Lyle (75:56)
hello everyone. Thank you very much for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast. I'm going to end today's episode by reading one piece of geck mail. Geck mail is email that was sent to me, a gecko that I am going to read. So I will read this one piece of viewer email first and then you guys can go. I mean, you can go right now. I'm not. This isn't school. But yes, we'll do this and then we'll end the episode. So this is from Jamie. Subject line Catfishing people made me transgender. I don't know where this is going, but let's read it and we'll and then we'll find out. Hello wise lizard of the computer. Hello Jamie. I'm Jamie for now, but as the title may suggest, that is subject to change. Before we get into it, I should mention I do have a therapist and he's great, but I need someone a bit fucking crazy who can look at this and acknowledge it for the mess that it is. Okay, I am honored to be that person who's a bit fucking crazy about four years ago I started college recently out of COVID Everyone's been inside for ages and it was hard to break the ice. So I did what any well adjusted person would do and I made a bunch of accounts on dating sites posing as a chick, with the idea being that the experience would bring some funny stories to help me talk to the people around me and make some friends. And for what it's worth, it did. However, somewhere down the line, I found myself enjoying it a little more than for how I had initially intended. I felt comfortable for the first time, possibly in my life. I felt connected. Even at 2am when I really should have been Sleeping parentheses. I failed college over this, btw. So I took a step back, I assessed my situation and I went huh, what a coincidence. And just ignored it like a fucking champ. But then calamity struck. All the accounts got banned and I was left with nothing. I just had to make do with the stories I had collected and told thus far. But I missed it. And when I thought about missing it, I realized it wasn't the stories I collected that I missed, but it was the moment to moment interactions and being seen in that way. So I took another look at myself and went huh. Well, I guess there's nothing I can do. But around this time I started seeing a therapist. And because my grades suck and I kept falling asleep in class, we got to talking about things. And at this point I realized that my issues stemmed from just enjoying. My issues stemmed further than just enjoying how the people in the dating app saw me, but also hating how people in person saw me. That's when the idea of being transgender fully fledged in my mind. But there's a pretty significant problem with all this. The way I found out about about all this myself is objectively immoral. And I think it might also be a little bit illegal. Is it illegal? I don't know if that's illegal. I don't know if it's necessarily illegal to pretend to be someone you're not on a dating app. Uh, I don't think there's like a hinge law that makes me feel like I don't deserve this. Maybe I'm a piece of shit who should suffer hating their body, mind and voice until the end of days as a punishment for being a bad person. But then I can't be a good person and do good things if I'm not comfortable in the world. It's a real fucking mess, dude. Which is why I wanted to write you. Because so many people these days are so afraid of putting a foot wrong and all they want to do is put you in some fucking reinforcement chamber so they look like better people. I need the advice of someone real as fuck. And I can't think of anyone realer than the lizard guy who talks to crazy people on the Internet. So what do you think, oh wise lizard man? The moral of the story, I guess, is don't believe everything you see online. And sometimes you gotta do it for the lore. P.S. if you were an item in the Fortnite shop, I would buy you. Umm, well, Jamie, listen, there's nothing wrong. Jamie, why do. Jamie, what's going on? Why do you think you're such a terrible person. I mean, look, you were fucking around on the dating apps, pretending to be a woman. You realized that you kind of liked what it was like being perceived as a woman. You realize, you know, whatever, this is how you found out that you were trans. You know, it's not. It's not insane that this is how you found out. I mean, listen, I'm gonna be honest. I think there's things around this, perhaps, that are indicators of. I don't. Insanity is a. Tough as a. Is quite a word. But there's. There's things around this where I'm like, you know, making Smurf dating accounts. This thing where you're like, I went on dating sites posing as a chick so I would have funny stories to tell people because that's the way I'm going to make connections with others. That's the only part of me that's the main part of this that feels crazy to me. Not like. Like, look, if this is the way you found out that you prefer being seen as a woman, that's. That's fine. The crazy thing is this idea that, like, you need to have crazy stories in order of, like, fucking with people on the Internet in order to connect with people. That's where your logic is flawed. I actually feel like that'll help. That makes you connect with people less. Because here's the thing, Jamie, is you're gonna connect with people because you're taking interest in them, not because, like. Like, if you are in a conversation with someone and you just keep telling, you're like, oh, the way to have. If you are following a line of logic that's telling you the way to connect with someone and have a conversation with them is to pretend to be a woman on a dating app and then fuck with guys and have weird stories about it. You're. You're not gonna connect with that person at all. You're just gonna be a wall of yourself. You're gonna tell these people a bunch of stories that they don't care about, and you're just gonna. And they're gonna be like, oh, that person doesn't know how to connect with people. They're just gonna tell me these stories, you know that they're just gonna be like a wall of themselves. It's not really connecting. That's just like throwing your existence at somebody. So my advice to you is to, you know, next time you're in a conversation, don't bring any of this shit up. Ask them how they're doing, you know, say something like, hey, do you have any. Have you been doing anything interesting lately? And then when they say, no, not really, say, oh, is there anything you'd like to be doing? You know, just keep. Ask them questions. If someone was talking to me about, like, fucking with people on dating apps and like they just brought it up and they just kept talking about it, I would listen to them because I would be curious for sure, but I wouldn't walk away from that feeling like I connected with another person. So that's my $0.02 is, you know, you don't have to be interesting, you have to be interested. Jamie and you know, congrats on, on finding out that you're trans. I don't think that's inherently crazy. I need the advice of someone real as fuck and I can't think of anyone realer than the lizard guy who talks to crazy people on the Internet. You're right, I am a little bit crazy. We all are. Jamie. I'd buy you if you were an item in the Fortnite shop. Just kidding. I wouldn't. I don't play Fortnite. I don't know. I don't have anything more productive to say than this has been. Therapy Gecko. Thank you guys for joining. If you live in the city of Tokyo, Japan, I am doing a show at my favorite comedy club in Japan, the Tokyo Comedy Bar on March 22nd. That's a Sunday. If so, maybe you're off work and you want to come. I'm also doing 30 other shows across America in many places, all over the place, America, some places in Canada, Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal. I have some material that I'll be doing. I have some group Gecko therapy sessions that I'll be conducting and it'll be a good time. I hope you show up. Therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description. This has been Therapy Gecko. My name is Lyle. Thank you guys as always for listening and see you folks in a few days. Geck Bless. Quitting nicotine isn't easy, but is better done with support. Having a community to lean on can help make it feel more manageable. X Program by Truth Initiative is a free quitting tool that can increase your odds of quitting by up to 40%. 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