Therapy Gecko — “WE’RE HAVING TROUBLE IN THE BEDROOM”

iHeartPodcasts | October 26, 2025 | Host: Lyle (The Therapy Gecko)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Lyle (aka Therapy Gecko) dons his signature gecko persona to field calls from strangers about their personal dilemmas. The episode touches on issues with intimacy in long-term relationships, adult children dealing with their parents’ divorce, the challenges of starting over, social isolation, and embracing life's imperfections—often with Lyle's unique blend of deadpan humor and sincere empathy. The show's tone bounces between light-hearted banter and deeper reflections on emotional growth, adulthood, and personal responsibility.

Main Callers and Discussion Points

1. Lizard — Bedroom Troubles in a Long-Term Relationship

[02:08 – 13:45]

Background

• Lizard (25) has been with her boyfriend (26) for eight years; she is his first serious girlfriend.
• She struggles with how to rekindle their sex life and communicate her needs without making her boyfriend feel criticized or inauthentic.

Key Discussion Points

• Lizard feels things have “lost their luster” and wishes her boyfriend would intuit and authentically respond to her needs.
• She feels he doesn’t learn from instruction and instead, when he tries, it feels performative and forced.
• Lyle pushes Lizard to be more direct and honest about her desires. He suggests the issue is about finding authentic desire, not just following instructions.

Notable Quotes

• Lyle [07:48]: “You guys have been together for eight years. You can say to him, ‘Hey, I want you to do this.’”
• Lizard [10:01]: “…when he does it, it’s almost like you can tell he wants his performance to be positively reviewed, and then it feels fake.”
• Lyle [11:12]: “You gotta, you gotta kind of tell him that… don’t pretend to be a character or something or put on a performance that you think I want. I want you to look within… and authentically desire this.”

Insights

• Eight years together brings intimacy but also the risk of stagnation.
• True connection in intimacy requires authenticity, not just performing what one thinks the partner wants.
• Communication—clear, non-judgmental, and honest—is vital, especially in long relationships.

2. Julian — Navigating Parental Divorce as an Adult

[14:30 – 47:10]

Background

• Julian (23) is coping with his parents’ divorce after 27 years, prompted by his mother’s infidelity.
• He’s estranged from his mother, close to his father, and trying to help his family adjust.

Key Discussion Points

• Julian describes his father's transformation: after a period of depression, his dad returned to social life, dating and clubbing.
• Julian helped encourage his dad to get out and move forward.
• The family dynamic: Julian has two brothers (one is getting into trouble in the local music scene), and a four-year-old daughter himself.
• Dilemmas with meeting his dad’s new girlfriend and her children—navigating a blended family as an adult.
• Reflection on being the “man of the family” and managing responsibility at a young age.

Notable Quotes

• Lyle [32:10]: “You strike me as a… real man. You’re like the eldest… you’re like the point person of the family… taking care of your kid, trying to help your brothers, you’re getting your dad out at the club being less depressed.”
• Julian [39:19]: “She [dad’s new girlfriend] has kids as well… her kids had told my dad, if it’s something serious you want… when are we gonna meet your kids? But I’m kind of nervous about that.”
• Lyle [44:43]: “The idea that somebody who’s not blood related to you can be family was foreign to me for my entire childhood and adolescence.”

Insights

• Divorce can be destabilizing even for adult children, forcing reevaluation of family and loyalty.
• New family structures bring discomfort, especially for those used to a certain family configuration.
• There’s value in encouraging loved ones to heal and move on, and also in embracing new forms of family.

3. Alexis — Returning Home, Social Isolation & Journaling

[52:00 – 78:46]

Background

• Alexis (27) returns home after a period away, following a breakup and health struggles. She struggles with social isolation and career uncertainty.
• Shares that 90% of her social interaction is through listening to Therapy Gecko’s show.
• Discloses mental health and eating issues, and the comfort found in routine.

Key Discussion Points

• Alexis is in a transitional stage: living at home, working a simple job, feeling disconnected from peers, facing pressure to establish a future path (nursing school).
• Discusses difficulties in making friends as an adult, and how moving disrupted her support network.
• Shares experiences with therapy, family life, introspection through journaling, and the cyclical nature of personal growth.

Notable Quotes

• Lyle [54:55]: “Thank you for listening… but I do need to inform you that this doesn’t really count as social interaction.”
• Alexis [77:02]: “Her drawing was just of a big spiral… life is like this, right? You start in the middle, and every time you go around the circle, you might end up back in the same place, but you’re looking at it from a different perspective.”
• Lyle [77:10]: “I hate that I’m gonna think about that every day for the rest of my life.”

Insights

• Social isolation is common, especially for those experiencing transitions or mental health struggles.
• Personal journals often reveal that while circumstances change, core traits or struggles repeat—personal growth can feel like spiraling rather than linear progress.
• Support systems are essential, and even podcasts can offer a sense of community, but real connection begins with reaching out.

4. Julian — Living With Mice (and Life’s Imperfections)

[81:55 – 87:20]

Background

• Julian (possible same as prior or a new caller) moved into a new place plagued by mice and seeks advice—part practical, part existential.

Key Discussion Points

• Lyle questions the caller’s need to “fix” the mouse problem, suggesting embracing imperfection.
• The conversation becomes a metaphor for accepting life’s messiness when some things are out of our control.

Notable Quotes

• Lyle [85:51]: “That’s life, right? We would like for there to not be mouse poop in our house… Sometimes there just is mouse poop.”
• Lyle [86:07]: “Sometimes life is about learning to deal with the mouse poop in your house.”

Insights

• Not every problem demands a solution; some circumstances must simply be accepted or endured.
• A humorous take on life’s inevitabilities—sometimes, as in the Japanese phrase “shoganai,” you just have to accept what is.

Memorable Moments & Reflections

• Lyle’s gentle but direct advice to “Lizard” on intimacy: being authentic beats performative effort in relationships. ([11:12])
• Julian’s pride in supporting his dad's post-divorce happiness, and his open talk about adult family roles.
• Alexis’ metaphor of life as a spiral, not a circle—a powerful reframing of recurring challenges. ([77:02])
• Lyle empathizing and self-reflecting alongside his callers, especially regarding family, adulthood, and the limits of self-improvement.
• The mouse saga—turning a mundane household nuisance into a philosophical lesson about acceptance. ([86:07])

Standout Quotes with Timestamps

• “You want him to just like fucking, you know, want it, you know?”
  — Lyle to Lizard, on sexual authenticity ([11:12])

• “You strike me as a... real man. You’re like the guy of the family... taking care of your kid, trying to help your brothers, getting your dad out at the club.”
  — Lyle to Julian ([32:10])

• “Life is like this... You start in the middle, and every time you go around the circle, you might end up back in the same place, but you’re looking at it from a different perspective.”
  — Alexis, recounting a group therapy insight on the spiral of growth ([77:02])

• “Sometimes life is about learning to deal with the mouse poop in your house.”
  — Lyle ([86:07])

Episode Structure and Navigation

• [02:08] – Lizard’s call: sexual stagnation, communication, long-term relationships.
• [14:30] – Julian: adult child navigating parental divorce and blended families.
• [52:00] – Alexis: returning home, isolation, self-examination, family dynamics.
• [81:55] – Julian: living with mice, acceptance of imperfection.

Tone & Takeaways

The episode is a quintessential blend of Therapy Gecko’s comic honesty and philosophical warmth. Through each call, universal themes come through:

• Authentic communication and self-knowledge (in love, sex, and family)
• The evolving nature of adulthood and responsibility
• The struggle to find community and meaning, especially after loss or disruption
• Acceptance of imperfection—whether in ourselves, our families, or our homes

As always, Lyle’s playful yet grounded style offers both comfort and challenge, encouraging listeners to keep moving forward—even if just spiraling outward, one cycle at a time.