Episode Overview

Podcast: Things Unseen with Sinclair B. Ferguson
Episode Title: A Husband’s Integrity and a Wife’s Respect
Date: October 16, 2025
Host: Sinclair B. Ferguson (Ligonier Ministries)

This episode delves into the biblical vision for love and respect within Christian marriage, drawing on Ephesians 5:22–33. Sinclair B. Ferguson reflects on the foundational importance of respect from wives toward husbands and challenges husbands to live worthy of that respect. The devotional also considers how these dynamics shape family life and reflect the character of Christ to children and the world.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Biblical Commandment for Marriage

• Ferguson recalls the focus of the week on family commandments, shifting from honoring parents to Paul’s instructions to husbands and wives in Ephesians 5.

• He highlights Ephesians 5:33: “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

  "[Paul] says, Let the wife see that she respects her husband. Actually, the verb that Paul uses here is the verb that's often translated, fear. But I'm sure Bible translators are right to translate it as respect."
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (01:02)

The True Meaning of Respect

• Respect in marriage is not blind love or superficial admiration but rooted in deep trust and the recognition of character.

• Ferguson draws a parallel with Ruth and Boaz, showing respect as safety, trust, and true friendship.

  “Respect means trust. Respect means that his character leads you to believe that his love is true and that he'll keep his word, that he's faithful, that there are qualities in him that you feel you can appreciate and admire... It's the kind of sense that Ruth had about Boaz, isn't it, that made her think he was the kind of man with whom she would be at home and safe and secure.”
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (02:00)

• Emphasizes that if respect is lacking before marriage, it will likely be absent after marriage.

Observations from Pastoral Experience

• Ferguson shares a personal story: While visiting couples during church conferences, he would reflect on what cultivated a wife's respect for her husband.

• He notes that superficial qualities—looks, wealth—may stir attraction but not respect.

  “Superficial things don't produce that respect. They might produce attraction, but they don't produce respect. You don't respect someone because of their good looks or their bank balance, but because of their character.”
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (03:08)

A Challenge to Husbands: Living Worthy of Respect

• Ferguson notes how these biblical dynamics place a challenge on men to demonstrate qualities worthy of respect.

• He humorously critiques the trend of writing personal marriage vows, then proposes adding a meaningful question to classic vows:

  “As you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, do you promise to live worthy of her respect?”
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (04:15)

The Impact on Children and the Home

• Discusses how a marriage marked by true respect creates security and love for children:

  “When children live in a home where that is true, they'll feel safe and loved, and they'll also get a glimpse of the Lord Jesus.”
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (04:30)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Respect:
  “It's respect that matters. And respect means trust... that his love is true and that he'll keep his word, that he's faithful...”
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (01:22–01:48)

• On Pre-Marital Respect:
  “If you don't respect him before you marry him, it's very unlikely that you'll respect him after you marry him.”
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (02:40)

• On the Core Question for Husbands:
  “Do you promise to live worthy of her respect?”
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (04:15)

• On the Home as a Reflection of Christ:
  “They'll feel safe and loved, and they'll also get a glimpse of the Lord Jesus.”
  — Sinclair B. Ferguson (04:30)

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Introduction and recap of previous episode on honoring parents – (00:08)
• Paul’s teaching on marriage and concept of respect – (00:40–02:15)
• Ruth and Boaz: an example of respect and security – (02:15–02:45)
• Personal anecdote: observing married couples – (02:45–03:30)
• Distinction between attraction and respect – (03:00–03:40)
• Challenge to young men and husbands – (03:40–04:00)
• Commentary on marriage vows; proposed addition – (04:00–04:30)
• Impact of parental respect on children’s security and faith – (04:30–04:50)
• Encouragement to revisit the basics and seek God’s help – (04:51–end)

Final Reflections

Ferguson closes with a gentle exhortation for couples to revisit the “ABCs of married life” and seek God’s help to begin again if needed, emphasizing Christ’s sufficiency for renewal in family relationships.