Gecko (Host) (89:19)
Thanks, Calum. Thank you, Calum. This a nice invitation. Well, first of all, listen, here's the thing about you being a. A drama queen and whatnot is like, listen, everyone's life is relative to theirs, and I've done this thing in my own life where I'm. I have the same thoughts as you where I'm like, am I being a drama queen? Whatever, Whatever, whatever. Listen, completely denying the existence of any of your feelings because there's people with worse feelings out there is. It's good to acknowledge that you have it good and whatnot. But at a certain point, it's just like, you know, you're just beating yourself up. It's not, like, helpful. It's like I fucking said to the caller earlier where I was like, shit, hold on. I fucking was going to make a connection and it just left my brain. Oh, yeah, it's what I said to the caller earlier where I was like, I'll have this thought in my head where I'll be like, why should I be happy? Or this or that, the other thing. And I don't think that's a productive. I have that same thought, and I don't think it's a productive thought to have. So I'm gonna say to you that I don't think it's a productive thought to have. There's definitely people out there who do. Who I think do need to kind of have some. And it's helpful to have some, like, perspective and be like, well, you know, it's helpful to have some perspective, but you're feeling a thing, and I think, you know, good to. It's okay to validate your own feelings. Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts about this. Yeah, it can be tough if you're, like a single guy and you want to go do shit. And, you know, you're. You're kind of navigating like, bro, this is the. This is the. The lone wolf ponderer versus the. The social butterfly kind of a thing, you know, and clearly you've met a lot of friends doing this car stuff. But there also comes a time where you have to look around the people you're with and be like, wait, are all my Friends, fucking complete assholes. And it's hard, cuz sometimes you're for all. Sometimes you look around and you're like, oh, shit, all of my friends are complete assholes. But they're there, you know, if I call them, they pick up. Are you. Are your asshole friends at least there? Because we all have people in our life who were like, yeah, this person kind of sucks, but, you know, I love them. They pick up the phone when I call them. They're. Who's around, they're in my life. They're not like, you know, you know, you have people who are kind of like on the peripheral and like, they kind of have their own life and they're doing that and you see them. And if those people are assholes, then it's like, well, that's. Who cares? You know, I'm not, I'm not gonna go out of my way to be friends with someone like that. But then you have people who are like, like, you know, they're like, in your life, you see them like kind of every day. You talk to them, like kind of every day. They're up to date on you and your existence. And maybe those people are kind of assholes, but those people are kind of like, you know, we all have like a. Someone who's kind of an asshole, but like, they're in our life, you know. I don't know if anything I'm saying is helpful, but. Hmm. I empathize with a lot of what you're talking about, Calem, in terms of, like, you know, you want, you want so much out of life, but you're also. You want a lot out of life. And that kind of isolates you in a way. And you're like, should I continue to isolate myself and go on this, like, journey, or should I kind of hang back and, you know, spend time with these wankers? I get what you mean. I'm kind of on the side of taking the journey, I think. You know, you're 29. You're not getting any younger. I'm always on the side of taking the journey. Even if you have to do it alone. I feel like you're, you're always gonna be glad you took the journey. If that's what this email is about. If this email is about, should I take the journey alone or not? I kind of. I usually think it's best to take the journey alone, especially because, again, you're not going to, you know, you're only going to get. It's only ever going to get harder in life to take These journeys, it's only ever going to get more difficult. I mean, listen to the fucking. I mean, look at. You're 29, right? You could, you, in two years, you could have a life where you travel around Europe alone for two years, get really depressed, try to kill yourself, and then at 35, you're like, with your beautiful girlfriend and you have a cat and everything's okay. You know, like life, life. Life works weirdly like that because you only ever know it looking back. But. Yeah, I don't know, after, like talking to a bunch of people and seeing like how people's lives kind of work out, you know, it seems like it can kind of take a lot of different turns. And so, I don't know, I'm with you on jumping, you know? Yeah. If you're wondering what the fucking point of life is, it seems like you. You gotta jump because I get like that too. Every fucking time. Every fucking time. I'm like, just like on my couch with my face down. I'm in my underwear, I'm laying around in trash and I'm like, I think I'm dying. That's me, like, like multiple times a week. I'm like, I think I'm. I think this is it. I think I'm done. I think I'm dying laying around in trash. And then I'm like, okay, I gotta go. I gotta. I gotta go do something crazy. And then I go. And that's, that's why, that's why I went to Iraq is just to be like, I gotta, I gotta remind myself I'm alive in some way, shape or form. And by the way, you don't know. You don't. You don't have to go to Iraq or go to Germany or go whatever to do that. You know, you can do any little thing that gets you out of your existence to do that. But Caleb, whatever it is that you can do to like metaphorically splash some water on yourself, it doesn't have to be a big thing. You don't have to, you know, cure cancer or whatever, but just make a little list of whatever you think you could do to kind of spiritually splash some fucking water on yourself and remind you that you're not dead is good. I hope that was remotely helpful. Okay, this is from Zach. Subject line, Help me decide. Yo, Mr. Geck, I'm 23 and I'm working a decent county job that's easy and routine. It's the best quality job I've had, but it's soul sucking and I can't See myself doing it forever. I've been thinking about going to community college for game development because I love the idea of making games and could see myself doing that happily. I spent almost a year making my first game to test. If it was just a phase, it's not great, but I'm proud of finishing it. Since then, I've fallen off and struggled to stay consistent on my own. Part of me feels like the structure of school could finally give me the discipline I'm missing. What's holding me back is worrying that a community college game dev program might not actually be that worth it. It's an. It's an industry where people kind of lean against going to college and it's more about your portfolio and knowledge. I'm afraid to potentially waste the money I've saved up because it took me a long time to build. Another thing. Holding me back is a classic fear of failure. So what do you think I should do? I wouldn't be able to do both at once. I have more thoughts, but this is too long. Why can't you do both at once? Is it just like. Is it just like that crazy of a job that it's like fucking like. Is it like an A? Is your county job like 80 hours a week? P.S. here's my first shitty game if you're curious. Okay, I'm gonna play this. Is this like a browser game that I can play? Infernal Ascent. Infernal Ascent is a fast paced vertical platformer where the player must rush against the heat to finish. Climb through a hellish gauntlet of fire, darkness, and deadly traps. As the flames rise beneath your feet. There's only one way to survive. Up. Okay, I'm gonna. I don't know how great of an audio experience it will be to listen to me play this game, but I'm gonna play it. Okay. Run game. Okay, this is on the Got it. Game engine. I'm gonna try to live speak myself playing this game. Okay, I'm hitting play. Okay. What the. Wait. What the fuck? Okay. Wasd. Okay, Okay. I died. I'm engulfed in flames. Okay, I'm trying again. I don't know if this is gonna make for a good podcast, but I'm. I'm playing this game. I'm collecting coins. I'm jumping. Fuck. All right. I died in flames again. Okay. I'm dressed as a little character that. He kind of looks like a Cyclops. I'm collecting a coin. I don't know if people can hear the. Oh fuck. I died again. Okay, alright. Honestly, already I Don't know, I just. I like platformers. I'm a big fan of, like, Mario Maker and Super Meat Boy and shit like that. So I'm already addicted to this, I guess. To answer your question, while I'm playing your game. Wait. Fucking. Okay. All right. I don't know a lot about the game. Shit. Fuck. I don't know a lot about the game development. Okay, you can, like, climb walls? Is that what this is? Okay, I fucked up, but can you climb that? All right, anyway, I'll play more of this when I'm not recording a podcast, but. Well, so here's the thing is, I guess the community college. Yeah, I. Well, I lean against going to college for, like, this, only because, like, I mean, you made a game, right? And we live in a world where if you want to make money making your own video games, you can do it. But, like, I don't. This is not an industry I know a lot about, but it's like, you. You know, there's fucking Steam. There's never been a. There's Steam. There's never been like, an easier universe to just like, make a game and have people play it and, like, you know, make your games and market them and, like, I don't know how people make money doing that. And I don't know if it's like, I don't really know what the deal is, but this is like, you're starting a business, right? And so if I were you and I wanted to. If I were. If. Here's the thing, if I were you, I would take the risk. I don't know how I feel about game development college. It's. It's similar to how I feel about, like, film school, which is like. I mean, you can spend like. Like there's programs out there that's like, yeah, you can totally spend like, hundreds of thousands of fucking dollars to go to film school. And it's like, bro, with the money, like, let's say I don't know how much this community college program is. If it's like, I don't. I don't. I don't know how much community college programs are, but let's. I'm going to throw a number out there. Let's say it's like 50 grand or some, right? If you're about to spend 50. If you. I think the idea of you spending the money, of you investing the money that you've saved up into your game development career is a good idea, but I don't think that game development school is the best way to do that because, like, you know, again, I don't know anything about the game industry, but, like, you know, it costs money to make a game. I'm sure it costs money to market a game. Like, I would just, like, you know, making. I mean, think about all those filmmakers who are like, I didn't go to film school. I spent the money I would have spent going to film school to actually make a movie. And so if I were you, if I was going to do this, I would spend that. I would allocate that money on making the game. Don't waste all. Don't spend all of your money on it. Like, like, you don't want to, like, set aside some money, like, what, like an emergency fund and, like, make it so that you're not, like, fucking kicking yourself for this. But, like, you know, it's okay to spend a little bit of money to be like, I'm gonna. I have this game idea that I want to really throw myself into marketing and making and doing. So I don't think it's a bad idea. But spend as little money on it as you can, right? I mean, how much you have the software already to make the game. I don't know how much money it costs to, like, market something like this or to, you know, run ads or, you know, like, I don't. I don't know. I don't know what's involved in it, but I. But you should go for it in some sense because. Because, you know, you're so young. Like, you can always get another job. You know, it's worth it to try. I think it's worth it to try. And you don't have to go broke trying. And I wouldn't go. Try to go broke trying, but.
