Therapy Gecko – “I’M AN ADULT FILM PRODUCER”
Podcast: Therapy Gecko (iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)
Date: December 17, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, Lyle (Therapy Gecko) takes a call from Jack, a 41-year-old adult film producer who specializes in fetish content. The conversation delves deep into Jack's background, how his tumultuous childhood shaped his worldview—especially around trust, relationships, and the adult industry—and reflects on themes of loneliness, family trauma, legal fears, and cynicism about love and marriage. Lyle offers compassionate, “armchair” therapy, encouraging Jack to reflect on his past and the ways those experiences color his present. The episode closes with a contrastingly uplifting call from Sam, who recently left a toxic marriage, moved to LA, and found a new life.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Jack’s Background and Entry Into Adult Film Production
- Fetish Producer: Jack has been making fetish-oriented adult content for 17 years, starting at age 26 after a failed stint at day trading (02:38–06:02).
- Origin Story: His interest in bondage dates back to childhood; early incidents, like tying up a crush during “Kite Day” in kindergarten, hint at longstanding fascination (08:06–08:34).
- Industry Evolution: Jack notes increased censorship and changing cultural attitudes. Even relatively mild content (like the phrase “tickle torture”) is now restricted (06:31–07:53).
“You used to be able to make jokes… you can’t do that anymore in any of the sites. They’ll immediately ban you.” — Jack, 06:38
- Types of Fetishes: Discusses everything from standard bondage to balloon fetishes (10:10–10:47).
2. Family Trauma and Worldview
- Divorce and Domestic Turmoil: Jack's parents divorced following a domestic violence accusation against his father (03:33–05:26). Jack describes siding with his dad, being disowned by his mother, and a childhood filled with conflict.
- Impact on Relationships: The trauma of witnessing his father’s arrest and familial fracture deeply shaped his distrust of women, law enforcement, and authority (11:09–12:07, 12:36–13:29).
- Men’s Rights and Avoidance of Marriage: Jack became a self-described early men’s rights activist, citing legal risks as the chief reason he'll never marry or embrace traditional family forms (13:30–16:28).
“I’ve never gotten married because of it. I’ll never get married. No way. I have my opportunities, but I don’t want to. It’s too much of a risk.”
— Jack, 13:29
3. Jack’s Philosophy on Love, Trust, and Vulnerability
- Deep Distrust: Jack believes the legal system is biased, marriage is a “bad contract,” and love is corrupted by potential legal and financial ruin (16:28–21:26).
- Protective Choices: Emphasizes “controlling risk”—plans to become a parent via gestational surrogacy, refusing to risk custody and assets in marriage (16:28–19:41).
“I just don’t want all my money taken from me… I would just be living my life on the edge, like, waiting for the other shoe to drop.” — Jack, 46:59
4. Social Life, Loneliness, and Community
- Industry Friendships: Adult industry acquaintances are mostly transactional; Jack keeps relationships professional, noting high turnover and the challenges of age gaps (24:06–25:18).
- Loneliness: Admits to sometimes feeling lonely, especially after losing friends over political divisions and after his father’s death—but thinks about building his own family (22:15–23:06).
5. Lyle’s Armchair Therapy: Challenging Worldview & Trauma
- Empathy & Gentle Challenge: Lyle empathetically suggests that Jack is “holding a knife in his chest”—that is, living with unprocessed trauma and a fixed, negative worldview that filters his reality (43:05–44:29).
- Core Insight: Lyle posits that clinging to formative pain creates a self-reinforcing filter: “You find whatever you’re looking for” (26:30–28:46).
“I think that, like, I’m a gigantic believer that you find whatever you’re looking for… If you walk around being like, you know, women are pieces of shit and people in general are liars…”
— Lyle, 27:51
- Jack’s Rebuttal: Jack is adamant his stance is a rational response to legal realities, not merely trauma, though he concedes the pain is inextricable from his perspective (44:48–46:38).
- Binary Thinking: Lyle tries to encourage more nuance, suggesting Jack is locked into a binary “eyes open/eyes shut” way of interpreting experience and pain (54:07–54:14).
6. Jack’s Family Ties & Hope for Change
- Current Relationships: Sibling and mother relationships are strained, but Jack expresses love and a sense of duty, still wishing for connection (33:25–36:18).
- Therapy Experiences: He’s tried traditional therapy but felt misunderstood, often judged for his profession or felt therapists sided with his mother (38:19–40:51).
7. Broader Reflections on Gender & Society
- Gender Wars: Lyle flags the intensification of gender conflict online, noting it’s unproductive: “The constant dick measuring contest of, like, which struggle is worse…is unproductive” (49:06–50:39).
- Jack’s Perspective: Believes feminist-driven laws have undermined families; feels powerless to change the cultural or legal tide (51:01–51:54).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- [06:38] Jack: “You used to be able to make jokes… you can’t do that anymore in any of the sites. They’ll immediately ban you.”
- [13:29] Jack: “I’ve never gotten married because of it. I’ll never get married. No way.”
- [14:07] Jack (on divorce): “We had a large mutual fund…my mother would not sign the papers…so we lost, like…”
- [16:28] Jack: “If I ever have children, it’ll be via gestational surrogacy. No one's taking my children.”
- [27:51] Lyle: “I’m a gigantic believer that you find whatever you’re looking for.”
- [43:25] Lyle: “You’re just holding, holding on to something, man. Did that resonate with you?”
- [46:59] Jack: “It could happen to me…I could be with a girl and she could just call the police…or get bored with me and divorce me and then ruin my life.”
Key Segment Timestamps
- Jack’s Introduction & Career Beginnings: 02:38–06:02
- Definitions & Fetish Discussion: 08:00–10:47
- Family Dysfunction Origins: 03:33–05:26; 11:09–13:29
- Marriage, Law & Men’s Rights: 13:29–21:26
- Friendships & Loneliness: 22:15–25:18
- Armchair Therapy — Trauma, Trust, and Letting Go: 25:36–46:59
- Gender Wars & Society: 49:06–51:54
- Closing Reflections: 52:04–54:50
Second Call: Sam — “Rebuilding After a Toxic Marriage”
[58:49–75:29]
Overview
Switching gears, the mood brightens when Lyle talks to Sam, a recently divorced woman who moved across the country and found a thriving new social life and relationship.
Key Points
- Leaving Toxicity: Sam ended a 10-year abusive marriage, moved from Florida to LA, and rebuilt her life (60:29–61:39).
- New Beginnings: Thanks to an old friend, she found community, happiness, and a healthy new partnership (62:01–63:52).
- Healing Timeline: Sam reflects on happiness in her late 20s/early 30s after years of struggle: “This is the most beautiful season of my life thus far.” (66:16)
- Contrast in Healing: Her story offers a foil to Jack’s—showing it’s possible to create joy after trauma.
“I have so many friends now. I didn’t have any friends where I lived before…I have a new relationship that’s so much better. It’s crazy how much my life has improved in one year.”
— Sam, 60:53
Episode Tone and Final Reflection
The episode travels from defensive cynicism and guarded pain to hope and creative renewal. Lyle’s empathy and quirky humor soften the intensity, especially in his concluding exchange with Sam—where the discussion playfully spirals from life growth to orgies in Scottish castles to Beauty and the Beast.
Lyle’s parting words to Jack:
“I genuinely sincerely hope that you find some semblance of peace and happiness in your life. I really do.” (52:04)
Lyle, reflecting alone:
“That guy was just holding on to a lot…and just wouldn’t let it go. I don’t know how to get someone to let it go. But, fuck, man…that’s a bummer. I hope he’s alright. I just want world peace and a giant chicken parmesan sub.” (55:39)
Summary Table of Notable Quotes
| Time | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|-----------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 06:38 | Jack | “You can’t do that anymore… they’ll immediately ban you.” | | 13:29 | Jack | “I’ll never get married. No way.” | | 16:28 | Jack | “If I ever have children, it'll be via gestational surrogacy.” | | 27:51 | Lyle | “You find whatever you’re looking for.” | | 43:25 | Lyle | “You’re just holding, holding on to something, man… did that resonate with you?” | | 46:59 | Jack | “I would just be living my life on the edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop.”| | 66:16 | Lyle/Sam | “This is the most beautiful season of your life thus far.” | | 70:22 | Sam/Lyle | (On castles) “Should it be in the ballroom?” “Yeah, where the balls are at.” |
Closing Thoughts
The episode offers a powerful juxtaposition between holding onto pain and the possibility of genuine transformation. It asks: How much of our worldview is our past, and what does it take to write a new story?
For listeners:
Expect a raw, meandering, emotionally complex conversation—swinging from the darkness of familial estrangement and trust wounds, to laughter about orgies in Scottish castles and heartfelt encouragement on finding joy after hardship.