Therapy Gecko – “I’M LONELY IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE”

Date: December 22, 2025
Host: Lyle, the Therapy Gecko
Guests: Chris (“Middle of Nowhere”), Rocky (second caller)
Podcast: Therapy Gecko (iHeartPodcasts)

Episode Overview

In this episode of Therapy Gecko, Lyle takes calls from two guests navigating loneliness and complex life circumstances from very different corners of human experience. The main conversation is with Chris, a 24-year-old aspiring musician and DJ from rural Georgia, struggling with social isolation, complex childhood trauma, making authentic friendships, and searching for purpose and connection. The episode ends with a brief, heartfelt call from Rocky, whose wife recently left after spending his lottery winnings—a story of abandonment, emotional exhaustion, and resilience.

The mood is compassionate, candid, and philosophical, with Lyle listening deeply, offering perspective, and gently challenging his callers’ assumptions about themselves and their place in the world.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Chris: Dreams, Dysfunction & the Search for Connection

Timestamps: 01:43–73:06

Upbringing & Relationship to Music

• Traumatic Childhood: Chris recounts early memories of violence (“one of the earliest memories I have is my dad picking up a fan and throwing it at my mom while she was in the bathtub” – Chris, 04:07) and describes a lack of emotional support at home, leading him to seek comfort in music and, occasionally unsuccessfully, through humor in school.
  • “I had very little emotional support … that's why I do appreciate music because ... even though I didn't know the artist personally, they were the ones telling me, 'keep going.'” (Chris, 05:18)
• Music as Salvation: He wants to create emotionally impactful music like the heavy metal, conscious rap, and alternative rock that helped him through darker times.

Adolescence and Social Isolation

• Struggles Fitting In: Felt ostracized at school, formed fleeting connections with other social “outcasts” – “I was always the last kid to get picked during team sports… they didn’t even want me around.” (Chris, 05:51)
• Attention-Seeking: Realizes, in retrospect, his attempts at humor and attention were ways to compensate for neglect at home.

Growing Philosophical: Free Will, Determinism, and Normality

• Engages Lyle in an earnest philosophical exchange about determinism, free will, and what it means to be “normal”.

  • “If I was born into your body Lyle, with your parents and your family, I would literally be who you are today.” (Chris, 09:14)
  • “Everyone does things ‘in character’ because they did it. Your character can hold a variety of competing things.” (Lyle, 11:30)

• The Social Facade: Chris observes that everyone puts on social masks to hide their weirdness; concludes that the concept of “normal” is arbitrary and relative.

  • “We're all weird, we just hide it better… By having different standards of normal, we're all kind of weird.” (Chris, 12:35)

Honesty & Making Friends as an Adult

• Difficulties Connecting with Peers: Chris finds himself gravitating towards older friends (even in church, most of his meaningful connections are with people far older than him).
• Honesty as a Double-Edged Sword: Sometimes his raw openness alienates people, especially those from more privileged backgrounds.
  • Tells blunt and traumatic stories that make others uncomfortable (notably, recounts a disturbing sexual encounter in adolescence and explaining the fallout in a peer group; see 23:05–29:10).
  • “My honesty kind of drives people away because I can be a pretty open book… I know it makes them uncomfortable.” (Chris, 20:49)
  • Lyle reassures: “I don’t even think you should say it’s your fault… being like that… once you get older you start to understand that everyone is the way they are for some reason.” (Lyle, 07:38)

The Southern Small Town Dynamic

• Chris details the class divides, “old money”, and the performative niceness in his community, leading to a sense of persistent outsider status.
  • “Here, if you’re not in their presence with a suit and tie they automatically look down on you.” (Chris, 17:14)
• Finds church groups stifling and plans to look for a new one, as young peers are friendly but not authentic (“I feel like my honesty kind of drives those people away…” Chris, 19:47).

Work, DJing, and Lifestyle

• Contracting Job & DJing: Works solo most days, "with headphones on all day", making it hard to form bonds at work, despite regularly DJing local gigs at night.
• Lack of Connection: Admits to feeling lonely and wishing for meaningful connections: “I long for connection. I do. I feel like deep down everybody does.” (Chris, 37:55)

Romantic Relationships

• Recounts tumultuous dating history: a sheltered upbringing, an adolescent encounter marred by trauma, and a significant three-year relationship that ended in self-realization and growth. He abstained from relationships to work on himself and is now re-entering the dating world.
  • Notably candid about romantic missteps and his introspective journey (“I realized I didn't really like her … I was just using her to get out of my dad's house, and it really messed me up.” – Chris, 48:56)
• Navigates dating apps (Tinder, Christian Mingle, Facebook Dating), and the emotional rollercoaster of rejection.
  • “I could have everything I wanted, but if I don’t have anyone to share it with, what’s the point?” (Chris, 38:08)

Therapy Gecko’s Reflections and Advice

• You Need More Exposure: Lyle suggests that Chris' social difficulties are more about lack of proximity to potential friends than any personal deficiency.
  • “You’re just not naturally exposed to that many people… try to be around more people, however you can do that.” (Lyle, 65:57)
  • “People don’t give you everything all at once... So you gotta keep somewhat of an open mind.” (Lyle, 67:13)
• Being Open as a 'Tax': On vulnerability and being hurt: “That’ll happen if you put yourself out there… It’s unfortunate, but it’s kind of like a tax.” (Lyle, 71:27)
• Actionable Step: Chris resolves to take off his headphones at work, try eating in the break room, and attempt more casual social interactions.

Memorable Quotes from the Segment

• “I had very little emotional support… that’s why I do appreciate music.” (Chris, 05:18)
• “I was more grown than I was raised.” (Chris, 04:07)
• “If I don’t have anyone to share it with, what’s the point?” (Chris, 38:08)
• “Part of being a person that puts themselves out there is accepting that sometimes people will use it against you... it’s a tax.” (Lyle, 71:27)

Rocky: Abandonment, Mental Health, and Resilience

Timestamps: 76:49–93:38

Crisis Upon Crisis

• Lottery Loss: Rocky, recently won $11k in the lottery, but his wife spent it all on presents and promptly left him. She has a history of mental health struggles (BPD, schizophrenia), and he describes the cycle of abandonment as recurring, though she’s never fully blocked him before.
  • “She bought Christmas presents for her whole family and then decided she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore… this time it’s kind of different.” (Rocky, 77:01–78:10)
• Isolation: Alone except for six cats, Rocky details his struggle with depression, anxiety, and being “cut off” by his friend group (for canceling too many plans to accommodate his wife).

The Repetitive Cycle & Its Toll

• Recurring Absences: Wife tends to leave periodically (often around holidays) and usually returns; this time feels final.
  • “Usually she kind of ends up just kind of taking off somewhere and eventually she will come back, but this time it's kind of different… she completely blocked me.” (Rocky, 79:07–79:48)
• Support System Shrinking: Friends have grown tired of the back-and-forth, feeling like he’s not taking action to help himself.
  • “They see it a different way… like we’re kind of tired of dealing with this and you’re not dealing with it, so we just don’t want anything to do with you anymore, which I can’t blame them.” (Rocky, 87:46)

Coping & Vulnerability

• Withdrawal: Rocky has quit both weed and masturbation "cold turkey" in an effort to regain control of his life, intensifying his discomfort.
  • “You’re doing all of this without smoking weed and jacking off? … You’re like GI Joe, you’re like Chuck Norris! Who are you?” (Lyle, 92:07; jokingly, but with affection)
• Simple Joys: Moments of joy are rare – "like when the cat comes up to me and starts purring." (Rocky, 81:35)

Lyle’s Reflections and Empathy

• The Cycle is Hard to Break: Lyle sympathizes with the difficulty of breaking a toxic relationship cycle, reassuring Rocky that his feelings are common and don’t make him a “loser”.
  • “I don’t think you should wallow in shame or self-hatred… Have a little bit of grace for yourself.” (Lyle, 88:24)
• Advice is Hard: Acknowledges that the only one who can break the cycle is Rocky. Suggests releasing self-judgment and simply recognizing the cycle.

Memorable Quotes from the Segment

• “You’re doing all of this without smoking weed and jacking off? … You’re like GI Joe, you’re like Chuck Norris! Who are you?” (Lyle, 92:07)
• “I don’t think you should wallow in shame or self hatred about it… Have a little bit of grace for yourself.” (Lyle, 88:24)
• “If [my wife] wants to be with me, awesome, if not, I understand… but my friends see it a different way.” (Rocky, 87:46)

Important Thematic Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------| | 01:43 | Chris greets Lyle; introduces loneliness | | 04:07 | Childhood trauma and search for emotional support | | 09:14 | Determinism, empathy, philosophical reflection | | 20:49 | Honesty driving people away | | 23:05–29:10 | Telling a traumatic story to friends, fallout | | 33:52 | Friendship patterns, church social dynamics | | 35:11 | Chris’s jobs, music, and isolation | | 37:55 | Admits longing for connection | | 47:07 | Romantic history and self-reflection | | 52:28 | Rejection on dating apps; loneliness | | 65:57 | Lyle’s practical advice: “be around more people” | | 71:27 | On vulnerability: “it’s kind of like a tax” | | 76:49 | Rocky’s call: wife’s departure, being cut off | | 77:01–79:48 | Wife’s cyclical absences, impact on friendships | | 92:07 | Rocky’s withdrawal from all vices (“Chuck Norris!”)|

Notable Quotes and Moments

• Chris: “I was more grown than I was raised.” (04:07)
• Chris: “If I was born into your body, Lyle, … I would literally be who you are today.” (09:14)
• Chris: “We're all weird… we just hide it better.” (12:35)
• Lyle: “People don’t give you everything all at once… you gotta keep somewhat of an open mind.” (67:13)
• Lyle: “That’ll happen if you put yourself out there… it’s a tax.” (71:27)
• Chris: “If I don’t have anyone to share it with, what’s the point?” (38:08)
• Rocky: “She bought Christmas presents for her whole family and then decided she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” (77:01)
• Lyle: “You’re doing all of this without smoking weed and jacking off? … You’re like GI Joe, you’re like Chuck Norris!” (92:07)
• Lyle: “I don’t think you should wallow in shame or self hatred… Have a little bit of grace for yourself.” (88:24)

Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• Both callers demonstrate the deep ache of wanting to be loved and understood, set against challenging backdrops—be it a legacy of trauma and poverty or a cycle of abandonment and codependency.
• Lyle continually models empathy, reflection, and gentle challenging of maladaptive assumptions, steering lonely souls toward self-acceptance and actionable change: exposure to more people, vulnerability in balance, and letting go of self-judgment.
• The episode is a meditation on how survival, coping, and connection intertwine—and how, even in the proverbial “middle of nowhere,” empathy and music (and sometimes a stranger in a lizard suit) can keep hope alive.

For listeners who haven't heard the episode:
This is a raw, honest journey through isolation, childhood trauma, adult loneliness, and the brave effort to reach out despite it all—sometimes messy, sometimes funny, always real. If you relate to feeling like an outcast, struggling with vulnerability, or just want to feel seen, this episode is for you.