Therapy Gecko - Episode: “I USED TO BE TROUBLE” Release Date: June 22, 2025
Host: Therapy Gecko (iHeartPodcasts)

Episode Overview

In the “I USED TO BE TROUBLE” episode of Therapy Gecko, the unlicensed lizard psychologist Gecko engages in deep, introspective conversations with callers Erica and Otter. These dialogues delve into themes of personal struggle, growth, mental health, and the transformative power of relationships and self-acceptance. The episode offers listeners a candid exploration of overcoming adversity and finding hope amidst chaos.

Conversation with Erica [02:15 – 54:12]

Background and Upbringing in Bakersfield

Erica opens up about her tumultuous upbringing in Bakersfield, California, highlighting exposure to gang culture and family instability.

• Erica [04:27]: “My high school, everything was gated, and you had to call security to take you to the bathroom because people were setting trash cans on fire or fighting.”

Erica describes a chaotic family environment with an uncle constantly in and out of prison and frequent domestic disturbances.

• Erica [05:03]: “All of my family is, like, always in and out of prison. Ghetto stuff like that was my normal.”

Military Service and Medical Discharge

Seeking an escape, Erica joined the military, serving six years as a helicopter mechanic aboard aircraft carriers. Her time in the military was a period of significant personal growth until she faced a medical discharge due to a brain condition.

• Erica [06:02]: “I had a blast. I was a helicopter mechanic... traveled the world.”

• Erica [07:00]: “I have this brain condition where the veins at the bottom of my brain are narrow, causing pressure and migraines.”

She shares the arduous process of being medically discharged, involving medical boards and extensive paperwork.

Transition to Civilian Life and Education

After leaving the military, Erica worked as an office manager for a problematic pool construction startup but eventually lost her job due to financial mismanagement. She then utilized VA benefits to pursue a bachelor’s degree in health science alongside her husband.

• Erica [10:06]: “I started to use my VA benefits to go to school. I'm pursuing my bachelor's in health science.”

Family Relationships and Personal Struggles

Erica discusses her strained relationships with her parents and sister. Her father cut off contact during her medical discharge, and her sister actively sabotaged her happiness, leading Erica to sever ties.

• Erica [15:51]: “My dad called me and was like, I never want to speak to you again.”

• Erica [16:33]: “My older sister... tried to sabotage my happiness.”

Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms

Erica reveals her battle with crippling depression, exacerbated by past trauma and recent realizations about her childhood. She highlights the positive impact of antidepressants, therapy, journaling with ChatGPT, and somatic yoga in her journey toward healing.

• Erica [20:21]: “I have this amazing life, but it's still so hard to be in the moment.”

• Erica [42:44]: “I was doing the ChatGPT and journaling and that's been amazing.”

Shift Towards Positivity and Future Goals

Erica shares her aspirations to become a stay-at-home mom, made possible by an agreement with her husband to complete their education first. She credits her relationship and newfound mental stability for her positive outlook.

• Erica [12:02]: “I want to be a stay-at-home mom after. We both are pursuing our degrees together.”

• Erica [20:35]: “What consciousness comes into a body... I believe there are different dimensions.”

Notable Quotes

• Erica [12:27]: “The first time I hung out with him, there was fireworks, it felt like a movie.”
• Erica [38:12]: “I want to be a parent and do some shit.”

Conversation with Otter [56:23 – 98:34]

Personal Struggles and Turning Point

Otter, a 31-year-old software engineer, discusses his battles with shyness, anxiety, depression, and the devastating loss of his mother to cancer. He describes reaching a critical point where he recognized the need to seek help.

• Otter [58:00]: “My mom was diagnosed with cancer, and she passed away 11 months later. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through.”

Journey to Recovery

Through therapy, medication (Lexapro), increased physical activity, and social engagement, Otter experiences significant improvement in his mental health. He emphasizes the importance of hitting rock bottom to climb back up.

• Otter [67:31]: “Sometimes you need to hit a rock bottom in order to climb.”

Rebuilding Social Life and Relationships

Otter shares his proactive steps to overcome social anxiety, including attending speed dating events and using Bumble BFF to make new friends. His efforts lead to meaningful relationships and a sense of community.

• Otter [65:20]: “I ended up going on at least one date per week and usually two dates per week for about three months.”

Philosophical Insights and Personal Growth

The conversation touches on the concept of the "future self," manifestation, and the interplay between internal beliefs and external actions. Gecko and Otter discuss how positive thinking and behavior changes can reshape one’s reality.

• Otter [75:37]: “If you have the internal belief that you can change, then you take the external action of putting yourself out there.”

Notable Quotes

• Otter [66:54]: “There's a light at the end of the tunnel for me.”
• Otter [73:28]: “I just feel like I'm riding that high since.”

Final Thoughts and Closing [97:02 – End]

Gecko reflects on the powerful stories shared by Erica and Otter, emphasizing the importance of resilience, self-improvement, and the impact of supportive relationships. The episode concludes with encouragement for listeners to pursue their personal growth journeys and maintain hope.

• Gecko [97:19]: “You can have hope that things will change and that a future self exists.”

Key Takeaways

1. Overcoming Adversity: Both Erica and Otter exemplify how individuals can navigate through severe personal challenges, such as dysfunctional family environments, military discharge, and profound loss, to find stability and purpose.

2. Mental Health Importance: The episode underscores the critical role of mental health support systems, including therapy, medication, and personal coping strategies like journaling and yoga, in healing and personal growth.

3. Power of Relationships: Positive relationships and supportive partnerships play a pivotal role in fostering resilience and encouraging individuals to pursue their goals and aspirations.

4. Self-Improvement and Agency: Taking proactive steps, such as seeking education, engaging in social activities, and challenging negative self-beliefs, can transform one's life trajectory.

5. Hope and Future Orientation: Maintaining hope and believing in the possibility of a better future can drive individuals to take meaningful actions towards personal fulfillment and happiness.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Erica [04:27]: “I thought this was normal.”
• Erica [07:00]: “It was like a whole process.”
• Erica [12:02]: “...as long as I'm educated beforehand.”
• Otter [58:00]: “It was the hardest thing I've ever been through.”
• Otter [66:54]: “There's a light at the end of the tunnel for me.”
• Gecko [97:19]: “You can have hope that things will change and that a future self exists.”

Therapy Gecko provides a platform for candid conversations, allowing listeners to connect with real-life stories of struggle and triumph. "I USED TO BE TROUBLE" serves as a testament to the human spirit's capacity for resilience and transformation.