not to take it so personally, or do I try to change and work on Talking more. I've gotten better at making small talk by asking questions, but I could probably work on it more if I wanted to. Thanks, Klein. You know, Klein, it's funny, cuz there are certain situations. I'll just talk about myself for a second. There's certain situations in which I feel very introverted and like, I don't really want to talk to people. Not even because I'm like, shy or nervous. But yeah, I'm with you about where I'm like. And I really feel the need to talk to these people or be a part of this conversation. Like, you know, if I want to talk to someone, I'll talk to them. If I don't really care that much, I won't. And it can feel weird sometimes. But I'm gonna. I'm gonna run a quote by you. It's a good quote. It's by some dead guy. Let's see. Let's see which dead guy this quote is by. I'll say the quote first. It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Who said that? Some fucking guy who's fucking dead. It is better to stay silent and be thought of. Who said that? That was. Was it throw. Oh, it was this guy, Arthur Burn. I think it was Arthur Burns. Wait, Abraham Lincoln. Okay. It's a bunch of different dead guys came together to say that. But it doesn't matter because it doesn't matter anyway. It's true. I do believe that in a sense. I do believe that, like, there is power to silence. And I've. Dude, I've noticed that if you're in a group of people and you're staying silent, if you choose. If you very strategically choose when to talk, people will actually listen to you. Whereas if you just keep fucking blabbering on and you're not even being intentional, nobody will. You know, it's like you'll get talked over. But I think, Yeah, I do think that you could learn to accept the label and not take it personally. You're asking if you should try to change and work on talking more. You could. I mean, is that something you really want to do? I think, I think you. You seem like you do like people. You don't seem like you are like a misandrist or anything like that. You don't seem like you hate being around people or you're violently shy or anything like that, but just that you kind of are like, I don't need to be in this conversation right now, but I don't I think. I think that even. Even introverted people, they want to connect with others, and I get the sense that you want to connect with others. You wrote here, you said, it feels like people look at me and expect that I contribute more whenever I feel content and comfortable with how I act currently. Do you feel content and comfortable with how you are currently? Because that's the most important thing. Like, there's two types of versions of you that you could be. You could be a guy who really wants to connect with people and really wants to be a part of these conversations, but it's just feeling a little shy and whatever. And that case, it might be better to. It might be good to kind of learn and force yourself to talk to other people. Or you could be a guy that's like, I'm just completely quietly confident in who I am, and I don't need to chime in on a useless conversation to prove that to anybody. So I would think about whichever one of those people that you really feel like you are inside and act accordingly. This is from Jake. Subject line, Ketamine saved me. Hey, Geck, Love ya. My name is Crash. It's, you know, people, the name in the email. Maybe I should just make all the emails anonymous or whatever. Who cares, Jake, Crash. Doesn't matter. Hi, Geck. Love ya. My name is Crash. Been a fan for a long time. I know the email is odd, but it stands for proof that UTH are revolving. Oh, he's talking about his email address. I'm not gonna read your email address. Okay, but anyways, Ketamine. I always thought it was just a dissociative, which it is, but I thought it meant, oh, you can't talk to your hands or whatever. But no, it turns everything wonky. It is the drug that when drugs are portrayed. It is the drug that when drugs are portrayed on movies. Okay, the way this email is written is a little difficult, so I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna read this. What is it? Ad hoc. Is that right? What does ad hoc mean? Ad hoc. Okay. Yeah, that sort of makes sense. Okay. Yeah, I think. Okay, I'm gonna read this. Ad hoc. I'm gonna just correct his errors in my. Okay. It is the drug that is similar to how drugs are portrayed on movies. It's a fever trip. It's a. It's a fever dream. It's a trip. But it has no bad side, no other side. It's heavy and light. It doesn't make sense, but it makes all the sense. It's Perspective. It can make you feel massive and tiny at the same time. I have heard of K therapy and boy, it's real. You won't have the ego death, but you will understand that we are the directors of life. Like a movie, it pulls back the curtain so that your perspective changes. I don't think you are depressed. I think you see it from the wrong angle. Some good K will change how you see things. The trip reminds me of traveling the surface tension bubble of a water the trip reminds me of traveling the surface tension bubble of water on a quarter. It's the whole thing, plus some without breaking. Anyways, love you, Geck. Your docs are amazing. You've been helpful to so many. Stay Green. Stay Lyle. Love Crash. Thank you. Crash. Did you write this while you were on the ketamine, were you doing ketamine? Were you doing like actual ketamine therapy? Or were you just like recreationally doing ketamine? Because I've been trying. I've been really considering I was gonna do that today. Making an appointment for ketamine therapy. I've been really thinking about it because, you know, as everyone who listens to this podcast knows, I won't shut the fuck up about existential stuff. And my understanding is that ketamine is helpful for depression and that it's helpful for those things. So I kind of want to give it a try. Yeah, I don't know. Well, if this, if this guy Crash says it's good, then I should do it. Maybe. Okay. This is from. Oh, here we go.

[Austin Corey]

All right.

[Lyle]

This is from Alison. Subject line Polyamory made me an alcoholic. Hello Geckman. You can call me Alison. I've been a long time enjoyer of your podcast and since you have been reading more mail, I thought I would throw my hat into the ring of stories. So to make a long story short, I am a third year engineer major and my dating experience this year has been insane. I have been dating my current boyfriend for three months now. A month ago he wanted to try having a threesome. For context, everyone involved in the school is involved in a club at my college that is known for being queer and having a ton of polyamory within. I am demisexual. I did not want to casually hook up with another person. For those who don't know what that means, demisexual is like someone who only wants to have a physical connection with somebody that they have a strong mental connection with. I used to not know what that means and I thought it was like a. Like I thought there was a new Sex thing that was like a demisex. Okay. That led us to figure out I needed to get a second boyfriend. And we quickly found a mutual friend that I fell head over heels for before starting the second relationship. The second boy mentioned talking to another friend, but that those plans weren't concrete at all. Flash forward a week. Boy two is love bombing me hardcore and I was eating it all up. Me and the two boys hang out to watch movies and you can guess what happened. Okay, alright.

[Austin Corey]

All right.

[Lyle]

The next day after and making it the next day after. Boy 2 makes it official with me, but he also makes it official with another girl. It kind of stung, but I chalked it up to jealousy. He then proceeds to stop messaging me as much and only posting the other girl, which ate away at my mental state. It is, isn't it? So fucking. This has been talked about to death. But like, isn't so fucking weird how much like, whatever, Facebook and Instagram and all that stuff has like, influenced all of our relationships and whatnot. I was constantly overthinking the situation, having anxiety attacks at work and coming home from my internship and drinking. It got to the point where I was constantly crying since I felt I was last place in a situation that should not have been a race. With encouragement from my roommates. And the first boy I called Boy 2 and broke shit off. It all sucked. With everything else going on wrong in my life and I still drink way too much, but at least I escaped that bad situation. Nothing against people who enjoy polyamory, it's just not for me. Wait a minute. So, okay, this is a little. The only reason this is a little funny to me is that like this whole time, like, what's up with the first guy? Okay, because. So you start dating, okay, so you're dating, you have your boyfriend, right? And then this other guy comes into place and then he gets a second boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever. And okay, so yeah, the second guy gets a girlfriend and then you're like, upset that he has another girlfriend and then you're like. And then you're like, I feel like I'm in last place in this situation. No, boy, the first boyfriend is definitely in last place in this situation. You're not in last place. The first boyfriend who is like coaching you through the breakup that is, you know, eating away at you. With the second boyfriend, he is in last place. You're in. You. You're in third place in this situation. You are not in last. The boy number one. I want to read his email. What's going on? With this guy. Because here's the thing. I don't. You don't seem like you're like into polyamory. I think if you were into poly. I think if you were truly okay with polyamory, you wouldn't be having anxiety attacks and overthinking the situation and, you know, having to drink to deal with the jealousy. I think you just. I think you just didn't like your current boyfriend and you liked this other guy and you thought you could handle this whole thing, but you couldn't. But no, you are not in last place. Boy number one is. Is in last place. I don't know. I don't know who boy number one is. Maybe he just wants to be friends with you and, you know, that's it. And you know, hopefully he's living his life and hopefully he's happy doing his thing. But yeah, sounds. Sounds like polyamory is not for you, which is totally fine. I'm sure that you will eventually find a. A boyfriend that is you like that. You could just be the have the one. Nothing wrong with just having the one. All right, I think that's it. Yeah, I think that's it. I think that's enough email. All right, Maybe we could do one more. Let's see if I can find a quick one. This is from Caden. Subject line. I got rid of my speech impediment with a septum piercing. Yo, my name is Caden, I'm 23 years old and two months ago I got my septum pierced. I've had a stutter since five years old and have always had a lot to say, accompanied with a lot of tongue biting and silence. Not giving my septum credit for helping me move past that phase of life, but rather the mindset I had when getting it. Who cares if they see me like this? For the longest time, I was extremely cautious with what I said and how I said it, which led me to orchestrate my thoughts, reactions and responses. Your show has helped tremendously. Not giving you full credit either. Lol. That's okay. You don't have to give me any credit. But listening to how imperfect and human each conversation is and your stance on entering and exiting the world has woken me up. Blackness. A snap, then back to blackness. Ugh. God, I wish I could forget about all that shit. That's alright. It's truly a beautiful thing. I've been giving more compliments. I've been talking with everyone comfortably. I'm not intimidated by people of a higher standing or status anymore. I can order my own fucking Food. They wrote that in all caps. My foundation in life is slowly being built by snippets of how you live life. And I've never been so at peace. Thank you. That was Kaden. I think what's going on with Kaden is that they're. They're realizing that nothing matters in a good way. Like, like an optimistic nihilism. I do kind of wish sometimes I could forget about the. I don't think that stewing in nihilism all day is good. I've noticed there is a lot of people out there who. They go years and years and years without, or even their entire life without thinking these existential thoughts. But not everyone is so, you know, not everyone's brain works that way. And some people, I, you know, some people could use some motherfucking existential thoughts, you know, but it sounds like it's. It's been really helpful for this person, Caden. You know, they're like, oh, I don't give a fuck anymore, when they said, I'm not intimidated by people of a higher status anymore. Yeah, dude, once you fucking bro. Once you, once you really, like, start to get it. I think all, like, status games are, like, nothing, like, because you realize that we're all on the level playing field of just, you know, being flimsy humans. Right? So I'm glad, I'm glad that these thoughts have been helpful to you, Kaden, and that you can order your own food. Hmm. Yeah, and I see what you mean. The stutter of, like, it's not. Maybe not, like, was your speech impediments related to, like, overthinking about how people see you? And maybe once you got the septum piercing, you were like, I don't really care how people see me at all. I think this has been the Therapy Gecko podcast. I think my name is Lyle. I think I'm gonna go. But leave some comments on the Spotify page. Share the podcast with your friends. Give it a thumbs up or a shake of the tail or whatever you gotta give it, Share it with your friends. Tell the world about the Therapy Gecko show. I hope you enjoy it. That's it. That's me. I'll be back again on the next episode. Send an email therapygeckomailmail.com that's therapy gecko mailmail.com thank you very much, Geck. Bless. See you guys around the universe. Ah, greetings from my bath festive friends. The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling.

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[Jemma Spake]

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