Best Of Eps 76-80

Summary

This Is Important – “Best Of Eps 76-80”

Podcast: This Is Important
Hosts: Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson, Kyle Newacheck
Date: November 25, 2025

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Overview

In this sprawling, joke-filled “best of” compilation, the Workaholics crew (Adam, Anders, Blake, Kyle) revisit and riff on stories from their youth, odd jobs, mall culture, and their enduring group dynamic. Throughout, they spiral into hilariously offbeat tangents touching on stoner rituals, failed athletic ambitions, mall nostalgia, and the enduring mystery of what makes something “important.” Along the way, there’s heavy doses of absurdity, self-deprecating humor, and unexpected sincerity befitting four friends who can’t help but crack each other up.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Childhood Ambitions, “Going Pro,” and Pickleball

• Kyle joins the USA Pickleball Association to pursue late-blooming professional sports glory:
  • “I’m in a long game here to try and be professional by, like, mid-50s, you know? So I have like 15 years…” (05:11)
  • Group jokes about getting “stomped” by the older generation, and the delusions of athletic grandeur.
• Blake sets his sights on fingerboarding (tech decks) as his professional future.
• Adam, tongue-in-cheek, suggests he could go pro at beer-chugging or skeet shooting given five years of effort.

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2. Youth Rituals: Smoking Weed, Birthday “31 Blunt Salute,” and Stoner Nostalgia

• The Story: On Kyle’s 31st birthday during the Workaholics days, the group engineered a “31 Blunt Salute,” creating a tunnel of 31 lit blunts for Kyle to walk through, while Cypress Hill blasted.
  • “It was 31 blunt salute...I had to walk down the tunnel and inhale everything.” (12:05)
  • “If Instagram was cracking, that would have gone frickin’ viral, dude.” (12:21)
• Work and Weed: Adam recalls smoking weed in the grocery store’s freezer, while Blake’s group used the code word “Russia” for smoke breaks.
  • “We would go in the freezer and smoke weed, and then come out and there’d be a long-ass line for sandwiches.” (14:00)
  • “Hey man, you want to go to Russia?” = code for smoking in the freezer (16:04)

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3. Mall & Teen Culture: Malls as Social Event Central

• Malls were the original ‘cross-school’ social scene, the only places to meet new people outside your bubble.
  • “The mall was where all the schools came to one place… You’d see boys and girls you didn’t see every day.” (59:55)
• The group reminisce about first “online flirting” via AOL and the thrill/awkwardness of being asked to expose themselves in the early days of cybersex.

4. Odd Jobs, Union Picket Lines, and Blue-Collar Stories

• Adam talks about being on the picket line during a California grocery strike, pointing out the surreal boredom and weed-fueled camaraderie; his roommates were scabs (“apartment divided”).
  • “All you did was smoke weed in a parking lot. We would drink 40s in my buddy’s van and play frisbee.” (38:00)
  • “For me, it was just like, ‘Okay, we’re going on strike. I’m just holding a sign. I’m 19, I don’t give a...’” (39:15)

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5. Pop Culture Riffs: Songs, Sketches, and Failed Castings

• The group debates “funny” music from their youth (Barenaked Ladies, Bloodhound Gang), and the infectiousness of “irony” in '90s youth culture.
  • “You thought pre-1998, irony didn’t exist?” (19:39)
• Blake laments losing out to Daniel Radcliffe in the Weird Al biopic:
  • “Daniel Radcliffe is playing Weird Al Yankovic. This needs to be an Internet campaign...This is a yell campaign!” (48:04)
• Frequent shout-outs and callbacks to sketches from their early comedy days, Workaholics, and surreal narrative tangents (the birth of “Let’s Get Weird” at a Weird Al concert).
  • “That was the moment that the Let’s Get Weird movement was born.” (68:39)

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6. Mall Nostalgia, Glass Elevator Generation, and Mall Food

• Lofty debate (and generational divide) about whether glass elevators were ever “mind-blowing.”
  • “I remember being at a Doubletree in Waterloo, Iowa...There was a big Willy Wonka elevator...This is insane!” – Adam (42:52)
• Reminiscing about Wetzel’s Pretzels, Mrs. Fields, Orange Julius, and Super Bowl party excesses.
• Kyle references using prop mustaches and makeup tackle boxes from early Workaholics production days. (09:01)

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7. Blue Collar Hijinks: Workplace Anecdotes

• Adam slices his finger at the deli while stoned, tries to hide it from customers.
  • “I’m making a sandwich for someone and I’m too stoned...and I just sliced my finger open…” (15:45)
• Discussion about jobs at Vans, counting inventory as third key, and managing retail chaos.
• The mandatory “Did you ever jerk off at work?” thread, which devolves into tales of stress relief as night assistants/downloaders in edit bays (71:10).
  • “Allegedly, I definitely jerked off under my desk at the Workaholics office…” – Adam (70:53)
  • “One of my first jobs, I was a night assistant… And yes… there’s downtime…” – Kyle (72:45)

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8. Porno Tangents & Internet Culture

• Recurring topic: the pervasiveness of “taboo” porn (stepbrother/sister, etc) in pop-up ads, and the frustration with modern internet porn tropes.
  • “It really pisses me off…that’s so prevalent.” – Anders (121:58)
• Consistent jokes about how quick one could “go pro” in gay porn (“go to LA gym and you’ll be cast if you’re cute!”).
  • “I bet Blake would have a harder time getting into gay porno than he thinks he would.” – Adam (66:57)
• Discussion of the “Dudes Gone Wild” phenomenon, parodying “Girls Gone Wild.”

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9. Movies and Comedy: Hot Takes and Debates

• Prolonged argument over the merits of Tim Burton’s Big Fish:
  • “I was so pumped to go into that movie…and then it took its departure to bad movie land.” – Anders (131:00)
  • “That movie kicked butt. That’s one of my favorite movies of all time.” – Kyle (126:17)
• Mini-deep dive on the mechanics of aggressive skating, tech decks, and whether one could become “elite” in niche fields given five years.
  • “The level of respect Ders thinks we need to give to tech deck pros…” – Adam (108:01)

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10. Sentimental and Nostalgic Moments

• The group takes a moment to show love for Bob Saget upon his passing:
  • “What a great TV dad, man. RIP to a goat.” – Blake (115:12)
• Loving, hilarious debate over which Workaholics member would be which Full House character, with detailed breakdowns of Uncle Jesse’s “getting domed up in the car” lore.
• “Don’t ruin a good story with the truth” – a Newacheck family axiom, sparking a discussion on the merits of tall tales (128:01)

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Notable/Memorable Quotes

• On “Professional Pickleball” Ambitions:
  "I'm in the long game here to try and like be professional by…mid-50s, you know?" – Kyle (05:11)

• On Birthday Rituals:
  "It was 31 blunt salute...I had to walk down the tunnel and inhale everything." – Kyle (12:05)

• On Smoking at Work:
  "We would go in the freezer and smoke weed and then come out and there’d be a long-ass line for sandwiches." – Adam (14:00)

• On Teenage Mall Culture:
  "The mall was where all the schools came to one place." – Blake (59:55)

• On Union Strikes:
  "For me, it was just like 'Okay, we’re going on strike,'…I’m 19 years old, I don’t give a." – Adam (39:15)

• On the “Let’s Get Weird” Origin:
  "And that was the moment that the Let’s Get Weird movement was kind of born." – Blake (68:39)

• On Pro Career Pipe Dreams:
  "The level of respect Ders thinks that we need to give to tech deck pros..." – Adam (108:01)

• On Porn Tropes:
  "It really pisses me off…that’s so prevalent." – Anders (121:58)

• On Sincerity and Storytelling:
  "Don’t ruin a good story with the truth. That’s what their [the Newacheck family] is." – Kyle (128:01)

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Memorable Moments & Running Gags

• Kyle’s Pickleball Aspirations (04:00-06:00)
• The “31 Blunt Salute” Story (10:45-13:30)
• Mall, Glass Elevator and Food Court Debate (41:00-45:00)
• Rant on Step-Sibling Porn (and Clueless) (122:11-122:49)
• Big Fish Movie Fight (126:00-132:00)
• Full House Characters Recast with the Guys (117:04-118:34)
• Jungle Juice, Monster/Vodka Heart Attack Story (133:00-134:18)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [05:11] – Kyle on going pro in pickleball
• [12:05] – Kyle describes the “31 blunt salute” birthday
• [14:00] – Adam smokes weed on deli freezer shift
• [38:00] – Adam on the boredom/fun of picket line jobs
• [48:04] – The group reacts to Daniel Radcliffe as Weird Al
• [68:39] – The “Let’s Get Weird” chant is born
• [121:58] – Anders’ rant on porn pop-ups/step-sibling prevalence
• [126:22] – [132:00] – Big Fish argument (pro/con)

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Tone and Style

The episode is wildly irreverent, full of inside jokes, group banter, and overtly off-color humor. In between bits, the group’s chemistry is clear; they alternate from friendly roasting to nostalgia and even genuine friendship/admiration. Their language is consistently casual, profane, self-aware, and rooted in “dude culture” humor.

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For Listeners

This episode offers a rollicking ride through the group’s inner circle, making it a great primer for anyone interested in the "Workaholics" brand of overgrown-teenage comedy, pop culture reference, and stoner storytelling. Newcomers will enjoy the loose, unscripted format and vivid storytelling; longtime fans will find a treasure trove of callbacks, references, and new embarrassing admissions.

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Summary compiled and organized for clarity, faithful to the language and comedic tone of the original show.

Transcript

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[Blake Anderson]

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[Blake Anderson]

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[Adam DeVine]

Welcome to this Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important.

[Anders Holm]

Let's go.

[Adam DeVine]

We're back.

[Anders Holm]

I wanna wait for this part to be over. Welcome back.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I just blew a booger on my microphone.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, God.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, Kyle's back, baby.

[Anders Holm]

Look at these people. Look. Mmm. Adams, that is that stuff you were drinking last week?

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I'm back on the sauce.

[Blake Anderson]

Dang. Did you settle on a flavor? Blueberry or what's this one?

[Adam DeVine]

This is more of like a raspberry.

[Anders Holm]

Man. Were you thinking about it all week?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Guys, guys. I joined the USA Pickleball Association.

[Blake Anderson]

Are you serious?

[Adam DeVine]

This is the way. Oh my God.

[Anders Holm]

God. Association.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yep. I joined. I joined. And the reason I joined is because I'm gonna try and start competing in tournaments.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, are you really, dude?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yep.

[Adam DeVine]

That's tight.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm so into this.

[Anders Holm]

Can I tell you something, Kyle? I'm so worried for you because I remember thinking in college, I remember being like, I'm pretty good at badminton. Like in high school we played it a bunch.

[Blake Anderson]

I was always, badminton rocks.

[Anders Holm]

Maybe the best in our gym class. And then my homie too, Alex, we would go to open badminton at Wisconsin and go to these gyms and we would play each other and it was fucking, it was a good time. We had fun. And then these dudes from Asia, where it's a real sport that a lot of people play, were like, do you guys want to play doubles? And we were like, okay, okay.

[Blake Anderson]

We will.

[Anders Holm]

Destroyed us. Sure.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, yeah, I'm completely planning on getting my ass handed to me on a silver platter, baby.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay.

[Anders Holm]

And is that that fun?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, I got to start somewhere. I'm, I, I'm in a long game here to try and like be professional by. By like mid-50s, you know, so I have like 15 years to like get through all the ranks and stuff.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, that's true. That is a long. That is a long, long con. Yeah, it's.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'm not in, I'm not in a rush. I'm very much just kind of like going to start seeing if the world is for me.

[Blake Anderson]

Kyle, I had. Have you looked, watched any competitions? Have you looked at any level of play outside of like the people you're playing with in Toronto and our homies, 60 year old parents? Have you looked outside of that yes.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, which, by the way, I. I did play our homies. 60 year old parents and I got stomped the other day.

[Blake Anderson]

Right?

[Anders Holm]

60 year old parents.

[Kyle Newacheck]

65. I think they're 65.

[Adam DeVine]

Time to go.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, you gotta be part of the association now.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

So hot.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'm gonna take a couple deep breaths here.

[Blake Anderson]

We are in. Everybody taking.

[Anders Holm]

That's a baseline right there.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Let's take some deep breaths.

[Adam DeVine]

Did you see the. It was like a high school sort of talent show or something and they did that riff.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Really?

[Adam DeVine]

And the school lost their fucking mind.

[Anders Holm]

They went crazy.

[Blake Anderson]

Like, was it during like a marching band thing or was it like a talent show?

[Adam DeVine]

No, it was like a. It was like a pep rally or something. And like the band was performing and then they just go boom, boom, boom.

[Anders Holm]

Boom in the school. What's dope is that the teachers. You can't doubt yourself. You can't be like, you can't do. Because then everyone's like, well, how do you know what that is? I don't know.

[Blake Anderson]

It's just. Is that parliament?

[Adam DeVine]

But then one teacher, or he might have been the vice principal, pulled his.

[Anders Holm]

Out, was like that.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, can we cut the commercial?

[Adam DeVine]

Pulled his out and just started cranking down.

[Kyle Newacheck]

This was on the video.

[Anders Holm]

It was like a Pavlovian response. He just started to. Uncontrollably.

[Adam DeVine]

He was like. He couldn't help himself. He just heard the noise and just started cranking down. You gotta watch the video. Your boobs are mute.

[Anders Holm]

Oh. Because as we've established, most teachers are generally just 99 of the time trying to students.

[Blake Anderson]

What?

[Adam DeVine]

69.

[Kyle Newacheck]

What? That's our education system.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

What?

[Anders Holm]

That's. We've established that, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, we've established. I mean, this might have been when Kyle was on his sabbatical, but.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right. Yeah. Hiatus.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. He was high.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I was high as fuck.

[Adam DeVine]

We've established that kids are too fucking sexy, dudes. And it's not. These teachers faults. They can't help themselves.

[Anders Holm]

And Adam, can I give you a shout out? Because you said it just kind. You said it a little bit now and you said it before and I didn't catch it. These Kids are getting Damn sexy is from a sketch we did way back in the day.

[Adam DeVine]

It is, it is.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

What was that? What sketch?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Isn't it the one sketch we did about a teacher?

[Adam DeVine]

A Current Affair.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, yes, it was.

[Kyle Newacheck]

We did one.

[Blake Anderson]

I played a student who my teacher had sex with me.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes, because you were too sexy.

[Blake Anderson]

But I was super stoked on it. And she Was in prison.

[Anders Holm]

Well, you know your teacher raped you.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Because, like, statutory. Statutory early.

[Adam DeVine]

We did a lot of fun rape comedy back in the day.

[Blake Anderson]

Well, yeah, this is.

[Anders Holm]

This is an interesting thing because it's like this dude just scored with his teacher, but in the eyes of the law, Lady Liberty. And he. He was like, yes, she raped me, like, I guess 20 times under the bleachers. And here she raped me there.

[Adam DeVine]

He was all stoked on it. And then I played a. A cool gym teacher with a thick stash and really worked that stash for all. All that I could.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. Was that one mustache that we kept reapplying to your face. And I. I bet we had only one mustache in our makeup box, right?

[Kyle Newacheck]

We had a few.

[Adam DeVine]

Maybe two. I think that was post CR. And mustaches. So we. I think we had, like, six or seven.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Dude, we used to have a tackle box, like a fishing tackle box that had the mustaches in it.

[Anders Holm]

Makeup.

[Blake Anderson]

Any sort of props.

[Anders Holm]

I like how Blake says, is that the mustache we kept applying on you? Like, you would just. We'd hold you down and put it on your face. Not again.

[Blake Anderson]

I'll never do this character again.

[Anders Holm]

It's going to be funny. Trust us. Put it on.

[Blake Anderson]

Put it on. Adam, you're funnier with the mustache.

[Anders Holm]

Why?

[Kyle Newacheck]

The way that it moves when you move your upper lip. It's hilarious.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, you were doing.

[Blake Anderson]

You had a lot of fun with that.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Which it was. It is. You can do a lot.

[Anders Holm]

We could post that bed.

[Blake Anderson]

God, I really wish Adam would put in a few years with a mustache, but he just refused. What are you waiting for, bro?

[Anders Holm]

We know, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

I puberty.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

I can't grow a mustache.

[Anders Holm]

You have, like, a pencil mustache.

[Adam DeVine]

You got a thick caterpillar on your upper lip. I got nothing. But mine's wispy as fuck. I look like a 1920s Frenchman, man.

[Anders Holm]

I'm a man.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

You look like the guy from the Art. The Artist.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

What's the one with the dog? The dog won the office.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, With a little pencil. Thin. With, like, a little.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, the Artist.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, yeah. A little. What's. What's that one director's name? What's that guy's name? He has a really skinny.

[Kyle Newacheck]

John Waters.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. John Waters style.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

John.

[Anders Holm]

Can we give flowers to John Waters?

[Blake Anderson]

Well, now he's gonna die.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, you're right. I take it back. Way to go, him. Serial mom isn't in my top 10 greatest movies of all time. Wink, wink.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Do you remember my 31st birthday? Do you Guys, remember this?

[Blake Anderson]

Can you remind us, Is there a.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Clue what the 31 blunt salute.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, my God.

[Adam DeVine]

Hold on.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Do you remember that?

[Blake Anderson]

Hold on.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I love it.

[Anders Holm]

Blake's like, no.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You guys remember when we were doing Workaholics? Do you remember?

[Anders Holm]

No idea what you were talking about.

[Adam DeVine]

That was great.

[Blake Anderson]

I do remember. We were on set for Workaholics.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

We had. Did we have set deck or was it us? The night before we. We rolled.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I caught. I got a hold of a ton of weed and it was like, Goons and Isaac stand in and they rolled.

[Anders Holm]

Say, allegedly. Allegedly. Employees of ours rolled blunts.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, 31 of them.

[Blake Anderson]

Well, I mean, it's California. We're.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, yeah. And we blew it. And you walked through.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That was the best part, was the staging.

[Blake Anderson]

It was like, build it out, because it was a fucking great birthday. My goodness.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It was 31 bl. Blunt salute. And basically it was 15 people standing on one side facing another. 15 people on the other side.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. That's all he thinks about now.

[Blake Anderson]

Like a birthday tunnel. Like a birthday tunnel, right?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. And I was the one. So it was 15, 15 1, everybody. We had to, like, light them up. Puff, puff. And we played Cypress Hill. We played fucking hits from the Bomb, dude.

[Blake Anderson]

I was looking through those because Kyle's brother, Baby Nooch, Adam Nechek, he just dumped a bunch of old photos on us, and there's those photos, and I'm like, wait, was this us rapping workaholics? Because I don't remember Kyle going through a tunnel. It's definitely from the 31 blunt salute.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Adam and I were looking at this this morning. Me and Baby Nooch were checking it out, and I was like, the fucking 31 blunt. Everybody took hits and blew it in the tunnel, and I had to walk down the tunnel and inhale everything.

[Blake Anderson]

That was fucking cool.

[Anders Holm]

You walked hella proudly. Like, your chin was high.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yes.

[Blake Anderson]

Dude, if Instagram. If Instagram was cracking, that would have gone frickin viral, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, it was a HAC hashtag.

[Blake Anderson]

It definitely was a hashtag.

[Anders Holm]

Is that how you live, Blake?

[Blake Anderson]

It's just weird because now, yes, I see everything through the social media lens. That's.

[Adam DeVine]

That's all he thinks about now.

[Blake Anderson]

When we were in Workaholics, it was kind of. Instagram was still kind of new. It wasn't like what everyone got everything from.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. We were still, like, using filters and stuff.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Still like a way to make your. Your photos look cool and retro.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah. Are you talking about, like, Hipstamatic before.

[Blake Anderson]

Dude, everybody was hyper just distorting their photos, and everybody thought it was really cool to make everything, like, kind of sepia, like, burnt out. Yeah, yeah, it was fucking cool, dude.

[Anders Holm]

I remember that.

[Kyle Newacheck]

God, that was so sick. I remember the buildup being so big and then walking down the tunnel with everybody blowing smoke and it was like, this is actually fucking living up to the hype right now. I don't know if I'm stoned and in my own head, but this is like. You peak one of the sickest things I've ever done.

[Anders Holm]

Did you peak at that time?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, that was sick.

[Anders Holm]

Okay.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I think that was a peak.

[Adam DeVine]

That.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That was. That was definitely peak.

[Blake Anderson]

That was similar to what we would do for, like, super bowl parties. Remember we would. The night before the super bowl because we always threw. We took pride in our super bowl parties.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, we did.

[Blake Anderson]

We always had like a.2 kegs. And then, like the night before, we would roll tons of joints and we just had like a bowl in the middle of that leather ottoman from my dad that traveled from house to house with us. It was an indestructible leather ottoman and we just had a bowl with. With joints, you know, like, just take it if you want.

[Anders Holm]

This was, dude, like Adam's blow. He was like, it's going to be like, blow, dude. Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Those super bowl parties were so insane. We got so fucked up. I hardly even remember half of the games, bro.

[Kyle Newacheck]

We used to, like, wire TVs all over the house. Like, put one out in the backyard. Put one in this room and set it all up like we were a fucking bar. Yeah, this is the way super dope.

[Adam DeVine]

I worked at a service deli and that's. I mean, that was my job, too. I just, like, cleaned up after people and it was just me climbing into a rotisserie chicken machine. That giant machine that just like twirls around 60 rotisserie chickens at a time. And just me climbing inside of it at night and scrubbing it. And I'm like, I'm getting paid $7 and 15 cents for this.

[Anders Holm]

I'm living in a nightmare. Adam's in there like a human terrier. Just like, they just send you in to get it out of there.

[Blake Anderson]

It's like a little bomb dog.

[Adam DeVine]

Totally, dude. And then. But how much weed did you smoke in the freezer? That was the best part of the gig because we would go in the freezer and smoke weed and then come out and there'd be a long ass line for sandwiches because obviously it's lunchtime. Not a great time for us to go smoke weed in the freezer. And you come out and I. I'm making a sandwich for someone and I'm too stoned. And I remember they were. They were like, you know, they're telling me, like, no, that's not the kind of cheese. It comes with the Monterey jacket. I'm like, I'm sorry. And I just sliced my finger open. The tip of my finger. And it was the tip of my finger. And it's just, like, squirting. It's like a cartoon squirt of blood that's coming out. And I bleed all over this person's sandwich. And I'm too stoned, and I don't want them to, like, know that I'm bleeding. And obviously there's blood everywhere.

[Kyle Newacheck]

This is gnarly.

[Anders Holm]

Not tell me you served it today.

[Adam DeVine]

No, I just start to, like, wrap it up. Like, I'm going to give it to her. And the person's like, what?

[Anders Holm]

What the.

[Adam DeVine]

You can't give me that sandwich. And it goes, yeah. And then I try to act like I wasn't bleeding. I go, why? And he goes, there's blood everywhere.

[Blake Anderson]

There's ketchup.

[Adam DeVine]

And I go, there.

[Blake Anderson]

This ain't crap. Bullseye, brother.

[Adam DeVine]

Sorry about that, sir.

[Anders Holm]

Bon appetit.

[Blake Anderson]

That's so wild that you would smoke weed in the freezer, because we did that, too. We had a code word. We say, hey, man, you want to go to Russia? And that meant go into the giant freezers. And you had to put these giant, like, fur coats on to go in there because they were massive walking freezers.

[Anders Holm]

You looked like the guys with Spies. Like us.

[Blake Anderson]

Exact. Exactly.

[Adam DeVine]

So I just go, I'd like having a code word that brings up more questions. Like, if you're doing it in front of your boss, you're like, want to go to Russia? And the boss is like, what?

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, they're smoking weed?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. It's not like, take out the trash or, like, do the dishes or stock the freezer.

[Anders Holm]

Is this, like, post 9 11? They're like, we think he's a sleeper cell. Okay. Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

They're like, wait a minute. We've got some terrorists working for us. Holy shit.

[Anders Holm]

What a week it's been.

[Adam DeVine]

It's been one week since you looked at me.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I love that truck.

[Anders Holm]

Bear naked. Is that bare naked?

[Adam DeVine]

That's Bare Naked Ladies.

[Blake Anderson]

How much of that song can you do?

[Adam DeVine]

Chickadee China, Chickadee China. The Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick and your brain starts ticking. Watch your next. And Then. And then. And then it kind of fades out.

[Kyle Newacheck]

One of the lyrics. Watching X Files.

[Adam DeVine]

I didn't love that song. I didn't. I did not love that one.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, wait, that's. Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

That seems like an Adam song.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, one million.

[Adam DeVine]

Definitely.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right?

[Adam DeVine]

Dude, it definitely seems like it should have been up my alley.

[Blake Anderson]

You might want to revisit that.

[Anders Holm]

Like, that's a homecoming dance solo. Adam Devine song. Come on situation. Yeah, it's better.

[Adam DeVine]

What it was. Here's what it was. That basically, it was already. It was co opted by. By another kid, and it was his song, and he was always the nemesis. He was always doing it. And. And it was. Admittedly, it was pretty annoying when he did it, so it turned me off on the song. I dodged that bullet Move, Adam.

[Anders Holm]

I'm trying to watch him dance.

[Adam DeVine]

I would have been the annoying guy doing it. I know I would have. So I'm glad I dodged that bullet.

[Anders Holm]

They just wheeled you down the stairs. They're like, you can't dance. Just pushed your wheelchair down the stairs to go watch this other.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, they know I could dance. They know I could dance because they. They've seen me at different dances and weddings, and they know that the talent scouts are out there.

[Anders Holm]

This is getting dark. I'm sorry.

[Kyle Newacheck]

We said it.

[Blake Anderson]

Hey, I got a history of taking off my shirt.

[Anders Holm]

It's been yummy. Oh, man.

[Blake Anderson]

Dude, that is the most Canadian ass song. And Canada love loves bare ladies. They, like, perform at Olympics.

[Kyle Newacheck]

We put that song in shadows of season three when the vampires were, like, trying to be human, like, and there's just so funny. Some fantastic scenes with it. That song.

[Blake Anderson]

I got a history taken off my shirt.

[Adam DeVine]

It's a funny song. It's a funny song. It's not my favorite song.

[Anders Holm]

There's three quotes we know. It's got. It's got a weird spot in your life.

[Blake Anderson]

I feel like it was them and Bloodhound Gang were going at it for, like, funniest.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Bloodhound Gang was super funny. Way better.

[Anders Holm]

Well, Bloodhound Gang is. Do it like animals or mammals, right?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Discovery Channel.

[Adam DeVine]

Do it like we do on the Discovery Channel now.

[Blake Anderson]

I feel like they were both, like. It was like, a time before irony, right? Is that what it was? Like, people were actually liking those songs?

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, Blake, irony is as old as time. Okay.

[Adam DeVine]

Before irony.

[Anders Holm]

What, you thought.

[Blake Anderson]

No, it was.

[Adam DeVine]

Dude, you thought pre1998, irony didn't exist?

[Blake Anderson]

Okay. Yes.

[Anders Holm]

Okay. Adam bit the apple as a joke.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm aware that irony existed but it.

[Anders Holm]

Wasn'T eating the apple as a bit.

[Blake Anderson]

Nobody was rocking, actually. I don't know because like, Kyle, you wore like a cocoa. Cocoa Puff shirt from Hot Topic. Was that ironically, was that the birth of irony, like with Kyle and his Cocoa Puffs?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, I think like more like the Spam shirt was probably more like the Spam Sherp was the birth of that. Spam Chirp was the birth of that.

[Blake Anderson]

Maybe we're the generation that really like, embraced like the ironic nature of consumerism.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, of course.

[Blake Anderson]

How do we go to a dog show? I want to go so bad.

[Anders Holm]

I used to go to dog shows as a kid.

[Adam DeVine]

Like, you act like it's the craziest thing in the world. You could just go to a dog show.

[Kyle Newacheck]

What do you mean?

[Adam DeVine]

It's on ESPN like five times a year.

[Anders Holm]

They're at convention centers usually.

[Blake Anderson]

I want to go so bad, I want to go.

[Adam DeVine]

Evidently you don't want to go that bad or else you would have already gone. Because they're very easy to go to.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, it's pretty easy.

[Blake Anderson]

I did not know that. I didn't even know it was a thing until. Until Corona happened. I saw it on TV and I'm like, this looks so fun. These dogs.

[Adam DeVine]

You didn't know.

[Kyle Newacheck]

What about Best in Show?

[Adam DeVine]

What did you think Best in Show was about? You thought that was a made up world?

[Anders Holm]

He watched that with his eyes closed.

[Blake Anderson]

You lose.

[Anders Holm]

You lose.

[Adam DeVine]

We just got Blake in a lie. A little fibaroo.

[Anders Holm]

God, that movie's so, so good. Flowers.

[Blake Anderson]

I thought it was super niche. I didn't realize, like, these were. This was an ESPN event and there's like actually an audience for it. I didn't know that that was something you could do. I thought you had to be a part of the show or invited.

[Adam DeVine]

I didn't even know that was something that was real.

[Blake Anderson]

Can you just stroll up as like an audience member and smoke weed?

[Kyle Newacheck]

But you're just talking about watching though, right?

[Blake Anderson]

I'm talking watching, but.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh yeah, you'd buy a ticket if.

[Anders Holm]

You gave me five years. I'll be the best watcher.

[Adam DeVine]

Dude, bird watching. Can you go pro with that? Can you be a pro bird watcher?

[Anders Holm]

No, because I gotta be all in. I gotta be passionate about it. Like.

[Blake Anderson]

And you love dogs.

[Anders Holm]

I loved dogs as a kid. My wife's allergic. And now I hate dogs because I know that if I pet a dog and I go home and then my wife's like, were you at a dog?

[Blake Anderson]

You have to hate dogs.

[Anders Holm]

This dog.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Perfect. This Is like your man cave.

[Adam DeVine]

Ders has nothing in his life that brings him joy.

[Blake Anderson]

Ders, this is. You have the coolest backstory to become a pro road dog show dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Because it's basically like you're sneaking away to train this dog at night.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yep. You keep it. You keep your dog in your man cave because, yeah, you're like, allergic, but that's how you get away.

[Blake Anderson]

You have to get in a hazard suit to trim it and stuff. It's like a. You're the dark horse.

[Kyle Newacheck]

He does the Gattaca shower after training.

[Anders Holm]

Just 12 monkeys getting scrubbed down up. Bruce Willis, 12 monkeys getting scrubbed down.

[Blake Anderson]

Where the fuck have you been? Where the fuck have you been?

[Adam DeVine]

What are these scratches about, honey? What the fuck are these scratches about?

[Anders Holm]

Bristles from. I was cleaning the other day.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's a juniper bush.

[Blake Anderson]

I was hanging out with Blake. I had to comb Blake, juniper bush outside.

[Adam DeVine]

He got the claws out, ran through some rose gardens.

[Blake Anderson]

My bad. Hey, TII nation. You know what I hate about shopping for underwear? How you never know how it's going to fit until you take it home and try it on. But luckily, now that skims makes men's underwear, we can trust that it will be comfortable. I am always on the go and I want underwear that works with me and not against me. I am personally constantly working out, either running or lifting weights, and I need underwear that moves with me. And skims stretch boxer briefs, they do just that. They allow me to move freely, and I don't feel like I'm wearing gym clothes all day. There's no restricting workout underwear here. We're living our best life in our skims. We're big skims underwear guys now, and you should be too. Shop skims menskims.com let them know we sent you. And after you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift this season, the skims holiday shop is [e-mail].

[Anders Holm]

Hey, everyone. So let me ask, how's your holiday shopping going? I know it can be hard to find the perfect gift for someone. I mean, when you know someone really well, it's a lot easier. But when you don't, it's a lot harder.

[Adam DeVine]

Right, Adam?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Anders Holm]

But I've got a tip to help you out there.

[Adam DeVine]

What's that?

[Anders Holm]

Get to know them better.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, yeah, that's it. And the best way to do that is on Facebook. You can learn more about them. You can discover their interests and hobbies through Facebook groups. Right, Ders?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Adam DeVine]

Maybe they love dogs. Maybe they love crochet. Everybody's different, right, Ders?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Adam DeVine]

But you'll never know how unless you get to know them.

[Anders Holm]

And not only can you use Facebook to get to know someone better, you can use Facebook Marketplace to find the perfect gift once you do. Right, Adam?

[Adam DeVine]

Correct.

[Anders Holm]

And by the perfect gift, I mean a thoughtful gift. One that shows you know the person even when you maybe didn't know them that well before.

[Adam DeVine]

That's how you connect with people. That's how Facebook helps you connect with people. And a little connection goes a long way. Let's reconnect this holiday season with Facebook.

[Anders Holm]

Question for all the gamers out there. Are you seriously going to miss out on Alienware's biggest gaming sale of the year? These are Black Friday prices, so it's not just another sale. This is some pretty big bang for.

[Blake Anderson]

Your buck, you know, It's Alienware with some of the most advanced engineering out there with systems at the top of reviewers lists. And what about a gift for yourself? Gift yourself a new Alienware 16 Aurora gaming laptop. This thing's got performance at the absolute next level with Intel Core processors. And even better, you can get it during Black Friday starting at $899.99.

[Adam DeVine]

Plus you can save on all kinds of displays and accessories like Alienware 32 4K QD OLED gaming monitor for Ultra Ultimate Visual Fidelity. These really are incredible deals on PCs with otherworldly performance. So visit alienware.com deal soon and grab what you can before the biggest sale of the year goes dark.

[Blake Anderson]

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[Adam DeVine]

Do you guys remember when my mom remember Girls Gone Wild?

[Anders Holm]

Oh, yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, yeah, dude, that's the VHS days.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, I don't. I'm not getting the.

[Anders Holm]

That's not it. But you could play it for people.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, we need to find that. But the Girls Gone Wild theme song was a free noise, a free sound.

[Anders Holm]

And steel drums kind of.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, love steel.

[Adam DeVine]

My mom just liked this song and it was her ringtone for years.

[Anders Holm]

Well, hang on, hang on. Because I think you're weird.

[Blake Anderson]

Wild stuff.

[Anders Holm]

The way you're describing. This is confusing. You're. You're saying your mom liked the Girls Gone Wild song? She didn't know it was that song. She picked that.

[Adam DeVine]

No, my mom's horny as fuck.

[Anders Holm]

No, we know you come from a long line of sluts. We established a couple weeks ago.

[Blake Anderson]

This mom was on a mailing list where she had Jerry Springer. Too hot for tv.

[Anders Holm]

She was backyard wrestling. Bum fights. She was a huge bum fights person.

[Adam DeVine]

No, no, my mom just heard it on her. On, like her phone. Of free ringtones.

[Anders Holm]

Exactly.

[Adam DeVine]

And my mom's cheap. Didn't want to buy a ringtone. I get it. And she just liked that steel drum noise. It reminded her of the Caribbean.

[Blake Anderson]

Well, there's a reason it's a hit.

[Adam DeVine]

And then she. But she would play, you know, it was her ringtones who would go off all the time. And it was the Girls Gone Wild theme song. And I loved it.

[Anders Holm]

And what's crazy now is that it's come full circle because you and Joe Francis vacation a lot together, right? Constantly.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Cut to commercials. Cut to commercials.

[Anders Holm]

You guys play pickleball together. Right, Right.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Commercials. I.

[Anders Holm]

Have you gone wild with him?

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. I finally picked up Pickleball and didn't do it with my homie Kyle.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Pickle Gone Wild, bro.

[Adam DeVine]

Me and him get wild. We've gone wild with us bian. Jeremy Piven and other local creeps. Hey, whoa.

[Blake Anderson]

We hold ourselves accountable as we always have. Okay?

[Anders Holm]

Spell accountable.

[Kyle Newacheck]

All right, all right.

[Anders Holm]

A.

[Blake Anderson]

All right, all right. It's science.

[Anders Holm]

Anable.

[Blake Anderson]

Ac.

[Adam DeVine]

Anable.

[Anders Holm]

Can we talk about. Can we talk about your glasses?

[Blake Anderson]

Acc. Animal.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, ye.

[Anders Holm]

Let it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Let's talk about his glasses. What the fuck is going on?

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, are you wearing like Kelvin Gemstone fashion glasses or what are you doing?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, man, I'm here. I'm trying to rep your show, bro. Everybody watch Righteous Gemstones on hbo.

[Anders Holm]

Don't do that.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's not what you're doing.

[Anders Holm]

Why are you wearing.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, why are you wearing them? For real, though?

[Blake Anderson]

It was for an audition. They were just right here. I picked them up. But I'm on having a goof. Okay. I'm having a little fun.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You look good, boy. Well, I'm going to take the angle. I'm going to take the road in the highway. If you look good, boy.

[Anders Holm]

Love that road.

[Blake Anderson]

I agree. I would love to wear Gl. I wish my eyes were fucked up.

[Anders Holm]

Wow.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Be careful what you wish for, Mr. Goosebumps.

[Blake Anderson]

I wish my eyes were stabbed out by hot knives. Hot spikes.

[Anders Holm]

Pokers.

[Blake Anderson]

Pokers.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Very, very hot spikes.

[Blake Anderson]

Hot knives.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Shut up, bitch.

[Blake Anderson]

If that gave me an excuse to wear glasses, I would take that.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Because of how good you look? Because of the highway I chose.

[Blake Anderson]

I love the way I look in glasses.

[Anders Holm]

Are those your little richest fish emporium glasses?

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, they are. These glasses were my. Well, they were basically. We've talked about Teddy several times on the pod, but he wore a similar glass and he gave me his old glasses.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, he needed them for vision sake.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I love how you said that.

[Blake Anderson]

But when he upgraded his glasses, he gave me his old ones because I love them so much. But these aren't even them. These are just kind of like. Like replicas of them that I got from Costco.

[Anders Holm]

Do they have Len? The lenses are knocked out, right?

[Blake Anderson]

Well, I popped them out for the audition. I did because the ring light was showing.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right.

[Anders Holm]

Very professional.

[Adam DeVine]

And what was this cool audition did you do?

[Blake Anderson]

I don't know if I'm allowed to say.

[Anders Holm]

It's under.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, you can't talk about.

[Anders Holm]

Adam wants to know cuz he didn't get sent in. He's like, whoa, what's going on?

[Blake Anderson]

It was big too. It was big.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Guys, he's going to light someone up.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm not going to get it. He man, though I would love to do it.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm pissed now.

[Anders Holm]

That's a Good feeling where you're like, hey, took all yesterday to study that, did it today.

[Blake Anderson]

Not going to get 12 pages. 12 pages?

[Anders Holm]

Really?

[Kyle Newacheck]

You have to have that. That's. Damn. 12 page audition, playboy.

[Anders Holm]

Damn.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, damn.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Damn, son, that's heavy.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

No, I'm pissed now.

[Blake Anderson]

No. Ever since the. The freaking pandemic happened, auditions have been getting longer. Has anybody noticed that? I'd be getting three scenes, four scenes. I'm like, you get one to two scenes, brother.

[Anders Holm]

Hey, when you print them out and they're real heavy like that, Y. Hello. You can do three.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You can do three. You can do 3 scenes.

[Blake Anderson]

Come on now.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Beginning, beginning, middle, and end.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, you want to see my range of emotion? I get it in character. Can I go here? Can I go there?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Give me the arm.

[Blake Anderson]

You don't need four scenes.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'm saying three scenes. I'm saying three scenes is fine at most.

[Blake Anderson]

No, I want to.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Sure. Fine at most. Fine. Two at most. Dolby sound at most.

[Blake Anderson]

I mean, come on. Yeah, come on, people.

[Anders Holm]

Or just, like, watch everything Blake's done before or that. Guys, Hollywood, listen up. He's not auditioning anymore, all right? He's passed it. Okay?

[Blake Anderson]

Offer only.

[Anders Holm]

You want him to cut the hair? He'll cut the hair. Fuck it.

[Blake Anderson]

It's gonna cost a little bit of money.

[Anders Holm]

Okay, all right.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Is that what it is? Have we talked about that? You've got a price tag on your locks.

[Blake Anderson]

We've talked about it, but I don't think. I mean, I've never given it an official answer.

[Anders Holm]

Let's do that now. So everyone out there in Hollywood knows what's the price tag for the hair to go?

[Blake Anderson]

Okay. So, like, it's frustrating because I watch movies like Licorice Pizza, right? Where I'm like. I feel like my hair shouldn't be a deterrent for casting me because it's like an ERA piece, right? So, like, how come, like, first thought of these, like, directors aren't like, oh, we're making something in the 70s or 60s. Like, let's. Let's go straight to Blake. He's got the hair already.

[Anders Holm]

Well, well, Blake, what their mindset is, I want a good actor and then we can grow his hair out. Yeah, they work their way back. That way they don't go for some shitty ass regular guy, somebody who can.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Memorize a couple pages.

[Blake Anderson]

You don't think they go hair first?

[Anders Holm]

All right, give me everybody with hair past their chin out here.

[Blake Anderson]

Well, okay, so. But you know, going along with that, I think I would. It's not so much. Would I cut my hair for money? I think I would cut my hair for, like. Like, if someone who I respected, like, as far as, like, directorally or.

[Anders Holm]

And who is that? Who would they.

[Kyle Newacheck]

So if PTA asked you, you'd be like, yes. Is that what you're saying, Licorice pizza boy?

[Blake Anderson]

I would highly consider it. I would highly consider it. I think Paul Thomas Anderson, I. Everything he does, I would be honored to be a part of it all. Looks great.

[Anders Holm]

Who are you holding above Paul Thomas Anderson?

[Blake Anderson]

The Cohen brothers.

[Anders Holm]

Okay, so, Coen brothers.

[Blake Anderson]

Have you seen Macbeth? I should have been Macbeth. I don't know why Denzel got it.

[Anders Holm]

You got that.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You got that Mac Br.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, that's why you. That's all I kept thinking is like, bro, I did it with Andy Dick. Yeah. Oh, that's what McBreath is from.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yes, that's right.

[Anders Holm]

Here's my scene work with.

[Blake Anderson]

With Andy Dick.

[Anders Holm]

So good.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That is such a great episode.

[Anders Holm]

Would you rather be in a movie with Denzel Washington or Andy Dick? Go.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's tough.

[Blake Anderson]

There's one person that I know I could be. I don't know. Andy's a little problematic, but I love him.

[Adam DeVine]

He's a God.

[Blake Anderson]

He's a God.

[Anders Holm]

Whoa, wait, I'm. You're more sure of being in a movie with Denzel Washington than Andy Dick? Andy Dick. You got a wrangle him in. Denzel's gonna be there on the day.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. If I were to get cast in. In a movie with Denzel, that would be insane. I imagine he.

[Anders Holm]

I heard you cut your hair. Okay, okay, okay.

[Blake Anderson]

That's dedication.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You got a picture from before. Can I see what it looked like?

[Blake Anderson]

That was some really nice hair that.

[Anders Holm]

You had some long hair for eight years.

[Adam DeVine]

Wow.

[Blake Anderson]

This is you.

[Anders Holm]

This is you. Okay, okay.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Eight years. What, you think you've. You think you've only had that hair for eight years? Hasn't it been over a decade?

[Blake Anderson]

I mean. Yeah, it's getting up there now.

[Anders Holm]

He says this hair. This one hair he's had for eight years. I've had this hair.

[Blake Anderson]

This hair I've had this eight years. This hair I've had. It's so crazy.

[Adam DeVine]

I worked at a. It was a grocery store. I worked at a Pavilion Pavilions.

[Blake Anderson]

Was that when you were a scab, by the way? Because you.

[Adam DeVine]

No, I was a scab. No, I wasn't.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I thought you were a scab of pavilions. Yeah, you were.

[Adam DeVine]

I wasn't a scab. No, no, no. I would start a dirt. Sorry, dude. I'm a union member and I was out there with.

[Blake Anderson]

I got my take back.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Are you sure, Adam?

[Adam DeVine]

Yes. And Zach, my two roommates were scabs. They were like, how much can we get paid? And I'm like, it's like 15. They're paying these scams.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

It was an apartment divided, so my roommates, we rode in the same car to work and I would go stand outside at a picket line and then they would cross the picket line and go inside for like double what we got paid to do the.

[Anders Holm]

The same work.

[Blake Anderson]

You're like, I'll see you in Russia, right?

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, but you get it, you know, that's so.

[Adam DeVine]

But by the way, dude, striking for like, when you're in like 18, 19 years old and you're already getting paid minimum wage, so it's like, it doesn't. It doesn't matter that much. And you still got paid for a few weeks because you paid into the union was awesome. Because all you did was smoke weed in a parking lot. We would drink 40s in my buddy's conversion van.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Nice.

[Adam DeVine]

And then just. And then just hacky sack, play frisbee in the parking lot and hold the sign. I'm like, this is a good gig.

[Anders Holm]

But all the, like, way better than year old moms and dads that work there.

[Adam DeVine]

Like, yeah, it was sad for them.

[Anders Holm]

It's touch and go here, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, context is everything.

[Anders Holm]

You're like, catch. Do you want to get in on this cipher?

[Blake Anderson]

I mean that.

[Adam DeVine]

Hey, we're freestyle rapping over here.

[Anders Holm]

Do you hack. Do you want to go to Russia?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, dude. That was.

[Adam DeVine]

Wow.

[Blake Anderson]

When was that? That was like, Cal. It was pretty serious. During, like in California in. When was that? Like the 2000s was right when I moved to LA.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, five.

[Adam DeVine]

It was the early 2000. It was like 2003 or four.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, four.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, it was before I moved out to LA. I was still down in. I was still down in Orange County. So it was 2003. Three. And there was a huge strike of all the grocery store employees. And I just remember, like, I. For me, it was just like, okay, we're going on strike. The union tells us to go on strike. I'm just holding a sign. I'm 19 years old. I don't give a. Like, I'm like, okay, yeah, sure. They should get paid more. I don't know. This is all above my head and some guy just teed off on me.

[Anders Holm]

You're like, people will be looking at me.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, totally. I'm like, there will Be a crowd. And you're showing up. Teed off on me and was like. He was like, you. Like, you don't deserve. Oh, you think you deserve 15 an hour to beg groceries, you piece of. And I'm like, I don't. I don't think that. I don't know. I'm just holding a sign.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'll beat your goddamn ass, you son of a. Oof.

[Adam DeVine]

I was like, fine. Making that. That whatever $8 I was making. You know, I'm just. It's just. They told me to go on straight strike, but people were so riled up. People get so riled, dude.

[Blake Anderson]

That's crazy, dude.

[Anders Holm]

I remember kind of not. I was like, what, 23 or something? And just going shopping for groceries on my own for kind of the first time as a young man. And they're like, picketing. And I'm walking past it like, I don't know. I just need ice cream and some Eggo waffles. Excuse me.

[Blake Anderson]

I just need Arizona ice tea.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, let me get a block of cheddar and some cheese.

[Anders Holm]

I need a giant lasagna.

[Blake Anderson]

And I need some stuff.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I need some stuffers, a couple of.

[Anders Holm]

Hot Pockets, duct tape.

[Blake Anderson]

This bro got his ass beat for frozen pizza.

[Adam DeVine]

But that. That grocery store was dope. There's all. Because it was a Newport coast, so there's all kinds of celebrities that would come in.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, really?

[Adam DeVine]

For example, I remember Elizabeth Hurley was shopping there and.

[Blake Anderson]

Shagadelic.

[Adam DeVine]

Very shagadelic, dude. Very shagadelic.

[Blake Anderson]

I would never, ever have sex with you.

[Anders Holm]

You were. You like, what's your favorite city in Texas?

[Adam DeVine]

Austin. Walked through the freezer section and then came right over to my section, nipped out. I was. I was on the moon, dude. Holy moly.

[Blake Anderson]

She was like a fembot.

[Adam DeVine]

I was. I was like, take me to Russia. And no one understood what I was talking about.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right?

[Blake Anderson]

Right.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah. Even you used it wrong in this instance.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right.

[Anders Holm]

I had one friend who. His mom dropped us off at a mall, and it was. We went up to. We went hit Sbarro for the first time when I was like, oh, damn, nine years old.

[Adam DeVine]

That seems so young.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, my God.

[Anders Holm]

And there was, like, a glass elevator.

[Kyle Newacheck]

For the first time.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, my God.

[Blake Anderson]

What the hell? This glass elevator.

[Anders Holm]

I'm Generation X. So it's just different.

[Blake Anderson]

You're like a real elevator. It's not a pulley system.

[Anders Holm]

But listen, where's the operator? It was. There were glass elevators in 1989 or whatever, or 1990. A glass elevator was like, A whole new thing.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You're not wrong. That was cool. Like, when you could see yourself going up and down. That's.

[Blake Anderson]

What are you guys 80 years old?

[Anders Holm]

Like, I'm. Shut the up elevator, Blake.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Shut the up.

[Adam DeVine]

You're as old as all of us. Okay? You're the. This. We're the same age.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And the fact that you can't understand and, like, put your mind in a place where you can get off on a. A glass elevator, bro.

[Adam DeVine]

Blake has been swallowing his. His teenage Kool Aid for too. For too long. Where he's like, I was just. I was. I was actually. I'm only 14 years old right now.

[Anders Holm]

Right?

[Blake Anderson]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is what I'm saying. Never in my life.

[Anders Holm]

The A's upside down.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

I grew up loving little Yachty and little.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Those are my boys.

[Blake Anderson]

Hey, shout out little. No, dude, I never had it in my mind.

[Adam DeVine]

Black is actually a huge influence on me.

[Blake Anderson]

Coming up, like, second grade glass elevator. That was just an elevator.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Wait, no. Off. What the are you talking about?

[Anders Holm]

I remember seeing it and be. Having my mind blown. You.

[Adam DeVine]

Dude.

[Blake Anderson]

What?

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, no. I'm. I'm. I'm with the three of us.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. This is actually making me upset.

[Adam DeVine]

I remember being at a double tree. I remember being at a double tree in Waterloo, Iowa, as a young boy. And there was. It was like a big Willy Wonka elevator that would go right up the middle. And I remember just being like, this is insane.

[Anders Holm]

Future Lincolnwood Town Center.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm like, why don't they make all elevators like this?

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's not even about. It's. It's like it doesn't even matter when it came out. You know what I mean? Like, right now, I could get on a glass elevator and watch myself go up and fucking see it. And I'm like, this is dope. I'm being risen by a mechanized Kyle.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm with you. I'm with you.

[Anders Holm]

Kyle was raised by a glass elevator.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm with you. But something. But something was a little different in the early. In the early 90s when the glass elevators really came on the scene.

[Anders Holm]

Blake.

[Adam DeVine]

I don't know how. I don't know how you're not getting involved with this. Dude. We're talking the 90s, man. Glass elevators.

[Anders Holm]

Did anybody beat off in a glass elevator?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Dude, spy at people. You could spy on people in the glass elevators. When you would see a couple making out and you'd be on the floor and you're like, they're making out in the Elevator.

[Anders Holm]

You just have to beat off, bro.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You're beating off.

[Adam DeVine]

Thank you, God.

[Anders Holm]

That's the first glass elevator I was in. The first one I ever saw was in Commando starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, when he's in the chase scene in the mall.

[Blake Anderson]

Why do you guys have such a fucking memory for glass elevators?

[Anders Holm]

It was the future, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. This is big, right?

[Anders Holm]

It was like seeing an iPhone.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It seemed unsafe, and yet it was safe.

[Blake Anderson]

I. I just did. It wasn't something that amazed me or. Or tickled my fancy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Weird.

[Blake Anderson]

I liked Hot Topic, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

I just. I miss mall culture. It's been so long since I've been in a mall where it just, like. Everything sort of just smells like the Popcornopolis or the Pretzel. The Wetzel Pretzels.

[Blake Anderson]

Pretzel still is a hammer, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's heartburn.

[Adam DeVine]

Did you guys. Up there was Orange Julius. That was like the staple of our mall. It was right on the corner. It was right next to Mrs. Seals.

[Blake Anderson]

We didn't have.

[Adam DeVine]

And that Orange Julius was just banging. That was the movie. You get an Orange Julius, you get a Mrs. Fields cookie, and you took a couple hot laps.

[Anders Holm]

Dude, you guys have never been on a mud walk?

[Adam DeVine]

Never been on a mud walk.

[Anders Holm]

You go to, like, a legit, like, muddy, swampy area and you just.

[Adam DeVine]

Like a legit one.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes, like a legit. Like, real mud.

[Adam DeVine]

We're talking real mud here.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Like, literally up to your.

[Anders Holm]

Up to your waist.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay. What, your waist?

[Anders Holm]

No.

[Blake Anderson]

What are you wearing?

[Anders Holm]

Yes. And you're, like, trudging and crawling through. Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

So you would walk through a literal swamp.

[Anders Holm]

As a child, this was a thing at my summer camp where you. You'd go on a mud walk right through. This is in Michigan, so it's like. It's not a swamp as much as it is just fucking dank, muddy, like woods. Right.

[Adam DeVine]

But there's, like all kinds of snakes and shit in there, right?

[Anders Holm]

I mean, maybe, but not really.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay.

[Anders Holm]

It's not.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Are you wearing waders?

[Anders Holm]

No, no, no. You're. That's the whole point is you just naked. Jack your shoes up, get your pants.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Jack off.

[Anders Holm]

No, you're not naked, Kyle. You two say naked, you jack off. Weird.

[Blake Anderson]

Wild shoes.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. Wait, so your shoes are getting stuck in the mud?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, it's getting heavier and people lose shoes.

[Anders Holm]

You gotta lace up super tight.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

And then you get fully muddy. And then you walk back.

[Adam DeVine]

Back.

[Anders Holm]

Because the little mud area was kind of off campus where the cabins are. And then you walk back as a cabin. You're all muddy. Everybody sees you, and they're like, oh, looking crazy. You, like, go and hug counselors and all that.

[Blake Anderson]

Literal.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, yeah. And so, like, what is it? Like, the more muddy you are, the more you think, like, girls are gonna like you and exactly, like, he's crazy. Like, oh, my God. So you're, like, rubbing mud in your hair. You're like, hey, what's up, Becca? Or whatever.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

There's always the one guy who's like. Who eats it in front of the girls to be like, I'm crazy. And they're like, yeah. No. And then you go to the beach, part of, like, the lake right there, and you all get in in your clothes, and, like, the mud comes off.

[Adam DeVine]

Commercial.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Was this, like, a.

[Anders Holm]

Was this, like, a lot of.

[Kyle Newacheck]

A lot of bummers?

[Adam DeVine]

Your boobs are huge.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

This is great.

[Blake Anderson]

That's hot, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I like to do it.

[Anders Holm]

And that's a mud walk.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And that's when you get new.

[Adam DeVine]

A billion is a lot of money.

[Blake Anderson]

It's a ton of money, by the way.

[Anders Holm]

Thank you. Because sometimes I'm like, what is a billion? And it's a ton of money.

[Blake Anderson]

How many billionaires are on earth?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, there's a lot more now, right? Like, the bell curve has gotten so that you can achieve Bill. You can achieve a.

[Adam DeVine]

You can get to Bill. Used to be way unobtainable, but now it's not easy.

[Anders Holm]

But it's.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's crazy.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. It's so.

[Anders Holm]

Ever since homeboy made that song and then crash the jet ski wampum gangam.

[Adam DeVine]

Stop.

[Anders Holm]

I want.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, Sean King.

[Anders Holm]

I want to be a billionaire so bad. Was that his song?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, yeah. I know that song.

[Anders Holm]

Is that him?

[Adam DeVine]

Hold up.

[Anders Holm]

Or am I thinking. I don't know if that's him. Now I'm confusing Suicidal. Suicidal. Oh, that's a billionaire. Oh.

[Blake Anderson]

Wait, wait. How are we. We're burying the headline. I got jumped and casted.

[Kyle Newacheck]

What?

[Blake Anderson]

Daniel Radcliffe is playing Weird Al Yankovic in a biofilm.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, I know.

[Blake Anderson]

It's the whole reason I am what I am. Yeah, and the swooped me.

[Kyle Newacheck]

This needs to be an Internet campaign. It's. It's a yell campaign. This is not a whisper campaign. This is a yell campaign.

[Anders Holm]

Hey, Blake, why don't you eat it?

[Blake Anderson]

Hey, I'll tell you right now, this wasn't an audition for Weird Al's movie.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And it should have been.

[Blake Anderson]

I didn't even get a read.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, all. All. All professionalism aside, do we think Daniel Radcliffe is the guy?

[Blake Anderson]

Weird Out. I don't know. What did he do?

[Anders Holm]

He might have not done anything.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I was thinking about. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I don't get it. I don't. I mean, I get it. I understand that a lot of people who watch that sketch now have the keys to green lights, especially in a fucking content like.

[Anders Holm]

Watch what sketch?

[Kyle Newacheck]

The Weird Al biopic.

[Blake Anderson]

But he wasn't weird.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Although it was Aaron Paul. I know, but it's based on that. There was a sketch, the Aaron Paul sketch. That was a long time ago.

[Anders Holm]

Ago.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's a funny or die sketch called Weird, starring Aaron Paul, where it was a dramatic take directed by Eric Capel from Workaholics. Sure did. A couple episodes. One or two.

[Anders Holm]

You guys, that's my impression of him. Funny guy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And now, whatever. Ten years later, over a decade. There is Roku original content. Green lighting. That concept for a movie. And Radcliffe is coming in.

[Anders Holm]

Roku.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yes, yes. What the fuck is going on?

[Blake Anderson]

Do you think that they're approaching this movie as like a super hyper serious thing or do you think it's going to be a comedy? Like, I don't know what the tone of this movie is about.

[Anders Holm]

It's going to be like Forrest Gump tone, where there's going to be like touch and go moments where it's like, you're so fucking weird. And he's like, I'm going to be weird forever. And then he's going to be like, UHF is going to be like the Thing. And everyone's like, it didn't make any money, you know? And then Michael Richards is going to be saying like the N word constantly to like tee that up.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That is. That is the sketch. That's what it is.

[Anders Holm]

This is the way.

[Blake Anderson]

I know that's the sketch.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Well, then they're just gonna do it. But not tongue in cheek, probably.

[Blake Anderson]

I don't know.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Which is like, kind of like doing the Fresh Prince, like, reboot in the drama where they're just like flipping fucking things. It's like, what are these green lights?

[Anders Holm]

Is there a Fresh Prince reboot?

[Kyle Newacheck]

I don't know. Yes, there's a dramatic. There's an hour long reinterpretation of the Fresh Prince dramatic.

[Anders Holm]

Is it just called the Prince or something?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Maybe it's called Bel Air. I don't, I don't know.

[Blake Anderson]

That's genius, dude. See, that's how you sell it in the room.

[Anders Holm]

The judge's nephew.

[Kyle Newacheck]

But, but, but, but, but who's green lighting these things? It's the People who, like, laughed and, like, are like, oh, that'd be so funny, if that's what I'm saying. Like, who's got the finger on the button? The whole world gone crazy.

[Anders Holm]

Hey, everyone. So let me ask, how's your holiday shopping going? I know it can be hard to find the perfect gift for someone. I mean, I mean, when you know someone really well, it's a lot easier, but when you don't, it's a lot harder.

[Adam DeVine]

Right, Adam?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Anders Holm]

But I've got a tip to help you out there.

[Adam DeVine]

What's that?

[Anders Holm]

Get to know them better.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, yeah, that's it. And the best way to do that is on Facebook. You can learn more about them. You can discover their interests and hobbies through Facebook groups. Right, Ders? Yep. Maybe they love dogs. Maybe they love crochet. Everybody's different, Right, Ders?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yep.

[Adam DeVine]

But you'll never know how unless you get to know them.

[Anders Holm]

And not only can you use Facebook to get to know someone better, you can use Facebook Marketplace to find the perfect gift once you do. Right, Adam?

[Adam DeVine]

Correct.

[Anders Holm]

And by the perfect gift, I mean a thoughtful gift, One that shows you know the person even when you maybe didn't know them that well before.

[Adam DeVine]

That's how you connect with people. That's how Facebook helps you connect with people. And a little connection goes a long way. Let's reconnect this holiday season with Facebook.

[Anders Holm]

Question for all the gamers out there. Are you seriously going to miss out on Alienware's biggest gaming sale of the year? These are Black Friday prices, so it's not just another sale. This is some pretty big bang for your buck.

[Blake Anderson]

You know, it's Alienware with some of the most advanced engineering out there with systems at the top of reviewers lists. And what about a gift for yourself? Gift yourself a new Alienware 16 Aurora gaming laptop. This thing's got performance at the absolute next level with intel core processors. And even better, you can get it during Black Friday starting at $899.99.

[Adam DeVine]

Plus you can save on all kinds of displays and accessories like Alienware 32.4K, QD, OLED Gaming Monitor, ultimate visual fidelity. These really are incredible deals on PCs with otherworldly performance. So visit alienware.com deal soon and grab what you can before the biggest sale of the year goes dark.

[Blake Anderson]

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[Kyle Newacheck]

I used to work down in Newport as well, dude. I had, I had, I worked at, at Vans and fucking. We had a celebrity sighting once. Dennis Rodman rolled up in his.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh well, he's a Newport legend.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Wow.

[Anders Holm]

The Elizabeth Hurley of men.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

So evidently the coolest people live there.

[Anders Holm]

Dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I remember I just finished like painting the curb outside and he rolled up with his Hummer and just put his tire right on it.

[Anders Holm]

That can't be legal.

[Kyle Newacheck]

He was tired. Right? On a dog.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. What were you, what color were you painting the curb?

[Adam DeVine]

It was vans. Checkers.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It was just repainting it, cuz. It was Vans, bro. It was van. So you skate outside and the curb will get kind of. And I guess they wanted. I guess corporate probably wanted it painted because they could.

[Adam DeVine]

Corporate, yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Vance was going big at that point.

[Blake Anderson]

So they're like, we can't have evidence.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Of skateboarding in our parking lot.

[Blake Anderson]

Vance is a wild ass company. They've gone like. I mean now they've gone nuclear.

[Anders Holm]

But take five minutes, go for it.

[Blake Anderson]

I mean, you want to talk about.

[Anders Holm]

Vandora, go after them.

[Kyle Newacheck]

They have the biggest fucking collaborations like out there. It's like Vans and fucking Disney and stuff.

[Anders Holm]

It's like. Yeah, I feel like what are they? I feel like Nike might have bigger collaborations, but I said like the biggest.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I didn't say much.

[Blake Anderson]

People.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, I hear you. I definitely hear you. But they're big.

[Adam DeVine]

Allegedly.

[Anders Holm]

I got my take back. Let me just, let me write down that take back.

[Adam DeVine]

Vans, rocks, no pen inside.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Okay, let's search for some scratch paper.

[Adam DeVine]

Did you, you smoke weed anywhere at that store? Kyle? Did you smoke weed at work? Oh come on.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, always, dude. Yeah, in the back. Cuz there was actually like a little annex. You had to. You had to stock shoes up top. So you'd go up the back and perfect and stock the shoes in the back stock. And that's where you were. Russia. Yeah. It wasn't as cold as Russia, but we used to like call it like, you know, the, the forest Shoe.

[Anders Holm]

Shoe.

[Blake Anderson]

Beer.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. We say you want to go to like the forest and be like.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, I didn't say that. It's just like I used to manage that store. So it was like you were the manager.

[Blake Anderson]

That's Right. How did that happen?

[Kyle Newacheck]

I was the third key. There was two keys above me, but I was the third.

[Anders Holm]

But like, you opened up in the morning or something?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yes, sir. I opened up. I counted the dough, I counted the inventory, and I said, we're open.

[Anders Holm]

You counted inventory every morning?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Morning, yeah. Yeah. Well, not every morning, but you do count it?

[Anders Holm]

Yeah. Because I opened up a Lacoste and they were like, just be awake. Couldn't do it.

[Adam DeVine]

This is the way my move would be. I would see a bunch of hot chicks, and then I was the. I was. Yeah. The one that. Okay, talk to them. I wouldn't say that I was into them because I was too chicken to do that app. And I'd go up and be like, hey, what's up, cute girls? My friends over there like you. And then my friends would end up talking to them, and then my friends would end up making out with them in, like, a changing room at a JC Penny.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay? So, yes, the mall would be the place where. Because usually when you were in high school or junior high or whatever, the girls you talked to were the girls you went to school with. But the mall was where all the schools came to one place. So you would see girls. I was like, boys and girls that you didn't see every day at school.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yes, sure.

[Anders Holm]

You'd be like, man, these guys are handsome. From that other school.

[Blake Anderson]

We can't compete, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I remember this vividly.

[Anders Holm]

Look at those flat brim.

[Adam DeVine]

I met this girl that went to a different middle school, right? We were in eighth grade and we. Okay, we were talking and then we became AOL buddies and we would. I instant message each other, right?

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, damn.

[Adam DeVine]

And then she told me that she wanted to see my penis.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, damn.

[Adam DeVine]

Get hard.

[Anders Holm]

Goodbye.

[Adam DeVine]

She wanted to see it get hard.

[Anders Holm]

And you're like, it's already hard.

[Adam DeVine]

She's like, I, I, I, I really want to see.

[Blake Anderson]

She didn't want to see it hard. She wanted to see it get hard.

[Adam DeVine]

She wanted to see it get hard. She wanted to watch it go from soft to hard.

[Anders Holm]

Did you tell her? No, you don't.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You don't want to see that.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, no, no. She's probably like a scientist now, huh?

[Adam DeVine]

It was kind of exciting. It was a kind of exciting science. And then we saw each other.

[Kyle Newacheck]

She's a scientist probably now.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, it was cool. I'm sure she's a doctor or scientist or something.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, it's very interesting to watch it change.

[Adam DeVine]

I think she's probably on the forefront, Fouchy.

[Blake Anderson]

Probably.

[Adam DeVine]

She.

[Blake Anderson]

Danielle Fauci.

[Adam DeVine]

Then we saw her at a. Like a. A soccer tournament. And I remember thinking. And she came up and was talking to me. And then I remember thinking the whole time, like, she's gonna want to see my. Like, it's science.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It is.

[Adam DeVine]

At this soccer tournament. Like, she really. She was like someone. It's me, like, trying to, like, wiggle it in my jeans to try to, like, make sure it's not going from completely not hard.

[Blake Anderson]

Why were you wearing jeans at a soccer tournament? You played soccer.

[Adam DeVine]

I wasn't. I wasn't playing. I wasn't playing. It was. My friends were playing.

[Anders Holm]

Scooping ladies.

[Blake Anderson]

Wow.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

And then. And then obviously nothing happened, but things could go down at the mall. I had friends make out with girls at JCPenney changing rooms. Things could happen.

[Blake Anderson]

You know what?

[Anders Holm]

That's cool.

[Blake Anderson]

That's cool, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, that was way cool.

[Anders Holm]

I definitely feel like I missed out.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. You didn't do mole culture?

[Anders Holm]

No, we just didn't have one. I mean, there was one another town over, but you would go there to go see movies, and that was kind of it. Or, like, to go shopping with your mom, because that was like the department store.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Movies in malls was very weird for me. We didn't have that growing up. Those were separate. So once I started seeing movies in malls, I did not understand that.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, that was.

[Anders Holm]

You had to toe the line there.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I did not get that.

[Adam DeVine]

You didn't understand.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Not for me. No, no, they were separate. Wait, what? Yeah, those are separate things. Do I have to shop?

[Adam DeVine]

That should be a Dillard's.

[Anders Holm]

It just.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, it just.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Just seems like it's. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Seems like you don't want to spend, like six hours at the mall watching.

[Anders Holm]

A movie and Lord and Taylor and movies.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, no JCPenney and movie. No, this is not happening. That's not good.

[Adam DeVine]

That is funny. Like, as a kid, as a little boy, like, how many things that you would do that you're like, chicks are loving this. Oh, my God, they're loving it.

[Anders Holm]

For example.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, dude, mud walk.

[Adam DeVine]

Like, like, we used to ride bikes. And then just like, like, just like ride down some stairs in front of girls and like, they give a about me. Like, riding my bike downstairs.

[Anders Holm]

Cuz you're jackhammering.

[Adam DeVine]

Know what I mean? But just in your, like, little, little boy brain, you're like, oh, they're going to love this. Reagan. Britney, check this out. Meanwhile, it's just me going down six stairs.

[Blake Anderson]

You like that?

[Adam DeVine]

You like that? That was Pretty crazy, right? Not really.

[Anders Holm]

Just skidding out in front of him.

[Adam DeVine]

Totally.

[Anders Holm]

What's up? You almost hit me. Ow.

[Adam DeVine]

A rock hit me. Ow. What the.

[Blake Anderson]

Sat on my balls.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I kind of remember just doing, like, big jumps down hills to impress girls. Like, at the top of the hill, you just, like, run.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Like in your shoes or on a bike.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, like, just jumping. Like running and, like, jumping. And you get princess bright extra air because it's like you're going downhill. And then you'd roll a little bit and get pretty back up and be like, damn.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. And in your head you're like, that was insane. It looked like an explosion was going off behind me.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. And you're like, they had to love that. And you're looking over at them, and then you go get the hairspray and put it all over your hand and light it on fire and be like, look at me. Look at me.

[Anders Holm]

So you're the guy who ate the mud for sure.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, I didn't eat the mud, but I lit myself on fire. I'm not eating mud. Did you guys ever think, like, oh, tonight I'm going to get probably super wasted, and then tomorrow I'm going to wake up and I'm gonna be in a fucking porno.

[Blake Anderson]

Why weren't there Dudes Gone Wild? Why weren't they just bros whipping their dicks out in Heller, coptering it?

[Anders Holm]

I guarantee you they were like, that's a real thing.

[Adam DeVine]

100% chance that in West Hollywood. The thing is, is we were there. We weren't cute enough to get asked.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right.

[Blake Anderson]

It wasn't about being cute. It's just, will you whip your dick out?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. It was like, are you gonna do it?

[Adam DeVine]

No. It's about being cute.

[Anders Holm]

No. Yeah. There's a standard for the people watching these videos.

[Adam DeVine]

D were walking around West Hollywood just at the time. Know what I mean? That Guy's Gone Wild was definitely being filmed in West Hollywood. And we were in those streets. Never were approached.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Wait, that's a thing?

[Anders Holm]

Of course it's a thing. It's just. They just aren't going to pay for ad space on commercial television because people are like, we don't want that. But if you go to the store or you go online, I guarantee you there was Dudes Gone Wild.

[Adam DeVine]

Blake, there is 100% possibility that guys Gone Wild was a thing.

[Anders Holm]

Thing.

[Blake Anderson]

I am saying that it probably does, but I'm not saying we wouldn't have made the cut. I'm not saying we're having, like, a whole section dedicated to us. But we're in a montage, whipping our dicks out.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Anders Holm]

Okay.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm saying we were.

[Blake Anderson]

There's a quick cut.

[Adam DeVine]

We were in the place that it was happening. We were in West Hollywood. We were there every day.

[Blake Anderson]

We lived there, but we never had our dicks out.

[Adam DeVine]

We were never approached.

[Anders Holm]

We weren't. And if we were, you already know.

[Blake Anderson]

I feel like on Halloween, we would have done it.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, you feel that? But it never happened. Happened. And they were there.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's true. It's true.

[Anders Holm]

They were looking.

[Kyle Newacheck]

The.

[Adam DeVine]

The gay Joe Francis were out there scoping the scene, and they looked at you right in the eyes and go, nah.

[Blake Anderson]

We'Re gonna pass.

[Adam DeVine]

Nah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Adam, do you think that back then, if you were, like, looking for it, you could have found it and just made it happen?

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, yeah. Looking for it.

[Adam DeVine]

If I was looking to pull my dude. Well, I always was.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, dude, I know you were.

[Adam DeVine]

So.

[Kyle Newacheck]

So maybe not. So maybe not.

[Anders Holm]

You could trip and fall on a dick.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. No. It's not hard to get. It's not hard to trip and fall into the world of gay porno. That's not hard.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Pornography.

[Anders Holm]

How long do you think it would take you?

[Blake Anderson]

All you have to do is go to a gym in LA tomorrow morning.

[Anders Holm]

You should do this tomorrow morning.

[Adam DeVine]

I bet Blake would have a harder time getting into gay porno than he thinks he would.

[Blake Anderson]

There's already a dude named Blake Anderson in gay porn. I know because it pops up on my Twitter.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, exactly. That's a hard A hurdle.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's a hurdle.

[Adam DeVine]

Every once in a while, people will send me photos of me getting butt.

[Kyle Newacheck]

All right?

[Adam DeVine]

That are photoshopped of, like, gay pornos that they Photoshop, like, my face on.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah. Rude.

[Adam DeVine]

And every once in a while, I. I get those in the old dms, which is pretty cool, baby.

[Anders Holm]

Hey. And everybody listening at home. We are entering minute 17 of this conversation. Yummy. This is important.

[Adam DeVine]

Coming in hot.

[Blake Anderson]

That's my bad.

[Adam DeVine]

I should have saved this for 69. Let's loop back around, call this one 69 again. That shit's important.

[Kyle Newacheck]

69, take two. How about those rams?

[Blake Anderson]

How about the Rams? I know a couple Rams.

[Anders Holm]

I want to talk about rams.

[Blake Anderson]

I'll talk about rams all day, baby.

[Anders Holm]

Fallback.

[Blake Anderson]

Let's get weird.

[Anders Holm]

Do you remember your first Weird Al sighting in la? Because I do feel like it is a. Like, people are like, oh, yes. Because I saw him at Paquito Mas, and I was like, that's fucking Weird Al stars.

[Blake Anderson]

They're just like, us weird, wild stuff.

[Anders Holm]

And. And I just want to tee you guys up because I wasn't there for this. And this is the backstory. And maybe we've told this on the podcast, but you guys saw Weird Al at the Orange County Festival or whatever.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes. Yes.

[Anders Holm]

And before he was coming out on.

[Blake Anderson]

The Poodle Hat tour, before he came.

[Anders Holm]

Out on stage, you guys started the.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Chant of, let's get weird.

[Blake Anderson]

Let's get weird. Yes.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's right.

[Blake Anderson]

Teddy. With Teddy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

With Teddy.

[Anders Holm]

We've covered this.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, we have covered this.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. It was during the Poodle Hat tour at Orange County Fair.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yep.

[Blake Anderson]

And that was the moment that the let's Get Weird movement was kind of born.

[Anders Holm]

Right. And then brought. You guys brought it to the show, and then the NHL took it. And then.

[Blake Anderson]

And then the NHL and then. And then Vice.

[Anders Holm]

I do remember going back home to, like, party, like, for Thanksgiving or. Or Christmas or whatever. I'm a big Christmas guy. Yeah, you are. And seeing friends and they're like, yeah, man, let's go out and get. Let's get weird. And I'd go, right? And they'd go. And someone would be like, that's. You know, that's from, like, his show. And they go, what are you talking about? People say that? And then I'd be like, I don't.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'm not gonna. You get caught. Yeah. You get caught in the middle of, like, defend it.

[Adam DeVine]

Perfect.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's like, whatever.

[Anders Holm]

Well, no. Yeah. Someone's like, no, that's from what? That's their show. And they're like, dude, no. Everyone says that. And I go, well, Teddy. Teddy. Well, laugh.

[Blake Anderson]

Well, I.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Please be quiet.

[Adam DeVine]

Here's a question, Von Dutch.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, you want to talk?

[Adam DeVine]

Von Dutch, we ever jerk off at wor. I know, I know. We smoked weed at. At work.

[Blake Anderson]

At work.

[Anders Holm]

Did anybody work at a church and.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Jerk off at worge. What's going on with Adam today?

[Adam DeVine]

All right.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Did I glitch it?

[Anders Holm]

Human chunking, you said.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. Did you guys jerk off at work or. This was a strict. No jerk off. Strictly smoke weed.

[Blake Anderson]

Strictly dickly, bro.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, I mean, I was.

[Anders Holm]

Well, is always like, you did. Okay, great. But what's the story?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, well.

[Anders Holm]

Or was it strictly professional?

[Adam DeVine]

Well, no, I don't think I. I ever did. I wanted to catch. I wanted. I don't think I did. I don't think I did. I think all my jerk off stories were at TJ Maxx. Yeah. Under my starter jacket.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm trying to think if I did.

[Anders Holm]

At Work at the Workaholics.

[Blake Anderson]

The Workaholics office doesn't count. You had to have.

[Adam DeVine]

No, I definitely jerked off at the Workaholics office.

[Kyle Newacheck]

The Workaholics house was technically our work for a little bit.

[Anders Holm]

Allegedly.

[Blake Anderson]

I jerked off at all Workaholic sets.

[Adam DeVine]

Allegedly. I definitely jerked off under my desk at the Workaholics.

[Anders Holm]

Well, technically, you guys lived at the house, so.

[Adam DeVine]

Definitely. Definitely Allegedly.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's what I'm saying. Exactly. Exactly.

[Anders Holm]

Adam couldn't come unless he had a man knocking at his door in the morning.

[Blake Anderson]

The butler.

[Adam DeVine]

You guys are telling me late nights. We're working late. You're in your office, no one's around. You didn't crank one down at the desk at the Workaholics. The Workaholics office?

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, probably.

[Adam DeVine]

No, I did.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes.

[Anders Holm]

I just imagine, like a ghost taking the reins. You know what I mean?

[Kyle Newacheck]

It would not have been. I don't think it would have been late night for me.

[Anders Holm]

It wouldn't have been for fun.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It was early morning, if anything for me because I used to open up.

[Blake Anderson]

That office all the time, like vans. So it was, man. They die hard.

[Anders Holm]

I'm going to go to Russia.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That was when I had my time.

[Blake Anderson]

Used to jerk off into half cabs, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

And then it was just. It was just. Night owl.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, it's the shoe. It's shoe goo, bro.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Night owls. He's leaving. You're just in the hallway cranking down.

[Anders Holm]

Down. Whoops. You ever jack.

[Adam DeVine]

You just walk around with your out.

[Blake Anderson]

It's a bagel.

[Anders Holm]

Will you explain Night Owl?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Night Owl. Oh, Night owl was our night assistant. Our editorial assistant.

[Blake Anderson]

Legend. It goes. Dennis Rodman, Night Owl. Those. That's my legend ladder.

[Anders Holm]

Let's also explain what a nighttime assistant for editing.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. So a nighttime assistant basically takes the cards, the memory cards from what you shot on the day and downloads them and imports them into the editing software or the Avid. And they have the horrible job of doing that overnight so that the editors the next day can start to cut.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes.

[Anders Holm]

And it's not like labor intensive. Right. You just have to kind of be there to get it done.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's stressful, but it's not labor intensive because if you lose the footage, there's.

[Anders Holm]

A lot of downtime.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. If you lose the footage, you're.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You're. You are. You're dead.

[Adam DeVine]

So basically every.

[Anders Holm]

Say it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

I'm thinking the same night assistant is.

[Adam DeVine]

Just cranking down constantly. Right.

[Anders Holm]

All night.

[Adam DeVine]

You're constantly cranking.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, yeah, dude. That was One of my first jobs, I was a night assistant. And I did have keys to that place. Well. As well. And yes. Yes, sir, there's some downtime. And that keys were getting strokes. Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Was that when you were editing your porno? Because that. That would lend itself to.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, I was an assistant. I was an assistant editor. At a trailer house. At a trailer house in Santa Monica. Who will remain unnamed, but yes.

[Anders Holm]

Kyle, how did we get back to this? How do we get back to this every week?

[Kyle Newacheck]

This is just like. These are real questions. These are real questions that guys have for each other.

[Adam DeVine]

Hey, sorry.

[Anders Holm]

We can't get away from it.

[Blake Anderson]

Sorry about it.

[Anders Holm]

Haunted by it.

[Adam DeVine]

You want to peek behind the curtain?

[Blake Anderson]

Behind the curtain, brother.

[Adam DeVine]

You want to peek behind the curtain?

[Anders Holm]

Hey, you guys want to know about Hollywood?

[Adam DeVine]

This is what the boys talk about.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Lot of downtime, baby.

[Anders Holm]

Hey, everyone. So let me ask, how's your holiday shopping going? I know it can be hard to find the perfect gift for someone. I mean, I mean, when you know someone really well, it's a lot easier, but when you don't, it's a lot harder.

[Adam DeVine]

Right, Adam?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Anders Holm]

But I've got a tip to help you out there.

[Adam DeVine]

What's that?

[Anders Holm]

Get to know them better.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, yeah, that's it. And the best way to do that is on Facebook. You can learn more about them. You can discover their interests and hobbies through Facebook groups. Right, Ders?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Adam DeVine]

Maybe they love dogs. Maybe they love crochet. Everybody's different, right, Ders?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Adam DeVine]

But you'll never know how unless you get to know them.

[Anders Holm]

And not only can you use Facebook to get to know someone better, you can use Facebook Marketplace to find the perfect gift once you do. Right, Adam?

[Adam DeVine]

Correct.

[Anders Holm]

And by the perfect gift, I mean a thoughtful gift. One that shows you know the person even when you maybe didn't know them that well before.

[Adam DeVine]

That's how you connect with people. That's how Facebook helps you connect with people. And a little connection goes a long way. Let's reconnect this holiday season with Facebook.

[Anders Holm]

Question for all the gamers out there. Are you seriously going to miss out on Alienware's biggest gaming sale of the year? These are Black Friday prices, so it's not just another sale. This is some pretty big bang for your buck.

[Blake Anderson]

You know, it's Alienware with some of the most advanced engineering out there with systems at the top of reviewers list. And what about a gift for yourself? Gift yourself a new Alienware 16 Aurora gaming laptop. This thing's got performance at the absolute next level with Intel Core processors. And even better, you can get it during Black Friday starting at $899.99.

[Adam DeVine]

Plus you can save on all kinds of displays and accessories like Alienware 32.4K, QD, OLED gaming monitor, Ultimate Visual Fidelity. These really are incredible deals on PCs with otherworldly performance. So visit alienware.com deal soon and grab what you can before the biggest sale of the year goes dark.

[Blake Anderson]

All right legends, you know we're all about the important stuff. Like what are you wearing around the house? If your answer is a towel barely hanging on, it's time for an upgrade. We're talking about Dude Robe, the robe that went viral on shark tank. Over 300,000 guys have already made the switch. It looks like a hoodie, feels like a post shower victory, and it's made with their proprietary Weekend Blend fabric so every day feels like the weekend hoodie. On the outside, towel lined on the inside, non floppy sleeves built in belt you can't lose. And yes, yeah, there's a secret pocket too. They even have matching shorts and pants so you can lounge like a legend without risking the old dick slip, right? It's the robe you'll throw on and never want to take off. Better hide it before the wife steals it. With the holidays coming up, it's the perfect gift for all the special dudes in your life. Your brother, your dad, your best bud, or that guy still rocking gym shorts from college. Go to duderobe.com and use code thisis for 15% off. That's this is you deserve better. So ditch your shitty loungewear and upgrade to Duderobe today. Make your home smell as good as it looks with Pura 4, the smart fragrance diffuser that lets you control your scent from anywhere. Choose from hundreds of premium fragrances, schedule your favorites and set the perfect mood for every moment. And right now, get yours free when you subscribe to 2 cents for 12 months. Don't wait. This limited time offer won't last. Try it risk free for 30 days [e-mail] TII Nation if you could stop somebody from breaking in before they got inside, why wouldn't you? Most old school systems go off after someone's already in your place. That's too late. Well, luckily Simplisafe is different. It's proactive with the double layer of defense that stops crimes before they start. First, AI powered cameras spot potential threats outside. Then live agents step in, talking to a person through the camera, letting them know they're on video and police will be dispatched if they don't leave. They can even trigger a loud siren or spotlight. That's how you help stop crime before it starts. And there are no long term contracts or hidden fees. You can cancel anytime. It's incredibly easy to set up and it gives me peace of mind when I leave the show. Simply safe is so reliable and I feel better knowing I am protected, dude. And with their easy to use app you can quickly check in on your profile this month only take 50% off any new system. This is one of the best prices you will ever see for Simplisafe. Don't miss it. Hit simplisafe.com thisis again that's simplisafe.com thisis and lock in your discount. There's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Adam DeVine]

No girls liked me for sure. You know I was like the little crippled kid but Right. But older kids definitely wanted to get me drunk like that I think was like people was like it would be hilarious if we got divine drunk. So I was always that like freshman kid that they to senior parties and everyone was allegedly. The difference between a freshman and a senior is start starts at the picture. It starts with the penis.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes sir.

[Adam DeVine]

It definitely started.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. That is crazy because you can have 13. Your boobs are huge.

[Adam DeVine]

I was such a child and they're like 18 year old kids teaching me how to beer bong.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Can you be 13 when you start high school? Is that a thing or are you 14? Pretty much.

[Anders Holm]

Sure you can be eight.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Doogie Howser if you're a freaking genius.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't that. It was not my affliction. So I think it was 14.

[Anders Holm]

And that's why you never rock.

[Blake Anderson]

It's wild that you mentioned that Durst because I kind of forgot that like we did kind of see the birth of coffee shops in our neighborhood too. I remember we had this place called Mochalisa.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, so this is cool to you but the glass elevators is not?

[Blake Anderson]

No, no. Dude.

[Anders Holm]

It was really weird that there's always been coffee shops.

[Adam DeVine]

No, I love glass elevators.

[Blake Anderson]

It was such a weird thing where like like going to a coffee shop was like this like cool thing to do as like a, a young high school student.

[Anders Holm]

But it made yeah high school people feel like they were grown ups.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It absolutely did. And it was just like a sense.

[Anders Holm]

Of freedom like to go do your homework there.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. You could like bring your skateboard there and then skate in the back of the coffee shop or whatever and smoke some ciggies.

[Blake Anderson]

It was, it was way before it was like monopolized. It was crazy. Crazy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You could actually like. I remember like some of my first public cigarettes like where I was like, I'm smoking this, I don't care. Were in front of a coffee shop.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh for sure.

[Kyle Newacheck]

With older kids. Because I could hand it to them if anybody rolled up.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And they would give me the ciggies.

[Adam DeVine]

And then we definitely didn't hang out at a lot of coffee shops. We would hang out at like restaurants where like it was like zero dollars to eat there.

[Blake Anderson]

Buffalo wild wings.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, there's a lot of Buffalo wild wings. Honestly. But then the first one, it was like a lot of. There was a Chinese restaurant that they just like didn't. What the. We did. So like we. We. You could get a. A plate of fried rice for 80 cents.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

You just eat bucket of fried rice and sit there and then sit there for like four hours and just like, you know, play cards or whatever.

[Blake Anderson]

You're like, I'll take another one. Play cards and eat fried rice.

[Adam DeVine]

Another round.

[Blake Anderson]

Dude, kids are so cool. Just imagine being a grown ass man eating. Eating 80 cent fried rice. Playing cards with your homies. You just have it figured out.

[Anders Holm]

Is that place still open? No.

[Adam DeVine]

It ended up giving like everybody food poisoning. Like someone died I think. Yeah. They shut it down. It was like oh my God. Like I think someone legit died allegedly from eating their food.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right.

[Anders Holm]

Sorry.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Didn't that. That happened to us when we were in. When we moved to the valley. We found that really cheap. Like do you guys remember that fried rice spot? And we all got it and we all got sick. Do you guys remember that fried rice spot?

[Blake Anderson]

Hot.

[Adam DeVine]

Not that Chinese restaurant. It was.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It was like 99 cent fried rice and we got.

[Adam DeVine]

It seems real.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It was when we. It was when we shot. It's. We're eating it in. You guys are eating it in the beginning of the proto. Not the proto tank sketch. The one like dude's house or something. It's where you're eating. It's in bed. The. The fortune cookie.

[Anders Holm]

Oh yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Classic.

[Adam DeVine]

That was.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You guys are scarfing on it at the beginning of that. That's the fried rice I'm thinking of. It was so bad. Right?

[Anders Holm]

I remember that being pretty good.

[Blake Anderson]

Good. Yeah. It was delicious.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It tasted good.

[Blake Anderson]

But it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You up in the long run.

[Blake Anderson]

I think whatever man. I'll take it.

[Adam DeVine]

Do you remember when we found out that MSG was the ingredient? Because we were like on a lot of Chinese restaurant stalls there. There'll be like A sign that says, like, no msg. Because I guess that used to be a thing back in the day that Chinese restaurants were known for putting msg, which is a. Like a kind of like a salt, like a spice that you put into food that it makes you, like, almost addicted. Opens to that food and it. And makes it just taste delicious. And you're like, oh, I gotta keep eating this.

[Anders Holm]

So we got producers also. Please put in facts what it actually is.

[Adam DeVine]

We got.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, yeah, I don't know.

[Adam DeVine]

We got these. Msg, the spice.

[Anders Holm]

Do you remember that?

[Adam DeVine]

And then we were putting it on our food.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I remember this very well. Oh, yeah.

[Anders Holm]

It comes in cubes.

[Adam DeVine]

No, ours. It was like a salt shaker.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. We went to a weird ass, like, 99 cent store because we. We. We were so bored.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I feel like it was like a big lot.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, maybe. And they had like a. A straight up shaker of msg.

[Adam DeVine]

What the.

[Anders Holm]

I don't. I have this crazy memory of it being a big lot.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I think it was like a big lot. And we got a spice set, and MSG was there, and we put it on everything. And then we called it the flavor enhancer.

[Anders Holm]

Was it off the chain?

[Adam DeVine]

And it. And guess what? It works.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, dude.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Used to throw it on popcorn. It was off the charts.

[Blake Anderson]

Monosodium glutamate poured in our energy drinks, dude. And we're fine. Adam. Just had to piss crystals, but.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Will you read that description, Adam? Right there.

[Adam DeVine]

The basic sensory function of MSG is attributed to its ability to enhance savory taste active compounds when added in the proper concentration.

[Anders Holm]

It sounds good.

[Blake Anderson]

Well, why. Why the. What's so bad about it it though. Why is it outlawed? I have no idea.

[Adam DeVine]

Because it's. It. It does. It, like, truly makes you addicted to that thing. It's like an additive that isn't an actual food. So I think people were, like, turned off by it now. We were turned on by it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Maybe there's a medical issue, because there. It could constrict the blood vessels or something. Too much.

[Blake Anderson]

Well, it does have the worst sodium in the word in monosodium, so maybe.

[Anders Holm]

Hey, Blake, nice catch. Go ahead.

[Blake Anderson]

Thank you. So maybe it is items. I don't know. Something.

[Adam DeVine]

Catch.

[Anders Holm]

Wow.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Good job. Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Keep going.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

And. And sodium is bad because why Sodium. You are sodium.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It constricts your blood vessel. I think it constricts. Give them points.

[Adam DeVine]

Give him points.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm trying.

[Anders Holm]

You are so d. Yes, points. Thank you.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes, points. You are so deep.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, my God, I don't know. Yeah, it. You are Sodium.

[Kyle Newacheck]

The chunk. I just caught that. The chunk was real. I just. You got smart.

[Anders Holm]

You got to do the lady's voice. Will you play it? Do you have it anymore on the board? You are so yum.

[Blake Anderson]

It's not a lady, by the way. It's a really cool guy.

[Anders Holm]

Even better, even.

[Blake Anderson]

No, I don't have it anymore. I'm sorry.

[Anders Holm]

I guess I'll have to live as that for the rest of the podcast.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Guess yeah, huh.

[Adam DeVine]

By the way, blading is back in a big way. I'll say that. Blading is back. I live on the beach. Roller blades are back in a real way.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Different than aggressive.

[Anders Holm]

I bought mine during the pandemic for.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's different than aggressive skating. Aggressive skating is the grinds and the clunkers.

[Adam DeVine]

Hey, I'm with you. I had some grind plates.

[Anders Holm]

Here he goes.

[Adam DeVine]

Did I ever grind? No. The first time I did it, I almost re. Snapped all the bones in my legs, so I immediately stopped doing that.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'm pissed now. What happened?

[Anders Holm]

I. Adam almost had a resnap.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. I fell hard when I put on my brother's skates, thinking I could do it. It's not easy. And neither are the soaps. Okay. And neither are the soaps.

[Anders Holm]

You, like, cross your legs to do it, right?

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, yeah, you could do. That's one of them y. That's one of the skills.

[Anders Holm]

That's not the way you do it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, you can do. You can go like this.

[Adam DeVine]

Just. You just go at this same. We have to land at the exact same time or else you slip out.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's sick. Check out some vids. It's sick.

[Blake Anderson]

I'd love to.

[Adam DeVine]

So Austin Anderson, one of my groomsmen. You guys all know him. He got soaps in high school. He never rollerbladed in his life. And I. He was like, dude, I got soaps. Check this out. And I once again think it was.

[Anders Holm]

Give me five years. I'm gonna be pro.

[Adam DeVine]

I once again think it was the type of thing of. Of him going like, oh, chicks are gonna love this. Wait till they get a load of me with these soaps grinding. And he jumped up on this race trail and slipped, and I think he, like, broke his tailbone. Like, he landed. It was like. No, it was, like, just, like, violently injured right away. Like, I feel. So many kids got hurt with those goddamn shoes. Yeah. I wonder how quickly we could get in gay porn.

[Anders Holm]

If you set out tomorrow, do you think you'd be doing it? Within 48 hours. Like doing it. Filming within 48 hours.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, I think now because of the Internet, I would just go and find gay porn producers and hit them up and then, yes, I could.

[Anders Holm]

And so 48 hours and in 48.

[Adam DeVine]

Hours I could be.

[Blake Anderson]

I mean, you can get an audition, you could get a read.

[Anders Holm]

Do you think you could be doing it in 24 hours?

[Adam DeVine]

I bet I could do it this afternoon.

[Anders Holm]

Do you think in seven hours?

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's insane. No, dude, no.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, I'm. I'm like. I don't think if. If I was just a person, but I'm an actor that people. Actors that people know. A gay producer would go, oh, Gaff, come I'll you right now and film it.

[Anders Holm]

He would. He'd clean his slate for the day.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes. It's like if you're like, dude, I'm. I'm. I'm on the edge. I need to go now. I need it in the next two hours. I need it now. Film me, cuz this may pass.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm hard now.

[Anders Holm]

Let's film it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Jack, I'm ready to shoot now. Jack.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm ready to shoot now.

[Anders Holm]

Jack.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I won't shoot you. I won't shoot you in this state.

[Anders Holm]

The state of California.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, exactly, man.

[Anders Holm]

Let's go. By the way, I tried to talk about the rams. Duran is the funniest movie of all time. And like in a. Sorry. Splice. Splice. Splice. Splice is the funniest movie of all time because it's essentially like a doctor was trying to like create a being or like a like a thing.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Frankenstein monster.

[Anders Holm]

And it comes out and it's actually kind of hot. And he's like, I gotta. It's just like then.

[Blake Anderson]

I know we've talked about it before, but then he. It and then it turns into like a super mutant. You got to watch it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You got to watch what's happened. What? I can't remember that third act. I just remember when he was like on top of Dren.

[Anders Holm]

His wife comes. What are you doing? He's like.

[Blake Anderson]

And then it like starts to sprout wings and starts like. It. It's just.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Dude, what are those days like on set? What is Adrien Brody like? Okay, today's the day. Today's the day. I'm ready.

[Blake Anderson]

That's an actor.

[Anders Holm]

It's the same movie as lady in the Water almost. Where like somebody's. But like in. In.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Is it lady in the Water?

[Anders Holm]

Is that or.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Shape of Water?

[Anders Holm]

Shape of Water. Thank you.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Shape of Water.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Guillermo that is a Guillermo del Toro.

[Blake Anderson]

Wait, what was the. What was the one that. With Paul Giamatti, That M. Night Shalomon movie.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's lady in the Water. I never got through that one.

[Blake Anderson]

Which was also kind of about like a fish, right?

[Kyle Newacheck]

There was a fish.

[Anders Holm]

It was like a pool. And you, like, went underneath the drain and movie was.

[Blake Anderson]

And then he went into another universe or something.

[Anders Holm]

That movie was something else terrible.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Did they overtly a creature or was that like a metaphor behind the.

[Blake Anderson]

The cook. I never saw that.

[Anders Holm]

He just stuck his dick down the drain and was like, whoa.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Just testing that.

[Anders Holm]

Not bad. Thank you. That's one of the movies where like.

[Blake Anderson]

Like, you. You watch the whole movie and then in the last five minutes, it pulls out to reveal that it was just.

[Anders Holm]

Paul Giamatti with his dick stuck in the jets going, right. I blacked out.

[Blake Anderson]

That was the M. Night Shalomon twist.

[Anders Holm]

Dream. And you were there. And you were there. You were a fish. Did you me? Dude, you passed out with your dude dick stuck in the vacuum of the pool field. Oh, I was in another dimension.

[Blake Anderson]

You're like, dude, you were.

[Anders Holm]

You kept coming. It was the pain. You. You, you. Not you. Blast you.

[Blake Anderson]

You passed out from the pain, but your body was still coming.

[Adam DeVine]

We almost.

[Anders Holm]

We almost left you. It was so gross.

[Blake Anderson]

And that is the shape of water.

[Anders Holm]

No, that's ladies.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, lady in the water. Lady in the.

[Blake Anderson]

The water.

[Anders Holm]

Lady in the water says dick in the drain.

[Blake Anderson]

That actually was kind of what the episode we did where we go into Bill's his dream member it all turned out we were like, jerking him off.

[Anders Holm]

That's right.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, yeah. What the was that?

[Anders Holm]

The twist. They were making him come the end of Bill's episode where he was having a dream where he was like. In the dream, he was fucking Amanda Cerny.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Amanda Cerny, Right.

[Anders Holm]

Great. Awesome. But in reality, we were jacking him off and he was with like a.

[Blake Anderson]

Back scratcher or something.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Or like, it was kind of like viber.

[Blake Anderson]

Like, put it on his lap and he cummed his pants.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, my God. What was the vibrator. I can't remember what we used.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You must have been selling them.

[Blake Anderson]

It was like a massager or something.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's crazy. That was the twist. You're coming. You fell asleep and you're coming. This was all a dream.

[Anders Holm]

Dream. Oh, my God.

[Blake Anderson]

That is so funny.

[Anders Holm]

Hell of a dream.

[Adam DeVine]

Zip it.

[Blake Anderson]

That is so.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Dude, Remember when we threw the buckets of. Come on, you guys. But then I think we cut it out of the episode. But there were. There were buckets.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Buckets that we didn't pass. What's that called?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Standards and practices.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right, right.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Because 30 comes alone.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. We got bullet timed with buckets of. Of fake semen. And it was. It was graphic.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, my God.

[Anders Holm]

It was blast. It was like horse blast, Right?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, it was. They were big. Was like a big, pressurized, like, guy deleted scenes.

[Anders Holm]

Isn't it? Am I crazy?

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I feel like I saw it. I think I saw it recently on that account. That's life.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, maybe. Well, if you have the DVD and you've got the. You've got the footage uploaded to Instagram.

[Anders Holm]

And you've got the time, go ahead and check it out. If you got some time, go ahead and check it out.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And the tech know how that's something I'm losing. That exact thing came on when I was working at the. When I was teaching at a school that will remain unnamed. But I used to have to plug in. We all know I used to have to plug into the.

[Adam DeVine]

Right.

[Kyle Newacheck]

The projector.

[Blake Anderson]

I mean, let's be honest.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Open it up. And.

[Blake Anderson]

Greatest fear of teachers, right? Oh, yeah. Like, you put your laptop on, you got the projector going. You just pray to God above that you didn't leave a porno tab.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Right? Oh, God. So embarrassing.

[Blake Anderson]

But it happens, brother.

[Kyle Newacheck]

So embarrassing. And it's like, well, all right, what's next?

[Anders Holm]

All right, who did that?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Who did their homework.

[Adam DeVine]

When you were teaching there? You are also, like, their age, so they would get it.

[Anders Holm]

It.

[Adam DeVine]

I feel like it would be weirder if you were like, yeah, Adam's right.

[Anders Holm]

You got to let it ride. Watch the whole clip.

[Blake Anderson]

Right.

[Anders Holm]

They get it.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Just be like, you did this.

[Anders Holm]

Yes.

[Adam DeVine]

I think it's an easier pill to swallow.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You get you.

[Adam DeVine]

If you swallow. If you were just to go, like, swallow, like, ah, sorry. You know, I'm. I'm also your age, obviously. I'm cranking down.

[Anders Holm]

Adam, you're taking so much time on a thing that you just. You sweep to the side and you just move on. You're like, okay, so obviously we all saw that porno was on my computer. I would like, let. Let's talk about this for a while.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I do 50.

[Anders Holm]

Schumacher have urges. Okay. Raise your hand if you have an urge. No, let's talk about it.

[Blake Anderson]

Dude, this is an editing class.

[Anders Holm]

We don't give a. Do you guys know what pogs are? P A W, G. Fat ass white girl.

[Adam DeVine]

You know what? You know what? This is a good way to learn how to edit porno.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Look, this is huge. The compression rate on this is what allows it to stream so well and crispy.

[Anders Holm]

Let's watch the scene.

[Blake Anderson]

Look at the cuts here.

[Anders Holm]

Okay?

[Kyle Newacheck]

This is a gonzo. This is gonzo porno. And it's a good example of when not to cut.

[Anders Holm]

When you're not familiar with blacks, you're about to be.

[Adam DeVine]

Hold it, hold it.

[Anders Holm]

And actually editing here. Watch the editing.

[Adam DeVine]

Hold it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Insert shot.

[Anders Holm]

Cum shot was hours later.

[Blake Anderson]

Now, this is what we call a compilation.

[Anders Holm]

It's just like a montage. It's many clips cut together.

[Adam DeVine]

Really. It's really choppy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, porno.

[Anders Holm]

Wait, that's what you got to do.

[Blake Anderson]

It's the most bang for your buck.

[Anders Holm]

You lean into it. You just go. This is open on purpose. Today we're talking about montages. This is called a compilation version of montages. And I know what you're thinking. I got caught. Nope, this is on purpose. Nope, just double.

[Kyle Newacheck]

This is on purpose.

[Adam DeVine]

And we are investigating how they cut this film. Okay, that's right.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And there is the dean of the school. Hold on one second. This is a secret class. Let's turn it off. Let's go back to the regular.

[Anders Holm]

He's gonna wanna see this. Okay, we've got a minute of them all dancing in bikinis. And we cut to a minute of them disrobing. Now we got another minute.

[Adam DeVine]

A very, very kinky clip. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have gone with something a little softcore. I went wildly, wildly hardcore. Gaping buttholes. Okay.

[Anders Holm]

And I close that tab, and there's another one.

[Adam DeVine]

There's another one.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Okay, how many tabs? Who. Who did. Who did the second tab?

[Anders Holm]

Can anybody tell me how many lights that they're using to light this set here? Zero. That's right. No lights.

[Kyle Newacheck]

This is more along the lines of the Dogma filmmakers of the 1995.

[Blake Anderson]

Which segues to Lars Von Trier, porno or art?

[Adam DeVine]

Speaking of Dogma, this clip. This is dog fart dot com.

[Anders Holm]

Okay, everybody.

[Blake Anderson]

Dogma69.

[Adam DeVine]

Wait, what was it?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Dogma69.

[Anders Holm]

The place we would hang out were wherever there was a permission wall, which is where, like, the company or the. The business would let you paint graffiti on the back of their business.

[Blake Anderson]

Wait, that's some Chi Town shit.

[Anders Holm]

So shout out to Dave's Italian Kitchen.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay?

[Anders Holm]

We would just go there, smoke weed.

[Adam DeVine]

Big shout out to Dave.

[Anders Holm]

Some people would be, like, putting up a piece of graffiti, and we would just watch. And people would be, like, doing skateboard tricks that they couldn't like, and.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, that's the best kind of just like, hanging out, just flipping tricks nobody.

[Anders Holm]

Sticks and being like. And like trading CDs and Foot Clan, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam DeVine]

Teenagers now just hang out at, like, Starbucks, right? Like, that's where you.

[Anders Holm]

They hang out on the Internet. On Call of Duty.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's all digital. Metaverse.

[Adam DeVine]

Metaverse, probably.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. Shut the up.

[Anders Holm]

I mean, we're not far off.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I think they do hang out, but they. They to see each other in person because they got to get the. The like hand jobs and stuff and, you know, finger bangs.

[Anders Holm]

I don't think they care. I think they'd rather beat off at home the way they can and then just have their friends.

[Adam DeVine]

Do you think, because. Because they all got the Oculus Rifts and it's. It's too good.

[Anders Holm]

It's got to be so. Well, I don't know. Can you do that? Can you Oculus yourself?

[Adam DeVine]

What do you mean?

[Anders Holm]

Well, I'm saying, talking to each other.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, sure.

[Anders Holm]

Can you see yourself, though?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, you can. You can have an avatar, can't you?

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, you can.

[Anders Holm]

Like, when you're hanging, you're beating off to a Sonic the Hedgehog character.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam DeVine]

But it's not the same. I wonder if it'll be like, where you're. You're. You're each other. Like, if you have a girl and you're like, you know what? It's too big of a hassle to. To get in a car and drive over there and.

[Anders Holm]

And it's.

[Adam DeVine]

It's like a. Too much of a thing. If you guys could just both put on your Oculus and it's. It's sort of like that scene in Demolition man where it's just like sensual, sensory, overlook.

[Anders Holm]

You know, chicks. She would love this. Go ahead.

[Adam DeVine]

I wonder.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I think. I think we're on the. We're the verge. I mean, that's possible, right? Yeah, that's possible. That's absolutely possible. The tech is there because they're doing things like, they're doing things where you can wear a sleeve and then your doctor is like, checking on how you're doing physical therapy. Like, say you have a up knee or something like that. You can put a sleeve on. And then. So if you just put. If you just put that on your dick.

[Blake Anderson]

It's science, by the way.

[Anders Holm]

I love how they're like the people who made it, like, yeah, we invented the. For doctors. And they're just waiting for porno to pick it up.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, because porno is the front of.

[Adam DeVine]

Tech porno is just around the riverbed.

[Anders Holm]

So, doctors, this is for you. Or whatever else is out there. I don't know.

[Adam DeVine]

We do have a patent on it, and it's for doctors. Now it's science. Anyone else wants to get involved?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Anybody at all?

[Adam DeVine]

Or maybe brazzers.

[Anders Holm]

I'm not really sure what else it could be used for.

[Adam DeVine]

Doctors, Brazzers, whoever.

[Anders Holm]

You know how doctors really need to grip things and.

[Blake Anderson]

Squeeze?

[Kyle Newacheck]

You know.

[Blake Anderson]

It'S crazy.

[Anders Holm]

Like, you know, the tanga egg was originally, like, a disposal or something. Like, yeah, you. You just throw away the thing into here. You tie it up, and then someone was like. Like, you can stick your dick in.

[Blake Anderson]

It's a portable garbage bag.

[Anders Holm]

It can expand.

[Adam DeVine]

You could jerk off into this egg.

[Anders Holm]

If you ever get seasick while on a boat, you just open this little egg.

[Blake Anderson]

It's a contraption for you breathe into it, and.

[Anders Holm]

Or you can put your dick silicon.

[Adam DeVine]

And then some. Some lonely sailor was like, wait a minute. Thank you, God.

[Blake Anderson]

Weird, wild stuff.

[Anders Holm]

Some lonely sailor or any man.

[Blake Anderson]

Do I make you horny, baby?

[Anders Holm]

I like that.

[Blake Anderson]

That.

[Adam DeVine]

It only took us 30 or so minutes to get into porno. On this episode, we really. That's maybe the longest run that we've had.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah. I'm proud of us. Best episode yet.

[Adam DeVine]

Proud of us.

[Blake Anderson]

Proud.

[Anders Holm]

Hey, everyone. So let me ask, how's your holiday shopping going? I know it can be hard to find the perfect gift for someone. I mean, when you know someone really well, it's a lot easier, but when you don't, it's a lot harder.

[Adam DeVine]

Right, Adam? Yep.

[Anders Holm]

But I've got a tip to help you out there.

[Adam DeVine]

What's that?

[Anders Holm]

Get to know them better.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, yeah, that's it. And the best way to do that is on Facebook. You can learn more about them. You can discover their interests and hobbies through Facebook groups. Right, Ders?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Adam DeVine]

Maybe they love dogs. Maybe they love crochet. Everybody's different, Right, Ders?

[Blake Anderson]

Yep.

[Adam DeVine]

But you'll never know how unless you get to know them.

[Anders Holm]

And not only can you use Facebook to get to know someone better, you can use Facebook Marketplace to find the perfect gift once you do. Right, Adam?

[Adam DeVine]

Correct.

[Anders Holm]

And by the perfect gift, I mean a thoughtful gift, One that shows you know the person even when you maybe didn't know them that well before.

[Adam DeVine]

That's how you connect with people. That's how Facebook helps you connect with people. And a little connection goes a long way. Let's reconnect this holiday season with Facebook.

[Anders Holm]

Question for all the gamers out there. Are you seriously going to miss out on Alienware's biggest gaming sale of the year? These are Black Friday prices, so it's not just another sale. This is some pretty big bang for.

[Blake Anderson]

Your buck, you know, It's Alienware with some of the most advanced engineering out there with systems at the top of reviewers list. And what about a gift for yourself? Gift yourself a new Alienware 16 Aurora gaming laptop. This thing's got performance at the absolute next level with Intel Core processors. And even better, you can get it during Black Friday starting at $899.99.

[Adam DeVine]

Plus you can save on all kinds of displays and accessories like Alienware 32.4K QD OLED gaming mon for Ultimate Visual Fidelity. These really are incredible deals on PCs with otherworldly performance. So visit alienware.com dealsoon and grab what you can before the biggest sale of the year goes dark.

[Blake Anderson]

All right legends. You know we're all about the important stuff. Like what are you wearing around the house? If your answer is a towel barely hanging on, it's time for an upgrade. We're talking about Dude Robe. The robe that went viral on shark tank. Over 300,000 guys have already made the switch. It looks like a hoodie, feels like a post shower victory, and it's made with their proprietary weekend blend fabric, so every day feels like the weekend hoodie. On the outside, towel lined on the inside, non floppy sleeves, built in belt. You can't lose. And yet. Yeah, there's a secret pocket too. They even have matching shorts and pants so you can lounge like a legend without risking the old dick slip. Right? It's the robe you'll throw on and never want to take off. Better hide it before the wife steals it. With the holidays coming up, it's the perfect gift for all the special dudes in your life. Your brother, your dad, your best bud, or that guy still rocking gym shorts from college. Go to duderobe.com and use code thisis for 15% off. That's this is you deserve better. So ditch your shitty loungewear and upgrade to Duderobe today. Make your home smell as good as it looks with Pura 4, the smart fragrance diffuser that lets you control your scent from anywhere. Choose from hundreds of premium fragrances, schedule your favorites and set the the perfect mood for every moment. And right now, get yours free when you subscribe to 2 cents for 12 months. Don't wait. This limited time offer won't last. Try it risk free for 30 days [e-mail] you know that feeling when you.

[Adam DeVine]

Come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul.

[Blake Anderson]

Or.

[Adam DeVine]

Or when you're packing for a trip and your cat refuses to leave the suitcase. Aw, buddy, I can't take you with me. Yeah, we've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real. And you know what? It's completely normal.

[Blake Anderson]

Nothing is worse than leaving your pet home alone for a period of time. Especially when you're packing for a trip. You see your dog sitting in the suitcase with those sad puppy dog eyes. It kills you. So that's exactly why Hill's pet nutrition exists. They understand that being a pet parent means being human. With all our imperfections and daily juggling.

[Anders Holm]

Acts, Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible. Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance attention between multiple pets, Hill's pet nutrition gets it. They've created science based nutrition that supports your pet's lifelong health so you can feel confident even when life gets hectic because you're only human. There's Hills. Science does more. Ready to let go the guilt. Find the right food@hills pet.com iheart that's hillspet.com iheart.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, five years. You want to know what I'm going pro at? Fingerboarding.

[Anders Holm]

Where's this going?

[Blake Anderson]

It's fingerboarding. Maybe tech decks get me sponsored. I bet I could get paid five years from now. Do they still have tournaments you can.

[Anders Holm]

Get paid by tech decks right now. Blake.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, you just. The fact that you just mentioned tech decks.

[Anders Holm]

Right. You made five bucks.

[Adam DeVine]

They're send. They're sending you a. A check.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's what I mean. We're all.

[Blake Anderson]

I just made $5 and got 10 tech decks sent to my house off. Just mentioning it, by the way.

[Anders Holm]

The fact that you think you could get. Get there. You show no respect for these people who are so good at flip. At flipping little skateboards with their fingers.

[Blake Anderson]

No, it's actually really hard.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Tech decking is super hard.

[Blake Anderson]

It's hard. It's really hard.

[Anders Holm]

That's what I'm saying.

[Adam DeVine]

By the way, the level of respect Durst thinks that we need to give to tech deck pros.

[Kyle Newacheck]

As a pickleballer, I love what Ders is saying.

[Anders Holm]

I've been there. I've been five years. As someone who, like, I devoted. I devoted my young life to swimming and got to a certain level.

[Blake Anderson]

But that's a sport.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. It doesn't need to be a sport.

[Blake Anderson]

That requires so much more.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I love what Ders is doing.

[Anders Holm]

I'm not.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'm.

[Anders Holm]

I'm talking about something. I'm talking about something I dedicated myself. I got to a certain level after however many fucking hours, like, whatever kind of specific physical things that gave me any kind of advantage or whatever. Okay, There were still people that were so much more elite than me. And I took 15 or whatever, 20 years.

[Adam DeVine]

But you could go pro in beer chugging or.

[Anders Holm]

But this is your now you're talking about. So my kid just got the Guinness Book of World Records. And as we were kids, it was really cool. It was like, longest hair, longest fingernails, fattest twins.

[Adam DeVine]

Now it's like, biggest, fattest cock, most gaping butthole.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Not in there. Not in there.

[Anders Holm]

Longest. Now it's like longest underwater juggling fucking whatevers. And you're like, that's not a thing.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, it's too specific.

[Anders Holm]

And so what you're talking about is, yeah, I could be the world's best beer chugger.

[Blake Anderson]

Balance on one legger.

[Anders Holm]

Key drop to other hander. I'm a man. I could do this. I could do this for years.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, you have to be able to go pro. There has to be, like, you get to a certain point and you get paid for it.

[Anders Holm]

Hey, Mercedes, get at me.

[Blake Anderson]

Tech deck.

[Anders Holm]

Presenting the new electric Mercedes Anders Holm. Key drop. Well, say no more. He's the best key dropper in the.

[Kyle Newacheck]

World that we've ever seen. From one hand to the other hander.

[Anders Holm]

You want me to do it? Okay, I'm here.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'll do it.

[Blake Anderson]

What if I picked up archery? Do you think if the first time I picked up a bow and arrow.

[Anders Holm]

Gina Davis, you know, Gina Davis was in the Olympics for archery?

[Blake Anderson]

Totally.

[Adam DeVine]

Really? God, what a babe.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And I got a bow and arrow over pandemic.

[Anders Holm]

You had a bone. You had a boner over what? Cut to commercial.

[Blake Anderson]

And you were.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You were commercial, not a boner.

[Blake Anderson]

Kyle, you were like a natural. So I'm like, if this dude worked on it every day for the next five years, maybe Kyle, like, he was born to be an archer, right?

[Adam DeVine]

I think I could. For skeet shooting, I think I could go pro. Skeet shooting.

[Anders Holm]

GoPro.

[Adam DeVine]

Being a shooter in five years, I'm a. I'm a very good. Naturally, I'm a very good shot. I just don't go enough. I think if I did it every day, I could get very good.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's cool. That's a good one.

[Anders Holm]

Professional level.

[Adam DeVine]

Professional level. Not the best.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, so here's. I guess here's the thing. What do you think? You couldn't do if you have five years in every day.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, yeah. I keep hearing these things where I'm like, I could do this, I could do that.

[Adam DeVine]

Anything athletic. Anything athletic. Like, I don't think, like, I'm too old at this point. Like, my body won't get to the level. Like, I won't be a professional basketball.

[Blake Anderson]

Player or whatever, but, like, shuffleboard. You could do darts, you could do foosball, you could do pool.

[Adam DeVine]

No, I suck. I. I'm not naturally good at darts. So, no, I don't think I would be.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay. What about pool?

[Adam DeVine]

I'm not that good at pool.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

So no. But foosball. I have a base that I know that I'm starting off already, far enough ahead that I think in five years, if I really dedicated myself, I could.

[Anders Holm]

Right. Didn't some homies do this? With curling where they were like, we want to go to the Olympics. What sport do we think we have the best chance in? And they started doing curling and they actually made it to the Olympics.

[Blake Anderson]

Made it.

[Anders Holm]

Or like, Earl went to trials or whatever.

[Blake Anderson]

I think that was bobsledding. I think it was Jamaica.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, it was cool.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Running Jamaican bobs sled team.

[Blake Anderson]

No, you're right, because curling is probably a pretty.

[Adam DeVine]

Like, that's the most easy access, I would say. And the fact that especially if you're.

[Anders Holm]

From a country like Canada. Well, no, that's very hard.

[Adam DeVine]

Mexico.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, like, I don't know, Jamaica. You know, Jamaica or something.

[Blake Anderson]

Stupid.

[Adam DeVine]

Dumbass.

[Anders Holm]

If you're from like Republic of Congo or where they're like, no one's doing it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You're like, Jamaica.

[Adam DeVine]

You know, I don't know, somewhere where it's easy. Like the coldest country in North America.

[Blake Anderson]

Unreal, dude. Remember Adam? We also did that weird ass sketch comedy thing that was called 72 virgins. And it was about these two, like, frat bros who basically go to what they think is a frat, but it's a sleeper cell for terrorists, and they like, convince us. And it went on like cnn.

[Adam DeVine]

And yes, it was very viral.

[Blake Anderson]

Made some noise.

[Kyle Newacheck]

The Drudge Report or whatever.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, it was crazy. And it was just like, we were just, I don't know, just saying yes to whatever. But yeah, it was just.

[Adam DeVine]

That was a funny. At least a funny conceit.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I mean, we spent a whole summer. We spent a whole entire summer working on the fucking. On the fucking live show. It was like a summer of our lives. And we got paid like 300 bucks.

[Blake Anderson]

We said we got paid in gum and shit.

[Anders Holm]

Hey, not My fault. Not my fault.

[Blake Anderson]

We got paid in gum. We talked about it.

[Anders Holm]

Not my fault.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, yeah. Right, right, right. Go girl energy.

[Blake Anderson]

Go girl energy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

[Adam DeVine]

So that being said, I think maybe, you know, I don't know if we would have tickled each other, but we. We did do some things that I look back, and I'm like, yeah, buddy.

[Anders Holm]

I mean, I tucked my dick between my legs on stage. That's as. That's as close to tickling another person as I was getting.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, you did.

[Adam DeVine]

I mean, I've showed my butthole in Game Over Superman, so we've all done things.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah. So what are we talking about here?

[Adam DeVine]

I'm actually proud of that, but.

[Anders Holm]

You're proud of that butt. Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Sucked on my dirt. Sucked on my titty. You're sucked on my titty.

[Adam DeVine]

We all do things.

[Anders Holm]

Goodbye. And by the way, Kyle blackmailed me about it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I did. I did. Sorry about that. Whoopsie. Air that out.

[Blake Anderson]

It happens, man.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, and then. And then the issue was. Was.

[Blake Anderson]

And then more.

[Adam DeVine]

It came out like, they held onto the movie for years.

[Anders Holm]

What movie are we talking about? The 72 virgin?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Because that was just a tray.

[Blake Anderson]

Ratco.

[Adam DeVine]

No, I forget. I think it was Ratco the dictator son.

[Anders Holm]

Okay.

[Adam DeVine]

And then they held onto that forever, and then it came out, like, right as Workaholics was coming out.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, that's right.

[Adam DeVine]

And then they were pairing Ratco the dictator son with Workaholics episodes on Comedy Central. Like, on Comedy.

[Blake Anderson]

By the way, the main character in Ratco is Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. I don't know the actors.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes. Efren Ramirez, I believe.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes. But he was the main. He's Ratco.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's sick.

[Blake Anderson]

I don't think I've ever watched the movie, but maybe it's funny. It's probably highly offensive.

[Adam DeVine]

I bet there's a chance that you would think it's funny in a way that you like bad stuff. You know what I mean?

[Anders Holm]

Dude, comedy is offensive.

[Kyle Newacheck]

What I mean, Blake made his favorite type of movie.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And he hasn't even watched it objectively.

[Adam DeVine]

Bad.

[Blake Anderson]

I don't know. I don't know if I have the patience for it anymore. I don't know if I could sit down and just watch Rat Code.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

You're always so busy, like, doing stuff.

[Blake Anderson]

I am, man.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You got to be not watching stuff. Like, not always watching stuff.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

I listen to Pods now, man. I don't.

[Anders Holm]

Name Name 5 podcast you listen to.

[Blake Anderson]

I don't want to.

[Anders Holm]

I don't Want to.

[Adam DeVine]

I don't want to.

[Anders Holm]

I'm not trying to get free besides this one.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm not trying to get free press. I know it's been a long ways out, but it's never too late to give somebody their flowers. Bob Saget, What a great TV dad, man. Rip to a goat, man.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Dude.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Full House. What a run that shows was the.

[Anders Holm]

You know what? I had. I had forgotten that he was the voice of How I Met your Mother. He was like the telling the story guy.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, really?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, the narrator.

[Anders Holm]

He's got. Yeah, that's the term. I work in the business. He had his Full House paper. Right. Stacked it. Then he had his afv.

[Kyle Newacheck]

America's.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, oh, yeah, America's videos paper. Right. Stacked that. But then I was like, where's his recent paper from? Is it just doing standup? And then I remember remembered he was the voice of, like, the storyteller on.

[Blake Anderson]

How I Met yout Mother and all those shows. You just named that money. Stacked it. Stacked high.

[Anders Holm]

And did you. I was like, Guillermo del Toro was a co owner of How I Met your Mother, so. Oh, also. Oh, where are the producers on that?

[Blake Anderson]

They're not trying to call you out. Well, you know Bob Saget, that's a San Francisco legend right there. Real Bay Area legend, dude.

[Anders Holm]

Is he. Did he go to the same high school as you or not?

[Blake Anderson]

No, I think it was just the fact that Full House took place in San Francisco and, like, it's kind of a place you can go and see the house. Yeah, it's just like.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Full House had, like, rice a Roni jokes.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, yeah. And he was, like, constantly wearing, like, warriors jerseys before it was Steph Curry splash, bro hours. He's wearing, like, Giants gear. So, you know, his. His status is. He's. He's. He's a legend in the Bay. That's for sure.

[Anders Holm]

I like to think that if we were cast on that show, like, it would have worked out pretty good.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, dude. For days.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, it would have. Yeah, for sure.

[Anders Holm]

I'm trying to think, like, would I be. Would I be Saget?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yes.

[Anders Holm]

And would Adam be Uncle Jesse?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Adam is Uncle Jesse. I.

[Anders Holm]

What? Orange Blake.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Uncle Jesse Dave Couler, man. I feel like.

[Anders Holm]

I know, but Blake seems like way more of a Uncle Joey Dave Couy type. Or is Adam.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I don't know.

[Anders Holm]

I guess. You know what? I'm fucking with something sacred.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, it's okay. It's okay to live in the multi.

[Blake Anderson]

Well, that's the thing, because. What? Well, you have to think about. You have to think about.

[Anders Holm]

Where is Adam Saget and I'm Jesse and Blake is cool. Yay.

[Blake Anderson]

I don't think it, I don't think because like the, the main thing, like their characteristics is like Joey was heck a silly comedian dude, right?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yes. Always gave a laugh to the kids.

[Blake Anderson]

But Jesse was. Jesse was a playboy, but he was in a band. Getting, getting. Getting some head.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, he was. Hey, I'll be right back. I'm getting head.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, he was always getting head.

[Blake Anderson]

They didn't really explore that, but that bro was getting domed up in the car cuz he wasn't doing it at the house. You missed that episode.

[Kyle Newacheck]

He wasn't doing it at the house.

[Anders Holm]

He was personally getting tickets at the park.

[Blake Anderson]

Hey, it's a full house, bro. Where is Uncle Jesse getting domed up?

[Kyle Newacheck]

He in the car on the San Francisco streets, bro.

[Blake Anderson]

Uncle Jesse has the most logged car blow jobs in television history.

[Kyle Newacheck]

He's in Golden Gate Park.

[Blake Anderson]

Anna says he was getting it in the attic. That's right. They had an attic.

[Anders Holm]

Oh yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, he lived there.

[Anders Holm]

Like, do not go in the attic. No, no, he had Comet. He had Comet waiting. He would leave Comet at the door and whenever Como starts scratching the door, he'd be like, get your clothes on, get your clothes on, get your clothes.

[Blake Anderson]

You gotta go, Kimmy's here.

[Anders Holm]

Kimmy Gibbler's here.

[Adam DeVine]

Kimmy.

[Anders Holm]

Kimmy Gibbler's like, no. Her comedic sensibility was off the rifter scale.

[Blake Anderson]

Where are they now?

[Kyle Newacheck]

What happened to Kim Gilbert?

[Anders Holm]

And then she came back to it and slayed. I watched the reboot pilot and she was on point still.

[Blake Anderson]

So Kimmy Gibbler was. Still had it.

[Anders Holm]

She was gibbling.

[Kyle Newacheck]

But did she, did she do any. So you're saying she went out the business and then came back because they.

[Anders Holm]

Were like, hey, do you want to make $20,000 a week or 50, whatever the it was.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, I'm not just a gift.

[Anders Holm]

I'm like, just to hit him with some Gibbles.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's so cool. Like she was like made for that role and that role.

[Anders Holm]

Dust off your jean jacket with the fringe. Hey, Kimmy, we're wondering if you want to. To come back and make 20 grand an episode. And she goes, let me. And just hit. She still got the.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Oh boy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You know that. What? She clicked right in on the zoom call.

[Anders Holm]

Let me think about that for a second. Let me gibble.

[Blake Anderson]

All I got to do is gibble, gibble. Oh, yeah.

[Anders Holm]

I think I'm gonna be gibbling. She heard the rumblings about the reboot and she was waiting by the phone ready to gibble.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm drooling boy.

[Anders Holm]

And you know Kirk Cameron's sister, what's her name? So Kurt, whatever. Cameron. Candace Cameron.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Candace Cameron.

[Anders Holm]

No, that. She was like, I gotta get upstaged by this chick again. Dude. Kimmy Gibbler came in like Urkel. Dude, she came in like Urkel D and just stole the show.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, she did.

[Blake Anderson]

Kimmy Gibbler shout out to all the Kim Gibler stands.

[Adam DeVine]

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was caught? I don't know. I might have told this story on the podcast. I'm not sure, but I was caught jerking off by my mom. Okay, well, I'm in. I'm in the basement and I'm a senior in high school. And you enter through my garage and you go right into the basement. It's an old computer. Computer. It takes forever to like download and. Or upload pornos.

[Anders Holm]

Yes.

[Adam DeVine]

Via the Sublime directory. And there were so many pop ups and so there's just like a hundred pop ups that pop up. And I hear the garage door coming up and I'm trying to. Is this the. Yeah, yeah. And I'm trying to click out of it quickly.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

I jump on the couch, she comes in, right? And my mom looks at the computer and she, she goes, mom's pretty chill.

[Kyle Newacheck]

And she's like, Jesus, you disgust me, sexy sibling.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, you disgust me. Yes. And then I go upstairs and.

[Anders Holm]

And why did she say your boobs are huge? Because what if Britney had seen this?

[Blake Anderson]

Right?

[Anders Holm]

Uhhuh. I did. I did tell her. Ripping in the terence. I did tell it.

[Adam DeVine]

All right, well, we know it's a classic. It's cuz.

[Anders Holm]

It is a classic.

[Adam DeVine]

It was like hot brother on sister action. And it was two siblings, which is a weird, weird. It's a weird pop up. Why is that a pop up?

[Anders Holm]

It really pisses me off. It doesn't it piss you guys off that like, that's so prevalent?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Are we talking about this?

[Blake Anderson]

Can we cut to commercial?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. What? Well, but it's step, right?

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, Step. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Still, it's like, what?

[Adam DeVine]

Allegedly.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I mean, I'm not, I'm not justifying it. I'm not justifying it.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm just saying you're allowed to.

[Anders Holm]

It's a.

[Adam DeVine]

It just even your steps, like sister or whatever, you're like, hey, probably have been around them for most of your life and now you want to them. That's Gross, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, it is.

[Blake Anderson]

Guys, let's. Let's not bury the. The freaking headline here. You know what started it all?

[Anders Holm]

What?

[Blake Anderson]

Do you guys remember the movie Clueless? The whole movie is about Paul Rudd being her. Her stepbrother and Alicia Silverstone wants to bone him.

[Anders Holm]

No, he works at the dad's law firm.

[Blake Anderson]

No, they're step people together. Brother and sister.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Siblings?

[Anders Holm]

I don't think so.

[Adam DeVine]

I don't really remember that movie.

[Kyle Newacheck]

But you're forgetting. You're forgetting the Brady Bunch.

[Blake Anderson]

Wait, what happened in that one?

[Anders Holm]

That's true. We're all forgetting the Brady Bunch. Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

If your TV breaks now, do you get a TV repairman? Is that even a job anymore? Or you just buy a new.

[Anders Holm]

It can't be, right?

[Adam DeVine]

You just buy a new tv. I was thinking of that the other day. I was like, if this TV were to break, break, I would just buy a new tv. I wouldn't even. There's. I remember specifically, on multiple occasions, a TV repair man coming to the house. I remember our VCR breaking. My dad took it to the VCR repair man.

[Anders Holm]

Right.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm like, that doesn't exist anymore.

[Anders Holm]

Well, because a lot of the times for old TVs, there was a bulb in there. Correct. So, like, if the bulb was all fucked up, you had to, like, open it up and replace that. And then vhs, sometimes the tape would get caught. So you'd have to take it somewhere to get it out.

[Adam DeVine]

Yep.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Or you'd have to. He'd have to clean the head reds. Remember that? Right.

[Anders Holm]

Did you guys have the. The little red sports car that would rewind the tapes for you?

[Adam DeVine]

Yes, I did.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, yeah, baby.

[Blake Anderson]

That must be the glass elevator generation, because I don't know what the you're talking about, homeboy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You didn't have a rewinder?

[Blake Anderson]

No, no.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It was a specific machine to rewind.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

So you didn't your heads up on your VCR car?

[Blake Anderson]

No.

[Anders Holm]

It would go hella fast and then slow down towards the end. So it didn't.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

So sick.

[Blake Anderson]

I did not have. That was a luxury.

[Adam DeVine]

It looks like a little red sports car.

[Blake Anderson]

The little red Corvette.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Baby. River rewind so fast. Oh, wow. Hey.

[Blake Anderson]

Wow. God damn. That was a luxury. We didn't have that in my home.

[Anders Holm]

At Adam's wedding. We were talking about something.

[Blake Anderson]

Your brother was the All Star, by the way.

[Adam DeVine]

I'll give him the crown.

[Anders Holm]

Did you not hear about you, Kyle? You heard about this? Your brother comes up and he goes, we were talking about something. He goes, I Mean shit. My brother, I always looked up to him. He had the world record for pogo.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I said, I had it.

[Anders Holm]

And I go, what? Yeah. He said, you had it? And I go, I don't remember this when. And he goes, when we were kids. And I go, how old? And he was like. He was like 12, and I was like nine or eight or whatever. And I go, kyle had the world record for pogo sticking at 12. He goes, Is it real? I go, no, he didn't. And he goes, yeah, no, he, like, slept leaning up against the wall. The whole thing was that you just couldn't get off the stick. And I go, adam Newachek, Baby Nooch. Your brother lied to you when you were super young and impressionable and you've thought this your whole life and goes, no, it's impossible. I go, think about it. He slept leaning up against a wall on a pogo stick, and his face.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Jesus.

[Anders Holm]

Fell off.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, what a sweet man.

[Anders Holm]

He was like, I gotta. I gotta text.

[Blake Anderson]

That was from the tequila.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. I think he. I don't know. Something. But he's a storyteller, man. There's been plenty of.

[Anders Holm]

He's a story believer. You're a.

[Kyle Newacheck]

There's plenty. No, but he also does a lot of, like, filling in blanks to make. Make it awesome in his mind.

[Blake Anderson]

Big Fishes. He Big Fishes. You.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, it's Big Fish. Big Fish is like, what? That was like our family movie. Like, when that movie came out, we all looked at each other and we're like, that movie rocks.

[Anders Holm]

Worst movie.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Because it's all about Tall Tale.

[Adam DeVine]

I love Big Fish too. I saw it twice in the theater. Dude, that movie.

[Anders Holm]

So bad.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, that movie kicked butt. Dude, that's one of my favorite movies of all time.

[Blake Anderson]

I didn't recall liking it.

[Anders Holm]

It's a bad movie.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's a fantastic.

[Adam DeVine]

It rules. And also, it didn't come out when we were kids. We were adults.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Utterly forgettable, absolutely memorable, and just, like, you know, touching.

[Anders Holm]

There was a big fish, I believe.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, there was a big fish at the end. There was a truth to it, and there was truth to all the characters as well. But the. In the fabric in between, all of that was. Was made up, you know, embellished, if you will.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay.

[Anders Holm]

However you need to explain it.

[Adam DeVine]

So we think he made this story up about you being this pogo pro.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I think he knows that I wanted it when I was 8 years old and we were in Korea.

[Adam DeVine]

Or do we think that you might have told him this story when you were really Young. And he. And he put that little kernel back here. And only.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, we're only two years apart. That's not. That's not happening.

[Anders Holm]

Then he's an idiot and found out how dumb he was.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, he just plays. He just plays in reality. What's. He's just.

[Anders Holm]

Dude, his heart broke when I was like, think about this.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, it didn't. He was drunk. He was acting, bro. Trust. I guarantee this. No, he played you in that moment. I guarantee.

[Adam DeVine]

So Dur was the one that got.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, my God. It's the biggest reveal. Oh.

[Blake Anderson]

You got new checks, bro. And that's why you don't like the movie Mother.

[Kyle Newacheck]

He'll take it all.

[Adam DeVine]

It just got new A check.

[Blake Anderson]

It's the newest punk.

[Adam DeVine]

You might get new attack in this.

[Anders Holm]

In this universe. You guys are creating my family.

[Kyle Newacheck]

My family always says, now, like, don't ruin a good story with the truth. That's like what their is.

[Blake Anderson]

That's bad, dude.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, no, I know, I know. It's not a great place to live.

[Adam DeVine]

Live.

[Kyle Newacheck]

But that is something that is a.

[Blake Anderson]

It's going around the family.

[Anders Holm]

Your family says this?

[Kyle Newacheck]

It happens. Huh?

[Anders Holm]

Your family says this.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Who. At what point?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Like, when my ma says that.

[Anders Holm]

When. When is she saying? Like, when was that? Were you, like, laying in bed and she was reading you stories and she was like, you know, speaking of stories.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Whenever you're telling a good story and you kind of embellish a little bit, and I know what it means. Calls the other person out, Then you're like, hey, man, let me tell my story. That's basically what it is. You know what I mean? Like, there's no reason for you to cut it in front. This is a ride.

[Adam DeVine]

Hey, and Kyle, I agree with that. I. I love that about your family. I think that's fun.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I'm creating a ride for the people who are listening right now.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, that's fun.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah. But when I hear your story, I go, that's a lie. Like, when I. When I hear Adam tell a story, and I'm like, I was there. It wasn't that crazy.

[Kyle Newacheck]

But guess. Guess what story you just told. And then, like, you know, it keeps going.

[Adam DeVine]

It's not as fun, though.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Cool.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, it does keep going. Like. Like how when you're sitting watching big fish and you're like, is this over? And. No, just. It keeps going.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Shut up. That's weird. Why don't you like that movie? That's a trip and a half.

[Blake Anderson]

I gotta watch it again.

[Anders Holm]

I thought it was. I thought it was stupid.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, no, I got that. I get all of those adjectives, but. What's up?

[Anders Holm]

I thought it was, like. I didn't like the tone.

[Blake Anderson]

What happened to you?

[Kyle Newacheck]

You What? What is it? No, what is it?

[Anders Holm]

I didn't like the tone at all.

[Kyle Newacheck]

The tone of magic, like, fairy tale.

[Adam DeVine]

The.

[Anders Holm]

Like, I'm a guy going from town to town. Oh, you're tall. Oh, I remember. I remember a tall guy.

[Adam DeVine]

It's Tim Burton movie.

[Anders Holm]

So it's Ewan McGregor.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup. Finny kills Jessica Lang.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Crudup kills it.

[Anders Holm]

You.

[Adam DeVine]

So do you. Not with Tim. I mean, that's a good impression.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I. With Tim Burton. Hard, bro.

[Anders Holm]

That is one of the worst Tim Burton movies. For sure.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's a departure.

[Anders Holm]

But.

[Kyle Newacheck]

What, you like Big Eyes better than that?

[Anders Holm]

I'm sorry.

[Kyle Newacheck]

They like Big Eyes better than that one.

[Blake Anderson]

What's that?

[Anders Holm]

I don't. I don't even know. Big Eyes is Big Eyes.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's another. It's another Burton departure, man.

[Anders Holm]

So you're lumping. You're lumping big Fish with Big Eyes.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, we're talking departures.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No, I'm just saying it's a departure from his regular tone. Like, this was a. I don't think.

[Adam DeVine]

It was that big of a departure. It seems like.

[Blake Anderson]

No, he's goth and dark.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, it was. Normally, he's very much more macabre than that.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

He's. He's a macabre storyteller.

[Blake Anderson]

I get what he's saying.

[Adam DeVine]

Macabre.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah.

[Anders Holm]

Abra macabre.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Macabre.

[Blake Anderson]

When somebody does something bad, just calling it a departure is kind of a.

[Anders Holm]

Cool way to put it. Yeah, yeah, it's fully excused.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's not what I'm saying, though. That's not what I.

[Blake Anderson]

No, I know. I know. You're saying Tim Barton has a very specific tone and look, but it is cool to say departure as, like.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Who said Tim Barton?

[Adam DeVine]

Blake. The fact that I'm 100. Always the one to say words wrong. The fact that Blake just said it. So pumped, dude.

[Anders Holm]

Tim Burton, I love. Look, I love Tim Burton. And I was so pumped to go into that movie. And then when it took its departure to bad movie land, I was like, no, thank you.

[Kyle Newacheck]

You're out of your mind, bro.

[Adam DeVine]

All right.

[Blake Anderson]

Now arriving. Bad movie.

[Adam DeVine]

Now arriving back.

[Kyle Newacheck]

So you felt betrayed by the departure?

[Anders Holm]

Yes.

[Kyle Newacheck]

That's what you felt. You felt betrayed because it's not a bad movie.

[Anders Holm]

Edward Scissorhands is my top 10, probably.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

That's great.

[Anders Holm]

I love that movie.

[Adam DeVine]

That movie rules.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, it's fantastic.

[Kyle Newacheck]

So you felt betrayed. You like a certain flavor.

[Anders Holm]

Pee Wee's big adventure. Both of his Batmans. Yeah, I like a certain flavor.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah, don't change the flavor. Don't change your Burton flavor. You want. You want. You want that to stick.

[Adam DeVine]

You want that black licorice marshmallow cucumber.

[Blake Anderson]

That sugar watermelon marshmallow, baby.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Cotton candy marshmallow.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. You must have been eyeing that beer pong table on the ledge of our house.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Oh, yeah, bro.

[Blake Anderson]

I was probably drinking on some Jungle Juice, dude. It was sick, dude. Just a barrel of, like, a bunch of mixed drink. It was sick.

[Adam DeVine]

No, this was clear. This is when we lived on the. In the dinosaur house. This is post Jungle Juice era.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, okay, gotcha.

[Adam DeVine]

I remember when we used to up Jungle Juice, and that was. That was a very nasty too.

[Kyle Newacheck]

In big ass tubs, bro. We used to do it in garbage.

[Adam DeVine]

Garbage.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Can you. I remember you. I remember very clearly. You addressed as a treasure troll.

[Adam DeVine]

I was dressed as a treasure troll. Is a Halloween party. Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

A stirring Jungle Juice with a fucking 2x4.

[Anders Holm]

Oh, that's boss.

[Blake Anderson]

It was.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. With a 2x4 that we, like, found outside. It was gross.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It was dope. That's life. Fucking dope.

[Adam DeVine]

I. Only because. Only because I had been to frat houses and I had seen how they make Jungle Juice, and I'm like, yeah, it's just a ton of. We'll. We'll just do it like that. And then also our parties, there's only like 20 people there. You know what I mean? It wasn't like a frat. It wasn't like a frat party where there's like 200 people there to drink this. I know, like 15, 20 of us.

[Blake Anderson]

And. And then of course, you turn it into, like a challenge. It's like, we got to finish.

[Anders Holm]

We're like, we're finishing this. Why?

[Adam DeVine]

It was just like, every type of alcohol we possibly could.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Well, dude, do you remember after that, Teddy, friend of the show, put the. Into like, like jars, like Tupperware and put it in the fridge, and he was.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

So we took the Jungle Juice out of the trash can, put it in the fridge, and then that became the challenge for the next, like, year. Like, they were like, in our kitchen for a.

[Anders Holm]

To drink it for the next year.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. It's like, who wants to go after the Jungle Juice? Like, let's do it.

[Blake Anderson]

Some breakfast.

[Anders Holm]

Jj does it go bad?

[Kyle Newacheck]

I don't know.

[Anders Holm]

It's in the fridge.

[Blake Anderson]

No, it's pure alcohol.

[Adam DeVine]

I remember at that party, I. I remember at that party, I mixed two monster energy drinks mixed with vodka and beer. Bonged it well. And, oh, yeah, my heart almost exploded. I remember immediately, like on the last gulp was like. And that was the worst idea I've ever had in my life.

[Blake Anderson]

Goodbye.

[Anders Holm]

How fun was it to be around you after that?

[Adam DeVine]

That was my heartbeat.

[Kyle Newacheck]

No. So scary. So scary.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

It's like, he's going to die.

[Adam DeVine]

He's like, oh, this is a funky beat.

[Anders Holm]

Just turned into human jungle music, dude, it's terrible.

[Adam DeVine]

Are there any take backs, apologies, giveaways? I would to like to take back to ourselves, our 19, 20, 21 year old selves for good luck drinking that jungle juice. I feel like that was a poor decision and we probably took. I wish there was like a little tracker. This is. This now this is a good app. No, where you just like kind of put in like what you're about to do and then that shows you how much time that's going to take off your life and you can go like, oh, this actually, this. Drinking this jungle juice will take like a week and a half off my life. Maybe it's not worth it or maybe it is.

[Anders Holm]

Would you do anything?

[Blake Anderson]

What, like, change his lifestyle? My bro's still gonna say, or do.

[Anders Holm]

You think it would be like now a contest where it's like, yeah, no, that only took five years off your life. Watch this.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm gonna take 10 years, I'm gonna take 25.

[Blake Anderson]

That's what I'm saying. If we could walk up to each other and flash our app and show how many lifetime burritos we've ate and then like, just be like, yo, dude, I'm like, 20 ahead of you right now.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Wait, you have any take backs?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, I do have. I wrote something down. Adam, I'm sorry I called you a scab.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, thank you.

[Blake Anderson]

I know you weren't. You were actually on the picket lines and you are a freaking soldier for that, dude, and I respect you.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, thank you.

[Blake Anderson]

And if I worked there, I would have took you to Russia. It would have been sick.

[Adam DeVine]

Dude, we have been going to Russia, dude, several times.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Russia.

[Adam DeVine]

We would have been living in Russia.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Russia.

[Anders Holm]

He had one of us have a stroke on the podcast. God, that'd be good.

[Adam DeVine]

That'd be good for ratings.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, I heard before you have a stroke.

[Anders Holm]

You.

[Blake Anderson]

You smell orange chicken.

[Anders Holm]

Yeah.

[Kyle Newacheck]

Yeah. I would be crying, dude, if I saw you go down, homie, I'd Be like, oh, my God. Like, that would be.

[Adam DeVine]

You'd be bummed.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I would be smart. Real bummed.

[Adam DeVine]

Who would be the most bummed? Do. Do we think out of the four of us, if. If. If I were to just die most bomb.

[Kyle Newacheck]

I guess if I can see your face while you were passed out, I think I would start crying. If you were. If I could, like, see your face, like, if you fell backwards and passed out right like that, and it was, like, not moving, I think that would. Wait, are we talking to a tailspin?

[Blake Anderson]

Are we talking about who would be the most bummed immediately or like a week later? Kind of smoke sort of cleared. We're kind of. Some people are getting over it.

[Kyle Newacheck]

But what happened, happened.

[Blake Anderson]

Like, who stays the most?

[Adam DeVine]

No, I guess. I guess we're talking about like. Like immediately. Like, who's the most bummed?

[Kyle Newacheck]

Kyle, I'm scared. Yeah, I'm scared out of my mind. I'm scared.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay, and we. And that's another episode of.

[Anders Holm]

Is a Bagel Epic slam.

[Adam DeVine]

Fire away.

[Kyle Newacheck]

My fire away.

[Adam DeVine]

See you next week. Allegedly.

[Blake Anderson]

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[Anders Holm]

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[Adam DeVine]

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[Blake Anderson]

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