“THEY THREW MY BROTHER IN JAIL”

Summary

Therapy Gecko – “THEY THREW MY BROTHER IN JAIL”

Podcast: Therapy Gecko
Host: Lyle (the Therapy Gecko)
Episode Date: February 8, 2026
Episode Description: An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing.

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Episode Overview

This episode features three in-depth conversations with callers Jez (from Australia), Amy, and Sully. The main theme delves into the profound impacts of family, trauma, friendship, and existential uncertainty, all explored through Lyle’s offbeat, authentic, and wryly philosophical lens. The episode oscillates between heavy topics—incarceration, estrangement, depression, life direction—and moments of levity in classic Gecko style.

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1. Jez – “They Threw My Brother in Jail”

Starts: [01:43]
Ends: [31:49]
Key Segments: Discussion about Australian civil rights, Jez’s brother’s incarceration, Jez’s experience growing up in a small town, living with disability post-military, and future aspirations.

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Key Discussion Points

• Comparing Civil Rights (US vs. Australia)

  • Lyle expresses surprise at strict rules (“…so many places in the world where if you did that to like a police officer, you would die.” [03:02])
  • Jez explains Australia’s less protected speech, stricter law enforcement, and courts making examples of people.

• Jez’s Brother’s Story

  • Brother was nearly murdered, killed someone escaping (self-defense).
  • Due to a national concern over knife crime, the courts ignored context and gave a harsh sentence (“he got like 30 years…no consideration for self defense.” [06:22]).
  • Jez’s brother was in early 20s at sentencing; Jez will be 55 when he’s released.

• Family and Community Fallout

  • Jez details being unfairly profiled in his small hometown due to his brother’s reputation (“people would like Tommy with the same brush…” [08:53]).
  • Explanation of not visiting his brother due to military restrictions and strained family ties.

• Australian Prisons

  • Lyle asks if prisons in Australia are “nice” like Scandinavian ones; Jez says no, Australian prisons are harsh (“a lot of drug use…gang stuff…reoffending rate…nuts” [11:41-12:21]).
  • Brother had a prior prison stint for assault; cycle of reoffending discussed.

• Detachment and Coping with Hardship

  • Jez speaks on emotional detachment as survival (“…if you, like, make it all this bad, your identity…it would just, like, eat you inside.” [14:16])
  • Lyle relates and expands on not letting trauma be your identity (“You don’t want to be fucking defined by the bad shit that happens to you…” [15:22])

• Military Discharge & Life with Disability

  • Jez broke his back in the military, medically discharged, survives on a pension.
  • Reflection on how remaining tethered to trauma keeps people “stuck” (“…never detach themselves from that life…they always have to be this way because it becomes identity.” [18:18])

• Aspirations for a New Future

  • Jez is planning to open a liquor store with a friend—“J & J’s”—as both a business opportunity and a reason to get up in the morning (“…I need something and I can’t be passionate about like someone else’s business…any success you have is yours.” [27:22])
  • Lyle encourages him enthusiastically and jokes about pranking the store once it opens.

Notable Quotes

• “That is kind of awesome…that is America working as it was intended to.” – Lyle [03:02]
• “Instead of any of like the self-defense aspect coming into play for him…they threw the whole book at him.” – Jez [06:22]
• “If you, like, make it all this bad your identity…it would just, like, eat you inside.” – Jez [14:16]
• “You don’t want to be fucking defined by the bad shit that happens to you…” – Lyle [15:22]
• “…never detach themselves from that life. So what you’re saying, though, they’ll always have to be this way because it becomes identity.” – Jez [18:18]
• “The last things people give up in these trying times is tobacco, alcohol and drugs…if you sell that, your business doesn’t have to collapse.” – Jez [25:03]

Memorable Moments

• Lyle playfully promises to prank call J&J’s Liquor in six months ([28:16])
• Candid reflection on not visiting his brother, and weighing the psychological cost of remaining attached to past trauma ([14:16], [17:03])
• Jez’s matter-of-fact delivery of traumatic events contrasted with Australian dark humor

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2. Amy – “Friendship Breakups and Moving Forward”

Starts: [36:23]
Ends: [53:40]
Key Segments: Long-term friendship ending; adjusting to adulthood; learning about perspective and letting go.

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Key Discussion Points

• Marriage, Individuality, and Change

  • Amy reflects on being with her husband for 13 years, changed by relationship but staying independent ([39:57])
  • Lyle admits a realization: partners don’t need to share every interest for a relationship to work.

• Losing a Best Friend

  • Amy details breaking up with her best friend of over a decade, the pain exacerbated by proximity to her birthday ([42:19])
  • The breakup was not abrupt, but due to growing apart and hidden animosity; post-conversation, they’re not friends again but have closure.

• Lyle’s Perspective on Emotional Boundaries

  • Lyle challenges Amy about investing emotion in a distant friendship ([43:06]):
    “That’s a lot of drama and emotion for somebody who’s not in your life…” ([43:27])
  • Stresses importance of safeguarding emotional energy for people truly in your life: “Your time and who you spend it with are deeply precious, you know?” ([48:48])

• Amy’s Growth and Outlook

  • Amy recognizes now she doesn’t have to keep friendships that drain her in adulthood.
  • Learns from the podcast and her life to reframe perspective, finds meaning in letting go and focusing on what matters.

Notable Quotes

• “I just have a life. You know what I mean? Like, you’re older now, you got a life.” – Lyle [47:14]
• “…the time moves faster than you can hold it. And if you don't pick the people and the things that are important to you, then you just get dragged…in a bunch of meaningless whatever…” – Lyle [48:48]
• “It’s all a matter of chance. And as a person, it’s all a matter of choice and perspective.” – Amy [51:03]

Memorable Moments

• Amy links back to a past episode in which “being a lizard” was metaphorically discussed as escape from problems ([51:03])
• Lyle riffs on existential self-care, challenging listeners to shift their focus from people who aren’t central in their lives.

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3. Sully – “Should I Leave Pallet Town?”

Starts: [59:15]
Ends: [79:38]
Key Segments: Sully’s struggle with life direction, family loyalty, existential dread, and seeking reassurance.

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Key Discussion Points

• Life Dissatisfaction and the Search for More

  • Sully, 22, is working a dead-end job, feels lost among peers: “Like, I'm here, but I don’t feel like I'm happy. I feel like there should be more…” ([65:13]).
  • Lyle encourages experimentation: “Just do random stuff. Just do all of it. Don’t. You’re freaking yourself out for no reason, man.” ([66:00])

• Family Ties vs. Independence

  • Sully is afraid to leave town/state due to close family ties—especially not wanting to upset his mom ([66:43-70:26]).
  • Lyle urges healthy separation: “It’s on your mom to let you go have your own life. But it’s on you to…just decide that you need to have your own life.” ([69:26])
  • Draws parallel to Pokemon: “It’s like you’re playing Pokemon and you’re not leaving pallet town, you know?” ([71:36])

• Existential Fears

  • Sully confesses obsession with the nature of death (“…it’s really hard for me to fathom, like, what happens…” [72:25]).
  • Lyle’s take: Death anxiety is universal but diminishes when we let life pull us in: “I’ve decided, personally, I think it’s good to go through that…but at a certain point…you’ve got to just, like, be in it.” ([75:56])

• Living in the Moment

  • Sully is “such a go, go, go person.” His mother tells him: “Just be. You're here. Just be.” ([76:11])

Notable Quotes

• “You want to look back on your life and be proud of yourself…because you interfaced with the planet.” – Lyle [70:46]
• “Life is good, dude. Life is good. And it's gonna get better. I really believe that.” – Lyle [76:57]
• “You want to have life experience so you can help your kids go through their life.” – Lyle [78:46]

Memorable Moments

• Extended riff on Hercules (“I have often dreamed of a far off place…” [71:40]) and comparing Sully’s predicament to refusing to leave Pallet Town in Pokemon.
• Lyle’s story of an elderly man returning soup at a diner, to illustrate that even near-death, most people are living life, not worrying about death ([73:51])
• Sully’s earnest signoff: “Love yourself and be kind.” ([79:32])

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Episode Takeaways

• Resilience and Detachment: Jez’s story frames resilience as learning not to be defined by pain, with Lyle reinforcing the value of forging your own path post-trauma.
• Boundaries & Letting Go: Amy’s call highlights the necessity of emotional boundaries, especially as adult responsibilities grow. Lyle pushes listeners to invest deeply only in meaningful, reciprocal relationships.
• Embracing Uncertainty: Sully’s existential struggles prompt Lyle’s core message: pursue growth, embrace new experiences, and resist being tethered by fear of the unknown.
• Living Well: The consistent thread: Don’t be trapped by your past or fear. Define your identity, reject inertia, and live for yourself and your aspirations.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “If you, like, make it all this bad, your identity…it would just, like, eat you inside.” – Jez [14:16]
• “You don’t want to be fucking defined by the bad shit that happens to you.” – Lyle [15:22]
• “Your time and who you spend it with are deeply precious, you know?” – Lyle [48:48]
• “It’s like you’re playing Pokemon and you’re not leaving pallet town, you know?” – Lyle [71:36]
• “Love yourself and be kind.” – Sully [79:32]

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Overall Tone

The episode blends raw honesty, dark humor, and philosophical musings on navigating adulthood, grief, and the search for purpose. Lyle’s unaffected curiosity and empathy guide callers toward clarity—encouraging, often irreverent, and always grounded in lived experience.

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For Listeners:
Whether grappling with past trauma, difficult family ties, lost friendships, or existential unease, this episode affirms: your past does not define you, your time is precious, and courage means stepping out—sometimes just to leave Pallet Town.

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Call to Action:
As Jez says: “Just keep going. That’s it. Try something else.” ([31:38])

Transcript

[Amy]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Jez]

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[Lyle]

That makes too much sense. Pizza Hut.

[Jez]

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[Lyle]

Ever.

[Jez]

No, this season we know sports and it's the biggest game.

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[Jez]

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[Jez]

And massive slices so big you have to fold them.

[Lyle]

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[Jez]

The big New Yorker in the Pizza Hut app or pizza hut.com.

[Lyle]

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[Jez]

Hello.

[Lyle]

Hi. What's your name?

[Jez]

Holy shit. It's the Geckman. My name's Jez.

[Lyle]

Jez. What's up, Jez?

[Jez]

Na Master. What are you up to?

[Lyle]

Not much. Are you calling from Australia?

[Jez]

Hell yeah.

[Lyle]

Cool.

[Jez]

Yeah, I'm in Australia. It's not very sunny and hot though. It's raining.

[Lyle]

Do you guys have a lot of civil rights in Australia?

[Jez]

Civil rights?

[Lyle]

Yeah, like, because I don't know, like, I keep. All right, so I've been thinking a lot about America and I'm like, you know, America, we're like. We're like. We like. Our whole thing is like, we have a lot of freedom. Right. But I'm like, aren't there a lot of places that kind of have that.

[Jez]

Yeah, we do have protected.

[Lyle]

Like, I don't know.

[Jez]

They are meant to be in the state. Oh, sorry. We do have rights, but they're not constitutionally protected like they are in the U.S. for example, hate speech laws that have just been created. Like, they sort of take away the right to free speech from certain groups.

[Lyle]

Interesting. There was a guy getting arrested here. I. I know, man. I don't know. I know a lot of bad shit's going on in America right now, but I was like, there's this guy. This guy got arrested outside of my apartment, like, a little bit down the street. And. Oh, yeah, this guy was getting arrested, and this other guy was like. Went up to the cop and started screaming at him and went like, go suck a dick. Suck a dick. You suck a dick. Suck a dick. You. You suck a dick, you. And I was like, d. And I was like. And I was like. I watched that, and I was like, that is kind of awesome. I'm like, that is America working as it was intended to? Because there's so many places in the world where if you did that to, like, a police officer, you would die.

[Jez]

Yeah. In Australia, you get, like, thrown in a cell.

[Lyle]

Really?

[Jez]

Well, yeah. Like, it. Because it's sort of like you're impeding the process of, you know, law enforcement, I guess. Well, he was.

[Lyle]

Okay. He wasn't, like, getting up in his face about it, but he was like. He was standing. Like, he's standing, you know, a respectful enough distance away, but still yelling that.

[Jez]

Oh, I'm just heckling him. Yeah, yeah, I'll respect that.

[Lyle]

Can you. Okay, so if he. So if that happened in Australia, would that guy get arrested?

[Jez]

Yeah, I would. Well, depends on the context. Like. But, yeah, if they kept going for, like. Like, a super long time, they'll get screwed. Like, they'll get arrested and, like, they'll have some thrown at them for no reason. It's like.

[Lyle]

Yeah, it's.

[Jez]

It's. It's a pretty, like. And in Australia as well, like, it's not very well known, but, like, judges, the courts will try and make examples out of people because of, like, certain crimes that they're trying to reduce. I'm, like, a crazy story about that happening to my brother. Yeah, like, strap in. It's not. So. My brother was in a situation where some people were trying to, like, murder him. Right.

[Lyle]

Oh, my God.

[Jez]

And, yeah, so they, like. They had him, like, tied up. They, like, injected him with some sort of thing that, like, made him pass out, and he, like, woke up and, like, during, like, trying to escape. He, like, killed this guy. Right.

[Lyle]

Wait, so wait, so this. So your brother. Someone was trying to murder your brother, and then your brother escaped, and then while escaping, he had to, like, he killed someone?

[Jez]

Yeah, because he was in like a car. And he was like locked inside it with these guys.

[Lyle]

Wow.

[Jez]

And there was a convenient like. Yeah. Knife in the back and he. Yeah. Kind of. Kind of murphed this guy.

[Lyle]

Whoa.

[Jez]

Yeah. But at the time in Australia, there was this massive problem with like kids bringing knives to school and just like a massive rise in knife crime. So instead of any of like the self defense aspect coming into play for him, that like, his life was threatened, he's had the like whole book thrown at him and he got like 30 years, something like that. No consideration for self defense. Yeah, man. Yeah. I'll be like 55 when he gets out, I think.

[Lyle]

Damn. So he's in prison right now?

[Jez]

Yeah. And you'll be in prison for another 23 years, I think.

[Lyle]

Jesus Christ. How. How old was he when that happened?

[Jez]

I think he was like, like early 20s. Like 22, 23, dude.

[Lyle]

Jesus Christ. So who. That's super. Do you visit him?

[Jez]

No, I don't. I kind of. I kind of found contact with him because I was in a job where I wasn't about to visit prison and then I just sort of fell out of contact with him.

[Lyle]

Wait, you were in a job where you weren't allowed to visit prisons?

[Jez]

Yeah, I was in the military, so. And like, I wasn't allowed to go visit prison while I was serving.

[Lyle]

Interesting.

[Jez]

Yeah. And also have like a, like a strange relationship with him. So it's kind of hard too.

[Lyle]

Why did you have a strange relationship with him?

[Jez]

Oh, like, like strange life. It was very difficult because he was. Yeah, it wasn't the, like, he wasn't the greatest role model. Like, he was not, Not a bad egg, but he was up to no good and made it very hard for like, me growing up. So it was like a small mall area that we lived in. And yeah, it made my life pretty hard.

[Lyle]

What was the. I mean, not like, like, oh, okay. So he would go around causing trouble and making a bad name for the family in a small area. And then you're associated with him. So it's putting. It's making your life harder too, kind of thing.

[Jez]

Yeah, absolutely. Like, because people would like Tommy with the same brush, I guess you'd call it. Like, they would be like, oh, that's like this guy's brother. Even though I was like the complete opposite, I was like a normal dude doing normal things. And like, I'd get like pulled over and have my car, like, searched like once a week and by the police. And I'm like, I've never been to the police. Station before.

[Lyle]

Wow.

[Jez]

Yeah, it was pretty ridiculous. You know, it's. I should visit him, but I also just. It's. I don't like going, I guess, going to prison.

[Lyle]

Do I. Do you have siblings? Do you have other siblings besides him?

[Jez]

No, it's just me. And you.

[Lyle]

Do your parents visit him?

[Jez]

Yeah, pretty frequently. And I like hookah. I can't pass it for them while they're gone. I guess that's my contribution.

[Lyle]

You guys go visit. You guys go visit my brother. I'll water the plants while you're gone.

[Jez]

Yeah, I water the plants, look after the dogs and all that. It's great.

[Lyle]

Yeah, no, that's. That is definitely the better part of the gig for sure. That's a better end of the deal for you.

[Jez]

Yeah. Sometimes it's annoying, but because it's always on like a Saturday night, I have to stay there because you like. But my friends had to travel, like. Like it's a 10 hour round trip to visit it.

[Lyle]

Whoa, really?

[Jez]

Yeah, and it's like driving too. There's no flight to that sort of area.

[Lyle]

What? I mean, I don't want to. I don't want you to dox yourself. But like. So he's in a. Wait, what city do you live in?

[Jez]

I live in like Canberra. Like the. The. You probably hadn't heard of it, but it's like the.

[Lyle]

No, I. I know Canberra. It's the. Yeah, it's the capital. I know Canberra. I'm hip.

[Jez]

You gotta come to Canberra sometime.

[Lyle]

Say again?

[Jez]

You gotta come to Canberra sometime.

[Lyle]

Comedy Canberra.

[Jez]

Like, just come here for a show.

[Lyle]

Oh, yeah, I do. I did an Australia tour. Fucking almost three years ago now. I didn't hit Canberra, but I had a good time, man. I like Australia, but yeah, I didn't hit Canberra. What are. Do you know what prisons are like in Australia? Like, you know how. Okay, like, you know how in fucking Denmark and stuff? Like, the prisons are super. Are nice. Are they nice there?

[Jez]

Have you.

[Lyle]

Do you have any ideas?

[Jez]

No. Yeah, also, like, I. I know from like, my brother and I have a couple of like friends and stuff that have been inside and it's pretty like, there's a lot like, A lot of. A lot of like, drug use. Like buprenorphine, which is like a. Opioid replacement therapy. Everyone's like on that and it's. There's like gang stuff in there. Like, it's pretty similar to America. It's not like people will go in there for like, maybe tax fraud for like six months and they'll come out just, like, 10 times worse than the person. They, like, entered prisoners.

[Lyle]

Whoa.

[Jez]

It's not a. It's not something that reforms people, because I want to say the length of. I went to the length of time, so my doxity. But my brother was in prison before this now sentence. So he was in, he got out, and he went back in and. People, the reoffending rate in Australia is just nuts.

[Lyle]

Wait, so hold on. So your brother got out, like, fully out, and then he just, like, committed another crime? What would happen?

[Jez]

Yeah, so he was in, like, a. I think it was like he had a fight with someone. It was like an assault thing. And he was in for like a. Like a short span of time, like a few months, and then he was out, and then he ended up, like, reascending and going back in.

[Lyle]

Oh, wait, like. Okay, so the. So he's in right now for the knife thing, but he went to prison before that?

[Jez]

Yeah, yeah, he went to prison before for a separate incident.

[Lyle]

Dude, why was. Who. Who the fuck was trying to kill your brother?

[Jez]

Junkies. Hey, it's, like, nuts. Like, some junkie.

[Lyle]

You said. You said some junkie.

[Jez]

Yeah, or some junkies. And it was like, they're all just, like, on, like. I think it was like, meth and stuff. I don't know if my brother was. But they were. And apparently it was because it was like, over a girl or something.

[Lyle]

Man.

[Jez]

It was like the most crazy situation.

[Lyle]

You seem like, go ahead. Sorry.

[Jez]

Oh, no, you. You go.

[Lyle]

You seem. It's okay. I don't know if it's just because it's in the past or whatever, but you seem like you're. You're at this point fairly, like, detached from your brother.

[Jez]

Fairly detached from, like, life in general, I'd say. Okay, just. You sort of gotta. Just. You, like. You can't create it. Like, you can't make it, like, all this bad, your identity, otherwise it would. It would just, like, eat you inside. Like, EQ up.

[Lyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Jez]

If you, like, stay, like, in, like, you, like, you still acknowledge that these things are, like, you know, they're terrible things, and it have profound impact on your life. But you can't, like, make that who you are. And it, like, people, like, see you and it's like, oh, this is the person that had, like, this thing happened to them and that thing.

[Lyle]

Yeah, right, Totally.

[Jez]

It can be seen as weakness, and then people could treat you as weak, and then they, you know, they could take advantage of you in that manner which I've experienced before.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I mean, that makes 100%. That makes 100% success. That makes 100% sense. That, like, you don't want to be fucking defined by the bad shit that happens to you, but. Okay. I didn't want to ask you this because you said. We talked about your brother a little bit. We just got on the subject kind of randomly. You said you're feeling detached in general.

[Jez]

Yeah, just from, like. Like holding on to the past, I'd say.

[Lyle]

Oh, okay. Do you feel detached from the present?

[Jez]

I. I live in the moment, but it, like, the moment leaves me quite quickly. Like, the. If something bad happens, like, it won't be with me the next day. Almost as, like, terrible, of course, but it doesn't. Don't let it, like, consume me. I try not to at least, but.

[Lyle]

I thought, I guess. Okay, so you're not, like, depressed, you're just, like, living in the moment.

[Jez]

Oh, I am. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay. Sorry.

[Jez]

Yeah, definitely. I've been diagnosed with it. I don't take anything for it, medication wise.

[Lyle]

Wait, how old are you?

[Jez]

I am 25. 25. 25.

[Lyle]

You're 25. Do you live with your parents?

[Jez]

No, I live by myself, which is pretty chill. I want to, like, a. I was in the. In the military. I broke my back and I'm all up, so just, like, have a pension, just hang out. Fucking great. But not really. It sucks.

[Lyle]

Yeah. So. So okay, you were in the military and you broke your back. What happened?

[Jez]

I was just, like. Just during, like, doing, like, army, just, like, I had, like, an initial injury, then it got worse and worse, and then there was a point where I was, like, paralyzed for a little while. That wasn't fun. And, yeah, it gets to a point where they do a thing. Like they medically discharge me. So they say, you're like, you're up, man. Senior.

[Lyle]

How long. How long do you have money for? Like, do. Do you. Do they just, like, pay you for. For, like, the rest of your life?

[Jez]

Yeah, it's like the VA over there. Like, it's. It's called DVA here. Like, Department of Veterans affairs and. Yeah, basically. Like, it's not my plan to be, like, on it for the rest of my life because I like to study. But, like, I know people who have been on it for, like, 30 years, and a lot of them fucked up, but I think they're. They are that way because they've, like, remained in, like, the mindset of what happened to them, not to discredit, like, what they've done, but it. As I was saying, like, they Never detach themselves from that life. So what you're saying, though, they'll always have to be this, this way because it becomes identity. I know a guy, he's 55ish. He's like 55 and like he left the army like 20, 30 years ago, like physically, but mentally, like, no, he's still there. He like, still like, like he sees himself as above people due to the rank he had or under some people if they had a higher one. He acts like everything he does is in this sense, but it's because he never let it go. You've got severe pts, de. Never in like an environment that like fostered growth. So I don't really hang out with like people in a similar situation as me. Just. Yeah, we all like, sit around, like, I, I reminisce from time to time with my friend. I don't talk about how bad it was all the time. So stay with me.

[Lyle]

So I assume is this, is this a conditional pension? Meaning can you. If you start to work again or make an income or file anything on your taxes, does it go away?

[Jez]

So, yeah, partially. It's. So there's like one organization that's like full life under certain, like until you get a job that meets or exceeds the level of the job that you were doing, like in the military. So that's like if, let's say you were like an accountant in the army, for example. If you become an accountant in like the normal world, then you'll lose the pension. But if you're in the infantry, there's like no job that compares to that, so you'll have it forever. And then there's another organization that like calculates like hours. And it's basically once you start working like over 20 hours a week, they just like cut that like half of your pension. So like, it ends up being like, like 25 less fortnightly for your whole pension because you've worked. But it's, it kind of doesn't work out very well. There is like, there's little, there's very little incentive to work a 9 to 5 for people in this edition because they earn more money not doing so.

[Lyle]

Yes. So let's talk about you. So you're, you said I have a pension, so I don't really have to do anything, which is awesome, but also sucks.

[Jez]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

So.

[Jez]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Are you. Are you are. You are. Can you walk?

[Jez]

Yeah, I can like, like pretty much every moment of my life since I've been in pain. And like, I, I went to like a rehab inpatient facility it wasn't like a rehab. It was a mental health thing. But because I was taking this like, like in lethal amount of painkillers every day, and I've gone to something a bit better. And like, the handoff is like, I'm awake and present in the day, but I mean, like an amount of pain, so I have to tolerate or I can just be like, knotted out of my mind all day. So I got off the pain meds and it's. I can walk. I can't run. I can't stand for that long. I can't walk that far. Yeah, I have like lifting problems. And it's. Yeah, like, it's crazy. Like. Like, to me, it's like sort of normal, but it's. It's like people are like 25, shouldn't be that up. It's like. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Hmm.

[Lyle]

So you said, you said that staying on the pension is not your plan because you studied. So what's. What's that future? It seems like you have a. You have a lot of future aspirations. All this notwithstanding. What do those look like?

[Jez]

Yeah, I sort of just want to like, so me. And if like me and a friend are getting into like, business issue, like just looking at opening like the retail stories, like building like up front and doing stuff because it's just like something to do.

[Lyle]

Wait, that would kick ass. Wait, that'd be sick. Wait, what's the stock?

[Jez]

Yeah, like, probably a liquor store.

[Lyle]

Hey, that'd be awesome.

[Jez]

It sounds terrible. But like, we have. There's like a. Like, obviously, like, maybe I don't know about in America, but they're kind of in like a cost of living crisis here in Australia is what they say. But it's really a recession. It's probably the same in the States. It's like everything's too expensive at the moment.

[Lyle]

Yeah. It's also happening in the States.

[Jez]

Yeah. The last things people give up in these trying times is tobacco, alcohol and drugs. And like, it might sound scummy, but like, I don't know, people could buy wherever they go. They're gonna buy from somewhere. And if you. To prove yourself. Because, like, I've watched during COVID like, like many people I know that own businesses, if their businesses product was incompatible with the way like Covid changed the world. Now we had to live in that time they went under. Whereas, like, if it was a business that sold, let's say activewear that could. People were all wearing that and going. Walking around their neighborhood because that's all they could do. That business would soar. But regardless of what happens in the world, everyone's going to keep drinking, smoking cigarettes. And that just means that your business doesn't have to collapse. You have to see something coming.

[Lyle]

I don't know, I don't find, no, I don't, I don't find that inherently scummy at all is a billion people who, who own liquor stores. I mean, I just, I think I like, you know, I think starting your own, starting a business is cool. Plus you can give it like a old timey. What's your, what's your name?

[Jez]

It's Jez.

[Lyle]

Jez.

[Jez]

Well, my mate's name is, his name is like, starts with a J as well. So we're going to call like J and J's because like I don't know, that's what you said. I was like, I like it.

[Lyle]

No, no, no, I like it. I like it. Liquor store, tobacco store, whatever it is, it's fun to.

[Jez]

Oh God, we should start a strip club.

[Lyle]

Start a strip club. It's fun. Start just, it's fun. The idea, I don't care what's in the building. I don't care if you are. It's like, you know, you could do it, you could do a place where people go to euthanize their dogs. Whatever it is, look, whatever happens in the building, who cares? I'm saying the, to have a building and then put your, your like own name on it is cool. I think it's a good thing to do. That's fun.

[Jez]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't know because like he needs a reason to just get out of bed and keep going every day. And like I need something and like I, I, I don't want to, I can't be passionate about like someone else's business and I don't want someone to yell at me either. Like a boss or something. I don't know. That's like the worst thing ever. There's like you can be your own boss and then any like any fuck ups you have are on you. But any success you have is yours. Which I find is really hard to get. Like being employed by someone.

[Lyle]

Where. When will JJ's liquor be of open for business? That's when I'll go to Canberra.

[Jez]

Hopefully the next like six months maybe. We'll sponsor your event, man. We'll all get up.

[Lyle]

All right, all right, listeners of this podcast. 6 okay I'm. Dude, six months from now we're all gonna go to fucking Google Maps and go to Canberra and search for J, J J. And J's liquid.

[Jez]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

All right, cool. All right. All right. Six months from now, I'm gonna go on Google Maps. Six hours from now, I'm gonna go on Google Maps. I'm gonna set a reminder. Six months. Someone remind me. I'm not gonna remember. Someone remind me. If. If. If anyone cares, can I make me do it? Yeah. In six months from Saturday, February 7, 2026, I'm gonna go to find Camber on my Google Map and search for J.J. lickers. And if it's there, oh, I'm gonna prank call you guys.

[Jez]

Yeah. No, that's good. Sometimes you need a little bit of a push. Not even that. Sometimes you cycle. That's what I like to get you through. Like, oh, I should do something now.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Wait, were you not gonna do it? Is it was this just.

[Jez]

No, no, I'm doing it.

[Lyle]

All right. Yeah, you better. Oh, no, I want to see.

[Jez]

I gotta do it quicker.

[Lyle]

Oh, yeah. I mean, do it, don't do it. Whenever you can get it done, you know? Well, all right. Seven months from now, I'll give you an extra month.

[Jez]

Yeah, I was even just. Yes. Like, at the moment, we're doing planning and stuff. It's just, like, finances, things waiting for, like, payouts to come in and stuff like that.

[Lyle]

How much money you need to open a liquor store in a suburb of Canberra?

[Jez]

Like, 200,000 Australian, which probably be, like, 120,000 U.S. oh, okay.

[Lyle]

That's not a crazy amount of money to like, start a business.

[Jez]

Yeah, it's not terrible. Like, you've got to, like, sort of strike gold. Like, you got to find a place that's suitable and, like, all of that stuff.

[Lyle]

Yeah, it's a strong. It's like. It's a str. It's a heavy investment and a heavy risk, but it's not. Those aren't, like. They're, like, worse upstart costs for, like, starting. Yeah. You can probably get a loan to do that. Are you gonna get a loan?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Jez]

Oh, nice. Pay for it. Yeah. Right? I mean, like. Yeah. When you're, like, broken, say sometimes, or not all outright, there'll be a bit. Bit of a loan, but we'll try. Like, we've got, like, set. Put savings and stuff into it.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Jez]

Just. Who likes debt?

[Lyle]

I'm happy for you, Jazz. I'm glad. I actually do appreciate you. I appreciate that you're continuing to, like, live your life, like, then, like, actually do it. Pretty sweet.

[Jez]

Thanks, man. Appreciate that. Yeah. I've seen a lot of people not do that and she's who I don't want to be. Not to hate on them. It's just, you know, someone ended up like that.

[Lyle]

Jez.

[Jez]

Yo.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer about your life or about life itself before we go?

[Jez]

Yeah, just keep going. That's it. Try something else. Right. Thank you.

[Lyle]

Bless you, Jez. Thank you for calling.

[Jez]

Bless you, too.

[Lyle]

Take care, ma'. Am.

[Jez]

You see, like, bite is.

[Lyle]

All right. Let me just make sure. I'm gonna go to Google Maps. Can burn Australia. All right. Ha. What a funny looking city. There's a big hole in the middle of it. No, it's not a hole. It's a parliament. Canberra. Okay, I'm gonna search J and J. Okay, there's a J and J pharmacy. JJ hair, J and J bagel. Search J and J liquor store. Oh, what the fuck? What? Don't show me some shit in Lyndhurst, New Jersey. I'm in Canberra. I hate Google Maps. I hate my fucking life. Sorry. Let's go back to Canberra. Sorry. I don't know. I'm. I shouldn't yell. Supposed to be a therapeutic show. Okay, how do I search? I want to search here. Okay, J and J Liquor, Canberra. Okay, there's a Liquor. Okay, there is no currently existing J and J Liquor. There's Liquor Land Warehouse. That's pretty. That's Sun. There's the National Museum of Australia. I don't know what accent that was. Sorry. There's Liquor Land, Canberra. All right. I don't. I, I, I'm. Here's what I'm realizing is that I. If I don't stop talking right now, I'm just going to.

[Jez]

Wait.

[Lyle]

J and J Spirit Shop. Oh, it's in New York. What the. All right, all right. I'm gonna stop talking so that we can move on with this podcast instead of just listening to me. Use Apple, Maps, Google Maps, whatever. Who cares? Who cares?

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[Amy]

Hello hi.

[Lyle]

Hi. What's your name?

[Amy]

I'm Amy.

[Lyle]

Amy. Amy is the name of a famous fictional hedgehog who, who is she's not really the love interest of Sonic the Hedgehog because Sonic the Hedgehog is is kind of an alpha male. He's. He's more or no rather he's a Sigma male. He's a little bit more obsessed with going fast and kind of achieving the mission. And Amy, Sonic is Amy's love interest and Amy is always trying to convince Sonic to marry him, but Sonic is just too. He's just truly a hedgehog on his Sigma Grind set. And so Amy is constantly, constantly rebuffed. But she's a nice girl, Amy. You know, she's. I think when Sonic is finally ready to settle down and start a family, I mean, he's only canonically. I think he's 16, so he's a little young to get married, but he's 16 in human years. So in hedgehog years, he might actually be a ripe old hedgehog.

[Amy]

Right, right. Yeah. Need for speed, not relationships.

[Lyle]

Yes. Okay. So you know Amy. You know Amy Rose the hedgehog?

[Amy]

Vaguely, but yes, I'm familiar.

[Lyle]

Well, it's okay. You don't need to because you are not a fictional character. You are your own human being. You're a real person named Amy or fake named Amy. What's up, Amy? How's life?

[Amy]

It's good. I just got home from work. My husband went to go play a one piece tournament. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that.

[Lyle]

I know the anime One Piece, but I didn't know that. It's like, how's. Is it a game? How's it a tournament?

[Amy]

Yeah, so they recently started. Two years ago, I think it was two years ago they started their own, like, trading card kind of similar to Pokemon. And at first he was just kind of like hoarding cards. It was becoming a huge issue because.

[Jez]

He'S spending so much money.

[Amy]

But now since he has all this bulk, he's like, well, maybe I'll start playing it for fun. And now he does that, and I just kind of hang out till he gets home.

[Lyle]

Do you have your own version of one piece card game tournaments? Like, what do you do when he's there? You just hang out?

[Amy]

Well, sometimes. Not really. I'm not as huge into it as he is, just because, like, mentally I just don't really care for it. But I do love the anime. I'm a huge fan of it. I just. I don't know, I just can't really get my mind around playing a card game sometimes. But no shame to that. Like, he. He loves it. So I'm just there to support. But I just got home while he's doing that.

[Lyle]

It's funny, in. I thought I was thinking about this today, actually is in my own Love Quest, let's call it. I used to think that I needed somebody who was like, perfectly aligned with me on all my interests. You know what I mean? Like. Like I have a creative job. You know, maybe I want someone who also has a creative job. Like, I like all these things. I want someone who likes all these things. And I'm part. I've had the realization today that, like, I'd like that, but it's not. It's not as much of a necessity to the success of a relationship as I think I always thought it would be.

[Amy]

Right. No.

[Jez]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And I get that because, I mean. I mean, he and I have been together for. This year will be 13 years. We've been married for five. And I mean, I feel like we do have a lot of things in common, but we're also just very different. But those are things that I like, things that I appreciate, you know?

[Lyle]

How old are you?

[Amy]

I am going to be 33, and he is going to be 33 as well. We're just six months apart.

[Lyle]

12 years. So you got together. You were 21?

[Amy]

Yeah, roughly, if not 20, like, closer to, like, the end of when I was 19. Ish.

[Lyle]

Oh, well, after 13 years, it's like you almost. Your individual development has been so deeply influenced by one another that it's like.

[Amy]

True, true.

[Ad Read - Therapy for Black Girls]

But I also.

[Lyle]

Go ahead.

[Amy]

No, no. I was just gonna say, even though. Yes. Like, we've been together for so long, like, we're each not like the same person we were when we first started dating, or at least I feel like I'm not the same person. I used to be a lot more, like, reserved and quiet, and now I'm a lot more outspoken. But at the same time, I feel like that's also been influenced in him because he's also very, like, outspoken and not afraid to, like, speak his mind. So it slowly made me kind of be that way, but it also influenced me to kind of reach for things that at first didn't really align with him, if that makes sense. But it was just more like my own goals. His own goals. But we still meet in the middle, if that makes sense.

[Lyle]

So, Amy, I must ask you, is there a particular reason why you called into the Gecko show today?

[Amy]

Over. I've been listening to you for about two, three years, roughly, maybe more on the two. I was actually listening to you on the way home, and when I parked, I saw that you were going live. And I've actually emailed you before. I don't know if you'll remember. And I went by Amy then. So Amy is not my real name, but I had emailed you before regarding that. I had, like, kind of a friendship breakup. I don't know if you remember or if that's ringing any bells?

[Lyle]

Yeah, that rings a bell.

[Amy]

Yeah. I was sitting in a parking lot eating Wendy's, and you were taking emails, so I had emailed you while I was eating Wendy's. But, yeah, essentially I wanted to talk about my friendship breakup and how it happened in October, literally, like, a couple days before my birthday. And that's what made it really hurt. But we actually recently reconnected, but not necessarily to become friends again, if anything, to kind of. I don't know, clear some air, which I didn't really. If anything, it kind of still. We're still not friends, but we have more of an understanding of why we're no longer friends, if that makes any sense.

[Lyle]

It does make sense, but can I actually, you know, can I get with. Can I give you my gut reaction about this? And I feel like it's. Yes. My gut reaction is like, man, that's a lot of. That's a lot of drama and emotion for somebody who's not in your life. You know what I'm saying right now?

[Amy]

And that's totally fair.

[Lyle]

You know, I mean, it'd be one thing if it was, like, an ex that you spent a lot of time with or something, and whatever, but I don't know. I mean, were you, like. Was this, like, one of your best friends? This is, like, a really close person to you?

[Amy]

Yeah, we were best friends since, I want to say, roughly 2012, 2013. And we. I feel like we had, like, a lot of things in common. Like, we both have moms that are kind of our biggest haters, so we kind of would bond over that. And then we had a lot of music interests. We grew up very similarly. And gradually, as we were getting older, we were just getting closer and closer and. But in the last, like, three, four years, I don't know, I felt like things slowly started changing between us and we weren't relating to each other as much anymore. And as I recently found out, after we talked, she was kind of building. I don't know. She described it as almost like an animosity towards me in regards to feeling like I wasn't always as supportive of her. But then in turn, she said, you were actually very supportive of me, and you were always there for me. And I just didn't see that at the time, which. I don't know. It. Did it make sense to me. I mean, it. It makes sense as she was saying it. But then I think of my own experience in our friendship and feeling like I did always try to show up and be there and be accommodating. Because, for example, she doesn't drive, like, because she lives in, like, downtown of my area. So she doesn't really need to drive if she really had to. But I would live, like, more in the suburb area. So it always. I would always be willing and happy to go out of my way to go see her and hang out, do our stuff. And then she wanted to be like, oh, well, you're always running late.

[Jez]

I'm like, well, I'm coming out from farther.

[Amy]

I don't know what you want me to do. Well, yes, I could plan better, but.

[Lyle]

But this is. I mean, this is. I'm going to hammer back in. What I was saying is a lot of emotional energy and stuff for that. I mean, do you want to be friends with this person?

[Amy]

I mean, just because of the fact that I felt like we went through so much together, I do miss her. However, I told her that I don't feel like I could be her friend anymore because, 1. I feel like we're just both in different parts of our lives where it doesn't align as much or. I felt like for her, she just has her own things going on and it was just so much of a focus for her where even if I felt I wanted to talk to her about things, she didn't really make herself available. So I told her, yes, I miss you. I miss what we had, but I don't know if we can continue being friends. And so I feel like it's just more. It hurts more knowing, like, what I lost or what I had lost even from before then to now.

[Lyle]

Brother, you're. Listen, brother, you're. You're 33 years old, right?

[Amy]

Yeah. At that point, a lot of drama.

[Lyle]

Well, it's like, dude, you know, at this, like, you're 33 years old, you're married. Do you have a kid?

[Amy]

No.

[Lyle]

Are you planning on having a kid?

[Amy]

Hopefully. Hopefully by year's end. But you never really know. I do have a job. I do dog grooming, so I love my job.

[Lyle]

You have a job, you have a husband, you gotta. I just have a life. You know what I mean? Like, you're just older now. You got a life. It's like, you know, it's kind of like, what are we doing, you know, with the whole, like.

[Amy]

Yes, exactly.

[Lyle]

It's like, it's too. It's too.

[Amy]

Anymore.

[Lyle]

No, I mean, it's too much. It's like, listen, if someone's doing something to piss you off, just tell them and it's fine. Also, I'm at an age where if someone's doing. I'm at an age where if someone's doing something to piss me off, unless if they're in my immediate life, I don't bring it up. I don't care anymore. Cuz you know what? It cuz you get all like, you get older and you just realize the time moves faster than you can hold it. And if you don't pick the people and the things that are important to you, then you just get dragged in a bunch of meaningless whatever and then you look at your life and you realize that your life is an amalgamation of things and people that you don't give a fuck about. And so there's just. At 30, like it's one thing if you're like in high school, literally or like college, but like at this point in your life it's like homegirl, I can't be, I can't be sending you breakup emails back and forth. You know, I got, I got a life and so, and hopefully so do you. I get the morning of it though. I, I understand, but I don't know. Yeah, it's just like that's a lot, some people are a lot of emotional energy. If someone's in your life and you want them to stay in your. Like I have friends who I'm like, I'm gonna be friends with these people until I'm like 80. But those, a lot of those guys don't even like live where I live. A lot of those guys I don't even see every day. So I. Those converse, those conversations of like, oh, this is my, this is those like emotional conversations of like, oh, these are my feelings and this is how I think you treated me. And this is I. Those are like those, this is how I want to communicate with it. Like that kind of shit is reserved to me for like people in my day to day life. People I'm working with, people I see every day, people I'm romantically intertwined with. Like that's because all that shit just takes so much emotion, you know, it just takes so much emotional energy. So it's like I gotta reserve that emotional energy for the people who are like in my life. Not the people, not just like someone that I get lunch with once a month or that, you know, whatever. And it's okay. It's not, it's really not selfish to feel that way. Your time and who you spend it with are deeply, deeply, deeply precious, you know?

[Amy]

No, right. And I mean I totally agree because anyone I meet now, I guess in Adulthood or whatever. Like, I feel the same as how you explained it. Like, if I don't like something, like, I don't have to deal with it. And that's why I feel like I'm kind of why I was holding on to my friendship with her for so long. Just because I felt like it. That whole thing, I had invested so much or whatever, like, I wanted to preserve what I could. But then it just came to a point that when we stopped being friends, I was like, you know what? I don't need. I don't need that. But it just was really sad to think about sometimes because I would miss her or whatever. But like you said, there's other things going on. And what is it? Because it's like, one thing that I've listened to your podcast before that you've mentioned or. And where you went to a lizard expo or something.

[Lyle]

I went to a lizard. I went to a lizard zoo. Shout Out. The Gecko Gallery in Brooklyn, New York. Yes.

[Amy]

So I listened to that. And I mean, I've always considered, like, it's always all about perspective and all that. And it was funny how you spoke with someone there and they said, like, oh, if I was a lizard, like, I wouldn't have to worry about all these things or because someone would take care of me, or someone would watch over me because I'm a lizard. And I started to think about it, like, well, I mean, yes, someone could take care of you, but that's like assuming there's someone to take care of you. Like, it's all a matter of chance. And as a person, it's all a matter of choice and perspective. Like, because you get so many calls of people just going through, you know, their own shit and their own problems, and yet they overcome it. And I'm like, okay, maybe my problems aren't necessarily that bad. Or I can always look at it a different way. Like, for example, if I was having a bad day at work and I was, like, angry or whatever, like, oh, my manager gave me all these horrible dogs, or, oh, she, like, overbooked me or whatever, I'd have to slowly shift it to, okay, well, maybe I do have a lot on my plate today, but it's an opportunity to manage my time better or maybe ask for help when I typically wouldn't, or stuff like that, you know? Yeah, just shifting the mentality.

[Lyle]

It's deeply fulfilling. It's scary at first, and then when you really think about it, deeply fulfilling to realize that nobody cares about you or your problems at all. Even people Who. Like, that's like. Even people who love you don't really care about your problems because they have their own problems. They don't really care about what you do. But it's good. If everyone cared about everyone's problems, then we would all. We would all suffocate. We'd all. We'd all blow ourselves up. Amy.

[Amy]

It'd be too much. Yes.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Amy]

No, not necessarily. I guess if anything, to just keep perspective and keep trying and maybe watch a midnight Shyamalan movie, because that's what I've been binging lately. I watched Knock on the Cabin. Knock at the Cabin yesterday with Batista, and it was actually really good. Made me really sad, but it was really good. You should watch it.

[Lyle]

Batista. Batista. Thank you very much for calling, Amy.

[Amy]

Thank you, Lyle. Have a great day.

[Lyle]

Have a good night, Amy.

[Amy]

Bye.

[Lyle]

Batista. Let me Google it. Batista. Oh, Dave Bautista. Okay. He's an actor, and he was in Knock at the Cabin. How's it end? I'm gonna read that. This is what I like to do, is I like to read the very. You guys want. I'm gonna read the very end. Okay. If you haven't seen Knock at the Cabin, I don't really watch movies. I watch one movie every three years, and it's usually really good. I watched Marty supreme is awesome. That's the one movie I've seen in the last five years. Okay. I'm going to read the very end of. Skip ahead 15 seconds in the podcast if you don't want to hear the end of Knock at the Cabin. All right. They drive off, making a stop at a crowded diner where they watch news reports confirming that the disasters have abruptly ended. You know what's crazy? I don't. That doesn't give away. I feel like that doesn't give away anything. I feel like that movie has not been spoiled for me because I don't know who they are. I don't know. There's a lot of. There's a lot of stuff. I don't know why I did that, but it's because I don't. I'm never gonna. I'm gonna. Okay, let's. I'm gonna spoil the end of the Game of Thrones. Sorry. I know you guys want to hear phone calls, but how does Game of Thrones end? I'm not gonna watch it. How long is it? I'm gonna save everyone time by spoiling the ending of Game of Thrones right now. If you're currently watching it, I'm about to spoil. Skip past where the ad break is because I'm gonna spoil the end of Game of Thrones. All right, The Iron Throne. That's the series finale of Game of Thrones. How's it end? Fuck this. I don't want to watch this shit. How's this fucking shit end? All right? John leads them to return to the lands beyond the wall as the millennia long winter in that region begins to thaw. Who cares? I bet if I see. I would care about that if I had watched the whole. I think it's the point of TV is you're supposed to slowly start caring about the characters afterwards. Like, I mean, over time. But if you just go to the Wikipedia page of a TV show and then you read the last line, then you, you'll be like, I don't give a shit. What? All right, one more. What? The Sopranos. Fuck the Sopranos. Wait, I've already seen the ending of the Sopranos. He's just like. He looks up. That's the ending of the Sopranos is. He looks up. All right, all right. Sorry.

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[Lyle]

Hello.

[Sully]

Yo, Gekko.

[Lyle]

What's up, brother? How you doing?

[Jez]

No way.

[Sully]

Good. How are you?

[Lyle]

How am I? I'm doing not too bad. I'm enjoying life. I'm not sad. I'm not satisfied. I'm definitely not satisfied. No, I'm not satisfied. There's a lot more that I need to refine and do before I'm satisfied. And I'm stressed out about it because I don't have good enough systems in place for. For me to feel truly peaceful and satisfied with myself.

[Jez]

Okay, but I'm.

[Lyle]

But I'm on the way there. I have full confidence I'm on the way there. The problem is that I'm. I'm 28 and I live in a universe that I've created at this point. You know, when you're like, when you're in college in high school, it's like, all right, I'll just wait until the next grade. But then once you graduate, you're like, you can't do that anymore. You just. There's no next thing. There's no purgatory. There's just this is it. You know, it's great. I love it. I love. I feel the most free at this age in my life.

[Sully]

I love that for you.

[Lyle]

Very free. I Feel. I've also had at least three separate times where I thought there was nothing past this. Like, okay, like three separate times where I was like, I think everything's over. And I'm not even talking about, like my career or whatever. I'm just talking about like life, you know, I've had three times where I'm like, I think that it's over and then there's like a whole new life behind it. It's cool, it's interesting. And so I've learned that's happened to me enough. And I Also, I see 46 year old guys in New York, like walking around and like, eating sandwiches, and I'm like, one day I'm gonna be that guy. And that's like five lifetimes from now. So I feel good. I feel pretty confident.

[Jez]

Fuck yeah.

[Lyle]

That's how I'm doing. How are you doing? What's going on? What made you want to call my Gecko show? That's what I want to know.

[Sully]

Well, we've talked before and I've been wanting to give you an update. So I've been trying to call you, but I never get through.

[Lyle]

Okay, what do we talk about?

[Jez]

The.

[Sully]

I was on the podcast, the episode is OCD and skateboarding. And we talked about how I thought I had OCD and that I was like, traveling and like teaching kids how to skate and shit like that.

[Lyle]

Cool. Okay. I. You know, it's funny. I'm gonna be so honest with you. I know. I remember the name of that episode, but I can't remember a lot of what we talked about. So why don't you go ahead and tell me where you're at right now?

[Sully]

Well, I'm at work. So if I gotta go, I don't.

[Lyle]

Mean, I don't mean physically figure it.

[Sully]

Out, but like right now in life.

[Lyle]

Yes.

[Sully]

Well, I have yet to go to a psychiatrist. I've been to therapy again, which is great. And I have a girlfriend now, and she has kind of like opened up my eyes about thinking about the world differently. And that has also helped me a lot. So we're kind of there. We're doing good, Deck. Some. Some bad parts, but, you know, it's life.

[Lyle]

Okay, that's pretty good. What ways has your girlfriend helped you see things differently?

[Sully]

She, like. One thing that really stuck with me when we first met was like, she told me that she doesn't think embarrassment is real, which sound. At first, I'm like, all right, I'm skeptical. But she was like, well, if you do like something embarrassing or like what you think is embarrassing, but you play it off like it's not, then nobody else will think it's embarrassing. And I kind of totally understand that for some weird reason.

[Lyle]

100% correct. You know, she never thought of it that way. Yeah, well, I mean, how do you think, like, that's how cool people operate is they just play everything off like it was meant. Like they meant to do it.

[Jez]

Exactly.

[Sully]

Also, I've been playing Kendama a lot recently, which, if I go to one of your shows, I'm bringing you a Kandama 100.

[Lyle]

I'm very excited for that.

[Sully]

It's super sick for that. I don't know. I've just been kind of living. I'm also not satisfied with my life right now. And so I've just been, like, running around trying to figure myself out. But I'm really young, so I'm still trying to. I'm trying not to rush things, but at the same time, I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be, if that makes sense. Like, I look at, like, I know comparison is the thief of joy. And I look at, like, kids that I went to high school with. I mean, some are doing bad, some are doing good, some are getting married because I'm. I'm gonna be 22 this year, so I'm pretty young, but I just, like. I work at a parts store right now, and I've been here for three years or so, and I kind of. I'm kind of like, am I supposed to be here? Like, am I supposed to be somewhere else in life? Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't feel. Like you said. Like, I don't feel satisfied. Like, I'm here, but I. I don't feel like I'm happy. Don't get me wrong. But I. I feel like there should be more, if that makes sense.

[Lyle]

You feel like there should be more? Well, like, I'm not. What. What more? What more do you want there to be, brother?

[Sully]

See, and that. And that's the thing is, like, I don't know. And I guess that's where I'm like, should I go to college? Should I quit my job and switch jobs? Should I. Like, I'm going to Colorado for my birthday. Here.

[Jez]

Here soon.

[Sully]

And I miss Colorado a lot, so I'm like, should I check that out? Like, where I should go there? Like, maybe move there? I don't know.

[Lyle]

Do all of this kind of just how. You're 22.

[Sully]

Yeah, I will be.

[Lyle]

Do all of it, man. Just do random stuff. Just do all of it. Don't. Don't. You're freaking yourself out for no. For no reason, man. Just.

[Jez]

Just.

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Just.

[Jez]

I did. I just think that.

[Lyle]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but just, just. Just. Just do something, man. I'm such a. Like, all my family, so I live in anything.

[Jez]

You're.

[Lyle]

You're a perfectly. You're a. You are a perfect human being. You're perfect. You're perfect. You're not such an.

[Jez]

I just.

[Lyle]

Just go do something, man. Okay.

[Sully]

If this makes.

[Lyle]

Okay, yeah, go. Just. Cuz.

[Jez]

Okay.

[Sully]

So, like, I. I live in Iowa, and all my family and friends are in Iowa and not really realizing that. I'm pretty lucky to have, like, grandparents and a couple of great grandparents still at my age. So I'm very family oriented and I love my family a lot. And it's really hard for me to be like, all right, I'm going to say fuck it and move states, or, like, I can't do anything till September because my lease isn't up until then. But I, like, I'm scared that I'm going to, like, make my mom mad or, like, upset that I'm leaving or.

[Lyle]

Hold on, hold on. Stop, stop. I. You can't be upset that you're making your mom mad. What's your name again?

[Jez]

Sully.

[Lyle]

Sully. Sully. Sully.

[Jez]

I know.

[Sully]

Geck. I know. Geck.

[Lyle]

Sully, Sully. I'm literally yelling. I'm pissed. No, I guess I can hear you. Can you hear me? I'm yelling.

[Jez]

Yeah, I know.

[Lyle]

Pissing off my neighbors. Dude, I watch tv, so. Fuck. I. Dude, I'll watch tv, like, at what I think is a normal volume, and then I'll walk into, like, the apart my apartment hallway, and I could hear the TV from, like, the elevator. Nobody's ever said anything to me, so I don't think it's a problem. But, like, everyone, like, there's at least 10 other people that are trying to ignore this conversation right now. They can hear my version of it. They can't hear your. They can hear me yell, Sully.

[Sully]

Fuck it, Wilson.

[Lyle]

Sully, I'm gonna kill you. No, I'm not gonna kill you, but Jesus Christ, man. Like, by the way, I get it. I know I. By the way, I have this. I want you to know something. I have the same thing, dude. Like, I go home, like, I have the same thing, dude. Like, I. I recognize that, like, I've chosen to, like, leave my hometown and, like, live a life I live. Live my own Life. I would never do it any other way. Like me, my sister, we, like, that's what we decided to do with, with our lives. And I. It was never an option to not do that. But I go home and I'm like, my mom looks, like, rapidly older every time I see her in person. So does my dad. Um, it's hard. It's a bummer. I call them frequently. I was on my, the phone with my mom. I was on the phone with my mom today, and she told me a story about how I was almost never born. But that's her story.

[Jez]

Oh, shit.

[Lyle]

But I call them all the time, and I have, like an adult relationship with them. And it's on. First of all, it's on your mom to let you go have your own life, but it's on you to at some point just decide that you need to have your own life. I, I get, I get. It's a very American thing, and it is. It's a very American thing to go and have your own life. But you have it in you to want to have your own. Your mom's not forcing you to want to have your. She's doing the opposite. You. I feel within you that you want to have your own life. So, like, go have your own life, man. Like, don't let your mom tell you to not do it. Go have your own life. It's good. You don't want to be like a kid forever. You want to have your own semblance of existence on this own world. And by the way, call your fucking mom once a week. Call your grandparents, call them, visit them.

[Sully]

Oh, I do all the time. I love them.

[Lyle]

I'm sure you do. That's great. Like, by the way, you're family oriented. You want to meet, you want to meet a woman. You want to meet. You want to have a wife, you want to have a girlfriend, you want to like, do all that stuff.

[Sully]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

In order to do that, you have to have your own life.

[Sully]

You're right.

[Lyle]

You know, so Gecko's right. You. You want to. You want to look back on your life and be proud of yourself. Not even because, whatever, you made a bunch of money or you were successful or whatever, but because interfaced with the planet. And go, you know what? Go watch. Here's, here's what you got to do after this, bro. Go watch the. The beginning of Hercules. Oh, God, dude, go watch. Oh, my God, it's so. It makes me cry. I have often dreamed of a far off place. It's a great song. Go search go on YouTube, search. What's the name of the song what's the name of the song from Hercules where he leaves his parents and goes. Leaves. Goes on an adventure?

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Sully]

I haven't seen him forever.

[Lyle]

Oh, it's. I can go the distance. Go search up. I can go the distance on YouTube. You can go the distance, Sully, it's like you're like playing Pokemon and you're not, you're not leaving pallet town, you know?

[Jez]

Wait, can we get. Can we get deep for a second?

[Sully]

Can we get deeper?

[Lyle]

You're just going to. You want to. Do you want to spend Sully, do you want to spend this life catching bidoofs in pallet town, or do you want to get yourself a Rayquaza?

[Sully]

I want a Rayquaza.

[Lyle]

You want a Rayquaza? Yes. We can get deep. What's up?

[Jez]

Okay, I.

[Sully]

Okay, I want to know your. I've been really stuck on this for a while because it's on the topic of life, right?

[Jez]

Okay.

[Sully]

Recently, I. I don't like talking about death. And I know it's gonna happen and it's. When it's my time, it's my time. But like, for me, it's really hard for me to fathom, like, what happens if that makes sense. Like, in my head, like, my family's not like religious, but like, I believe there's like a higher power. And so I'm like, okay, like, we go somewhere when we die, but at the same time, I'm also. Well, there's nothing after. You know, it's like what people say, like, oh, do you remember when you were born? No.

[Jez]

All right.

[Sully]

It's the same and like, scares the fuck out of me. And I want to know what you think.

[Lyle]

Here's what I think. The other day, okay, you're 22 and you're freaking out about this every day. Dude, the other day I was at a. I was at like a diner and there's a like 87 year old man next to me. He was eating soup and his soup. He didn't like his soup. So you know what he did?

[Jez]

He ate it.

[Lyle]

No, no, he, he, he asked the waiter, he was like, hey, I didn't like the soup. Could you like, could you remake it? He asked the waiter to remake his soup.

[Sully]

Interest.

[Lyle]

You know why? Do you know why this is relevant?

[Sully]

Why?

[Lyle]

Because that guy is, is 87 years old. He's being. He's gonna get sent into oblivion any day now. Solely any day now. That 87 year old man is Gonna get sent into oblivion. And he's over here pissed off because his soup is. He's not pissed off. He wasn't pissed off. He wasn't pissed off. I don't want to characterize him. He's not grumpy old man, but he was, he wanted the soup, you know, that he went, he was assertive. I, I, he was not a grumpy old. But he was nice to the waiter, but he just wanted to. And, you know, I saw. But the point about this guy is he's just living his life, and that guy should be way more scared than you. You have a lifetime ahead of you before you need to worry about death. That guy could die that afternoon. That could, God, that guy could be like, oh, I don't like the soup. Aneurysm, death. You know, he's not even thinking about it. He's thinking about his dumbass life. He's thinking about exactly what's going on in his stupid, almost over life. And so that's what I think is the right thing to do until you're dead. I don't, I don't know if it's the right thing to do until you're dead. I, I have, of course, I've talked about a lot on the podcast about, like, being afraid of death and asking the major questions of life and all this stuff, but I'm, I'm over that, man. I'm over that. I, I've decided, personally, I think it's good to go through that. I think it's good to have your questioning and your thinking and all that stuff. But at a certain point, man, you got to join the living, and you got to just, like, be in it. You got to have things that pull you into life, whether it's, like, responsibilities or people or goals or novelty or drugs and alcohol or, you know, whatever it is that is your thing. Just, you got Joe. Join the living.

[Sully]

I'm such a go, go, go person. So recently, I've been trying to, like, live in the moment and just be, like, all right, I'm here. I'm doing this. Like, let's not think about the next thing. And, like, what my mom says is, just be.

[Lyle]

Just be.

[Sully]

You're here. Just be. And I've been really trying to do that recently, especially, like, in the new year. That was one of my, like, whatever New Year's resolutions or whatever is to just be. And I, and I'm doing all right. I'm doing decent, but it comes across my mind all the time. And then I try to not freak out.

[Lyle]

How old are you? How old's your mom?

[Sully]

50, 49? 50.

[Lyle]

She's living her life, right? She's just being. She's existing. She's not freaking out about death. She's not freaking out about being old. She's not grieving her 20s. She's grocery shopping and walking around and watching TV.

[Sully]

That's true. Seinfeld. Seinfeld.

[Amy]

Fire.

[Jez]

Fire.

[Sully]

Show.

[Lyle]

Life. Life is good, dude. Life. Life is good. And it's gonna get better. I really believe that. I'm excited. I'm excited to. I was talking to my friend on the phone today and he was getting his. He was getting lunch with his aunt and his aunt is like 6, 60 something, and she was like stuffing let. She's like frantically stuffing lettuce in her face and like, kind of, she like eating really grossly, like just being like, oh, yeah. So we're gonna make sure we get off on that and just like eating really gross and. And it was like, oh, that's. That's good because it's like one day I'll be. One day we'll be like 60 something. We'll be much closer to death than we are now. And we're not gonna be worked out. We're not gonna be freaking out about it. We're gonna be like eating food really grossly and talking about some fucking thing that doesn't matter. We're going to be fine. All those people are going to be dead that we're talking about right now. And it's going to be our turn to. To ignore our own deaths. And we'll be fine. It's going to be fine. I promise you. It's. We're designed to go away, but in the meantime, and this is why you need to leave your fucking pallet town is because in the meantime you're. You want to look at. Live a life that you're proud of, right? And you want to have. When you're older, if you're going to have your family oriented, you probably want to have kids. One day when you're older, you're going to want to still do all the things that you want to do now, and you'll figure out a way to do them. But when you're older, you're going to want to have a life that you can talk about to your children. You're going to want to have life experience. Experience so you can help your kids go through their life. And you know, you want like, like just live your life, dude. Like, you're. You're sitting Here you're freaking out about death when you're not even living your life, you know, so. And I. And I know, I know it's hard. I know money is tight in this economy, and. And it's a. It's hard. It's not the easy path to go and live your life and try to do a thing. It's easier to just whatever. And again, it's a very American thing, I think, to go out on your own. But if it's what you want to try, then at least try it. That's all. That's my rant to you, Sully.

[Sully]

Thank you, Jack.

[Lyle]

I'm sick of hearing my own voice, so I'm gonna let you go.

[Sully]

No, you're good.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?

[Sully]

Love yourself and be kind.

[Lyle]

Thank you, Sully. Good luck, man.

[Sully]

Thank you, Gick. See ya.

[Lyle]

That was Sully. I like Sully. I do. Sully's a good guy. I went on a bit of a rant, but that's okay. I kind of actually like going on rants. I actually was. I lied. Nobody, nobody hosts. Nobody who hosts a podcast doesn't like the sound of their own voice. That's a lie. Hello folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy gecko over at therapygecko.supercast.com Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show. They get recordings from my live shows members only streams, and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode. Wait, wait. Why are you meeting your parents at a casino?

[Sully]

My father had told me that his cousin could do roofing.

[Jez]

So he said, hey, you know, just.

[Sully]

Give me the money and I'll help you out. I gave them about three grand. And week after week, month after month, you know, I'd be like, what's up? Where are you? Are you going to come? And he never came. I asked my father for the money back and my parents immediate response was, you don't understand. You owe us for raising you.

[Lyle]

If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at three therapygecko.supercast.com or find the link in the episode description. That's therapygecko.supercast.Com all right, I have nothing else to say.

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[Lyle]

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[Jez]

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[Lyle]

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[Amy]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[Lyle]

Guaranteed human.