THE LONE COSPLAYER

Summary

Podcast Summary: Therapy Gecko – THE LONE COSPLAYER

Episode Information:

• Title: THE LONE COSPLAYER
• Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)
• Release Date: June 25, 2025
• Description: An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing.

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1. Introduction and Caller Connection (00:00 – 03:08)

The episode begins with a series of advertisements, setting the stage before introducing the main conversation between Lyle and the caller, Matt, also known as "Puffy."

2. Matt's Personal Struggles and Background (03:08 – 06:03)

Matt initiates the conversation by sharing his recent life challenges:

• Relationship Breakdown: "I was in a relationship for a little less than two years, and it ended catastrophically..." (04:05)
• Battle with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Matt explains how BPD affects his ability to accept affection and maintain friendships.

Key Quote:

• Puffy: "It's really hard for me to accept that other people like me and other people want to be around me." (04:10)

3. Impact of BPD on Relationships and Work (06:03 – 09:26)

Matt delves deeper into how BPD has complicated his relationships:

• Trust Issues: Difficulty maintaining friendships, even with ex-partners' friends.
• Work Environment: He works at an escape room company, likening escape room engineers to unsung heroes.

Key Quote:

• Puffy: "Being in the same habitat all the time is tough to break the mold of how I view my own self-image." (08:09)

4. Solo Traveling and Social Anxiety (09:26 – 16:09)

The discussion shifts to Matt's desire to solo travel and attend conventions despite his social anxiety:

• Fear of Judgment: Concerned about being perceived as weird when traveling alone.
• Desire for Community: Wants to engage in events like Comic Con and PAX but feels hesitant.

Key Quotes:

• Puffy: "It feels like I receive a lot of judgment for doing things alone." (06:36)
• Lyle: "If you're at an anime convention and you try to say hi to a guy and he's shugs you off, it doesn't matter." (47:43)

5. Coping Mechanisms and Creative Outlets (16:09 – 22:23)

Matt discusses his hobbies and interests as ways to cope and build self-esteem:

• Creative Projects: Making LED signs and 3D printing hexagon lights.
• Potential Business Ventures: Considering selling his creations at conventions.

Key Quote:

• Puffy: "I'm trying to reshape my thought into 'nothing matters, so you should just try everything.'" (21:16)

6. Medication and Therapeutic Support (22:23 – 25:04)

The conversation touches on Matt's use of medication and therapy:

• Medications: Quetapoline and Seroquel to manage BPD symptoms.
• Therapeutic Challenges: Struggles with internalizing self-worth despite external encouragement.

Key Quotes:

• Puffy: "I take Quetapoline and Seroquel. Quetapoline is pretty good..." (22:20)
• Matt: "The effort and what you're doing does matter, even if it doesn't work out." (15:53)

7. Host's Advice on Overcoming Social Barriers (25:04 – 40:48)

Lyle offers practical advice to Matt on navigating social anxiety and pursuing solo travel:

• Engaging Online Communities: Join Discord servers related to interests before attending events.
• Persistence: "Keep putting yourself out there and keep trying." (38:36)
• Managing Expectations: Understanding that encountering a few negative interactions is normal.

Key Quotes:

• Lyle: "You just need to put forth any effort to chat with people on Discord beforehand or go to a meetup." (28:00)
• Lyle: "Do your thing... It is what you are trying to avoid." (36:40)

8. Encouragement and Positive Reinforcement (40:48 – 58:00)

Lyle continues to motivate Matt, emphasizing the importance of taking small steps and maintaining consistency:

• Building Self-Esteem: Encourages Matt to trust in his abilities and continue his creative projects.
• Finding Joy in Effort: Even unsuccessful attempts contribute to personal growth.

Key Quotes:

• Lyle: "Do it scared, then realize it's not as bad as you thought it was." (40:39)
• Lyle: "You're nowhere near past the amount of crazy that you have to be to be unable to make friends at an anime convention." (49:56)

9. Final Encouragement and Closing Remarks (58:00 – 99:49)

The episode wraps up with Matt expressing gratitude for the conversation and continued encouragement from Lyle:

• Commitment to Change: Matt commits to pushing himself to attend conventions and engage more socially.
• Positive Outlook: Reinforcement that making an effort is a success in itself.

Key Quotes:

• Puffy: "I'm pretty happy with it. I'm glad I was able to finally reach out to you." (52:39)
• Lyle: "I hope you do it. Please do it." (53:29)

Closing Lines:

• Puffy: "I want to say I love your content... and pay attention to who says bless you when you sneeze." (57:40)
• Lyle: "Do things... You should go do things." (82:53)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Matt on Relationship and BPD:

  • 04:10: "It's really hard for me to accept that other people like me and other people want to be around me."

• Matt on Work:

  • 08:09: "I'm just trying to do really fun stuff, but at the same time, it's a bit of a train wreck."

• Lyle on Solo Traveling:

  • 28:00: "You just need to put forth any effort to chat with people on Discord beforehand or go to a meetup."

• Matt on Medication:

  • 22:20: "I take Quetapoline and Seroquel. Quetapoline is pretty good..."

• Lyle on Social Anxiety:

  • 38:36: "You just got to learn... that relies on other people is not necessary."

• Matt on Envy and Self-Discovery:

  • 89:07: "I just envy those people that are very steadfast and know what they want."

• Closing Encouragement:

  • 53:29: "I hope you do it. Please do it."

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Insights and Conclusions

• Intersection of Mental Health and Social Life: Matt's experience highlights how mental health challenges like BPD can significantly impact one's social interactions and self-esteem.

• Importance of Persistence: Both Matt and Lyle emphasize the necessity of persistent effort in overcoming social barriers, suggesting that small, consistent steps can lead to meaningful connections.

• Creative Outlets as Coping Mechanisms: Engaging in creative projects, such as 3D printing and making LED signs, serves as a therapeutic activity for Matt, helping him channel his energy positively.

• Role of Medication and Therapy: While medication provides some relief, Matt underscores the ongoing struggle with internal self-worth, indicating that medication is just one part of a broader coping strategy.

• Practical Advice for Solo Travelers: Lyle offers actionable steps for those feeling isolated, such as engaging with online communities before attending events, to ease the process of meeting new people.

Useful for Listeners

For individuals grappling with similar issues, this episode provides a candid look into the challenges of maintaining self-esteem and social connections while dealing with mental health disorders. The practical advice and empathetic dialogue offer both comfort and actionable steps for personal growth and overcoming social anxiety.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Lyle]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Lyle]

Create at Designer Shoe Warehouse we believe that shoes are an important part of, well, everything from first steps to first.

[Matt]

Dates, from all nighters to all time personal bests.

[Puffy]

From building pillow forts to building a.

[Lyle]

Life for all the big and small.

[Rat]

Moments that make up your whole world.

[Matt]

DSW is there and we've got just the shoes.

[Lyle]

Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at brag worthy prices.

[Matt]

At your DSW store or dsw.com hello.

[Puffy]

Hi. Do you hear me?

[Lyle]

Hi. What's your name?

[Puffy]

My name's Matt.

[Lyle]

Matt. When I was a young child I was. I went to the jcc, the Jewish Community Center Day camp or maybe I was in kindergarten or some, some. And there was a guy, he used to work there. His name was Mr. Matt. And he had a hook for a hand. He didn't have a hand, he had a hook. And he was a cool guy. I don't think I. Yeah, I was a Little intimidated by him when I was a child, because that's just the nature of that.

[Puffy]

A man with a hook.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I was a little intimidated by him, but now I'm like, oh, what a guy to, you know, really serving his community. You know what I mean? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, Good guy. He might be alive, but. What's your name? Matt. You already.

[Puffy]

My name is Matt.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Puffy]

No, that's good. You can call me. You can call me Matt or. Or I can go by 80s.

[Lyle]

I think Matt is more pronounceable to me than what you just said, but Matt, Yeah. Enough about all this fucking bullshit. What's up, man? How's. How's life? Would you want to talk about today?

[Puffy]

I've been. I've been trying to talk to you for ages. I've been listening for a long time. I actually, I. I've been listening to all the Spotify podcasts, and I actually. I joined the super cast, like, maybe a month ago.

[Lyle]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Puffy]

Yeah, of course, of course. No, I love your content. Thank you. No, I. I've been trying to call for a long time because, like, the past two months of my life have been a little chaotic, a little. A little eventful. Um, more or less. I was in a relationship for a really long time, or not, not a really long time. Like, basically up to a little. A little less than two years. And it ended a little catastrophically where I have a. I have bpd, so that's like borderline personality disorder.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Puffy]

So it's really hard for me to. It's really hard for me to accept that other people like me and other people want to be around me and all that kind of stuff. So it made being friends with my ex's friends really tough, or at least it made it really tough for me to see that they liked me. And the time that we were in a relationship and it ended a little catastrophically, where I held a lie from them for a really long time. And once I told them about that lie during, like, a mental health episode, they broke up with me. For good reason, frankly. And then they reached out to me and asked to try again, and I was like, yeah, I'm okay. We can do that. And when. When that happened, we. We both agreed that we would not see or date other people in the meantime. And then their best friend told me that, or the best friend at the time told me that they actually did go on a date with one of our friends and did quote, unquote, something. So that was a little. That was a little. A bit of a backstab. And it made the. The whole BPD part of the life way more difficult to push through because it made me feel like I validated all the facts that the people around me at that time did not. Did not enjoy my. My presence all that much. Also, work is a little strange. I work at this. It's. It's a small company, but it's going to be maybe larger down the road. But I work. I work out, like, an escape room place, and I fix the escape rooms. They're kind of like automated escape rooms where just a bunch of drunk, drunk children. No, not children. Drunk drunk adults and kids just like, break shit in random fucking ways. And it's. It's pretty miserable. But you get to see some pretty fun stuff at times, too.

[Lyle]

America's escape room engineers are some of its most unsung heroes.

[Puffy]

Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah. We really are on the front line. We're. We're like. We're like UPS delivery guys during COVID Obviously, we're on the same tier.

[Lyle]

Definitely. Definitely. At or above that level.

[Puffy]

Yeah, no, 100%. I think the thing that I wanted to talk about the most because you got a lot of experience in this is traveling alone.

[Lyle]

Sure, sure.

[Puffy]

Cause I've. I've. My. My friend group at home is a little strange. The ones who are extroverted don't really like the nerd things all that much. Like, going to, like, conventions or just conventions, I think is probably the best example. And then all of my introverted friends don't really want to go out to conventions because of the whole, like, overwhelming social aspect and all that kind of stuff. So it makes me really scared to start the initiative to go out into the. Into the world and like, visit places alone and try to meet people, because it feels like. Feels like you receive a lot of judgment for doing things alone.

[Lyle]

Well, Matt, you. I. I appreciate all the lore that you just dropped on yourself. I feel like I got. I feel like I very concisely just learned a lot about you in a short period of time. Time.

[Puffy]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Lyle]

No, don't be. No, no, no. But I hope that didn't come off passive aggressive. I. No. Do you have nothing to be sorry for? Wow. Okay. How old are you, Matt?

[Puffy]

I'm 22. I'm gonna be 23 next month.

[Lyle]

All right, cool, man. Well, would you just graduate school or you've been just working?

[Puffy]

Yeah, I graduated a little while ago. Graduated last year. I'm actually hanging out with my with one of my old roommate, sort of. Sort of Athena. And I've been showing. I've been showing them a couple of your clips because I just like content.

[Lyle]

So I actually. Well, yeah, you dropped a lot of lore. I. I'm super down to talk about. I have a lot of thoughts about your particular situation, about wanting to do stuff alone. But do you, I assume, do you see a real therapist to talk about BPD stuff? Yeah.

[Puffy]

Yeah, I do.

[Lyle]

What do they. How. What do they have to say to you? Like, how do they help you with that?

[Puffy]

It's really. It's kind of tough. I think the way that they really help me with it is it clearly seems like they're. They're excited to talk to me as a patient. Like, it seems like whenever I show up in order to talk to them on the days that they're, like, excited to hear more about my life, which that alone is enough to help me at times. But when it comes to what they tell me, it's a lot of. You need to learn how to appreciate yourself before you go out to appreciate other people. Which is really tough because I've tried to do that time and time again, and every single time I end up more relying on other people for that affection rather than trying to get it out on my own. Which is why I kind of want to solo travel. But the same exact thing.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I like. I love. I see we're getting. See, I like this because you brought up a bunch of stuff and then you were like, I don't really want to talk about that. I want to talk about the solo travel thing. But then we talk about the other stuff and we find it all.

[Puffy]

All kind of clicks together.

[Lyle]

Clicks together. Right. That's cool. Okay, so you're. You're kind of on a mission to. You said that the. The bpd and I, I'm as. As I think I've made clear I'm not a real therapist and have no. Don't know anything about psychology. But, like, so BPD is something in it that. That is preventing you from, like, accepting that you have, like, value that other people can find with that. That other people can find value within you. Is that.

[Puffy]

Yeah. You know how people, like, dismiss compliments sometimes when you, like, give them compliments and stuff? It's like that. That is like a very core mechanic to my lifestyle is if someone. I have like an afro, for instance, and a lot of people will be like, oh, yeah, I love your hair. And I'm like, thanks. It kind of just does its own Thing. I don't really do much to maintain it or anything, but at the same time I still do need to accept that people do appreciate that part about me.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah. Is that a problem you've had forever or is that something you like, developed?

[Puffy]

I definitely had it for a very long time in my life. Like when my parents used to try to give me affection, like to say that they love me and all that kind of stuff I would say in my mind or either eventually to them as I got older that I, my parents only say and try to love me because they are my parents.

[Lyle]

That's by the. You know what's funny is A, I, A, that's, I mean you. By, by the fact that you're self aware of what's going on with you. I think you logically know that to be true. But B, even if it was true, that's not a bad reason actually.

[Puffy]

Yeah, I know it's not a. It's not a bad reason but like, you know, it's. I also makes it all feel artificial.

[Lyle]

Well, it's, it's also, also. I'll actually say this. And I'm. Hold on. I'm. I'm. I. We're veering off track of. I mean it's all direct. I hold, I take back what I just said. There's no track at all. It's all one thing. But I mean your parents don't totally don't have to love you at all. So that's.

[Puffy]

Yeah, that's what I've learned from the show for sure is that I. Yeah.

[Lyle]

That'S what I, That's. I could have.

[Puffy]

Make me. Yeah, I could have parents that make me a drug dealer at 17 years old.

[Lyle]

Right, right, bro, that's what I. I was on the phone with my mom today and I was just going off on her about like. I was just so grateful that she, you know, loved me and gave me the foundation for my life. It's five. I've also really, I feel like learned that from doing this show. So, you know, it's not a given necessarily that your parents love you. So I don't, I, I mean we could get into the whole thing of that not being artificial but one. Yeah, I don't, I don't think that's artificial at all because it's just, it's not a given as you know. But what else does your therapist tell you about like the actual logistical process of building up your self esteem?

[Puffy]

Oh man, I don't know if they really have given me much about that. Like they say to just like go out and do the things that, that I appreciate the most. Like I, I like to make neon signs or not neon signs. I like to make LED signs, which I like. I have a, I've had a radio station or not radio station radio show for a little while and I'm making an LED sign of my radio show logo or my old radio show logo. And then I also have been making like these little hexagon lights. You know how people have like those hexagon lights that they hook up on their walls?

[Lyle]

I have a perfect picture of what you're talking about. Yes. Yeah.

[Puffy]

I have a 3D printer and I 3D print my own and I make them using LED strips.

[Lyle]

Cool.

[Puffy]

And one thing, one thing I've been considering doing as the whole solo traveling stuff is using the 3D printer to make those LED signs and then selling them at conventions.

[Lyle]

That's so cool. I love that idea.

[Puffy]

But sounds like a lot of effort. Sounds like a lot of dedication and money and I'm afraid, I'm really afraid to fail. Feel like it feels like a waste of my time or like a waste of effort.

[Lyle]

Mmm hmm. Wow. This is so much I want to talk to you about. I stow we, I. We will, we will get into the solo traveling part of this, but take your time.

[Puffy]

Do your thing.

[Lyle]

What was I going to say? Interesting. Why do you think, I mean, I know why do you think you have low self esteem?

[Puffy]

I feel like I don't really have much of a character that, that defines myself as, as something in particular. You know how, you know how it feels like? It feels like a lot of people in the world have like that thing that they're good at or that thing that they do that makes them like who they are. Like, bro, you, I don't want it.

[Lyle]

I don't 3D print hexagon lights. Sorry.

[Puffy]

I suppose. No, no, you're good. You're good. I like. I haven't made much of those hexagon lights, but like for what I have made of them, I want to, I want to make more and I want to do more. Maybe I can, I can, maybe I can send you a text of what it looks like.

[Lyle]

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Go ahead and send me the. You know what I'm actually realizing also is like, I think, and I know this from like personal like low self esteem shit is like, I am, I am aware that I think when you go. I think when you walk around and you have low self esteem, people try to like you Know, people naturally want to lift you up, your friends want to gas you up, and if you're like, you know, if you're lucky, your friends want to gas you up and your parents, family want to gas you up. But I think when you have an issue like that, I mean, external validation helps. Do not fucking get me wrong. I would, I would. I don't wanna discount that. But I do think that it's. It's a mostly internal issue, you know?

[Puffy]

That's an internal issue.

[Lyle]

That absolutely is the thing. I mean, that's what you even said is you're like, I have. I have a low view of myself. So even. It doesn't matter how much people are telling me this, I just can't believe it, you know?

[Puffy]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Have you. Okay, I guess just got a. I.

[Puffy]

Just sent a video of it.

[Lyle]

Oh, yeah, hold on, I'll take a look. Let's see. Here, let me. Did you send it to this phone number?

[Puffy]

Yeah, I did.

[Lyle]

Okay. All right, I'll take a. Let me see. It might take a second to. Oh, here it is. Oh, that's sick. I love this. Did you. It's like, it's like all rainbowy and shit.

[Puffy]

Yeah, you can connect to it with your phone and everything too.

[Lyle]

You can connect to it with your phone.

[Puffy]

Yeah, bro.

[Lyle]

Okay, hold on. I'm put. I'm literally gonna write this down because I have a lot I want to talk to you about, but we need to talk about. We need to talk about. I'm making a note. We solo travel. I feel like, you know, okay, we're talking about solo traveling and hexagon business. All right, all right. Putting a pin in those two things, but for now, yeah, that looks awesome. Putting a pin in those two things. What have you done, like, have you done any kind of like internal work to try to like, fix your self esteem at all?

[Puffy]

I've tried like some, some minor stuff. Like a lot of it is just reaching out to friends that I haven't, that I haven't been contacting all that much. Like, like I mentioned I'm in New York right now for the, for the weekend visiting my old roommate. And like, that's, that's been a really positive experience. It's been a great time to talk to the people that I have definitely lost contact with over time and see that more people appreciate me than I let on, than I led myself on into thinking. Yeah. But at the same exact time, it's still like a struggle of like, oh, well, I can't. I can't anchor Myself to these people for the affection that I need at all times of my life. I need to be able to do that on my own. And it's really hard to do that on my own when I'm in the same habitat that I'm in all the time. Like just living at my house, going to work and just doing all the mundane stuff. It's. It's tough to kind of break the mold of how I view my own self image. But I've gotten into. I've been getting into a couple of other things. Like I've been getting into Gundam models and Warhammer.

[Lyle]

Cool.

[Puffy]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Also, just so you know what you. I'm. And I can. I can only talk about my personal experience. I can talk about my personal experience and I can talk about like what I have hunches about what you're just so you know what you're attempting to do. A, is it extremely worthy thing of you doing with your life? And B, is. Is not an overnight thing. This is a thing that take. Can even take years of like intentional effort and sometimes just through living life, you know.

[Puffy]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

By and what I mean. But like. And the thing. The thing being raising your self esteem and changing the quality of your thoughts and perspectives about yourself and the world is not an overnight thing. And it's sometimes takes like a combination of like intentional effort and of just like living your life. It's not gonna be an overnight thing. But I do think a lot of it does require. Okay, so to go into like the solo travel shit and the business shit, a lot of it does require like some form of external evidence of your own competence. I think is helpful. But even, but you could even. Part of me thinks it's like a yin and yang thing. And they like the, The. The external validation of your own competence feeds into your internal view of yourself. But I don't. I don't know if we have to get all fucking. I was gonna say I don't know if we have to get all capitalist about it, but maybe we. Maybe we do. I don't know. I'm somewhere in between. But let me ask, Let me ask you this. Do you like, have you made any like, intentional efforts to like change your thought patterns?

[Puffy]

Yeah, actually your podcast has helped a lot with that.

[Lyle]

Great.

[Puffy]

Originally, I used to be. Really recently, I think your last few podcast episodes have been going into absurdism and nihilism.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Puffy]

And I'm trying to. I'm trying to reshape my thought into the. The nothing matters in a really depressing way. And Being like, nothing matters, so what's the point to anything and reshaping it into nothing matters? So you should just try everything.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Puffy]

That'S. That's definitely been the biggest mindset that I'm trying to turn myself around too. I think the issue is consistency because, like, the whole thing with, like, BPD is that you kind of go through these. These large mood swings where in some point of time, you're going through, like, hypomanic phases where you feel like. You feel like God almost. You feel like you can do anything and you're some unstoppable force, and then it all goes crashing and burning down, and you're. Next thing you know, you're just sitting alone in your room thinking about how you. How you should end it. And it's. It's really. It's a really hard and abrupt change where it's. It's hard to keep that. That momentum of consistency where you're constantly trying to tell yourself that the. That the effort in what you're doing does matter, even if it doesn't work out.

[Lyle]

Do you take medication?

[Puffy]

Yeah, I do.

[Lyle]

Is that. How does that work for you? Is it good?

[Puffy]

It's. It's pretty good. It definitely. I. I. Can I say the medication, or am I not supposed to do it?

[Lyle]

Go say whatever you want.

[Puffy]

I take Quetapoline and Seroquel. Quetapalene. Yep. It's a. It's a little weird one.

[Lyle]

That sounds like a Pokemon.

[Puffy]

It kind of does. That's a good point. Yeah, no, that one Quick Tapoline is pretty good. That's the one for bpd. And then. And then Seroquel is, like, kind. Yeah, Seroquel is kind of like an energy booster almost.

[Lyle]

Cerequille actually does sound like a Pokemon. You know Cyndaquil.

[Puffy]

Yeah, they do. Yeah, both of them do. I think Quet Tapoline would be more like a water Pokemon.

[Lyle]

Quintapoline sounds like the evolution of Seroquel. Like, Seroquel is like the. The base one. Yeah, base one Pokemon. And then the, like, the level three evolution is Quintupoly. Is that what you said? Quintuple?

[Puffy]

Yeah, something like that. I always butcher the name of it, too. Don't worry about it.

[Lyle]

How long have you been on those?

[Puffy]

I've been on it for maybe six, eight months. I started to take it. I had a really bad mental health episode a little while ago, and I went to a mental health hospital for, I think, like a week. And during that time, they. They got me situated with those Those medications. I think the only downside with Quet T is that it makes you really tired. So I have to take it at. I have to take it at night or. No, I'm sorry, I have to take it in the morning because if I take it at night, I sleep through alarms and everything.

[Lyle]

But it. But I guess. Do you feel a nice difference pre Taking it to post?

[Puffy]

Taking it, you know, it's really hard to notice.

[Lyle]

Sure.

[Puffy]

To be completely honest, I would like to say yes, but at the same time, my life has still been kind of a train wreck and I have a lot of. I still have a lot of internal struggles.

[Lyle]

So why is your life a train wreck?

[Puffy]

It feels like it's not actually a train wreck. You know, I'm building up to be worse than it actually is. So really I just kind of catch myself in this doomer mentality where I'm like, I can't do anything in my situation. There's nothing I can do to fix this. Like, I feel like I. It feels like I missed the train almost where like the, the chance to turn my life around is. It's. It's. I don't feel like I missed the opportunity to make things great.

[Lyle]

Like, I. Yeah, give me some, Give me some, like, some examples.

[Puffy]

One would be like, I wanted to start like a YouTube channel, but it feels like YouTube is kind of like gone down in quality or like getting, getting the, getting the momentum to build. Like, even small audience in a place like that is something that has been significantly harder to do post Covid. So feels like that, that chance to build something along that line would be impossible because of how loud and oversaturated the like, community making scene is. I suppose. Like, you, you. You got, you got therapy gecko to be popular because of the whole Reddit thing that was going on through. Through Covid.

[Lyle]

That's true. Yeah. I got, I got. I got lucky with kind of finding that, that medium on Reddit. But anyway, enough. I mean, enough about stupid me, but your life is a train wreck.

[Puffy]

Oh, the other thing is like, I want to do the 3D printing thing where I 3D print into the little. The hexagons and then make them like LED signs. But online sites like Etsy actually banned 3D products, 3D printed products from their platform recently. Mostly because of there. Mostly because all the 3D printed products that were being sold on there are like garbage, you know? Have you ever seen like, those little, like 3D printed dragons?

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah. You know.

[Puffy]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

You know, here's the thing. What Whether. Whether or not your market analysis of the things that you want to do is. Is rooted in truth or not is not, to me, the. I guess, spiritually interesting part of the equation. To me, it would be more like, look, would you be happier knowing you gave it a shot?

[Puffy]

Not. I've always thought about that, and that's the thing that stops me from actually making, like, the big step into. Into doing stuff like that. It. It's. A lot of people say, like, you succeed as long as you try, but I feel like that's not necessarily true because you have to use resources in order to get there in the first place. You know, like, I use my time, I use my effort, I use money, all those sorts of things. And those are things that I can't get back whether I succeed or fail. And if I fail and I get nothing back from it, then what was the point of it all? It's not like it doesn't feel like I learned some sort of lesson. It feels like I just kind of fiddled my thumbs and walked in circles.

[Lyle]

Yeah, that's. That's. That. Yeah, that's. That's some deep nihilism.

[Puffy]

Yeah, it is.

[Lyle]

Let's talk. Well, okay, let's talk about the solo traveling thing. Tell me more about that. Where you. Where are you trying to solo travel to? Or, like, what are you trying to do for your solo travels?

[Puffy]

I would like to. I heard a hearsecon. I. I actually kind of want to see if I can go to hearstcon. That stuff sounds really cool.

[Lyle]

I think. I think we. I think we passed the first one, I think, but I think we got. We got.

[Puffy]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Until the next one.

[Puffy]

Yeah, it's gonna be next year, but I'm down.

[Lyle]

I'll wait next year. Yeah, I'll wait definitely there next year, but go ahead.

[Puffy]

No places like that. Weird. Weird. Like obscure, weird, obscured conventions. Like, there's also a Lovecraft convention. HP Lovecraft wasn't. Wasn't a good guy, but the community around him is pretty cool. And then there's also, like, Comic Con and all that kind of stuff, or PAX east or PAX West. I've never actually been on the western side of the US I've only been in. I've only been in New England more or less my entire life. So I would like to go out and explore more of what this world has, but I feel like I've always locked myself down to not having the opportunity to, either because of school or money or taking time off work, stuff like that. It feels like there's a. There's a lot of the. Or rephrase that. The conventions that I would like to go to, I think the main ones right now would be like Comic Con or PAX east or PAX west. And I. I would like to do stuff like cosplaying, all that kind of thing. But as there's two stuff. There's two things to it. Putting the effort in. Into making a cosplay is. Is a lot of effort. And I. I feel like I would almost embarrass myself by going to, uh. By going to a convention, cosplaying alone or. The other one is just like, it feels impossible to meet people because being. Being alone in a situation makes it feel like you don't have the social acceptance of others. So people would instantly dismiss you for being, like, weird or potentially evil.

[Lyle]

Well, potentially evil. Well. Well, a few counterpoints to that is one, I think I don't know what the vibe is at the. At a PAX east or pax. Well, I don't really know what the vibe is that like. I mean, Comic Con is like a huge, huge, crazy commercial thing. I don't know. I don't know anything about packs. But like, these littler places like the Lovecraft Con and like Hearsecon, and the other shit is like, these are specifically places that people go to because they're weird and because they feel inherently outcasted by who they are. Like, that's the fucking point is they've inherently created these spaces because they feel the way that you feel. And then the magic of the space is that all those people who feel the same way, they combine and have this, like, niche. Interesting. Over which to bond.

[Puffy]

Right.

[Lyle]

And so it, like, it's funny, I was laughing a little bit when you were talking because it's like the thing you're afraid of is the point of the thing. You know what I'm saying?

[Puffy]

Yeah. Yeah. You're not wrong. And that's what I try to convince myself of. It's like, do you ever get lonely when you're. When you're traveling around, like, for. Yeah, yeah. Like, one thing that. The one thing that I dread the most is, like, getting a hotel room, setting myself up in the hotel room, and then going out there and then coming back alone.

[Lyle]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. Well, let's see. Okay, so where are you trying to go to, pax?

[Puffy]

Frankly, anywhere. I haven't had the time to really look around for what I've wanted to do because this. This change has been a little abrupt. I've been In. I've been in Rhode island my whole life, so I haven't. I haven't really been able to experience all that much when it comes to what the other states have to offer and what other things there are to see beyond what I already know about. Like, I would like to know more about some more obscure conventions, but I don't even know how to hunt them down.

[Lyle]

Who do you. What do you like? What are you into? Lovecraft?

[Puffy]

Yeah. No, HP Lovecraft is definitely one of them. Gundam's another one. Just a big fan of communities. Like, communities around, like computer science. Like how I explain it. I wish. I wish there was a large second.

[Lyle]

What. What part. What part of the country are you when you're in Rhode Island?

[Puffy]

Yeah, I'm in Rhode island. Actually. Quick question. Would you ever do a show in Providence?

[Lyle]

I don't know. I don't really know much about Providence. I'm sorry. I'm looking at. Okay, the Gundam. So I'm. Look, I'm trying to find a. I'm on the computer. I'm trying to find a thing for you, but. Well, okay, you're in Providence. When is like the Providence? Like, I feel like every, every, like city has their own like. Or the Liberty City Anime Convention. Anime and Anime NYC. Here we go. Anime NYC 20 Javits Center 8-21-24. So here's the thing, right? Look. So if I go to Anime nyc, I see they have a Discord. So I'll go in the Discord. If I'm you, I'll go in the Discord, and then I'll kind of scope out the culture of the Discord. And then maybe I'll make a little post that's like, oh. Or even better, one of two things. One of two things. If I'm you, I go to the Anime NYC Discord. I join, I make a little post. Hey, I'm Matt. Here's the stuff I'm into. Here's what I like. Whatever, whatever. I'm going alone. If anyone wants to meet up, that would be cool. Blah, blah, blah. You make that post, okay, maybe someone reaches out to you. But get this, I'm not even on this. You know what? I'm. Hold on. I'm trying to join it, but I'm not even on there. And I already know that without even looking that there's about a hundred other people who've made that post already, right? So you could go in there. Hold on. I'm joining the Anime NYC Discord. Real quick, where are you, human? Please confirm you're not a robot. I don't know if I'm. I'm technically a gecko. What the fuck is up with these captchas now? Okay. Wants me to drag a thing into a. Okay, we're gonna verify the captcha. Okay. I'm in the Anime NYC Discord. It's loading. Enter your birthday. What the fuck? Hold on, wait. All right, we're fine. No, I don't want to buy Nitro 19. I was born in 9th. I was born. Fuck you. December, May 4th, 1966. Good enough. No, I'm not giving you my email and password. Just let me look at the. All right, we're here. Look. So look at this, right? Look, look at this. Look at this. Meetups in nyc. Oh, introductions, bro. Look at this. Look at this. This is. I'm literally. I'm on the NYC dude. Here's the thing. I'm on. All right, I'm on the NY Anime NYC official Discord. I'm on the intro. I'm on the introductions channel. On this channel today alone, there's already been one per. Like every single day leading up to this thing, people are writing down, like, look at this guy. Not to put him on blast. Hey, everyone, my name is Stephen. I've gone to a few anime conventions. This will be my first time. I'm doing a lot of cosplay work with it. I want to meet new people in the area with similar interests. So fucking, you know, fire emoji reacted. Send him a DM. Hey, Steven, I saw you also like JoJo's Bizarre Adventure where I'm doing a. How. What kind of cosplay do you do? You know, I mean, like, it's just.

[Puffy]

Yeah, this.

[Lyle]

It's all. It's all. I'm just. I'm just. It's all waiting for you. And whether it's the Anime NYC thing or it's the Lovecraft convention or whatever, for all the evil that the Internet has done to society. True. I really mean this. That done a lot of good too, in. In. In this particular aspect. So you just got to put yourself out there, man. Like the. The potential for you to. If you. If. Because, right, if you just go and you don't put forth any effort to chat with people on Discord beforehand or go to a meetup or say hi to someone, then, yes, you risk the debilitating moment. You're. You're. Your fear coming true of being back home alone in your hotel room. But you go to. You can maximize that. You can hedge very much against this by Going on the discord beforehand, introducing yourself in the thing, finding little events. Finding little meetups or events at the Lovecraft Con where it's. You know, you're. Cuz you're not the only. You're insane to think you're the only person going to these things alone. It's meant for people to convene and get through fucking and get this, get this, Matt, because you've. You've never done this before. But what's amazing is once you do this, the more times you go and you do this and the more times you get used to like, oh, I'm gonna go on the discord. I'm gonna message these people. I'm gonna. Oh, I know how to. The middle of a conversation is always easy. It's the beginning and the end that are tough. I know how to initiate conversations with people. I know what to. You know, whatever. And also, by the way, as you do this, you're gonna encounter a lot of people who are assholes. Because that's just.

[Puffy]

Yeah, that's the one thing I'm afraid of.

[Lyle]

And I have a solution. And I know what you mean. Okay, you're gonna encounter a lot of assholes and you might get really unlucky. And the first person you try to talk to, you might get really unlucky, Matt. And you're work. You're at the convention and you're in your costume and you're vulnerable and you're like the first person you go to try to. You, you're like, you build up the courage to talk to might be an asshole. You might get unlucky with that. But there. But the. You just got to learn. You got you. That's almost a skill in and of itself that you have to learn to like brush that off. Like, that's that guy's problem. I don't. I put. I put forth. I am at a fucking convention where the point of the thing is to convene. God damn it. I know I am not. And even if this guy, whatever, he had his own thing, he doesn't want to convene. I'm going to brush that off and I'm gonna find the people who are there to convene because I know they're there. And you just have to kind of code your brain to be, you know, understand the, The. Like this, like, how do I say this? The data is on your side. Because you see to keep putting yourself out there and keep trying and eventually you will find the person who likes the same anime as you. And then all Of a sudden, maybe that person is like a really cool, wonderful time is on the other side of you putting yourself out there and brushing off a few unpleasant people. It's just there. It's inevitable. I mean, that's why these fucking things exist. So. So I hope you do that, whatever it is. And. And there's. There's just. There's just ways to do it and make it easier for yourself.

[Puffy]

Yeah, no, you're.

[Lyle]

You're.

[Puffy]

You're definitely not wrong. It's. It's really just like the.

[Lyle]

The mental of it.

[Puffy]

The mental of it. And the money of it, too.

[Lyle]

Sure. Yeah, of course.

[Puffy]

Are you, like, it's hard.

[Lyle]

Go ahead.

[Puffy]

Say again?

[Lyle]

No, go ahead. What were you saying? It's hard.

[Puffy]

Oh, it's just like the money of it all is like, that's dedicating a lot of effort only for a chance. Like, you know, it's not. None of it is guaranteed. None of it is set in stone. Like, there's a lot of groundwork that you can do. Like just what you were explaining. And I've tried stuff like that. I've. I've gone to, like, meetup.com and all that kind of stuff in order to try to find, like, groups in order to get a. Get connected with. But it's hard to. It feels like it's hard to make myself be a person that someone else would like to convene with. And I think that's mostly just because it's in my head, but I strike myself as a person who is not interesting to other people.

[Lyle]

Why?

[Puffy]

Mental illness?

[Lyle]

Sure. Yeah. You know, I know I just kind of went off on you about a lot of, like, logistical things.

[Puffy]

No, no, no. Your advice was good.

[Lyle]

No, no, no. Well, no, I. Well, I. I went off on you about a lot of logistical things. But it's funny that you say that, because I am aware that, like, the question is not a logistical one. It's a meant. It's like a. It's a mental game.

[Puffy]

Yeah, yeah. Like, it's tough to just walk up to some person that you just don't know and initiate a conversation, because I don't know how to do that without it coming across as, like, weird or unsettling, you know?

[Lyle]

But isn't that the whole point of the anime? Because you're a cosplayer? Right.

[Puffy]

Well, I want to get into cosplaying. I've done a few things for before COVID but then obviously life got in the way with, like, school and everything.

[Lyle]

Isn't that, though? Isn't that the whole point of the anime convention is that you go up to someone and you're like, oh, shit, you're Junji Patoa from. From. From. From Nintendo Fiesta. And then you. And then what? That's the. And then you guys start talking about life. You know what I mean?

[Puffy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Lyle]

That the whole. That's the whole point. That's why everyone loves Halloween is It's much easier to get laid because everyone has like. Yeah, you know, you have openings to talk to people more than anywhere any other time everyone's wearing these costumes.

[Puffy]

That's not a bad point. Yeah, I know, I know. A lot of.

[Lyle]

Yeah, sorry, go ahead.

[Puffy]

A lot of the battle is to. A lot of the battle is just like turn off your brain from the. The negative things that you're telling yourself and to push yourself and go out there anyway. Because even if it's a negative experience, like I said before, even though I shut it down was like, even if you try, that's enough. Like, you won even if you tried.

[Lyle]

And also the money thing. I'm looking because. Well, okay, let's. I. Rhode Island Anime Convention is passed. But. Yeah, but like shit like this exists. Like, look at this. The Rhode Island Anime Convention Facebook group. How many fucking people are just posting in this Facebook. I mean, there's. There's. You can probably get away with. With doing shit like this over a weekend without having to spend a shit ton of money. But again, I think. I think. I think the logistics of it is not the thing as much as it is like. Yeah, the. The mental of it.

[Puffy]

Yeah, the. The like mental effort of it all.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. I don't know. I wish. I wish. I wish I had. I wish. I wish I could tell you anything other than like, I just a Nike. Just do it. I only have my own personal experience to draw from, but I do know that people study this shit. And I think it'll probably be some combination of, like. It'll be some combination of doing it scared, as they say, then realizing that it's not as bad as you thought it was. And again, I mean, you're in like, dude, here's like People, by the way, know this, Matt. The people posting in that discord and the people going to these events. There's people who have probably even. There's bro. There's people who hate themselves more than you hate yourself with more social anxiety than you have that I go into these fucking things, you know?

[Puffy]

Yeah, that's not wrong.

[Lyle]

It's not wrong. Do with do with that information what you will, but. Yeah, I hope you do it. I really do. I hope you do it.

[Puffy]

I'm gonna try to push myself to do it soon.

[Lyle]

I hope you do. And just remember that. Please. Just promise me that, like, if you. The. The. The. Can I. Can I. Can I actually steal something from a. From a podcast that I was listening to yesterday and tell it to you?

[Puffy]

Yeah, go off.

[Lyle]

Okay, I was listening. Shout out. This. This guy I really like, his name is Naval Ravi. Can't. He talks about this. You know who that is?

[Puffy]

No, I don't.

[Lyle]

Okay, I'm gonna completely steal what he's saying and say it on my own podcast. Shout out Naval Ravikant. He rocks. He was talking about like, okay, so in like. Alright, so everything going on with you, I th. I think is like, comes from like social anxiety and shit. It comes from like prehistoric biological conditioning, right? Like our biologic, our biology has not kept up with the modern world that we live in. And in the prehistoric world, when we were in like tribes and shit, social anxiety was very necessary because if you were like. Like if you did try to make friends with someone and they didn't like you and it didn't work out, you actually were fucked. Because you could only. There were only like a few people to talk to or go on a date with or whatever. And if you were shunned from your tribe, you were just fucked. You were left out to die. Like, like, like everything your social anxiety was signaling to you was actually correct.

[Puffy]

But there's billions of people now.

[Lyle]

But now we live in the modern world where it doesn't fucking matter. Because if you are at this anime convention and you try to say hi to a guy and he's, you know, shugs shrugs you off, it doesn't matter. You know, there's you, there's. You have infinite, infinite iterations, right, on which to get it right. And you only need one. You only you can reach. You can go and talk to like five people. And if five of them are jerks, it doesn't matter. Because if the sixth is like, oh, hey. Oh, cool. Oh, I love. Oh, oh, wait, yo, you made this hexagon thing. This is fucking cool. Which, by the way, will happen. And you know, you just need that. You see that to happen once for your brain to be like, oh, shit, this. I. Okay, I haven't. I have like evidence now for myself of what can be if I get over the. The hurdle.

[Puffy]

That's true.

[Lyle]

So, yeah, dude, I hope you do it. I really do. I Think there's. I, it's. I don't, I don't like solo traveling as much anymore because it, it's, it's intense. But I, I think like, if you've never done it before, the feeling of putting yourself out there, meeting someone new and having an experience that you didn't think you could have is great. And it just happens as a byproduct of having the like, courage to put yourself out there. So I hope, I hope you do it, you know, and also you're not. I only, I've only been talking to you for 45 minutes, but you present to me as a well put together person, you know, I mean, like, if we were having this conversation and I, and I felt off put by you, even if I felt off put by you, I still would say all these things because even. Because I got to tell you something, Matt, you could be like 300% crazier. You could. Matt, I think you could be five times as crazy as you actually are and still make a lot of friends at this anime convention. I believe that sincerely.

[Puffy]

You're like, I think it'd make it easier.

[Lyle]

You're no, you're. No, you're nowhere near past the amount of crazy that you have to be to be unable to make friends at an anime convention.

[Puffy]

That's true. Yeah. I just think that like, if I was crazy, er, it would actually be easier to meet people because it sounds like you're more of an interesting personality.

[Lyle]

Well, it, no, it would be easier. You know, there's like an optimal level of conscientiousness that a human being can have because we all know, we all know guys who are like, have zero conscientiousness and say what? They just say whatever comes to them. And they're like really annoying. And they do, they just do shit, right? And because of that they have a lot of people who are like, that guy fucking sucks and is annoying. But also because of that they just, they end up taking more chances and they leave. They live more interesting lives and they are less concerned with how annoying people think they are because they're just, they have low cut, they're not even thinking about it. They just have no conscientiousness. They're just hurling themselves into the universe. And that leads people into, into danger, but it also leads them into opportunity. And then on the opposite side is the guy who just never says anything to anyone or takes any chances ever because. Oh, because there might be danger, right? You don't want to be that guy either. So you Want it. You want the. You want. And I think you're actually the. I just. From talking to you, you're. You want to aim. You want to aim somewhere in the middle where you're conscientious enough that you're not, like, being a complete insane person, but you're not too conscientious, that you're never putting yourself out there at all. You want to be somewhere acutely in the middle.

[Puffy]

That's not wrong.

[Lyle]

You want to be somewhere acutely in the middle. Edging towards a lack of conscientiousness, possibly.

[Puffy]

Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think it's better to be on the lack of conscientiousness.

[Lyle]

Better to be on the lack of conscience.

[Puffy]

Too much.

[Lyle]

At least for you, maybe not.

[Puffy]

It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

[Lyle]

Well, better for you, maybe not. Better for society, though, you know?

[Puffy]

Oh, yeah, well, yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle]

People. People on the. People who lack conscientiousness of any kind. They. They live. They. They personally do well, and then fuck. Fuck up a bunch of shit, but who care? We're talking about an anime convention, not, you know, who gives a shit? Matt, are you still there?

[Puffy]

Yeah, I'm still here.

[Lyle]

How do you feel about this conversation?

[Puffy]

I. I'm pretty happy with it. I'm. I'm glad I was able to finally reach out to you. I. I called a bunch of times over the last, I think, like, maybe two years. So this is the first call that I've actually gotten in on, which I'm. I'm so happy about, to be honest.

[Lyle]

I hope you do it. Please. If you go, ple. If you do this and it works out, send me a. Send me a thing anywhere I look at stuff. Send me, like, a Instagram. I don't actually. I don't look at the texts on this phone number, but send me, like, an Instagram or. I mean, Instagram is probably the best way to do it, but I. If I got a message from you that was like, oh, I went to Pisscon and I made a bunch of piss friends, I'd be like, that's awesome.

[Puffy]

Yeah, no, I'm gonna. I'm gonna try and. I'm gonna try to update you on what happens.

[Lyle]

Okay?

[Puffy]

See what. I'll see how this changes the course of my life in the future.

[Lyle]

Okay? Please do. I. If you try and someone's kind of dismissive of you, please try again.

[Puffy]

Yeah, that's gonna be hard to do. That's gonna be.

[Lyle]

In fact, go into it with the expectation that people will be Pit. No, actually don't do that. That's a self fulfilling prophecy.

[Puffy]

But I feel like that's what we're trying to avoid.

[Lyle]

In fact, that is actually absolutely what we're trying to avoid. You strike me as a smart guy, man. You should. You should. Really. Yeah. You should go for it.

[Rat]

All right.

[Puffy]

I think that's. I think that's kind of what I need.

[Lyle]

Good man. I wonder what happened to that guy with the hook. I don't know what he's doing now. I don't. I'm actually. Let me look him up. I remember his. I'm not gonna say his name on the podcast, but I actually do remember his name. Let's see what happened to him. You want to sit on the line with me while I see what happened to him? Hold on.

[Puffy]

Yeah, no, no, absolutely.

[Lyle]

Wait, maybe I don't remember his name. Hold on. Do I fuck. Oh, here. Wait. Do I. No, no, I don't remember. I. And I can't just search guy with a hook, because I don't. That's not gonna work.

[Puffy]

There's a guy. There's a lot of guys. Hooks.

[Lyle]

There's a lot of guys with hooks. Yeah. Hold on. Wait. That's his fucking. I'm trying to say is. I'm trying to not say his name. Okay. Fuck it. We're never. You know what? Let's just assume he's dead. No, he's. I mean, he's probably not dead. He's probably. He's old. That's a good enough. That's a good enough. That's a good enough answer for me as to what happened.

[Puffy]

When. When you're old, you're already dead, kind of.

[Lyle]

That's not true. You're the opposite of dead. You're alive.

[Puffy]

True. I guess it's fair. I think it's more like you. You. You don't have the ability to go out and do as much. You know, I'm like, I'm. I'm gonna be 23 and I'm gonna be really afraid when my frontal lobe develops.

[Lyle]

Matt. I. Only from personal experience, about a month ago, about two months ago, I decided that there was no point in ever exercising again because I was just gonna die anyway, like, severely lost. And I, I only. I only. I. I don't want to be like toxic positivity. I really don't. I just. I just only have my own personal experience with existential nihilism to draw off of. And I truly, I felt as though there was no point in, like, exercising because I was just Gonna die anyway. It's. And now I'm like, that's insane. I don't. I have all. I have all the same information that I had then, but I just don't. I just feel life makes. I just. I never. I thought. I thought I was gonna die. I didn't think I would be able to get out of that. And not that my personal experience is gonna reflect yours, but I guess I just think that from. From my own perspective, since I thought I was gonna die and I didn't, it wasn't gonna ever change. And now I like when I hear somebody else in it. I'm like, well, okay, maybe they'll have. Things will work out for them, too. So I can only. Again, I only have my own.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Experience.

[Lyle]

But I hope you go to the. The. The. The furry con or whatever it is you want to do, and I would.

[Puffy]

Not mind going to a furry con.

[Lyle]

Go to a fucking furry con. Yes. You're not gonna be the only person there that hates themselves.

[Puffy]

That's true. There's a lot of people that hate themselves in this age.

[Lyle]

Matt, is there anything else you want to say to the people. The computer, before we go?

[Puffy]

I want to say I love your content. Love what you do for everybody here. I think you're really good for putting into perspective how. I don't want to say how life could be worse, but how everything is a matter of perspective.

[Lyle]

I hope so. I hope so.

[Puffy]

That, and pay attention to who says bless you when you sneeze.

[Lyle]

Pay attention to who says bless you when you sneeze. Yeah. What does that mean?

[Puffy]

That's it? Nope. There's nothing else to it. That's just it.

[Lyle]

All right, well, good luck, Matt. Give me. Give me. Enough.

[Puffy]

Good luck to you.

[Lyle]

Shit.

[Puffy]

All right.

[Lyle]

All right.

[Puffy]

Thanks, Lyle.

[Lyle]

Later on, man. By the way, I have to. I have to vehemently disagree with Matt's final statement. Notice who says bless you when you sneeze? That's just. That's. That's a psychopathic thing to do. Don't do that, though. I. That's. I think that's a crazy thing to do. I mean, I know what it means. It's like, take stock of, like, who's watching out? But even. Even I don't. I don't. I'm. I think keeping score is not a good idea. I think it's bad for the soul to keep score in a. In an abstract sense. I think it's bad for the soul. So I don't. I don't agree to pay attention to who says bless you when they see. Imagine you're in a fucking argument with your wife and you're like, well, you didn't say bless you when I sneezed. It's like, are you crazy? I think keeping score only I'm trying to think of in my life when I've kept score. I definitely have. I totally have kept score. I think it's a natural thing to keep score. But I don't. I don't know if it's done good things for me. So I don't know, maybe I'm gonna go to a furry convention. I have an idea for a video I want to. I think I have an idea for a video I'm working on. The, the Tijuana thing first. And then I have another thing and then another thing after that. But then after that I want to make a video about. People ask, since I've been doing this show, people have asked me if I'm a furry. And I don't know how to answer that question because I am literally a man dressed as an animal. Does that make me a furry? Am I a furry? I think I have to go talk to furries to figure out if I technically am a furry. I think I'd make a fun video. This is a good chance. This is a good opportunity for me to plug my YouTube channel. Go follow me on YouTube. YouTube.com Lyle Forever. That's the, that's the thing I'm the most excited about in life right now is making these intentional YouTube videos. So go, go check those out. I'm gonna try to do one a month. I just, I was in Tijuana. I did gonna do that one. I have another one. One after that. It's gonna be good. All right, that is the end of these post call thoughts.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And here we have a specimen from the early 2000s. A legacy investing platform. Please don't touch the exhibit, folks. It could crash. Ready to step out of the financial history museum? At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more. You could even put your cash to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind. Go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Paid for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full disclosures at public.com disclosures.

[IBM Consultant]

The best AI assistant isn't one that knows the whole world. It's one that knows your world. A custom assistant built on WatsonX with IBM's granite models can leverage your trusted data. Be easily trained on your workflow and integrate with your apps. It can be tuned to do just what you need. Because the more AI knows about your world, the more it can help you do. Learn [e-mail] productivity IBM let's create this.

[Jemma Spaeg]

Is Jemma Spake from the psychology of your 20s. Unlock smarter learning with Lenovo AI powered PCs powered by Intel Core Ultra processors. Head to lenovo.com and choose from multiple devices and to fit your passions. If you're a gamer, you can spend less time stressing about GPUs and CPUs and more time dominating with the AI enabled smart engine which optimizes your game performance in real time. Or maybe you're a scientist on the verge of a groundbreaking discovery and need a device with a longer battery life and AI enhanced tools to give you extra time to finish your research. Or you're a musician preparing for your biggest break and need better faster AI tools to make digital art a breeze. Like creating band posters and T shirt designs. Or you're a soon to be graduate needing to catch a recruiter's eye to land that dream job. So you need cutting edge smart tools to build your portfolio from scratch. That's the power of Lenovo with Intel Inside. Plus college students and teachers get 5% off with an education account on Lenovo.com A Better Future is waiting and it needs you.

[Lyle]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up, we thought we'd bring our prices down.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Lyle]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Lyle]

Just 15 bucks a month. So give it a [e-mail] upfront payment of 45 for three month plan equivalent.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Lyle]

Offer for first three months only.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra.

[Lyle]

CM mobile.com hi, what's your name?

[Matt]

Hi. Rat. We'll go with Rat.

[Lyle]

Rat. What's up Rat? How's life?

[Matt]

Life is good. Sorry, I also kind of freaking out. Did not expect to get through.

[Lyle]

No, no, no. You don't have to freak out about anything. Rhett. This is going to be. This is going to be perfectly fine.

[Matt]

Beautiful, beautiful. I'm good. I am just living life out in Seattle right now. Yeah, I don't know, things are a little bit stressful. I just, I feel like I you know I completed college and that was like a Big goal and then moved out here for like a job and it's like, well, I kind of, you know, now what kind of had reached all of my goals, I feel like so far, and it's like, okay, now I'm doing the thing and now it's a little bit stressful as having nothing else for. I don't know, I don't want to say I'm nothing else to look forward to, but you know.

[Lyle]

What, what job did you get?

[Matt]

I'm a meteorologist.

[Lyle]

Oh, cool.

[Matt]

I forecast for the weather out here. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Oh, cool. Well, I guess you have a lot. I guess you have a lot of weather to look forward to.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah, the weather out here is kind of insane, but seeing like all the mountains out here is super beautiful. So, yeah, it's been great.

[Lyle]

Is that what you wanted to do? Is that. Was that like one of your big life goals?

[Matt]

Absolutely, yeah. I've always been into weather since I was a kid. I was really into like severe weather and like tornadoes and everything. We don't get really much tornadoes out here, but it's still. Yeah, definitely achieves that life goal. So now I'm, you know, I kind of moved out here, does. None of my family or friends are out here, but I feel like I've been able to meet some people. But yeah, pretty much kind of at that now. What stage in life? I've been trying to get out there and kind of do a little bit of the solo driving myself. I mean, just around the area, but yeah, definitely it's been a little bit rough in that sense.

[Lyle]

What the fuck was I gonna say? Yeah, I do think that having things in life to look forward to is an important part of like, you know, stability and shit. Well, I mean, I know this is a, maybe a stupid question, like, what do you want to have to look forward to.

[Matt]

That, I feel like, is where my problem comes in. Definitely, like wanting to, like, travel and like, see the world and that kind of thing. But it's hard because, like, you know, you just get your first job and like kind of settle down a new area for a bit and like, I know in the future I'll be able to kind of move around jobs and like, you know, maybe just kind of see different places in the world. But for right now, it's like, it seems like that's like kind of a long term, you know, like, oh, by the time I'm old, I want to have done this, I guess. But I'm also, I also have bpd, like the first caller. So a Lot of the things for me is like the unstable like identity and like sense of self. So it's kind of hard to know exactly, you know, like you said, like what goals or what things I want to do with life. That's kind of where a lot of the struggle comes in. Yeah, I've been kind of doing some little trips around Washington because it's just so beautiful out here. That's been nice, but it is kind of rough. Like especially kind of doing a lot of it by myself. You know, it's like, well, I have nobody to share. Like, you know, this beautiful moment with kind of thing that's been a little bit hard as well.

[Lyle]

What, what, what are you doing to put yourself in situations where you're around other people?

[Matt]

I've been going to some. There's like a little community like park thing where I went to like a little pickleball instruction class and kind of met some people there. Just kind of trying to do like little like events and things like that that are going around. I went to like this one event called like Skip the Small Talk. And if anybody throughout, I think it's just like throughout the US Is looking for kind of a place to meet people, I would definitely recommend that. That was great. I didn't really make any like lasting friendships through that, but it was an awesome experience. So things like that.

[Lyle]

Well, the lasting friendships that you'll make are gonna be like a one off event is cool. I think it's. I think it's like good to do shit like that. But making lasting friendships is like gonna be as a result of finding a community that regularly meets and then showing up there consistently for a period of time. Like, I mean like a sport league or an art thing or like, like something that you go to once or twice a week. Yeah. Do you have anything like that? Do you have like a. I mean especially. I mean, fuck, you're in Seattle. It's a huge major walkable city. Seattle. Walkable city.

[Matt]

Um, yes. I'm like kind of like a little outside of Seattle. I guess I'm not like right in the downtown area, but I'd say it is.

[Lyle]

But yeah, there's anything. I mean that's great, right? Because I. Do you have anything like that? Do you have like a hobby, like a. You fucking play pinball or sing or anything like that?

[Matt]

I used to be like kind of play an instrument. So I've been kind of looking into getting back into that out here. Yeah, I feel like that'd be good community to be a part of but other than that, I'm trying to get back into, like, sports. I did gymnastics, but that's not really, you know, something kind of be like on a sports team with or anything right now. So trying to look into doing something like that, but not at the moment.

[Lyle]

Yeah, that's. That's the, that's the. That's the key is being part of something that like, regularly meets.

[Matt]

Okay, that's true. That's true.

[Lyle]

And then also it's not as that you have to go to something regularly meets. And then when you first get there and everyone else already knows each other and you kind of don't, you have to be okay with feeling uncomfortable for at least the first month that you're regularly attending. I found that to be the case in most of the times in my life where I have been. Because if you got. If you go there and you're immediately like, oh, all these people and all this is. I don't. This is. I feel good that. By the way, that happens every time.

[Matt]

Sure.

[Lyle]

And for me, every time I've gone to like a. I joined a co working space, I was doing stand up. I played in video game tournaments. And every time you show up for the first time, you're like, I feel so uncomfortable that I just don't think I should be here. I don't think this is it. And you have, every time you have to push yourself past that in order to feel like you're part of the gang. You need, you need like a month to solidify yourself.

[Matt]

You know, just keep showing up and kind of trust that it'll work out.

[Lyle]

Oh, sorry, was that a question?

[Matt]

Definitely, yeah, I. I guess, like, I'm like wondering, like, how you would get over that, because that has definitely been something that I've experienced as well. Is like, oh, yeah, everybody else here is already way close with each other and I'm just like, you know, kind of barging on their time.

[Lyle]

Do you have that thought on the first day?

[Matt]

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe that's just kind of like a persistent thought that, like, I'm like, maybe it's just kind of feeling not welcome kind of thing. But I feel like, yeah, I've definitely had that on the first day.

[Lyle]

And like, this is very natural thought where. What was the context? What was the group?

[Matt]

I mean, even just kind of going to like the, like the park kind of near me. Like, they have like a bunch of like, different events and things. Like, obviously, like that little like, pickleball thing was just kind of like a one off, but, like, I don't know, just kind of trying to be a part of things here and there. I guess I did kind of like bounce around between, like, a couple of different. But that's.

[Lyle]

Which is. Which is fine, by the way. I mean, I. That's what. That's what I think you should do, right, is bounce around a bunch of different shit until you find one that you naturally gravitate yourself towards.

[Matt]

True, true. How was the CO working thing? Because I was kind of looking into doing something like that, especially if I'm able to be working remote like I do. I would love to, like, see more of the world and everything. And I kind of been looking into that a little bit recently.

[Lyle]

Truthfully, it's been one of the best decisions I have made in my life recently. It's been great.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Lyle]

It's been. Yeah, it's kind of given me actually exactly what I needed.

[Matt]

Interesting. Did you kind of like, do that, like, internationally? Like, how was that experience? Because that's very intriguing to me. I know they're kind of all over the place.

[Lyle]

Intern internationally?

[Matt]

Yeah, just like. I don't know, there's a lot like, kind of just like within the US and stuff, but I know there was also like a lot in like, France kind of thing.

[Lyle]

Like, I've never. I've never been to a cover. Well, I joined one, you know, where I live. But international, I mean, internationally, like, you know, I. I've like, spent time in like, hostels and.

[Matt]

Like that.

[Lyle]

That have kind of similar. Similar vibes. But what your meet. You work in an office?

[Matt]

Yes. Yeah, there is a lot of, like, remote work available with meteorology, but I am in office right now.

[Lyle]

Do you go. You go in five times a week?

[Matt]

Yes.

[Lyle]

You talk to people? Are the people your age there?

[Matt]

Yeah, actually, surprisingly, there is a decent amount of people my age there. It is a smaller kind of company. So it has been kind of. You know, I do try to make friends. I talk to a lot of people there. It seems like it's very Work friends, you know, like, we kind of all get along at work and we've hung out a few times outside of work, but it's not.

[Lyle]

You're looking for deeper connections?

[Matt]

Yeah, exactly.

[Lyle]

Are you. Are you dating anyone?

[Matt]

I am not. Not really looking to first, but I'm not.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Matt]

It definitely feels a little. Oh, go ahead. Sorry.

[Lyle]

Yeah, you go ahead.

[Matt]

It definitely just kind of feels a little hard, especially like, kind of going through those changes, you know, leaving college and then I was so happy. Like, I was Able to like move away from home and I don't. Not happy that I don't have like my friends and family here. But you know, it feels like a fresh start. But it's like I kind of feel like I've lost. Yeah, I don't know. It definitely feels a little bit isolating sometimes.

[Lyle]

How old are you?

[Matt]

I'm 23.

[Lyle]

You're 23? You're 23. Do you live alone?

[Matt]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Do you have a car?

[Matt]

I do have a car.

[Lyle]

Do you work in the city?

[Matt]

I do not know, but I'm close enough to the city where I can go.

[Lyle]

What time do you get off of work?

[Matt]

Usually 2:00pm I'm usually working.

[Lyle]

You get off work at 2:00pm?

[Matt]

Yes. Yeah, actually just got off a bit ago.

[Lyle]

Dude, do, do. I mean, look, Seattle, this is what. This is kind of what I do. And I just like when I try to. When I'm in. Feeling. Feeling like this, especially in a city like Seattle is like, dude, just go every night of the week, just go do something like this. Just shit going on all the time. And there's a lot, you know. Look, I know, I know money is tight around, but like there's a lot of shit that's free that you can do, you know, or cheap.

[Matt]

Right?

[Lyle]

I mean we had the guy last episode, he'd go to the fucking five dollar basement show, you know, just like go do, go do things. Just go do his. Like. When did you move to Seattle?

[Matt]

About 10 months ago. So I just kind of settled down here.

[Lyle]

And what, what do you. How do you. Okay, so like what's the day for you? Like you get off work at 2pm and then what do you do?

[Matt]

Yeah, I do. I have been kind of dealing with like a little bit of like chronic illness stuff recently that's kind of started to flare up. So I have a lot of like doctor's appointments at the moment. But usually I try to kind of like go for like little walks and stuff after work and like kind of like get any like chores like grocery shopping done. Like, you know, kind of all have that done during the work week. And then weekends focus on more like recreation kind of thing. That makes sense.

[Lyle]

Sure, sure. And actually, by the way, the. The. The frequency actually to me is not as important. Like, I know I said go out every day of the fucking week, but like, if all you. If all you have in you within your, you know, health limitations is twice a week or once a week, then you know, take your twice a week or once a week and you know, do Shit. Try to find a community that you're like, okay, I like. I like this. I'll go. I'll keep going to this. Because, I mean, that's the salt. I think that's the sort of sauce of life, is finding something like that. And, yeah, you feel uncomfortable. And, I mean, if you're lucky, you find a place that just always want some. Some communities are more welcoming than others by nature. But even. Even the ones that are welcoming, even if. Even if. Even if you show up to improv night and everyone's like, hey, what's your name? What? You still feel a little weird? It's gonna happen no matter what, but.

[Matt]

Right.

[Lyle]

Just keep showing up.

[Matt]

Okay. Okay. Yeah, I like that.

[Lyle]

You go do improv. Go do improv. You can hang out with a bunch of other. A bunch of crazy people. Somewhere in Seattle, there's a bunch of.

[Matt]

Do you have to participate specifically with the improv? Because that's. I don't have. I'm not, like, funny like you and a lot of other people are.

[Jemma Spaeg]

I'd love to.

[Lyle]

Then fuck improv. Don't go to. Don't go to improv. Go to. Go. Go to a sewing circle. Just anything, you know.

[Matt]

Okay. I mean. Yeah, I love to watch. I just was always kind of a little bit intimidated that I'd be, you know, dragged up on stage, anything like that.

[Lyle]

You know, this is. I'm gonna. Sorry, I'm gonna go on a rant. This is like. I know we're all scared that we're gonna, like, live in the computer forever, but why were. There's. You don't have to live in the computer forever. This. The whole time. There's motherfuckers in places, in cities. I don't know. I mean, maybe not even in just cities, but there's people gathering and doing things, and a lot of them doing it, you know, for free. And it gets out there if you look for it. So just. I hope you look for it. These people going to pinball tournaments, you can go to a pin, but there's. You can probably go. In Seattle, you can go to a pinball tournament four times a week, probably.

[Matt]

That's true. Man, I need to get good at pinball.

[Lyle]

No, you don't. You don't have to do anything at all ever for the rest of your life. That's not. I mean, it's a little true. It's kind of true. I don't know. What's your name again? Go ahead, Go ahead.

[Matt]

I was gonna say, I think some of it does come Of a fear of like. I do feel like, you know, you need to be good at it. Like how with improv, like pinball, it's like, oh, I'm not good at it. So it's a little bit nerve wracking I guess, but I guess you don't have to be. Isn't that just as a little bit more fear to it?

[Lyle]

But here's, here's, here's the thing. First, the first of all the funny thing is, is I'm the people who care whether or not you're good at it. I want to use stand up as an example cuz like, like in the stand up comedy community, everyone I think deep down knows that they're just there to like hang out and have fun and do the fucking jokes, you know, even, even people who, I think even people who do it professionally and like at a high level, you know, deep down ever, we're just all there to like have fun and do the thing, you know, and, and Pete, when what, no matter what the thing is, it's like the everyone, we're just there to have fun and do the thing. Like who gives a fuck if you're good at it or not? Like, you know, I don't know. I don't know where, I don't know where I was going with that.

[Matt]

No, I like that. I like that. Thank you.

[Lyle]

We're all. Yeah, but we're, we're just everyone's. Even the people who are really good and even the people who care about the politics of who's good and who's not, deep down are just. They're there because if they weren't, they'd be at home trying really hard not to, not to want to die. You know, it's when it's a better thing to do is to be out of the house, you know.

[Matt]

True. This is true. Thank you. Appreciate your wisdom.

[Lyle]

Rat, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer before we go?

[Matt]

I'll share really quick my bacon analogy. I was eating a salad one day that had bacon and realized, oh, this is a pretty big piece of bacon for the salad. And I was like, well if I was eating like a BLT and there was like, you know, that same size piece of bacon, I'd be like, oh, it's just a crumb. That's nothing that compared to what's already on it. So I like to use the bacon analogy to appreciate that really life is just perspective. And maybe that one piece of bacon may seem big to you, but some people might be small to them, et cetera, et cetera.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Save our national parks. Thanks.

[Lyle]

I like it. I like it. See you, Rat. Thank you.

[Matt]

Thanks.

[Lyle]

I like things. I like. I think you should. I think it's good to do things. You know what? That's my. That's one of my big, sort of my big. I. I'm. I. I know I'm all like wishy washy on this show. I'm afraid to express opinions. Maybe I'm not. Maybe that's a lie. That's one of my strong opinions. I think it's good to do stuff, and there's a lot of stuff to do, so I don't. It's good to do things. You should go do things.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, you know what's great about your investment account with the big guys? It's actually a time machine. Log in and zoom. Welcome back to 1999. It's time for an upgrade. At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more. You could even put your cash to to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind at public.com go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Paid for by Public Investing, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full disclosures at public.com disclosures.

[IBM Consultant]

Your business deploys AI pilots everywhere. But are they going anywhere? Or are they stuck in silos, exhausting resources, unable to scale? Maybe you don't need hundreds of AI pilots, you need a holistic strategy. IBM has 65,000 consultants with Gen AI expertise who can help you design, integrate and optimize AI solutions. So you're not just deploying AI, you're scaling it across your business. Learn more at IBM.com consulting IBM let's.

[Jemma Spaeg]

Create this is Jemma Spaeg from the psychology of your 20s. Unlock smarter learning with Lenovo AI powered PCs powered by Intel Core Ultra processors. Head to lenovo.com and choose from multiple devices and to fit your passions. If you're a gamer, you can spend less time stressing about GPUs and CPUs and more time dominating with the AI enabled smart engine which optimizes your game performance in real time. Or maybe you're a scientist on the verge of a groundbreaking discovery and need a device with a longer battery life and AI enhanced tools to give you extra time to finish your research. Or you're a musician preparing for your biggest break and need better, faster AI tools to make digital art a breeze, like creating band posters and T shirt designs or You're a soon to be graduate needing to catch a recruiter's eye to land that dream job. So you need cutting edge smart tools to build your portfolio from scratch. That's the power of Lenovo with Intel Inside. Plus, college students and teachers get 5% off with an education account on Lenovo.com A Better Future is waiting and it needs you.

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[Lyle]

Hey. Hi. What's your name?

[Rat]

Hi, I'm Puffy. How are you?

[Lyle]

Puffy, That's a cool name. Is. How'd you get the name Puffy?

[Rat]

You know, just smoking a lot of weed, being chronically on the Internet. So. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Cool. Very cool. Yeah, it's like the marshmallow guy.

[Rat]

Yeah. Yeah, like a marshmallow guy.

[Lyle]

What's good with you? Puppy? Puffy, not puppy. What would you want to talk about today? If you had anything that you wanted to talk about today?

[Rat]

I'm showing. I'm working. I work at a pizza place. Damn, I'm kind of nervous. It's been a while since. Since I've been calling. It's been a while since I've been watching your stream and yeah, I've just been a fan of you. Since when did you start on Reddit? Like five years ago, dude. It's been quite a journey, honestly.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Thank you, thank you, thank you for hanging with me. For. I did not think that this would keep last this long, so I appreciate you hanging in there with me.

[Rat]

No, dude, isn't. It's been great. Sorry, let me get to somewhere a little quieter.

[Lyle]

Are you. Are you at the pizza place right Now?

[Rat]

Yeah, I work, like, right next to the oven, but I'm in the bathroom now.

[Lyle]

Oh, is it busy? Busy?

[Rat]

You know, it's getting there. We kind of, like, past the. The lunch rush, so I'm just kind of, you know, working on my chores, working on dishes, working on the oven. Yeah, yeah. But I drive, so this might be a short call because I know you, like, you don't like people driving.

[Lyle]

Oh, well, I was gonna. I'm not keeping you from pizza duties, am I?

[Rat]

No, no, you're. You're not keeping me from pizza duties.

[Lyle]

What's the most popular pizza that you guys have?

[Rat]

If I give that away, then I'm gonna give away where I work. It's like, right now, probably the. The stuffed crust.

[Lyle]

Right now I'm trying, like. Oh, do you work at, like, a big chain?

[Rat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay. You don't have to say if this is it, but I've been. I've been craving Little Caesars. I haven't had that in a long time.

[Rat]

Oh. You know, before I worked here, I was a die hard for Little Caesars. Man, that. They've always been good to me. People talk a lot of shit on them.

[Lyle]

Good to you like, you used to. You used to work at Little Caesars?

[Rat]

No. Thank goodness, but. No. I work for another bigger Chan. But I'm not going to give it away or nothing, but honestly, I. I've been wanting to talk to you for so long, dude. I. I've been calling since I got, like, the courage to start calling since. Oh, what was her name? Ice Cream queen.

[Lyle]

Yes.

[Rat]

With the ice cream truck.

[Lyle]

Yes. I'm not a big. I don't. You. Everyone knows I don't remember, like, names specifically, but Angela. I remember her.

[Rat]

Angela. Angela. Yes. Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Fucked with her.

[Matt]

She's.

[Rat]

She's so cool. And honestly, I've been, like, getting the courage to call in because I'm. I'm kind of like an introverted person, but she just seems so happy and content, I guess.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Rat]

And just. I don't know. I just envy people like that, man. Her and the caveman and. Who else? Who else? Oh, my goodness. There's so many people that come into your show, and they're just such cool people, dude. And so, like, they seem so content with their lives and everything, and it's like, how do I do that?

[Lyle]

I know. Does it just. Doesn't it just piss you off?

[Rat]

Yeah. No, I mean, just more envious than anything because, you know, I've. I'm only, like, 25, but I've been on this journey of trying to, I don't know, just kind of find myself. I guess I really related to the last caller as well. I'm not sure if I have BPD or anything like that. I haven't really been diagnosed with anything other than like anxiety, depression, you know, the common stuff. But I don't know, I just related a lot to him and just like, you know, not knowing if people genuinely like you or being like, afraid to like, you know, put yourself out there because you don't know, you know, if people are genuine or not. I don't know. But yeah.

[Lyle]

What's your, like, so if, if the previous caller's thing was like doing a solo travel thing, what's. Do you, what's your analogy to that? Do you have like a thing like that that you're, you're trying to do?

[Rat]

Dude, Honestly, me and my partner were just talking about this and we, because we kind of feel this similar way about that. We honestly didn't think that we would make it this far in life and so we kind of don't really like know what to do because we didn't have such big goals for our life, you know, honestly. At this point, however, I can make enough money to just kind of like fuck off and have, have a place myself in the woods or something, you know, be self sufficient in some way, however I can make that dream happen, honestly. But I don't know, I've been kind of burnt out of like school or college, but I know that's probably the most sufficient way that I could get to that. But I don't know, I'm kind of scared to go back into school because what if I drop out again, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I really just envy those people that are very, just steadfast and know what they want and they're just very sure of themselves.

[Lyle]

It is interesting. I, you know, it's. I, I hate being all fucking like. I don't, I, I don't, I don't like this podcast as like a self helping motivational thing. I'm just kind of like making observations. But like the whole idea of like a life is about perspective. I do, I feel that way when I see people like when, yeah, like that lady Angela. Angela with the ice cream job. It's like she, or she's like, she delivers the mail and it's like she, just because of the perspective she has on life, she's doing better, you know, I mean there's like CEOs of big fucking companies that make 80 bajillion dollars in the shop. They're fucking miserable because their brain perceives life differently, you know?

[Rat]

Right. Exactly. Exactly.

[Lyle]

I don't know how one changes their perspective necessarily. I think that there's like a. There's some. Something intuitive has to happen there. Or maybe it's a drug, or maybe it's just living the nature of living life. Maybe it's some. Some intentional desire to do so. Maybe it is an external factor. Maybe it's genetic. I think about these. These things a lot. I really, really don't know. I mean, what about you? Have you noticed any shifts in your perspective lately?

[Rat]

Lately? I mean, I don't know. I've lately been getting kind of tired of my monotonous life. So lately, I don't know, I've been trying to hit the gym as much as I can. Been trying to, you know, eat healthier, I guess, be more money conscious, you know, I recently, like. Well, it's. I. I stayed in the same chain. I've been, you know, at this pizza chain for a few years now. But I moved locations and like, different, like, franchises. And so it's been, you know, a bigger influx of money, thankfully, or I've been making better money, so. Yeah, more money to, you know, treat myself instead of just, you know, doing what's best for everyone else, putting everyone else in front of me, you know.

[Lyle]

More importantly, what kind of pizza benefits are we getting on these gigs?

[Rat]

Honestly, it depends on the franchise. Because the last franchise I worked for, they really didn't give a shit if, you know, you took pizza home or whatever. It would be free at this place. We're a little bit more stricter than that. You at least really, you know, put it in the system. At least pay a percentage of it, you know.

[Lyle]

Really, at the very end, like, you have to, like. Like, at the. I mean, like, I'm talking, like, look, the very end closing shift, right? The pizza is unsellable.

[Rat]

I mean. Yeah. I mean, they're gonna throw it away anyways. So as long as you ask, pretty much, hey, can I take this home? Or whatever, or, hey, does anybody else have plans for this?

[Lyle]

Then that's fucked up that they make you pay, right?

[Rat]

Pizza, Right. That's what I mean, actually.

[Lyle]

Well, here's. Well, let me ask you that. Like, these, like, you don't have to tell me again, the restaurant you work for, but, like, is the restaurants kind of like a. Like the big chains are still small businesses kind of, right? Isn't that how, like, franchising works?

[Rat]

Yeah, Pretty much. It depends on like the city. The franchisees, they have like a good handful of stores that they just, you know, look over. Oh, shoot. They're. They're telling me my delivery is ready, but yeah, yeah, it's more, you know, small change.

[Lyle]

Well, listen, I don't want to keep you. I would feel. I would feel horrible if I knew that I was taking part in the delaying of any pizza delivery orders in the world right now. So I'll, I'll let you. I'll let you go do your thing. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

[Rat]

Go ahead. Sorry. It's just been an honor to. To talk to you. It's been again, you know, a journey and to the people, computer, just.

[Puffy]

I.

[Rat]

Don'T know, just stay happy, do things for yourself and you know, focus on your goals. Just live your life.

[Lyle]

Pretty much steal as much pizza from this place as you possibly can and feel. Don't. You don't have to feel any guilt about it, Puffy. I'll take all the guilt to me. Eat as much of the fucking places pizza as you can.

[Rat]

Exactly. Exactly. Thank you so much for taking my call, Lyle. Yeah. You have a good day.

[Lyle]

You too. Bye Bye, Puffy.

[Rat]

Bye. Three pals then.

[Lyle]

How does that, how does that work with. Because I know that they're like, they're small businesses. Some of them are right, like that. Like, like, like they, they pay like a fucking license or something. So I guess if it's a small business, you don't want to steal the pizza from them. But I don't know now I kind of want pizza now.

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[Lyle]

This is an iHeart podcast.