Gecko (3:13)

How long has he been there for?

Priestess (3:14)

You said about three months.

Priestess (caller) (3:20)

And where I'm struggling and why. I jokingly, like, affectionately, like, I love my dad. There has been many, many years of, like, he was my best friend for a lot of it. I had divorced parents, and that always creates a tricky situation. There's been some good times, but there's also been some really low lows, especially between me and my dad. So it's been, like, tough for me. My husband is definitely pissed, but it's been a little tough for me and sometimes triggering because, like, you know, I guess I've. I've forgiven him, my dad, for some things, and I sincerely do want to help him, but at the same time, I feel like some things aren't being respected. Like, it's like, you know, it's my space. So that there's that weird dynamic of.

Gecko (4:06)

Yeah.

Priestess (caller) (4:06)

Like, trying to deal with that and, like, wanting to help him also. Not because he's kind of not. And, like, I don't think he's really left even his house much for 10 years and trying to tell somebody because he was a caretaker for my grandma and trying to tell somebody, like, oh, yeah, I know you. You know, you're not used to just being in society and stuff much, but, like, you gotta get a job and figure stuff out. Like, I've. I've tried helping him by helping him job search, trying to help him get medical stuff, trying to do things in, like, a nice way, and that doesn't seem to help. So I'm kind of stuck in a tough place because I understand, like, it's got to be like, I just had a baby, same time he moved in. Pretty much our first. And, like, it's. It's like, I want to help, but also boundaries, and I gotta put my husband and my baby first.

Priestess (5:06)

Mm.

Gecko (5:08)

Does he. So what has he been doing that, like, is. Is disrespecting the boundaries?

Priestess (caller) (5:16)

Well, like, there was an instance of, you know, some things are out of place or not done a certain way.

Priestess (5:23)

That the husband likes.

Priestess (caller) (5:25)

And, you know, I try to communicate it to the husband or to my father, and he kind of gets this attitude of, like, oh, he could just talk to me himself, and, like, you know, he's being a. Or something. I'm like, whoa. First of all, don't even say that. Like, I want to, like, kick him out right then when he says something like that. But, you know, or. Or just like, some things in the past have come up. Like, I just want to start off with, like, the reason I give my dad chance stuff is because he has built the foundation in me as a person to be a strong person and, and loving towards people and things. But, like, on the other side, sometimes I suspect maybe he's, like, got something, like, not to diagnose or anything, but, like, bipolar or something going on.

Gecko (6:13)

Yeah.

Priestess (caller) (6:15)

And because on the other side, like, you know, when I was living with my grandma and him, like, it got so bad I couldn't even be in my house because, yeah, I would be late from work and he would suspect that I was hanging out with friends or a guy that he thought I was dating at the time, which was just a friend I wasn't dating and wasn't. And so, like, I'd come home to my torn up and, like, being called, you know, words, which. It was pretty bad. It got like, that's the toxic part of. And, and so he'll like, he. Where I feel disrespected is it came up once that he said, well, I had to do that to get you out of the house. And I'm like, like, I had to be just like, okay, you need to leave my space because I'm about to go off on you. Because that, like, you could just tell me to move out. You didn't need to do all that.

Priestess (7:06)

Mm.

Gecko (7:09)

Okay. So, like, do you confront him about this stuff? Do you say, like, hey, you can't be doing this shit. You gotta. If you're gonna stay with me, you gotta do X, Y, and Z.

Priestess (7:21)

Yes, I, I.

Priestess (caller) (7:22)

Well, I should say. I should. I try to, but I feel like I get talked at and interrupted. Like I never get a chance to just sit down and actually say it, you know? Or like, maybe like, even when I do get moments of being able to say it, it's like I'm being listened to to, like, of course he's going to be defensive. I mean, who wouldn't be? When somebody's coming at you like that to where it's, it's not getting received, if that makes sense.

Gecko (7:55)

Yeah. So he's not receiving it at all or he's, like, yelling at you.

Priestess (caller) (8:04)

Right, exactly. And like, so I don't. I mean, I know what everyone's gonna say. I know it's like, just kick him out sort of a thing. But it's. I, I just, I don't feel right about.

Gecko (8:17)

I get it. I get it. I know. I get it. I mean, I'm not gonna. Well, of course, listen. Of course it's easy to say, just kick him out. Of course it's easy to say. It's just kick him out. But it's easy for me to say and for everyone else to say because it. Our fucking dad, you know, it's almost like it's like, well, if you're in an abusive relationship or something, why not just leave? You know? And it's like, well, there's so much like emotional quotant behind the logistics of it and the emotions of it are a lot more murky. But to continue with logistics, I suppose. I mean. How old is your dad?

Priestess (caller) (9:00)

He just turned 55.

Gecko (9:03)

Okay, and does he work?

Priestess (caller) (9:06)

No.

Gecko (9:08)

Is he disabled?

Priestess (9:11)

In a.

Priestess (caller) (9:12)

Yes, actually, in some ways, not. Not fully, but like his back and neck are. Feels so bad that like he can't even turn his neck sort of thing.

Gecko (9:23)

Okay.

Priestess (caller) (9:25)

And like his eyesight, like, that's another thing of like diabetes is really bad and things are going on. But he's also where it's making it hard. It's. He's very much not wanting to go to doctors because it feels like you can't trust them. They just want to pump them full drugs. Which I agree with him to some points, but it gets to a point.

Priestess (9:42)

Where like, oh, well, you didn't make.

Priestess (caller) (9:44)

The healthy choices you needed to prevent it from becoming worse, you know, and now you put your spot, yourself in the spot where it's either medicine or like, literally lose some limbs, man.

Gecko (9:55)

Like.

Priestess (caller) (9:58)

And so, I mean, he is working towards getting possibly help with that stuff, but only because I really, really pushed it or I have to like initiate.

Gecko (10:09)

Yeah. You know, is he. Is he. Do we know if he's eligible to receive any kind of government assistance? Like, is he that. Is it that bad?

Priestess (caller) (10:22)

That's what we're looking into. I don't know. I. I mean, I think it is because, I mean, the man, like, he's at a 8 out of 10 pain all the time, you know, and so, yeah, I'm looking into that, but I'm also like trying to look into jobs where it would be low impact because it's not. Not only just job for money and supporting yourself, but there's the mental aspect too. You know, feeling accomplished, getting your confidence back and a purpose and being around.

Gecko (10:51)

Of course. Yeah. You know, I know. I guess the reason why I go to government stuff first is because it's like. What's your name again? I'm sorry, I fucking suck with names.

Priestess (caller) (11:01)

No worries, Priestess.

Gecko (11:03)

Priestess. Well, cause, Priestess, here's the thing, you know, it's great that your dad has done so much for you. And you are clearly a really sweet, caring person, and your family is important to you, but also, you have your own life. You have a fucking. You just had a fucking kid. Is it your first kid?

Priestess (11:29)

Yes.

Gecko (11:30)

You just had your first kid. You know what I mean? And I'm sure that's a pain in the. Like, you have your own life. You have your own things to tend to. And I understand that you care a lot about your dad, and it's totally not as easy as just kick him out, but, like, it's really fucking hard. But your dad has to be like, your dad's gotta at least, like, respect you, you know, he's got to at least give you something, because if he's just gonna, like, be the. The tyrant ruler of the house, like, he can't fucking do that. I mean, it's. It's a. It's a. It's a disrespect to. To you. It's a disrespect to your fucking kid that he's taken away attention from because you got. You got to be kid, but instead you're worried about your dad, and you're a nice person, but also, also you. You have. You have. You have a finite amount of time and energy and whatever. And so, you know, I. It's not easy, but at some. At a certain point, you got to be like, dad, listen, you either you have to like. Like, you got to do something, or else you. You have to, like, there's got to be something or else he's just going to keep walking all over you. And, you know, for the sake of your kid and everything, he just can't let that happen. I know it's hard.

Priestess (caller) (12:55)

Yeah, it is hard because there is also, like, the piece of. I do work from home and like, you know, sometimes, because I'm going for trying not to have to get childcare because stuff's like 2000amonth. It's insane. And we just can't, like, dealing with the Morgan and everything. Really can't swing that. But, you know, it's helpful sometimes, like, that he can watch her, like. And like, the other piece of it is too. Like I mentioned, my husband's pretty pissed and I'm really trying to work.

Gecko (13:34)

Yeah. What's. What's your husband's deal? What's. You said he's pissed off. What's he have to say? What are his, like, solutions or thoughts?

Priestess (caller) (13:43)

Yeah, well, his solution is out on the street, but that it's not stemming necessarily from the, like, just being here. It's more so for him. It's. There's. He's holding a lot onto some past stuff because, like while we were dating and stuff, he.

Priestess (14:00)

I was.

Priestess (caller) (14:01)

I think there was a two year time I wasn't speaking to my dad. And during the time we were dating, I was trying to reconnect with my dad because my grandma had passed away. And like, it was a lot of phone calls of me on the phone getting screamed at and then like. Like crying for an hour afterward. And my husband was the one that had to be the one holding me together.

Gecko (14:26)

Yeah. So your husband. Your husband watched you. You. Your husband watched you attempt to get back your, Your husband watched you attempt to rebuild your relationship with your dad, and he watched your dad scream at you and make you cry.

Priestess (caller) (14:44)

Yeah. So he holds a lot of that.

Gecko (14:48)

Yeah, I'm sure.

Priestess (caller) (14:48)

And then. Which understandably, I. I love him for that. I really do. And I just, I was like, can you try to please forgive him for that? Because I understand you're not wrong in feeling that way, but you gotta understand, somebody is not functioning from a healthy place. And at the time I took that stuff because, you know, like. And he was very much my father in the mind frame of like, I don't even want to live this life anymore. So for me, it felt like a battle of just fighting for his life, you know, which doesn't make it okay. I didn't deserve it. I recognize all that. But, you know, I've been a shitty person times in my life and. And it. Sometimes it just takes people being there in your low lows, you know.

Gecko (15:35)

But at a certain. And I get that. Right. But also at a certain point, it's like you. It's very kind of you again to offer your dad this forgiveness, but you. But he has to, like, he's got to do something to continue to be in your life, you know, because if he's not, he's gotta hold up. You're struggling so hard. You're like, you're given so much, priestess. Like, you're just given so much. And if he's giving and he can't just give you nothing, he can't just give you nothing and then blame it on whatever he's gonna blame it on. He just can't. He can't give you nothing. That's why your husband hates him, is because he's watching you. Because if you're. Because if your dad. If your dad was in like, my name is Earl mode or whatever, and he's brought you a fucking fruit basket and he's like, hey, I'm sorry. I know I was a dick in the past and I really, I want to get back in the good graces of you and your family. I want to be there with my grandson. I want to be there with your husband, and I want to do this and that. And I thank you so. Fucking thanking you every fucking day for letting you. Letting him live in your house and being like, I have a plan like it like that because it's you. That's why your, your husband's having a hard time forgiving him is because he's not like, for cuz he's your dad. Your dad's like, not I. From what you're telling me, your dad's not even asking for forgiveness, he's just continuing. You know what I mean? So it's like, how can you even give forgiveness that he's not even asking for? And by the way, this all sucks. I'm really sorry to hear that. There's no like, great, amazing advice or solution that doesn't make any of this suck a lot and be really hard. But I just, at a certain point, you gotta figure out where your, where your limits are, you know, And I don't know if that means throwing him out on the street necessarily, but you know something, I mean, what, what, what's out there, right? Like, I don't, I, you know, is he eligible for government assistance? And you're like, well, I want him to have a job and have all this, you know, actually kind of get back himself out there and well, he has to want to fucking do that, you know, and if he wants to fuck, he has to want to do that. He used to want to improve his life and you can't make him want to improve his life then. And you also can't. And also you got to be there for yourself and your kid and your husband. Like, you got to be there for your life and you only have, and you, we only have enough energy for like so much, you know? And your energy, I don't think it can continue to expand outside of your own life at this point. And I know that's really hard, but I hope, I hope it gives you something to think about at least.

Priestess (18:58)

It does.

Priestess (caller) (18:59)

I appreciate it. I try to operate humbly as a person and like, I don't, I don't stay in the mind frame of I'm giving so much. I mean, I am a person of faith. So for me it's like, well, it's not mine to begin with, but it's. I Guess it helps. You're making me realize like, especially the energy spending because it's true, like a lot of my joy and things were robbed in the process of being pregnant and stuff just because I was worried about him becoming homeless.

Priestess (19:29)

And.

Gecko (19:31)

You said, you said it wasn't yours to begin with. Is that like I've been endowed by God with all that I am and it was never mine to begin with?

Priestess (19:42)

Yeah, in the sense of like, like.

Priestess (caller) (19:45)

For me I grew up in poverty with my divorced parents and you know, I tried some college because there was a program where like your last two years of high school you can go into college early. And I just didn't know exactly what I was wanting to do with my life. I was going to family law. There was a little bit of passion there because of what I dealt with growing up. But yeah, I just kind of fell off and just went out, lived my life and unfortunately I had a really bad accident at my work where I basically fell head first at least 10ft and like woke up, couldn't like, I don't remember anything. I couldn't even be in a room with lights or sound or. I'm lucky I didn't die. And so like I used to be an incredibly high functioning person and like now I really struggle with a lot of things like just shopping at the store or what have you. But like despite my struggles, I still have work because like I could have probably gone disability but I, I didn't want to. Like, I rather if I can offer something, you know, I wanted to be, you know, be able to support myself and not be limited in any ways possible. And thankfully I have a very wonderful workplace that allows that and flexibility for me. And despite my shortcomings, I somehow have made it into pretty good position and like the love of my life, my husband and my house was a whole miracle in itself how that was obtained because by no means with what we make should we have any business being homeowners. But you know, all fell in place in ways where I'm just like, I, and I personally have experience where I like, I know God is true to where like spiritual experiences. And it's, it's just like I've, I've. That's where I'm operating from is I'm just like this. None of what I have, I obtained myself. You know, it's, I've been blessed.

Gecko (22:02)

Sure, sure. I understand what you mean by that. I understand what you, I understand what you mean when you say that nothing that you have, you achieved on your. I understand where you draw that conclusion. And I feel that way. That's a bit. Because I've lost myself in a lot of, like, deterministic things in that. Of, like, I don't know why I am the way I am. And, like, a very, like, existential shit that gets you to that point of, like, feeling like everything you had was not yours. I'm gonna say this. It makes sense that you're a woman of faith, because the way in which you operate strikes me as very Christ like. But here's the problem is that being Jesus sucks. I mean, yeah, being Jesus sucks ass. I mean, he has to carry a giant thing for a thousand miles, and then they nail him to the cross and he just sits there and dies for. You know, for what? You know? Well, I don't know the flow. I've never read the Bible. But I do know that being Jesus sucks. And I just want you to know something. It's noble the way you operate your life. It's really noble. You give a lot for your family and for the world, but just so you, like, you don't have to be Jesus. Let me. Let me be. I think in the last. There's some fucking movie my dad told me about. I've never seen it, but. And it's like the Last Temptation of Christ or something like that. Jesus is. He's hanging on the cross and a little girl comes up to him and, like, takes him down. That little girl, I think, in the movie, turns out to be the devil or whatever, but Let me. But pretending like that didn't happen. Okay, Forgetting about that part. Let me be the devil in this canary and say, hey, you know, and that's what your husband's trying to do. He's trying to be the devil, the good devil. You get what I mean? I'm losing this, but okay. And he's trying to. You're. You're. You're trying to be Jesus right now, and your husband is, like, trying to take you off the cross and be like, hey, you don't have to be Jesus. You can go back to what, Nazareth, and we can have a life and hang out with our kid. You know, you don't have to be the Savior. You don't have to be the Messiah for your father. You know what I mean? So. I'll echo the sentiment of your husband and say, it's very nice of you that you're trying to be Jesus, but you really don't have to be Jesus. And for the sake of your. For the sake of yourself and the sake of your baby. You just. You don't have to be Jesus. You can just be Priestess. You just be yourself, be with your family. Does that make sense?

Priestess (caller) (25:17)

Yes, it makes complete sense. And I guess that's why I message you too, because, like, I. I do. I understand that. And I'm just trying to figure out how. And I know you don't have the answers. I guess I was just trying to talk and have a soundboard. Another opinion other than people that are directly invol, you know, because it's emotional for them.

Gecko (25:36)

I'm sure I'm. I'm sure it's very emotional for you too.

Priestess (25:42)

I mean, yeah, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm.

Priestess (caller) (25:45)

I'm not approved. So you mentioning, like, it didn't, like, close off my ears by saying that. I'm double saying I appreciate your time and I appreciate you remembering my name.

Priestess (25:57)

Because usually you don't.

Gecko (26:00)

Well, yeah, Priestess. That's a good. Is that your real name or is that like a fake name?

Priestess (26:04)

It's a.

Priestess (caller) (26:05)

It's a gamertag I went by, like, in my childhood.

Gecko (26:08)

Mm.

Priestess (caller) (26:09)

Mm.

Gecko (26:12)

I'm trying to think if I have anything else. I don't know if I have, like, logistical ways in my head of how you could move forward that aren't tough, but I'll leave it with that. But, you know, you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm, all that stuff. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, Priestess?

Priestess (caller) (26:36)

Yeah, I guess I would just say that no matter what dark room you feel like you're in, and, you know, you feel shut and scared and you don't know if you can keep going on that. Just keep that hope alive. Because for every mountain or the valley and a peak and, you know.

Priestess (26:58)

Yeah, it's. It's.

Priestess (caller) (27:00)

Things can become beautiful.

Gecko (27:03)

Thank you, Priestess. Have a. Have a good rest of your night.

Priestess (27:07)

You too. Thank you. Geck.

Gecko (27:11)

Those. Priestess. Dude, I think a lot about the Last Temptation of Christ. I'm going to talk about it real quick. And I swear on my life, I'm not. I'm not a Christian. I'm not a Christian at all. I'm. I'm not. I'm just like. I like this story because it's interesting, because that's all this shit is. There's nothing like, you know, it's not about, like, belief. It's just like, these are just allegories of things. But, like, I don't know. I was telling my. I was talking to my dad and I was telling him I was having, like, a hard time doing something, and he told. He was telling me about the last temptation of Christ, and he was like, yeah, fucking. So Jesus is that. Jesus is gonna go die for our sins. So he nailed. They nail him to a cross and. Oh, okay, yeah, all right. So Jesus is the Messiah. I swear, this is not a. It's just an interesting story. Jesus is the Messiah, Okay? So imagine someone says to you, all right, you're the Messiah, and you have to fucking die for all of our sins. You'd be like, I don't want to do that. Sucks. But you're like, okay, all right. Or. And then they. So you. Drat you. You. They nail you to a cross, and you're sitting there dying. You're like, this sucks. I don't want to do this. I do not want to be the Messiah. I don't want to sit on this fucking cross and die. And then. Yeah, and then a little girl comes up to Jesus and she takes him off the cross, and she, like, heals his wounds, and then, like, takes him back to Nazareth and he gets married and he has a kid, and he lives a happy, normal life. And then later he finds out that that little girl was the devil trying to convince him to not be the Messiah. And then Jesus, like, runs up to this hill, and he starts trying to talk to God, and he's like. He's begging God to go back in time to be the Messiah because he realizes that he really actually wanted to be the Messiah. I think what the story is trying to tell you is some shit like. And my dad was telling it to me, and he's. We're all Jewish. I don't know why we're talking about this stuff, but when my dad was telling to me, it's like, okay, you're doing this hard thing that you really don't want to do, and you cannot do it, but later you might go back up to the hill and beg God, I actually do want to be the Messiah now. I was. I was dating this woman at the time, and I told her this, and she was like, that is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Like, why would you do a thing? Why would you, like, live life in pain just so that you can say you did? And she was right, too. So those are. Those are, like, the two different sides of that coin on that story. Depending on who you are is like, do you suffer immensely for, I guess, nobility or whatever. Whatever the fucking thing is that you feel like you're suffering for? Or do you realize that suffering is pointless and just like, go live and enjoy life? I don't think that has a lot to do with this woman's story, but I don't know. It's interesting. I think about it sometimes. Jesus. Jesus Christ. Crazy guy. Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creat creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators of some kind. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world that whatever it is that you do best, you can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate live together.

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Gecko (32:51)

Hello?

Priestess (32:51)

Oh, hi. Is this the Gecko?

Gecko (32:53)

Yes, hi. Who is this?

Priestess (32:56)

This is Ada.

Gecko (32:58)

Ada? What's up, Ada? Where are you calling from?

Priestess (33:02)

Czech Republic.

Gecko (33:03)

Oh, the Czech Republic. What? Prague?

Priestess (33:06)

Yes, yes, exactly.

Gecko (33:09)

Sweet. I went there a Long time ago. And I ate a lot of churros.

Priestess (33:16)

Churros?

Priestess (caller) (33:17)

Really?

Gecko (33:18)

Yeah.

Priestess (33:18)

They have really a check thing.

Gecko (33:20)

Well, I don't. They have. I don't know if they're churros, but they're like sweet cinnamon cake things.

Priestess (33:25)

Oh.

Gecko (33:27)

Yeah.

Priestess (33:28)

Like the one that's like a big cone or something like.

Gecko (33:31)

Yeah, yeah, the big. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the big cone.

Priestess (33:33)

Yeah. It's actually Hungarian, but we coined it as Czech.

Gecko (33:37)

Oh, okay. I mean, it's all the same.

Priestess (33:41)

Yeah, Yeah.

Gecko (33:44)

I guess to an American everywhere that everywhere outside of America is. It's just not America, you know?

Priestess (33:52)

Yeah, well, it's okay.

Gecko (33:58)

No, I'm kidding. I think I'm kidding. What's your name again? You said. You said your name.

Priestess (34:03)

Ada. You can call me Aidan.

Gecko (34:05)

Adam. Adam. Ada. You texted me and you said, I fell in love with a homeless man and he stole my suitcase. That was the second homeless man that I have been with.

Priestess (34:22)

Yeah, that happened. Yeah. Well, I spent some time working in Switzerland this summer, and I was pretty lonely in there because I actually don't speak German, so. And I didn't know anybody there, so I was just, like, pretty miserable. And I was, like, walking on the street and. Well, I was outside and I was. I wanted to go back to my hotel where I also worked. But then I realized, like, I missed the last train home, and my phone was dead, and I was on this, like, tram station, and like, there were, like, some creepy old men trying to, like, you know, they were like, I'm gonna give you a ride home, blah, blah, blah. And I was feeling like, you know, in danger. And the only other person on that stop was a homeless man sleeping on the ground, who was, like, a young guy my age. I'm 20. And to be honest, he was really beautiful. So I was like, this is. This is my best bet. I'm just gonna go up to him and be like, can I sit next to you? I'm scared. And he was like, yeah.

Maria (35:51)

And I.

Priestess (35:52)

And I spent the night on the street next to him. And I did that again for the next, like, five days because I really liked him. And at some point, I let him move in to my hotel room, and I just live there with him for some time.

Gecko (36:17)

This was the first time.

Priestess (36:20)

No, this is the second time.

Gecko (36:22)

Oh, okay. And you were living in a hotel room at the time?

Priestess (36:29)

Yes.

Gecko (36:32)

Fuck. Did I miss a part of the story that explains why you were living in the hotel room?

Priestess (36:38)

Oh, yeah. Well, I worked as a hotel receptionist there, so I kind of just lived at the hotel where I worked.

Gecko (36:46)

Okay. Did you have, like, a family in the same city?

Priestess (36:54)

No, I was there completely alone, so. Yeah.

Gecko (37:00)

And how long did your relationship last with the guy that you met at the train station?

Priestess (37:06)

Well, he lived with me for about a month, and then I was just like. Then I just fucking left and went back to Czech Republic because it was all a bit too much. He was an addict, and me too, so it was a very, like, toxic, dangerous relationship.

Gecko (37:30)

Why did. I'm curious why you slept on the street with him for five days instead of just going back to your hotel room.

Priestess (37:41)

Well, I don't know. I just. Well, the first day I had no way to get home, but then I just really liked spending time with him, so I just, like, kept coming back and always ended up just, like, sleeping there next to him. I know it's crazy, but the thing is, I have bpd, and sometimes I just, like, fall in this, like, fucking involuntarily, like, obsession with someone who, like, I barely know, and, like, my main life goal becomes just, like, getting lost from that person. And that's exactly what happened. So I just kind of went against all logic when I was there.

Gecko (38:45)

And. Tell me about those five days. Were they, like, enjoyable for you?

Priestess (caller) (38:56)

Well.

Priestess (38:59)

It was. It was hard. Of course, it's not like, like, pleasurable to sleep on the ground on a tram station, but on the other hand, I was next to him and I was feeling. You know, I was feeling all the feelings before you when you're cuddling with the person you like. And, like, I was in a really bad mental state back there, so I was just, like, glad to be there with him. And I felt bad for him because he was my age and already homeless, so I don't know. Yeah, it was. There was some good and some bad in it.

Gecko (40:00)

And. So you said he stole your suitcase?

Priestess (caller) (40:05)

Yeah.

Priestess (40:05)

Well, so after a while, when I let him live with me, so sometimes he would just, like, go out to, like, get his drugs and, like, beg for money and because I didn't want him to, like, walk around the hotel where I lived with, like, a pile of, like, blankets and stuff that he would take, so I just let him borrow my suitcase so that, like, it would be less suspicious. Suspicious. And then I told him by the end, like, I'm gonna leave this day. And I told him which time my train is leaving. So. But the day before, he left with the suitcase and didn't come back until the train came, so I had no place to put my stuff, so I had to stay One more night. Buy a new suitcase, which was, like, super expensive because it's Switzerland. And actually, I didn't get to say bye to him, but he still had, like, all of his stuff, like his personal items at the hotel. So I had to, like, take all of his stuff and leave it somewhere. And then I texted his plug whose phone number I had, because he used my phone and I told him where I left the stuff. Yeah. So I. He has my suitcase. Probably until now, if he's alive. I don't know.

Gecko (41:53)

So you haven't had any contact with him?

Priestess (caller) (41:57)

No.

Priestess (41:58)

Because, like, how do you contact the homeless men in a different country? Really?

Gecko (42:03)

That's true.

Priestess (42:04)

Yeah.

Gecko (42:07)

So how long ago was all this?

Priestess (42:10)

That was this summer.

Gecko (42:12)

Oh, okay. And how are you doing now?

Priestess (42:15)

Going to, like, I'm gonna start, like, a day day program now, like, where I'm gonna be Monday to Friday doing, like, group therapy sessions and stuff and getting sober, and then I'm just gonna sleep at home, and hopefully that works. I'm gonna be there like, four to six weeks, Months. And like, literally, like, after I came back from this trip and this whole thing happened, I was like, this is the last stroll. I'm gonna get sober now and stop doing this crazy shit.

Gecko (42:51)

Mm. Who was what? Who was the first. So this was. This was not the first time that something like this even happened?

Priestess (43:03)

Well, kind of, yeah. The first time was not that serious. But the first time was last year. I was. I was in Lisbon on a solo trip, and I just bought, like, a three roll joint, and I was like, I'm not gonna smoke this alone. So just, like, walking around the streets of Lisbon, and there was this guy sitting, like, in front of some grocery store on the ground. Like, big beard, messy, like, rasta hair, and a cup in front of him and chest and, like, very crazy clothes. And I was like, that's my dude. This is the one I'm going to, like, smoke weed with. Actually, he was not really homeless. It was more complicated. He was. He didn't have a job. He just kind of, like, somehow fucked over the system and they gave him a free shitty old apartment. He didn't have to work, and he just sat on the street and played chess with people. And yeah, I did come back one more time to meet him there. It was a thing, but it was just like a few days with him. But the second time was a bit more serious, I'd say.

Gecko (44:34)

So what do you, I guess, desire for your life after getting sober?

Priestess (44:44)

Well, I'm not really sure there's more options in there for me. I. One I'm thinking about. Well, I don't have a high school diploma because I. Because of the drug addiction, I had to drop out of high school, like, one month before the end. So I was thinking either I'm gonna try to, you know, finish that, because that would kind of be nice, but also it's scary. Or I would like to. Well, I have an offer from my friend in Spain to come live with him, and I've been learning Spanish for some time, so that's like, my plan B, you know, just fucking move to Spain. Because for me, like, Czech Republic is just not the place I want to stay forever. It's the weather here. It's not, like, ideal for me. I get, like, seasonal depression, and the winters here get really hard for me.

Gecko (46:00)

Do you still feel like you have this thing of, like, getting really obsessed with people?

Priestess (46:08)

Well, I haven't had it with anybody since I came back, and. But I went back to therapy as soon as I got back. I mean, I've been in therapy since 14, but I had a little break. And since I came back, I've been been there, and I haven't had this problem happen again. And I think this time I could just, like, notice it in the beginning, hopefully, and.

Maria (46:40)

You know, not let it.

Priestess (46:43)

Get too much in my head.

Gecko (46:45)

Mm. Mm. Do you have a lot of, like. Like, you're talking about your family and shit? Like, do you have, like, a support system? Do you, like, friends and family helping you out with shit?

Priestess (47:00)

Yeah, I do. I, I, I mean, with my family, it's a bit complicated, but they're still here. It's just not ideal sometimes. And I, I do have some pretty good friends. The only problem is, like, I don't think I have any sober friends. And that's what I'm working on right now, like, trying to get some friends that, like, you know, I can hang out with sober.

Gecko (47:29)

And are these, like. When you say, like, sober friends, is it, like, stuff, Is it harder stuff than, like, just, like, like, weed and alcohol?

Priestess (47:39)

Well, not. I used to have. Well, now I have friends who mostly just smoke weed or drink. I kind of got away from that, like, group of people who did hard drugs already. I managed to get those people out of my life. But still, yeah, like, most of my friends smoke a lot of weed, and I found myself addicted to weed too, so I need to, like, you know, find people to hang out with. Food will not smoke weed around me.

Gecko (48:17)

Okay, what about your. So what's going on with your Friend in. In Spain. How do you know them?

Priestess (48:29)

So last year in New Year's, I was at my best friend's house, and she lives with a few people, and one of them invited this girl, and she brought this guy from Spain there. Just like, you know, fewer friends for a friend. He was visiting Czech Republic, and we started talking and we got, like, we, you know, we. We vibed with each other. So the next time I went to Spain, because this year I traveled a lot. I gave myself a promise to, like, every second month go on a trip outside of my country. So next time I went to Spain, I hit him up and we kind of became very close. I already went there a few times to see him and his friends, and we do call, like, every day. We kind of became, like, really close friends. Yeah.

Gecko (49:38)

I think it's a good idea to find friends who are sober.

Priestess (49:44)

Yeah.

Gecko (49:45)

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure you'll be able to do it.

Priestess (49:51)

Yeah, I hope so. I mean, I did the first step, like, yesterday by. Well, there's this, like, Center, like, Buddhist. Sorry, I don't know how to pronounce it. Buddhistic center in my city.

Priestess (caller) (50:11)

And.

Priestess (50:14)

So I decided to go there and, you know, try to maybe start going there for, like, some meditations and meet the other people who go there. And they were, like, super nice to me. Talk to me for an hour. And I'm feeling like, yeah, maybe this is a place I can find some new friends with, like, a more positive mentality.

Gecko (50:42)

Cool. Yeah. Yeah. I was. I was thinking that. I assumed that in these, like, sober groups and whatnot, that you'd be able to find some good friends.

Priestess (50:55)

Yeah, I'm going to, like, once a week, I'm going to like, something like, you know, kind of like in the movies when there is, like, the AA meetings, this is something similar. They call it, like, the motivational meetings. And I go there one time a week, but, you know, usually I, like, don't want to get to know the people. And they advise us not to make relationships with the people there because, you know. Yeah, because, like, in this group, it's kind of like some people are still using. Some people are not. And it's not really, you know, it couldn't end badly if, like, you know, you met at a. A group and you just. Yeah, it could mean just relapsing together. I don't know.

Gecko (51:51)

Interesting, because I. That's. That's interesting. They tell you not to form friendships because I feel like the whole point of the group is that you're supposed to form relationships with people.

Priestess (52:03)

So in this one where I go to, this one is, like, public, and they do not, like, make the rule of being sober. So in this one they do not advise it. However, when I will start going to, like, the day program, they do put a lot of, like, importance on, like, the relationships between the people going there, because you get tested and, like, you're working really, like, hard towards sobriety. And yeah, it's going to be more safe because you have to be sober in order to be in this program.

Gecko (52:42)

Do you have any hobbies of any kind that will get you out and about and around people?

Priestess (52:49)

Oh, yeah. I paint a lot and draw and I also like to write. So, yeah, these things.

Gecko (53:00)

Are there any groups for any of that stuff that you might be able to join anywhere in Europe? I suppose.

Priestess (53:10)

Maybe. Probably there's something like that. Yeah. I mean, I do have a lot of, like, artistic people around me in.

Maria (53:17)

My life.

Priestess (53:20)

But probably there are some kind of groups like this. Yeah.

Gecko (53:31)

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Ada.

Priestess (53:34)

Yes, thank you for letting me.

Gecko (53:37)

Of course. I guess. Is there anything else that you wanted to get out of this phone call or anything at all that you want to say before we go? I wanted to give you the opportunity to speak whatever piece you have left.

Maria (53:55)

Yeah.

Priestess (53:56)

I want to tell people, like, don't do drugs. It's gonna ruin your life. And I don't know. Have a nice day.

Gecko (54:09)

Perfect. Thank you, Ada. Good luck.

Priestess (54:12)

Thank you.

Gecko (54:14)

Bye, Ada.

Maria (54:15)

Bye.

Priestess (caller) (54:15)

Bye.

Gecko (54:19)

That was Ada. That was an interesting story. I'm wishing her good luck on the sobriety journey. I know that's hard. Five days hanging out with this beautiful homeless guy. I don't know why that sounded like. That sounded romantic. That was like a. In my head, I was picturing it's like a. The Richard Linklater film or something like that. Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebr spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators of some kind. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok. Doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to. To show the world whatever it is that you do best. You can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate live together.

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Priestess (caller) (56:48)

Hello.

Gecko (56:50)

Hi.

Priestess (caller) (56:52)

Hi.

Maria (56:52)

Oh, my gosh. How are you, Geck?

Gecko (56:55)

I'm good. What's your name?

Maria (56:59)

Maria.

Gecko (57:00)

Maria.

Maria (57:01)

You can call me Maria.

Gecko (57:03)

Maria. Can I. Is it okay if I read what you texted me?

Maria (57:09)

Absolutely.

Gecko (57:10)

Okay. All right. You sure?

Priestess (57:12)

Yeah, that's fine.

Gecko (57:13)

Okay. You texted me. These are your words. You said, hey, Geck, I want to talk to you about being a veteran slut bag and getting chlamydia four times. I also need relationship advice.

Maria (57:31)

Yeah, it's unfortunate.

Gecko (57:34)

Chlamydia is not that bad, though. You just take a pill.

Maria (57:37)

Yeah, chlamydia is not that bad, especially if you have health insurance. But I think just being a woman and like, the stigma around can. It can be pretty difficult depending on who gave it to you or if you gave it to somebody else. So.

Gecko (57:56)

Okay. So, yeah. Where. Where do you want to start?

Priestess (58:02)

Well.

Maria (58:05)

I guess we can talk about being a veteran slut bag.

Gecko (58:11)

Okay. What is that? What does that mean to you?

Maria (58:16)

So, basically, while I was in Undergrad, I'm currently 24. While I was in undergrad, I was just going through a really hard time, and it pretty much bordered on, like.

Priestess (58:31)

Sex addiction almost, but not like, I.

Maria (58:36)

Don'T know, like, yeah, it was debilitating, but I also just had a lot of other things going on, a lot of mental health issues, but we're past that now, so. Yeah, I went to a party school, so I think that kind of, like, created some influence.

Gecko (58:56)

Did you have fun? Did you enjoy the time?

Maria (59:00)

Oh, hell yeah.

Gecko (59:01)

Okay.

Maria (59:02)

I had a great time.

Gecko (59:03)

Okay. I mean, it's our bi. It's. I think I've talked about this before, but look, you know, obviously it's a thing you can get addicted to for sure. You know, I've been addicted. I've had, especially when I was in college, fucking, you know, addicted to the apps and, you know, addicted to, you know, gooning and all this kind of crap. But, you know, it's one of our, like, the only true. Like, the only, like, default meaning of life that we have is to survive and have sex. Everything else is like, we're adding on to it, but that's what we're born with, is don't die and reproduce.

Priestess (59:43)

Yeah, that's very true.

Maria (59:45)

Because, like, even growing up, like, my primary doctor was like. And this is like a pediatric doctor, she was like, sexual desire is a very normal thing. And I, like, was so weirded out by it. But I don't know, I was a.

Priestess (60:00)

Pretty sheltered kid growing up, so the.

Maria (60:02)

Moment I was on my own and.

Priestess (60:04)

Independent, it was like, holy shit.

Gecko (60:07)

Yeah.

Maria (60:07)

Nobody can tell me no.

Priestess (60:09)

Right, Right.

Gecko (60:11)

It's a weird. It is. I find it so weird that I don't know how we evolved like this, like, societally, that one of our prime, like one of our two primary, like, innate goals is, like, taboo. You know, it's like, under the. It's weird, like, eating and surviving. That one is. You know, people love talking about food and eating, but, like, you could, like, like, if. Like, if you're like, if you had a food blog, right? And you were like, look at all this food that I'm eating and all the nutrients I'm getting from it so I can continue to survive. People be like, oh, that's cool. But if you started a blog of, like, you know, I'm having sex with all these guys, people be like, what is this? But it's like, they're the same. It's just you enacting the. The. The bio. The biological goals that were endowed with. It's weird. They're, like, on the similar. On the same level, but they're treated so differently. It's weird.

Maria (61:16)

Well, if you think about it too, like, it's a double standard because, like, from a Woman's perspective. I mean, it's 20, 25, and there's the whole concept of female empowerment, inequality. And there's a different attitude when women have a higher, like, body count. I hate that phrase. But. And, like, it's not okay, but when men do, it's like, ah, you're the man. Like, there's just no problem with that.

Gecko (61:47)

Yeah, I feel like that comes from. Well, one. I think that comes from, like, people just being, like, jealous and angry. And then I don't. That's the main thing I think that comes from. It's just like, again, yeah. Guys being jealous and angry or just whatever this, like, general cultural thing we have, even beyond the. The world of sex, of just, like, people wanting to, like, judge what other people do with their lives. I mean, where do you think that comes from?

Maria (62:27)

Like, judgment, Judging other people's, like, sexuality? I think that just comes from, like, how you grew up, to be honest, because, like, I don't know. I'm a. I have a psych major, and I'm currently in nursing school. So, like, we learn a lot about, you know, Erickson's theory of development, and obviously Freud is a big one too. But that nature versus nurture argument, I think initially, I mean, at least for me growing up, it was never really talked about, and I was pretty shielded from a lot of things and. But I think depending on if you make the decision to, you know, leave the nest and go to school, and then you're kind of faced with other people's attitudes.

Gecko (63:23)

Yeah, yeah.

Maria (63:25)

So that makes sense. Sorry, I'm, like, in shock right now because I'm, like, been trying to call you, and I'm like, oh, my God, please. And then I saw your number come up.

Priestess (caller) (63:34)

I'm like, gasp.

Gecko (63:36)

So you. You said you had a sheltered life. Like, what. What. What did that look like?

Priestess (caller) (63:42)

My parents were just very strict with me.

Maria (63:45)

I wasn't allowed to, like, go to any parties in high school drinking. Like, I wasn't allowed to do that. Like, maybe I would have a glass of wine at dinner, but that was very few and far between. I had Life360 on my phone throughout high school as well.

Gecko (64:03)

And just wait, what is life360?

Maria (64:06)

You know, like, find my iPhone.

Gecko (64:08)

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Maria (64:10)

It's like, find my iPhone, but on steroids.

Gecko (64:13)

Oh, okay. So your parents were, like, tracking your location at all times?

Maria (64:17)

Yeah, and I don't know, we just didn't really. We didn't really talk about, like, sex or consent or, like, I don't know, having Boundaries. Like, I wasn't really. I wasn't allowed to have my door.

Priestess (64:30)

Closed or anything like that.

Gecko (64:34)

You never had, like, any kind. You never had any kind of privacy?

Maria (64:38)

No. My phone would be downstairs, like at 7 o' clock at night.

Gecko (64:43)

So you couldn't even. You couldn't even jack off?

Maria (64:46)

No.

Gecko (64:48)

That's crazy.

Maria (64:48)

I think the first time I did that, I was like, I don't know, like, 19, which is like, horrifying, but. Yeah, it's not horrifying bad, but like, horrifying weird.

Gecko (65:00)

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Maria (65:05)

Somewhat. I mean, it's very complicated because I.

Priestess (65:08)

Have a sister who's a lot older.

Maria (65:12)

Than me, so, like, I spent a lot of time growing up, like, watching how she navigated their relationship. So I kind of learned, like, what to do and what not to do.

Gecko (65:25)

But how did your sister end up?

Maria (65:31)

Oh, she, like, moved away, like a few hours away, so. But she's doing really good now. I mean, she. She has her master, she has a really good job, she's currently dating, so I would say she's pretty happy.

Gecko (65:52)

So what is your life like and what. What is this relationship advice that you are in need of? I don't know if I'm that good at. Relate. I'm. I don't. I try. I don't know if I'm that good at relationship advice, but I'll try.

Maria (66:07)

Yeah, no, it's okay. I'm just grateful to even be having this conversation with you. I'm sorry, what did you ask?

Gecko (66:16)

You. You. Well, you texted me and you said I need a relationship advice.

Maria (66:20)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, I have really bad anxiety and PTSD and depression.

Gecko (66:30)

Okay.

Maria (66:31)

And ADHD as well.

Gecko (66:32)

Okay.

Maria (66:33)

Just like a whole, like, I don't know, you know, the guy with the trench coat and he's like trying to sell you things out of the trench coat and he's like, this is everything I got. What do you want? Yeah, like, yeah, that's me.

Gecko (66:45)

Okay, that's mental illnesses.

Maria (66:47)

Yeah.

Priestess (66:49)

So there's this guy, and it's been kind of like talking on and off.

Maria (66:57)

But he has a very traumatic attachment to this girl that he used to date.

Priestess (67:07)

And he's like, telling me that he.

Maria (67:10)

Wants to take it slow and be.

Priestess (67:13)

Friends and all this stuff, and we.

Maria (67:16)

Hang out sometimes and it's great. And I have a lot of feelings for him and he knows that. And I've been trying to be, like, open and honest, but also not intense, which with having such bad anxiety, like, I do, like, I'M always seeking that reinsurance, and, like, I just never know.

Priestess (67:36)

How to take it slow. And he wants to be sexual, and.

Maria (67:41)

I'm, like, trying to slow that part of myself down and just kind of, like, redirect my own behavior, not given to it. So, like, I just don't know if I should create some distance for him to heal and give him that time or if I should, like, not abandon but, like, give it a break. But he says that he really enjoys my company, and, like, he says all these nice things.

Gecko (68:09)

Can I interrupt? Can I interrupt you for a second?

Priestess (68:12)

Yeah.

Gecko (68:12)

Who is whistling in the background behind you?

Priestess (caller) (68:16)

Oh, I have a bird.

Gecko (68:17)

Oh, well, you have a bird?

Maria (68:20)

Yeah.

Gecko (68:20)

I thought that was, like, a guy.

Maria (68:23)

No, no, no, no. I have a. I have a cockatiel.

Gecko (68:27)

Okay. He's, like, whistling like a human being. That's kind of. That's uncanny.

Maria (68:32)

Yeah, he likes to sing if you're happy and you know it.

Priestess (68:36)

He says, what the hey? He can talk, kind of.

Maria (68:41)

It's not like talking talking. Like, you know, like, with bigger parrots, like, you can actually make out complete sentences that they're making. Like, he kind of. He understands his phonics, I guess.

Gecko (68:56)

I'm so. I'm. He really sounds like a real human being that's whistling in the background. Okay. Anyway. All right, this guy. Well, I mean, look, this guy told you you got to believe when. You got to believe him when he tells you these things, right? I mean, this guy, he. He says he just wants to be friends. You two are clearly not on the same level of investment, or not even not on the same level investment. You guys are on, like, different planets of investment. You're on, like, opposites. And also, you haven't even known this guy for that long, have you?

Maria (69:32)

I mean, we've known each other for, I want to say, like, seven years.

Gecko (69:37)

Oh, shit. Okay. Have you, like, been in love with.

Maria (69:40)

Him and there's a lot of proximity and, like, overlap with our friend groups.

Gecko (69:44)

Oh, okay.

Maria (69:45)

So, yeah, I've, like, witnessed him through different relationships, and, like, I've heard things, and I'm like, damn, this man been through the. The fucking ringer. But I'm not trying to, like, fix him or anything either.

Gecko (70:02)

Well, yeah, I mean, I think that this stuff should be easy, right? So if there's. This seems like there's too much. There seems like there'd be to be too much distance between you guys in terms of what you actually are desiring. And it's not like this is a guy that you've Been. I mean, you've known him for a while, but it's not like he's been your boyfriend for, you know, seven years and you want to try to work things out. So. Yeah, I would probably. I would. I would. I would do an audit to see if this relationship is causing more of a benefit or more of a strife to you and then act upon that information.

Maria (70:48)

I think there's definitely, like, some benefit because, I don't know, I kind of take everything that I encounter at the lesson. I mean, I've been through years of therapy, so I think the good thing about it is, like, I'm learning how to slow down. But there's, like, that one part of.

Priestess (71:08)

Me that's like, dude.

Maria (71:13)

Going to move on. Let's go. It's not that deep, but.

Gecko (71:16)

Yeah, but you can't. Yeah, but he's not. He doesn't want. You can't make him give that to you. You know, he doesn't sound too. He sounds like he wants to just, like, chill.

Maria (71:24)

Yeah. Oh, for sure.

Gecko (71:30)

Where'd you get a bird?

Maria (71:34)

I got him from a bird.

Priestess (71:36)

Like a mom and pop shop.

Maria (71:39)

He's two years old. I've had him since he was hatched. Now he's freaking out.

Priestess (71:48)

But, yeah, he's just. He's just a little baby.

Gecko (71:51)

What's the rest. What's your life like outside of this after you graduated from school?

Maria (71:58)

So I graduated with my bachelor's in psychology. I am a nursing student in an accelerated program, and I also work at a law firm, so I'm all over the place.

Gecko (72:13)

That's pretty good. All right. You got a good. You got a good life. Don't, don't. Don't get too distracted from it. That's what I'll say.

Maria (72:20)

Yeah.

Gecko (72:22)

Is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? I'm sorry I cut you off. You're about to say something.

Maria (72:28)

No, it's okay. All I would say is wrap it before you tap it and be kind to everybody because you don't know what they're going through.

Gecko (72:39)

Rock and roll. What's your name again?

Maria (72:42)

Maria.

Gecko (72:43)

Maria. Thanks for calling, Maria.

Priestess (72:46)

Have a good day, Georgia.

Gecko (73:07)

Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're going to want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to the show are creators of some kind, and whatever it is you guys do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. So check out Live Fest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live Together.

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Coca Cola Sponsor (75:25)

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Gecko (75:26)

All.

Coca Cola Sponsor (75:26)

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Priestess (76:11)

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.