Therapy Gecko — “MY DAD WON’T LEAVE MY BASEMENT”
Podcast: Therapy Gecko (iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Lyle, “the Gecko”
Date: December 3, 2025
Episode: “MY DAD WON’T LEAVE MY BASEMENT”
Overview
In this episode, Lyle (aka Gecko), the unlicensed lizard therapist and host, takes calls from listeners across the world for candid conversations about personal and sometimes bizarre struggles. The two major calls featured explore profound family tension and difficult boundaries (Priestess), the chaos of addiction and loneliness (Ada), and the philosophy of sexual stigma and relationships (Maria). Through it all, Lyle brings a compassionate but laid-back tone, using humor and open-ended reflection rather than clinical advice.
1. Call One: Priestess – My Dad Won’t Leave My Basement
Timestamps: [02:02–27:07]
Story Summary
- Situation: Priestess’s father lost his home and moved into her unfinished basement with little warning. He's been there three months, causing tension with her husband (and roommate), in a crowded house with just one bathroom.
- Complications: Priestess has a love-hate history with her dad, marked by past emotional abuse, manipulation, and his suspected mental health struggles (possibly bipolar). His current disregard for boundaries, resistance to seeking help, and lack of contribution are triggering past trauma and pressing current stress—especially poignant as she just had her first child.
- Her Dilemma: She feels stuck between her duty and love for her dad (who once helped shape her resilience) and the needs of her new family, her own health, and her marriage.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
- Boundaries & Respect
- Priestess struggles to maintain healthy boundaries; her father is resistant, often disrespectful, and sometimes blames her or her husband for conflicts.
- "[My dad] kind of gets this attitude of, like, 'Oh, he could just talk to me himself,' and, like, you know, he's being a [jerk] or something. I'm like, whoa. First of all, don't even say that..." (05:23, Priestess)
- Cycle of Caretaking vs. Self-sacrifice
- Priestess describes feeling responsible for her father’s well-being, but Gecko highlights the cost: “You have to be there for yourself and your kid and your husband...Your energy—I don't think it can continue to expand outside of your own life at this point." (17:30, Gecko)
- Support Systems and Emotional Labor
- Priestess’s husband is frustrated, having witnessed the father’s verbal abuse. She wants her husband to forgive, but acknowledges he’s justified in his feelings: “I was trying to reconnect with my dad because my grandma passed...a lot of phone calls of me getting screamed at...my husband was the one holding me together.” (14:01, Priestess)
- Gecko draws a parallel to the "Last Temptation of Christ," urging Priestess that she doesn't have to be a martyr: "Being Jesus sucks ass...You don’t have to be Jesus. You can just be Priestess." (23:02, Gecko)
- Faith, Fortitude, and Letting Go
- Priestess shares her faith and a belief that her blessings aren’t really hers, describing herself as a person of humility, but admits this mindset’s limits.
- “[Y]ou don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.” (26:12, Gecko)
- Resource Navigation
- Attempts are being made to get her father government assistance, but his reluctance to engage with doctors or systems makes progress slow; she’s also searching for low-impact jobs to give his life more structure and meaning.
Notable Quotes
- “It’s noble the way you operate your life...but just so you—like, you don’t have to be Jesus...You don’t have to be the Messiah for your father...You can just be Priestess.” — Gecko [23:02]
- “A lot of my joy and things were robbed in the process of being pregnant and stuff just because I was worried about him becoming homeless.” — Priestess [19:18]
Memorable Moment
- Gecko's Allegory about The Last Temptation of Christ, encouraging Priestess to step down from martyrdom for her father and prioritize her own nuclear family: “[Your husband's] trying to take you off the cross and be like, ‘hey, you don’t have to be Jesus.’” (22:25)
2. Call Two: Ada – I Fell In Love With a Homeless Man and He Stole My Suitcase
Timestamps: [32:51–54:14]
Story Summary
- Situation: Ada, calling from Prague, recounts how loneliness and her own addiction issues led her to fall for a homeless man while working in Switzerland—leading not only to a transient street romance but also to the loss of her suitcase and a dangerous spiral.
- Context: Ada has BPD and a history of addiction; after missing her train, she befriended the only safe-seeming person nearby, a homeless man. She slept next to him on the street for days, let him into her hotel room, and ultimately, he left with her suitcase as she prepared to leave the country.
- Pattern: It's the second time Ada formed intense attachments with unhoused or transient men during vulnerable periods, recognizing these connections as symptomatic of her emotional state and illness.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
- Addiction & Attachment
- Ada’s story is a lens into borderline personality disorder, addiction, and involuntary fixations: “Sometimes I just, like, fall in this fucking involuntarily obsession with someone who, like, I barely know, and like, my main life goal becomes just, like, getting lost from that person.” (37:41, Ada)
- Mental Health Recovery
- Ada returns home and plans to begin an intensive day program: “Literally, like, after I came back from this trip...I was like, this is the last stroll. I'm gonna get sober now and stop doing this crazy shit.” (42:12)
- Hope for a New Path
- Ada discusses plans to either finish her high school diploma or relocate to Spain, expressing hope for change but also the fear and challenge of breaking ingrained patterns.
- Support Systems
- She desires sober friends after years surrounded by people who use drugs, and finds tentative hope in a local Buddhist center: “Maybe this is a place I can find some new friends with a more positive mentality.” (50:14)
- She recognizes groups like AA as double-edged: "[They] advise us not to make relationships...it could mean just relapsing together." (51:24)
Notable Quotes
- “Don’t do drugs. It’s gonna ruin your life. And I don’t know. Have a nice day.” — Ada [53:56]
Memorable Moment
- Ada’s confession of the “romance” with the homeless man is related with dark humor and clarity, especially at the moment she says, “He has my suitcase. Probably until now, if he's alive. I don't know.” (41:05)
3. Call Three: Maria – Veteran Slut Bag, 4x Chlamydia, and Relationship Woes
Timestamps: [56:48–72:46]
Story Summary
- Situation: Maria, a self-described “veteran slut bag,” discusses her sexual history, the stigma attached (including contracting chlamydia four times), and the navigation of a complicated romantic relationship as she works through anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and depression.
- Context: Raised strictly with little privacy, Maria found freedom and sexual expression in college. She reflects openly on sex positivity, double standards, and learning about boundaries too late.
- Her Dilemma: Maria is hung up on a guy with unresolved attachment, but he just wants to be friends and take things slow; she’s wrestling with whether to keep investing emotional energy.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
- Stigma & Sexuality
- Maria recognizes the stigma, especially for women, through personal experience: “Chlamydia is not that bad, especially if you have health insurance. But...the stigma around can...be pretty difficult depending on who gave it to you or if you gave it to somebody else.” (57:34)
- She and Gecko discuss the oddity of how society shames normal, biological drives: "It's weird, they're on the same level, but they're treated so differently." (61:07, Gecko)
- Sheltered Upbringing & Rebellion
- Maria’s strict upbringing left her craving freedom in college: “The moment I was on my own and independent, it was like...nobody can tell me no.” (60:07)
- She details not being allowed even to close the door, her parents tracking her via Life360, and her first masturbation experience at 19.
- Relationship Complexity
- Maria is anxiously attached to a friend with his own baggage; she’s learning to slow down and not "rush into things," but struggles with mismatched expectations.
- “We’re on different planets of investment...You gotta believe him when he tells you these things.” (68:04, Gecko)
- Self-Development
- Maria is reflective and in the process of self-improvement, balancing school, work, and relationships, and learning from her choices.
Notable Quotes
- "All I would say is wrap it before you tap it and be kind to everybody because you don't know what they're going through." — Maria [72:28]
Memorable Moment
- The show is interrupted by Maria’s cockatiel whistling “If You're Happy and You Know It,” providing comic relief and a relatable slice of chaos:
- “Who is whistling in the background behind you?...Oh, you have a bird?” — Gecko (68:12)
- “Yeah, he likes to sing if you're happy and you know it.” — Maria (68:32)
Host's Reflections
- Post-call, Gecko discusses the biblical allegory of the Last Temptation of Christ, unpacking themes of nobility and pointless suffering: “Do you suffer immensely for, I guess, nobility or...do you realize that suffering is pointless and just, like, go live and enjoy life?” (27:11)
- He thinks aloud about what stories like Ada's and Priestess's mean, drawing connections between grand narratives and the microdramas of today's callers.
Conclusion & Takeaways
- Boundaries are crucial—even with family, and especially when history includes trauma.
- Self-sacrifice may seem noble, but healthy limits are essential for your own well-being and your closest relationships.
- Addiction and attachment issues often intertwine, but there is hope in support systems and seeking out positive communities.
- Sexual expression is normal and should be destigmatized—but emotional health and honest communication remain vital.
- Audience Advice:
- “Don’t do drugs.” (Ada)
- “Be kind to everybody because you don’t know what they’re going through.” (Maria)
Notable Quotes Recap
- On boundaries and martyrdom: “Being Jesus sucks. You don’t have to be Jesus. You can just be Priestess.” (Gecko, 23:02)
- On personal energy: “You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.” (Gecko, 26:12)
- On relationships: "You gotta believe him when he tells you these things...you're on different planets of investment." (Gecko, 68:04)
- Audience wisdom: “Wrap it before you tap it and be kind to everybody” (Maria, 72:28)
Episode Navigation (Key Timestamps)
- Priestess and the Basement Dad: [02:02–27:07]
- Ada’s Homeless Romance & Recovery: [32:51–54:14]
- Maria’s Veteran Slutbag Confession: [56:48–72:46]
Tone & Style
Faithful to the Gecko’s blend of irreverence, empathy, and philosophical riffing, the episode is both vulnerable and funny, giving listeners permission to laugh at the absurdity of their struggles while taking them seriously at their core.
Useful for those who haven't listened:
This episode explores deep family wounds, the lure of escapist attachment, the battle with addiction, and the messiness of sexual stigma and modern relationships—all viewed through a comically existential, yet genuinely kind, therapy gecko lens.