READING GECKMAIL WITH MY DAD

Summary

Therapy Gecko Podcast: "READING GECKMAIL WITH MY DAD"

Host: Lyle (the Gecko)
Guest: Lyle's Father
Date: January 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this special episode of Therapy Gecko, Lyle forgoes his usual call-in format and sits down in Georgia with his dad to read and discuss listener emails, or "Geckmail." The two delve into themes of introspection, self-awareness, generational shifts, ambition, relationships, anxiety, AI therapy, and more. The tone is open, comfortable, and deeply reflective, with father and son often breaking down personal experiences and sharing candid thoughts on the complexities of adult life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Parent-Child Dynamics & Generational Self-Reflection

(03:08 – 08:16)

• Lyle introduces his dad and discusses the idea of "channeling your parents"—hearing their own parents' voices in themselves.
• Lyle’s father talks about the importance of being transparent with adult children as a way to add value and deepen understanding:

  "To me just being totally transparent with who I am and what I've done and why I've done them gives you an opportunity to say, okay, I could have a complete model of how I want to be as I move through life or how I don't want to be..." (05:06, Dad)

• They discuss genetic similarities and how observing generational traits in children and parents allows for deeper self-understanding.

2. Introspection, Self-Awareness, and Destructive Self-Talk

(10:00 – 13:10)

• Balancing introspection and action: Lyle wonders if it's possible to be "too introspective for your own good."
• His dad distinguishes between introspection and destructive self-talk:

  "To me, that's not a problem. Unless I'm having destructive self talk." (10:40, Dad)

• Even at age 66, destructive self-talk is present daily, but age and experience help manage it.

3. Dreams, Changing Paths, and When to Push Through

(12:48 – 18:44)

• Lyle’s dad shares stories about aspiring to be a film director, recognizing what brought him joy, and ultimately shifting life directions.
  • He speaks honestly about letting go of unfulfilling ambitions and the conflict between pushing through versus moving on.
  • Lyle relates with his own experience in standup comedy:

    "Doesn't it feel nice to just, like, not have to worry about, like, performing and, like, being on stage and stuff? And he looked at me like I was crazy. And he was like, I'm a comedian. I always want to be on stage." (15:00, Lyle)

• They debate whether creative work always requires suffering or whether you should find fulfillment in the process itself.

4. Worry, Control, and the Serenity Prayer

(20:00 – 24:54)

• The distinction between worrying about things you can versus cannot control.
• Both recall the Serenity Prayer and its relevance in managing anxiety:

  "If we can control something, why should we think about it at all?" (21:19, Dad)

• Action as the antidote to fear:

  "Action kills fear." (22:49, Dad)

• Lyle notes his trouble lies chiefly in worrying about things he can control, manifesting as procrastination.

5. Friendship, Connection, and Being a "Good Friend"

(40:52 – 46:56)

• Responding to an email from Chris who feels like a "bad friend" for not reaching out enough.
• Lyle’s dad shares his own similar experience after moving, resolves to "make one call a month" to friends to stay connected (43:03).
• They encourage listeners to focus less on "good or bad" labels and more on what they actually want:

  "What do you want to do?... What's the smart thing to do?" (45:13, Dad)

6. Anxiety About the Future & End-of-the-World Feelings

(47:46 – 58:12)

• Email from Madison/Stacy discusses career anxieties, bleak worldviews, and feeling overwhelmed by others’ apocalyptic outlooks.
• Lyle’s dad urges focusing only on what you can control and letting go of existential dread:

  "You cannot control the end of the world... Treat that general undercurrent that you perceive as being irrelevant to your life." (52:44, Dad)

• They reinforce the importance of leaning into your strengths and pursuing your ambitions, regardless of external odds or appearance standards in industries like acting.

7. AI Therapy and the Reflective Power of Technology

(66:19 – 73:15)

• Listener Josh writes in about how ChatGPT therapy helped him name and reframe his anxiety.
• Lyle and his dad discuss using AI chatbots for introspection and the double-edged sword of receiving positive feedback from an algorithm:

  "I have to remind myself, this is only code. I'm only talking to some really brilliantly compiled code." (70:45, Dad)

• Caution is urged: AI will always praise, but its insight can sometimes still be helpful for self-reflection.

8. Foot Fetish, Sexual Tastes, and Shame

(74:00 – 77:43)

• Zeno writes in about developing an unwanted foot fetish due to widespread talk about feet online.
• The Geck and his father respond non-judgmentally, emphasizing normalization and lack of real harm:

  "Congratulations on identifying something that excites you... and something that's really not destructive to yourself or to others." (75:20, Dad)

• “Fetishes” like this are common and nothing to feel ashamed about.

9. Relationships, Picky Dating, and Aging as a Parent

(80:49 – 97:12)

• DK, 29, fears becoming an “old dad” after years of singledom and pickiness in dating.
• Lyle’s father shares personal experience: he married at 33 and had children in his mid/late thirties, never felt too old to be an engaged parent (85:06–85:48).
• They discuss the paradox of choice in modern dating, the non-existence of a perfect “relationship rulebook,” and the myth of “settling.”

  "There is no ship. There's 330 million ships in a very crowded ocean, and every ship is going in the direction of its captain." (89:54, Dad)

• Relationships are inherently hard but satisfying love is worth waiting for (100:53).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Parenting and Perspective

• "To me just being totally transparent with who I am... gives you an opportunity to say, okay, I could have a complete model of how I want to be as I move through life or how I don't want to be as I move through life." (05:06, Dad)
• "You made a copy of yourself and you sent it out into the universe, and now you're seeing how it's doing things..." (08:02, Lyle)

On Self-Awareness

• "You lean into your strengths." (10:16, Dad)
• "Destructive self-talk... To me, that's not a problem. Unless I'm having destructive self talk." (10:40, Dad)

On Ambition and Fulfillment

• "Sometimes you do just have to power through those feelings." (19:54, Dad)
• "I was looking out through the window and fantasizing that if a nuclear bomb hit Los Angeles, I wouldn't have to write the brief." (19:39, Dad)

On Anxiety and Control

• "Most of the time we're worrying about things that we cannot control." (20:52, Dad)
• "Action kills fear." (22:51, Dad)

On Friendship

• "I am going to make one call a month to a person on my list of my friends." (42:54, Dad)
• "A bad friend is someone who goes and takes out a gun and shoots all of their friends to death. That's a really bad friend." (44:42, Dad, humorous)

On The End of the World

• "You cannot control the end of the world." (52:44, Dad)

On Self-Discovery Through AI

• "I have to remind myself, this is only code... I'm only talking to some really brilliantly compiled code." (70:45, Dad)
• "I get... you get a little hit. Yeah, you do. Yeah. You get a little hit." (71:52, Lyle, about AI praise)

On Foot Fetish Normalization

• "Congratulations on identifying something that excites you and that's really not destructive to yourself or to others." (75:20, Dad)

On Relationships and Perfection

• "There is no ship. There's 330 million ships in a very crowded ocean, and every ship is going in the direction of its captain." (89:54, Dad)
• "Satisfying love is worth waiting for." (100:53, Dad)

On Aging and Regrets

• "My biggest regrets are any times I have been unkind." (60:10, Dad)

On Generational Differences

• "I think they unfairly diminish the strengths of the younger generations. You know, I don't think the younger generations get nearly enough credit from my peers for having intelligence, for having sensitivity, for having thoughtfulness, and for contributing to the world." (103:09, Dad’s concluding thought)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:08 – Lyle introduces his father and the theme of Geckmail
• 05:06 – On honesty and transparency in parenting
• 10:40 – Discussion on introspection vs. destructive self-talk
• 12:51 – Father’s abandoned dream of being a film director
• 15:00 – Lyle’s reflection on comedy and fulfillment
• 19:39–19:54 – Dad’s nuclear bomb anecdote about wanting to avoid work
• 21:19 – Serenity prayer and the illusion of control
• 42:54 – Dad’s New Year's resolution to connect with friends
• 45:13–45:33 – “What do you want to do? What's the smart thing to do?”
• 52:44 – Response to Madison/Stacy about end-of-the-world anxiety
• 66:19 – ChatGPT therapy, benefits and caveats
• 74:00 – Responding to Zeno’s unwanted foot fetish
• 85:06 – Dad’s perspective on marrying and parenting “late”
• 89:54 – The “330 million ships” metaphor for unique life paths
• 100:53 – “Satisfying love is worth waiting for.”
• 103:09 – Dad’s parting thoughts on generational strengths

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Tone & Style

• The episode is candid, conversational, and oscillates naturally between humor and serious insight.
• Both hosts reflect openly on their uncertainties, regrets, and changing perspectives with age, while offering gentle guidance and affirmation to listeners.
• The father-son dynamic is warm and playful, with mutual respect and curiosity.

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Useful for New Listeners

This episode stands out as both a deep dive into universal human questions and an accessible, engaging father-son dialogue. It’s rich in anecdote (from both the Gecko and his dad), employs real-world examples, and balances advice, empathy, and the acceptance of life’s ambiguity.

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For more Therapy Gecko content, follow Lyle at Twitch.tv/lyleforever.

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Transcript

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[D]

I was happy to interrupt my nap to be on your podcast.

[A]

I was happy you could interrupt your nap, too. I feel like there's a lot of times where I'm, like, talking on this podcast and I can, like, hear. This will be interesting for me because there's a lot of times where, like, I'm talking on this podcast and I can hear in my own voice that I'm talking similar to you. So the audience will now be able to tell me if that's true.

[D]

That happens all the time to me where I'm talking, and I feel like my father is talking through me when all the time that happens.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Yeah, it's very. And I think it's actually pretty common in the world that people channel their parents, first of all through genetics and then, you know, just through orientation. You know, I was thinking about this.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The other day, actually, I was thinking about this yesterday when you came in. And I'm pretty open with you.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

About things that happened in my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And how I feel about things and what I do. And there's. There's multiple reasons for that.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

One reason for that is I. I love you. I trust you. I feel very close to you. So it's just natural to have that kind of interaction. But there's. There's another kind of a parental reason that I do it, which is, you know, at this stage, you're totally an adult. You make all of your own decisions. You come and go and do whatever makes sense to you in your vision of the world in your life, and I completely respect that. So, you know, the, The, The. The parent child roles don't disappear.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

So the question is, what can I do as your parents that would add value for you? And to me just being totally transparent with who I am and what I've done and why I've done them gives you an opportunity to say, okay, I could have a complete model of how I want to be as I move through life or how I don't want to be as I move through life.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And I. And I can't imagine a better thing to. To give you besides, you know, bequeathing you all of my worldly possession, which will happen at some Point.

[A]

Well, I hope it doesn't happen for a long time, but. No, I appreciate that because I feel like the. It's interesting you say you channel your father through yourself, because I. Yeah. I also feel like I like, like, am, you know, similar to you in many ways because I have your genes. And so to hear when you're, you know, transparent with me about your life and, you know, whatnot, I feel like I get more clarification on, like, my own brain because I'm talking to someone who genetically has a similar brain to me. And to see how, like, your life plays out and how your thoughts and your feelings play out. It. It's, It's. It's very helpful. It is. It is far more helpful to me than all of your worldly possessions. Yeah.

[D]

And, you know, you know, people who don't have children, 100% legitimate lifestyle choice.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

No criticism of them at all. Yeah. But when you have a child and you participate in that child's life and you see him or her grow up, you start to recognize in that child pieces of yourself, you know, that you have passed on. And then you somewhat recognize parts of your parents that are also reflected in the child and in yourself.

[A]

Whoa. Interesting. I didn't think about that.

[D]

And it gives you a much, I feel, deeper understanding of yourself in the world. And, you know, when you see. When you see characteristics and traits in your child and in your. Your parents that you may have thought was within you as well.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And it does give you a fuller understanding of yourself in the world.

[A]

Right. Like, you made a copy of yourself and you sent it out into the universe, and now you're seeing how it's doing things, and then you're like, yeah, that can give you more perspective on.

[D]

Yourself, especially when you, when you see those traits reflected in your parents.

[A]

Yeah, those.

[D]

Because those traits that. That carry through three generations, I mean, that's. That's a deep characteristic.

[A]

Do you see any similarities between me and your dad?

[D]

Oh, my God, so many.

[A]

Like what?

[D]

Well, you know, one of the things my dad was really, really good at was going into places where he didn't know anybody. It was a strange and alien place and make himself and the people he was with feel comfortable. He was really skilled at sales, and part of that was his ability to make himself comfortable in unusual and different situations and make the people he was with feel comfortable in that situation and with him. And, I mean, I think that's something that you are very gifted at. I appreciate that, as is evidenced by all of the things that you've done professionally over the last half dozen years.

[A]

I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Hmm.

[D]

And it suggests to me that. And it prompts me to consider whether I have that character characteristic.

[A]

Of course you have that characteristic.

[D]

You know, and so. So why do we care what we're like? Why does it matter that we know what we're like? It matters because if we could recognize things in ourselves that are. Are real parts of us.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And we want and we like that. We can lean into that in the. In the things that we do.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[D]

And we could be more successful in our lives, in our relationships, in our careers, in our, you know, social life, in our hobbies, in our creative pursuits. You lean into your strengths.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that's the thing about, like, that's why the self knowledge is helpful, because, well, like, self awareness of, like, your self awareness is, I feel like, like introspection. And I don't know if you have this too, but, like, sometimes I feel like I get too introspective for my own good, that I'm like. Like living in my head instead of, like, in the world, you know, like, analytically, like, thinking it. Like, do you ever feel like thinking about yourself too much?

[D]

No.

[A]

It can be like a disease.

[D]

No. To me, that's not a problem. Unless I'm having destructive self talk.

[A]

Oh. Of like. Oh, I'm not good. Like, unless if you're built, like, you're building a narrative of yourself where you suck.

[D]

Yes, that's right. But otherwise, you know, your thoughts, you could have just wonderful thoughts about yourself and how you fit into the world. And I don't see a problem with doing that unless you have destructive self talk.

[A]

How often are you having destructive self talk at the age of 66?

[D]

Every day.

[A]

Every day?

[D]

Every day.

[A]

Has it gotten easier over time? Have you gotten better at dealing with it?

[D]

I have gotten much better at dealing with it because, you know, when you get older, like, I just retired a year ago, and, you know, as a younger person, I had certain specific dreams and goals, and then my life changed and I focused on different dreams and goals. And now that I'm older and all of that is behind me, and the activity of having dreams and goals is not behind me. I still have them.

[A]

I see the specifics of them.

[D]

Right. But the specifics of them, I can now look back and, you know, to a certain extent, my life has bookended a little bit, you know, and I can see, well, all right, I wanted to do that when I was 17 years old. I made different choices when I was 23 years old. Why did I make those choices? What was it about me that made those choices? And. And that's where you might say, well, why bother? Why bother? And. And that would be a legitimate response.

[A]

Why? Why. Why bother analyzing?

[D]

Yeah, why bother analyzing? But, you know, again, it, it. A lot of it comes down to understanding who you are and, and, and what you're good at and leaning into it or could use a little improvement at and focus on improving those areas.

[A]

So what was. So when you were 17, what was your dream?

[D]

Oh, I was. I went out to California to become, you know, a film director. And, you know, and I'll tell you, in stages, I moved away from that in very. At various times.

[A]

Like, it. It happened slowly.

[D]

It. It did happen slowly.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And it happened before I ever really, like, put my heart and soul into doing the thing.

[A]

Oh, before you ever put your heart and soul into doing whatever it was you were doing.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, I remember I have a really good friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Who. His name is Fred Decker. And I drop his name because I admire him tremendously. And anybody wants to look him up, he's had a very interesting career as a filmmaker. As a filmmaker, As a writer. And I remember I was at UCLA and he had reserved a soundstage to make a short movie. And I remember walking by it and looking at it and having this feeling that I don't see myself in that environment. That's not the right place for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So. But. And then I kind of like, let that go. And then I. I worked after I graduated from UCLA as a waiter at Bob's Big Boy Restaurant, and I was gonna write a novel. And as I was writing the novel, I was thinking, I'm not feeling joy from doing this.

[A]

Yeah. So.

[D]

Those were kind of introspective things. Like, if I'm not introspective about those things, I may not make the right decisions for myself.

[A]

Well, it's. I don't know if I've probably talked about it on this podcast before, but I had a moment with that, with. With stand up comedy, where I was at a. I was at this show and I wasn't on the show, but I was like a friend's show. And then I had another friend who was there who. Who also wasn't on the show, and I, like, was talking to my other friend who wasn't on the show, and I said to him, doesn't it feel nice to just, like, not have to worry about, like, performing and, like, being on stage and stuff? And he looked at me like, I was crazy. And he was like, I'm a comedian. I always want to be on stage. And I left. And I left that night being like, fuck, if I'm not like that, then I don't know if I can do this. And then it was. It, you know, it ended up be in this interesting full circle thing because I, you know, I perform as the gecko and stuff, but I have had, like, had those moments where, like, I see somebody else, like, looking like they're really enjoying doing something that I thought I wanted to do and then being like, fuck, am I. Is that. Am I supposed to feel that way? But are you. But it's hard to tell because I'm like, I think there. There must be a suffering of some kind. Like, in order to write a book or do something, like, you do have.

[D]

To.

[A]

Like, you can't expect yourself to enjoy every single part of the process, can you?

[D]

You think, well, fair question. And it deserves, you know, a thoughtful response, which is, all right, let's look at those two situations that I. That I told you in my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Now, I could very well have said, all right, I don't see myself in that environment regarding that soundstage experience. And I could have said, why? Why don't I see myself in that? And maybe understood myself better and gotten over that.

[A]

Yeah, sure, I see what you mean. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[D]

You know, same thing with. With, you know, I was writing my novel and, you know, feeling no joy, I would have thought, why am I feeling no joy? And maybe if I'd done some investigation, I would have realized that every novelist in the history of letters has hated writing.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

And just had to get past that because they had a voice and they had something to say, and that was important to them. So, you know, unfortunately, I feel like I'm leaving your listeners with conflicting approaches.

[A]

To, well, the world. I mean, you have, you know, I. I don't think there is a correct approach. You know, I'm very. One of the hard things about. You know, one of the hard things about doing this, and I don't. Look, I definitely. I talk about this all the time on here is like, I don't. I try not to give advice. I end up doing it on. On certain situations. I feel like it. But I feel like I remain. I remain rather agnostic towards a lot of stuff on here, truly. Because I will think about the different ways to approach stuff, and I will wind up being like, I really don't know which one is the correct approach. Like, this Specific issues, you know, of like, you know, am I supposed to, like, suffer through the not liking of the process of the doing of the thing, or am I supposed to find something where the process of doing it feels good? And I've experienced. I've had lots of experiences where I did, like, overcome the lack of desire to do something. And it made, like, a really great product that was really proud of, I'm sure, happy I did it. Deadlines help with that, of course, but. But then there was a time where I'm like. But then there's shit where I'm like, oh, I can really tell. I enjoy the process of doing this thing.

[D]

Listen, I remember being a practicing lawyer in Los angeles in the 1980s. This was shortly after, let's say, three or four years. You know, the Cold War was still going in the 1980s, and there was a big production of nuclear war that came out, like, in 84, 85. That really was sobering about what nuclear war was going to be like. So it's kind of like roughly on your mind. I was very lucky. I had beautiful office in Century City, Los angeles, on the 19th floor, overlooking all of West Los Angeles. And on a relatively clear day, I could see the ocean.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And it was just great.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And I was writing a brief that I hated writing.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I did not want to write it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So I was. I was looking out through the window and fantasizing that if a nuclear bomb hit Los Angeles, I wouldn't have to write the brief.

[A]

Mm.

[D]

I ended up writing the brief.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And we ended up winning the case.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But, yeah, you have to. Sometimes you do just have to power through.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Those feelings.

[A]

You know, it's funny, as you've told me that story before, but I never knew that that was, like, in the context of the Cold War. I just imagine that you were looking out at your office imagining that a bomb would come, but I didn't know that there was a context in which. Oh, there theoretically could have been.

[D]

Well, now it would be like a comet or an asteroid.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Because we just watched that movie Greenland, and we're looking forward to Greenland 2, which is all about a comet hitting the planet. And, you know, my wife is a crazy apocalypse.

[A]

Apocalypse fan. Fan. Are you. Do you work. Do you ever worry about the apocalypse?

[D]

Never.

[A]

Is it because of the statistical unlikeliness of it happening or because if it does happen, you don't need to worry about ever again?

[D]

You know, there's the whole concept of control.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And worry.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Right. And we all, you know, worry Is kind of a fundamental part of the human condition.

[A]

But.

[D]

But it's a very destructive thing. And most of the time we're worrying about things that we cannot control.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right, so then. Then the question is. All right, well, let's get. Let's. Let's drill down really deep. Lyle, how. All right. If we can control something.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Why should we think about it at all?

[A]

I know it's hard. That's. Well, well, that's the. You know. That's the. You know, the Serenity prayer, Right?

[D]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

That's this. The serenity. It goes something like. Give me the. You know, it's funny sideway, in the episode I did with Chloe, we brought up the Serenity prayer of, like, the. The.

[D]

Well, give me the. The. The strength to understand the things I can control and the. Whatever.

[A]

The.

[D]

The things that I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.

[A]

Yeah. The courage. Yeah, the courage. Control the things that I. Something. Help me accept the things I can't control. Help me change the things I can. Help me understand the difference. I think for. If you worry a lot and you have anxiety, to me, at least, I don't think I. I've gotten pretty good at not worrying about things I can control. I get really worried about things that I can control. You know what I mean? And I think. I think people. I think having a lot of worry and anxiety is about a. Having trouble knowing the difference. But also is. I have a lot of. But also, like, I do. I have a lot of worrying about things I can control, which stops me from controlling them. It's like it. It's just. It just takes up. It's like procrastination.

[D]

Well, but that's the great thing.

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[D]

Because you can translate that worry into action.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Right. Action kills fear.

[A]

Yeah. Do you procrastinate a lot still?

[D]

I was actually not much of a procrastinator.

[A]

No.

[D]

I never felt that way about myself. I feel like if I'm procrastinating about something.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It's because in my subconscious, I haven't really decided that it's the right thing to do. Yeah.

[A]

You know, I do. I believe that too. I believe that, too. When I feel intuitively drawn to do something I can. I don't have to procrastinate on it.

[D]

And actually that kind of circles around something else that we were kind of talking about, which was like the concept of powering through.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And, you know, when people have come to me and said, I don't know what to do about X, Y, and Z. Whatever the situation is, my first. I don't have advice for anybody.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

My first question is, what do you want to do?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And that's, in my opinion, the first question you should ask. You don't know what to do, because a lot of times people really know what they want to do, but they're afraid of the potential consequences.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

All right, Then if they can't get there, I say, okay. The second question is, what's the smart thing to do?

[A]

Oh, that's an interesting one. What's the smart thing to do?

[D]

Which is not the first question. That's the second question.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Because you know what?

[A]

Those can be conflicting. Those can have conflicting answers. Of course.

[D]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

No question about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Because, like, look, ultimately, time is limited in our lives.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We should do what we want.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

If it's not hurting anyone. If it's not, you know, leading us to, you know, destruction and despair. You know, I mean, focus on what you want to do because it's your life and you really. I mean, you really only get one of them.

[A]

I know. I think a lot of the problems that people on this show have. Well, we can read some of these emails at some point, is like juggling what they want to do with the ever growing external requirements of. Of existing on the earth. You know what I mean?

[D]

It's very complicated.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, human civilization, it just, you know, is a massive maze that gets more complex with more blind turns daily. By the way, your listeners should know that. That this is how we talk.

[A]

Yeah, this is.

[D]

This is not like, oh, we're doing this for a podcast. This is how we talk.

[A]

Of course.

[D]

And then people might say, oh, poor Lyle. Or they might say, that's awesome.

[A]

No, no, I'm so. I'm really happy I asked you to do this. This is way better than me just doing this alone. Actually, you know, I wanted. There was a thread of. Oh, okay. All right. So just. Just to close this thread of. Okay, so you're. It's fine. You were on the. You were on the phone with my uncle last night and you were talking about this, about how you were on the phone with my uncle last night and you were. You said that one of the great things about being older is that you get to look at your life and see how it all.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Played out.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

So now with what you told us about how, you know, you went out to Los Angeles to, like, do all these things and now life has played out, like, how do you. What's your reflection on how life has played out.

[D]

I have great anecdote about that.

[A]

Yeah, please.

[D]

Having to do with Chloe.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So I was talking to Chloe not terribly long ago. It would have been like within the last couple of years.

[A]

Years.

[D]

And I, I was talking, I was. I was down talking the concept of being a dabbler, you know, a person for reference.

[A]

If some people know, but some people don't. Chloe. Chloe is my sister. Right, Go ahead.

[D]

So, you know, like doing. Getting really good at mahjong and then learning how to ski.

[A]

A jack of all trades.

[D]

A jack of all trades. And I was saying that kind of in a negative way.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And then I do something that I almost always do after I say something.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I think about whether that's really true.

[A]

You know, I do the same. I do the same fucking thing. I like, I'll say it first, then I'll be like, wait, I do. I actually.

[D]

Is it really true? And then I realized that my whole life I've been. And I'm going to say this proudly, a grade A dabbler.

[A]

Yeah, I was. Yeah, you are a dabbler.

[D]

I was. I'm like, you know, I write screenplays, I play music, I play chess, I play golf.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, I like to tool around with computers, you know, over and over again. There's, there's, you know, I love sports. So. Yeah. I think I've gone through my life and I've looked at all the different things that I've done, the extracurricular things that I've done, and I feel pretty proud about what I've done. And the nice thing is, look, I'm 66. I still have time to do more things.

[A]

Yeah. What more do you want to do?

[D]

I want to write music. I want, you know, I have this idea, and if somebody wants to steal this idea, go right ahead. That's fine. There's room. There's room for multiple people to do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. But they won't. Because your. Your listener base, I'm guessing, probably doesn't know the 1969 hit song in the year 2525.

[A]

Probably not. Yeah, probably not. I'm gonna guess they don't.

[D]

I would urge you to put a link to Spotify or apple music or YouTube in the song. In the description to the song.

[A]

Okay, sure, we can do that.

[D]

I wanna make a music video where I play the song and then. And the song is kind of a cautionary tale about the dangers of future technology.

[A]

Oh, really?

[D]

Yeah. That's what the song is.

[A]

What is it? I'll look it up.

[D]

In the year 2525.

[A]

Year 2525. Oh, I thought. I thought you were saying 2025.

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay. In the year 2525, if man is still alive, if woman can survive, they might find. In the year 3535, you're not going to need to tell the truth. Tell no lie. Everything you think, do, or say is in the pill you took today. This is about, like, fascism.

[D]

You could interpret it that way.

[A]

How do you. How do you interpret it?

[D]

I. I interpreted it more of, like, biotechnology.

[A]

Oh, sure, sure.

[D]

You know, it's like you take a pill and it just, you know, drives everything you do during the day. You kind of are sacrificing your agency for the benefit of. Of being able to rely upon that technology.

[A]

Would you. Would you analogize that to social media? Would you analogize that to our. Our phones? Perhaps?

[D]

You know, I never thought of it that way. I've always taken the song's lyrics pretty much at their face value. By the way, this was the number one song.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The day. And apologies to conspiracy theorists, the day that Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the Earth. July 20, 1969. This was the number one hit.

[A]

Yeah, that was probably. Can I. You know, I'm curious. Like, I bet it was. Do you. Do you think it's because people were stoked about the future?

[D]

Yes, I think there was a. I think. I think the future was very much on people's minds back then.

[A]

See, I feel. So your generation was like, tell me if you think this is accurate. But it seems like your generation was, like, stoked about the future because, like, everything was like, when they would come out with something, it would be cool, like, like, oh, we got a man walking on the moon. We got like, look. Look at this computer. It's awesome. And now, like, my generation, like, when they come out with something, it's like. Like, I think my generation is way more, like, spooked about the future than yours. Yours seems like it was more excited.

[D]

I think your generation has gone through follows a lot of historical events that make it feel like we're on the verge of the apocalypse.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

And I think. I think there's a very strong end of days current that runs through our culture. And listen, you know, God willing, the influence of boomers, which is my generation, will pass. God willing. Because we've had our time and, you know, it's time for younger generations to move forward and take the reins and control the world. And, you know, I'm hoping that Future generations will kind of emerge from these end of days feelings and have greater hopefulness. But I agree with what you said. I think there is a big difference.

[A]

What year were you born?

[D]

1959.

[A]

Okay, so you're born after. So you're, I mean, you're. So what was. I don't know if you've talked much to. What year was your dad born? Do you know?

[D]

1931.

[A]

1931. Okay, so he was like. So he's like a. He's like 15 and the world is literally at war.

[D]

He's at 15 and we dropped two bombs on Japan.

[A]

Crazy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So I don't know, 14.

[D]

It's actually 13 because he was born in November of 1931. Right. So in August of 1945 when the bombs dropped, he would have been 13.

[A]

Well, I think about this stuff because we've lived through, like, yeah, my generation's lived through a lot of like, like really spooky apocalyptic things. But we're not the first generation to do that. I mean, there was a. Oh, my God, there's a world war.

[D]

You're so not the first generation to do that.

[A]

And, and that makes, And I've, I've explained, you know, I try to, like, it's something that makes me feel good and optimistic about the future because it's like. And I've tried to explain this on here before of my feelings of like, it's scary to be living in like, unprecedented times, but we're. People are always living in unprecedented times. And so that makes me feel a little bit better. Like there was a generation of people who was like, oh, fuck, though there's. We're dropping nuclear fucking bombs on each other. And look, we're. Our generation is also kind of watching the news and being like, are we about to drop a bunch of nuclear fucking bombs on each other and shit? But we're not the first people to, you know, be looking at the world biting our nails.

[D]

Well, there's no question that the nuclear age is different than what came before.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Because never before did humans have the ability, with just a few fairly minor actions, destroy the planet.

[A]

Right.

[D]

We never had that ability before, you know, 1945, and we very much have it now, so concern about that is legitimate. But it's. It's like living with a dull ache that you have in your body.

[A]

Oh, sure.

[D]

You just learn to live with the ache and you try not to focus on it and you try to focus on, on other things and, you know, and get through the day.

[A]

Do you think that, like, when you were, like, when you were my age, when you were 28, like, the people around you, do you think that they were, like. Do you think. Do you think morale was better in general than it is for, like, people my age now?

[D]

Depends. You know, morale is kind of interesting. And when I was 28. Let's see. When I was 28, it was, what, 1989. All right. We were just ending eight. Eight years of Reagan.

[A]

The Simpsons began.

[D]

Okay. The Simpsons began. How interesting that is.

[A]

I don't know why I threw that in there, but go ahead.

[D]

You know what? I was a very early fan of Matt Groening. You know, I have.

[A]

You have. You have the life and you have the life in hell books.

[D]

I have those books from the early to mid-1980s.

[A]

Yeah. Wait. Sorry. You can go ahead. We don't have to go on a Matt Groening.

[D]

Well, no, no, but it's just kind of interesting. So we're. You know, I remember so much more optimism in 1969 than I do in 1989.

[A]

When you were 10?

[D]

Yeah, when I was 10. I remember. All right, 1970. That was the first decade turn of that. I. I mean, obviously I had a decade turn from 59 to 60, but I was less than a year old, so it doesn't really count. Yeah, but, you know, decade turns are. Are opportunities to be excited about the future.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And I remember feeling that in myself and in the world. In 1969, it helped that the New York Mets had just won the World Series, which was a miraculous event in the world of sports. I don't remember feeling that the same in 1989. You know, I remember being in 1989. I. You know, I wanted to meet a girl and have a family and buy a house and do all the things. I was concerned. I was. I was concerned that I wasn't going to be able to afford to do that in Los Angeles, even though. Even though I had a good career and I probably could have afforded to.

[A]

Do it well, because the narrative is that, like, that, like, doing all that. The narrative is that, like, you know, like, for, like. Yeah. Like in that generation, that it was, like, relatively easy if you had, like, a good job to, like, do all those things.

[D]

So. Well, it depends on where you are.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

It's always been tough to do them in New York. It's always been tough to do them in Los Angeles, depending upon where in Los Angeles.

[A]

Yeah. Right, right.

[D]

And. And even today, the further you go from a major metropolitan area, the more affordable it is. Yes, that's always been true. Right now, I don't want to come off as a Luddite. I recognize that it feels really intimidating to try to get into the real estate market now. I understand that, and I could see why people feel that way, and I think those feelings are legitimate.

[A]

Mm.

[D]

That said, you know, it's just. It's always been a hard balance. You know, look, my brother bought a house in the 1990s, and, you know, he was living. He's a doctor.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right. And he didn't feel like he could afford Westchester. He was a doctor practicing in New York City. Didn't feel like he could afford Westchester. So he moved to, I think the Putnam county, which is north of West Jersey.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But it was. It was such a headache and a hassle to get to him. But it was the same principle. The further away you move from the.

[A]

Major city, the more you could afford. The more. Yeah, and I guess that does, that does remain true today.

[D]

That's right. You know, and, and interest rates have jumped all over the place.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, when I graduated from college, interest rates were like 18 or 19% in 1981.

[A]

And now they're like, what, now?

[D]

They're about, you know, about 6ish percent.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We all remember, you know, the last decade when they went down to 2% and 3% and 4%.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I think we might see that again.

[A]

Yeah, that's. People are really cheering for that.

[D]

Well, it's got to be done, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm not a political scientist. I'm not an economist. I don't know, but I don't know the right way to do it. All I know is if you don't do it the right way, I think we're going to have a lot of unintended consequences.

[A]

Well, listen, should we do an email? Do you want. Do you want to do it? You want to do an email?

[D]

Yeah. Because we could do this.

[A]

We could do this all day. Let's, let's. Let's do. And we can. The emails can launch back into us doing this bliss. Let's read it. Let's read. Start with an email. Okay, I'm gonna. Now here's the thing. And I'll prep you for this. Is that. Okay, I'll prep you for this. Is that these aren't all like question answer emails. Sometimes people just want to express things, and then I'll ponder them. And sometimes they're like normal things, and then sometimes, sometimes they're like very. Sometimes they can be depressing, sometimes they can be funny. But like, you know, this just. We'll read it and then we can ponder it.

[D]

Well, you know what? One of the things I've always admired about what you have done as the Gecko is that you create a safe space for people to do that. I appreciate that and I will try to honor and respect that.

[A]

Thank you, Dad. I appreciate that. Okay, so this is from. This is from Chris. The subject line is, I think I'm a bad friend. Hey, Geck. I think I'm a bad friend. I do have friends and I do care for them as my friends and would most likely do anything if they asked. But this isn't what I mean, to be honest. I do the bare minimum these days to be a friend to anyone. I find that I never hang with them and I don't make time to go out with the boys. Shit. I rarely take myself out or want to do anything. I have maybe two good friends, people I would go see if they called me. Otherwise, it's just me and my family at home. I make zero attempts to try to hang out, but I'm never feeling a sense of FOMO about it. Am I a bad friend? This was a very. He was very general about it.

[D]

You know what? This email really speaks to what I'm experiencing right now in my own life.

[A]

Please. Yeah.

[D]

Because we moved to Georgia from Maryland just a few months ago. And I have great friends in Maryland and I've got great friends in New York, and I've got great friends in Los Angeles. And you live in New York. Chloe lives in Chicago. And I am becoming a little bit of a hermit in that. I. I play my golf.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And I play my music.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And I. I do whatever I can with my wife. We're very, very close. And I also feel like sometimes I'm not a good friend. I. I totally understand that.

[A]

Because you're not actively reaching out to try to make the plans.

[D]

So I have made a New Year's resolution.

[A]

What's your New Year's resolution?

[D]

I am going to make one call a month to a person on my list of my friends.

[A]

That's true. I like that.

[D]

One call a month.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And, you know, and we'll talk. Maybe I'll send them a text. Hey, I really would love to connect with you. When would be a good time?

[A]

And we'll just talk.

[D]

I'll do that. A different person every month. And will that make me a better friend? Well, that's really subjective.

[A]

I think so. Yeah.

[D]

I think it'll make me feel more connected.

[A]

Yeah. I would And I would piggyback off of that. I would say that I think this guy Chris is kind of like qualifying himself unnecessarily as, like, good or bad. But that's the question is, does he desire to feel more connected? Because he did say he was like, I rarely want to do anything I'm feeling. And he's not feeling a sense of fomo. I don't know. It's. It's. Dude, here's. Here's a weird conundrum I'm running into when I'm thinking about these things is like, like this guy Chris, I don't know, like, from his email, I can't tell if he wants to feel more connected. And there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people like that. And, you know, I respect that if that's how you want to. How you want to be. But, you know, I would say that, yeah, if he, if he wants to be more connected, that he should go out and reach out to more people, but not because he feels some sort of, like, sense of obligation of like, I must be a good friend, but because he wants to, you know, I guess, feel. Feel connected.

[D]

You know, the whole concept of good and bad in those terms is, is. Is. Is self. Destructive talk.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, destructive self talk. Yeah, because. Right. Bad. No, a bad friend is someone who goes and takes out a gun and shoots all of their friends to death. That's a really bad friend.

[A]

That's a really bad friend. Yeah.

[D]

Okay, so that's probably on the edge, you know, but why think in those terms?

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[D]

Let's go back. Let's go back. Because he's asking a question. What do I do with my life? Is really what he's asking.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

So let's go back. What's the model? What do you want to do?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right. Well, I kind of want to just stay home and, and, and, you know, play video games and. And just, you know, look at my phone and just chill. That's what I want to do.

[A]

And then what's the smart thing?

[D]

What's the smart thing to do? Well, the smart thing to do is stay connected.

[A]

Of course.

[D]

Right, of course. That's the smart thing.

[A]

So.

[D]

So, okay, Chris, we have that balance now. We understand what you want to do, and we understand the smart thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right. And I think most people would agree the smart thing is to stay connected.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, on whatever level. On whatever level, like me, I'm. I'm doing it the easiest way I can really imagine.

[A]

It's a phone call.

[D]

Well, phone call once a month.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Right. At the end of 12 months, I would have connected with all of my. With, with 12 of my friends.

[A]

Yeah, I like that. I think that's, that makes sense of like. Yeah. Cuz again, like, that's the. That's a thing I'm constantly running, like, run into. I'm noticing, like, people are like, should I feel bad about not wanting this certain thing? But I think it. Yeah, it's like, what's the smart thing to do? Is a good way to think about it. And it's like, well, yeah, the smart thing. I mean, humans. Humans, you know, are biologically wired to be able to connect with each other. So I'm, I'm with that. That's. That's. I'll. I'll piggyback off of that. I think that's a good way to respond to Chris is that, you know, it seems like what he wants to do is like, you know, he rarely wants to do. He rarely wants to do anything. He probably just wants to chill. But the smart thing to do is to stay connected. And it's better if he listens to this. I hope he. He comes away with it. That it's at least better to think in those terms than the terms of like, am I a bad friend or a good friend? Because.

[D]

Yeah, that doesn't get you anywhere.

[A]

So. Okay, let's see here. Let's talk to. Oh, okay, this is, this is. This is kind of. This is kind of on the subject of the things that we were talking about. So let's talk about this. Okay. This is from Madison, the subject line. Everyone around me is ready for the end of the world. Hi, Lyle. I have two very close individuals in my life that have been anticipating a collapse, a decline, a notion that essentially the end of the world as we know it is on the horizon. I graduated college last April with a very ambitious degree. I'm sure you can empathize. Oh, she wrote ambitious in quotes.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And she wrote with a very quote, unquote ambitious degree. I'm sure you can emphasize. I'm sure you can empathize. I got a degree in acting.

[D]

Oh, awesome. How exciting.

[A]

They. I think she wrote that because I've talked on here about getting a degree in Film and Media Arts. Okay. And I've consistently lambasted it. Okay. Because. Well, we can go on a quick tangent, but I consistently lambasted it because to me, I'm like, you know, I mean, I'm lucky I have good parents that you know, helped me go to school. But it's like, you know, there's a lot of people I went to school with. Like, you know, they went. They had to go into crazy debt. And I'm like. And I'm like. And I'm like, every time I talk to some about this, I'm like, if you can. If like, you can afford it via, like a scholarship or something, then like, it's a good. It's a good move. But like, if, you know, if you have to go into debt to it to do it, it's kind of tough. But. All right, well, I'll keep reading.

[D]

But all right, but you know what? She's asking two questions. In my opinion. That's what I'm hearing. I'm hearing two questions from Addison.

[A]

Wait, wait, hold on. Let's. Okay, let's read the whole.

[D]

Maybe there are more than to the two questions.

[A]

Okay, let's read the whole email. Oh, I. That's my fault. We went on a tangent. Okay. Naive, probably, but I believed in my ability. Once arriving at college, I was made abundantly aware that no amount of ability or passion will ever trump how you look in this industry. At least that's what was made clear to me at a collegiate level.

[D]

Oh, my God. I now have three things. Remind me I've got three. 3 comments on this email already.

[A]

We're not even a fifth of the way done this email. But I'll remind you, I give you this context because I think it's really important to know. I'm already holding the weight of pursuing something with one in a million chances that you can't even really work linearly towards. I'm not someone's notable kid. I'm not coming from a hoard of wealth. I just have a lot of love and passion for this craft. As 2025 continued, the state of our world declined in a seemingly rapid way. I don't want to sit here and rattle off bullet points of what I mean, because we all lived through it, but the takeaway is that the priorities for people in power are now clear. It's inarguable. With all of that said, over those past few months, conversations with my mother and my boyfriend have become increasingly centered around the idea of things are coming to a head, whether it be a strong. Whether it be a string of regurgitated tweets pointing out what Big Satan and Little Satan are getting up to, or a lecture on how we will manage amongst the apocalyptic state of the world. I'm not exactly sure how to articulate the Feeling I've been experiencing when I. But it's exhausting me. I'm being told the world is going to end and shown fact time and time again to support this prediction. And I always. And I've been shown, quote, unquote, fact. So another. Another satirically said fact time and time again to support this prediction. And every time I tell my mother and my boyfriend the same thing. Lyle, I don't. No. I have no clue what's happening behind the curtain. I have no clue what's happening at the echelon stories above me high in the. In the. You know, with people in power and whatnot. I'm among the rest of the 99.9% of people just trying to survive and fight off such suffocating feelings of helplessness. I'm tired. Things feel bleak. I'm still in pursuit of my ambitions in independent filmmaking. My friend and I had a short film of ours become internationally award winning.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Pretty good. And I'm still out.

[D]

That's awesome.

[A]

And I'm still out here auditioning. But I am stuck in this push and pull of going for something that I've been dreaming of since I was a child or letting go of how I saw my life going and accepting that the world I envisioned living in no longer exists. Because I may be naive enough to pursue something like this for a living, but I'm not naive enough to admit the interests and the lives of the American people, or the people of the world for that matter, do not take priority in the minds of those who are responsible for them. Okay, hold on. We're so close to being done with the end of the email, but it is interesting because I'm like, oh, I have so many.

[D]

I have so many things to say about this email.

[A]

And on that note, I leave you with goodbye. Thanks for everything you do, Lyle. You make my job less grueling and my confidence in my live life despite philosophy much stronger. Stacy. Thank you, Stacy. I appreciate that.

[D]

I thought that was Madison.

[A]

Oh, okay. Sometimes they give me fake names and then I. I read. What the. We'll call her Stacy. Let's call her Stacy.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. This is. That's. That's Stacy's email.

[D]

So first of all, this touches upon some of the things we've already discussed.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of them. Yeah.

[D]

All right. Stacey slash Madison. You cannot control the end of the world.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

All right. So stop worrying about it. Treat that general undercurrent that you perceive as being irrelevant to your life. All right? Because you know what? I bet you there Are like millions, if not billions of people around the world who are literally starving to death, who are not thinking about the end of the world.

[A]

It is true. It is true to think about. It is true to think about that. Yes.

[D]

Right?

[A]

That is correct. Yes.

[D]

So, you know, it's not a thing you can control, so it's not going to be easy if you've kind of allowed it to kind of crawl under your skin and percolate in your brain, but let it work at letting that go. Like, whatever you want to go on ChatGPT or Gemini and say, how do I let go of my anxiety about the end of the world? Do that. Do that. I mean, it does.

[A]

My dad and I have been talking a lot about the AI wars and whatnot, but go ahead.

[D]

So whatever you need to do to try to, you know, let go of that anxiety, I would urge you to do. All right, so that's. That's the first thing. The second thing is. So you want to be an actress. That's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. There's so many opportunities for people to be actors and actresses.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

You know, and just, you know, you've been passionate about, like, you've answered the first question, what do I want to do?

[A]

She answered, what do I want to do?

[D]

That's the hardest question to answer.

[A]

And then what's the smart thing to do? I think she's doing the smart thing to. Smart thing to do, which is that she's making stuff and she's auditioning.

[D]

100% agree. Keep going on auditions. Keep making the short films. You know, whatever you have to do, just keep doing it. Now I'm going to come up to the third thing, and I'm a little uncomfortable talking about this because we don't know Stacey slash Madison. We don't know what she looks like. We don't know anything about her.

[A]

Sure, sure. We know the thing about her saying that she wasn't attractive enough to be. That's right. Yeah. Okay.

[D]

First of all, it is really valuable to have an accurate sense of yourself in the world.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Right. And we talked about that. So that you can lean into your strengths.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Now, I have noticed that in every film where there's a female lead.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

All right. Who has friends. Those friends are never as attractive as the lead.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Sure. There's there. What you're saying. And it's like if you. There is space for actors and actresses of all levels of attractiveness to exist in the. In the. In roles. Yes, that's right. Of course.

[D]

And anything that you think is a weakness, strength. There are so many people that we might think of as, you know, not being the most attractive yet. Have careers.

[A]

Of course.

[D]

Have great careers.

[A]

Yeah, like a. Whatever. Jack Black or.

[D]

Well, you know what, in fairness, let's, let's not be dishonest to Stacy.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

All right. Looks mean different things for men than it does for women.

[A]

Yeah, it's a fair assessment, of course. Yeah.

[D]

So I get that. But, you know, and, and I'm not going to name names because, you know, whatever, but there are plenty of women who we do not think of as being particularly conventionally. Conventionally attractive who've got great careers. Great careers. And you know, another thing about being in the arts is a great career just means you're working.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[D]

That's all it really means.

[A]

Of course.

[D]

You know, so there's going to be tons of opportunities. Stacy slash Madison. Hang in there. I'm sorry, Lyle, for totally co opting.

[A]

Please, please.

[D]

Your podcast.

[A]

No, please.

[D]

But I think you're doing all the right things and, and I urge you to do whatever you need to do to let go of that end of days anxiety.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, like, like it's, it's interesting that, that she, she mentioned all this stuff because, like, we were talking about before. I think a lot of people are having this like, end of, end of days feeling. No, I, I echo, I echo the sentiments that, that my dad said of like, you know, you'll be able to find your own. Yeah, like having, having, having some awareness of like how you come off, like weaknesses can become strengths. I believe that 100%. So I don't think you should look at your. She keeps saying she's naive. I would take that out of the vocabulary. I don't think she needs to. I don't think she's naive.

[D]

It doesn't help her to, to believe that.

[A]

Yeah, it doesn't help.

[C]

That's.

[D]

And that's a good technique, by the way, when you start having destructive self thoughts.

[A]

Yeah. Well, how do you. So how do you. I don't know if we ever. I don't know if we talked about this, but. Okay. Yeah, you were talking about how you have them every day.

[D]

Every day.

[A]

How do you deal with your destructive self thoughts?

[D]

I say to myself, what's the benefit of that thought?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And then if, if I can't find one. Well, all right, so let's, let's try to be a little bit, you know, kind of harsh. What's the benefit of that thought? Well, one of your answers could be. Well, I'm being honest with myself. Okay. You want to be honest with yourself that you're being naive. How do you use that, how do you use that new information? Do you use it to let go of your dream? Okay. I mean, you're gonna, you can let go of your dream every day. You'll have that opportunity every day.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, and you know, I admire Stacy slash Madison because she's doing a hard thing.

[A]

Totally.

[D]

You know, but it's a doable thing. Of course it's a doable thing.

[A]

No, I, I think, I think that's true. I'm always trying to be like, yeah, with my distract, my, my destructive thoughts. I always. I got, I got to start. I got to start attacking them more. I've been letting them off the hook. I've been letting them run, run loose. I got to start thinking more about logically. How is this helping me?

[D]

Right.

[A]

I was on an airplane once and I was thinking like, the only, the only things I'll ever. Like, they're, they're like inevitability of like just having a, you know, being an emotional human being. But I'm like, the only thing, like when I'm dying, the only thing I'll ever really regret is like, time I spent worrying or like times I was like a dick to someone because I was being impulsive or whatever. Those are the main things I'll regret.

[D]

You know, people ask me, do you regret anything?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And I tell them, oh, I have tons of regrets. But my biggest regrets are any times I have been unkind.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Hmm.

[B]

The NFL playoffs are here, and wild card weekend powered by Verizon is almost through, man.

[A]

It all comes comes down to this.

[B]

The stakes are high, hopes are higher, and everything is on the line.

[D]

My goodness.

[B]

It's win or go home and every moment counts. On the road to Super Bowl 60, it's a touchdown Wild card weekend powered by Verizon. Tomorrow at 8pm Eastern. Visit watch.NFL.com for the full schedule.

[C]

Support for the show comes from public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back Test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like EFTs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member finra SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures well, the holidays have come and gone once.

[A]

Again, but if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life a.

[C]

Gift, well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless.

[A]

So here's the idea.

[C]

You get it now, you call it.

[A]

An early present for next year. What do you have to lose? Give it a [e-mail] switch limited time 50% off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 month or $180 for 2012 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy. See Terms.

[D]

By the way, while, while you're kind of looking or not, I, I have kind of an observation about something that colors how to respond to some of of these emails, please. Which is, you know, when you started this, you were what, like 22?

[A]

Yeah, I was 22.

[D]

And you would just, you know, and you know, and now here we are six years later.

[A]

Yeah, it's kind of crazy.

[D]

Okay, you're 28.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Now, I don't know. I. Look, you have a significant number of people who have been listening to you from the start. All right. And responses that I would give to somebody who's 22 years old are different than responses I would give to somebody who's 28 years old.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Potentially.

[A]

Yeah. Same.

[D]

I think I look technically a person who's 22 years old is an adult and they have agency and they can move around the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But you know, every year that passes, you have a little bit more experience. It colors your view of things. So by the time you're 28, you, you know, those six years of life experience are night and day.

[A]

And you know what's funny is I like, I'll watch some of the older episodes of the podcast and I was, I think actually you would think the opposite would be true. But I was much more. Well, when the fuck I first started, I was a little. I think I leaned more into the. What? Like, I've been more sure. I was more sure of myself, I think, when I was doing this podcast in my early 20s, then in my late 20s, because I. The more life experience I've lived, I've actually come to realize the. The. The less I know, which. Which makes sense to me. Sure. Because, you know, whatever you grow up and you have, you know, the more. Yeah, the more things I experience, the less I feel like I have any grasp on the planet. You know, I don't know if. Do you feel that way or do you feel the opposite?

[D]

No, no, I very much feel that way. That, you know, the older you get, the more you see, the more you realize what you don't know.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[D]

And. And that impacts how you view the world.

[A]

Oh, you know, what do you want to have? Do you want to have? We could talk about that. This is a relevant thing. We were talking about this. Oh, so we've been talking about AI. Like, you use. You. You talk to ChatGPT all the time.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

And I've used it before for, like, therapy stuff, and I. And it's. It's contra. It's controversial. You. You're aware of the reasons why it's, like, controversial.

[D]

There are good reasons for it to be controversial.

[A]

You know, about, like, it using energy and, you know, the general fear that people have about.

[D]

Yout know, being replaced.

[A]

Being replaced, and it being in control of people and whatnot. But I don't kind of like social media, like, it's just become a thing where, like, I just. You. I just use it for, like, everything I talk to it about, and I use it for. I don't. Not. I don't do this that much anymore, but I had a little period of time where, like, I. I really needed to just, like, externalize some shit. Okay. And AI was really. It was helpful for that.

[D]

Like a mirror.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So. Okay, so this is from Josh. Subject line. ChatGPT therapy changed my life. Greetings, Geck. I wanted to call in, but I'm from England, so I don't know how to do that. I wanted to talk about how ChatGPT therapy changed my life. I've heard you talk about it, and I got around to it by accident. I took a photo of my daily journal entry after I had a really bad day, and I uploaded it to ChatGPT and said, Analyze this journal entry. It came back and told me what I was living with was not exactly anxiety like I had assumed, but that I had a hyper vigilant nervous system. I had never heard of this and was very skeptical as I know that AI just throws back what you say to it. So I asked it how this hyper vigilant nervous system generally affects people's lives. Without any prompts or insight into my life, it came back and accurately described exactly the way that I am in every aspect of my life. Helpfully, it explains that this can be treated without medication. See, this goes back to what an.

[D]

Awesome outcome for $21 a month.

[A]

I swear on my life this is not an ad for Chat GPT, but it is funny that we, because we talked, I mean, at the very beginning of this, we talked about self knowledge and having, you know, positive applications. Helpfully, it explains that this can be treated without medication, but through cognitive behavioral therapy. It felt like a huge weight off my shoulders to hear that what I deal with is real and I'm not just crazy. It was more helpful than any therapist I ever spoke to in the past. And I'm about to start real therapy and I'm already starting to see improvements in my life by following the advice that AI gave me. Thanks for the suggestion to try that. I've been listening since 2020 and I saw you live in Manchester, England a few years ago. Hell yeah. Thank you, Josh. Keep on gecking. You know, it's hard. The AI stuff is hard, man, because like, like, I don't like, I've it, It's hard because I personally have like done what Josh is talking about doing. Like, I've like copy and pasted my journal and like my, I have a friend who says that like talking to Chat GPT or like an AI thing is like, it's like journaling squared. It's like I'm journaling, but things are getting reflected back at me. I'm still, I'm not fully externalizing it to another human being. But like, you know, it's hard because there's like we're entering this fucking weird new thing where like, you know, there should be boundaries in place and stuff. But I, but I've experienced, but I have experienced what Josh has experienced where I've externalized something into like an AI thing and it spat it back out, spat something back out at me where I'm like, oh fuck, that's like true, you know, But I, I, I hate chat. I, I use again, this, I'm not, there's no, this is not a sponsored thing. This is just life. But I've Been using Gemini more because I fucking. I fucking hate ChatGPT now. Because it just like. Like, I'll ask it something, it'll be like, good question. And I'm like, don't. I don't need you to tell me this is a good question. Like, I hate when it. And also, like, I hate. Not. Not only do I hate that itself, but I hate what that implies about the people making it.

[D]

Have you tried explaining to ChatGPT that. That you don't need that kind of hand holding and that ChatGPT's responses can be a little bit more to the point and matter of fact, I know.

[A]

That we were talking last night. I know that you've done that.

[D]

I have.

[A]

And it responded yes. By hand holding.

[D]

You know what? I didn't say that that way. No, I had a different thing, because this is just so interesting. First of all, what's the name of this gentleman who wrote it?

[A]

Josh.

[D]

First of all, Josh, I am so happy for you that you had this outcome. What a great outcome to have, you know, so, you know, it's very. When I'm pounding the keys on or my keyboard on my phone with ChatGPT, I have to remind myself, this is only code.

[A]

Exactly.

[D]

I'm only talking to some really brilliantly compiled code.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Right. So. And that's good for me. Maybe. Maybe that's not a good thing for Josh to consider because, you know, because he did apparently have such a good outcome. But for me, it's helpful to keep that in mind.

[A]

Of course. Yeah.

[D]

You know, I. I love CHAT GPT. And here's a very, very funny feeling I had recently.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So, you know, ChatGPT is always telling you, like, good for you to spot that mistake that I made.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Or.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. You're really passionate about this.

[D]

Or you're really thinking about things exactly the right way when you're considering how to approach that hole on your home golf course.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Or yes. Yes. Good. You know. Yes. You should simplify your home studio recording setup. And. And that. That's such a smart move on your part.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right. And. And you know what? I'm a human.

[A]

You know, you get a little hit.

[D]

I get.

[A]

You get a little hit. Yeah. Yeah, you do. Yeah. You get a little hit.

[D]

Then I was reading I really am smart.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

My wife's interactions with Chachi.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And they were the same.

[A]

I know.

[D]

Saying, you are so smart.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And this is such a clever thing.

[A]

It's. This is a tragic story. You realize that you weren't special, and I Felt.

[D]

Felt a little jealous. I did.

[A]

That's. I'm. That's a sad story. Well, yeah, no, it's. It's.

[D]

And that's when I had to remember, Uhhuh. This is just brilliantly compiled code.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

That's all it is.

[A]

Yes. So I would say off of that, be that, like, it is really helpful to have. Like. Like. Because he said it can't without any prompts or insight into my life. It described exactly the way I am in every aspect of my life. Like. Like, it is helpful, but I guess also remembering that, you know, it will try to tell you that you're amazing. And, you know, maybe you are amazing, but it's. It's. You got to keep in mind, it's.

[D]

Telling everyone that Josh is amazing. Okay.

[A]

Any.

[D]

Any. In my opinion as a dad, anybody who is a fan of my son is amazing.

[A]

It's really sweet, dad. All right, so that's really nice.

[D]

I will never question or. Or, you know, try to lessen Josh's experience with ChatGPT.

[A]

Well, I'm glad that he's. He's getting. He's getting some good help into things. Let's. Let's do a few more. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I have a few more that I think. All right, well. All right. We can get into this. I don't know what. All right. Okay. This is from Xeno subject line. I developed an unwanted foot fetish.

[D]

Hey, why is it unwanted?

[A]

Hey, hey, hey, Geck. All is well. Oh, hey, Geck. Hope all is well. I'll get straight into it. I have developed a foot fetish from being bombarded with foot fetish shame slash media throughout my years. Since everyone talks online about feet, I have discovered I pay way more attention to feet than I'd like to. Anytime I see toes or feet, my eyes are automatically drawn to them. I am still unsure whether or not I enjoy looking at them. That's the whole email.

[D]

Do we have. Who's it from?

[A]

Zeno. Zeno, yeah.

[D]

Do we believe Zeno or do we think this is just a gag email?

[A]

I. Well, I. Well, well, you know, that's. You know, you bring up an important thing for this show in general. Sometimes people call me or email me, and sometimes they're. They. Sometimes they can be gag emails or phone calls. But the way I see it is I don't think this is a gag. Okay, well, a. I don't think this is a gag, but even if it was a gag, perhaps somebody listening has this feeling and it's not a gag, so might as well, you know, approach it like it's not a gag, because.

[D]

All right, let's approach it like it's not a gag.

[A]

Okay. Yes.

[D]

All right, first of all, Zeno, congratulations on identifying something that excites you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Right. Which is.

[D]

And something that's really not destructive to yourself or to others.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Right. Second of all, look, if you're a. If you're a boob guy or butt guy or whatnot, I mean, you're looking at people's private parts.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That can be embarrassing. You know, but looking at people's feet.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Very seldom are you going to have, like, hashtag, me too problem.

[A]

Just.

[D]

Just by checking out someone's very nice pedicure.

[A]

Okay, so what you're. Okay, so what you're saying is that, like, if Zeno were just, like, into. Into. Into breasts and he. He has a. He might be, like, having a conversation with someone and looking at their boobs, and that would be. That would be offensive. But it's better that he now, like, he. He won't offend anyone by looking at their feet.

[D]

It's a less dangerous kind of activity. And by the way, I don't think there are hundreds of thousands of people who have a foot fetish. I don't think there are millions of people with a foot fetish.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I think there are maybe hundreds of millions of people with a foot fetish, probably.

[A]

I mean, there's. It's. You know, there are. There's a lot of foot fetish stuff.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That exists.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think. Yeah. I don't think that Zeno needs to be ashamed of his foot fetish. You know, I'm with you. I think. I think he found something that is exciting.

[D]

But look, if you have. If you're out here listening and you have a boob fetish or a butt fetish, I'm not judging you.

[A]

I don't.

[D]

I think that those are perfectly legitimate things to have. I.

[A]

You know, I don't. Being into boobs or butts, I don't think is. I don't think there is such a thing as a boob fetish.

[D]

No. Because it's so mean.

[A]

Because it's so mainstream. I don't think you could call it a fetish, but, you know, Congratulations to you, Zeno, on what you have discovered.

[B]

The NFL playoffs are here, and Wild card weekend, powered by Verizon, is almost through, man. It all comes down to this. The stakes are high, hopes are higher, and everything is on the line.

[D]

My goodness.

[B]

It's win or go. Home and every moment counts on the road to Super Bowl 60. It's a touchdown wild card weekend powered by Verizon tomorrow at 8pm Eastern. Visit watch.NFL.com for the full schedule.

[C]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like EFTs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures well, the holidays have come and gone once.

[A]

Again, but if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life a gift.

[C]

Well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless.

[A]

So here's the idea. You get it now. You call it an early present for next year. What do you have to lose? Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time 50% off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy see terms. Oh here's one. Here's a good one. Okay. Oh this is a perfect one. All right. This is from Dylan Subject I don't want to be an old dad. What's up Geck? I am DK. I am 29 years old and I have been extremely single for almost six years after having only one long term relationship in my early twenties. When I say extremely single I mean no action whatsoever for a couple of years. It was by my own choice, but for the last few years I've been very open to a relationship but have had no luck. I go out to bars, concerts, events with my group of friends. Often I work downtown in my city in a very busy building with lots of people. I'm on Hinge Tinder and in general I'm a very normal looking dude. Potentially an 8 on a good day.

[D]

You know what, Regardless of the objective aspect of it, the fact that DK believes that he's an 8, that's good. Big thumbs up.

[A]

Big thumbs up. He said potentially an 8 on a good day, maybe even higher. I think I'm pretty good looking, so my confidence is solid. There is no incel energy here, I promise. I have many theories as to why nothing has happened for me all this time. Part of me feels like God, the universe simply didn't think I was mentally ready to commit to a relationship. I wouldn't present the opportunity until I was. Maybe I'm still not. I think I am. But maybe I still need to grow. I definitely haven't been perfect. Perhaps the city I live in is dry in general and I need to broaden my horizons elsewhere, expand my distance range on the apps. But I hate the idea of anything long distance. My love language is physical touch. So long distance never interest me.

[D]

Every man's love language is physical touch. And I think there are good reasons for that.

[A]

I do. What do you think are the good, good reasons for that?

[D]

You know, women have touch. Women, they meet up with someone, they're hugging them. You know, you see young women and girls walking hand in hand with each other.

[A]

Sure. Yeah, that makes sense.

[D]

In a totally non sexual way.

[A]

That makes sense.

[D]

Right. So women have touch, that makes sense. Men don't have touch.

[A]

That makes sense.

[D]

I've got a very small handful of male friends and family who I'll hug when I greet them. Because, because I think touch is really important.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

But for the most part men don't have physical touch in their lives.

[A]

Sure, sure, sure.

[D]

So in their relationships, it's an incredibly valuable thing.

[A]

I think men, I think men should be, you know, when I was in. It's funny, it's like this is like a Middle Eastern thing. Maybe I don't, maybe I'm completely making this up. But like when I was in Iraq, I would see a lot more like, like, like men, like touching. Like men expressing like non sexual physical touch with each other was like a lot more.

[D]

I, I noticed that in that, in that video.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

That's nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right.

[A]

But, so hold on, let me finish the email. So perhaps I'm too shy and I need to try talking in person more or putting myself out there more. But I think deep down I have the answer. I am just too picky. I've had women and men come on to me, give me hints over the years, but I've never reciprocated the attraction. So I back out or I reject them respectfully. I let my tastes overtake my ability to have experience. I've never had a person that is my type show interest in me. So it's just a constant chase and a constant pushback onto those that are interested in me. The problem is, the real problem is that I want to have a kid badly. And I have always wanted to be a younger parent. Next year I turn 30 and while yes, there is plenty of time and this is something that I 100% should not rush, having a whole ass kid, the thought of having a kid at 35 and being damn near 60 by the time they're potentially starting college, I hate it. I hate that thought. At least 29 year old me hates that thought. 31 year old me might not. If one of my day one best friend. Oh, one of my day one best friends is getting married next year and that's just crazy to me. A couple other childhood friends had kids years ago and those fuckers are in kindergarten now. I slightly envy them. But also I've had a pretty good single life, really good friends and family and work life. So I don't think I have that much that I can really complain about. And I hate to complain. This email has been long enough and this has been a rant to the geck man. I feel like the young parent dream is dead. And yeah, I can't get that time back. But it's so tough to find a let's have a child type of connection where I live. And so I'm so picky.

[D]

What's this person's name?

[A]

Dk.

[D]

Oh, this is dk.

[A]

This is dk.

[D]

Okay. You know, I'm the perfect person to respond to this.

[A]

Yeah, you are. You. Yeah.

[D]

You know, because I was 33 when I married your mom. We had Chloe when I was what, like 35? She was. I was 35 when we had Chloe. I was 37 when we had you. And I've never. But you know what, I had a similar anxiety as you did.

[A]

You did?

[D]

Earlier on in my life.

[A]

Really? Tell it, tell us all about.

[D]

Because you know, I like I had friends who got married and had children in their 20s. So you know, I was feeling a little left behind, you know, but you know, I had kids and I've. And I've never felt like I was too old to enjoy being a parent to my kids or to have meaningful parenting or meaningful relationship with my kids. So I think TK is going to be fine no matter what. And the whole concept of being picky is really interesting. You know, listen, forgetting the whole concept of settling versus non settling.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I think a destructive way to look at it.

[A]

Please tell me more.

[D]

You know, I. You know, we. We make choices. Yeah, we make choices.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And sometimes we discover that the choices that we made don't really serve us in a way that we kind of would like. And so we have to kind of decide to make different choices. And sometimes that's painful, and sometimes that's ugly. I mean, so, you know, I really hear DK and DK's song, we'll call it the DK song, is a common song, of course. You know, it's basically the song of a person, you know, seeking love.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

In the world. Love and connection in the world. And how frustrating it is to find that. And I think it's always been frustrating to find that. And if we want to go back and say, well, what about the 1940s and 50s and, you know, when people would, you know, marry somebody from their neighborhood and, you know, be with them forever.

[A]

You know, what's funny is I'm always. I think about that a lot. I mean, I talk about it on the podcast. I think about it a lot. Is like, we lit. Like, there's two. It's so different. Dating now versus, like, in the 40s, where it used to be like. It used to be like. Yeah, like, in the 40s, it was like, you know, and many parts of the world, it's like, okay, you grow up across the street from someone, and then you get married, and then you fucking make it work. You know, you just make it work. Versus, Versus what we have now, where it's like infinite options. You know, if something doesn't work out or the first time, there's a little snag or whatever. Like infinite. Infinite everything. Here's everyone that exists on the planet Earth, and you have this kind of, like, illusion or, like a paradox of choice. And it's like both kind of. Both of those. Operations, I don't know how you would say, but both. Both of those have their own pros and cons, you know?

[D]

You know, it's just very hard. Relationships are extremely hard. I mean, even when they're going well, they're hard. You know, I, like. I'm super happy in my marriage right now. And things are going really well for us, but, you know, you still have to compromise. There are still things you have to say no to yourself about, and I don't have to get into them. And so relationships are just really hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, no matter what.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So I'm sympathetic to DK for wanting to have a certain kind of person. And here's another thing. I love when people come up with, like, rules or generalizations. And I want to say, hey, you know, there's so. So somebody was talking about, you know, needing. Needing to write the ship for our country.

[A]

And I said, right, the ship.

[D]

Right, the ship. The country needs to write the ship.

[A]

Okay. America needs to write the ship.

[D]

Right. And I said to this person, I said, there is no ship. There's 330 million ships in a very crowded ocean. Of course, you know, and every ship is going in the direction of its captain way.

[A]

I agree with this sentiment, but also, how do you. How do you relate that to.

[D]

So let's go talk about dk.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, like, there's no rules for how you should have a relationship or you should decide to have a relationship with.

[A]

Yeah. I'm learning that myself, too, as I'm, like, observing the relationships of, like, all the people around me. And I'm really. And I'm. And I'm realizing, oh, there is no right or wrong model of what a relation. I mean, there's. Yeah, there's some wrong models for what a relationship might look like.

[D]

That's for sure.

[A]

That's for sure. But there is no. There's. You know, barring the extremes, there's no right or wrong model for what a relationship looks like. I'm learning.

[D]

And you know what? Look, I. I married Lyle's mom, and, you know, we had two children, we had a home, we built a lot of things, and it turned out not to really be the right thing for me. And I dated a whole bunch. And finally, when I was, like, 48, 49, I met my wife, who. We have a very satisfying relationship. So nobody. Nobody who's 28 or 29 wants to hear that I gotta wait until I'm 49 to have a relationship that makes me happy. But just bear in mind that when whatever relationships you have during your life will be hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Because. Because the human beings are extremely complex creatures.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And the notion that two extremely complex creatures can get together and enjoy perfect harmony is, I think, unrealistic. Not that it can't happen. I just think it's really hard.

[A]

No, I know. What you mean? I'm. I'm. No, I'm realizing that about. Yeah, I'm realizing that, like, life just can't, like, it just fucking. It just can't come to you, like, a la carte, you know, it just really.

[D]

I don't know what that means.

[A]

I look like. Well, it's like. Like you can't, like, pick and choose your favorite aspects of what you want in a partner and have it, you know, a la carte.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

And that. But you have to. You have to just, like, take it as it is and, you know, the bad and the good, like, you can't. You can have to deal with it, but it's hard because people. I think people want, like, a idealistic version of their existences.

[D]

Everybody wants love.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And everybody wants to have, you know, just so very happy domestic life.

[A]

What was you said earlier you were, like, doing away with the idea of settling or, like, what. Why do you think that? I guess you kind of explained it. Yeah. The. The idea of, like, there is no settling or ascribing to, like, it's all just like a kind of complex amalgamation of human beings attempting to coexist with each other, which is inherently difficult.

[D]

Another thing is, look, when you're. And this goes back to one of the things I was saying earlier. You know, the conversation I'll have with someone who's 22 is very different than the conversation I'll have with someone who's 28. And not because the person who's 28 is smarter or more capable than the person who's 22. It's just that, having gone through different experiences in their lives, they perceive things differently and they express themselves differently.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[D]

And, you know. And you know, a person that you might see when you're 32 if you had, maybe you had not been attracted to or found that person compelling earlier in your life, but later, your maturity will have changed and developed. Your perspective on the world will be different. And so you may perceive qualities in this person in your 30s that you missed in your 20s because you just weren't ready to. To perceive that. So, you know, you look on social media, I love looking at, like, I read threads, and I read X. Yeah. And X depresses me. And threads is basically just like, you know, there's troubled relationships.

[A]

X and threads are filled with two different types of very, extremely insane people.

[D]

True.

[A]

Yes, true.

[D]

You know, so, you know, I feel for DK.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Because I've kind of been where DK is. I've never thought of myself as an 8 or higher. But, you know, it's not just looks, I think, to a very limited kind of woman. I'm a 10. All right.

[A]

And sure.

[D]

And fortunately, I married one of you.

[A]

Fortunately, you were able to find a. Yeah, right. Yeah.

[D]

So you know that.

[A]

And you could say that about a lot. There's a lot of people and maybe most people, it's like, listen to a very limited amount of people. Whoever you are, you're a 10. Yeah, there was a. There's a. There's a woman who called into the show, might have been last episode or a couple episodes ago. I don't know where she was talking about how she, like, went. She, like, grew up on an army base with this kid when she was like, they were like in fifth grade, so, like 10 years old, and they were like, good friends. And then they both moved away and like nine years later, she, like, found him on. She was. She was like. She didn't just like, oh, oh, look, here he is on Facebook. Like, she went, like, looking for it. Like, she went to, like, find a certain really, like, search through a bunch of profiles and whatever, and she finally found him. And then they, like, met up again. And then they got together and they started dating. And I asked her, I was like, do you think, like, what would you have done if you didn't find him, like, attractive after all these years? And she was like, you know, even if he. Even if he came out chopped. You know what chopped means? No, Chopped means. Chopped is another way of saying ugly. Oh. Like, if someone's chopped, they're ugly. So she was like, even if he came out chopped, I would love him anyway because just the person he is. So to her, he's a. He's a 10. So, yeah, I guess you gotta find whoever.

[D]

You know, there's a great book that. That articulates this concept in a slightly different way.

[A]

What's the book?

[D]

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And I would urge your listeners.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

To ask Chachi PT to give them somewhere between a 1000 and 5000 word summary of the book.

[A]

Or they could read the book.

[D]

I presume that nobody's going to read the book.

[A]

You know what? You know what? I. You know what? I. Hold on. Actually, I. I want to. I want to analyze what I just did because it was a really. It was a really asshole thing to do, what I just did. I want to.

[D]

Let me.

[A]

I'm gonna take a second to analyze what. I just think it's a really asshole thing that I Just did. Because I'm gonna go. I'm gonna. I'm gonna ask AI to give me a summary of that book. Now, there's nothing. There's no way I'm gonna read the book.

[D]

Right?

[A]

But if I. But if I ask for a summary of the book, I'll at least know what the book was.

[D]

I'm not. I'm not.

[A]

I just shot it down immediately because.

[D]

No, no, the great thing is, first of all, if you're gonna use CHAT to ask you to write what ChatGPT is going to do, it has not read the book. Yeah, it has not read.

[A]

I know we don't, but.

[D]

And I've learned that the hard way.

[A]

I know. Through my.

[D]

My prompts.

[A]

I know. My dad. My dad was asking. We don't have to keep talking about ChatGPT. My dad. My dad was asking ChatGPT to summarize, like, an episode of the show Pluribus to him, right? And it tried. And then my dad got into an argument with Chatgpt because he was like, you don't. You haven't really seen this show, have you? And the. ChatGPT was like, yeah, you're right. But it's. Anyway, can I. What's the. What's the. What's the. My father's summary of the book.

[D]

Well, I don't want. I don't want spoilers. I don't want to make a spoiler.

[A]

But, but wait, hold on, hold on.

[D]

Let Chat GPT give this.

[A]

But that's so stupid.

[D]

It's not.

[A]

It's not.

[D]

Look, we're talking about.

[A]

If you're listening, can I just. If you're not going to read the book, right? If you're not going to read the book, why. I don't. We can't live in a universe where we're extending spoiler cautions to AI summaries of media.

[D]

All right, let's.

[A]

If you're going to. If you're not going to read the book and you're just going to summarize it with AI, then I don't. Then you're not. Then I don't think you should be entitled to a spoiler warning.

[D]

I'm not asking your listeners to read the book. I'm asking your listeners to consume the story.

[A]

Okay, I get what. I get what you're saying.

[D]

They're hugely different, but an important distinction.

[A]

It's like if someone was like. It's like if someone wanted to talk to you about a movie, and then you're like. It's like if you Were like, like, oh, have you seen Marty Supreme? And you're like, oh, I haven't yet. But don't. Don't tell me how it ends, because I'm gonna read the Wikipedia synopsis of it.

[D]

I know it sounds stupid, but that's.

[A]

Exactly what you're saying.

[D]

But it's still a legitimate sentiment.

[A]

You know what? In my gut. And I'm gonna be fair to you, and I'm gonna be fair, because you know what? In my gut, I kind of agree with you. We will. We can. We can end soon. I know we have to go soon. In my gut, I kind of agree with you, but I. But I. But also, I kind of. I. If. If you care about spoilers. But in my gut, I see. It's not that I agree with you. I see what you mean. But if you care enough about spoilers for this piece of media like you also, you should read it.

[D]

I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to give you. I was gonna say gonna end, but I don't know. We'll end it when you think we should end it.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

With a statement that summarizes why I even brought up that book in the first place.

[A]

Okay, let's do that.

[D]

Yeah. Which is that satisfying love is worth waiting for.

[A]

You know what? I think that's. I think that's true. I hope that's true. Dating is for people who are lucky or patient is what they say. So if you're one of those two things, you'll succeed. Or if you're fucking ripped. I still believe that. I still believe that. People tell me that, but I still. People tell me that's not true, but I still believe it.

[D]

It means you'll have more sex. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll find love.

[A]

But the but first. But for somebody to love. I mean, barring in most relationships. I'm going to go ahead and say, in most relationships, somebody has to want to have sex with you to love you.

[D]

Not all in the conventional sense of.

[A]

In the conventional sense of love.

[D]

Relationships.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That involves a sexual.

[A]

That involve a sexual component, but it doesn't always. That's true. No, I agree. That's not true. It's not always. Well, Dad, I appreciate you doing this podcast with me. I'm glad I asked you to do it.

[D]

Yeah. This is much more fun than a nap. But, you know, and apps are fun.

[A]

What did you. Did you. Do you have any major takeaways from the experience?

[D]

You know, I. I really. I like your listeners. I like the emails, they were, they were thoughtful and you know, I have a major criticism of my peers.

[A]

Of your peers.

[D]

My peers.

[A]

But your. Can you define your peers real quick?

[D]

Boomers.

[A]

Okay, go ahead. People around my age give us your major criticism.

[D]

I think they unfairly diminish the, the strengths of the younger generations. You know, I don't think the younger generations get nearly enough credit from my peers for having intelligence, for having sensitivity, for having thoughtfulness, and for contributing to the world.

[A]

Beautiful. Well, thank you, Dad. I appreciate you doing this.

[D]

Well, thank you so much for having me. I had a great time and you know, I look forward to reading the comments and asking why my head is not red.

[A]

This has been the Therapy Gecko podcast. Thank you for listening and I will be. I will be back in a few days with another episode. Geck, bless. See you around. Thank you all for listening. Your phone calls every night. Therapy kept goes doing it right. He's teaching you how to live your life, but he's not really an expert.

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