
Loading summary
A
You know that phase where something in your business clearly needs support but not enough support for a full time hire. Or that weird in between where you need expertise now but you don't have the time, energy or desire to turn it into a two month hiring process. And that's why platforms like Upwork exist. Hiring support for your business shouldn't be a headache or a drain on your budget. Upwork makes it easy to hire specialized freelancers quickly so you get the expertise you need more. Right now you can browse profiles, review past work, and get help scoping the role so you can hire with confidence and get started quickly. And it's not just for one type of work. We're talking marketing, operations, tech, analytics, all of it. It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That's Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's up w o r k.com Upwork.com I'm currently traipsing through Europe, which is both a phrase I've always wanted to say and a thing I've always wanted to do. And if you've been following along on my substack or Instagram stories, you know that I've been doing some epically cool tour, staying at Hotel Snob approved hotels, and generally living my best life. And all of that was possible and planned with Fora. Yes, the exciting stuff, but also the less sexy things that become necessary when you're in a foreign country trying to figure out things like train tickets, air airport transfers, or how anything works when you don't speak the language. What's interesting is the more I've used Fora, the more I've thought, wait, I would crush this as a career. So friend, I'm even considering becoming a Fora advisor myself when I get back. Fora is a modern travel agency designed for people who want to build a meaningful travel business of their own and you don't need prior experience. Fora provides the technology, training and community to help get you started. So your next act starts here. Become a Fora advisor today@foratravel.com woman that's f o r a travel.com woman and make sure you tell them that we sent you foratravel.com woman. I am Nicole Khalil, and like so many women, I'm a recovering perfectionist, a recuperating over committer, and a terrible multitasker. Seriously, friend, I can't work on two things at the same time. Hell, I can't watch TV and talk or even walk and text. I often find myself standing in the middle of aisles, sidewalks and hallways with my phone in my hand wondering how long I've been standing there. And like so many of you, I also have a very long, seemingly never ending to do list. Who am I kidding? I have multiple to do lists in multiple places and pretty consistently add more than I check off. I'm embarrassed at how often I have something that I need to do and it'll pop into my mind and I think, oh, I won't forget this. And then I forget it. And then I spend far too much time trying to remember this very important thing that I have to do. And of course I make up that this thing that I'm forgetting and is a career defining and probably something that I've let everybody down in forgetting, only to remember a few hours later that the thing was something totally mundane like ordering JJ some new socks. So easing the mental load, minimizing the to do list, letting go of the things that don't really matter is a constant work in progress for me. But when I'm in the throes of it all, I often think there's gotta be a better way because things must get done. But stress and overwhelm are not healthy for anyone. And because being so focused on the doing doesn't leave much time and space for the being and the learning. Because, and let's be honest about this, many of us wear all the things we do and accomplish like it's a badge of honor. But that badge is costing us some pretty important things like our creativity, our our connection, and our health. So I've invited Sam Bennett, Creativity Productivity Specialist, to join us to share her 15 minute method with all of us. Sam is the author of the bestselling book Get It Done as well as Start Right where you how little changes can Make a Big Difference for overwhelmed procrastinators, frustrated overachievers, and recovering perfectionist. Which seems like she's just talking to me. Her latest book, just released in June, is called the 15 minute the surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done. Having spent most of her life working as a professional actor and improviser, Sam brings a quick wit to her writing and her work as a top instructor on LinkedIn learning with over a million learners worldwide. She now lives happily in an old house with three cats, which is just how she always imagined it might be, which I love. Okay, Sam, I have many questions, so thank you for joining me. And I Have to ask first, because honestly, I'm a little skeptical about it. Can we really get anything done in 15 minutes a day?
B
Hi.
A
Thank you.
B
Hi, everybody. Yes.
A
Perfect.
B
Yeah, I mean, the thing of this is, of course, you already are. You're already living your life in 15 minute increments. You know, how do you stay married 15 minutes at a time? How do you raise a child 15 minutes at a time? You know, how do you keep things clean and organized? Generally 15 minutes at a time. And so if you've just heard something sort of snap inside your mind, like, I'm glad because one of the big deceptions or self deceptions that I hear about all the time is like, well, I would do xyz, but I just, I don't have the time. Like, I need the time. I need a. I need three months, you know, on a writing retreat in Provence. I need two free weekends to clean out the garage. Really? What weekends are those? Show me those weekends. Yeah, because I guarantee you don't have two free weekends, and if you did, you don't want to spend them cleaning out the garage.
A
Agreed. In my coaching work and even with myself, how often we do that, like, I just need a week to reset or to get caught up or whatever. Yeah. And you're right. We are doing everything in little snippets. And I say this, maybe mostly to myself, this, we don't have the time. And yet if we added up the amount of minutes we spend on things that aren't serving us, like social media or candy or any of the games or whatever, we could certainly find the 15 minutes. So when you say get it done, what is it? What is it that we're supposed to be doing? Can you give us some examples here?
B
Sure. I've got two things that are coming to mind. One is the things that are probably already on your to do list of things to do, like clean out the garage, but there's also the list of things that you know, would really make a difference to you, that would fuel your soul, that would put a light in your eyes that you, you just love to do for whatever reason or would be important to you. Your body, your health, your finances, your family. And somehow all day, every day, we get everything done for everybody else. And the thing that you know, would really make a difference to you doesn't even make it on the list. So that's my first agenda, is for y' all to spend 15 minutes a day on something that matters to you. And I don't care if it matters to anybody else. I don't care if anybody even knows about it, but for you to take that time to just nourish yourself. Yep.
A
So my brain goes tactical. I know that's not maybe the best place to go, but any recommendations on how we begin a 15 minute increment on something that matters to only us when we've so clearly gotten out of the habit and we already feel like we don't have time? Do we schedule it in? How do we begin?
B
So I have a couple of thoughts. One is skip the first step. Whatever you think the first step needs to be like, well, I would write a screenplay, except I should probably read a book on screenwriting first. Like, nah, fuck it, just start writing. I would, you know, I would start, you know, stretching 15 minutes a day, but, you know, I need better shoes. No, you don't just start stretching. Just kitchen dance to Buddy Holly for 15 minutes. It's fine. So that's. That would be for overthinkers and over planners and apple polishers. I know you little A getters out there are like, but I know I have to know the right way to do this. Sam, no, there is no right way to do it. It's 15 minutes out of your life that you're spending for you. So, you know, as I say in the book, it up wine and cry, show up stoned, like, do it poorly.
A
My new favorite mantra.
B
Okay, good. I'm telling you what, it's brillian. And if you don't know what to do, you can make a list of a bunch of different 15 minute tasks and then just pick one and do it. You could also just stare at a blank piece of paper for 15 minutes because you know what never hurt anybody? 15 minutes of enforced boredom. And when was the last time you gave yourself the privilege and the honor of looking at a blank piece of paper for 15 minutes without reaching for your phone completely?
A
And that actually jumped out at me a lot when I was prepping for our interview is the connection to creativity in all of this and in your work. These 15 minutes. And very specifically as it relates to allowing ourselves to be bored for 15 minutes. I've heard this so many times, that this is good for kids and it sparks creativity. If it's good for them, it's good for us.
B
That's right.
A
So thank you for saying that. That it doesn't need to be all figured out and there isn't a first step that makes this all work and all of that. So I guess in your research, how does a 15 minute strategy help? How does it help creativity again, in preparation noticed it helps adhd. You said the neurospicy. I love that. How are we seeing this play out?
B
Yeah. So the first thing I just want to hop in on and clarify is the word creative. Because there's been an unfortunate collapsement in the language between the words creative and artistic. And those are not the same thing. Everyone is creative. Not everyone is artistic. Everyone has the ability to solve problems in an innovative way. That's what creativity is. It's innovative problem solving. Not everyone is artistically inclined. Not everyone likes to paint or draw or sing or dance or whatever. So your creativity might express itself in coding. Your creativity might express yourself in your ability to give compliments that make people feel amazing. Your creativity may express itself in insert blank here. Honestly, it's probably that thing, you know, your little zone of creative genius probably has to do with that thing that like all your family and friends are like, wait, you just paid how much to go to an exhibition on what? That's where. And you're like, no, no, no, I'm really looking forward to it. I can't wait. They're like, okay, that stuff, that's part of your zone of creative genius, right? That stuff that you're just sort of mysteriously interested in and always love and would do anytime and dare not maybe
A
come a little more naturally to you where you're like, why can't other people do this? Or why is this easier for me? Is that also maybe some indication of
B
our 100% and I will say, tip of the hat to Gay and Katie Hendricks and their work on Zones of genius. If you haven't read their work, go for it. It's amazing. But yeah, it's often easy for us to miss our zones of genius because it does come so naturally to us. It's so much a part of who we are that we don't even think of it as being a thing. Or we think like, well, of course, obviously everyone can do this. No, they can't. No, they can't. And even if they can, it's the thing that lights you up. That's where my concern is. And so you're like, oh, I don't have time. Of course you have time. You have the same 24 hours that all of us have, right? Nobody gets more time than anybody else. So drop that story. I own my business. My 80 year old mother lives. I'm a full time caregiver, I got a long term illness. I've had long haul Covid for the last two and a Half years. Believe me, I understand the restrictions of time and energy. And you still have 15 minutes, right?
A
I often think of time management as a misnomer because of what you said. We're not managing time. We all have the same amount of it. It's fixed, it's neutral. What we're managing are the choices we make with the time that we have. Which sounds logical and simple, but as is the case for many of us, isn't easy. I think because we've become a. I mentioned it as a badge of honor. We become addicted to our busyness. Agree, disagree.
B
Oh, I would love to put an end to this game of international I'm so busy Poker going on. You know this. Oh, my God, I'm so busy. Really? You're so busy? I am so busy. Like, okay, drop it. Do not get extra points for being busy. No one cares that you're busy. We're all busy. You, you're tired at the end of the day, no matter what you're doing. So just find something more interesting to say, right? People say, how are you? Instead of saying busy, you know, how are you deeply fulfilled and yet challenged? How are you really engaged in the work of Louisa May Alcott right now? How are you working on some needlepoint? You know, it's a project for my godchild that was supposed to be done when she was born and now she's graduating high school. So I think I'll get to it really quick, like, share who you are instead of this badge of, oh, I'm so busy. Because, you know, we're taught. We are all taught. I think women get it, especially taught. But we are all taught that the only thing that matters is everything you do for everybody else, right? That it's selfish to spend time on yourself. It's selfish to spend time on the things that matter to you. And I want to suggest that the opposite is true. Because what's really selfish is you walking around exhausted and stressed out and with no sense of humor. And the rest of us have to deal with you like that. That is selfish. You show up calm, rested, a light in your eyes. You know, you take 15 minutes for yourself. You're a better listener. You're less reactive. Even the Trader Joe's parking lot will not make you as crazy because you've centered inside of yourself a little bit and you get that little bit of self approval, that little bit of, you know, like, positive smugness, you know, that you get. Like when you go to the gym in the morning or get laid in the morning or whatever. You spend all day walking around being like, that's right. I'm awesome. How are you? Right. So how can we start to leverage that and just these little slivers of joy? I mean, look, I want the four months in Provence for you too. But until that day comes, we have today.
A
Right?
B
And even before the end of Today, we have 15 minutes.
A
I sometimes wonder for myself. The busyness is a cover for something. It's a hiding of something, a fear I'm avoiding something, I guess. Have you learned anything about that besides societal expectations, which are very fair and very real? I mean, fair to acknowledge that that's impacting us. Not that the societal expectations are fair, but is there anything more internal that you're seeing that sort of has us lean hard on this busyness and preventing us from doing what we really want to be doing?
B
Yeah, I think there's a couple things going on for me. For many years, busy was my second favorite narcotic. Right?
A
Yeah.
B
Because if I'm busy enough, then the only feeling I really have to manage is tired. And tired can cover up a whole avalanche of sins. Right? Tired. If I'm tired. If I'm busy and I'm tired, then I don't have to face the fact that I am unfulfilled, unrewarded, bored out of my gourd. A lot of you are walking around saying you're overwhelmed. When you're not overwhelmed, you're underwhelmed. You've got a list of stuff to do that you don't really care about. Of course, that's when you're like, tired before you even start. It's like, ugh. Right. So busy, however, can be a good mask for those problems. Right. So that would be one inquiry I might invite a person into. Like, if I weren't busy, if I weren't tired, if I weren't overwhelmed, what would I be? Oh, I'd be bitterly disappointed. Oh, I'd be in need of having an important conversation with someone.
A
I'm so wildly glad I asked that question because that was absolutely a mic drop moment. And yes, so much to think about and consider there a little hard to hear, but dead on.
B
Well, you know, if we can't be honest with ourselves, who could we be honest with?
A
Right? Absolutely.
B
And I will just. Just to not leave you all hanging, I will. There's a tip in the book that's like my favorite thing, which is here's if you are going, oh, no, I do have to have a serious conversation with someone. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. Of course you don't. Here's how to frame that up. This works magic. Say, hi, Nicole, is now an okay time for us to have a conversation that I really wish we did not have to have? Or, hi, Nicole. Is now an okay time for us to talk about something that has previously been undiscussable? This little phrasing is magic because first of all, it gives the person a heads up and lets them go like, oh, gosh, yes, of course, right now. Or oh, my goodness, can we. Can we talk at 5? Is 5 okay? Right? So you're not just going in there guns blazing, like, we have to talk right now, right? You're giving them a second, which is only polite, and you're letting them know, like, you're not crazy about this either. This is not you against them. This is the two of you against this thing. The two of you against the fact that the living room is a mess, your mother's coming to visit, and we haven't had sex in six months. You and me against the fact that I don't like this job anymore. You and me against whatever it is, Right? And when you are on the same team as someone, even when it's uncomfortable, you're going to get a lot more progress than if it's me against you, friend.
A
We named our Skylight calendar Khalil Chaos because honesty matters. And when we got our Skylight calendar, I really thought it was mostly going to be for me, a way to keep schedule straight and maybe stop the endless wait. What time is practice Questions. But the person who is most unexpectedly into it is jj. She picked out her color marks off her tasks, add stuff to the grocery list, and picked all of the pictures because apparently she has very strong opinions about calendar aesthetics. Skylight Calendar is designed to bring families together so you have more time for what really matters. And your happiness is Skylight's happiness. So if in four months, you're not 100% thrilled with your purchase, you can return it for a full refund, no questions asked. Families are just better when they're working together. And right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch calendars by going to myskylight.com womanswork go to myskylight.com womanSWork for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. That's my S K Y L I g h t.com womanswork this message is sponsored by Greenlight. As most Moms do I spend a lot of time thinking about parenting? Am I doing it right? Am I teaching her what she actually needs to know to live well? And teaching kids about money feels pretty high on my list, especially because most of us learned the hard way and that's why we started using Greenlight years ago. Greenlight is a debit card and money app built for families. Parents can send money quickly and actually see how their kids spend and save while kids get real world. Practice managing money and building habits that will stick for life. We use it for allowance spending and savings goals. JJ actually used Greenlight to track and save for her iPad, which made the whole thing feel tangible and empowering for her and saved us both from another lecture from mom. Millions of parents and kids already use Greenlight and I'm thrilled to be among them. Every day they're handling money without guidance is a missed opportunity. So start your risk free Greenlight trial today@greenlight.com tiww don't wait to teach your kids real world money skills. That's greenlight.com tiww to get started greenlight.com tiww you have one new message
B
translating
A
Disney and Pixar's Hoppers is now available on Disney.
B
You could say that again.
A
Critics are calling it Pixar's funniest movie ever and a wildly entertaining ride. Lizard Potato. It's certified fresh and verified hot. Now we party.
B
This is incredible.
A
Wow.
B
I am clearing the rest of the day.
A
Disney and Pixar now available on Disney. Rated pg. Yeah, great reframe. And I just want to make sure I'm not skipping over the 15 minute method and that I'm also maybe not oversimplifying it or maybe it's intentionally simplified, but it's basically committing to finding creating 15 minutes at a time to spend on something that matters to you, irrespective if it impacts or matters to anyone else. And some of the ways that we can do this is create a list of all the things that matter to us or the things we've always wished we would do or things we say we want to do. And I put in air quotes if we had more time and then just begin to practice that because it gives us a sense of self, of pride, of a different level of achievement when we're working on something that matters to us. And we may actually be better at all the other things throughout our day and with the people we interact with throughout our day because we've done something that matters to us. Did I miss anything?
B
The only thing I would add to it is the magical effect of doing it every single day. Right? And we know that. Sure. If I practice ukulele every day for a week for 15 minutes, you know, I would get a little bit better. If I did it every day for a month or for six months, or for six years or for 63 years, I would become a significantly better ukulele player. It is also amazing how much you can actually get done in 15 minutes. I offer a thing for sale on my website. It's a little membership thing. It's called the Daily Practicum. People pay a subscription and they. And every day, every weekday at 9 Pacific, 12 Eastern, we get on Zoom for 15 minutes. Hi. Set timer. Timer goes off. Hi. And like a zoom room full of faces look up at me with this post orgasmic glow. They're like, oh, my gosh, you won't believe what I got done. I mean, I did it. I called that person. I've been waiting to call that person for six weeks. I've been putting off calling that person. And I totally just call them. I sent that note to my friend who just lost her husband and I didn't know what to say, but I did it. I wrote the note, I took this giant pile of paper, and now it is a slightly smaller giant piece of pile of paper, like, whatever it is that matters to you. I went and sat in the garden with the sun on my face for 15 minutes. It's transformative. And even things like, well, Sam, I've got, you know, you can't clean out the garage in 15 minutes. No. Except, let's say you were to take your tumbler of wine or tea or whatever it is you like out to the garage for 15 minutes and you just sat there and sort of contemplated, just contemplate the garage for 15 minutes. Try not to get mad at it. Just soak it in. And it may be that at minute 12, you go, hold the phone. Those seven boxes are my brothers. And now we take three minutes. Jeffrey, come get your crap out of my garage. Right. And now we've cleared out half the garage without even having to do anything. And then maybe the next day again, we take a little mug of something warm into the garage and we go, all right, well, what's in this Rubbermaid tote? Oh, this is Christmas stuff. Why didn't I label it Christmas so I can tell what it is without having to look inside next time? And I'll put it towards the back, because I don't. I only need that stuff once a year. Great. And then maybe tomorrow I'm gonna wheel that busted bike out to the corner and say, busted, but free, Put a sign on it. Done. Like, the cumulative effect is amazing. And then, yes, you may get to the point where you're like, you know what? Okay, team, team, family, let's go. We're gonna clean out this garage. We're gonna clean out the rest of this garage. It's gonna take us three hours, and then we're done. And it's gonna be beautiful.
A
Yeah. And you said this earlier, and I think it's just worth repeating. We sort of suspend judgment about the 15 minutes. Like from a. It's supposed to look a certain way. Or there is a. I mean, my brain, the recovering perfectionist in me is fighting against the like, is there a step by. What do I do for each of the minute of the 15 minutes and the like that there's supposed to be something a specific accomplished. Or. I love this idea of stare at a blank paper for 15 minutes or contemplate the garage for 15 minutes. It feels so much more approachable. But let me just ask again. It doesn't sound like there is a right or wrong way to do this or outcome in that 15 minutes that's supposed to magically fix everything that's right.
B
Yeah. This is not about tactics or strategy. This is about your values and living a life that cues more closely to your values. We've all seen those stories about the hospice patients who, number one, regret spending way too much time doing things that I felt other people wanted me to do. Doing things to try and make other people happy, which, if only you had that power, wouldn't that be delightful? That would be great. But you don't have the power to make other people happy, so knock it off. And yeah, this is the other beautiful thing about the 15 minute method. In as much as there's even a method. There is. It does kind of hopscotch right over your perfectionism. Because it's 15 minutes. How good is it going to be? And you're going to do it again tomorrow. So, you know, write some crappy poetry, organize this much of your closet. You know, look at four different shirts and go, okay, this. I hate this shirt. And give it away. Fine. Done. Right. We're not trying to read. We're not trying to build Roman a Day. And. And what? I find, again, that little. You know, when you start just following the sparkly breadcrumbs like, well, I don't know where to start, but this is sort of interesting. So maybe I'll do that. I don't know where to start, but I have sort of half of a really lame idea about xyz.
A
Great.
B
Start with the half of the lame idea about XYZ. Again. It's 15 minutes. You make it to the end of the 15 minutes and go. Right. Not what I'm interested in. That did not work.
A
Right.
B
Great.
A
Now you know, I know what not to do with my next 15 minutes. Great.
B
I do mine. I mean, just as an example, I do mine. Mine's a little sort of prayer and meditation kind of journaling practice. I do either I write a letter to God or God writes a letter to me, depending on who needs to say what to whom. And I do that before I even roll over. Like, that is my first thing in the morning before my CPAP machine is off almost. I mean, like, it's really the first thing I do. And I notice that if I don't do it, my day kind of goes a little wonky, crappy. And when I do do it, things stay in a little bit of more of an even keel and it changes. I mean, sometimes it's, you know, really deep and meaningful. Sometimes it's me writing the same things over and over again. Usually is. But I know it makes a difference to me. And then it. And it makes me better, calmer, more centered, which then means that I can be of greater service to the people and the communities that I love and want to serve better.
A
And I think speaks to all of us as something we would wish for ourselves, too. Again, in preparation, I noticed you have a few. I don't know if expressions is the right word. And I'm just curious about them. I don't know if they tie into the 15 minute method or not, but the alchemy of effort, spotlight syndrome and grumpy magic. I mean, I'm just wildly curious. So what is the alchemy of effort? And does this even tie in? Or am I taking us down a rabbit trail? Which I'm okay with because in this 15 minutes, we're going to go where we go.
B
That's right. Yeah. So the alchemy of effort is literally changing lead into gold. Right. And it has to do with that exponential effect of when you. Because, you know, here's the news flash. When you do things, things happen. When you do things, things happen. Yep. And when you don't do things, things don't happen. This whole, like, oh, I've got to think about it. Right. Abstracting yourself out of doing into. I'm thinking, right. That nothing's gonna happen with the thinking. It's not gonna happen. All. Most of what you need to know is on the other side of the doing. So the alchemy of effort is you put a little effort into something, you. You do a thing, you make a. And then it's already changed because it's gone from being inside of your head to onto a piece of paper or into the world in some fashion, and then somebody else sees it or interacts with it, and they are changed. And it is changed because it's been viewed. Right. Was that Schrodinger's cat or something? And then you are changed because it has changed. And we get this, like, sort of moibis strip, this sort of infinity loop of the thing. And you know this. You've written a book. Like, you had your intentions when the book went out, but then other people read it, and they come back with their comments and their experiences, and you go, oh, my gosh, I never would have predicted that. Or, I didn't realize that would read that way. That's interesting. Or, oh, shoot, I said that. I'm being misunderstood. Okay. Whatever it is. And even if the reaction is negative, you know, even if you do something, people are like, oh, we hate that. Like, okay, interesting. Let's keep playing with it. Whatever. So that's. The alchemy of effort is just don't anticipate your practical, logical mind to be able to anticipate the magical alchemical effects of you, again, making your little dolls or doing whatever it is that you love to do. It may seem silly and small, but you don't know. Right? You don't know the effect it can have on people.
A
And what I'm hearing is these 15 minutes that we spend on something that matters leads to exponential opportunity, results, return, whatever you want to call it. It's like, 15 minutes isn't just 15 minutes here.
B
Yeah. And if you're injured, if you're into the woo at all, I feel like it kind of lets the angels know you're serious.
A
That's a great way to put it. Yes.
B
Yeah. You know, there's a difference between, like, oh, yeah, I really want to go to Paris too. Like, I'm spending 15 minutes every day writing out a budget for Paris. I'm spending 15 minutes every day writing out an itinerary for Paris. I'm spending it 50 minutes every day cruising the discount airfare sites so I can get it in under the. You know, like, what is. You know, I'm. I'm like, that's how things. And then and then, because we've all had this happen, right? You take a couple little tiny baby steps towards something you're sort of interested in, and all of a sudden the universe comes rushing at you. I cannot count how many times I've had clients and students say, like, I don't know, Sam, I didn't think this 15 minute thing was going to work. But then I started, you know, I just wanted to write a book. So I started writing 15 minutes a day. And then the other day I was in line with the dry cleaners and it turns out the person next to me, her sister's a literary agent. And now I have a meeting next week. I'm like, right, yeah.
A
Because it happens all the time.
B
It's crazy, because your mind is. Because it's not magic. It's. You know, your brain is good at finding answers to questions. Your brain is good at finding what it's looking for. If I tell you, go find all the red things, your brain will automatically start looking for red things. So when you are doing this action of I am making this thing happen, I am creating this thing, this life for myself, you start to find the resources and reinforcements to do that.
A
And is that Spotlight syndrome or is that something different?
B
No, Spotlight syndrome is that self consciousness we feel when we think that everybody's looking at us like, ah, yes.
A
Or that everybody cares infinitely about everything we're doing and saying, right?
B
And we bobble our words or where. And everyone's noticing and oh my God, they're gonna think I'm an idiot. I had a client one time. This is the most heartbreaking thing ever. She was very new actor in la, very green. She got an audition, she was super excited and for whatever, I don't know what happened, traffic happened or something, and she didn't make the audition. And as far as she was concerned, that was, that was the information that she should quit acting forever. Because she thought, well, they'll never see me again. I've ruined it. I had one chance and I ruined it. And I'm like, let's say their name was Jeannie. I'm like, jeannie, how many people do you think, how many actors are there in Los Angeles? How many auditions happen every day? How many? Like, so you missed the audition, big deal. Like, no, but she was done. Like, it was, it was heartbreaking. Heartbreaking to me because she was over interpreting the information that everybody was going to pay attention. Everybody's going to remember her as the one who blew us off or whatever. Nobody notices, nobody. So, yes, the PS on that is nobody notices, nobody cares.
A
Right?
B
Totally.
A
Yeah. I mean, I could give you so many examples, but I want to ask about grumpy Magic, and we're running out of time, so tell us about that. But yes, spotlight syndrome speaks to me. Nobody cares as much as we think they do or is noticing.
B
Right. And, you know, I. I do want to get to grumpy magic, but I also want to. I just thought of this the other day because I also hear a lot about imposter syndrome, and I want to say, you know what? I think the imposter syndrome is you behaving like you don't know what you're doing. Like, you acting like you're not the authority that you are. That's the imposter. The imposter is not like, oh, people think I can do things that I can't. No, no, they think you can do things that you can. You pretending that you can't is the imposter. Anyway, Grumpy magic is just has to do with the tyranny of positive thinking, like the oppressive positivity of the world, and particularly my brothers and sisters in the personal development community that, like, you have to have a positive mental attitude and you got to go into it like, no, you don't.
A
Thank you.
B
Crappy people succeed all the time. Pessimists get rich. Grumpy people get married, like, and find true love. It's. You do not have to be little Susie Cheerful all the fucking time.
A
I'm living proof of all of that.
B
Right? So go to it.
A
I'm the grumpiest. Yeah.
B
Yeah. So go to it, Grumpy. Go to it Disbelieving. Go to it. Upset. Go to it broken. It's fine. Your creativity will accept you right where you are. You do not have to believe your affirmations,
A
which is actually one of the reasons I avoid affirmations, because I don't believe em like, I have to. I had another guest, Amy Greensmith, on the podcast, and she talked about basically reframing your affirmations so that they're believable to you. And I was like, thank you. Because this whole, like, I'm struggling with money and being like, I'm abundant and create wealth everywhere I go, I'm like, bullshit.
B
Bullshit.
A
Anyway, okay, this has been an absolute pleasure, Sam. Thank you so much. Listener. You need to go to therealsambet.com to learn more about Sam and her work. You can also find her on all of the social medias herealsambennett and definitely get her book, the 15 Minute Method. Sam, thank you for a great conversation.
B
My pleasure. Nicole. Thank you so much for having me. And thank you so much for your great work in the world.
A
Appreciate it. Thank you. All right, friend, I don't know about you, but I feel like the universe has been trying to send me this message a lot lately. Do less of everything except what matters most. And even what matters most is a lot fewer things than I think it is. Because at the end of the day, whenever that might be, there is no award for Overworked Woman of the Year. There is no accounting of all the shit that you've done or accomplished, no eulogy that is going to include how great you were at all your tasks, no odes to perfection, and no demonstration of how well you responded to all of your emails. And no mention of how clean your house was. It will all get narrowed down to those very few things that matter most at the end. So what are we waiting for? Someone else to decide what truly matters for us? A point in time where all the things all of a sudden get easy and simple. As if that's ever going to just happen. No, we get to decide. And like so many things worth doing, we start small. One step at a time. 15 minutes of our day devoted to what matters most to you. That, my friend, is woman's work.
B
This Father's Day when you ship UPS Air at the UPS store, your items arrive on time or your money back guaranteed at no extra cost.
A
It's like the father of all shipping services.
B
It shows up to the airport way too early just to play it safe. It's overprotective about all the things that truly matter. And it's always prompt, especially to be with family. Make it your first choice to celebrate your dad. Ship UPS Air with our money back guarantee exclusively at the UPS Store US retail locations. Visit the upsstore.com airshipping for full details. Terms and conditions apply. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment
A
of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate first 3 months only,
B
then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com Athletic Brewing Company Crafts Award winning non alcoholic beers for those who want to be part of every round. With over 185 flavor awards, they're exceptional NA beers that fit your lifestyle and any social occasion. Summer's full of good times and Athletic fits right in. Go to athleticbrewing.com to have brews delivered to your door, or find them at a bar, restaurant or store near you. Nier Beer Athletic Brewing Co. Fit for all Times Starting a business can seem like a daunting task unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to start and grow your business.
A
From designing a website to marketing to
B
selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need.
A
There's a reason millions of companies like
B
Mattel, Heinz and Allbirds continue to trust and use them. With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into Sign up for
A
your $1 per month trial at shopify.com specialoffer stitch fix stop shopping.
B
Get styled a plus on the outfit Ms. Turner, you are about to slay parent teacher conferences. Oh these just the most perfect fitting jeans my stylist sent me. Oh hello you who didn't set one foot in a mall and still looks amazing.
A
Just share your size, style and budget
B
and your stylist sends personalized looks right to your door.
A
Stitch Fix get started today@stitch fix.com to
B
my stylist, this look is dedicated to you.
A
Thank you, thank you.
Podcast: This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil
Episode: CLASSIC EPISODE: The 15-Minute Method To Getting It Done with Sam Bennett
Date: June 15, 2026
Guest: Sam Bennett, Creativity & Productivity Specialist
Host: Nicole Kalil
This episode redefines "woman’s work" by challenging overcommitment, perfectionism, and the busyness badge that so many women wear. Host Nicole Kalil speaks with Sam Bennett, author and productivity expert, about Bennett’s “15-Minute Method”—a surprisingly simple approach to making progress on what matters most to you, even amid overloaded schedules. The conversation delves into practical strategies, personal anecdotes, and insights on breaking through procrastination, perfectionism, and the busyness trap to find fulfillment and creativity.
Skip the First Step (Just Start):
Letting Go of Perfectionism:
On Skipping Perfection:
On the 15-Minute Power:
On “Spotlight Syndrome”:
On “Grumpy Magic”:
On Affirmations:
Alchemy of Effort: Every small effort you make in the world has ripple effects and can lead to unforeseen opportunities.
Grumpy Magic: You don’t need to be upbeat or believe in the process 100%—just do it in whatever state you’re in.
"At the end of the day, there is no award for Overworked Woman of the Year… We get to decide. And like so many things worth doing, we start small. One step at a time. 15 minutes of our day devoted to what matters most to you. That, my friend, is woman’s work." — Nicole [37:09]
Visit therealsambennett.com or follow Sam Bennett on social media @TheRealSamBennett. Check out her book "The 15 Minute Method: The Surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done."
This episode is a must-listen for any overwhelmed, recovering perfectionist, or creative soul seeking practical ways to reclaim time, joy, and authenticity—15 minutes at a time.