Episode Overview

Podcast: This Guy Sucked
Host: Dr. Claire Aubin
Guest: Dr. Surekha Davies
Episode: Christopher Columbus (Patreon Preview)
Date: August 28, 2025

This episode of "This Guy Sucked" delves into the life, legacy, and often sanitized historical reputation of Christopher Columbus. Host Dr. Claire Aubin is joined by historian of science and author Dr. Surekha Davies to scrutinize the real Columbus: his ambitions, miscalculations, and the lasting repercussions of his voyages, including enslavement and violence. Through a lively, critical, and occasionally humorous lens, the show unpacks how Columbus’s myth endures—and why it’s due for a serious update.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Behind the Scenes: Life as a Historian

• [00:52–06:13]
  • Dr. Davies shares anecdotes from her favorite archives, emphasizing the bureaucracy and quirks of historical research.
  • A humorous story about gaining access to the Vatican Library by crying—a “secret hack.”
    • Quote [05:06, Dr. Davies]: "The Swiss Guard rolled his eyes and just shooed me in anyway to, like, get this, like, crying woman out of his hair."
  • Dr. Aubin and Dr. Davies discuss how archives can be unexpectedly boring and arduous despite their glamorous image.

2. Introducing Christopher Columbus

• [06:17–06:47]
  • Dr. Davies sets the stage by introducing Columbus and the many variations of his name (Cristoforo Colombo, Cristobal Colon).
    • Quote [06:23, Dr. Davies]: "We're talking about Christopher Columbus, originally known as Cristoforo Colombo in Genoa...supposedly the man who discovered the Americas."

3. Columbus’s Pervasive Legacy

• [06:47–08:07]
  • Aubin highlights the continued reverberations of Columbus’s name: “Columbia” as an enduring reference across U.S. landmarks and institutions.
    • Quote [06:47, Dr. Aubin]: "Anytime you or anyone else has ever heard the word Columbia...that's a Columbus reference. For a long time, Columbia was used even to refer to the sort of personification of the spirit of the Americas..."
  • Emphasis on the importance of scrutinizing Columbus’s myth and legacy.

4. Myth vs. Reality: Columbus's Early Life and Motives

• [08:07–11:27]
  • Columbus was born into a modest Genoese family; learned sailing in the Mediterranean.
  • Deep dive into the 15th-century context: Portuguese navigation, spices, and Columbus’s obsession with reaching Asia by sailing west.
  • Persistent myth-busting: Most educated people did NOT believe the world was flat, but Columbus’s estimates for Earth’s size were wildly inaccurate.
    • Quote [08:07, Dr. Davies]: "Columbus's estimation of the circumference of the Earth was about one third too small."

5. Failures, Fantasies, and Magical Thinking

• [10:35–11:27]
  • Columbus underestimated the Atlantic and believed in mythical islands along the route.
  • Even post-voyage, he proposed odd theories, e.g., Earth was “more like a pear” than a sphere.
    • Quote [10:35, Dr. Davies]: "Later in life he would come up with all kinds of explanations...he even talked about the shape of the Earth not being a perfect sphere, but more like a pear..."

6. The Voyages: A Catalog of Incompetence and Cruelty

• [11:27–16:00]
  • Voyage 1: Did not reach Asia, abandoned a ship, left people behind.
  • Voyage 2: More direct enslavement and abduction of Indigenous people; supply mismanagement due to crew corruption and Columbus's lack of oversight.
  • Voyage 3: Additional acts of enslavement, growing conflict with settlers, Columbus sent back to Spain in chains.
  • Voyage 4: Shipwrecks, marooning, desperate attempts to retain promised titles and privilege as his authority crumbled.
  • Ongoing theme: Columbus’s repeated failures, poor leadership, constant excuse-making, and “magical thinking.”
    • Quote [15:21, Dr. Davies]: "...right up to the end, he was desperate to hold on to the privileges and rights...that he would be Admiral of the Ocean Sea, that he would be governor of the lands that he finds..."
  • Important historical note: From the start, Columbus enslaved Indigenous people and brought them to Spain.
    • Quote [12:34, Dr. Davies]: "...abducting people and bringing them back to Spain. So he becomes an enslaver from the very beginning."

Notable Quotes

• [06:23] Dr. Surekha Davies: “We're talking about Christopher Columbus, originally known as Cristoforo Colombo in Genoa...supposedly the man who discovered the Americas.”
• [08:07] Dr. Surekha Davies: “Columbus's estimation of the circumference of the Earth was about one third too small.”
• [10:35] Dr. Surekha Davies: "...he even talked about the shape of the Earth not being a perfect sphere, but more like a pear..."
• [12:34] Dr. Surekha Davies: "...abducting people and bringing them back to Spain. So he becomes an enslaver from the very beginning."
• [15:21] Dr. Surekha Davies: "...right up to the end, he was desperate to hold on to the privileges and rights...that he would be Admiral of the Ocean Sea, that he would be governor of the lands that he finds..."
• [05:06] Dr. Surekha Davies (on archival access): “The Swiss Guard rolled his eyes and just shooed me in anyway to, like, get this, like, crying woman out of his hair.”

Tone & Style

• The conversation is scholarly but irreverent, with both host and guest eager to puncture historical myths with sharp insights and dry humor.
• They emphasize complexity and nuance over hero worship, encouraging listeners to adopt a critical stance toward revered figures.

Key Timestamps

• 00:52–06:13: Wry anecdotes about the realities of historical research and archival adventures.
• 06:23–08:07: What Columbus means today; the ubiquity of his name.
• 08:07–11:27: Columbus’s upbringing, obsessions, and navigational errors.
• 11:27–16:00: Blow-by-blow of Columbus’s voyages—failures, violence, and legacy.

This Patreon preview offers a rich, engaging exploration of how Columbus became a cultural myth—and why he unquestionably “sucked”—blending close historical analysis with wit and a historian’s eye for the morally indefensible. To hear the full episode, listeners are invited to subscribe on Patreon.