Ep 292: You Deliver Babies, I Deliver Pizzas

Summary

Podcast Summary: "This Is Important" – Ep 292: You Deliver Babies, I Deliver Pizzas

Released: March 31, 2026
Hosts: Adam Devine, Anders Holm (Ders), Blake Anderson, Kyle Newacheck

Overview

In this episode, the guys dive into the absurd and the oddly heartfelt, tackling everything from health updates and body modifications to career pride and their favorite St. Patrick's Day stories. The conversation is characteristically loose, fast, and irreverent—with poignant moments and plenty of hard laughs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family Health and Medical Adventures

[05:12–09:45]

• Ders announces his dad received a new lung:

  • “My dad has a new lung. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.” – Blake Anderson [05:12]
  • “He was on the list for only five days. Can you believe it?” – Ders [05:57]

• Hospital process details and recovery:

  • Ders recounts the surgery, explaining the intimidating medical hardware and drugs involved (“They carved through his chest here. Open it up. And then they use, like, a crank…” [08:46]).
  • The theme of "modern medicine is wild" comes up multiple times.

• Funny first words with new lungs:

  • “He goes, ‘That goddamn thing fucking sucked, hell.’ And I’m like, cool, first words back.” – Ders quoting his dad [07:15]

• Ders's experience waking up during surgery as a kid:

  • “I remember I just came to and they were like, very much like, ‘Oh shit, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.’ And quickly put the gas mask back on me.” – Ders [10:42]

2. Plastic Surgery, Weight Loss, and ‘Man Card’ Revocation

[13:20–15:53]

• Abs Implants and Manliness:

  • “Are we revoking, man? Is this the... yeah, make this a weekly bit where we revoke man cards.” – Blake [13:39]
  • They riff on ab implants (“Wouldn’t you love to know? I don’t know. Silicone rubber.” [13:55]) and contemplate the arbitrary ‘man card’ standard.
  • “What if your six pack was a six pack of Budweiser? Now your man card is doubled, and it’s good for a year.” – Adam [14:12]

• GLP-1 'Fat Shots' and Weight Loss Drugs:

  • Blake describes seeing someone lose a ton of weight due to GLP-1 injections like Wegovy.
    • “He goes, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done... every metric that was off before, dick has now bounced back into the green zone.” – Blake [16:31]
  • The group jokes about returning to their high school weights and pokes fun at each other (“Blake would weigh 98... I would go back to a fetal [stage].” – Adam [17:39])

3. Food, Drinking, and Diet Struggles

[18:04–21:02]

• Fast Food Weakness:
  • “Maybe we’d benefit [from GLP-1]. We’re the same in that, like, you can go pretty hardcore for a couple weeks, and then you just drive by a place and you’re like, lemme do a little U-turn here...” – Blake [18:25]
• Alcohol and Personal Vices:
  • “My thing, I think, is alcoholism... when I do drink, I want to have 11 drinks.” – Ders [19:08]

4. Tech Throwbacks: Google Glasses and Meta Shades

[21:00–22:41]

• The gang reminisces about wearing early smart glasses.
• Adam lost his Meta glasses at the Super Bowl, sparking jokes about how uncool Google Glasses looked vs. contemporary smart eyewear.

5. High School Weight & Hairiness: Animal Archetypes and Gay Bar Confusion

[27:18–33:00]

• They compare high school weights and discuss body image transitions (“I was 135 pounds or something.” – Adam [22:35]).
• Anders recalls being called a “California sun bear” (a subset of “bear” in gay culture) at the Hollywood Improv:
  • “They said… ‘you’re like a little bear cub,’ and I just was like, ‘yeah, I guess I’m kinda tiny but, like, ferocious?’” – Ders [30:28]
• This segues into a comedic riff on sports slang and gay innuendo (“Wouldn’t mind letting him steal home plate, you know what I mean?” – Ders [31:28])

6. Sports, Swimming, and Legendary Diarrhea Tales

[34:46–38:47]

• Blake shares swimming team stories from college, including “upping yardage” in practice.
• Diarrhea in the pool:
  • Blake tells a tale of a swimmer pooping himself before a relay, and the legendary status of “swimming through it,” inspiring a mix of awe and disgust (“You’re covered in chlorine, so it’s all good, baby...” – Ders [38:11]).

7. Olympics Envy & Specialization

[41:57–44:50]

• They debate whether any of them could have become Olympians if they dedicated themselves to a niche sport.

  • “Would it be possible, if we started 20 years ago, for any of us to be an Olympian?” – Ders [41:57]
  • Blake and Adam agree: knowing the grind and lack of financial reward, it’s doubtful.

• Olympic sports knowledge drops, from curling to speed skating (Apollo Ohno and Bonnie Blair get name-checked).

8. St. Patrick’s Day Nostalgia & Partying

[52:19–55:14]

• The group remembers wild St. Patty’s Days from their youth, drinking at legendary Irish bars in LA.
• Adam tells the story of calling in drunk to his pizza delivery job:
  • “I called my boss and I told him, yo, I was partaking in St Patrick’s Day and I probably shouldn’t drive today.” [55:14]

9. What’s a “Real” Job?

[56:33–59:15]

• The guys parse the difference between jobs, careers, and self-worth using pizza delivery and UPS as examples:
  • “For me, you say fatherhood, I say pizza delivery.” – Adam [58:48]
• Running joke: pizza deliveries vs. delivering babies (“You deliver babies, I deliver pizza.” – Adam [58:56])

10. Greatest Times of Their Lives

[59:31–64:44]

• They revisit their happiest moments—with bittersweet reminiscence about post-Workaholics season one, the freedom of early adulthood, and phases of professional pride.
  • “After season one of Workaholics... I was like, this is the greatest time of my life.” – Ders [60:44]
  • “Every time [Doobie Brothers’ ‘Listen to the Music’] comes on, I’m instantly transported back to that exact moment…” – Blake [63:42]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On medical modernity: “Modern medicine, dude. Yeah, it’s fucking wild.” – Ders [08:46]
• On body modifications: “Would we consider them dudes?” – Ders [13:32]
• On St. Patrick’s Day work ethic: “I was a delivery driver at BJ’s... I called my boss and told him, yo, I was partaking in St Patrick’s Day and probably shouldn’t drive today.” – Adam [55:14]
• On job satisfaction: “I might have been at my happiest being a pizza delivery driver.” – Adam [58:38]
• On gig vs. career: “I think all drivers matter.” – Blake [57:59]
• On nostalgia: “Every time [that song] comes on, I’m instantly transported back to that exact moment where I was just like, this is it.” – Blake [63:42]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Ders’s Dad Gets a New Lung: [05:12–09:45]
• Surgery and Hospital Stories: [08:46–10:39]
• Plastic Surgery/Abs Implants & ‘Man Card’: [13:20–15:53]
• GLP-1 and Weight Loss: [15:00–17:47]
• High School Weight & Animal Categories: [27:18–33:00]
• Swimming Stories & Poop Tales: [34:46–38:47]
• Olympic Dreams Debate: [41:57–44:50]
• St. Patrick’s Day Memories: [52:19–55:14]
• Real Jobs vs. Career Debate: [56:33–59:15]
• Happiest Times of Their Lives: [59:31–64:44]

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Tone & Style

The banter is rapid-fire, self-deprecating, unfiltered, and always rides the line between confession and comic exaggeration. Behind the jokes, there’s a genuine camaraderie and occasional vulnerability, especially when the hosts open up about family, career anxieties, and growing up.

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Episode’s Most Important Takeaways

• Gratitude for Modern Medicine: The crew marvels at medical technology and the resilience of family (and jokes about possible organ donor backstories).
• Body Image & Wellness Trends: Witty, skeptical takes on American weight loss obsessions, the perils of vanity surgery, and the ever-shifting standard of “manliness.”
• Career Pride: Juxtaposing “gig” work with “careers,” the hosts poke fun but also express real affection for many jobs—emphasizing happiness and pride over social status.
• Nostalgia as Happiness: The hosts agree some of the happiest periods of their lives were in transitional, uncertain moments—working as assistants, waiting for big breaks, or living day-to-day simply having fun with friends.

---

Transcript

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[Ders]

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[Ders]

this Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important today on this Is Important.

[Adam DeVine]

This guy's right lung is a hot dog factory.

[Ders]

If I'm gonna drink, I want to have 11 drinks.

[Blake Anderson]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future.

[Ders]

Let's go.

[Blake Anderson]

And I'm feeling good. That'll wake you up.

[Adam DeVine]

Good.

[Ders]

Good morning.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes, good morning, Adam.

[Blake Anderson]

Fellow muchachos.

[Adam DeVine]

What is up, guys? Welcome back.

[Blake Anderson]

Buenos dias.

[Adam DeVine]

Welcome back, y'. All.

[Ders]

Hey, guys. What's going on with you? What's going on with you?

[Adam DeVine]

Just life in the fast lane, brother. You know how.

[Blake Anderson]

Thank you for asking. I never know when you're joking, but this feels genuine.

[Adam DeVine]

It does. It feels very real.

[Ders]

My dad.

[Blake Anderson]

I have things I want to unpack.

[Adam DeVine]

Wait.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, let's unpack that.

[Adam DeVine]

Endorse. If you could shut up for a second.

[Blake Anderson]

Adam would like to go first. Hey, how are you guys?

[Ders]

Well, you guys didn't say anything. I asked how you were and then you said, wow, this feels genuine. This feels genuine.

[Blake Anderson]

I couldn't find a parking spot. The other. My dad has a new lung. Shut the up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ders]

Sorry. Sorry, guys. A pretty big thing to talk about.

[Blake Anderson]

It is, but can we move on? It's not funny.

[Adam DeVine]

Can we talk about the parking spot for a second.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, yeah.

[Ders]

No, no, no, no. Let's talk about the parking spot.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. So parallel parking, super high curb. I park so good. And then my kid goes, daddy, I can't open my door. And I go, why don't you climb out the window?

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, that's right. Wow.

[Blake Anderson]

So your d. New lung, huh?

[Ders]

Did you really did it climb out the window?

[Adam DeVine]

That would have been sick if your

[Blake Anderson]

dad actually got a new lung then. Yeah, he did climb out the window.

[Adam DeVine]

He did that really happ. He did.

[Ders]

He did.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, then. Same new lung.

[Ders]

He was. He was on the list for only five days. Can you believe it?

[Blake Anderson]

Can I tell you something?

[Ders]

I made it happen.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, there you go, Ders.

[Ders]

I found a guy. Ders. Pulled some string.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. I mean, that's got to be a movie, right? Where someone's on the waiting list or something, and someone's like, what?

[Adam DeVine]

John Q.

[Blake Anderson]

Go ahead, John Q. Tell me more. Tell me more.

[Adam DeVine]

That's what it's about. It's about. Well, they refuse to get his son, like, a new body part, so he takes the hospital hostage. Denzel Washington. It's really good.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, so the movie I'm talking about, yours is a.

[Adam DeVine]

More of a romp.

[Blake Anderson]

Is somebody who goes around asking what blood type people are and then kills them in his leg.

[Adam DeVine]

Look, look, look.

[Blake Anderson]

This guy got. He got lung. He got lung.

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Get it, get it, get it, get

[Blake Anderson]

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[Adam DeVine]

I like that.

[Ders]

We. We need that when we.

[Adam DeVine]

He's dying.

[Blake Anderson]

He's dying. He's dead.

[Ders]

Yeah. My dad, he has the. The. The. The. I think it's O negative or O positive. The one that is very easily. Like, you can get lungs super easy, that blood type. So it was. It was pretty. It was pretty.

[Blake Anderson]

It was just lungs for whatever.

[Ders]

Yeah, it was lungs for days, dude. But my dad did say a funny thing when they pulled, because they have a breathing tube down your throat, right. And it has to stay there for a day or two.

[Adam DeVine]

So. Sure.

[Ders]

And when he pulled it out, he

[Adam DeVine]

let him do that.

[Ders]

He said is. He goes, that gourd fucking sucked, hell. And I'm like, cool, cool. First words back.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were teeing up, like, a real clever thing, but he was just kind of saying something. Matter of fact, that's.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Ders]

Oh, yeah. Well, Dennis, it's not going to be clever. It's just going to be fucking matter of fact.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

How deep down do they put that tube? How deep does it go?

[Blake Anderson]

Bend over and I'll show you.

[Ders]

I think he goes all the way into his lungs, obviously.

[Adam DeVine]

Holy. What a. How long was this surgery? Should we get into the details? Should we get in the nitty gritty? What's. Walk us through it. Did you hold his hand?

[Ders]

I mean, I think it was like, six hours. Six hour surgery.

[Adam DeVine]

God damn.

[Blake Anderson]

That's too long.

[Ders]

It was very long. He was having back spasms. I'm like, welcome to my world.

[Blake Anderson]

And during it. But he's under and he's.

[Ders]

He's back afterwards. No, afterwards, because. Because it can torture in all kinds of weird ways. Yeah, and then. Yeah, and then he was in a lot of pain for a day, but then the next day he goes, I'm not in any pain. And then they go, well, we are giving you stuff for it. And I'm like, oh, like dilatin or like, some, like, real pain medicine? And they go, no, we're giving them gabapentin, which is the. That I take for my nerve pain. And I'm like, oh, it must. It must be so much gabapentin. And I'm on 900 milligrams three times a day.

[Blake Anderson]

We can talk.

[Adam DeVine]

Really?

[Ders]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Hit him.

[Ders]

And he's on 100 milligrams twice a day. And I'm like, oh.

[Blake Anderson]

And I'm feeling.

[Ders]

I'm a Gotcha. I'm a bitch. But it is truly crazy. He's up and walking already. Modern. Modern medicine, dude. Yeah, it's fucking wild. They opened up. They carved through his chest here. Open it up. And then they use, like, a crank where they just. And the chest goes.

[Adam DeVine]

The chest cavity.

[Ders]

The chest cavity and open. And then they just get in there. Freaking.

[Blake Anderson]

I feel like I saw that on the famous episode of Tales from the Crypt where the guy goes into surgery, but he. Somebody gives him, like, a serum that makes him a lot, like, awake and feel all the pain, but can't.

[Adam DeVine]

Right? Yes. Yes. It's a great fear.

[Blake Anderson]

Remember this one?

[Adam DeVine]

Yes. It's a big fear of some people to be, like, put under, but you're still awake, so you can. You can't feel it, but you know that it's. Or is it that you can feel it, but you can't say anything?

[Ders]

I have had that happen.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, Adam.

[Adam DeVine]

Right. Right.

[Ders]

I have had that happen because I've had.

[Blake Anderson]

You've said a few things that I want to circle back to. Like, your dad had back spasms, and you're like, welcome to my world. That's life. It's just amazing.

[Adam DeVine]

After they just.

[Blake Anderson]

And then also that you think you're a bitch for taking maybe too much medicine. Yeah, I think maybe over prescribed is. It's not that you're a bitch. I think maybe too much.

[Adam DeVine]

Not your fault.

[Ders]

Well, then when I. I've tried to take less, and then the spasms come back, so I just take a ton of it.

[Adam DeVine]

Good call, Good call.

[Blake Anderson]

Welcome to your own world.

[Ders]

You're welcome to my world. But what did I just say? That you were like, oh, we want to circle back to this.

[Blake Anderson]

I already circled back to both of them.

[Ders]

Oh, okay.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. So awesome, dude. Nice. Nice.

[Ders]

Yeah, so it's sick, but so your.

[Blake Anderson]

Your dad. That's the. The we. And then we went into the.

[Ders]

Oh, no.

[Blake Anderson]

What happened was Tales from the Crypt.

[Adam DeVine]

But your dad go, yes.

[Ders]

No, I woke up during his. Before.

[Blake Anderson]

You have.

[Ders]

Oh, yeah. And as a bit.

[Blake Anderson]

As a bit, you did it. You're like.

[Ders]

Yeah, it was just like this. This will be funny.

[Blake Anderson]

Surprise.

[Ders]

It was on my legs. I remember I just came to and they were like, very much like, oh,

[Blake Anderson]

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ders]

And quickly put the gas mask back on me and I'll.

[Blake Anderson]

Right. Did you, like, tell me more. Tell me more.

[Adam DeVine]

Like, did you shoot awake or was it kind of like, what are you guys doing to my legs?

[Ders]

No, it was groggy. And I remember just. And I didn't feel anything, but I could, like, see them down there whipping and nae naying on my legs.

[Adam DeVine]

Sure, they were the doctors.

[Blake Anderson]

He caught us whipping again.

[Adam DeVine]

You caught your surgeons making a tick tock.

[Ders]

Yeah, well, it was before tick tock. So they were just dancing? They were just biting out?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, it was before whipping and nae nang.

[Ders]

That's before even there was a term for it.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I mean, that's got to be why surgeries take so long, right? Because if they're really going at it, these things shouldn't take longer than two hours, right? Like six hours. What the are you doing for six hours?

[Blake Anderson]

You think they're busy dancing?

[Ders]

Well, I mean, for sure after an hour. So you're getting kind of bored. You want sandwich, you want to snack, you want to. And. And also, you're hunched over this body. You're. You're tensing up. You. You got to. You got to stretch it out. And also, what's going on on Instagram? You haven't checked that in an hour.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Exactly.

[Adam DeVine]

Thank you.

[Blake Anderson]

You have someone, like, hold it up, though, right?

[Ders]

Yeah, yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Scratch my nose. Swipe up.

[Ders]

Because you got to see reels. You got to see what the algorithm's pushing you. Absolutely. And then it's also kind of fun to see other doctors and, what, their algorithms pushing them. And you're like, oh, I never. I actually don't get that in my feed. That's kind of fun.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. Right?

[Blake Anderson]

You know, that is interesting.

[Adam DeVine]

Or, like, check a dating app. Of course. You got to be on the dating apps.

[Blake Anderson]

Sure. You just tell them, swipe left, slip left. Exactly right. What do you guys think? Should I. Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Should I throw it?

[Blake Anderson]

Okay. Good call.

[Ders]

Yeah. So that was. That was the. That was the big news over here. It's just.

[Blake Anderson]

And then he didn't wake up with anything in his body, like pliers that they forgot or, like, a half. Half a hot dog bun.

[Ders]

They've yet to find it. They've yet to find it.

[Adam DeVine]

They're like, holy, this guy's got a belly full of hot dogs.

[Ders]

He's got a lung full of hot dogs.

[Blake Anderson]

So we were able to do the hot dog surgery. And, like, you mean the lungs?

[Ders]

You mean the right lung?

[Blake Anderson]

I'll be.

[Ders]

I'm right back. The cause of diarrhea.

[Adam DeVine]

This guy's right lung is a hot dog factory.

[Ders]

Hot dog.

[Blake Anderson]

And while they're in there, they ties tubes. You know how you can get, like, another surgery while.

[Ders]

Oh, yeah, while you're under there. Like, we could also.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. They do any lipo. Any, like, abs.

[Ders]

How hilarious would it be if they gave him, like, a full facelift? He comes out, and Dennis. Dennis. D's just like.

[Blake Anderson]

And dudes are getting the ab. The ab implants now, know.

[Adam DeVine]

What's that about?

[Blake Anderson]

Like, they have, like, a fat belly, but you can see, like, the ab outline.

[Ders]

But are dudes getting that?

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, sure.

[Ders]

Yeah. Would we consider them dudes?

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, dude, great question. Okay.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm a man, brother.

[Blake Anderson]

Are we revoking, man? Is this the. Yeah, make this a weekly bit where we revoke man cards.

[Ders]

Do you think you're a dude if you're getting ab implants?

[Adam DeVine]

Well, first off, what do they put in there to make the abs? That's gonna kind of.

[Blake Anderson]

Wouldn't you love to know? Wouldn't you like to know? I don't know. Silicone rubber.

[Ders]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, you know, man card gone.

[Ders]

Man gone, revoked.

[Blake Anderson]

Hey, but what if it was mahogany? All right, what do we do now? We're talking.

[Ders]

No, I. I actually kind of. Dude, I actually kind of like this bit.

[Adam DeVine]

What if your six pack was a six pack of Budweiser? Now your man card is doubled, and it's good for a year.

[Ders]

You're getting stamped, and then Atiba could just press Put a thumb on your belly and just shotgun me.

[Blake Anderson]

Shotgun your belly button. He's just like. And then he drinks beer out of your. Dude, I don't know where he drinks beer out. I don't know where he drinks it.

[Adam DeVine]

Wherever it comes out of. Wherever it comes out of.

[Ders]

Todd says they're made from solid cohesive and soft silicone designed to feel like firm muscle tissue.

[Blake Anderson]

Now we're talking.

[Ders]

Your boobs are huge.

[Blake Anderson]

Great. Do we get them?

[Ders]

You know, and I'm. I'm all for being freak athletes and. And maybe taking HGH or testosterone or whatever. Just a little. Just a little touch so I don't lose these fucking sick gains.

[Blake Anderson]

I had a really good conversation about GLP1s yesterday with an unnamed person.

[Ders]

And what are GLP1s again? The.

[Blake Anderson]

Like, the fat shot where you can lose weight.

[Ders]

There's fat shot.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Ders]

GLP1.

[Blake Anderson]

I don't know what we call we can't stop eating.

[Ders]

We go V. I always just call them W, W, W, W. Go, V. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Auto parts. Ow.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay.

[Blake Anderson]

Yep. I mean, I guess everyone does. I. Yeah. So had a conversation with how power wheels. Well, Gobi, I'm loving it. Specifically, we go be. Have it. We go away. Have it. Your We Goby. Okay, I still haven't seen this.

[Adam DeVine]

Tell me when to. We'll go be.

[Public Ad]

Just.

[Blake Anderson]

We'll go be it. I haven't seen this guy in a few months. He was also just leaned up, and I was like, whoa, dude, you were hemmed up, sick, and lost some weight. And he goes, well, I'm also on GLP1s. And I was like, oh, you're the first person who I've seen lose weight and has just told me that's good. Usually it's a lot of women I know who I just. I'm like, not.

[Ders]

Don't ask, don't tell.

[Blake Anderson]

Not pressing.

[Ders]

This is the way.

[Blake Anderson]

Congratulations. You just go, hey, you look great.

[Ders]

Congratulations. You've never lost a pound ever. Ever since I've known you. And now you're £40 down. That's crazy. Good for you. Pizza. Pizza. And honestly, good for them.

[Blake Anderson]

You can't stop. You're doing hella pull up. You're doing cartwheels. Yes.

[Public Ad]

What the.

[Blake Anderson]

He's just flat out straight up. And he goes, it's the best thing I've ever done. He goes, I go back to the doctor now. Every metric that was off before dick has now bounced back into, like, the green zone.

[Ders]

Was this a big man?

[Blake Anderson]

No.

[Ders]

No. Really?

[Blake Anderson]

Not even that big. He Said Overall, he's lost 50 pounds.

[Ders]

Okay. I told you, dude.

[Blake Anderson]

Right? But like he said, now he's. He's what he weighed in college or high school, so I'm thinking he might have been like 220. He might have been 220, and he's down to, like, 170 something. Okay.

[Adam DeVine]

That's a lot of weight.

[Ders]

That's pretty gnar. Gnar Binks.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I know.

[Blake Anderson]

I was like. And he told me that the reason he started his inciting incident, shall we say, was sleep apnea. He got, like, tested for sleep apnea. They were like, you need to lose weight now. We're gonna put you on this. So he got on it, and I was like, God damn it. I need, like, a. A wake up call. Sleep apnea maybe something.

[Adam DeVine]

So. Right.

[Blake Anderson]

Like a heart attack something.

[Ders]

Or maybe we just take it and we all get down to our high school weight.

[Blake Anderson]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Ders]

And Blake. Blake would weigh 98.

[Adam DeVine]

I would become afro feed.

[Ders]

Blake would weigh 112.

[Adam DeVine]

I would go back to a fetal.

[Blake Anderson]

You don't have that much fat.

[Ders]

Yeah. It would be hard for Blake to. I feel lose.

[Blake Anderson]

I have. I just want these titties out, dude.

[Ders]

Blake's already on titties Auto parts.

[Adam DeVine]

I love wegovy. I need to get on.

[Blake Anderson]

What?

[Adam DeVine]

Gravy. That's what I need. I need to add pounds.

[Blake Anderson]

Yes.

[Ders]

Give yourself. Give yourself points for that. Yes.

[Blake Anderson]

Thank you.

[Ders]

Yes. Because. Yes. I feel like Blake doesn't eat anyways. It is supposed to suppress appetite. Right. That's the.

[Blake Anderson]

He goes. I just.

[Ders]

I don't need. I think we would need it. I think we would benefit need it. I don't know, but benefit.

[Blake Anderson]

I think we're the same in that, like, you can go pretty hardcore for a couple weeks. Maybe we're different. Maybe I'm worse. Maybe you were worse. But go a couple weeks where you're, like, on a program eating right, and then you just drive by a place and you're like, let me do a little U turn here and just get something in the drive through real quick, like a shake shack or taco stand.

[Ders]

I think you're worse when it comes to that because I don't really eat a lot of fast food, but just

[Blake Anderson]

tacos, like, yeah, come on. Via tacos. Shout out to the Super Bowl.

[Ders]

The best I have. I have some sick Mexican restaurants down the street from my house, and I pass and go, let me gobble. But also my thing, I think, is alcoholism.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Ders]

You know. You know, just not even alcoholism. But I will say, when I do drink, I don't like to drink to two beers. That to me is a nothing thing. Yeah, if I'm gonna drink, I want to have 11 drinks. And then usually it's a weekend.

[Blake Anderson]

But here's question, because I'm the same way. But it's an atmosphere thing where it's like, when in Rome, when in home. When in home points. I'm drunk now.

[Ders]

But see, we do so much cool shit, right? Like, we were just at the. Like I went to Hawaii for that golf tournament and everybody's drinking. So I drank for a week. Then we came home for a few days. Then I went to the super bowl. And then I drank for a week straight. And then from there we went on the cruise and let's say we boozed. And then I got pumped up. And then afterwards, I'm kissing too.

[Blake Anderson]

I gotta get down.

[Ders]

And then I saw a We go V commercial. And I was like, let me maybe a gobble.

[Adam DeVine]

See, I wouldn't wait.

[Blake Anderson]

Are we doing high school weights? What was your high school weight or blade? Go ahead. But I did want to circle back to high school weights.

[Adam DeVine]

High school weights.

[Blake Anderson]

No, but what were you just going to say?

[Adam DeVine]

I kind of forgot.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, well, have you plumped up from our tour? And then. And also shout out to the Google glasses, but go ahead.

[Ders]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I lost my meta glasses.

[Ders]

The Meta glasses look so much better. The Google glasses look so whack.

[Blake Anderson]

Dude, you don't like that.

[Adam DeVine]

Are fresh.

[Ders]

Dude, I very much don't like that.

[Adam DeVine]

I look like Star Fox.

[Ders]

You don't look cool. If that's what Star Fox looks like, he doesn't look cool.

[Blake Anderson]

Those are 15 years old.

[Adam DeVine]

These are. Yes.

[Ders]

These are very old vintage pieces.

[Blake Anderson]

I think even six years ago, I made a video where I was like, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future. When they were like 8 years old.

[Adam DeVine]

But the thing about the meta glasses is you.

[Ders]

The fact that you kept those. Because we all got those for free. I remember when we got those for free, we were still shooting Workaholics.

[Blake Anderson]

Mine are right here.

[Ders]

I threw those away. Month two of having them.

[Adam DeVine]

I just knew they were going to age very, very well. Like, these are. These are something you need to have to just show people what the first one was. Because the meta glasses, you can't. You can't really tell that there's anything going on other than there's a light that lights up in the middle. But they look like sick Oakleys.

[Ders]

That's correct.

[Adam DeVine]

Or Ray Bans. But these.

[Blake Anderson]

You, you know, did you ever have a pair of those New meta. Those New Meta Oakleys? You have a pair of those?

[Adam DeVine]

I did. I had them for one day during the Super Bowl.

[Ders]

And you lost them?

[Blake Anderson]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. A day.

[Adam DeVine]

A couple hours.

[Ders]

Yeah. Maybe we went to that one party and you somehow lost them. And also I was like. I remember we were going to the party and it was at night, wasn't

[Blake Anderson]

it, dude, you don't remember how this happened?

[Ders]

I don't.

[Blake Anderson]

He got them in the lobby leaving your hotel.

[Ders]

Yes, I remember.

[Blake Anderson]

And then we went to the other hotel to be on a podcast that I think we could mention. Or maybe we can't. I don't know. We can't.

[Ders]

Yeah. New Heights. We can.

[Blake Anderson]

Great.

[Ders]

New heights.

[Blake Anderson]

And then we're in the lobby of that hotel maybe 28 minutes later.

[Adam DeVine]

See, that's the thing. I did have him a whole day. I had got him in the lobby and we went to the Tight End University party and I had him on there. And then in the morning, I wore them to the New Heights podcast and I left him at the New Heights podcast.

[Blake Anderson]

What? Really?

[Ders]

Well, I bet we could get you more. But. Yeah, but anyways, how fat were you in high school?

[Blake Anderson]

I thought you had him for like 28 minutes. Yeah, I.

[Adam DeVine]

Anyway, I don't really recall, but I think I was like 135 pounds or something.

[Blake Anderson]

That is so 135.

[Adam DeVine]

Or maybe I was 140. I don't. I really don't remember.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh. Oh, okay.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, maybe I remember for a while.

[Blake Anderson]

Wait, but. And. And how tall were you? Cuz. How tall are you? 5' 11 or 6ft?

[Adam DeVine]

I'm probably 5' 11, but you can list me at 6ft.

[Ders]

Feet.

[Blake Anderson]

Kissing 6.

[Ders]

Yeah. Okay, we will.

[Adam DeVine]

I feel like I'm getting taller, but I.

[Ders]

That's usually how age works.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I.

[Blake Anderson]

After you. After you broke your back and compressed.

[Ders]

Yeah, for sure.

[Adam DeVine]

No, they. They put some.

[Blake Anderson]

Actually, you might have. After they put the cyborg in there,

[Adam DeVine]

they put some inches in me.

[Blake Anderson]

I'll put some inches in you.

[Ders]

Okay. Points.

[Blake Anderson]

You gave yourself points. Yes.

[Adam DeVine]

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[Blake Anderson]

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[Adam DeVine]

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[Ders]

okay, so you were a dainty. You were very tiny. That's a very tiny.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I was very small. So much so that I started to drink and.

[Ders]

Was that senior year of high school? Because I think. I think we have to talk senior year.

[Blake Anderson]

Senior year. Yeah. Wait, I'm sorry, you. So you weighed that much and then your sentence was so much so you had to drink?

[Adam DeVine]

I started to drink.

[Ders]

What was that like weight gainer?

[Blake Anderson]

Whey protein.

[Adam DeVine]

But what? No, it was.

[Blake Anderson]

It was like Boost Ensure?

[Adam DeVine]

No, it was even before that. It was like one of the first things. Oh, it was Carnation Instant Breakfast. Do you remember Carnation Insta Breakfast. Wake up in an instant.

[Blake Anderson]

I think I've heard of it.

[Ders]

But what. Yeah. Is that like something they give to old people so they don't die because they can't eat food anymore? So they just. That's what insure is.

[Blake Anderson]

A boost for breakfast and insure for dessert.

[Adam DeVine]

Look, I recall telling my mother, I remember coming to my mother's desk and saying, mom, I need mommy.

[Ders]

I'm too skinny.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm small, I'm frail. I need to put on some sort of weight. And she said.

[Blake Anderson]

Who said that?

[Adam DeVine]

She threw Carnation Instant Breakfast my way. That was her answer to I also

[Ders]

don't think your mom really knows. She didn't know what to give you. And she was just like, okay, just. Here you go.

[Adam DeVine]

Looking back, probably didn't even have one clue. And it was before Google, so there was no way to know by the

[Ders]

way, senior year of high school was not before Google.

[Adam DeVine]

But this was sophomore year. I didn't know that senior year was something we were talking about.

[Ders]

Okay.

[Adam DeVine]

Senior year was when I started to kind of grow.

[Blake Anderson]

Did you develop?

[Adam DeVine]

I started to develop.

[Ders]

Okay, so. So we were talking senior year. We're not gonna say.

[Blake Anderson]

Adam, would you weigh each year of your life?

[Adam DeVine]

You tacked that on at the end.

[Ders]

I think I was like 160 pounds. Like 160. 165. Senior year of high school.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Ders]

Hold up.

[Blake Anderson]

And that was all dick.

[Adam DeVine]

That's pretty good.

[Ders]

And I was 5, 7, 5 8.

[Adam DeVine]

Which. Yeah. Were you fully developed? Like you had armpit hair and all that?

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, yeah, he had.

[Ders]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Lamb chop. What do you call the lamb chops? What do you call those?

[Ders]

Oh, yeah, no, I had. I had this.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, baby, you had the big chopper rocks.

[Ders]

Yeah, you know me. I'm a California sun bear. I got. I got a little hair on me.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, see, I was still.

[Blake Anderson]

Are you an otter?

[Ders]

I'm short, furry and funny.

[Adam DeVine]

Absolutely.

[Blake Anderson]

Are you an otter?

[Adam DeVine]

An otter?

[Ders]

Yeah. Yeah, I could be an otter. Why not?

[Adam DeVine]

What's an otter again?

[Blake Anderson]

Well, a bear is like a big hairy guy. I think an otter is like a slimmer hairy guy.

[Ders]

No, a California sun bear. They're a little tinier. And then they got like a little golden patch of hair here. That's why I went with a California sun.

[Blake Anderson]

I guess I haven't clicked on that category. Yeah, of pornhub adjacent.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, for sure. No California sun bears. But I will now dig in.

[Ders]

Well, that's. That's what all the gay guys would call me at. At the Improv. When I first moved to Hollywood, one gay guy and I went on. Well, I went on multiple. Two gay dates.

[Blake Anderson]

That's right.

[Ders]

Without meaning to. I'm just.

[Blake Anderson]

Whoops.

[Ders]

I'm just a. I was just 21. 22 year old kid who was excited to be working at the Improv and these men were like, we should hang out these comics.

[Adam DeVine]

I saw your Domino's commercial and I love what you're working with.

[Ders]

I saw your dump truck of a Domino's commercial and they, they said. And I didn't know what they meant. They're like, you're like a little bear cub. And I just was like, yeah, I guess I'm like kind of tiny but like ferocious. Is that what they mean?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, I'm more of a Dodgers fan now. You. Oh, we're talking sports, huh?

[Ders]

Yeah. And. And I didn't know that they were. They were Sussing me out to see if I was gay. They were susing. They were susing and I didn't know. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I am a bear cub, man.

[Blake Anderson]

I do want to hear a conversation where one guy thinks it's about sports and the other guy's definitely talking about gay stuff. Yeah, I might have to go write that and then live it or something.

[Ders]

I don't know.

[Adam DeVine]

That's a sketch for sure, dude.

[Ders]

Yeah, yeah. Someone. Someone's doing that. I'm a dude.

[Blake Anderson]

I mean, if that guy doesn't choke up on the bat. You're telling me.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. In high school, you're real. You were a tight. You were a tight end.

[Ders]

What's his batting average?

[Blake Anderson]

I'm sure there's something. There's something. We'll do it.

[Ders]

Yeah. I wonder, wouldn't mind letting him steal home plate. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. It's important.

[Blake Anderson]

That's how you win games.

[Ders]

That's definitely how you win games. Yeah, it is. You know, there'd be fireworks after that. I love the fireworks at the end of the game. Oh, my God. After a big win, if I couldn't

[Adam DeVine]

suck, it'd be stuttered death.

[Ders]

Wait, what?

[Adam DeVine]

Sudden death?

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, you just kind of go through.

[Ders]

It's. It's loud. It's loud in the bar. So you're like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Blake Anderson]

But also, it happens the other way, too, where it's like.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

I mean, he was an MVP this year.

[Adam DeVine]

All right.

[Blake Anderson]

I haven't actually heard that. Is that like a dp?

[Ders]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

What's that?

[Blake Anderson]

Designated pitcher. I don't even know if that's a. Is huh?

[Adam DeVine]

GP still a thing? Yeah, for sure.

[Ders]

Sure is.

[Adam DeVine]

Sure is There. They have talked about getting rid of it in the nl, but actually, that would be the al.

[Ders]

Yeah. Wouldn't mind slobbing on his knob. Yeah, well, I guess if you want to grip lower on the bat, more torque. Yeah, sure. Okay.

[Adam DeVine]

Spitball. Just like.

[Ders]

What's important. Spitballs. Well, technically, they're illegal on your balls.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Ders]

How good they feel.

[Blake Anderson]

You can fist his throw.

[Adam DeVine]

You're.

[Blake Anderson]

I just fit on your ball. You could. I guess you could fist his fastball, but it might break your hand. It's actually happened to me before. Funny you should say that.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. I was jerking him off so hard, I broke my hand.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, there's jerks out there, man. Nothing like a good teammate. I like the guy.

[Ders]

Hey, tag me in.

[Adam DeVine]

I've tag teamed a couple guys.

[Ders]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. Pro wrestling fan. Sure.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, man, I've seen some gnarly. I see. I've been in some pretty nasty dugouts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This was just.

[Ders]

This was just me at the Hollywood Improv when I was 20.

[Blake Anderson]

20.

[Ders]

20 years old.

[Blake Anderson]

I like.

[Adam DeVine]

I like that we're pitching. It's like, in a loud bar, but this is before you're open, so it's really quiet, and you're just completely like, huh. Sure.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, that is.

[Ders]

That is too good.

[Blake Anderson]

I kept my cleats on the whole time.

[Ders]

It's a bagel. So how big were you in senior year of high school then? Jersey? Because there isn't much of a difference. I. I usually weigh about 180 now, so. 165 to 180. That's not crazy. Post high school.

[Blake Anderson]

Nice. I was 175.

[Adam DeVine]

Wow.

[Ders]

Man.

[Adam DeVine]

Meat mountain.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, you were.

[Ders]

You were long and lean. You were.

[Blake Anderson]

Let that sit there for a little bit.

[Ders]

Now you're 230, 240, 258. That seems right.

[Adam DeVine]

Holy crap.

[Blake Anderson]

No, I'm kissing two. I'm kissing two this morning. But in college, I upped yardage in practice and lost weight and was in the 160s, which was insane. I was, like, dying.

[Ders]

I don't understand what any of that just meant.

[Blake Anderson]

You upped yardage, like, on the swim team.

[Ders]

Okay. That means you swam further.

[Blake Anderson]

Exactly.

[Ders]

Okay.

[Blake Anderson]

And so, like, burning muscle. Even though I was stronger and more powerful, lost weight, which I wish I didn't. I wish I maintained a little bit of that muscle, a little bit of that power.

[Ders]

That's sweet. Muss.

[Adam DeVine]

When you're upping yardage, are you upping it in increments that are useful to swimming? Like, because there's only certain lengths of races, Right?

[Blake Anderson]

Correct. Correct. Yeah. So it's specific to what you usually do. Right. So if you're in the distance group, you practice over there. Sprinters are over here. Mid distance are over there.

[Adam DeVine]

Right.

[Blake Anderson]

But, like, there are people who were coming from high school programs where they're like, oh, I'm used to doing way more. And I was like, that's crazy, because this is working my ass to the bone.

[Ders]

Right.

[Blake Anderson]

But yes, sprinters didn't do as much as, like, the distance dogs, which is just a whole other situation. Thank God.

[Adam DeVine]

So what did. What ended up being your specialty? Were you a distance guy or were you a sprinter? I guess I never have sprinter.

[Blake Anderson]

Sprinter power, quick twitch muscles.

[Ders]

Yeah. You know, though, is it.

[Adam DeVine]

I think sprinting is always kind of cooler than distance in My opinion, those

[Ders]

are, like, the rock stars.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, it is. What's more palatable for people to sit and watch? Right? Like, yeah.

[Ders]

Super boring. Like in the Olympics, when it's.

[Blake Anderson]

What is.

[Ders]

What's the long distance race? I don't. I have no clue. Who cares? When you're watching the lottery. Yeah. For swimming, you're like, is it ever going to end?

[Adam DeVine]

It goes.

[Ders]

You, like, go. You make a sandwich, you come back, you eat the sandwich.

[Blake Anderson]

This is why Katie Ledecky. Katie Ledecky is basically like Michael Phelps. Just right below him. Only because of what he did in Beijing with, like, the eight medals and all that. But she's unreal. But she's a distant swimmer, so it's

[Ders]

just not as, like, not as exciting. You don't want to watch it. Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

You don't care. But literally, like, she Swam for, like, 10 years and no one beat her, ever.

[Adam DeVine]

And you're just like, that's possible in

[Blake Anderson]

a distance, which is arguably harder. Well. But let me just tell you, her luggage situation.

[Ders]

Who cares?

[Blake Anderson]

She definitely had a Speedo back. Um, but no, the sprinting, like, Michael Johnson. The gold shoes.

[Adam DeVine]

Like, right. The showmanship.

[Ders]

Now, now, do long distance swimmers shit their pants the way long distance runners shit their pants?

[Blake Anderson]

No.

[Adam DeVine]

Wait.

[Ders]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Has anybody ever shit the pool?

[Ders]

Do they shit the pool, you guys?

[Blake Anderson]

I'm glad you at. Well, yeah. People shit the pool. People.

[Adam DeVine]

I told you, people shit the pool.

[Blake Anderson]

But not in a race. Not in a race. No.

[Ders]

Just for fun.

[Blake Anderson]

I had. Have I seen this? Or was this just a story someone told me where they were on a relay and one of their teammates was like, I gotta go to the bathroom. I gotta go to the bathroom. Coach was like, the relay, we're starting now. And he's like, I gotta go to the bathroom. They're swimming. This person's like, not the first swim, or maybe it was the first or second, but he, like, literally bends over to, like, get ready to go off the blocks, shits his pants, like, down his leg, diarrhea, onto the block, jumps in and, like, goes. And then the other two, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The other two swimmers are like, time out, time out.

[Adam DeVine]

Time.

[Blake Anderson]

We have to go. So I think, be me. Yeah. This is no longer my story. It's for sure somebody else. And they were like, we splashed the block to clear that off, but then just dove in and.

[Adam DeVine]

And finished the relay, swam through the diarrhea.

[Ders]

But, dude. But, dude, see, this is what. It wouldn't bother. I mean, it would be gross. But it wouldn't bother me that much.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. What? It's a. It's a giant pool.

[Ders]

It's a giant pool.

[Blake Anderson]

12 ounces of diarrhea. But you know that it is just. Whoa.

[Ders]

For like, 10 minutes. Minutes. It was a little. And then you dive right through it, and you're already through it and you're covered.

[Blake Anderson]

We've all seen someone hose for.

[Ders]

And you're covered in. In. In chlorine.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ders]

So it's all good. Baby. Baby.

[Blake Anderson]

You would think so. But then you hear stories about how just, like, one baby takes a. At, like, a huge beach, and then everyone gets E. Coli.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes, exactly.

[Blake Anderson]

But anyway, they had to swim through it and swam through it, and it was, like, their story legendary. There's no. The marathoners. Marathoners. Their pants for a few reasons. It's that long, right? You're out there for a long time, and you're taking all this, like, like, gels and stuff that with your stomach in a major way.

[Adam DeVine]

Right.

[Blake Anderson]

And can give you diarrhea.

[Ders]

Why are you taking gels? Just like, energy pouches and.

[Blake Anderson]

Exactly, exactly.

[Adam DeVine]

Because you're.

[Blake Anderson]

You're burning all that energy. You got to replenish it, and sometimes it can with your tummy. They call it tummy troubles, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. I mean, okay, well, that makes sense. I know the Winter Olympics were quite some time ago, but did you see the speed skater person?

[Ders]

Is it over?

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, it's been over for a really.

[Blake Anderson]

Just ended right now.

[Adam DeVine]

Really long time. Did you see the speed skater that got the skate, like, to the eyeball, like, almost got their eyeballs stabbed out? I heard about that. It was very scary. It was very scary.

[Ders]

Yeah, I, I didn't watch hardly any of the. I just find it the Olympics, the Winter Olympics, much more boring than the Summer Olympics.

[Adam DeVine]

I do, too. And people got on my ass when I said that. People.

[Blake Anderson]

I like to get involved.

[Ders]

I know you do, Ders.

[Adam DeVine]

I think Summer Olympics is by far better.

[Ders]

It's by far better.

[Blake Anderson]

I don't compare the two. I just don't compare the two.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay. I like that. I like that.

[Blake Anderson]

I, I, I. I look into the Winter Olympics for what it. Like, I don't really care about figure skating. Sure. But I'll turn it on and I'll go, God damn. That dude just jumped and spun a lot of times and then landed it or didn't or whatever.

[Adam DeVine]

And his costumes are so freaking cute, dude.

[Blake Anderson]

The costumes aren't for me. Yeah, or like that one, the one he wore, like, the, The Conan.

[Adam DeVine]

What was his name? Was the quad God. The quad God, quad.

[Blake Anderson]

Love that, though. Love that.

[Adam DeVine]

And it wasn't about his. His quad muscles. It was about how much he spun in the air, which I had to

[Ders]

find out later, I think, which you couldn't believe.

[Blake Anderson]

You're like, how is it not about his muscles?

[Ders]

You watched all of the figure skating of the male figure skating dude. You watched.

[Adam DeVine]

This guy was set up to win, man. He had it in the bag, and he completely biffed it, dude. Yeah, completely.

[Blake Anderson]

These things on these things. It does.

[Adam DeVine]

It's a big stage.

[Blake Anderson]

What's homegirl name? Who. Who came back to skiing?

[Ders]

Oh.

[Adam DeVine]

When she, like, tore her off and then she just was like, I'm gonna just ski anyways.

[Ders]

Well, it's.

[Blake Anderson]

I mean, now I'm. This is just.

[Adam DeVine]

I know I'm also feel disrespectful, but everyone at home.

[Blake Anderson]

You're screaming at your tele. Your Netflix.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes, that.

[Ders]

No. And by the way, no one knows. No one watched the Winter Olympics. No one really cared. It kind of.

[Blake Anderson]

They know.

[Ders]

Who gives a shit when. When. When, like, baseball's finally kicking back up, the basketball playoffs are coming. That's what Americans care about.

[Blake Anderson]

Again, I'm not comparing it to those things. I'm. I'm watching it for what it is.

[Adam DeVine]

I like that the.

[Blake Anderson]

I like the stories. I also like, there's a certain level of, like, panache. Not obviously somebody. You say panache.

[Ders]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, there. Well, there's definitely that. Thank you. There's a certain level of, like. Like, most of these people. Not all, but most of these people are doing this for absolutely $0. That's the crazy part they're doing skeleton

[Ders]

is like, how much time they dedicate for this. And they get paid nothing when it's their whole lives. But also, I. I know. And we've talked about this before.

[Blake Anderson]

Go.

[Ders]

Would it be possible if we started 20 years ago for any of us to be an Olympian? If you picked a sport that was so specific.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

See, but this is my point, Adam.

[Ders]

Could we become an Olympian?

[Blake Anderson]

But this is my point. My point is this. Maybe we could. Yeah, but would you. They did it.

[Ders]

They did it. They did it.

[Blake Anderson]

That's my point is that, like, we would start on a lark, but, like, they're actually grinding and still doing it. Whereas at a certain point, you'd be like, is this really worth it to, like, be here every night curling just to prove that I could do it?

[Ders]

Yes. So Blake has been curling a lot lately.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes, I have.

[Blake Anderson]

Interesting.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm starting to, like It.

[Blake Anderson]

For no specific reason.

[Adam DeVine]

I went to Winnipeg to just curl.

[Ders]

Yeah. Just went to Winnipeg, spend a couple months up there just to curl my ass. Any of it, weirdly.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Ders]

So when you did that, did you think, like, oh, I could get so good that I could be an Olympian, or were you like, I'm actually pretty bad at this.

[Adam DeVine]

It's definitely. Curling is deceivingly hard. I feel like if I dedicated every waking hour, I think I could probably get pretty good, but. Dude, no, but that's the thing is,

[Blake Anderson]

like, that's the difference is it's like, are you going to do that? And there's. And there's almost no, like, pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, other than the satisfaction of being the person who's like, I did it. And now I'm gonna go back to my job as an accountant in the basement of a skyscraper.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Ders]

And then you go, well, he's an Olympian. And people are like, oh, shit, he's Olympian. What were you Olympian of? And then they say, like, not that curling's shittier, but I think, like, that's one of the ones where people are like, oh.

[Adam DeVine]

Oh, shit.

[Ders]

That. With the.

[Adam DeVine]

Right. With the rocks.

[Ders]

The rocks and the ice.

[Blake Anderson]

Almost all of them.

[Ders]

Almost all of them.

[Blake Anderson]

Like, if you're like, short. Short track speed skating, which I think is fucking sick, I fucking love that people are still like, oh, all right. Like, we can name. Maybe Adam can't. But, like, we know one short track speed skater from our lifetime.

[Adam DeVine]

Bonnie Blade.

[Blake Anderson]

No, no, Bonnie Blair was long. She was long track.

[Ders]

Bonnie Blade. That's a porn star, dude. Bonnie Blade.

[Blake Anderson]

Bonnie Blue.

[Ders]

She just fucked, like, a thousand dudes.

[Adam DeVine]

What about the homie? Apollo Ono?

[Blake Anderson]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Adam DeVine]

Apollo.

[Blake Anderson]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Adam DeVine]

I found.

[Ders]

Look at you go. That sounds like a fast name.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, he's the G. He was the man, dude. He was the man. And he looks so good in the spandex. Oh, my God.

[Blake Anderson]

He's the guy we know you want to name.

[Ders]

I mean, you know, their parents were. They're like, we're naming our kid a name for speed. Apollo Ono. That sounds fast. We're going to put the skis on them by age two skates and shove them out there, get them going.

[Blake Anderson]

Putting the skis on him by two. He's not going to take the skis. We're gonna switch to skates. He's gonna become a skater.

[Ders]

It's science. See, this is how much I don't care.

[Blake Anderson]

You Know what's funny? I think he. They put him on skates, and they were like, Apollo. Oh, no. He went over the edge. And they were like, wait a second. What's his name? And they go, Apollo. They're like, Apollo Ohno. And they go, yeah.

[Ders]

You know what I would like to do? What I think we should do. Guys, why aren't we renting a house up in Mammoth? Get a sick chalet. You guys can go skiing. I'll stay back with the girls and the kids, drink whiskey by the fire, wait for you guys to come back, and then we can have a fun night.

[Adam DeVine]

Wait, wait. You're getting hammered with our kids and wives?

[Blake Anderson]

He said girls. Are you talking about the women we're married to?

[Ders]

Yeah, the women you're married to and my wife. The women.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, I have daughters.

[Blake Anderson]

Are you. Or we.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ders]

I mean, they could party, too, or they could just hang out.

[Adam DeVine]

No, they're not old enough to drink. Adam. What do you. No, I'm saying, dude, I left you to babysit, and now they're all hammered.

[Ders]

First of all. First of all, your partner's there, so she's gonna be watching after her own kids, thank you very much. I will be in charge of my son as well. Maybe she wants to ski.

[Blake Anderson]

There's no way Adam would watch our children.

[Ders]

Literally, no way. Okay, well, fine. Then I'm in charge. But let it be known I'm drinking whiskey by a fire, and I'm not getting black.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm not getting by.

[Adam DeVine]

There's fire now.

[Ders]

There has to be fire. We're at a ski chalet, so fire.

[Adam DeVine]

The adults are skiing while you're getting hammered next to a bonfire with the children.

[Ders]

That's right.

[Adam DeVine]

All right, I'm in.

[Ders]

And if your kids. By the way, if your kids don't know that fires hot, hot. At this age, they deserve to be burnt. They deserve to be burned. You know what I mean? I love it. Because. You know what? You know what trial by fire my son does? We have a fire pit in our backyard. You know what he does when it's on?

[Adam DeVine]

Let me know.

[Ders]

He walks up to it and goes, oh, hot, hot, hot. And doesn't touch it because he. He knows that it's hot.

[Blake Anderson]

Sounds like a genius.

[Ders]

Yeah, dude.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, you know, we just. We can do this, Adam. We don't have to. I. I have a house. We can go do this.

[Ders]

But, dude, so. It's too far. Dude. Dude, it's way up in. It's like, four states away. It's so far. Away.

[Blake Anderson]

It's literally an hour and 10 minute flight from Burbank. It's so good.

[Adam DeVine]

That's not bad.

[Ders]

Oh, that's not bad. We could do that.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, we could do that. We'll mark our calendars. We'll make it happen. All right, you can ski. The skiing is just a half hour away.

[Ders]

See, but I was told by Isaac that it's because I've had this idea before that we should all go up there. Is it large enough to house all of us?

[Adam DeVine]

Us?

[Ders]

Yeah. Okay. Okay, great. Okay, let's do it. Punk rock getting radical now. Is there a place to have a fire?

[Blake Anderson]

There's a fireplace.

[Ders]

I love that dude. Okay then. Then I think it's own baby.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay, that would be really nice.

[Blake Anderson]

Let's do it.

[Adam DeVine]

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[Blake Anderson]

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[Adam DeVine]

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[Ders]

now is it 100 degrees up there? Because down here in Southern California it's been 85 degrees every damn day. It's been 90 something up in LA. I live at the beach. It's 85 degrees here. It's ruthless.

[Adam DeVine]

It was a twas a hot St. Patty's Day. I can't recall one that hot. I was cooking a corned beef in the house. I'm like, I don't even. This seems a little too hot.

[Blake Anderson]

Let's talk St Patty's Day, please.

[Ders]

How crunk did you get on Saint. When I always think of Blake when I think of St. Patty's Day. That was his favorite holiday.

[Blake Anderson]

Raised by an Irishman. Raised by an Irishman.

[Ders]

Drinking beer from the time. Well, I'm Irish too.

[Adam DeVine]

The o' Donnell family raised.

[Blake Anderson]

But he was raised by an Irishman.

[Ders]

Sure.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. Absolutely.

[Blake Anderson]

Chicago Irish.

[Adam DeVine]

Absolutely. As good as it gets.

[Ders]

Sure. So did you drink from time you got up to the time you went to bed or.

[Adam DeVine]

Sadly, those. Those days are behind me. Oh, no, those days are behind me. We left like 18.

[Blake Anderson]

18 days ago on the cruise. We.

[Adam DeVine]

We. Our days of Molly Malone's and Tom Bergens are. Are behind me, man. We used to put in time. Dude.

[Ders]

Dude, I have a. I have a four leaf clover at Tom Bergen.

[Adam DeVine]

So I. I cherish. I cherish those.

[Blake Anderson]

And what is that?

[Ders]

That is a publish you if you. Tom Bergen is a. Is a pub. An Irish pub off Fairfax just a few blocks from where Biggie was shot and murdered.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay.

[Ders]

So that's a cool fact.

[Blake Anderson]

It says. It says that on the door.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, Biggie would go. Had just got done at the pub.

[Ders]

And it's an. Have you never been to Tom Bergen? Dude, it's sick. It's.

[Blake Anderson]

My brother had 50th there.

[Ders]

Oh yeah, it's the best. It's fourleaf clovers all over the wall. And if you drink there enough, they give you a four leaf cloth over.

[Adam DeVine]

Hey, thanks.

[Blake Anderson]

You did it in one night.

[Adam DeVine]

Hey, you got it.

[Ders]

They didn't like there. There's supposed to be like a little ceremony. I came in and they go, hey, look, your name's up there. And I look up where I usually sit and it says a divine. And I was like, shouldn't it be a bigger thing? And they're like, yeah, we put it up there. And I was like, oh, okay. And this is years ago. This was like in 2008 or.

[Adam DeVine]

It was like the biggest honor of your life at that time.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, right.

[Ders]

Of my life. And they just were like, ah, yeah, we. We stuck another one up there and we stuck your name up there and like, oh, thanks.

[Adam DeVine]

Thanks for sick.

[Blake Anderson]

Thanks, Tom.

[Adam DeVine]

Can we do it again?

[Ders]

But that bar was sick. We used to get very drunk there. Yeah, I miss those days there.

[Adam DeVine]

And Molly Malone's, which. Molly Malone's, I guess burnt down, but they rebuilt it, which is Pretty cool. It's back.

[Ders]

Molly Malone's. That's where you called? That's where you called out of work, drunk. Which I liked.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes. I was a delivery driver at BJ's, and I.

[Blake Anderson]

You saying a morning after.

[Adam DeVine]

No, day of.

[Ders]

Day of, yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, you were there and you called.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, I was supposed.

[Ders]

He was supposed to do an afternoon shift, and he just goes, I'm too drunk.

[Blake Anderson]

Hey. Yeah, no, I'm definitely sick. I'm not at a bar.

[Adam DeVine]

Honest.

[Ders]

He was honest.

[Adam DeVine]

Purely honest. Because I. Oh, that's cool. Well, I had told myself that I was just gonna, you know, have a couple in the morning with Adam, and then I'd go, it's a religious holiday. Yeah, I gotta show up. Come on. On the strength of the o' Donnell name.

[Blake Anderson]

That's what you told them?

[Ders]

He told himself, I'm gonna just have a few in the morning with Adam. Few. Green one before I go do my job. That is strictly driving.

[Adam DeVine]

Yes. So allegedly, I. No, I noticed that that was a bad idea, and I called my boss and I told him, yo, I was partaking in St Patrick's Day and I probably shouldn't drive today. And they're like, okay, you're. You're off today, but next time you

[Blake Anderson]

come in for the rest of your life, you're fired. You're off today, tomorrow.

[Ders]

Did you get fired?

[Adam DeVine]

Did you get fired? I did get written up, though. I was written up, which is crazy. An adult.

[Blake Anderson]

You're like, that's a demerit.

[Ders]

But that means nothing, right?

[Adam DeVine]

Like, it doesn't. Doesn't stay on my record. It doesn't follow me to my next job. Come on.

[Blake Anderson]

It does follow you, because when they call for a reference, they're like, who does that? Yeah, he's. He's a. Oh, so you're Saying Kent

[Adam DeVine]

called BJ's and was like, yo, we're about to give this guy a show.

[Blake Anderson]

No, but if you were a driver at. Somewhere else, they'd call and be like, hey, how was he? I was a nice guy, but. But he definitely called in once and was drunk before.

[Ders]

So if you tried to get a. Like a. A real driving job, like, if you, like, you wanted to drive for UPS

[Adam DeVine]

or something, or FedEx.

[Ders]

Or FedEx. Or you. Or you're like, mailman. Drive a big rig, baby.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, and that's a real driving job.

[Ders]

That's a real driving.

[Blake Anderson]

I think they're all real.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. What the hell?

[Blake Anderson]

They're all real.

[Ders]

Well, that's more of a career, I would say, delivering Pizza. That's less of a career. That's something that. That you're. You're doing in between figuring your life.

[Blake Anderson]

And to me, it's a real driving job.

[Ders]

Okay, I'm drunk now, but then ups, that's like. People can make a living and they could raise a family off of that.

[Blake Anderson]

Just as real. Yep, just as real.

[Ders]

It's more real, Anders. That's more real.

[Adam DeVine]

I think maybe.

[Ders]

I'm sorry. Yeah. I. I have to stay. I have to. I'm standing on business. Okay.

[Adam DeVine]

You're saying the pay is better. Does that qualify what a real job is and a fake job is.

[Blake Anderson]

Is the pay and are these real people.

[Ders]

It's not a fake job. I'm just saying that's not a real.

[Adam DeVine]

While you're trying to figure out what

[Ders]

you're doing with your life.

[Blake Anderson]

So if it's not a career, are you a real person or should you have real dreams?

[Ders]

I hate you guys, dude. I hate you guys.

[Adam DeVine]

Are you. Do you have real dreams

[Blake Anderson]

or are you just real sad?

[Podcast Host]

I just want to party.

[Adam DeVine]

For some people, it is a. It is like a.

[Ders]

A.

[Adam DeVine]

Like what. What are we calling that?

[Blake Anderson]

A gig?

[Adam DeVine]

A gig.

[Ders]

A gig, or like, just a job that you're doing in that you don't care if you get.

[Blake Anderson]

Temporary.

[Adam DeVine]

Really?

[Ders]

A temporary job. And then I would say a UPS job or something like that where you can have a salary that you then could raise a family on or, you know, put a down payment on a house or whatever. Because I remember when my buddy John, I think all. What's up, John Paul.

[Blake Anderson]

I think all drivers matter.

[Ders]

When he got a job working for ups, it was a big, big deal. Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

My uncle was a UPS driver for a very long time. I was hyped on.

[Ders]

That was a real job.

[Adam DeVine]

Absolutely. But I also.

[Blake Anderson]

Blake, when you were delivering for BJ's, I think that was real.

[Adam DeVine]

I. That wasn't my end goal. I get what you're saying there. Like, I. I wasn't, like, setting out to be.

[Ders]

I don't think most people. That's their end goal. That's maybe for some people, they just ended up doing it for forever, and then they're like, okay.

[Adam DeVine]

But you know what? I was happy. I was happy. I might have been at my.

[Blake Anderson]

Were you real happy?

[Adam DeVine]

I might have been at my happiest being a pizza delivery driver. It was a very. It was a very wonderful job.

[Blake Anderson]

For me, it's being a father, but that's very cool. For you. Yeah.

[Adam DeVine]

For me, you say fatherhood, I say pizza delivery.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm bringing a new pizza into the world every day.

[Ders]

No, let's. Let's get.

[Adam DeVine]

You deliver babies? I deliver pizza.

[Blake Anderson]

I'm a pizza daddy.

[Ders]

Do you honestly think that that was your happiest in your life, Adam?

[Blake Anderson]

And Adam prefaced this with let's get. Let's get as real as UPS drivers go.

[Adam DeVine]

Well, okay, here's the thing. During that time in my life, I had much less responsibility. So maybe that's what I'm looking fondly back on. But with that said, now, as I place myself back behind the wheel as a BJ's delivery driver, there were many times when I was absolutely furious with where I was in life. I was.

[Ders]

Yes, yes.

[Adam DeVine]

Very pissed.

[Ders]

I remember you being a very angry person back then.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, it was. It was frustrating because. But I. I did have a bigger dream that I wanted to accomplish. And also just being in traffic and having a ticking time clock, it. It was. It was very classic.

[Blake Anderson]

You know what? Time clock?

[Ders]

Ticking time clock. I would say my guy happiest time in. In my life besides, like, having kids, which is in fatherhood. That is the greatest. But you sure, after season one of Workaholics, when we accomplished season one and before. And even before it was out that summer, that summer where we were, like, picked up to write season two, but we had, like six weeks and all we did was party and have a great time and know that we're coming back and going to write the show. And then the show started to come up out as. As that summer was happening, I was like, this is the greatest time of my life. That's what I look back at and go, oh, it didn't get better than that. When we partied, when we wrapped season one and we partied for legitimately two to three weeks straight, where, like, every day just different groups of people were coming in from out of town to visit. We were hosting them.

[Adam DeVine]

We just had a case of kissing the ring. Kissing the ring.

[Blake Anderson]

What'd you say?

[Ders]

Who's kissing the ring? Kissing the ring, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

No, we had a case of champagne and it was just like. It was just anytime one ran out, we pop another one. We cut it off with the katana into the pool.

[Ders]

And it was just.

[Adam DeVine]

It was very euphoric.

[Ders]

There was a lot of glass in that pool, dude.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, interesting.

[Ders]

That was the greatest. What is the greatest time, dude?

[Adam DeVine]

January 6th.

[Blake Anderson]

After fatherhood, marriage. After that, obviously.

[Ders]

Obviously. Obviously. Obviously.

[Blake Anderson]

January 6th was a fun run. Yeah, that was a good. I knew you because it was just. It was just freedom.

[Ders]

Yeah, it Was real freedom. It's finally with taking the. Taking the house back. Taking the people's house back.

[Blake Anderson]

Honestly, I just felt American for the

[Adam DeVine]

first time, which is cool.

[Blake Anderson]

Which sounds weird, because I've been American since I was born, but I felt reborn that day.

[Adam DeVine]

Absolutely.

[Blake Anderson]

And every day since. I don't know, happiest time, I. You know what? I. Here's one thing that I will say, and this kind of.

[Adam DeVine]

Please do.

[Blake Anderson]

This kind of goes back to almost exactly Blakeland here, which is when.

[Adam DeVine]

Welcome back.

[Blake Anderson]

When the song. Listen to the Music comes on. You know that song? I think it's the Doobie Brothers.

[Adam DeVine]

By the Doobie Brothers.

[Ders]

No, no.

[Blake Anderson]

It's like, whoa, listen to the music.

[Ders]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Adam DeVine]

I was.

[Blake Anderson]

I was an assistant on Bones.

[Ders]

I was David Boreanas.

[Adam DeVine]

Not a real guy.

[Blake Anderson]

I was fucking David Boreanis.

[Adam DeVine]

Not a real job.

[Blake Anderson]

Sure, I was. Not a real job. Of course, I was barely a real human. Yeah. But I had. I was working on the Fox lot. I'm in the business. I have a minivan. So I'm like, driving to go get lunch. That's part of my job. I'm driving to go get lunch. That song comes on. I'm cruising down Avenue the Stars in Century City. I blast that song. And I'm like, you made it.

[Ders]

Yep.

[Blake Anderson]

You made it.

[Adam DeVine]

You did it, bud.

[Blake Anderson]

You're getting paid to drive around la, get people lunch, go back in, break stories, type shit down. Listen to these people who, like, are doing what you want to do. You've made it. You're there.

[Ders]

I remember telling my sister, sister. That when she would get so mad that I'd be like, hey, can you go get his Coffee Bean? And she's like. Because my sister was a PA on Workaholics. Yeah. A production assistant. And. And you say, she did great.

[Blake Anderson]

Yeah, okay, great.

[Ders]

Yeah, she did. She did do great. But she would like. To me, she was like, can you just get Coffee Bean? There's a Coffee Bean right down the street. Or there's a Starbucks right down the street. Coffee Bean is like two miles away. And I'm like, brittany, your whole job job is just to go get the Coffee Bean, put on music, take your time, go to the Coffee Bean. And she's like, this job fucking sucks. And I'm like, put on the Doobie Brothers song and just cruise, dude.

[Blake Anderson]

Dude. Every time it comes on, I'm instantly transported back to that exact moment where I was just like, this is it. I'm wearing sunglasses that have, like, a wooden frame.

[Ders]

I remember you wearing Those sunglasses and, like.

[Blake Anderson]

And a polo that had, like. Oh, you were wearing those two little x's right here.

[Adam DeVine]

And I'm. I'm gonna come.

[Blake Anderson]

And I'm wearing rainbow flip flops and I'm cruising.

[Ders]

I remember somehow Ders got us on the Fox lot.

[Blake Anderson]

This job.

[Ders]

I know. And remember, we were just, like, on the Fox lot. And just being there, we're like, this is the coolest crazy. When I shot Modern Family, we shot it on the Fox lot, and at lunchtime, I would just, like, walk around because it's the coolest being on those old movie studio lots.

[Blake Anderson]

I thought you were gonna. I thought you were gonna say. You kept telling people you'd been there, bro.

[Ders]

Before. I've actually been here before.

[Adam DeVine]

It sucks that they're all closing. It really is really cool.

[Blake Anderson]

I was actually here one time.

[Ders]

I've been here once. My buddy was an assistant, production assistant on Bones.

[Adam DeVine]

So.

[Ders]

Yeah. David Boreanis.

[Blake Anderson]

Heard of him. He was. He was.

[Ders]

Heard of him.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, my God. But yeah, I mean, large head, so whatever. As far as, like, happiest times, looking back, adulthood, like, to kind of just steal from Blazer. I do remember being. Being like, this is it. You are living and getting paid to just be in the business now. And also, I'll say, like, the late night punch ups we would do on Workaholics.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Where like, there was nothing else happening in the universe. Where I'd rather be. I'd rather just be right here with you guys.

[Ders]

Especially those first couple seasons. Those first, like, two seasons when. When we were still in Bourbon bank and. And we were riding downstairs and upstairs was the office set. We would go up there at night and. And just like, you're kicking it on the set and you smoke weed stuff, man. The best, dude. And also, like, when our kids are born in the house. And also that.

[Blake Anderson]

But.

[Ders]

But really, for sure.

[Blake Anderson]

Both of my kids. Three of them. All three of them.

[Ders]

Yeah. But really, that summer.

[Blake Anderson]

Somebody help me.

[Adam DeVine]

Hey, guys. This segment of Take Backs, apologies, and epic slams are brought to you by Simple Mills. And, guys, I'm sorry I was so cranky this episode. I had a big meal before, and it really dragged me down.

[Blake Anderson]

Oh, no. Does your stomach hurt? So you're gonna act like a baby.

[Ders]

Of course he is. Okay. We apologize for making fun of you about that.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah. Come on. Don't kick a man while he's down.

[Blake Anderson]

You know, you can help prevent this in the future. Have a light snack, like simple mills almond flour crackers or pop Ems. They're so Tasty and healthy. You can't go wrong, Blazer.

[Ders]

Yeah, he's right, Blake. You gotta take your epic snacks seriously so you can keep up with the show.

[Adam DeVine]

Yeah, you guys are right. Simple Meals is the ultimate epic snack. Especially before a podcasting session. Find simple Meals at your grocery store. Is it already that time?

[Ders]

It is.

[Blake Anderson]

Take backs. No, I think all jobs are real. What else?

[Ders]

Dude, it's a real job. I'm not saying it's not a real job. I'm not saying it's not a real job. I'm just saying it's not a. It's not a. Most people wouldn't consider that a career, Adam.

[Blake Anderson]

And we know you're not most people, bro. We know you're cut from a different typical.

[Ders]

I'm just saying. I'm just saying, dude.

[Blake Anderson]

Of course, of course, of course, of course. But shout out to all. All drivers. All drivers matter. All drives matter. Absolutely.

[Ders]

You were one of those, like, all lives matter, guys. That's why you keep saying that. Yeah.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, I got. I painted a blue line across my.

[Adam DeVine]

But D doesn't even see color. You don't matter if you're purple or polka dot, yellow, white.

[Blake Anderson]

You can be black, white, polka dot. Oh, Netflix, Netflix, Netflix. Digging the crates for the OG reference for that. But shout out to all old white guys who say that who still say, I never see color. Black, white, purple.

[Ders]

Hey, man, I. I feel like my dad would say that. He's like, polka dot pink. I don't care. And he really doesn't, but he still says that. I'm like, yeah, no one's polka dot,

[Blake Anderson]

but they never say brown, right? Yeah, they're like, black, white, polka dot, brown.

[Ders]

Polka dot pink.

[Blake Anderson]

No, did I say brown? Brown, peach, maybe stripe plaid peach.

[Adam DeVine]

Huh? Hey, peach.

[Ders]

Slightly tanned.

[Adam DeVine]

I'll give a special elevated shout out to Dennis for getting a lung. Dude, that's cool, dude.

[Ders]

Elevated shout outs. That's. That's a new thing, dude.

[Adam DeVine]

Hell yes, brother.

[Ders]

Yeah, this tube sucked.

[Blake Anderson]

Shout out to whoever gave him the lung.

[Adam DeVine]

Obviously, this person asked, do we know?

[Ders]

We don't know. And we're going to write a letter. My mom was like, I'm ready to write it right now. And I'm like, like, let's. Let's wait a month. Let's let everything settle. I don't know if they want to get this letter as they're, like, planning their funeral or whatever. So let's give it a month or so, and then we can write a letter saying how much it's helping dad, right?

[Blake Anderson]

Even though he was a murderer who was put to death from tech in Texas.

[Ders]

I mean, who knows? We don't know what.

[Blake Anderson]

What it was, but deep sea diver, hopefully.

[Ders]

Thank you. Cedar Sinai Hospital. They do magic there. Dude, it's crazy being in the ICU with lung and heart transplants and just like seeing like shit's going down like this. This guy two, two rooms down from my dad, he died and then they brought him back to life and now

[Blake Anderson]

he's just to say they, I mean,

[Ders]

he's not doing fine, he's not doing great, but like they were able to like resuscitate him, which is pretty unreal. So shout out to Cedar Cyanide Hospital.

[Adam DeVine]

That's a real job right there. God damn.

[Ders]

God damn. Now that's a real job.

[Blake Anderson]

I'll.

[Ders]

I'll say that now. If you're delivering food to.

[Adam DeVine]

What if I'm the guy delivering the lung on ice?

[Ders]

Oh yeah, that's a real. That's a real that I'm sure you have benefits. It's a real job.

[Adam DeVine]

But I, but I.

[Ders]

Most people are, are in agreement that even the people that are doing the gigs, the gig workers work. They'd prefer to have a steady job with maybe benefits. I'm sure they would.

[Blake Anderson]

Or maybe they like living by the seat of their pants. They like the freedom. They got auditions they want to go to.

[Ders]

Hey, maybe, maybe if those still existed,

[Blake Anderson]

they like listening to the Doobie Brothers. Smoking Doobies ups ain't letting you blast the Doobie Brothers.

[Ders]

Yeah, they are.

[Adam DeVine]

Hey, I want a job. I can call in drunk too.

[Blake Anderson]

They got Big brother watching now that.

[Ders]

Do they have cameras watching you in the. I bet they do.

[Blake Anderson]

I think Amazon is like, you're off route. Get the back on route. And they're like, I just wanted to

[Adam DeVine]

get a diet co. Why I'm wearing these is to keep you guys.

[Ders]

Oh, I bet that's exact. I bet they are tracking your every move.

[Adam DeVine]

Dude, I would hope so. I hope they track everybody's every move or otherwise.

[Ders]

They're not. They're not tracking the garbage men down here at the beach. I'll say that these garbage men look like.

[Blake Anderson]

Okay, here's a shout out like they're

[Ders]

still having a good time.

[Adam DeVine]

I'm. I'm big in the surveillance state. I want everybody watched every. All times. Oh, okay.

[Ders]

Not me at all. I think that's terrifying.

[Blake Anderson]

Hey, let's pick that up next week, cuz this has been another episode.

[Adam DeVine]

This is important.

[Ders]

Big shout out.

[Adam DeVine]

Dennis D. Woo.

[Blake Anderson]

Baby New. Love that shit's.

[Ders]

Important.

[Adam DeVine]

I hope his voice doesn't change.

[Ders]

Is he like hey guys, it sounds just like that.

[Adam DeVine]

Okay, perfect.

[Ders]

That shit's in blue. Perfect.

[Blake Anderson]

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[Adam DeVine]

They also have a mystery multiplier feature where you can win up to 1,000 times on just two picks. There's literally no downside, which means there's zero reason to play two pick lineups anywhere else. If you're not on Better, you're leaving money on the table. Better has paid out over 250 million in winnings to their users.

[Blake Anderson]

Stop leaving money on the table and download better today. That's BETR must be 18 or older and physically located in a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates. Concerned about your play? Call the NCPG at 1-800-522-4700.

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[Adam DeVine]

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[Blake Anderson]

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[Podcast Host]

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