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- [00:01]
Lyle
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- [00:33]
Carl
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- [01:34]
Jenny Garth
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- [02:03]
Lyle
Hello.
- [02:04]
Nancy
Hello.
- [02:05]
Lyle
Hey. Hello. Hi. What is your name?
- [02:08]
Nancy
I'm gonna go with Nancy.
- [02:10]
Lyle
Nancy, like Nancy Drew? The famous. What does she do? She's like a detective, right?
- [02:18]
Nancy
I think. Yeah, I think she's like a detective of a book, right? I think.
- [02:23]
Lyle
Yeah. That's cool. Is that where you came up with the name Nancy?
- [02:29]
Nancy
Yeah, I was. I don't know, I was thinking like a fake name and I just thought of Nancy because nobody would guess that I am Nancy.
- [02:39]
Lyle
I don't know. I. The I would be. I could be convinced that your real name Nancy. You sound like A Nancy.
- [02:47]
Nancy
Oh, well, I'm.
- [02:50]
Lyle
Why, you know, you're not, you're not, you're not. I'm gonna assume your gender real quick. Are you a man?
- [02:59]
Nancy
I am a man.
- [03:00]
Lyle
I kind of feel like, like a really, like. I don't know why, but I feel like, like a really, like Nancy could be the name of like a really confident, attractive man. I really feel that way.
- [03:18]
Nancy
That's, that's a pretty good. Yeah. If I ever get a son, I'm gonna name Nancy now.
- [03:24]
Lyle
Well, I, I wouldn't. You shouldn't do that experiment on your son. You should let some other poor. Try that one out. But I, I think it could work. I think Nancy could work as like is a masculine name. Like. Well, it's like. Well like, like actually, I mean there's, there's Clancy, which is like an extremely masculine name. That's like a lumberjack name. Clancy.
- [03:52]
Nancy
Oh, yeah, there's that guy, Tom Clancy. I don't even know who that guy is, but he just shows up on video games.
- [03:58]
Lyle
Yeah, yeah. He's killed a bunch of people. What's up, Nancy? How you doing? What can I. How's. What made you want to call this phone?
- [04:08]
Nancy
This is crazy. I never thought that I would get here, but I. When I was eavesdropping, I mean daydreaming while I do quite a lot, I thought about. I could tell you a story of how I was a CEO of a small company at an age of 19.
- [04:32]
Lyle
You were the CEO of a company at the age of 19? What kind of, what kind of company was that? Were you a drug dealer?
- [04:46]
Nancy
No. So it was actually my dad's company. It was like a physical therapy machine manufacturing company. So like those like heating pads and like massage chairs, I guess. And then. Yeah, and then he suddenly died.
- [05:09]
Lyle
Oh.
- [05:10]
Nancy
I had to take over the company for like a week.
- [05:15]
Lyle
I'm, I'm. I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. But also I have to imagine that a lot of the people who worked at that company were a little pissed off that the CEO's 19 year old son was now telling them what to do.
- [05:30]
Nancy
I mean. Yeah, I mean the. What was. I was trying to, I don't know, just survive. I mean the worst thing was my uncle was trying to basically overthrow me and trying to take over the company and his wife. So basically my aunt knew that and was scheming with basically rest of the family to prevent him from doing that.
- [06:03]
Lyle
Bro, this is the plot. I think this is the plot of the Lion King. Right?
- [06:11]
Nancy
I Think this is the plot.
- [06:13]
Lyle
Yeah, this is the plot of the Lion King. Simba's dad, Mufasa dies, and so he becomes the king of the. Of the massage chair company, and his uncle gets, like, really pissed off and jealous and tries to dethrone him.
- [06:33]
Nancy
Yeah. Yeah, that's true, bro.
- [06:34]
Lyle
You live. Bro, you lived the Lion King, but for massage chairs, I guess.
- [06:40]
Nancy
Yeah, I guess I am the massage chair king. Lion King.
- [06:45]
Lyle
Yeah, you're the massage chair Lion King. So what happened with your uncle? Did he, like, did he banish you?
- [06:53]
Nancy
No. So actually what happened was I was a CEO and then my aunt came up to me and was like, listen, dude, this is like your uncle's trying to overthrow the company, but your dad never thought that he was a good, like a good fit. Fit for the CEO. And I don't agree also. So we're gonna create a watertight contract so that he cannot take over the company. So me at 19, by the way, this, I like, I'm an American. And this happened in Indonesia because that's where my dad's business was. So I was like, jet lagged because I just flew like 12 hours out of freaking nowhere.
- [07:43]
Lyle
Your dad. Your dad passes away and then, like, how soon after you get the news are you thrown on a plane to Indonesia?
- [07:53]
Nancy
Oh, yeah, like the day after.
- [07:55]
Lyle
That's insane because I got.
- [07:57]
Nancy
I got the call from my sister, like, oh, by the way, dad died. And the next day I flew and then I went there. I don't. I don't know how long the plane ride was, probably like hours. And then I got there and then basically his, like, biggest shareholder, slash his mentor, who was like 70 years old, was basically told me, like, by the way, this company is too small. It doesn't have a board. And because this is a very patriarchal culture, you're the only son, so you are in charge. So I was like, what the hell? So that's how kind of it became that. And then basically I was like the proxy. My mom made most of the decision, but. But I was kind of like the figurehead, I guess.
- [08:59]
Lyle
Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, that's how most that. I think that's how most organizations work is that there's a guy who, like, is, you know, he's the quote, unquote, CEO, president, whatever. But it's really, you know, his mom or the shareholders that actually make the decisions.
- [09:23]
Nancy
Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's true. Yeah. So that's kind of what I told the shareholder to too. Like, dude, I am in college. I don't know anything about business. But yeah, so we have to create like a watertight contract so that my uncle could not take over. And then we were also afraid that when he finds out the news that he was not gonna take over the company, which I thought he thought it was guaranteed, we had to like basically create like a protection system for my aunt so he doesn't do anything rash out of anger. So yeah, so that's what happened.
- [10:11]
Lyle
Yeah, I, I, I was curious about that. Like, what happened with your uncle? Did he, did he crash out? Did he get pissed?
- [10:21]
Nancy
Yeah, I mean, so the, so this was kind of the game plan. The game plan was we write the contract, we give it to my aunt with an excuse that the, the 70 year old shareholder will basically take my place in. An excuse that I have to go back to school, blah, blah, blah. And, and basically like I flew out to basically get rid of, like to not be in the mess when it happened. I just told them to just message me if shit hits the fan. And all I heard was all good. So I'm assuming shit did not hit the fan too much.
- [11:09]
Lyle
Is your dad Indonesian? Is your family like Indonesian or you guys just like, why is the company in Indonesia?
- [11:17]
Nancy
Yeah, so my family, so my, my ethnicity is Korean. I was, I'm from here, but my dad's family is from Korea. And then I guess like, I don't really know the logistics, but I just, I think just opening a company and managing a company was a lot cheaper. Indonesia and my, and an uncle who I spoke about before lived there. So I think just because of like connections and yeah, just mostly connections and opportunity. I'm assuming he started his company in Indonesia and he was going through too. I did not know this, but then like apparently like he had like all the rights, proper visas and everything, but apparently like police will be waiting outside his house waiting for a bribe or if, you know, if he doesn't bribe them, then they can just deport him. So he was going through that too. So it's, it was a lot.
- [12:27]
Lyle
Were you, were you, were you close with your dad at the time that he passed away? Did you have much of a relationship with him?
- [12:36]
Nancy
So this is kind of the weird thing. I think we kind of did. So like, because of his business and because I was in America, I like the last time before he died, like the last time I saw him was like, I don't know, like 10 years ago. And he would, whoa, come in like once in a while, like, but like he, we would always like talk on the Phone. Like every. I would say like, like three, four times a week we would talk. But. Yeah, okay, you like, everybody, go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna say like, everybody thought like my mom and dad were divorced because, like they're separated for so long, but honestly it was just. My dad was just financially supporting us and that's it.
- [13:28]
Lyle
Hold on. So. So you're telling me. Okay, you telling me and you lit. You were living with your mom. Like your mom was the parent in the house with you?
- [13:38]
Nancy
Yeah.
- [13:38]
Lyle
Okay, so you're, you tell. Do you tell me that your dad went to Indonesia and just didn't come back for 10 years and so you. But you would still. But you would still talk to him on the phone three times a week, but you didn't see him in person in 10 years? Yeah, I mean, he didn't see your mom in person for 10 years.
- [14:04]
Nancy
Yeah, I mean, he did like come to visit like once I think, like in the middle of it. So like maybe three, four, like maybe like five years since we were separated because of the whole thing. So I saw him once then, but like, other than that. Yeah, it was, it was kind of years of not seeing him.
- [14:28]
Bob
So.
- [14:29]
Nancy
Yeah, it was kind of like a time machine too, because he would remember like things that I liked five years ago. And when I saw him that day, he would buy things or give me gifts that I was interested in five years ago and bring them and was like, oh, I was a child and now I'm more of a teenager now, so I'm not really into into cartoons on my T shirt, but okay, you know.
- [14:57]
Lyle
Damn, man. So you. What's. Do you have any, like. Okay, where I'm. Where in America where you live in.
- [15:06]
Nancy
I'm gonna say very vague and say like West Coast.
- [15:10]
Lyle
Okay. And so, yeah, I mean, how did it feel when your dad passed away? Because I mean, that's such a interest. That's such an interesting. I've never heard. I've. You know, obviously, you know, there are people, you know, I've talked to on the show and that I've heard of, of like, you know, their dads weren't in their lives and then, you know, those people whose dads are in their lives, but your dad is like, was like a phone.
- [15:42]
Nancy
Yeah. I mean, it was definitely kind of weird because I don't know, like, my, my siblings were more attached with my dad for sure. I don't know. I think they just had better memories of him. I have like mental issues that like long term memory is like very foggy. Because of it. So I don't remember much.
- [16:05]
Lyle
So.
- [16:06]
Nancy
Yeah, so, like, I would say, like, a lot of most of my memory is just, like, of his voice, I guess. I mean, I do still, like, remember, like, little slivers of seeing him and things like that. But then, yeah, I think that was kind of the thing was, like, on the plane, I just remember thinking, like, oh, like, last time I saw him was, like, five years ago, and the next time I'm gonna see him is, like, dead. Which was true. I did see him dead. But then, like, also was also, like, everybody around me was like. I don't know, like, was, like, urging me to be sadder than I looked. And I felt like I had to be crying and be sad, but I don't know. And I kind of felt bad about it too. I was like, this is my dad. Like, yeah, I'm, like, very sad about it, but, like, I don't look like, you know, like, my mom, who's, like, on the floor, like, about to pass out. You know what I mean?
- [17:13]
Lyle
So your mom was very sad?
- [17:16]
Nancy
Oh, yeah, yeah, my mom was very sad. Yeah.
- [17:20]
Lyle
And. But did she see him very often over those 10 years?
- [17:25]
Nancy
No, she was, like, with us, so it was kind of like that too. I mean, she's kind of an odd character, too. She, like. She's one person that I know who, like, genuinely is okay without interacting with humans as much if that. Like, I've never, like, seen her really lonely, and she literally never really gets out of the house. She has, like, maybe one or two friends, so I don't know. And I think, like, my dad was maybe the one anchor she had at that time, so, I mean. And also, you know, like, he's her husband, so I guess it makes sense that he was. She was very devastated.
- [18:09]
Lyle
Interesting. Interesting. Why? Are you the youngest? Are you. Are you the oldest?
- [18:17]
Nancy
I'm the middle child, so. But, like. But I have two sisters, so I guess. I guess, like, the logistic was like, I'm the only man of the house. And it's like. Yeah. And it's like a traditional Asian household, so I think that's kind of how it was. And also, my older sister could not leave the country at the time because of, like, visa and issues like that, so.
- [18:45]
Lyle
Huh. Interesting. So how's your relationship with your mom?
- [18:55]
Nancy
Oh, not the greatest, to be honest. I mean, we are working on it, I guess, but, like, like, she. I mean, we still, like, talking, like, once in a while, but. So my mom's kind of a. Has an odd personality. In a way that like other moms would like really appreciate, like if their son calls them and you know, but like, she's more the person, like, if I call, then she's like, only call me if you have like an objective. If there's something that we need to talk about. Yeah, yeah, she's. Yeah, she's very much like that. I mean, she's gotten better because I've like told older, like, hey, like, I just want to catch up and you know, like, see how you're doing. Because now she travels for work, so. So, you know, like, I would love to just catch up. So now she's better at just answering my phone and. But yeah, but she's kind of an oddball. But I think that's kind of how she survived the whole turmoil too, because I think, I think that just allowed her to be more resilient, I guess.
- [20:07]
Lyle
Hmm. Bro, how are you doing? Like, oh, like, like, let me, let me stop you real quick. All right, so you. This hat. Okay, so to go back to your main story. Okay, so you became the CEO of this company. You were there for like a week and now who's running the company now?
- [20:30]
Nancy
Oh, yeah, so that 70 year old shareholder. So we basically created the contract and said, hey, you're going to take over the company. And, and he was actually very nice about it. And he said, you know, like, you guys are still the family. So what profit, like comes out of it? Like, we will give like sliver percentage of it too. And I, and I think, and I think, I don't know if this is correct, but I just remember I'm like, I'm just doing this to save the employees because they need jobs. I generally don't care about profit, I don't care about money. This is a whole shit show that I don't want to be a part of.
- [21:10]
Lyle
Interesting.
- [21:11]
Nancy
So, so I remember I just left and I told my mom too. I was like, I don't want to be a part of this. If things happen, things happen. If can you just take care of it? Because I don't want to be a part of it. And I think last thing I heard was that basically like that company got liquidated and I think it got consumed by another bigger company, if I remember correctly. So because I remember I was like, I was like receiving chats from my aunt, just like updates or like, and I would just ignore them because my mom would just deal with it. I was like, that's a path I just want to leave. But then I stopped hearing them and Then I remember my mom's like, oh, yeah, that company is no more. So I was like, okay, well, good for. Good for us. I guess so.
- [22:05]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [22:05]
Nancy
So that's what happened to the company.
- [22:07]
Lyle
How. How. Okay, so this was when you were 19. How old are you now?
- [22:11]
Nancy
I am now almost 29. 30. 30.
- [22:16]
Lyle
Oh. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Okay. Damn. All right. So this was a long time ago.
- [22:23]
Nancy
Oh, yeah, yeah, this was a long time ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Many years of therapy and not, like, a real one. And then. So I'm. I'm able to talk about it, I guess, bro.
- [22:35]
Lyle
How. Okay, so back to what I. Yeah. How you doing now, man? What's up? God damn. 11 years. Okay. What's up? How you doing?
- [22:42]
Nancy
Oh, I'm doing great now. I just tell this story, and people are like. To my friends, I guess, and they're like, dude, this is like a drama. And I'm like, yeah, I guess so. I'm doing great, though now. I am in a PhD program and I'm about to graduate. And. Yeah, so everything's going pretty well.
- [23:07]
Lyle
Cool. Do you still talk to your mom? Or is it like, you know, she's like, only call me when you need some.
- [23:15]
Nancy
Oh, actually, yeah. So. So I actually just got back from a family reunion trip because. Because my mom's mom, so my Grandma, she's like, 90, so my mom wanted this to be like, a last little trip before she probably will pass away soon. So I actually just got back from family reunion with my mom, my siblings, and my uncle, aunt, and cousins who I have not seen for, like, 20 years. So I saw them for the first time, like, 20 years, like, two, three days ago, which was pretty wild, but, yeah.
- [23:58]
Lyle
And you still keep up with your siblings, your sisters?
- [24:02]
Nancy
Oh, yeah, yeah. My sisters are like. I'm kind of the. I guess, like, my anchor to the family. I like. They. I still, like, hang out with them and get along with them and text them, so. Yeah.
- [24:19]
Lyle
Nice, man. You got a. You got a. You got a. A lady. A guy in your life. What's. What's going on over there?
- [24:28]
Nancy
Yeah, I actually. I recently started dating this girl. I mean, like, we've been talking for, like, four months, but, like. And, like, recently became serious, I guess. Yeah, she's pretty cool. Yeah.
- [24:47]
Lyle
Cool. Do you. Do you, like, get. Did you, like, say, did you get any money from. From this company that you, like, saved at all, or was that kind of just like a. Was that. Was that lucrative at all?
- [25:02]
Nancy
Actually, no. So when we, like. I remember, like, when. Like, when we were just processing everything. We. I remember just like counting the investments, like, because a lot of investments actually comes with debt. I guess I just, I don't know how money works. But basically the profit that we were making at the time were basically split even with like the depth that the company had, so. Oh, I think we. Yeah, so I think we basically didn't get anything. Or if we did, I think that covered for like the funeral and other stuff that we had to do while we were there.
- [25:40]
Lyle
Yeah, we just broke even.
- [25:44]
Nancy
Yeah.
- [25:46]
Lyle
Huh. This is an interesting, interesting story. This is very interesting. Do you feel like. Well, you said you went through like multiple years of therapy, whatever. Like, do, do you think like this untraditional or. I guess I don't. Maybe it's not untraditional. Maybe it, it is traditional. I don't know. But is it like, do you think this family dynamic had like a long term effect on you now that you're like, you know, approaching 30? Like, do you feel like, like, like, like it's still like lingering somehow?
- [26:20]
Nancy
I mean, like, it's something that I personally like, steer away from it. So like, you know, like the whole like Asian traditional, like, IV idea of like. Oh, you know, like, no matter what your parents do, like, it could, they could do like absolutely 100 wrong. Like, you know, you still need to follow them and you know, you need to like, basically, you know, support them until they die and you know, be. Feel like you'd be. Have to be indebted to them like for the rest of your life kind of thing. My sister still kind of believe that. I think that's why they are more like family oriented and still like, live with my, like live near my mom and things. And I live across the country now, but I, I think I just kind of steered really away from that, you know. I think that's also why I clash with my mom a lot because my sisters are always like, you know, like, it is. That is how she is, you know, so just don't make her mad, you know, just like move along with it while I try to kind of, as they put it, like, like put more fuel in the fire, you know, like if, like I try to be like, you know, she. What she said or what she did was wrong, like, we should not do this, you know. So actually another crazy thing now that you say this, so kind of going off of that ideology, like, my mom actually never told my grandma that my dad is dead. So even during their family reunion, my grandma still thought my dad was alive and was asking Me, like, was your. Could your dad not come to the reunion because he's busy. And I was like, yeah, he's just really busy.
- [28:15]
Lyle
How long. How long after he died was this?
- [28:20]
Nancy
I mean, this was, like, last week, so I guess it was like, Jesus, it's been like, 10 years.
- [28:28]
Lyle
That's kind of crazy.
- [28:32]
Nancy
Yeah.
- [28:32]
Cole
So.
- [28:33]
Nancy
Yeah, so, like, I always say, like, there's gonna be that. Like, my grandma's gonna be that meme of, like, a surprised dude's face, like, when she goes up to heaven and sees my dad. Like, why the are you here? You know? So. So. Yeah.
- [28:50]
Lyle
Interesting. What? Nancy, right? Yeah, Nancy. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do this. I don't know how many people we got hanging out in the. The live Twitch chat, but if anyone in the live Twitch Chat has questions for Nancy, I'm gonna. I'm gonna let. Let's let answer some questions or feed you some questions from the live Twitch Chat if the Twitch Chat wants to ask any questions. Sometimes the Twitch Chat asks questions. Other times, they just talk to each other about whatever is going on in their life. Okay, here we go. All right. Someone said, why did you not tell the grandma that your dad is dead?
- [29:37]
Nancy
Oh, yeah. So, like. So my family's reasoning was like, she's very old because she was, like, 80 at that time. And they thought that the news of, like, they were very close. Like, he was. Like, she. She treated him like. Like her own son. So they thought that if she found out that he was dead, then that would cause so much, like, mental stress on him, on her, that she would also die. But. Yeah, so that's what that was, the reasoning.
- [30:12]
Lyle
Yeah, that makes Sense. What's your PhD in?
- [30:17]
Nancy
Oh, so I'm gonna also be very vague and say, like, related to some medical science research is what I'm gonna say.
- [30:26]
Lyle
That sounds important. That sounds like it's good. It sounds like you're doing something important and real. You're not getting, like. If you're not doing, like, film history or some bullshit, someone people are saying, did the uncle kill the dad? Do you think your uncle killed your dad?
- [30:44]
Nancy
No, I know that for sure. That's not what happened. So he actually died from, like, a brain bleed? Actually, this is a really crazy story too. So my dad had high blood pressure for, like, the longest time, and I guess, like, he was, like, out in the middle of nowhere, like, in Indonesia for, like, a business meeting with that shareholder that. That I talked about. And I guess, like, an aneurysm in his brain, like, burst in the middle of night. Because I guess he was just very stressed about that business meeting. So, like, 2:00am, 3:00am like, my shareholder, the shareholder guy said, you know, I'm gonna give him a name. He's named Brian. So. Brian. Apparently, like, I was sleeping next to him in a hotel room, and my dad, like, suddenly, like, turned on the night lamp, almost like, my meds, my meds, and they fell down. And then he was. And then, like, the nearest hospital was, like. I think they said, like, five hours. And so the ambulance was driving for five hours. But obviously, if you have a brain bleed, you don't have five hours. So I guess he passed away in the ambulance and just arrived dead at the hospital, man.
- [32:09]
Lyle
So, yeah, man, he was in the middle. He was like, in the middle of nowhere, Indonesia, five hours away from a hospital and got a brain aneurysm because he was stressed out about a meeting.
- [32:19]
Nancy
Exactly, yeah.
- [32:21]
Lyle
Nuts, man. Do you think. How old was he.
- [32:27]
Nancy
At that time? I think he was, like, early 50s, mid-50s maybe.
- [32:35]
Lyle
Man. Does that make you think about, like, life at all? Are you. Are you, like, damn, I gotta make sure I'm not working so hard I don't get a, like, brain bleed. Oh.
- [32:45]
Nancy
I mean, like, for first few years, I was, like, in this constant state. Like, I could die any moment.
- [32:53]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [32:54]
Nancy
So, yeah, so I was like, a constant. Like, I was like, you know, like, I remember I was, like, walking down the street and I would be like, I could, like, that boss could hit me or, you know, like, something could fall on my head and I could die. And I was, like, in a constant state of panic. But now I kind of, like, flip the other way of, like, I can die any moment. Like, so might as well enjoy every day. Like, like, you know, other people are like, oh, I have this money and I should save, you know, all of it. I mean, yeah, I've just obviously Be fiscally responsible and save some of it, but I'm just like, you know, like, if it'll make you happy, you know, go to that place, you know, buy that whatever ridiculous thing that you want to buy, you know? So I kind of flip the other way now with that ideology, too.
- [33:47]
Lyle
It's kind of funny to me that. Well, I don't. Funny. I don't know. But, like, the. Just the fact that, like, they're like, hey, so your dad died of stress from running this company, so why don't you run it instead?
- [34:03]
Nancy
Right? I mean, yeah. I mean, they were just like, we don't know what to do. And he's there just like, I'm just, like, standing there just, like, waving. And they're like, that's the guy. We're. We're gonna grab that guy.
- [34:18]
Bob
So. So.
- [34:21]
Nancy
Yeah.
- [34:22]
Lyle
All right, let me. Hold on, let me look for one more question. Oh, okay. People were asking if your dad. If your uncle killed your dad, because it was a. It's a Lion King reference, bro. You live. Do you still talk to the uncle? That's my question. That's not in the chat. I'm just curious.
- [34:41]
Nancy
Oh, hell to the no. Yeah, no, I just felt really uncomfortable too. I mean, one, because, like, I know that, like, whole thing, and so that just leaves a bad taste in the mouth. But also, like, while we were there, he knew that he had a chance of taking over the company. So, like, while we were there, he was basically like, quote, unquote, pamper us. Like, take us to, like, fancy department stores. And like, I remember, like, he bought this really expensive lipstick for my sister. And, you know, we obviously were like, oh, you know, politely accept and thank you. And then I remember my sister, like, leaned over like, I don't even wear lipstick. So, like, all that, like, pampering just like. And then, you know, leading to him not getting what he wanted. Yeah, but that's one in it.
- [35:36]
Lyle
Yeah, but that's. That's just him being a dumbass. Yeah, that's him. That's it. Yeah. Because he's like. Like he's just acting under the assumption that he's about to have a shit ton of money and spending it before he can even confirm that he will have it.
- [35:52]
Nancy
Exactly. Yeah. So, like, all in all, because of all of the mess. Yeah. I don't talk to the aunt. I don't talk to the uncle. I try to. Like, I don't think I'll ever go back to Indonesia ever. Oh, yeah.
- [36:09]
Lyle
The aunt, though. The aunt's interesting to me because the aunt was like, yo, my uncle. The aunt was like, yo, my husband's kind of a dumbass. And I don't think he should have this company, so you should. I'm going to make sure that it goes to you.
- [36:24]
Nancy
Yeah, I mean, my. I mean, that's like my aunt, like, she's such a sweetheart. Like, she is one of the nicest person that I've ever met. And I think part of it was like, she, you know, she was my dad's sister, so I think he. She had his best interest.
- [36:40]
Lyle
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, that changes everything. Okay. Oh, that changes completely. Okay. This was your Uncle. This was your uncle. Okay. This is not your blood uncle. This is your uncle by marriage notes.
- [36:53]
Nancy
Yes. It's not like.
- [36:55]
Lyle
Oh, okay. That changes completely everything. Yeah, that changes completely. Yeah. Of course, then of course your aunt is gonna have your. Have your back on that. Or not. Of course. I guess it's not a given, but your aunt. Your aunt could totally. I mean, it's in your aunt's best interest that, you know, she's her. I guess she gets the money, whatever the fuck. But that's. Damn. That's. That's. Yeah. Oh, that makes your uncle, like, a triple dumbass. Honestly, sorry to keep calling your uncle dumbass, but I get the sense you don't particularly like him, and it's fun to call people a dumbass.
- [37:25]
Nancy
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's fine. I. You know, I don't think. I mean, he doesn't speak English, so I don't think he can even listen to this podcast anyway, so.
- [37:35]
Lyle
Well, Nancy again. You know, look, if you're ever thinking about really adopting that name, I think it's a good name. Is. Thank you for sharing this story with us. This was fast. I feel like I just watched a movie talking to you.
- [37:52]
Nancy
Oh, well, I'm glad it was entertaining. Thanks, Lyle.
- [37:57]
Lyle
Is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?
- [38:03]
Nancy
Live your life. Indonesia is a great place. They have great food. Visit at some time. Just get your vaccinations beforehand.
- [38:16]
Lyle
Beautiful. Have a good rest of the night, Nancy. Thank you for sharing and good luck doing medical. Good luck doing medical stuff on the west coast of the United States.
- [38:31]
Nancy
Thank you, sir. You have a good night. Bye, Lyle.
- [38:34]
Lyle
Bye. Bye, Nancy. That was a nice call. That was like, I've never seen. I hate. I do this a lot. Like, I'll be like, oh, that was like the Wire. Never seen the Wire. I was about to say that was like secession, but I've never seen secession, But I think I. I think I know enough about society. I've never seen a single episode or I never read the Wikipedia page. Don't know a single thing about secession, but I know that it's about succeeding. Success, success. And so I'm gonna assume this is. This guy's life is like secession. Lion King vibes. I haven't seen the. Ignore. I have seen the Lion King, but I saw it a long time ago. It's been a while. Maybe I'll go watch it again. Maybe I'll watch it right now.
- [39:25]
Carl
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- [43:39]
Lyle
Hello?
- [43:39]
Bob
Hey, man. I just have like a lot of stuff going on recently and kind of bummed out.
- [43:51]
Lyle
All right.
- [43:53]
Bob
I mean, I'm good. I just. It's just like it's kind of lonely out here.
- [44:00]
Lyle
Where are you? Where's out here?
- [44:03]
Bob
I mean, I'm in my apartment, but like, you know, there's just no people to talk to.
- [44:07]
Lyle
Like even roommates, kind of metaphorically.
- [44:11]
Bob
Yeah.
- [44:12]
Lyle
What? So you have roommates?
- [44:15]
Bob
Yeah, but I mean, like, I can't even ask. I can't even ask this guy, like if he wants to go work out, you know. And then like I've even. I've gone to one of your shows in LA and I brought somebody like a significant other. And then like now, I mean, like, I don't think that my lifestyle was the problem, but I guess my lifestyle was a problem. And now like I don't even talk to that person. Anymore, like, because I just. I mean, New Year's came along, and I just. Is like, I'm just. I just felt like it was a resolute resolution not to talk to that person anymore because I just don't have. I just. I'm not like. I just feel like, you know, if. If you have, like, what do you call that when it's conditional love, and then, like, unconditional love is different, and I'm just like. It was a conditional love type of thing, and I'm just like, yeah. Like, damn. Like, what's up, guys?
- [45:12]
Lyle
Yeah, well, all right. You know, it's. I've. I've actually been thinking recently a lot about that concept because, like, I think all love has. I. I think. I don't think that, like, truly unconditional love exists. I think there's, like. I. Ideally, you find love with, like, the minimum amount of conditions possible. You know what I mean? Like, you could. Like, Like. Like. Like, if you're. Like, if you hit someone, they're probably not gonna love you. You know, That's a good condition to have. Like, there's never gonna. It's never gonna be zero conditions. You know, what you said. What was it? What was your lifestyle that. That. That you said?
- [45:58]
Bob
To be honest, I got fired from my job because I smoke a weed. And I don't think that's a big issue, but. Because, you know, people know who they hired. But I digress. And it's just kind of like, hey, man, like, if you wanted somebody to be like that, why don't you just take my. I would. I would be okay if you just took my bong and just threw it in the trash without me knowing, you know, if you really wanted to be with somebody. Like, so I just feel like the person who I was with didn't take the steps to really, like, appropriate the conditions.
- [46:33]
Lyle
They didn't like that you were smoking weed.
- [46:37]
Bob
Man. No, they didn't. So, like, now do they.
- [46:43]
Lyle
Do they. Did they tell you. They tell you that you did. They didn't like you smoking weed?
- [46:49]
Bob
Yeah, but I was just like. It's just so fucked up, cuz, like, I don't. I'm no contact with my family, too. You know how kids are or whatever. And I'm like, no contact with family. And then, like, people. I don't talk to people either. I just kind of sit. I just kind of sit around and I don't. I don't feel. I don't feel like I need to impress anybody.
- [47:13]
Lyle
All right. What. How old are you? Can I ask you.
- [47:18]
Bob
28.
- [47:19]
Lyle
28.
- [47:22]
Bob
I have stuff going on, like, outside of whatever we're talking about. Like, I have other things I'm doing now.
- [47:29]
Lyle
Okay.
- [47:30]
Bob
That are more important, but, you know, it's kind of like, dang, like, I really wish that I would have somebody to hang out with or at least. Or at least bring with me, you know, to the place I'm going, I guess.
- [47:45]
Lyle
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? You said you have other things going. What are the other things?
- [47:55]
Bob
A recruiter hit me up for the military.
- [47:58]
Lyle
Okay.
- [47:59]
Bob
So, yeah, I have a degree and stuff and whatever. I'm kind of like. I have a background in corrections, I guess, and like, sort of paramilitary. So, you know, I guess it's not unexpected, but they called me and I'm like, I wish I had somebody to bring with me. I don't know if they're listening, but probably not.
- [48:27]
Lyle
You wish you had somebody to bring with you on. On military deployment?
- [48:34]
Bob
Essentially, yeah.
- [48:39]
Lyle
Let me ask you. I. I'm genuinely curious why, you know, in this particular phone call. Because I could sit here and like, do you. I, I guess I would, like. I guess I want to know if there's a particular, like, preference for this phone call. Because I could. We could sit. Well, I'm only asking cuz, like, we could. I could sit here. We could talk and I could. We could attempt to create solutions, perhaps.
- [49:13]
Bob
I mean, I'm not like.
- [49:14]
Lyle
Or we could just. Or we could just. Around. Or we could just. Around. Or I could. Or I could. You might just. Around. Yeah, yeah, around.
- [49:23]
Bob
I'm not super ugly. I'm like, pretty.
- [49:26]
Lyle
No, hold on, hold on. No, what? No, hold on, hold on, hold on. What? Why are you breaking that up even?
- [49:36]
Bob
You know? Because, like, man, I've. I, I. The reason I smoked weed so much is because I just have like, the, the, the, the. The behavior of other people and stuff in the world. And then, like, my behavior versus that, you know. Okay, weed's legal in California, right? And so I'm just like, yeah, smoke weed all day, bro. And then. So, like, that's how I get around socially. But then, like, now that the, the, like, it's not legal federally, so, like, I'm literally getting ripped apart right now. I can't find a job, you know? And like, I thought it was something. I was good. Like, I thought we were good for it. And I'm like, yeah, dude. Like, everyone's kind of relaxed. I was pretty chill. And then now I have no chill. Like, I've found myself kind of, like, insulting People online.
- [50:36]
Lyle
Why are you. I don't want to be a warrior. No, you didn't. No, please, please. I don't. Look, I don't know you at all, but as a fellow, I would love to one day. I. I really. Like a Utopia would look like. One day I go on Reddit and all the po. There's no posts and there's no comments because everyone got a life and went outside. That would make me so happy. If I went on Reddit one day and there was. There was. It was just blank. It was like nothing to be seen because. And then I look outside and everyone's, like, playing catch with each other and, you know, drinking hot cocoa, like, ever. You know, that's. That's utopia right there. And so I. That we could start, you know, with you in that utopia, the key man. Why. What are you. What are you. What are you. What are you insulting. What are you insulting people on Reddit about?
- [51:30]
Bob
You know, I. People need stimulation, whether it's bad or not. But, like, you know, and it's like, sometimes it's not that good, but I do give that good stimulation.
- [51:42]
Lyle
Well, hold on, hold on, hold on.
- [51:44]
Carl
What is your.
- [51:45]
Lyle
Hold on.
- [51:45]
Bob
What is.
- [51:46]
Lyle
What is your idea of good stimulation? Are you. Are you calling people fat on the Internet?
- [51:55]
Bob
Damn. No, I'm just calling. All right. I don't know. I'm kind of losing it now. I'm kind of losing touch. But I'll say this is that a lot of people don't pay attention to what's going on. And I'm like, I'm not. I'm not one for. To be, like, supportive of, like, drugs and stuff, but I will say it's a problem. And then, like, you know, I think it's funny when I see homeless people. I am sorry. I'm sorry.
- [52:25]
Lyle
Hold on, hold on. What? Hold on. Okay, just back up for me real quick. Who are you fighting with on the Internet?
- [52:36]
Bob
I'll be. I'll be saying stuff, you know, against, like, whatever, okay, people. People have like, I need. I need this to be happy. And it's like, dude, I don't even smoke anymore. You know? And then I was like, okay, you need. You need drugs to be happy. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, I will devote my entire cause.
- [52:58]
Lyle
To defeating the illegal drug operations. Okay, hold on. We are. Hold on, hold on. My. What's your name again?
- [53:07]
Bob
Bob.
- [53:07]
Lyle
Bob, we have. We. I. We are. We. This conversation has leapt into a different. To a. On. Into Mars right now. Okay, I'm gonna Reel it. We're gonna reel it.
- [53:18]
Bob
That's where we should send all the drug dealers.
- [53:20]
Lyle
We're gonna reel it back to Earth, okay? We're gonna reel this conversation back to the. The planet Earth. So you. You know what? I don't actually care what you're arguing with people about on the Internet, to be honest with you. I'm curious why. Oh, God. Why do you like getting high all the time? I know. I really. I don't want to go on a whole stupid. Because I can't go. I can't, in any sort of good faith, sit here and tell you to stop getting high because I get high every day. So I can't do that without being a total hypocrite. But I do. But I just. As a fellow human being, and we're on the phone together right now. Just. What? I'm just curious.
- [54:09]
Bob
At the end of the day, man. I'm. I'm just saying, at the end of the day, I want to be able to pay for parking.
- [54:14]
Lyle
Okay?
- [54:15]
Bob
You know what I'm saying?
- [54:16]
Lyle
That's a good goal. That's a great goal to have to be able to pay for parking. I believe you can achieve that.
- [54:23]
Bob
And it's hard. I can't pay for parking. You know, people steal my debit card.
- [54:28]
Lyle
What?
- [54:29]
Bob
I'm taking them out to dinner, you know? And then that person steals my debit card.
- [54:34]
Lyle
Dude, who stole. Who. Who stole your debit card when you took them out to dinner? What are you talking about?
- [54:40]
Bob
Look.
- [54:43]
Nancy
I don't know.
- [54:44]
Bob
It's gone. And I'm like. I'm like, hey, all right. I'm like, hey, I just left this place. I'm checking my wallet. Can't pay for parking.
- [54:55]
Lyle
Here's the thing. I don't know you. It's. Okay. Do me a favor. When. When I. I'm. I'm gonna. This is. I'm gonna put this in a podcast and put it on the Internet. Don't. Don't go into the comments section and argue with people. Just. Just go. Just. I just. Bob. Bob. Is your name what?
- [55:20]
Bob
Coop? You can call me Coop.
- [55:22]
Nancy
All right.
- [55:22]
Lyle
I like. I like Coop. That's a fun name. Did you. Did you have a time in your life where you feel like you felt good?
- [55:38]
Bob
That's fucked up. Why would you ask that? No, yeah, I have.
- [55:41]
Lyle
I have.
- [55:42]
Bob
I have a good time sometimes. I have a good time sometimes, man.
- [55:45]
Lyle
Okay, but you have a good time some. So you. So you. You sometimes have a good time.
- [55:51]
Bob
It. But I have to pay for it. You Know, like, I have to pay for friends to bring them out because they have issues. And then it's like, why did they have issues? Are you a felon or. You know, I just wish people were not so terrible.
- [56:06]
Lyle
What do you. All right, hold on. What? So what? You two things and I. This year. I can sense in your voice that you're about to take this conversation back to Mars, and we're keeping it. We're gonna keep it to Earth. Okay. What. Why are you. Who are you paying to go out with you?
- [56:26]
Bob
No, it's just like, I. I need. I need to, like. I needed to go to, like, you know, sometimes, essentially. You know, it's like I was using the restroom. Right. Like, sometimes I need to use the restroom mentally. Right.
- [56:41]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [56:42]
Bob
And I'm like, okay, let me just hit these people up and see who. And see, like, what I can do to, like, get some social interaction.
- [56:51]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [56:52]
Bob
You know, and then, like, once you're. Once you're like, I even. I had friends in high school, dude. I did. And, like, it just. I, like, cut myself off because I just had. It was a trust issue. Like, really bad trust issue, you know? And then, like, they're talking about, I want to share, like, my bro. Like, that's my girl. Like, you're gonna share or some, right? And so, like, I just. At that point, look. Yeah, I know.
- [57:16]
Lyle
Okay, hold on. And I'm like, dude, all right, I'm gonna stop you again. Let me. Can I ask you.
- [57:20]
Bob
I'm not sharing women with other dudes.
- [57:22]
Lyle
Can I ask you. Do you have a real therapist that you talk to?
- [57:28]
Bob
Yeah, I went to therapy, and this guy just had me fill out his iPad. And then, like, he was, like, really gluttonous, kind of like, fatty boy. And I was like, all right, I'm just gonna walk out of here.
- [57:44]
Lyle
Okay, so. Yeah, so you were like, so if you're there. So if the therapist is fat, you're. You're up. You're kind of like, oh, why am I gonna let you coach my life if you're. If you're fat?
- [57:56]
Bob
Well, I mean, dude looked like he was taking medication for his own self. And then like, bro, like, I. I don't go to a therapist.
- [58:05]
Lyle
Look, it's fair. No one has answers. No, no. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, man. I just.
- [58:12]
Bob
You're not my therapist either. I understand.
- [58:14]
Lyle
I'm not your. No, I'm not. I know I'm not your therapist. I'm just saying we're too. We are two complete strangers talking on the phone together on a podcast right now. I understand that to be the context, and I'm just. But I'm. Okay.
- [58:37]
Bob
I'm. I'm. I just. The thing I want the most if I was on this planet for as long as I will be.
- [58:45]
Nancy
Right.
- [58:45]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [58:45]
Bob
Is like, I wish I could cast a magical spell, dude, and just at least have an inkling of my peace of mind. Like, just on. Like, at least shown to somebody else. Right? Or at least, like, a couple. Like, some people.
- [59:10]
Lyle
Right?
- [59:10]
Bob
At least. At least. Like, if. If I had some energy in my pod in my. In my person, and that energy was, like, projected, I guess that would be nice.
- [59:27]
Lyle
Okay, hold on. Stay right there. Stay right there. Stay right there. If you. Okay, you could. If you could wave a magic wand, you would have peace of mind that was shared with another person.
- [59:43]
Bob
At least. At least one person.
- [59:46]
Lyle
Okay.
- [59:46]
Bob
I mean, I don't know. Here I go.
- [59:48]
Lyle
Well, yeah, but, like, I mean, do you have, like, do you. Do you have peace of mind already? Because you can't have peace of mind to share with another person if you don't have, like, I guess, peace of mind.
- [60:00]
Bob
Well, you know, I mean, I don't want to be weird, but I'm drinking this Michelada, and this Michelada is really good.
- [60:09]
Lyle
Yeah. Alcohol.
- [60:10]
Bob
I've been drinking Micheladas.
- [60:12]
Lyle
Yeah. What is a michelada?
- [60:17]
Bob
Well, you put a beer in a cup, and there's like, a rim of Tajin, and then they give you some salt, like, whatever flavor, and you pour that in a beer, and you have a beer with some salt and tahin rim.
- [60:34]
Cole
That's pretty good.
- [60:35]
Lyle
Yeah. Alcohol will give. It will definitely give you temporary peace of mind, and then you. You. But you kind of borrow the peace of mind. I. I don't. I don't. You don't. I'm getting this. I don't really want to go on a motivational whatever thing, but, hey, we're.
- [60:57]
Bob
Trying our hardest out here, okay?
- [60:58]
Lyle
Yeah, I know you are.
- [61:05]
Bob
But. Yeah.
- [61:06]
Lyle
So do you have a job?
- [61:09]
Bob
What else?
- [61:10]
Lyle
Do you work? Do you work?
- [61:11]
Bob
Dude, I can't. I fill out 200 applications, man.
- [61:15]
Nancy
200.
- [61:16]
Bob
And I have a degree. And, like, I'm like, bro, okay, I smoke weed. I get it. But, like, who's. Who's with me, bro?
- [61:24]
Nancy
Like.
- [61:25]
Bob
Like, why is there, like, is there someone on my phone that's, like, part of, like, the IT department? And they're like, wow, this guy when he's. We're. We. We're bringing him in, so don't give him a job. Let him do this and that and to make some money and then like.
- [61:44]
Lyle
You know, I'm sorry.
- [61:45]
Nancy
Can I.
- [61:46]
Lyle
Can I. Can I. I really don't want to try to go on a mode. I like, I just. I'm was trying so hard. I just want to talk to you. I really don't want to go on a motivational rant, but I have a. I just have a little thing that I want to. Can I go on a little motivational rant? Like a tiny one?
- [62:03]
Bob
I mean, if it makes. I mean.
- [62:08]
Lyle
All right, you know what? You know what? All right, you know, fine. All right, fine, fine. I won't. I won't. Cuz I know. I tried.
- [62:16]
Bob
A special place for me, man. I have, like, a special place in my heart for you.
- [62:20]
Lyle
Thank you.
- [62:21]
Bob
Feel free.
- [62:24]
Lyle
Okay. All right, listen. First of all, just say, look, and this is a thing across the fucking board. The. It's just across the fucking board that, yes, getting a job is like. It's really hard. It's like insanely fucking difficult. Even if you fill out 200 motherfucking app, it's like, annoying. It's really hard. I'm. I'm the most privileged individual on the planet that I can do this stupid podcast and I don't have to do it, but I know it's hard. I just. If I ju. The thing that's fucking standing out to me in talking to you and I is just that when you say that, like, everything is terrible and people are terrible, and that's just what you're. That's just etched in this stone. That's just carved in stone into your brain.
- [63:27]
Bob
I wish I could get stoned.
- [63:29]
Lyle
It's just what? It's just what? It just becomes your fucking reality. It's just what you see. So if you walk around being like, everyone is fucking terrible, then of course everyone ends up being terrible. And. And there's a lot of, like, genuine, like, real life bad stuff, but there's also a good portion of it where it's like, if you. As long as. If you're walking around trying to assume some form of positive intent of other positive intent of other people, you find it more than if you walk around assuming that everyone's terrible. That's it. That's the end of my motivational rant. No more motivational rants.
- [64:10]
Bob
I get you. You're just saying be positive about it. That's cool.
- [64:13]
Lyle
Not be. Not like. Not like, hey, everything's amazing. Rainbows are awesome. Life is good. Isn't it good? Not like that but just like, at least you don't have to do that. You don't have to walk around like a Teletubby. But just the opposite. But just don't do the opposite. Don't. Don't walk around like Eeyore, you know, because then, then you just, you just prematurely yourself.
- [64:36]
Bob
Okay. All right.
- [64:39]
Lyle
All right, cool. Well, Bob, I'm gonna let you go.
- [64:45]
Bob
I mean, cool talk.
- [64:46]
Lyle
I mean, it was a cool time. It was nice talking to you, man. I hope you're. I hope you're okay. I don't know you. I hope you're okay. I hope you're not going completely. I hope you're going. I don't. I hope you are not going more insane. I hope you're not going significantly more insane than the average person on the planet is going insane at this current time.
- [65:10]
Bob
I think it's okay to cry. As I wanted to say something to the viewers.
- [65:15]
Lyle
Go ahead.
- [65:16]
Bob
I mean, just. But calm down. Don't cry too much. But if you can't help it, fuck it. Just let it up.
- [65:25]
Lyle
Yeah. Yeah. Well, have a good night, Bob. Thanks for calling. Or wait, no.
- [65:34]
Bob
Cheers. Yeah. Coop.
- [65:35]
Nancy
Yeah.
- [65:36]
Bob
I'm gonna have this Michelada. All right, cool.
- [65:38]
Lyle
All right, take care, Coop.
- [65:39]
Bob
All right, later.
- [65:44]
Lyle
It's good to cry. It's good to cry. Sometimes you cry. When's the last time I cried? I cried recently. Yeah. No, I cry a lot. I actually cry fairly often. No, cry. Oh my God. Cry. Yeah, cry, laugh, cry, drink a Diet Coke, live for 80 years and then pass away peacefully in your sleep, ideally surrounded by at least one other human being if you can hack that. But even if not, this is fine. There's no this. Well, I don't know. It's not a win loot. Life isn't really a win lose proposition, I don't think. Unless if you want it to be. I kind of want. I kind of want it to be. I kind of want to do stuff, but I guess, you know, I have to do stuff. I don't know. I feel like I'm okay now. I feel like I'm on Mars, but it's good. Maybe it's good to leave Earth now and then.
- [66:46]
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Carl
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- [70:20]
Lyle
Hello.
- [70:21]
Cole
Hello.
- [70:21]
Lyle
What's up, man? How you doing? What's your name?
- [70:25]
Cole
My name's Cole.
- [70:27]
Lyle
Cole. What up, Cole? Yeah, dude, what are you doing?
- [70:31]
Cole
Yeah, I saw you. I saw you in LA kind of recently, I guess it was in like November.
- [70:35]
Lyle
Oh, shit. Yeah, that was. Oh yeah, that was fun. That was a good time. Those are fun shows.
- [70:41]
Nancy
Yeah.
- [70:41]
Cole
I drove from. I drove from Phoenix, Arizona.
- [70:46]
Lyle
Where you. Which one were you at? Do you remember anything that happened at the show?
- [70:52]
Cole
I think I was at night two.
- [70:55]
Lyle
Was that the one where the lady talked about having sex with Mark Zuckerberg in her dream?
- [71:01]
Cole
Yes, it was.
- [71:02]
Lyle
Okay. Yeah, that was interesting.
- [71:07]
Cole
Yeah, that happened.
- [71:10]
Lyle
So what's going on with you.
- [71:15]
Cole
Man? Dude, I mean, I've been watching your stream for years now.
- [71:21]
Bob
Cool.
- [71:22]
Cole
And I finally had the urge to call in because, I don't know, life's just like a crazy, crazy journey. And recently, recently I feel like I've made a lot of big changes.
- [71:41]
Lyle
That.
- [71:41]
Cole
Have just been really crazy. The catalyst of it all, the interesting thing is that I was engaged to be married and now I'm. So that was kind of really tough, but it ended up being like a catalyst for me to really get into, like, mindfulness. And.
- [72:09]
Lyle
How long were you with this person for? Like, how long? How were you, like, in total, like, dating, engaged?
- [72:17]
Cole
Probably two years.
- [72:19]
Lyle
Oh, sure. Okay. All right.
- [72:21]
Cole
Two years in total. Yeah.
- [72:23]
Lyle
And do you want to talk about what happens?
- [72:29]
Cole
Yeah, it was. I mean, it was an unfortunate situation. You know, it's one of those situations where you love the person still.
- [72:38]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [72:39]
Cole
But you come to realize that you kind of just don't work together, unfortunately.
- [72:44]
Bob
Yeah.
- [72:47]
Cole
And the crazy thing is we separated after like a year and we ended up getting back together. And it's like we didn't learn our lesson, you know? Like, we tried to just jump back in, even though there were so many issues. And we tried to, like, honeymoon phase it out again and like, forget about the issues that happened, you know?
- [73:10]
Lyle
Can I ask if you want, if you are cool to talk about them? Like, what was the main one? Or a couple of ones.
- [73:17]
Cole
Yeah. So, yeah, what happened is I flirted with a girl.
- [73:24]
Lyle
Oh, no.
- [73:26]
Cole
I flirted with a girl. Right. And I was, like, feeling kind of weird about it. I was like, oh, you know, I definitely, like, flirted with this person while I was in this relationship. And I started journaling, so I journaled about it, you know, Like, I kind of feel shitty that I did this, you know, like, it feels like cheating even though it wasn't physically doing something with someone. And what happened was my ex read my journal, and then I came home and she had moved out.
- [74:03]
Lyle
This was. This was like, the first time you guys got separated?
- [74:10]
Cole
Yeah. Yeah. And then what.
- [74:12]
Lyle
And then what was it. What was it that got you back together?
- [74:20]
Cole
We did this thing you're not supposed to do where even though you're broken up, we. We kept having sex with each other. And that was not a very good thing to do, but we both participated in it. And not very proud of it, but we kind of. It was just what was easy. Like, we were both two lonely people who, like. Like, I knew the right path for me was to, like, focus on myself and grow, but it was just, like, so easy to go back to what was familiar.
- [74:55]
Lyle
Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, I think. Well, I. It's like a human default nature. That's. I mean, that's why people stay in, like, fucking. Like, that's why people stay in, like, abusive relationships and shit like that is. Is. I mean, I'm talking about. I'm. I'm talking about shit that I have. I'm. I, by the way, just. I'm just really want to iterate in this very moment that I am talking publicly on a podcast to thousands of people about shit that I fucking don't know anything about. But why have a podcast if you're not gonna do that? That's. I think that's the whole point of having a podcast, so. But, yeah, I think that's why people stay in relationships like, that is because it's just like, complacency is just a hell of a drug, and complacency is a hell of a drug. And it's always like, you know, I think. I think it's like human nature to just kind of do whatever the easiest, safest thing is, you know? I think so. Most people do.
- [75:51]
Cole
Yes. Yes.
- [75:57]
Lyle
So whether or not that's good, I don't know. I'm not. I'm not a. I don't know anything.
- [76:04]
Cole
But, yeah, at the time, it felt good. At the time, it felt good. But Like I said, we kind of jumped back into the relationship, and that kind of lack of trust remains kind of deep within our foundation.
- [76:20]
Lyle
Sure.
- [76:23]
Cole
So, you know, the thing that happened recently was I was talking with a co worker, an ex co worker of mine, that she wasn't comfortable with me talking to because this was a woman. And, you know, in my dumb man brain, I was like, I'm not interested in this person, so therefore it's okay. But it obviously brought up, like, hints of the past for her and her trust issues with me talking to another girl. So, yeah, it's. It's so interesting that that kind of thing broke up in engagement. But, you know, her finding out I had reached out to this ex co worker to see how they were doing. That's what ended up breaking it all down.
- [77:12]
Lyle
And so what. So, I mean, do you still talk to this lady that you were engaged with?
- [77:21]
Cole
No, she. No, I haven't been able to reach out with her. I called her a month ago. That was the last time I spoke with her. I kind of really want some closure. And, you know, my thing was I wanted to get to a point where I didn't want to call her out of necessity because, like. Like, after we broke up, I struggle with anxiety, and my panic attacks came back, and I started having these panic attacks, and I wanted so badly to, like, call her to make it go away, and I didn't want to, like, use her, if that makes sense.
- [77:58]
Lyle
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you. Yeah, because if you do that, you open up a whole can of. You know, there's no such thing as free. You can't just, like. You know, it's like a. You know, you can't just use it as, like, a band aid. Opens up a whole can of worms.
- [78:19]
Nancy
Yeah.
- [78:20]
Lyle
Right? Yeah.
- [78:21]
Cole
So that was really hard, but go ahead.
- [78:25]
Lyle
No, I don't have any. Go ahead.
- [78:29]
Cole
I was gonna say it was really hard, but what got me through, like, that hard time without reaching out to her, which was, you know, the crutch I was so used to was, like, just reaching out to my family and friends.
- [78:43]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [78:44]
Cole
Which seems, like, so simple and stupid. But, like, I never really did that before.
- [78:49]
Lyle
That. That's not. I don't think that reaching out to your family and friends is stupid. If you told me. Yeah. You know, what I did is I got. I got. I got 12 Mike's hard lemonades, and I rammed them down until I forgot about my life. I'd be like, yeah, that's a little simple and stupid, but no. Reaching out to your family and friends is. Is quite smart and good. I would say that is a smart and good method of doing what you are attempting to do.
- [79:23]
Cole
I guess I meant stupid. Stupid how simple it was.
- [79:26]
Lyle
Sure. Well, yeah, I guess it is a little stupid. Yeah, I guess it is, like, kind of funny that, like. Sure, sure. Like, you call your friend and you're like, oh, I should have just called my friend. You know, like, especially if you have some. Your friends. Do you have a lot of friends?
- [79:43]
Cole
I have some.
- [79:44]
Lyle
Okay. I have, like, enough.
- [79:46]
Cole
A few core friends that I'm, you know, very grateful to have in my life. Like, I reached out to my cousin and this dude I've known my whole life. He's my fucking cousin, you know? And it turns out, like, he's been struggling with panic attacks his whole lives. And it was this thing we never talked about, and just, you know, calling him and being like, hey, like, how are you? Opened up the door to have these, like, deeper conversations with these people I've been close with but have never really, like, been vulnerable with.
- [80:19]
Lyle
Bro do. Yeah, that's the most vulnerable that. I mean, not vulnerable. That's the most valuable thing that you can do if you're lucky enough to have people like that in your life. I mean, those people will just save your ass. Yeah, those people will save your ass if. If you're lucky enough to have them in your life. I mean. Yeah. That's what I typically do when I'm going insane as I call all of my friends and family and whatnot. Yes. When it's the most valuable thing you can have. Yeah. Sorry. I drank a lot. I drank a lot of coffee before I started recording this. And it's been about an hour something. And I think I'm getting to the point, you know, how, like, caught, like, caffeine is just borrow. It's really just borrowing energy. It's. It is it. You can. You never can create energy. You can only. Well, I mean, you can if you, like, eat lettuce and salmon, but, you know, caffeine is borrowed from the future. And I think I'm starting to arrive at the future. And I'm sorry that's happening in the middle of talking to you, but I just. Making that clear in case. If I start stumbling and stuttering and making sense.
- [81:43]
Cole
That's okay. That's okay to be here.
- [81:49]
Lyle
What's your name again, man?
- [81:51]
Cole
I'm Cole.
- [81:53]
Lyle
Cole. How old are you, Cole?
- [81:56]
Cole
I'm 25.
- [81:58]
Lyle
Okay. All right. This is good. I think this is a good life experience. Probably. You're learning how to be more vulnerable with the people who are already in your life. It's deepening your connections with them. Sounds like you're learning a lot. Sounds like you're having. Making good skills again. It's. If you told me that you were coping by, you know, getting fucked up. There's worse ways to do it. Yeah.
- [82:28]
Cole
No, I try to go outside and smell air, look at trees. It's really nice.
- [82:35]
Lyle
Yeah. Life is pretty pretty. It's pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy. I'm gonna say it. And you know what? I don't. I say it's. I really mean it every time I say it. I've never. I've met. You know what fucking Cole. I've never felt. Tell me more in my fucking. And I say this with so much confidence, and I mean it. I've never felt more. With every day older, I get that life is crazy. I say that not. It's not even a catchphrase anyway. I just mean it, and I feel it. And I just. I just. I just think life is crazy. And I'm sorry, but I'm also not, because it is.
- [83:23]
Cole
Do you think that's part of the human experience that everyone experiences? That gradual increase of craziness?
- [83:32]
Lyle
No.
- [83:32]
Cole
Or do you think you're a certain path that has allowed you to have this clarity?
- [83:37]
Lyle
I think. I think I'm. I think I. I me. I think I've been very lucky in my life to experience that, to feel like life is crazy. But I also think that you don't need a lot to feel like life is. I mean, I like sitting. If you like having, you know, sitting at a. Standing, like, you could go into a convenience store and buy a bottle of water and stand outside and drink it and. And look around and be like, whoa, life is crazy, you know? You know, it's not a lot.
- [84:15]
Cole
I know what you're talking. I have an experience every time I go to a gas station and I'm, like, waiting for my gas to finish, and I look around and I'm like, this is a gas station.
- [84:28]
Lyle
Fuck. What is this fucking podcast anymore? What? I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Are you all right? You know what, Cole? I'm glad. You know what, Cole? I'm not worried about you. I think you're gonna be all right. I'm not worried about you.
- [84:46]
Cole
I really appreciate that. Can I tell you one more thing?
- [84:50]
Lyle
Yeah, go ahead.
- [84:52]
Cole
When I started listening to the podcast, I was still looking for love. And I had this habit of where, if I was lucky enough to meet up with someone off Tinder or whatever the fuck, I would like, leave early because I like my own bed. And I'd hop in my car and I would turn on Therapy Gecko and I would go buy a large milkshake and a large fry from Weather Burger, and I would drink my milkshake and eat my fry and I'd listen to Therapy Gecko on my drive home.
- [85:32]
Lyle
I'm happy.
- [85:32]
Cole
I don't know why I'm sharing that with you.
- [85:34]
Lyle
No, no, no. I'm. I'm. I'm happy to. I'm happy to be part of your post. Sex. Driving home to get food. Food.
- [85:45]
Cole
Yeah. I don't want to say it that.
- [85:46]
Lyle
Way, but I'm on. You know what? That's. I. I'm really happy. I'm really honored to fit right into that little part of your life. That's a nice little place for me to be.
- [86:00]
Cole
I just want you to know there's no particular reason. It just. It happened and it. And it stuck.
- [86:07]
Lyle
Every time I come, I gotta listen to Therapy Gecko and drink a large milkshake. I don't know why, but it's my post come routine.
- [86:17]
Cole
Yeah.
- [86:21]
Lyle
All right, well, you have a good rest of the night, Cole.
- [86:24]
Cole
You too, Lyle.
- [86:25]
Lyle
Take care.
- [86:26]
Cole
Bye.
- [86:29]
Lyle
Whataburger is good as hell. They have. I don't. I don't know if this is Fat Burger or Whataburger. I think it's whataburger that has the Dr. Pepper milkshake. I'm a big fan of that Dr. Pepper milkshake. Stop hitting snooze on new tech. Upgrade the whole team@lenovo.com Unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X1 carbon, powered by Intel Core Ultra processors so you can work, create and boost productivity all on one device. Win the tech search for business PCs@lenovo.com Lenovo, Lenovo.
- [87:29]
Nancy
Hey, Jenice Torres here and I'm Austin Hankowitz. We're the hosts of Mind the Business.
- [87:34]
Lyle
Small Business Success Stories produced by Ruby Studio and Intuit QuickBooks.
- [87:39]
Jenny Garth
Catch up on seasons one and two.
- [87:40]
Nancy
And join us for a brand new.
- [87:42]
Carl
Season of the podcast as we talk.
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Lyle
To small business owners about how they.
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Carl
Manage and grow their businesses with the.
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Lyle
Help of platforms like Intuit QuickBooks.
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Carl
Listen to mind the Business Small Business.
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Nancy
Success Stories on the iHeartRadio app, Apple.
- [87:55]
Bob
Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Jenny Garth
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