Podcast Summary: "Belonging (At Work) with Dr. Beth Kaplan | Episode 286"
This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil
Host: Nicole Kalil
Guest: Dr. Beth Kaplan
Release Date: March 3, 2025
Duration: Approximately 34 minutes
1. Introduction to the Episode
In Episode 286 of This Is Woman's Work, host Nicole Kalil engages in a profound discussion with Dr. Beth Kaplan about the concept of belonging in the workplace. The episode delves into the intricacies of fostering a genuine sense of belonging, differentiating it from mere inclusion, and understanding its impact on both individuals and organizational culture.
2. Defining Belonging
Nicole opens the conversation by highlighting the multifaceted nature of work and the importance of belonging within it. She introduces Dr. Kaplan, a renowned expert in workplace resilience and belonging, who shares her definition of belonging:
Dr. Beth Kaplan [04:25]: "Belonging is the innate desire to be part of something larger than ourselves without sacrificing who we are."
Dr. Kaplan explains how this definition evolved from her research, emphasizing the crucial element of individuality that often gets lost in traditional interpretations of belonging.
3. Belonging vs. Inclusion vs. Fitting In
A significant portion of the discussion centers on distinguishing between belonging, inclusion, and fitting in. Dr. Kaplan clarifies these concepts:
- Inclusion: Being accepted or allowed into a group, often determined by others.
- Belonging: A personal choice to be part of a group without losing one's identity.
- Fitting In: Conforming by relinquishing personal traits to be accepted.
Dr. Beth Kaplan [07:47]: "Fitting in requires you giving up what makes you you to be part of something else. And belonging requires that you be you."
Using the example of being a Philadelphia Eagles fan, Dr. Kaplan illustrates how belonging allows individuals to connect authentically without compromising their identity.
4. The Role of Personality in Belonging
Nicole, identifying as an introvert, explores whether the need to belong is universal. Dr. Kaplan affirms that the desire for connection is hardwired into our DNA, regardless of personality type.
Dr. Beth Kaplan [06:25]: "I believe it's hardwired in our DNA. You can go as far back as the Stone Age to really think about why we started to feel the sense of belonging."
She emphasizes that belonging is "personality agnostic," meaning both introverts and extroverts equally require a sense of belonging, though their methods of achieving it may differ.
5. The Four Types of Belonging
Dr. Kaplan outlines four distinct types of belonging, expanding the conversation beyond the traditional understanding:
- True Belonging: Authentic connection without sacrificing one's identity.
- Thwarted Belonging: A lack of belonging, which can have severe consequences, including mental health issues.
- Dissimulated Belonging: Possessing a sense of belonging that isn't directly related to the workplace, often maintained to avoid workplace dynamics.
- Sacrificial Belonging: Consciously or subconsciously giving up personal well-being, values, or identity to fit into the workplace.
Dr. Beth Kaplan [20:09]: "The four types of belonging are true, thwarted, dissimulated, and sacrificial."
6. Sacrificial and Thwarted Belonging
Focusing on sacrificial belonging, Dr. Kaplan discusses its implications:
Dr. Beth Kaplan [24:18]: "Sacrificial belonging is when you give up a part of yourself for what you believe is the greater good. This can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a deep sense of disconnection."
Thwarted belonging is highlighted as the most detrimental form, often linked to severe mental health outcomes like suicide.
Dr. Beth Kaplan [25:07]: "Belonging is an antecedent to suicide. Thwarted belonging, in particular, has severe ramifications."
She underscores the importance of recognizing and addressing these forms to maintain both individual well-being and a healthy workplace environment.
7. Leadership's Role in Fostering Belonging
Nicole inquires about actionable steps leaders and organizations can take to enhance employees' sense of belonging. Dr. Kaplan emphasizes the fundamental role of care:
Dr. Beth Kaplan [12:43]: "The number one answer is care. Care can be thoughtfulness, care can be clarity. Clear is kind."
She advises leaders to understand how each employee prefers to receive care and recognition, suggesting personalized approaches to praise and support.
Dr. Beth Kaplan [16:53]: "Ask your people how they like to be praised, understand their boundaries, and learn what they liked or didn't like about their previous leaders."
Nicole adds that conversations about how individuals prefer to receive care can bridge gaps and foster a more inclusive environment.
8. Virtual vs. In-Person Belonging
With the rise of remote work, Nicole raises concerns about maintaining a sense of belonging in virtual settings. Dr. Kaplan responds by challenging the notion that workplaces can inherently feel like "home":
Dr. Beth Kaplan [29:52]: "The only time place belongingness occurs is when something feels like home. Most corporate offices do not feel like home."
She advocates for flexible approaches, recognizing that some individuals derive a sense of belonging from outside the workplace, such as through personal routines or communities.
Dr. Beth Kaplan [31:45]: "You do not have to get a sense of belonging from the workplace. You can get it in other places."
Nicole concurs, highlighting that meaningful work and a sense of purpose can significantly contribute to belonging, irrespective of the physical workspace.
9. Conclusion and Final Thoughts
As the episode wraps up, Dr. Kaplan offers a poignant takeaway:
Dr. Beth Kaplan [33:50]: "When you're looking for that sense of belonging, look inward first. The most important thing you will belong to is yourself."
Nicole echoes this sentiment, tying it back to the podcast's overarching theme of confidence and authenticity.
Nicole Kalil [33:59]: "Belonging isn't just about feeling good at work. It's about knowing you're in the right place to thrive, contribute, and grow."
Key Takeaways
- Belonging is a personal choice to be part of a group without sacrificing one's identity, distinct from inclusion and fitting in.
- Personality does not negate the need for belonging; both introverts and extroverts require connection, though their methods may vary.
- There are four types of belonging: true, thwarted, dissimulated, and sacrificial, each with unique implications for individuals and workplaces.
- Leaders play a crucial role in fostering belonging by showing genuine care and understanding individual preferences in receiving support and recognition.
- Virtual work environments present challenges for belonging, but individuals can find connection and purpose outside traditional office settings.
- Self-awareness and personal boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy sense of belonging without compromising well-being.
Notable Quotes
- Dr. Beth Kaplan [04:25]: "Belonging is the innate desire to be part of something larger than ourselves without sacrificing who we are."
- Dr. Beth Kaplan [07:47]: "Fitting in requires you giving up what makes you you to be part of something else. And belonging requires that you be you."
- Dr. Beth Kaplan [12:43]: "The number one answer is care. Care can be thoughtfulness, care can be clarity. Clear is kind."
- Dr. Beth Kaplan [25:07]: "Belonging is an antecedent to suicide. Thwarted belonging, in particular, has severe ramifications."
- Dr. Beth Kaplan [33:50]: "When you're looking for that sense of belonging, look inward first. The most important thing you will belong to is yourself."
Resources Mentioned
- Dr. Beth Kaplan's Book: Braving the Workplace (Available on Amazon and local bookstores)
- Newsletter: Belonging at Work Newsletter on LinkedIn
- Website: Dr. Beth Kaplan’s website (links provided in show notes)
This episode offers valuable insights into the nuanced concept of belonging in professional settings, equipping listeners with the understanding and tools necessary to cultivate authentic connections and foster inclusive workplace environments.