“MY MOM OWES ME $40k”

Summary

Therapy Gecko – “MY MOM OWES ME $40k”

Podcast by iHeartPodcasts | Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)
Date: March 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features two lengthy, in-depth listener calls spanning financial family woes, international identity, life in Dubai, and existential adulthood malaise. The main theme is navigating difficult interpersonal challenges—one caller seeks advice about reclaiming a sizable inheritance from their mother, while another weighs connection, ambition, and purpose as a foreign-born resident in Dubai. Lyle brings his archetypical mix of humor, blunt compassion, and curiosity, making for a lively, candid conversation about real-life predicaments.

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Call 1: “My Mom Owes Me $40k”

Caller: Finn (Australia)
Segment Start: [03:56]

Background:

Finn, a 19-year-old university student from Australia, explains his mother owes him $40,000—money left to him and his brother by their late aunt. Their mother used the inheritance for a house, with an understanding she’d return it once Finn turned 18. However, after moving for work and finding a new boyfriend, she’s become increasingly distant and evasive, refusing substantive discussion about repayment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

• History of the Money & Family Dynamics

  • Aunt left ~$100k split between Finn and his younger brother ([08:26]).
  • Some of Finn's share was legally used for schooling expenses, but $40k went into buying a house in Finn’s name via paperwork signed at age 16.

• Mother’s Relocation & New Relationship

  • After Finn turned 18, his mother moved 11 hours away with his brother for a new teaching job ([09:52]).
  • Relationship changed: Calls become short, returned infrequently; his mother cites busy-ness and frequent holidays with her well-off boyfriend ([10:20]).
  • Emotional impact: Finn feels “anger” and “strain” in their relationship, supported mainly by his partner ([12:56]).

• Attempt to Resolve & Mother's Evasion

  • Finn brings up the money; his mother requests more time, then continues to dodge by giving promises—“I just need another week” ([12:56]–[13:24]).
  • Finn feels conflict between fighting for what’s his and not wanting to destroy the relationship: “Do I keep calling her and keep getting angry… or take a step back … or send her a very strongly worded email?” ([13:24]).

• Legal/Moral Ambiguity

  • Finn unsure about legal status—believes some paperwork stipulated funds to be returned after he turns 18 ([14:37]).
  • Lyle, shocked, says: “This is your fucking money. Tell her she’s gotta give you that money or else you have to come after her for it... your mom’s being kind of a dick.” ([15:30])

• Parallel with Netflix Drama

  • Irony: Finn pays for family Netflix; mom frequently asks him to reset the password due to location locks—while avoiding bigger conversations ([21:02]).

• Lyle’s Unfiltered Advice

  • Lyle: “Kick your mom off the Netflix account immediately… If someone owes me forty thousand dollars, I’m not letting them use my Netflix” ([22:19]).
  • Finn warms to the idea: “Next time she… sends… can you reset the Netflix password? I'll be like, can you send the 40k?” ([22:59])
  • Lyle: “Honestly, dude… you’re letting your mom… for lack of a better phrase… dick you down a little too hard.” ([23:11])

• Finn’s Epiphany & Next Steps

  • Finn commits to acting: “You’ve actually given me the inspiration to take action. I really appreciate you” ([24:19]).
  • Lyle requests an update after Finn confronts his mother: “I want an update from you, Finn… you can't let your mom mog you like this.” ([25:05])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On family disappointments:
  “Yeah, this guy’s mom sucks. Unfortunately. That's a bummer. I always feel bad when callers tell me about their parents, and their parents kind of suck.”
  — Lyle ([26:07])

• Finn’s closing mental health message:
  “If you’re ever struggling with mental health… there’s always someone who cares about you. And it’s always better to reach out and speak to someone.”
  — Finn ([25:38])

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Key Segment Timestamps

• [04:02] Finn introduces himself—long-time listener from Australia
• [08:12] Finn brings up the $40,000 inheritance issue
• [13:24] Finn articulates his emotional struggle & possible approaches
• [14:37] Questions about legality of the money, intent vs. neglect
• [21:02] Netflix account irony revealed
• [22:19] Lyle: “Kick your mom off Netflix!”
• [24:19] Finn gets newfound resolve
• [25:38] Finn delivers closing message on mental health

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Call 2: “Life in Dubai as a Third-Culture Kid”

Caller: Omar (UK-born, Moroccan, raised in Dubai)
Segment Start: [29:27]

Background:

Omar, 26, grew up in Dubai after being born in the UK to Moroccan parents. He shares his experiences as a “third-culture” kid: not Emirati, but not quite at home in the UK or Morocco either. He works as a software engineer in an overwhelmingly Vietnamese company, describes Dubai’s unique expat ecosystem, and lays bare his struggles with existential dissatisfaction.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Dubai’s Demographics & Culture

  • “Dubai is a place where people aren’t born and raised—they move there.”
    — Omar ([31:41])
  • Lack of citizenship access for non-Emiratis ([32:13])
  • Life amidst recent military attacks but relative calm: “You hear explosions every couple hours, but… nothing really that bad has happened…” ([32:21])

• Work & Social Environment

  • Omar’s company is “pretty hectic”—loose organization, mostly Vietnamese staff; difficulty breaking into office social circles ([34:06]).
  • Notes Dubai’s split between ultra-wealthy families (his friends) and underpaid immigrant workers; describes school system and expat privileges vs. immigrant labor ([40:32],[42:48]).

• Materialism vs. Meaning

  • Dubai’s reputation as a luxury hub; personal distaste for ostentation.
    “I do like a good hotel or spa day… but if it’s something fully materialistic, it isn’t really my sort of thing.”
    — Omar ([60:16])

• Searching for Fulfillment

  • Omar spent seven months traveling Southeast Asia: “Best experience of my life… you wake up at 10 on a Monday and climb a mountain in sandals.” ([46:27]).
  • Now, life feels shallow: “All I can really look forward to is getting drunk with my friends on the weekend… I find a lot of this stuff really boring.”
  • Feels stuck between ambition and routine: “I really struggle to be okay with it.” ([48:44])

• On the “American Dream” Today

  • Both Lyle and Omar observe: young people dream of leaving their own country—for Americans, that means going abroad and stretching the dollar; for the developing world, the dream is still the West ([63:38],[64:22]).

• The Value of Friendship

  • Despite malaise, Omar is grounded by his deep social circle—six close friends, many acquaintances ([66:32]).
  • Lyle: “If you live somewhere where you have six close friends…and are chill with a bunch of other people, you’re doing fucking great.” ([66:58])

• YouTube & Embracing Cringe

  • Omar admits to a YouTube channel (“Omar is Yapping”), feels self-conscious about sharing it ([69:12]).
  • Lyle finds it, subscribes, and encourages him: “Why not take this opportunity to return to your roots and embrace the cringe?” ([71:06])
  • Omar: “If I can’t do it consistently, maybe it’s not for me… At the end of the day, who cares what people think? But it does hurt, a little bit.” ([71:06])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On rich-kid extravagance:
  “Those goodie bags had iPads in them—the new one!”
  — Omar on a childhood classmate’s birthday ([58:52])

• On chasing a meaningful life:
  “I want to feel like I’m not just surviving.”
  — Omar ([40:21])

• On social capital:
  “I hope you feel rich in that. Oh God, that sounded so fucking corny… but I really do.”
  — Lyle ([67:05])

• On creative self-doubt:
  “Who the fuck am I to be telling people to embrace the cringe when I’m uncomfortable?”
  — Omar ([71:38])

• Lyle’s self-reflection:
  “I always feel like I have to be doing more, or… I always want to be doing more.”
  — Lyle ([53:59])

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Key Segment Timestamps

• [29:27] Omar introduces himself—backstory and current military tension in Dubai
• [32:21] Discussion of missile attacks, civilian resilience
• [34:06] Describes unusual workplace dynamic
• [40:32] Socioeconomic landscape; expat privilege vs. immigrant labor
• [46:27] Omar describes his Southeast Asian travels
• [53:44] Lyle reflects on fulfillment and creative life
• [60:16] Omar on consumer culture and personal tastes
• [66:32] Valuing close friendships as an adult
• [69:12] Reveal of Omar’s YouTube (“Omar Is Yapping”), discussion of creative insecurity

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Listener Email: “Catfishing People Made Me Transgender”

Segment Start: [75:56]

Summary

Jamie writes to Lyle about discovering her trans identity after posing as a woman on dating sites post-pandemic, initially for the “lore” of funny stories, but ultimately realizing she found comfort in being perceived as female. She confesses discomfort and guilt about how she discovered her truth, wondering whether it was “objectively immoral” or illegal.

Lyle’s Response:

• Offers reassurance, dismisses Jamie’s guilt as misplaced.
• Says the truly “crazy” aspect is Jamie’s belief she must do zany things to forge connections, not the fact she learned about her gender via online “catfishing.”
• Encourages Jamie: Don’t try to be interesting, be interested—meaningful relationships are built on asking and caring, not outlandish stories ([75:56]–[86:45]).

Quotes

• “You don’t have to be interesting, you have to be interested. Jamie… I don’t think [coming out this way] is inherently crazy.”
  — Lyle ([c. 86:00])

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Episode Takeaways

• Family and money can deeply strain relationships—especially when communication breaks down and boundaries are porous, as with Finn and his mother.
• Standing up for oneself, however uncomfortable, is often necessary—even if it means hitting ‘reset’ on more than just a Netflix account.
• Expat life and third-culture identity, as lived by Omar, highlight the tension between luxury and meaning, friendship and alienation, and the universal search for purpose.
• No matter how materially privileged, people everywhere struggle with feelings of stagnation, self-doubt, and yearning for more than just getting by.
• Seeking connection by being interested in others is more powerful for real relationships than seeking to be “interesting” through stories or stunts.

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Memorable Moments

• Lyle’s unique blend of advice—“Kick your mom off of the Netflix account immediately” ([22:19]), and his loving ribbing: “You’re a sweet, nice boy, but you’re letting your mom dick you down a little too hard” ([23:11]).
• Omar’s Dubai stories: goody bags with iPads, diamond-encrusted iPhones, and existential malaise against a backdrop of extreme luxury ([58:52],[60:07]).
• Jamie’s email on coming out via catfishing, and Lyle’s compassionate response ([75:56]).

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Final Thoughts

True to Therapy Gecko’s vibe, Lyle urges radical honesty, protects the vulnerable, and disarms heaviness with irreverence. Whether listeners are facing $40,000 family debt or the discomfort of creative “cringe,” the ep’s core message is clear: Defend your boundaries, value your real connections, and give yourself permission to care and to be cared for—even, or especially, when life feels off-kilter.

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For Tour Dates & More: therapygeckotour.com
To Call the Gecko: twitch.tv/lyleforever

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Notable Community Message (from Finn, [25:38]):
“If you're ever struggling with mental health… there's always someone who cares about you. And it's always better to reach out and speak to someone.”

Transcript

[Lyle]

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Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures hello everybody, it's Lyle.

[Lyle]

Welcome to the Therapy Gecko Podcast. Just really quick before we get into the episode. Want to remind everybody that tickets are currently on sale right now [e-mail] for my upcoming tour across America and a few cities in Canada. And we actually just added a show in a couple weeks in Tokyo, Japan. So if you happen to be in Tokyo, Japan on March 22 and you want to come to a live show, you can go to therapygeckotour.com and get tickets to that show. Or if you happen to be in any major city in the US And a few other cities, no offense to those cities, but if you. If you're in the U.S. you're in Canada, you're in Tokyo. Please go to therapy gecko tour.com I'm doing a bunch of shows. I'm going to be telling stories. I'm going to be doing live gecko therapy for the fourth time around. And I'm. I'm very excited about this tour. I'm excited for the material that I've got. I'm excited to engage with the community, and I think you guys should come to the shows. It'll be a good time. Please go to therapy gecko tour.com right now to get tickets, especially if you're in Tokyo. We just added that show. It's in a couple weeks, and I would love to see some of the Tokyo Gecko listeners out there. Anyway, thanks for listening. Let's get into the episode. Hello.

[Omar]

Hello.

[Lyle]

What's up?

[Finn]

Oh, my God. Holy shit. How you going?

[Lyle]

How am I going? I'm going good, man. You're from Australia, from the accent and the. How you doing?

[Finn]

Yeah, I just wanted to say, a couple of months ago, my girlfriend messaged you on Instagram and asked. Asked you for a birthday wish, and you sent a really nice message.

[Lyle]

Oh, what did I say?

[Finn]

I'm a bit out of breath. I'm freaking out. I don't know. You. You said your classic thing where you're like, I hope you guys end up in the Kingdom of Heaven together. I know you don't believe in that Christianity, but I don't know, man.

[Lyle]

The kingdom, I. I believe vaguely in a version of the Kingdom of Heaven. Wait, this was a couple months ago?

[Finn]

Yeah, in October last year.

[Lyle]

Oh, cool, cool, cool.

[Finn]

You said you were, like, on the subway or something. I mean, I never thought she'd get a response, and she surprised me with it, which was crazy. I've got it saved. But no, it was really cool, dude.

[Lyle]

I'm really not. I'm not that clouded up anymore. I'm just like, on the subway. Just like Maybe I'm stoned and I'm like, sometimes I'm stone. I, like, I look at Instagram or sometimes I'm stoned and I'll see, like a message and it's like, can you wish me a happy birthday? And I'm just like, why the fuck wouldn't I do. Like, why just do it. Why not? Why am I so. Why am I being so precious about this? Let's just do it. And so I do it.

[Finn]

I mean, yeah, you're a real fucking human being, you know, you're not a. Not a. I appreciate you. I appreciate it, though.

[Lyle]

What's your. What's your name? You told me already again.

[Finn]

Finn. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Finn.

[Finn]

Yeah. Yeah. What's up, dude? I've been listening for, like, years. When I. When you came to Australia, I think it was like 20, 23. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Dude, I had been listening for like a year and a bit, and I was so mad. I was like, you came about, like, just before I turned 18, so I couldn't go. So I'm subscribed to all of the. All of the notifications. If you ever come back, I'll be first one in line, hopefully.

[Lyle]

Cool. I could see myself doing another Australia run at some point. We'll see. It was a little. It's. Dude, that's. That's the toughest. Have you been to the States?

[Finn]

No. I may be going on New Year's. I got some family over there and I think Texas.

[Lyle]

That's the shittiest. I was up until 6 o' clock in the morning for like a week after I got back from that. That's definitely the worst jet lag place to go to. But I liked. I liked Australia. Australia is like, if you combined. Dude, you know what's crazy is Australia, it's like. It's like Americans pretty much, but it's like all the fucking way over there. I have no idea how Australia came to be. I mean, I guess it's. I mean, I guess similar. How to. I guess you guys. You guys have kind of a similar history to America, right? Where it's like, you know, a bunch of white people came over and, like, killed a bunch of people and now there's Australia.

[Finn]

Yeah. No, the crazy thing about Australia is they literally sent over, like, mostly convicts. So we just got a bunch of, like. I think it was England, shitty convicts. And then, you know, we did the classic thing where we, you know, destroy millions of years of culture, obviously, because. So white people, what we do best. But no, we're a Bunch of convicts. But now Australia is like pretty, like pretty multicultural. Like, I went to a high school and yeah, like, honestly, it's, it's like a lot of like Asian because we're like, technically like Australasia. So, like a lot of Asian influence. Pretty much. I mean, I grew up in a Greek neighborhood, but like Greek, Asian, a lot of islanders because, you know, we're right. Yeah. Next to New Zealand and all of that. Yeah.

[Lyle]

What? Yeah, because you guys are really close to like Thailand and Southeast Asia and all that.

[Finn]

Yeah, I mean, we've got the Pacific Islanders, which is like Fiji, Papua New guinea right above us. And yeah. Thailand. And we're like, like, honestly, most, most, most, most Australians go to like a Bali and Indonesia for cheap holidays. So if you got there, you go, you go to Bali. It's in the middle of Indonesia. It's mostly Australians on, on like holiday and. Which is kind of funny.

[Lyle]

So, Finn, you texted me and you said, I would like to talk about how my mom owes me 40 grand but is too focused on her new boyfriend to talk to me about it. What does that mean?

[Finn]

Um, alright, well, shit, I haven't. I've like only told my girlfriend and obviously my family about this. Um, so basically a long time ago, like, I would have been about 5 and I'm 19 now. My auntie passed away and she left me and my brother a sizable, like, well, whatever. And basically my mom, when I was about 16, proposed to me and my brother, like, look, you know, the rent and housing market over here is just fucked. And she was like, look, we probably are going to want to use it for house. And you know, me being 16, I was like, you know, go for it. Because, you know, I'd rather my mom take that money than, you know, not have a house because I'm a normal human being. Anyway, also, let me know if you want me to slow down. I'm speaking really.

[Lyle]

No, no, no, please. You're doing, you're doing, you're doing perfectly fine.

[Finn]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Fast forward.

[Finn]

When I graduated high school, she. Well, I graduated high school, I turned 18. I don't know if it's different in Australia. Like, I know in America. Sorry, I'm going off track. In America, you're like 21 to drink. I don't know if you're 18. You're an adult in America, but in Australia when you're 18, you're like an adult. Like, you can drink, you can do all that stuff.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Finn]

Anyway, unimportant. My mom's a teacher and when I turned 18, she got a contract to go teach out in rural Australia. Like, it's an 11 hour drive from me and it's still in like the same state, which is weird. And yeah, basically her and my little brother, my little brother's 16. Shout out to him if he's listening. Love you. Anyway, and it was like, look, she was a single mother, a teacher, not, you know, that's hard. And I was like, look, if you need to go do that, that's fine. I will take over the mortgage of the current place with a couple of friends. The, the, the, the place that she had used that 40 grand to buy. Anyway, I'll cut it short. I know I'm not trying to take up all your time, but yeah, she went out there, things going great for her, she's dating this guy, met through the apps, as everyone does, and you know, she's a, she's a single parent with my brother who's a bit troubled a lot of different ways. But basically when she moved away, which was about, which was the end of 2024, for the first six months, I would call her like, you know, most weeks and we'd have like a 30 minute chat when I'm driving home from work. And then she started dating the guy and I try to call her, but every time I've called her it like goes through to voicemail and then I get angry and then she tries to call me back and I'm like, oh, I'm a bit angry, I won't pick up. And then when she does pick up or I call her back, she's like, she'll talk for like five minutes max. And then she's like, oh, I've got to go on this trip. Wait. Oh no. She's like, oh, I'm busy. Or I try to call and she's like, sorry, away on holiday. Because this guy's pretty, pretty well off and they go on a lot of like weekend trips and I think it's been a couple of months and I haven't talk to her about it, but I did manage to get through to her one time and I was like, look, you know, about that 40 grand, you know, I want to have a conversation about it because it's obviously not no money. Like I'm a, I'm a university student paying rent, you know, all of that stuff, it's, you know, not, not easy to do that. And I was like, look, if I could have some assistance, that'd be great. I don't want, I don't expect 40 grand. In my bank account the next day because I'm not an idiot, but, you know, if we could work something out. And that was about three months ago, and I've gone through to her twice, and both times she's like, look, I just need another week. And kind of the reason I wanted to talk to you was just because, you know, it's a therapy gecko. I want to talk to the therapy gecko. But also, like, it's becoming to a point with me where my relationship with her is causing me a lot of anger. And, you know, I'm lucky to have an amazing partner who I can talk to this about, talk about this with, but it's like, do I keep calling her and keep getting angry and, you know, feeling down about my relationship with my mother just so with the hope I can, you know, have a good relationship one day and also get this 40 grand back? Or is it like, it is causing a strain on me where I just need to cut it off or take a step back or like, you know, send her a very, very strongly worded email?

[Lyle]

Okay, I'm trying to, you know, forgive me if you've explained this. I'm trying to wrap my head around it. So your auntie passed away and left you and your sibling, right?

[Finn]

Yeah, me and my little brother.

[Lyle]

You and your brother. 40 grand collectively.

[Finn]

40 grand each. So it was about 100 grand. But, you know, we got 20 grand. You know, you need a laptop for school and your school bags and your school fees and all that stuff. So it was so legal.

[Lyle]

So legally, legally, legally, legally, that 40 grand is yours. Like, what's the, what's the legal standpoint on this? Right? Because if your mom, like, what, what's your mom doing? Is she like, is she int. Is she stealing this money from you, or is she just, like, being too busy to give it to you? Or like, what's, like, what's going on is why is she, why is it, why you said you were like, oh, I don't expect it to just appear in my bank account instantly. And I'm like, wait, why? She has it, doesn't she? And it's yours.

[Finn]

Well, she used.

[Lyle]

Why, why shouldn't, why should it not appear in your bank account instantly?

[Finn]

Well, it's. I, I, I don't, I, I definitely don't think she's the type of person to be malicious about it. Like, I don't, I don't think she'd, like, hold it over my head or she would, like, you know, it's, it's not a Thing of, oh, I'm holding this over your head, or I'm like, intentionally. I think it is just a thing where she is, like, so. Because she moved away and, you know, has got a whole new life now, and it's like, she's so deeply entrenched in her new life, and I've tried reaching out. Obviously, all I can do is call her. I can't drive up there, but it's like, I don't. I don't think she's the type of person. I mean, she's my mom. She's my mom. I'd like to believe that she's not. I mean, maybe she is, but I. It's like. But. But the thing is, I think when I was 16, she, like, I signed some type of papers. But the thing is, I think there was an amendment in that that she has to pay me back when I'm over 18.

[Lyle]

Yeah, probably. Dude, wait, I'm. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is like, your mom. Okay, so. Dude, this is crazy. Tell your mom to. This is your fucking money. Tell her to give her. Tell her that you. She's got to give you that money or else you have to come after her for it because she can't just keep, like, dodging you, dude. Like. Like, I think also. Also, I think you're having this attitude about it that's very passive because you don't want to stir the pot, but, like, your mom's being kind of a dick.

[Finn]

Yeah, I. I agree with you. I mean, it comes from a thing where it's like, my little brother lives with her, and, you know, he. He doesn't live with my dad anymore. And it's like, I'm. I'm also a bit worried. Like, I don't want to poke the bear because I'm afraid that it's gonna mess with my relationship with him. And then also, like, at the end of the day, I'm an adult, and it's my mom, and we have separate lives. But also, like, I kind of want to, like, go at it in, like, a funnel way where I funnel, like, from the least aggressive way at the start, and then if I don't get feedback, if I don't get anything back, then I move up, and I keep moving up until I get that money back. I don't want to just go at it, you know?

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course. No, I get you. You don't want to send, like, lawyers after your mom and shit, but, like, how long have you been asking her for this money? I mean, what you're 19, she should have given it to you like a year ago.

[Finn]

I think it would have been about six to eight weeks ago. I know I said a month before, but now that I actually use my brain and I've calmed down a bit and then yeah, I've, I gave her like three, two weeks and I called her back and she's like, oh, I need another week. And I called her back like I think last week and I was like, look, what's going on.

[Lyle]

What, what is going on? Need another week to do what?

[Finn]

I don't know. She was talking to her lawyers, but I don't know, like, I, I, I mean I'm like a dumbass 19 year old, so I don't know, like, I mean, I guess I could go speak to a lawyer about it. I've heard you give the advice, speak to a lawyer and I guess, but

[Lyle]

like, well also like, dude, what's your. I, I'm having trouble understanding your relationship with your mom. Like, so you're out on your own and like your mom has her new life with her new boyfriend, but your little brother is there.

[Finn]

Yeah, like they're, they're moved like 11, 12 hours away from me. And you know, I'm, I'm back in where I grew up to go to university and you know, with my, my girlfriend and all that stuff. And yes, she's basically moved out there. I think she, she's got a contract originally for two years, but I think she's going to extend it. So basically I turned 18 and she took my little brother and moved away for a better paying job and you know, it's cheaper to live in the country and all that stuff.

[Lyle]

What's your, you said you've been talking to your girlfriend about this. What she say? She probably knows. Does she know your mom?

[Finn]

Yeah, yeah, she's met my mom.

[Omar]

She,

[Finn]

she kind of, I mean, she obviously comforts me first because it's a very emotional thing, you know, a relationship with your parents, obviously. But she kind of puts it in a thing that she knows my mom and she knows I should like trust it. But it reaches a point like it's my girlfriend does reinforce that it is my money and at the end of the day, you know, I've got to do what's right for myself because, you know, obviously I'm an adult. I want to, you know, get a nice place and have, you know, steak for dinner and whatever. But she's kind of reinforcing like the same thing as you where it's like, look, you need to, like, stand on business, per se, and kind of, you know, push forward because you can't be pushed around and just, like, accept it, you know? But I think she mostly comes at a thing from, like, comforting me emotionally because, you know, it is pretty can be rough at times.

[Lyle]

No, I understand the roughness of the situation, but also it's like, I don't know, man. Your mom's pissing me off,

[Omar]

dude.

[Finn]

You gotta fly down to Australia to talk to her. You gotta set up, dude.

[Lyle]

Maybe. Dude, maybe your mom's pissing me off. Like, is. I. I don't know. Like, why is she being so, like, in inaccessible?

[Finn]

She's. She's. She's also like, oh, my God, this isn't even, like, the thing. The. The main thing. Can I, like, just add something to the story real quick if you don't mind?

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Finn]

So she's a teacher with a boyfriend and a kid, and she's also doing an online degree to, like, be a higher level of a teacher. Anyway, I give her my Netflix account password, and every time I call her, she's like, oh, I'm busy with school or your brother or boyfriend or whatever. Right? But I shit you not. At least, what, like, two times a week she will message me and say, hey, can you reset the Netflix? Because, you know, you can't, like, share Netflix when someone's 11 hours away. You have to, like, reset the location of the household. So she'll like, I'll call her and she'll say she was. She's busy and she's doing stuff. But then twice a week, she has the time to, like, sit around on Netflix. And this will be in the middle of a day when she has a whole day off to do her study. And she'd be like, oh, can you reset the Netflix account? It's like, yeah, you can sit down and watch Netflix, but you can't fucking speak to a lawyer or pick up the phone and call me, which is just the fucking cherry on top that makes.

[Lyle]

Bro. Bro. What's your name again?

[Finn]

Finn. Finn. Finn.

[Lyle]

Finn, bro. Finn. Let me ask you a question, Finn.

[Finn]

Yeah, go. Go for it.

[Lyle]

Okay, so your mom has owed you this money for at least eight weeks, correct?

[Finn]

Eight weeks since I brought it up. About.

[Lyle]

Okay, and when was the last time she asked you to reset the Netflix?

[Finn]

If I've got you on speaker. Oh, opening the messages up right now.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Finn]

Okay.

[Omar]

Thursday.

[Finn]

This week.

[Lyle]

She asked you on Thursday to reset the Netflix. What? Finn. Finn. Finn. Finn.

[Finn]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

What did you say? What did You. Did you do it? Did you reset the Netflix?

[Omar]

I. I just.

[Finn]

I think I left on red, but I might have done it and just forgotten about it. But I didn't respond, like, yeah, yeah,

[Lyle]

I. Finn, tell her to pay you the $40,000 if she wants you to reset the net. Who pays for the Netflix?

[Finn]

Me.

[Lyle]

You pay for the Netflix?

[Finn]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Finn, Finn, Finn, Finn. Kick your mom off of the Netflix account immediately. Kick your mom off of that Netflix account immediately. Dude, what the. If someone owes me $40,000, I'm not letting them use my Netflix account. Account.

[Finn]

All right, I think now that you

[Lyle]

say it like, Netflix, brother. That's crazy.

[Finn]

All right, I'll just. Next time she sends. She sends. Can you reset the Netflix password? I'll be like, can you send the 40k? That's. That's.

[Lyle]

My dear God.

[Finn]

You reckon that's valid?

[Lyle]

Yes, of course that's valid.

[Finn]

Okay, Finn.

[Lyle]

Alyssa. Finn. Honestly, dude. Can I be Finn? Honestly, dude. Okay, what you. Everything you just told me about your mom using your Netflix capsule password and stuff. It's. It's. It's telling me exactly what kind of, like, guy you are and what, like, your relationship with your mom is like. And you seem. First of all, you're nice. You're a nice boy, Finn. You're very nice. You're. You're a sweet, nice boy, but you're. You're letting your mom. For lack of a better. Truly, for lack of a better phrase, you're letting your mom dick you down a little too hard. You know, kind of letting your mom dick you down a little too hard. Your mom's kind of. And you can't. You can't let your mom dick you down like this. Dude, you got to stand up, let

[Finn]

my mom financially mug me.

[Lyle]

You. You gotta. You gotta just call her every day and be like, listen, dude, you gotta send me. Like, you just gotta call her every day. And then at certain point, you gotta be like, all right, I gotta. I gotta send the fucking troops in. But she can't be using your Netflix while you're waiting on this. That's crazy.

[Finn]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

That's crazy.

[Finn]

Yeah. You know what you've given me? You've actually given me the inspiration to take action. I really appreciate you, man. Like, a lot.

[Lyle]

Okay, good. What are you gonna do tomorrow? Or. I don't know what time it is in. In Australia.

[Finn]

I'm about to go to sleep. But in between classes and work, I will call her. Or I will. I mean, I'm probably gonna call her. She's probably not gonna pick up. And then probably on Tuesday, she'll send me a request to reset the Netflix password, and then I'll just.

[Lyle]

God, dude, no. When she says you have no. Call her and be like, you gotta call. You know, call her and be like, I'll send you the Netflix password when you send me the 40 grand.

[Finn]

Okay. I'd say that's a pretty fair deal, now that I think about it.

[Lyle]

I wanna. I want an update from you, Finn. I want to update you about this. Send me a text. Or I might not see the text, but give me another call at some point. I wanna. I want an update on this. Send me a text. I'll see the text. Send me a text. I want to know how this goes.

[Finn]

Will do.

[Lyle]

I want to know if you get this 40 grand back. But I'm glad that this inspired you to take action, because you can't let your mom mog you like this.

[Finn]

Yeah. Can't go on like this. All right.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go, Finn?

[Finn]

Yeah. If you're ever struggling with mental health, I'd. Everyone would always rather you reach out than do anything, because no matter who you are, no matter where you are, there's always someone who cares about you. And it's always better to reach out and speak to someone.

[Lyle]

You're a nice. You're a nice man. You're a sweet boy, Finn. Go get your. Go get your 40,000 from your mom. All right, Take care, man.

[Finn]

All right.

[Lyle]

Thanks for sharing.

[Finn]

Bye, man.

[Lyle]

That's insane, dude. Yeah, this guy's mom sucks. Unfortunately. That's a bummer. I always feel bad when callers tell me about their parents, and their parents kind of suck. But yeah, man, at a certain point, you gotta reset the Netflix password. Anyone who's ever tried to quit nicotine knows it takes more than willpower to make it stick. That's why X Program by Truth Initiative is with you from the start. Because when changes are worth making, every minute counts and you don't play around with your time. Quitting nicotine isn't easy, but can be more successful with a plan. That's where X Program comes in. It's a free quitting tool built to help you outsmart nicotine. Built on proven methods, its science backed approach can increase your odds of quitting by up to 40%. When you need support, X Program is always there. You'll get 24. 7 Advice via text message and community support whether you're thinking about quitting for the first time or are a seasoned quitter. X Program tailors a personal quit plan to meet you where you're at. Quit smarter, not harder with X program. Visit exprogram.com to learn more and join for free when you're ready.

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[Omar]

Hello Hello. Wow, you actually call back. This is like my first time calling what's up man?

[Lyle]

You have the deepest voice I have ever heard in my entire life. You think definitely, positively.

[Omar]

That's. Yeah. I've never liked the sound of my voice. I feel like I sound high all the time. That's what people always tell me.

[Lyle]

Really? So why don't, why don't you, why don't you like your own voice?

[Finn]

I don't know.

[Omar]

I think it's because I have a weird accent as well. Like, I mean, I never really grew up in the place. Like, like I'm from, and my accent is kind of like a mix of everything. You're calling me like, I'm actually. No, go ahead and guess just once.

[Lyle]

All right. Guess where you're from. Yeah, because you're calling me from a non US number, so I'm curious where you are right now. Let's see. I'm going to guess you're. I'm not going to guess somewhere specific, but I'm going to guess you're Eastern European.

[Omar]

Nah, I can give you a hint. It's. It's a country that's getting attacked right now.

[Lyle]

Oh, are you from Venezuela?

[Omar]

No, no, no, it.

[Finn]

Dubai.

[Omar]

I grew up here. Oh, I'm not really from here. You can't really say that, though, because it's kind of weird here because, like, basically you have, like, locals, like, Emirates are the people that are like, you know, from. From here. Like, ethnically. I'm just a kid that grew up here, like, you know, since I was like, three.

[Lyle]

Where were you born?

[Omar]

So I was born in the uk, but my parents moved here when I was a kid. But ethnically, I'm not British either.

[Lyle]

So what do you. So you were born in the uk Though, ethnically, that British raised in Dubai. Where are your parents from?

[Omar]

Yeah, my parents are Moroccan.

[Lyle]

Okay. Born to Moroccan parents in the UK and then moved to Dubai. Yeah, you got your mix of. You're mixing up a lot of stuff.

[Omar]

Yeah, that's kind of a normal story here, though. Like, all my friends have this exact same kind of story as I do.

[Lyle]

So Dubai is a place where people are not born and raised. They're, they're move, they move there.

[Omar]

Yeah, yeah. A lot of people. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I have some friends that are born and raised here, but, like, you can be born and raised here, but you're never, like, eligible for the citizenship because they're, like, super protective about their nationality.

[Lyle]

So. Wait, what? Wait, I'm, I, I, I sorry for my ignorance, but is Dubai is being attacked?

[Omar]

Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, since the US and, and the Israel are attacking Iran at the moment. You know, they're, they're shooting at each other. They're, you know, basically there are a lot of US Military bases around the Middle east, and, And I guess they think that there are some targets in the uae. So they're just shooting a bunch of missiles here. But, like, for the most part, it's been pretty okay. I've, you know, you hear explosions, like, every couple hours, but, like, you know, nothing really that bad has happened. I mean, a couple people have died, but to be honest, with the amount of artillery they've been sending our way, I think it's been like, you know, pretty. Pretty good. You know, there's a lot of, like, people on the Internet saying that, you know, it's all propaganda. You know, it's really bad over there. People are. Their pants. They're like, terrified. I don't think that's true, honestly. Like, I think for a lot of people, like, life is pretty okay. I. I say this. One of my friends called me a couple hours ago telling me about how the building next to his got hit. But, like, you know, he's fine. He's fine.

[Lyle]

Okay. What do you do in Dubai?

[Omar]

So I, I work as a software engineer for a really, really weird company. Basically, all of my co workers are Vietnamese. Like, all of them. This being said, like, I've.

[Finn]

I've worked. Sorry.

[Omar]

I've lived here most of my life, and I don't think I've ever met a Vietnamese person here. And ever since I started working for this company, I think I've met all the Vietnamese people here.

[Lyle]

You've met every Vietnamese person in Dubai?

[Omar]

I. I mean, there's a high chance. Like, there are a lot. There are a lot. Like, I, I was really, like, surprised. I'm like, you know, I've been to Vietnam. I love the place. But I'm not gonna lie. The work environment in this company has been, like, pretty, you know, it's been pretty hectic.

[Lyle]

How would you describe the. Why is the work environment nuts?

[Omar]

I mean, they don't really keep track of anything. There are no, you know, we don't really get, like, official deadlines. They don't really write anything down. Everything is just like, really all over the place. And like, I'm me and like, I guess they're like 10 other people among, like, you know, this, like several hundred people company or whatever. I mean, in our team specifically, I think there are like 60 people and 10 of us are not Vietnamese. And this, you know, it's. I guess you feel kind of isolated in that environment where everyone around you is speaking Vietnamese all the time. And like, you know, a lot of these guys don't really speak very good English. So, you know, you're just kind of like, you know, you try to communicate with them, but it's kind of hard.

[Lyle]

How old are you?

[Omar]

I'm 26.

[Lyle]

Nice. Are you going to stay in Dubai? Is Dubai like your vibe, or do you want to leave and go somewhere else?

[Omar]

Yeah, that's a good question, man. To be honest, I. I ask myself that every day. I did, like, live in London a little while, and I guess I didn't like it. You know, it was. It was sort of nice, but it's hard moving to a new city and like, you know, you know, readjusting, making new friends and stuff. I have, I like, I have friends there still. But it's a completely different vibe living in London. Living here is a whole different thing because it's like, I mean, you know, Dubai is what you see on Instagram and stuff. There's a lot of, like, you know, it's really luxurious.

[Finn]

It's.

[Omar]

There are a lot of, I guess, cool buildings and stuff you can see. But, you know, it does feel kind of shallow a lot of the time as well. Like, it does attract a certain kind of person, and I don't think I'm that kind of person.

[Lyle]

So. Okay, I was going to bring this up to you. So Reddit always. There's always an Ask Reddit thread like this pops up like once a month and it all. And it says, like, where's the worst place you've ever been in the world?

[Omar]

Yeah, number one, baby.

[Lyle]

Yeah. And three places typically always show up. And I've never. I've. Okay, so it's Dubai, Cairo, Egypt and Paris. I've been. I went to Paris a while ago, but I've never been to Cairo. Never been to Dubai. Is it as bad as people say?

[Omar]

No, no, not at all. Honestly, I think most people that have never lived here, they could probably come and live here for a couple years and be fine. Like, I think especially for somebody that's like a homebody, this is a good place to be a homebody because, you know, the food is great. You can get like a lot. I guess you can get like a lot of luxury for quite cheap. You can like, live in a, you know, a nice apartment for the same price you pay for a shitty one in, like, America. And, you know, it's safe. Like, even. Even with all this happening, it's still a pretty safe place. Like you can walk down the streets without worrying about getting like, you know, robbed or anything. And you know, it's. It's not that bad, but you do have to kind of like, I guess look past a lot of things because, you know, you don't really get like, I guess, proper like freedom of speech here, you know. And I mean, I guess I'm used to just not saying anything that might get me in trouble. But I. I've heard a lot of stories about some people, you know, just like telling someone the off in traffic and next thing you know, they're getting deported.

[Lyle]

Whoa, really?

[Finn]

Yeah.

[Omar]

That stuff can happen here because I mean, like in like Arab Islamic culture, I guess we take like that sort of disrespect, like, really seriously. I mean, I'm not like that, but, you know, a lot of people can be like that here.

[Lyle]

And what. So what's your friend group like? Is it full of other like, people who came to Dubai when they were really young and they all kind of stayed? Are they all around still?

[Omar]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. But I guess the only thing is, I guess this is such a dumb thing to say. Like, I hate, I hate having a chip on my shoulder about this. I mean, all my friends, like, you know, they're, they, they have super, like super rich parents. And don't get me wrong, like, I'm privileged. Like, I got to grow up here. I mean, you know, it was back when no one wanted to live here, but I got to grow up here. My parents got like, were paid pretty decently. I didn't really like, I guess need much when I was a kid. Like, I got, I got a lot of video games and you know, to me that was enough. But like, the, A lot of the friends that I grew up with here, like, they live in a different world, you know, like, they don't. They don't think about stuff like saving. They don't think about, like, they don't really need to think about their future in the same way that I do because I guess they always have that safety net under them. But for me, my parents are sort of broke at this point and I'm always sort of like just checking myself, trying to make sure that I'm like, you know, not. Not wasting my money, not wasting my time. Like, I just had a job interview like half an hour ago because, you know, I'm just like, I really need to get out this company. But also I. I want to get paid more. Like, I really want to be in a. I guess I want to feel Like, I'm not just surviving.

[Lyle]

So is that like. I'm aware that that's like kind of one of the cultural. Cultural things about Dubai is that people there are very rich. You feel like.

[Omar]

Yeah, I mean. No, no, it's not, that's not completely true like that. So I mean, you have people like me, like, or like me and my friends, you know, we come from like, fairly like, I, you know, well off in comparison families middle class to like just like stinking rich. And you know, we, we. So we went to private schools because here you have. Most people go to private schools. Like, the public schools are mostly like taught in Arabic and they're like Arabic curriculum. And like a lot of people's jobs will. So if you're a parent that moves here, your job will take care of like the schooling for, for a private school for your kids. That isn't universal, but it happens a lot. So yeah, we went to a private school then. You know, they're not like exactly the same as the private schools you'll see like in America or like the uk, but they're still like, pretty good quality. And you know, we, we got like university educations and stuff like that. So we managed to get like, decent paying jobs. Like, I make like, like 5,000 bucks a month doing what I do, which is good for Dubai. And then when you like, look at like. So we have a lot of like delivery drivers and stuff like that and like security guards. And there's no real like minimum wage here. So these guys make like, I don't know, like 6, 700 bucks a month. Maybe a little bit more, I don't know. And I mean, the cost of living is expensive here, so they have to like, you know, you know, like share rooms and stuff like that and like, really like slum it out. But you know, for them, I guess it's like, it works for them because the money here goes so much further in their home country. I mean. Sorry, I'm yapping a lot.

[Lyle]

Oh, no, no, no, please, please, please keep going. I was, I just wanted to ask like, okay, the people who are making like 700 bucks a month, like, where, where are they coming from? Like, what's their home country typically?

[Omar]

You know, like East Asian countries, Southeast Asian countries, South Asian countries. So like, you know, India, Nepal, Bangladesh, the Philippines, you know, a lot of people from those countries because at the end of the day, you know, living here, they still got a better quality of life, but they still like, you know, like, a lot of people will argue that, you know, they they get so, like, like really underpaid. But at the same time they do make, I guess, like for, I guess if they, if they keep coming here, then it's enough. But you know, they, they have to put up with a lot of like, b.

[Lyle]

What's your, what's your goal, man? What's your, what's your whole thing? What are you trying to do? You're looking for a new job. What if you could wave a magic wand and be doing anything?

[Omar]

What does your life look like not working, man? Like, yeah, how the. I can't do this anymore, man. Like, with this job, I could, I, I, I've just been like, literally just going in every day, checking, like, just checking the time. Like, this is one episode of the Sopranos. Where have you ever watched the Sopranos?

[Lyle]

I have. I. Dude, I'm so tick tock brained. I just, I couldn't get past the opening credits where they're going across.

[Omar]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no worries, no worries.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Basically there's like this, this guy that runs away from the mob because they're gonna kill him for being gay or like embarrassing him because they're. He's gay. And he goes and like, he's, he's just working in some random like, small town in New England, like as a carpenter or some. And they have this one scene where he's just working, like, starts his day, starts at 9 and he just keeps checking the clock. Keeps checking the clock, keeps checking the clock. And then, you know, the clock is just not moving and he's just waiting for his lunch time. You keep hearing him talk to himself like, oh, yeah, a couple minutes to lunch, lunch time. A couple minutes to lunch time. And then, you know, all this suspense, all this build up and by the time the clock hits 12, he just walks off back to New Jersey and gets himself killed by the mob. Because you just can't live a normal life. And that's kind of how I, I feel like I just can't. I, I find it really hard to tolerate this. But I have no choice, you know, like, this is how the world works. Like in an ideal world. Because I mean, I did like a couple years back, I quit my job, my other job, and like, I went traveling through Southeast Asia for seven months and, you know, you know, best experience of my life was a great time. Got to see tons of cool, but you know, you can't do that stuff forever. I did eventually like run out of money. And I guess I'm not really like, I mean, with what I do I should be able to get a remote job, but I don't like what I do either. So I've just been sort of like stuck trying to figure out what I can do that can make me money. That also gives me like, you know, flexibility to live like that. But it's not so simple.

[Lyle]

Why was your time in Southeast Asia so good? What were you doing? Was it just like the freedom, Was it like the people you were meeting?

[Omar]

Yeah, a little bit of both. You know, freedom was nice. Just being able to, you know, just wake up at like 10 o' clock on a random Monday and just like be like, oh yeah, yeah, bro, I'm gonna climb this mountain in sandals. And you know, just doing that, Almost dying the process but still having a good time. But like here, like living like this, you know, all I can really look forward to is like getting drunk with my friends on the weekend and. Yeah, it's just not really that, like, I don't know, enriching. I hate to sound like one of those like, you know, like hippie type people, you know, talking down on other people saying, oh yeah, I can't believe they live their lives like this. But I generally, like, I look at my friends, I'm like, how, how are you not bored yet? You know, I find like a lot of the, the this stuff really to be like really like boring. But I still do it because I don't really. I mean, it's better than sitting at home like re watching, you know, TV shows or like playing video games or some.

[Lyle]

Are your friends having a similar dilemma as you or are they able to tolerate normal life better than you are?

[Omar]

Well, I don't know. I can't say for sure. I do ask them and some of them seem like they're tolerating it quite well. But at the same time you hear them complain about things which, you know, you can relate to. But I, I mean, I guess they're not looking as much to get out of it because they have a lot of things built around it because, you know, a lot of my friends have like long term relationships. They have like, I got some friends that they're like trying to buy off houses and stuff. Like they're trying to like sort of pay for their mortgages and stuff like that. So they can, I guess, you know, they can't really afford to hate what they have because they do need to like lock in a little bit. Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, I think everyone does go through the same thing kind of, but I, I don't know, I just, I really, like, I really struggle to be okay with it.

[Lyle]

Do you know anyone in your personal life who has escaped the matrix, so to speak?

[Omar]

Yeah, I know a couple people that have. I mean, one of some guy that I went to school with, he, I mean, I don't really know what he does. He sells like, automation courses on LinkedIn and, you know, like, you know, power to him. I, I, I don't have it in me to do stuff like that. Like, I really, like, I hate using LinkedIn. I hate that whole, like, you know, the whole culture of just sort of like trying to gas yourself up professionally and fill your, you know, your CV with like, random qualifications and stuff. But he's doing well for himself. I mean, I know a couple people that, you know, they do freelance work, but I mean, for the most part, most of the people I know, they, they, they just work like regular jobs. I mean, I guess that's not an issue you have to deal with because, you know, you just get to like, you know, put the gecko costume on and like, go wherever you want.

[Finn]

Right.

[Lyle]

It's true. I, I, I, I, I do live a bit of a, I do live a spoiled existence at this point where I can kind of gecko around, you know.

[Omar]

Yeah, but gecko problems are still problems, you know. Like, I feel, I feel like when you're, because, you know, when I like, I have some friends that they, they'll complain about, like, whatever problems they'll have. Like, you know, again, like, I have some friends that are like, super rich, have nothing to worry about, and they'll complain about things. And I don't, I don't really hate on people for complaining about their problems because at the end of the day, like, your problem is a problem. Like, just because you're drowning under two feet of water doesn't mean you're still like, not drowning.

[Lyle]

Sure, yeah. No, I'm with you. I mean, everyone has problems, right? Like, I, I actually, it's funny, man. I used to kind of envision, I definitely have done this thing where when I was a kid, I remember like, envisioning the lives of certain people that I looked up to and I kind of imagined what it would be like to travel or what it would be like to live this kind of lifestyle or what it would be like to, you know, get to be creative for a living or this and think. And when I imagined all those things, I imagined like a life where I, you know, I didn't really have any problems. And there's, I don't think there's such a thing as a life with no problems. I mean, they're kind of. I mean. No, there totally is, actually. I've totally met people before who have no problems. And I'm also. I also delusionally believe that, you know how like you can, you can kind of keep delaying happiness or like delaying your life to quote unquote, start until some certain set of external metrics are met over and over and over again. People find that the fulfillment of those external metrics does not really work. But I've. I don't believe that. I actually totally still believe, despite how it's been proven counter over and over again. I still kind of believe that I'm like this close to a life without any problems. I just have to fix a few things that are like I've.

[Omar]

What do you think your biggest problem is? Or, you know, can you give me something?

[Lyle]

What do I think my biggest problem is? Ah, it's. It's a roll. It's a Rolodex of things. I mean, like, I'd like to be. I'd like to be more aligned. You know what I mean by that?

[Omar]

Aligned with what?

[Lyle]

Just a lot. Like I'd like to be like living a life where like every single day I feel like I'm like aligned with what I should be doing in the universe, which, which does have. I know, I know that like there's no such thing as like what you should be doing. Like, I know that we live in kind of an open world, free will, whatever, universe, but I feel there's some times I can, in my gut, I can feel when I'm aligned and how I'm currently spending the moment and I can feel it in my gut when I'm.

[Omar]

You don't think this is it, like

[Lyle]

what we're doing right now?

[Omar]

Yeah, I mean like the sort of thing you do like in your, in your day to day or like your weekly like streams or whatever you're doing there.

[Lyle]

I think that having this conversation with you right now, I feel aligned in the fact that we're doing this, but it's not. It doesn't feel like it's enough for me. I don't feel. I always feel like I have to be doing more or like it's not even that I have to be doing more. It's like I always want to be doing more.

[Omar]

But do you think it's like, I guess, sort of in the realm of what you're doing? Like, do you think like creating content is the sort of thing that makes you feel like you're aligned with what you should be doing, like. Or close to it.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Making. Making things. But then also, I like being around people. And I guess the content that I make inherently forces me to be around people. So I guess I'd like to be. I'd like to be living my life more. I'd always like to be living more intentionally. I mean, I get. I get swept away, as we all do, by, like, the phone and, you know, weed and porn and life.

[Omar]

Yeah, see, those are problems. We don't have so much here because weed is illegal and porn is blocked on everything, really.

[Lyle]

Okay, what's the story with that? No porn at all.

[Omar]

Yeah, but you. I mean, you can. If you are a. A criminal who, you know, engages in illegal activities, you can use a vpn, But I don't know about that.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I'm sure you don't.

[Omar]

But yes, drug is completely illegal. Like, I know some people that have just fully, like, disappeared after getting caught, and, you know, that's enough for me to just never want to try it here, dude.

[Lyle]

It's interesting because Dubai seems. I've never been, but just my idea of it is it seems like a cocaine y city. Like a minority.

[Omar]

Yeah, that. I mean, I've definitely, like. I've seen some people that, like, you know, like, these guys definitely have to be on coke, but I never, like, you know, I don't partake in it when I'm here.

[Finn]

Like, I.

[Omar]

If I do drugs, I do it in a, you know, in a place where I'm not gonna get in, like, huge trouble for it. Like, you know, but not here.

[Finn]

Not here.

[Omar]

Like, alcohol is enough for me.

[Lyle]

Are they big drinkers over there? Do they get. Are they always getting up?

[Finn]

Well, I mean, not.

[Omar]

Not the local people, because they tend to be more, you know, on the religious side of the spectrum. But, you know, a lot of, like, me and my friends, yeah, we always get drunk every weekend. We're always drinking. Maybe not right now because it's Ramadan. So you kind of. You know, I'm. I'm trying to be good. I'm not particularly religious, but, you know, I live with my parents, so kind of feel like I have to do it.

[Lyle]

Is the Middle east in general kind of dry? Like, I mean, obviously it's dry. Obviously the climate is dry. But I mean, yeah, like, alcohol was.

[Finn]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Because when I was. When I was in Iraq, like, no, I don't. I. I couldn't tell whether or not alcohol was legal, but I never it was never sold anywhere.

[Omar]

Yeah, I. It's usually they. I mean, I've seen that it, like when I went to Morocco, it usually sort of operates under the. Like, under a system where, you know, you don't serve it openly in broad daylight, but you can still get it right here as well. For the longest time, it was like that. But I guess in the last couple years, since they open up, the tourists, they've wanted to, I guess, make it, you know, it make their image seem a bit more, like, Westerner friendly. So now they have, like, I guess, more. More bars and nightclubs and beach clubs and stuff like that that are, like, pretty, like, you know, out there in front of you. You still can't advertise alcohol, though. But, you know, there are alcohol shops. Like, I can walk 10 minutes down the road and go and buy a bottle of vodka if I want. You know, a little bit overpriced, but still good.

[Lyle]

What's the stupidest, like, luxury thing you've seen in Dubai? Like, if you like, like shit, like a. Like a $30,000 golden slice of pizza type shit. What's the stupidest thing like that that you've seen?

[Finn]

Oh, damn, that's.

[Omar]

I remember when I was. When I was in school, there was this one girl in my class that had a birthday party. She threw a birthday party, and for start, I was not invited to this birthday party. I just heard, like, you know, some people that went to it. Huh. So, you know, when you're a kid, you give, like, goodie bags at the birthday parties to all your guests, you know. Thank you for coming.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Omar]

Those goody bads, they had iPads in them, like the new one.

[Lyle]

No way. Really?

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Were you p. Were you pissed that you weren't invited?

[Omar]

I mean, yeah, I did get a little bit of fomo, but, you know, if I'm being real, I didn't really know this girl that well, so, of course, you know, it wouldn't be me.

[Lyle]

What's. What's, like, the stupidest thing you've just seen advertised on the street?

[Omar]

The stupidest thing I've seen advertised?

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Finn]

Ooh.

[Omar]

Oh, that's hard to say. I mean, they don't really, like, they're not that stupid of their advertising here. I think it's. It's still. It's. It's very similar to what you would see in, like, any metropolitan city. I mean, I remember this isn't on the street. This is like in a shopping mall. But this is like this one phone shop. Like, it's a brand and they specialize in making phones that are like, you know, essentially like pimped out. Like, you know, the new iPhone comes out, they'll like take it to their workshop encrusted with like gold and diamonds, and then just sell it for like, you know, like 10 times markup. And some people unironically buy that.

[Lyle]

Have you ever bought any, like, stupid luxury stuff or. That's not. That's. It doesn't sound like that's your, that's your taste.

[Omar]

I mean, yeah, I'm pretty, like, I'm pretty cheap. I can't lie. Like, if it's for someone's gift, I'll, like, you know, I'll. I'll get something that's luxurious. But if it's for myself, like, I mean, you know, if I'm being completely honest, like, I know where to find good fakes of if I really want luxury things. But I don't really wear like designer clothes or anything like that. I don't really like. Yeah, I mean, I do like, like a good hotel or like a good, like, you know, spa day or some like that. But if it's something that's just like, like fully materialistic, then yeah, it is really my sort of thing.

[Lyle]

What's the stupidest thing your rich friends have bought?

[Omar]

My friends don't really buy dumb. I mean, sometimes they'll pay like dumb, dumb amounts of money for convenience, but, like, they don't really, like, buy stupid. I mean, I have this one aunt that I don't even know if I should. I should say this. I. I basically like, some people that we know spend like a. A ton of money to just to park a private jet. Like more money than I make in a month, they. They'll spend in a day just to park this jet, which is crazy to

[Lyle]

me,

[Omar]

but I don't think that's even that stupid though, because, you know, if you own it, I guess you have no choice. I mean, owning a private jet, you know, by itself a lot of like, you know, moral and I guess practical questions you got to ask yourself. But if you're gonna park your private jet, I mean, you have no choice but to park it in that expensive place, you know?

[Lyle]

Dude, what's your name again?

[Omar]

I don't even think I said it. My name is Omar.

[Lyle]

Omar. Omar. You know, we've been talking for over half an hour and I'm realizing I never really asked you, and it's okay if you actually just wanted to talk, but was there a specific reason why you called me today?

[Omar]

I honestly, I just saw your Instagram stories saying that you were taking calls, and I figured I may as well give it a shot.

[Lyle]

Swag.

[Omar]

This was specific reasons. I just want to talk about, like,

[Lyle]

Rick, and I hope you find some form of clarity in life. I wish I. Dude, here's the thing, man, is like, I wish I had better answers for you because I don't want to go. Like, I don't know, man. Sometimes I'm down to go all Gary Vee and be like, you should quit your job and learn how to drop ship soap or whatever it is, but I don't know, man. I don't know. Life hits you hard. But I. I do have this. I mean, I. I got a little bit of survivors, whatever, but it's still a bit of a belief that, like, if you want to figure out some alternative way to live your life, it's out there for the taking, should you. Should you really desire it. I don't know what that looks like for you, though. Do you have any idea of. Of what that would look like for you?

[Omar]

Couldn't tell you, man. Couldn't tell you. I mean, it just involves me being comfortable and in some, like, random place around the world. Probably not here, though.

[Finn]

Mm.

[Lyle]

I feel like that's the. That's the dream. Everywhere is like, the dream is to fucking. The dream is always to leave. You know, there's people who are, like, coming from, like. Like, developing countries that are like, oh, the dream is to go to America. And there's people in America who are like, the dream is to go to a developing country where it's cheaper. Like, I feel like a dream is always to leave no matter where you are.

[Omar]

I mean, it's becoming a more common thing nowadays that people in developed countries want to go to developing countries so that they can live with, like, you know, they can just sort of live on a shoestring budget and still live nicely.

[Lyle]

Yeah,

[Omar]

But I'm, like, kind of, I guess, opposed to that idea just because, I don't know, I've seen a lot of people like that. Like, I don't know if you've been to, like, Thailand or, like, Bali before, but there's just a lot of people out there, like Westerners, that they live that sort of life. And I don't think the locals particularly like those kinds of people that much.

[Lyle]

Probably not, no. I. I can't see why. I. I can't see why they would. I mean, yeah, people in general don't, like. Well, it's funny because, like. Well, it's the whole. It's funny, the whole thing of, like, you know, when white people do it, it's like expat. And then like, when people move to the U.S. they're immigrants and it's like there's no real difference. Yeah. But I don't know, it's. It's. It's an attractive thing. It's like the American dream now is to, like, leave America and. Yeah. Go to. Go to somewhere where your dollar can go farther. But I don't know what that's like. In Dubai, it seems like. I don't know, it seems like you have. Well, you seem like you have, like, you got your family, you got your friends there, so it seems like you have at least that version of life. Pretty.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

Pretty.

[Omar]

Well, yeah. That's Dubai. That's true. At least to have people around me, you know? I mean, life does get a. Like, a lot more, like, depressing when you don't have anybody around you.

[Lyle]

Dude, it's the only thing. I mean, it's not the only thing, but it's the most important thing.

[Omar]

Yeah. Like, even if the people around you and your parents drive you crazy, like, you know, it. I guess. I don't know, it does kind of be being alone, but sometimes it doesn't.

[Lyle]

No, dude, because you. You sound like you have a lot of friends in Dubai. Like, you get drunk with your buddies on the weekends, right?

[Omar]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle]

How many guys are there? How many of you guys are there?

[Omar]

I mean, I don't, like. I guess, like, if I'm talking like, like close friends, I don't know, I'd say I have like, six or seven.

[Lyle]

That's incredible. That's.

[Omar]

But I do have, like, a lot of.

[Lyle]

And you have a lot of acquaintances, too.

[Omar]

Yeah, a lot of acquaintances. A lot of people that, like, you know, I'm chill with, but I guess I don't really, like, do much other than, like, you know, see them when I, like, leave the house.

[Lyle]

Dude, I'm gonna tell you this. I'm gonna tell. I know you're struggling with the. The money thing and with, like, the job thing, but, dude, at 26 years old, if you live somewhere where you have six close friends and then you're chill with a bunch of other people, that's. You're doing fucking great. Like, that's. That's a lot, dude. I really do believe that because as you get older, it's. As you get older and, like, you're kind of. People spread out and you kind of find yourself on your own and stuff. Like, having those homies is the thing that keeps you grounded in fucking reality. You know, that's what you. That's what you want. So. So it sounds fucking corny. And I'm not saying it, like, makes up for everything, but, like, you. I. If you. You should at least, like. Like, I hope you feel rich in that. Oh, God, that sounded so fucking corny. But. But I really do. I really am. Like, I really. I. It sounded so fucking corny, but I really do feel like that's a. That's a strong. That's a strong blessing.

[Omar]

No, I get it. I get it. I mean, like, yeah, you say it sounds corny, but, you know, conventional wisdom is conventional for a reason. You know, it's because it kind of works.

[Lyle]

Omar, you said your name was.

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

It's been nice talking to you, man. I appreciate you calling me.

[Omar]

Yeah. Thanks for picking up, man. I was really surprised.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Omar]

I mean, I had a YouTube channel. I would plug it, but I don't really post on it much anymore.

[Lyle]

What were you posting? What were you making?

[Omar]

I was, I guess, just posting content where I yap. I mean, the channel name is literally Omar is Yapping, but I haven't posted on that in, like a year. And, I mean, I look back at the content I made and I don't even. Like, I look at anything.

[Finn]

Yeah, it's kind of stupid.

[Omar]

Sucks. Could do better, but. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like if I can't do it consistently, then maybe it's not for me. I don't know.

[Lyle]

Well, can I see it? What's. What's the name?

[Omar]

Yeah, it's called. It's literally just called OMAR is yapping

[Lyle]

YouTube.com Omar is Y ping. Let's see, four or four. Not found. Hold on. I'm gonna Google it or I'm gonna YouTube search.

[Omar]

I don't share this with anybody, man. I don't know why I got so comfortable on this.

[Lyle]

I can't even. I mean, I can't really find it.

[Omar]

Well, I. I don't know.

[Finn]

It's.

[Omar]

It's still. It's still out there. I'm pretty sure, at least for Omar.

[Lyle]

O M A r. Oh, wait, there you are. Yeah, there you are. There you are. Exposing my deepest, darkest secrets for clout. Is that you?

[Omar]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

You seem like you regret telling me about this.

[Omar]

I mean, honestly, I think it's one of those things, like, what's the point of making content if you can't tell anybody that you make content. But at the same time, I really don't, I really don't want people to like that I know, to know that know about it. But at the same time, like, who cares?

[Lyle]

And, you know, it's really like, who cares?

[Omar]

Yeah, but yeah, I haven't posted on in a year anyway.

[Lyle]

Wait, look at that. Wait, hold on. Wait, brother. Hold on. Okay, we gotta talk because you have a thumbnail here. You have a video that says, embrace the cringe.

[Omar]

Yeah, I know. So it's crazy to think that I was, I was in that mindset a year ago, and now I like, I, I, I, I look at that and I think, like, man, like, who the am I to be telling people to embrace the cringe? Because I'm, you know, very uncomfortable.

[Lyle]

So then, so why not, why not take this opportunity to return to your roots and embrace the cringe?

[Omar]

I think that's the thing. It's just kind of hard when you're in this sort of like. I mean, that's the sort of environment I'm in. You know, everybody just sort of, like, is always, like, looking for things to talk about. So, for example, if, if somebody that, you know, was to have a YouTube channel, you know, people would, like, joke about it and just, like, have to have something to say about it. Yeah. At the end of the day, who fucking cares that people like that think. But it does hurt. It does hurt a little bit. Does hurt a little bit.

[Lyle]

I just commented on it. I said, embrace the cringe.

[Omar]

Thank you for the comment.

[Lyle]

I'm subscribing. I subscribed. I hope you put out a new video. All right.

[Omar]

Thank you so much, Lyle. I appreciate it. Again, like, I. I can't believe I'm. I'm talking to you, man.

[Lyle]

I can't believe.

[Omar]

I can't believe I've, like, kept it. I can't believe I haven't managed to trip over my words or make myself sound like an idiot for the last half an hour or however long you've been speaking.

[Lyle]

You're a professional yapper, Omar.

[Finn]

I'm.

[Omar]

No, I would say I'm an amateur yapper.

[Lyle]

Good enough pro is the goal. It's. It's been good talking to you, Omar. I appreciate you sharing everything with us.

[Omar]

Yeah, it's good talking to you as well. Love you.

[Lyle]

L. Hey, love you too, brother. You take care. So see Omar. That was Omar. Good guy. I don't usually tell people I love them back, but I felt it in that moment. I did. I felt it in that moment Omar he. Omar. Omar touched me. He seemed like a good guy. Go check out Omar is yapping on YouTube. Everyone go on his channel and tell him to keep making videos. Anyone who's ever tried to quit nicotine knows it takes more than willpower to make it stick. That's why X Program by Truth Initiative is with you from the start. Because when changes are worth making, every minute counts and you don't play around with your time. Quitting nicotine isn't easy, but can be more successful with a plan. That's where X Program comes in. It's a free quitting tool built to help you outsmart Nicotine. Built on proven methods, its science backed approach can increase your odds of quitting by up to 40%. When you need support, X Program is always there. You'll get 247 advice via text message and community support. Whether you're thinking about quitting for the first time or are a seasoned quitter, X Program tailors a personal quit plan to meet you where you're at. Quit smarter, not harder with X program. Visit exprogram.com to learn more and join for free when you're ready.

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[Lyle]

hello everyone. Thank you very much for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast. I'm going to end today's episode by reading one piece of geck mail. Geck mail is email that was sent to me, a gecko that I am going to read. So I will read this one piece of viewer email first and then you guys can go. I mean, you can go right now. I'm not. This isn't school. But yes, we'll do this and then we'll end the episode. So this is from Jamie. Subject line Catfishing people made me transgender. I don't know where this is going, but let's read it and we'll and then we'll find out. Hello wise lizard of the computer. Hello Jamie. I'm Jamie for now, but as the title may suggest, that is subject to change. Before we get into it, I should mention I do have a therapist and he's great, but I need someone a bit fucking crazy who can look at this and acknowledge it for the mess that it is. Okay, I am honored to be that person who's a bit fucking crazy about four years ago I started college recently out of COVID Everyone's been inside for ages and it was hard to break the ice. So I did what any well adjusted person would do and I made a bunch of accounts on dating sites posing as a chick, with the idea being that the experience would bring some funny stories to help me talk to the people around me and make some friends. And for what it's worth, it did. However, somewhere down the line, I found myself enjoying it a little more than for how I had initially intended. I felt comfortable for the first time, possibly in my life. I felt connected. Even at 2am when I really should have been Sleeping parentheses. I failed college over this, btw. So I took a step back, I assessed my situation and I went huh, what a coincidence. And just ignored it like a fucking champ. But then calamity struck. All the accounts got banned and I was left with nothing. I just had to make do with the stories I had collected and told thus far. But I missed it. And when I thought about missing it, I realized it wasn't the stories I collected that I missed, but it was the moment to moment interactions and being seen in that way. So I took another look at myself and went huh. Well, I guess there's nothing I can do. But around this time I started seeing a therapist. And because my grades suck and I kept falling asleep in class, we got to talking about things. And at this point I realized that my issues stemmed from just enjoying. My issues stemmed further than just enjoying how the people in the dating app saw me, but also hating how people in person saw me. That's when the idea of being transgender fully fledged in my mind. But there's a pretty significant problem with all this. The way I found out about about all this myself is objectively immoral. And I think it might also be a little bit illegal. Is it illegal? I don't know if that's illegal. I don't know if it's necessarily illegal to pretend to be someone you're not on a dating app. Uh, I don't think there's like a hinge law that makes me feel like I don't deserve this. Maybe I'm a piece of shit who should suffer hating their body, mind and voice until the end of days as a punishment for being a bad person. But then I can't be a good person and do good things if I'm not comfortable in the world. It's a real fucking mess, dude. Which is why I wanted to write you. Because so many people these days are so afraid of putting a foot wrong and all they want to do is put you in some fucking reinforcement chamber so they look like better people. I need the advice of someone real as fuck. And I can't think of anyone realer than the lizard guy who talks to crazy people on the Internet. So what do you think, oh wise lizard man? The moral of the story, I guess, is don't believe everything you see online. And sometimes you gotta do it for the lore. P.S. if you were an item in the Fortnite shop, I would buy you. Umm, well, Jamie, listen, there's nothing wrong. Jamie, why do. Jamie, what's going on? Why do you think you're such a terrible person. I mean, look, you were fucking around on the dating apps, pretending to be a woman. You realized that you kind of liked what it was like being perceived as a woman. You realize, you know, whatever, this is how you found out that you were trans. You know, it's not. It's not insane that this is how you found out. I mean, listen, I'm gonna be honest. I think there's things around this, perhaps, that are indicators of. I don't. Insanity is a. Tough as a. Is quite a word. But there's. There's things around this where I'm like, you know, making Smurf dating accounts. This thing where you're like, I went on dating sites posing as a chick so I would have funny stories to tell people because that's the way I'm going to make connections with others. That's the only part of me that's the main part of this that feels crazy to me. Not like. Like, look, if this is the way you found out that you prefer being seen as a woman, that's. That's fine. The crazy thing is this idea that, like, you need to have crazy stories in order of, like, fucking with people on the Internet in order to connect with people. That's where your logic is flawed. I actually feel like that'll help. That makes you connect with people less. Because here's the thing, Jamie, is you're gonna connect with people because you're taking interest in them, not because, like. Like, if you are in a conversation with someone and you just keep telling, you're like, oh, the way to have. If you are following a line of logic that's telling you the way to connect with someone and have a conversation with them is to pretend to be a woman on a dating app and then fuck with guys and have weird stories about it. You're. You're not gonna connect with that person at all. You're just gonna be a wall of yourself. You're gonna tell these people a bunch of stories that they don't care about, and you're just gonna. And they're gonna be like, oh, that person doesn't know how to connect with people. They're just gonna tell me these stories, you know that they're just gonna be like a wall of themselves. It's not really connecting. That's just like throwing your existence at somebody. So my advice to you is to, you know, next time you're in a conversation, don't bring any of this shit up. Ask them how they're doing, you know, say something like, hey, do you have any. Have you been doing anything interesting lately? And then when they say, no, not really, say, oh, is there anything you'd like to be doing? You know, just keep. Ask them questions. If someone was talking to me about, like, fucking with people on dating apps and like they just brought it up and they just kept talking about it, I would listen to them because I would be curious for sure, but I wouldn't walk away from that feeling like I connected with another person. So that's my $0.02 is, you know, you don't have to be interesting, you have to be interested. Jamie and you know, congrats on, on finding out that you're trans. I don't think that's inherently crazy. I need the advice of someone real as fuck and I can't think of anyone realer than the lizard guy who talks to crazy people on the Internet. You're right, I am a little bit crazy. We all are. Jamie. I'd buy you if you were an item in the Fortnite shop. Just kidding. I wouldn't. I don't play Fortnite. I don't know. I don't have anything more productive to say than this has been. Therapy Gecko. Thank you guys for joining. If you live in the city of Tokyo, Japan, I am doing a show at my favorite comedy club in Japan, the Tokyo Comedy Bar on March 22nd. That's a Sunday. If so, maybe you're off work and you want to come. I'm also doing 30 other shows across America in many places, all over the place, America, some places in Canada, Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal. I have some material that I'll be doing. I have some group Gecko therapy sessions that I'll be conducting and it'll be a good time. I hope you show up. Therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description. This has been Therapy Gecko. My name is Lyle. Thank you guys as always for listening and see you folks in a few days. Geck Bless. Quitting nicotine isn't easy, but is better done with support. Having a community to lean on can help make it feel more manageable. X Program by Truth Initiative is a free quitting tool that can increase your odds of quitting by up to 40%. You'll get 24. 7 advice via text message and community support from people who know what you're going through. That kind of backup can really help change stick. So quit smarter, not harder with X program. Visit exprogram.com to learn more and join for free when you're ready. I'm U.S. transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. We all get distracted when we drive, whether it's from our phones or kids in the backseat bickering. But how we handle these distractions can be a matter of life or death. Before you get on the road for your next road trip, please put your phones on silent and take a mental note to focus on driving Paid for by NHTSA

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[Chelsea Handler]

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. After the Big Game. Like most people, I kept thinking about the commercials, and there was one that stayed with me. It was from the Blue Square Alliance Against Hate, and it wasn't loud or flashy. It showed a Jewish kid being targeted at school and another student who chose not to ignore it. As someone who is Jewish, that moment felt very real to me. Not dramatic, just familiar. And what struck me was how clearly it showed that hate doesn't always announce itself, but the impact is still huge. If you saw the Blue Square spot during the Big Game, it's worth thinking about. And if you want to show support, sharing the Blue Square is one small way to do that.

[Lyle]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.