THERAPY GECKO – “I NEED TO SETTLE DOWN”
iHeartPodcasts | November 9, 2025
Host: Lyle (the Therapy Gecko)

Episode Overview

This episode of Therapy Gecko features two primary call-in conversations, both centered on themes of life transitions, growing up, relationships, and personal growth. Lyle, donning his signature green gecko persona, offers an unpolished, real-time, and often philosophical take on callers’ dilemmas. As always, listeners are treated to unfiltered stories about love, loneliness, existential anxiety, and the struggle to embrace life as it is.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Reconnecting with an Old Acquaintance: Austin Corey

[03:13–29:54]

Reunion and Reminiscing

• Austin, a previous acquaintance of Lyle from a tour in Grand Rapids, calls in (full name offered for comedic effect).
• The two reminisce about meeting after a show, getting high, and eating chili dogs together with Austin’s cousin.
• Austin shares that his cousin, also named Austin, was diagnosed with cancer after their meeting but is now cancer-free.
  • Quote [06:29, Austin]: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's… I believe he's all good now, so.”

Life & Work Updates

• Austin mows lawns and does landscaping, describing his job as easy and enjoyable, especially while high.
  • “It's a very easy job. I think it's easier to do while I'm high versus while I'm not high.” [09:36, Austin]
• Shares anecdotes about friendly customer interactions and the autonomy his job allows.

Reflections on Settling Down

• Austin expresses anxiety about needing to settle down as he approaches 30, reflecting on his current casual flings and the fear of missing the opportunity to start a family.
  • “Every day there's more and more girls our age that are getting knocked up and getting pregnant. And the first time I have a kid, I would like to hopefully have a kid with somebody that doesn't have a child already.” [11:40, Austin]

Lyle’s Perspective on Relationships and Timing

• Lyle pushes back on the urgency, arguing there’s still plenty of time.
  • “If I just, like… Whatever, for the next, what, seven years and I'll be 35 and I could meet a nice, you know, 30, 28, 29 year old lady, you know, and then, you know, 37, maybe we have kids.” [12:26, Lyle]
• Both agree there’s no need to rush into anything and that it’s better not to start relationships while still harboring feelings for someone else.

Real Talk on Casual Sex and Emotional Honesty

• Austin talks about a cycle of being unable to commit due to unresolved feelings for an ex.
  • “I'm just with the, you know, non-committed relationships because then you don't have to worry about, you know, hurting anybody or being hurt in return, you know?” [24:59, Austin]
• Lyle reframes the language around casual sex, lightening the mood:
  • [24:04, Lyle]: “Hey, listen, man, I got some bad news for you, Austin. That actually makes you a whore as well.”
• Both agree that meaningful connection is ultimately what’s missed, and that relationships involve risk and vulnerability.

Reflections on Freedom vs. Commitment

• Lyle talks about the balance between enjoying personal freedom and the desire for deeper connection.
  • “I'm crazy. I'm like, I'm gonna go to Iraq for a week or I'm gonna… But I guess ideally, whoever ends up being my partner probably, you know, is like, okay, like, knows that I'm like that and is on board for it.” [17:16, Lyle]
• Both realize their views on relationships and family may keep evolving.

Lighthearted Wrap-Up

• Austin pledges to see Lyle's shows again, and both recall their spontaneous, memorable night in Grand Rapids.
• Ends with Austin shouting out his now-healthy cousin and Lyle playfully noting these adventures might not happen once he has kids.

2. Navigating Transition and Creative Ambition: Mike from Appalachia

[34:10–59:25]

Life at a Crossroads

• Mike, 21, is about to graduate with a finance degree but has deep creative ambitions (writing horror stories).
• He describes his upbringing in Appalachia: a region marked by self-sufficiency, slower modernization, and isolation.
  • “I mean, my parents are a bit of an exception because they were both engineers, but… my high school had bring your tractor to school day.” [37:25, Mike]

Growing Up Online and Emotional Introspection

• Mike reflects on feeling like he grew up both in physical and digital isolation.
• His years spent “brooding” online led to deep creative introspection and, eventually, a passion for writing.

Facing Adulthood

• Mike’s main anxiety: the transition from student to adult, balancing a safe career in finance with his creative dreams.
  • “I'm passing the point of not being able to just not give a shit… I can either fall back… go home and play video games in my mom's basement and do nothing… or I can get out of that and seriously… have to work seriously to support myself with a finance career and then at the same time, you know, hold on to my dreams of writing.” [40:53, Mike]
• Lyle relates, sharing his own moment of reckoning after college.

Lyle’s Realistic Optimism

• Encourages Mike not to fear business ambitions or creative aspirations, and not to resent the necessity of making money.
  • “Money's real, you know? It's real. It's the thing that you use to… build a life for yourself. There's nothing inherently evil about wanting to go into business and try to make money.” [45:55, Lyle]
• Both discuss the persistence of familiar emotions across ages and the importance of being proactive about life satisfaction.
  • “Just start loving your life right fucking now… Don't wait for a thing to happen.” [51:18, Lyle]

Scenes of Struggle and Self-Compassion

• Both admit struggling with mental health—Mike talks about dopamine spirals; Lyle about binge eating.
• Exchange advice on approaching bad habits with compassion rather than guilt.
  • “At some point, fuck, I'm going to… freak out again and something bad's gonna happen and I'm gonna eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's and whatever. But it will be okay… Every time you don't kill yourself, you get a little bit better at life.” [57:32, Lyle]

A Final Takeaway

• Mike offers:
  • “Always give someone the benefit of the doubt. No matter who you meet, always assume they know something you don't know, and you can find out by talking to them.” [58:24, Mike]
• The conversation brims with mutual validation—classic Therapy Gecko warmth and candor.

3. Listener Mailbag

[63:38–73:03]

Lyle closes out with thoughtful, candid responses to listener emails on:

• Being the “quiet guy”: Lyle advises Klein to lean into authenticity and strategic silence, referencing a quote often misattributed to Abraham Lincoln:
  • “It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” [64:09, Lyle]
• Ketamine therapy for depression: Responds with curiosity and humor to a listener’s poetic reflection on ketamine experiences.
• A polyamory-induced crisis: Offers gentle, witty analysis of a listener’s failed attempt at polyamory and the resultant struggles.
• Overcoming a speech impediment: Responds to a listener whose septum piercing symbolized their journey to self-acceptance and social confidence.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On modern life’s clock:
  • “I could kind of Whatever, for the next… seven years and I'll be 35… There's room to like do this.” [12:26, Lyle]
• On risk, pain, and relationships:
  • “To really like build a thing or… allow yourself to whatever, you got to enter into something that both allows you to… That opens you up to an extreme amount of pain and then… also opens another person up to an extreme amount of pain… but that's all of life… High risk, high reward.” [26:22, Lyle]
• On creative ambition in adulthood:
  • “I have sadnesses and angers and ambitions and joys at 27 that I had when I was 20, 21… The emotions are still there. ... I'm more mature now. I have more information, I have more knowledge.” [47:48, Lyle]
• On embracing imperfection and starting now:
  • “Don’t fucking wait to, like, love your life. So the transition… that’s how I would phrase your transition.” [51:33, Lyle]
• On survival and self-improvement:
  • “Every time you don't kill yourself, you get a little bit better at life.” [57:54, Lyle]

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [03:13] – Austin reconnects with Lyle; memories of Grand Rapids
• [11:26] – Austin’s anxiety about dating and settling down
• [15:53] – The existential pressure to procreate
• [23:33] – Austin wrestles with his history of non-commitment
• [29:54] – Segment end; transition to next caller
• [34:10] – Mike’s call: creative tension, Appalachia background
• [40:53] – Describing adulthood as a crossroads/transition
• [47:48] – Reflections on how emotions persist through age
• [51:18] – Lyle’s advice: “Start loving your life right now”
• [57:54] – “Every time you don’t kill yourself, you get a little better at life”
• [63:38] – Mailbag: advice on being quiet, ketamine, polyamory crisis, and self-acceptance

Tone and Takeaways

Therapy Gecko episodes are raw, meandering, and peppered with self-deprecating humor, vulnerability, and moments of real insight. Lyle offers gentle guidance without judgment, suggesting that life, with all its risks and insecurities, is worth living boldly — or at least with a sense of humor about its messiness. Whether wrestling with existential purpose, lonely nights, family pressure, or the will to just keep trying, the message is the same: keep going, accept your cycles, and don’t wait to start loving your life.

Summary by segment, with timestamps and notable quotes for easy navigation — perfect for anyone seeking the heart of the episode without listening to every minute.