Lyle (64:19)
Hey, what's up everybody? How's it going? It's Lyle and I'm here to end the episode by reading some viewer mail. But before I do that, I want to do a little thing. I want to let you guys know that I am currently in the process of planning another tour for 2026. This would be my fourth time taking therapy Gecko on the road. I'm really excited to get back out there. I took a long break from doing shows and I feel like I have had adequate time to rest and chill and now I'm ready to get back out there and hit you guys with some some stories from my life and combine that with some stories from the audience's life and, you know, have a good time and do some shows. So if the idea of coming to a live show interests you, you can click the link in the episode description. I have a link that allows you to sign up for a text alert. It's very helpful to get the word out to people about the shows. If you sign up for a text alert, that will let you know when I am coming to your city and it will let you know when I drop the tour dates. So go in the Lincoln of the Go into the episode description of the podcast. I don't know why I'm stumbling over my words today, but go into the episode description of the podcast, put your phone number or email in there so that I can let you know when I'm coming to your city in 2026, and especially if you live in New York City, because I'm going to try to start up a kind of a regular recurring show between now and that tour to kind of get some material together and practice being back on stage. But anyway, let's get into some geck mails. This is from Marcos Subject line. I ran my first marathon with my 62 year old day. Hello, Geck. I hope you are doing all right. We had talked before. I was the caller who destroyed your optimism with the meta glasses convo. I think I remember that. I think that was a conversation where I was being optimistic about the rejection of new technology. And then you told me you bought the meta glasses, and I was like, okay, well, we're fucked anyway. On October 5, I ran the Twin Cities Marathon with my father and two brothers. My father has ran many before in his prime, and he's always wanted to run one with his three sons. That was my main motivation to sign up. Oh, that's cute. So I start training in January, and I was very impressed with how far I can run. I felt limitless, as if I awoke a new potential within me. Race day came and I felt hella nervous. Everything was going fine until mile 19. I was lagging behind and they had started taking down the mile markers. So for the next six miles, I had no idea how much further to go, and I was in all sorts of pain. My mom decided to join me and my dad on the last portion of the race to motivate us. Thankfully, I made it to the finish line with one last sprint. I finished in 7 hours and 30 minutes, and I would do it again. Oh, shit, man. Seven hours of running. That's incredible. Crazy. Shout out to my wife for supporting me the whole time. Shout out to my family for being there at the end of the finish line. Congratulations, Marcos. That's cool. I don't know why I'm making everything about me, but I'm. I. I'd like to run a marathon one day. I don't know. I don't know if I'm ever gonna do that. I don't like running. I like walking. Like, I would. I could easily. I mean, I don't know about easily, but like, if you were like, hey, you want to go on a 50 mile walk? I'd be like, sure. That sounds like it could be fun. You know, I like a nice pace, but a run is like, if I don't have anything to run from, I don't really want to run. But I'm glad that you did it. Someone's got to do it. I think. You know what always confused me is the like. Like the breast cancer awareness walks and like, not specifically breast cancer, but you know what I mean, where it's like, walk for diabetes, walk for cancer type of stuff. Like when we were growing up, I mean, I'm sure they still do it, but. Because I always thought I was like, I. When I was a kid, I thought that somehow the walking itself cured the cancer. And now I realize, no, you pay. I think this is how you work. You pay. I've never ran one of these things, but you pay money and then you do the walk and then they donate the money to like a cancer research place. But don't. Wouldn't. You don't have to do the walk. You can just do the. Give the money. It should be called money for. Should be called money for cancer. Folks, I'm going on tour. It's going to be great. No, I'm. Yeah, that sounds. Sounds good. I'm glad you did that. Okay. Interesting. This is from Shade subject line, unhappiness while happy. Hey, Lyle, I've been wanting to message you forever. You can read my silly email name if you'd like, but I'll go by Timothy. Okay, I'll call you Timothy. I have everything a man could say they want, but I'm pretty chronically unhappy. I have a fiance and we had a baby recently. She's a. She's a year and a half old and the light of my life. And we have two cats and a dog. The worst thing about my living situation is living with my fiance's mom, who is 70 and always talks in a baby voice and pushes boundaries by always just being in our grill and being hella overbearing. I live in Texas where weed is illegal. I got in trouble twice consecutively for the penjamin and bud after that six year debacle. All I wanted to do when I was 26 and done with that was travel. Wait, hold on. After that six year debacle, did you get. Did you get thrown in jail? What is the six year debacle? I'm gonna assume you got thrown in jail. I don't. Okay. Anyway, all I wanted to do when I was 26 and done with that was travel. I've already traveled a lot as a kid to New York and London, but not nearly as much as I wanted to, but almost right after I got off probation. Okay, there it is. I got with my fiance and we made our baby. Who is my mini me? That's cute. I have a chronic case of wanderlust and I'm diagnosed bipolar, depressive and insomniac. I deal with this by smoking and drinking constantly. I know it's a terrible way to self medicate and I need to probably just get on meds like you instead of killing my liver faster with alcohol. I'm not. I'm not on any SSRIs? I take stimulants and they're fucking great. But anyway. But I've also had plenty of times where I was trying to. I also self medicate severely with, you know, weed and alcohol and masturbation. So, you know, I mean, we can. We can kind of go eye to eye on this. I probably need to get on meds like you instead of killing my liver faster with alcohol. But it's a remedy that's right there, and it's become habitual. That's the. Dude that's. One of the hardest things about, like, taking fucking meds is you go to the doctor and the doctor's like, okay, we have a thing and it might make your situation a little bit better or it might make it way worse and you have to take it for three months to find out. That's like what getting on SSRIs is like. And then. And then alcohol is like, hey, you want to make the. You want to make that shit stop right fucking now? Obviously you. You know, it's not a good idea. You go into. You go into a form of emotional debt. But again, I'm not gonna say I don't get it. I yearn for the empty roads, for the sights, for the feeling of living something I should have at a younger age. I'm only 29 now, but in 18 years, when my baby is bigger, I'll be damn near 50. My life as a kid was pretty traumatic, so substance abuse issues when I was a kid were prevalent. But now it's just the beer. My dad died drinking and driving when I was 8. And my dad's dad was a Vietnam vet who had PTSD and hardcore depression. He drank himself to cirrhosis of the liver. I can't follow these assholes to a young grave. Mostly for my daughter, but also I always told myself I'd break the cycle. And here I am looking my daughter in the face, debating when to take the first drink of the night closer to bedtime. I have a lot more to talk about, and this isn't laid out the best, but thanks, Geck, for everything you do. I've been listening for five years and any advice, I would be great. You know, Well, a few things. I mean, this is definitely real therapist stuff, but I do have thoughts, you know, I will have a lot of. I have a lot of thoughts. Why? I want to know. Why are you unhappy? Because I'm thinking about times in my life where I've like, self medicated with alcohol or weed or whatever it is, and it's because I was unhappy, because I was really stressed and, you know, like you said, it's right fucking there, you know, and then all these, like, external. The mere presence of external things in your life, like your fiance and your baby and your. Your job and whatever it is, like the mere presence of positive, external things in your life is useless if you can't. If you don't have the internal shit figured out to, like, appreciate them and like, dive into them, you know? I mean, it also sounds like you. I mean, yeah, you definitely have some kind of like, biological issue going on that you got to talk to a professional about. And I. I'm trying to think of, like, advice just from my own experience of, like, depression and substance shit. I mean, you definitely. You're doing way better than your dad and your dad's dad did. Doing way better. Doing way better than your dad and your dad's dad did. A. Because you're not. I hope you're not drinking and driving. You're not dead. And you see, I don't know. Something. I don't know your dad. I don't know your dad's dad, but I don't know if your dad and your dad's dad ever had the self awareness to, you know, send an email to a lizard asking for advice. You know, I mean, that's a bare minimum amount of self awareness that it seems like you have. And I. And that's the whole thing, right? It's like knowing you have a problem is part of solving the problem. So that's good. You seem to know a lot about yourself, Timothy. You seem to know a lot about yourself, which is great because some people, they're just floating, right? Like, you know, you're just getting drunk just because there's nothing else to do. And you're fucking floating and you're, you know, just feel like you're drowning. But you got a lot of good information, you know. You know that what you're experiencing is part of a cycle from your family. You know, that you love your daughter. Some people don't know that. Some people don't. Some people, like, look at their kid and they're like, I don't know if I like, if I love this kid or. Some people look at their significant other and they're like, I don't know about this person. But you see, you know, I could tell that, you know. You know, that you like to travel. That's great. You know what you don't want, you know, you want to be a good dad, you know, you Want to be a good husband, you know, you want to. You know, you want to get better. That's the thing. Some people don't want to get better or they don't even know what the f. They don't even have, like, roles to slip in. I feel like that's a big thing that people get just. People get lost to. You know, they don't have a. They don't have somebody to be a good father to or to be a good husband to, or they don't have a. A thing in life to even, like, show up to. But you've got some stuff that you know, in your gut is worth showing up to. And so if I had to give any advice to this email, I would say, like, well, okay, you know, make a list or at least a mental note of these things that you want to be and you want to show up to and, you know, go from there. Because I don't think you. I don't know if you can just. Not a. I'm not a life coach or anything like that, but I'm just, like, talking out of my ass here. But I don't know if you can just, like, stop drinking or stop whatever your negative behavior is. I think, at least in my case, I've always had to replace it with something else. Like if I'm like. Like, for example, like, if I'm addicted to porn or I'm addicted to, like, whatever it is, and. And I'll notice if I'm in the. If I'm doing something that's positive or I'm, like, fulfilling one of my positive values or whatnot. I'll be like, oh, it's been two days since I've jacked off and I didn't even have to try, you know, because you're busy on something else. I think that wanderlust shit, because I have that too. I think that comes from like a. We talked about it earlier in the episode, like, you want to the world, you know, and sometimes. Sometimes, yeah, you just want. You just need a change of state. Or you're just like, dude, I'm trying to verbally express a feeling I have in my gut right now. And maybe some people understand it, but, like, yeah, sometimes that manifests in, like, beautiful stuff, and the other times it manifests in drinking yourself to death. But that was a whole rant and ponder. I don't know if that was. I don't know if this was helpful to you in any way, Timothy, but that's my takeaway. I don't know if this is helpful for you just having somebody else read this. But my main takeaway from this is that in your email you have line. You have outlined things that you care about and so you have a direction. I'm. I can't give you advice on. I mean, I. I can't give you advice on like how to move in that direction, but I can just tell you my perspective reading this email is that you have a direction which is more than most people have. So, you know, take a look at that. I hope that was helpful. Okay. Oh, here's. Oh, this. Oh, I read this one off. Off the mic. Just like when I was. I was just look at the Geck mail on my phone and I thought it was really funny. I took a screenshot of this and I sent it to my group chat with my friends. It got nine laugh reacts. Okay, this is from Tom. Subject line. And this is from Tom. It just says, hey, Geck. Just wondering why every episode is about sex. Lately everyone just talks about sex. There isn't any therapy happening here. Just talking about sex used to be really cool and interesting stories told. Now it's just sex. Hope it gets interesting soon, exclamation point. I don't know what to tell you, Tom. People really. People really like having sex. It's one of the main things. It's. It's. It's real. Sex is really our only. It's the only like, logistical meaning of life. I think because we're humans, we try to kind of come up with other things and they always end up leading back to sexual. But yeah, that's what our. That's like our biological function. Stay alive, reproduce. Humans are interesting. We figured out a way to reproduce without the baby part. Isn't that interesting. We were like, wait, this just feels good. Let's just do it with it without the whole having a baby part. Isn't that crazy? Like biologically, we're supposed to reproduce once or I guess I don't like biologically. Every time you have sex, the purpose is to make a baby. Imagine if every time you had sex, you made a baby. That's what they used to do. But we're geniuses. We invented condoms, we invented contraceptives. And we were like, let's just do it just for fun. And so people are having fun now. It's fun times. You should try having sex, Thomas. It's nice. I'm not even. I'm not saying that as like a diss to you. You might have a lot of you might have. I actually think this, this emailer has so much sex that the reason they're tired of hearing about people talk about sex in the podcast is because they're like, I have sex so much in my regular life. I listen to the Therapy Gecko podcast to get away from sex. And in that case, Tom, I'm, I'm sorry, but, you know, I don't control what people say on here. I mean, I kind of do a little bit. I, you know, I'll edit out calls that I don't want to put in the podcast. But you know, sex is a universal concept. It's not even like a human universal concept. It's like a biological universal concepts. So you know it's gonna come up. That's all I'm saying. This is from Rollin. Subject line. 26 years old without social media. Hi, Gecko. I'm a 26 year old male and I know. And I no longer have social media or scroll away hours of my life on my phone. It's come with its drawbacks, but not really the ones you'd think. I've gotten a lot of my friends and family telling me to get off my high horse and I'm just trying to be different and better than all of them. What? That's crazy, by the way. You are better than all of them. I want you to know something. If you, and this goes to everyone, if you don't have social media, you, you are better than everyone else. If you don't have social media and you don't eat meat and, and you run five miles a day and you like, eat like fruits and vegetables, you're better than everyone else. You are objectively much better of a human being. If you, like, if you give to charity, like, you just, you just are, you're a better human being than everyone else. And I think, I think you get to, I think the reward, like, because it's a lot of work being better than everyone else and you know, it's a lot of work to remove yourself from your vices and like, try to do the things you're supposed to do. And part of the reward of that is that you just get, you get to be better than everyone else. It's a, it's a totally, totally fair system. That's why I don't care. I don't care if someone is pretentious to me about their achievements or about like, like if you, if we're talking and you're acting like you're better than me because you don't eat meat or you don't have social media, or whatever virtual or you read whatever virtue thing is. I don't get offended at all. I think you're right and you deserve to be able to do that. I. But I also, also, Rollin, I don't know you, but I think you're a good guy. I don't even think you're being a dick about it, which makes you even better. That makes you. Oh my God, Rollin, you're so much better than everyone else. Because I can tell you're not being a dick about it when you are well within your right to be a dick about it. I'm impressed by you, Rollin. Okay, let me finish reading the email. I don't think that's the case. I'm not like the annoying, overbearing preacher telling people they must stop scrolling or they were perish in the depths of hell. They can do what they want. I just don't want to waste any more of my time. I guess what really bothers me is that whenever someone asks for my social media, I say, I don't have social media. And apparently that's a red flag. Hold on. Okay, you don't know this because you don't have social media, Rollin, but like, dude, there's a phenomenon going on. I've. I've both seen it on TikTok and I've like talked to people about it where like, women want a man with no social media. And I've, Some people have. I don't think this is true. I don't think this is like, in general, but I've talked to a lot of people lately who are like, I want a boyfriend with no friends who plays sudoku in his room alone. I think there's a lot of people who don't want that. But there's a certain. But like, I actually, I think a lot of people find that attractive. Or like, I'll see some TikTok where it's like manifesting this and it's like an Instagram account with no posts, no followers and no one they're following. So I don't think it's a red flag necessarily. Also, when I also, like, I mean that whatever I gave the, the dating aspect of it, but also like, if I meet someone and they say they don't have any social media, I immediately find them. I immediately am like, oh, you actually genuinely are different from everyone else. You're way more interesting. I, I want to talk to you. You have more interesting thoughts. I just believe that. So it's a green flag. The follow up question is why don't you have it? It bothers me because I don't have a real answer that makes any sense. Yes, you do. You. You totally have a real answer that makes sense as to why you don't have it. You don't have it because it's a waste of your life. You know, I have it because it makes you. It increases depression and it makes you compare your life to everyone else instead of living your own life. It wastes a ton of time. It makes you fucking anxious, dude. The most calm I fucking feel is if I go like a few days without looking at my phone. My phone makes me so fucking anxious. And we know it too, and we just keep doing it. Sincerely, a social digital ghost somewhere in the middle of Canada. That would be depressing to me. I was just in the middle of Canada at a fun time, but it's too isolated from other people. I think the. Yeah, if you can just be around real human beings, then you're good. I mean, have a phone. Have like a phone number, have a notes app. But you're not missing anything, man. You're not missing anything. It's like, I mean, whatever. I don't want to be the 800th person to go on this rant, but it's like we're just getting programmed, dude. We're just getting program. You. You have a fresh, interesting mind. You're not programmed by anything. Oh, Rollin. Your friends and family suck, dude. No, they don't. I don't know. I don't know them. I don't want to say that, but I will say that you're better than all of them. I'll say that with confidence. All right, let's do a couple more emails. Subject line. I did copious amounts of Molly that I was meant to sell. What's up, Geck Reezy here.
