Lyle (23:24)
I know, I know, I know. I know exactly what you're talking about. I know exactly what you're talking about. And this is, this is the unfortunate truth that I think that those kinds of people actually have to accept from their side. She can do all that stuff for you. You don't, you don't have to do any, you don't have to do any of that back if you don't want to. Her doing all that stuff for you is not inherently obligate you to do all those things back for her. You know, you're obligated to no one and nothing in any direction. And your, your obligation and your time and your attention will naturally, intuitively gravitate towards the kinds of people or the specific people that you want it to gravitate towards. You know, you don't have to feel. Just because someone remembers your birthday and you don't remember theirs, you don't have to feel bad. I mean, you, I guess you should remember the birthdays of the people you really care about, but you cannot. But as an adult, this is the thing. This is a fucking just reality. I believe in it. It's not a bad thing, it's not a sad thing. It just is what it is. And I think the more you recognize it, the actually greater your life will be, is that you have just a finite amount of time and energy. As a 26 year old adult, you know, you have a finite amount, you literally have a finite amount of time and energy and you can't just spread it around willy nilly, you know, I mean, you gotta pick the people or the things that take your energy. If you just let your, if you just, if you just let your energy flow in the direction that you feel obligated for it to flow, then you're living in a life you didn't even create for yourself. So it's really nice of this person to remember all these little things about you and remember your birthday and do all that, but that doesn't obligate you anywhere. So I don't even think you have to feel bad about it. So I know this is not, this might not be a Popular point of view, but that's okay. That's, that's like, that's the whole woo woo thing of like, that, you know, you're meant for the people that you're meant for. That's what that means, is like, you're gonna naturally, you're gonna really like spending time with some people and you're gonna not care that much about spending time with other people, and that's okay. And you have a, again, you have a finite amount of energy and a finite amount of relationships I've mentally identified in my brain in all sectors of my life. You know, in a, in a, in a kind of business way, in a, in a, in an interpersonal way, in a familial way, I've identified the people and the relationships that I have that I really care about. And I make time and energy for those. And then everything outside of that circle, I, is, I just surrender. It just has to. And, and, and the cost is that that person, this friend of yours, might be upset with you. And they might be, yeah, they might be upset that you didn't remember their birthday, but you have, you have to be okay with upsetting people. You should have people in your life. Like, here's what people, like, you know, the whole thing of like someone walking around being like, I don't care what people think of me. I don't care about pissing people off. I don't care about what it. Like that. I don't, I don't think that's not, that's not a good idea to apply to everyone and everything, but it's a great idea to apply to kind of most things and most people. You should totally, you should totally have people. You know what I mean? Like, you should totally have a lot, you should totally have people. Doesn't have to be a lot of people. Certainly should not be most people. But you should have certain people in certain relationships where you really don't want to piss them off and you really want to make them happy and you really want to invest yourself in the relationship. And like, you have people in your life who you actually care about whether or not they feel, feel like you care about them. But that should not be most people. And that list should be a handcrafted list. You get what I'm saying?
