THE GECKMAIL THANKSGIVING SPECIAL: “I DON’T HAVE ANY SPOONS”

Summary

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Therapy Gecko: THE GECKMAIL THANKSGIVING SPECIAL: “I DON’T HAVE ANY SPOONS”

Podcast: Therapy Gecko
Host: Lyle Sergek
Guest: Chloe (Lyle's sister)
Date: November 26, 2025

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Overview

This Therapy Gecko episode is a special Thanksgiving edition of “Geck Mail,” in which host Lyle reads and discusses listener emails instead of taking live calls. Joining him for the occasion is his sister Chloe, adding a heartfelt, humorous, and at times poignant sibling dynamic. Discussions range from family dynamics and personal anxieties to mental health, existential dread, coping with compassion fatigue, and the peculiarities of modern life—all peppered with classic Therapy Gecko philosophical meandering and banter.

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Main Segments & Key Discussions

Sibling Banter & Family Reflections

• Timestamps: [02:27] – [05:31]

• Lyle introduces Chloe, reminiscing about her previous appearances, including a stint as “Jack in the Box.”

• The siblings discuss family, memory problems, and the impact their relationship has had on listeners, referencing a touching email from a fan who lost their own sibling.

  • Notable Quote:
    • “I still have that email saved and I look at it sometimes and he said that it was a win that we have such a good relationship.” — Chloe [04:58]

• Light bickering and teasing about memory lapses, possible “name blindness,” and parental similarities.

Email 1: Finding Support After Family Dysfunction

• Timestamps: [05:36] – [14:52]

• Email from Nima: Shares about discovering “Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families” support group, grappling with becoming like one’s family despite efforts to break the cycle.

• Chloe and Lyle reflect on how people inevitably become like their parents, discuss 12-step programs, and ponder the meaning behind beliefs in higher powers/spirituality.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • “I think everyone’s biggest fear ... is turning into their parents. And I think in some ways, it’s just so inevitable, no matter if you come from an amazing family or ... one that’s a little bit more dysfunctional.” — Chloe [10:11]
    • “You can say that something bad happening can be in service of something greater down the line ... But that doesn't have to come from some God pulling the puppet strings.” — Lyle [14:20]

Email 2: Intelligence & Mental Health

• Timestamps: [15:04] – [21:56]

• Email from Emma: Wonders if having a higher IQ and the ability to think deeply makes people more susceptible to mental illness.

• Lyle and Chloe discuss existential crises, ChatGPT’s unrelenting positivity (“you are a queen on earth...”), and reference Neil deGrasse Tyson’s perspective on cosmic connectedness.

• They conclude it’s not necessarily intelligence, but perspective and outlook that affect one’s mental health.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • "You can think about subjects on a really deep level that take you to scary places, but ... you could look at it being like, ‘Oh my God, this is terrifying,’ or you can look at [it] and be like, ‘Oh, this is pretty cool.’" — Lyle [18:25]
    • “You are made of the same stuff as stars and the sky and everything else... so you can either look at that and be like, ‘Wow, that’s fucking scary’ ... or ... ‘I am just as important.’” — Chloe [20:56]

Email 3: Overcrowded Home & Lack of Privacy

• Timestamps: [24:40] – [32:12]

• Email from Fernando: Details living with 12 family members in a cramped house, feelings of being singled out, exclusion, and struggling to establish independence.

• Chloe empathizes, recommending finding outside activities and hobbies as outlets, while also suggesting open communication to address tension in the home.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • "I think spending as little time there as possible is probably good for you... [but] there is something to be said about getting everybody together and ... say all the things that you feel, and then you can move on." — Chloe [27:53]
    • "If you don’t have any responsibility at the house, just spend as much time—just go on, what, stand around... walk around." — Lyle [31:00]

Email 4: Post-Grad Aimlessness & Life Direction

• Timestamps: [35:03] – [52:47]

• Email from Tristan (Trizzy): Recently finished a master’s degree, now feeling lost and uncertain about next steps; contemplates working part-time, traveling, making travel content.

• Lyle and Chloe advocate for engaging in adventure and travel while young and unconstrained, arguing for the value of memorable experiences over rigid life plans. Conversation drifts (humorously) into Lyle’s one-spoon domestic lifestyle, personal grooming, and body image.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • “I think you should always do [travel] while you’re young because you’re only gonna have more responsibilities and you’re only gonna feel weirder about being broke.” — Lyle [39:36]
    • “Memories last longer than spoons.” — Lyle [52:32]
    • “If you can fix 30% of the issue right now, why wouldn’t you?” — Chloe (on self-improvement) [44:34]

Email 5: DMT Guy & Relationship Breakup

• Timestamps: [53:07] – [55:52]

• Email from Flux: Call-back from a past DMT-experiencer, now dealing with a breakup (“as a gamer it was hard not to just text GG’s”).

• Lyle and Chloe laugh about the inappropriateness (or brilliance) of replying to breakups with gaming jargon; they briefly relate to dental hygiene and household efficiency (one spoon theory).

Email 6: Gen Alpha is Cooked

• Timestamps: [56:02] – [64:45]

• Email from Emma: Works as a “para” in education, shocked by chaotic, disrespectful classroom environments, laments the generational decline and impact of technology.

• Lyle and Chloe discuss their own school days, the evolution of memes, and the intensification of “brain rot” due to social media and short-form video, but ultimately acknowledge the generational cycle of older folks disparaging younger generations.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • “I genuinely think this generation is doomed... but I feel like it is very valid.”—Reader [56:52]
    • “I think every generation... just shits on the other ones... and I think that’s just kind of how it goes sometimes.” — Chloe [63:37]

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Listeners’ Life-Struggles & Geck/Brotherly Wisdom

Compassion Fatigue & Burnout (Melissa)

• Timestamps: [67:38] – [~74:00]
• Lyle reads an email about “compassion burnout” from a dog groomer overwhelmed by impossible expectations at work.
• His advice: You cannot be “the awesomest guy” to everyone all the time; recognize “insufficient funds” in your compassion account; protect your energy and accept that sometimes you will disappoint people—it's okay.
  • Quote:
    • “I don’t make a withdrawal when there are insufficient funds anymore... The sooner you realize that, as a human being... you’re gonna piss someone off.” — Lyle [around 70:30]

Yearning for Escape & Adventure (“Slayer of Gods”)

• Timestamps: [~75:00] – [~81:00]
• Inspired by the “train hopper” guest and Christopher McCandless, the listener fantasizes about running away from suburban life.
• Lyle suggests: Don’t view life as a binary (office drone vs. forest hermit). Try adventure in doses. Seek balance. The extremes are not the only options.

Seasonal Candy (“Geno”)

• Timestamps: [~82:00] onward
• Lyle rhapsodizes about seasonal candies (like caramel apple turtles) and the small but meaningful pleasures they offer—dovetailing with confessions about loving eggnog, candy corn, and grappling with the realities of weight and health.
  • Quote:
    • “I really start to be like, ‘I don’t think there’s a point of living if I can’t have a little bit of candy now and then.’” — Lyle

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Most Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Parental Similarities:
  • “Every time I look at him, I see the spitting image of your father.” — Chloe quoting their mother [12:01]
• On The One-Spoon Life:
  • “I have one fork. I have one spoon. ... I’m a single man living alone, why do I need more than one spoon?” — Lyle [41:00]
• On Looks, Self-Improvement, and Potential:
  • “You’re giving yourself a timeline—‘I am gonna look good maybe in six to seven months’—but... you could do those things... and feel good now.” — Chloe [43:13]
• On Generational Angst:
  • “I think every generation... just shits on the other ones.” — Chloe [63:37]
• On Memories vs. Domesticity:
  • “Memories last longer than spoons.” — Lyle [52:32]

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Episode Structure & Flow

1. [02:27] – [05:31]: Thanksgiving intro, Chloe joins, sibling reminiscing.
2. [05:36] – [55:52]: Series of listener emails, each discussed in real time, ranging from family and existential dread to post-grad malaise, burnout, and workplace frustrations. Banter and diversions abound.
3. [56:02] – [64:45]: Chloe’s wrap-up, Gen Alpha/classroom chaos, generational perspectives.
4. [67:38] onward: Lyle solo, shares additional responses to listener emails (compassion fatigue, adventure, seasonal candies).
5. Closing: Lyle outlines plans for future guests, invites feedback, and delivers characteristic Geck blessings and calls-to-action.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:27] – Chloe Joins: Sibling Backstory & Banter
• [05:36] – Family Dysfunction & Support Groups
• [15:04] – Intelligence & Mental Health Discussion
• [24:40] – Overcrowded Household Struggles
• [35:03] – Postgrad Uncertainty/Travel Aspirations
• [53:07] – DMT & Breakup (GG’s)
• [56:02] – Gen Alpha, Schools, & Social Media
• [67:38] – Compassion Burnout (Melissa)
• [~75:00] – Adventure Yearning (“Slayer of Gods”)
• [~82:00] – Seasonal Candy (“Geno”)
• [96:21] – Podcast Close (song, ads, outro)

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Tone and Style

• Warm, humorous, often self-deprecating.
• Honest, sometimes meandering, philosophical.
• Sibling dynamic throughout adds depth, relatability, and candor.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode showcases Therapy Gecko’s signature blend of deeply human listener stories and irreverent, heartfelt wisdom. With Chloe’s presence, the show feels especially familial—balancing laughter, debate, and big existential questions with mundane (yet universal) concerns like self-caring, the passage of time, and the right number of spoons to own. The episode is perfect for fans of authentic, candid conversations, holiday reflection, or anyone feeling a bit “between spoons” themselves.

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Geck Bless. Happy Thanksgiving.

Transcript

[Chloe]

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[Lyle Sergek]

Hey folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're going to want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show are creators of some kind. And whatever it is you guys do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. So check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live together. Hey folks, I am very excited to finally have a therapy sponsor for this podcast that takes insurance. Rula is a healthcare company that makes getting therapy from a licensed professional easy and affordable. They accept most major insurance plans and the average copay per session is only $15. Head on over to rula.com gecko that's R U L A.com gecko to get started today. After you sign up they will ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know that therapy Gecko sent you. Go to R U L A and take the first step toward better mental health today. Hello everyone. Welcome to the Therapy Gecko podcast. This is a special Thanksgiving edition of Geck Mail. For those who are unfamiliar, Geck Mail is a version of this show where instead of talking to a caller, I read viewer mail. And this is a very special Thanksgiving edition of the show because I have a special guest on the show, my sister Chloe. Chloe, how you doing?

[Chloe]

I'm doing good. How are you?

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm doing really good. Chloe was a get. You were a guest on the show many years ago. Many years ago. Four years ago.

[Chloe]

I've been on the show three and a half times.

[Lyle Sergek]

What was the halftime?

[Chloe]

The halftime was when I was the Jack in the Box. The head.

[Lyle Sergek]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I did a brand deal with Jack in the box, like four years ago. And Chloe, they sent me like the head of the clown guy.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

And I. And. And my wonderful sister sat there on.

[Chloe]

Stream for like 45 minutes in that stifling head.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah. She was willing to be Jack.

[Chloe]

I was willing to be Jack.

[Lyle Sergek]

It was very nice of her.

[Chloe]

I know. I'm a really good sister.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah. So sometimes I. I don't want to take phone calls. So I read.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

Viewer mail and stuff.

[Chloe]

I think that's fair.

[Lyle Sergek]

Some of. So I'm going to try. Some of them are, like, intense.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

Some of them are, like, funny.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

But it's a lot of intense stuff.

[Chloe]

So. What do you mean by intense?

[Lyle Sergek]

Like just life, just people just, you.

[Chloe]

Know, well, should we ease into one that's kind of funny and then do one that's intense and see which one we are jiving with more, you know?

[Lyle Sergek]

I wish we could do that. I wish that that was how this worked. But, like, it's.

[Chloe]

Oh, it's just. You pick it out and I just.

[Lyle Sergek]

Pick it out and I read it. But I can also start reading it and then it will.

[Chloe]

No, I think if you're already starting to read it, you just have to go for it. And it doesn't matter if it's funny or lighthearted or bad.

[Lyle Sergek]

Actually, I was skimming through them and I saw one that was a little sexual in nature. And I'll skip those.

[Chloe]

I think that would be great. Thank you.

[Lyle Sergek]

I'll skip those.

[Chloe]

Have you seen any that are sibling focused? Talking about your siblings, your brothers and sisters, maybe?

[Lyle Sergek]

I think there's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of like.

[Chloe]

Or like just your family in general.

[Lyle Sergek]

Oh, okay. There's.

[Chloe]

I think.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah, there's a lot of, like, family stuff in here. I can. I can skim through for that. I was gonna bring this up. I don't know if I ever talked about this on the podcast, but. Do you. We've talked about this a lot, but do you remember. So Chloe was on my show. Yeah. Three times. And we got an email once.

[Chloe]

We did get an email.

[Lyle Sergek]

We got a really nice email from someone who said something like. Correct me if I'm remembering this wrong, but they said that seeing the relationship that I have with my sister made them feel really nice because they lost their sister to, I think, a drug overdose.

[Chloe]

Drugs. Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

That was nice. We sat right here on this table. We cried a little bit. Do you remember that?

[Chloe]

It did.

[Lyle Sergek]

It was really touching.

[Chloe]

I still have that email saved and I look at it sometimes and he said that it was a win that we have our. That we have such a good relationship.

[Lyle Sergek]

It is a win.

[Chloe]

Also, can you hear our dog screaming in the background?

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm gonna. I usually put these podcasts through, like a noise. Through, like a background noise reduction thing, and I don't know if it's gonna get rid of our dog, but. Yeah, our dog Sophie is barking in the background. We don't live together. We're at.

[Chloe]

We're just home for the holidays.

[Lyle Sergek]

We're home for the holidays. Okay. Should I start reading some emails?

[Chloe]

Yeah, I wanna hear. I wanna. Let's dive in.

[Lyle Sergek]

So this is from Nima. Subject line. I found a great support group. Hi, Lyle. Many people are like me and grew up in a dysfunctional family. As a kid, I was scared of becoming like them, and I sort of did, even though I tried to avoid it. How can you try to avoid growing up in a.

[Chloe]

No. Becoming like her family or their families are.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay. I'm so glad you're here because I'm like. My brain, like, works at a. I'm a little scared.

[Chloe]

Don't be scared.

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm scared that I might have dementia.

[Chloe]

I don't even want to think about that. That seems really sad. And also, dementia doesn't run in our family, so I don't think you have dementia. Alzheimer's are hereditary.

[Lyle Sergek]

Sometimes I'm talking to dad and he'll.

[Chloe]

Like, no, actually, that's such a good point. I do think he might have early.

[Lyle Sergek]

Onset dementia, but it might be from, like, smoking weed and stuff.

[Chloe]

I don't know. I like. You think he's high at the time of.

[Lyle Sergek]

No, I don't think. No, I don't think he's like, I know he smokes a lot and I smoke a lot, and I think that might be, like, a thing. Although, I don't know. As I'm. I think as I'm getting. I promise we'll get back to the email, but I think as I'm getting older, I'm not that old, but my. My memory has become. Become selective, I think.

[Chloe]

Yeah, I think that's how most people are. Like, you don't remember the things. Like, I. I mean, I'm 30 now and I barely. Barely remember anything from high school. Like, I barely remember anything from five years ago.

[Lyle Sergek]

This. So this is the thing that happens a lot in the show is people will tell me their name and I'll immediately forget it.

[Chloe]

But, like, maybe you have name blindness.

[Lyle Sergek]

Kind Yeah, I. I do have name blindness. Can you use that as an excuse when you. Is that, like, an acceptable excuse when you forget someone's name? Be like, I'm sorry, I have name blindness.

[Chloe]

Well, people have face blindness. That's like, a legitimate thing that people have where they can't see a face.

[Lyle Sergek]

Mm.

[Chloe]

So maybe you have name or maybe you are demented.

[Lyle Sergek]

I don't remember people. Like, I'll. Okay, so a caller will, like, tell me their name, and I'll immediately forget it. But then a caller will be like, hey, man, I don't know if you remember this, like, four years ago. Like, we sat on the phone and we talked about Quesaritos from Taco Bell for four hours. And I'm like, yes, I remember that conversation. I just.

[Chloe]

I mean, I think remembering someone's name is not necessarily the most important, important thing. They're trying to just get their thing across.

[Lyle Sergek]

Thank you.

[Chloe]

And you could call them Joe Schmo, and they don't care.

[Lyle Sergek]

That's how I felt. Okay. I was scared of becoming like my family, and I sort of did, even though I tried to avoid it. Recently, I found a group called Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families. I have been in therapy and other men's groups before, and they have all helped, but finding this community has been amazing.

[Chloe]

That's great.

[Lyle Sergek]

Anyway, I just wanted to share so other people might find it. They talk about God like in the step 12 step program, but it isn't religious. Maybe other ones are, but this one is more loose. Here is the Serenity Prayer. Do you know the Serenity Prayer?

[Chloe]

It is. I believe God accept. God grant me the serenity to accept the things that cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yes, they wrote the Serenity Prayer.

[Chloe]

Serenity, Serenity. I'm saying serenity, Serenity, Serenity, Serenity Prayer.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah, they wrote the Serenity, Serenity Prayer. That was it. That was their whole email.

[Chloe]

That's great.

[Lyle Sergek]

You've never been to a 12 step meeting, have you?

[Chloe]

I've never needed one. Have you been to a 12 step meeting?

[Lyle Sergek]

Did I ever tell you about this?

[Chloe]

I don't know.

[Lyle Sergek]

I went to. I went to an overeater Anonymous meeting.

[Chloe]

Oh, I do remember you vaguely, but you can tell it again.

[Lyle Sergek]

That's it. There's not that much to. But it's interesting. I like. I don't. I think that people get, like, turned off by the fact that, like, they talk about, like, God, but I just sub in. Like, I don't I have a said I want to believe in, like, a Catholic interpretation of God, but I believe in God in terms of, like. Like, God is just an allegory for, like, that which is beyond you or, like, higher power. Higher power.

[Chloe]

You know, I mean, I think that a lot of people take solace in believing in God, and I think if you believe in God and it can be really helpful to feel like there's a higher presence to help you with your. Insert addiction here, whether it's alcohol or narcotics or overeating. But I will say he said something interesting. This person. I don't want to gender them, but.

[Lyle Sergek]

I think they're a he. They said they've been to men's groups.

[Chloe]

Yeah. Okay. So he at the top, where he said he came from a dysfunctional family, and then he didn't want to turn into them, but he did. And I think everyone's biggest fear, for the most part, is turning into their parents. And I think in some ways, it's just so inevitable, no matter if you come from an amazing family or one that's a little bit more dysfunctional. But, I mean, you are like, the spitting image of our carbon copy of our dad.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah, I was thinking about that. Yeah. I mean, I've accepted that I'm. I'm a lot like our dad. Do you. Do you think that you're like our mom or. Or, like. Do you think you're like our mom or our dad?

[Chloe]

I think I can. There's things that happen that I. I see. Think, oh, that was something that my dad would do, or, oh, that's something that I think my mom would do. But I don't know if I'm, like, turning into either of them. I think I got a little bit more of the balance of the both of them. And you just, like, didn't at all.

[Lyle Sergek]

I think I. I have things that are like our mom.

[Chloe]

I think so, too. I mean, obviously you're, like, half her DNA, but I think that you're more. I think you're more like our dad than I am like our mom.

[Lyle Sergek]

I think that's true. I think it's accurate.

[Chloe]

Like, I think I'm more of a balance between the both of them, but I think you just straight up got whatever genes from way back when.

[Lyle Sergek]

We were. I think I overheard. We were just. We were in an argument. We were in a discussion. We were in a discussion at the dinner table, and I was talking, and I went upstairs for a second, and I saw mom say to you. Every time I look at him, I see the spitting image of your father.

[Chloe]

Well, you do look a lot like him when he was younger.

[Lyle Sergek]

I believe in a high. I don't know if I believe. I mean believe. I mean there's got to, there's inevitably got to be something beyond this things beyond us. Even if it's like a, you know, a friggin chemical or whatever. But I don't, I don't think it cares about me, the higher power.

[Chloe]

I don't think about you specifically. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to get too philosophical about it.

[Lyle Sergek]

We can.

[Chloe]

But part of it's like if there is really a higher power out there that is benevolent and good and they're supposed to make good things happen. I think he's abandoned us or doesn't.

[Lyle Sergek]

Care about us really. You think he's abandoned us?

[Chloe]

I mean, think about the state that the world is in. Whichever way you go politically or whichever way however your life is.

[Lyle Sergek]

Well, it's not even the state of the world now. It's like the world has constantly been filled. The world has never had a point in time where it didn't have tremendous amounts of.

[Chloe]

Yeah, I mean there's a lot of suffering, both on a large scale and a small. On a micro level. I mean there's people out there who are, you know, there's massive genocides happening and then there's also people who just like our, our mailer, who comes from a really dysfunctional family has to go to find support groups and like that's a suffering within itself.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah, the suffering. Yeah. On large scales, but also just in regular.

[Chloe]

So I think it's hard to say that there is this benevolent good God out there and everything happens for a reason. I used to have a friend, whenever I would say everything happens for a reason, she would always be like, that's dumb because. Yeah, then why are people in Africa like starving and dying from.

[Lyle Sergek]

So what? So now, so now do you think that. So you used to say that a lot. Do you no longer believe that everything happens for a reason?

[Chloe]

I would say that I think in my own life I like to think everything happens for a reason. Because if something bad happens and you want to believe it's in service of ultimately something good down the line, but I think you, it's selective. You can only. You can't say that about everything, but you can.

[Lyle Sergek]

You, you can say that something bad happening can be in service of something greater down the line as a. Like and that. But that doesn't have to come from like, like some God pulling The puppet strings. You can just believe, you can just.

[Chloe]

Choose to believe Spirituality involved in that, though, like, you may not be putting your, your faith in an amorphous idea of a God, but then you're putting your faith in like the universe almost.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

Because it is a spirituality, it is a power. Because it's not you making these decisions necessarily. Although maybe it is. I don't know.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay, this is from Emma. Okay, this is a question. Okay, Emma, the subject line is existential thoughts and mental illness.

[Chloe]

Great. Oh, wow. We really are going intensity.

[Lyle Sergek]

Do you think people with a higher IQ that are more able to think about subjects on a deeper level are more likely to become mentally ill?

[Chloe]

I think that's a great question for you.

[Lyle Sergek]

You know, actually, you know, actually I, I had a crazy existential crisis and I was really wondering the answer to this question. And so I, I was. When I was at my existence crisis, I was talking to CHAT GPT all the time.

[Chloe]

I know. And you have to stop doing that.

[Lyle Sergek]

I, Well, I take everything ChatGPT says with a grain of salt because I.

[Chloe]

Dude, before ChatGPT is set up so that they agree with everything you said.

[Lyle Sergek]

Dude. Okay, so it didn't used to be like, like back in like 2021, ChatGPT talked like a great. And now I hate it because you'll be like, like, I'll say something like, what's a good. I'll. I'll be like, what's a good low calorie breakfast? And it'll be like, well, that's amazing of you that you want to eat a lower calorie breakfast. What a genius idea. And I'm like, don't do that.

[Chloe]

Well, you can train. I mean, I don't believe in training AI because I think it's like we're all becoming dumber and stupider. But you can train your AI to be more neutral and not say, because mine does the same exact thing. I, I'll use it for exactly that same thing, a low calorie breakfast or workout plan or something. And then it'll say, you are a queen on earth. And here are five ideas.

[Lyle Sergek]

I think, I think most people are falling for that.

[Chloe]

What do you mean falling for it?

[Lyle Sergek]

Like, like before I realize I, I. And I'll be honest with you, and I'll cup up to this. Before I realized everyone's does that to them. I did special. I did think I was special for a second. I did think I was pretty awesome for a second.

[Chloe]

You are pretty awesome, but you don't need chachi Beatty to tell you that.

[Lyle Sergek]

Thank you, Chloe. You're welcome. I will. Okay, so I was talking to Chatgpt and I was like, I was like asking for examples of like, scientists or people who like, think really deeply about the world and like, study bio. And I was like, can you give me examples of like, profound scientists who've like, really studied our existence in the world, who also are theologists and also like, believe in God? And it spit out a few. And like, in doing.

[Chloe]

And it said, queen. That's such a great.

[Lyle Sergek]

It did. Yeah, it did, it did. It was like. It was like, wow, that's a great perspective to have or something like that. And it spit out a few. And so I think that there are like, you know, what a Harvard professor, whatever, people who've studied. You've read the Stephen Hawking fucking book and whatever, who, who are able to like, look at the, like, profound nihilism of the universe and whatnot. But. But it's not. But that's just the external, right? And they can like, really dive deep into that external. But their internal mindset, they can view all this information, think about it deeply and still be able to look at it and be like, oh, this is cool, you know, because you can.

[Chloe]

Because.

[Lyle Sergek]

Because you can think about subjects on a really deep level that takes you to scary places. But then if you look at it. But then you could look at it being like, oh, my God, this is terrifying. Or you can look at and be like, oh, this is pretty cool. And that's. I don't think that's like that choice of perspective, I don't think is a matter of how smart you are. I think that that's like a. I don't. I don't know what that is. But some. I think there's really smart people who are able to make the choice of like, oh, nothing matters and we're a flash in a pan and between in an Oreo cookie of oblivion. That's pretty cool, actually. I'm going to go eat a sandwich and play chess and hang out with my friend. You know, like some people. People can do that. So I don't. I don't think it's directly related to mental illness. What do you think?

[Chloe]

I think that anybody can really be mentally ill. Most people probably.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chloe]

But I would say that I do think that anxiety and depression in particular, which are obviously the biggest kind of mental illnesses that are most diagnosable. I wouldn't say that has to do with iq. I think IQ is kind of a. I don't know if I think we should really be basing our smarts on iq. I actually have no idea what my IQ is. I've never taken an IQ test.

[Lyle Sergek]

Most of them are, like, right.

[Chloe]

I don't know. I've never taken one. But I think that when you are able, I think if you do have the ability to think deeper about the universe and think deeper about life, it can lead, I guess, like you said to either being like, wow, that's really cool, or being really kind of sad about it. You know, my. One of my favorite interviews is with Neil DeGrasse Tyson. And somebody asked. I don't know if, you know, this is actually what my tattoo is based on. One of my tattoos is Neil. Did Somebody asked Neil DeGrasse Tyson what his favorite fact about the universe was? Yeah, and it's. He goes. I mean, he has a beautiful speaking voice, but he goes to this whole shtick about how, you know, the big bang happened and the guts of the universe were spread across, you know, time and created stars and planets and our sun and earth and then life and how we are made of the same stuff as stars and the sky and everything else. And that when you look into, you know, the night sky, you see all these stars. Like, the universe is so vast, but it's made of the same stuff that we're made of.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

So you can either look at that and be like, wow, that's fucking scary. And the universe is so big and we're so small, and that can really scare you. But then he also said, but you can look at that and say, oh, I made the same stuff as the stars and the moons and whatever. I am just as important, even if my life is more fleeting and I'm not gonna have the longevity.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

So I. And I love that idea of both feeling, like, unimportant, and so the things that I do in my life are not gonna ultimately matter. And so it's okay if I make mistakes. But then I also like the idea that I am really important and I matter a lot.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

And so. And my life is ultimately meaningful, even if it's not long.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah. I agree. That brings us into the collective consciousness, like, we are the universe experiencing itself type of shit.

[Chloe]

Do people on your podcast, like, will they find that. Listen to this. Will they find this interesting?

[Lyle Sergek]

I don't know.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

I don't know.

[Chloe]

I don't know if they want to talk about, like, poop and farts or something.

[Lyle Sergek]

No, the podcast, I think we talk. I mean, yeah, we talk about, like, exorcist Essential stuff a lot. There's a lot less poop and farts. I used to be like, oh, I kind of missed the poop and farts. But then somebody will call in. There's like. I like, think, like, you think deep. Well, I do, but I like. I like things that are funny, but I don't like things that are like. Like fake. Things aren't funny to me, like, I think there's a lot of, like, funny things.

[Chloe]

Yeah, we have something really funny that's okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

We don't like. I like. Dude, we don't. I think. I don't. I like when things are naturally funny. Oh, this. I don't know if this has anything to do with anything, but, like, I don't know if. I think I mentioned this on the podcast. I don't know if I said this to you, but. So our stepdad. Yeah, and this is related to this in a way. Our stepdad, Dan, maybe one of the most sane people I know.

[Chloe]

I would say that Dan is a island universally beloved by every single person that has ever met him.

[Lyle Sergek]

Universally beloved and a sane, grounded, down to earth guy.

[Chloe]

He's very even keeled.

[Lyle Sergek]

And it was his 70th birthday the other week, and I called him and we. And we talked on the phone and he was telling me a little bit about how it feels to be 70. And he was like. And he said. He was like, you know, when I was 30, I thought 70. When I was like in my 30s.

[Chloe]

And 40s, he said the same thing.

[Lyle Sergek]

I thought 70 was ancient. And he was kind of like reflecting a little bit. And then he stopped himself. And he was like, I'm getting too deep. And I was like, no, I. I'm. And then. And then he was like, I'm getting too deep. And then I was like. And then he said this thing that, like, blew my mind. He was like, you know, introspection never really appealed to me.

[Chloe]

Interesting.

[Lyle Sergek]

And I was like. The way. The way he. He said it, like, it was like. Like it was like tennis. Like, it was like a hobby or it was like this optional.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

Thing.

[Chloe]

But that's not optional to you. You love and you're constantly.

[Lyle Sergek]

Well, I do. I like it. But it's also like. It feels like it's like just a part of my existence. But it was interesting, I guess. I don't know.

[Chloe]

He's very smart.

[Lyle Sergek]

He's a really smart. He's a really smart dude.

[Chloe]

He got into Harvard back in the day.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

You know, he's certainly not one to. And I don't think he's mentally ill.

[Lyle Sergek]

No, I don't think he's mentally ill at all.

[Chloe]

He's the least mentally ill person in this entire family.

[Lyle Sergek]

Absolutely. So I think he's an example of, you know, a smart guy who's not mentally, mentally ill. Okay. Okay. This is from Fernando.

[Chloe]

Fernando.

[Lyle Sergek]

Living with 12 people and no privacy.

[Chloe]

Oh, God.

[Lyle Sergek]

Hi, Lyle. I wanted to reach out because I feel like I need an outside perspective or on what's going on in my life. I'm an immigrant living in the US and because of my status, there are a lot of things I can't do, like getting a normal job. I've been taking seasonal care or cash based work wherever I can, but most places either don't want to deal with it or don't have space. Still, I'm trying my best. Right now I live with my parents, my siblings, and my uncle's family. Thanks to my uncle, we have a place to stay. He has six kids and five of them live here, and four of us are between 17 and 21. I'm 21 myself. This is where things have gotten tense. I've been arguing more with my cousins, and small comments like asking why I don't have a job quickly escalate into threats about kicking me out. I get where the frustration comes, but I also help with rent wherever I have money. The house is already packed and privacy basically does not exist. One cousin has a child, two of them have boyfriends who sometimes stay the night, and another cousin had their girlfriend moved in. I'm not even sure if she pays rent with all that going on. It's frustrating that I'm the one getting singled out the most. That is frustrating with all these people in the house. Like, why? Why are you getting on my case? I finished my AA last May.

[Chloe]

Associates.

[Lyle Sergek]

What is that? Associates.

[Chloe]

I'm pretty sure a is associate's degree or maybe something else.

[Lyle Sergek]

We're gonna look that up. What is an AA degree? Oh, Associate of arts. It's a two year. Yeah, Undergraduate.

[Chloe]

It's like community college.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay. I finished my. Okay, so you finished community college last May, and ironically, that's when things started to go downhill at home. I don't have the money to continue school right now, and for months I've been trying to find steady work, but nothing has come through. At this point, the whole house barely talks unless it's something simple like pass the salt. It doesn't feel like a family anymore. More like a group of strangers surviving in the same space. I'm not sure how to navigate all this, and I'd appreciate any perspective you might have. Thanks for reading, Fernando. I'm gonna say a few things up front, Fernando. I. First of all, I really appreciate you sharing your story with us.

[Chloe]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Lyle Sergek]

I, you know, I mean, we. We had. I don't know, I. I read stuff like this all the time and I'm like, man, we had a pretty good childhood, you know?

[Chloe]

Well, we certainly didn't have 12 people living under the same roof.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

And four of those people being 17 to 21. Yeah, that's pretty brutal.

[Lyle Sergek]

So I'm trying to think about how, like, what can Fernando do? I guess, I mean, it feels like. I don't know. Do you have any thoughts about this? It's okay if you don't. I know this stuff's kind of hard.

[Chloe]

I mean, I would say that my biggest. Excuse me. Thing is I think he just needs to find outlets outside of the house to get him kind of out as much as possible.

[Lyle Sergek]

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

[Chloe]

You know, I think hobbies are a beautiful thing, and something as simple as, you know, walking a lot or joining like a local YMCA or. Oh, yeah, something like that can get you really out of the house. I think spending as little time there as possible is probably good for you. But I also think there is something to be said about getting everybody together and kind of having a knockout drag out, fight. You say all the things that you feel, and then you can move on and maybe there'll be less tension in the house. But I definitely sympathize with his plight. You know, being an immigrant, I'm sure it's very, very hard nowadays to get a job. And I feel bad that he's in this scenario. And I don't know if there's necessarily a way out that I can provide that way. But I think getting out of the house, but then also communicating with everybody together in one place might be the best way to have peace.

[Lyle Sergek]

I wonder if, like, I see one of the things. I wish I could talk to Fernando because I'm like, he's got to have at least one ally in the house.

[Chloe]

Well, I want to know how big the house is.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah, that's true too.

[Chloe]

Like, is it a McMansion and 12 people are living in it comfortably, but not with.

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm gonna assume there's a lot of beds in.

[Chloe]

I mean, I have to assume.

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm assuming there's a lot of beds.

[Chloe]

Or is it literally like a three bedroom apartment? People are on top of Each other. Like, I. I want to know the logistics of the apartment or the living situation.

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm gonna assume there's a few more people living. I'm gonna assume there's a six solid handful more people living in the house than. Than. Is that then the house is designed. I think you're probably to accommodate. I wonder if he has any allies. Like, does he have. Does he at least have one person in the house?

[Chloe]

His mom.

[Lyle Sergek]

On his level of being like this sucks that he can, like, connect. Does he have anyone else that he can, like, connect with? If you do, you really, you know, form a bond with that person? His mom. I guess he has his mom. I don't know what his relationship is like with his mom. He might not be.

[Chloe]

Then I guess find an ally. If you don't have one, find one.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah. You get really into taking walks.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

Does that cost money?

[Chloe]

I don't know. I don't think so. Maybe it does. It probably does not get it, but there are free, like, community centers that you can go to. Go to the library. Get a library card. That's free. Go to the library.

[Lyle Sergek]

Well, yeah, okay. If you finish your community college, like, if you're in, like, you just spend as little time out of the house as possible.

[Chloe]

I think we didn't give him good advice.

[Lyle Sergek]

I don't think we did either. But. But we read his email and Fernando.

[Chloe]

We'Re here for you. And if you want to follow up and let us know if you took literally any of the five horrible suggestions that we gave, we would be happy to hear from you how this is going in the future.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah. Well, I guess maybe it's helpful to know, like, Fernando, if you don't have any kind of, like, responsibility at the house, like, just spend as much time. Just go on. What? Stand around. Walk around.

[Chloe]

No, don't stand around. Don't loiter.

[Lyle Sergek]

No, do that. No. Walk around the grocery store for, like, two hours. I'm not even saying I do that kind of. Sometimes if I don't want to go home.

[Chloe]

Grocery store for two hours.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah. Sometimes I'll be like. Like, I'll go on a walk, and I'm like, this is aimless walk. Maybe I'm, you know, whatever. And I'll just walk into a grocery store and I'll be like, huh, what kind of cereal is going on these days? You know, whatever. It's better than being at home doing nothing.

[Chloe]

Be safe with that.

[Lyle Sergek]

Fernando, what's. What's so not safe about being. Going to. Being in a grocery store?

[Chloe]

I mean there's not nothing. Not being safe. Just be safe. I don't know why that's a problem that I said that.

[Lyle Sergek]

It's not a problem. I just. It's not a problem. It's just inferring that there was something unsafe about.

[Chloe]

There's not anything unsafe. Just, you know, be safe.

[Lyle Sergek]

Be safe. Fernando.

[Chloe]

I think that's a blanket statement. We could say that to Emma and the other previous emailer.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay. Hey folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators kind. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok. Doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world whatever it is that you do best. You can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live together. Hey folks, I am very excited to finally have a therapy sponsor for this podcast that takes insurance. This episode is sponsored by Rula. They are a health care company on a mission to make getting therapy from a licensed professional easy and affordable. They accept most major insurance plans and the average copay per session is only $15. Every therapist on Rula is carefully vetted and chosen for their expertise so you will always know that you're in good hands. Thousands have already trusted Rula to support them on their journey toward improved mental health and overall well being. Head on over to rula.com gecko that's R U L A dot com gecko to get started today. After you sign up, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support this show and let them know that therapy Gecko sent you. Go to r u l a.com gecko and take the first step toward better mental health. Today you deserve quality care from someone who cares.

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[Chloe]

Another email.

[Lyle Sergek]

All right, this is from Tristan.

[Chloe]

Tristan.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay, subject line, Belgian American fella just graduated from a master's. Feeling like. Okay, now what? Lol.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

Dear esteemed Lyle Sergek.

[Chloe]

Esteemed Lyle. All right.

[Lyle Sergek]

I've been a fan for a very long time and your podcast makes my days washing dishes in a restaurant much more bearable.

[Chloe]

That's so sweet.

[Lyle Sergek]

It is very sweet. I wish I could call in, but international calling fees are insanely expensive, unfortunately. Well, I'm glad you could reach us via email.

[Chloe]

Yeah. Now you got two. Two for the price of one. Even better.

[Lyle Sergek]

All right, so I come from an American family but lived most of my life in Brussels, Belgium. At the age of 18, I left home to study Digital Social sciences Media studies in the Netherlands.

[Chloe]

That's a lot of words.

[Lyle Sergek]

It's a lot of words. It's a weird study. Yes. And I often second guess if it was the right decision because I guess when. Because when people, when he explains it to people, they say, that's a lot of words.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

The uni life away from home was incredible and so much fun. I really grew out of my shell and became a person I'm much more proud of and happy being. After my Bachelor's was done, I wasn't ready to move back home yet. So I decided to stay and get a Master's in the same study program. I recently graduated and have now obtained my master's. And he put two exclamation points after that.

[Chloe]

Congratulations.

[Lyle Sergek]

My question really boils down to, okay, well, now what? My gut is telling me to keep working part time as I'm doing right now, and then go back to traveling. After my Bachelor's was done, I'd saved enough money to go to Japan for a whole month last January, February.

[Chloe]

That's cool.

[Lyle Sergek]

And it was incredible. I'd love to get a better job and go back and travel more. I want to try making travel videos because seeing thousands of content creators being able to make content by traveling that then pays for itself via the content makes me incredibly jealous. I'm generally feeling a bit lost and anxious about finally closing the chapter on university. Although I'm also extremely excited and open minded about the future. I also had an idea to hitchhike across Belgium, the very small country I've lived in my whole life, but barely traveled at all. By the way, let me know if you're ever in little Belgium. I've never been to Belgium. Have you ever been to Belgium?

[Chloe]

You've been to Belgium?

[Lyle Sergek]

I've not. I don't think I've ever.

[Chloe]

I thought you went to Brussels.

[Lyle Sergek]

No, I've never been to Brussels.

[Chloe]

Oh, maybe I'm wrong then.

[Lyle Sergek]

I feel like all the European cities, a lot of the European places, kind of.

[Chloe]

I never been to Belgium either, but I've heard amazing things. It is a place I want to go in the future.

[Lyle Sergek]

So yeah, that's it. Would love to hear your thoughts and advice. I will also definitely be working toward an extended Japan trip again. Would love to hear any advice you have on that too.

[Chloe]

Japan is the hot ticket.

[Lyle Sergek]

Japan is the hot ticket. A bunch of people, A bunch of people are going to Japan. They're. I don't think they like it.

[Chloe]

I think they don't think that the Japanese people like it.

[Lyle Sergek]

Oh well, I think they're putting on a new tax to like curb tourism to Japan.

[Chloe]

Oh, okay. Well, is that the end of the email or do you have something else to say?

[Lyle Sergek]

He says more. He says, I want to go to Japan and hopefully bump into the funny, green faced costumed individual known as Therapy Gecko. Lots of love, dude. Keep doing your thang.

[Chloe]

Keep doing your thing.

[Lyle Sergek]

Get and best. Okay, remember his name was. Do you remember his name? All the best, Trizzy.

[Chloe]

Trizzy. Oh, I love it. Okay, Trizzy. So you've got a lot in there for us to talk about. I would say that the first thing is that it is scary to be closing the chapter on university because you've, you're now becoming a real bonafide adult and that's a scary thought.

[Lyle Sergek]

After my bachelor's was done, I wanted. Okay, so I don't. So it sounds like you have a bit of a travel bug. You have things you want to do.

[Chloe]

And that's really like you have a massive travel bug. You're trying to go everywhere in the world.

[Lyle Sergek]

I do, I do some places maybe.

[Chloe]

You shouldn't want to go to, but sure, sure, sure.

[Lyle Sergek]

I, I, I think, I mean I think you should do if you have like because you're this boy, this guy's like 22.

[Chloe]

I have no idea.

[Lyle Sergek]

He's probably like 2022. I think if you have the idea because like right now I think you should do like anything that you want to do travel wise. I think you should always do while you're young because you're only gonna have more responsibilities and you're only gonna feel weirder about, like, being broke and stuff. Like, as you.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

That is get older. So, like, if you're 22 and, like, you can hitchhike across Belgium and you can, like, because you're 22, you can sleep on the ground.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

Get a tent. You can, like, backpack. Why not backpack? You can stay at these hostels for, like, no money. And look, you can do that when you're, you know, 30 and. And on.

[Chloe]

But you're not gonna want to do that when you're 30.

[Lyle Sergek]

You're not gonna want to. And also, you might, you know, I don't know what your money. You might get a really good digital social studies, media studies job that's not going to let you take off for that long. So I'm a fan of. And also, the other thing is, once you do shit like this for long enough, like, you hitchhike across Belgium, you'll get. You'll get bored or you won't get. I don't know about bored, but you'll be like, oh, I got to go make an actual life for myself. But you want to arrive. I. This is how it works for me, I guess, is my. The cycles of my life are. I'll. I'll do some crazy travel whatever thing to the point of exhaustion.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

Where I'm like, okay, I need to have, like, home base in a real life. And then I go back home. And then I. Immediately. Not immediately, but after. And then I go back home. I clean my room, I make. I buy groceries. I buy a spoon and a fork and a.

[Chloe]

One spoon and one fork.

[Lyle Sergek]

I have one fork. I have one spoon. I have one fork.

[Chloe]

You have one spoon and one fork.

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm a single man living alone. Why do I need more than one spoon?

[Chloe]

What if you have a lady come over or a man. I don't want to.

[Lyle Sergek]

You know, if I have a lady or a man come over. I don't know. We'll. I'll. Why do we need a. I'll make. What makes.

[Chloe]

I don't know. People, you know? Well, Lyle.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

You know another thing that women like.

[Lyle Sergek]

Go ahead.

[Chloe]

A man that cooks.

[Lyle Sergek]

We were just in. So hold on, Tristan, we're back to your email. But we were just. I just had a discussion with my sister because I told her that I'm in a. I'm in an era where I. I go through these multiple. I'm in an era where I don't really care how I look. And so I'm waiting. Okay, my. So this is an audio only experience, but my hair is fucked up, my beard is fucked up. I'm wearing a shirt that isn't. Doesn't make me look like an adult. My pants are bad. I don't look like a regular guy. I look like a schlub. And I told Chloe, I know. I appreciate. I think truth is honest. I think truth is love.

[Chloe]

Truth is love. Don't love your job. Job your love. Have you seen that?

[Lyle Sergek]

No. What is it?

[Chloe]

Some dumb influencer thing? This like one of those people that are like, they do podcasts about, you know, waking up at 3 o' clock in the morning. So that way you maximize your day of productivity to be a boss.

[Lyle Sergek]

Babe, what does it mean to job your love?

[Chloe]

No one knows. But she said I learned to don't just. Don't just love your job. Job your love.

[Lyle Sergek]

Oh, that makes. Okay, make. No, make your love. No, it makes your love. Make love your job.

[Chloe]

Go on.

[Lyle Sergek]

So Chloe, and so I told Chloe was like, you should get a haircut and trim your beard and do it. And I told Chloe, I'm like, I need to lose 40 to. I need to lose 30 to 40 pounds first before I care. So I'm just don't. I just don't care about the rest of how I look right now. And, and once I lose 30 to 40 pounds, I'll be like, okay, I'm going to now commit myself to trying to look like a normal attractive man. And then I'll do all the other stuff and that. And this is how. And to you. You think that that's really fucking stupid.

[Chloe]

And I would if whatever. Women or men? Anyone? Really? Anyone? Please give your thoughts back to my brother. Please write in if you're listening. Give your thoughts. I think that's silly because you are giving yourself a timeline of I am gonna look good maybe in six to seven months. But as we've just talked about, life is fleeting and you don't have a long time on this earth and you should be spending as much time as possible trying to feel good. And a lot of times the best way to feel good about yourself and to be happy is ultimately when you look good. Example, I really don't like my natural hair. And so I showered this morning and I blew blow Drew blue dro, blow dried it, whatever. And I'm feeling immediately better about how my day is going to go. And I think that this idea that you're like going to wait six to seven or even longer than that to just, like, look good and feel good is silly because you could do those things as I was listing all of the things that I think you should do.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah, but I would. But I'd still be. I'd still be. Yeah, but I'd still be fat. I would still. That's like. And that's like 70% of the issue.

[Chloe]

But if you can fix 30% of the issue right now, why wouldn't you?

[Lyle Sergek]

Because I'd rather live.

[Chloe]

Because I'm just trying to live to 0 or 100%.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay, actually, you know what? Actually, you know what it is? I think part of it might be fear based. Okay, you know why?

[Chloe]

Why?

[Lyle Sergek]

Because right now, in my head, I'm fantasizing about the potential of how good.

[Chloe]

I could look, and you're afraid of the actual.

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm. I'm fantasizing about the potential of good I can look. And I think. I think I can look pretty good. I just need to lose 30 to 40 pounds.

[Chloe]

But I think that you're. You're missing the forest through the trees of like. This is gonna sound really mean, and I don't want.

[Lyle Sergek]

No, no, it's not gonna hurt the people. No, please, you're not. You're not gonna hurt my feelings. I want you to.

[Chloe]

No, I'm not worried about you hurting your feelings. I'm worried about the people being like, wow, Lyle's sister's a huge bitch. I think that you have potential, but it's not just in your weight. I think that you have a lot of areas that you could improve on.

[Lyle Sergek]

And I, like, physically? Like, physically? Yeah, like. Yeah, I know. No, I'm aware.

[Chloe]

And so I think that if you do those things, then maybe you'll feel less. Like your weight is, like such a big deal.

[Lyle Sergek]

But I'm afraid. Here's the thing, right? Is like, if I'm leaning in to being schlubby, then every day I look in the mirror, I'm like, oh, okay, that's for now, you know? But if I get my hair cut and I let my nails grow out and I don't bite them and I wear a nice shirt and I do my beard and I look in the mirror, I know what's good. I know what I'm going to think. I'm going to look in the mirror and I'm going to go, fuck, I'm still fat. But If I lose £40 and then I do all that stuff, I'm going to look in the mirror and be like, I Knew it. I knew I could be an attractive man.

[Chloe]

But. But you might even look in the mirror when you, you're not thinking of. The other side of it is that you might look at yourself in the mirror when you do all those other things and think, wow, even though I'm still overweight, I look pretty good.

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm gonna look in the mirror and I'm gonna go, I bet I would look really good If I lost 40 pounds. So I just rather do all.

[Chloe]

You still look good with losing £40. And what I was also trying to impress upon him is, you know, we are both single and we are both interested in dating and getting married and having kids and, and the apps are abysmal these days as I'm sure many of you out there feel the same way. And so if some, some girl is walking around and sees you when you've made those 30% changes, she might think, oh, that guy is good looking. Sure, he could lose 30 pounds, but that's fine.

[Lyle Sergek]

But I won't even clock that because.

[Chloe]

Well, she might come up to you. Why would you. That doesn't happen.

[Lyle Sergek]

That doesn't happen.

[Chloe]

You don't know that.

[Lyle Sergek]

But I wouldn't.

[Chloe]

You definitely don't know that because you look like a schlub. Right?

[Lyle Sergek]

But, but it, I, I won't clock it because I'm not even. Tristan, we're gonna get back to your mom. But.

[Chloe]

Sorry, Tristan.

[Lyle Sergek]

But the, but the problem is that I, I think you need to have the confidence to believe that someone is even, like, right. I don't have the, like when I'm like, talking about, like when I'm about the world. Right now, I don't even have the. And it's not a lack of like, so it's not poor self esteem. Like, I have, I think, pretty strong. I think I'm, you know, I think, you know, I have a lot to offer. But I am like just, you know, I like being situationally aware and I'm aware of the situation in which I'm overweight. And so I'm. When I talk to people, I'm always, I'm like, I just don't have the confidence of, like, this person's romantically interested in me. So I'm not, I'm just not even gonna clock it right now. So I'll just do all of it at once. But anyway, the spoon thing, I record that.

[Chloe]

I think this is silly and I really hope that somebody.

[Lyle Sergek]

I've been arguing with a lot of my friends about the spoon thing, not the spoon thing.

[Chloe]

The. The thing that we were just talking about. I would like for somebody to please clue in that I'm right. Anyway, go back to the spoon thing.

[Lyle Sergek]

The spoon thing. There's a lot of thing. I think there's a lot of stuff between. There's a lot. Like, there's a lot of good foots that I can put forward to a prospective romantic interest before she finds out that I only have one spoon. And there's enough time for you to.

[Chloe]

Get a second spoon.

[Lyle Sergek]

Listen, also, by the way, listen, I have a look, I got a lot of stuff I can offer. A lot. Okay? I'm like, listen, we can go places, we can do things, whatever. Like, it's like, I only have one spoon. Oh, who gives a shit? Let's go to. Let's go to somewhere that they have spoons.

[Chloe]

Oh, to buy more. You wouldn't think about buying more spoons.

[Lyle Sergek]

What am I gonna do with. What am I going to do with more than one spoon?

[Chloe]

How many spoons I have?

[Lyle Sergek]

How many spoons do you have?

[Chloe]

Probably 20.

[Lyle Sergek]

What. What the fuck do you need 20 spoons for?

[Chloe]

Because I make. I cook a lot at my house and I don't want to do dishes. I put my spoons in the dishwasher, and so then eventually, like, I'll run out of spoons, then I'll do the dishes.

[Lyle Sergek]

I have one spoon. I use it occasionally and if I need to use. Actually, you know what? I use it every night lately because I've been making a lot of hot chocolate and I'll wash the spoon with some soap, and then I have a clean spoon. Why do I need 20 of those spoons?

[Chloe]

I. I'm no longer interested in trying to convince you of this. Having more spoons. Let's go back to trizzy.

[Lyle Sergek]

So anyway, the reason we first got. The reason we got on the spoon thing is like, yeah, I'm like. I'm like, I'm tired of spoons. I want to leave domestic life. So I go in and out of, like, wanting to travel and wanting to be stable. But I think for you, since you're really fucking young and you have no responsibilities right now, I think. And I think you should do it, you know, because you're all. Because you all. You're gonna remember that stuff. Like, I really. I really remember all the. Every, Every, like, adventure I've been on and every trip. I remember it all very well. It, like, these are, like, really core memories that I have any time I do anything like that. And so. And also, by the way, it's really, like, when you look into this shit, it's not that expensive to. To travel. Especially, like, if you want to, like, hitchhike. Especially, dude, for you, if you want to hitchhike across Belgium. I mean, how much does that cost? To hitch? To hitch? I don't know what the hitchhiking situation is.

[Chloe]

Like, you know what they say. But youth is wasted on the young.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

So you're young and you have plenty of time to use that bachelor's degree and that master's degree. So you should just, if you have the financial means or if you have the means to, you know, do one of those cool things where you work in, like, a coffee shop in fucking Munich for a month or whatever it is that you want to end up doing. Or you can work somewhere in Japan for a little, like, working some busboy job or whatever it is. I think you should do that.

[Lyle Sergek]

So. Yeah. And also you make a video about it. Why not? I would watch that sounds cool.

[Chloe]

Sure.

[Lyle Sergek]

You know, make a video hitchhiking across Belgium. Yeah, make a video about it.

[Chloe]

There's this guy that's doing a bike ride from, like, Portugal to Japan. I get his videos sometimes on reels and I'll watch them.

[Lyle Sergek]

So, yeah, I don't know. I don't. I guess, like, if your whole thing is, like, I'm gonna do it without. Yeah, like, yeah, going to Japan for a month, that'll cost some money. Not that it'll cost mainly money to get over there, but once.

[Chloe]

Well, that's what I'm saying. If you want to go work in Munich for a little bit, you can stay at a hostel. Probably pretty che for Brussels. You're a year in Brussels. Like, I don't know, just save up some money, keep working, doing whatever it is that you're doing. Save up some money and travel around and hitchhike and do some. You live in Europe, so easy to do that stuff.

[Lyle Sergek]

And you know what, Tris? You know what is great? Tristan will come back and he won't have any spoon. He won't have no spoons, but he'll have memories, memories. And I think memories. Memories last longer than spoons.

[Chloe]

Okay, I have five more minutes. Okay, so we can do one more.

[Lyle Sergek]

All right, let's do one more. Let's see. Okay, we've. I'll. I'll. I'll finish it up. I'll read a few more emails after you leave. Okay, let's do this one. Okay. This is from Flux.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

Subject line. I'm the DMT guy. The DMT do you know what DMT is? No. DMT is like a very powerful psychedelic drug. I've never taken it. Okay. Joe Rogan talks about it a lot.

[Chloe]

My hero.

[Lyle Sergek]

Hey, Lyle, I'm Flux, the guy you talked to about my DMT experiences this year and was in your podcast. Okay. I think I remember this guy because he talked. I think this guy was if this. There's been a few people that have called into the show about doing dmt, and I think this was the guy who talked about, like, just doing it like every day for like a while.

[Chloe]

Not my journey, but. Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay. Just wanted to check in and say hi. I haven't done DMT in a while, but I don't have any regrets. In fact, I'm glad I did. I've been learning a lot about parapsychology and it's been great. Unrelated, my lady broke up with me today because of numerous reasons.

[Chloe]

Really funny. Okay, go on.

[Lyle Sergek]

But it came down to cohesiveness in our relationship.

[Chloe]

Cohesive.

[Lyle Sergek]

Wait, you're gonna. You're gonna hate. You're gonna hate this.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

As a gamer, it was really hard to not text her back just saying GG's.

[Chloe]

What's G?

[Lyle Sergek]

Oh, yeah. You don't know what that means? Good games.

[Chloe]

Good games.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

So, like, does she play games too?

[Lyle Sergek]

I'm gonna assume she doesn't.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

Which makes this really funny.

[Chloe]

Your teeth are looking good, by the way.

[Lyle Sergek]

Oh, thank you. I went to the dentist.

[Chloe]

You're really. We'll get back to this person's email, but I feel like you're really. You've really mastered your. Your brushing situation.

[Lyle Sergek]

Dental hygiene.

[Chloe]

Dental hygiene.

[Lyle Sergek]

This is another reason I don't have spoons is because you like so many things in life demand your attention. Your teeth, the dishwasher, cooking, every, like, work, family. People want to text you.

[Chloe]

And you can deciding between dental hygiene and having more spoons, kind of.

[Lyle Sergek]

We're deciding between a lot of different things.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

And spoons. Okay. Anyway, sorry. Okay. Sorry. So, yeah, like, if you play. If, like if I'm playing like a video game with someone for a while and then after we finish playing, I'll write back, just text ggs the good games, so.

[Chloe]

Oh, cool.

[Lyle Sergek]

So when this guy, after this guy's relationship ended, he just texted her back and wrote ggs.

[Chloe]

Oh, God. Okay. Sounds like my type of guy. Okay. What else did he say?

[Lyle Sergek]

He said, P.S. come to Alaska. I got you. Okay. I will. I will come to Alaska at some point.

[Chloe]

Yeah, he'll. He'll DM you back on that.

[Lyle Sergek]

Do you have anything to say about this or should we.

[Chloe]

I wish your ex girlfriend the best of luck and I wish you the best of luck with this. I don't think there's anything I have to add. So we can do one more email where we have something to add.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay. This is from Emma.

[Chloe]

We already read Emma's.

[Lyle Sergek]

This is a different Emma.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

Wait, was there another Emma?

[Chloe]

Yeah. Oh, you really do have name blindness.

[Lyle Sergek]

Okay, subject line. Oh, wait. Okay. Okay, subject line. Gen Alpha cooked.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

Hello. I have started working as a para and after only two and a half months, I am going back to lifeguarding like I did in high school. I am 25 years old and by God, have things changed in classrooms. I don't know what has happened to the public education system, but now kids run the classroom. A teacher will be giving a lesson while a kid is doing Fortnite dances in the corner. Yeah, everyone is talking and another kid will be going, shut the fuck up, bitch.

[Chloe]

Oh my God. Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

But all a teacher can really do is be like, we need to make better choices. Friends. I genuinely think this generation is doomed. I know I'm repeating the generational cycle of having a negative outlook on the seceding generation, but I feel like it is very valid. I have really bad insomnia and I can't even feel relaxed when I take my Ambien anymore. I'm glad I am leaving, but at the same time, I feel kind of bad. I'm always switching from one job to the next. I fear I may never attain a steady job. Anyway, I hope you are having a good day.

[Chloe]

Wow.

[Lyle Sergek]

Wait, what's a para?

[Chloe]

Para. What?

[Lyle Sergek]

She just wrote. I have started working as a para.

[Chloe]

Paralegal maybe.

[Lyle Sergek]

I assume whatever this she's working. I assume whatever she's doing is that a school is at a school. But then she says she's a lifeguard. But whatever she's doing, she has some experience being in a school.

[Chloe]

I agree with you. I think the kids are cooked. But I think. I think phones and iPads have ruined us.

[Lyle Sergek]

But when you think about it, right, like we, like, I think the short form video brain rot is kind of new. But like we grew up with our own version of this stuff. You know, we grew up with like Facebook and Snapchat and like we had our phones with us in school and we did all this shit.

[Chloe]

I mean, you're younger than me, but I mean I. When I was in middle school, all I had was a flip phone because that's what was around. And I didn't get like an iPhone, I guess, really until I was in the middle of. To end of high school. And Snapchat was big towards the end of high school for me. And Instagram was like kind of like sophomore year of high school. So when I, I mean, I was in middle school in 2007, we didn't have iPads. IPads weren't around. And at school you didn't bring laptops. You didn't have iPads. And there weren't memes. There were totally memes in 2007.

[Lyle Sergek]

There were totally memes in 2007.

[Chloe]

There were not memes in 2007. Maybe there were, but I. If there were memes, it wasn't like now with like Daniel. The white vans or whatever that thing is. I just outing my.

[Lyle Sergek]

There's shit like that, like the 6, 7 thing.

[Chloe]

I don't really get it, but like apparently is ruining teachers and parents lives.

[Lyle Sergek]

No, but we had, we had things like that.

[Chloe]

But you're younger than me, so you had it like, what you felt like you had it younger because you don't like, remember, Like.

[Lyle Sergek]

I don't. I. I'm trying to think of like specific examples, but like, I don't know, there's like flash mobs and like, that's so different. The Harlem shake. And that's what she said. And what like there's like shit like this has been happening for.

[Chloe]

Yeah, but that's like brain rot. It's maybe like, maybe it's like the first version of brain rot, but this is like real brain. Like the kids these days have real brain fucking rot.

[Lyle Sergek]

You know what I. You know what I was thinking about? This kind of actually made me happy to think about is. I don't know if I talked about this on the podcast already, but do you. Do you know, do you remember the meme when the Minions movie came out of. Kids, like, dressing up in suits to go to the Minions movie. Did you see that?

[Chloe]

No, but that's really funny.

[Lyle Sergek]

It's really funny. I saw that and I was like, that's exactly something that me and my friends would have done in middle school. And it's nice to see. I don't know, I was just. It made me happ, like, ah, that's something me and my friends would have done in middle school. And I'm like, I don't think that these kids are that different from like.

[Chloe]

Well, they're not that different.

[Lyle Sergek]

What scares the things that I. The things that spook me.

[Chloe]

Social media is really spooky.

[Lyle Sergek]

The Thing that spooks me is that like. And you know, I, when I was, when I was like. I mean, even before middle school, like when I was like in elementary school, I would make these little YouTube videos. Yeah, I made a video once where like, I blamed 911 on Mickey Mouse.

[Chloe]

That's.

[Lyle Sergek]

And you used to make videos with your friends too. But like, we, we made them and we, we made them and we upload them on YouTube. But like, the way that short form video works is like you can be fake fucking around and have like a million people see it in like a way that is different from like the YouTube of all that spooks me. There's this Instagram channel called like Gossip. I don't know exactly what it's called, but I'll make it up. It's like Gossip of Frederick High School.

[Chloe]

That's. I mean, we had. When I was in college, there was Yik Yak, right? Like, people would spread rumors about other people. I mean, Georgia, I went to UGA and Georgia was too big for it to like, really make any difference to anybody. But yeah, now, now, like Gossip of Frederick High School or whatever it is. That shit is pernicious.

[Lyle Sergek]

There's. And. And these, these kids are like, you like the Fred. The Gossip of Frederick High School, whatever it is, it. It says like, like the kids are using AI to make these like high production value videos of being like, what? Teachers are totally cooked. And then it's like, you know, Mr. Bernstein and it's like his school photo that like, has like evil like devil horns or whatever the fuck. And it's like, nobody can do anything about this.

[Chloe]

Oh, we're doomed as a society. AI is ruining all of our media literacy.

[Lyle Sergek]

We were, but I. We were doing shitty. We were doing things like that.

[Chloe]

But it was less. Seemed less insidious when we were doing it back in the day. But now it's like, it feels more insidious because it's more everywhere. Like, things wouldn't go viral or things wouldn't really be that spread back in 2007, but in 2005, 25 people are just.

[Lyle Sergek]

I think it's just about, like, you're inherently a dick when you're 14. I was on the train.

[Chloe]

You are inherently a dick when you're 14, that's for sure.

[Lyle Sergek]

I was on the train yesterday. I don't know why I was thinking about this. If I have kids, I'd like. I think I'd like to have kids. If, If I have a kid, I'm gonna. At some point. Like, when they're like, 10 or whatever, I'm gonna sit them down. I'm gonna be like, I need you to know that the one. The one thing that you will regret is the times that you were a dick to people.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Lyle Sergek]

Because I think about things I did or said to people when I was, like, in high school and middle school.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Lyle Sergek]

And I feel every. I feel a strong sense of, like, oh, that was a dick thing to.

[Chloe]

I think more about, like, my. The embarrassing moment. Like, Like. Like me not having real consciousness. Wow. I'm really savvy. We're gonna get into a really good conversation, but I'm already 10 minutes late for a meeting.

[Lyle Sergek]

Oh, you are? Okay.

[Chloe]

But I decided that I wanted to stay on with my brother and talk about how Gen Alpha is cooked. My last sentence on this is that I think every generation. I think Emma said it right. Every generation just shits on the other ones. You know, you're Gen Z. I'm millennial. I'm like Gen. I'm like millennial. Gen Z. Cusp. And, you know, we're always going to think that everybody younger than us is dumb and stupid, and I think that's just kind of how it goes sometimes.

[Lyle Sergek]

Chloe, thank you very much for joining us on the Therapy Gecko podcast. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before you go?

[Chloe]

I would like to say I would love for people to weigh in on our conversation about your looks.

[Lyle Sergek]

Yeah, please, please write in our comments what you think. Yeah.

[Chloe]

And I would love the everybody to have a happy Thanksgiving and spend time with the people that you care about, whoever those people are. And Lyle and I will be spending a lot of time together this week.

[Lyle Sergek]

Beautiful.

[Chloe]

And that's all she wrote.

[Lyle Sergek]

Well, thanks for being here, Chloe. We're gonna take a quick break and then I will be back to read a few more emails. Gek Bless, everyone.

[Chloe]

Geck bless.

[Lyle Sergek]

Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators of some kind of. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world whatever it is that you do best. You can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live Together. Hey folks, I am very excited to finally have a therapy sponsor for this podcast that takes insurance. This episode is sponsored by Rula. They are a healthcare company on a mission to make getting therapy from a licensed professional easy and affordable. They accept most major insurance plans and the average copay per session is only $15. Every therapist on Rula is carefully vetted and chosen for their expertise, so you will always know that you're in good hands. Thousands have already trusted Rula to support them on their journey toward improved mental health and overall well being. Head on over to rula.com gecko that's R U L A dot com gecko to get started today. After you sign up, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support this show and let them know that therapy Gecko sent you. Go to r u l a.com gecko and take the first step toward better mental health. Today you deserve quality care from someone who cares.

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[Lyle Sergek]

And we're back. And it's just me. My sister is gone. Well, she's in a different room than me. She's still on the planet. That was nice. I liked that. I like having another person to do these calls and emails with. I want to have more guests on the show, folks. If you have ideas, if you have people that you want to see who are just out in the zeitgeist of the Internet that you think would be good guests for this show, let me know in the Spotify comments or send me an email or a DM or whatever. If you have anyone who you think would be a fun guest for this podcast, I'm gonna try to have more guests and reach out to more people. Just. Just so I don't have to be alone, you know, just so I don't have to be alone. I don't mind it, though. Okay. All right, let's look at some more emails, shall we? This is from Melissa. Subject line, Compassion Burnout. Hi, Geck. I am a longtime listener and fan of the podcast. I think what you do is incredible, and I recommend your podcast to all my friends. Thank you, Melissa. That's very sweet. I recently have been dealing with a lot of compassion burnout. I didn't know what that meant until my co worker told me. There's a label for how I'm feeling. I work in the dog grooming industry and my job requires a lot of patience. I mean, what dog have you met that likes taking a bath? In my field of work, I deal with a lot of people who bring their dogs to me in really rough shape, often needing to be stripped of extremely matted coats or dealing with skin conditions and other issues caused by neglectful pet parents. I am asked daily to do impossible tasks to groom dogs with extreme behavior issues and groom puppies start to finish with impossible time constraints. I have been feeling like my patience is running thin with both people and animals. I pride myself on my ability to be patient and kind and to treat every animal I work with with respect and compassion. But being overloaded with work in a corporate salon has left me drained. I don't have the patience anymore for a job I once loved. I feel like people who work in similar jobs, even healthcare, hospitality, and education, can relate. And I want to say that compassion burnout is real. Maybe you have felt this way. Geck, I am wondering if you have any advice. What does self care look like for you when you have a free day to just be yourself? What does that look like? Geck? Bless. Thank you for your time. So here's kind of my thought process on this, and I'm about to say a bunch of bullshit. And all this bullshit I'm saying is not things that I've mastered, but it's things I'd like to master. It's things I'd like to. It's think I'd like to ascribe to. So basically, I think at a certain point, no matter how awesome you are, you know, or. Or how awesome you want to be, you just can't. You know what I mean? You just can't. And I used to want to be the. The awesomest guy and respond to everyone with extreme kindness and amazingness. And I wanted every interaction that anyone ever had with me to be positive. And I wanted them to go back to their friends and be like, oh, I spoke to the therapy. Gecko is amazing. He's such a great guy. But you just can't. You just can't, dude. You just can't do it. And the sooner you realize that as a human being going through the world, even as a human being going through the world with, like, good intentions, you're gonna piss someone off. You're just gonna do it. You're just gonna piss people off. You're gonna not be amazing 100% of the time. And I. I've accepted that. I've just accepted it. I'm like, I might have an interaction with someone where they walk away being like, that guy was kind of a dick. And in return, I have my sanity, sort of. You know what I mean? I think the concept of, like, setting yourself on fire to warm everyone else is a real thing, and you just can't do it. I don't. I don't make a withdrawal when there are insufficient funds anymore. I used to, but I. And, and, and this is why I gave the disclaimer in the beginning, because I'm sure I still do in a lot of ways, withdraw when there's insufficient funds. But lately I've gotten better at being like, oh, there's insufficient funds here. I can't be the kind of person that I want to be right now. And I. That used to send me in a big fucking spiral because I think when I get burnt out or when I get. When I lose all my energy, I think it's permanent. I'm like, oh, no. I'm like, this forever shit. But it's not. It's just part of a cycle. And so I try to be compassionate to myself and understand when I just don't have it. And it's gonna. You'll piss people off. And that's okay. It's okay. It's okay if you piss some people off. You know, if you're in some. If you're in a gig where you're working with a lot of different people, you can, like, try your best to make it so that as many people as possible have positive interactions with you. But you can never, ever make it. Someone's always going to be pissed off about. About something. So, you know, that's. That's what I would say. My advice is, try your best. But when you see there's insufficient funds, just accept it. Accept it, because there's no point in, like. Like, there's a lot of times, for example, where I try. I sit down and I try to Record this podcast. This happens to me all the time. This happened to me last night. This is the reason why we're doing a geck mail today is because I tried to record this podcast last night, and this guy got out. And I'm gonna tell you something that happens to me all the time, and it's the fucking worst thing. It's the fucking worst. Like, somebody, like, I'll be in the suit, and I'll be recording the show, and I. It's just. I can just tell it's one of those days, maybe. Like, the sun is out and I'm hot and the makeup is, like, staining on my face. Face. And I'm. And I'm just, like. Was pissed off about something else earlier in the day, and I'm just not there. And someone's talking to me, and I can tell. And I don't mean to be a. Whatever. Someone's talking to me, and I can tell. I mean, you guys know how it is. Like, someone's talking to me, and I can tell they're really excited to be on the show. They're, like, really excited to talk, and they. And they've listened to the show, and I'm like, man, this guy's, like, listened to hours of me talk and, like, is really excited to be here and is really excited to talk to me, and I'm just like, fuck. I just know. I feel it in my gut that I cannot provide the therapy gecko experience that this person is excited for, and that's the fuck. And they're also. They're being so nice to me, and I'm like, that's just. It's the fucking worst. Not that they're being nice to me, but it's the fucking worst when I look into my brain and I'm like, fuck. There's insufficient funds for me to be the kind of person that I want to be for this person right now. Like, I just can't do it. It's the worst. It's like a helpless feeling. But. And I used to be. And I. And then they get off the. And then I. This happened yesterday. Like, someone calls in. I just can't do it. And then I can tell that they hang out. I can tell they hang up, and they're like, wow, that was kind of disappointing. And I can tell that they feel bad. And, you know, I used to really beat myself up about it. I used to. And I still do sometimes, but I used to really beat myself up about it, like, thinking about this person, like, being disappointed and especially Considering how much they gave me in terms of like, you know, their time and their enthusiasm. But what am I gonna do? There's insufficient funds in the bank for energy. I can't make myself more than what I am at any given moment. And I don't know if I believe in like powering through that shit, cuz it's. It's worthless because what's that your work is like, when you try to power through burnout, your work is gonna be bad. It's dif. Grooming dogs is maybe a different thing from like recording something, but like, I think in general you're judged more by like the quality of your interactions and the quality of your work and whatnot, more than you are the quantity of it, at least, I guess, in certain fields. And so if the quality of the work that you're doing is gonna be shit because you have insufficient funds in the energy bank, then what's the, what's the point of powering through? I think that's stupid. So I just, I've just learned to accept that this. I'm gonna be shitty in that situation. So I don't know if that's how. I don't. That's my perspective on this, Melissa. When I have a free day to just be myself. I don't believe in free days. Not even in like a productivity bro thing. I'm just like, man, it's all just one life. It's one timeline. I don't know, they're all three days, technically, you know. Anyway. All right, let's continue on. Let's continue on. Thank you for sending. Sending that, Melissa. Let's do one or two more, shall we? All right, this is from. All right, this is from Slayer of Gods subject line into the Wild. I grew up in the suburbs and have lived a pretty average life. Ever since watching your video with the Train Hopper, I've become obsessed with the idea of just disappearing. Dude, shout out the train Hopper. Ora, Orion and trip. Steve. Steven. I'm not really good with names, but I think his name was Steven or Steve. Hold on, I gotta make sure his name is fucking Steve, because I'm pretty sure it is. And he's a true legend of this podcast. I want to get his name right. I'm pretty fucking sure it was Steve. Stephen. Yeah. September 27th. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, Steven. There it is. Yes, Steven, if you haven't already, go listen to I hopped trains for 12 years. That's probably the best episode of this podcast that, that we've recorded. Anyway, ever since watching your video with the Train Hopper, I've become obsessed with the idea of just disappearing, going to really live and experience stuff. I realize that when I come back, my problems will still be waiting for me. And I realize that it isn't really freedom. It's a good adventure, but not a good life and all that. I want to do it despite. I crave this feeling of survival and adventure. I'm curious what you mean by survival, but I found out about a man named Christopher McCandless, aka Alexander Supertramp. Yes, I'm very. I'm very familiar with this guy's story. There's a book and a movie about him called into the Wild. He pretty much decided to adventure all across America until he died in a bus in Alaska. That's the short story. Highly suggest you watch it. I don't. I don't know if I've ever seen the movie, but I have read a lot. I'm very familiar with. Christopher McCandless is his whole deal. There are many different interpretations of it. Here's mine. It is not a cautionary tale. Christopher McCandless is the result of a system that does not allow people to live as they free. Live as they free. I guess he means live free. Okay, long story short on Christopher McCandless. Yeah, he's a guy who basically was like, I'm gonna leave everything behind, and I'm gonna go live in the woods, and I'm gonna survive and leave society. And he died pretty fast after doing that, I think by eating, like, some poisonous berries. And a lot of people think that he was an idiot like, that he essentially just committed suicide. That's what a lot of people think. And then a lot of people think, well, no, he's a. This. In the email, it says he's a martyr. That's what this emailer says, that he's a martyr. And a lot of people think that he's a martyr and that he's basically like, you know, died for the cause of proving the ills of society, I suppose. And, yeah, there's a lot of interpretations of it. Personally. I don't know. I don't know. Right. Because it was a little bit of a throw caution to the wind and let's see what's up kind of a thing. But. Okay, I'm gonna keep reading the email. I'm not saying go die in the woods. I'm saying our lives are dictated by fake rules. You've got one shot at this, so do with it as you please. Every time I hear a train horn, I think about Running away and seeing where it takes me. This thought eats at the back of my head. That's the whole email. Okay, well, I'm gonna speak directly to this emailer. Listen, man. Okay. The whole thing of, like, I lived in the suburbs, I've lived an average life. I've become obsessed with the idea of just disappearing. I'm gonna tell you something, my friend is, in my opinion, you're thinking about this from, like, crazy extremes, very unnecessarily. Like, my friend, go on a trip. You know what I mean? Does it have to be. Does it have to be work a 9 to 5 job in the suburbs or be homeless in the woods? Did those have to be the only two options? You know, go, Go on a trip. Go on an adventure. I highly recommend going on an adventure. I mean, we talked about this earlier in the podcast when Chloe was on here. I remember every adventure I've had in my life, whether the therapy, gecko tours, or trips I took to foreign countries to do shit or things I was doing before the gecko stuff, I remember all of them and I treasure all those memories, I really do. So I recommend doing it. If you've never done some shit like that before, go on an adventure. And it doesn't even. Like the fucking Brussels guy doesn't even have to be something grand. It can just be a big walk across or hitchhike across the place you live in, Right? And then the thing about it's a good adventure but not a good life. I've experienced that too. And I kind of, again, oscillate between really craving a domestic life and really craving adventure. And the thing this emailer said about our lives are dictated by fake rules. Well, I don't. I think it's a diff. I think you've got a different interpretation of it. I don't think the rules that we live by as a society are fake, Ness. I mean, they're. I mean, yeah, they're like. They're a consensus, right? And you're an individual. You can search for your own truth instead of searching for. Instead of abiding by the consensus. But a lot of the times the consensus is a consensus for a reason. You know, like we've reached a consensus that you should not kill other people. And if you do, you will go to a place where you can't be in society anymore and you become a. A warden of the state. And, you know, maybe you think we should be able to kill people and you believe that that's a fake rule. And. And, you know, look, you can do that. You can go and kill people. You probably not. You're probably gonna go to jail or whatever. I don't know if you, if that's your philosophical belief that you should kill people, then you know, you can believe that that's a fake. That can be your truth. But you, but we live amongst each other on the planet, so we come to consensus on fake rules. And I guess, sure, yeah, one of the rules that you're thinking of is like, we need money to survive and we need this and that and the other thing. And if you really want to get by without money and you want to go into the woods and survive, you can do that, but you can have a fucking hard time. That's why we've con. That's why we've reached the consensus on a lot of the things that we have. I'm a big believer in like questioning the kind of like supposed to's of life and I'm a big believer in like trying to find alternative viewpoints to the things that we are told that we have to do and all that stuff. All that stuff is great. But I'm also a big believer of like, you know, I'll meet like a 66 year old boomer who did everything the way you're supposed to and he's got his money and he plays golf and he's got, he makes smoothies with a thing and he seems pretty happy. So I don't know, look, you can follow the rules of society, whatever that means to you, and end up being like, oh, okay. I kind of like these rules. I like having bananas on my shelf, you know, I like having, I like that I go to an office and I have co workers that are around me and I like the routine and I like the stability that might not be for you or maybe you can have a combat. I've, I've kind of in my life developed a bit of a thing where I have a bit of a. I have a combination of the two and I really kind of meticulously worked to have a combination of those two things. And I feel like I've gotten to see the value of going to an office every day and drinking coffee and, you know, having at least one spoon. But I also see the value in being like, fuck all this shit. And you know, go in a, you know, disappear for a little bit because you'll get lonely, man. Like, you can travel, travel all over the place and make those memories, but you'll get fucking lonely. And you need to have some sort of domestic Ish routine that lets you be around other people or else, you know, you'll get lonely and die in the woods. I don't have a joke for this. Do I need. I don't know if I need more jokes. I think I'm gonna just keep talking. Every time I try to make a joke, it sucks. I like the. I like just. We're gonna arrive at humor naturally, he said. This thought eats at the back of my head. Just go on a trip, man. You don't have to disappear. Just go for a week. You don't have to. I like. I don't like. I really don't like seeing these like. I think people get really caught up in these, like, extreme binaries when it's like, brother, just because you have. The reason you're caught up in this binary is because you have this like, fantasy of what it's like to disappear. But your fantasy is worth diarrhea. It's nothing. So go out and do it for like a little bit and then you'll see what it's actually like. And then you come back and then you're gonna fantasize about what it was. You're gonna look back on what your actual experience was in a fantasy way. And then it's just a repeating cycle. That's. That's how I've experienced a lot of this stuff. Okay, let's do. Let's do like one more. Okay. Security alert. There's been a new sign in to your Gmail account. We'll deal with that later. Okay. This is from Geno. Subject line seasonal slash holiday candy. Dear Gecko, I have a topic on my mind. I know you definitely are going to have a response to. Mainly what's been on my mind has been the seasonal caramel apple turtles. Those things are fucking badass and I want and need more. But they only stocked them during Christmas time. I discovered them while stocking the seasonal area of my Walmart at 2am and they changed my life. They taste like a regular turtle mixed with crown apple. I'm hoping that they stock them again next Christmas. If they don't, I don't know how to feel about having had such a delectable treat I can never get again. They're more seasonal candies that are pretty bomb. Like the Holiday Punch Sweet tart ropes and the SpongeBob Gummy Krabby Patties. Wait, that's not. That's not season. Gummy spongebob Gummy Krabby Patties are not seasonal. Also, I don't know why people like Them. I think they taste like shit. They taste like eating a fucking rubber eraser. Number one, though, for me is the Caramel Apple Turtles. I'll be waiting for them and hoping they come back now. Hope you have a good day. I'm gonna get my lazy ass back to work now. Sincerely, whatever name you choose to give me. Well, I gave you the name Geno, so I guess that'll be your name. I'm gonna look this up. Caramel Apple Turtles. Are they. What brand is this? Ooh, fuck. Shit. Demitz Turtles. Caramel apple. That looks awesome. Okay. Yeah, they're at Walmart. I think you could just get them online, man. Yeah, you can get them on Amazon. Look at that. Oh, there's only two left in stock. Holy shit. Okay. Yeah, you can just buy them on Amazon, brother. Milk chocolate pecan caramel apple. That looks awesome. I really can't. You know, the thing is, is, I mean, I love this kind of stuff. You guys know me. I love candies a lot. I've been working on trying to not be doing all that, but fuck, man. Fuck. Sometimes it just feels like the meaning of, like, if I go too long without eating candy, I start to be like. I know. I really start to be like, I don't think there's a point of living if I can't have a little bit of candy now and then. Maybe that's bad, but that's just my reality. These look so good. I bet there is 200 calories in every one of these milk chocolate pecan caramel apple turtle bites. And I bet it's always worth it. I. This is unrelated. I have a hack for you guys. This is an endorsement. I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna free. I know. I know that there's a lot of ads on the podcast. I lowered the limit. I lowered the amount of ads so there will be less ads. Thank you for bearing with me on the ads, but I'm gonna do an ad. I'm do a free ad of my own volition. I. Since I hereby endorse Almond Breeze Eggnog for the holiday season, this is a free endorsement because I love eggnog so much. It's the most unreasonable substance that exists on the planet. I think there's. There's about a thousand calories in every sip, and it's just not reasonable. It's just not. You can't drink it unless if you're really giving up and it's the most delicious thing on the planet. Almondbreeze came up with this, like, Almond milk eggnog where you can like really drink a full glass of it and it's not in its. I don't know what the cat. What's the calorie content? Almond Breeze Egg Eggnog. Almond Breeze Eggnog. It's got like 70 calories a cup. That's like incredible. So I, I've been, I've been really slamming that stuff down because yeah, regular eggnog is just not. You can't do it or else you're, you're gonna, you can gain like £10 off of just one carton of eggnog. It's so good. You'd know. What I hate about this is the thing I hate about like being like, if like a fatter guy is that I have all these things I love like eggnog and candy corn and whatnot. And I really. It's like gambling or something where it's like they, they really are getting most of their income from a small percentage of folks like me who are eating this stuff. And there's nobody else to commiserate with because anytime I bring up eggnog, people are like disgusted by it. People like, I don't fucking eat candy corn. I don't fucking eat eggnog. Or like, if eggnog comes out, because sometimes people buy eggnog and they have it at functions. No one drinks it. It's just festive. And somebody will have like a little shot of eggnog and be like, it's too sweet for me, dude. Fuck you. I don't know what that means. I'll just, you know, down a whole cup or a carton and then I'll pour another one. Before you know it, it's a whole carton gone. But yeah, the almond milk version is pretty good. I don't know if this made for good podcast material, but I'm glad I got it out there and I'm hoping that you get your turtles Geno. Alright, I think this was the Therapy Gecko Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas special, whatever it was. Thank you again to my sister Chloe for coming on. Let me know again in like whatever Instagram, DMS or email or whatever it is, who you, who you want to see on as a guest on the Therapy Gecko podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Have a good Thanksgiving. Have a good holiday season. I'll be back with another episode on Sunday and that's it. Oh yes. Go to therapygecko tour.com. i'm going on a tour in 2026. Uh, I'm 100% hitting a bunch of places on the West coast first. Uh, so if you live on the west coast of the U.S. if you live anywhere on the planet, go to therapygeckotour.com and give me your phone number so I can text you. I don't spam people's texts. I don't like do so you'll only hear from me if I'm coming to your town and I want to do I'm doing a bunch of shows in 2026 of me telling stories and doing a little bit of. Yeah, a little bit of storytelling, a little bit of therapy geckoing. So please go to therapygeckotour.com and give me your phone number email so I can let you know when I'm coming to your town. And aside from that gecko bless. See you guys around the universe. Thank you very much. Therapy kept goes doing it right, teaching.

[Chloe]

You how to live your life.

[Lyle Sergek]

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[Chloe]

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[Lyle Sergek]

Hey folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to the show are creators of some kind and whatever it is you guys do on TikTok doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. So check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live Together.

[Chloe]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.