Ep 263: TII Fully Loaded

Summary

This Is Important – Ep 263: "TII Fully Loaded" (Sept 9, 2025)

Hosts: Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson, Kyle Newacheck
Podcast: This Is Important (iHeartPodcasts)

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Episode Overview

This episode jumps straight into a signature, uncensored, and improvisational comedic roundtable, as Adam, Anders (referred to as Todd in the transcript), Blake, and Kyle riff on a wild spectrum of "important" topics. The gang delves into bodily functions, sexual etiquette, pop culture nostalgia, reality TV’s political infiltration, and even the intricacies of fundraising at oddly sexualized school events. True to their roots, the Workaholics crew stays irreverent, self-deprecating, and—between frequent tangents—offers surprising slices of social commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Clap,” Gonorrhea, and Semen Discussion

• Why Is It Called "The Clap"?
  The group speculates, jokes, and half-researches the origins of "the clap" as slang for gonorrhea, landing on theories ranging from the French "clapier" (rabbit hutch/brothel) to the Old English "clapan" (to throb/beat), to a mythic old practice of "clapping the genitals" to relieve pain.

  "Alternatively, it may derive from the old English word 'clapan,' meaning to throb or beat." – Todd (06:05)

• Personal Health Stories
  Todd shares a vivid anecdote about finding green/yellow ejaculate, fearing an STD, but learning from his doctor it was just an infection. The prescribed "homework"?

  "He was like, go home, jack off... Jack off again and again and again. Try to get it all out your body." – Todd (08:03)
  The group gleefully riffs on the idea of producing "Nickelodeon Gak" and imagines the most absurd sexual scenarios ("jizzing Silly String").

Debate: Do You Warn a Partner About “Exceptional” Ejaculate?

• The Ethics of Disclosure
  The guys debate sexual etiquette: If someone produces an unusually high volume ("a cup") of semen, does etiquette require a warning?

  "If it's a cup, I kind of... that's probably my calling card to, like, let it happen and have them be like, holy shit. I go, yeah, gotcha, bitch. If it's a gallon, you want to get the heads up." – Adam (13:20)
  "You’d have to lay some sort of, like, a tarp down... you're gonna be changing your sheets after this, brother." – Blake (14:03)

2. Pop Culture & Nostalgia: Aliens, ALF, and 'Big Dick Energy'

• Alien Showdowns:
  The crew revisits childhood favorites (Mac and Me, ALF), arguing about the merits and forgotten movie sequels.

  "My alien is and always will be ALF. I’m an ALF boy through and through." – Todd (17:28)
  They marvel at 80s sitcom weirdness (the eating cats gag from ALF) and 80s/90s crossover comedies.

• Who in Comedy Had the Biggest Dick?
  A recurring, tongue-in-cheek sidebar on rumored "huge dongs" among comedy legends:

  "Jon Hamm is known for having just a whole ham in his pants... Rodney Dangerfield apparently had just a massive..." – Todd/Adam (19:29)

3. Politics, Reality TV, and the State of America

• RFK’s Fitness Challenge & Political Reality Stars
  Adam lampoons Robert F. Kennedy’s public pushup/pullup challenge and the oddity of reality TV personalities entering politics:

  "I'm like, how are you, like, bro? Come on, pussy gym bro-ing challenge to America... how about just like walking a mile?" – Adam (26:53)

• Biggest Loser Documentary
  Todd shares thoughts on a Netflix doc about 'Biggest Loser' contestants’ post-show struggles, questioning the reality of rapid transformation and exploitation.

• The “Open Doors” of the Trump White House
  The crew riffs on how the Trump era made the White House feel attainable by anyone—including reality TV alums—contrasting it with previous eras’ elitism.

  "In Trump’s White House, I’m like, ah... I could be Secretary of State, man." – Todd (29:53)

4. Cheerleader Gender Furore & Culture Wars

• The group brings up public freakouts over male cheerleaders for the Minnesota Vikings, comparing reactionary outrage to nostalgia for "real leaders" like Reagan and Bush.
• Spiral into a debate over whether actors or reality stars have more credibility as public figures, with shout-outs to Real World and Road Rules alums (Theo Von, The Miz).

5. Comedy, Standup, and Finding Your Voice

• Todd gives a behind-the-scenes look at meeting Theo Von, noting it took time for Von to embrace his true comedic voice:

  "I think when it really clicked for him was... when he grew his mullet out and was like, no, I'm from Louisiana." – Todd (35:13)

6. The Presidential Pipeline

• Satirically discuss who should (and should not) be president, expressing preference for unknown, competent candidates over celebrities:

  "I want our next president to be a guy we've never heard of... A smart guy that we suddenly start to hear about because he's good at speaking..." – Todd (36:19)

• Lighthearted proposal for a “three-headed” presidency (all hosts as co-presidents), concluding it’s a Workaholics episode waiting to happen.

7. Vegas Live Show & Fundraisers Gone Wild

• Announcements for live shows in Vegas (Nov. 20th, "during F1").

• Fantasizing about strip-offs, burlesque, and Thunder Down Under joining their gig.

• Multiple riffs on attending or running school fundraisers in strip clubs/burlesque venues:

  "We had a burlesque show at, like, our elementary school... No, sorry. Preschool fundraiser." – Adam (53:50) The hosts wryly acknowledge the absurdity, with Adam and Todd calling out the tastelessness—especially post-fatherhood.

• Iconography of School Mascots
  Digression into Hollywood High School’s mascot: The Sheiks—its cultural weirdness and the tidal changes in mascot choices. Adam playfully kicks off a campaign to change it to something more “relevant,” like the Shreks.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On etiquette for "large finishes":

  "If I was a doctor... and they're like, well, you don't have a disease, but this is what your body's doing now..." – Todd (10:26)

• On “reality star politicians”:

  "These are the people. These are the people." – Adam (29:20)

• On their potential political run:

  "Yeah, it's like workaholics, but we're the president." – Todd (49:03)

• On school fundraising event venues:

  "If I'm putting a fundraiser for children, it's at least got to be... it doesn’t need to be someone with their titties." – Todd (55:27)

• On being a square for opposing sexy fundraisers:

  "I guess I'm a square. I was like, why are we doing—why this here?" – Adam (55:05)

• On school mascots:

  "Hollywood High School to be the... their mascot is an Arab leader. Arab tribe..." – Todd (61:31) "I got to get the my Arab American homies to march down to Hollywood High School and demand that they change it..." – Todd (62:17)

• On the confusion between the cartoon and male entertainers:

  "Which came first, was it the male strippers or was it the cartoon? What's named after what?" – Blake (49:36)

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Key Segments by Time

• [03:15–04:57] Small talk & Target/Tarjay riff
• [05:00–12:00] The "clap," STDs, and the "green jizz" story
• [13:00–16:00] Silly String/large loads conversation
• [17:10–20:00] Childhood aliens: Mac & Me, ALF, and their movie adaptations
• [19:03–20:43] The comedy world’s “biggest” rumor mill
• [26:32–28:29] RFK's fitness challenge & ‘Biggest Loser’ documentary
• [29:23–30:58] Real World/Road Rules to White House pipeline
• [33:16–36:13] Theo Von's comedy growth & “finding your voice”
• [47:39–48:51] Fantasy: co-president “three-hander” ticket
• [52:00–55:00] Vegas show, Thunder Down Under, fundraising, bizarre school events
• [58:15–62:13] LA school mascots, "The Sheiks," and pushing for a mascot update to “The Shreks”

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Flow & Tone

• Loose, irreverent, and non-linear. Conversation frequently veers from a serious(ish) riff to a punchline, sometimes in the same breath.
• Comedic detachment mixed with genuine social reflection. While mostly gag-driven, they do land substantial points about politics, celebrity culture, and the perpetual absurdity of the times.
• Self-mockery. The group is open about their own evolving perspectives (especially regarding appropriateness, adulthood, and parenthood).

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Final Thoughts

For listeners who missed this episode, it’s a classic “This Is Important” romp: fast, filthy, scatterbrained, but threaded with authentic chemistry and flashes of surprising insight about manhood, modern times, and cultural confusion. Despite the parade of jokes about bodily fluids, mascots, and Vegas, they ultimately reveal their affection for each other and a subtle yearning for something more grown up (even if that still includes a little Thunder Down Under).

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Upcoming:

• Live show in Vegas: November 20th, during F1 week—the only show this year before the cruise!
• Call for TII Nation to get involved, grab tickets, and prepare for a burlesque-infused, possibly semi-nude, Workaholics reunion on stage.

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Transcript

[Blake]

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[Todd]

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[Blake]

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[Todd]

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[Adam]

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[Blake]

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[Blake]

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[Todd]

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[Blake]

Pew.

[Todd]

But now you can eliminate that stank with Little Dude Wipes Bubble Bum, the bubble gum scented flushable wet wipe for your little stanker.

[Adam]

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[Blake]

I'm a man.

[Adam]

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[Blake]

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[Todd]

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[Adam]

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[Todd]

Welcome to this Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on this is Important.

[Blake]

Let's get naked. Let's have like a burlesque show.

[Todd]

I'm from the planet of silly. I'm a person of string.

[Adam]

If it's just intercourse, my cup runneth over.

[Todd]

Let's go.

[Adam]

Oh man, I had a bad clap. Did you guys have a good clap? I had a bad clap.

[Blake]

I have the clap.

[Todd]

Oh, mine was okay. I like that green. That green really pops on you, Jersey.

[Adam]

Hey man, I think it was $39.99 at Target, across the street from the old workaholics office.

[Todd]

You know what fun people say? They say tar.

[Blake]

Oh yeah. Is hilarious.

[Adam]

Whole paycheck.

[Todd]

Yeah, a lot of fun. My mom still refuses to say Target. She only says target 100% of the time.

[Adam]

Who do you think came up with that? Cuz it's good. There's. It's undeniable.

[Blake]

Snl. SNL maybe.

[Todd]

Definitely an ant.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Todd]

You think?

[Adam]

It was not a professional writer.

[Todd]

No, no, no, it was an ant. One ant somewhere said it. It caught on in that small town and then it just spread like wildfire.

[Adam]

I'm getting like 30 rock writer. Okay. You know someone from, from under her school.

[Blake]

Oh, Tina. Tina Fey.

[Adam]

It's clever.

[Todd]

No, it's a. It's an aunt, without a doubt. Aunt adjacent.

[Adam]

Well, this writer might be an aunt.

[Blake]

She might be an aunt now.

[Adam]

Also, whole paycheck is.

[Blake]

That one's really good.

[Adam]

Classic. Whole Foods classic.

[Blake]

You said you had a bad clap. What? What disease is the clap? What is the clap?

[Adam]

Gonorrhea.

[Todd]

What disease? Yeah, it's gonorrhea. Right?

[Blake]

Is it gonorrhea? Why do they call it the clap?

[Todd]

Gonorrhea.

[Blake]

That's fucking wild.

[Adam]

Why do they call it the clap, Todd?

[Blake]

Your booty clap? What is gonorrhea?

[Adam]

Yeah, that's what it is. It's because you're. Booty clap.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Why?

[Todd]

Why do they call it the clap? Because it hurts so bad. You just gotta.

[Adam]

Oh, you just clap your dick.

[Blake]

It's like somebody's clapping your dick, like.

[Adam]

All right, here we go. The name the clap. Thanks. You knew this. This doesn't. Like you cut and paste.

[Blake]

This isn't even a. This isn't even a link.

[Todd]

Todd, that came quicker than anything you've ever said.

[Adam]

Yeah, what, that. It's a short for a French word, clapior, which meant ra. Rabbit hutch, and was used as slang for brothels where the disease was rampant.

[Blake]

Rabbit hutch. What the fuck?

[Todd]

Rabbit hutch.

[Blake]

This doesn't help at all.

[Adam]

It's like. You fuck like rabbits, right?

[Todd]

You fuck like rabbits. Yeah.

[Adam]

Yeah.

[Todd]

I don't know. Hutch must mean like a rabbit hutch. A little house rabbit dent.

[Blake]

To throb, to beat.

[Todd]

Alternatively, it may derive from the old English word clapan. Clapan, meaning to throb or beat. Yeah, that makes more sense. It's a clapan. Yeah, it's a clapan, referring to the pain of the infection. A less supported theory suggests it refers to an ancient practice of clapping the genitals. This is what I was.

[Adam]

Yeah, that's what I just said. Because it hurts so bad. You gotta.

[Blake]

Yeah, I like that.

[Todd]

Clapping the genitals to relieve the pain from the infection. That makes the most sense. Because, you know when you. When something really hurts.

[Blake]

Yes.

[Adam]

You.

[Todd]

You. Then you, like, try to hurt yourself in another way to.

[Adam]

Right. You call yourself stupid.

[Blake]

Yeah, it's arm stupid.

[Todd]

You try to hurt your feelings.

[Blake]

Yeah, I do recall that, like, you bite your arm if you stub your toe.

[Todd]

Have you. Have you guys ever had a bunch of STDs?

[Blake]

Okay, finally. We're here. We've arrived. Have you guys.

[Adam]

No.

[Blake]

I remember thinking maybe I had one. But it was all good. It was all good.

[Todd]

Yeah. I remember one time I was mostly good.

[Adam]

It was mostly good.

[Todd]

No, I started jizzing, man. I think I told you guys about this. My ejaculate was, like, green.

[Adam]

Adam, we're on and we're recording.

[Todd]

My ejaculate was green. It was like snot. And it was like green and yellow.

[Blake]

Yellow.

[Adam]

Save it.

[Todd]

I remember being like, this is an std. This is a crazy std. I'm looking online to find out what green and yellow.

[Blake]

Like, I've got gak coming out of my dick.

[Todd]

Yeah. Honestly, Nickelodeon gak is shooting out green and yellow, purple. And I went to the doctor, and they're like, this is not an std. This is just.

[Blake]

This is tasty.

[Todd]

An infection you have in your body and it'll pass. And then literally, he's like, the best homework assignment I Ever have gotten. He was like, go home, jack off.

[Blake]

Oh, now that. Now I'm gonna ace that.

[Todd]

He was like, try to get it out of your system. And I'm like, how would I do that? And he's like, you know, jack off as soon as you can. Jack off again and again and again. Try to get it all out your body. And I did just that. And it got. It got up pretty quickly.

[Blake]

Everybody's coming.

[Todd]

Well, I. I mean, you guys know.

[Adam]

I know about the AIDS story.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

And what was it?

[Todd]

Just like a.

[Blake]

He just had an infection. He just had a nerd stuck up in his pee hole.

[Adam]

Yeah. They were like, have you been like fucking nacho cheese by any chance?

[Blake]

This is wild. Are you dipping your dick in food coloring? What the hell is going on here?

[Todd]

So you guys have never just Nickelodeon Gak.

[Blake]

No, no, no.

[Adam]

Thank God.

[Todd]

Or Silly String?

[Adam]

You guys never. I wish. Can you imagine? Could you?

[Blake]

I mean, I could.

[Adam]

That's cool.

[Blake]

Silly.

[Adam]

All right, let me. Let me just set a scenario here.

[Blake]

Okay.

[Adam]

You know, you jizz Silly String.

[Todd]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam]

You're hooking up with somebody for the first time.

[Todd]

Don't tell them.

[Adam]

You have to be like, heads up right before you just silly string me everywhere.

[Blake]

Yeah, that's a great question.

[Adam]

I like this, especially, like in high school. We're like, you're not fucking yet. Okay. It's hand stuff if you're lucky. It's mouth stuff.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

And you're silly stringing it.

[Blake]

Yeah, well, let me. Let me say that.

[Adam]

I'm saying before you're fucking, because that. That you're just inside of somebody.

[Blake]

Let's take this to a real zone.

[Adam]

Oh, sorry.

[Blake]

It's not Silly String.

[Todd]

You're just.

[Blake]

You're just busting. You bust, like, massive loads. Do you give a Silly String. But I'm saying shoots like that.

[Todd]

Let's take it. Okay, Shut up. Let's take it to a real zone.

[Blake]

You're real zone.

[Todd]

You're jizzing. What happened to me? Green and yellow like snot. That's what you're jizzing. Because that's what happened to me. And I was like, well, I can't hook up with anyone for the month that this is happening because this is.

[Blake]

Yeah, that seems cruel. Insane.

[Todd]

And first of all, I was like, I might have a disease, so I.

[Blake]

Gotta go to the doctor.

[Adam]

So that's different.

[Todd]

No, I'm saying if that's what you're. If I was the doctor. And they're like, well, you don't have a disease, but this is what your body's doing now.

[Adam]

Well, this is from here on out here on, you have to be like.

[Blake]

Hey, just a heads up, it's green Easter eggs.

[Adam]

Because guess what? If you do it and the person doesn't say anything, they're going to say someone thing to, like, their fudgeing best friend. You're never going to get a call again.

[Blake]

Gotcha.

[Adam]

Do say something after. They're going to be like, what the fuck is going on here? And then you've got to be like, don't worry. The doctor said it's okay. They're like, no, they didn't know.

[Todd]

Then you just go. You go, oh, you got snot on your face. What'd you do? You snot all over your face.

[Blake]

Anyway, what a gentleman Call what a gentleman.

[Todd]

You're so gross, dude. Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blake]

Okay, well, can we do mine where it's like, you shoot really, really, really large loads? Do you warn. Warn a brother?

[Adam]

That's just real, bro.

[Todd]

That's just cool, dude.

[Adam]

Do you warn a brother, bro? That's what he just said. You want a brother?

[Blake]

It's a T shirt, man. Wait, it's a T shirt. Warner Brothers.

[Todd]

Hang on.

[Adam]

Yeah, I understand that. That's a teacher. But you can also say warn a sister. And I understand that's not the T shirt.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Why.

[Todd]

Why are you talking about this T shirt? Because that's not what we're talking about.

[Blake]

And we're talking about how my mind works, man. It's a pun.

[Todd]

So we're talking about jizzing on something.

[Blake]

And it's a funny pun.

[Adam]

You're not helping yourself.

[Blake]

It's a funny pun, Warner bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Todd]

You immediately talk about jizzing on a broken.

[Adam]

Okay, how much are we talking? How much are we talking? A cup.

[Blake]

I'm saying, like.

[Adam]

No, I don't think you have to.

[Blake]

Yeah, well, a cup is a lot. A cup is.

[Adam]

Well, what are we talking about?

[Todd]

That is a lot. But I'm saying, what if it's just a lot?

[Adam]

It has to be a remarkable amount. It can't just be like a shot.

[Todd]

Well, it's like one of those. Remember when those videos were popular? We're all porno aficionados here. Why'd you make him come when those videos were popular of, like, the fake dick and then it would, like, hose out the crazy amount?

[Adam]

Yeah, I think that was the original clickbait for me.

[Blake]

Yeah, that was. Yeah, yeah, I think I. I know what you're talking.

[Adam]

That's the One where you.

[Todd]

You.

[Adam]

It's this big on the thumbnail. You click it. You're like, what? And then you. Okay.

[Todd]

And you're like, well, I got to.

[Adam]

Watch the whole thing.

[Todd]

Or it's just a fire hose. If it's that amount.

[Blake]

And I'm like, dude, like Warner brother.

[Adam]

But by the way, you said a cup is a lot. That was way more than a cup.

[Blake]

Yeah, no, that was like, a Super Soaker was hooked up to, like, a giant dildo.

[Adam]

So, Blake, what amount are you talking about? That I would preface before blasting.

[Todd]

So, hey, Blake, this is what we're talking about when we make fun of you. It's you. You have no specifics. And then you don't want to hammer down a specific.

[Blake]

Well, it's starting to get uncomfortable.

[Todd]

It's your. This is your bit. This is your thing.

[Adam]

This is ready to explore. I'm ready to bear my soul about this.

[Blake]

No. Okay. A cup. A cup. A cup. I'm saying. Okay, yes, you. You unleash a cup. A. Cups are pretty.

[Adam]

Like, honestly, if it's a. If it's. If it's a cup. If it's a cup, I kind of. That's probably my calling card to, like, let it happen and have them be like, holy shit. I go, yeah, gotcha, bitch. If it's a gallon, you want to get the heads up.

[Blake]

You want to warn about it.

[Adam]

If it's a court. If it's a court, I go. I give a warning. If it's a cup, I kind of go.

[Blake]

Good.

[Adam]

Crazy, right?

[Blake]

Yeah, you like that?

[Todd]

And I feel like your calling card might not get called back because that. No girl likes that.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Adam]

I'm not saying they have to like it.

[Todd]

It.

[Adam]

I just think. I just think that, like, I don't have to explain myself. If it's a cup. If it's a. If it's a quart, I gotta explain myself.

[Blake]

Well, it's science, because you might have even a pint. You. Yeah, you'd have to lay some sort of, like, a tarp down. Or like, you're gonna be like, we're gonna be changing your sheets after this, brother.

[Adam]

Brother.

[Blake]

Well, you definitely. Well, no, I'm just saying it's like, you're gonna have to do laundry. You're gonna have to do laundry.

[Adam]

Huh? My man.

[Blake]

I'll pay for it, dude. I'll pay for your dry cleaning.

[Todd]

Dude, you're killing me.

[Blake]

Dude, don't worry about it. No, but it would. No, it would be an unkind gesture.

[Adam]

And. And they're like, do you like it? And you go, no, sir, I don't like it.

[Blake]

Yeah, no.

[Adam]

Not cool, man.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Adam]

I think I give a warning if it's anything more than a cup, but if it's a cup, I kind of. I shrug and I go, that's. That's what I'm dealing with.

[Blake]

You give the Jordan.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Blake]

You give the Jordan.

[Adam]

I give the Jordan.

[Blake]

Another satisfied customer got, you know.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

And then we talk about it. She goes, holy shit. And I go, that's right, woman.

[Blake]

Cups a lot, dude. Cups a lot. I was the last time you baked cookies.

[Todd]

Yeah, okay. I mean, yeah, okay.

[Blake]

Like, I'm just saying in cup as a unit of measurement, dude, like, it is.

[Todd]

It is a lot. I understand. And by the way, I understand both. Both sides, but a cup is the amount.

[Blake]

Thank you.

[Todd]

Well, you would say if. She's like, I'm gonna take this in my mouth. If she's cool. And she would say. She would. She would do that. That's when you.

[Adam]

I wouldn't. That's when you go, I wouldn't.

[Todd]

Hey, Han, maybe I shoot this over here. And she's like, what are you doing? I could do. And then you. You take it upon yourself to hose it somewhere else.

[Blake]

Because a cup that's kind.

[Todd]

Is too much. That's too much.

[Blake]

A cup is a lot, man.

[Adam]

It deserves a heads up in that scenario.

[Blake]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Bullet.

[Adam]

But if it's just intercourse.

[Todd]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam]

My cup runneth over.

[Blake]

My cup runneth full.

[Todd]

I'm glad we got to the bottom of that.

[Adam]

Yes.

[Todd]

Points.

[Adam]

But if it comes out like Silly String, mandatory heads up.

[Blake]

Yeah, that's fun. But that's fun too. You can actually.

[Adam]

That's shooting a non stop thing.

[Blake]

But is the cleanup as easy? Like, is it solid? Like Silly String where you could kind of just pick it up?

[Adam]

Yeah. You know, you ball it up.

[Todd]

You could ball it up and throw it away.

[Blake]

Oh, that's sick. I love that.

[Todd]

Yes. But also, if that happens, then she's gonna have a lot of follow up questions, like, what STD is this? What did you give me?

[Blake]

Right?

[Todd]

How dare you fucking. What? This is disgusting.

[Adam]

This is where you start to have fun. You go, you can't tell anybody. I'm not from this planet, okay?

[Todd]

I'm from the planet of silly. I'm a person of strength.

[Adam]

Yeah. I go, have you seen E.T. and she goes, yeah. I go, different. Not that different.

[Todd]

Way different. A different kind of alien.

[Adam]

I go, I know those guys.

[Todd]

They're weird.

[Adam]

They're actually a good They're a good time. They're a little weird.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

I'm different.

[Todd]

It's science.

[Adam]

Have you seen Mac and Me? She goes, yes. I go, that's not even real. That's actually, like, that was Hollywood fiction. Can't get into it, but it's. It's. It's offensive.

[Blake]

Mac and Me is so good. When is the last time you guys watched Mac and Me? It is so good.

[Todd]

You know, it might be. I never saw Mac and Me.

[Blake]

Oh, dude, you got to check.

[Todd]

Might be so long. I did never see it.

[Blake]

It's. It might be too late.

[Adam]

I saw it. I saw it in the theater.

[Todd]

My alien is and always will be elf. I'm an elf boy through and through.

[Blake]

Oh, yes. Alfred and alf never got a movie deal, did he? He was only.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Cartoon and a TV show, a sitcom.

[Todd]

I had a. I had a plush ALF doll as a little boy that you would. That you would, like, hug. And it would. It would go like, where's the cats? Or some shit. He was always talking about eating cats, and I'm like, dude, the 80s were a wild time.

[Blake]

Yeah, dude. And was who voiced alf? Because wasn't he kind of like, hey, man, like, go get me a beer or something? Like, wasn't he just a dude?

[Adam]

Okay. Yeah, he was like. He was kind of like the Bronx. He had, like, a little Bronx in him. It was like a Tony. Tony Danz affect.

[Blake]

I love.

[Adam]

I don't know where Tony Danz is from Bronze.

[Todd]

So Brooklyn Todd just threw in the chat that there was a movie. It was called Project alf, and it was a made for TV science fiction comedy film.

[Adam]

That's not a real movie. What was that, like a backdoor pilot? Was that before.

[Todd]

Serves as a sequel to the final episode of alf.

[Adam]

Come on, stop.

[Todd]

So it was a movie?

[Blake]

Project alf. How have I never seen this?

[Adam]

Oh, you know who was in it? Miguel Ferrer.

[Blake]

Who's that again?

[Adam]

From RoboCop.

[Blake]

Oh, okay.

[Todd]

Yeah. Okay.

[Adam]

From blank. From blank check. From blank check.

[Blake]

Okay. Yes.

[Todd]

Martin. Martin Sheen was. Was in it.

[Blake]

Holy shit.

[Todd]

So, yeah, he was a real star. Ed Bagley Jr. He was. He did some big, biggest dick in comedy.

[Blake]

Really?

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Yes. He's supposed to have a huge deck.

[Todd]

Really?

[Adam]

Ed Begley Jr. Ray Walston of Ski Patrol fame.

[Todd]

Okay. Durst knows everyone that no one else knows.

[Blake]

He's. He's got deep cuts.

[Adam]

That's all I got.

[Blake]

I gotta see this movie.

[Todd]

And he knows the size of Ed Begley's dog, which is kind of sick.

[Adam]

It's apparently legendary.

[Todd]

That's cool.

[Blake]

Really? I've never heard that. I only know, is there anyone.

[Todd]

I guess Jon Hamm is known for having just a whole ham in his pants. Yeah.

[Blake]

Hog. He's got a hog.

[Todd]

I answered my own question.

[Adam]

But that was like. That was a picture. Yeah, like, as opposed to legend.

[Todd]

Legendary.

[Adam]

You know what I mean?

[Todd]

Like, Rodney Dangerfield apparently had just a massive.

[Blake]

Yeah, he carried himself like he had a big.

[Adam]

And who was the other guy? The other comedian?

[Todd]

Oh, it was. It was a huge. Like an old. It was like, not Sid Caesar, but, like, did Caesar.

[Adam]

The other guy. The guy. He, like, shows up in peewee's Big Adventure when he sneaks on.

[Blake]

Real big adventure.

[Adam]

Yeah.

[Blake]

This is like a stand up comedian.

[Adam]

Yeah, yeah. Like quintessential super famous.

[Blake]

Bob Hope.

[Adam]

Like Bob Hope. Same level.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

I keep thinking Wilbur, but it's not Wilbur.

[Blake]

Wilford Brimley.

[Adam]

Not Wilford Brimley. Although there's a funny Wilford Brimley story.

[Blake]

What's that? Diabetes?

[Adam]

No, that, like. Oh, Milton Berle, Milton Burrell. I said Wilbur, Milton and Wilbur. Oh, yeah. And then in the SNL movie, what's his name? JK Simmons played him and was like.

[Blake]

Oh.

[Adam]

Literally whipped his dick out in front of Chevy Chase.

[Blake]

That's right. That was my favorite scene. That was really cool.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Who are you?

[Blake]

Yeah, that was rad.

[Adam]

Your dick's not even as big as mine. I'm J.K. simmons.

[Blake]

That was really good.

[Todd]

When. When people say, like, that, like, nowadays is better because of, like, the advances we've made as society. But then you hear stories like that and you're like, is it. Is it.

[Adam]

Is it better?

[Todd]

Is it that you could just pull your dick out and, like, trump a.

[Adam]

Whole room when guys used to just be able to pull their dicks out at each other?

[Blake]

Adam, are you trying to say you wish you could hit the snooze button on all this WOKE stuff?

[Todd]

The snooze button.

[Blake]

Dang.

[Adam]

So I've been hitting snooze, man.

[Blake]

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[Adam]

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[Todd]

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[Blake]

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[Todd]

That's right Blake. Crocs Classic Clogs are a comfortable constant in the chaos you live in. Your boss texted you at 9pm Your dog peed on your sock. You've got 14 missed calls from Spam likely. But your feet? Silent chill. They're like bro, let's touch grass. When you're comfortable in your own shoes. Not just the physical comfort, but being self assured with who you are too powerful things happen. Suddenly you have the confidence to call your dentist back.

[Adam]

Hey Adam, for real, when someone styles a pair of Crocs Classic Clogs, well, it's next level. Drip. Now let's talk Jibbitz Charms. What's the point of wearing classics if you can't have fun with them? Just add Jibbitz Charms. Don't fight it, just try it and feel the magic unfurl. They've got your favorite food, characters and all the things from cool to weird. And you know we love to get weird. Check out crocs.com for more.

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[Blake]

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[Todd]

My wife and I use delivery via Instacart to get everything we need for the week. Diapers for the baby, a check. Protein for me and my muscles, a check. We trust our shopper to find everything we need at home and make sure we have it when we need it. We have demanding jobs. And when you're working all day, you don't have the energy to run out to the store and grab what you need for the next day. That's why Instacart makes life so much easier.

[Adam]

Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app and use code IMPORTANT20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code IMPORTANT20 to get 20 bucks off your first order of 80 dollars or more. Offer valid for a limited time. Excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply. Wait, I gotta talk politics. Oh, gosh, here we go.

[Blake]

Poly charge.

[Adam]

Did you guys see how RFK did like a, like a health challenge to the citizens of America where it's like, can you do a hundred push ups and 50 pull ups in under 5 minutes or under 10 minutes or something?

[Blake]

That seems like a big ask.

[Adam]

Which is hilarious.

[Todd]

Yeah, that's a lot.

[Adam]

Because I'm like, I'm like, how are you like, bro? Like, come on, Pussy gym. Bro Ing challenge to America. When it's like, how about just like walking a mile for a lot of people or like, yeah, eating a vegetable every day?

[Todd]

I like that. That's because that's a hard challenge. Yeah, that is a challenge. That.

[Adam]

And by the way, by the way, rfk, if he's doing it, that's awesome as fuck.

[Blake]

Get on his left.

[Adam]

And maybe we shouldn't hold America's hand like, fucking kid. And we should say, fucking go for it. But, but people are going to die.

[Blake]

Oh, people are going to die. It's going to be.

[Todd]

You know what, Chloe and I, we started to watch that documentary and it was kind of sad of the Biggest Loser. That's on Netflix right now.

[Blake]

Oh, yes. I was going to click on it.

[Adam]

It'S about the show, the Biggest Loser.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Todd]

It's about just like, how, like, most of the people now have gained all the weight back because they were on. Like, they were taking, like, drugs essentially, to get skinny. Like speed, like, speed type drugs.

[Adam]

Your boobs are huge. Hydroxy cut. Remember that?

[Blake]

Oh, yeah.

[Todd]

Like that they were doing. They were doing like that and they were working out like six hours a day.

[Adam]

I couldn't understand how that show worked. Cause I was like, these people have never worked out or haven't worked out in 15, 20 years. And now they're just absolutely crushing it. And I'm like, aren't their muscles sore? Like, aren't their veins exploding? Like, how is this not because we exercise right? And it's like, well, I just ran for an hour. I'm cooked. How are these people doing this?

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Adam]

From 0 to 100.

[Todd]

Yeah, it was. It's truly. It's a truly insane, insane documentary.

[Blake]

And I'm gonna watch that. Yeah, that sounds really cool.

[Adam]

Wait, but the challenge, the thing, the rfk, he goes, I want to challenge fucking Duffy, the Secretary of Transportation. And I'm like, who's Duffy? Is he like a jacked ass politician?

[Blake]

And he is cool name, too.

[Adam]

But then I'm on his Wikipedia page and it's like, you might recognize him from the real world, Boston, and from Road Rules All Stars. And his wife, who had nine of his children, is from the real world, San Francisco, and used to fuck that dude Puck. And I'm like, I'm not hot. Look, fine, fine.

[Blake]

He's got an IMDb brother.

[Adam]

And look, anybody can be in the White House. I get it.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah, that's true. Game on.

[Adam]

But it's so. It's just so strange to me that, like, these are the people. These are the people.

[Todd]

These are the people. I know what.

[Blake]

Welcome to the real world, bitch.

[Todd]

It is kind of cool that Trump's White House. You're. You truly feel like you could also just get in it when, like, other White House. Yeah, other White Houses. You're like, well, you know, I. I didn't go to Harvard. Or I'm not that educated. Or I'm not that educated. I'm really. I flunked out of. I didn't flunk out, but I didn't graduate community college. Like, I probably can't make it in the White House.

[Adam]

Right.

[Todd]

In Trump's White House, I'm like, ah.

[Blake]

I could do that.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Shit, yeah.

[Todd]

I could be Secretary of State, man. You know what I mean?

[Adam]

It's. And like, Look, I'm trying to, like, understand it because. Whatever. I'm sure there's plenty of like, fine, brilliant people who've been on reality shows, right?

[Blake]

I'm trying to think of the smart. Maybe Shark Tank.

[Adam]

There's probably some.

[Todd]

Yeah, there's probably some, but.

[Adam]

But that's different. That's like a guest of an episode. These are like people who are the principal characters on reality shows. And you're usually hired on reality shows if you're mess.

[Todd]

Yeah. You're a little crazy because you're like good television.

[Blake]

Yeah. You're intriguing. You're intriguing personality.

[Adam]

And he was a professional lumberjack, which is.

[Blake]

That's.

[Todd]

That makes me like him a little more.

[Blake]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam]

No, I. I think I would definitely crush some point specials with this guy. He's a Wisconsin guy.

[Blake]

Duffy.

[Todd]

Yeah. Big Duff dog.

[Adam]

But, man, I. It just. I'm like. And we're here, but I guess we have to be in 2024. If the 90s were what they were. Well, you know, what is this different than Reagan? Is this different or is this the same?

[Blake]

I have no idea.

[Adam]

Polychar. Polychar.

[Todd]

This is a polycharge episode.

[Blake]

Let's go.

[Todd]

You know that people are freaking out about those two gym. Not gymnasts. Cheerleaders. Male cheerleaders for the Vikings.

[Blake]

Oh.

[Todd]

And people are losing their shit over these two male cheerleaders.

[Adam]

I don't even know what it is.

[Todd]

They're males, guys. Yeah, but they're.

[Blake]

They're feminine. They're feminine. These aren't like, buff. Like. Like, hold the. Hold the chair. They're like, with the gals.

[Todd]

Yeah, they're wildly.

[Blake]

With blowouts.

[Todd]

It's actually very.

[Blake]

It's rad. It's rad.

[Todd]

It's very funny.

[Adam]

Go ahead, Blake.

[Blake]

No, they're hot.

[Adam]

Are these guys who, like, who. The ones who, like, drop backwards onto.

[Blake]

The ground and like, their legs. Yes.

[Adam]

Fold in half.

[Blake]

The death drop.

[Adam]

Who started the death drop?

[Blake]

I think it's probably from RuPaul.

[Todd]

They're very funny. But then you're like, dude, Ronald Reagan was a true leader. Like, who gives a shit? Thank you. Who fucking cares, man?

[Blake]

So was George W. Bush. George W. Bush was, I think, Ronald Reagan.

[Adam]

Ronald Reagan was kind of everything, right? It's like he was a cheerleader, then he became an actor. But then he was a governor before he became president, so there's like a little bit of something there. But I don't know. Schwarzenegger was a governor. He apparently was pretty good.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Yeah, we love the Schwarzenegger I don't.

[Adam]

I don't understand it, but I guess. Do you guys put reality stars over actors or. This is a.

[Blake]

No, I would say probably in terms of.

[Adam]

I would say probably because if you're an actor, you have a job that you're doing as opposed to a reality show contest.

[Todd]

It depends on the reality.

[Blake]

What reality show, though? Some require. Yeah. Like survival.

[Adam]

Real World or Road Rules Challenge. Real World.

[Blake]

I mean, no, those people, I don't think think require much thinking. Those were just like, you're living with cameras on you.

[Todd]

I mean, who are the famous. Who are the famous people from Real World or Road Rules? The ovon.

[Adam]

Our girl kit. Our girl kit. Theo Vaughn.

[Todd]

Theovon, right.

[Blake]

Damn, I forgot. Theo Vaughn.

[Todd]

The Miz. The Miz.

[Blake]

Yes.

[Adam]

The list is long. The sport.

[Blake]

Look at you.

[Adam]

There's a sports guy.

[Todd]

Well, those are the two guys. I. Because I know those guys. I know them.

[Blake]

That's true.

[Adam]

There's one dude who looks like my homie John, who's like a spider. Sports. He's on, like, ESPN now. They're out there.

[Blake]

They're out there, they're in the world, and they're crushing.

[Todd]

I remember being truly starstruck by Theo the first time I met him, because. But he's a few years older than me. And so when I was 20, starting doing comedy at the improv, he was like 23 or 4, something like that. And at that age, that's a pretty big age gap. You're like. They're like, fully have their. And he had already done Road Rules. And I remember at like 17 or.

[Adam]

18, he was super young.

[Todd]

He was super young.

[Blake]

I remember him being pretty cool.

[Todd]

And I remember being, like, starstruck. Being like, holy. Yeah, he was on Road Rules, dude, this guy has already made it.

[Adam]

I bow to you.

[Todd]

I'm walking the same halls as a.

[Blake]

Guy who did Road Rules.

[Todd]

This is sick.

[Blake]

That's some clout right there.

[Adam]

Yeah. And to my point, and this is why I'm trying not to have a bias. I remember being like, the dude from Road Rules is doing standup. Like, come on. How funny could it be? Yeah, I had that bias then. I have it now. Guys, I'm trying.

[Todd]

You're trying.

[Adam]

I'm trying.

[Todd]

You're an old man.

[Blake]

You're showing.

[Todd]

You have an unironic mustache. You're trying.

[Blake]

Yeah, you really are trying, and we love that.

[Adam]

I don't know what else to do. I got too much real estate above my lips.

[Blake]

I feel like when you. Like when Theo was in the club, when you were like working there and stuff. He was actually kind of like a bad comedian. I think he's gotten funnier. But when he was starting off, I remember being like, oh, this is my.

[Adam]

Bro from Road Roar.

[Todd]

Well, we're all not great, right? When we start off, you start off pretty shitty.

[Blake]

It's a learning curve.

[Todd]

I feel like he find your voice. Yeah, he didn't really find his, I think, you know, and I don't want to speak for him. Everybody has their little stand up journey. But I think he was trying to lean away from his country roots and pretend to be more sophisticated than he was.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Todd]

And then I think when it really clicked for him was like when he grew his mullet out and was like, no, I'm from Louisiana. I'm gonna be right. I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be a swamp Larry the Cable Guy.

[Blake]

I'm gonna be Larry the Cable Guy too.

[Adam]

I mean, I wonder if there was somebody who was like, stop writing jokes and start telling the stories. You tell us about your crazy upbringing because those are solid gold.

[Todd]

Yeah, yeah.

[Blake]

Usually if you speak what you know.

[Todd]

Because he is very funny on his, on his podcast. He's, he's very good at that.

[Blake]

Yeah, some of the that comes out of his mouth is very funny. I like the way he phrases stuff. He's got that backwoods down.

[Adam]

What's your guys butt him? Yeah.

[Blake]

I mean if it depends how much he comes.

[Adam]

I mean, is it a cup? Is it he running? Is he running for president? Has he got net?

[Blake]

I think he's a guy who's right in line with dude, that fucking Stephen.

[Adam]

A. Smith, without a doubt. Somebody that's like in a conversation now for somebody, people are like, would you ever run for president? He's like, I haven't counted it out. And I'm like, count it out.

[Todd]

Count it out.

[Adam]

Please count it out.

[Todd]

Please count it out.

[Adam]

Please just count it out.

[Todd]

God damn. Count it out.

[Adam]

We've counted it out.

[Todd]

Like I'm without a doubt. I want our next president, without a doubt to be counted out. I want to. I want our next president to be a guy we've never heard of, dude, A smart guy that we suddenly start to hear about because he's good at speaking and making his points and telling you what he wants to do. Yeah, but it's, it's once we get in the weeds where it's like, oh, the next president is going to be the Rock or Stephen A. Smith or yeah, what, what the fuck kind of country are we? This is it's bonkers.

[Blake]

Well, but also at this point, point, who the wants to be the president?

[Todd]

That seems like a lot of people. It seems like every lunatic.

[Blake]

Everyone hates you.

[Todd]

Literally every lunatic. Every lunatic out there wants to be the president. You have to be an absolute psychopath to want to be the president.

[Blake]

Oh, I couldn't think of a worse. A worse job.

[Todd]

That just seems like who should be president, guys.

[Blake]

I don't know.

[Todd]

You know who I think would. What a good job would be someone nice, I think.

[Adam]

I know you're going to say, I.

[Todd]

Think being a governor would. Would be very fun.

[Adam]

Yeah, you have your ball, you get.

[Blake]

To tear it up. What's up?

[Todd]

Yeah, you have your state.

[Blake]

Okay.

[Todd]

That's your thing. You just are about your people in Iowa or wherever the fuck. You're the governor.

[Adam]

I mean, but. But then imagine you're the governor of somewhere. And now the president's like, actually, I'm sending hella troops to your state.

[Blake]

I'm a fuck you up.

[Adam]

What's your biggest city? Fuck you.

[Todd]

That would suck.

[Adam]

I'm sending in. I'm sending in Navy seals to shoot anyone who didn't pick up their dog shit.

[Blake]

Yeah, it's a little different now. We're not. We're not quite on the cruise control that we used to be on, but.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Who should be the next president?

[Todd]

See, that's what I'm saying. No one that we've ever heard of. I just said, you don't want it.

[Adam]

To be like your boy Mark Cuban.

[Todd]

Nope.

[Blake]

Big Mark. No, he's a reality show. He's a shark tank.

[Todd]

I don't. I don't want it to be a Mark Cuban.

[Adam]

He's a businessman who joined a reality show. I mean, I. Yeah, I don't. I don't even call when people are like, trump's a fucking reality show guy. I go, well, he was like a businessman who put his face on a reality show. It's just a brand move.

[Todd]

Yeah, but he's a businessman who branded himself as the. As a. He made himself the brand, as opposed to a businessman who works behind the scenes who doesn't want to be famous.

[Adam]

Yes, but I, I'm saying, in contrast to a person who's like, I signed up for a reality show and I was on it, and that's my brand. Was that I'm from the reality show. He already had brand.

[Todd]

Yeah, that's right.

[Adam]

Everyone knew Donald Trump.

[Todd]

Yeah, that's right.

[Adam]

You know, we knew about him from the Little Rascals movie.

[Todd]

Yeah, yeah. Home Alone 2.

[Adam]

Did I say Little Rascals?

[Blake]

SNL. SNL did an episode. Very funny.

[Todd]

Yeah. I don't want to know. I, I, I'm actually so checked out this time around. This, this second, the Trump presidency because people get so riled up on both sides. And I'm just like, I'm sick of being riled, man. I'm done being riled.

[Adam]

I like when people say both sides of the ticket, it.

[Blake]

Ticket? Yeah.

[Todd]

The ticket or the aisle you work in.

[Adam]

You work in politics, aisle's fine. But I like when they say ticket. It's like, what's the ticket? I don't even know if I know what it means when people say both sides of the ticket.

[Todd]

I will say I do like DC though. It is one of my favorite cities. I always have a great time there. Interesting. It's always crazy because you're, I remember last time I was there is me and Isaac were there for something and we're out to dinner and this guy in like this 10 gallon hat came over and he was a senator from like Tennessee or Texas or somewhere where.

[Blake]

They wear a big ass, big hats, big ass hat.

[Todd]

And he told us, he told us the name and he was like, if you're ever in having trouble down in Texas, let us know. And we're like, okay. And then I took, and then I took photos with his like, nieces that he was having dinner with. And I'm like, this is so crazy that you just, if this were Hollywood, that guy would be a producer of Pretty Little Liars or some shit. But here he's this senator of.

[Adam]

I need more context.

[Todd]

Like, what is that?

[Adam]

Like, if it's, what does that mean? Sorry.

[Blake]

Like there's levels the, the ladder of.

[Todd]

No, those are the, those are the people that you run into in Hollywood that would, hey, take a photo. I have, I have clout in this situation. Take photo with my niece.

[Blake]

Right.

[Todd]

We're at a nice restaurant. There you run into actual people that are doing, pulling the levers of society.

[Blake]

Right.

[Adam]

Which is kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blake]

That's where they actually go to get work done. It's the hub.

[Todd]

Yeah, it's great.

[Blake]

I mean, I've only been that one time when we were, when we were youngsters. But I would like to go back.

[Adam]

I think I would love to go, I'll probably go back at some point.

[Todd]

I've been dozens, statues, maybe a dozen or so times. And just from stand up, I've gone like four or five times for standup and that kind of thing.

[Adam]

That's Interesting that you've been there a dozen times.

[Todd]

Yep.

[Adam]

Do you have anything you're hiding?

[Blake]

No.

[Todd]

What? Okay, I'm not hiding anything.

[Adam]

Why would you need to go to the capital of this country where the Pentagon is?

[Todd]

And I just admitted that I ejaculate green jizz. So I don't think I'm hiding anything.

[Adam]

I think that I've gone for. I think what you're doing is you offer up the jizz over here, the shiny objects, so we're not paying attention. Guess what? I'm paying attention.

[Blake]

Thank you. Dirt.

[Todd]

I'm going to a basement of this pizza parlor.

[Adam]

Okay.

[Blake]

I think I know what that's about.

[Adam]

See, I knew it.

[Todd]

You knew it. You got me.

[Adam]

You.

[Todd]

Yeah, so. But I actually. When people like the homeless are. Sorry. Unhoused. Blake.

[Blake]

Thank you.

[Todd]

They're running rampant. They're.

[Adam]

They're.

[Todd]

The bombs are crazy. The bum fights are crazy. I didn't ever really notice it being that bad there. I know the crime is pretty bad. Oh, in D.C. yeah, in D.C. in the Maryland area. Right there.

[Adam]

In or out of the White House. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[Todd]

Okay. But I didn't notice they're being a crazy. Not. I mean, also, we live in la, and I've been to San Francisco. Like, it's. It's honestly much worse. And especially San Francisco. I'm like, what are the.

[Blake]

There's some bad areas.

[Todd]

Yeah. The entire city. What are the. What are they going to do? You know what I mean?

[Adam]

What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

[Blake]

The National Guard.

[Todd]

The troops. The National Guard. They're bringing in the National Guard.

[Adam]

Oh, they're around D.C. now.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah.

[Todd]

They brought them into D.C. because Trump says that they need to clear the streets.

[Blake]

Because.

[Todd]

Because the homeless population has gotten out of control and the crime's out of control.

[Adam]

I'm like, what are.

[Todd]

What are they gonna do, give them brooms?

[Blake]

I don't know.

[Todd]

Yeah, it seems crazy. It's like, what are. What are these guys with guns gonna do to get these people off the streets?

[Adam]

Shoot them?

[Todd]

Yeah. I'm like.

[Blake]

I think it's kind of the same way, like, when. When the Olympics come to town, how they just kind of like, sweep everything out and make your city look all pearly and bright, but it's just a temporary fix.

[Todd]

But then. Yeah, but then it's. They're just. You put them somewhere else to a different city.

[Blake]

Right.

[Todd]

And then they're. That make that city shitty, and then.

[Adam]

You'Re just blowing the leaves to a different part of the lawn.

[Blake]

That's exactly right. Fucking thing sucks.

[Adam]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. TII Nation. We have a question for you. Who do you go to in order to solve your life's problems? The group chat over sharing with strangers. Well, we think you should be seeing an actual clinically trained and licensed therapist. We've talked about it a lot and that's where we've landed. And luckily for you, BetterHelp has been helping people find their match for over 10 years and have a 4.9 rating out of 1.7 million client session reviews.

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[Blake]

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[Todd]

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[Adam]

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[Blake]

We should run guys. We should all be on the same ticket, man.

[Adam]

No one could stop us.

[Blake]

Could we be a three person team?

[Todd]

I absolutely wouldn't want to do that.

[Adam]

Can two people run together or three?

[Todd]

Yeah, it's called a the President or vice President. They do run together.

[Adam]

No, no, no no no no. Are they on the same ticket?

[Blake]

Yeah, we're saying equal.

[Adam]

I'm saying like a three headed. Like a three hander. Can you have a presidential three hander?

[Blake]

That'd be kind of sick.

[Todd]

Yeah, it's like workaholics. But we're the President.

[Blake]

We're the President.

[Adam]

Not like a Joel and Ethan, we're the president now.

[Blake]

Trust us. We know chicks, right?

[Adam]

They swear us, and we put one hand on the Bible, then another one.

[Blake]

And then another one, and then it turns into ch. Tons of hands. Sorry, it's a bit from Chippendale you gotta watch, bro.

[Adam]

Oh, Chippendale Rescue Rangers.

[Blake]

Yes, of course.

[Todd]

Oh, Chip and Dale.

[Adam]

Sorry, coming out of you. I thought it was Chip and Dale.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah, the strippers. Which. Now that we mentioned that, what came first, was it the male strippers or was it the cartoon? What's named after what?

[Todd]

I don't know.

[Adam]

I would say the cartoon. No, because why would you name Chippendales already exist? Why would you name Chip and Dale?

[Todd]

I bet they did that to be a little perverse in the way, like, the Little Mermaid had the dick on the COVID Huge. Huge on the COVID Yeah.

[Adam]

You think? It was just one. It was all different shapes.

[Todd]

Tons of.

[Adam]

Todd, can we slide in here? Cartoon is first.

[Blake]

Donkey cartoon was first sold. And why did Chip and Dale.

[Adam]

Adam. Adam. I like the way your mind works.

[Todd]

Yeah, I mean, they're.

[Adam]

They're dirty.

[Todd]

Oh, Chip and Dale was 1943. Wow. I didn't know that.

[Blake]

But why would those male strippers take that name? That doesn't even make sense.

[Adam]

Because they were perverse.

[Blake]

Chippendales.

[Todd]

Yeah, they're fighting over a nut. There's Chippendale, so.

[Blake]

Oh, okay.

[Todd]

These ladies are going to be fighting.

[Adam]

They do the Chippendales movie. Did. Didn't Kumail do the movie? I gotta watch it. Or a series.

[Todd]

No, it was a. It was a limited series. I watched it. It was pretty good.

[Adam]

Yeah, I gotta watch it.

[Blake]

Do you remember anything? Because I know nothing about Chippendales other than I've been to a few shows.

[Todd]

But Adam Ray, our good friend Adam Ray was in it, and he played a guy on roller skates. He was like the MC of the. The Chippendales.

[Adam]

That's cool.

[Blake]

Hot, hot, hot, hot.

[Todd]

First location. Yeah, it was good.

[Blake]

Had to check it out. I only know about, like, Thunder down under. But, like, Chippendale was kind of the original, right?

[Adam]

Yeah. My kids said thunder down under the other day, out of nowhere.

[Blake]

That's the, like, Australian naked.

[Adam]

And I grabbed him. I said, where'd you hear that? He was like, that's kind of funny. And I go, I don't know what that is, dad.

[Blake]

Dad has no clue what that is. I just don't want you to say me, pal.

[Adam]

And by the way, shout out to all the Thunder down under guys in Vegas. You get free tickets to our show, which we announced.

[Blake]

This is important. Yes. The more the merrier.

[Adam]

Live show in Vegas.

[Todd]

Live show in Vegas. That's gonna be sick. It's gonna be a good gear up for the. The cruise, baby.

[Blake]

I can't wait.

[Adam]

I hope Cruz Jr. Thunder down under. Come on out. Grind on Blake.

[Blake]

That would be really cool. I would be hyped on that. Thunder down under pulls up.

[Todd]

I feel like we gotta have, like some kind of a strip off or something. We're in Vegas, so we have to have. There's. There's got to be some kind of.

[Blake]

There has to be some kind of sexy.

[Todd]

There's gotta be a sexy element.

[Blake]

Maybe fire. Some kind of.

[Adam]

I like it. I'm like, we're in, like, giant dice. They're like, no, we're getting naked.

[Blake]

Let's get naked. Let's have, like, a burlesque show. That'd be kind of cool.

[Adam]

That is not Vegas.

[Todd]

Burlesque shows are kind of weird, right? It's a little weird.

[Adam]

Well, the titties are extra veiny.

[Todd]

Your boobs are huge. No, I've been to a burlesque show that was here in, like, Santa Monica, and it was, by the way, very sexy. These women were absolute athletes. It was very hot and heavy.

[Adam]

Are you talking about like the Pussycat Dolls?

[Blake]

Hello? Remember?

[Adam]

I mean, isn't that where they came from? It was like a dance show.

[Todd]

Yeah. It's just. That's kind of what it was. I forget what it was called, but I remember it was like, pretty early on in Workaholics. It was maybe 2015 or something when I went. And I remember I'm. I'm looking up at this girl and I look so thirsty. I was like. And I'm like, looking up at her like. And they used that photo for all of their promotion for years.

[Adam]

Got them.

[Todd]

And then I would get for. Because I went the one time. And somehow they get my email address or whatever. So I'm constantly getting.

[Blake]

Somehow I signed up for the mailing.

[Todd]

List and bought merch. Somehow I kept. Kept getting. And then it'd be like the photo. The, like, flyer for their. Their performance is me looking at this damn girl. Dude.

[Adam]

It was the worst calling.

[Blake]

Calling all creeps.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Looking. Looking like the comfortably. Come on.

[Todd]

Totally.

[Adam]

We had a burlesque show at, like, our elementary school fundraiser. No, sorry. Preschool fundraiser.

[Blake]

Huh.

[Adam]

When I lived in Silver Lake. Because they're like, we gotta. We gotta do it. Why do they have to. Yeah, they just want to do stuff like that to Be like, we're Silver Lake to just check back in with ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was great. It was fun. It was like some standups. Then this chick came out in her underwear with tassels on her titties and, like, rode a unicycle and, like, did a whole thing to like, Freddie Mercury. I want to ride my bicycle.

[Blake]

This was for a. This was for a third grader.

[Adam]

Like this? No, this is for preschool. Preschool. Fundraiser.

[Todd]

Preschool fundraiser.

[Blake]

Fundraiser.

[Todd]

That seems insane. There's no children there.

[Adam]

No, no. This is the evening thing. Stand ups. A lot of big name standups.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

That are funny. And that's the best. That's like the best part of being in LA is your fundraiser. You can have like professional awesome stand ups.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Titties out and titties out.

[Adam]

Yeah. You can see parties.

[Blake]

This is a sex party. Jon Hamm's there with this huge dong. It's all good. Dude, don't even worry about it.

[Todd]

We're raising.

[Blake]

We're buying books for the kids, sweetheart.

[Adam]

I mean, I guess I'm a square. I was like, why are. Why are we doing. Why this here?

[Todd]

I. I'm with you.

[Blake]

Yeah, no, that seems.

[Todd]

I don't think that's square. I'm like, that's in poor taste. I mean, yeah, just whatever.

[Blake]

Just sell candy bars.

[Adam]

That's why I think about candy bars. I'm with you. It's whatever.

[Todd]

I'm just like, like, we'll just sell some candy bars or whatever.

[Blake]

Come on.

[Todd]

It's. It's whatever. Like, sure, do it. But if I'm putting a fundraiser for children, it's at least got to be. I know this is for the adults to spend money, but it doesn't. There doesn't need to be a sexual nature to it. You. There could just be a band. It could be a party, a band, some. Some comics. There doesn't need to be someone with their titties.

[Adam]

I think there's a little bit of, like. I think there's a little bit of like, look at us. We did it. Does that make sense where, like, we, like, you look around and maybe, by the way, I don't know, maybe 95 or 90% of the room was like, this seems in poor taste, but nobody wanted to say anything because nobody wants to look like us. Queer.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Yeah. Or it's like, look, we can have something that you deem sexual, but it's.

[Todd]

Actually just a performance.

[Blake]

It's not sexual in any way. Exactly. Yeah. Her titties are out.

[Adam]

And so when I get on a unicycle, my dicks out. It's definitely. Definitely not sexual.

[Todd]

It's not sexual. Just because you think it's sexual that her titties are out, you can kind of. You don't paint me with.

[Adam]

Outside of her butthole.

[Blake]

Yes.

[Todd]

I'm sorry.

[Blake]

You can see the butthole. The color starting to change. Yeah.

[Todd]

You can see just the outside part of her butthole. Yes.

[Blake]

He was shooting silly strings of jizz across the room, but it's about how far it was going. It's nothing sexual about it. It's a talent.

[Todd]

It wasn't sexual at all.

[Adam]

So I'm not a square. You guys feel the same way?

[Blake]

Yeah, no, that's.

[Todd]

I do.

[Blake]

I don't.

[Todd]

I do think if it's a. If it's a. For a thing for kids, it shouldn't. It shouldn't be sexual.

[Blake]

Yeah. I don't think you. Yeah, because.

[Todd]

And by the way, if you would have told me this two years ago, before I had a child, I'm like, no, let them see the titties. But now I have a little kid, and there's just nothing sexual about that at all. It's just like a cute, pure, innocent little creature. I'm like, it shouldn't be sexual having anything to do with this.

[Adam]

And again and again, kids weren't there. It was a. It was a. I know, I know, but you could.

[Blake]

You could make so much money for the school if you just went to the strip club and, like, all funds go back to the school. It's just like, that's.

[Todd]

I'm surprised you didn't say it wasn't at Blake's.

[Blake]

Constantly pushing this, like, dude, let's go to Magic City. All proceeds go back into the school.

[Todd]

Let's go to Thunder Down Under. This is Blake pitching. Let's go to Thunder Down Under. We see some dicks waggling and wiggling.

[Blake]

Just all you got to do is Warner Brother, and I'll be there. Come on, let's pull. Up under. Down under, baby.

[Adam]

This for the kids. This is for the kids.

[Todd]

I'm sure there is a school. What is that strip club? That. It's not. They don't take their clothes all the way off.

[Blake]

Like a bikini bar.

[Adam]

That's a lot of, like, bikini bars.

[Todd]

It's a bikini bar, but it's famous. It's. We went to it.

[Blake]

Jumbos Hofbr.

[Todd]

Yeah, Jumbos.

[Blake]

Jumbo's Clown Room.

[Todd]

Jumbo's.

[Blake]

Great bar. Great bar.

[Todd]

Great, great, great, great. But essentially a Strip club. But yeah. Yeah, but it's a bikini.

[Blake]

Not fully nude.

[Todd]

Not fully nude. There for sure. Is a high school or not a high school. A what? Ders just said a fundraiser for school. High school, middle school, elementary school or something. They did that in la. Someone.

[Blake]

I had to have the merch. The merch would be amazing, right?

[Todd]

Could you imagine, like, if they're willing to do. Do a burlesque show? Like, it's a. It's for the high school football team, and all the parents get together, and they're like, hey, we're gonna do it at Jumbos, huh?

[Blake]

We'll make some money, honey.

[Adam]

What do you think, Honey? It's just a bunch of dads.

[Blake]

And by the way, selling me, by the way, for that. Yeah, this is cool.

[Todd]

What's the fact that they were so young. I feel like by the time you get in high school, if it's for the football team or something, and it's just the parents that go, I'm a little more on board with that.

[Adam]

And, Blake, tell me more about this merch. You're like, I can just see it. I can't see it. What is the merch?

[Blake]

Well, you've got the name of the specifics. You've got, like, what. What high school? What football team? But it's like, you know, the Matadors say Hollywood High.

[Adam]

Hollywood High.

[Blake]

Yes. Like, I went to the Patriots Hollywood High fundraiser night at Jumbos, and all I got was this T shirt, and then it's a cool drawing of, like, like, a chick with, like, her butt cheeks and, like, a thong or something.

[Adam]

Right. But that. But. And not. And now in my mind, I'm like, that's not okay.

[Blake]

Why not?

[Todd]

That's cool. It wouldn't be because the.

[Adam]

Because it's outside of the. It's outside of Jumbos now. Like, a kid's wearing that to a. To school now. It's like, I don't know.

[Blake]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[Adam]

See, it's a slippery slope if you're lucky.

[Blake]

Let's keep butt cheeks out of our school. Hey, let's keep the butt cheeks out of school.

[Todd]

Hey, you know what? I was. I was going to make a joke about how Hollywood High can't be the Patriots because they. They. That would be. That would be too hearsay.

[Adam]

I mean, yeah, he's hitting snooze. He's hitting snooze.

[Todd]

That would be too, like, Republican or something for them to be right.

[Adam]

But. But it is.

[Todd]

Yeah, but their mascot are the Sheiks Yeah, that's cool.

[Adam]

What? Dude, you've never seen that huge painting on the side of the school with like, the.

[Todd]

I guess I never noticed. I guess I noticed it. The sheik.

[Blake]

All I ever noticed is like, it's like Lawrence Fishburne. It's sick.

[Todd]

Yeah. Who's gone there?

[Blake]

Yeah, yeah, it has. And then it's like all the alumni on the side. The mural. It's fire.

[Todd]

Well, I don't even. What is a chic. It's just like a Middle Eastern guy that wears a hat.

[Adam]

I couldn't describe it better myself.

[Blake]

Yeah, that's correct. Smart points, brother.

[Adam]

Yes. Point.

[Todd]

Is that your.

[Blake]

Is that your final answer?

[Adam]

Any take back Max or misspeak.

[Todd]

What is a sheik?

[Adam]

Any characterizations or.

[Todd]

Okay. An Arab leader in particular, the chief or head of an Arab tribe, village, or family that wears a hat.

[Adam]

That's sick.

[Blake]

What kind of hat? A big.

[Todd]

By the way, that seems like such an insane thing for Hollywood High School to be the. As their mascot. Their mascot is an Arab leader. Arab tribe.

[Adam]

If you weren't kind of yelling into the microphone. I feel I. I feel like we're having a conversation. I feel like we're having a conversation. But the way that you're raising your voice just enough, you're telling me that you don't approve of it.

[Blake]

You're shooting us off into the manosphere, brother. I love this. No, no, no.

[Todd]

It just. Dude, my not on your school was the Indians. Right. And we changed it out of respect for the Native Americans.

[Adam]

Yeah.

[Todd]

I'm just saying, man.

[Blake]

That was big of you.

[Todd]

I got to get my Arab American.

[Adam]

And now you're the Patriots, right?

[Todd]

My ar. Yes. And we changed it to the Patriots. The As. As the almost worse. I got to get the. My Arab American homies to march down to Hollywood High School and demand that they change it to. To also the Patriots. Because the fact that this hasn't been changed is pretty fucking weird to me.

[Blake]

It is a little concerning.

[Adam]

I know we talked about people running for president.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Adam]

I think this is Adam's platform, brother.

[Blake]

You should run.

[Todd]

I should. I should run it. It was named after the 1921 movie the Chic.

[Adam]

Sure, we're clapping.

[Blake]

So you know what? Let's change it to the Shreks. Let's update it. Let's have it be the Hollywood High Shreks.

[Todd]

Oh, that. Yeah, the Ogres.

[Blake]

Ogres, baby. That is so sick.

[Todd]

That would be sick. I. I'd rep some ogre merch.

[Adam]

But does it change your mind? That it's named after a movie.

[Blake]

I gotta watch the movie, I guess.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Blake]

I don't know.

[Todd]

What's the movie?

[Adam]

Yeah, we got to see this movie.

[Todd]

The.

[Blake]

The Sheik. Yeah, that sounds sick. I'm in.

[Todd]

Any take backs, Any apologies, Any epic, epic slams?

[Adam]

Well, I guess I'll see you guys on the other side of doing a hundred push ups and 50 pull ups.

[Blake]

Absolutely.

[Adam]

Any call outs? I mean, just get your tickets to Vegas and get your tickets for the cruise.

[Todd]

That's right.

[Blake]

Oh, good. Hell yeah. That's going to be a lot of fun.

[Todd]

I realized, guys, that. What? What? November? What? 20th.

[Blake]

Is that the week before Thanksgiving, right?

[Todd]

Yeah, the Vegas date, November 20th. I want to say during F1.

[Blake]

Yes.

[Todd]

November 20th.

[Adam]

It's the weekend before Thanksgiving, whatever that is.

[Todd]

That's going to be a banger.

[Blake]

Thursday, November 20th. Come on down to viva Las Vegas.

[Todd]

Yeah. That's going to be so, so sick. I'm so excited.

[Blake]

We're gonna have a blast.

[Todd]

And then, of course, the cruise. I realized that this is our only live show all year long. So we gotta bang it out, baby. We do got to get a little burlesque with it. I would like to shout out Cozies, which is a brand that sent my wife a bunch of different, like, pajamas for our son. But bow.

[Blake]

And.

[Todd]

And then they addressed it to me, actually. And I open it up, I'm like, oh, it's stuff for Bo. This is nice. This company just sent us a bunch of stuff.

[Adam]

I don't get anything.

[Todd]

I was like, well, they actually sent me like a matching outfit. And I'm like, lame.

[Blake]

Nerds.

[Adam]

Wow, dude.

[Todd]

My wife made me take a photo. I'm like, do not release this in the wild. I look like such a door.

[Adam]

You gotta say that for like Christmas morning.

[Todd]

Yeah. You gotta save it. But it's for. It's like tools. It was like a b. A bunch of tools.

[Blake]

Oh, you don't know how to use those.

[Todd]

So I don't know how to use those. I'm not a real man. So it did make a lot of sense. But yeah, the. The pajamas for my son were awesome. They were great. So big shout out to Cozy's. And inside, they actually sent me a $30 gift card to Chick Fil A.

[Blake]

Okay.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Blake]

For a bucket of breadless nugs.

[Todd]

Yeah. So naked nuggets.

[Adam]

You got got. You got product sent to you from this company and they gave you a random Chick Fil A gift card.

[Todd]

Yes.

[Blake]

Because the rich are getting richer. I love it.

[Todd]

And then inside it said, I Hope you don't run into any more Karen's.

[Blake]

At Chick Fil A.

[Todd]

Get your naked nugs.

[Blake]

Ah, so they're tii nation.

[Todd]

So they're tii nation. So big shout out to cozies. Really appreciate it.

[Adam]

Well, Blake, do you have any kids? Kids?

[Blake]

I have so many.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Adam]

And I have a few kids and they'd love to be cozy. So shout out cozy.

[Todd]

Yeah, maybe cozy.

[Blake]

Hook.

[Todd]

Hook them up as well. I don't. Maybe it's just for babies.

[Adam]

I don't know.

[Todd]

I don't know if it's.

[Blake]

Or just send me a gift certificate to some fast food restaurant. I'm into that.

[Todd]

Nah, we'll tell a better story. And that was another episode of.

[Blake]

Give.

[Todd]

Me a Hell yeah. Remember how Blake kept saying he wants to dudes?

[Blake]

I didn't say that. Running back.

[Adam]

It's like everyone's like, stop picking on him. I'm like, I. I can't. I'm not even.

[Blake]

I can't.

[Adam]

I'm not even.

[Todd]

I can't.

[Adam]

I'm just asking what. Hey, what you just say and why you just say it.

[Blake]

I'm not going to repeat myself. Little Dude Wipes because lil butts make big messes. New lil Dude Wipes, the flushable wipes for kids are gentle enough for little cheeks and strong enough for toddler streaks. You're always watching your kids back, but what about their backside?

[Todd]

That's why there's Little Dude Wipes, the flushable wipe for kids. They're free of chemical binders and alcohol so they get the the safest possible clean. Kids can get stinky.

[Blake]

Pew.

[Todd]

But now you can eliminate that stank with Little Dude Wipes Bubble Bum. The bubble gum scented flushable wet wipe for your little stanker.

[Adam]

Look, even grown men can use them like us.

[Blake]

I'm a man.

[Adam]

I'm a man too. We're wiping our butts up and feeling nice and clean. Plus, they're made with 99% water. Also 100% plant based natural fibers. Available exclusively at Walmart nationwide.

[Todd]

Here's something smart like actually smart. Klarna has an app that helps you get a handle on your spending without giving up the way you shop. It's your smarter everyday spending partner. And once you try it, you'll wonder how you did it any other way.

[Blake]

Klarna brings everything together. Compare prices before you check out. Track your purchases in one place, earn cash back and split up payments with no interest when you pay on time.

[Todd]

That's not a hack.

[Blake]

It's just a smarter way to shop.

[Adam]

Whether you're grabbing essentials, upgrading something at home, or just being intentional with how you spend, Klarna fits into your routine. It's not about buying more, it's about buying better. And let's be honest, that's pretty cool. Download the Klarna app or head to klarna.com to learn more.

[Todd]

California Resident Loans made or arranged pursuant to a California Finance law license NMLS number 1353190 Klarna balance account required. Klarna may get commission limitations. Terms and conditions apply.

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[Blake]

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[Adam]

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[Todd]

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[Blake]

Iheart this is an iheart podcast.