Loading summary
Adam Devine
This is an iHeart podcast.
Blake Anderson
TII Nation. We're sure you've always asking yourselves who are Crocs For I do. There's a reason why Crocs tagline is come as you are. Crocs Classic logs are for people who've transcended opinions and just want to be. There's a self assured swagger you need to bring when you wear them.
Ders
Mm. Crocs Classic clogs are a comfortable constant in the chaos you live in. Your boss texted you at 9pm Your dog peed on your sock. You've got 14 missed calls from Spam likely. But your feet. Silent chill. They're like bro, let's touch grass.
Adam Devine
When you're comfortable in your own shoes, not just the physical comfort, but being self assured with who you are too. Powerful things happen. Suddenly you have the confidence to call your dentist. Check out crocs.com for more. This ad is brought to you by the Spam Brand. Today we have a famous guest in Icon, a legend that always brings the sizzle. It's Spam Brand a crispy on the outside, tender and juicy on the inside. Slice of pork heaven, which was also my college nickname that I gave myself.
Blake Anderson
Oh you dog. Spam Classic is as delicious as it is cool. As flavorful as it is famous. As fun to fry up as it is to wear on a hat. So grab a can of tasty Spam Classic and sizzle it to perfection. Spam Classic sizzle pork and MMM. Learn more and get sizzling@spam.com the revolutionary CeraVe balancing Air Foam Cleanser is a powerful gentle cleanser with a new glycolysine technology that traps oil like a magnet.
Adam Devine
With three essential ceramics, it locks in hydration and brings the balance your skin needs. It provides 8 hour oil control plus 24 hour hydration.
Ders
New CeraVe Balancing Air Foam Cleanser from the number one dermatologist recommended skincare brand, Cerave has a cleanser for every skin type. Find yours.
Adam Devine
Dude Wipes cleans what toilet paper leaves behind in your behind. No more nasty butt crumbs or dingleberries. Our butts stay super clean and shiny here at TII thanks to Dude Wipes.
Ders
You wouldn't clean your muddy car with dry paper towels. So why would you clean your butt with dry toilet paper? There's a reason your mom used to spit wash your face wetter. Just cleans better. So ditch the itch and switch to wet XL Dude Wipes.
Blake Anderson
You know what they say about big hands. They need a big wipe for their bud. Dude Wipes are extra large so your hands stay as confidently clean as your bud. That's a promise. We'll shake on Dude Wipes. Best clean. Pants down. Available at Amazon and major retailers nationwide.
Adam Devine
Welcome to this Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on this Is Important.
Blake Anderson
Most of my jokes are jizz based.
Adam Devine
I'm throwing away anything that isn't the elite Jelly bean.
Ders
Is this a freak off? Let's go.
Adam Devine
Who was that politician? He got. He like derailed his whole entire.
Ders
John Dean. Jimmy Dean, the song.
Adam Devine
Yeah. Something Dean.
Ders
That Harry.
Blake Anderson
Howard Dean Howard. Something with an A. Yeah, yeah.
Ders
Howard Dean Dino.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
You think his friends call him Dino Dino?
Blake Anderson
If they're cool. If. If he's cool.
Adam Devine
Dino the dinosaur.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. You can't do anything if you're a politician. You can't show any real emotion because the second you do, it was crazy. It's. You're memified and. And you're. And you're.
Adam Devine
What was he. I got to go back and look what we so jazzed about.
Ders
That seemed targeted, I think.
Blake Anderson
And then, and then it's all targeted. It's all targeted.
Adam Devine
What was he so hyped about?
Ders
America.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Adam Devine
America.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. He probably is probably our cruise announcement. He heard the cruise announcement was.
Adam Devine
Oh, hell yeah. Okay.
Ders
We tell him Howard Dean will be on the cruise.
Blake Anderson
He was like, yes.
Adam Devine
He's going to do morning announcements. Yeah, yeah.
Blake Anderson
His cruise is important. Yeah.
Adam Devine
You think we could cameo him? I bet he's on cameo. We need to start getting some cameos to read.
Ders
He's going to be hosting the dry T shirt contest.
Adam Devine
Oh, nobody's going to have a drier shirt than me, baby.
Ders
How many yo's are we giving her?
Adam Devine
Yowza, yowza, yowza.
Ders
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very strange. Like in a way where I'm like, are they just going after this dude? Because he's actually going to change the United States of America for the better.
Blake Anderson
I don't remember anything about him or his politics.
Ders
I don't either, except for that thing.
Blake Anderson
The only thing I remember is him.
Ders
Going, yeah, but doesn't that tell you the power of big media?
Blake Anderson
Yeah. We're so poly charged. Out the game, man.
Adam Devine
This is important.
Blake Anderson
Dude, release the files.
Adam Devine
That shit's important.
Blake Anderson
Release one file.
Ders
Which ones?
Blake Anderson
Hey, doesn't matter. We want them released.
Adam Devine
All of them. We want every file released. I want to skim through X Files.
Ders
The release.
Adam Devine
I want. I want the files released. And then I want somebody to tell me what they said because. Going to read no files, bro.
Blake Anderson
We're not going to read.
Adam Devine
No.
Blake Anderson
We're not going to read any files. No.
Adam Devine
Give me the bullet points.
Blake Anderson
We just got done talking to six man, which, yes, we did. I didn't know ex. That was their name, but that's just kind of a six sick name. Six man. They are the production team behind the cruise. And we were tossing some ideas around, kind of getting.
Ders
Yeah, behind. What cruise? What cruise are we talking about?
Blake Anderson
This cruise is important.com where you can get your tickets for a sick cabin.
Adam Devine
I'm telling you what. It was getting me psyched up. I'm already psyched. But that kind of gets me really hyped because it starts to get real in my mind. Yeah, it starts to get really real in my mind.
Ders
Yeah. Zooms get you off.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Adam Devine
You're.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. Were you doing a bit the entire time where you're jerking off because you're so excited, Blake, where you're doing that bit?
Adam Devine
Yeah, yeah, I was doing. I was running that bit class.
Blake Anderson
We all were doing that bit about how excited we.
Adam Devine
We were.
Blake Anderson
Remember how in Workaholics when we would. The multiple times that we were jerking off in that show.
Adam Devine
Every show. Every.
Blake Anderson
That you couldn't just jerk. So this is me jerking off. You can't really tell. I'm sort of jiggling, but you can't really tell.
Adam Devine
It's more in your face, if anything. The way you clench your teeth.
Blake Anderson
No, I go. Slack John.
Adam Devine
I go.
Blake Anderson
No, you. They were like, you have to really sell it. Sell it in the shoulder. So we're. We're jerking off, like, right. Really crazy.
Ders
And weirdly, that's how I do it now.
Adam Devine
Yeah. I. But I learned.
Blake Anderson
Hey, it rubbed off.
Adam Devine
Learn the hard way.
Ders
Yes, points.
Adam Devine
I'm coming.
Ders
Yes points. Give yourself some points for the hard way one. Yes, points.
Adam Devine
And I said I'm coming, so.
Blake Anderson
Yes, points.
Ders
I don't get that one round of.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, round of points.
Ders
I actually don't get what the point is for the coming one.
Adam Devine
Okay. It's a bagel.
Blake Anderson
There we go. And the cruise to go back to the cruise and why we're so excited. What. What makes you most excited about what we're talking about? I know I was. Some stuff we can't talk about, but things we can. So I want Blake to say what he's most.
Adam Devine
Oh, I really like. Well, we're getting to, like, brainstorm ideas, and I really like the idea of kind of getting some Kind of cool customized championship belt for the cruise where we have some sort of party competition where we can crown.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
A party God.
Adam Devine
Party God of the party. Wouldn't you just love to wear that thing around the cruise and have everybody be just bowing to you now or.
Ders
Your neighborhood when you get home?
Blake Anderson
Now, I wonder, like, are we the. Obviously, we're the judges, but part of me is like, hey, cut me loose. I kind of want to win. I kind of want to be the party God.
Ders
Yeah. But it's. This is like, you're a coach now, Adam. You're a coach now.
Blake Anderson
Man, that sucks. I can't play in the game.
Ders
You could do a Bill Russell. You could play a player coach.
Adam Devine
We could maybe put you in a disguise and have people not even know it's you. And you can compete in something.
Blake Anderson
Just a prosthetic nose.
Ders
Yeah. Like, what is the football show with homeboy?
Adam Devine
Huh?
Blake Anderson
Oh, the one with which.
Ders
Which they. I guess I just don't understand. I thought they did it with an actual NFL player who went to, like, the combine or whatever.
Adam Devine
What show is this now?
Ders
And then now they're just doing it again with a guy who's not an NFL player.
Adam Devine
Is this, like, Undercover Boss?
Blake Anderson
But yeah, essentially. I think the story there was. It was a. It was Eli Manning, right? And Eli Manning went on. Was it Eli or. Or it was.
Ders
It was Eli. And then he went to, like, a college. Hey, we're checking out quarterbacks today to see if you guys want to walk on. And he was just, like, being a professional quarterback.
Blake Anderson
And then you. They did something to his face to make him look differently. He just has a cannon.
Adam Devine
So it's like when. When Uncle Drew. Like when Kyrie Irving. Similar makeup and then.
Ders
But I guess I'm asking, like, what is the joke about a guy who's not a professional?
Adam Devine
He's just hot as he takes his nose off, and you're like, oh, yeah.
Ders
Everybody comes right there on the 50 yard line. Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Maybe that's the second episode. He gets a. He gets a nose job and. And suddenly you're. You're just Randy. But it's a fake note. Yeah. What is it?
Ders
And is. It's. It's scripted, right?
Blake Anderson
It is.
Ders
And is it about a guy who's in. Who's playing a. I don't get it. Well, hey, hey, maybe we'll talk about it on the cruise.
Blake Anderson
That's fine. All I know.
Ders
That's all I know.
Blake Anderson
I'm gonna go deep undercover to win this party God championship.
Adam Devine
You gotta make sure. This belt is cool as hell too. Something that somebody can keep forever and have it on their mantle. Yeah.
Ders
We'll send some glue and rhinestones your way.
Blake Anderson
It's gonna be when we went down, like, the games and, like, there's flip cup, there's beer pong, there's. There's belly flop competition. There's all kinds of keg stand. I'm like, this is my dream day. It really is. Like, I love chugging beers with my boys. Yep. With some sort of competition. Baked in.
Adam Devine
Right. I can attest to that.
Blake Anderson
That's. That's my wheelhouse. I love you.
Ders
Died doing that. You're good with that, right?
Blake Anderson
Yeah. That's a good way to go out.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
That is it. I don't play. I. There's not enough. As you get older, there's not enough real competition. Remember how often we would play beer pong or beer dice or some kind of beer drinking game?
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
At the. At the workaholics house when we lived there, it was a damn near every night occurrence.
Adam Devine
It was interesting.
Ders
Adam, you were doing that alone.
Adam Devine
Yeah. It was almost like you were practicing your shots.
Blake Anderson
I just had a bunch of mirrors. Mirrors set up.
Ders
Yeah. Just training.
Adam Devine
It's like, damn. Adam's been playing beer pong by himself.
Ders
For a long time with, like, the side raised up 90 degrees. Just chucking it against himself, I guess.
Blake Anderson
I got a drink. Yeah, it was a. For Forest Gump practicing ping pong.
Adam Devine
You know what? Now that you mentioned that, though, we might want to, like, go train a little bit so we don't get on this cruise and then, like, somebody challenges you to beer pong, and you look like a total dweeb out there.
Blake Anderson
Well, it's not even that. I think I. I'll be good at the beer pong. I just. I've been drinking so much less this last year.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
I mean, it's. It sucks. I hate my life, but.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
So I'm gonna have to gear up, I think, in December of this year. I'm gonna. I'm gonna say, hey, the. The. The wheels are off.
Ders
Yeah.
Adam Devine
Have you warned the family?
Blake Anderson
My body just spasms and I. I tense up and can't. You have to wheel me onto the cruise, but hopefully not.
Ders
Thing sucks. Yeah. On today's podcast, Blake and I are here to give you an intervention that you're not drinking enough.
Adam Devine
Hey. Oh, yeah. Oh, save it for the ship, dude.
Ders
You're. You're just. You're not really carrying your weight as you used to and.
Blake Anderson
Oh, yeah. What Drinking weight.
Adam Devine
Yeah, yeah, we need you to, we need you to drink a little more.
Ders
It's time to right your wrongs.
Blake Anderson
I, yeah, and I, I, I've been, I've been inching back towards it this summer. I kind of, I kind of let it fly a little bit more, more than I have in the past year or so. So this summer. And that's, that's part of the issue that I've been dealing with. I, I gained like 10 pounds. And I was like, I, I was kind of pumped at how lean and mean I was there for a minute.
Ders
You were so mean.
Blake Anderson
You were yelling at me when I get skinny. You're a monster mean dude. Yeah, you're, I'm a vicious. But yeah, so I gained like 10 or 15 pounds. And so I'm trying to lose it in the last like three weeks. I'm like really dialed in the diet. I did all the things. I'm like weighing the food, I'm measuring stuff. But I'm writing.
Ders
You do need an intervention.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Your boobs are huge. I'm writing this movie, which I've told you guys about with this, I can't talk about the movie, but with this legendary writer, director, it's a never ending story.
Ders
It, but it's just, and it's cool that you and Mel Gibson are doing that. Yeah, go ahead.
Blake Anderson
Stuff, guys. The guy's 75 years old, right. So, so it's just me and him riding together. He's super funny, he's super sharp, but he's like, I'm going to supply the, the food for lunch. And I'm like, yeah, but the guy almost exclusively eats quiche. So I have a quiche.
Adam Devine
Like, like egg casserole quiche.
Blake Anderson
Exactly. And so I, I eat it or any other. I eat a quiche every day. So. So five days a week for the last couple weeks, I've been eating quiche. And you know, it's, they're delicious. But I, all of a sudden I'm like looking at my, you know, I weigh in in the morning and I'm like, Jesus Christ. I'm gaining more and more weight. I'm not losing any weight loss. I didn't realize. I looked at the calorie count of these quiche.
Adam Devine
Oh dear.
Blake Anderson
They're 2, 000 calories. Your boobs are huge. I'm eating a day's worth of calories eating quiche with this man. Because it's just cheese, eggs and dairy.
Adam Devine
And is it a pie cr. Is it in a pie crust?
Blake Anderson
It's in a pie crust.
Adam Devine
Yeah. Yeah. Quiches are pretty good. They're like a little bite sized ones you get at Costco. Hello.
Ders
You don't think you can tell this guy you're good on quiche for a little.
Blake Anderson
I think. Well, now that I know. I just thought I was just like. I didn't. I realize that they were this bad for you. I thought I was like half of that. I thought I was eating maybe a thousand calories and then I'm trying to eat good yokesh. Yeah, but it was. It was. I was talking with Isaac the other day, and I'm like, I eat quiche every day. And he's like. And Isaac, for whatever reason, the one thing Isaac knows about is the calorie content of quiche. And he's like, he doesn't know anything about our careers or. Or any executive that he should know, but he knows the calorie content. He's like, holy shit, dude, that's like 2,000 calories. I'm like, no, it's not. And then I looked it up. Sure as hell, it's 2,000 fucking calories that I'm eating. Getting radical, dude.
Adam Devine
Quiche to the dome.
Ders
Yeah, I feel like that's for like obese. Like English ladies, they just smash quiche.
Blake Anderson
But this guy's skinny as hell. He's skinny as hell, but he's 75.
Adam Devine
When you're 75, you're. You start to wither a bit, don't you?
Ders
Yeah, that's all. That's all he's eating all day. That's the meal.
Blake Anderson
I think you're right.
Adam Devine
Have you looked at his ass? Does he have a quiche ass?
Blake Anderson
He doesn't have a key stage. He's. He's just a lean, mean, joke writing machine, this guy.
Adam Devine
Have you seen him nude? Have you seen him?
Blake Anderson
I have.
Ders
No, not yet.
Blake Anderson
I've not.
Ders
Not yet.
Adam Devine
Might unstrap his bell and he's just a dump truck. Folds out.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. Hey, who knows?
Ders
But what do you want to be eating? If you had your druthers. Your druthers, what would you be like? Hey, actually, today, Mel, beef jerky. This is what we're getting.
Blake Anderson
Yes, sir.
Ders
I'll get some.
Blake Anderson
Just something. Something light, just a. A beef lasagna.
Ders
You're like. I was like. You're being Blake Anderson level specific here. Come on.
Blake Anderson
Just something like that. Yeah, just. I don't know. Yeah, just something light like a chicken pot pie with a parmesan crust. I think what you.
Ders
I think what you're learning about is that he eats like a writer and you eat like an actor.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that's.
Ders
Somebody help me.
Blake Anderson
That's exactly right.
Adam Devine
Okay.
Ders
I like that like, writers aren't like eating the chicken cutlets and weighing that. You weigh your food.
Blake Anderson
I do.
Adam Devine
What?
Blake Anderson
I'm trying when I'm dialing it in and I'm trying to.
Adam Devine
What?
Ders
Yeah, I've just never heard just eat less.
Blake Anderson
No, you weigh. So you know the. Exactly the amount.
Ders
Who weighs?
Adam Devine
He does.
Blake Anderson
I do. I weigh the food.
Ders
I. I know, but I'm saying, like, who.
Adam Devine
Where'd you get this from? What Instagram did you stumble upon?
Ders
This sounds so like over the top.
Blake Anderson
No, this is how you become the elite bodybuilding freak show that I am.
Ders
But my point is that you're not. So what are we doing here?
Blake Anderson
Well, I'm not. Because I eat quiche. No, because I eat Keith freak.
Adam Devine
See ya.
Blake Anderson
That's it.
Ders
Let me ask you one question. In the bodybuilding episode of Workaholics.
Blake Anderson
That's right.
Ders
Did you weigh any food to get that bod?
Adam Devine
Well, you was 20.
Blake Anderson
I was 22 years old. However old I was. I guess I was 25.
Ders
I mean, do you. But I just feel like if you just.
Blake Anderson
No, no, no, I was. I would. That was, you know, what, 16 years ago.
Adam Devine
Holy moly.
Blake Anderson
My bot. My metabolism has slowed load to a whole. It's great. It's crazy the amount I work out and how good I eat. I look like a. A man who doesn't do any of that stuff.
Adam Devine
You look like Silly Putty.
Ders
Yeah, there you go again.
Blake Anderson
Fat shaming me.
Ders
No, no, no, no.
Adam Devine
Sorry. I've had a lot of coffee this morning.
Ders
I'm sweating through my shirt. Do you enjoy the process? Do your thing.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I don't. I mean, it's not all the time. It's just when I'm trying to dial it in and. And then I go, okay. And then. And then you can. And then you can eye it. Because you always over eat. You always overeat. When you think like a cup of cereal is a cup of cereal. It's not. You just poured yourself.
Ders
But just don't eat cereal. Obviously cereal is awful for you.
Adam Devine
Good though.
Ders
Well, there's donate cereal.
Blake Anderson
Well, sure. There's a protein cereal that is much, much better.
Ders
Yeah, but just eat protein.
Blake Anderson
What about.
Ders
Aren't you the king of like. Didn't you just eat like, like loose, loose meats? Like cold cuts? Yeah, just.
Blake Anderson
Yes.
Ders
What happened to that?
Blake Anderson
Usually I just will have like. Or just like chicken. I'll just have, like, a chicken breast.
Ders
Yeah, but why do you have to weigh a chicken breast?
Blake Anderson
Because some chicken breasts. So if you're a big old fatty chicken breast, you might.
Ders
Yeah, but worst case scenario, you just ate chicken breast. It's not a big deal.
Blake Anderson
Hey, it must be. Oh, Ders, it must be so nice. I'm just asking this collegiate level metabolism where the only place you gain fat is your titties. It must be so. Your boobs are huge.
Adam Devine
Me, you literally gain weight in the perfect.
Ders
No complaints. Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Gain it in the sexiest. In the sexiest place possible. Dirt.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
And I'm over here, and I'm looking like a bag of old porridge. It's a moldy old porridge that is clumping.
Adam Devine
Hey.
Ders
Yeah.
Adam Devine
Stop talking about my friend like that, man.
Ders
Yeah, I just. It's, like, so anti. And that's why I backed up and I said, if it's your thing, do it. But it's so anthetic way over here.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, it's just because I'm a bodybuilder.
Ders
I'm just saying it's just so antithetical to, like, any healthy perspective about food where it's like you're weighing every ounce as opposed to just, like, going, I think I've had too much. Or, like, great. Like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna work out for an extra half hour today because last night I had two drinks or whatever.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. And that's how I normally am. But when I'm dialing it in, I will measure just so I go, like, okay.
Ders
And at what point do you see that you're.
Adam Devine
When does the dial?
Blake Anderson
No, usually it'll be. It'll just be a few weeks. And then I start to see the. The weights start to go down. And then I go, okay, that's the amount.
Ders
And what are your.
Blake Anderson
Eating this just to drop the 10 pounds that I just fucking put on like, that.
Adam Devine
You look great.
Ders
And I guess what I'm getting to is, like, you're talking about dialing it in. Is there a world where you just have a different lifestyle where it's like, it's not pedal to the metal, having a good time, eating whatever you want and then dialing it in. And it's just like, I'm Adam Devine. I don't drink six nights a week. I drink three. And I eat chicken that I haven't weighed and peanut butter for a late night snack if I want or whatever.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that's. That's how I normally am. But this summer, I went A little. I got a little off the rails. Yeah, I can't stop eating. And then I ate quiche for two weeks straight. And then I got way off the rails.
Ders
Yeah, the quiche, dude, the quiche. And can you. Psych. Can you cycle anymore?
Blake Anderson
I just started to do it again and. But my wife put my peloton in the shed. The.
Ders
She put your peloton where? In the.
Blake Anderson
In the shed, dude, in the shed. And there's no, There's. Yeah, there's stuff stacked in there. It's 112 degrees in there. I'm like, yeah, this is. I can't. I can't work out on this peloton.
Ders
Just get ac.
Adam Devine
Well, not in the.
Blake Anderson
It's in the shed.
Ders
Just get AC on the side there. I put AC in my garage and turned it into a gym slash storage.
Blake Anderson
Oh, everything's so easy for you.
Adam Devine
Come on.
Ders
Didn't have to weigh anything. Jeez, I'm pissed now with your.
Blake Anderson
With your collegiate level metabolism. The only place you gain weight.
Adam Devine
Gorgeous titties.
Blake Anderson
Gorgeous floppy titties.
Adam Devine
Man, you got delicious.
Blake Anderson
Must be nice.
Adam Devine
Delicious.
Ders
Double D. Blake, have you ever weighed food?
Blake Anderson
Your boobs are huge. Well, Blake doesn't eat food.
Adam Devine
1. I do.
Ders
Adam, Adam, I'm asking Blazer.
Adam Devine
Yeah, no, I've never weighed. Come on, man. You know very well I. I've never weighed food.
Blake Anderson
Come on. He doesn't eat.
Adam Devine
I do eat food. I eat a lot of food.
Blake Anderson
And then also he's a natural, lean, lean person. In fact, he prob me should weigh the food, being like I need to.
Adam Devine
Eat more food, right? Dude, I eat a lot of food. I go nuts on food. I go hog wild.
Blake Anderson
Name three things you eat.
Ders
What do you. Do you eat three. Do you eat three meals a day?
Adam Devine
No, I don't eat three meals a day.
Ders
Yeah, I think that that's the number one thing. If you just skip lunch, you're good.
Blake Anderson
Well, that's the best meal. We've covered this, but that's. Lunch is number one.
Adam Devine
Lunch is delicious. I'm. If anything, just eat lunch.
Ders
Are you dialing it in or not?
Adam Devine
Yes.
Ders
Yeah, just eat lunch.
Blake Anderson
That. That's my perfect day, too.
Ders
Great, great, great. Yeah, so just eat lunch.
Blake Anderson
You get to. You get to about 1 o', clock.
Ders
Then you slam a quiche, then you.
Adam Devine
Smash a quiche, then you smash a hardcore quiche. Yeah, I've become quite the midnight snacker. And I hate that. I never was that. I remember when I lived with you, Adam, you would kind of like sneak in the kitchen at night and snack. And I'd be like, I'm a little gremlin. This isn't part of my lifestyle. I have really become a midnight snacker.
Ders
What do we. What are we having?
Blake Anderson
What do we like?
Adam Devine
Dude, it's bad. Like, I like you jelly beans, dude. I'll be like crushing jelly beans at night. That's not good.
Ders
Natural hard body. Natural hard body. Yeah. That's not good. But why do you keep those in the house?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, but did you weigh it? But did you weigh it though?
Adam Devine
No, I didn't know. I do like ten at a time. And it has to be elite flavors.
Blake Anderson
I'm throwing at a time.
Adam Devine
I'm throwing away anything that isn't the elite jelly bean.
Blake Anderson
So you. I mean then you're up the flavor profile of the jelly beans if you're eating 10.
Ders
No, no. I think he means like. No, no.
Adam Devine
Yeah. Yes. Like a yeah session. And then I go back for 10 more.
Ders
I will say that I'm a handful guy though. They go all down the hatch at the same time.
Adam Devine
That is. That is serial. That is serial killer activity.
Blake Anderson
That all checks out, Jelly belly.
Ders
You know I gave them behind 18 doors.
Adam Devine
Oh my God. When you take the Jelly Belly tour, they tell you not to do that. You are supposed to eat them one at a time.
Ders
Hey, guess what? Not my. Not my America.
Adam Devine
Fuck, man. What the fuck?
Blake Anderson
He's a. He's a rule breaker.
Adam Devine
Yeah, right, Harry Dean.
Blake Anderson
He's a rule breaker.
Adam Devine
God damn.
Blake Anderson
You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans? Getting burned by your old wireless bill. While you're planning beach trips, barbecues and three day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back. That's why my family made the switch to Mint Mobile. Say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans. Jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages, Mint Mobile is here to rescue you.
Adam Devine
All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with you and all your existing contacts. Look, I ditched overpriced wireless and got three months of unlimited service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. The quality is amazing and compared to my old provider, the cost is so worth it. Stop paying an arm and a leg for middle wireless service this year.
Ders
Skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get this new customer offer and your three month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com Important that's mintmobile.com Important Upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month Limited time new customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.
Adam Devine
Hey TII Nation, we're sure you've been asking yourself now who are Crocs for? There's a reason why Crocs tagline is Come as you are. Crocs Classic Clogs are for people who've transcended opinions and just want to be. There's a self assured swagger you need to bring when you wear them.
Blake Anderson
That's right, Blake. Crocs Classic Clogs are a comfortable constant in the chaos you live in. Your boss texted you at 9pm Your dog peed on your sock. You've got 14 missed calls from Spam likely. But your feet? Silent chill. They're like bro, let's touch grass when you're comfortable in your own shoes. Not just the physical comfort, but being self assured with who you are too. Powerful things happen. Suddenly you have the confidence to call your dentist back.
Ders
Hey Adam, for real, when someone styles a pair of Crocs Classic Clogs, well, it's next level Drip. Now let's talk Jibbitz Charms. What's the point of wearing classics if you can't have fun with them? Just add Jibbitz Charms. Don't fight it, just try it and feel the magic unfurl. They've got your favorite food, characters and all the things from cool to weird. And you know we love to get weird. Check out crocs.com for more.
Adam Devine
HIMS can't solve snoring or blanket stealing, but when it comes to performance, they've got you covered. Take control of ED with personalized treatments made with proven ingredients prescribed by licensed providers. 100% online through HIMS, you can access.
Ders
Personalized prescription treatment options for ED like hard Mints and SexRx plus Climax Control. If prescribed, Hims offers access to ED treatment options ranging from hard men's to trusted generics that cost 95% less than brand names. If prescribed, you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. HEMS brings expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatments that put your goals first.
Blake Anderson
To get simple online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss and more, visit himss.comthisis that's himss.comthisis for your free online visit hims.comthisis actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information.
Advertisement Voice
Let's be Real life happens. Kids spill, pets shed and accidents are inevitable. Find a sofa that can keep up@washablesofas.com Starting at just $699, our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out so you can say goodbye to stains and hello to worry free living. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabric, they're kid proof, pet friendly and built for everyday life. Plus, changeable fabric covers let you refresh your sofa whenever you want. Neat flexibility. Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa anytime to fit your space, whether it's a growing family room or a cozy apartment. Plus, they're earth friendly and trusted by over 200,000 happy customers. It's time to upgrade to a stress free misproof sofa. Visit washablesofas.com today and save. That's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Ders
I love this cuz you guys know I I generally eat like trash, but when I'm trying to dial it in, I just eat less trash. I don't necessarily like. It doesn't do me any mental favors to like process the grams of protein and all that. You like that?
Blake Anderson
I like the data. Yeah, yeah, I found that I like the data. I like to put it into the the app that my fitness pal.
Ders
I like when you call me data.
Blake Anderson
I like it when you call me big data.
Ders
I got Blake. I got Blake with that one. Yes. Points.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I don't know. I get a kick out of it. I like knowing exactly what I'm eating and looking at it at the end of the day and being like, oh, I either did it or I didn't do it.
Adam Devine
But what do you define as trash? Like, because I know like when Adam is dialed.
Ders
Yeah, anything breaded is trash.
Adam Devine
I love bread, dude.
Ders
No, no. Well I mean like fried breaded. Like chicken sandwiches. Nuggets.
Adam Devine
Like oh, those are good.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that's why you got to go naked. Naked nugs.
Adam Devine
They look like little baby dead koalas. They're gross.
Blake Anderson
They look like baby dead koalas.
Ders
It looked like someone cooked a chicken and then just threw it through a fan.
Blake Anderson
They don't looks like chicken.
Adam Devine
It looks like an embryo. It's nasty, dude. Not into.
Blake Anderson
No it doesn't. It just looks like a grilled nugget. Delicious.
Adam Devine
Have bread. Nuggets have bread.
Blake Anderson
And the macros. We've talked macros before. D is like what the is a macro. Yeah, the macros on these grilled nugs are through the roof.
Adam Devine
Oh, God.
Blake Anderson
Is it real?
Ders
Were you a big lettuce wrap burger guy back in the day?
Adam Devine
I still with that. I like a lettuce wrap burger. At least at.
Ders
I think I would eat more of those if it wasn't such like a greasy mess.
Blake Anderson
You know what I just found out at, you know, at in n out with the. There's the. You could have the. The lett wrapped or whatever for low carb called. Called let. It's called being a style. It's called style goodbye. Which by the way, sometimes I enjoy style. But. But there's also. I love tomatoes. I love tomatoes. What's your favorite kind of tomato? There's a hairloom.
Ders
Okay, good, good.
Blake Anderson
There's a hairloom. Hairloom or beef steak. Tomatoes.
Adam Devine
There you go, baby.
Blake Anderson
But they at in n out. You can have the bun be tomato slices.
Adam Devine
What?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that sounds great. Dude.
Adam Devine
Okay.
Blake Anderson
Allegedly. So the macros, we're getting into macros on the grilled nuggies at chick fil A. Are you ready for this?
Ders
And before you say what they are, what are macros?
Blake Anderson
Macros are.
Ders
I don't give a.
Blake Anderson
Of the fat, carbs, protein. Protein and then calories as well.
Adam Devine
Oh, great. Oh, great.
Blake Anderson
Okay. So the.
Adam Devine
So everything.
Ders
Yeah, I. I don't get it, but go ahead.
Blake Anderson
I. I know we've got.
Ders
What is macros short for?
Blake Anderson
Macronutrients.
Ders
Macro meaning like the big nutrients?
Blake Anderson
Yep.
Adam Devine
You're asking what the word macro means?
Blake Anderson
Headlines.
Ders
So I guess what would the macronutrients would be like the ones that give you your. The main parts of what the nutrients are.
Blake Anderson
Dude, I didn't name it. I don't really know why they would.
Ders
I know, but I'm trying to help maybe even you understand what you're talking about.
Adam Devine
It's science.
Blake Anderson
It's science. This is just what they. They call the macronutrients.
Ders
These are like the main nutrients of what the. The things you're naming are. Got it, I believe.
Blake Anderson
Yes. Crazy. So, okay, let's. Let's guess here for 30 grilled nuggets, what do we think the protein. I'm talking protein intake. They say you're supposed to get 1 gram of protein per body per pound.
Ders
What?
Blake Anderson
And where are we in order to be so jacked and juicy?
Ders
Just jump rope. Just jump rope.
Blake Anderson
I.
Adam Devine
None of this Stuff. I have no clue.
Blake Anderson
It's 98 grams, guys.
Ders
I don't even know.
Adam Devine
I have no clue. None of this stuff.
Blake Anderson
Just 30 grams for 510 calories.
Ders
Just buy weight vest, bro.
Blake Anderson
98 grams of protein. Get real, dude. If I can get real. Where's my meatheads at?
Adam Devine
That. Is that good? That's good.
Blake Anderson
Where my meatheads at?
Ders
Yeah.
Adam Devine
Where's Adam's meat heads.
Blake Anderson
Howl at the moon? Dude, I know you're listening to this in the gym. Just clean jerking it. Just clean jerking.
Ders
Where my polio locos?
Adam Devine
Where's my jelly bellies at? Where my jelly bean heads at?
Ders
Adam, Adam, do you have a. Do you have a rowing machine, Adam?
Blake Anderson
I do. That. That really me up. Up. I really. Yeah.
Ders
Where?
Adam Devine
Okay.
Blake Anderson
My back.
Adam Devine
Back. I knew that. Even I knew that.
Ders
What? In what way? And I'm genuine. I'm genuinely asking.
Blake Anderson
It hurts my back. My back gets very, very tense and tight afterwards. And then I spasm. I tried a few months back.
Ders
Yeah. But if you just do some score. Just do some scorpions afterwards.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. Should just quickly do some scorpions.
Adam Devine
Scorpion.
Ders
You know what I mean?
Adam Devine
What is it? I'm. You guys are talking a different language to me today. What is a scorpion? That sounds cool.
Ders
As. It's where you're on your stomach and your arms are out like a cross, right?
Adam Devine
And I'm listening.
Ders
You take one leg and you cross it over towards the other side. So you're kind of like really opening up your hips. You're on your lower back. No, no, no. You're on your stomach.
Adam Devine
Cross your legs. On your back.
Ders
On your stomach.
Adam Devine
Oh, I mean on your stomach. How do you do that?
Ders
Bend over and I'll show you.
Adam Devine
Oh, God. We need to be in person for this.
Ders
And. Or you could do it on your back and you see.
Adam Devine
And. Or.
Ders
And. Or battle of andor. You could do it on your back and like, just to open up. You just sit with one leg. What are we opening? Opening your hips, sir.
Adam Devine
Okay.
Ders
No, but I'm just thinking of like low impact on your legs stuff that is super duper calorie burning.
Blake Anderson
It's less my legs now. And now the main issues are my back. It's been that way for about a year.
Adam Devine
And you're not a. You're not a yoga bro in any way, right? Because I heard like, yoga is the way to go.
Ders
Or Pilates.
Blake Anderson
Well, that. Yeah, I've done both of that. And I just. I don't like it. Yeah, it just kind of sucks.
Ders
There's no weights to drop. And I understand that.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. I can't scream, stare at myself in the mirror.
Ders
That's what they told me. Can you not.
Blake Anderson
I can't flex into a mirror.
Adam Devine
Why don't you start aggro yoga. That could be like a real avenue for.
Ders
I'm sure broga has to.
Adam Devine
If broga doesn't exist.
Blake Anderson
Oh, bro.
Adam Devine
We gotta do it on the cruise, baby.
Ders
Beer lotties. Adam, do beer lotties. This is all gonna happen on the cruise season. We're doing broga and beer ladies on the cruise. No doubt.
Adam Devine
I'm telling you, instead of yoga balls, giant buzz balls, it would be really fun, guys.
Ders
And what is a yoga ball?
Adam Devine
Yoga ball. That's the thing you sit on.
Blake Anderson
No, that's the, like, bouncy exercise ball. That's not in any way ball.
Adam Devine
Everybody calls that a yoga ball.
Ders
No, there's no yoga position that involves a big ball like that.
Adam Devine
It's called.
Ders
Sure.
Adam Devine
Every position could be done with a yoga ball.
Ders
I mean, yeah, every position could be done with a microwave on your shoulder, but we're not doing it.
Adam Devine
But you want it. That's not the case. All right. It's a yoga ball. If you Google.
Ders
Google yoga ball.
Blake Anderson
No, no, no, no, no. He's right. It's called a yoga ball.
Ders
Thank you.
Adam Devine
Thank you.
Blake Anderson
I didn't know that. I guess, finally.
Adam Devine
Finally.
Blake Anderson
I mean, it's also. I've always Exercise ball, but.
Ders
Yeah. Yeah, but it's called a yoga ball, guys.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that's a brand.
Ders
Pogo ball.
Adam Devine
So you remember those. Hey, do you remember that toy from the 90s where it was like the ball with the. With the ring around it and you would. Oh, that thing was cool. Dude.
Ders
Dude, if you. Come on this is important cruise, you might get a TII branded pogo ball. You might do.
Adam Devine
Pogo balls were sick.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. So let's. We get.
Ders
We.
Blake Anderson
We should ask TII nation.
Adam Devine
Yeah, the nation.
Blake Anderson
We. We need all my meatheads, the arugalords. We need everyone to come out and my little jelly belly jelly belly babies and Der's big, big titted flappers.
Ders
A brosier for anybody.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, a little bros here. You're a monster. We need you to tell us. We're going to give. Every person that is on the cruise will get some. A package of free items.
Ders
Limited edition.
Blake Anderson
Limited edition. We want it to be high quality stuff. You know, we could do a hat or a shirt or jersey or something that'll be in there. But what is something cool like a. Like a. Like a Rolling tray. Should we do that?
Ders
Switchblade or brass knuckles.
Adam Devine
Oh, remember Durs, you had a good idea of mace.
Ders
Yeah. Mace keychain. I don't see how that could go wrong on the cruise.
Adam Devine
Cruise full of mace. That could be fun.
Blake Anderson
And then maybe we special guest, bring out mace and have him do some raps. He does a sermon and maybe he tells us old stories about Diddy, like back in the day.
Ders
It is crazy that before the freak offs.
Adam Devine
I don't know if there was a before.
Ders
Well, I guarantee you it wasn't before. I promise you. He was like, like, he was like, I need to get into the church after this. Yeah. I'm leaving and I'm becoming a reverend because that's the only way to get back.
Adam Devine
That's how bad it was. Otherwise you're going to hell.
Ders
Now. He's been around the world.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. And I. Yeah. Yeah. There had to have been a time.
Adam Devine
When Diddy wasn't freaking where it didn't.
Blake Anderson
Go that far because you, you. It's baby steps, right? It's like they didn't have to.
Ders
Well, it's, you know, starts with babies.
Adam Devine
What the hell?
Blake Anderson
It ends with babies. I think, I think you. You walk down, you don't immediately, like, hey, my girlfriend needs to get railed by 15 male prostitutes that I've hired. And watch it.
Ders
I don't know. I knew something.
Blake Anderson
You start there.
Ders
I remember my buddy in high school went to. He was on the football team and he went to somebody's house, allegedly just watched all these dudes. This chick, oh my goodness, had like down, like, not down syndrome, but like, Jesus. But like. And he was like, he's just like. I don't even know like whose house it was or like where the parents were or what was going down.
Adam Devine
What was he doing there? What the hell?
Blake Anderson
How did. And so you guys are high school, so everyone's just underage.
Ders
We were. This is his freshman year of high school.
Adam Devine
This is terrible.
Blake Anderson
This is.
Ders
And I don't even think. I think that the dark. I think the chick was in her 20s or older.
Blake Anderson
Oh, okie dokie.
Ders
And so I'm just saying there's some crazy out there.
Blake Anderson
Okay.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Ders
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
Adam Devine
I hope you're not just coming up with that off the top of your head, because that's a nightmare scenario.
Ders
I'm not. But what it just reminded me, I was like, this is the craziest thing I remember ever hearing. And I'm saying, I think the reason.
Adam Devine
People just remind you, that's be All I think about, I think Shake.
Ders
That the reason people get to his status is because they did go zero to sixty or a hundred out the chamber. And they're like, well, what else is there out there?
Adam Devine
Yes. I. I didn't understand that argument. Like, you have nowhere to go after that. Like where you can't have regular love or a regular relationship after you experience such an insane upbringing. If that's where your. Your starting line is.
Ders
If that's on the. If that's on the rag.
Adam Devine
Yeah, that's.
Ders
If that's just another Tuesday. If that's just going up on a.
Adam Devine
Tuesday, that's going to take. That's going to. I Love Makonin, which talk about him because we opened for him once.
Ders
That is true.
Blake Anderson
I don't know. Who is that?
Adam Devine
We opened for I Love Mo.
Blake Anderson
What is that?
Adam Devine
Oh, me and D, we DJed at. For the Vandals. Where were they? Where are they? They're not in Washington. Idaho. Vandals. And we opened for I Love Makonin, who has recently gone. And who is he did it's going up on a Tuesday.
Blake Anderson
Oh, that's him.
Ders
Yeah.
Adam Devine
Yes. But he recently went viral because Adam's.
Ders
Still bumping that one for sure.
Adam Devine
No, that's. That still go.
Ders
That's in the rotation.
Adam Devine
It still goes. He's like working in a kitchen now. He's like a chef, but, like in a regular restaurant. And people are kind of giving him heat for that. But I think it's. I think. Whatever, man.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, whatever. You got to make your bills, dude.
Ders
Give a. It could be worse. He could be. Who's the guy who wanted to be a billionaire? That was the song. And now he's going to jail with.
Blake Anderson
His mom, which the song is. I want to be a billionaire with my mom.
Ders
Yeah. Who was that guy?
Blake Anderson
Wow.
Ders
The dude. Who's the guy? He was like the guy who also got in a jet ski accident.
Adam Devine
Oh, it's Sean.
Blake Anderson
Sean Kings.
Ders
Right, Right.
Blake Anderson
I'm pretty sure he was.
Ders
Just got busted.
Adam Devine
Yeah. Great.
Ders
Didn't he do a song? What is. Who's Travy McCoy in there?
Adam Devine
I don't know, Todd.
Ders
That's like gym class hero guy. No, this is the guy who goes, I want to be a billionaire.
Adam Devine
It's Sean Kingston.
Ders
Sean Kingston, I believe, just like got wrapped up in some, like, money laundering with his mom.
Adam Devine
Yeah, he's like a super con artist.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that's a bummer.
Ders
And then the. The lawyers are like, this is because his brain. After the jet ski accident. No, he was Never the same. And then I'm like, that's awesome.
Adam Devine
They're claiming CTE on that or something.
Ders
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Devine
Whoa. That's kind of crazy.
Blake Anderson
Too bad. That is too bad.
Adam Devine
Too bad. But great song, great track.
Ders
He just wanted to be a billionaire, so.
Blake Anderson
I love Makonin Play. Play a little bit of going up on a Tuesday, because I remember when that song came out.
Ders
Great song, great vibe.
Adam Devine
He has a great catalog. Makonan is the dude. I'm a. I am a fan.
Blake Anderson
And you guys opened. I remember when you guys were going through your little DJ phase. That was a wild.
Adam Devine
It was really fun.
Blake Anderson
That was a wild time.
Adam Devine
It was really fun. And we threw out.
Ders
You just fly places. Play. Play music.
Blake Anderson
I wish you guys invited. Invited me out more. I was kind of like, what are you guys doing? They're like, oh, we're DJing.
Ders
I'm like, oh.
Adam Devine
Little side project.
Ders
Yeah. If you ever want to see us play music for 45 people, come on out.
Adam Devine
It's fun. And we threw chips out to the audience. That was pretty cool. There's play. Bad boys, bad boys. What you going to do?
Ders
It was a banger every time.
Blake Anderson
So wait, you guys could only summon 45 people to these clubs? The height of workaholics.
Adam Devine
Well, this was. It was an interesting. It was like on the floor football field, and it was like in the morning, and I think people were taking tests. It was like Student Appreciation Week or some. And.
Ders
Right.
Adam Devine
It was. It was not a good time slot. Okay.
Ders
It was raining.
Adam Devine
It was also raining.
Ders
You're.
Blake Anderson
You guys were outside. You're DJing outside. It's raining and it's the morning.
Ders
It was like a fest for the school vandals, baby.
Blake Anderson
Is that like. How didn't you fire Isaac on the spot?
Ders
Well, hey, because the checks.
Adam Devine
Checks cleared, baby. And we performed our asses off.
Blake Anderson
Well, sure, but I mean, you gotta go. Okay, give me the 8:00pm, you know.
Ders
Oh, yeah. Newsflash, Adam. We opened for Makonin. I feel like you missed the headline here.
Adam Devine
Which. Here we go.
Blake Anderson
And there's only 45 people for Conan.
Adam Devine
Just imagine this.
Ders
He got 60.
Adam Devine
Maybe I should fast forward Tuesday.
Ders
Got your girl in the country club going up.
Adam Devine
Very good. Still goes. And Drake got on the re.
Blake Anderson
Dude, that takes me to a place that really does.
Ders
What is that a time.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, you know, like when certain songs just transport you back to a time in your life. That. That one. That one really does.
Adam Devine
What are you doing? Like, you're in the club.
Blake Anderson
I think Chloe and I just started to. To date and it was. Oh, your wife. It was my wife, not my wife. And it just. Everything was fun, man. Just everything.
Ders
I do love the idea that Adam remembers this time because he was gonna say I love you. And he's like, I love Makonin is my favorite musical artist. Let's. Let's turn it on. And she's like, okay. I thought I was gonna say I love you, but then I love Makona. He is just gonna play some music. Yes, sir.
Adam Devine
Hey, TII nation, we're sure you've been asking yourself now who are Crocs? For there's a reason why CROCS tagline is come as you are. Crocs Classic clogs are for people who've transcended opinions and just want to be. There's a self assured swagger you need to bring when you wear them.
Blake Anderson
That's right, Blake. Crocs Classic clogs are a comfortable constant in the chaos you live in. Your boss texted you at 9pm Your dog peed on your sock. You've got 14 missed calls from spam likely. But your feet, Silent chill. They're like, bro, let's touch grass. When you're comfortable in your own shoes, not just the physical comfort, but being self assured with who you are too powerful things happen. Suddenly you have the confidence to call your dentist back.
Ders
Hey Adam, for real. When someone styles a pair of Crocs Classic clogs, well, it's next level drip. Now let's talk Jibbitz Charms. What's the point of wearing classics if you can't have fun with them? Just add Jibbitz Charms. Don't fight it, just try it and feel the magic unfurl. They've got your favorite food, characters and all the things from cool to weird. And you know we love to get weird. Check out crocs.com for more.
Adam Devine
Hims can't solve snoring or blanket stealing, but when it comes to performance, they've got you covered. Take control of ED with personalized treatments made with proven ingredients prescribed by licensed providers 100% online.
Ders
Through HIMS, you can access personalized prescription treatment options for ED like Hard Mints and SexRx plus Climax Control. If prescribed, HIMS offers access to ED treatment options ranging from hard men's to trusted generics that cost 95% less than brand names. If prescribed, you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. HIMSS brings expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatments that Put your goals first to get.
Blake Anderson
Simple online access to personalized affordable care for ed, hair loss, weight loss and more. Visit himss.com that's himss.com thisis for your free online visit hims.com thisis actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information.
Advertisement Voice
Let's be real Life happens. Kids spill, pets shed and accidents are inevitable. Find a sofa that can keep up@washablesofas.com Starting at just $699, our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out so you can say goodbye to stains and hello to worry free living. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics, they're kid proof, pet friendly and built for everyday life. Plus changeable fabric covers let you refresh your sofa whenever you want. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa anytime to fit your space, whether it's a growing family room or a cozy apartment. Plus, they're earth friendly and trusted by over 200,000 happy customers. It's time to upgrade to a stress free, mess proof sofa. Visit washablesofas.com today and save that's washed. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Blake Anderson
This ad is brought to you by Spam Brand listeners. Today we have a famous guest, an icon, a legend that's guaranteed to always bring the sizzle. You guessed it, it's the Spam Brand. A crispy on the outside, tender and juicy on the inside slice of poor Kevin, which was also my college nickname that I gave to myself.
Adam Devine
I remember that.
Ders
Ah boy, I love me some Spam.
Blake Anderson
So trust your old friend Pork Heaven here when I say Spam Classic is as delicious as it is cool, as flavorful as it is famous, as fun to fry up as it is to wear on a trucker hat which you can purchase@spam.com oh yeah.
Adam Devine
Also you can get a matching fanny pack and a can or two or three of delicious Spam products. Then just slice it or dice it and sizzle it to perfection for your Spam Classic and eggs or Spam Mac and Cheese or however you choose to enjoy it, Spam Classic Sizzle Pork and learn more and get sizzling@spam.com.
Blake Anderson
Remember this girl that I was dating way, way way way way back in the day? Of course I won't say her name because it will be mean, but I talked to her on the phone and I just got off the phone with my parents.
Ders
Oh, yeah.
Blake Anderson
And I just spent all weekend with my parents, like, all week with my parents. And I'm talking to her and. And I said, all right, cool. Well, I'll see you later. I love you.
Ders
And then I hung up.
Blake Anderson
And then I immediately called her back, and I was like, hey, I didn't mean. I didn't mean that.
Ders
Goodbye. You stepped it out. You're like, I've been with my family.
Blake Anderson
My family. And she said, I love you. I thought that was weird. It was the worst. It was the worst case scenario.
Ders
Well, I'll kick this off. Any take backs, Adam?
Blake Anderson
I would like to take that back.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
I mean, that's 20 years ago at this point.
Adam Devine
But, I mean, I think you kind of did the right thing, though. Like, if you let that I love you stand and you didn't love her, like, that completely changes the relationship, as cruel as that was.
Blake Anderson
Yes.
Ders
I imagine you just said, all right, love you. See you later. I think that. That nuts.
Adam Devine
No, he said, I love you. I want to make.
Ders
I think. I think if you just start saying it a bunch around her to other people.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. If I'm just like, all right, all right, later, dude.
Ders
I love you. Like, when you order pizza and a guy. The delivery guy comes, you're like, thank you, dude. Oh, this smells delicious. Love you. See you. Then she goes, okay.
Blake Anderson
And then. And then she's like, oh, you love the pizza guy. And I'm like, oh, I've just been saying that a lot late. I don't know. It's just like. Slips off.
Ders
Did I say that?
Adam Devine
Yeah. That's kind of wild. You know, I didn't think about that, you know, as, like, being older men and, you know, we have our. We have our forever people. You don't ever have to, like, approach that bridge anymore. Like, saying I love you to somebody for the first time. It's kind of a crazy.
Blake Anderson
I never was that big of. I. Because to me, if. If we.
Adam Devine
You just said it. First date, I love you.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. No, I. It wasn't first date, but it never. It just happened naturally. It wasn't like, I'm gonna say it today or something like that, you know.
Adam Devine
Well, what's naturally? Like, right after you.
Ders
Yeah. It doesn't get more natural. It doesn't get more natural when you.
Adam Devine
When are you. When's the natural occurrence, brother? Because I've got.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I don't.
Ders
It's. It's like on a carousel at. At the.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, it's just on a carousel fair Right, right, right.
Adam Devine
That's your I love you moment.
Ders
It has to be on fairground.
Blake Anderson
I, you know, I don't, I don't really know it. I, I remember it not. And I also was never weird with meeting parents. People would be so weird about, like, I'll meet your parents. Parents. You know, I get along with parents.
Adam Devine
Even dads, dude. Dads are scary as.
Ders
No.
Adam Devine
Huh? But did you ever meet a bad pair of parents that didn't like you right out the gate or like, hell.
Blake Anderson
Of like, most of parents. Parents all like me.
Adam Devine
Some parents are really cool. And some like, I remember being in a relationship where like, the dad was like, you had to win him. He was not with you.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
I think because you just look like a dirty hippie. And I think they.
Adam Devine
I'm a nice person.
Ders
I know.
Blake Anderson
I know you are. I know you are. But some dads look at you with the hair and the, and the bad beard and shit, and immediately they're like, dude, not my daughter.
Adam Devine
Immediately disappointed.
Blake Anderson
I don't know my daughter.
Ders
I think, I think dads like that who think they're doing the right thing are doing a favor by being like, oh, this is what you were raised by. This is a total red flag that's going to come out later for you. If a dad is like trying to check you, it's like, okay, how's that going to, how's that going to come to. What's the word out of her?
Blake Anderson
I never really, I never really had that, I think, because I was pretty an unassuming guy and I'm friendly. You are friendly. So I think, I think they're just like, yeah, this guy's. He's fine. I wish he was taller. But, you know, whatever.
Adam Devine
I remember, like, because one of the things I, I must have learned it from my dad or something or. But like, you know how, like you start to be in a relationship with somebody and then you start to call their mom, like in a cute way. You're like, you call her mom, her mom Mom. Like, hey, mom, what's up?
Blake Anderson
No.
Adam Devine
Or like, dad, would you call them?
Ders
Still call her Mrs. I still call her Mrs. Well, I.
Adam Devine
Remember calling Sam's mom mom once and she's like, don't call me. Okay. Okay.
Ders
That's interesting. I've never. I know. Obviously I know what you're talking about. How.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Ders
In laws start doing that. That's never been my thing.
Adam Devine
I thought it was cute.
Blake Anderson
I don't do that. No.
Adam Devine
I thought that was cool to call mom mom and. But it I got G checked. I never do it again.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, yeah, she, she punked your ass.
Adam Devine
She's they you.
Ders
What'd she call you often? Hey, mow the lawn. Hey up. Yeah, go to the adu. Hey, don't you got an ad to be in?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I never really. I think, I think I. We were also pretty fortunate that workaholics happened when we were fairly young, I think if. Because at least I am uneducated. Like I dropped out of community college, I think.
Adam Devine
Right.
Blake Anderson
But then fairly quickly we got workaholics and God, it seemed like my career trajectory was going in the right direction and I was ambitious and, and I wanted to, to, you know, go for further because I think that would have been the red flag for me, right? Where people, because I don't have the hair and the beard. I think the red flag would have been like, oh, he, he's an idiot.
Ders
Right?
Blake Anderson
He dropped out of community college.
Ders
You know, he's doing open mics.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, he's doing, oh yeah, dude, I'm a dumbass. He's doing open mics. And then it, it was a lot of like, you know, sort of. Well, why aren't you that funny around us? And I'm like, yeah, you know. And you're like, well, gosh, it's.
Ders
Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Why aren't you that funny around us?
Blake Anderson
Well, cuz most of my jokes are jizz based and I feel like that's inappropriate.
Adam Devine
I don't know if we're ready for that.
Blake Anderson
But I don't know if we're there yet.
Adam Devine
I will get really hammered. One part.
Blake Anderson
I don't know if we're there yet, Mom.
Adam Devine
Yeah, don't call me that.
Blake Anderson
Ever call me that. Don't say jizz bas and mom within the same sentence ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever.
Adam Devine
Yeah, that's a lot of pressure, man. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm glad we're not having to like convince parents that we're, we're viable mates.
Ders
Every day is a test.
Blake Anderson
Every day I'm happy like to not like some guys like liked the game of, of, of like meeting a new chick and like like approaching her and like liked the game of it. I, I never did. I, I, I, I never did. I. The girl had to have has to be so direct with me in order for me to understand that she's attracted to me. Like there was never me just putting a move. It was like she had to be like, you, I think you are cute. The Way your face scrunches up like that.
Adam Devine
I love you.
Ders
I love you. My parents, I got into, like, the algorithm of, like, some guy. It's called, like, Outgoing Mike or some. And he just is like, you know, got like a glasses, camera or something, and goes into, like, malls, goes straight up to girls and, like, hits on them. And he has the ab. He must be beautiful, because he has the absolute dumbest line I've ever seen in my life. Sometimes it doesn't work, and he just moves on. Sometimes it works, and I'm like, what? He goes. He goes, did you steal that? And they're like, what? He goes, did you steal that? And they're like, what? He's like, all that beauty.
Adam Devine
Right?
Ders
He's in, and he's in, and he's in. And some of these girls, and it makes me just go, oh, whoa. Like, steady how? And they're like. He's like, can I get your number? And they're like, yeah. Boom, boom. And I'm like, what the. If it was, like, decent line where you go, oh, that's actually kind of not. Not even a good line, but, like, a good opener where it's like, and now we can talk.
Blake Anderson
The only time I've ever had, I never had a line. There was no lines to be had. And I mostly just. Just dice in the back with the dudes and never mingling with the girls.
Adam Devine
At all, of course.
Blake Anderson
But the one time I did and it. And it did work is I saw a girl. I finished my beer, threw it across the room at the wall next to her.
Adam Devine
Whoa.
Blake Anderson
And then I said I was like, Stacy or some name, and I'm like, come here. And. And she turns around. It's not. And I knew that, right? And then I go, oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my really good friend Stacy. And she's like, holy shit, that was crazy. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. We have that kind of relationship. And then it worked.
Adam Devine
What? Throwing a cup at her.
Ders
I feel like I also just saw this in, like, a Jake Gyllenhaal movie clip on Instagram.
Adam Devine
Which.
Blake Anderson
Did he do that?
Adam Devine
Which movie?
Ders
He literally goes, hey, Stacy. And she's like, what? And the guy's like, you know, that's Michelle. And he's like, I know it is, but I say, like, you look like this girl I used to date, so she can think I can date someone her level.
Adam Devine
Adam learned all his pickup lines from bubble boy. You didn't know that?
Blake Anderson
Maybe I took maybe. What time? What year? Did that movie come out?
Ders
It's, like, a long time ago. Yeah, yeah, maybe. I don't know what it's from, but I just saw it in my algorithm the other day, and. And, like, the caption that somebody put on it was, like, best move ever. And I'm like, like, psychopath, as we now know.
Blake Anderson
It was a psycho move. And. And it did work. It did work. That was the only time I remember ever having any kind of line and having it work.
Adam Devine
My boy had some juice that night.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I was. I was feeling good. I was like, 11 beers.
Ders
Do you even think throwing the beer.
Blake Anderson
Against a wall was necessary?
Ders
Was that even part of it that wasn't in Bubble Boy? Yeah.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
I don't know know why that. That was part of it.
Adam Devine
You probably learned that from Kyle. Yeah, that's from watching Kyle.
Blake Anderson
You took.
Adam Devine
Yeah, took a few pointers from our boy.
Blake Anderson
Oh, yeah. Kyle. Kyle was a terror back in the day, dude.
Ders
Just back in the day. Come on.
Blake Anderson
Oh, yeah. I remember being at a. At a party at our house with this girl that I've been talking to all night. And then I walk past in Kyle's room, and he's like, come on, sit on my lap. Lap. Sit on my lap. And I'm like, kyle, what are you doing, dude?
Ders
Allegedly. Allegedly freaking see us.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, no, this is the night that we. That we fought.
Ders
Okay?
Blake Anderson
I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, what? What are you doing? And then she gets up and, like, walks away. She's like, ah, this is crazy. And then Kyle swings on me.
Ders
By the way, he probably wet his pants already. Sit on my lap. It's all wet. She's like, I would have actually.
Blake Anderson
Allegedly, Kyle swings on me. He misses because he swung like a lunatic. Like, sounds like a fun part. Like, I think you were there, dude. Brought his hands back here. Swings, misses. Everyone's outside. We're inside. Kyle tried to seduce her on our roommate's bed that you could walk through a room to get to the backyard. And then I climbed up Kyle like a koala and just held on to him as hard as I could with my arms and my legs wrapped around.
Ders
Him so he couldn't. I love you.
Blake Anderson
So he couldn't hit me. Me. And then Kyle jams me up in the corner against the wall so it looks like we're like each other. Yes, sir. And then people start to come back in the party, and they're like, sorry, excuse us. And I'm like, no, we're fighting.
Ders
Is this a freak off we're fighting.
Adam Devine
Like, oh, that's cool. You. You, like, attacked him like he was Andre the Giant.
Blake Anderson
Well, he. I mean, honestly, Kyle, he's a big guy with those big ass hands. And then he was swinging wildly. Lunch pals.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
And you're just sort of just. You know, I don't think I was as drunk as him. And also there was. He cannot box to save his life because you saw those punches coming from a billion miles away.
Adam Devine
Yeah, yeah. I saw him box in a gym once.
Ders
That's a lot of macros.
Adam Devine
Yeah, a lot of macro. He got fist like kich, bro. He hit me with ke.
Ders
I tell you. I tell you.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I've been hitting that. Keesh. Any takebacks, any apologies, any epic slams here.
Adam Devine
Oh, man.
Blake Anderson
I'd like to take back saying that I love you to that girl in the early. The early aughts. Well, I was sa. I was saving it.
Ders
I was saving it.
Blake Anderson
I said I was saving it for later.
Adam Devine
I like that. That's right.
Blake Anderson
I love it.
Ders
Take back. Speaking of macros, I just want to take back all the cheese curds and br. I ate. I was just in Wisconsin this past week. Weekend for a wedding.
Adam Devine
Oh.
Ders
And went bonkers and even got Chicago style pizza in Chicago on the way out.
Blake Anderson
Perfect.
Adam Devine
I love that, dude. So you're cheesed up.
Ders
Yeah. But I was hitting. I was hitting the trails. It was nice to get out there and run in Madison, Wisconsin. Good place.
Adam Devine
I love that. Were you on 6th Street?
Blake Anderson
I love.
Ders
That's. That's Austin.
Blake Anderson
That's Austin.
Ders
You're thinking State Street. I did not actually hit.
Blake Anderson
Fucking pissed, dude. I'm pissed at you, Blake. Bad. Yeah. Madison is one of my favorite college towns. I love it. I love every time I've been there. It's just a really, really fun town in a way that I love. Obviously, I'm a Corn Husker fan. And go, Big Red.
Adam Devine
There he is.
Blake Anderson
We won our first game. Very excited about it.
Ders
Huge.
Blake Anderson
But Lincoln is much less fun than Madison and yeah, we got to do something. You know, it's. It's an uphill battle trying to recruit five star athletes. Go there when they can go to a place like Madison or Rouge or, you know, Happy Valley, you know, Penn State. And they could go to these college towns that are just awesome.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Boulder's also fun as hell. Like, there's a lot of really, really fun.
Ders
They're supposed to be.
Adam Devine
Come on, Lincoln.
Blake Anderson
That's what I miss about doing standup is going to these college towns. And, like, I Never experienced like a four year university and you just get a little taste now I'm an old man, so it might be weird if I'm like, hey, at these bars with a bunch of youths. But, but you know, back in the day.
Ders
Yeah, just a little, just a few on the sides. Yeah.
Adam Devine
Well, I guess I'll just reiterate. Get your freaking cruise tickets now. We just had that, that sick call with six, man. It's going to be very dope. We're going to have lots of, lots of fun on this, dude.
Blake Anderson
I'm excited. I mean the parties that we're planning, we're, we're going to be, be obviously we're doing a bunch of big fun games. We'll be doing the podcast. We got Bobby Lee and Nick Swartzen and Adam Ray and the list goes on and on with, with awesome stand ups. We have musical guests. It's just going to be a party every day. And the fun like theme days that we're gonna have.
Adam Devine
Oh yeah.
Ders
Every night it'll be a different theme.
Blake Anderson
Every night is a different theme. We're not announcing the, the themes quite yet because we're still team under. But it's just gonna be so fucking fun, dude.
Adam Devine
Really? Is is. It really is.
Ders
And by the way, if you just like cruises, just come.
Adam Devine
I've never been on a cruise. I can't wait. I've never been out on that water, baby.
Blake Anderson
It's very fun. It's very fun. It's just a, a absolute throw down party every day.
Ders
It's gonna be great.
Adam Devine
I can't wait.
Ders
And I think we're gonna be doing some broga in the mornings after a night of drinking. A little bit of beer lotties after that.
Blake Anderson
Have your lodging.
Ders
We're going to get it in.
Adam Devine
Let's get it in, fellas.
Blake Anderson
All right. Suicidal.
Adam Devine
That's sad.
Ders
Oh yeah. This was a. Yeah, we could get him on the cruise.
Adam Devine
He's in jail.
Blake Anderson
He's in prison.
Ders
No, like a zoom situation.
Blake Anderson
Oh.
Ders
And zooming in tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
Adam Devine
Let him hear you all the way in prison.
Ders
That'd be good. Or even just his mom. Little dude wipes. Because little butts make big messes. You do anything for your kids, right guys?
Adam Devine
Yeah, absolutely.
Ders
Even more important than that, when they go number two, go with the number one. In clean for little dudes. New little dude wipes. The flushable wipes for kids are gentle enough for little cheeks and strong enough for toddler streaks.
Adam Devine
Oh, gosh, you guys. You know we're always watching our Kids Back.
Blake Anderson
Back.
Ders
Yep, always.
Adam Devine
But what about their back sides?
Blake Anderson
Only when there's poop in it, not like a weird way.
Adam Devine
Yeah, well, that's why there's Little Dude Wipes. The flushable wipe for kids. They're free of chemical binders and alcohol so they get to the safest possible clean. And my little butt could use the clean. Trust me, we got a lot going on these days. And you know, I'm just as stinky as my kids.
Ders
Kids.
Blake Anderson
Kids can get stinky. And so can Blake.
Ders
Totally.
Blake Anderson
You reek, dude. But now you can eliminate that stank with Little Dude Wipes. Bubble Bomb. The bubble gum scented flushable wet wipe for your little stinker. They're made with 99% water and 100% plant based natural fibers. Available exclusively at Walmart nationwide. Stop settling for weak sound. It's time to level up your game and bring the boom. Hit the town with The Ultra Durable LG XBoom Portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go.
Adam Devine
Elevate your listening experience to new heights.
Blake Anderson
Because let's be real, your music deserves it. The future of sound is now with LG XBoom and for a limited time.
Adam Devine
Save 25%@LG.com with code Fall25.
Ders
Bring the Boom XBoom.
Blake Anderson
The revolutionary CeraVe Balancing air foam cleanser is a powerful gentle cleanser with a new glycolysine technology that traps oil like a magnet.
Adam Devine
With three essential ceramides, it locks in hydration and brings the balance your skin needs. It provides 8 hour oil control plus 24 hour hydration.
Ders
New Cerave Balancing air foam cleanser from the number one dermatologist recommended skincare brand Cerave has a cleanser for every skin type. Find yours.
Adam Devine
Oh, you know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul? Yeah, we've been there. Pet parent guilt is real and completely normal.
Ders
That's exactly why Hill's Pets nutrition exists. They understand that being a pet parent means being human. Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible.
Blake Anderson
Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance attention between multiple pets. Hill's pet nutrition gets it because you're only human. There's Hills Science does more. Ready to let go of the guilt? Find the right food@hillspet.com iheart that's hillspet.com.
Ders
Iheart this is an IHEART podcast.
iHeartPodcasts | September 16, 2025
Hosts: Adam Devine, Anders "Ders" Holm, Blake Anderson, Kyle Newacheck
In this episode, the TII crew goes all-in on the chaos and camaraderie that defines their friendship, cycling through topics from competitive drinking games to accidental weight gain and body image, the nutritional dangers of quiche, and college party nostalgia. There’s also plenty of behind-the-scenes talk about the upcoming "This Is Important Cruise," daily eating habits, fitness gripes, and a heavy dose of off-the-cuff humor. If you've ever questioned your own eating routines, how to win at party competitions, or what to do when you accidentally say "I love you" too soon, this one is for you.
“You can't do anything if you're a politician. You can't show any real emotion because the second you do… you're memified.” — Blake (04:13)
“I'll be like crushing jelly beans at night. That's not good.” (24:06)
“I'm throwing away anything that isn't the elite jelly bean.” (24:26)
On political memes and media:
“You can't do anything if you're a politician. You can't show any real emotion because the second you do… you're memified.” – Blake (04:13)
Cruise Party God:
“Wouldn't you just love to wear that [Party God] thing around the cruise and have everybody be just bowing to you now or your neighborhood when you get home?” – Adam (08:25)
Quiche Fiasco:
“They're 2,000 calories... I'm eating a day's worth of calories eating quiche with this man.” – Blake (14:58)
Dieting & Metabolism:
“My metabolism has slowed to a whole—it's crazy the amount I work out and how good I eat. I look like a man who doesn't do any of that stuff.” – Blake (18:10)
Midnight Snacks:
“I'll be like crushing jelly beans at night. That's not good.” – Adam (24:06)
On caloric guilt:
“Hey, it must be so nice... your collegiate level metabolism where the only place you gain fat is your titties. Your boobs are huge.” – Blake (19:27)
Meeting Parents:
“Most of my jokes are jizz based and I feel like that's inappropriate.” – Blake (58:01) “You don’t ever have to, like, approach that bridge anymore. Like, saying I love you to somebody for the first time. It's kind of crazy.” – Adam (54:45)
On exercise and masculinity:
“Why don’t you start aggro yoga. That could be like a real avenue for... If broga doesn’t exist, we gotta do it on the cruise.” – Adam (37:01)
Summary written for easy scanning or deep-dive revisits—no Spam, ads, or wipes included.